Boonta Vista - EPISODE 128: Where There's Smoke

Episode Date: December 10, 2019

Andrew, Theo and Lucy discuss the bushfires and the government's reaction to them. Also, we learn about "satire" with noodly dipshit Rowan Dean and regrettable Christmas party costumes with Brigid Delaney.

Hey, welcome to Bunton Vista episode 128. I'm Andrew and I'm like waving my arms around in front of me, stumbling forward because I cannot see where I'm going due to this thick, thick smoke. It's hurting my eyes. I can't see 10 feet in front of me. I'm just stumbling around, calling out, Lucy, Lucy. We laugh, folks, but this is a serious business, Andrew. You're Japin, you're Jack and Apen over here. It's terrible stuff going on.

Is that you scolding me from the mist? Andrew is always jacking an ape and isn't it? Sure is. Jacking it as an ape would, yes. That's right. Hello, I'm here. It is me, scolding. Someone's got to do it. It's a tough job. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, madam. May I have another. And now the two of us are holding hands but in a way that indicates that we're married to other people and looking around through the smoke I hear I hear the sound of small lungs coughing is that Theo? Okay so first of all my small lungs were already coughing before the before the smoke. There's just one our breathing sounds like. Sometimes oxygen is the smoke. It's just one that breathing sounds like.

Sometimes oxygen is too harsh. All right. I don't expect you to understand. But second of all, this sucks real bad. And this is bad enough to make me feel sorry for the Sydney side as the worst people on earth. That's true although I will say to you that I live in Canberra and like my kids have to be kept inside at school all day for the last like week or so and I say to Sydney take your smoke back stop sending it down here. Not that it's even Sydney's smoke really it's It's just, say, the whole eastern seaboard of Australia?

Pretty much. It's super normal. Everything's good. You guys getting anything up in Brisbane? Yeah. We only, a little bits and pieces. It's not as bad here, but we've certainly had days where it's been smoky, um, where it's been in Sydney and Wollongong and all down the coast there

Just just normal smoky where you're just reminded that that's the place that you live that is on fire Yep, whereas in Sydney, I believe the the like level of hazardousness to the air that is a word something like 11 times the like level of hazardousness to the air, that is a word, something like 11 times the safe level. Yeah and then you add the smoke on top of that. Come on, come on now. It's uh, but yeah, it's fucked up. It's no good. It's not a jack-inaping subject subject to be fair because like I'm I am

experiencing what is a pretty mild version of it which is that I get up in the morning and look out my window and I'm like oh I can't really see the houses two blocks away and it smells like smoke both in and out of my house and I Foolishly like cycled to work last week because I got up and I got ready to go and everything but all the curtains were closed And so it was like the time I had to leave and then I finally like pulled back the curtains and went ooh And it was not great and then I said well, I'm an idiot so I'm going to ride to work anyway. And I rode to work, gasping all the way, and then for the next couple of days I just felt like I had heartburn for like a couple of days straight.

Oh God. I was like, man, everything I eat is giving me worse heartburn than normal. And then at a point I was like, wait a minute. Heartburn is when your stomach acid thiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, I'm th. I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. thi, that that that that that that that that that theeat theat theat thr-n. I was that thi. I was that thi. I was point I was like, wait a minute, heartburn is when your stomach acid just damages your esophagus? I guess I think. I guess I've just damaged my esophagus with riding for an hour or so and very hazardous smoke, like an idiot. But just for that sense of perspective, I live like, you know, a three or four hour drive away from the place where it's now like setting off smoke alarms inside office buildings. Oh God.

There is so much shit in the air. Which as far as like metaphors go. Yeah. It's up there. And surely, I mean, we're all taking this in the spirit of seriousness that such a horrible kind of disaster would require, right? Well, you'd think it would propel some sort of action, some kind of state of emergency, if you will. You would think that. We'd all think that, with our big brains rattling around in our skulls. We would kick them into gear and we'd say, what is an appropriate response to this? So luckily, you know, we have a bold, decisive leader in the form of Scott Morrison, who loves to say things like, hey, let's get a round of prayers going for some rain, which you know, no offense to you if you're a big-time Jesus head, you know.

