Boonta Vista - EPISODE 118: Pro-Joyce Activism

Episode Date: October 1, 2019

Andrew, Ben & Lucy are examining the nutters of Adelaide, the reasons you should be licking the boots of Australia's billionaires, a wild instalment of Nature Corner and the whereabouts of fugitive Shane Warne. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Merchandise available at: boontavista.com/merchandise *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista iTunes: tinyurl.com/y8d5aenm Spotify: spoti.fi/2DBCXGA Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/s?fid=144888&refid=stpr Pocket Casts: pca.st/SPZB RSS: tinyurl.com/kq84ddb

Welcome to Buonto Vista episode 118. That's right, I know what you're all thinking. 118, just like Route 118 on the Adelaide Metro bus service. That takes you from Port Adelaide into change to the city. Do you guys know what I discovered this week? If it has something to do with that bus route, no I don't. Apparently everybody from Adelaide is a fucking psycho.

That's what I learned on Twitter this week. Oh, because of the fucking... So a lady, a lady does commentary, I don't really watch sports. I think her name is. Sure. I don't watch sports either, so if I got that wrong, you should applaud me for try. She is a sports commentator. She's very good. Sports commentator, she was doing some sort of commentary for some kind of football or soccer if you like. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. She. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. the. the. the. the. I. the. the. I. the. the. I. she said in an offhand comment that Adelaide is a shithole and there's nothing to do. And this was not well received by the people. She said it was great as well. She was like, ah it's a shithole, don't even bother going there.

I'm allowed to say that because I've been there a few times. It's boring and there's nothing to do. Which I've never been there's nothing to do. Which, I've never been there personally and I fundamentally believe this to be true. Yeah, which also, whatever. You know? Who cares? Who cares? So, a friend of the show, a sports reporter, Vince Ruggari, tweeted, wow, the reaction to the whole Adelaide thing really encapsulates why so many young people move away from there. Like, maybe just don't worry about it, hey. And I replied to Vince's tweet, and I said, I told him the true story that I was born in Adelaide, and two weeks later, my family moved overseas for like a military posting. And later on in my life, I said to my parents,

I wonder if I should journey back to Adelaide and see the place where I was born and they both just sort of went, nah, they both went, no, don't worry about it, it's fine. And that was it. That was what I posted. And like it just had a handful of people from Adelaide say things to me like, your family has done a great service to our state. Stay out. They sound just like Canberra people.

This happened to me several years ago when I made some stupid posts about Canberra being the worst place in Australia. And everyone was like, well, why don't you never come back then, you fucking piece of shit. Well, this was the thing that was like, I had multiple people then say variations to me on like, thank your family for keeping you away from here, you piece of shit, stay out of our state. And, um, and I replied to one guy and said, like, you don't have to take it so seriously.

I'm from Canberra, the other place where people love to tell you how fucking boring it is and how there's nothing to do th. The only difference is I don't care because my life is structured around what I like to do and like where I want to live with my family and everything and I have a good time. Doesn't really bother me if someone who lives in another state thinks that the city I live in is boring. It has no impact on me at all. Everyone fucking thinks that Brisbane sucks and they will tell you th you th you th you th you the you that all that all that all that all that the that the that that the that that the that that that that that that their their their their their to to to to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to told. I'll told. I'll told. I'll told. I'll told. I'll told. I'll to told. I'll to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. I the. I the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll told tell the the told the told told to to told to told told to told told told told to Brisbane sucks and they will tell you that all the time, completely unpropped it. I'll be like, I'm from Brisbane and they'll be like, I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't give a shit.

You live somewhere where you pay a million dollars a week and rent to live 40 minutes away from your job. I think what we can all agree on is the people that people that people that people that people that people that people that people that people that people that people that people that people that people that people that that that that that that that what they're talking about. Oh disgusting. Don't even get me started. Filth! Making a sign of the cross to ward them off, in case any of those filthy people are listening to this show. So I've said to, you know, one of these people, hey man, I'm from Camber, and everybody loves to tell you like how boring Camber is and there's nothing to do and one of them goes

Oh, so you're from Camberha, what a fucking shithole. No wonder you're miserable. I was like I'm very number one very strong energy on all of this and number two not really in the spirit of don't tell other people the place they live is boring and not worth visiting. Very strange and based on the opinions that I canvassed, yes, pretty much everybody from in and around Adelaide is a big-time psycho with like bizarre levels of state pride that you do not encounter anywhere else in Australia. Completely irrational. No reason for, no basis for it. Yep. So that's what I learned. I got no respect from those people. I get no respect. I'm tugging at my tie,

tugging at my tie, my collar. You know the guy? You know the guy? I know what you're doing. I refuse to acknowledge it. Yep. My eyes are bugginging out out tie tie tie to to tie to to to tie to th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi. the thi. thi. thi thi thi thi. thi. their their their their their their their their thi. I'm the the the th. th. the the the the th. I'm th. I'm their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm theeea. I've toge. I've thea. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I'm thi. I'm the guy. I know what you're doing. I refuse to know it. Yep. My eyes are bugging, bugging out of my skull and pointing in slightly direction. I don't think that was part of his act. Well, it's definitely burning are you, would you say? Coated in a thick flop sweat. My wife is just off stage talking to someone about how much she hates me. Oh, RIP. Yes, I gets gets gets getsto you know who also doesn't get enough respect, folks. Aretha Franklin.

I feel like, well, yeah, no, she's definitely asking for respect. Never mind. That's not who you were talking about. Was that a genuine guest? What's a guess? Here's a list of all the people that we think don't get any respect. Number one, Scott Morrison, our beloved Prime Minister. You have to respect the office. Even if you disagree with the guy, even if you don't like the ideas, even if you think they're actively making the planet worse,

you gotta respect the office. You gotta. The dignity of the office. There's no legitimate reason too, but when you think about it, you gotta respect. You too. You know why? Because you do. The end.

And that's why. No, I'll tell you who doesn't get enough respect. It's the sweet billionaires of our country. True. The delicious billionaires that we all love so much. How many billionaires do we have? Do you have that figure at hand? I don't. Okay. So, it's like 2,000 in the world. So I read a little piece. And from News.com. that are you the things that makes you feel just a bit like maybe you're having a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the a thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thia thia thia thia' thiou. thiou. thiou. thiou. thiou. thiou. thiou. thiou. thiou. thiailiailiailiailiailiailiailiailiailiailia. thia. thia. thia. thi. their. their. their. the their. the the the the the the the their. the the the their. their tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri.e. tri.e.e. true.e.e. true.e.e from news.com. Do you ever read one of those things that makes you feel just a bit like maybe you're having an aneurism the whole time? Every day on Twitter.com every single day. So you know, like we're all out here talking about our guillotines, you know, talking

about eating the rich and all that kind of thing. I don't know why your tone of voices like that. Well, yes, th. Yes, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, read a thi, read a thi, read a thi, read a thi, read a little thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. And, thi, thi all that kind of thing. I don't know why your tone of voices like that, but yes, we are talking about that. It's going to become clear why I'm saying that, because maybe you should be showing these guys a little more respect. Angela Mollard from News.com. That are you. It's going to lay it out for you in an article entitled, Quanta's chief executive Alan Joyce deserved to make $24 million in 2018. Hmm. Oh boy.

