Bonanas for Bonanza - Re-Release: Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #63: “The Thunderhead Swindle”

Episode Date: July 9, 2025

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDaly Moonanas For Moonanza! Novelist, memoirist, actress, comedian and tea merchant Moon Unit Zappa joins Dalton and Mutt to discuss Season 2, Episode 30, 'The Thunderhead Swindle’. Moon might have been disappointed with this episode of Bonanza, but you won't be! It's mostly about mining boundary lines, but also features Ben Cartwright taking the law into his own hands and some really irresponsible use of explosives! They also discuss Moon's perfectly normal upbringing and her brand new memoir, "Earth to Moon"! Order Earth to Moon at https://moonunit.comFeaturing Matt GourleyMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.comRecord date: 7/29/2024 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is sponsored by the OCS Summer Pre-Roll Sale. Sometimes when you roll your own joint, things can turn out a little differently than what you expected. Maybe it's a little too loose. Maybe it's a little too flimsy. Or maybe it's a little too covered in dirt because your best friend distracted you when you dropped it on the ground. There's a million ways to roll a joint wrong, but there's one roll that's always perfect. The Pre-Roll. Shop the Summer Pre-Roll and Infuse Pre-Roll Sale today at always perfect. The pre-roll. Shop the summer pre-roll and infuse pre-roll sale today at ocs.ca and participating retailers. Here on this free feed, we release an episode of Bananas for Bananza every other week. If you want to hear them earlier and ad free, please subscribe to patreon.com slash andydaily.

You'll also find the entire archive there, as well as two bonus podcasts, access to the discord and more. Subscribe today and now enjoy this episode of Bananas for Bonanza. Pride and forever made pride Bananas for Bananas We always begin an episode of Bananas for Bananas with a yee-haw! And a go- I was born again ready. Man, hot damn. This is Bananas for Bonanza.

Still the only podcast that is devoted to the television show, Bonanza. Can you believe that? We're 63 episodes into this and nobody else has said, damn, I'm going to get in on that too. There's only one podcast of all the podcasts in the world where they're talking about the greatest television show that ever was made. I know. It seems like they made one superhero movie and then everybody's like, I got to

make a superhero movie. Why is that not happening with Bonanza Podcasts? I don't know, but I'm glad of it because I don't know what I'd have to do. Meet them in the street and shoot them down if they tried. Well folks, we've got a very special guest today as we're talking about episode 30 of the second season of Bonanza. Our guest today is Moonyut Zappa. Thanks for having me.

Oh man, it's a pleasure I have to say. I count myself a fan. Yeah, we're big fans, and I'm a huge fan of your hat. Only the live streamers can appreciate it. Tell us about your hat. First of all, it's black and it's about three feet tall. It's're big fans. I'm a huge fan of your hat. Only the live streamers can appreciate it. Tell us about your hat. First of all, it's black and it's about three feet tall. It's a big one. I had it made a few years ago because I missed the boat on the Vivian Westwood gigantic hats

in the, I guess it was the early 80s, the Malcolm McLaren world of all that business. I don't know these people. Vivian Westwood and Malcolm McLaren world of all that business. And so- I don't know these people, Vivian Westwood and Malcolm McLaren. Yeah, this is an 80s thing. If you were into 80s things, you're like, oh yes, oh yes, I understand. But you could Google this. You know who wears a hat not unlike that a little bit.

I think I know where this is going. Oh, you do? Our boy. Our boy George? Haas. Oh, Haas. Who are you gonna say? I was gonna say boy George. Oh, well, he does? Our boy. Our boy George? Haas. Oh, Haas. Who are you gonna say? I was gonna say boy George.

Oh, well, he does actually, currently. I think he had the, or he, she, they, boy George, I think that hat was a Vivian Westwood. Oh, really? I have to say, this is hands down the finest hat that has ever been on this podcast. I will also say that it is a hat that is at home on the range

at the Kentucky Derby and as a fascinator for any royal wedding of your choice. And those are the three main venues for a hat. Yeah. And that's my point. So I was thrilled to come on the podcast. I was like, I can wear the hat. It is a beautiful hat. And you're right. It is not unlike Hoss's hat. I think it's a little shorter than Hoss's hat. Hoss can fit, ironically, he could fit like five brains in there. His hat is the Burj Khalifa of hats. Is that the name of that tall building in Dubai? I was going to say Sears Tower, but I figured I

was behind the times. I don't know architecture. I would have gone with a mountain, but yeah, I'm in. Okay. I'm in. It's the Everest of hats. Yours is the finest Fuji. It's the K2. That's my favorite name of a mountain. How many people have died on your hat? Well, up to date, you're counting romance as well? Oh, sure.

Yeah. How many romances have died on that hat? Many, many, many. Many romances. Moon, we're going to talk just a little on that? Many, many, many. Many romances. Moon, we're going to talk just a little bit about your life, I suppose, but we really want to. Have you seen this episode of Bonanza? Sadly, I did. It was a non-Altman-directed episode. That's true. And I was so mad about the episode that I got that I actually skipped ahead and watched a couple

others. Oh, you did? Yeah. I was angry. I was like, why did I get that one? Anyway ahead and saw watched a couple others. Oh, you did? Yeah, I was I was angry. I was like, why did I get that one? Anyway, I'm happy to discuss this one. Well, we never I mean, we never assign episodes in particular to, you know, thematically. I might have chose an episode that had even the hint of somewhere in the frame at any time a woman. That's a that's a rare find.

It is very rare. Woman populated episode. Why does this episode make you mad? This episode is called the Thunderhead Swindle, and it's got everything. It's got three fourths of the regular cast. And it's one of them episodes where one of the Cartwrights is pressed into the job of a detective. Is he pressed into it or does he kind of take it on?

Force himself into the situation. Does he take the law into his hands? Usually in other episodes of the 4F Watch, he knows better than to just take the law into his hands. He'll leave things to Sheriff Roy. And I guess he wasn't satisfied. So he plows on, he trespasses and then kills people while that's happening and there's no consequences. No, we're finding that the through line of this show is the Cartwrights seem to have invented imminent domain. Right.

You're right about that. Okay, I see what you mean. There's trespassants. That's fair. Okay. And normally I do love a take the law into your hands situation when it's about women. When women, when the government or the police or the something or the doesn't step in to protect women, then yeah, then I like a nice take.

Well, he's stepping in to protect silver though, isn't that about the same? No. You think it's different? Unless he's, does he, is he going to go into dentistry? What's happening? I mean, he literally picks up a hunk. I think he pockets a piece too. That's not his. Oh, you think, did he steal a piece? I thought he picked up a piece. Well, he's an investor in the golden curry mine now that he's entitled to some of that silver.

But I do think it's weird that a mountain has like, it's all there and then just one foot over, nothing. Yeah. And ain't that a bitch. Ain't that a plot device? Ain't that a bitch. That's true. Ain't that a plot device? Ain't that a plot device. God damn. All right. Well, we'll get into it scene by scene, I swear to God. But Moon, you've got a book coming out.

Holy shit. It's called Earth to Moon, isn't it? It's called Earth to Moon. Yep. Why is it called that? What's it mean? Well, you'll discover that it was something that my mom used to say to me when I was spacing out.

