Boonta Vista - EPISODE 125: You Don't Have To Go Home, But You Can't Stay Here

Episode Date: November 18, 2019

Andrew, Lucy, Ben & Theo attempt to understand Shadow Minister for Immigration and Citizenship Kristina Keneally's attempts to wedge the government by seeing who can be more of a dick to asylum seekers. We also look in on an overweight feline stowaway and a big time case of Short King Excellence in Paging Dr. Lucy. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to Buntavista. I'm stuck at the top of a Ferris wheel. I'm going to be honest with you. It stinks. It's wintertime. I thought, hey, how long could a Ferris wheel ride take? Then I got up here, all the power went out across the whole theme park. Sitting right next to me, starting to shiver because he refuses to go anywhere in a long pants and he's only wearing very short shorts. It's my friend Ben. I don't know if I'd say it's like a refusal. It's more that I don't own long pants.

Well, which in its own way is commitment to a lifestyle? Sort of. I mean I have the bottom half of a suit. Okay. But I'm simply not going to wear a sort of powder blue skinny leg slack to an amusement park. Why not? That sounds sick. Don't believe in dressing up is that the problem? I remember back in the 50s everyone treated going to an amusement park as you know a serious outing all the fellas put on their nice hats and a suit, all the ladies their finest of a bonnet and fascinator. And we all went out to ride the vomit comet together. Line up with the tower of terror.

Everyone has their briefcase with them. Yep, exactly. Hundreds of people dying when they were released in midair, flung through, off a roller coaster. Just photos going down Splash Mountain and everyone's reading a full newspaper. Broadsheet, arms fully extended in either direction like an albatross. Not a phone inside. Sitting opposite us, looking very bored of the Ferris wheel, it's Lucy. I wouldn't be bored. This is my biggest fear. This is number one fear is being stuck on a Ferris wheel. Stuck anywhere where I may feel like I need to use the bathroom.

And I have no way of doing so. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Nightmare. Yeah, and sitting next to her and absolutely refusing to look over the side, it's Theo. God, I don't like it. I don't like heights. I'm like being cold. Hey, whoa, whoa, hey, it's okay. Just close your eyes and think about integrals. That is calming, actually. I have to say, put some matrices in there. Oh, you got yourself a good time. Why not simply close your eyes and summon the image of a perfect circle, a perfect sphere,

if you will. Well, I mean, I think you'll find all circles are perfect. Well, in my eyes, at least. And while we're stuck up here, I guess we better find something to talk about, you know? We could talk about how, say, labor is the greatest political party of our time, so full of just commitment to principle, bold new ideas, not being super racist for the votes and all that kind of thing. Would I be correct in thinking that, Theo?

Well who else are you going to vote for? The Greens? Great point. Look, they can't form government because I don't vote for them. And I don't vote for them because they're, yep, and so on. And I think you'll find I've made a point the the the the the the the the th a th a th a th a tha tha tha tha tha tha thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi toeeeea toea toea toea toea''a'a'a'a'ea' toea' toea' toea' thooooooooea't vote for them because they're, yep, and so on. And I think you'll find I've made a point here. That's, it really is the, that really is the electoral conundrum that people continue to bring up for the Greens and it is the most frustrating shit in the world, isn't it?

They're like, well, they don't have enough seats to form government, so I won't vote for them. I'm not 100% clear on what the act of voting actually does though, so I just stay out of that one. I try voting for them for 20 years and when that didn't work. Oh, now I'm going to try voting against them, see if that gets them in power. Yeah, it's been a week, another week of Labour just being shitty and stupid, and of course let's preface all of this with just, let's imagine that a very pro-Labor centrist boomer is listening to this show for some reason, in which case I say, welcome. Hello. Hey! Hi! Thanks. centrist Boomer is listening to this show for some reason, in which case I say, welcome. Hello. Hey, hi. Thanks. It's lovely to have you here, you piece of shit. You son of a bitch. I would just suggest that we have a lot of overlap with you. You believe that good things are good,

but they can't happen. And we would say good things are good but maybe they should happen. And somewhere in the middle we'll meet. They should that. that. that. that. th. th. th. Hi th. Hi th. Hi th. Hi th th th. Hi. Hi. Hi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi, th thi thi thi thi. Hi, hi. Hi, hi. Hi, hi. Hi, th hi hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi th hi th hi th hi th hi th hi th hi th. Hi th. Hi th. Hi th. Hi th. Hi th. Hi th. Hi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they should happen. And somewhere in the middle we'll meet. They should, but the problem is they can't. They can't, because, I mean, who's going to do them? You know, not us. Not I. Not I. So yeah, this week we had the announcement that I'm, I apologize in advance to this gentleman for the butchering that I'm about to give to his name.

Go on, give it a go. Behrus Buchani? No, that's correct. That sounds right. Yeah, you nailed that. Okay, cool. Who is an Iranian refugee who had been in one of our horrible refugee camps for years, and he'd also basically been documenting everything that was there and being the sort of journalistic

eyes and ears of refugees in those camps for a lot of the time he was there. And there was an announcement this week that he had left, left Papua New Guinea to settle in New Zealand. And I guess like four supporters of his, the general vibe could be kind of described as like bittersweet. In the sense... It's extremely bittersweet, isn't it? Yeah, in the sense that obviously everybody is very happy for him to no longer be in that hellhole, while also being just supremely ashamed of the way successive Australian governments and the two major parties in general have handled all of this policy. And you might think to yourself, hey, hey, maybe this is a time for a bit of, better like, reflection.

A bit of reconciliation for the man that we put in prison for no crime and then didn't take him out. Yep, for a long time. But instead, Christina Kinealy, who is now Labour's immigration, shadow minister, spokesperson, whatever, put out a statement, a tweet saying, Labour welcomes news, Berus Bouchani has had the opportunity to depart Papua New Guinea. The opportunity to depart. Great wording there.

My fucking God. We look forward for Mr. Bucani having the opportunity to permanently resettle in a third country as soon as possible, wherever that may be. forward for Mr. Bouchani having the opportunity to permanently resettle in a third country as soon as possible, wherever that may be. That is so fucking dire. Um, which is a statement that is. Yeah, in my mind this instant. Why would you write that down and go like, yep, that is a good thing for me to say that's,

that's hit all of the points. As J.R. has kind of pointed out on Twitter, who is this for? Who is so narrowly carved this world view out that is like, I'm a person that believes that this guy shouldn't be there, but also that it was probably a good thing that we put him there in the first place, but it's also the LNP's fault that he was there for so long, but also we don't want him here. Who is that person? Yep. Who's the statement for? Who's the person that says, uh, this policy is good actually, but I don't want it to,

but I don't want it to to anyone? It is absolutely awful that we did this to him, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, and I, and I, and I, and I, tho, tho, and I'm, and thi, and thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th........ And, th... And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thr, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, too. Who, too. Who, who's, who's, it to him but we have to do it to him and we will continue doing it to everyone else and I hope this doesn't continue but we will continue doing it. Yes it's very bad that this happened to you but it's good that we were the ones to do it. That's pretty much Labor's angle on this whole thing so let me let me hear you with some more with some more the the the th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. to thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. te. te. te. the. the. the. me hit you with some more of this statement here. This is the expanded statement from Christina Ginilly. Labor welcomes news by Ruzbuchani and Iranian refugee journalist and award-winning writer. I wonder what he won awards for writing about. Hmm. Let's not dig into that, Christina, has had the opportunity to depart Papua New Guinea.

