Bonanas for Bonanza - The Andy Daly Podcast Project Presents Extravaganza Octopod 1 Episode 1 Extravaganza With My Own Eyes The Dedication Ceremony For The Hoover Dam

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Guests: Ben Alterman and Dutch SwansonOn September 30, 1935 President Franklin D. Roosevelt presided over the dedication of the newly completed Hoover Dam. Nicorette Gumchunk speaks to the last living witnesses of this era-defining historical event.Featuring Lisa Gilroy and Matt GourleySubscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDalyMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Andy’s website: andydaly.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is Andy Daley. For the past few years, I, along with my good friend Matt Gourley, and an ever-changing cast of hilarious guests, have been making a Patreon-exclusive podcast series called Bonus Nanza Extravaganza, or Extravaganza for short. It's a kind of a comedy podcast, grab bag, you never know what you're going to get, kind of a thing, and as of now, we've made 75 episodes. They are the absolute funnest things in the world to make. I'm quite proud of them, and the Patreon subscribers have been enjoying them so much that I thought, well, hell, Maybe it's time to release some of them to the whole world in front of the fabled paywall. So, starting today, I'll be releasing a season, or as I'm calling it, an octopod, of eight episodes of extravaganza,

one a week, every Saturday, for eight weeks. And then maybe there will be another extravaganza octopat at some point after that. These eight episodes were selected by the Patreon subscribers for your enjoyment. And if you do find yourself enjoying them, we certainly hope you'll consider subscribing at Patreon. com slash Andy Daily. With that, I give you the Andy Daily podcast project presents extravaganza octapod one, episode one. Extravaganza, With My Own Eyes, the dedication ceremony for the Hoover Dam, featuring Lisa Gilroy.

Enjoy. Welcome to With My Own Eyes, a podcast brought to you by the American Historical Society in partnership with the Smithsonian Institution and Jersey Mike Subs. I'm your host, Nicorette Gumchunk. Each week, we talk to people. people who saw events in American history with their own eyes. Sometimes we speak to the last living witness to an event, and we believe that is the case this week as we speak to two men who are present

for the dedication ceremony for the Hoover Dam, which was held on September 30th, 1935, and was presided over by President Franklin D. Roosevelt. Please welcome my guests, Ben Alterman and Dutch Swanson. Hello, gentlemen. Hello, sweetheart. What did you say? It was gum chunk?

A Nicorette gum chunk. What kind of a name is a... I like to know what kind of a person I'm talking to. Where's your family from, darling? Well, my family is part Russian and also American as well as Canadian, with a little twist of Fiji and the Cuban Islands as well as the Dominican Republic and a bit of Parisian. Good Lord.

You sound like you did one of the, what did you do the 20th? What do they call it? When you send a spit into a company and they tell you what you are. 21 flavors. 21 flavors. 21 flavors. 21 flavors. 23 and me, I believe.

Sweetheart, there's a question on the table. You ever go to 21 flavors in Pasadena? Sir, you're hurting my arm. You are hurting my arm. No, I'm not. I'm grabbing you for emphasis. I couldn't physically hurt you, but let me try. Okay, no, let's not try. Hey, guys, game. This was a judo champion back in the day.

Okay. Back in the day, me, how about this for the rest of the podcast? We're going to put fingers and hands in pockets, our own pockets, okay? Oh, nice one. Yeah, always. Okay. If she hadn't said the own pockets thing, it would have been a free-for-all. I'd add one of mine in yours and one of mine and hers.

I'm technically because of surgeries and sagging a marsupial, so I could put it in a bit of a flesh pocket. Is that what they told you? And you do have one there, I see that. Is your belly button okay there, sir? It looks like it's steaming. Oh, the one in the front. I believe the one in the back is called an anus.

You learn some 102 years on this earth. You learn something to do. Are you a 102 now? Oh, yeah. He's a baby. He's a baby. And how old are you been if you don't mind me asking? He's a baby.

Okay, sir, you're hurting your arm. Hands and pockets. That can't be hurting your arm. It's for emphasis. Do you mind if I gum your ankle? You know what, guys, gang, let's keep everything to ourselves. Okay. Heads and teeth and mouths, fingers and hands, toes, feet, all of that kind of stuff to your own self, to your own chair and your own cargo pants.

That's fine, but I might. These are Patagonia. Daughter-in-law. Good. These are Greatland. Huh? Greatland. What's that now?