Who knew we were such a jealous bunch? Oh, I hate it already. One short man earns a gigantic pay packet and we're frothing at the mouth about equality and entitlement? One short man? Apparently? I don't know what his stature. Alan Joyce's height was at all. Okay.

Never mind that that one man has turned around and a failing company put thousands of dollars in shareholders' pockets, boosted the superannuation of Mr. and Mrs. Average and prevented thousands more from losing their jobs. I'm not 100% sure who the Mr. and Mrs. Average are in this case. I'm assuming it's like rich boomers with self-managed super funds who have bought shares in Quantis. Well, that's what shareholders is certainly. Yeah and but like who's who's superannuation is it boosting beyond people

whose super funds have bought shares of Qantas. Look I'm gonna be very honest with you I have no idea where my 45 dollars of super is. It could be in anything. Mr. and Mrs. Average. You know that average Joe who owns a bunch of shares of Quantis. That's your average Australian. And of course, single-handedly prevented thousands more from losing their jobs. No, Qantas CEO Alan Joyce is officially a fat cat, and like a moggy who's relieved himself on the best rug, we want to rub his nose in it. Wait, just say the officially a fat cat thing sarcastically? I guess he's officially, we're declaring him to officially be a fat cat.

How much did he get paid again? So 24 million is that the name that you said? He made 24 million million in 2018 alone. So in a 12 month period, he made $24,000. Is that what you're saying? Add several more zeros to that. He made $240,000. A little more? $2.4 million. That's a lot of money. Bump that decimal over.

This money is not a lot to me. That's not a lot of money. Bump that decimal over. Now you're telling me. This money is not a lot to me. That's not a lot of money to me personally. You made 24-4, a 2-4, a 2-4, and then a 4, and then there's 6 zeros. A number of zeros. So that's, oh, I don't know. That's at least $24 billion, I will say that So you know 24 million dollars which is Approximately by my maths About

48 times more than I'll ever make in my lifetime Well, let us explain how much it is actually the fact is mr. Joyce took a beleaguered company and transformed it into a thriving global business with a record profit of $1.6 billion. Yes, at $24 million, his pay packet may be 270 times that of the average worker, and yes, he may make $459,000 a week. Sorry, I just want you to run that number by me. Yep, yep. And I really feel like you have to appreciate the tone in which this is being written.

Very dismissive. They're even just writing it out, like they're putting the numbers in there and still being like, yeah. Very dismissively, yes. He's sort of waving their head while they're saying it. Yes, he may make $459,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,9,000 each week. Which is nothing to me, a journalist. But, so let's put it into perspective. $45,000 a week. Is that what you're saying? $4,500,000 a week is what he's making.

That seems like a shit line. $100 a week. You are going to freak out when you find out how much it really is. How much? Let's get it into perspective here. $459,000 each week. Yeah, big deal. Big deal.

Because his earnings are just 1.5. Now, this, I'm giving you the exact phrasing here okay so just strap your phrasing seatbelt on for this but his earnings are just 1.5 percent of the money he made. Huh. Now so the thriving global business with a record profit of 1.6 billion dollars it turns out that Alan Joyce made 100% of that money for the company. That he performed $1.6 billion worth of labor. Wow, he must have been working 9 to 5 at least. At least. Maybe up to 5.30 on some days, you know.

So like, staying that off at 6 p.m. if so all right I can bear with me yep so they're saying he earned 1.5% of the amount of money that he made the company. So wait let me just yeah so so 1.6 billion dollars in profit yeah he made 24 million dollars okay 24 million dollars is 1.5% of that 1.6 billion dollars in profit. you know so so 1.5% that 1.6 billion dollars in profit. He made 24 million dollars. Okay. 24 million dollars is 1.5% of that 1.6 billion dollars in profit. And so really he's barely making anything because the CEO is solely responsible for all of the profit that a business generated. Now I wish, I just wish, I wish so much that I was a smarter man, that maybe I was a more theo type of a character. Because I would love to know what fraction of that money, someone that gets paid like $45,000 a year

is like a baggage handler, what fraction it is of the company's earnings they're making with their work. Because I just don't feel like that ratio would be the same. You know? You're just missing that he's working really hard though. Yeah, what does CEOs do? Now I know this is a broad question. Oh, there's an answer. He's got meetings.

There is absolutely an answer to this, OK. So his earnings are just 1.5% of the money he made. A DUDD CEO could have cost the company and shareholders many more millions than he was paid. Right? Could he have? The fact is that, and a lot of starting sentences with the fact is in this opinion piece. The fact is that the best CEOs are so much more than their demure and dated title suggests. Oh my fucking God kill me, please. Chief executive officer sounds like a job description from the era of tins stripe suits.

Demure, well he is a small man, apparently. Executive. He's a diminutive man. Officer, all of those words are individually titles of power, that they have combined three in a row of those to indicate triple power. This reminds me of the film Demolition Man, where a murder is referred to as murder-death kill. That is what Chief Executive Officer is. I. the the man. the man. the the man. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is a the the the the the the the the the thi. It is. the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is a th. It is a the thi. It is referred to as murder death kill that is what chief executive officer is. I'm so glad you finally saw a demolition prince. Change my life. Oh what a film what a great film. It is a great film. So chief executive

officer sounds like a job description from the era of pinstripe suits, novelty ties, and amstrads. In the mid-2000s. Yeah, it's redolent of little more than exemplary paper clip bending and paper pushing. Um, as we all know, as we all know, yeah, well as we know, CEOs are out in the minds. They're not just bending paper clips and paper pushing. Did Alan Joyce write this? He's actually very strong and although he's kind of short, very toned body. So here's the answer.

In reality, the best CEOs are alchemists, strategists, innovators, and geniuses. They have the sort of agile brains that produce solutions to problems which seem intractable. This isn't real. You've made this up. They lead not from a textbook, but from an internal well of brilliance that seems constantly replenished. I'm not saying this is a rhetorical device right now. I want someone to repel through my fucking window and fucking shoot me with a gun.

Now I will do that as soon as we're finished. Thank you. I appreciate that. So we've been starting a lot of senses with the factors up until this point. Here's some great factual stuff continuing on here. What's more the buck stops with them. You know how the buck always stops with CEOs? True. They don't face consequences all the time. You know how every time there's like a multi-trillion dollar Ponzi scheme that crashes the

world's economy and all the CEOs have the buckstop with them and go to prison? You know every time there's a subprime mortgage crisis and robots signing away people's leases on their houses and foreclosing on them? That CEOs are help directly responsible. Every day. Oh, um, oh, there's a buck going past. Oh, well, I guess, uh, oh no. Oh, it's, it's stopped right here with me.

