Bonanas for Bonanza - The Andy Daly Podcast Project Presents Extravaganza Octopod 1, Episode 3: Extravaganza: “The Travel Bug with August Lindt Episode 10th Anniversary Special”

Episode Date: January 17, 2026

Guest: H.R. Giger, Pope Benedict XVI, Werner HerzogIt’s hard to believe, but August has been your podcasting travel bug for ten years! To mark the occasion, he’s reassembled the panel from the very first episode. Wonderful travel destinations are reviewed and many other topics explored in this heartwarming milestone episode.Featuring: Matt Gourley, Matt Besser & Paul F. TompkinsSubscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDalyMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, Andy Daley here with another episode of Bonus Nanza Extravaganza, the comedy podcast grabbag series that Matt Gourley and I have been doing exclusively on my Patreon for the past few years. But now I'm releasing a season, or octapod, of eight extravaganzas right here every Saturday. These episodes were lovingly hand-selected by the Patreon subscribers for your enjoyment. And if you do find yourself enjoying them, we certainly hope you'll consider subscribing at patreon.com. slash Andy Daily. With that, I give you the Andy Daily podcast project presents extravaganza Octopod 1, episode 3, extravaganza, the travel bug with August Lint, 10th anniversary special, featuring Matt Goreley, Matt Besser, and Paula Tompkins. Enjoy. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the travel bug with August Lint. This is episode 520

And it's a very special episode. I cannot believe we've been doing this for 10 years. We've been doing the travel bugs for 10 years. A decade. Oh, yes, it's halfway to 20. Two decades. Right? Half a score.

Oh, is it a score 20 years? Yes. If you're doing it right, bang, bang, I'm teen gigger. Oh my goodness. Yes, we'll explain that at a moment. Folks, this is it. I've assembled the original gang from the VIII. very first episode of the travel bug this August Lint, back again to be here again,

to do for us the 10th anniversary show. So much has happened in 10 years of this show. And so we have, of course, we have, we have Werner Herzog is here. Werner Herzog, legendary filmmaker and Simpson's voice actor. He is the subject of a new memoir written by himself. It is called Everyman for Himself and God Against All. This is correct. That is the most.

And I stand by that title. You say that you do every man from, you believe that God is against us all? Absolutely. Really? How can you believe otherwise? What can give up? He says it against you until he's,

until you prove otherwise, that's for sure. Where this brings us to introduce the next guess who I'm so excited to, because I really didn't think we could get him. This time in particular, he was the holy pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church from 2005 to 2013, and then he called himself Pope Emeritus until about a year ago when he I double retired.

I first retired from being a pope and then I retired from life briefly. Oh, what do you mean briefly? Briefly. Well, I'm here today, August. Yeah, you're back. I retired from... Well, first off, there is a line. A line.

There's a line. There's a staircase and there's a line. You're talking about, okay, you're lying in a bed and you're having a hard time breathing and they say, okay, there goes the flat line on the machine. Yes, there is a light. He's dead. Yes, there is a tunnel.

There is a light. You go to the light and then there's a line. Like you think you're going to be somewhere and then there's a line. Is this the legendary St. Peter at the gates checking people in? It is. There's not a St. Peter. I never saw St. Peter. I never got that far in the line.

It's like the Disney line. Can you get a fast past? That's what I'm going to say. Like Disney line, I was asking about that. because you think you're up there because you see the guy with the book, not St. Peter.

Somebody else with the book. Just a guy. I was like, that's St. Peter. And they're, no, that's not St. Peter.

But they didn't tell you who it was. No, well, nobody knows. We're all in line. Everybody's in the same boat. I'm in a bunch of other people, you know,

you meet the same people that's snaking around serpent. There's always a guy in a line who acts like he knows what's going on, but he doesn't know. Yes, exactly. Like, he's in charge. I'm like,

do you work here after we've been there for, you lose track of time too. But after a while, I retired from that line and came back here. You just said, forget this and walked out. Yes. And now you're back here? It's amazing.

This is like a Lazarus situation, like the Lazarus man. Is this an option that is open to everyone or only Pope's emeritus? No, no, it is an option. Well, there is a deal. I wasn't going to get totally into this, but. I think people would like to know, like, after they die. I have to help people now. Yeah, yeah, what?

I have to help people now. Oh, I see. It's like a high waste to heaven. People keep saying that to me. I never saw it, but yes, apparently it's like the highways to heaven. So you are allowed to come back to the earth in a bodily form, and but unfortunately, you have to help people. Yes, unfortunately. You've never done that before in your life.

No, mostly telling people what they do, what they did wrong, threatening people with Catholic laws you know stuff I was good at that's greater Catholic law but not to come back and actually help people so every day

one a day do you travel from town to town it's impossible to trap that's the thing I would like to do that like the Hulk do you have a victim of French but if you travel

you can't help someone unless you're helping someone on the way you see what I mean so I'm mostly around actually this the Glendale Passage just all around here.

So it's not so much a highway to heaven. It's more like a parking lot right here to heaven. Oh, you'll think this is heaven where we are. Sure, Glendell is the jewel city. It is both heaven and hell and a little bit of purgatory for flavor. Yes, it's mostly the burglotoy is how I'm helping out, actually. I find actors. And I, well, lately I've been explaining contraction to me.

them, the actor contraction, and just saying, the dream's over, maybe move back to your home state where you'll be happier. What does that mean contraction? It's the shrinking of something, yeah? So you sort of say... You'll explain it to you? I've never heard this content. You're saying, is this something you say to someone, like you've gone too far,

time to come back, or something? Well, it means there's a lot less jobs for actors now. Oh, it's that kind of contraction, a show business contraction. Exactly. And I explain it to them. I show them the deadline. articles. And, you know, but I'm just getting them hard truth in a friendly way and tell them, you know,

you missed, it's nothing wrong with home. Right. Nothing wrong with community theater. I feel at this point I must apologize because I am a part of the problem with the actor contraction because I am getting more and more acting roles and just and thus putting actors out of work. That's for sure. And you're an 81 year old man too.

It's like you're not exiting. stage lefts. No, I've played, of course, the villain in the Jack creature film. I have also played the fellow in the Mandalorian who wants to get the baby Yoda. And now I'm just coming from set. Why did you want, why did that character want to get the baby Yoda? For credits. He had to get some space credits. He wanted to become a credit heir.

Speaking of space, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to say hello to HR Gie Girl. Hi, hi guys. The Oscar winning designer of Corn's microphone stand. Yes. And the famous safety pin sunglasses. I like your sunglasses. Thank you very much. They are sunglasses and I popped out the sun part.

Dingle, dingle, dingle. Why not sear your retinas if you can get it? Yeah, that's right. So how about you been? You've had a rebirth. Yeah, but a little different than the old pope, though. Because I died, just did that. on my own, you know, did it like anyone would.

No big deal, right? Didn't you fall down the stairs or something? Hard to say, because I don't remember, but much at the time. Right. But the important thing is I came back a la Spock in Star Trek 3, where I just was regenerated and have to go through life again, so I am currently teen geiger, no big deal. Okay.

Okay. So lay off my back, first of all, Guy. Second of all, I'm really rebellious in this phase. Late stage teenager, so I think I think I'm. I know what I'm talking about. Oh, it's ridiculous. Can you imagine HR Giga without a fully developed prefrontal cortex? It's trying at times.

I had to register for the Selective Service Act the other day. Oh, you did. Yes. Of a draft because I'm 18. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah. And so what if I go to war? You know, who to fight for?