Target. That's who made your pants? Or Costco. I could never remember. What's the one where there's a bullseye and they want you to shoot? Oh, Target. That's what it is. They tell you.

It's Target and here's a bullseye. Target. They put the bullseye on the side of the building because it's called Target. Please stop twisting the skin on my forearm. Can you give me something else to twist? I'm going to hand you here a handkerchief. It's not like. I like something, something more like...

Here, I have a flesh-colored one. Can I have a log of your hair? Listen, gentlemen, let's get to talking about the Hoover Dam, shall we? The Hoover Dam. The Hoover Dam. And now, so I've done many of these podcast episodes, obviously, I've been... I've spoken to people who erected the Tour DeFel, which is Eiffel-in-Francée. Oh.

You know, I've spoken to some people who claim to have been there during the erection of the pyramids as well. It's all erections with you. I know, God. Yes. So now... Wait a minute. People who claim to be there for the, when they put up in Egypt, when they put up there or the pyramids?

Well, you know, there's a whole sect of people who do believe, you know, they came about in the early 80s as a tourist kind of landmark and all of the information quote unquote, I'm doing air quotes right now that we know about it is fictitious and just kind of a money maker. Ancient aliens. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

It could be aliens or it could be like, you know, a bunch of guys in tie-dye shirts in the 80s, you know, putting this thing. The same guys who made the Disney, you know, when you go to Disney, you see a mountain and it looks like a real mountain, but it's not. Those guys kind of, they can make pyramids. They can make Mount Ruff.

They can make all sorts of stuff. I'll be damned. Disney, by the way, was a, he used to play polo at my polo club. Walt Disney did. Okay. Walt Disney, do you understand me? I hear you. This is the fellow from Snow White.

He did Snow White in the Seven Dwarves and used to play polo at our polo club. And he once smashed a man to death with a polo club. I swear to God, I watched it with my own eye. Walt Disney. You have to be a little deviant to have an imagination like that. Well, I mean, if it's certainly, if you're the most, man who created Minky Mouse. You must have a lot of wild tendencies, right? Yeah. That's exactly right. No, before that, prior to that, nobody ever would have imagined that a mouse would wear a pair of

pants and talk to you. No one ever thought of it. Little trousers. He's the first one who said, can you bad, what if your imagination took you to this place where a mouse could put on a pair of pants? And people went nuts for it. Notts for it. I understand that he was going to be convicted for beating someone with a polo mallet, but then he came up with the particular little mouse with the pants and people are like, well, that's a zero sum. That's a tradeoff. We're fine. Let them go. Let them go. The district attorney said we'll never get a conviction because people love the pants. Right. On the mouse. Are you touching me? No, I'm not that then. Oh, I'm touching you. She says I can't touch her. I don't mind if you touch me.

Mine then. Thank you, Dutch. As long as everyone agrees. So gentlemen, what was your involvement in in the dedication of or the building of the Hoover Dam? Well, speaking of touching, they used to call me Dutch the Touch because I was the guy turned on the faucet, let the water in. Oh, a bit of a wet bandit. Oh, what? Have you seen the, there is a historical documentary called Home Alone. It's about a little boy and it's about the absolute crime rate in his neighborhood.

When was it made? It was made in the 80s, I believe, by the same men who made it. Yeah, okay. They wouldn't let you into movies. Nowadays, they have what they call a senior. discount or something like that. In those days, it was the seniors couldn't get in at any price. That's right. Now they've got a little glass booth where milking mothers and old people go in there. And I'll tell you what, I like it a little better.

It's not bad. You go in there with all the milking mothers. Oh, well, I don't think you should be. Are you touching me? I'm not. Again, that's Ben. Okay. Anytime you have that question, Dutch, just look on over at Ben and see what his little fingers are up to. And I'm sure you'll be, it'll confirm what you want to understand. I understand. I like having somebody refer to my fingers as little? I know they're small, but I don't like being reminded of it like that.

That's not fair. Well, I'm sure. I mean, they're not certainly naturally small. It looks like as if they've all been severed in a moment where that was in the construction of the Hoover Dam. That's exactly right. I says to a guy, I says this guy was a Polack. I says to him, hey, see if you can put that giant rock down on my fingers if I can

stand it, I said to him. Because we were talking about strength, personal strength. Of course, yeah. And by the way, Polack was a term of endearment back then. In those days? Oh, yes. What do you call a Polack now? Late for dinner.

