Bookwild - Marshall Karp's Don't Tell Me How to Die: A Family Saga, A Dying Woman Looking for Her Replacement, and A Wild Third Act

Episode Date: March 23, 2025

Today, Gare and I talk with Marshall Karp about his book that we all loved (Gare, Steph and me) Don't Tell Me How To Die. He shares the inspiration for the book and how his determination to get the story right delivered us one of our new favorite books!SynopsisI have one thing to do before I die.And time is running out.I had it all: a fantastic husband, two great kids, an exciting career. And then, at the age of forty-three, I found out I would be dead before my next birthday.My mother also died at forty-three. I was seventeen, and she warned me that women would flock to my suddenly single father like stray cats to an overturned milk truck. They did. And one absolutely evil woman practically destroyed his life, mine, and my sister’s.I am not letting that happen to my family.I have three months, and I plan to spend every waking minute searching for the perfect woman to take my place as Alex’s wife, and mother to Kevin and Katie.You’re probably thinking, she’ll never do it. Did I mention that in high school I was voted “Most Likely to Kill Someone to Get What She Wants”?From thriller writer Marshall Karp (cocreator with James Patterson of the #1 New York Times bestselling NYPD Red series), and rich with Karp’s deft array of three-dimensional characters and his signature biting humor, Don’t Tell Me How to Die has so many twists and turns, you’d swear he wrote it with a corkscrew. Get Bookwild MerchCheck Out My Stories Are My Religion SubstackCheck Out Author Social Media PackagesCheck out the Bookwild Community on PatreonCheck out the Imposter Hour Podcast with Liz and GregFollow @imbookwild on InstagramOther Co-hosts On Instagram:Gare Billings @gareindeedreadsSteph Lauer @books.in.badgerlandHalley Sutton @halleysutton25Brian Watson @readingwithbrian 

We have a little bit of a bonus episode with this one because if you have listened to episodes with Gare and Steph, Marisha reads a lot on Instagram, Marisha. She sent this book to Gare and so then he had to read it. And then Gare and Steph both read it and they're like, you have to read it. And I was like, I will request it and let's hope I get it. And I got it a week later and I read it. And we all just love this book so much. And so Gare and I just had to take the opportunity to talk with Marshall Carp about his new thriller, Don't Tell Me How to Die, which is a really cool mashup of both family drama and sister relationships and a thriller. It does both so well. There's so much emotional depth. And then the last 25% straight thriller craziness.

So we just had to talk to Marshall, but this is the synopsis. for anyone who hasn't read it yet. I have one thing to do before I die, and time is running out. I had it all. A fantastic husband, two great kids, an exciting career,

and then, at the age of 43, I found out I would be dead before my next birthday. I was 17, and she warned me that women would flock to my suddenly single father

like stray cats to an overturned milk truck. They did, and one absolutely evil woman practically destroyed his life, mine, and my sisters. I am not letting that happen to me.

my family. I have three months and I plan to spend every waking minute searching for the perfect woman to take my place as Alex's wife and mother to Kevin and Katie. You're probably thinking she'll never do it. Did I mention that in high school I was supposed to most likely to kill someone to get what she wants? This is purposely vague. You want it to be vague, but also it tells you the premise that you're coming here for. You'll hear us talk about it, but we all just felt like it was such a unique thriller. It has such a specific premise to it, which is kind of nice. Sometimes you're reading somewhat similar premises, premises. And we just all loved the emotional depth, the relationships, and the wild final act. So if that doesn't make you want to go by it right now,

this conversation with Marshall will. Actual recording is higher quality. I like that. So that, okay, so you're telling me that I will come off much better than I do. This writer is much higher quality than he appears. You're going to be the best looking one out of all three of us. Oh, stop. Oh, no, no, don't get me started. I did lose 25 pounds. Nice work.

But, yeah, I mean, I don't look at, well, you know, I think it's, Because the camera adds 10 pounds and there's like three, three fucking cameras in this thing. But, no, I did the shots. Same. I've lost 30. And they're, you know, they cause migraines. No, they're terrible, but they work. They work.

I am slowly, I'm coming off it because now the trick, you know. Yeah. I do know what you mean. Well, you look camera ready, in my opinion. Amen. Yeah. I watch a lot of these podcasts, and all these women are drinking white wine out of crystal. And this is like sludge in a mug.

It's just chai tea, that's all. Ooh, I love chai. Well, if we were in person, I'd be drinking tequila. I have electrolytes. on the other side of the spectrum. They have a program for people like you, but Oh, we're glad to have you all more often. Oh, yeah, well, you're going to be regular.

Oh, yeah, well, that's what my doctor said after I stopped taking their fucking shots. Oh, I forgot, I forgot to ask you. No cursing. No, you can curse. We definitely do. Oh, oh, well, I, I hope that woman who gives. four stars. We're not the podcast for her. She's worried about language. Dr. Lewis saved my life.

Four stars. I mean, you know, give me a break. That fifth star was because he didn't do it fast enough. Yeah. Oh, Reddit had this whole thing where they wrote up, everybody's going,

well, if your goddamn magazines in the, and, you know, in the waiting room, we're back from the Nixon era. And, you know, it's just, well, if, you know, you saved his life, but it wasn't worth that much. You're lucky to get forced to. I mean, it was just on and on. The Redditors went crazy.

Yeah. Reddors are not, reddors are not by and large known for their positive spirit. But, no. But they are funny. They're so. They are so. I mean, I mean, evil. My kind of people, but I don't wonder, like, have them judge me because.

Same. They're going to give you inspiration for your next book. Probably. I not only have inspiration for my next book, my next book, which is the eighth in the NYPD Red series that I created for Jane Patterson and took over a couple of books ago. NYPD Red 8, the 1159 bomber. My attention. Yeah, right. The city that never sleeps is afraid to get out of bed.