We look forward for Mr. Bouchani, terrible, having the opportunity to permanently resettle in a third country as soon as possible, wherever that may be, which is very, like a great ministerial way of saying, you know, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Jesus Christ. Yeah, just extremely like, hey, look, as long as it's not here, you can go wherever the fuck you like. Labor has been calling on the third term Morrison government to resettle eligible refugees in PNG and Nauru for close to six years. In recent weeks, we have seen refugees in PNG and Nauru resettling in Canada under the country's community's community community community community community community community the generous support of Canadian sponsors as well as Australians living there.

Oh, wow, that's the, we've done something good, haven't we? Yeah, take a little bit of credit there. Take a little bit of credit for, I'm assuming Australian activists in Canada, begging the Canadian government to let some of the people that Australia is horribly mistreating into their country and it's like Yeah, that's a bit of that Australian spirit that we all know and love says Christina Caneley the person who is Is backing this policy refugees have been languishing an indefinite their f-settlement Refugees have been languishing in indefinite.

to their thiikew. Fn't the th. because of Peter Dutton's sheer incompetence to negotiate practical and durable third-country resettlement. Hocking hell. It's so weird, you know, who put them there? So weird. How did they get there in the first place? I think what fucking sucks about this. And continuing on here, she says, labor strongly supports the US refugee resettlement deal and encourages all refugees who have been offered resettlement under that deal to accept the offer. The Morrison government should open discussions with New Zealand, negotiate appropriate conditions similar to that of the U.S. deal and accept the long-standing offer to

resettle eligible refugees. And like the thing that kills me about this is number one, obviously the third country resettlement option is not a sustainable thing. If it was, they would be doing it. Full stop. They would be settling people in other countries and saying, good, we got you the fuck out of here. Obviously, the conservative government has been trying to organize those third party deals with like, the places that you wouldn't want to go and live like like no offense to Cambodia but but yeah the idea like yeah the only

places that they've that they have negotiated deals with so far have been like Cambodia a third-world country where we're paying monstrous amounts of money to send people who have then just left that country. And this is in keeping with the whole general tone of this policy, which is, look, whether you stay here or whether you get out and go to another place, we want it to be very clear that you are being punished. We want it to be very clear that you are getting the raw end of the deal worse than if you just had have stayed where where where where where where where where where to stayed. to stayed. the the to be very clear that you are getting the raw end of the deal worse than if you just had have stayed wherever you are and died.

But yeah, this idea that if labor were in government that they would be successfully negotiating all of these third-party deals and that somehow every refugee who arrived in Australia would just be given like a nice packed lunch and a pat on the back and sent on their way to another nice place to live and everyone would magically be happy? The thing that's really weird about this statement to me though is the concept that a refugee having being recognized as a refugee which in Australia you know takes a monstrous amount of time in other places it does not because they're actually you know not fucking monsters but having being recognized as a refugee you getting off of Prison Island is contingent on

our geopolitical kind of dealings right on like someone being able to land a deal instead of us not putting them on prison island. Like, maybe there's somewhere in between that they could stay, like perhaps, you know, the least populous kind of continent on earth apart from Antarctica. Perhaps maybe there's a spot for them that's not on prison island in the meantime. Like, and I mean, to be perfectly clear, I'm, I'm, I'm in, the, I'm the, the the the, I'm the, I'm the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the them that's not on Prison Island in the meantime. And I mean, to be perfectly clear, I am entirely for refugees being housed in Australia permanently. But their statement is just bizarre.

Like we had no choice because we couldn't find the right deal. But Dutton had a choice to get a deal and make it good and get you guys off of it. Like, fuck off, just put them on Australia. That's the bill and end all of it, right? Like, it's just supremely strange to me that under any circumstance, these people should be held on an island at arm's length. And of course, the other part of this that th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu. to to thu. to to to to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, thu part of this that's a very tired point that we're all sick of discussing is that they spend, like our government spends billions of dollars every year in running these detention centers,

including when they're running the detention centers that don't have anyone in them. Uh-huh. Or one family, such as Christmas Island, where we've spent tens of millions of dollars to reopen and house these innocent folk. Yeah, we want to spend 25 million dollars to put some toddlers in detention because there's no other way that we could possibly have dealt with that problem. What else? What else is there to possibly do? Apart from put innocent people in detention? Well, yeah, so we pay all the money to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the money the money their their their their their their their their their their their their tense te te te te their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their te teoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeo. teoeoeoeoeoeoeo. teoeoeoeoeoeoen. to their their their their? Apart from put innocent people in detention. Well, yeah, so we pay all the money to house people in these detention centers, to set them up to run them, to have, you know, quote unquote medical staff, all that kind of thing.

But also they pay wild amounts of money like the Cambodia deal. The Cambodia deal, they literally just paid the Cambodian government money to take people. It wasn't a matter of like, can we negotiate a deal by which we trade some people or any of those sorts of things like I was with America. It was literally just, what if we gave you $60 million? How many people would you take? And they were like, 10. You know, and it wound up being th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. they th. the. that. the. the. they literally literally literally they the. they they literally literally they they they they they they they they're literally they would you take and they were like 10? You know it and it wound up being that the like I'm pretty sure that now there are no people from that deal still remaining in Cambodia so we paid Cambodia like I can't remember the exact figures but something like 60 million dollars to house no refugees. That's just a good deal

the deal. You gotta spend money to make money you know? that's so true the the the the so so so so the so the so the th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th th th th th so th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th the th the the the the th the tho the tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the theeeeee tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho a good deal, baby. Out of the deal. You gotta spend money to make money, you know? That's so true. So if you are one of these people who's like, yeah, but people, you know, refugees come over here, they're not really refugees, they're illegal immigrants and they're cue jumping and they're coming over here and taking our unemployment benefits and this sort of stuff. taking our, you know, taking our unemployment benefits and taking our social assistance and this sort of stuff. Even if that's what you believed, we would still spend way fucking

less money on just doing that. We'd spend far less money, which of course all does a great job of coming back home to really nail the point, that none of this is about doing the right thing or any of that sort of stuff. is about doing the right thing or any of that sort of stuff. It always has been and always will be about making an example of and punishing people who come here and what we've dog whistled to the electorate is the wrong way. And being the wrong kind of person too. Because as we all know if you happen to be like say a South African farmer or French au pair or something like that, hey, we'll pull out all those stops to get you

in there. Well, I mean, it's not like a gotcha that you did there. Like, those are two pretty important cases because the white South African farmers were being white genocided and if we didn't do that, the white race would be gone in a number of years years. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiii th. and I th. and I to to to too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too, and I too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, or too, or too, or too, or too, or too, or too, or too, or too, or too, or too, or too, or too, or too, or too, or too, or too, or to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, or thi, or thi, thi, thr-a, to thr-a. to to thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. toe. and if we didn't do that, the white race would be gone a number of years. And I assume the French Opeir was hot. Yeah, well, so it kind of goes to that saying, doesn't it? French babysitter. She's seeking refuge from a large skunk. Who you were? Who is a big pervert?