It still works. He was a Polack. I says to him, you think you're strong. Put that giant slab of concrete down on my fingers. And I'll show you what strong is. Next thing I know I wake up in a hospital. They had no choice but to just yank me as hard as they could out on the wall. I was stuck there and they had no choice.

and my fingers to this day is without. I see they're less than an inch tall, each of them, both hands as well. Yep. Which is shocking. Did you do the other one after the first that already been switched? No, I did them both at the same time. But what my point is, the rest of my fingers, the part you don't see is a part of the Hoover day. That little nubs sticking out of the concrete and it's the Ben Alterman Memorial coat rack.

You come and you hang your coat on his little knuckles. And they put that Polack in jail for nine years for doing that to me. Even though I said to him, I told him to do them. I told them to do it. They said, it doesn't matter. Really? Yeah. And yet Walt Disney's walking away, Scott Freaking.

Right. Well, this fellow never invented a mouse. Don't I know it, huh? The Hoover Dam. I was a part of a building and you were part of you. Did you work on the building of it? Or were you just there to turn the goddamn force? I did the plumbing.

You did all the whole plumber? Well, I did a little bit of it. I did everybody worked on it. Yes, all right. And so at what point in the construction? of it, did it turn from how it was in originally a water park into the electricity generating thing that we know it is now? Where did it take that turn? Because, you know, not to circle back to Disney, but as we know, his involvement in this was heavy. It started as the, I believe it was called Mickey Mouse

But Wet Water Park. And as soon as it, you know, took that turn, when did the design change? It was mainly due to a clerical error where we ordered too much concrete and thought, well, we can't give it back. What do we do with it? Let's damn it up. Damn it. And then the idea that it could be hydroelectric power, that didn't come along until the whole thing was built. It was just, it had no purpose. Do you understand? Originally it had no purpose.

Right. It was just, as you say, going to be a water theme park. And they had the plans all drawn up for it and everything. But it didn't call for anywhere near that much concrete. So now they got out of the concrete. They said, let's put it all up. And then that's it. But then somebody says, hey, you just think.

called hydroelectric. And who was that somebody, Ben? Do you remember? Who was it that said hydroelectrical? You know what was that Polack? Oh, he was very... Huh? The one who went to prison?

He invented hydroelectrical power. We have a lot to thank him for, don't we? You'd think they would have given him a pass. I don't know. Whatever. He died in jail. Here's my point, though. It had no purpose and then it acquired a purpose.

But you understand this was during the WPA And they just put people to work So they just went out there And they said, go build a tall structure Who cares what it is? We took it upon ourselves to make it a damn. Right. And did either of you have a chance

To ride any of those wacky, wild wet slides before they got all pulverized into the concrete Or anything fun slippery stories from that time? Well, these days, if you want to put in a water slide someplace, They bring in an engineer and they bring in a blah, blah, blah, and they got a ha. But in those days, it was... Can I add that they also sometimes? You're not kidding.

One time, I was at a pool, a municipal pool, and they were putting in a slide, and they had a ha, ha, ha, ha. But in those days, you had none of it. And it was just, let's see if it works. And they would sign, if they could, they'd send a sandbag down to see. see is does it get mangled? Does it fly off into the air? Right. But then the next thing is a human. And sometimes I was the test case and sometimes that Pohlock, I bet.

Well, no, the Polack, I'm telling you, he was smart. He says, I'm not going down there until I see Ultraman. Yeah. And terrible things happened. I lost a leg. I later found it, but I did lose it. I was going to say I see two before me right now, too, very, very strong, strong legs, strong thighs, very weak little ankles and tiny toes as well.

Did you lose any of your toes in there? No, no. But I was a speed skater for a while. That's why I have big thighs. That'll last you. Little dainty ankles, because you got to pivot. And a judo champion. Show us some judo, Dutch.

Okay. Well, you can see how that might once have been judo. Right. Definitely. Yeah, it's the remnants of judo. I was the first American judo champion in America. Isn't that something? Incredible.

They must have been furious wherever judo comes from. They must just say, this ain't fair. I think Israel. Israel, they did. I wanted to ask you guys something about because I actually, my grandfather worked on the Hoover Down. You're kidding me. No shit, what's his name?

Since past, but Peanut Arnold. Oh, come on. Wait a minute. Peanut Arnold's granddaughter. You look like him. Oh, thank you. I mean, he looked like you. Right.