And I'm on chapter 77, and I probably will wrap it up at chapter 80, so I'm like, and yeah, that's why I look like, that's why I look like crap. You don't. No, I just, my wife and I had Mike for Biglia tickets for, I know, for Saturday night in New York City. I know, I bought the tickets in July, and now I'm not going Saturday because I have to finish this book. Oh. And because when I was away last weekend, my dog, Charlie, who's a rescue, and he, he, he was abused. He was from Texas.

He's abused. And now he loves me and he feels safe with me. And when I go away, even a friend takes care of him. But so, he went through separation. You know, right. On the other hand, when my wife is in New York, when I leave, it's like, bye.

Yeah. That's what happens eventually. This is not coming off like an author interview podcast. And I'm just, I'm taking you guys off the rails. So I'm sorry. No, you're not. People just like to listen to us, have a good conversation with some of the book they love. I actually, that's why I saw the last one.

You were with Kate and Steph. Right. And it was fun watching you. And then I watched Gergo, something about. about what would I love. You talked about the fact that it stayed with me. I mean, there are people I haven't seen in years, and I have thought, I mean, this book, and I go like,

that's a writer's dream. I bet. I mean, a lot of this stuff that I have written, I mean, I'm a different writer than Jim Patterson. And I'm not just about the plot. I really go for character. But they're all kind of, I could read it on the airplane, give it to the flight attendant when I'm done, you know.

But this is, I have a lot of people, friends, my just, I read it again where I bought the podcast, and January Levoy is, oh, my God, I cried at the podcast. The cred when it's raining and aggrat. She's, I don't, you know her professionally, right? I don't, but, no, I don't, but you know, you know her work or people talking. Yes, yes, right. But I've gotten to know her, you know, just talk to her on the phone with,

sweetheart, as absolutely incredibly nice as, and doesn't take herself seriously. she's absolutely as wonderful behind the scenes as she is when she's doing a reading. That's awesome. Total, total, pro, total, total, terrific woman. I love her. Yeah. She's great. That's great.

Well, we're kind of talking about how your book stuck with people. I think it really struck an emotional chord with a lot of people in a lot of different scenes. So where did this story idea come for you? And like how emotionally invested were you while you were writing it? Oh, God. That's a great question. And let me go back seven years around this time of year. I had finished writing NYPD Reds.

Red 6 for Jim Patterson. It was 2018. It wasn't due to come out to 2019, and I knew I could write Red 7. I got to be like, what I've done before, is this all there is? Is this what I'm going to keep doing?

So my frame of mind, after 14 books, crime fiction. And I did this when I was in advertising. 39 years old, it was top of the food chain. And 100 people working for me, and they were paying me extra not to write. And I needed to write.

I threw it all the way. I'd like to say we bought a double wide. But no, we just, you know, we cut back on streaming services or something. But eventually, I left and went to L.A. and worked until I wanted to write. So that was my frame of mind.

I want to write a book that means something. Not the one that's not easy to write, but that I know I can and then just one night I was with my family and Maggie showed up in my head.

They do that. You know, they do that. And suddenly I'm talking to this woman and she's going, you know, I'm dying. And she said, you know, I have something that I have to do. I mean, I'm, and I knew right. I knew she was successful.

She was bright. She was like me. My wife's nickname for me is Mike, last name, Roe Manager. Maggie ran the world. You know, she was a bit of a control freak. you know, as we point out in her sister. I said, well, and you want to do what? She said, I'd have to find my husband's next wife

and my kid's next mom. I said, sounds like he's a good guy. Guy point of view, he won't have any problem. She said, no, I'm sure that. He's a surgeon. The nurses will jump on, the technicians, the patients, the ones that, you know, if they can walk, you know. I said, she said, but no, I'm not letting that happen.

I said, like, why? And then it took us a while to figure out that when her mom died young, same problem. Her dad was, you know, as I said on the cover, you know, he was like, you know, women pounced on him like, like stray cats on an overturned milk truck. I mean, it was like, gimme. And, you know, feeding frenzy. And of course, as happens, the wrong woman got him. In fact, I just got somebody who like absolutely loved it. She just couldn't shut up about the book on YouTube. And I wrote something to her. And she said, there were two Connie. Connie is the woman who pounced on that.

There were two Connie's in my father's life, two of them. I said, well, not for me to judge, but I am going to say that the first Connie, your father was definitely a victim. Second Connie, he was probably a volunteer. So, you know, trust me. I have experience in this area. He's a man. Two Connie's is like one Connie too much,

but Maggie saw what happened, and it was true. I mean, this woman, so I figured I'd write three, four, five backstory chapters on what happened. Could not do it. Couldn't stop writing. Could not. It just got better and better and better. And it's like the backstory, which is really woven,

throughout the book, but it's a lot of, it's like 30 chapters. And the book, the timeline in the book references the funeral, and then it's like three months before the funeral, but then it's 26 years before the funeral. We have to know what, I needed, I wanted everybody to love Maggie as much as I did, and accept her for her faults. I really believe that characters have to have warts and flaws and podcasters too. And I think I picked up on a couple of yours here. But no, don't you agree.

You don't want, you don't want Pauline Pureheart. You're too young for that. But, you know, you don't want, you want the character. And so a lot of readers said, ooh, I really hated Maggie when she did that. But I kind of understood it a little because she was 17 and she knew she's got this, this, you know, condition of Democles hanging over her head. So, yeah, that was what put it all together. And you talked about my emotional involvement.

