Bonanas for Bonanza - The Andy Daly Podcast Project Presents Extravaganza Octopod 2, Episode 3: Extravaganza: “With My Own Eyes: The First Pizza Hut”

Episode Date: September 19, 2026

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDalyHost Lawrence Ribbits looks back to 1958 and the grand opening of what would grow into an enduring international restaurant chain - Pizza Hut. His guests, Margaret Dewps, Ben Alterman and Dutch Swanson were there and they saw it... with their own eyes.Featuring: Lisa Gilroy, Mark McConville & Matt GourleyReleased on Patreon as Extravaganza #89Merch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Andy’s website: andydaly.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, Andy Daly here with another episode of Extravaganza, the comedy podcast grabbag series that Matt Gourley and I have been doing exclusively on my Patreon for the past few years. Now we're releasing a season, or Octopod, of eight of our favorite extravaganzas right here every Saturday. If you enjoy them and you want to hear all the extravaganzas, add free, subscribe at patreon.com slash Andy Daley. And now the Andy Daily podcast project presents Extravaganza Octopod One, episode three. With My Own Eyes, the first Pizza Hut, featuring Lisa Gilroy, Mark McConville, and Matt Gourley. Welcome to With My Own Eyes, a podcast brought to you by the American Historical Society in partnership with the Smithsonian Institution and Big Mamas and Papa's Pizzeria's world's biggest pizza slice. Order now for a chance to win a trip to Italy. I'm Lawrence Ribbitts.

Each week, we talk to people who saw important events in American history with their own eyes. My guests today were some of the very first customers at the very first Pizza Hut Pizza Restaurant on its first day in business, May 31st, 1958, in Wichita, Kansas. The popular chain currently has over 20,000 locations worldwide, but it started in a small red brick building, where two brothers turned a $600 loan into a very successful venture. My guests were there. Please welcome Margaret Dupes, Ben Alterman, and Dutch Swanson. I think that intro was a little too long, Lawrence.

It was a little long. Don't you think we didn't need to hear about the loan? Hold on, let me put my dentures in. My armpits. I'm going to do a little trick. That's funny. It's pretty good. It looks like your armpit has a tooth and teeth in there.

It does. And suddenly your breath smells better. I've been brushing my teeth of deodorant. Not a bad idea. Lawrence, do you have dentures or are those your real teeth? These are my real teeth, yeah. Good. Take care of them, Lawrence.

Take care of them, please. Love them. It goes by fast. You'll miss them when they're gone. Well, there's nothing better than using these teeth to take a big bite of some Pizza Hut pizza. I've got two teeth left, the rest of dentures. But, boy, I love those two that are left. Boy, I love them.

I talk to speak to them. I got the veneers where they piled my piggles down to little pegs, and then the veneers fed off, so now I'm just left with a bunch of pegs. Hold on. Piddled your pickles down to a bunch of pegs. That's just beautiful. Why don't you do poetry like that, Ron? Well, this is a history podcast and not a poetry podcast.

Ron, try a poem. My name is Lawrence. Lawrence Ribbon. Don't be a coward, Ron. Try a poem. Just come up with a poem. It has to rhyme. And say something about the human condition. And it should be a metaphor for

an animal. And make sure it's an Ambentameter. And please allow it to invoke nature. And make it by Maya Angelou. Uh, if... And it's an original as well. If you think I'm a pizza nut, today we're talking about pizza hut. Oh, perfect.

Okay. That was, it did everything, didn't it? That was a haiku. It had everything. Yes, it was. It had everything you could ever want. That was wonderful. Why is so hung up on pizza?

Well, that's the topic of today's. What are you hungry? What is he hungry? We can get you some food. Yeah, Joey can. The three of you. You know what? I was at, you're not going to believe this.

This is true. I was at the very first. You know, Pizza Hut? Sure, I was at the first one. I was at the very first Pizza Hut. I was at the very first Pizza Hut on its opening day. Let's talk about that today. Okay, fine.

It was May 1st, 1958. May 31st, I think. No, you've got it. Yes, my research. I couldn't read my research. It was the end of May. I remember, I'll never forget it. What was it like in May of 1958?

Well, it was warm because it was, summer was coming and it was the end of spring. The weather was warm, but the war was cold. We was in the middle of a cold, you know about the cold war, Lauren? I'm aware of the Cold War, yes. Okay. Isn't it ironic to have a cold war on a warm summer day?

I suppose it is. Again, this is not a poetry show. That is beautiful. She can't help it. I can't help it. She's art. She's beautiful. She's her body's a wonderland.

Exactly. My body's a wonderland. Margaret, do you have a background in poetry? Well, of course I do. We all do. We're all from the spirit of God, aren't we? Oh, here we go. Here we go.

In the beginning, God said, let there be light. Then he created the people. And the people were walking around on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Of course. I said, hold it right there. It's Sunday. Let's take a break. Here we go.