I think you can't be working a little bit. It's like, you know, that's fine. If that's you're not bothering anybody, that's fine, you know? It seems like we need that and and some other stuff. And maybe like a, I just, I don't think it's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi, I don't thi, I don't thi, I don't thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I don't thi, I don't thi, I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. I thi. I the the the the the the the thi. the the thi. thi. that's that's that's that, that's fine. You know? It seems like we need that and some other stuff. And maybe like a, I just, I don't think it's a policy, that's all. I'm just saying. Some things involving the mechanisms of state being used. I feel like, I feel like there's a lot of other, like, also quite fatal issues that we've already sort of decided the thoughts and prayers aren't really doing anything about. So it's weird to kind of say, well what if we try it on something like down a notch or two? But by the same

taken, where do you think rain comes from? The sky, the heavens, we'll get this. We're doing it. Who's up there? Huh? The big woman herself, God. I'm progressive. Cool. So Scott Morrison fucking sucks. So this is from the Guardian from a couple of weeks ago. Because these fires have been going on for a month now, basically. Scott Morrison has argued there is no direct link between Australia's greenhouse gas emissions and the severity of fires ravaging the continent, even suggesting Australia could increase its emissions without making the current fire season worse.

Well, that's cool. Cool, let's just do it again. Do it some more. Love science. I fucking love science.com or whatever the Facebook page is, you know. Under pressure, due to a record season of early bushfires and the accusation by a coalition of former fire chiefs that the government has avoided the issue of climate change, Morrison said on Thursday there was no, quote, credible scientific evidence that cutting Australia's emissions could reduce the severity of bushfires. Hmm. Just no credible scientific evidence that cutting Australia's emissions could reduce the severity of bushfires. Hmm, just no credible scientific evidence. Yeah, I think um, both, uh, both Greg Jericho and friend of the show, Katan and Joshi have, have both kind of

talking about this recently that there's this weird kind of, weird kind of, weird kind of break here in between people saying, hey, climate change is, you know, exacerbating and prolonging our bushfire seasons. It is making our climate hotter and drier, and this all leads to more fuel and more risk of fires, all that kind of thing. Maybe we should be trying to do something about our contributions to global warming, and that, and thi, to, to thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, theing thea, thi people thi, thea, the th people people saying, th people people people saying, th people people th people th people th people thing, thing, thi, thi, thi, thi people people people people thi, thi, thi, thi people thi people thi, thi, thi people thi people thi people thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to we should be trying to do something about our contributions to global warming, to climate change. But conservative politicians then take the sort of opposite side of like, well, you know, Australia is not doing all of the emissions in the world.

So even if we got rid of all of our emissions, that wouldn't get rid of all of the emissions in the world. What about India? They love to say what about India. What about China? They love their coal. And this of course seems to miss this crucial step in the middle which is like what if we reduced our emissions and we also worked with other countries to get them to reduce their emissions too??? their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their emissions, their, their emissions, their, their, their emissions, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what's, what's, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, their emissions, their emissions, their emissions, them to reduce their emissions too? It's almost like it requires some kind of collective effort. No I mean what we do is we can just dig it up all the coal that we've got there and then we can put that on a ship and send that to a different country and it's not an Australia anymore and that's not Australia's a ship and send that to a different country. It's not an Australia anymore.

It's not in Australia anymore. And we've made it, not Australian's problem. And that's certainly I think being the message that we've seen both from the government, but also from like Joel Fitzgibbon, who is the shadow minister for resources. And like, so just see him standing like shoulder to shoulder with Matt Canavan. Just chilling out with some cold buddies, getting some cold jobs going, like, you know, let's employ a thousand people doing doing this. And just at the most tone-deaf time as well, it just seems bizarre that that would, this would be the time that they go out on a big kind of meet and greed and campaign and that

sort of thing, but Joel Fitzgibbon certainly been on Twitter as well talking about me the exact line that you're talking as well, you know, to say, hey, we only produced 0.3% of the world's CO2 emissions, by which I assume that means that we actually burn that within our borders and release that carbon into the thing, kind of alighting the fact that we are 1.3% of the population, so we are doing our fair share. Doing our fair share, over representative by a factor of four and a bit, as well as all the stuff that we want to dig up and send elsewhere and making the point that, hey, if we're not going to dig it up, someone else will. It's like, no, that's not the way that works with a finite resource.