Yes. We're going to get a mad email now. Just like, the pervert skunk is one of our most beloved. Major exports, actually. Cultural exports. You're one of the signatories to the first declaration of democracy in France. How do you? So Christina chooses to wrap up this statement by saying, it is clear Australia can have strong borders without being weak on humanity.

You didn't have to post this. That's what I find baffling. You didn't have to say anything. Yeah, you did not have to just exhaustively define why Labour's policy sucks on this and how much of a monster you are. You could have just like gone for a long lunch? Hmm, done something else. Yeah. I can't see any scenario where this is going to make labor look good. It's just me.

Well, yeah, I just don't like, like Ben was saying about, you know, a friend of the show Jah Hennessy. Who, who is this for? Who, who is th? th? th? th? th, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, like, th, th, th, th, like, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo? th thi, th th like, like Ben was saying about, you know, a friend of the show, Jayhanacy, who is this for? Who do they really think are people who are looking at this stuff and genuinely saying to themselves, that's the Labour Party I know and love. Oh, Andrew, I know who this is for, and it is for the people that replied to, um, to Baroos's response. Oh my God. Yes, to say, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th th th th th th th th this, who this, who this, who is this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this, who is this, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, I this this this, I this, I this, I th. th. th. th is th is th is th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is thisthat replied to, um, to Baroza's response. Oh my God. I guess to say, um, hey, you should be nicer to Christina, she's doing you a favor here. So he, I think it's, it's safe to say that he has not responded well to this. As a man who has been wrongfully imprisoned for six years, um,

should, right? So he's, he's come out and said, such a ridiculous and unacceptable statement by the Labour Party, you exiled me to Manus and you have supported this exile policy for years. I don't need you to welcome resettlement for me in a third country. I'm in a third country now. Don't need you. If you are honest, do something for others who are suffering in PNG and NARU. In my view, anyone who supports this barbaric policy is criminal and terrorist, such a shameful statement by Labour Party. So I feel like he's put a pretty fine point on that. Get her, sweetie.

Uh-huh. And the replies to this tweet are I would say eye watering. Hey, don't bite the hand that feeds you while also imprisoning you for not committing a crime and also for being a refugee. Well, hey buddy, I supported you when you seemed like an all right guy that we imprisoned, but now. Yeah, when you were kind of railing against the Liberal Party for doing this, I was fully on board, you know, says a man wearing one of those fighting Tories, elbow shirts. But to criticize the Labour Party for holding exactly all of the same beliefs, that's just simply too much. I would go even further

and say it's not even about not criticizing them. Not thanking the Labour Party for not doing anything to get you out of the prison they put you in. Oh my God. What is he supposed to be thankful for? Fuck. And then, you know, I feel like perhaps maybe it was because the statement was not civil, which, again, it's rude. Oh. Very important to Labour borders.

I get that you were in a fucking suicide camp for seven years, but please be nice. Come on. Please. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all, I think. Now it should be noted here that Christina Canili is following a very well trodden path here for labour, federal labour politicians, which is that she was the former Premier of New South Wales, she's now a senator and deputy leader of the opposition. She was very vocal about refugees right up until she entered federal politics. Wow, what a weird?

Isn't it weird, all of these people that get elected. What a strange pattern. Yeah, all these people who get elected for the Labour Party on this platform of, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that get elected. Yeah, all these people who get elected for the Labour Party on this platform of like, hey, I'm a staunch advocate for refugee rights and everything, and I'm going to get in there and make a difference, and then they get voted in and locked into like a six-year term like Christina here, and all of a sudden they're just like, well it's the party position, so what are you going to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do th. Or, or th. Or, or th. Or, or th. Or, or th. Or, or th. thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. And, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th... And, th... And, th.. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. theean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, the. the. they're just like, well, it's the party position, so what are you going to do? Or in Christina's case, specifically, becoming the shadow immigration spokesperson and choosing to take the angle of, I've got an idea, let's try to wedge the liberal party on who can be more cruel to refugees, who can be harder on, who can can have an even stronger strong borders policy and I was extremely dismayed to see something else that she put a release out about the other day which was she's posted a series of things on Twitter saying

Breaking the Australian Senate successfully passed my order for the production of documents about airplane people and the public's right to know. This means Peter Dunn will have to release monthly statistics about airplane arsaiplain to seek asylum. And she then goes on to say, 100,000 people, that's how many people have arrived in Australia by plane and claimed asylum under the liberals, double the number of people who arrive by boat under labor, and it's all part of a border crisis that's unfolded

on Peter Dunn's watch. Now, this is a thing that people used to talk about in a different context, which was when, when, like a lot of the boat people stuff was at its most feverish pitch in Australian media, particularly at times in elections between labor and the liberals. A lot of people would kind of make the point of, hey, when you look at our immigration numbers, the number of people who actually arrive by boat and apply for asylum are actually a really small minority of this. So it's weird that we're like psychotically focused on this as a country.

And the idea that people arriving by boat specifically is some sort of a very, very big horrible impact on our border security or whatever is kind of strange when you consider that actually many more people arrive by plane and immediately claim asylum like in the airport or people who arrive by plane and immediately claim asylum like in the airport or people who arrive by a plane and then overstay their visa and just don't leave or whatever. But of course, people were making that comparison in the context of, it's weird to be so focused on the boat stuff when it's actually such a tiny minority of people who immigrate here for, you know, different reasons and claim asylum.

So instead, Christina has decided to try and turn this into a, ah, you are actually failing because there are so many people applying for asylum in Australia who aren't arriving by boat and you're not doing anything about them. You're not punishing those people like we do to people who arrive by boat. And I was particularly disgusted by seeing her use the phrase in this first statement, airplane people. That made me fucking furious because as anybody who's followed Australian politics or any stretch of time knows the term boat people has become synonymous for, depending on, you know, which way you lean politics-wise, it's either become synonymous

with asylum seekers or illegal immigrants. Just sub-humans, essentially, I feel is the undertone? Well, yeah, absolutely, because the thing you're saying isn't, it's not about whether or not people are arriving illegally, it's not about whether or not people are applying for asylum, you are the only way in which you care to associate these people with anything is the mode of transport by which they arrived and to see her trying to make a new one of these to sit alongside boat people, it's fucking disgusting. Pretty gross. I looked at the election the the election the election the election the election the election the election the election the election th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the that that that thate thate tho tho thate thate tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's not th. It's not that that that that that that thate the the the toe the toe toe the the the the the the the the the thoo tho the to make a new one of these to sit alongside boat people. It's fucking disgusting. Pretty gross.