I mean, do I use ooze? What do I do, you know? Oh, you can use ooze as a weapon. Well, yeah. And I'm not talking about an oozy. I'm just saying, what if I'm not. I used a type of biological warfare that was a black goo like in Prometheus, and it's a kind of abstract thing that maybe it is, what is it?

Who knows? Let's not answer the question, Damon Lendell Hoff. Yeah, right. I have not seen the Promevials. Speaking of goo and ooze, do you feel that there is some crossover between the aliens and the teenage mutant ninja turtles? Yeah, it's a product called Goose.

Like Louis Guzman. It is him. Yes. does, you know, new commercials for Team Mobile Metro plan? Louis Bousamontas? Yes, yes. Is that a good plan? I think it's their answer to Mint Mobile,

if I'm being honest. The Ryan Goswick plan? Is that who does the commercial for it? Ryan Renham. Same guy. He also seems to own the company. Something like that. And a football team.

Soccer to you, a bunch of old guys. Did you just say my Super Bowl ad that I consulted on? No, I didn't see that. You consulted on a Super Bowl? Bowl at this year. Did you watch the Super Bowl? I was in and out. I was in and out of it. I knew, because we all knew what

was going to happen. It was going to be a nail bider and Travis Kelsey and tell us if it was going to win. I watch for her. Everybody knew. Pop music. Yeah. Yeah. What was your commercials? You saw the commercial, did you know? I saw the commercial. It was an advertisement for Jesus. It was? Yes, I consulted

on it. It was mostly people in different scenarios. of life where one person was washing the feet of another person. Okay. As Jesus washed the feet. He was really into that, huh? Yes, he was.

Kind of kinky. I was part of the consulting team just coming up with different feet washing scenarios. You just had to think of status plays like a cat washing a dog's foot. Oh, I like that. Because the dog is on top of the. the cat in the pecking orders of the animals. They normally don't like each other. It's not a nice status.

I shouldn't have said it that way. No, because I know sometimes... It's like imagined watching Drew Carey watch the feet of Mimi, the clown in the office who makes his life miserable. Or Victor... That didn't make the cut. That was in the long cut. That was in the long cut.

Victor French, getting his feet washed by Michael Landon. Oh, can you imagine that? Obviously, Landon is in charge and that has a scenario. dry Victor French's feet with his hair like Mary Magdalene did with Jesus. I wouldn't mind seeing that. Yeah. Right? Kind of nice.

Yeah. No king shaming here, man. Back off. I know it's a tradition for the Pope to wash somebody's feet every year. It's a weird tradition. They do it. Is it like a contest? It's like a tradition or the reason we want to be Pope, my friends.

Oh, boy. We're getting into it. Maybe you just see the, maybe you see it one time of year. Oh, it happens all the time in the Pope's house. Oh, in the Vatican basement. We have all sorts of shit going on. Oh, God, I know. Oh, wow.

How do you decide whose feet? Is it like the eighth caller or something? There's a lottery. Well, first off, there's a lottery just in Rome, you know. The locals, they get one for sure. Yeah. And there's a national, I mean, an international lottery. Yeah.

So you had to be a good Catholic and we vet it. And then there's a round. It's like enacting the fun run where we just get, we just go out, we just get a total wacko. You remember in the early 80s when we were first run, both you and me, there was a kind of tandem night with Studio 54 and it was me, Blondie, Warhol, Maggie Thatcher. We came over and we do this whole thing in your basement and it was like a foam party, which was new at the time and really hit me. Totally new, freaking people out, especially your fucking weird ass. Black foam. Yeah, black foam.

That stuff did end up being toxic. Oh, we did lose some people. I was barred from Studio 54 because I went there with Klaus Kinski and he famously ate Truman Capote's scarf. Oh. Terrible. I remember that. And it wasn't to shock people. He was just hungry.

What was the scarf made out of? It was a wool scarf. He said, let me eat that flat snake. That's not a snake claws. Oh, no. Poor Truman Capote, he had enough problems at that time in his life. Are you watching the swan? Oh, are you kidding?

I can't wait. I can't. Is it not out yet? I don't know. I don't know either. But, okay, look, before we get started with the podcast. I don't know. I'm a cable color.

I don't do TV, man. I just watch streaming clips. I'm a teen. Okay? He cut the cord like all of them teens is doing. TikTok it to me and I'll let you know. bitch. All of your media

comes to you on the TikTok. I can't believe it. Look, first of all, a little bit of housekeeping. There are a few, no, there are two slots left for my tour, my spring tour of Snake Island off the coast of Brazil, everybody. I've been talking about this for months. Wow. The island is infested with golden lance head vipers.

But the thing is, it's two slots, but if you're not a doctor, it's only one slot, because the ratio of visitor to doctor has to be one to one because your chances are being bitten by a venomous snake is 100%. And then you also have to be proficient with a firearm, please, in case we run into biopirates.

Okay, that's the housekeeping. Don't want people shooting guns at snakes, though. No. That's how you get shot, friendly fire. It's very difficult to shoot a snake with a gun as any player of Red Dead Redemption, too, can tell you. They are very, very, low profile, hard to hit.

If you don't have the eagle eye enabled and the ability to put an X on the head, you will have a very difficult time getting a perfect snake belt. Why don't you send Klaus Kinski to eat them all? Hop five. Please, I pray, don't let him come back. If you see him anywhere in any of these

these celestial waiting rooms, keep him there. Okay. Keep him on the line, whatever it takes. Can you imagine having Klaus Kinski come back from the dead to help people? Oh no. I simply cannot. It can't be imagined.

Highway to hell. Yeah. Perhaps Klaus Kinski goes around and sabotages people's lives. Hey now, that's not a bad idea for a show. It's actually not a bad idea. Could it survive the contraction? Do you think, Pope? Someone has to get jobs.

It has to be some content. Some content is happening. Yeah, right. I guess so. But doesn't it have to be IP? Okay, anyways. I don't have to the original idea. No, there's no original ideas. But look it, we've been doing this for 10 years now, the travel bag, and having a wonderful time. And so much has happened. We, I launched the travel bag, the mailbag episode. We've been doing that. We do couples counseling with Dr. Doolman, myself and Uta. And my employer, Dr. Duhlman Schmeiderberg has got his license for marriage counseling and he helps us.

That's a lot of people, just helping two people. But no, it's only the one man. Dr. Doolman. Shmiederberg, who is the president of Schmeiderberg pretzels, is also a licensed marriage counselor. And he, we'd make a podcast where every podcast episode is a session of couples counseling, which led by him. Okay. I understand. And this fellow is the one who is sleeping with your wife, Uta? Oh, I don't know.

They're sleeping together. I mean, sometimes they... They are. I misspoke. Yeah, you're right. I don't know where I got this crazy idea. Well, she has a second home, like a vacation home. home. It's a few blocks away from our house.

Like Howie Mandel? Yeah, just like a Howie, it's like a Howie Mandel house, except the only difference is that Doolman also lives there. So that's a roommate situation. So that's all. You know about Howie Mandel? I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, you look like, he, Howie Mandel has one house where he lives with his family, who is a bunch of slobs. And then he has a house next door or something. You mean a normal?

Yeah. Yeah. He has a house next door or something that he keeps just as clean as Howie Mandela wants it. So he doesn't live with the family. He says he has a house where he lives with the family, but he doesn't live there. He goes over there to fuck his wife and to eat with his children. You think maybe he does that, yeah. He goes by. If you were very clean, you wouldn't want to fuck in your clean house.