Act 2, book 2. Philosophically is number 1. Oh, don't get me started. I'll accidentally say the whole Bible. God spoke to me one time, do you know? What do he say? What do he say? He told me to build a boat.

Oh, really? Yep. Has you been any experience building a boat previously? Never in my life. Well, how did it go? Well, he didn't say how big it needed to be. I made it out of popsicle sticks. It was fine.

I did it over a week. God spoke to me one time. Yeah? Told me to rob a bank. You're kidding me? No, I'm not kidding. Did you do it? No, I'm not religious.

Oh. Two brothers opened the first... I verged in a yellow wood. And I took the brother most attractive and it made all the difference. And it was only one set of footprints. Because I was carrying that brother because you see I was having at him. And the doctor was a woman. This all happened at the Pizza Hut location in Wichita, Kansas.

What are you talking about? It's a metaphor for suicide. Footprints is. Once again, this is a history podcast called With My Own Eyes, where I interview people who are at historic events, and they saw them with their own eyes. And the three of you saw this Pizza Hut opening. Oh, I was there on the first day. I was there on the very first day. When they opened the Pizza Hut in Wichita, Kansas, I'll never forget it.

Wichita? Huh? Wichita. The Maine-a-T-T-A-T-A or that-A-T-A? No, the main atah in Kansas, the one everybody knows. You're thinking of what a tar. Oh, no, I'm thinking of howatah, when a tar, and whoata, the five taas. Third base.

This is not a journalism podcast. This is a history podcast. Well, those are more similar, I guess. Journalism has an element of history, if you think about it. We're going to get the who, what, where, why, when of the Pizza Hut business. Well, the who is you three. Who at all, Wata, Wata, Wanita, Wai,ta, why, ta. Why did you go to the opening of the Pizza Hut restaurant?

The Wyattaw of it, if you will. The Wyattaw of it are. I was there for reconnaissance. I had a business myself down the street. Yes, I did. I went there to see one of these guys up to. What was your business? Calzone Mansion.

Wow. I was sure people were going to. To this day, I don't understand why people don't like calzone's more than pizza. It's a, when you get a piece of pizza, you go fold it, don't you? It doesn't that the first thing you do? you get a piece of pizza and you take it and you're folded, don't you? Isn't that the first thing you do with a piece of pizza? You folded, don't you?

You folded right over, don't you? As soon as they handed it to you, they gave it to you on a paper, plate, what have you? First thing you do, you're folded, don't you? Mr. Alton, let's say I handed you a slice of pizza. Thank you very much. Now, what would you do with that pizza? Well, the first thing I would do, you fold it, don't you? You fold it right over, don't you?

Don't you? it. Am I wrong? You fold it right over. You certainly can fold it. Of course you do. Just like this. Look at my hands. Yeah, I'm looking. You folded. What do you do with deep dish pizza pizza because I was doing reconnaissance there too? I had a business up the, up the street called Flatbread Flat. Flatbread flat? Yeah. What kind of a business was that? It was a pizza place. Huh? And how was it different from the pizza we know? Yes, what's the first thing you do when you get a flat bread? There's a question. Well, you don't fold it. You're all.

it. Okay. You roll it, don't you? Well, that's a cinnamon bun. Not if it isn't sweet, hon, bun. You roll it. Don't you roll it? What do you do?

The first thing you get, where you roll it. You just roll it. So it's no longer flat. And you roll it? It's still flat. It's still flat once you roll it. Any paper that you roll up is still flat in its essence.

So you're saying it's like you put the sauce and the cheese on a flat. kind of a bread and then you roll it up into like a Swedish roll sausage roll sausage Swiss roll. It's like a canoli. And then you eat it like that. Even that I would like better than the pizza. But a calzone is like a folded piece of pizza. This is my point. It's what people want.

Now I had gone to do some research of my own. Because at that time I had a little restaurant called Big Mama's Little Dipping Big Pizza Dips, dip sauce samboree. Because when you get a piece of pizza, the first thing you do is you dip it, don't you? Don't you find it just a little bit of ranch, something like that, and you give it a dip, don't you? Take the pizza in your hand and you want to dip it in some cool

ranch or something like that immediately. That does sound. Same as you would, for a nacho, something like that. The first thing you want to do is dip it in salsa, right? Don't you just want to dip it in salsa, some sour cream and at first blush? Don't you want to take a piece of pizza and dip it right away, don't you? I'm Lawrence Ribitz.

What's the first thing you do when you have, when you have you a piece of pizza, you dip it, don't you? Well, I suppose that. Don't you, Ron. Don't you fold it? Don't you fold it? Don't you roll it? Don't you dip it?

Girl, don't you want me? Well, I do, and I think most people would. So the three of you had competing pizza businesses. That's right. We're all there on Pizza Row. And these two brothers came along and opened up Pizza Hut, named because that's the only thing they could think to fit on the sign. The sign could only fit eight letters, and pizza had to be on the sign, so they had three

remaining letters. That's what my research shows. Why didn't they call it Pizza HQ and save a spot? Yeah. Well, maybe things were going well for them at the time. They had $600 in their pocket, which was a loan from their mother that they used to open the pizza. What about pizza yes?