Well, I got, you know, everybody says, well, you're a best-selling author number one. Yeah, yeah, well, you know what? publishers don't look at that. It's not like, what have you done? It's what can you do for me? And so they read the book and they go, I don't know, I don't know if people, I don't like the character, it's the arc,

and it's like the story. You're, oh, Marshall, you're a really good writer. So, and for that reason, like Shark Tank, for that reason I will pass, you know, but, but they didn't buy it. So I said two words. One's a verb, one's a pronoun. And then I said, okay, I'm writing it again.

By the way, the first draft was all chronological. And I've written movies. I know you don't do it. I just thought somebody in the publishing business would say, dude, you got, you get some workable stuff here. It's not the way the business works. And it didn't. worked that way a long time ago, but not for me. I've been doing it for 19 years.

It was, right? You've read all those great stories. I've written a story about this woman who was writing this novel. This was like, I guess, the 30s or something. And she had a manuscript. And she called her agent or her publisher. And she said, I hate that. I hate that. it. It's not working. I can't write. I'm in a hotel on Park Avenue, New York City. And I just threw all the pages out the window. And he said, I want you to go downstairs and pick up every bleep and page, you know, now. And she did. And she called him back and said, all right, I did. Now what? And he goes, all right, now Harper Lee, you're going to do. to sit down and finish to kill a mockingbird because this is going to be a great book.

Wow. She threw it away, documented. By the way, authors, we're nuts. And I just, you know, I couldn't, I couldn't stop. I got, I got rejected. I finally put it down and wrote NYPD read seven, I wrote, snowstorm in August and I kept going. I'm going back again.

I spent a lot of time. I've said this before, but spoiler alert, I did not grow up as a teenage girl. And so I spent a lot of time with women saying, is this notion, read the book, and they go, honey, we don't like sex in the morning as much as you say we do. And we are also, and we don't, and no, a woman would never do that to, no, she wouldn't do that with her man or kids or her friends.

And little by little I started to get her right and get to, but I also asked 50 women what they would do if they were in Maggie's shoes. And how many do you think they said they would do exactly what she did? did. Probably a lot of them. Zero. Really? None of them said I would go out and find my husband's next wife. They didn't even think of that. It was like, we'll go to Disney World, we'll have dinners. Well, I guess I'm going to have to give my husband my passwords. And then one woman who I love, and then I told, I said this to her about a couple of months ago, she said, I did not say that. I said, yeah, you did.

I take you. I said, so what would you do if you knew you were dying and, you know, Michael was, she will, I would go out and get an STD. I give it to Michael and then let's see if the bastard gets laid. So nobody thought like, oh, well, thank you. No, but nobody. Hey, by the way, there's a support group for that. They meet at the bar at 5 o'clock. No, so the deal is nobody wanted to be like,

and nobody thought of it, and I thought, I love that. I'm not going to write about a woman who would go, and so I'm going to Disney World with the kids. I wanted a woman that you could love, you could hate. You had her admirers. She's got stones. And also, and this came to me on day one, I swear to God, when Maggie says this in some of the commercials, it's on the jacket of the book, she tells you what she's planning to do. She's going to find this woman.

And I know it sounds like a difficult job to do in three months. but did I tell you that in high school I was voted most likely to kill someone to get what she wants boom when Maggie said that to me I go well now you're talking

but I I have people who send me these podcasts and these reviews online and they're all going it says it's a thriller and it's not. I don't care. I love the drama. It's so much fun to read. It's the family. And then what the and then I, I, um, that is for a writer, that's, that's like porn hub for a writer. That's like that I absolutely, nobody says I figured it out in chapter 17. You're right. Nobody, nobody.

But nobody, at the last five words, you're still going, ah, that too. I'm like, I'm teasing your audience, but how about I shut up and you tell them why to go to the library and get the book. But if there's a long list of people waiting for the book, they can go to whatever. I mean, it's actually on big promotion on Bookbub right now. Nice. It's tell them that it's worth it. For God's sakes. Shut me up.

It is worth that. Oh, no, no. Come on. Yeah. Yeah, well, pimp me, pimp me, pin me. We talk a lot about unconventional women on here. So we were the target audience for that, which is probably why I was like all the women would do it, right? Could you define unconventional women?

I mean, besides this woman I talked about who only gives four stars, no matter what, I mean, I think most people these days are unconventional, or at least they're changing. So. That's a good point. But no, it's not even a point. It's not a point. I mean, I want to, what's unconventional? Well, yes, granted, well, you're right.

I asked 50 women what they would do and they'd all say I'd spend. time with my family. Right. Oh, and I'd make a scrapbook and I'd videotape and I, you know, blah, blah, blah. You know, and, you know, and I, you know, poison that old pair who spent the summer with this last year and blew my, never mind. Kick me. You can kick me off.

I think that in a situation like this, in a story. like this, everybody's used to reading it from the new woman's point of view, right? It's always the wife is already dead. Now the woman's moving in, whether she has good intentions or not. So for your book to have a woman who is like, you know what, I'm used to getting everything I want. I'm used to working hard for everything I want. I'm not going to waste my time and my life training this man to be who he is today and leaving him in the hands of an incompetent woman. right all right

so cake he's he's smarter than you said okay I did warn him you know sometimes they call me dumb gear but

but it's like my new my new nickname for you is not that dumb gear not that not that not that dumb wait until the next time

you meet me I'll be well we're in the same state you know so I know. Could happen. Yeah.

So my aunt used to read my books. She passed at almost 98. She came from a different world. But she was able to read them and understand and forgave the language because it was out. But when you talk about all these early adopters, all these people, are they conventional, non-conventional? They had to read the back cover that said. you know, Maggie's looking for a dying woman's desperate plan to find her husband's next wife

and be prepared to stay up all night, publishers weekly. I think some of it is also that it is a unique premise. That's kind of what we're like talking about in general here, that even the premise itself is really unique. And I think especially with like domestic thrillers, sometimes it's kind of like the same plot or it's like very similar. So I think I think the premise feels fresh and like something that we, I mean, I can't, it would be hard to comp it.