I hate it. I hate it when the buck stops with me. They stuff up and we all lose. Who is... Who's we? Who's we in this scenario? Is it shareholders? Because we're not all shareholders of that company. Is it the employees of the company? I have at least one million quantist shares.

Is it the employees of the company who all get laid off when they decide that they're not making enough profit because of some stupid decision and they have to cut a whole bunch of people's jobs? They're both, like groups of people who stand to suffer a big material impact of a company tanks, but it's not everyone. Maybe it's, maybe it's the public who has to fund the bailouts of fucking banks and airlines and shit like that when they do purely profit-driven shit. Not sure who the we all loses when a CEO stuffs up because apart from anything else we just got told the buck stops with them so I'm not sure why everybody else loses? Can I just say that just sort of bring it a real world example into this, I was looking up whether, you remember when Volkswagen were found to have been faking emissions tests?

Oh yeah. And I was like, well, I bet nothing happened to the CEOs. It was absolutely wrong. One of them got arrested. So that's good. But this is the exception that proves the rule. I love those. So, you know, CEO's stuff up and we all lose. Conversely, when their dexterity and instincts, big sky-thinking, come together with precision, we all win. I don't know who we is in any of these scenarios.

It's like when the dexterity and precision of the people behind Fubarets and Fudora and Deliveroo came together and they figured out you can just not pay people the minimum wage. Yeah. And then we all win. You can have employees that you don't actually employ. You can be sunglasses hut. And you can just not pay people what you're supposed to pay them. You could underpay people by 2.3 million dollars. And we all win. We all win. We all win. Because they found a way to save money and it's good for everyone. Hey Ben, you remember the last time that the big four banks all posted record profits and you won?

Yeah, I think I just, I logged onto my internet banking and I saw that I had a few extra hundred dollars in there. Yeah, they had given me a million dollars. And you know what? When banks have done predatory lending, and when housing markets crash, the buck stops with the CEO. Yeah, which is great, because I wouldn't want it to stop with me. The person whose house is being repossessed. Oh, absolutely.

But it stops with the CEO, so it's good. So the box stops with them you know when their dexterity and instincts and big sky thinking all come together with precision you all win. I hate this. Big sky thinking. And yet we display an odd double standard by being selective with our envy. Chris Hemsworth gets paid $122 million making him the world's second highest paid actor. Yet we don't sneer at him. Don't that guy. Fuck him. Oh, we don't sneer at Chris Hemsworth and his fucking like 10 million acre, Byron Bay millionaire bunker.

You know how much he needs to be paid to make that movie? $25 an hour I'm gonna say. And then if he does over 40 hours, double time and a half. If that runs into weekends. Maybe even triple time and maybe some time in lieu for that as well. I think that seems fair. I'm sure Chris Hemsworth is a nice enough guy and I don't have anything personal against him.

But I don't think... No actually I'll immediately retract that. I was going to say I don't think anybody out there actually thinks that Chris Hemsworth needs a hundred and 22 million dollars. But... Introduce you to something called Stan million dollars but introduced you to something called Stan Twitter you got to absolutely love it I do not want to be introduced to that at all gonna put just that audio clip up you say he does not deserve a hundred twenty two million well I'll say a nice screen here Chris Hemsworth does not deserve the salary he got for playing Thor I'm gonna put that up with like one of those like a screenshot of you just to deserve the salary he got for playing Thor. I'm going to put that up with like one of those...

It's like a screenshot of you just noticing the cameras there and it's black and white now to focus and you look really sinister. This guy doesn't think Chris Hemsworth should get any money. Do not vote for Andrew Law. There's another issue of play here though, because this person says, Rather, we champion him for entertaining us for 90 minutes in his Thor costume. I fucking wish a Marvel movie was 90 minutes. My God. Oh, it's five hours too long, am I right? End game was three hours long, wasn't it? I will never see it. That is too long for any film.

That was the least painful of the Marvel movies I have watched that aren't Thor. Fair enough. The good floor. We glow with pride when America's NBA offers Patty Mills a $73 million deal because he's tall and talented at shooting hoops. Very heightest opinions going on in this piece. Yeah, that's interesting. We had fetish coming to the full hit.

Alan Joyce is a genius. He's brilliant. He's amazing. And basketball players are just, they're just told they could throw some basketballs. But also, I would say, number one, they're talking about all of the money Chris Hemsworth has ever earned. He didn't get $122 million Australian dollars for doing a movie. But also, I wonder if you added up the gross of like all of the Thor movies, all of the Avengers movies and saw how much money that has generated for Disney?

I wonder how much of a chunk of that $122 million would be, considering how much of the franchise rests on a group of name actors. And with the NBA comparison, like, again, it's insane to pay anybody $73 million, but also it's a ridiculous billion dollar industry where all of the teams are individually owned by like crazy rich billionaires who do it as a status thing. And the only reason that Patty Mills gets $73 million or that other people get hundreds of millions of dollars or anything is A, because the amount of money that actually goes through the NBA is phenomenal,

and B, because they have a players association, which is their name for, a players union. And the union did a really good job of saying, how about we get some of that money? Some of the insane quantities of money that run through this business. And lo and behold, they can afford to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay the their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoes go go go go goe.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e. tho.ea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the insane quantities of money that run through this business, and lo and behold, they can afford to pay them all that kind of money and still run the NBA at a massive profit. How weird. But again, don't know that these are great comparisons again. How warped are we to eulogize those who find success through luck, good looks or physical prowess yet t eulogize those who find success through luck, good looks, or physical prowess, yet treat with derision those whose fine brains and sound judgment boost our superannuation

and secure our retirement? Oh, what is wrong with boot liquors? How do you become like this? They love the delicious taste of boot, yum yum yum. The taste of boots! Lucy, you should be pretty stoked, because apparently Alan Joyce is securing your retirement. Is it? How's your retirement going? Yeah. Are you all set now, I guess?

I've got like, I probably got like 80, 90 bucks. Oh. They don't get me through a week at least. Living the dream. It says honestly, we should be grateful for th for th for th for th for th for th grateful th grateful th grateful th grateful th grateful th grateful th grateful thi th They don't get me through a week at least. Living the dream. It says honestly, we should be grateful for this delicious boot. But like some dowdy outpost left behind in the last millennium, we allow ourselves to be sucked into tall poppy syndrome when it comes to our business giants. That is rich.

Maybe one of the worst things we have read on the show. I feel like I'm hitting a really good run of you guys saying that about everything I find. This is particularly bad. This is also just a lot of the current discourse is around this kind of thing with Bernie Sanders saying, you know what, I don't think there should be any billionaires. And the responses to that are just... Just incredible. Like, I just...

