Bookwild - A True Crime Chorus: The Vanishing of Ethel Cain | Gare's Love Letter to Ethel Cain

Episode Date: August 15, 2025

This week, Gare shares all the ins and outs of Ethel Cain's dark, haunting album Preacher's Daughter!Check out the album here. Get Bookwild MerchCheck Out My Stories Are My Religion SubstackCheck Out Author Social Media PackagesCheck out the Bookwild Community on PatreonCheck out the Imposter Hour Podcast with Liz and GregFollow @imbookwild on InstagramOther Co-hosts On Instagram:Gare Billings @gareindeedreadsSteph Lauer @books.in.badgerlandHalley Sutton @halleysutton25Brian Watson @readingwithbrian 

So it is hot as fuck, but Gare and I are safely inside. And he basically has a fucking dissertation to share with us out today. I do. So we're trying something else. He's running point today. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Thank you very much for letting me come on and talk all the things.

So basically in like January, I got out of like a really shitty friendship and I used the term friendship very loosely. And when I was doom scrolling on TikTok, I kept getting this song that came up all the time. And it was like something about like, am I turning in your stomach and making you feel sick? And I was like, oh my God, this is like, you know, I see all these things were like a relationship breakup song works just as well. well, if not better for a friendship breakup. So I was like, oh, yeah. Like, when you think of how you treated me and like why we are where we are, like, I hope that you want to throw up, basically. Yes. But then I kept getting this song stuck in my head. It turns out the song was called

Strangers by Ethel Kane, part of the Preacher's album daughter. So download the song. Preacher's daughter album. Yeah. What did I say? Preacher's album daughter. We're off to a good start then. I know. I'm glad I have notes. Just again. anyone's trying to Google it. Yeah, the preacher's daughter album. And, um, downloaded the song, loved it, downloaded the rest of the album, listened to it. And I was like, wow, this is so good. But like, some of these songs, like, have very, I don't want to say strange, but like, very, like, intricate lyrics. And so then I ended up doing a deep dive and I found out that it is a concept album, which I've heard of, but I've never listened to a concept album before. And so basically,

like, for anyone who doesn't know, a concept album is an album that if you listen to it from the beginning to the end, it tells a story. I became obsessed with the lore of this album. I'm obsessed with the album. I'm obsessed with Ethel. And I was like, you know, this would be a fun thing to discuss with somebody like you who pays a lot of attention to detail. And, Also, like, I think it would be fun for your audience because stories are what have initially brought us together. So, you know, we have now we have books, audio books, and concept albums. So you can occasionally movies and you can listen to stories now. So I thought it would be fun to discuss the lore behind the album and basically the vanishing.

of Ethel Cain. So Ethel Cain is the stage name and main character of the work of Hayden, Silas, Anedonia. The themes of the album include intergenerational trauma, religious trauma, the American Dream, and Southern Gothic Americana.

Which is like such a vibe. Perfect. In its own. This story is not for the fame of the heart. So... No, it's not. As the album begins, Ethel Cain is a 20-year-old woman living in the fictional southern town of Shady Grove, Alabama in 1991. She's the daughter of

Vera Kane and the preacher Joseph Kane who died 10 years prior. This is the first album of a trilogy narrating the story of Ethel Kane and the women in her family told in reverse order. You'll be meaning a plethora of new characters, some you will love, and most you will hate. Yes, amen. It goes to mention that most consider Ethel Kane to be an unreliable narrator, making her tale one of the most haunting ones to come across the media since the unnamed narrator in Go Ask Alice. Ethel Cain was last seen in Arlington, Texas on January 13th in a Wind Dixie parking lot being knocked out by a blonde man and put into the bed of a black pickup truck. Trigger warnings for this story. You might just skip ahead like 45 seconds if you're not worried about trigger warnings because there are a bunch of them.

Yes. Yeah. So trigger warnings include religious trauma, drug use, alcoholism, incest, pedophilia, domestic abuse, sexual abuse, sex trafficking, murder, and cannibalism. Good old cannibalism. That is your cue. Yes. Any of those are too much for you.

You can see us next time. Yes. Otherwise, buckle up. Get yourself cozy and let's descend into darkness. Yes. super darkness. I had to say when I started listening to it, it was also reminding me, I mean, it's a much larger story, but it was reminding me of how like before I got obsessed with Taylor Swift and I hadn't listened to like, nobody, no crime. And then I listened to that and I was like,

oh my God, that was basically like kind as close to a mystery thriller as she's going to write. And then this is significantly darker, like, and obviously like an entire context. concept album, but it was reminding me of how fun it is to like listen to a story in music. Yeah. Yeah. That's actually really interesting that you say that because I was like, when I listened to nobody, no crime, I was like, there is something about this like four minute song that they could turn into an entire like TV series or a movie.

And like I love the story of it. And it was very interesting to listen to that too because they were kind of like twist in it. Yeah. Yeah. There definitely are. And I mean, this one has more up for interpretation. I guess no body, no crime's probably pretty. It's not as much up for interpretation. But this one, like, especially near the end, there's like a lot that's like what's metaphor, what's real, like all of that. Yeah. Yeah. It's very like interesting too because like they're like she wants to turn this into a book and a movie. Oh, she does. Yes. Okay. I hope that she does and I hope that it does work because I love the way that she writes her lyrics, but I also enjoy the fact that she's like, if you are like a casual fan or if you are somebody who just like enjoys my music, enjoy it for what it is. Like everybody has their own interpretation. But like you can go on, I believe it's genius lyrics or lyric genius. Yeah. What is it now? Because it used to be.

rap genius is what it used to be. She goes in and annotates the lyrics. Oh, she does. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. And now it's just called genius.com. So there you go.

Probably aging myself by. I couldn't remember. I knew they had changed it, but I couldn't remember what they changed it to either. That's awesome. So she'll go in and annotate things and say like this is kind of what this line means and like what it's referencing. but like a lot of the details are things that like she's released and she's kind of put out there she did some like visuals for the album that like tell more of the story which is how you get

like character names that aren't in the song and things like that. So she did a lot in like building this story not into just only a concept album but like actually something that like has a life of its own. So a lot of the notes that I have and stuff are. are things that have come directly from Ethel and then, you know, kind of some of the things that I interpret it in my way. So yeah. That's my beginning of my dissertation. Do you want to like go through track by track?

Yeah. Okay. So. There's also like very fascinating to me how many different like musical genres are or styles of music. It's not even like genres. Sometimes it's like chanting and like learned how to make certain. certain sounds.

It's like wild to me that she like produces her own music and writes her own music and came up with this story and she's like so young. Yeah. How old is she? I believe she's 27. Okay. Yeah. But the album's been out for like a few years.