I looked at the election results and they said, what we need is a new kind of racism. Whole new kind of racism. Make a unique labor angle on the racism. This is the labor racism. It's not like your LNP racism, which is very, very simple and insidious, this is a kind of complex racism that you can really get some good, you know, palette, some back palate kind of flavors from. And of course, labor being labor, they would love to try and have it both ways here.

So she continues on. When you break down the Morrison government's numbers, between first of July this year and 31st of August, 65 people per day have arrived in Australian claimed asylum. With the numbers blowing out of control year on year, oh, being swamped, swamped by them. This is a border crisis of the liberal national government's own making. 85% are not genuine refugees, she says, but because of the Department of Home Affairs go slow processing of asylum claims, they can remain in Australia for four or five years with work rights.

Oh no, what will happen? Well, she says, to put simply, it's a work scam with trafficked people being exploited. Oh, come on. Just last week, the project spoke to some of the 100,000 people who arrived in Australia as part of this work scam run by criminal syndicates. Some paid $2,350 just to gain a job in Australia. And the report they're talking about says the fruit and vegetables in your kitchen might have been picked by an illegal worker and Victoria's farmers say the only way to get their progues to you is to work with them the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoe 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 100 to to to to to to tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoe. thoe. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. I the. I. I. the. the. illegal worker, and Victoria's farmers say the only way to get their produce to you is to work with them.

Which for starters sounds a lot like the whole the only way to run a restaurant is by paying slave wages. But... It's just terrible. I feel like obviously we should punish the victims of these crimes. Well yeah, I love that the thing that she's angling for here, of course, that there's no clear expression of like, hey, these people are being exploited and what we should do is actually open up the channels by which people could arrive in Australia legitimately and seek work and resettle here. Instead it's just, hey, there's all these illegals coming here illegally and liberals aren't doing anything about the b-a-the-t the the the the the their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's there's there's there's there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's there's there's there's there's there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no there's, there's all these illegals coming here illegally

and liberals aren't doing anything about the border crisis of all the illegals that's out of control and maybe a dirty illegal immigrant picked your fruit and they're being exploited. And we want to help them by dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot. Making sure they never gain entry to the country in the first place. Is that howto help them by, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, making sure they never gain entry to the country in the first place? Is that how we help them? It's it, you're 100% right in that they absolutely want this always at once. They're trying to somehow outflank themselves on the left and the right at the same time. Yes, absolutely. Classic labor areas of let's try to be all

things to all people, make everybody happy and somehow wind up pissing off everybody in the process. We love refugees unless you don't like them, in which case we also don't like them. You just let us know. Let us know. We'll get back to you. Yeah.'t know, yeah. Miniature American flags for some. Yeah, it's just so frustrating to look at because I know we keep coming back to the same point, but again, who is this for? Who looks at this and says? Got it, great.

It's perfect. This is exactly what I wanted to see. I'm going to assume it's the exact average of a few focus groups. That's what they lauded at. I'm like, ah, some of the people in there said, well, I am concerned. Some of the people said, I am concerned about illegal immigrants coming here and taking work. And some of them said, well, I'm concerned about workers being exploited and mistreatment of asylum seekers and they went, let's find that sweet spot right in the middle, baby, hole in one, shooting from downtown. And yeah, I just, I just cannot understand because if there is one thing that we've seen

over and over again in recent elections here and with the Democrats in America, it's that this idea that you can try to like out racist the conservative party in your country on border policy while also making these little overtures to human rights for your own voters. The only thing that winds up happening is that people who are your traditional voting base look at you and say, wow, this is really shit and I'm very disillusioned about you and even if I do vote for you, I'm going to do it very begrudgingly and because I don't think there's many other options and everybody else will look for another

option and anybody on the right wing was never gonna vote for you anyway. God, how many begrudging labor votes do you think there was in this last election? Most of them. Most of them were just like, I guess. No, it must have been all those people out there who were fucking psyched to vote for Chloe Shorten's husband. Oh, God. I forgot about that. It blocked it from my brain. But also, it's like, don't try and be more racist than Peter Dutton. He's been doing it a lot longer than you. He's a pro.

And he's just going to come out with every airplane arrival is smuggling a raccoon under their shirt, and those raccoons are also going to take your jobs. And he'll just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's th. I thoes thoes thoes th. I's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I will th. I's th. I'll th. I'll the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to the. to to the. I's the. I's raccoons are also going to take your jobs and he'll just say that at a press conference and like 70 to 80% of his base will believe him and then that will be the new problem right like you can't you can't find this sweet spot because they will just move the window to the right that's the they will just take that from you because you've carried it so far for them right to say oh well th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their.. their. their.. their... their. their.. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. t. And. And. And. the. And. And. the. And. And. the. the. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. the. that's the only thing. They will just take that from you because you've carried it so far for them, right, to say, oh, well, this is right in the center is where the Overton window belongs. And then they're just going to go, thank you very much, and pick that up and drag it to the right. It's not going to help. Yep. And yeah, just as we've seen over and over again, it just doesn't work.

Like if you let them set the terms of engagement on particular things and say, okay, we're going to try and compete in this, your specific area, this is where labor just keeps falling down, pants around angles over and over again, is either trying to show themselves to be, you know, the low taxing party who supports small businesses and or the party that's going to be tough on borders and all that sort of shit is that people who are actually from the working class demographics that that party is supposed to exist on behalf of say, great, so no interest in actually helping me in any way shape or form. And the people who are going to vote for the liberals just look at them and say, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the party the the party the party the party the party the party, the party, the party, or the party, or the party, or the party, or the party, or thi, thi, or thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, or thi, or thi, or thi, or thi, or thi, or thi, or that, or that, or that, or that, or that, or that, or that, or that, or that, or that, or that, or th form. And the people who were going to vote for the liberals just look at them and say, you guys are fake.