People saying, oh, should we murder all the billionaires? Like, no, we should just take their money from them. But even that is just, so many people have no concept of what a billion dollars is and also just the idea that it is morally fine to do this is something I I cannot get my head around. Yeah she goes on Europe and Asia are full of gifted people pushing the boundaries in corporate life. They are admired and celebrated. Which just made me think of like Jack Ma. You guys know Jack Mar? No. It was the outgoing head of Ali Baba. The selling little pieces of shit side. And that guy's whole deal was like making tens of

thousands of staff file into stadiums so that he could do like elaborate rock star karaoke in front of like 50,000 employees. And that's everybody loving and celebrating him is when you drag everybody into a massive stadium and say, everybody must come to this mandatory thing for work while I put on like a fucking hair metal weird. Oh, it's like you should check out some of the footage. It's wild. But also Jack Ma copped a bunch of a flack recently because he, number one, he likes to drag all of his employees into a thing and make them watch him like sing and mime along on a guitar and stuff for a while, but he also likes to yell at everybody about how they should be doing the 996 system.

And the 996 system is a thing that some CEOs and stuff champion in like Chinese corporate life, which is that you should work from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. six days a week if you want to get ahead if you want to get ahead in the corporate wock to the takes. And doing what it takes is just living at work. And you should not complain and you shouldn't ask for time off. That sounds like a good society. Yeah Yeah and that's why we admire and celebrate people like him, you know. Wear a suit here however and you'll be branded a scare quotes, W star, K-E-R. A worker, you'll be branded a worker! You'll be branded a worker! You'll be branded a winker. You'll be branded a winker. I

can't look at their sense of wanker. I know. Also, that is not true. I mean it is, 99% of people will tell you look like a wanker, but 1% of people, your friends, will tell you look really good dressed up. They'll say, oh you bloody scrum up nice, don't you? Mm-hmm. That's what happens. Here's another bit of a bit of fun math here. Not 100% sure about this one. Yet for every dodgy CEO exposed in the banking royal commission, there's 100 others working their butts off to do the right thing. I like the ambiguity of this sentence, don't thensensensensensensensensensensensensens. Because because because because because because because the the the their their their their their th. th. their their th. th. th. th. the. thi. thi. to be to be to be to be the. thi. to to to that's that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their to to their to to to to to their to to to their to to to to to to that that that that. that. to do the right thing. I like the ambiguity of this sentence because she could be saying

specifically in the Banking Royal Commission, there's only so many banking CEOs in Australia. Yep and pretty much all of them were exposed as overseeing rampant criminality and like systemic corruption. Yeah but they're using the Dextra Sky thinking and they're all very tall, so beautiful, tall, so hands. The nimble, the nimble brains. They're at least five foot five. These five ten hotties are going into work with the powerful powerful brains.

Oh, smooth brains. Yeah, they're powerful nimble brains, blessed with the business dexterity of God himself.. And th. And th. And the th. And th. And the th. And the th. And th. And they, and they, and they, and they, and thi. And they, and they, and they're they're they're they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all thi, they're all thi, they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're, they're powerful nimble brains, blessed with the business dexterity of God himself. Andrew, I cannot tell you how much I don't want you to read the next sentence. Oh, I've been waiting for this. I regret having right ahead, but I also... All right, close your eyes, Lucy. Are you ready? I'm breathing. Australlia may have big dick you ready? I'm closing my eyes. Close your eyes. I'm breathing. Australia may have big dick energy, but we are increasingly guilty of little dick mentality.

What does that mean? Also, why did you sense a wanker, but not big dick energy and little dick mentality? Australia. Australia's got swag though. Did you sense a wanker but not big dick energy and little dick mentality? Australia. Australia's got swag though. Australia, known for its big dick energy. A country that has to beg to be evolved to the G20. Even if I want to engage with this, it's not true. That's not true at all.

Australia does not have big dick energy. What does increasingly guilty of little dick mentality mean? What is little dick mentality? Hey, you know what you're like- Is it just acting like a pussy? Is that just what it means? Everyone I see looks like they got a small cock. That's all I can think about at any moment of the day. I thage. I think think tham thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. ththink about at any moment of the day. I'm looking at these beautiful tall people and I'm thinking they've got small dicks. My God.

All these people who don't understand how great short CEOs are, tiny penises. Tiny penises. Every one of them. Very strange, very strange, but also I completely agree that Australia on the world stage is 100% the little dog from the pair of dogs in the Warner Brothers cartoons. What are we going to do today and get it's backhanded by the big dog? We are 1,000 percent the little dog. I don't recall a Disney cartoon where a dog... I didn't say Disney.

I said Warner Brothers. I don't recall a Warner cartoon where a dog... I didn't say Disney. I said Warner Brothers. I don't recall a Warner Brothers cartoon where a dog backhands another dog. Really? Backpaws? I'll send you a link. Uh, Ralphie is one of them. You are certainly more of an expert in... The Donald of the Kingdom Hearts Universe.

In Merry Melodies and Looney Tunes cartoons, I'm all over it. Yeah, alright. Okay. But look, Ralph and Sam, that's the dogs I'm talking about. Anyway, so that's the dog we are, if you're wondering. So we all have tiny dicks in our brains. We should be aspiring to grow more people like Mr. Joyce. We want those who are best in class internationally, who bestow a culture of excellence and drive their agendas hard so that many, not just themselves, might profit. $24 million. And I don't know how, like like yeah did did every worker at the company get a raise I wonder did everybody get a cash bonus? We're not creating the wealth. The guy that fucking yells at his secretary to yell at other

people he's a guy creating the wealth. The people actually doing the work. They're basically kind of like a screwdriver, uh, you know like a like a useless, I mean not useless, just sort of a tool and implements. There's no brain there. When we pay them well, we're rewarding the risks they take. The entrepreneurship they exhibit, the education they've invested in and the particular brand of brilliance that comes along all too rarely. Where did you find this? Where was this? On news.com. That is the section.

We're rewarding the risks they take. So what happens when they take a risk and it massively fucks up and it bombs and it knocks like 40% off the share price of the company or whatever. I kind of feel like most of the time they still get their $24 million and then the board says you're fired. You have to leave now and take this $10 million with you. And we're going to have to fire 90,000 people. Oh no we've filed for bankruptcy. Looks like we're not going to be able to pay these wages out. Oh well well well well well well well well well well well well well well. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the b. the b. Oh. the b. Oh. Oh. Oh. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the the the the the the the the th. th. the the t. the the the the the the the the the the the thethese wages out. Oh, well, the buck stops with, oh, you're gone. Oh, you're on an island having sex with 17-year-olds where it's legal. Oh, okay. Well, we can't reach you.