So I mean this is. Yeah. Yeah. So like this is something that I think a concept that she came up with when she was like 20. Wow. That's crazy. And yeah. So the first song is family tree intro.

serving as the prologue to the album, Ethel describes the trauma of Christianity and her intergenerational trauma expressing a bloodline and religion that she will never be able to rid herself of. While in the song, Ethel claims that she used to be extremely religious, that is no longer the case. Although in the town of Shady Grove, Alabama,

Ethel will always be known as the preacher's daughter. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm a preacher's daughter, Freddie. who's somewhat new. So this is also part of what made it, made it work for me. But I loved kind of what you're saying, that like she,

if she's there, she's the preacher's daughter essentially. And there's, I had one of my lyrics pulled from this one that says, but he cannot escape his mother's blood. He'll scream and try to wash it off his fingers, but he'll never escape what he's made up of. And it is like,

it's so hard to extrapolate the things from your childhood that weren't you because they were like such a formative experience. Yeah, yeah. I think it's very interesting, too, to kick it off the way that she did by being like, you know, sometimes in a story, like, everything starts off like really sunny. And then like it gets darker a little later on. Yeah. But like her basically saying that.

that like no matter what I do under the microscope, like if I'm bad, if I'm good, like I'm always just going to be known as the preacher's daughter. So like there's this like magnifying glass that's on me more than like any other teenager. Yeah, I was actually just explaining my family to someone this weekend who was asking about it. And that was one of the things that I was like remembering when I started therapy in my 20s. She, my therapist was someone who had like worked with, uh, multiple pastors families because at the time, our whole family did it and until they all bailed. And, um, she said that she, uh, she, like, treats, treats pastors families the same way that she would treat, uh, politicians families because of, like, the fish bowl effect. So like what kind of what you're saying with a magnifying class, uh,

it's just like, being, like, being, like, a really perfect family unit is a really big important thing in both professions or whatever, like pastors and politicians. So it just is. People feel like they have a right to like know all about your life just because you're the pastor's kid. Yeah. And I feel like there's like more of like a chance of rebellion in that sense because you

not only have your parents telling you what to do, but you have an entire religion telling you what to do and almost to an effect like a town telling you. So I was saying, if you're in a small enough town, it's like if I was somewhere but my parents weren't there, I still knew there were adults that would like tell my parents if I did something. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's almost like the town acts as your paparazzi. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yes. And I think like one of the lyrics I pulled was kind of the same as yours. because I thought it was like interesting that she was like I used to be like very religious but now like she's kind of rebelling against that and how she's still even though she's rebelling compares herself to Jesus and saying that Jesus can always reject his father but he

cannot escape his mother's blood. So it kind of gives you this like foreshadowing of like the relationship that she has with her father but like also the things in her mother that are going to like be in instilled in her until the end of the album. Spoiler alert. Almost. Yeah. And my other standout lyric from that song was,

The Fates Already Fucked Me Sideways, swinging by my neck from the family tree. Yeah, that one's pretty fantastic imagery as well. Yeah. Yeah. like just being born into that position we'll call it as the preacher's daughter and like she said like swinging by my neck in the family tree it's like some good wordplay that yeah like you can't Yeah, incorporating both of those, the fact that it would swinging from a family tree, you're like, this is the intergenerational trauma, too, part of the album. Yeah.

Yeah, like the tree is what's causing the pain and stuff. And the rope is your blood. Mm-hmm. So, yeah, it's a strong opener. Yeah, very strong opener. Yeah. And then moving on to track 2, American Teenager, which is quite the change. It's like a very like uptempo song.

A lot of people compare it to like something that they think that Taylor Swift would do. Yeah, it's very synthy. Yeah. And it's like very like the hook is like very catchy. And when you listen to it, you're like, oh my God, I could sing along to this like windows down here. Like windblown in my hair. And then when you listen to the lyrics, they're kind of like. Yeah.

which I've always been fascinated by, like, not even, like, really comparable, but, like, kind of, like, dancing on my own by Robin, how it's this, like, dancey, like, up-tempo song. But, like, when you, like, read the lyrics, you're like, oh, this is, like, really depressing. Yeah, she's, yeah. She's very sad. That's, like, what is the, oh, Tyler had that experience with one of Chaparones. Oh, God. I mean, it, it left my, it left my name.

All Chaparones are kind. Like good luck baby. Yeah, because there's lots of good luck babe. That was the one where like he didn't know until he heard a cover that was kind of sad. And he was like that that song's sad. I was like, yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah. I relate to a good luck baby very much.

I'm glad I'm glad you could help because my brain gave out. So American teenager talks about small religious town of Shady Grove in which church in Christ our life in high school football is the epitome of the American dream, and all the small town really has to offer. Thinking of war, Ethel remembers the brother of her neighbor, a soldier who died overseas and came home in a box, emphasizing it was possibly his own fall as he wanted to fight in the war, and dying for his country is another example of the all-American dream.

After the passing of her father, Ethel takes over leading the congregation every Sunday while also turning to alcohol to deal with her father's death and a recent breakup. As the preacher's daughter, she still shows up and delivers while being drunk. Ethel finds the frustrations in the ideal image of the American teenager while beginning to disconnect with God in her role as the preacher's daughter while she questions her beliefs in religion. Yeah. This one was one of Obama's, like, picks. Yeah. I saw that when I was, like, looking at some of the lyrics.

It was annotated. I was like, damn. Yeah. I just remember, like, I just remember, like, like, because like, strangers, the first song that I heard by her was very like, and that's the final one, isn't it? Yeah. And it's very like, there's a lot of different genres in the song.

Mm-hmm. And so then when I heard the intro, Family Tree, I was like, oh, like, this is a little, like, bluesy. And then when like this came on, I was like, oh, my God, like I. They all sound very different. Yeah. And I, like, blare this in my car. and I'm just like pretend that I am Ethelcane on the week. Yeah.

Yeah. It kind of, I mean, it's, Beyonce's was definitely like country almost all the way through, but like it also did still feel like it had different genres. Like each song sounded very different. So it kind of reminded me of kind of reminded me of Cowboy Carter too. Yeah. In the, in the way that it like plays with genres.

But it plays with genres more. Yeah. Yeah. There's like a lot of like bluegrass. Mm-hmm. in it. Yeah. Yeah, I loved the, uh, Jesus, Jesus, if you're listening, let me handle my liquor while she's like going up to preach. We are literally, is that one of your standout lyrics? Yeah. Mm-hmm. I didn't end up condensing them. I didn't get to my top five like I thought I would today.

But yes, that was one of the ones I have in my notes. I did like two or three like standout lyrics for each song. Yeah. And one of mine is life full of whiskey, but I always deliver Jesus, if you're listening, let me handle my liquor. Like I love that so much. And there's like part of that where she's like, I can't remember like exactly how it goes, but she's like, and I don't feel good. And it's like just basically like the way she sings it. It's just like how you would say it if you were hung over. Like I just don't feel good. You know, like. Yeah. But I love like the line. It's such a. teenager mentality of there's one line that she says, I do what I want crying in the bleachers and I said it was fun. It's such a teenager line to just be like, I'm not enjoying this, but like everybody

else is kind of like pretending like they're happy. So like even though like I'm crying in the bleachers where like the football stadium is and like everybody's like, you know, go team go. Like she's just kind of like, yeah, I said I had a good time, but like I just am not happy. Yeah. And that's just like, just like the way that it was like written really reminds me of like the teenage experience. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I love American teenager. It's, it is good and it is catchy. That's kind of the other like crazy. Catchy. Yeah.

I don't, I honestly like, as much as I have dissected this album. Mm-hmm. I honestly think that like I probably listen to the song like five to ten times. before I heard the line about like the neighbor's brother came home in a box but he wanted to go so maybe it was his fault and like that one is so sad. I heard that and I was like oh my god this is not a happy song you know because like

the rest of it's like so poppy but there's like little like things in this song that you're like okay this is not happy and there's another song on the elbow. While I'm wearing my black and pink I'm reading doll parts right now which is very sad girl summer and there was line that was a little bit like that. This is not giving anything away. In the synopsis, it talks about how, like, when they were in college, there were a group of girls that got really obsessed with Sylvia Plath, but, like, every year, one of the girls that, one of the freshmen would commit suicide

every single year for, like, a long streak. And it was always these girls in the Sylvia Plath Club. But, like, one of the lines, she, like, talks about how she can't go to the bathroom, the third floor bathroom anymore, because she thinks she could still see her hanging, from the tree. And then there's a line that's like, even though her parents already took her home. And so it like, the sentence feels like, oh, parents took their kid home from college. But like, it's because she was dead. And I was like, oh, God, this is, her prose is fantastic. Sometimes, like, those little lines, you're just like, whoa. There's like something in like a very effective line, too. Like, I remember reading, there was like an article about the, oh, Idaho

for tragedy. And, you know, the journalists, the way that they wrote it, there was something to the effect of, like, these parents brought all of their kids and helped them move into this house. And then they brought them all home, like, in coffins, basically. Yeah. I was like, oh, my God. Like, that is just like. That's how you're going to pick your kid out.