Yeah. Or yes, pizza. Or pizza abs. Pizza now. Yeah. That would have done it. Well, perhaps had you befriended these brothers back then, you would have been able to pitch some of these ideas to them.

I would have told them. You know what else has eight letters? Calzone. And you got, and you can put an exclamation mark on there. You've got an extra spot. Call zone and serve Calzone. I would have told him, you know what else has eight letters? Flat bruh.

I would have said, you know what else has eight letters? Go to hell, exclamation. There we go. Well, it seems the food business was a rivalry of sorts back then. Oh, it sure was in Wichita, and it came to blows a lot of the time. These were the great pizza wars in 1958, and we lost a lot of good people, didn't we? But somehow the three of you remain friends to the scale. Well, we met each other that day at the restaurant, and we sat at a table, didn't we?

And what's the first thing you do when you sit at a table? Talk your friends, don't you? Don't you start talking to your friends about your ideas? You do, don't you? You sit down, don't you? And then you start talking to your friends. Yes, you pull up a chair and you sit down. And you talk to your friends, don't you?

Yeah, yes. And then you make a tripartite pact, don't you? Yes, you decide to merge all your restaurant after you, don't you? Yeah, you do, don't you? Lawrence, don't you? I feel like we're sort of doing a version of that right now. What happened to Ron? Who?

Huh? There's never been a Ron on this show. I miss Ron. I do, too. He was a good host of this. He was a good Christian man. He was. Could you describe Ron?

Oh, glasses. He had teeth. Yeah. He was a poet. He was a poet. Hosted a podcast. Wouldn't shut up about pizza. You and him could have been brothers by the look of you.

He might be me. But my name is Lawrence Ribbitts. Nice try, Lawrence. You'd be lucky to be Ron. Is this a fight club scenario? Ribbitts is a frog's name. Yeah. It's the sound of frog makes.

I know it's sort of an unfortunate last name. and I was teased mercilessly. What kind of teaching? Here comes frog boy. Something like that. Rosie the ribbiter? What? I was just about to say that.

It was right out of my mouth. I was going like that. Riveter, ribeter. I see. You know, if you explain it, it's not funny. Here comes frog boy. I miss Ron. Ron would have never done such a thing.

No. Yeah. Anyway, so we merged our restaurant ideas, and then we made the fold roll and dip. That's right. But everyone thought it was a carpet store. Here's what. Okay.

First of all, to transfer a carpet from the shop to the house, you got to roll it up and put it in a van. Of course, we know that. That's one of them down. Don't you? No work. It's already soft. Of course. Then, if you're going to install it, you've got a fold part of it while you put the tax down, right, Ron?

Of course. Okay, then you unfold it, right? Yes. And then after you do all your work, you dip. No, you skinny dip with your friend. Oh, I thought you'd dip out like you leave. No, what you do is you always put in an ocean blue carpet. You're all around naked in your new client's house and they come home to find you.

And it's a little something extra for them. But it always ends the same. They come home and they go, I didn't want ocean blue. And we would say, you got ocean blue. To be clear, this is what people thought your business was. But it actually wasn't that. No, it was. It was that.

It was both. I thought you combined three pizza restaurants. Well, we also served pizza. What about this do you not understand? It was a carpet business and we served pizza. Then you could fold and roll and dip. Don't you get it? Don't you get it?

Don't you? Don't you? Don't you? And the carpets were rolled, folded, and then dipped into because they were all ocean blue and we took off our clothes. You don't need to explain it to him. Okay, good. It explains itself. It explains itself.

It was a hell of a business. And you could always tell. whether somebody was coming in for one of the fold, rolled, and dipped pizzas, or a carpet. As soon as they walked in the door, you could tell. And further, you could tell whether they're in for a roll, a fold, or a dip. That's right. You know what I mean? Tell me some more about the Hootitas of it all.

What were the people in line waiting to try the Pizza Hut restaurant talking about that day? Well, in those days, no one had heard of pizza. It was brand new. They didn't know what it was. The town was like Babylon. We all spoke different languages. And Hootita was a product on the menu. It was a type of hooch.

It was like a sasperilla but with some fire water in it. And the Hootita people would come down from the hills and drink some of the hooch, and we'd all get good and drunk. And then, you know, regardless of whether we were taking payment, we'd all end up rolling around naked on an ocean blue carpet. That's how it was in Wichita those days. Have you ever dipped a carpet in ranch dressing? It comes out.

Not intentionally. I don't think I maybe have spilled some ranch dressing on a carpet. It's not the same as dipping it. Spilling is not dipping. No, it really isn't. It's not called a rolled full and spill. Oh, that's not a bad idea. Rolled fold and spill.

Hey, not a bad idea. Not at all. I can get a $600. Were the people excited about the pizza at Pizza Hut? Well, of course, many people had never had cheese before. That's right. They'd had pizza, but not cheese. And no one.