You don't want to fuck in the slob slobbery. He does all of his marital and parental duties in the disgusting house. Then he goes back home, takes an industrial shower. and kicks back and watches some TV. Do you think the shower is at the door? Yes, I believe the vestibule is a sort of decontamination area like you would have on a spacecraft. Otherwise, you'd get your whole house dirty, just walk into the shower. Precisely.

Right, it's like an airlock situation, and he takes it real serious, and I think it's a wonderful lifestyle. Doesn't that sound like if you had all the money in the world, like Howie Mandel does? Anyone would do that, right? I'd want a third house just for shitting. because I don't want to shit in my clean house. That's a good point. I don't want to shit around my dirty wife. He's making the poops and the peas in his super clean house.

Why doesn't he have another house to just not go in? You know, to keep clean and not ever going. Oh, but in bubble wrap. It will be worth more. He puts a bunch of nanny cams in every room so he can just look at the nice, clean, pristine rooms. Oh, that sounds really nice. I would watch that show all day long. That's pretty.

How much the Vatican, not you're describing it. Really? A lot of fancy, empty rooms that we just look at. Hey, we haven't talked to you since it came out the two popes movie, where you was portrayed by Anthony Hopkins. I didn't see it before. You didn't watch that? This is the one with the young pop, the made-up young pop?

No, that's Jude law. Let's get this straight. Every day, people on the street, this problem. Jude law's young pope, Anthony Hopkins, Jonathan Price, the two popes. The sequel to the young pope, the new pop, still Jim Blah. Then there was Pope cubed. All the Pope content makes me mad because I'm like, that's not how it is. Oh, that must drive you crazy to be on the inside and see somebody try to depict it.

Exactly. But what happens in the two popes? Oh, man, it's the story of your life. You go to check it out. That's fantastic. Me? Yeah. It's all about how the...

You're one of the titular two popes. That's right. You're half of the title of the thing. It was apparently... All the way back to one of mine, it was a Nazi. secret not to. It doesn't go back to that. There is a conversation

that the two popes have that is in silence and the current Pope looks very horrified to hear what you the former Pope is telling him and we are never privy to what this is

but we have a pretty good idea. Oh wait a minute I don't remember that is it shot from like... You don't remember that? No. Is it shot from like a distance or something like that? No. Okay.

We get it close but there's music We don't hear the dialogue. We don't hear the dialogue. We just see Jonathan Price as Pope Francis. His eyes grow wide with horror. And then we move on. What is going on? That's a great thing for all biographies.

For now on, just the disturbing part of the biography, just have it whispered like Michael Jackson could just whispering part of his life in someone's ear. That's a long whisper, man. And then we can move on to the songs. That's a great idea. At the end of Lost in Translation where Bill Murray confesses to war crimes. Is that what it was that he said there? Yes.

Oh my God, because people always wondered that. But what did he say? Like, I was a part of the Tamil Tigers. He says, I'm secretly Pol Pot. Oh, my God. Of course he does. That makes all the sense in the world. What Pope Benedict do you think your character was confessing to Pope Francis in this movie?

Could you even imagine what it could be? Well, if it wasn't short, it was probably a... I was a nutty for a while and it was fun for a while, patrol. People change the mind. On the screen, was he doing that body? He did he have one hand up? Did he have one hand up so nobody can read the lips? He put up the hand shield.

Good luck reading my lips. You pop's not out of a good time. My goodness, I don't know how I don't remember it. You know why I don't remember that? because when I watch movies, I don't look at them. That's the problem. If it's not dialogue, I don't hear it. Watch movies in the car?

Yeah, I watch movies while I drive and I try to keep my eyes on the road. That's the responsible way to drive and watch movies. Yeah, of course. It's the best way to do it. You prop your phone up, landscapes on the dashboard, and then you just let it play through the speaker system and tried not to look at it.

A good way to learn a language. Everyone is obsessed with this duolingo, but I find the best method is to watch a foreign language film and also be on your phone at the same time and look up occasionally and try to piece together what is going on. And if you can do it, then you are learning that language. That's a great idea. What are you doing on your phone at the same time?

Scrolling. So you're scrolling through the socials media. And meanwhile, there's a movie on there and sometimes you look up and sometimes you read what it says. Yes. You're on socials. I haven't seen you there. I have a few Finsters and I lurk.

I like to lurk. That's pretty cool, man. Did you say Finsters? Thanks. I did say Finsters. What's a finster? Fake Insta, man, like Mitt Romney. Oh, what was his name again?

Something like Reginald Turkey. What was it? Let me look it up on my phone. Mitt Romney had a fake Instagram? Yeah. How was it figured out? I think you nailed it. It was Reginald Turkey.

Let me look it up. Hold on. I got to swipe out of Quibi. We almost, we came so close to having President Reginald Turkey. What was it? It's a funny name, right? It was a cartoon character. It was a Francois or something. It was a sort of French soap opera name. Okay, hold on. I remember James Comey had a fake in the Twitter of Reinhold Niebuhr.

And somebody figured it out. Pierre Delecto. Pierre Delecto. Wow, that's pretty good. and this is coming from a teen. Then they figured it out because Pierre said his favorite meat was also hot dog. That's right.

That's the giveaway. Watch out. That's what Midron needs. Somebody said, what's your favorite meat? What a gotcha question. That is on a campaign trail. A grown man, there's no other man

whose favorite meat is hot dogs. A kid, yeah, one to me, sure. Sure. I can't imagine someone making their whole life about hot dogs. but I don't think it was a gotcha I think he offered this information without any prodding whatsoever Oh that's a classic

Kinsley gaff When a politician accidentally says the truth Yeah Yeah So, okay Well who is Pierre Delecto Why did he choose that name? Does he have an alter ego name of that?

That's just his finster man Okay That's his finster Do you have a finster Paul Benedict? I'm just learning about this Yeah, me too. I'll get him to it. Maybe I'll go out as

the young pope. Is there really a sequel to the young pope called the new pope? Yeah. Isn't that? Yes, John Malkovich plays the new pope. That's right. Just like Jude Law was in the talented Mr. Ripley

and then Malcovich was in Ripley's game. Keep going. Keep going. Don't look at me. Stop looking at me. Do you think that eventually John Malkovich will play a handsome sex robot the way Jude Law did in AI.

Oh, I would have to hope. Okay. Don't look at me. Keep moving. Don't watch him hope. Okay. I'm still growing. I have growing pains.

It affects me. Oh, my goodness. Your skin, we're watching. Look, he got taller. He's become... Don't look at me. I'm hideous. In real time.

I'm so grotesque. I'm beautiful. I've achieved my perfect form. But don't look at it. me. We're watching his skin and the pimples is arriving and disappearing at a lightning rage. You're aging fast, right? Now we see the inspiration for your art. Now you're thinking the grotesque pimples. That is your art, my man. I look in the mirror and I see inspiration. By the time this episode is over, I might be in my 20s, so we'd better hurry.

Oh. Your cystic acne is rising and falling like a bubbling pot of tomato sauce. You are so beautiful to me. You're gorgeous human being. You say what I see. Oh, that's nice. You know, what I paint, what I visualize. You are able to say you are the poet to my aratus. You see what I saw.

You see what I did here? That's what she said. All the fucks were given. All the feels. I'm not mad at it. Absolutely no one. Bejjiga. Ouse.