You don't think about, like, you don't really think about it that way. You know, like, when you, like, hear about a tragedy like that, you're like, okay, like, you don't always think like that's a possibility even a possibility or like a detail that you don't really think of you know what I mean like you don't think about you're just kind of like oh like that's really sad that they lost their child you know I hope they find who did it but like you don't really think about how like do you have to like worry about like transporting a body somewhere to have a funeral or yeah so um just bleak

it's just bleak guys what did you expect just fleak um and one of my favorites track three a house in Nebraska this is my like oh gee I love this song so much yeah um so this one is about the ex-boyfriend that is kind of mentioned an American teenager um

A house in Nebraska, Ethel finds herself reminiscing about Willoughby Tucker, who left town prior to the album after their breakup. She finds herself thinking of Willoughby in an abandoned house in Alabama they would go to together, fantasizing the house was in Nebraska, far away from Shady Grove. Dealing with her loneliness and the memories of Willoughby, she tends to a broken heart in the one place she ever really considered home. Yeah, it's sad. And it's like a piano ballad too. yeah like you just feel you feel the like yearning probably is the right word for it yeah there's like something about uh break up or like moving on from a situation that like you it is so much sadder to think of the good times that you had with somebody and like reminisce on those good memories knowing that you're not going to have any more of them than it is to like think about like the shitty times you know what you

mean like some people are like oh just think about like why you're in this position like why you broke up or like whatever and like you're just kind of like okay like i can think about that but like that doesn't negate or get rid of like any of the like good memories that i have with somebody that's no longer in my life right um and i also like think it's like sad that this is such a family that or an album that's focused on like her family but like the house in Nebraska is like what she really considered home. Yeah, because it's like far away from there. That's one of my, what would you, would you consider that a vocal stem? Yeah. Like you know how people say that like you'll just be like by yourself and not even listening to music or like putting away your dishes and like you just like sing like one line of a song and

like over and over and over again? Yeah. I get them in my head especially kind of like you're saying. when you're scrolling TikTok enough. And so then like you really are just hearing like a small part. Yeah. So it's like I get it like stuck in my head. And I'm like I literally have like one. Yeah, like that. Yes.

Except this is not a holiday. This is not. No. But like one of my, I guess you would call my vocal stones is that like I will be like putting away laundry or doing something very mundane and just like say like I still call home that house in Nebraska. And then I'm like Garrett.

Come on. Can you have like a Britney Spears thought? be the one that like is stuck in your head. It's just this one. Yeah, this one is sad. It's very sad. It's like the fantasy she's never going to have. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's like it's hard to when you have a place that's like something or anything, I guess, it doesn't have to be a place, but anything that was special to you and that person. And then you go back to that alone. Yeah. You know, like whether it's a place or like. there are places I know that I will never go again. Yeah.

There are like movies that I won't watch again because like it's weird to watch them without that person. There's like songs I won't listen to and it's just like weird to like think of something that once reminded you of somebody like made you so happy or that like you enjoyed together and like now just like kind of like breaks your heart. Yeah. Yeah. That was part of what like I was definitely, we keep talking about her.

I was definitely a bigger Taylor Swift fan in high school. And then it reminded me of some bad relationships that I had within the church. Yeah. Which is so silly. But I think that's even a part of why, like, for a while I was just like, I just like wasn't up to date pretty much from like, what would that be? Like I didn't really get into 1989. Like it obviously was everywhere. But I didn't really get into it.

So it's kind of like from like 1989. to midnight's, I was like, yeah. And then swift talk happened. So I do get that. And there are just things that like make you feel too many things. Yeah. Yeah. And like I feel like the lyrics in this one are like definitely the most obvious that

paint the story, right? Like other than knowing his name is Willoughby Tucker. Yeah. There's like, um, my standout lyrics are, um, I still call home that house in Nebraska where we found each other on a dirty mattress on the second floor. And I'm like, like, it's something so like, like, people would be like, ew, but like to her, that's like a good memory. You know. I know you hate Halsey, but that line made me think of closer too.

On the mattress that you stole from your roommate back in. I love Halsey's music. Yeah. I love her voice. her. Yeah. Yeah. I get that. I don't know enough about her to have an opinion, but I love her voice. I've just like seen enough where I'm like, okay. Yeah. But to each their own. But I do, I do love is it badlands, badlands? Yes, her badlands era. I love that album. Yes. I love that album. She was just posting about how cringy, like how when she sees something from her bad lands era and she's like,

love that for her, but like, not in a bad way. Just. just like she was a crazy teenager. I saw a TikTok where she was like mentioning like something like how she would act in that era and then like her PR team and record label would be like. Yes. Yeah. Yes.

That. Um. And the other lyric of your mama calls me sometimes to see if I'm doing well. And I lie to her and say that I'm doing fine when really I'd kill myself to hold you one more time. Like I don't know. There's something about. how like a friend or a relationship or whatever being close with that family and then like not

being like losing so many people regardless of like whatever happened but like not like I don't know there's something like really sad about his mother still checking up on her I know yeah because if she's calling her like it means like even the mom misses her yeah like it's not the other way even it's like the mom reaching out to her. it's like even the mom probably knows like how hard she's like taking it you know um and that actually happened to me to do really where yeah like a couple years ago where like someone's mom had like reached out to me it was like hey like i hope you're doing well and like yeah um and then my last standout lyric i hope no i have two more um i cry every

day and the bottles make it worse because you're the only one I was never scared to tell I heard. That one guts me. That one's very sad. And you might never come back home and I may never sleep at night, but God, I just hope you're doing fine out there. I pray that you're all right. You're like, I don't know if I can continue. Yeah, the one I had highlighted to was like, and I still wait at the edge of town praying straight to God that maybe you'd come back around. Oh, I know. That is so like. Even like the edge of town and then like come back around.

Yeah. Or like you like you just like kind of see like a road and like hoping that he like turns the corner and goes like walking. Yeah. Yeah. It's so sad. And it's like we mentioned that Ethel or Hayden herself. It was a preacher's daughter.

I feel like we haven't even mentioned that part. Yeah. Yeah, she, she was. And like a lot of this is like loosely based on her experience. I think it's semi autobiographical. Yeah, but like obviously there are a lot of things that in this, like, as we go on, did not happen to her. Yeah. And I also don't want to, like, I don't know the difference between how she feels in certain songs and like what is like extremely fictional.

So I will say that like, yeah, she was a preacher's daughter. And a lot of this is like kind of based on her experience. but like it's not it's not autobiographical yeah yeah autobiographical um but yeah that there's something like weird about like a breakup or missing somebody or going through like heartache where you're like literally tired all day and all you want to do is sleep and then like at night your mind is just going so quickly that you can't sleep so I think she like you know captures that very well in that year. Yeah, she does.

So that is a house in Nebraska. Moving on to the track Western Nights, we are now in the current timeline of Ethel's story. So she's no longer reminiscing. But things take a dark turn when Ethel meets bad boy Logan Phelps, who rides a motorcycle and robs, and robs, and banks. Logan's physically abusive to Ethel,

which only makes Ethel believe that how he treats her is truly love even if it is shown in violence and sexual assault. Ethel and Logan turn into a Bonnie and Clyde, robbing bangs together and engaging in a toxic relationship. Although it appears Logan is using Ethel for sex, Ethel seems to be in love with him and vows to stay with Logan to free herself from her family legacy. Another happy one. Yeah. It's kind of pop country vibes too with this one. Yeah, and it's like the music without the lyric is like kind of sexy. Yeah. Like it sounds like a Western night's kind of like it's very visual for me.