I didn't know a single person in those days would have a dried sauce. And don't get us started on crust. Before this day, crust was just for the outside of the earth. And before this, pepperoni was just something you called your little hello. Within six months, the brothers, the Carney brothers opened a second location there in Wichita. What message did that send to the pizza community in Wichita, Kansas? And before that, marinerra was a woman's name. I dated a marinera.

I know you did. I did too, and it wasn't a different one. I know. We dated the same marinera. Yeah. She was hot to trot. Boy, she was a foxy divorcee over and over again, and she would come over and just...

She was bright red. Yeah, she was. She was. And that's not just her hair. She had bright red skinned. Yes. She died young. Very young.

Yeah. Yeah. What a ride. What was you? your question. A second location opened within six months. Did it? Meaning, telling me a historian that the first

location must have been a smashing success. Yes, it was, yes. Yeah, they were doing well. Yeah. As soon as people figured out, you know, they tried it and they says, this is what pizza is, it's unbelievable. I would like to have some more. I would like to have some more. Maybe at a later date. Yeah, but I

don't like this location. So they had to open enough. That was the problem. People liked the product, but not the building. They were disgusted by the location. That's the thing they don't tell you is what you read is, oh, they open a new location. They don't tell you they close the other one down. Each time they open a new one, they close the old one down. It was like Brigadoon every day.

It'd pop up somewhere else this hut. According to my read, there's only one pizza hut. That's right. According to my research by 1963, there were 24 locations around. Let me ask you this, Ron. Have you ever been in two pizza huts at once? No. It's impossible.

It's impossible. By the time you get to the second one, the last one is closed. You can't get one. by her. You're not swift enough. I'm Lawrence Ribbitts. Who? There have been 20,000 pizza huts. But there's only ever one at a time.

I think the current one is in Dubai. Well, good luck trying to get there. I've never been to Dubai. The ironic thing about a pizza hut is you try to get to Dubai to have a slice. And by the time you land there, one's opened up a couple blocks for your house. That's right. And the one in Dubai is closed. Dubai bye. Exactly.

Chocolate. Have you tried that Dubai chocolate? What's so special about it? What is it longing about? Dubai chocolate. It's got gold flecks in it. What's so special about it? Gold flex in it.

Oh, I see. I'm not going to eat gold flecks in my chocolate. I'll have it in my peanut butter, but not in my chocolate. Well, you got chocolate in my gold flex. You got gold flex in my... By 1971, Pizza Hut had more locations in higher sales than any of its competitors, and so they branched out into other foods. Like what?

Well, they open... No, they never went to... I feel like carpet maybe complicates a restaurant experience for a diner. No, it doesn't. Our second location was called carpet munchers to imply that it's carpet and also a restaurant. And despite the name, that was the one place we didn't get up to anything untoward. It was a sacred space. It was a church on the weekends.

It was the writer was. We got a lot of gals. Almost all our customers were gals at carpet munches. That's true. It was interesting. Then we opened another place called the bearded clad. But it was just seafood and that place you could get loose. It was a pet store as well.

Yes, it was. Some clams have beards, you know. They do. It's true, the lumberjack one. Certainly. What, Ron? Say something. It's Lawrence.

In the early 1970s, Pizza Hut opened several other chains, including the Mexican fast food eatery Taco Kid, hamburger restaurant next door, steakhouse, flaming steer, and barbecue restaurant, Sutfans. Let's take these one by one.

Was it a kid who was a taco or a taco who just simply had a parent? I don't understand. It was a Taco Bell that had one less letter for signage. That's right. It has the same number of letters as Pizza Hut, doesn't it? No. Okay. It does it.

Same sign then. Same sign. Likely. It's the same as Pisa Hut. Yes. Just in the same way that Pizza Hut implies a hut where pizza is being served. this was a kid that tacos were being served. So the tacos came out of the kid?

Yeah, I think so. No, and that, the Taco Kid franchise closed by the end of the 1970s. Everybody wants to take down the Taco Kid. You know what I mean? They come for him. Butch Cassidy and the Taco Kid. Next, of course, was hamburger restaurant next door.

Wait, what? What was it next door, too? This is a problem, right? Location, location, location, location. Location? Marcia, Marsha, Marcia. Marinera? You can't call your restaurant next door if you're not next door to it.

Well, wait a minute, I don't understand. The restaurant was next door to what? I don't know. And that's the problem. Maybe it was next door to itself. Third base. Exactly. Next door is next door to next door.

They opened a steakhouse called Flaming Steer. Oh, I just picture a poor steer being set on fire and running across the planes. They burn him before they shoot him. It's terrible. The old burn, shoot, and eat. Oh, that's a new idea. Like a full roll and dip. That's right.

They tried to copy us. Burn shoot and eat. And then dip. The barbecue restaurant, Sutfins. S-U-T-P-H-E-N-A-Postroph. Wait a minute. How many bees? S-U-T-P-H?