You're fucking fake and I don't believe in any of this and like also I absolutely hate you guts. So I'm never going to vote for you anyway. So yeah, just hugely disappointing stuff from the Labour Party. No indication of any of this changing any time soon, which is very cool I think we can all agree. But hey, what's the solution? What's the solution going to be from Peter Dunn? Is it going to be, oh, okay, in that case, I'm going get Home Affairs Gestapo squads to board each plane in the airport before people disembark and check everybody out and then if anybody there is there illegally, we'll keep them on the plane and force the plane to fly to another country,

like we do with boat turnbacks. Should we have plane turnbacks too? Is that what the fucking solution is going to be here for Christina? Who knows? But in order to hear another story about illegal arrivals on planes. Nice. Thank you. It's time for this is your captain speaking. Please return your seats of their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of Plainly Speaking. Lucy. That was a smooth intro. I liked it. Thank you. I'm hearing reports about somebody on a plane who wasn't meant to be that. That is, uh, certainly what happened. This is, uh, from the New York

Times. I chose this one because it had the most extremely New York Times headline. His 22 pound cat was too fat to fly. So he called in an understudy. Ah, so good. It's a real feel-good story we've got here. A man who tricked his way into getting his overweight cat into the passenger cabin of a plane has been penalized. the the the the most most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most extremely the most the most extremely the most extremely the most extremely the most extremely the the the the the the the the most extremely the most extremely the most extremely the most extremely the the most extremely the most extremely the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the new. new. new. new. new. new. new. new. new. new. new. new. the new. new. the new. new. the most extremely new. the most extremely the most extremely the most extremely the most extremely the most extremely tricked his way into getting his overweight cat into the passenger cabin of a plane has been penalized by a Russian airline. Firstly, I don't know why he got to take his cat in the passenger cabin, but I like it.

I respect it. A support cat? I guess you can just have a support animal. There's always these support animal stories in America. You can just say that something is a th is a th is a th is a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a thiiii, it is a thi, it is a thi, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th just say that something's your support animal here and bring it anywhere. It's incredible. So Aeroflot, which I believe is Russian for a plane flight. Floating plane. Float plane.

Stripped the passenger, Michael Garland, of his air miles, rude, and removed him from their frequent flyer program after he bragged on social media about sneaking his hefty pet on board by switching him for a lighter cat during check-in. When airline employees to tell Mr. Garland that his 22-pound cat, Victor, nice cat name, was simply too heavy to fly in the passenger cabin on a flight to Vladivostok in eastern Russia, he devised a plan to ensure his kitty did not wind up in the cargo hold. He said in a post on Facebook that he delayed his flight and used air miles to secure a business class seat for himself and Victor. After asking friends for help, he then sourced a 15 pound feline called Phoebe, describing

her as an understudy cat. He presented the slimmer cat at check-in. She came under the airline's limit of 8 kilograms or about 17 pounds for animals flying in the passenger cabin. They're approved for takeoff. Unknown to Aeroflot and its staff, Mr. Garland swapped Phoeby for his real pet victor before boarding the plane. What is the rule here?

I don't know. It's bizarre because there's no like, you don't have to put your weight when you're flying. Do they have like one of those baggage signs out the front, but it has like a cat. You're gonna weigh your cat on it. And then like eight kilos with a downwards arrow. Like, is this what's happening here? Do you have to put your cat on the scale? You just carry your cat up to the thing and just chuck him on the scale?

Get a little tag put on it, say, Wade. Anyways, this guy was unable to resist the temptation to capture the moment, took photographs and post them on Facebook and Instagram. Rookie mistake. The cat was documenting the crime. Documenting the crime. The cat was snapped in a pet carrier in front of a glass of what appears to be sparkling wine.

He was also shown being held up to the plane window with Aeroflot's branding clearly visible on the headrest. Those images eventually played a role in his downfall. I would love to be there for when they sit this guy down and say, would you care to explain this picture? It's just the cat with like a glass of champagne. Big fat cat with the air-float logo right there. So that is the story, but there is an amazing line in here.

The story of the cat swap became so widespread in Russia that it was even mentioned on Wednesday in a daily call between President Vladimir Putin and Russian journalists. Mr. Putin said that the Kremlin did not comment about cats. Oh it's amazing. Incredible stuff. So I'm pretty sad for this guy lost Lustol his airplane miles for, you know, how much heavier could the cat have been? They say 17 pounds and he was 22 pounds, ridiculous. A pound is like a, a, a, a, it's barely a kilo. It's barely a kilo or something like that.

I believe a 2.2 pounds is a kilo. Well, it's nothing. It's a 10 kilo cat. It's a big cat. And he deserves to be on the flight. I think he deserves to be in business class. Good for him. What a last flight though, you know, for that. Yeah, what a way to go out with your Aeroflot, Miles. He doesn't get to go anywhere else forever. Very concerning stuff here. So, like you're saying, before the second flight from Moscow, a fastidious employee weighed Victor

and declared him too tubby to continue to fly in the cabin. Verude. Who's then offered the chance to check the curtain to the hold, he said he engineered the swap because he feared Victor would be traumatized by such an experience and might not survive the eight-hour flight. Um, well, my God. And apparently Aeroflot does have a terrible record with this kind of thing. Last year a French bulldog named Coquido died after a flight attendant placed the animal in an overhead compartment. Oh my goodness. On a United Airlines Aflot. Oh that wasn't sorry, apologies to Aeroflot. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh sorry apologies to Aeroflot. Wow. Wow. We are going to get sued by Aeroflot. Official apology of the show to Aeroflot. We're

sorry. And the same airline phased questions in 2017 when an apparently healthy giant rabbit died in the cargo hole. What are you people doing with your pets? You don't have to fly your giant rabbit, really, right? No, you don't. What are you going to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do? to do? to do? to do? to do? to do? to do? to do? to do? to do? to do? to do? to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get? We to get? We to get? We to get? We to get? We to get? We to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get a to get a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their doing with your pets? You don't have to fly your giant rabbit really, right? No you don't. What are you going to do? Take it there by boat? My big support rabbit on a cruise? That sounds like a great movie. It's all Wes Anderson type shit. Oh dear, he explained the cat's unusual size was because of its breed, though he did not specify which one. He added that he had asked the person sitting next to him if they had any allergies. Oh, well, that's fine. That's nice.

Very considerate. Um, yeah, I don't feel like a 10 kilo cat is really going to, you know, require an extra barrel of fuel into the plane or anything. Also, I feel like there should be as many pets as possible on planes. I really feel like we're going the wrong way with this policy. Yeah. Like air travel sucks, right? Like, you want some do little airlines type shit. That would be amazing. Just a dog plane.

Yeah, goat. Well, like on those pictures of, I don't know what country it is one of the Arab countries where everyone's got's they's they's they's they's they's they's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. the. the. tho. th. one of the Arab countries where everyone's got like a their falcon. Yeah I absolutely saw multiple falcons at Abu Dhabi in my in a little stop over there just people just walking straight through the air. Just with their falcons it's incredible we're were they wearing the little hats. We're like on baby shit here. We're really like on baby shit here. We're really they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're like they're like they're they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're. they're. they're. they're they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like they're like like they're like like they're like like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Just with their falcons. It's incredible. We're... Were they wearing the little hats? We're like on baby shit here. We've really got to get to the falcon on a plane. They were wearing little little goggles, hats, they can't see. Keep them nice and calm. You don't want to put one of them on me every now and then. Just Google Falcon plane and I tell you're going to be the the their their their their their their their to to their their to their their to their to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. We're going their th. Wea. We're going to go go go go. We're going together. We're going together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. We're going. We're going. We're going. We're going. We're going. We're going and you're going to be happy with what you see. You're going to enjoy yourself. You'll receive pictures of the F-16 Fighting Falcon. I need one of those. I giggled Falcon on a plane because I anticipated that that might happen.