Said no one ever. I'm really here for this. Okay. Do you want to play two? Oh, it's wonderful. Okay, you guys, like we do in every episode of the travel bug for 10 years now, we get to talk about a travel destination that we've been to and that we've really enjoyed, or maybe the one that we hated.

It doesn't matter. You can say, I loved it, I hated it. Who's been to someplace interesting they want to tell us about? Anybody want to start? I have. Okay, Werner Herzog, where have you been? This is the part of the show, then. The moon.

Oh, wow. You've been to the moons? Just the one. You're talking about the guy that is orbiting our planet while our planet is orbiting the suns. Yes, the moon of Earth called Luna. I have been there. How did you get to the moons? I stowed away in a Jeff Bezos spacecraft.

Oh, my God. I hear that is happening, yeah. That's incredible. So, okay, you started away. Did you bring some snacks? Yes, I brought, do you know, Sargento balanced breaks? Sargento balanced what? Breaks, did you say?

That's what I said. Sargento balanced breaks. B-R-A-K-E? You have to balance the brakes on this snacks? No, it's balanced past tense. It has already been balanced. You have to do nothing. And break is like taking a break and having a snack.

Okay, Sargento is a cheese and sausage outfit. That's correct. Okay. They have partnered epically with rich crackers. Oh my God. Wheat thins and the third trisket. You've got to be kidding me. Are you being serious?

I am being 100% serious. I have partnered with Sargento. How many crackers on top is like a club sandwich but for crackers? It is little tiny versions of the crackers that you know with little pieces of cheese and you put them together and eat them. This is a shocking development. Or you may eat them separately. Eat all the crackers first, then all the cheese.

What kind of lunatic would do that? Wait, wait. We've said a lot of interesting stuff today. Yeah, we have. But you're saying, and maybe I'm misunderstanding, imagining something else. Yeah. Did Trisket and the wheat thin? And the writs?

And the writs are all in the same? No. Oh. That's interesting. There are separate. containers you can get one with Ritz, one with things once. No big disappointment man. We haven't gotten there yet, fellows.

I'm sorry, but maybe one day. You like Coke and Pepsi saying, yeah, for this one thing, you pour us both into the same dream. Yeah, and why not put a little R.C. in there too? But no, separate rooms, everyone. Separate rooms. No, nothing to see here. That was a bummer.

Think about it though from the perspective of a Ritz-Krakker, which is the king of the crackers, probably. It's the Ritz Crack of and say, we don't... You're saying your personality. What? Right there.

That's very telling. Or you say Trisket is the king of the crackers? I say we think, man. Get out of here. I'm a grown man who loves hot dogs. I'm a club man myself. Or club cracker? That's great.

That's the craziest one of all. But if, let's just say, whatever you think is the king of the crackers doesn't want to be solid with association to this other crackers, inferior crackers. This is not the we are the world of crackers. Certainly not.

It sounds like it might be, though. That's what you're setting up. That I was excited about. Who's the Al Jero of Crackers? Yeah, wasted. Cheese nips. Sheeeps. Who's the Whelan Jennings of Crackards who says, fuck this?

Real early. Fuck this, dumb snack. I'm out of here. He sold early and made a cash cow, even though he made no money. Well, anyway, listen, can you get a multi-pack? So that you got one pack with a... Triscuit, one pack with the wits, one pack with the wheat in. They are sold as multi-packs of the individual iterations.

You cannot get one that has all three. Oh my God, that's crazy. Okay, well, but that's what you had for survival. For survival, to the moon, yes. Well, okay, maybe we got two bog down in the snacks. What? This isn't a snack review show. No, it's not, but I mean.

I'm prepared to do that if it becomes one. Oh, I know. But what was the moon like? Did you get onto the surface of it? Yes, I did. Wow. I walked around in a space suit. Really?

Jumping in a comical way, the way people do, as you see in films. I've seen that, yeah. Taking long, slow jumps. Oh, yeah. I saw the MTV flag. Is it so funny when there's a lot of, I'm sure everyone's doing it? Like, does it lose its kind of humor after a while? It does when you see the other people doing it, and then you realize, oh, that's what I look like.

You become very self-conscious. The big steps on the moon is getting to be kind of hack at this point. Giant steps are what you take. Oh, walking under moon. You have no choice. I don't get it. Are you doing it all with the understanding that it's fake, but you feel the pressure to do it,

or really you have to do it because it's no gravity as much? What? The stepping is the way of this. It's the only way you can do it. Okay. But I do not know if it is because you are compelled to do it by your subconscious or if it actually is the gravity. Eventually, there'll be young astronauts out there,

and they'll be doing small steps and going old school giant steps. Scapeboarding, leave it to me. I could go do it. I believe that is true because I did drop a popsicle up there and it fell straight down. Oh. Really? So there's plenty of gravity.

And you had more snacks, you haven't disclosed. I did have... Sounds like you must have brought at least one popsicle. I did have the... Yeah, so frozen yogurt. with the crunchy mint. Oh, is that dairy-free? No, it's plenty of dairy.

Okay. It's packed with dairy. Six cows, each pops in. It's called the dairy lover's dream. Really? No. Werner, you're funny. I'm being a scamp.

But listen, I was going to say, one thing the science doesn't know is when people, you see people get shot all the time, and they fall down. Nobody knows whether they're falling down because they've seen that in the movies, or they really want to be on the ground. So what happened before movies?

Before movies, people would get shot and they would stand up and they would say, well, now what? They would die standing up. Yes. Then they were fog. Like in blue velvet. That's why the undertaker would come out and measure them. Come back.

Yeah, exactly. But I bring that up because it's similar to a long time ago you were talking about. Do you have to walk that way or is that the way, are you propelled by your self-conscious or by the needs of the gravities? Anyways What else? Did you see any evidence of previous moon

landings, particularly that first one which a lot of people say was fake? I saw the remains of the set. Oh my God. So they went up there to fake it? They went up to the moon to fake it. They thought let's cover our bases here. If we really want people to believe this, we should probably do it on the moon. I see. Did they shoot anything else up there?

Yes, the MTV logo. Okay. The bumpers for MTV. Okay. What about that man in the moon who gets a telescope in the eye? That was on the other side. We weren't allowed to go there. Oh, they don't let you on the other side. But I could see the edge of

the telescope. What about Transformers' Dark Side of the Moon? What about Pink Floyd? The dark side of the moon is packed with stuff. There's the Transformers. There's Sid Barrett. There's all kinds of stuff there. Do they just throw the trash, though? Just kind of tuck it under the dark side.

There's a trash satellite, much like the garbage patch in the ocean. Oh. There's a trash satellite. It's becoming an asteroid and eventually we'll hurtle towards Earth and we will be crushed by old milk cartons. That would be the perfect ending to Earth. Oh, it would be perfect for us to be crushed by our own garbage. That was what I was struck by most when viewing the Earth from the moon was it looks so small and so remote. I wish I could crush it.

Oh, yeah. We almost could like that with your fingers. Exactly, like the kids in the whole sketch. You're just like those guys. Man, that was funny. I'm crushing your head. I think about it a lot. What do you got old guys even talking about?

You don't even know. You know what's boxed me on, is the flag? Did you ever see a flag on the moon? There's so many flags. And they never had the ripple effect. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yes. It's just always a straight, stiff flag.

I think it is to prove that it's really on the moon. There's no air up there. Yeah, there's no way you could get a flag that stands up right. But if they built in the fake ripple, it would make people question it. Oh. But this is fake. It naturally should be going like this. It has a little crossbar.