S-U-T-P-H-E-N-A-P-S. Sutfins. I don't like that name either. Did you know a Sutfin when you lived in Wichita, Kansas on Pizza Row? Well, uh, we did. no marinerosotvin. Yes, Marinares Sutton. And she was always barbecuing out there in the yard.

She was a very big barbecue. I guess maybe that's why they named that. Hey, hey, relax. You're getting worked up because she did die young. She died very young. I wonder if it's the same person. Well, part of the reason she was bright red was the barbecue. She was always falling into the smoker.

And she would be smoked for hours at a time. Yeah. And then by the time somebody came along and pulled her out of there, but she smelled fantastic. Ron, can I tell you a secret? Who? I don't want the boys to hear it. I don't want to hurt their feelings.

Margaret? Lads, take out your earwigs if you can. For sure. We use in-ear monitors just like rock bands here. I never told the lads this, but Marinera was just a little piece of barbecue coal with a wig on her. They all had sex with her, and they think she died young in the fire,

but she was always just a little piece of cold. They had a lot of sex with a... She was a piece of coal. Yes. How did they not hurt themselves? They did. That's why all of their penises are all shriveled, half burnt up. I didn't need to know that part of it.

Well. Hey, Altiman, this is unrelated. I was at a beach bonfire the other day, and I saw Marinera in the fire. You're kidding me. You're not weird. I must be having hallucinations. Unbelievable. I thought she died.

She didn't have any hair, but it was definitely her. Really? Yes, of course it was. Did you pull her out of there? Oh, boy, did I? Oh, really? And then I porked her. Did you ever have, we never discussed this, don't.

Did you ever feel any burning sensation after after evenings? After, I'll do you one better, during, even before, like within a certain vicinity. She was filthy. She was. Oh, man, she had every SDD in the book. She wrote the book. You're listening to With Your Own Eyes with your host, Lawrence Ribbitts. That's me.

Pizza Hut's lasting impact. has seen many products come through, including Mr. Alterman, the P-Zone. P-A-Postrophysone. You're kidding me. I went to the... I got banished to the P-Zone one time. You've been to the P-Zone? Oh, boy.

I was mayor of P-Zone for quite a while. I see here now it's called the P-Zone. Oh. Oh, the P-Zone. That's different. I can't believe it. I was the first person to bring Cal Zones to Wichita, Kansas. That's true.

They should give me credit. They should call it the Ben-Bern. An altersman-posone. What should they call it? A ben-altern-per-sion. Do they have to say it like that? Yeah, I think so. You go up your order, you through the drive-thru.

I'll have a small pepperoni pie and a banalum-oosum-posu. I'm sorry I didn't catch that. A Jerry Lewis look alike. What? Someone's playing a wet recorder. Did the roll, rolled it, folded, dip it? Is that the name of your restaurant that you... Smack it up, flip it, rub it down, no, no.

Yeah, you got it right. Did it have a mascot? Because Pizza Hut, of course, had a mascot for a while. Oh, they did, huh? Of course, we had a mascot. Yes, of course, we had a mascot. Who wouldn't have a mascot? Could you describe the mascot?

It was a little red coal with a wig on it. Kids loved it, and so did the dads. You better believe it. Well, I wonder how. that mascot would stack up against Pizza Pete the stereotypical Italian chef mascot of Pizza Hut. You turn me on. No. Of course, the very Italian name, Pete.

Does he have a big silly mustache? Yes. A big silly mustache? A big silly mustache? I don't know that it's a silly mustache or he does have a big mustache. Uh-huh. At what point does a mustache get silly? Well, the bigger it gets, the sillier it catch, in my opinion.

But there must be a threshold or the point of no retuner. The point of no retune. Yes, of course it's a point of no retuned. Naturally, we all reach it someday. Exactly. If you keep growing out your mustache, it gets silly. And then if you keep growing it out, it becomes deadly serious. And if you don't grow it out at all, it's also a problem.

Oh, it's a serious problem. A mustache that's too small is also quite evocative. Yes. That was an interesting chapter of Michael Jordan's life when he had the Charlie Chaplin mustache. Oh, you're doing it. of kindness. You say Hitler, you say Charlie Chaplin. Let's call the whole thing off.

Okay. I called it the space jam. That's where it stores, extra space jam when he was eating his peepie and jellies. What sort of jam do you suppose they have up there in space? You know what I mean? The point of loony tunes. What? The point of loony tune.

Yeah. I'm saying it's got to be a freeze-dried jam. Right, right. What kind of jam lends itself? for he's trying the most. Jello. Jello jam. I always have jello on my toast in the mornings.

Do you now? Yes. Jello, not jelly. I have pink lemonade jello on my toast. You know they make that out of horses' hooves. And what's the first thing you do when you get it? You fold it, don't you? Don't you fold it?

As soon as you roll it, don't you? When you put jello on a piece of toast? Don't you fold it? But don't you dip it first? You might dip it. You might dip it. You fold it, then you roll it, don't you? Don't you?