Mmm, nice. I need one of those little helmets so that when I see like a really stupid post online, I can just sit back at my desk and just put it on over my own head. Black everything out, just relax for a minute, you know? I'm pretty certain Silicon Valley has some sort of solution for you. Well, speaking of solutions, we do love to provide solutions to people's problems. Leading to our next segment, it's Paging Dr. Lucy theme, welcome aboard. Paging Dr. Lucy is of course the segment in which we delve into some of the worst parts

of the internet as people ask for advice on particular subjects and we get Lucy to give her to render her advice about relationships and such. As I as I am an expert as a married person now I believe I can give unsolicited advice. So this is from a subreddite which is pretty new to me which is obviously a variation on am I the asshole. Is this the same one or is this a different one? which is obviously a variation on Am I the Assol? Is this the same one or is this a different one? This is from Am I the Butface. So they haven't just renamed it to be polite?

No, this is like the wholesome version of Am I the Arsol? Yeah. Where people are supportive and provide actual answers, I think is how they frame themselves. Okay. How very American. This is for the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same this is the same this is this is the same the same this is this is the same this is the same the same this is the same is this is the same is the same is the same is this is the same is the same this is the same this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same?? the same the same the same the same the same the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same one the same, they frame themselves. Oh, okay. This is for the, this is the, for the same audience of the people that buy books that have swears in the titles, but also the swears are censored out so that you don't have to look directly at a swear word. Oh man, I loved. Sort you, H. H. H. H. K. I. And, th. I. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. I. I. I. I. I. S. I. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S.............................................................................................................................................. out. It was a wonderful book. So yeah, I think that am I the butt face is like the PG 13 extension of Am I the Assole which in and of itself seems to have sprung out of the relationships subreddit or the relationship advice subreddit. I think possibly because maybe it maybe is a structure,

people like it better when you are forced to preface your answer by just saying here is a binary yes, no other proclamation on this thing and then you can get into more detail, but I think it makes it easier for on each post they can just kind of tally those bananas and say according to this most of these people think you are in fact the butt face. So this one this one is kind of they kind of buried the lead on this one where the title was am I the buttface for breaking up with a guy for holding the door for me. Certainly buried the lead That is a click bait headline. Under statement of the year, because you know, I mean we would all see that and think to

ourselves, hey, have we finally found... Has feminism gone too far? Yeah, we finally found the mythical example of the woman who is mad at you for holding a door for her. We finally hit the fabled cousin's limit. Yep. I do love saying that anytime that I've ever heard anybody say in real life, people will get mad at you for holding a door for them and I immediately say please describe to me the times that this has happened to you. And weirdly enough most people don't have an example

and I thought we'd really found one here. But instead, allow me to read to you this Reddit post. Hey, that headline sounds bad, but there's more to the story. I just couldn't think of a title that encompassed all of it. 22 female, I dated this guy, 27-year-old male, for about a month and he was a little od I noticed a few things about his behavior that at least to me were red flags. Probably, I think she's doing better than the average Reddit user. She said red flag already so uh, that's good. Yeah, just being able to proclaim these things to be red flags rather than asking if they are. He was super rude to wait staff. That should be it. That's the end of the date. That's it. That's th. That's th. That's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. to to to theeeee. to to theeeeeeeeeeeeeee. theeee. the. the date. That's it. That's done. Like break up. There's nothing more to say about it. How do you get any further

than that? We went out to dinner on more than one occasion and every time he was just generally incredibly rude to waiters and waitresses. He never said anything outright mean but he would be very short, blunt and often condescending in his toe the toe toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, to to to to to th, to to to th th the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to the, to the, th, to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the thi that that to that to that to that to the that that that the the that thi the the the th'd stare at me the entire time or at the menu, hammer out his order in his weirdly authoritarian tone of voice, and then just hand the menu over without even a glance in their direction. He practically slapped a short wedress in the face with one once when he just blindly flung his menu in her direction. So, yeah, this is already a good reason Already enough reason to not date this dude. He had a very aggressive need to pay for everything. He always had to drive, even if it meant him driving an hour out of his way to pick me up,

and then 30 minutes back in the opposite direction wherever we went. It wasn't acceptable for me to even just meet him in town. This is in the rural Midwest. We lived in two separate, tiny towns townownownownownownownownownownownownownownownownowneeeysyse. theaa. thiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. the th. to, th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, town. This is in the rural Midwest. We lived in two separate tiny towns on opposite sides of a bigger city, which is where we pretty much always had dates. The straw that broke the camel's back for me was on our last date. We went to the movie theater and he was incredibly forceful about opening a door for me. As in, he was speedwalking, quite visibly speed walking to make it to the door before me, but I still managed to beat him to it at a standard walking pace, and he literally shoved me out of his way so he could

hold the door open for me. Incredible. I think it's not controversial to say that of all of the kinds of walking, speedwalk is by far the funniest. It's inherently funny. Just like the level of seriousness you have to have on your face to do it. And the act itself? Very funny. I completely agree.

I almost fell over. He shoved me that hard. He then proceeded to practically run me over to make it to the inner set of doors and opened that for me too, and shoulder checked me in the process. Oh my he is here is here is here is here is here is here here here here here here here here here here. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the and shoulder checked me in the process. And here's where we really find out what's going on, folks. He was a pretty short guy. I'm 5'2 and he was maybe 5-4. He spent that entire movie pretty much pinning me down in my seat with my ass hanging

off the edge so he could keep his arm over my shoulders. Oh sweetie. Short King! It was obvious he was straining to sit as straight and tall as he could to get his arm across. I sat through that entire movie barely even in in a seat I was slouched so low, with my neck and head craned forward because of his arm that no matter how much I tried to shove off or wiggle away from, he would just not move. If I managed to get him off within 30 seconds, he'd be back at it. Hey, if I managed to get someone off within 30 seconds, I imagine they'd come back to me as well. Hey! Oh, way! But you have never managed it?

I've never gotten anyone off. So no time frame of blitz. One day. Surely. No, they probably have. It's a wild world. I'm not going to proclaim anything like that, you know. Stranger things have happened. That's all I'm saying. I went home thoom thoom thoom thoom thoom th th th th th th th th th th th anger things have happened, that's all I'm saying. I went home, told him I had a nice time, but I didn't think it was going to work out.