Oh my God. To bring me back to the present moment. Isn't that interesting? Because let's say, what if your name was something else? What if it was Jane? You might say Earth to Jane. People say that. They might.

And that's just fine. But the opportunity to say Earth to Moon, which then has the double meaning of there is a moon, which is not on the earth. Gale loved cleverness and puns. It was first possibly used affectionately, and then it became a little dig. Meaning like, I need you to pay attention kind of thing? Yeah, and then it was followed by sentences I didn't care for. And so, in order to reclaim myself, I turned it around to Earth to Moon from my perspective. Wait a minute. Okay. Oh, wait a minute. So like I might say, this table to Dalton is a fine table.

And you're sort of saying that same context, earth to moon, here's the earth from the perspective of moon, which is you. I get it now. We're here on earth, come back. And then I'm like, actually I'm from here, earth looks this way. Right, you ever see that picture of the earth

from the moon? Is there only the one? I think they only had time to take the one picture before they had to play golf and get out of there. Back then, the camera timers. Yes, go on. Well, anyway, you just reminded me of that. There's a hundred pictures of them playing golf.

Yeah, yeah, lots of pictures of golf. You know that golf ball they hit on the moon, that's still circling the moon because there's no gravity up there. Yes, there is gravity up there. No, there ain't no gravity. Yes, there is gravity up there. No, there ain't no gravity. Yes, there is. There's one eighth gravity. It's in the theme song to the God damn Moon ends the show.

I wish you were right, but that golf ball is still circling the moon for all time. There's no way. Yeah. Anyway, what else? Oh yeah, you called your parents by their first names, didn't you? You just called her Gail and that was- Gail and Frank. I was introduced to them that way. Yes, and they are my real parents. When you were born, you were introduced to them? The doctor who did the introductions? Gail and Frank. Gail and Frank introduced themselves to you.

Yeah, and when Gail became a grandmother, she was Grand Gail. Oh, this is my grand Gail Mm-hmm. Okay, that's unusual. Was he Grand Frank then? Frank wasn't around to see him. Okay. Yeah, but he I don't know what he would have chosen But yeah, it's uh, it's very weird to Call your parents by their first names from the time you're very tiny It does create a sense of from the time you're very tiny. It does create a sense of zero nurturing. I'm sure. Well, so what was their thinking there? They just wanted you to feel like you

were on their level as a kind of peer? That we were just smaller, tall people. Okay, gotcha. Was there at any time sort of a sense of like, I don't want you to call me mom because I don't want to do the work of a mom? Now you're cluing in. Now you are getting the hang of this. Don't think of me as a mother for any of its good or bad connotations. Yup. Fend for yourself. Don't have a childhood and go. You can't, you can't perform poorly at a job if you don't hold the title. Is that the sort of thinking?

I guess that's right. Okay. Do you like that idea? No, I don't. I think that's a neat idea. If you used to get a job as a bartender and you made it clear, you said, please don't call me bartender. Just consider me a man who's standing on this side of the bar. Then the expectations of you would be a lot lower, wouldn't they? of the bar, then the expectations of you would be a lot lower, wouldn't they? That's right. And that's why I'm such a high achiever. Oh, wait. Oh, wait.

You're a goddamn high achiever. You wrote a – this ain't even your first of the books, is it? You've written another book? It's my second. This is your second damn book? The first one was called America the Beautiful, wasn't it? Yep. It came out on September 11th. Not of 2001 though.

Oh dear. Oh, it did it? How did you plan that? Day one of press, I was getting mic'd and the first hour came down and I thought, okay, this is not going to do well as a book. You did not plan it to come out on a nation's tragedy. I didn't. But this time I thought this has to be entertaining enough to withstand a terrorist attack. And so I think I did a pretty good job of that. I did not see a COVID coming.

But I did. I feel like if you were in a cage, this would be some reading you'd enjoy. Well, how am I going to end up in the cage? Are we going to end up in the cage? Maybe somebody's going to hold you'd enjoy. Well, how am I going to end up in the cage? Are we going to end up in the cage? Maybe somebody's going to hold you for ransom. Okay. Oh, well, it could happen. They made a cage that could hold Dolan Wilk. I'll tell you that right now. They tried. But okay, but this one, that was a novel, wasn't it? Yes.

This one's a memoir. A memoir. Let me call it like an American, an autobiography. This one comes out August the 20th. People should just batten down your hatches for August the 20th. Shit's going to go down now. We don't know what it's going to be, but it'll be something. Yeah, right. Something big is going to happen. Oh my God. Hey, can people pre-order it already? They sure can. Where is that on Amazon? Or they can go to moonunit.com. Thanks for asking.

What the moonunit.com? What's that website? Yeah. Really? Can I get everything else I can get on Amazon at moonunit.com? Well it'll refer you to several places where you can make a decision that suits your personality. So there are other options besides the one that most people use. And so you can make your personality. So there are other options besides the one that most people use.

And so you can make your selection. Where are you going to buy your book? Well, I don't need to buy it. Why not? Don't you want to make your book? When I wrote my book, I was told I was responsible to buy 10,000 copies. Is that not the case on your book?

I even had to buy 10,000 copies of my book. Yeah. A bit different. It is. You've got a different deal like this. All right. Okay. And then also I mentioned to you, normally you can smell and enjoy a book, but now you can also taste a book because I made a tea to celebrate. Wait a minute. This is my book. This is multimedia. You did say that before, but I didn't understand what you were talking about. Right.

So I've made a special tea. Here it is. That honors my book. It's called Earth to Moon Unit Tea. So you? I have a tea company, a little tiny tea company. What is a tea company? How does that work?

Well, you can go on. That's a big question. I'd like to know. You can go on my website and you can order my tea. Oh my god. I have a few blends and I have a couple of single origins. Do you have a favorite of your tea or do you mix it up? But is there like if your gut's telling you, I want tea, this is the one I mostly go to.

I mostly go to my Daily Moon, which is a smoky Earl Grey with rose petals. Oh, that sounds real nice. But not everyone loves the taste of barbecue sauce. You're talking to two people who... I take a bath in barbecue sauce. By the way, are you going to do some marketing things? Are you going to do a line of beef jerky and vegan jerky? What are you going to do? I feel like you need a jerky. We get sent a lot of jerky somehow. In fact, not just- Are you wondering why? I guess not, but some of it's-

No. We got no joke alligator jerky at one point. Nasty. We did. Yeah. Yeah. More delicious. I try all of them.

I have a strict policy that if something can't eat me, I don't eat it. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Because I don't know. Really? I feel like I got to eat them before they eat me. I'm not trying to pick a fight with alligators. I think if I run into a goddamned alligator, it's going to know that I've eaten its can. Exactly. And it's going to go, I better think twice about this fella. Oh, I hope you're right. My friend, for your sake, I hope you're right.

I'm telling you, there's one eighth gravity on the moon. I wish there was. I'm afraid there's not. Are there any episodes with water on Bonanza? On Bonanza? Yes. They have built a mill to harness the river for some purpose in the past. And there is an episode where Adam falls in and his toupee falls off, remember? Yes, that's right. Adam Cartwright, who does not appear in this episode, has his toupee fall off on some river expedition.