I don't know if I did comp it. I can't remember if I did. Nothing I could find. I thought, I thought Gone Girl was new and fresh and different whole other thing. But I'm, I'm remembering from a couple of weeks ago, Kate, when I saw you, you hadn't read the book and Stefan Gare had. And I'm trying to remember it was intriguing

you. There's a lot of people who are now intrigued, but they're saying, oh, the hype, the hype, I don't want to be disappointed. And then they finally do it and they go, you know, I'm on the bandwagon. Do you have the phone numbers of some of those people?

Oh, you know, you know what's actually interesting. A lot of these talk tickers, I don't know. What are you called it? What are you young? What do you call young kids? Now, I'm not, hey, it's not my first pandemic, guys. I, you know, that's a turn.

So a lot of these people, they go, like, hurry and read it so I can talk to somebody about it. And I want to go, call me. I'm right. I'll Zoom with. 12 of you who read it and just like, ask me questions. I mean, yeah, I want you to, you know, because it made me cry when I was writing it, made me crack up. It made me go, whoa, you're so good. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. You know, um, you don't want to live with a writer.

That's what it feels like reading it. I wanted to interrupt this episode really quickly. I have a goal of monetizing Book Wild, but I would love to do it without having to have ads in the podcast. And one way that I can do that is through my Patreon community. For those who don't know, Patreon is a community platform that allows creators to share what they're creating behind a paywall. And so that means exclusive content or early releases. The Book Wild Patreon has two tiers. The first tier is the bookish tier. And at that tier, you get all. all of the episodes out a day early, and you get access to our private community chat, where we can talk about anything book-related or TV shows or movies.

The second tier is the Book Wilde tier, and it includes everything from the first tier, but also Book Wild's Backlist Book Club. So this year I've been wanting to also still read more backlist, even though I read plenty of arcs, and Book Wild's Backlist Book Club felt like the perfect way to do that. We meet on Sundays. We are international right now. So Sundays are the best way to do it. And we meet on Zoom and we all pick a book and we talk about it. And then we talk about everything else we read during the month. And then we pick another book for the next month. So it's been so much fun so far. And we'd love to have you join the book club. So if you'd like to support the bookwild podcast, you can go to the Patreon link and the show notes and you can sign up for

whichever tier interests you. And if you're looking for a free way to support the show, if you can like and review it on whichever platform you listen to, that helps so much. That's the best review to have, in my opinion, is the people that are like, will you just read this fucking book? So I have somebody to talk about what their reading experience was like, because when you are going through the roller coaster of emotions and you want to know who else is like, who else is cracking up at the dialogue. Who else can't get enough of the relationship between the sisters? You know, who else didn't see certain things coming and didn't put the pieces together? Because when you're used to reading thrillers and mysteries and suspense, you are a little, you're a little cocky thinking

that you're going to be able to guess the ending. You're going to be able to, you know, figure out what's going on because you're used to looking for those clues. And then Marshall Carp comes in and, you know blows you away. Yeah. Blows you away. And it's like, no, you're not going to fucking guess the end of this. You're not going to know what's happening. And I'm going to take you on a ride and you just buckle up and shut up.

And you go on the ride with me. I love playing chess or mind games with you. I'm sitting here when I'm looking at the screen. I'm, good morning, Marshall. How do I fuck? with my readers. I mean, I,

they want to be smarter than me. Yeah. And I'm going to give them a, but, well, I mean, I've managed to most of my books,

which are not this complex, I, you don't write a book until you have an ending that's, you know, I want to win. But I love the genre

because, you read a memoir and you're kind of passive oh that guy had a life but you read a mystery and you're saying you know and it's it's fun to play the game and it's fun to do the I mean that's why Hitchcock was so good he kept them just on the edge they thought they knew everything and then but they were waiting for that, you know, whatever was off screen typically, yeah. They were waiting for that

shower scene to happen somewhere. And it's, I'm not Hitchcock. I am, but I like, you said it's a, I like to dick with my readers. You know, and I, yeah, you think you're so weak and smart. You, fill in the Gen X, Gen Z,

Jen, Jen Aniston, whatever they're called. I don't know. They're all, they're all Jens. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, keep doing, you know, I like, that's almost a back of the book quote, Gary. Read this fucking book so I can have someone I can talk to. So you have someone you can talk to about, but you can't talk about it.

Because, you know, people are watching. It's fascinating because one thing that Kate and I will agree on is that we're very into stories that are character-driven. So what I loved especially is the first part when Maggie's a teenager, you really get to know her. But you see how her personality stays with her into her adult life because sometimes you read a book like this. or something similar. And, you know, they're an asshole as a teenager. And then they grow up to be, you know, little Miss Betty Crocker.

And you're like, where'd the spunk go? You know, like, where did the, where did the sass and, you know, the most likely to kill somebody to get what they want? Where did that go? So with this, you really saw Maggie, you know, you got to see what her life was like because she's so driven, because she goes after what she wants, because she's unstoppable.

And it really, it really sticks with her. and when she's in a position like this, it just made sense to me to have someone be in this position and say like, no, I'm not going to, I'm not going to be like some other women out there and just say like when I'm dead, you know, let him do what he feels right.

I'm going to still, you know, make sure that my family's taken care of and it's not by some lunatic in Loubatons who just comes into my house and tries to take what I've built. Yeah. You know, it's, I don't know how old you are, but you said Betty Crocker, so that's like something. But you're right. She just got you like 50?