Well, fine. That's fine. He must be out of range. He must be out of phone range. And he's not here. Awkward. If we insist on anything from them, it should be that they talent spot and nurture two or three potential replacements from the company to take over when they retire. Again, I love the idea that a CEO just like works at a company and is so successful the whole time that they just stay there until they fucking retire. As opposed to like resigning in disgrace and then moving on to just be on the board of the board the board the board to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture the board to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture to nurture and nurture to to to nurture and nurture and nurture and nurture their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the board the board the board the board the board the board the board the board the board the board the board the board the board the board the board the board the board the board the board the board of the board of the board of the board of the the the the the too-sorture to to to toooooo-sorture their their their their their their their there until they fucking retire, as opposed to like resigning in disgrace and then moving on to just be on the board of several other companies and get paid for attending a meeting once a quarter?

Every eight months, they masturbate in front of one of their employees and they are asked to change to a different company where their salary doubles and their responsibilities are halved. And there's only like 50 companies that's that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th these people, and they do this at the 50 companies that exist in the world because that's how many are left. Now, I would love for someone to try and tell me what this sentence means. Here we go. I just want someone to interpret this for me and explain. I'll give it a go. I'm very smart. I'm in men to lay it on me. That's th. Here. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. to the the to to the the toeeeeeee. the the the the the the the the the thi.ea. a go. Explain the logic of plan. I'm very smart. I'm in Mensa, lay it on me. That's true. I have heard that about you. If all from you. If all Australian stock exchange companies followed suit, and obviously we're talking about if they did all the same

things like telling people that they still look really cool even though they're short, paying them as much much the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's th. I's th. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. t. t. t. te. te. te. tell. te. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm te. I'm telling people that they still look really cool even though they're short, paying them as much money as possible, accepting that the buck has stopped with them even though they've never done anything wrong, sucking on their little dicks that have big dick energy, all that sort of stuff. If we did all of that stuff. I think, or is this, I feel like this is referring specifically to the last sentence. If all ASX companies followed suit, there would be little need to hire from overseas, and CEO salaries wouldn't need to be so high.

Someone help me figure out this logic. I think what she's saying is, because she's talking about what she said before. If we insist on anything from them, it should be that they talent spot and nurture two or three potential replacements from the company to take their retirement. So there's just succession happening from within the company. So we're hiring from up. What she wants is the fantasy world that briefly happened in the 1950s where you would get hired as a boot shine or some similar... I got started in the mail room. And now the CEO and this this this this this this this this this this this this this th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is th is th is thease thea thia thiolease thease thease thease. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the is the is the. the is theannenenenea. thean. toean. I tean. I's. I's. I's. I's. tea. I's. tean. I's. I's. their their thean. And now I'm the CEO. And this happened to two people and every single boomer believes this is how jobs work. And she would like that to happen instead of the scenario I previously described where you wank and get moved on to another company.

But does she, does she think that like, if you did talent spot some... You there, boy boy you look capable Some rivaled young go-getter and you took them under your wing and you mentored them into being able to perform your job Which is being an an anointed golden brain business guard? Who makes you know one and a half billion dollars worth of profit for your company? Et cetera. That does she think thatthat person doesn't want the 24 million dollars? I just I just I really want to get her position straight so her belief is that Alan Joyce says he has earned 24 million dollars and that's not an exorbitant amount but also she believes we might be able to pay them less if every now and then CEO is to someone in the mail room and said you're there boy I like the cut of your gym you want to roll with the big fellas?

Oh yes sir. Why does it? I said boy. Well I say boy. Don't like that. Hey I tell you what you will like like that. I need more. Don't like it. Don't like this. Hey, I tell you what you will like, Lucy, this next sentence. No, I won't. You don't have to say it.

In any case... Why you're such a fucking pessimist. Don't be a wet blanket. Don't be a pessimist when you could be... Don't call me a nag. copying a sentence like this. In any case, in a week when welfare cheats fraudulently claiming payments led the news, surely we should celebrate a bloke who makes us money rather than steals it from us. Blast yourself into the sun you fucking pile of hot garbage trash lady.

Unquote welfare cheats in the news. Does anyone remember? I think it was it was like that one guy that they found who was like, yeah, I spent my welfare on smoking cones. And they were like, see, everyone is a welfare cheat. And then all the other discussion about it was how like people with drug addictions were less representative in people on welfare and like oh it's fine it's fine it's fine it's fine it's fine Alan Joyce might have earned a tidy 24 million dollars but a fair chunk of that will have gone straight to the tax office good great a fair chunk I feel like a fair chunk I feel like we may have a slightly different definition of what a fair chunk of $24 million is. I also wonder how much of that he actually paid income

taxes on? How much of it did he get into Canary Islands? Yeah, some share dividend program being managed out of Little St. James Island. Like, Good on him. Now if he could successfully stop the airports raiding us on coffee and parking prices, we'd be most grateful. You're right. I would be grateful. A little bit of joke at the end. Angela Mollard is a freelance writer. Is she? Because...

But also, I wonder if, like like getting absolutely fucking reamed on parking prices and buying coffee from coffee shops that are in the airport that pay rent to the airports has anything to do with why dude's like this can make a profit, who knows? Just for my own enjoyment, I'm looking at an article from the Australian Financial Review from February 15, 2018, with Alan Joyce explaining why Quantis has paid no corporate tax for the last three years. Cool. Oh yeah, very cool and normal, understandable.

It's all fine. But the buck stops with the CEO, the guy that got paid 24 million fucking dollars. I hate it when the buck stops stops the the the the the buck the buck the buck stops stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop the the the the the the the the the, the guy that got paid 24 million fucking dollars. I hated when the buck stops with me. Ah, no, the buck is stopping with me and I'd almost notice if I wasn't getting sucked off by 30 different types of sex worker that all pay, charged $50,000 a night. He doesn't even notice. Do you get anything from being a boot liquor or do you just like it? You will be the last person shot and they will give you a pillow between you and the wall. Hmm. I just want to, I'd like at this point to issue an apology to listeners of the show.

I was actually thinking of the two dogs Chesterester and Spike. You dumb, mother-fogger. You're stupid sea-one. I feel really, I feel really foolish. Let me be honest with you. Oh, god damn. Chester, the Terrier is the dog that Australia is on the world's day. I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't have nothing.

You'll get it. You'll get there. So I hope that was suitably infuriating for you, basically. Made me very mad. Well, if we're going to take a little bit of the edge off it, maybe we should take a little trip to Nature Corner. Who'd like a little bit of nature corner? That sounds nice. I hope it's not rude.. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You get. You get. You get. You get. You get. You get. You get. You get. You'll get. You'll get. You'll get. You'll get. You'll get. You'll get to get to get to get. You'll get to get. You'll get. You'll get. You'll get to get to get. You'll get it. You'll get it. You'll get it. You'll get it. You'll get it. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You to get. You to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get th. You'll get th. You'll get thrip to Nature Corner. Who'd like a little bit of Nature Corner? That sounds nice. I hope it's not rude. Do you want to do like a bird song for this?