Dip it. Well, don't you roll it? You're rolling. You're rolling, don't you? Don't you? Isn't that the first thing? Yeah. In your coffee, don't you?

Ron. Huh? Stay with us. Act like you're at your job, making a living right now. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ was one type of pizza we made. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ.

Yes, Jesus Christ. Jesus crushed. The goddamn Catholics tried to drive us out of town. We was just trying to have a little bit of fun. Could you describe the meal? Yes, Jesus Christ. It had Poparoni and Mother Mariner. And the Marinerra was the blood of Christ, you see.

Of course. That was it. We had each pie consecrated by a drunken priest. It was consecrated. It was consecrated. You were eating the blood in the body of the guy. Was there a lot of cheese on it? Because that's the first word.

Not a lick of cheese. No, no. No, it was just there in the name. On the Jesus Christ. There's a great cheese shortage of 19. 78. Yeah, the cows took off. Yep, they did.

They unionized that year. Probably scared of the flaming steer. I think it may have been that. Maybe that's why they went on strike. That was the year the cows unionized. That's right. Yeah. Yeah.

That was a real problem. And it's no coincidence. That was the year that Johnny Hoffa went going gone. Not Jimmy. Johnny Hoffa. Johnny Hoffa. His younger friend. That's right.

Pizza Hut, of course. Pioneered cheese in the crust of a pizza. And weenies too. That is true. They put weenies. Remember when they put weenies in the crust? In the crust of the pie. Are you talking about the Pizza Hut restaurant?

Are you talking about these two gentlemen here? Both. Am I never not talking about any of them or either of them? It is hard to know sometimes. You got you. It's quite obvious that you get the idea for putting weenies in the crush by putting your weenie in the crust. Exactly. That doesn't happen by accident.

Of course not. Did you think the Carney brothers were having sexual relations with the Pizza Hut Pizza? Absolutely. Who wouldn't? You got a big ball of dough. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? What are you going to do?

What are you going to do? What are you going to do? You're going to fuck it, don't you? You're going to fuck it, don't you? Don't you fuck it? You've ever seen American Pizza Pie? I thought your hand was on his knee. Oh, I thought it was, too.

My, but you've got strange. American Pizza Pie, though. The. The culinary dish, the food? Oh, no, the movie with Jason Biggs. No, I'm not familiar. Stiffless mom. God.

What does this have to do with pizza? He drank a glass of juice. That's what? That's what. That's what it has to do with the Pizza Hut restaurant franchise. What do you do when you have a glass of jizz, Lauren? You drink it, don't you? Don't you drink it?

Don't you drink it? Come on. Don't you. Would you get it? I don't. I don't. Well, you drink it. I don't want to drink a glassy jizz. It would be rude.

It would be rude not to, wouldn't it? I don't want to drink jizz. You don't? No. What do you do with it then? Drink it, don't you? I say no, thank you. Don't you just drink it?

You say no thank you? I don't want it. I don't know where you come from, Lawrence. This is very strange. Very hoity, tooty. The lasting impact of Pizza Hut. Yes. It was overtaken.

my Domino's pizza, though. There were dark times for Pizza Hut. That's where the end of the great pizza wars when Domino remains triumphant. Yes. Got that far away, look at his eyes. Oh, my thousand yards stare. I lost a lot of good men.

To the Domino's. Yeah. They would get you your pizza in 30 minutes or the delivery man would kill himself on your doorstep. That's right. And people said, either way, I want it. I'd take the pizza or the suicide on my front doorstep. That's an unfortunate byproduct of their promise, isn't it?

Sure. And Pizza Hut could never match that promptness in delivery. But they did. Pizza Hut said, as an answer to Domino's speedy delivery or we'll cure ourselves, Pizza Hut said, if we're on time, we'll kill your wife. And if we're not, you can kill ours. There was a lot of begruntled husbands. The husbands were extremely begruntled.

All of them were very begruntled. I do see that here in my research. Yes, that was a time in America of maximum begruntledment on the part of husbands. It's a fact of the matter. It was pervasive throughout American society. Well, they did their research. Have you ever heard of the retune of the begruntledment? Oh, it was a terrible now.

Oh, God, if only we could do. just be the three of us. They knew that the begruntlement would retune. And so. Don't you? They prepared for it, don't you? If you were going to retune, it would be begruntledment. Absolutely.

What's the first thing you're going to do if there's a retune? What is the actual word? Begruntled, don't you? Begruntled. Which word? Begruntled. Retuned. Who's a postman and what's he do?

The postman? The angry postman. Rings twice. Doesn't he? Rings twice or kills your life. If you're a postman and you ring once and nobody answers, you ring twice, don't you? I never had a postman ring my doorbell.

He just leaves the mail in the mail box. That's a good point. He doesn't even ring once. The movie's a lie. Gee whiz. Well, this is not a film podcast. It's a history podcast called With My Own Eyes, with me, Lawrence Ribbitts, your host.

You ever thought about doing a film podcast? I suppose we have done, we have done episodes of the podcast about the history of film. Oh, boy. Hoist by your own petards, much. Bluh.