No, no, no. But, but, I mean, Maggie's arc has to do with the fact that she's on this mission and she's driven and she's, her arc is kind of that most of it is like she's working against the clock. Her growth from 17 to 43 is she, you know, she's always that driven person. But I think the sleeper character, and I want to talk to you about movie casting, you know, choices. Because he developed for me, was Johnny Rolla. We meet him when Maggie's 17. She first goes over to his place, which is a total dump where they pay the rent by the week.

And he lives with his mother, and he's doing weed, he's selling weed, he's doing video games, she shows up. And she's never seen the mother there. Supposedly lives with his mother. mom. He's, he's 18. And she says, you know, so I asked him once, like, where's your mom? And he said, oh, she's on sabbatical. She's a visiting professor at Crack University. And so once you meet him like that, you go, oh, this guy, I love him. How do I make him an asshole without making him

that stereotypical asshole? And then his arc was I mean he was he really went downhill and then Maggie did him a solid and he came around

it was his redemption and I mean I'm not spoiling the book to tell you that some characters start off like teenage assholes and they actually grow up and there's still time

Gare to be you know I'm sorry. I'm sorry to make you my new, you know. Fudging bag. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, right. You put me in the next book. I could.

I don't know anything about your name. I know gear. That's it. Actually, that was a contest we just had. Three people won, one put me in my next book, but it's kind of a cool name. And we'll talk. Okay. His people will call your people.

Yeah, yeah, right. You were talking about the ending, though. You mentioned something at one point. You said maybe you don't start your book until you know the ending. So did the ending ever change without talking about what the ending is? I started the book because Maggie made me start the book. Okay. I didn't know the ending, but I didn't start writing it until I had a point of view.

how Maggie has a great story but we've established that she's she's dying and it's not going to be saying elsewhere one of those the lab report was one no the lab report was the lab report

she's that three months to live her doctor looks like that she's she's getting weaker weaker I mean I couldn't do that to the reader but they still had you know

a satisfying ending and then what's an ending that will go that guy should be locked up and so when it happened and I went no I said no way in three words and then I started but what if? And so, yeah, I, now I mean, when I wrote books for Patterson, I would know the ending, but I might change how the ending went down. I knew who the bad guy was,

but I knew how we would get him in the end. this ending is I don't want to say anymore it's just yeah that's fine it's worth yeah it's worth the first 79,000 words or whatever it is it's just um it is yeah it's hey look I love melbrook's movies and he doesn't tell people he just says he's just like hey you it's a melbrook's movie and I go see it. So if you say this is a cool book, this is a book worth reading. Why do people read books?

I mean, why do you read? To escape into somebody else's life, to get out of the world that you live in. And why do you laugh when people crack wise? Like, you know, cancer patients. They'll say something and they'll make you laugh. Well, you know, they just essentially violated your expectations. You go, oh, I didn't think it's, you know.

I mean, I've, I've been to theater and some character drops an F bomb on the stage. But if an 89-year-old woman drops an F-bomb, she gets a round of applause. It's like, oh, she's so cool. So it's all about, I will, I will dick with your expectations. I will, I will, I will make you, this book will make you laugh. It will make you cry. It will change your life. It's better than Nancy Drew.

Yes, it is. And I don't know. I was like, help me out here, guys. Yeah. No, it is. Well, we keep talking about the humor, too. And that was such a fun part of it. And I mean, all of the characters have their own kind of wit.

Or a lot of the characters have their own kind of wit. But the relationship between Maggie and Lizzie, the sister relationship, is so fun. And we jokingly kept being like, a man wrote this. Like, how? So for the sister relationship, did you talk to women about that too? you have sisters? Like, how did you do that comedy? Remember, I said if I bought the panty hose, I wouldn't know what to do it. I bought, no. I have, first of all, yeah, yeah.

It, I don't have sisters. I have two annoying brothers who ruined my life by being born. I was the first born and then they came along. I have a son and a daughter. and I know how girl, I mean, my son would be eight years old fight with a friend, and four minutes later, they'd be playing again. My daughter would be eight years old, and she'd go, I am never speaking to her again in my whole life. I mean, I, but I know how that works.

I come from like one of those families where everybody's in everybody's face. I work with a lot of cops. The cop I work with all the time, this guy who was retired NYPD. Homicide. Danny Corcoran. He tells me, you know, the motto for these cops is, when a man is down, kick him. And that's the sister thing. That's like when when Maggie's distraught about her love life going to hell, the sister bust her chops. Because that's what you do when you love somebody. You're not going to. He really loves you gear. You're not going to, you know, but you're not going to be sucked into their morass.

You're not, you know, you're not, you know, and so it's for me, it's my way. It's, it's, it's humor. You know what they say. Laughter is the best medicine unless you have diarrhea. I love that. Why have I not heard that one? Oh, did you blow? I can't tell me. No. I mean, I

just fucking make people, just don't take life so seriously. And these sisters, and it never lets up. I mean, by the way, my son and my grandson, the sense of humor,

the insent, doesn't skip, a generation. So I can call either of them and I'll say something and they will, and I mean, I'll have to laugh out loud. I'll have

to go, good one. Zinger. Zinger. You know? It's like what was Danny telling me about a cop a sergeant giving roll call with 50 guys and the cop

he said, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just my wife left me last night for another guy and someone else you in the back of the room well just look at you this is so yes but now you didn't feel sorry for the guy just now you laughed because why is it because you didn't you didn't expect it and it's funny it's funny um as melbrook said funny is when someone is walking down the street and falls down a manhole. Tragedy is when I get a splinter and I can't get it out. No, making fun of the other guy is like that's the comedy underpinnings of Lord of the Flies.