There's like mention of like hotel rooms and stuff and you can just kind of see like this like dark hotel room and the only light in it is like the blue like static from the TV almost. And yeah, like when I first heard this song, I was like, oh my god, this is like, I love this so much. Because a lot of it's like her melodies that get to me and the way that she sings things and the words that she rhymes together. Yeah, yeah. Oh, her layering is like her vocal stacks are. Yeah. Don't even get me started. Yeah. And this is another one that I really enjoyed. And I thought it was just like about a bad boy until I started like, paying attention to the lyrics and I was like, girl.

Well, it is about a bad boy. Yeah, we got to get you out of this one. This is not just like the guy. This is not like John Travolta in Greece bad boy. This is like prison bad boy. It was like it also reminded me of the vibes of strange darling if anyone has not seen that movie yet. But like, you know, like that vibe. Yes.

like motel room like you're reminding me of that a lot my god that movie is so good what a mind i like still feel like i haven't loved a movie as much as i loved it last year i watched that and companion very closely together oh yeah companion is like my it's really good too companion is like i just love it so much and it's like a little more like sci-fi yeah with the the perspective of an AI. Yep. Which is like, you know me and sci-fi. Yeah, it's like campy near future.

Yeah. And I loved it. I love every other of it. Yeah, it's really good. I don't have anything from Western Nights. Like, I don't have any huge notes on my part. You don't? No.

I have, I think these are like some of the, my standout lyrics from Western Nights are, I watched him show his love. through shades of black and blue starting fights at the bar across the street like you do um which i just think paints this picture of what the relationship is like because he's fighting and getting all this anger out with other men at the bar but still like being violent toward her trouble's always going to find you baby but so will i just yeah i love that um i'll hold the gun if you asked me too but if you love me like you say you do would you ask me too oh i did have that one i love that i just must not have typed it out yeah i loved that one um all that's left are your walls

and you'll die there i should have known that there's no getting in which is kind of i think the line that eludes that like he's using her for sex and she's the one that's in love um crying in the tv static i'll be all right clinging on to you like some love blind addict which i think like represents her relationship with men very well. And then the last one is, please don't love how I need you and know that one day you and I could be okay. Please don't love how I need you is like one of the best lines when you are so far into like feeling for somebody who doesn't feel the same way about you because it, that. that narcissism in that person that like realizes like I can't live life without you and like they don't love you but they love the fact that you need them is like oh my god yeah please don't love

how I need you yeah please that's a lyric that I would get tattooed on my body if it you should if it was like people would be like okay all right bleak fillings you have to go you have to go they like they would like take me to like a mental institution but like and Instead of therapy, they would just make me watch like happy Disney movies until I'm like not not into the bleak stuff anymore. Yes. Oh my gosh. I was reminding me, did you read since we have to talk about when the wolf come, the Nat Cassidy one? I have no one at night.

Anything by Nat Cassidy. I haven't either. And I thought it was a woman. And it's a man. Like I thought it was a woman this whole time that I've been seeing it everywhere. But like one of the concepts to your point. One of the concepts is that there's this little boy whose fears get created in real life when he gets really scared.

Kind of like bone music, bone music. What was that one? How scared she is, like changes how strong she is. It's like if he gets really scared, what he's scared of gets projected into the world. So then like when he was a kid, they did have to like only let him watch happy, like Disney stuff so that he didn't get scared. I'm so afraid of Jacob Allorty. I'm so scared of Jacob Allerty.

Like, I'm so terrified. That's all never be able to sleep tonight. Where is he? Yeah. Have anyone read that? And if it's like, oh, you need to read that, let me know. It does sound interesting. Out of what I've heard with horror authors, I feel like he's somebody that I could see you getting into.

It's kind of what I'm thinking. Yeah. Yeah. I think it had a lot to do with daddy issues. I was like, I'm already too, just too emotional this week. So I was like, I don't need to read about daddy trauma right now. I'll just talk to Garabat. I'll just listen to him and talk about Eltona.

That's a pressing story he's ever heard. Yes. No, I want to say I did or almost read Mary. I think it was called. Yeah, I was seeing stuff in the reviews about Mary. And I was like, this must be one of his other books. Yeah. Yeah.

So I've heard really good things about, I mean, I've heard really good things about all of his books. I just feel like I have to dip my toe a little lighter when I get into horror. And maybe it's not the best for me to start with. But I could see his concepts working very well for you. Poor little munchkin. Moving on to Family Tree, the song. Not the intro. intro um so this is family tree which is going to start getting a little bit deeper and darker and

sadder here a bit angrier mm-hmm um so family tree is after a gunfight with the police during a bank robbery logan is killed and ethel is on the run with no option to go back home she feels free from her religious background in shady grove we now start to see a darker side of ethel after her relationship with Logan in his death, noting that she's killed before and she'll kill again. So that kind of alludes to like the fact that she was an accomplice with him. Sorry, I thought I was muted. I might just leave that in for everyone. Bruce is just I was like, you don't agree. You might be able to see him in the full screen. I can't tell me. He's just sitting here going, this is why I was like, no. And I heard him and I was like gonna pause.

And then like you were like no. And I was like, no, that's like one of the, I was like, no, that's like one of the other. Okay. I'm just gonna, I'm gonna mute myself now. This is like having. This is like also I love that I love bleak things and like the story. But like sometimes like things like that happening, this is literally like L. Woods talking about like the Holocaust. Like, you know what I mean?

like I just don't know because like I'm like giggling but um so we see a darker side of ethel after her relationship with Logan noting that she's killed before and she'll kill again which is allude into the fact that she not only was like with the bad boy who was robbing banks and ATMs but she was his accomplice um so in this song she learns a disturbing family secret Ethel is reminded what her mother Vera told her about violence being the superior way to conduct yourself, proving that

violence and trauma is something that has followed all of the women in the family. Now looking back, Ethel finds that Logan was not a prince with a white horse and that she viewed him through rose-colored glasses. So. It's easy to do. Yeah.

Yeah. Fathers. Yeah. So the like... I love that it's starts off with these crosses all over my body. That was one. I was like, okay, wow. Yeah. Yeah. And that like very dramatic like, boom. Um, but yeah, like I love that she kind of uses this relationship to go back to like her family trauma and kind of connects all of it. Because I feel like a lot of people don't do that, which is why men should go to therapy. And that way they won't treat women like this and put them in

positions that they end up like pour a little Ethel. But also Ethel could use some therapy herself. Yes, probably. I also love when there's imagery of clean in relation to I was just running to get a bone. So that's why I'm out of breath. A dog bone. Yeah, a dog bone, not that kind of bone. She's like, she's digging up, she's digging up the bodies.

Or that yet. But yeah, anytime there's like imagery around clean when it's talking about actually like the dirty parts of religion, such a good contrast. And it's like, that's like in the chorus. So take me down to the river and bathe me clean. Yeah. Yeah. And I love like how you kind of get to know a little bit more about. about how her parents raised her compared to just being the preacher's daughter.