That's where we used to make fun of him for. That's why we called him peanut. Oh. Oh, I thought he had a hat made out of peanut shells. Wasn't that part of it? Well, that's part of it is he looked like a peanut. So we got him a hat for. for joke day back then that was what April Fool's Day was called and it and it was not in April

no it wasn't nope nobody knew when it was it was joke day and it would arrive unannounced it was you know how Easter cheers only once a year yeah but yes they made in my hat made out of peanut chest you know that is astounding i didn't realize that you lot had to do with that because i don't know if you know the injuries he sustained during the construction of the dam he had severed cracked his skull due to a piece of falling concrete. And at the time he was wearing the little peanut shell hat that I was unaware you made from him. But the peanuts forged their way into his brain.

And he did become, you know, kind of spooky after that. Isn't that interesting? The lagoon became a vegetable. How about that? Is that right? A vegetable? Well, no, he was still walking and functioning, but he pooped. He did poop a kind of a cream peanut butter.

Peanut butter. And he had difficulty speaking as well. So the first part is a little bit funny and the second part's not. That is funny. I like that. Yeah. He, well, he was an interesting character, wasn't it? Sure he was.

He always had his hand up somebody's skirt and. Who's touching me? I never. It's me. I'm touching you. Okay. Okay. And what else?

He, oh boy, I hope it wasn't. Did he have more than one marriage? You know, that is something I am, you know, that's coming to light now later in the family. tree, but yes. You're aware of that? At that time, I think he did have upwards of 27 or 26. I'm glad you know.

Six wives. Yes, he was once known as a polygamist. Right? Is that what they call it? He had every, he kept saying, hey, this is my wife. And it was always a different braud.

And I said, hey, peanut. Remember that time he did a family photo on the top of the Hoover Dam and he's in the middle and then the wives just fan out from there. It was really something. We all gathered and we still made fun of him that was wearing a peanut hat. everything. What a shit.

27 wives, is that what you say? And you know, part of that was due to the brain damage he sustained from the peanut helmet and the falling concrete because he honestly didn't remember he had otherwise. And as you know, he was a very, I mean, he was a hot man. And so when he'd go out, he'd meet a new wife and he'd forget that he had others. He wasn't necessarily trying to be, you know,

Big Dick Slinger. He just had memory. He was there. I remember Big Dick Slinger. Yeah. Yeah, Big Dick Slinger was a pipe layer. Yeah, that's right. He was laying all that pipe down there. And I was just in charge of telling people where to put the concrete blocks. They said, put one over there. Put one on my hands. Right. Right. Exactly. We had a little moment.

You and me. We did. Okay, but again, hands in your pockets. Okay. And with the cargo shorts, you got a lot of options. Sure, hard to tell the real pockets from the fake ones. Peanut Arnold must have had a thousand grandchildren. So it's not so strange that we would run into one. Right. We've probably been running into them our whole life. And all, I mean, the last name is going to be, you know, gum chum. for all of... That's why gum chunk

is one of the most popular last names. Wait a minute. Well, how did it come to be gum chunk from Arnold? Well, he was Peanut Arnold gum chunk. But he did go by Peanut Arnold Arnold officially, but in all his passports and birth certificates. And anytime he did a doodle on paper,

he would sign it. How many passports did he have? How many passports? You said all of his passports. How many did he have? That's right. I think he had upwards of 26, 27, one for each wife, I believe.

Wow. The wives were from different countries. That's why you say you're from so many different places. That's exactly right. All I heard was Russia. Right. What about Russia? Yeah.

I did some spying for the Russian. Okay. I'm going to pivot now to the dedication of the Hoover Dam. Are you touching me? Okay. Now, again, that's not me. Okay. Wait a minute.

Am I touching you? Yes. You have been this entire time. Yes. Is this your leg? Did they reattach your leg? What am I grabbing on to? You know what?

This is my bad. I didn't mean to host. this in a hot tub and I should have done it in a place where we could have seen what all the limbs and stuff were doing. No, no, no. My nurse insisted that we do this in a hot tub. I have to stay above 90 degrees or I'll go wild cat crazy. For me, it's the moisture.

I have to dry out and then I'll turn to dust. I'll be dust within 90 minutes if I'm out of the water. You do have that condition, right? Is it called premature cremation? What's happening? Colloquially, they call it then. It's got a scientific name. I don't know what, but yeah.

I did see moments ago the breeze picked up and all your hair went. We used to call them the human dandruff. Yeah. You just clicking away over there. Do you want to do a quick dunk under the surface and come back up? Thank you, yes.