He's trying to save a calf. And that's not part of the story. That's just, they didn't do a second take. Oh, I see. The other thing, going back to tall hats. Yeah. Okay, what's Michael Landon's character's name? Oh, Little Joe. Little Joe's hat is a jaunty side hat.

That's right. And normally for some hats, you have to put kind of a braid in your hair and pin it down. How does he keep that thing on? That's more alarming than Hoss's hat trying to get through. Do you think these fellas have their hats pinned onto their hair? I don't know. I'm just saying I would love to do a little wardrobe and hair and dive.

Here's my theory. I think it's different for every one of them. But Michael Andan, as we know from Highway to Heaven and Little House on the Prairie, has a fine head of brilopad-like hair. And I think it would stabilize that. I believe that's a rakish tilt. Haas, on the other hand, a fine head of Brillo pad-like hair, and I think it would stabilize that. I believe that's a rakish tilt. Haas, on the other hand, I think his head's so big that it just, you know? And then Lorne Green and Adam's toupees are probably built into their hats,

like Gallagher, when he used to take off his hat and his hair would come with him. Oh boy. They are lucky that they get along so well, because how old do you think those boys are meant to be? 18? Oh yeah. Teens?

Very likely. They're all from different mothers, are you aware of that? I did not know that that's scandalous. And they all died mysteriously. Lorne Green had three wives, all of whom he buried. But first each one of them gave him a son. And so now he's raising the three sons of his three different wives.

Do we have proof that they were dead before he buried them? No, we do not. No, we don't. Interesting. I saw the one with the seafaring daughter of- Oh, you went beyond episode 63. I sure did. Yeah. That's a spoiler. I don't want to- No, I don't mind having a little bit of spoilers if you want to- No, but I was just trying to understand the family dynamic because you're thinking they

get along, but those boys are never going to inherit that land, I feel. Why do you say that? I don't know. I mean, I guess I'm applying modern day thinking to that circumstance. Because the estate taxes will be too much? I don't know. Just that the age of the boys, just that dynamic of being a 70-year-old man and your 90-year-old dad still alive.

It seems like that's where the story's going. They're never going to get the land in a time when they could be robust about having it. Yeah. Oh, I see. He could outlive them, maybe. Yeah, he could. Certainly could. Well, especially since when they're making this show, when it first came on the air,

I think Dan Blocker was like 34 and Lauren Green was 44. Yeah. And he's playing their father. So yeah, it adds to the problem. Yeah. And then when I think I saw, I forget the comic that used to do this bit about how our elders really lived to be about 27. What in the earliest days of man?

When they refer to the elders, they're actually only referring to people that were not much more than 30. That's crazy. Is that a hilarious idea? That's insane. And the other thing I was laughing at was on Patton's episode, because I also went back. You went back, right? I went back and forward.

Oh my god. When he's talking about Haas, and I forget how he describes their potential love experience, but he describes her as a box of rolling papers, and I thought she would be like, I would rather be with a band of murderers who are murdering than take a chance with you, because you are such an enormous man.

That made me, I think I had to pull over. I was laughing so hard about that whole bit. That really cracked me up. So if you're enjoying this episode, go back and listen to that one. Yeah, right. This one's going to be good. Because this was a hell of an episode, man. It's all about the mining.

I love when we get deep into mining. We had an early episode that was all about the engineering of mining. Oh yes. We've learned about the Philip Diedesheimer honeycomb method of timbering a mine. And I could talk to you about that at length if you like, but I won't. We'll do that off Mike. Some other time. Well, let me get into some of the fun facts we learned. What about the dynamite moment?

That seems like that's a foolish thing with all of the... How is that going to be like it's just localized dynamite? Yeah, there's a fella, he lights up a stick of dynamite to throw at his enemies, but he ends up being hoisted on his own photography. But wouldn't that just kill everybody and collapse the whole... Right, you think it collapsed the whole mine, yeah. Oh, collapse, yeah. Like everyone should have been trapped in there, no?

Well maybe that was his plan. He says, forget it. If I can't have this all to myself. I think he was still trying to maintain the domination over the silver at that point. I guess so. So you think it was strategically unsound? I do. Okay. I will hand it to you. You found the first and only problem with Bonanza.

Wow. It happened. 63 episodes in, somebody found a plot hole of some kind. We got it done and there will never be another. All right. All right. Thank goodness. Good to get it over with. Hey, speaking of the Patton episode, we talked a little bit in that episode because your

father's name came up and yours as well because there was a guest actor in that episode whose name appeared in the liner notes of Frank Zappa's first album. And then we did a little deep dive and it turned out that fellow was a friend of a guy named Vito Palikas. This is someone I have a connection to. And you dated a lady who went to, I believe, theater camp of some kind with Vito's children, Freakus Policus and Groovy Nipples Policus. Does this ring a bell? We had a painting that hung in our house, like a hallway that was a portrait of Groovy. She just went by Groovy, that makes sense.

It was just Groovy. That's a good idea. But there was, I feel like the artwork was done by Carl Franzoni But I'm not entirely certain but the the artwork that was one of the portraits and maybe it was just grooving a t-shirt and underpants and then there was an orgy scene and None of it made me happy. Yeah. Yeah, she was young at the time Well, I mean I was I was young looking at it too. So she would have been close to my age, I would think.

The picture in your hallway depicted an orgy? I grew up with an orgy painting, yes. I see. Okay. And Groovy Palikas was in that picture? No, it was in another painting by the same artist. Oh, I see. But that art style, I think it's why I tend to stay away from museums and making art myself. Because you never know when you're going to stumble upon. Just the style was so distinct and the colors and the... You better find out who exactly that artist was so you can avoid them more directly. Or maybe track them down.

That's good advice, thanks. You could call a museum ahead of time and find out, do you have any works by this particular artist? Any orgy scenes? Any orgy scenes? Anything like that at all? Okay. There are a lot of classical orgy paintings.

Is that the same? That's probably no good either. Those usually have cherubs in it. Yeah, that's true. They're like, oh, we're watching over it. It's probably no good either. Those usually have cherubs in it. Yeah, that's true. They're like, oh, we're watching over it. It's probably fine. There's no cherubs watching over the orgy that was in your hallway. No.

Yeah, orgy paintings really jump the shark at some point. And also, don't you want to be in the game rather than watching the game? I know. That's- I actually don't. That would be disgusting to me. What's creepier, being in an orgy or watching one at a distance and they don't know you're watching I'm assuming yeah paint it paint

a picture it'll last longer the never-ending orgy that's what somebody said to that artist he was watching an orgy they say paint a picture to last longer he said I'll give my oils an orgy. They said, paint a picture to last longer. He said, I'll get my oils. Is there an orgy scene in any of the Bonanza episodes? I don't believe we've seen an orgy yet in any of these episodes. Would a never ending orgy have to, by definition, include Sting to do his tantric? Oh yeah, that would be exhausting. What about a whorehouse where it was just

a tantric whorehouse? That'd be a nightmare. But are there whorehouses on the show? Does anyone go to the... There are tacitly. Oftentimes, in an episode of Bonanza, the only woman is a very nicely dressed gal whose job title is saloon gal. And we know for certain that she cozes up to patrons

and gets them to buy bottle after bottle with her charms. And then it's fairly implied that there can be more than that in the way of having sex someplace. But- What would they call it? Did they call it sex at the time or what was the? Probably coitus or carnal knowledge, I bet they did. Relations maybe.