That's why. Because there's still one sixth gravity, but there's no ripples because there's no at the flags were donated by realtors. Really? Yeah. Yes, America's realtors were very invested in the space program because they thought they could sell homes up there. Shows of sunset.

Here's not a new question for you. It's all famously Neil Armstrong said it's a small step for a man and a big step for the other man's. Did you have something prepared to save and you stepped out onto the moon for the world to remember Werner Herzog said it? I did. Yeah.

I remember opening the hatch essentially the trunk of the capsule that I could do that I stowed away. You went out the trunk. and I said bless you fuck off man Gugent height

I can't believe I didn't see it at first thank you sorry I got You've been away from the fatherland too long I've gone native

cowabunga so I opened the hatch and no one was around so I said I can say whatever I want and I yelled into my helmet don't go in there

girlfriend because it was very it was very hot and sweaty in the trunk of the space capsule I get it smelled bad you did a lunar stinky it's like an ace matured

your comment wasn't about where you were going it was more about where you were done yes it was like I'm not going there did you wave your hand in front of your hand of your hand of course I did very slowly don't be funny to take a big one on the earth and fly to the moon and go don't

go back down there, you know, it's so bad. That's what's so fun. Would you have to explain it to the people of the... Yes, I do. I don't think it's abundantly clear, but still funny enough to do, but then explain. In theory, it is hilarious. Yes. Yeah, I think that's funny, and it's a shame Neil Armstrong didn't make a joke.

Unless that is a joke. I'm sure all the tourists going out the main side of the vessel on, We're all doing that joke. There was a fucking line because everyone had to do the goddamn joke. You hate lines. I hate lines and I hate act lines. Holding up the line. He hates lines.

Move the line with the hack lines. Everyone does the one smell step. It's like on Abbey Road, right? Exactly. Stupid. Fucking assholes. Yeah. It turns out it was a joke by Neil Armstrong because mankind

did not take a giant leap. No, boy. You're right. Everything's kind of still terrible. Yeah, it turned out, he probably had a vision of the future of living on the moon that didn't turn out to be the futures.

Oh, well, poor guy. Pretty much seems the same, right? Yeah, life now versus 1969, I can't think of any differences. I would know old's. I wouldn't know. Oh, he's so cool. It's all putting, how cool that guy is.

He's so cool. Three doors down, man. All three doors down. He's really into the art music. Lynn Fisket, okay? Oh, he's a teen back in time, not a teen now. What? I don't understand.

I'm a little confused. I get my wires crossed with time. So I went somewhere. Yeah. We're going to look at you. Yeah. I'm comfortable with it now because I think that one is pretty good. Yeah.

Okay. Now, Pope, where have you been? Have you been to someplace wonderful? Wait, first of all, how many backpacks do you give the moon? Oh. Out of how many? How many? How many?

Doesn't matter. Oh, wow. On metric. Yeah. I give the moon 1,000 backpacks. Beautiful. Okay. All right, Pop, where have you been?

Well, at first I was like, maybe people will be interested in the line in purgatory and hell in heaven. But I went to Baselic outside of Fresno. Outside of Fresno, California? Yes. I want to give that place a review instead. Okay. Did you say Basilisk, the mythical creature? whose gaze will turn you to stone.

I wish I'd gone to that lake. But I went to Bass Lake. So this is a lake. I wish I'd gone to Bass Lake. That I would catch more. You should be in a band. Seinfeld. Yeah, that's a good bass.

That was, who played the bass in the theme song for Seinfeld? Was it Beaufort? Charles Mingus. Mingus Pestorius, Geddy, Lee. And I heard every episode. It was a new record. Oh, that's right. So Bass Lake is a lake.

It's got to be... Bass Lake Resort. It's not a big lake. It's full of bass, though. No, it's not. No, it's got to be full of bass. You would think, you're going to go out on a limb and call it a fish. Yeah.

You might as well call it, whatever, pick a fucking tree or flower. And then maybe there's fish in there. Dandelion. Yeah, Dandelion Lake. Maybe there's some bass in there. We'll go in there and find out, have a nice day. But if you're going to Bass Lake, what do you expect to happen? It's got to be.

full of ass. You're full of them. What happened? You didn't catch the bass? Hell no. Is it perhaps shaped like a bass? That would have been, I would have given them a break if it had to been. If I'd shone up and I thought there's no fucking bass in here and noticed, oh, it's actually shaped like a bass.

Now I get it. I maybe enjoyed it. It was my fault. I should have done more research. No, it's shaped like a fucking oval. This is a man-made lake like every little piece of shit lake in California. reminds me of the deceit. No, I like Lex, not shit, Lex in California.

This reminds me of the deceit of Benny Jerry's chunky monkey ice cream, which contains no traces of monkey. No? That's why they cut rid of it? It's merely because it rhymes. You're kidding me. No, they can't get away with that. You can't call it a monkey if it's not a monkey.

I thought there was no, that was not the banana part. Fish food they get around because they put the pH. Oh, God. But you can feed it to fish. Pieces of tray. I thought we had another fish scandal, you know. Bass, fish food. Don't look at me.

It's not good enough to call something monkey because it's got banana in it because a monkey eats a banana. If that was their defense, that doesn't make any sense. You could call a steak businessman. Cows don't eat businessmen. I'm lost.

I only. to try to go where you guys are. How do I do that? Could you help me through the darkness? Where are we starting? I'm lonely. It's like if you go to a restaurant and they are offering grass

and you order the grass and I can't wait for a plate of grass and what comes through the table is a steak. No wait. It's like if you... The other way. Yeah, if you see on the menu a steak, I can't wait to have a steak

and they bring you the grass. That's monkey to banana. I see. I don't think so, but what about Great analogy. Thank you. Duck liver paté. You're what about it?

How do we do that one? Okay. Go. Okay. How many are we going to do? Every animal, buddy. If you see on the menu, it's a duck, and you order the duck, and they bring you peanuts, which is what the ducks eat in that book by Chuck McCloskey make way for ducklings.

Never seen the duckie of a duck hunter. Wait a minute Why would it be that? The author of Makeway for Doglings is named Chuck Miklowski. I think so. Because a monkey is the banana. I ask her duck paté

and you bring me a duck hunter. Why but the banana doesn't hunt a monkey? The monkey hunts the banana. But if somebody ordered bass, they would bring you? If somebody ordered bass, they would bring you, the Pope. But that's what I end up with at the end of the day.

Me, nothing, there's no bass there. You go to a bass resort. You try to, then you, we go down to the pool. Okay. They say, you ever say that you show up and go, we'll get our room. Surely, surely our room's ready. It's not even a weekend. Okay.

So you're going to showing up at a hotel on a Tuesday and they maybe. It's noon, let's say. Maybe they told you in some email what time checking is, but nobody filed that information away. Four everywhere, but come on, it's Tuesday. All right, all right. That room's got to be ready, right? What time do you get there? We get there on noon.

They say, okay, okay. Your room's not ready. It's not ready till noon. Go down to the pool. Yeah. They knew me too, Mr. Pope. So they know me too. Oh, okay.

You'd think you can find the room for the Pope. Yeah. On a Tuesday. On a Tuesday. You would think. But okay, I'll go down to the pool. Just like this. You're going to kill four hours poolside.

Maybe to bring your... Look at me. Yeah, that's... Do I look like I'm going to be comfortable by a pool? Not really. No. They're like, oh, maybe you can take his hat off. Once you get this goddamn thing on, it's hard to take on and off.