And then promptly never spoke to him again, aside from a few short messages, explaining that I just didn't feel any romantic feelings. I thought there were some pretty clear-cut red flags, but according to a few of my friends, I was being dramatic and petty for not going out with them anymore. They said he was just trying to be a gentleman. But in my eyes, if you have to literally push someone out of the way to be nice, you're not really being nice. And being rude to employees in the service industry is just trashy.

You right. It's true, lady. I feel like we're being probably a little harsh on this guy, though, because he's clearly escaped from some sort of 15-year old boy imprisonment situation where all the only media had to consume was like the first episode of Mad Men and like a 2004 pick-up artist book. And he's just, he's just gotten out, instead of getting revenge, he's trying to live his best life and just mimicking like the movements that somebody on a date should actually make, right? He's 27, I just want to date when I was like 13 or 14, right?

And still the same size. There's so, this so,this man is 27 years old. And still the same size. There's so many of these types of posts where, yeah, it's just the thing you kind of have thinking to yourself is like, how have you not got any better at this over time? I believe this one. They've learned about dating just through cultural osmosis. I keep getting an ad on YouTube. I feel like I just sort of see the same like five ads in rotation just because I skip everything. Or maybe this is one of those confirmation buyers things where I get plenty of ads but this is the only one that I noticed because it fills me

with a white-hot rage and it's for like some type of pickup artist shit. Which which is like not a thing that you want to see advertised as a good idea product, you know? What you've been watching, Andrew? What you've been watching? I don't know what I'm watching to get this. I assume it's the the times that I watched like a clip of Joe Rogan talking to a martial artist that's got to be it yeah probably that's this although by all accounts you you can watch basically anything on YouTube and have it go hey would you like to watch six thousand videos of Ben Shapiro destroying you

are are you interested in white nationalism yeah just a dashed to get you started you know just a to taste a little one yeah but but every one of of of th of th of th of th of th of the th of the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. the the th. th. th. the the the th. the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. thi. thi. the the th started, you know? Just a taste. Just a little one. But every one of these videos, it's just the same ad. Every time I see it, the first like 10 seconds that you can't skip is this guy walking up to women in the street as somebody else furtively videotapes him, which is great. Women love that. Women love to be secretly videotaped. Going up to women and walking up the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their their their their their th. thoes, thoes, thoes, thoom. thoom. thoes, thi. thiol- tastea' taping, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, thoes, thoes, thi. But, thi. But, thi. But, thi. But, thi. But, thi. But, thi. But, tasks, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, tososk, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, t. But, that. Women love to be secretly videotaped. Going up to women and walking up going, hi, my name is Dave and holding out his hand to shake their hand, whatever the fuck his name is. And they go, hi, and he's like, what's your name? And they go, Debbie or whatever. And just clips of him over and over doing that and saying, the most powerful thing you can say to a woman is your name.

Oh God, this stuff is so embarrassing. Like it's an amazing icebreaker to like just walk up and confront a stranger in the street and there's just that whole strain of shit in pick up artistry type stuff where they think it's like, they think they're teaching you but what they're actually teaching you is to just go up and get in somebody's face and not let them get away from you for several minutes. But there's also this weird element that's like, women are like a chicken and you need to draw a line away from their face three times to hypnotize them, and then they'll be all over you. Well I mean it's like you know so much of what you see spoken about

with a lot of this sort of stuff is you know how much of how much of our society particularly is about socially conditioning women to just like go with it and not make a fuss and don't embarrass men and don't you know cause a scene and all that sort of shit that everything is always the onus is on a woman to be the accommodating one in any given scenario and you can just see that playing out in these tiny clips of shit of just a guy going up and going, hi I'm standing you know one meter in front of you now talking directly to your face in a public place and asking you a question and you can just see people.

This happens, by the way, like very often. This has happened to me many times. What people just coming up and going, hi, my name is this. Yeah, or it's clear that these guys have like, you know, heard something or read something from one of these pick up artists things and just like coming up to you in public places and just being annoying in a way that you have to be polite because they're not, you know, you just try to politely get out of the scenario and this happens all the time. Please don't do this.

You just wonder, like, how many of these times, does some young woman go, yeah, I'll tell you my name because you're hassling me about it in front of you know a bunch of strangers because we're just standing here and if somebody keeps like you know subtly making moves to stop you from walking away from them and all that sort of thing I wonder how many people just essentially get very publicly pressed into giving someone their phone number and then the guy walks away going I did it I hypnotized the chicken yeah yeah and like so much of it is just this like like th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th l like like th th th th th l like th th l like th l like thi thi. thi. the l like the l like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their. their their their. their their their. their their their. their their their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. the. I's the. theeeeeeeeeeeeo. theeeo. theeeo. theeeeo. theeeeeo. the. I's the. I's the phone number and then the guy walks away going, I did it, I hypnotized the chicken. Yeah, and like so much of it is just this like logic puzzle for them to be like if we can say the right thing, it'll trick them into going out with us. Like, you know, if a woman gives you the number,

make sure to call it straight away. And they're not the wrong number because you're not interested in me. Can you give me the right number? It seems like you hate you. I really want to make sure that I do see you again. Yeah, I wanted to check that you're a details-oriented man. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's just this thing of like, if a woman gives you a number and you think it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I've th. I th. I th. I thin, I th. I th. Yeah, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. tell, tell, tell, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's just this thing of like, if a woman gives you a number and you think it, I've seen that shit like float by on Twitter and stuff before of like, if you think a woman's giving you the fake number, call it immediately. Like she's just going to be like, oh yeah, no I agree. Trust but verify. Yeah. And yeah, like we're all saying, what we're all saying, what do we think is going to happen here? the woman's th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah th. Yeah th. Yeah th. Yeah th. Yeah. Yeah. Like th. Like th. Yeah. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like we're th. Like we're th. Like we're all thi thi. Like we're all th. Like we're all th. Like we th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. think is is going to happen here that the woman's going to go ah fuck you got me you solved one of my riddles three you're so clever I have intercourse with you to me you are a done draper to me yes now now now I must have begrudging sex with you the best kind the best kind just john yeah just just terrible shit and like the thing the thing that you know the thi. thinne. thr-I thr-I thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thi thin thin thin thin thin. thin. T. thin. thin. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi of flummoxes me about all this sort of stuff is, there are just, in the same way that, you know, before shit like Tinder, people used to meet each other and go out on dates and stuff like that.