Relations, yeah. Knowing, I knew that woman. Relations maybe. Relations, yeah. Knowing. I knew that woman. I knowed her. Walking someone home. The euphemism. But no, that's the interesting thing because there sure as hell ain't going to be no premarital sex for the cartwrights.

They're upstanding young men and they never do get married. So just keep that in mind. They're frustrated, but they'll get some kissing in. Let me tell you some things about the date that this episode aired. This episode is sponsored by the OCS Summer Pre-Roll Sale. Sometimes when you roll your own joint, things can turn out a little differently than what you expected. Maybe it's a little too loose. Maybe it's a little too flimsy. Or Maybe it's a little too loose. Maybe it's a little too flimsy. Or maybe it's a little too covered in dirt because your best friend distracted you and

you dropped it on the ground. There's a million ways to roll a joint wrong, but there's one roll that's always perfect. The pre-roll. Shop the summer pre-roll and infuse pre-roll sale today at OCS.ca and participating retailers. This episode aired on April 29th, 1961. Okay. That wasn't porn yet. Nope. Nobody was. But hey, goddamn, my screensaver.

But that happened to be the 100th day of John F. Kennedy's presidency. He's probably like, everything's going fine. We only had that one bay of pigs. And then there was a- I'm sorry. I'll be right back. Some major mistakes happening outside. This old gorlitz folly it's called. This construction project back there requires oversight at all times. The Absent-Minded Professor is still the number one movie at the box office. You ever see that one? It's got Flubber.

Who's that audience? Flubber. Flubber is what it's about, but it's got what's his name? The guy from My Three Sons was the star of it. It's a Disney movie. Yes, with the cleft in his chin. Oh, god, what is his name? What's his name? Oh, boy. Yeah, Fred McMurray.

Okay, yes. I think. Yeah, you're right. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Don't Worry by Marty Robbins is the number one country song. You know that song? Nope. All right, how about, you know this one, Runaway by Del Shannon. That's number one country song. You know that song? Nope. All right.

How about, you know this one, Runaway by Del Shannon. That's a damn fine song. That I think, I kind of feel that rock and roll, they could have stopped doing rock and roll after that song, because it has everything in it. You know what I mean? Is this your character, you saying that,

or is this you also saying that? What do you mean by that? I don't know, do you, how would your friend Andy Dudley feel about that? Oh, Donald Dudley? I don't know. How would your friend Andy Dudley feel about that? Oh, Donald Dudley? I ain't never met that guy. How does he feel about it? He likes that song too, I think.

My friend Matt likes that song too. Right away. Do you know, it's got a keyboard solo in there and the fella that plays it invented the keyboard that he played it on. Farfisa? It's called a Musitron. A Musitron. If you wanted to have that same sound in your song, you had to come crawling to this guy

that invented it. Do you agree that rock and roll should have stopped at the song Run Away? I do not. You don't? No, because then what about Led Zeppelin? Who? What? Oh, well.

Yeah. Yeah, we don't need any. And Dale Shannon, he also, he recorded this song and then he went on to do a cover album of Hank Williams' song. So even he knew, he said, that's good. We're done with rock and roll. I did it. Get back to country. Back to the limitless three chord structure of country music. Exactly. Yeah. What was the... Why would you describe Frank Zappa's music? Is it rock and roll? That's a great question. I don't think I would attempt to describe it. You're not going to even try that?

I will say that all sounds were potentially music. They were all paint colors. Oh my God. So anything that you could, that's something. How many country albums does he do? He didn't do country albums, but he definitely has country songs. Oh yeah? All right.

Harder Than Your Husband. Harder Than Your Husband? Hang on now. Is that like Saloon Girl? Are we supposed to take that a certain way? Well, you should listen to it and you tell me. I don't want to put thoughts and words in your head. Okay. All right. All right. We're going to listen to harder than your husband.

Well, what else? Oh, we always try to find out a celebrity that was born on the day this episode aired. Man, we got a good one this time. Japanese voice actor Fumihiko Tachiki. You've heard him on, now some of these titles, I don't know if these are, I guess these are translated from Japanese. I don't know. Some of the shows he's been a voice actor on are Go Go Loser Ranger, Restaurant to Another World, The Marose Mononokian, A Little Snow Fairy Sugar, Those Who Hunt Elves, and Bebop High School. I feel like these are all in Quentin Tarantino's private collection. He just goes, yep, put that one on now.

Next to his foot videos. Yeah, he's reputed to have a foot thing, Quentin Tarantino. What's that about? I think documented to have a foot thing, not just repeated. Is it because in his movies he does lots of closeups on foots? Is it what it is? Well, I think that's a factor. That's a factor. Or a result.

Don't you think that that's part of the, like, oh, I could do this all the time and maybe other people like it too? I mean, don't you think you have some hidden quirks that are particular to only you? I don't think so. The way you like it done, whatever the thing is? some hidden quirks that are your particular to only you? I don't think so. The way you like it done, whatever the thing is? I know, the only closest I can come is, but this is, all cowboys do this. Like if I'm alone on the range,

I'll dig a hole in the ground and pour some water in there and then I'll fuck a hole in the ground. But. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That to me seems completely normal. Let me ask you this, is missionary a kink? Is missionary a kink? That's a good question. Yeah, because I'm pretty twisted.

I could go sometimes 20 minutes in that. That's a long damn time. Me and the earth don't take half that long. Really? Yeah. Oh my God. Wow. If I was listening to this, I would have to pull over. You would.

And have a laugh about that. Yeah. I'm glad you're not driving while we're doing it. Here's some fun facts about some of the people that did blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The director of this episode, this is the final episode of Bonanza directed by Dick Motor.

This man's name, his name is Dick Motor and he's a, what else can I tell you about it? Wait, so this is the final episode that he directed? Yeah. He directed three episodes. This is the third of three. Total. Yep. He got stolen away by a wagon train.

He went on to do lots of wagon trains, as did the writer of this episode, Gene Kuhn, who is credited with creating the Klingons. Really? And he had the idea for the Munsters. He had quite a career. William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy both dedicated their autobiographies to Gene Kuhn. This guy's really got a thing for prosthetic foreheads. Is there one of this episode? Well, no, Munsters and Klingons. Oh, I see. This guy's really got a thing for prosthetic foreheads. Is there one in this episode?

No, monsters and Cleons, you know? Oh, I see. Oh, that is an interesting... Oh, now I got it. Now that's a... Now I'm interested. Yeah, now you wanna know. We got her.

Weird foreheads, go. That's his thing that only he's interested in. Oh yeah. Jack Cunningham, the big bad guy in this episode, was played by a man named Parley Bear. This is his first- But going back to the big foreheads for just a moment. Yes, yes.