If there's only so much cold to go around, if you don't dig the stuff up that is under the ground, it doesn't get burnt. That's like, and this is a very difficult line to walk while half the country is on fire, but it's certainly a bipartisan line that the ALP seems to hell-bent on walking hand in hand with the coalition at the moment. Very weird stuff, and like you said, Greg Jericho online, has been, so from The Guardian, has been very much jumping on this and it's being like, hey, what the fuck are you talking about? But it doesn't really seem to be getting the pushback from other journalists in the mainstream media. And I think a lot of people are very, a bit despondent about the lack of questioning that's going on at this time of our politicians. Like now's the time to ask those sharp questions.

Like, hey, why are you saying these things right now? Like write this very fucking second while we are in the situation that we're in, but it doesn't seem to be happening. Well, yeah, Scott Morrison held two different press conferences in a row today where he did not get asked by a journalist about the bushfire. Yeah, this is the shit we're talking about. Weak is pissed. So this is from today. The Prime Minister who's rejected calls for more help for firefighters as the New South Wales bushfire crisis is expected to worsen. There were 85 fires burning across

New South Wales on Tuesday and 42 were uncontrolled. Oh my god that's terrifying. With predictions of temperature surpassing 40 degrees Celsius and a wind change for the afternoon firefighters, firefighters expected conditions to deteriorate. Hey did we all catch that video of the fire tornado? Did not see a fire tornado? I don't need... I don't think I wish to see it. No, I don't need fire tornado in my life. I understand that there is a fire tornado somewhere. That's not my problem. That's very upsetting to me, but it's my problem to deal with the fire tornado in the abstract, the abstract, in the abstract, in the abstract, the abstract, the abstract, the abstract, the abstract, the abstract, the abstract, the abstract, the abstract, tha, tha, thora, thora, thora, thora, thoro, thoro, to to to to too, to to to to to to to to to to to to too, too, too, too, too, too, too, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to, to to to to to to to toea, toea, toea, toea, too, too, too, too, too, thorno, the the tornadoe, the the tornadoe, the tornadoe, the tornadoe, tornado, too, too, too, too, too,'s very upsetting to me, but it's also not my problem to deal with. I feel like I can deal with the fire tornado in the abstract, not in the specific. Okay.

So as smoke bought the city's air quality to more than 11 times the hazardous level, Scott Morrison spoke in Sydney about the religious discrimination bill. That's right, that very important thing we all need to talk about. Well, the fucked thing about this as well is that the entire reason that the religious discrimination bill seemed to get kicked off was because, as has been discussed on this show multiple times, Israel Falow, fundamentalist Christian rugby union player, got fired by Rugby Australia for all of his inflammatory posts saying, hey, if you are gay or trans or foreign or Muslim or whatever you're going to hell.

And like they just settled, they just settled out of court, apologized to each other and said, oh, our collective bad. It's also, it's, apologized to each other and said, oh our collective bad. It's also fun to note that he is of the opinion that the bushfires are raging because of the gays. Yes we have strayed from God's light. Which is weird because it's never for the reasons that kind of work against them. It's never like this is our punishment for electing their to never for the reasons that kind of work against them. It's never like this is our punishment for electing Scott Morrison. For example, this is our punishment for you know abandoning our future generations through our selflessness and greed.