Because like sometimes when you think of like the preacher in his life, you think of like strict but like very like Betty Crocker and, you know, things like that. But there's a lyric that says, I'm just a child, but I'm not above violence. My mama raised me better than that. When the preacher talks that man demands his silence and daddy said shoot first, then run and don't look back. Yeah, see, that part was reminding.

me of not to really dive into it but like the amount because like that one it I remember it said yeah it says like give myself up to him an offering let him make a woman out of me and then it says I'm just a child but I'm not above violence it just reminded me of all of the pedophiles that we have in government who are Christians like it felt like them make make a woman out of me and then I'm just a child like that feels like the really really creepy parts of some religion. It also kind of reminds me of like men like Logan who think that they can get away more with women who have endured sexual abuse and any other sort of abuse.

But I also love in this song how she is like kind of being a little bit more badass. do you know what I mean like she's definitely showing that like angry side and she's angry toward all the right people instead of herself yes yeah um which is the beginning of like healing yeah yeah for most people if you're on a healing journey it's the beginning of it's like oh it's not my fault yeah um and i love the line they say heaven hath no fury like a woman's scorned and baby hell don't scare me i've been times before yes oh god i can't believe i didn't write that one down the religious woman escaping and then comparing religious trauma and christianity to hell yeah because what's that it reminded me of is it that shakespeare quote because that

it reminded me oh hell is empty and all the devils are here oh yeah that's what it reminded I love that. Yes. It's such an amazing, dramatic thing to say, too, when you're just like, this is how terrible this fucking situation is. The hell is empty and the devils are here. Being that this is such a heavy episode, I will say that my first introduction to that quote from Shakespeare was in an episode of One Tree Hill. When Lucas was narrating an episode, an episode and it started off with him saying hell is empty and all the devils are here. And I was like, oh my God. This is like... He's so deep. This is like the best, like whoever wrote on Tree Hill is like seriously, like so poetic. Did not realize it was a Shakespeare quote. And then I was like, I am like, hmm,

what could possibly be going through my mind right now where I think that somebody, who wrote one tree hill is that poetic that poetic i mean it's if you're watching it as a teenager though it was just it was amazing it felt poetic now moving on to hard times this is where you might want to take a break if you need to yeah um if you have daddy issues that still hurt yeah yeah so i will be trying to condense this as much as i can um following the death of Logan in the aftermath of their abusive relationship, Ethel is reminded of her father, Joseph Kane, who died 10 years ago, and she confronts the sexual abuse she endured as a child. Still harboring the guilt and shame that she feels toward what happened to her, she grapples with

understanding how her father, a pillar of the community, could have hurt her. Ethel continues to stay further from her, continues to stray further from her religious beliefs, losing her religion as we end act one of the album. It is I thought this was a breakup song when I first heard it and I was like, this reminds me of asshole. And then I was like, no,

no. I mean, I guess there's a lot of these things that you can take into, you can take to relating to yourself and something that you're going through. But when you, there are certain lyrics that kind of remind you that this is like more of Ethel's story

than it is like, And my standout lyrics were, tell me a story about how it ends where you're still the good guy, I'll make pretend. And it's kind of like her being like at one point, I thought my dad was such a good person. But like, now that we're here and I know what happened, I'll make pretend. I was too young to notice that sometimes love could be bad as another one. And then the chorus of praying, I'd be like you, doing all the things that you do, and I still do when that scares me. It's terrifying when you don't like your parents. And then a little bit of them sneaks through.

And you're like, fuck. Yeah. Yeah. And like her saying, like, how she used to, like, idolize him and want to be just like him and do everything he does. And then, like, now that she knows the kind of person he is, how she still does some of the those things and that's like what her biggest nightmare is. Yeah. That made me think of the Hunter's daughter.

Oh my God. Me too. Oh, fuck yeah. Like I could almost like, I almost like picture some of the, um, the same like visuals in my mind with the song that I do, um, that book. Yeah. For anyone who hasn't heard us talk about it, just leave you a tiny amount of context. it's about a woman whose dad was a serial killer. So she's scared of who she might be.

Yeah. Yeah. And I also think of like, what are those? Is it a Spanish moss? Is that the tree that has like the stuff that hangs down really low to the ground? Yeah, I think that's what hangs off of the trees and houses sometimes. I pictured that like over like a river and like ethically of like floating in this white gown. I don't know why that's my visual.

Yeah. well it's very religious to have water in a white gown together yeah like the other thing though for me like we're in the first verse it even says like nine going on 18 yes oh and you just have to grow up so much faster and so much different like even if you're in a healthy church you probably would because there's just different stuff expected of you but then also when there's like scary shit going on like you grow up faster because like you don't get the the like innocent part of childhood anymore at that point you're kind of having to act like an adult but the other part like all of the because there are like multiple references like you said like

because uh where you're still a good guy and I'll make pretend but then also even the chorus is like I thought good guys get to be happy I'm not happy it was also I mean, Taylor Swift is going to be a touchstone for me a lot. But it reminded me of a cardigan in one of the, I think it's in the bridge that it says, and I knew you'd try to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy. And it's like about men who like are just like totally interpreting something a different way. And so not the same. More of like a sister lyric connection there.

it like reminded me of the like the way that we all tell our own stories differently. You know what I mean? Like yeah. She like wants the image to be different in terms of like Ethel Cain wants it. And then in that one, it's like a man that like is always going to assume that like he was the victim and not her. That's just typical narcissism, which is actually, which is more relevant in men than women. So I am right there.

I'm right there with you. I'm the biggest man hater. Yeah. Yeah, you're catching me on a man-hating week, that's for sure. I may be the only man that's safe with you continuously. Probably. Because no matter what you, you could say the most unhinged thing to me about men and how like toxic and fucking awful they can be. And I would probably say something more unhinged. You're like, yep, agreed.

Because I just. Yeah, you would have something even crazier. Thank you. I also thought this was a breakup song I just wasn't a moot I was the other thing I was going to say there was like a trend for a while and it is what it is for me

some of the most devastating breakup songs are like are what make me think of my parents like anytime I hear them like it doesn't I also haven't been through like a too devastating of a breakup not to brag in recent years I had a really

I love that you're also playing with your hair. I know. Because it's literally like that meme of like, not to brag. Not to brag or anything. But not only do I have beautiful long hair, but I also have never been through a horrible breakup. Yeah. But I'll see those TikToks every now and then that are like every breakup can be a song about your parents if they were terrible enough. And I'm like, yeah.

So it goes both ways. then it's like a really painful relationship with the father could sound like a breakup song too. I think that breakup songs can honestly be any relationship, whether it is family, friends, romantic, like a platonic situation. Whatever, like, sometimes lyrics just like can fit different molds in your life, you know? Yeah. Like even the nine going on 18 to me with this song is like one of the hardest ones to listen to because she's doing something with her father at nine years old that is not legal until you're 18 with another person who you're not related to. Yeah. To put it mildly.

And that to me is like, okay, that's what I realized that this wasn't like your average breakup. song because the one lyric that I really liked was, I'm tired of you still tied to me, but I'm too tired to move and too tired to leave. And she's a kid. Yeah. And I'm just like, oh my God. She just wants to sleep. She just wants to sleep and she wants to like get rid of Joseph, who I am very nervous

to me in any of her songs. Yeah. We'll get to that more toward the end with my. Yeah. My outro, my dissertation. Your closing arguments. Hard times is one of the saddest songs I've ever heard. And I...

It's pretty terrible. That's my... Hard times is my number one go-to. If I'm like, if you're just having a really bad day and you need a song to cry to, you need something that'll like bring you over the brink and let out the emotional tears. I haven't needed that lately. My soul loft is no lofting too hard. Hard times is like my like, okay, I need a good cry.

Like, what's going to make me burst into tears and sobbing drollably? 10 to 15 seconds. Right. So we're going to move on to thoroughfare, unless you have anything else to add to hard times. I was not sexually abused in case anyone thought I was alluding to that. So there's that. No. Well, no. Yes. Yeah. If you have anything to add like that, you absolutely go ahead. I will say that no child deserves any sort of abuse. But yes, if there's, if there's, if. If Kate's relating to anything, it doesn't always necessarily remain black and white with this conversation.