Do you think it's because of Hoss' large hat? He was just like, I like tall things that are just disproportionate. Well, I would ask you the same question. Oh yeah, you've got a tall hat yourself. Are you hiding a gigantic rubber forehead under there. Joe, Parley Bear was a circus ringmaster and he worked at, you ever go to Jungle Land USA in Thousand Oaks, California? No. Well, you could go there and you could see the lion from the Metra Goldwyn Mayor Roar in the beginning of those movies. He lived there, as did Mr. Ed. It was that sort of a place

where like showbiz animals would go. Anyway. It was like the sag retirement home for animals? Sure. He was on that. Anyway, that's not such a fun fact, but he worked there later in his life training animals at Jungle Land USA, did Parley Bear. All right, Vito Scott. I feel like Jungle Land USA is a sitcom hiding in plain sight. Of course it is. Just somebody taking care of a sad batch of showbiz animals. Yeah.

That's a world. Do you know that Bubbles the Chimp is still with us? I did not know, but I did see an amazing play at a theater in Atwater where they somebody I don't know what it was but Laurie Metcalfe was in it and a gentleman who played you don't know it at first that he's playing a chimp and she's signing to her when you think is her son because she's calling him treating him like a son and you come to find out it's a showbiz chimp that is just still wishing for the days to be back with Morgan Fairchild doing the good work.

I get it. I did some work with Morgan Fairchild and I've just never been as happy. Yeah, I guess that's true. Because even like it happens to humans all the time, you have a career high and then the rest of your life you're just thinking back on it. It's got to be worse for a chimp because the rest of a chimp's life, he can't even drive a car. You'd never see a chimp ride a horse. Does Morgan Fairchild, do they write? Does she still talk?

I'm just stuck on- It's an amazing, I can't believe this thing didn't go to Broadway because it was so good. What's it called? I don't remember, but we'd have to look it up. Laurie Metcalfe starred in it and it was just, it was spectacular. Wow. Well, she's very difficult to work with, what I understand, that's why I didn't go to Broadway.

I've never heard that. I heard the chimp, even though it was a boy, was very difficult. Very difficult to work with. Yeah, cause you know, they'll tell you, tear your face in general. I know that. Now I want to go back and just read the credits of Bananas

and see if there are any women even working on the show. Oh no, absolutely not. No. Not on this episode, no. And if there were, they were working on the show. Oh no, absolutely not. No. Not on this episode, no. And if there were, they were forced to give their credits to men. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

Vito Scottie played Leon Flores. This is a very sensitive portrayal of a Mexican man who literally registers surprise by saying Achiwawa in this episode. That does happen. I didn't know that went back that far. This is what it says on Wikipedia about this fella. He was known for his resourceful portrayals of various ethnic types. Resourceful. Of Italian heritage, he played everything from a Mexican

bandit to a Russian doctor to a Japanese sailor to an Indian travel agent. Good for him. Do you think that he made the choice to have the silver hair in the episode? Was it to keep it more accessible? When I first saw him, I thought, oh my goodness, Gepetto. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, Jamey, that looks like a wig plus silver. It's not a wig.

It's not a wig. It's a, I think. A spray. Yeah, a that looks like a wig plus silver. It's not a wig. It's not a wig. It's a, I think. A spray. Yeah, a spray or like a- A painted on? Yeah, like a shoe polish. Plus a comb over.

Yeah. I guess that's what it was. I mean, he was a pretty good head of hair, that fella. But why? Because couldn't this fella be any age? That's what I'm asking. Is it because, who goes to visit him again in the episode? Ben does, yeah.

Okay, so maybe if they're friends, they just gotta age him up? I guess. Oh, I guess they do. He's gotta have the wisdom of a lifetime of working in silver mines. I know, and then ore. Right, right.

Yeah, pain, yeah. Right, okay. Okay, Vito Scottie was in The Godfather, he's the baker who asked for a favor at the wedding of the- What, wait. Yeah. This guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's in The Godfather. He's the baker who asked for a favor at the wedding of the- What? Wait. Yeah.

This guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nazarene is the character's name. He's the baker- He's Enzo the Baker. That's the first- Enzo the Baker's father-in-law. What?

I think. Or maybe he's Enzo the Baker. Look and tell me for real. Oh, man. His character name is Nazarene. Oh, so he's just a guest at the wedding. He's a guest at the wedding, but he baked the cake. He's the baker. Look and tell me for real. Oh man, his character name is Nazarene. Oh, so he's just a guest at the wedding. He's a guest at the wedding, but he baked the cake.

He's the baker. And his problem concerns his daughter and her man. And then later at the hospital, a fella says, I'm Enzo the baker and he's guarding over the godfather who's in the hospital, but that's the son-in-law of Nazarene, who we heard about in the first scene is what I think is going on. I'm going to need one of those charts.

So is he in that famous first scene with Don Quirle? He is. He's the guy saying, be my friend. Yes. Holy shit. That's wild, right? Wow. But not only that. Now that's pretty good credit, but here's an even better credit.

He appeared in two episodes of Gilligan's Island as a Japanese sailor who did not know World War II was over. I remember those. Wow. This guy really informed my childhood more than Morgan Fairchild. No, couldn't be. No. All right. I'm not going to hit you with all my fun facts because we're running low on time, my god.

But I will tell you, I just want to get into this a little bit. The fellow who played Jock McPherson, he was obsessed with gliders into his 60s. He was a glider. So much so that he was inducted into, now I told you it's gliders, right? He was inducted into the Soaring Hall of Fame. Now, this gets into a whole thing where is it gliding or is it soaring? The practitioners of the sport of gliding prefer to call it soaring. They don't like gliding and you can sort of see why. Well, you know, and you think about it too, soaring has an elevated feeling to it. So, if it's an award, you want that feeling to be like, and you've done this thing and you wouldn't go, you wouldn't- Gliding is very passive, right? It sounds like.

Soaring. No, it seems like, wait, so are there planes called gliders or soars? Here's what I understand. It's an aircraft that doesn't have any kind of propulsion to it, but another aircraft will take it up into the air and then detach from it and say, good luck. And you have a decent probability of crashing into a mountain. It's called a glider. It's called a glider.

And soaring implies you make it happen. This thing's towed up and then let go. This is a glider and they are gliders. Well, the award though was, it's- It's the Soaring Hall of Fame. Soaring Hall of Fame. The people who glide consider themselves soars. After they glide, then they soar.

Well, I guess that's right. All right, fair enough. I started out gliding, but then I soared. Right, and then when they die, they ascend. Yeah, and then they go watch an orgy from above as a baby. That, I believe, is heaven for a soarer. Soar, that's not easy to say either. No, I'm a sorer. It ain't easy.

It ain't easy. R-E-R, never easy. No, roar, sorer. But I wouldn't mind getting into an argument with a glider about whether they're gliding or soaring. So that's something I'm going to try to somehow execute. I don't know how to do it. Can you imagine me sore at a sorer?

Oh my God. I got a sorer, a real sorer. I told him he's gliding. sore at a sore? Oh my God. I got a sore, a real sore. I told him he's glad. With a cold sore? Yeah, most of them do have herpes. That's true. That's true. That's true.