No, this is the thing that I don't like. So yeah, they settled out of court, leading us all to ask, so do we even need that whole religious discrimination bill thing if apparently these people were able to resolve it with the laws they have available. But no, that's what he's out there getting on about. Quote, these fires have been going on for some months now, and when I was speaking with the mefire on the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thr-a, the, the, thr-a, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. So, thi, th. So, th. So, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. We's theat, thr-a, thr-a. thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean thean, theat th speaking with the commissioner on the weekend now where we have the mega fire at the moment we were talking through the crew rotations he said. Cool word to think about. Mega fire, I hope that doesn't bump into the firenado.

Hmm. Hmm. He rejected suggestions that volunteer firefighters who reportedly make up the largest volunteer firefighting force in the world should be professionalized. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the moment.. the the the the moment. the the the the moment. the the the moment. the the the m. th. We th. We are to to to to to to th. Wea reportedly make up the largest volunteer firefighting force in the world should be professionalized. Quote, the volunteer effort is part of a, is a big part of our natural disaster response and it is a big part of how Australia has always dealt with these issues. Because if there's one thing that conservatives love insisting on, it's that if a thing was one way in the past, it's that that is how that thing still is and how it will remain forever. Status quo, baby.

I can't think about a new thing. We already have so many things. Please do not introduce another. We've already got fires, buddy. Now, I'm going to need, I'm going to need Lucy to help me out here. So he's responded to a question and I would like you to help read this quote for us so that we can collectively attempt to interpret what we're hearing. I've tried to pass this in my head. I just can't. Let's see if we can do it out loud. Asked about concerns about the time the volunteer firefighters are being asked to continue volunteering without pay, which apparently like a lot of them are doing the the the the equivalent the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be.. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. the. Hea. Hea. the. Hea. the. their. Hea. their. their. their. their their the. th pay, which apparently like a lot of them are doing the equivalent of full-time hours, while also still having jobs. And there were reports that are crowdsourcing water, funds, food. The Prime Minister Scott Morrison rejected the suggestion that the federal government could

do more. Speaking in Sydney a few minutes ago, Morrison said, No, I don't share that view because I know what the practice is and I know what the experience is and I know what's happening on the ground. And I know that whether it's the ADF or any other agency of the Commonwealth, all of those agencies, our efforts have been channeled and coordinated into the response of the state and territory staff on the ground. That is what is set up. That is what was intended to be set up and that is operating and I am pleased with the way those arrangements are being

worked out. And if there is any other matter that would need to be addressed, it would be raised with the Commonwealth because there is any other matter that would need to be addressed, it would be raised with the Commonwealth, because there is a direct line to make sure that happens. Hmm. He knows what the practice is. He knows what the experience is. He knows what's happening on the crowns. Well, that's what's intended to be set up. Well, it's been channeled and coordinated into a response. We've raised it.

It's been set up and it's been intended to be set up. And this is in line with what the experience is and what is happening. So no? I think is the answer there. I think no is probably the short answer of it, yeah. Could it just be one word? No? No. God he's just so incompetent. It's almost, it's hard to read these things. I didn't watch the video. It's difficult to like watch him in action because he's deeply should not be in this job for so many reasons.

This is a man that should not be Prime Minister. Like Tony Abbott before him, maybe even Malcolm Turnbull too. It's really hard not to get the sense from the string of Liberal Party leaders that have been in most recently. It's really hard not to get the impression that they are not all like the dog that caught the car. They all seem like men who have been primarily driven by ambition to hold power and to be the leader of both the political party and the country.

And then they've got in there and it seems as though the entire thing has just been about being a small target, minimizing the things that you are being asked to do, the things that you are promising that you're going to do, refusing to offer any kind of detail or forethought on any sort of policy, to have any kind of vision for where the country is is is th country is the country is th cccca cca the country is tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to to the country to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to offer any kind of detail or forethought on any sort of policy, to have any kind of vision for where the country's going. But I feel like that even making yourself a small target, like the small target thing here, right, would be to say yes, we are going to, you know, funnel some of the tax cuts that we've made historically into a, you know, just make it up. It doesn't matter, right?