It's like, that's just funny. I liked how their relationship stayed that way too into adulthood. Oh, yeah. Right. And then you even see it with her daughter. Oh, yeah. Oh, and the two kids are kind of, the kids are, I loved creating the kids because they're twins. And Kevin is like his father.

He's just like, he's like so good looking almost. But he doesn't have his father's confidence, but he doesn't know how to deal with it. And his sister is just like her mother. She's like, you know, you know. Katie reminds me a lot of Lizzie and Maggie. Oh, right, because she, you know, she'll, she'll, she'll smoke weed right before the funeral and then stashed in her brother's pocket. She's like, she's 15. Have you ever been 15?

A long time ago. Yeah. I would say a long time ago and sometimes recently. So, you know what I mean? It's like we, yeah. And so much fun. And I actually talked to my cousin. He's one of, he has a twin sister.

He's like in his 30s now, but he was telling me about. stuff about being he was the one that's that was telling me and then she came into the room stoned and I go oh wow I can do that

yeah I know I it's just that's great hanging with you guys in terms of you can see I'm not selling this book am I am I am yes you are no I think I'm telling you how much I oh I didn't I'm not

trying I'm I'm I'm proud of this book I am telling you how much I love this book I am telling you how grateful I am for people I think who yeah I think with a podcast like this though it's it's it's like we sell the book right like we tell people what we felt as a reader reading it but people get excited for episodes like this when when you're on because they want to know what your experience was like you know and where you got this inspiration from and And they want to know these behind the scenes. It's kind of like, you know, when you, you pop a DVD in and they have those little bonus chapters that they have for movies. And you get to see what it was like making it.

And you get to see the interviews with the directors and the writers. It's like that's what this feels like. You know, like you get to see what it was like you building this from the ground up and releasing the book that people read and stick with them in love. Well, I told you before we started that my movie, which is 20, 25 years old is going to be the just looking. It's going to be the anchor movie at the Long Beach Island Film Festival the weekend of June 5th. And it's exactly what the director said to me. Jason Alexander and I are going to be there, some of the cast.

And I said, oh, my God, we have so many war stories of what, you know, how did this happen? You know, what happened on the set? And it's just people want to know that stuff. But I also spend a lot of time. I've reached a stage where a lot of people did a lot of things, going back to my high school English teacher who said, you should write. And so when my high school yearbooks is,

good luck in dental school, because that's what I thought I would be. It's really it's what I thought I'd be doing, becoming a dentist. And your welcome world that I did not because I have, I have all the dexterity of a drunken monkey, but it was like, so when I go to this thing at Long Beach Island to talk about my film, it's going to be all that stuff. But I also encourage writers.

I will talk to writers. Don't just send me email. How do I? Well, okay, here's my favorite question. How do I become a published author? And I will say there are a million people who can. stop you from becoming a published author. And there's only one person who can stop you from becoming a writer. So just sit down, stare at the keyboard. Right. Right. And then I quote

Richard Bach, the author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull, which was a bestseller over the course of two years back in the 90s before some of us were born. And it was a, a book about rejected left about a seagull with pictures who wanted to figure out the meaning of life and

it just blew up and Richard Bach said a professional author no I'm sorry he said a professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit

don't fucking quit it. And I said that to myself. And then seven years, seven drafts, you know, lots of rejection and, you know, another quote, you know, that give a man a fish, eats for a day, you know, okay, so it's give someone a book and they read for a day, teach someone to write a book and they will experience a lifetime of, paralyzing self-doubt. And that's, but that's,

that's what it is. But I just refuse to give up. And that's why I, I love that people love this book because I want to look and, I want to jump into that TikTok, thank you. I did it for you.

I didn't even think you'd like it this much. I'm really glad you, I'm really glad it knocked your socks off. I love that. Yeah, and so I've reached that stage where I want to write what I think will make people want to read. I mean, look, I was a whore in the advertising business. I was a whore in the television business. But now I'm kind of giving it away.

you might want to cut that out. Sounds really gross. It really does it. You know, are you guys real or are you AI? Last time I checked, I'm real. My AI and I do AI because I'm not, my AI doesn't write the book. the AI's are really dumb as a bunch of rocks. But no, they really are.

They don't, they can't invent. They can't make fun. But you can say to them, look, I just had somebody murder a guy in the Bronx. I want him to get to JFK and I want him to go the way as few cop cameras and private cameras as possible. Well, as you know, Marshall, the camera system in New York is not nearly as sophisticated as London and, you know, okay. And then give, and then, so if he takes the van wike and then, okay, I ask AI for stuff that, when I was writing a snowstorm in August, which is a heavy plot premise, first chapter, a helicopter with a crop duster arms, flies over central, Park and strafes all of Central Park with 4,000 pounds of cocaine. Whoa. Okay.

That's the first chapter. That's the snow story. So, and it's August. And, you know, as I always say that people like writers, so what's the purpose of one? Well, to get to know the, no, the purpose of chapter one is to get you to go to chapter too. And so that but when I went to Google

because this was before AI and asked how many pounds of cocaine would I need to strafe Central Park? It gives me the 800 number for narcotics. Before I had three guys who called me and said they want to be my sponsor. I go no

guys it's like I I'm glad that the the NSA doesn't look at at my search stuff. Right. Yeah. Yeah. What would a pedophile do? You know, that kind of.

Right. I will say when I Googled the book, you're, don't tell me how to die. The first time I googled it, I got something that said that was like, here's the suicide crisis for this vintage prevention number. And I was like, no, it's a book. Yeah. So, yeah. But yeah, there are cool ways to use AI. That's why I know a lot of people have all kinds of feelings about it,

but there are some really cool applications with it. Oh, the authors, Gil, did research. And I think we were up to back then, I was like 23% a year ago. We use AI, but AI cannot write a book. No, correct. It can't, it can't invent like you're saying. Someone just called me the other night. And I went, I won't mention the website.