Hey, hey, hey. Talk to yourself. I thought that was an explicit invitation to do that. Dutch, are you okay? Yeah, but it's hard to tell what's one of your fingers and what's a straw. Let me see. Oh, sweetheart. We're putting you through it.

What were he going to ask us? Oh, I was asking about the dedication. So there was a day in 1935 when President Roosevelt came to dedicate the Hoover Dam after it had, you know, the construction was completed. Right. I just wanted to know if you gentlemen were present on that day and what it was like. Oh, this is a wonderful day. I was pissed. It wasn't Theo. It was Franklin the Gimp.

Right, that's right. It was a hot day. It was, as they said, I think they said it was 190 degrees. And they had to tell you that. You couldn't feel it. No, I don't feel temperature. Not that I never feel temperature, but I don't feel it like you do. Oh, why is that?

Part of my condition, you know, when you've been prematurely cremated. Not literally. but if colloquially, temperature is off. And I feel temperature too much. That's why I've got to stay above 90 degrees or I'll turn into a sexual miata. Oh. Yeah. I'm like the bus from speed, but for sex.

Oh, interesting. Yeah, I get that. You got a Sandra Bullock in you? I don't know. I've never seen that movie. I was too old. Oh, yeah, they didn't like to sit. Listen, I know that you like to run hot,

but I'm going to ask that you stop trying to slide the hot tub cover over us because it's getting a little bit too hot when you do that. So I'd love to be out in the fresh air on top. What if they bomb us? I think we're going to be fine. Okay. Oh, it's true. They'll see us from the air and drop a bomb.

What a way to go. I mean, if we're all going to die, let's just touch a little. That's fine. The dedication, it was a hot day. Roosevelt was there. He gives us speech. What was he wearing? Oh, clothes.

He was wearing clothes. That's right. And I was there. I don't know if I, have I told you this before, Dutch? I'm certain we've heard every one of each other's stories, but go for it. I was there. I had, you know, I didn't work on the thing. When my fingers went away, they says, we don't have any work for you.

Get out of here. And I was incensed. But it's interesting that you say when my fingers went away. I like that. It's a bit of a poetic way to put it. Yeah, they went away. They're in the wall. When my wife went away.

Wait, what? Did you smash your wife to death with the rock? I would never do that. They found half of her. As I was saying, I was angry and I got wind that Roosevelt was coming to town. And me and a few other people who had been fired from the dam was drinking in the daytime. And we says, let's kill Roosevelt. Oh, my God.

He had it coming. Yeah. And can I ask what, I mean, obviously, I know your situation you were let go because your fingers are now just tiny little nub baby stumps. But what about the other people? What other reasons would the foreman have for letting go of this? Well, there was a fair amount of intentional pushing off the wall. And if you were seen doing it, they had no choice but to fire. They didn't want to, but they had to or else they were accountable.

Right, right. So it was a bit of, I don't want to see that kind of thing. Yes, exactly. If it's going to happen, you know. Right. Yeah. If they saw you do it, they had to fire you. And then if you made a lot of noise, they would pretend to call the police.

And keep in mind, there was a sign over. the thing when you'd enter work and it'd say better to push than get pushed. So it was a climate of self-preservation. Right. Of course. So some of your buddies that you had been drinking with had been fired for pushing. I believe all of them were. And this was a bar, because it wasn't anything in Boulder City, Nevada or that side. This was a bar that they set up specifically for people who had been fired for intentionally pushing a man off of the dam. And so it was like 30 guys in there all day. And I was the only one there who hadn't pushed anybody. So, and we, a lot of talk of intentional pushing.

Sure. What about accidental? I mean, you know, begs the question, right? Was there any sort of other kinds of pushing? Sure, sure. There was. Oh, yeah. It was a, I think they said that one in 20 people working on the wall was accidentally

pushed off. Okay. So not falling. We're not saying these people are falling off. They were pushed, but the push was accidental. Right. So that did happen too. Oh.

Falling. Falling, accidental, intentional push. Okay. Right. And jumping. Oh, and jumping as well. Intentional falling. Yes. And intentional being pushed.

There was a fair amount of that. Right. Suicide by friend. Yes. Yes. If you see somebody with their arm outstretched, you sort of walk up there and you bounce off their hand. And now you've intentionally been pushed.