Like, go-kah-kaw. Well, Theo, that's wonderful for a theat. That was beautiful and peaceful, relaxing bird songs. Nice. No, Theo has been claiming for several months now that he's going to make a theme for Nature Corner, and he's not here at the moment, but if you would like to write into him at Theo at Buntavista.com and say, hey, where's this fucking Nature Corner theme at already, you know? You can send that straight to him. But instead, I have a Nature Corner article for us here, which is an instant classic in the genre of

every sentence raising more questions than answers local news story. And hopefully we'll be able to provide those answers. Yes, I would love for that to happen. Is that going to happen? This is from a well-known local news source, WAFB 9. Hmm. Local News Channel in the States. There are approximately 25,000 of those in America. There's so many. It's like, hey, you know, I was just listening, watching the local news,

PQRX 22. Or as we call it, the PQC, they're like, the PQ. They're like, no, I don't listen to PQJ. That's what I want to call itJT, I listen to TXF. I'm a real TT-E-Head over here. Oh, show us your T-T. And the radio is just like- And they're all these regional codes for like Fox or CBS stations, right? Like, that's what they are? Sure. The radio here is exactly the same. It's like you turn it on and it's like You're listening to the radio

Pee-peel-peel-pew. I love it. Makes me feel right at home. Well this one from W.A.F.F. The waltz. Woman bites camel to escape attack in enclosure at Louisiana Truck Stop. Oh, hmm. I'm already asking questions. Ben, if you're looking at this, can you just tell me the name of the place this report is coming out of in Louisiana? Oh wait, let me, I've got to scroll to catch up. Just pronounce that for me. All right, okay, but before I do this, America is fucked up in that they will have place names that are clearly French, but they will pronounce them in their own insane way.

I'm going to say that this is gross Tate, but it could be anything. Gross Tate? Gross Tate? Well it turns out that it's actually French for Big Head. Mmm. While the local... Hometown of J.I.H. Well, the local pronunciation is, Gross Tate. You've got to be bummed out if you live in that town, your name's Tate. But I think you should be bummed out in general if your name is Tate.

You know? You should probably be bummed out if you live in a town in Louisiana with a population of 647 for a bunch of other reasons. Yep. No one that's to live in a town called Grossaint. 23.4% of the population being below the poverty line. Ah, no good. Yeah, so according to WAFB, a woman was sent to the hospital after biting the testicles of a camel that was sitting on her at the truck stop in Grossetate, Louisiana. According to the Iberville Paris Sheriff's office. You know what's funny about that is usually in that sort of a sentence, the person being sent to the hospital would be the person being bitten.

Yes, that's true. On Thursday evening, a couple at the I-10 truck stop and gross tape was chasing after their deaf dog, which ran away from them, Sheriff Brett Stassie said. The dog, according to Stassie, the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double the double-fetie, which ran away from them, Sheriff Brett Stasi said. The dog, according to Stassie, ran under the double barbed wire fencing that fenced off the enclosure of the camel. The couple chased after the dog into the enclosure, meeting an agitated camel, who is named Casper.

That's a nice camel name. That is. Sheriff Stass, you said, somehow. The camel sat on the woman. Somehow. Somehow. I think generally you sort of bended your knees. But how did the woman arrive to be under the camel? I feel like you could tell if the camel was trying to sit on you.

You would somewhat see it. What was she doing there? No, if you're facing down down down wouldn't be able to see it. The camel is above you with this situation. But is the dog under the camel at this point? And she's trying to get it out, so she's bending over to pick up the dog, which can't hear her cries to come back because he's deaf? And while she's bent over, the camel is like, there's a whole commotion going on down

there, but I haven't had my nap this morning. Like some other local dog was barking all night, I've been up, I'm very tired. I just need to take a load off. All right, this is very simple and I don't know why you're making a big deal out of it. The dog has run into the camel enclosure, camel pasture, not really sure. Per the report, per the sheriff's report. Yep. And the lady has gone in there. The dog is underneath a hay bale. The woman has gone prone to sort of contact the dog beneath the hay bale. A shadow has passed behind her and she said, oh I didn't know it was the eclipse but that must be

what it is. So she doesn't turn around to check and then all of a sudden she is betwixt the earth and a camel. Yeah, very straightforward. And of course that's not where you want to be be, traditionally speak. betwixt the earth and a camel. Yeah. Very straightforward. And of course, that's not where you want to be, traditionally speak. You want to be in a camel you, the earth sandwich. Yes. Sometimes you want to be near a camel. I want to be in the camel's vicinity.

Yeah, but if somebody said to you... Or on the camel. If somebody in a you-c Earth sandwich. That's a fun time being on a camel. That's a recipe for a great time. But if somebody said to you, hey, I got an enclosure here with the camel, it's named Casper. It's Casper the Camel. If... If you and Cece, that's what I call Casper the Camel, if you wanted to, you know, you and C and C, to get the to get the to get to get the to get the to get the to get the to get the to get to get the to get the the to to to to the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their.coe, their. their. their. the. tomeaughea.coa.coa.coa.coa.coa.coa.coa. te, te.a.a.coe, te, tombea. Ie, that's call Casper the Camel, wanted to, you know, get together, maybe you could give them a pat or whatever. I don't know if my first instinct would be to say, can I get under that bad boy? Can I make a little sandwich? Yeah.

What if I were to, tell you what, I'm going to go in and I'm just going'm just gonna lie down on the ground and Casper can do what he wants basically. I'm gonna make myself real flat and then I'm just gonna see what unfolds. Yeah Casper I trust you. You're yelling Caspar I trust you. As I lie down in the bottom of the camel enclosure at this Louisiana truck stop which I feel again raises some questions. Camel enclosure. Double barbed wire fenced off cabal enclosure at a Louisiana truck stop on the I-10. The woman, possibly out of self-defense, bit the camel's testicles. The woman was sent to the hospital according to the sheriff. Hang on, it. I just want you to, possibly out of self-defense. Yep.

Now, look, I want to say, number one, this pretty much lets us know that the way, number one, she had to be face up, which means maybe she was lying down on her back. I don't, okay, I don't know how long camel testicles are but if this was, if it was, if her head was in the back of camel. It's some kind of waterfall effect and they've come they have sort of become in front of her face while she's facing downwards but lifted her head up maybe. Um, but why are we doing this? Also her arms are out of action in this scenario. What is this for? It's Nature Corner. I thought you heard up top. Up top you did the bird noises so you clearly knew. Oh, I hate it. Well now I know what you're thinking to yourself, Liz. You're thinking, yeah, Nature Corner. We got a camel name cast was a big old balls. I. A. A. A. A. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A the th. the their th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. thea. theea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. thinking to yourself, Liz. You're thinking, yeah, Nature Corner, we got a deaf dog.

We got a camel named Casper. We got some big old balls. With some big old balls. What else? I guess that's all the animals we're going to hear about here. That is what I'm thinking. You are wrong. It's something else going into the mix.