As for a spokesperson. Thank you. I mean, I have parents who like to try to sue me. So you got to be careful. I just, when you are big and famous, I just want to be your scary publicist. Yeah. When you're like, you can just relax. And I will take out all of my anger on the people that are just trying to step on your toes and get in your business.

Yep. goodbye. I'll be like, let me rip these reporters apart in like two minutes and then we will go get Taco Bell. Yeah. So thoroughfare, we are back in present timeline after Ethel's dark and disturbing trip down memory lane. Ethel is still on the run from the shootout with the cops that killed Logan Phelps. So still on the run. She is on the run. She is on the hunt. highway when she meets a man named Isaiah. Isaiah tells Ethel that he's on his way to California and asks if she wants to join him. Thinking this is what she needs to escape Texas after being on

the run following Logan's death, Ethel jumps in Isaiah's truck and the two take off and head to California. For Ethel, this is a chance to not only escape, but to free yourself from religious trauma and her past abuse. As the two spend a lot of time together on the road and in various motels, they become completely infatuated with each other, finally arriving in California at the end of the song. In California is like heaven. That's one of my notes. Yeah.

And like I, yeah, there's something about like the visual of Ethel on the run completely alone. Thinking about all of the men in her life. Like the one true love that left her and like was probably the one. good man in her life. Dad, deadbeat, awful. And then Logan, deadbeat. And then this guy comes and he's like, you know, do you want to get out of dusty Texas where like the cops want to murder you because you like were in a shootout and like go with me

to California, which is like, I feel like that's a very interesting location to choose because like everybody thinks that California is so perfect. You know, he's not like, oh, do you want to escape with me to like. Wisconsin. Sorry, Steph. You want to go? You want to go to with? But like, it's like this thing where like, you know, everybody thinks that everything in California is like so perfect.

You know, and like in reality, it's just the same as any other state. You know, there's some people that think that Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, New York are like the best states to live in. Yeah. I'd much rather live in Wisconsin than New York, by the way. In Indiana, than New York, by the way. Lately. I know all the authors are coming here. I know.

guys have everything i know so crazy except i do have i do have access to i do have access to canada which is yeah kind of what's keeping me here but other than that yeah um but i think this is like the most like country western kind of like this is definitely what you listen to with the windows down when it's really hot and then like wind blowing through your hair if that's your vibe and it's like what they're doing that's the cool part. It mimics where we're out in this story. It kind of reminds me of the music video

to Into You by Ariana Grande where they're in like this like dusty motel in the desert at night and she's like with the guy and like there's like obviously attraction and connection and like all of this. Oh yeah. You know?

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Back when she had long hair I know. I hope the long pony comes back. It looked completely different. Anyway. Had her black sense. She hadn't glinda fined yet.

I could cut that part out. I couldn't stop myself. Probably. Those TikToks crack me up, though, that, like, show her voice changing. What she was. was like, I know. And I've always been like an Ariana fan and I'm like, you know, yeah, I'll give you a pass, I guess, but also very crazy. Whatever. It seems like you had a lobotomy. I'm not a big, I'm not a big fan of thoroughfare. Okay. Yeah. It's not my favorite. I think it's because I know

Isaiah's a jerk bag. Um, I also. Also, it's very production-wise, chef's kiss, lyric-wise, it's very light. I think there's one... For you. It's light for this album. It's kind of light, and it's a little repetitive. But like, I guess the lyric that stands out most, that kind of encompasses the song and what is going on with Ethel and Isaiah is when she sings.

And you said, hey, do you want to see the West with me? because love's out there and I can't leave it be. And I said, honey, loves never meant much to me, but I'll come with you if you're sure it's what you need. And I feel like that's kind of Ethel being like, like, loves never meant much to me is a lie compared to like her relationship with Willoughby and Logan. So like I feel like that's her seeing her way out, but also trying to do what a lot of people do in the beginning of a relationship. even though Ethel didn't know that she and Isaiah were going to be like we're going to be attracted to each other the more time they spent together, which is kind of what the song's about is like them meeting, not realizing that they were going to like fall for each other. And then like the more time they spend together, the more they do. But like it's almost like in the beginning of a relationship or like when you first started dating somebody like you kind of want to be the cool girl.

You want to be the cool guy. That's what I was going to say. You want to be the cool day. That Lizzo song. could have had a bad bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My references are so random to that. Your references are so on point, but like also the complete opposite of the album. You know what I mean? Like we're like Ariana Grande, Ethel Cain and then Taylor Swift's

Applecane and then Lizzo Hemelcane. Like yeah, yeah. That's what the people want to do. Like, you know, there are some people like men, women, non-binary, that, like you want to be the cool person when you meet somebody you're not I'm not gonna show my crazy side I'm not gonna seem needy I'm not gonna show like I'm just like whatever like it flow and it's kind of like 10 things it's also no what is it

how to lose a guy in 10 days where like you know like she kind of like plays the game of like like I had a guy that I was dating was like oh do you want to watch the Super Bowl and I was like oh my god so excited for I can't wait to watch the Super Bowl with you know can't wait to watch the Super Bowl with you know can't wait to watch the Super Bowl with you. Then he realized that mistake when we watched the Super Bowl and I had like 50 football questions

because I was like, this is not. And he's like, why are you excited? And I was like, I don't know. I don't know why I was excited. I lied. I lied to you. I feel like it also, the other interpretation or like an additional one is like she's so fucking tired of love like being disappointing. So like even though she did love other people, it just has sucked so far. So, like, is it also, like, or it could also be her, like, starting to put up her own walls where she's like, I don't really care about love anyway. Like, you saw that big of the deal. Yeah, like, and love never meant anything to me.

Yeah. Maybe also her realizing that anyone she has loved, it's, like, gone up in a flame. Not that. I got the thumbs up on my side. I know. I was trying to be like, huh? I was like, what? What about that?

But like, yeah, like dad, abusive, Logan, abusive. Willoughby, like, listen, I know Willoughby's not a bad guy. But like, you know in your soul. I know in my soul, Willoughby's not a bad guy. But like, she loved him and he left. So like, abandonment issues. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. So that's the affair. And now we go on. to Gibson Girl, which when I first heard, when I was like, this is the sexiest song I've ever heard in my entire life. And you're like, and then I was like, oh my goodness. It's another great one where she's using the like style to juxtapose. Yeah. And it's almost like the music and the feel of it and the instruments are like what would be going on in her mind. Like it's very much like this is the vibe So now that they're in California

Ethel's life takes a more dark and disturbing turn The fairy tale of Ethel and Isaiah abruptly ends As Isaiah begins to pump Ethel full of drugs And pimp her out of the back of strip clubs While also becoming abusive I mean We do Yeah while being abusive himself

Ethel begins to lose her grip on reality as Isaiah tells Ethel that if sex feels good, then it can't be bad, gaslighting her into believing that she's enjoying it and that it's not actually against her will as he pimps her out. Forced to have sex with men for money, Ethel leaves her religion behind for good as the sex symbolizes the glory of doing something she isn't supposed to do, ultimately rebelling against the church. So Gibson Girl is sexy sounding and conflicted on the inside. Bleak. Yeah, there were a couple things this reminded me of. I haven't been able to stop talking about girl on girl by Sophie Gilbert, which is how the early 2000s media turned women against each other. But one of the things it talks about is like rap started to object. women more and more.