And there was a fair amount of that. But those people did get fired because they would say, I just had my hand out. And that's not a foul or a problem. penalty. But the person who intentionally pushed themselves did get posthumously fired. Yes, yes. That was every Friday they went through a round posthumous firing. Those were the

days. Those were fun because they'd bring out a little taco cart. It was nice. And would the families come to pay their respects as well or is that a separate? They were mostly jettisoned for dead left to go down to Mexico. There wasn't a lot of welfare back then and that's how he liked it. Yeah. That's right.

That's right. Anyways, it was my job to I was a sniper to shoot Roosevelt. Get all the way up there in position. And I sat up there in my little blind for about, you know, three days getting ready because I didn't want to be seen coming and going. And when did you realize you didn't have a trigger finger?

That's exactly the moment. Yeah. I realized it the moment that I got the signal. I got the signal from the dam guy waving a red flag at me. It says, now's the time. And I start pulling the trigger, pulling the hell out of it. but nothing's happening. Nothing's happening. And that's what I realized, oh, okay, it's the problem. So I tried other fingers. None of them, none of them have the parts of them that fire a gun.

Uh-huh. So that's why FDR is alive today. Wow. Incredible. Other than that, he'd be splattered all over the Hoover Dam. Wow. Isn't that something? That was a beautiful story. Thank you very much. To be sure. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know that I've, you're not going to put this out. Is this a radio show? Yeah, why are we talking in the microphone? Right. Oh, this is a, you know, it's a radio.

Okay. Guys, who pooped in the tub? There's something floating here. Oh. I might have brought that in from the other day. Okay. So guys, yeah, I mean, this is a radio show. We're not just totally relaxing here.

Okay. So. Is there a statue of limitation on trying to kill a president? Well, I believe he's already passed at this point now. And so. Roosevelt. Victory. You did it

Really? Yeah Oh, okay Did he die as a result of me trying to shoot him? He might have. All right. Am I touching myself? I can't really see into the, you know,

the water's gotten a bit murky now. Well, I'll tell you I am. Okay. Okay. Oh. Yeah. Uh-oh. Is the water getting too cold?

Yeah. Yeah, get it up because I am just a whirling gig of pleasure. Oh, well. noticed you guys were maybe getting a bit chilly as you're sitting, you're sitting on each other's laps. Is that what it did? Okay. Oh, look at that.

You guys can start out. There's enough seats in here for everyone to have the own. We are sitting on each other's lap. That's pretty amazing. As you've got the one leg going in between the other leg and the other leg on top of the other one's leg. I believe they call it scissering. Okay.

That's not bad. My nurse is going to be angry with me. She says, no more twisting yourself into pretzels. Oh, is that this 10-year-old girl over here? Yes. Yes. That's my nurse. That's what I call.

I found her at the library. She introduced herself to me as your granddaughter. Uh-huh. Oh, sweetheart. You're my granddaughter. Yeah, she introduced me to her as a granddaughter, too. Oh, okay. All right.

I don't know. I don't know what's going on. She might be, oh, no, you know what it is? Sometimes I tell people you're my granddaughter. And other times I say tell people you're my nurse. Okay. And we've got a handful of those. Okay.

But I found her in the library. and brought her home on the bus. Interesting. She's sticking around. Yeah, we have a nice time. She and I. She chews my food for me. You should meet my nurse.

It's a Honda robot. Oh. Yeah, that little white bubble-headed guy. What does it do? It does jumps and does flips. You're kidding me. That's it. Jumps and flips?

Yeah. So how's the, are you guys able to stand? on top of the meds that you need to be taking under the supervision of the robot and a small girl? Oh, well she does, well, you see that bag that she's carrying there. Her school bag? Yeah, that's full of pills.

It's got nothing but pills in it. Oh. Yeah, we said, I said, you're not going to need any of these books. Anything you need to learn, I'll tell you. Right. We got rid of all the books and just filled the bag with pills. And every once in a while, I dip my hand in there. They're just loose in there. Loose pills. Who can open those

bottles? Yeah. And I just take a handful of bills. And I don't know what they are or where they came from. Right. You know, I think a couple of those are Barbie shoes I saw you taking earlier. Oh, those are good. Yeah, those are good. Yeah.

I got to watch those going down, though. It can be a little pointy. I got addicted to Barbie shoes a while back. Oh, well, that was, yeah. Yeah, that was rough. He lost the entire 1970s. This guy was gone. I sure did.