Is that really? Yes. Oh, it's all pinned in there and stuff. It's like, it's all pinned in there. Okay, okay. You're wearing the wig cap? It's like tight jeans. Oh, yeah, yeah.

You're pinned in. You get in the bathtub. Those are on for the rest of the night. I see. Right? Okay. So we go down to the pool. Yeah.

You have to rent chairs at the pool. Get out of here. Where is the place called? Is it a chain? It's named up to the goddamn Basel Lake. So you're staying at the Bass Lake Resort in Bass Lake Fresno and you got to rent a fucking chair by the pool? I bet my fucking room's ready, don't you? Oh, now I know.

Now you see what happened. I got to buy a drink. I got to rent a chair. Yeah. You see what's happening? I see you exactly. I have to get to rent a towel. You have to pay a waiting tax.

I find that it's very untrustworthy for a place advertising a lake to have a pool. If they are saying the lake is not good enough to swim in. Yeah, that's right. That's a good point. Good point. Or at least stock the goddamn pool filled with fucking bass. Can a baths? Indiana Jones pitch

We just fucking can jump into it And grab one Will a bass be okay In a chlorinated pool? No. No? Okay. So how long were you there

And how much no bass did you catch? You want to know how long I was there? Okay. Fucking four hours tops. Or then you left back? We got in the Popmobile We said let's get that out of here And get back to L.A.

Wow. Wow. I wasn't putting up with that bullshit. I've never, I've never bailed on a vacation in my life. Never one time. That's amazing. Pope Emeritus, with whom were you traveling? Uh-oh.

Just, let's see here. Kanye West. Okay. Okay. He's also, he's dressed fully, he has, I don't know how to describe what he dresses it now. It's like a full ninja, except for a ninja's like to see. He has like a fencing mask over his head.

Nighttime mosquito netting. Yes. Nighttime beekeeper outfit. That's better description. Nighttime beekeeper outfit. Right. You see that? Oh, Kanye West.

Oh, the Pope. Your room's not ready. Yeah. Right. These guys are... Go wait by the poor. You just want to get Kanye's money. The Pope's money.

Yeah. Okay. So nobody ever go to Bass Lake again. You're saying it's a gold digger? Yes, exactly. That's what you're saying. Zero bath backpacks. Didn't like anything about it.

No bass. Okay. Bass Lake, you blew it with the Pope. He will never come back. Zero backpacks. That's really as few as you can get it without getting into negative integers. Okay.

HR Giga, Team Giga. Where have you been? I want to go somewhere exotic for my tastes, for my age group and demographic. I go to the Cabazon Outlet Mall. And you're going to love this, buddy. They got a Bass Outlet Store there. I love the Bass Outlet Store.

You should have come there because they don't have fish, but they've got Bas Rijian shoes. They've got Athleisure. This is stuff that we teens are really into. And those are giant stores, too. People need to understand, much bigger than in Walmart. So you've been there? Oh, yeah. They have actual lakes inside some of these.

In the stores? Inside of some of these stores. It's true. I have Hutenannies every Sunday for the come on down and jam. So I go there, spend most of the day there, go to the Lock Crusade store, get the Dutch oven, teens,

go stay at Casino Morongo. Oh, is that in there in the Cabazon? Yes, they're having great entertainment cameos, literally coming up, playing a show there, and so is the Hollywood medium doing a big show there. Wait a minute, cameo from the Diet Coke commercial, Cherry Coke?

Word up. It's Jerry Coke. Yeah. Oh, my God. That guy? Big teen draw. Wow. Larry Blackman.

Larry Blackman. That's his name? We're in the codpiece. Oh, yeah, the codpiece. Yeah. Wow. You know Camio's real name? Marshall Tucker Band.

Louis Angel. El Flaco, Russell Dickerson, Ted Gonzalez, and Donchetto. You had me at Marshall Tucker Band. Yeah. Wait, do you mean the Ted Gonzalez? The huh? So let me tell you a couple of the stores here You had me at Hollywood Medium

And I want to hear more I might be about to lose you Because they have Auntie Anns pretzels there Auntie Anns pretzels That's a bullshit pretzel Yeah Why don't they have the Schmeiderberg pretz At the Carbazon outlet?

I don't know but they got Attillies August if you were to recommend Any pretzel that was not a Schmeidelberg Is there one that you could confidently recommend Oh my God So you're talking about a hypothetical world where there's no Schmeiderberg pretzels.

Exactly. And you had to get some other pretzels? It's a real what if, like what to the watcher would present. Okay, I'll tell you this. I shouldn't say this, but there was a salt inspector at Schmeiderberg pretzels who apprenticed under me for years and years. And then he has recently gone to the rolled gold company. So this is at least a company where they have a highly trained and skilled salt inspector.

So you could, maybe if you had to, get a roll gold. How do you feel about Snyders of Hanover? Oh, the fuck damn Snyders. Fuck that guy and the whole thing and fuck Hanover? But what about the pretzel that combined all those pretzels into twingling, into mingling, like a guy go painting into one pretzel? Like a basilisco or basilisk, but an uro burros of pretzel brands where one begins where the, other ends and neither starts where the other bends. You're talking about a sobretto-balanced break of pretzels?

Yes. Well, you would put together, roll gold. Smeiderberg. Hey, can Wetzels get in on this game? Oh. Please. What is the substance on a Wetzel pretzel? Anybody know?

What makes it wet? Same thing on the briosh bunman. If you have to ask, if you know, you know, teen giger. It's maybe it's butter, but it doesn't behave like butter. You know what I mean? It doesn't become butter. Do you remember those commercials? It seems smarter than butter.

What? I can't believe it's not butter. It doesn't behave like butter. That's how it was translated into German. Of course I remember. I can't believe that it doesn't behave as well. I can't believe that it doesn't behave like butter. He was Misfiabian was misbehaving butter.

You would see Fabio and that his voice would be dubbed, of course, by the German Fabio. Fabius. Fabius. Fabius. And he would say, he would say, I can't, it doesn't behave like butter. And then they would look at the camera and then slowly, slowly the light would fade. Oh.

They were haunting commercials. That is very haunting. That's terrifying. Do you remember the time the German Fabio was on a roller coaster and he attacked a bird? Yes, he jumped out of the car. And goose was flying by. He jumped out and hit it in the face. Yeah, he attacked it.

He punched it in the face. He bloodied up the face of that bird. Oh. That's the German, Fabio. Don't take no shit. Okay. So I went and stayed at Morongo to the slot machines. Oh, yeah.

The whole new world of slot machines since the last time I come around. Like what? Do you have themes? Themes have got sex in the city, James Bond, true detective night country. Really? In the name of it? Well, I don't know. I think so.

It's going to be a one disappointing ride. It really is. You cannot win. Long ride that never ends. You will give it your time and you will give it your money and it will not pay off. The shot the slot machine that feels like you're playing a slot machine. And the references, a lot of other first seasons of slot machines, but doesn't give you any real symbology or substance, yeah.

A slot machine that acts like it's a sequel to Silence of the Lambs, but it's not apparently. Oh, that really brought me down, man. I was waiting for the moment when she was to say, and really I'm Starlings. But it never comes. Spoilers. Well, okay, so, yes, anything else to tell us about Marongo and Carbazans?

Not the thing. I covered everything. Wow. I'm surprised they're accident. That's one thing about German guests. We are efficient. Efficient. Yeah, if anything, I went a little overtime.