After the industry started to say, like, you need to stop being so political. Think like NWA. Fuck the police. The police saying it like that sounded so weird for that song. But like the industry was like you need to move away from political stuff. And then women were getting very heavily like sexualized and objectified and rap as we all know. But the book was like the thing that introduced me to the concept of. like sometimes women can think they are being empowered because of this.

Bruce, it's an air conditioner. Oh, was it mine? In New York. Sorry. No, it's not like he needs to chill. Oh, my gosh. Okay. So what this song really is honing in on to you is sometimes it feels like it is

empowering if you've come from an extremely restrictive place. So sometimes you're like, I do want to be objectified. you want to do this. Like, this is my choice when really, like, it could be culture or your shitty boyfriend that's, like, actually making you do something. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's, like, kind of, how do I say it?

It's kind of, like, also referencing how, like, I'm assuming in their sex life, they've felt, like, sex with him has felt good. sex with other people has felt good. But like, even though he's like forcing her to sleep with other men, he's like, oh, like sex is like such a like, like, sex makes you feel good. So like, you know, it can't be really bad. It's kind of like referencing also like or so it's kind of like to me also referencing, um, we've heard it before and like various media where women who are sexually assaulted will say that they were assaulted, they did not want to have sex with somebody, and toxic men and really shitty people try to use the argument of them having an orgasm,

even though they were assaulted as saying that that doesn't count as assault. Which is just insane. So, um... That's like the people, gosh, don't even get me started about women's reproductive, right? right now, good God. I know. It's like the people that are like, and these were my parents too. Like I remember hearing that have these kinds of conversations.

They're like about abortion. And they're like, well, if your body, if you were raped, your body has a way of not, just knowing and you just wouldn't get pregnant. And if it was like that. And if you did get pregnant, it's because like you were wanting to. have sex and I'm like, are you kidding me right now? That is? I don't, I.

It was in the same context of how my parents explained like why being gay is wrong. And it was like, it's simple. The parts don't line up. I just remember them saying that over and over again. Like, why were they talking about this so much around me? It's simple. the parts don't match up. And I'm like, actually, they think they can.

You're like, you were like, if he turns around, they do. I think there's a couple different ways. There are a couple different openings. There's all kinds of stuff. There's a lot. Yeah, there's a lot. Especially if you're imaginative. Mm-hmm.

And a little who are like, hmm. Yes. That too. Um. So I love the sound of this song, but like obviously now that I listen to it, I'm like, Ethel. I got to go get you. I got to go get you, girl.

You're like, why do I keep loving these songs? I know, I know, right? Well, I heard this one. I was like, oh, this is like kind of like a sexy one. And then like their, the lyrics kind of popped in and like certain times. And it was like, oh, I guess not. First I thought I was about a toxic relationship. But then when I kind of got into the lore of the album, I was like, well.

It's not not about that. Yeah. She sings, you came alone to me from however far away asking me to know how I know you're all the same. This guy pretending to be like the white, like the guy on the white horse. Come to California with me. Like everything is beautiful here. And then like turning out to be like Logan, like her father, possibly worse. Yeah.

Realizing that like all men are the same in her experience. except for Willoughby, just, but still kind of loving him. Mm-hmm. My favorite lyric is, obsession with the money, addicted to the drugs, says he's in love with my body, that's why he's fucking it up. Oh, my God, yeah. Like, her almost making excuses for him or also, like, still looking for love and some sort of abuses. Yeah.

It's so sad. And then another tattoo lyric and my last one for the Gibson girl is, and if you hate me, please don't tell me. Because like no matter how he treats her, she's going to consider it to be some form of love. Yeah. And then, you know, but she won't believe that he hates her. Right.

Based on how he treats her unless he actually says, I hate you. Yeah, it's like, as long as he just is saying, he loves her. Yes. Yeah. And it's like, he just loves my. body. That's what he's doing to my body. Yeah. Yeah. No.

I know. The saddest. It's sad. It just keeps getting sadder. I'm just like, like, look at you the next one. I'm like, oh, yes. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, this is why.

Like, I can't believe strangers was your your in route. Girl. Right? Yeah. Yeah. It's like people think that like when I say that like the end of act one is hard times that like things are going to change and they just don't. No. This is a tragedy. Yeah. This is triumph. This is definitely an Americana tragedy. Potolamia. A little bit more experimental. Which the reason is is because this song is about Ethel being under the influence of drugs and in a complete haze hallucinating and condominating and conundated. confronting the darkness. Potola Maya is from Dante's Inferno and a section of the ninth circle of hell where traitors reside.

The song is distorted, disturbing, and ending with Ethel screaming at Isaiah to stop. Yeah, not the fun drug trip that you're looking for with hallucinogenics. The only lyric I have from that one is... It's kind of repetitive, I think. It's very repetitive. The lyrics are very, like, more... a lot more experimental and it's kind of that yeah ambient like she is hallucinating yeah but there's one part that just breaks my heart where she says that she's buckled on the floor when night comes

along daddy's left and mama won't come home so she's pretty helpless at this point yeah yeah there's really not much else um to say about that one other than i feel's hallucinating the drugs are probably, I'm assuming that she's fighting him more. Trying to, yeah. And he's giving her more drugs than she's used to. And so we move on to August Underground, which is the first of two instrumental tracks. This one is named after a famous pseudo-snuff film.

And this is a song in which Isaiah has now murdered Ethel. the distorted voices in the song and disturbing instrumental reflect ethel's slow and painful death yeah this is a hard one to listen to because it's very this is what you picture in a horror movie as you're being murdered yeah um so ethel is no longer with us as of now she has passed um murdered um when then we go in into televangelism, the second instrumental track. Complete opposite of August Underground, the music is the lighter piano track symbolizing

her soul ascending to heaven, mentioned that although she's free, the off-key part in the end have fans divided. While some believe these are Ethel's synapses snapping as she's dying, others compare it to a camera and question if Isaiah filmed her murder. Wow. so wow yeah see those are two very different interpretations dark either way yeah and i think that's like very interesting about like a lot of her music there's um there's a lot of of one of the visuals i'm going to send you that people will be able to see um is a missing poster

in which ethel is um it has the information about when she went missing um that she was like seen knocked out by a blonde man who is Isaiah and thrown in the back of a truck and that's where she's like never seen again. A lot of people are divided on if that is thoroughfare when they meet and he asked, oh, do you want to go to California? If she's truly the unreliable narrator and romanticizing her abduction, which would lead into Gibson girl. And then a lot of people would assume that this was the missing poster in which he, he knocks her out and throws her in the back of the truck would be before August underground, her trying to escape.

So that's what people think they don't, you know, it's either one. So then we move into sun bleached flies, which I love. Very religious. It sounds gospel, not gospely, but worship music. Yeah. Yeah. This song features Ethel now in heaven. She's made peace with her life and is reflecting on her time on earth,

as well as her family in Willoughby Tucker, the man she sang about in a house in Nebraska. In death, she searches for the comfort of the religion she once abandoned. Comparing the men who failed to protect her to Jesus, she sings that God loves you, but not enough to save you. So baby girl, good luck taking care of yourself. Ethel forgives and lets goes of those who hurt her. and makes peace with her faith.