I never knew Watergate. Star Wars and the Bicentennial. Those are things that I don't know what they are. He's never heard of those things. He's never heard of them because he was gone on the rug. All right, sir, my arm. Now, gentlemen, I wanted to ask you, have you revisited the dam in any recent years

just to check up on, you know, relive the memories, check it out. I went with my family for vacation. Oh, your big, big family? Yeah, I did. And, you know, because I had watched Vegas Vegas. with Chevy Chase and there is a scene where he plugs the holes in the dam with gum and it was so hilarious I just thought I thought you know there's something really funny about that and so I had to go see

the dam for myself I haven't seen that picture it's hilarious imagine there's water coming out and Chevy Chase is there and he goes he's thinking hmm I'll I'm going to plug this this with gum but then the water starts coming out of another hole and now this is Chevy Chase we're talking about a I mean a hilarious comedian sure of course he's looking at the camera like this thing's going down and it's going to my fault right at the camera really there's a scene where he looks at the camera and he goes, this thing's going down. It's going to be my fault. What caused the holes in the picture? Well, I don't know. I think he just happened upon a hole and I think he filled it with gum.

And then, of course, one thing leads to another and he's caused it. Now, you don't think you're a little biased because your last name has gum in it. Now, I didn't think about that. And I guess you might be right. I am prone to enjoying gum humor and I do love juicy fruit commercials. And I do love, um... Do you have a favorite child who visits Willie Walker's Chocolate factory. So anyways, did you visit

the Hoover Dam at all? Do you have a favorite lesser known Marks brother? All right, gang, I'm going to ask the questions here, all right? So have either of you visited the Hoover Dam in recent years? I go back frequently to visit my fingers.

Sir, you're screaming. I apologize. I have poor volume regulation. I go back frequently to visit my fingers. So is that the premature cremation that messes with your temperature as well as your volume? Yes, it has a long list of symptoms that become apparent from time to time. I don't have a list of my symptoms.

Because as you speak, there is a bunch of dust and a few moths come out every now. Oh, shit. We're technically supposed to wear a respirator around him. Yes. Don't inhale me, please. But the moths, I can't do anything about. I'm very embarrassed of the moth. Oh, don't be embarrassed.

It's fine. Your little nurse girl is having a ball. chasing them around the garden. She, yes, she does have fun. And the bubbles, too. I make bubbles. Yes, I have seen a few of those coming out the tip of your penis. There comes to bubbles.

Now, what about you, Dutch? I go back every year to visit the grave of my wife. Oh, was your wife buried in the Hoover Dam? In the concrete. Oh, what happened there? She got intentionally pushed right into wet concrete. I was unaware that women were working on the dam at that time. They were working.

They were brought there to get pushed into the concrete. Yeah. He's had a program. Bring your wife if you want to push her into the concrete. Day. Day. And that was another one of those ones. You didn't know what it was coming.

Similar to Joke Day. Yeah, I heard about it and I said, forget the toast. Come with me. Riviera. That was her name. Wow. Yeah, she was Mexican. What was it named?

Riviera. Riviera. Riviera. And she was making you toast. Forget about it. Yeah, we can't. We got no time to lose. I want to get rid of you.

Yeah. That was. More than once a year, bring your wife if you want to push her. So, Judge, did you do the pushing on that one, or did you ask a pal? Hard to tell. Hard to tell. Hard to tell. Hard to say.

In what way? Hard to admit. In what way? Hard to confess. Okay. I did it. Do they have a statue of limitation on pushing your wife into what concrete? Are you asking about a statue of limitations?

That's what I'm asking. Yes. Yes. Is there, if, you know, my wife's technically a statue now and that all that concrete. I'll tell you what. Over here. Along with my fingers. I wonder if my fingers and your wife ever get together.

Oh, wow. Are you touching my wife? It may be. Maybe. I don't know. What about you? Ben, did you ever marry? Oh, God, yes.

She was one of the conspirators. She hated Roosevelt, too. She was a hoover girl. Did she? Oh, she also perished in the dam? She, well, she tried. Part of the plan, after I shot Roosevelt, we were all going to hang glide to Hawaii.

From the Nevada, Arizona board. That was the plane. Now, when the bullet didn't go off, I said, forget it. I'm not getting in that hang glide. So the same people that thought that you were capable of pulling the trigger on a gun thought you might also be able to harness yourself up into a hang gliding situation. Well, it was a strong wind. Uh-huh.

But with the lack of fingers, I just find all of this, you know, that no one was really looking out for you. I mean, it almost makes you feel. It also had him playing piano. No way. Yeah, it's true. It was a quiet night. They had, yeah, well, the big party that night. The plan was that I was, we were going to hang glide to Hawaii. But when the bullet didn't go off, some of the conspirators got on the hang glides and took off.