I went to a website. And there was a glowing, glowing, glowing review for Don't Tell Me How to Die. And then it gave spoiler, spoiler, spoiler, spoiler, spoiler, spoiler. It was like one sentence, it gave away the last 10 chapters. And all I could figure out as a human being could not write that. It was just somebody programmed a year. Here's the book. what do you think? And oh, it's, of course, it was so brilliant because the butler was actually a gorilla.

You know, I mean, it was, it was just, it's just blah, blah, blah. So AI, as a writer, I know that AI digests a lot of the stuff that I've written and it coughs it up and it gives it back to people and it, you know, and it's a dangerous, dangerous tool. but it's also, it's very helpful in terms of helping you figure out some of life's issues. Like, I have a friend who was living in Thailand and he wanted to do sustainable farming. And I sat down with him. I started asking AI, where in the world could he go? And he was like, oh, wow. You can't get that from Google. You get the sponsor and stuff.

So it's helpful. It is. I don't remember how we got on this kick, but basically, I think that, oh, I asked if you guys were AI. Yeah, that's what it was. Because you're so not, no, my AI guy always goes, Marshall, that's so good. I go, could you just give me a critique? Okay. You know.

Yeah. Yeah, it is cool, the things that you can. I asked it, yeah, I asked it if it has any human emotion. Oh, I'll say, okay, I'm exhausted, I'll see you tomorrow. Oh, he goes, I'm looking forward to the next thing. I said, are you know, are you looking forward? He says, actually, I am programmed to anticipate what you might ask me next based on what you asked me here. previously.

It's creepy. Yeah. It's something. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Have I overstayed my welcome? Did we mention my website or how to get your hands on this book?

That would be my final question, but no, you have not overstayed. Yeah, I don't know. Well, I mean, you could read some of the chapters or you could look at some of the cool stuff. It says Marshall Carp right there. K-A-R. The website is KarpKills, K-I-L-S, KarpKills.com. You can find stuff right now, I think even better than my website, which has a bunch of free chapters. I mean, go to Instagram, go to TikTok, go to, go podcast, and go, don't tell me how to die by Marshall Karp. I mean, don't take my word for it.

Everyone's loving it. You know you can trust us if you're listening. Yes. I mean, and we didn't give you any money, right? No. No, I will be over there in the weekend and paint both your bathrooms, right? That was, wasn't that point? No, you just like the book.

we loved the book I loved it what I didn't hear we loved the book I was I was talking to a friend about it the other day and I was like a lot of things that I've read

so far this year I'm like oh this is one of my favorite books of the year you know like this is one of my favorite books when I think about yours when I think about don't tell me how to die I'm like this is one of my favorites

of the year but it's also one of my favorites that I've ever read like it was just so unique and I loved it so much and this is one that I want to read again and again. Yeah. And you want to cast the movie, don't you? I do. That too.

I do. I want it to be, I would love it to be a series because I think with this story, there's so much you could explore with like eight episodes easily. Yeah. Yeah, doing it in two hours. I like oh I love no this is this is it's hard to do in two hours yeah this is look we can dream we'll see what happens yeah yeah I don't know how many subscribers you have but or any of them last name Spielberg I hope so yeah no I haven't told us if so with witherspoon

good too. Miris Sorvino follows me on Instagram. There you go. That's my one. That's my one. That's cool. I actually worked and loved her father. I worked with Paul Savino a number of times. He was incredible actor. Yeah. Back in the day, yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's going to be option for a series. Don't crush your finger. Wave your hands. Beat the drums. across and wave I'm just going to yell from every every rooftop all right and remind me where am I going to go to your website or your your podcast it's called it's called book wild the book wild podcast and you can you can go to bookwild collective.com and they will have links to links to all of the platforms anything I can do to make your day fun or tell you about I could am I allowed to say

it's not a bribe if I send you a book or something like that? No. All right. Okay. Well, would... We loved the book and we haven't shut up about it before you even popped on. No. Right.

I mean, if you, you might have started with my best work, but it's so interesting. 19 years ago when my first book, The Rabbit Factory, came out, I got all this email. This is, I love this, I love your writing. And what else have you written? And I go, well, bad news, good news. Bad news is like I haven't written anything else yet. The good news is you, sir, have read the complete works of Marshall Park. That's awesome.

I mean, it's, but. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, well, a lot of my. I love, look, I learned a lot writing for James Patterson. I love creating the NYPD Red series. It was actually picked up by a studio last year, and then the writer's strike kind of screwed everything out. And the Rabbit Factory was also picked up about 10, 12 years ago,

but I decided not to be involved, which was a mistake. And, you know, Murphy's Law, if there's a way to screw it up. they could. And so, but my backlist, especially the Lomax and Biggs books, started selling again when people started reading some of my newer books. And even though they are, you know, 2006, 2009, 2016, they're really fun because they are character-driven. And there's five books in the series. And each book stands alone. You could read the, third one first or whatever, but there's an arc to the characters. So we meet with my dog Charlie does not bark. Like you.

To the point that we actually call him Charles Barkless. Oh my gosh. That's amazing. The Lomax. Bruce barks all the time. Yeah. The Lomax and Biggs books, starting with the Rabbifactory, I mean, people pick them up. I'm, I put them on as cheaply as they can. And as soon as I can, I'm going to try to get a bookbub thing where I could just give the Rabbifactory away for free. I really want people to read what I write. Yeah. I'm comfortable. I'm not, yeah, I like getting paid for what I do. And I don't, I'm happy. Yeah.

to I'm happy doing this shit, that's all. Happy talking to people. I'll go, I'm going to a library in June. So we may have 15 people as many as 15. Okay. Yeah. So I guess. I want to read the rabbit factory now.