You can get herpes from the clouds. I have cloud herpes. A lot of people do. It affects eight in 10 people. I got my herpes from a cloud. Don't look at me like that. Yes, that kind of thing. Let's talk about this episode.

Don't get me wrong, it was sexual, but it's cloud herpes. That's right. Cherubs. That's right. This episode is sponsored by the OCS Summer Pre-Roll Sale. Sometimes when you roll your own joint, things can turn out a little differently than what you expected.

Maybe it's a little too loose. Maybe it's a little too flimsy. Or maybe it's a little too covered in dirt because your best friend distracted you and you dropped it on the ground. There's a million ways to roll a joint wrong, but there's one roll that's always perfect, the pre-roll. Shop the Summer Pre-Roll and infuse pre-roll sale today

at ocs.ca and participating retailers. This episode begins with all three cartwrights riding up on a bunch of ne'er-do-wills who have slaughtered a cow. These guys are, they're cattle rustling and that's serious. And it's a ponderosa cow. And there's, there're miners who are out of work cause there ain't no silver, no more being found in the Comstock load by God. But then he goes from being mad

at them to completely understanding their plight. And further to more than that, he says, I'm going to provide 10 cows a day or something like that. I think they're out of work for two days total or what is the, I wasn't sure of the time. Yeah, time is very difficult to understand. It worked differently. I believe in a previous episode, it was established that it takes about two days to get from the Ponderosa to Virginia City. Now, if you keep that in mind, most of these episodes don't function at all. That's the case with this one for sure. Is that why they set that map on fire?

Is that the same thing? That's why they do it. They say, forget about this. Don't even worry about this. It ain't going to work. That is why maybe. But little Joe right here in the cold open, he says something very wise. He says, a hungry man can cause a lot of trouble. I like that perspective on hunger. It's just making

trouble for us if you're hungry. So they decide they're going to give, and they go into Virginia City and it's like a, not quite a ghost town. It's a man town. It's a listless man town. It's a man town. It's a listless man town. There's just... It is tricky because senior Cartwright will benefit from this thing not working out. What do you mean? Well, he has stock in the other mine. Oh, yes. He has stock. It's a conflict of interest. Mm-hmm. Conflict of interest. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah. And then his son wants to buy stock in the- Little Joe. Yeah, Little Joe. He keeps saying, fraud or no, we should buy stock. I've never read my head. He's like, let's just ride that. Well, this here-

It's all Bitcoin. Yeah, exactly. Basically, there's a mine called the Thunderhead, and it's been determined definitively by multiple experts over the years to have no silver in it. There ain't no silver in the Thunderhead mine. Anybody who knows anything about mining or silver will tell you that. However, there's a couple of guys named Furnace and Cunningham who have determined that contrary to all knowledge heretofore, there is silver in the Thunderhead mine. But think about it. Now you've got a bunch of locals and

shouldn't they have all heard there's no silver in that mine? And then some outsiders come in and are like, actually there is silver in that mine. Well, that's how desperate they are. These men have been out of work for two days. Well, going back to your hunger idea, emotional hunger too. Maybe that's it. That ambition is a kind of hunger. They've come. Oh, that's it. That ambition is a kind of hunger.

That's right. Oh, that's beautiful. They've come all the way out here to the Nevada territory to succeed at something. For emirates. They can't even do this. But even the idea that don't break their hearts now, let them have a dream. Just let them have a dream thing. Well, so first, yeah.

To postpone their awful feeling. You're going to be hungry and then you'll be even hungrier. But for one day, you think you're not going to be hungry. That's the conflict of this episode because Furnace and Cunningham say, there is silver in there. What we need is your money to go down there and get it. Everybody chip in a whole bunch of money. Even the people who say, yeah,

I don't think there is silver down there, but it's okay. Let people get their hopes up and chip in all their money and go down there and try to find some silver. And then there won't be any, and that'll be a bad day. But between now and then, everybody will be happy. The thing about swindlers, this is what always confounds me too. If there's like a group of swindlers, how do you know you're not going to get swindled by the swindler? Like there's no, there's no good, it should be a single swindler. Oh right. You mean like cross swindling? Cross swindling. I wouldn't have, if you don't, if you, if you're not going to deceive a bunch of people, why wouldn't your, the guy to your left,

your right also be into the deceiving of you? Like it's such a tense business. They're right. That would just be such a- Yeah. Well they have all their own swindles. And they're all, they're all well dressed and They don't look tense. I'm just like, that's the directions off. They are very well-dressed. They all have little Colonel Sanders ties too. Very nice. What do you call them? String ties?

Oh, the ribbon ties. Yeah, yeah. Very fancy. Yeah, you're right about that. Almost every time a confederacy of swindlers comes together, one of them will backstab another one of them. That's about right. Although it doesn't really happen this time. These guys are loyal to one another, I believe. But that's what I'm saying. How is that even a thing?

Honor among thieves. Honor among thieves, really? Is that a real concept? Could it actually be real? I don't think so. No. Well, the only way it would work is if this is just the first of your many scams and you're looking forward to running together.

Oh, this is the first swindle? Yeah, you got to make a commitment. We did it. Let's go on from here, I guess. Well, okay. So this is the conflict of the episode that Ben Cartwright knows. He says, there ain't no silver in the Thunderhead mine. No, there might be silver in the Gould and Curry mine mine where I have made, I have bought stock in that one.

That one's maybe, but this one, forget it, right? Okay, that's what's going on. Now it turns out, do we have to get into Bronson? Maybe not. No. Let's forget all about Bronson. The man who has previously owned the Thunderhead mine and is now selling it to Furnace and Cunningham.

Ben goes and talks to him and he says, is there silver in there. He's sort of in on the scam, Bronson is. And then he's talked into honesty. That's right. Ben Cartwright says, you need to tell Furnace and Cunningham, deals off, stop swindling everybody. And he does. Oh, we do have to talk about him. Yeah, that's right. But the thing is too, he says, I've always been honest before this. This is my first time being not honest. I'm not going to lie to you. This is my first lie. I've had friends like that that I said goodbye to. Oh, wait, you caught me in a second. Well, now I'm really going to be honest. That's the only other lie. Good work, you got me, keeping me honest.

Imagine the bad luck of being caught in your first lie you've ever told. Wow. Man. I know. And the generosity of you. That's okay. That's okay.