One of them was my wife. I don't know where she ended up. She's probably in Hawaii to this day. And then later that night there was a party and they asked me to play piano. And I said, no problem. I'm a hell of a piano player. I sat down and I did my best for an hour and a half. No sounds.

Yeah. I'm not a one. Sweet I can grip your arm so hard. You scream about it. I mean, my little nubs will do a lot. He really was pinching me, you know, through the palm lines, almost like that. Oh, sure. Yeah.

He really has an intense palm spring. He calls it the clams. Right. The lobster claw. I have ghost fingers in the sense that even all this time later, I still try to do things with my fingers. He has phantom fingers, but other people feel them. That's right. I did feel that wet willy gave me earlier.

And I couldn't explain it. That was it. I didn't, I licked nothing. Yeah. And put nothing in your ear. But you got a wet willy. You got a phantom wet willy. It's interesting.

It's a real phenomenon. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. What are we doing? Is this a radio show? Yeah, who are you? So, I'm Nicorette. Okay.

You're in my backyard in my hot tub. Okay, very good. And you're going to be here for a while. Oh, I set up two little beds for you downstairs. Guilty. And I'm going to keep you here until you apologize for what you did to my grandfather, peanut arms. Oh, I get it. Oh, I see.

This is coming back to get a thing type of comes around, goes around. Are we being me-toed? Oh, is that what it is? Are we getting canceled? So what did we do to your grandfather again? We gave him a peanut shell hat. You forced him into a peanut shell hat after he had already had severe brain damage from falling concrete. Oh.

You razzed him. You humiliated him. You tickled him. You tortured him. Oh. Until the peanut shell fragments, you know, lodged into his brain and caused a whole slew of health issues. And for you two, it was just a laughing joke of a holly jolly joke spree. It was a holly jolly jock.

And for our family, it was devastating. Oh. He had brain damage from falling rocks. And then we gave him a hat made out of peanut shells. And then he got hit again with rocks. Exactly. Right. And I'm inclined to believe you, you two are responsible for all of those events.

Really? Now, whether the rock falling was the unintentional, intentional, whether it was pushing, whether it was unintentionally pushed, whether it was thrown, whether it was intentionally thrown or unintentionally thrown. throne. I don't give a goddamn shit. Oh my God. I'll cop to the peanut hat, but I don't know about the... And I'll cop to throwing rocks at your grandfather, but I don't know anything about the peanut hat. So, double jeopardy, I guess. What's that mean? Exactly.

There was quite a bit of dropping rocks on people below you going on at the Hoover Dam. Quite a bit of that. And a lot of it was intentional. I'll tell you right now, but you wouldn't get fired for that. It was called Boulder, Colorado. Mm-hmm. Precisely. Nevada. Nevada.

Precisely. So they call it that because it was raining boulders all the time. You couldn't pin it on a person. Now the peanut hat, you could. I did that. Good. Well, you know, I think this is going to be a good full circle moment for both of you. I'll keep you here at my lodgings.

Are we imprisoned? Yes. Oh. You're going to stay here with me. Have we been bad boys? You have. And you're going to be having peanut shells for breakfast, lunch, and dinner until you die your custody old deaths. Okay.

Keep me wet, though. I'm telling you, I'll blow away. Keep me above 90. I'll tell you I'll blow away. Oh, no. What happened? Something in my body stopped. Can you narrow it down?

Was it at all? Well, it ain't. It's an animal. vegetable or mineral. I don't know. Well, I don't either. Okay, let me feel. Would you mind just...

That's me. Oh, whoops. And it's still ticking. Let me tell you. All right, I'm going to have another handful of Barbie shoes. Thank you for joining me, gentlemen. You'll find your quarters in the basement where you'll live out the rest of your days with mild to moderate torture. Oh.

As repentance for all of the horrible deeds you did in the day. damn that you were not punished for legally at the time. That's fine. That's okay by me. This turned out better than I thought, Ben. Yeah, this is not bad at all. Now we've got a place to live. We went again, old Dutch.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for joining us. I'm Nicorette Gumwad. Chunk. With My Own Eyes, is brought to you by Andy Daly with Matt Goreley. It's mixed and edited by Brett Morris, and executive produced by Andy Daly, Brett Morris, Scott Alckerman, and Jersey Mike.