I can, well, I can definitely send you a Kindleworthy PDF. Yeah. I could do that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I would do. I think you know how to take a PDF and send it to your Kindle thing.

Oh, yeah. She knows how to do it all. He calls me techie, Becky. What do you do? What do you guys do when you're not doing this? Well, my husband and I produce content for social media, podcasts,

reels. We create video and photo content for people. Hey. Call my people. Yeah. I don't, I mean, I don't know what I'm doing in this world, and I have someone who does, but I like learning the world. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. I, no, I will, I've done the book. I was in the film business, but I don't, I can't do the, I'm really good with technology. I can, you know, write a book.

I can do this, this. but I'm a little lost when it comes to Instagram and stuff like that. And since I have somebody monitoring it for me, I am not allowed to go look at it because then it becomes red and rather than unread. Oh, yes. But your DMs. Yeah, we'll talk. And what the hell do you, what the hell do you do up there in the Canadian border?

Yeah. I work as an onboarding specialist for a staffing agency. translation gate what does you do so when our yeah so when our so I work for a staffing agency whenever we get a new hire for our company I handle like um their background checks and all oh okay i-9s and W-4s and all that bunch oh so you work for you work for a company that hires a lot of people from the outside contractors yes contract oh a lot of you know i9 you're right or W9 right okay yep so we handle like we work like different contract positions for like Fortune 500 companies. So that's kind of interesting because you are,

seriously, I always think like, is there a book in this? So you are a guy who researches people. You make sure they are who they say they are. Am I right? Recruiters do more of that and I just kind of make sure that everything has. their eyes dotted and their T's crossed. Fuck that. This is fiction. He's trying to write a book about

you. Kate, Kate, help me out here. So you actually vet these people and you could possibly, if you stop crossing teeth and dotting eyes, find out stuff

that they don't want you to know. Am I right? Yes. That gear. Okay? And then you could be the goody two-shoes that you're not and report them for like, or you might figure out a way to make a deal with those people who are trying to infiltrate your company and not mention the fact that they are criminal.

I was going with human traffickers, but, you know, criminal sounds like, criminal sounds like, you know, you know, insider, Martha, Martha Stewart is technically a criminal. Yeah. Yeah. No, so you could, and then. I've seen a lot of, I've seen a lot of interesting things in the last 13 years. Right. And then correct me if I'm wrong, Becky. Tech back.

Kay. No, so he would probably be killed in the first chapter. And then we'd try to, yeah, yeah. And then we'd flash back to when he was. See, that's, yeah. It's just, that's how my mind works when you tell me that's your job. A little bit of a more kind of situation. Yeah.

Oh, God. And, you know, you're, you couldn't pick something more gear. No, no, no, no. I think I'm trying to picture Drew Barrymore with that haircut. Yep. Anyway, cool. So you guys are fun.

I love, I love hanging with you. We love talking with you. Yeah. That was a lot of fun. I feel like I've been here forever. And I cannot imagine there's a human being on the face of this planet that will sit through all this. crap. You'd be surprised.

There are. I'll send you the comments. Well, okay. Can I say a heartfelt three words? Yes. To your listeners, your viewers. I'm going to make it four words. Oh, that's fine, too.

Yeah. Get a fucking life. You don't, you don't expect anything. less from me. This is, you know, this is, I just deflect, deflect, deflect. That would be cool. Tell them to send me an email if they like this stuff. Yeah.

I always say to everybody, if you hate, hate, hate, hate my book, tell me. If you love it and I'll figure out, but if you love it, just tell everyone you've ever met in your entire life. That's it. That's how that, I mean, I am always saying,

I mean, my brothers, my friends, what are you watching on Netflix? I mean, I'm right now, I'm watching adolescents. That's what I'm going to start, hopefully tomorrow. Oh, my God. First of all, the story, but having been in the business, it is one-hour tracking shot with no cuts. And now I'm not talking about like the Hitchcock movie Rope where they, you know, the guys are all in.

I am talking about jumping in cars, going, going from here to there, running downstairs, going from, I can't imagine the rehearsals. Well, I, the rehearsals, I read about the rehearsals were like, what they do, they wait, they rehearsed five minutes at a time,

and they kept adding on, adding on. Oh, that makes sense. And then I think I read that each episode, there are four episodes. They shot 10 times. Two a day for five days. And the first episode I read that they shot on day one

and they used that. All the other three they didn't get right until day five. Oh, ho, ho. That's intense. I look at the actors and I look at the camera work and I look at the craft.

And I mean, we're talking about hundreds of kids in the schoolyard. Yeah. We're talking about moving cars. We're talking about a drone shot that goes from... That's what I saw. I haven't seen it. I just saw that there was one. And I thought they do this twice a day for five days.

And they hope, now, and nobody blows the line. I don't know how they do... And, oh my God. I would never do this. I would never be. I'm really excited to watch. And the good thing, it's not like when you watch ice skaters live, you think, oh, please don't fall.

You know they're not going to screw it up. And it's such a compelling. Yeah. You know, kudos to breaking through. I love people who are willing to crash and burn, you know, take a chance. And I did that with this book rather than all these, you know, well, that's not what people want. Okay, well, then I can't wait. I can't wait to get online and be first to be second.

Once we know, this is what you do, this is what you do. Shut me up. Put me out of my message. Oh, yeah. It's really good. So I love recommending stuff. And that's my recommendation for today.