I would see back to you. Yeah, maybe you did. Well, listen, I got to. I'll tell you about my destination. I wrote a little something up this time. So I have been my travel destination. It often tops the list of most depressing

cities in the world, but it didn't bring me down. I'm talking about the most northerly city in the world, the Russian mining town of Norilsk. Anybody ever been there? It's fantastic. It's on my bucket list. It's got to be. Is it like Ennis, Alaska, where I

watch it and I'm like, why would anyone fucking live here? Very similar, yes. It sits on the biggest... It's close to the ghost veil. It is on the biggest nickel-copper palladium deposits on the planet. And so for decades, the Russians

used prisoners from a nearby gulag to extract the minerals, and only 18,000 of them died doing it. What's a good fortune that there was a gulag nearby? They really, really won. How else would we have pennies today? That's right.

occasionally in the warmer months one of the bodies of the old gulag people will fall out. These days the nickel plant is owned by one of President Putin's best friends, so the workers are well treated. Do they mind dimes? No, they mind only the nickels really. Do they mind their peas and cues? And they smelt them.

Do they mind if I do? I don't mind if you do. Getting to No Riltsky is a delightful challenge. There is no road that goes There. It's a closed city. You need special permission from the Russian government to visit. So plan ahead. Even the city is like, people should not live here.

I wouldn't be a city if I didn't have to be here. Yeah. Once you're in Norilsk, the air tastes of nickel. Taste the air. There's a treat. Do you have to pay for it or it's just gratis? Why go to the mines? Wow.

Swoop the air. It sounds like they didn't need to do much mining if the air tastes of nickel just pick it up off the ground. So how much is the air calculated to be worth? Like is it one little atom is a nickel? Because that could add up in the air there could be the most expensive air there is. Over the course of a lifetime in the real skill have breathed in 55 cents in nickel. That's it. That's all.

You don't breathe a lot. Well, no, it's the average life expectancy is 59 wonderful years. That's a, that's a, oh, Henry Twist, right there. Right there is what it is. Well, let's see. What else can I tell you about it? I sold my watch so you could breathe nickel. On the Big Rock Candy Mountain.

What a disappointment. I used all my nickels to buy a watch band. Well, sometimes without explanation, the nearby river. Hey, real quick. Sometimes I go under water with a pack of nickels and I can breathe. Why, really? Yeah. Don't fucking look at me.

Sometimes the river turns blood red They don't know why And they checked if it's actual blood From the dying breathers Maybe Also sometimes it snows red snow Look, there's no Every part of nature is saying

Get out of here I guess so But they're like no This is like the planet Well I tell you this There's no bad time to visit Norilsk But if you can You really should go toward the end

of the 45 days of continuous darkness. By then the entire population is enjoying a case of polar T3 syndrome, which results in comical forgetfulness, exciting mood swings, and various forms of adorable cognitive impairment. You will feel helpful. I give it five backpacks.

Wow. You're saying that people actually live there year round? Yes, 175,000 people live there year round. 175,000? I thought you were going to say, 300. Nope. They need all them people to mine and smelt. Oh, we do need AI. 175 minus 18,000 though. Isn't that the real number?

Is that adjusted for life inflation? Oh, don't know. Those people died a long time ago, though, I think, in the Gulag's times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we were up in the line in Purgatow and you twist around, sometimes you see heaven, sometimes you get a peek into hell. Yeah. The hell did not sound look that bad. It didn't look as bad as Noreilsk?

No. Well, that's a real good thing for the people of Noreilsk. They have no incentive to behave in a way that doesn't make them go to hell because it's better than where they live. He should be step up. They can do whatever they want. What did you do while you were there? While I was there. Go eat a dick, man.

He's a teen. I checked into the Norelsk hotel or I tried to. I got there about noontime. And they said your room is not ready. They told me to go wait by the Slag Lagoon. Go rent some nickels, buddy. Yeah. And they cost more than a nickel.

Let me tell you. No kidding. I had to rent a chair next to the Slag Lagoon. But I did. I didn't even think of leaving. So, yeah, it was really expensive. The room was not ready. They said four o'clock, but something I passed out.

And they didn't come looking for me. I think it was three days later that I finally got into that room. But so most of the time was spent in a kind of a, like, you know how when your lungs are full of metal? And it's... And believe me, I would know. Yeah. It takes the energy out of you. And so you just, I went to the local art gallery.

I went to the Gulag Museum. I just sort of took into sites. Yeah. Those local artists must be inspired at least. Yeah. The art is very disturbing. It's always... Oh, really?

Forty... I don't think so. I bet they make you look like a fucking wimp. Oh, give me a break. Oh, you should go check it out. I think you would like it. I challenge them to a weird art off anytime. Okay.

These people live in what you draw, my friend. That's true. All right, we got some questions from people on the Discord. We'll just do some quick questions, and then we'll say good boys. for this 10th anniversary show. What was the question I picked? Oh, best travel movie. Cannibal Run, Cannibal Run 2, or Speed Zone?

This comes from Jobless Shoe. Or is there an even better travel movie? I'm not familiar with Cannibal Run. It's the travelogue of some sort. Jamie Farr eats Roger Moore. On the Run. Yeah. No, I think he wrote Cannon Ball Run.

Cannonball. Forgive me. That's all right. Cannonball run is a race, right? It's going to be a car race, and they say, you have to go to this place, and the first one there gets all the monies, right?

Yeah. Cross country. It's a Hal Needham joint. I used to kind of rub elbows with Hal Needham and Bert Reynolds, Dom Deloise, Charles Nelson Riley, in the 70s and 80s. That's a wild crowd you ran with that time. We were a barrel of laughs.

Bert Convy. Bert Convey, jumping out of a plane and a motorcycle into a pool. These were good. heavy times. Wow. What was the prize? Do you remember in the cannonball?

A cannonball. One dollar. One dollar. It was. No. What do you mean? I don't know. Isn't it?

What am I thinking of where the prize is something really stupid? Trading places. Yes. That is what I'm thinking of. Wow. Nobody watches the last third of that movie. You can't. It's a case of course in Smoky and the Bandit.

Oh yeah, that's right. Because I'm trying to think like, okay, Like in the real world, what if somebody I knew says, okay, here, maybe you're starting in California, you're going to go to, I don't know what, Boston, something like that, and you have to be the first one there out of all of these people. What would have to be in the finish line to make me put aside all of the things of my life? Adrian Barbeau. The prize is Adrian Barbo?

Yeah. I don't want to own Adrian Barbo. Which is the upkeep alone. What would... A solo concert would... Billy Joel. Oh, that's pretty good. Yeah, just him,

you on the other side of piano. He's playing all your requests. Oh, my God, that would be... I drive cross country in a race for that. Absolutely. Down east of Alexa. Can you... No, uptown girls.

Yeah, that's what I'm gonna say. River of dreams. Can you opposite of request certain songs? Of course you can. You'd won the race. Yeah. Not a new one, please. But good for you.

What else is another question? Somebody ask, what's the longest road trip you've taken? I don't know. Anybody have an answer for that? You're kind of still on it. These are just number questions. Okay. One time I took this trip, it was a relatively short trip over a hill,

but I had to drag a steamboat over it, and it was, it added, let me tell you, it added a lot of time. Oh, that will add a lot of it. Did you account for that time in the original planning? I didn't. I told people. on the other side of the hill. Okay, be there in ten.

Oh, that's a myth. Fuck CGI, right, my man. Fuck it. That was that guy, Caroldo, right? Guys, take it easy. They tried to make a CGI of Grogu, the baby Yoda, and I called them cowards.