What was your question? Well, it pertains to Pizza Hut. During the 1980s, Pizza Hut paired with education and started a program called Book It, or you could read five paperback books in one month and receive as a reward, a button,

five star stickers, and a personal pan pizza. This was for children, not for adults, by the way. Soft cover books? You couldn't read it. What's wrong with first printings? I suppose you could read five hardcover books, but I believe.

You suppose? What is this? We're just dealing in supposition now? They had to be paperbacks. I'm sorry to be gruntilyo. This is a journalistic podcast. This is Pizza Hut getting into bed with big paper. Yeah.

That's what it was. Yeah, big paper. That's why they didn't want the hard cover books. That's right. Even though... Hard covers are not... I know what you're going to say. They're not made out of paper.

They're cardboard. They're made out of paper. They're made. But the dust jackets are. Well, exactly. And that's more surface area. Well, exactly. Okay.

Well, exactly. Could it be a magazine? I don't believe so. How about a digest? I don't. That would tie in. Did you have to read it in front of the person at the Pizza Hut? I believe you had to read it at school and a teacher had to sign a document saying this child read five books.

That's the final humiliation for a teacher. A nice workaround was a choose-your-own-adventure book because those were over a certain amount of pages, but you never read all of the pages. I did. You wouldn't mean you couldn't? Of course you could. Yeah, we'd read them in order.

Page after page after page. It's like a Christopher Nolan film if you do it that way. That's right. It is. Yeah, you bet you. How about that Odysseus? Let's do a movie podcast. Yes, can't we do a movie podcast?

Perhaps our next episode, we'll study. The films of Christopher Nolan and the history of his triumphant filmmaking. But for now, I'd like to go back to that day in May. What day in May? May 31. May day? Try to remember the month of May. Beautiful.

The opening of the first Pizza Hut restaurant. You were there. Oh, my God. Congratulations. Thank you very much. It was so exciting. It was wonderful. Everybody was so excited.

and the pizza was delicious. What did you order? A pizza pie. What kind? Oh, look, what's it happened? Which flavors? All of it. You got the everything bag?

Sure. I said, throw every, whatever you got, put it on there. I'll eat it. I swear to God. In those days, I had a reputation for eating anything. Did you mean that? Was a marinara there? Sure, she was.

I got a bone to pick with her. Oh, really? That's what I heard. She left my little friend looking like a stubbed out cigar. Oh, yeah, well, that happened to all of us. but it was worth it. And the pizza, how did it taste? What?

Oh, it was delicious. I ordered the cheesy big flambay with the side of cool ranch Dorito and a crispy crunch of bacon with the lettuce gourmet. With extra weiner in the crust. Oh, that's only what I had on my late husband, God rest his all.

He had the weenie half. I was vegetarian at the time. And he was gay. And he was gay, you see. Who was? gay men couldn't do anything but have a wiener in their crust at that time. That's right. That was the only option.

That was the only way to express their sexuality. I see. Mm-hmm. It was a different time. It was a different time. Certainly. So you sleep with us. I know someone who's in a thruple and he sleeps in a, basically like a twin,

just slightly large and a twin bed with the other two men that he's in this relationship with. That's impossible. No. What you're describing is impossible. Well. Well, anyway. And what sort of pizza did you eat on that faded day? I got a pizza under a cloche.

What? What do you mean what? It makes perfect sense. Describe what you mean, please. A cloche is a glass lid that goes over a cake or something, you know? A cake or something. But this was the extra large pizza. So the cloche was huge.

And everybody was... Everybody was afraid it was going to break. and we turned out the lights and we gathered around a campfire and I told the story of the broken cloche you want to hear it? I feel like we're hearing it right now

well do you really want to hear it? I've got to hear it plug your ears for one quick second before you start my love just to fill you in give you a little context he thinks he calls the top

of a garbage can a cloche he's always thought that every garbage can steel topped garbage can it's a decadent meal and he eats it in the dark so he's never really been sure that he's been eating garbage in the dark.

But this man has been eating garbage for his entire life. Well, don't you ever wonder why he says every meal he has is served under a cloche? He doesn't understand, you see. Anyways, let's let him at it. All right, go ahead with the story, please.

I says to myself, I says, I'd love to have a pizza pie. So, I headed out to the driveway. Okay. Not into the restaurant. No, all the food's out on the side of the driveway, on the side of the house. Okay, very good.

That's where the food is. Of course. Lawrence, you agree. That's where the food is. That's where the food is. There were three beautiful glass closures, one for recycled food, one for yard waste food, and one for regular food, right? Okay. Delicious, delicious, Dutch.

Sounds great, Dutch. Okay. And so I chose, I'm going to have the recycled food, okay? And you were in the mood for pizza. I was, I was, I was. So I opened up, I picked up the glass lotion. It made a metal sound. That was weird, but I just didn't, I just kept going.