Caspar, the the extent th th th th is th is th is th is th th th is th th th is th th th th is th th th is th th th is th th of the ladies' injuries were not released, Caspar has been in the enclosure since last summer, replacing the truck stop's previous attraction, Tony the Tiger. What the kind of truck stop is this? Now, just to be clear, this is not an animal that is not a tiger that's called Tony the Tiger after Tony the tiger. The very next sentence says the tiger had been put down in October 2017 because of kidney failure and other health issues. I don't know if that was maybe anything to do with living at a

truck stop in Louisiana. Did he serve the customers? Tony the Tiger, Casper the camel and one deaf dog. Now I know what you're thinking. That's all the animals. I don't know if you do. Oh, okay. You're right. That, that is certainly what I was thinking that's all the animals. I don't know if you do. Oh okay. You're right, that that is certainly what I was thinking. So Casper moved in to I presume keep the owner company after the loss of his beloved Fat Tiger. Owner Michael Sandlin

said he was considering expanding the facilities to bring in more animals. To his trucks stop on I-10 where he keeps the tigers and camels. Where do you get a tiger? Where do you get a camel? Probably at the same place hopefully. Pro-io-tocer is the same place., and make sure the camel's kidneys are in good, because the tiger, the tiger was no good. A tiger you sold me was a dud, pal. Is it? I... Yeah.

So you finish this story that I want to just read you something related from earlier this year. But, that's the end of the story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story is that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that I want to just read you something related from earlier this year. But that's the end of the story. Something related. So the end of the story is that we don't know how injured this lady is. We never found out what happened to the dog. I'm presuming Casper the camel's testicles are fine and we're all hoping that Tony the tiger rests in peace. Additionally, I hope somebody shuts this truck stop down. The end.

All right, so talking about where a man got a tiger and a camel from. Uh-huh. I don't know if you remember this, but in April of this year, a man in Florida was killed by a pet Cassowary that he had. Oh I do remember, yes. He like tripped over and said, now's my chance to kick you to death. Yes, so he was allowed to keep that because he had, he didn't need a permit for it because... Because... for it because... It's my support cassowary. No, it's even better than that. So the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission told the New York Times that he didn't need the permit because he was using an agricultural exemption to have it because he had casuaries

for agricultural use with that same spokesperson going on to say that you could breed them for meat or for eggs or to sell his livestock. But this, he ended up up after their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their fish, uh uh uh uh uh their fish, uh their fish, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, thiol. thiol. thiole. thiol. thiol. thiol. thiol. thiol. thiol- thiol- thiol- th. thiole. thiolololole. th. thiolole. th. th. thiole. thi. thiole. thi. thi. thiole. Uh, thiole, thiole, thi. Uh, thi. Uh, thi. Uh-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. Uh-s. thiolooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. t. t. t sell his livestock. But this he ended up after he died there was an auction held for the rest of the animals in his collection of exotic animals that he had. I'm not going to read you the full list but I am going to tell you some of the highlights. Okay. So he had three emu chicks. He had a bunch of exotic birds, like tons of exotic birds. He had like 15 different species of marmaset. He had two cassowaries. He had a bunch of zebu. He had, oh god, this list is overwhelming to look at.

He had a bunch of kookabaras as well, but like this was just a guy who just had them. Oh, he had some tamerans. A bunch of kookaburas. What would you do with them? He just had him. He just had him there. You can just do that. Why would you have cassowaria?

They're an awful creatures. They got him. They got him in the end. They certainly got him in the end. He was certainly hoisted by his own petard. You know what he should have done? Bitten that cassowary straight in his balls. Straight at his balls. Not sure where on a cassowary the big sagging balls are located.

But if you're trying to tangle with the cassowary this is my advice go into the enclosure turn you back to the cassowary sit down on the ground and then you lie back face straight up and when it comes at you you just say sit on this so you're being tea-bagged you're being halo tea-bagged. It's the only way to defend yourself. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tang. You tang. You're tang. tang. tang. tang. tang. tang. tang. tang. tang. tang. tang. tang. tang. tang. tang. tang. tang. tang. tang tang tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. the the the tie the the the the the the the the tie. tie. the tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. teee. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. te. tie. tie. tie. tie. this scenario. You've been halo tea-bagged. It's the only way to defend yourself is to proffer your open mouth for the animal to dunk its balls into and then you strike. Oh my god. Why did you bring us this article? You were like, you know what, let's talk about wealth inequality and then let's talk about a truck stop with the camels in it. Lady biting Caspen nuts.

Man can't survive on bread alone. That's so true. We also need roses, which is stories about women biting camels right on their nuts. Chomp. At a truck stop on the I-10 in Louisiana. Gross Tate. Makes you want to how fast people are driving on the I-10. I tell you who else has been driving a little too fast.

Oh, who? It's our friend. Mother fucking Shane Warn. Uh, now my shit's all messed up, and I'm going to have to record the warny song in post. Are you going to also sing over the top of it when you recorded in post? Yeah, I'm going to. I'm going to. It wouldn't be right to do it without it, I would it? I just want to make a note. I think if you're an American listener and you're annoyed that we're saying the I- work. People from fucking America, go fuck yourselves. That's right. How's America, Lucy? It's, I think everyone here should go fuck themselves. That's how it is. Woo! My town's got one highway, so I think we know how to say them. They're like, it's, I'm gonna to take the J-1.

Like bloody, just call it the bloody Princess Highway, like a normal place. Call it the Hube Highway and be done with it. Call it the Tugranon Parkway and then drive on it for a while. Just build a road and call it the Bruce Highway. It's very simple. Where are you bloody roundabouts? They're very useful. Oh no, you should have a fucking... No, I'm not going to re-litigate my beef with the full-waist, upside intersection as I have done, I feel, numerous times on this podcast.

A fucking worst invention, though. I don't know how that works. I don't even want to think about it. It's very confusing. I can panic attacks every time I pulled up the tha tho on let me put it this way though would you rather drive on I-10 or the Great Ocean Road? Now there's would you rather get out on Route 66 or Gimpy Arterial Road? Oh! Now there's something that just... It's a graphic, I like it. Bloody beautiful. You know what you're in for? You just want to get in a beautiful 60s muscle car

and get on the inner city bypass. Wonderful. So this was sent into us from a friend of the show, Incessant Tapper on Twitter. I wish they'd stop. And like eight other people emailed it in and, the you you th you th you th the the th. And, and the the the the the th. And, you the the, and the, you, and the, you, and the, you, you, you, and the, you, you, you, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you the, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, that th. Oh, that th. th. th. to to th. th. to. the the th. the to the to to to the show, Incessant Tapper, on Twitter. I wish they'd stop. And like eight other people emailed it in and DMed me on Twitter. We very thoroughly got this news immediately. So thank you very much everybody. Unfortunately, we must bring you the news that Shane Warren, you know what, before I get

into that, while we're hanging shit all over American listeners and such, let's just explain who Shane Worn is quickly for anyone who hasn't heard one of these segments in a while, maybe doesn't know. Lucy, would you like to explain who Shane Warn is and perhaps describe the man? He's the greatest spin bowler of all time. He's visually very tan. Very tan with very white teeth and blonde. I believe he still has blonde-tipped hair.