I said make it a puppet or GtFO. And they did, right? They listened to you. When I saw it, I wept with joy. It's true. You were right, I think. Yeah, that was a good. call.

Definitely. That grogous. So pretty little. Why do you say hello to him? Okay. I got maybe one more question here. What did I do that? Did you mean to say, thank you.

I did. What did you say instead? I said hello. Hello. Have you traveled? I said good day to you, sir. I said good day. Hostable Jostable says, what is the worst kind of animal to travel with?

Klaus Skinski. J. Humans. Yeah. South West. Oh, my God. It's the worst, man. Southwest, they've got to stop it.

The people who line up well before the sections are called. Where are you going? They couldn't make it any clearer that there are... You don't have to do it. Why would you stand? Why would you stand for so long? You don't have to.

I love the look on somebody's face when they make it all the way to the end and then they realize it's really all middle seats. That look of giving up on something other than a middle seat He's a wonderful look at the face. You take that first middle seat. Yeah, take the first one. Take that first middle seat and show the whole plane who's boss.

And then you jam your goddamn bag in somewhere. Put it behind you. You get in the second row, put your bag in the last row. You are A1, the early bird check-in. You march onto that plane. Put the bag in the last row and take the front row middle seat right away. So I don't get airline humor. Oh, really?

No. Well, that's the worst thing about Southwest is when they make the fucking jokes. I'll tell you it breaks my heart. It breaks my spirit. It breaks my heart. It breaks my spirit when they laugh at the jokes. That's what's the worst part. It's not the jokes.

It's the laughing at the jokes. This reminds me of Shark Tank when the people make a presentation and they do some jokes and then the sharks laugh at the jokes. It makes me angry and miserable. It makes you lose faith in the sharks. It makes me lose faith in all of the passengers on South West when they say, this is their flight to Denver. If you're not going to Denver, you better get out now.

I also do not support clapping for any kind of landing. Oh, really? Why not? That was my expectation. So do you not clap when you see... Did you do a loop-de-loop before we landed? No. When you see competent theater, you don't clap because that's what you expected. If they do it amazingly, like they were landing on an earthquake coming out of a storm.

Okay. Nice job. It's a fucking normal day. We just landed. You came in too fast. If you go to see. It was all scared and we're all appreciative that we're still alive. That just starts clapping.

So if you buy a ticket to cats on Broadway and they just do cats like the way you were expecting them to do cats, you're not going to applaud. They have to do especially challenging cats. I saw Wicked and it fucking sucked, my friend. Yeah, I'm not a fan. No, I love Wicked. I have the soundtrack, but they couldn't sing. What?

No one could sing in the whole cast. Is it like a high school production or something? No, it was Broadway. Broadway. Fucking $300 tickets, bitch. Oh, man. You can get your money back. I want at least one person who can sing.

I recently saw a terrible production, although I have nothing to gauge it against of Mamma Mia, the touring company. Wow, so that started as a movie. It started as an Saba song catalog. But first a movie and then they say let's know. First a band's repertoire, then a jukebox musical, then a movie, then a sequel. Oh. And now a threequel?

I believe a threequel is in the works. And you saw the touring company of the original Broadway's musical jukebox. Yes. And it was not good? Let me tell you something. Okay. Unless these people are at the absolute top of the game, theater-wise, it really calls into sharp focus the flimsyness of this premise.

Oh, I see what you mean. You got to have the best of the best for this play text-wise not to be garbage. I think that after they made the movie, they should have really called it a night on the live performance. Uh-huh, because you've got the metal streaks in there. It ain't going to get better. Exactly, Colin Firth. Oh, you're not going to be that.

Stelling Scarscard. Oh, he's one of the best Scarsguards there is. James Bond, Pierce Brosnan. Paris Brosnan. Paris Brosnan has seen there. Yeah. Amanda Seyfried. Okay.

Yeah. I have no argument with that. Okay. So listen, it's not a theater review show. We've really gone off the rail. Big time. Snacks and theater mostly today. What's that?

Snacks and theater? All right. We're not supposed to talk about a snacks or that theater. But look at this. We are just about ready to wrap up 10 years of the travel bog. And it's been a wonderful life-changing experience for me to travel and give backpacks. Does anybody have anything they want to plug is coming up. This Saturday, just a mere two days away.

There is an event happening in Los Angeles called Varietopia, which is a variety show. And it is also, there are some tickets left to see it. person, but it also will be live streaming to the world. 7pm Pacific time. Paulev Tompkins.com slash live is where you get all the ticket links. Oh, you like Paulette Tompkins,

don't you? Don't you like Paul F. Tompkins? I just like that website. But I remember he did a funny impression of you at a show and you said you liked it. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. It was a clip from the travel bug. How good it be? This doesn't make sense.

It doesn't. Anything to plug? Yes, I do a Broadway review show on Improfit Humans.com. Okay. Yes. Improfulhumans.com. Yes, I do. And April 8th, there's a full solar, total eclipse coming.

That is the end of the world. I learned that up in the line. Oh. So close everything you got going, experience your travel destinations. April 8th? April 8th. That's coming right up. That's coming right up.

Maybe I should have started the show with that. Maybe. Yeah, I don't know if we would have spent this hour doing this if I knew how limited the time was. Oh, you think it's all getting late from here on out? Yeah. And eating chocolates. Not watching you wait.

Never forget it now. Okay, anything to plug, Teen Geiger? My 21st birthday is April 9th. I'm doing a big party. Oh, no. What's wrong? Oh, the world will. Can you push it up to the seventh?

No, can't do, man. Can't do it. Not going to do it. Not going to. So. Like George Bush. Who, man? Who's, Danicawe's.

Who's George Bush? Who's George Bush, man? Wouldn't be prudent. I don't care. I don't care. Not going to do it. Not going to do it. No, read my lips.

So I'm going to have a big birthday party, 21. going to play drinking and I'll see you all there. You could come. Yeah. Where's this to be held? Have a TBA, buddy. Probably we're going to descend on City Walk at Universal. Oh, yeah.

You guys are going to tear that place to shreds. Go to Baba Gump. Yeah. Johnny Rockets. Do all Book of the Beppos. Have you been to the new chocolate restaurant at the Universal City Walk? No. I guess we'll go to the...

They got a sock shop, just all socks. Oh, yeah. Old socks. Oh, it's crazy. Old socks. Well, the only thing I want to say, of course, I was looking forward, as you know, to the three-year-long cruise. It ended up being canceled. So we're putting together a Go-Fund me to try and get the three-year-long cruise back up and running.

Did you sell your house like the other people on that cruise? I sold everything and I traveled to Istanbul and I waited and waited and waited and waited. It got canceled? Yeah, that got cancelled. Why? Right at the last minute. I forget why they said they got cancelled. Something to do with...

I think they didn't fill up the ship that they had and they tried to get a smaller one. Oh, that's right. They couldn't get a smaller one. So it was essentially lack of interest. They had not enough passengers for the full boat. For some reason, not enough people wanted to be on a cruise ship for three years straight. A three year cruise.

Doesn't make sense. But okay, all of us travel heads together will come up with the money to do it and we'll have a wonderful time three years together at sea. All right everybody. That's the Travel Bug 10 year anniversary. We'll see you next week and for 10 more years at least.

O'Feedersen! Good and talk. The Travel Bug is brought to you by Andy Daly with Matt Gawley. It was mixed and edited by Mark McCornville and executive produced by Andy Daly, Matt Gawley and Duhlman Shmeidaberg.