Just do the right thing now. He was saving it too. Like, oh, I'm really gonna wait to lie. This is gonna be fun. It's gonna make me 10 grand. Yeah. So now, okay, he tells, he has the bad job of telling the bad guys, I'm not going along with your scam anymore. I'm sorry. I will not sell you the Thunderhead mine

or whatever it is he tells them. And they say, well, we have no choice but to kill that man. Also, what does he think? He's going to just like say it and they're going to be reasonable, like, okay, we've come all this way. It sounds good. Yeah, that's okay. You can be out. Yeah. It's your mine and you're going to say we're lying, but yeah, that sounds... Yeah, and then I'm going to leave the office all by myself in the dark of night tonight, head on home to the rest of my honest life. That's what he thought, I guess. It didn't work out that way because I don't believe we've seen... No, we have seen a man stabbed in the back to death on this show. It's very unusual. I love when you say to death, stabbed in the back to death on this show is very unusual. I love when you say to death stabbed in the back to death hung to death

Yeah, it's I feel to death That really makes me laugh stabbed to death he died by that stab wound But they did they made it look like a robbery didn't they and it was enough to fool Sheriff Roy He thought for sure this just been a robbery and he goes out to the Ponderosa Ranch travels two days Ponderosa Ranch to tell Ben Cartwright, hey, just coincidentally, the fella that… That you warned me about. Yeah, he was robbed. Same day you warned me, he was robbed and…

And murdered in the process. But I don't see anything fishy about it. I just came out here and tell you, so long, two days back home. But Ben says, no, God damn it. Don't you see it's all part of the swindle. He was not going to participate in the swindle and then he's been murdered. And sheriff says, Oh, stop, stop being such a killjoy. We're all going to believe you. I just ain't going to do nothing. Oh yeah. There's that part of it too. Well, he needs evidence. You know, yeah. Sheriff Roy is like, look, you're telling me there's a crime

that's been committed. There's no evidence of it, so I can't arrest anybody. And furthermore, I'm not inclined to go looking for evidence. He says, I believe you, but I'm an upstanding sheriff. I need evidence. Why don't you go break some laws and look into it, vigilante Ben? Right. That's not right. Wouldn't it have been smarter for those guys that were doing the swindle to just

put those, uh, whatever that stabilizes the mountain further in. So it looked like all from the silver back was theirs. Wouldn't that be a better swindle? They didn't think anybody- A lumber swindle. A lumber swindle would have been better. Oh boy, don't get me started on lumber swindles. And then, then, cause honestly, who else has those maps?

The, the, the, the, um, the survey maps? The the the the the the surveyist. Yeah. And the the man that knows the mines. Does anybody else have those maps? Just those two maps. That seems hella risky to have no other copies of those. Survey maps are always catching on fire. Tried to get a surveyist out to a property. I in fact have. It's not fun.

It you can't do it in an hour. No, you can't. You cannot do it in an hour. Two days ride if they're coming from Virginia City too. Right. But plus word has to get to them two days. Then they have to come in two days. They have to find the map.

Then they have to... They're mapping the map in the dark too. Yeah, I know. They go into the cave. In the cave. With no lantern. That's true. They're just like relying on the lanterns.

They're savant. Theyelying on the lanterns. They're relying on the right. They didn't. They went in there barehanded, barehanded. Yeah. Just feeling the way along. Well, we're getting ahead a little bit because first, what Ben does is he goes and he talks to Leon, who knows the the thunderhead like the back of his hand. He says, I chew wawa. He improvises some dialogue, it sounds like, about where his

wife and children are. Totally unnecessary to discuss, and it sure didn't seem scripted. I don't know what happened there. Maybe so you'd feel something for him when he died? Okay. Didn't work. He's an unfeeling stone. What they decide to do, Ben and Leon, is to sneak into the Thunderhead Mine and to see what's going on and bring with them a map of the mines. What they discover is that the Thunderhead Mine, and for sure has no silver, however, the Gould and Currie Mine, which is right next to it, does have silver. You can see it's separated by a wood beam that Leon spots right away.

A cross beam. He says, oh, this is new wood. Well, now we're in spots right away. He says, oh, this is new wood. Well, then the old now we're in the golden curry, I think, but I'm not sure. It's going to take me six hours to compare maps. And I can tell you for sure what's going on here. He says he knows exactly it's going to take me six hours from inside the cave. Who put the door jam up? The bad guys.

Well, why would they put it? They put it on the side with the silvers on their side? They're illegally putting it on the Golden Curry side, is that right? I don't remember that. Now I got to watch it again. It's a dividing line between the Thunderhead and the Golden Curry. But it's a false one? No, it's a real one and they just put it there to help Leon figure out their crime.

It's a plot thing. Okay, I see. to help Leon figure out their crime. It's a plot thing. Okay, I see. But I think it actually has the silver on one side of it and the non-silver on the other. Right. I'm not prepared to allow this to be a flaw in the show. I have to go back and watch that one scene.

It's not a flaw in the show. You shouldn't do that, you don't have to. I wouldn't wish that on you. No, it's great. Yeah, I watch these episodes at least 10 times, each one of them. Is this where Robert Altman got his chops though? Yeah.

This is where he- Not this particular episode. No, I know, because he didn't direct this one. Right, he did about eight of them. Yeah, this is where he learned everything. Well, okay, so now, the bad guys see Leon and Ben escape from the mine. They catch them.

Well, they don't catch them, but they see them and they figure out who they are. They say, I know who that is. That's little Leon. But isn't it lucky that they don't know all the holes to the way to get into this thing? They're guarding just the one main entrance. Yeah, that's right. The bad guys are guarding. There's no other way in here even though it's connected to a totally other mountain mine.

This is the one way in. We have to go through the non-Thunderhead part to get to our good gold part. Right. Yes, they do. That doesn't make any sense. What do you mean it doesn't make any perfect sense? It does. It makes more sense than this episode.

But now they know Leon is a what? He's a impediment to their success. Well you know they've got to go to his house and kill him. And it's a impediment to their success. Well, you know, they've got to go to his house and kill him. And it's a well shot killing. It gives a close up on the gun. And you see the realization in Leon's eyes, I'm going to die. Why didn't he say, I, Chi, Wa, Wa, here? That's a good question. Could have been a nice call back.

I guess he didn't want that to be his last words. Or let me help you guys. I have the map. We can rejigger the map. Yeah. Negotiate. Yeah, right. He's too honest. That's his problem.

Honesty. Honesty has killed everyone in this episode so far. Damn it. Well, okay. Now what's going to happen? Oh, Cunningham is going to handle Ben. I don't know. Leon shows Ben maps.

We're past all that. It's not a great role model for honesty. This episode? Honesty does seem to get people in more trouble than lying. Yeah. So I can see how lying is more compelling. In general in life, I think that's true. It's wrong, but yeah.

Okay, what is this about Jock? I don't know. Look, here, let's cut to the chase. We come down to why did Ben sneak back into the mine? I don't remember. To show the sheriff, right? Yeah, he needs evidence. And so now what's he going to do? Grab another piece of the silver plus the map? Wouldn't the map itself be the- Is it Ben and the sheriff go into the mine together? I think he brings the sheriff down there. Okay.

No, he brings the surveyist, I thought. Oh, he does bring... I thought it was the survey guy. You're right. The guy in the yellow jacket. He can provide... So why does he just take the survey guy to the sheriff? Because the survey guy has to first be absolutely certain.

Yeah, that's right. Okay. So Ben goes down with the surveyor, and now they've got a map, and they're gonna confirm that a crime has been committed, and they say to little Joe and Hoss, you guys come along and you're gonna stand look at it. Don't do anything but stand look out, and oh no, they're supposed to cause a distraction

in case the bad guys come looking for them. Did they at all say where Adam was this episode? Nope, nope. It seemed like he was gonna come, because they said they referenced him at some point. come looking for him. Did they at all say where Adam was this episode? Nope. Nope. It seemed like he was going to come because they said they referenced him at some point. There's another Cartwright Boys, you know, he's just not in this. He just didn't feel like coming to work.