In my brain he always has blonde-tipped hair. I feel like he's very Ryan. He's got a Ryan Seacrest vibe about him. Yep. But older, like like leathery. Like Ryan's Seacrest is a handbag. He's gradually getting smoother as well, isn't he? He's uh, the man who's loving some fillers, bit of botoxy kind of thing. And he's horny. He's just so horny. Horny, warning. He cannot stop. Warning. Find the man on Instagram. Crack open his likes, and you will see a series of about 600 million pictures of just chicks in bikinis. I'm starting to wonder if Shane Warren knows that you can look at pornography on the internet.

Hey, come on man, it's not a fucking crime just a look at at a babe with big bazongers and say hubbber, hubbber. Come on, lay off him. He's just a normal man. He's just a standard dude liking like 10,000 of these pictures. Just a normal man who also happens to be the single most horny man alive. That doesn't make him unique. So Hornywony who doesn't know about porny has been banned from driving in the UK. They've taken us came up to him and said, you said, oh to, oh, oh, what's all this then? The constable. Well you're going a bit fast, isn't it? Oh, mate, I'm gonna have to nick that off you. No more driving for you, thriving for you, that. this then? The constable. Oh you going a bit fast in it. Oh mate I've got to have to nick that off you. No more driving for you mate. You can't

get by the wheel of a lorry anymore. Oh you know what happened he got pulled up and the the bobby came up and did the winding down the window motion and then shame will wound down the window and he said you you're nicked. He said, oh mate, you ain't half been speeding, have you? That will be tuppence for the fine. Poor warning. Now, sorry about this. Don't forget if you would like more specific coverage of British news, you can tune into our friends over at Trash Future.

You can hear accents very much like the ones we've just got doing. It'll pretty much sound the same. Less authentic. It'll pretty much sound the same. As Bobby's saying, you're Nick, didn't it? I will say, oh, Donald Trump, he's gonna be Nicked, ain't he? This Boris Johnson's a mad laugh. Oh, did you guys see the video of the dude being interviewed on the news who said,

uh, uh, Joris Bonson? Got him. Oh, no, like he said it by accident. No, he got him. He got him. Oh, I think they should just get on with it and leave. What is this Liverpool accent you've got going on here? Oh, I don't even know what to mean.

I ain't the president, Ajan. So in London, former Australian cricketer Shane Warren has been banned from driving for 12 months after admitting to a speeding charge in England. The ex spin bowler admitted breaking a... Now now there's a little problem with the article here, we'll figure it out, admitted breaking a 64 kilometer an hour limit in a hired Jaguar car in Kensington last year, Wimbledon Magistrate's Court heard on Monday. What was the limit? 64 kilometer an hour limit. In the very next sentence it says, the 50-year-old, who was not a the the the the the the limit? 64 km an hour limit. In the very next sentence it says,

the 50-year-old who was not in court for the hearing was clocked at 64 kilometers an hour at 629 a.m. on a slip road. It looks to me like somebody... Terrible. Sounds like warning should be acquitted. That's so true. Miss trial. You're gonna, you're gonna nick me for doing the speed limit limit???? the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. to to to to the to the the the the to the speed the speed to the speed the speed the speed to the speed the speed th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the th. the the th. th. the the th. th. th. the th. the th. the the th. the the th. the the the the the the th. th. the the th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the.. That's so true. Mistrial. You're gonna nick me for doing the speed limit? Are you having a laugh?

Are you having a laugh, governor? Are you having a crap of me? Are you having a crap of me, mate? One widely regarded as one of the best bowlers to play the game. That's true. That's 100% true. Had 15 penalty points on his license at the time for five fences. Warnie. Come on, mate. He was ordered to pay a total of $3,397 to the court. Deputy District Judge Adrian Turner told the court, the purpose of disqualification

is to punish and protect the public and to deter. That's what I'm imagining the judge to sound like. That is what judges sound like in... Between April 2016 and August last year, Warren committed six speeding offences. Warnie., cheeky fuck. What a lad. The absolute madman. Absolute lad.

The madman. Oh. It may well be that none on its own were particularly serious, but for points disqualification purposes, the triviality of the offenses is not to be taken into account. So take that, Shane Warren. You've had your license nixed by the bobbies. You hate to say it.

You do hate to say it. But you deserve it. You shouldn't speed. I think you should really obey the road rules. One time I respect cops. Cancel. Um, all. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that's that that that. that that that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's that's that's that's the that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoo cops. Cancel. All right.

That's it, I reckon. Okay, bye. That was quite a progression. Abrupt. That's right. We've got sucking. Sucking Billioners' Dix. Biting the nuts on cheeky camels and then Shane Warren.

That's what I call smoking. That's what I call smoking. Can I say when I'm having a cigarette? I'm gonna go bite the nuts off this camel. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I'll be back in a tick mate. Just gotta go bite the nuts off a few cheeky camels. Oh, hey, if you would like a bonus episode every week, I'm not talking to you guys now, I'm talking to the... I would though. The listener.

I'd love one. Oh, I can... Look, you guys can talk to me out of the show. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. That's disgusting, baby. But you, you, the listener. the listener, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, the listener, the listener, the listener, the listener. the, the listener. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I. the, I. the, I. the, I. the, I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the th. the the the to-lo-lo-l. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the pointing to themselves with a surprised but delighted expression They're mouthing who me?

Look it around. They're the other people train can't hear it. They're just mouthing. They're really like good looking. Oh, how like a modest kind of way. Real tall. He had bumping up against the roof of the carriage. Yeah, you really tall, good- to look, good-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-oing, th-oing, thoing, thoing, thoing, to-oing, to-oing, to-o-o-o-o-o-oom' to-oomorrow, to-a-a-a-a-o-o'-s. to-oing to-oing to-oing to-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-oing, tooing, tooing, tooing, their. their. their. their. their. their. their-n, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho'-s. train-s. train-s. train-s. train-s. train-s. train-s. train-s. train-sressed person on the train, maybe in the car. If you would like an extra episode of this show every single week, go to Patreon.com slash

Buntavista. Slap down your five American dollars. Like, we'll take it in whatever form, but that's what it comes out at in the wash, you know? Five American clams a month. one extra bonus episode a week who the fuck doesn't like that? Five Buckeers five Abraham Lincoln Thomas Jefferson George Washington it's one of them. Oh I hope that I put that one on the citizenship test one of the men on there. He's one of them. Oh, god damn. And that's it for us, folks.

Thank you for joining us, and we'll talk to you next week. Hey, bye. Goodbye. Good bye. Beep. Beep. Peep. Yeah.