Okay, all right. I didn't think anything of it, because who am I to question physics? Of course, not you getting a decadent meal while look it in their mouth. Exactly. Glass sounds like metal all the time. All the time. Yes. And food smells like garbage.

And oftentimes you can't see through glass. No, you can't. And you know, what's crazy is this glass was unbreakable. I tried, and I tried to break it, and it would dent and it would clamor, but it wouldn't shatter. Hmm. Strangest thing. Anyway, I picked it up. I found an old piece of pizza in there.

Fantastic, and I ate it. And then I got in the can, and I dozed off for a while. And it knocked over, and I rolled down the street into a little crick, and it flowed me down river sub. Have you ever heard of the Prince of Egypt? I believe so. That's where this story comes from. It's the Point of No Routoon.

You ever seen that movie? Which one? Prince of Egypt. Point of No Routune. Okay, let's not be mean. That's Prince of Egypt, too. Point of no retuned. Yeah, begruntled.

What is the real word? And it's spelled G-W-O-N, point of no retune. Because it's a sequel, Lawrence. Once again, this is not a film podcast. It's also not a grammar podcast. You just found the word disgruntled? I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't think of the right one. It sounds wrong to me.

I prefer begruntled. Me too. Anyway, that's the story of the broken cloche. You want, uh, $5, please. I'm sorry? For the story. Five dollars for the story.

Give them $5 for the story. I had no idea. There was a ticket price. Well, it's a suggested donation because we've got to keep the lights on. I don't have any cash on me. Oh, man, I knew it a grifter. Yeah. You could sell it to me.

Could we settle up after the podcast, maybe? Yeah, I've got some ways you can work it off. Well, I could get my wallet. I just don't have my wallet. I'm not interested. It's too late. There's $5 in my wallet. It's too late for money.

You had your chance. But I don't have the money here. Now you're going to work off that $5. Dutch's way. I don't know what that means. I hope you brought your windex. I need my closures cleaned. You should have brought cash, Ron.

I have it. It's just in my dressing room. Too late. Son of a good. Oh, boy. Actually, I don't think I can give you that $5. Why? Well, my stepdaughter, she gets her allowance today, and that's $5.

And that's what that $5 is for. So I actually cannot. She's never going to love you, Ron. Nope. Well, we're working on it. You're not going to replace her dad. Well, she doesn't respect you. I've never met her.

And I don't really know you, but I can tell that's what's going down. Well, she has a big dance recital coming up, and we've been working on some choreography together. Oh, really? Well. You think that's what she wants? I'll tell you this, Ron. First chance she gets, she's going to kill you. I don't think that's true.

Watch, try ordering a pizza under 30 minutes and see if you survive. Wait a minute. That's the new promotion. What is? We kill the stepdad. That's right. So I'm going to order a pizza. Yeah.

And if it shows up in 30 minutes or less, we kill you. You do. I might. One of us. How would you even get out of this chair? Well, oh. What's that supposed to mean? Excuse me.

Is that an age joke? It's not a joke. I'm just sort of, I could very quickly... Is it a heavy fat ass joke? I could very quickly move away from you and I'm not intimidated by you threatening me. Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. I don't want to fight you, sir, I just...

Because my legs are more vain than flesh. It seems like you'd have difficulty catching me if I were to run away. This has been building to this this whole time, hasn't it? You challenging us through a fight. I'm not challenging anyone to a fight. We accept. You threatened me first.

We accept Ron, give me a hand up so I can fight you. It's not Ron, it's Lawrence. Will you take my hand and punch your face with it? No, I will not. You're listening to With my own eyes, a history podcast

With your host, me, Lawrence Ribbets. Today we've been discussing the Pizza Hut restaurant franchise. Just give me a hand up and I'll punch you in the gut. Any final thoughts on the Pizza Hut Empire? I'll kick you from here. Move a little closer. Move a little closer.

and I'll kick you, Ron. I'm doing psychological warfare. You week, you week, you're weak, you're weak, you're weak, you're weak, you're weak, you're weak. There you go. All right, all right. That's enough of that, please. Please. Before we say goodbye, any final thoughts on Pizza Hut?

Well, it was a wonderful time, and everyone had a wonderful time, and in those days, things were different. Don't you? Don't you? Exactly. If you'd like to write into the show. Me? Listeners. People listening to the show.

Dutch. If you're listening to the show and you'd like to write in, you have comments or you'd be gruntled about something you've heard on the episode. Please write in. You are going to find the email address in the show notes. It's so wonderful. Her email address. Email address. It's the address code.

And when you get an email address, you put it out, don't you? Yeah. You put it on. You should buy your stepdaughter an email address. That's the dancer. Show boys. That's how you do. I'm sorry?

Never mind. Digitalis support in your ear. My guests have been Margaret Dupes, Penulterman, and Dutch Swanson. Who, hell, which, at a, win, a ta. Please enjoy history. I'm Lord's Remins. With My Own Eyes is brought to you by Andy Daly with Matt Goorley. It was mixed and edited by Mark McConville, an executive produced by Andy Daley and Matt Goorley.