There are like normal, non-psychotic ways of speaking to other people in public, but they generally have to be kind of something that has come up naturally. Like, you know, you and someone else are thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi, thi, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th. The th th, th. The thi. The thi. The thi. The thin. The thi. The thi. The thi. The thi. The thi. The thi. The thi. The thi. The thi. The thi. Theto be kind of something that has come up naturally. Like you and someone else are in the same part of like a grocery store or like in a queue waiting for something and a conversation naturally happens about some other thing that's taking place. That's just lost on these guys though. It's to them it's just you can't speak to women anymore. You're not allowed to speak to women or you're sexually assaulting them. That's. That's th th th th th th th th th th the th the way th th the way the way th the way the, it's to them it's just you can't speak to women anymore You're not allowed to speak to women or you're sexually assaulting them That's just the way they interpret these things. Yeah, I mean like what you what should be happening is you go up to You know you're waiting for the show to start at a you know at a concert or what have you and you taught to tell you tell you took the the the the the the took the tell the tell tell tell the the tell tell to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the gym on the treadmill what you want to do is walk straight over to the treadmill hit the stop button so that she's immediately flung off of the end and then while she's recovering she'll be

open to your kind of masculine pressures. If she has headphones in try talking louder. Yeah I feel like a lot of this comes down to those like, try pulling to those like complete misinterpretations of things like, you know, when people say things like, oh, women, women want a guy to be assertive or to be confident. And that doesn't mean come up and hassle me while I'm clearly doing something, you know, I'm reading a book somewhere in solace. What I would love is for you to come up and interrupt me and talk to me about the book or whatever. Hey, what's that you got there?

Is it a book or something? I love those? Hey, you're like a word, some. You're like, you study him for a test or something? You got one of those Harry Potter's. Why is he a loud New York man? That's the most confident person I can imagine. I like it. I think I'm into it. We gotta take this guy.

Geez, bada-bing, bada-bum. You want to go with me and get a sandwich sometime, it'll be great. I don't know, are they really this many people who just genuinely have absolutely no frame of reference for how to just have a conversation with someone? Yes. Especially with women. I think it sucks because a lot of these guys are young and impressionable. They don't know how to speak to girls and they look in the wrong places when really

all you need to do is to treat women as people. Well I guess the do is to treat women as people. Well I guess the problem is... Treat them like what? Baffling. Huh? You mean like men? Oh, you mean, you mean it's good to have a girl who's just like one of the guys, got it.

Just one of the boys. Just one of the boys. Just a tomboy. Yeah, I guess what's kind of difficult about this sort of stuff is that, kind of similar to the way that people get drawn into like white nationalism type stuff where it's when there are a whole bunch of loud voices about particular things, those are the ones that people wind up hearing. And in this case, if somebody's like, yeah, I really just don't know how to like meet girls or talk to women or any of that sort of stuff.

What I think actually enables somebody the best to meet other people and have normal conversations and get along with people and that sort of stuff is exactly what you're talking about Theo, which is just treat other people like humans and normal people and just talk to them without artifice and without you trying to get something out of them. And if there is some natural attraction there, that will emerge and be obvious to you and hopefully one of you will be brave enough to act on it. Just try to make...I'm gonna say try to make one female friend first. But those tho one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one those those those th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho tho tho tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, first, but those two things, both of those things.

But, but yeah, in turn, the problem is that what we're talking about there is essentially an absence of a very, like a different way to approach women. It's just saying just treat people normally, just treat people like you would treat anyone. Whereas there isn't really a way to package and sell th. solution to someone who thinks that they have a very specific problem about talking to and communicating with the opposite sex. So when they do go looking for, I don't know how to talk to or get a date or interact with. You're going to come up with the worst Google results. Yeah, instead you come up with all of the stuff that has been very specifically crafted to answer those questions and unfortunately it is the worst shit on the planet. And then you become this guy and this is the exact guy who is online saying that a woman once yelled at him for holding the door open when really she was like, why are you being so fucking weird about this? I was being a gentleman and she didn't even say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say thu. thu. th. thu. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. to thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the th. th. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the. the the. the. the. the. the the. the. the the thi. thi. the to to she was like why are you being so fucking weird about this? I was being a gentleman and she didn't even say thank you he says

referring to the woman who's like trying to to brush off her skinned knees out the front of the theater and now a hole in her dress like 2000 posts later in the modern chivalry forum they've raised $3,500 for this guy in a go fund me. We're gonna get you that shin extension search king. Oh Jesus. Well that's it for us folks. Don't forget to write a letter in to opposition, deputy opposition leader Christine Kennelli and say, hey, uh, please stop doing that. Just cut it out. Please, entirely. Just quit it. Just be normal. Just say normal things. It's normal and nice, come on. And of course, if you would like an extra episode of the podcast every week, you can head over to

Patreon.com slash Buntavista. And sign up, get yourself an extra hour of this jazz. You can also join the Buntavista Discord and chat with like like microwaving fish in the office if you have some sort of psychotic criminal. Ah, the microwave fish section of the discord. Yes. A frequent reader. That's it. You can also if you want to if you want to drop us a line you can write into mailbag at Punta Vista.com if you got a question for the show a comment little story you'd like to tell. Bit of feedback, bit of encouragement. We love it all frankly. And if you would like to leave a message that we may well play on

the show and answer your question your comment your story or whatever. Australian listeners can ring in on 1 8003175 and American listeners can call in on 732876346. And with that, that'll do us for the week. Ben, do you have any parting thoughts for the good people of Australia entering the hot month of summer? Oh, yeah, make sure to pre-batch yourself some treats in the fridge. You know, sometimes it's hard to think ahead, but you can make up a big thing of ice tea, a big thing of ice coffee, you can make those at home, just chuck them in a big, big jug with some ice cubes in the fridge. And then you'll be like, fuck, it's hot. Oh,

that thing that I did earlier. It's paying off in spades. Hmm, keep your ice cubes stocked, you know? Oh, make sure that tray is full. Don't be a dickhead. If you take like a chunk of them out, just fill it up. It's not hard. This is for you and the people around you. Wife of the show, my wife, Eleanor, got me just like a little $2 treat from the shops, a little silicone tray for making great big ice cubes. Oh those big cubes, I love those big cubes. Absolute treat, great for an ice coffee.

Great for a big ice cube in there, also good. Keep your ice situation under check, you know? Keep it under check. Yep, so that's our hot weather advice to you and we'll see you next week. How the fuck are we gonna get down from this Ferris wheel. I'm just I'm th, keep, keep, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thu, threat, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, great, great, great, great, great, great, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, tree, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thre, thre, thre, thre, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, tree, tree advice to you, and we'll see you next week. How the fuck are we going to get down from this Ferris wheel? Hey, I'm just enjoying hanging out with you guys. Kind of have a little sneeze. It seems like people down there are starting to get violent and I'm a little concerned.

But we're safe up here. It seems like the power has gone out everywhere. We're safe up here until we get hungry enough and we need to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat the to eat to eat to eat the smallest weakest person. That is definitely who I would choose to eat in a survival situation. He definitely wouldn't choose say the person who has the highest body fat percentage and arguably the least skills so no one look at me. Well see next week folks when we may or may not be down one host and with great big full bellies. Bye everybody.

Bye. Bye. Bye. you know the tp. the tree.