It's just likely true. Yeah. Now what happens? Is there a backstory about that? He just wasn't happy on the show. He thought it was beneath him. Oh, what was he wanting to do instead? Cripper John M.D., which he went on to do later, I guess.

I don't know. Yeah, he wanted to do other crappy television. I mean crappy television, which this is not. Anyway, okay, wait. So now, for no reason whatsoever, Hoss and Little Joe attack the men who are guarding the entrance of the mine. I think because they move towards something and they're like, oh boy, that's.

I guess so, but they attack them and then a shot is fired. And that's really what causes all the problems. Because now a shot's been fired outside the mine, it's been heard inside the mine. That alerts the bad guys that something's up and they find Ben and the surveyor. Now we have a shootout. So many lives are lost in the mind. Many people die. And there's a stick of dynamite that's involved too that takes out some people. And then what happens? Oh, what happens?

I guess, well, obviously Ben and the surveyor survive. They come out. Oh, I like to, by the way. This is, okay. When they discovered that Leon has been killed, the sheriff's reaction is, oh, that's too bad, he's a good man. Right, he doesn't care much.

And then in this one here, there's no mention. All these people that die. I know. I thought about their wives and families Nothing, and they're gonna go hungry now very little and again No, that wasn't self-defense or do you have to like set up a search situation and then it's self-defense and then all killing is fine Luckily it's not a state in Nevada yet. So none of this matters law wise. Okay, isn't it? It's not it's not a state in Nevada yet, so none of this matters law-wise. Isn't it? It's still a territory, I believe.

I know they have law there, but it seems real fast and loose. Yeah, exactly. But it's a happy ending because the silver turns out to be in the golden curry mine, which Ben has a stake in. He's made a ton of money overnight. And what's he going to do with it? I'll buy you a beer with my share or a meal. Is that what he says?

Yeah, yeah, with my profits. Just side question. When people with hats are excited, why do they toss them into the air? Oh, well, what else are you going to do with it? Why can't you do Yippee with another way? I don't know. It sounds like you've never been truly excited because I believe it's an involuntary reaction that if you're wearing a hat and you're excited, you just do it.

You just throw it off. Yeah. Watch. Say Morgan Fairchild. Morgan Fairchild. Woohoo! Okay. I'm, I'm, thank you for educating me.

You're welcome. I'd love to be there the day that you are so excited about something. You throw that hat in the air, it's going to happen to you. Just keep wearing the hat. Thank you so much. Yeah. Odd job from Goldfinger was never a villain. He was just always excited and throwing his hat.

And it unfortunately had a razor blade in the drum. Well, it's a boom, mine in town again, now that silver has been found in the one mine, but not the other. And bad guys, they're all dead, aren't they? Cunningham and Furness and all the fellows who weren't necessarily bad, but was just kind of working for them. They're all dead. Yeah, they've conquered greed and swindling. Yes. But ultimately, doesn't greed and swindling come from also like a deep hunger, deep need? Maybe they also want to give their ladies special frocks and things of that nature.

Oh, uh-huh. Do you think that's what the miners want to do? I feel like either they are just... I mean, what are they going to do with all that money anyway? Let's say their plan had worked. They swindle the town. Then what happens? Oh, people like that don't stop. It's on to the next. They just keep swindling people until one of them double crosses the other one.

That's right. Right. They both end up shooting each other. That's a tense life. It is a tense life. You'd almost rather make an honest living, except then you will be stabbed in the back to death. There's the lesson. You're better off swindling.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sad to say with that, there's only 368 episodes left of this show for us to discuss on this podcast. Is that tragic or what? I think the next one is really good. Oh yeah? Oh, I think Robert Altman directed it too. He did. You would have liked to be, well, I think Robert Altman directed it too. Yes, he did.

He did? You would have liked to be... Well, you can come back. Come on back. Yeah, I will come back. Yeah, that'd be great. We'd love to have you back. Oh my God.

I have other hats. Oh, yeah, Bram. Fantastic. All right. Well, maybe next time we're here, it could be that at the end of this Moon is going to say, no, seriously, I'll never be back. But we'd love to have Moon back any damn time. And Patton is supposed to come here

because it's a Robert Altman episode. He's agreed to do every one of them, but we haven't gotten into scheduling yet, but that's that. Your book comes out August the 20th. It's called Earth to Moon. It's all about your life. Give us another tidbit. There's a lot of nudity in your house growing up, right?

Yeah. I mean, in some ways it's like a Western. There is a showdown. Yep. Yeah. There's a showdown and then there's an internal showdown too. Oh my God. I can't wait to read it myself. Hey, are you going to read the audiobook of it? I did. You already did that? Was it fun? It was really fun. Really? Yeah.

I've heard that it's difficult. Did you not do an audiobook of your book? I did. You already did that? Was it fun? It was really fun. Really? Yeah. I've heard that it's difficult. Did you not do an audio book of your book? I did, but I don't know who to send it to. They didn't tell me where to send it. Maybe some readers. What?

Just direct mail to listeners. Okay, I'll do that. Yeah, sure. Maybe I'll put that. I want to read your book or listen to it. Yeah, it's called You Must Buy Your Wife At Least As Much Jewelry As You Buy Your Horse In Other Poems And Observations, Humous and otherwise from a life on the range. It's mostly recipes for beans, but there's also poems in there.

It is, yeah. To find its way to the general public. You can get it at B. Dalton. Okay. Hey. All right. Well, I'd love to have some of your jerky and I'll trade you for some of my tea. Fantastic tea for jerky. We're winning. Yeah. Wait. No, we're losing. Wait. No, we're winning. Jerky tea. I smell a collaboration. Yeah. Hot shit. Put jerky in some hot water. Earth to moon and Dalton and mud jerky tea.

Coming soon to Earth to moon. Anza. Oh, Earth to moon. That was a reboot of boo. Nanza. Boo Nanza. Bo Nanza. I mean, it took place on the moon. All right. Well, you got to get yourself to Beverly Hills, right? Yeah. So we're going to say goodbye. All right, folks, that's an episode of bananas for bananas. Thank you Moon for being here. And now get. Chachachachapoo. Pfft. One.

One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One.

One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One.

One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. One. with The Journey, which in this case are Mark McConville, Daniel Michikoff and Wayne Wright. Bananas for Bonanzas, mixed and edited by Mark McConville.

Executive produced by Andy Daly and Matt Gordon. We'll see you around. This episode is sponsored by the OCS Summer Pre-Roll Sale. Sometimes when you roll your own joint, things can turn out a little differently than what you expected. Maybe it's a little too loose, maybe it's a little too flimsy, or maybe it's a little too covered in dirt because your best friend distracted you and you dropped it on the ground. There's a million ways to roll a joint wrong, but there's one roll that's always perfect. The pre-roll.

Shop the Summer Pre-Roll and Infuse Pre-Roll Sale today at ocs.ca and participating retailers.