The song ends wishing she could go back to the house in Nebraska and the only man who she ever truly, whoever truly showed her love, Willoughby Tucker. We have different experiences with religion compared to this. There is something a little comforting for me with how sad Ethel's story is that she finally finds peace in the afterlife with religion and is kind of like happier with it than. Yeah. But it's very, very sad. Did you watch, did you end up watching Heretic with, um,

Hugh Lory, right? That's his name? Yeah. Without giving too many spoilers, that's like actually is kind of, Hugh Grant, thank you. Hugh Lory's house, right? I knew it sounded wrong. Yeah, Hugh Lorry's house. Hugh Grant is heretic. Oh yeah, they even kind of look like each other. that you're just full of information yes this one was Hugh Grant that was the other one I was just

talking to someone about how like I had like five really great favorite movies from last year and I just haven't had there have been some good ones anyway heretic was one of them that like I'm still thinking about it to this day but it's kind of it uses horror to be basically a thought experiment about religions at large. And so I'm not trying to give me anything away, but it explores the part where it's like the comfort of religion serves a purpose or even spirituality. So it kind of reminds me of that too. I just think it's very interesting that she decided to not have this be the last song on the

album. Right. Oh, God. because it's very peaceful and it's kind of like a full circle moment where she starts off a little like rebellious and a little unhappy and then has all these horrible things happen to her and then like you know now she's made peace with it um and then there's more to come but yeah i'm interested on your interpretation of this last one um because i was even in the reddit threads exploring it yeah there's a lot. My standout lyric from Sun Bleach Flies is I'm still praying for the house in Nebraska by the highway out on the edge of town

dancing with the windows open. I can't let go when something's broken. It's all I know and it's all I want now. Even in death and finally coming to some peace, it's like Ethel's reflecting on the last time she was happy was when she was in the house in Nebraska with Will of Utah. Oh. Poor Ethel. Um, okay. Strangers. The one that started it for you.

Strangers. The one that. Um, if you want to end the episode now and keep it on a happy note for your sanity and peace, that's completely fine. A happier note. You can, you can end it with sun bleach flies and we'll see you next time. if you want the epilogue of the album and the darkest track, then we'll introduce you to strangers. In this song, Ethel addresses Isaiah and what he's done to her in the afterlife. After murdering Ethel, Isaiah keeps her in the freezer in his basement only to ultimately cannibalize her.

As Ethel turns in her grave, which happens to be Isaiah's stomach, she questions if she's making him feel sick multiple times. times. Each time emphasizing a different feeling from the fear of what's been done to her to the anger of what Isaiah is doing to the sadness as she hopes that by ingesting her, Ethel will make Isaiah sick to his stomach. Not even in death can Ethel truly be free from the pain that men in her life have put her through, only that her memory lies in a Polaroid in evidence. Although she tried to be good in life, she was ultimately met with a gruesome death. Ethel can also see from beyond, that her mother is still waiting at home, hoping she will return and haunted by the image of Ethel on the side of the milk carton. The song ends with Ethel crying out to her mother, don't worry about me in these green eyes. Mama just know that I love you and I'll see you when you get here. Leaving the saddest Easter egg toward what is to come in the family tree as Ethel hopes that her mother will move on and no longer dwell on her death. Okay, so much here. so I saw so there's like this idea that she's also like in a fridge right isn't that part of it or a freezer yeah yes so and his but and then like the stomach part can be um taken literally that he's literally eating her or I saw some people also talking about the metaphor that like he just consumed her life basically yes so

there's a there's a lyric in the song where she refers to herself as a freezer bride that's what it is yeah and then she says you devoured her like smoked bovine hide yeah and she says i never considered myself tough which is alluding to not tough as in a strong tough person but as her meat meat her guess yes yes yeah and then later on she sings am i turning in your stomach am i making you feel sick and that's and that was the thing that stuck out to you did you know it were you interpreting it that way the first time you heard it no i was assuming not no i this as my introduction to ethelcane i heard like am i turning in your stomach and am i making you feel sick i'm like yeah like is what you did to me and how you treated me is it making you

not be able to eat sick to your stomach. I hope that like you, because obviously you know that when you're that upset about something or when something's really bothering you, like it does affect your appetite. So like that was my interpretation. Even when I listened to the song, I was like, freezer bride reference completely over my head. Funny, I never considered myself tough. Yeah. you're not, it's so, over my head.

It's why the metaphor is so brilliant. And the devoured her like smoke bovine hide, I was like, that's very interesting. But I also know how like poetic and like deep her lyrics can go. So like I did not think about it. The thing that kind of put me on to, I love the song so much, the thing that kind of put me on to being like something's not right here is the outro when she's singing about this man who did her wrong and then all of a sudden she's talking about her mother and like just know that I love you and I'll see you when you get here. I'm like what does she like what does that have to do with

anything? You know? Yeah, you didn't know she was dead at all at this point. Yeah. The thing that really stuck out to me that I was like this is a little darker is um, the lyric one of my standout lyrics is am I no good with my memory restricted to a polaroid in evidence? And I was like, that you can't take

subjectively. Yeah. You know, like, there, the only memory that she believes people have of her is a picture of her in a police evidence locker. Mm-hmm.

You know, so that was the one I was like, what is that mean? Yeah. I also thought, I thought this song was very sexual. at first because there's a lyric of you're so handsome when I'm all over your mouth.

Now I realize what she means by that. And then just tell me I'm yours if I'm turning in your stomach and I'm making you feel sick. I feel like it's very interesting where she says like, am I making you feel sick? Am I making you feel sick? Am I making you? And each one has a different emotion behind it. Like one sounds terrified. One sounds extremely angry.

One sounds confused. And like that's kind of the thing that like made me be like, I think, there's more to this song than I originally thought of. And then I kind of like looked things up and like when I saw things, I was like, this must be somebody who's like, maybe looking too far into things. But I think because I listen to the song so much to help me with what I was going through, you know how TikTok works. Oh yeah.

It keeps popping up on your TikTok. And then I keep getting all of the TikToks that they were like when you, hear strangers by Ethel Cane and you don't realize it's about a cannibal. I was like, okay, so no, this is, then that's what kind of got me into the lore of, of the album. And what a way to end it. I know. It is cool when artists, like, say the same thing and change it, and it just, like, slowly changes each time.

Yeah. That part's really cool. Yeah. I like this. the don't talk to strangers or you might fall in love. Yeah. Because that's like kind of like about like obviously like average not going into this lore of the album.

You're just like, okay, like protect yourself, right? Like the more you talk to strangers, the more you can fall in love. But it's kind of like after like everything that she's gone through and like all the men you've been introduced to. It's like Willoughby Tucker was a stranger, left her heartbroken. Logan Phelps was a stranger. She fell in love with him. and he was like abusive.

Isaiah pimped her out forcefully sex trafficked her, murdered her, and then cannibalized her. Yeah. In the woods in California.

Mm-hmm. Those supposed to be her heaven. I'm also, if she does turn this into a book, which I'm really hoping she does, I want to know when we find out what happened to Isaiah. yeah because the album I hope something does yeah but like how do you just

like Logan I was like okay if this were a movie or a book or a TV show or something Logan I feel like it would be like a cheap cop out for him just to get shot by the cops in a shootout and die but like because he was such a dirt bag you want to see something you want to see him punished but I'm like what if Isaiah just moves on to be like the soccer dad and just like kind of forgets about that dark time in his life where like he was so in love with somebody that he can't blithe him. So that is

the preacher's daughter. That's the preacher's daughter. And this is the end of the story of Ethel Cain, but there's more to come from the storyline. Hayden is working on a novel of the story as well as a movie adaptation.

And she did state that this is in fact the first of a trilogy of albums featuring the Cain Woman. Album 2, we'll get the perspective from the Preacher's wife and Ethel's mother, Vera. And album three is set to be Joseph Kane's mother, Ethel Kane, Sr. So you'll probably get more of Joseph and what he was like prior to his death in the storyline with those. So while we wait to hear from Vera out now is the prequel album, Willoughby Tucker, I'll Always Love You, which is the story of Ethel and Willoughby prior to the events of Preacher's daughter in a house in Nebraska.

Nettles is my favorite song in the entire world. It's also my favorite Epple King song. Oh yeah. Yeah. So that's what you have to look forward to if you enjoyed this episode.