But into a federal firefighting fund, let alone like nationalizing the firefighting effort or whatever, right? But there's a particular kind of depressing when the people who hold the reins of power are the people who believe that the mechanisms of power should not actually be used to help anybody, right? Like the goal of government is basically to do nothing, is to be there to make sure that the government doesn't actually do anything so that private enterprise can flourish, right? And this is, when you're staring down the barrel of something that's very difficult

to base around a profit motive, right, it's very difficult to sell as something that, you know, we can make into like an agile workspace or some fucking bullshit, right? They're just totally lost with the concept that, hey, maybe the government itself has to do a thing. Maybe the government has to exist for a reason the reason the reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason reason th th th th th th th th're just totally lost with the concept that, hey, maybe the government itself has to do a thing. Maybe the government has to exist for a reason, and that reason is to properly fund and staff the firefighters who are braver than the cops by a million times, they do better work than just about anybody else out there who are not getting paid for the, you know, for doing, for saving lives.

Maybe that's something that is worthwhile, even just making an exception for. And the other thing that's sort of come out of reading the kind of collective vision of the government is that this is a thing where they can, they don't even need to loop in climate change, right? It's clear as well that they are snooked as far as, oh shit, okay, we are actually super fucked here. Like, let's not say it too loudly, but there seems to be some absolutely crazy shit going on. maybe maybe we shouldn't have spent

the last you know however many years denying the effects of climate change on all this stuff right but they don't even need to acknowledge this they just have to say whoa there's some you guys seen that fucking mega fire out there yeah yeah we're gonna like we're gonna put some resources into it and like like really do what we need to do to you you know, save people's lives and get out there and sort of without even mentioning the words climate change at all, but they seem incapable of doing that. Like, they've, they're so ideologically blinked to not even being able to react the smallest bit about this, less they present, they present, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, you, you, you, you know, you, you, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to, th, th, the, th, th, they, they, the, they, they're, they're, they're, they're the being able to react the smallest bit about this, less they present any kind of target on themselves in regards to like their prior inaction on climate change.

It just seems bizarre to me. Like, they have ways out that are compromises and they don't take them. Yep pretty much it's um yeah they've just they've just spent so long just saying hey to do anything about this in any form would be a massive failure and capitulation in huge waste of money so you know now they're in a position of maybe something should happen and it's nope nope. So very cool. very cool. they're that they're the that that they're that. they're just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're just just just just just just just just just they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they're just just just just just just they're they they they they they they they they're just they're just they're just they're just just just they're just just just just just they're just just just just they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're just they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're just they're they're just they're they're they're they're they're they're they're in a position of maybe something should happen, it's, nope, nope. So very cool, very cool that apparently this is our future. We're all going to die in climate change fires, mega fires, fire tornadoes.

And the other, the other major party in opposition is just like, yes, we agree with everything because we don't want to get wedged on this issue you know they lost a lot of votes in Queensland over the Adani Carmichael mine and the idea that a lot of jobs would be lost there because of it but this comes back to that classic issue they weren't going to vote for you anyway! so it's very strange to complete this comes back to that classic issue. They weren't going to vote for you anyway. So it's very strange to completely cripple yourself politically in order to please people that if you say, Ah, well, we'll give you the same thing as the liberals. They're like, oh, the same as the liberals, I'll just wait for the liberals.

All very cool. Speaking of rambling incoherence, when asked for a response to something, it's been quite a while since we've checked in with the residents spaghetti-headed fuck Rowan Ding. It's been quite a while. Now we've talked about him in the past. We've talked about his strange rantings about climate change on his Sky News Show. We've sort of looked in on some of his writing in the the the the the to the the the to the the the the to the the the the the the to response the to response their response their response their response to response to response to to response to response to to response to response to to to to response to to a response to a response to a response response to a response response response to a response response response to a response response response to response response to to to to response response response response response response response response response response response response response response response to to to to response response response response to to to response to response to to to response to to to to response to their their response their response their their response theirantings about climate change on his Sky News Show. We've sort of looked in on some of his writing in the past. Now, what's difficult to accept here is that Rowan Dean considers himself a satirist.

He really does. Like he believes himself a man shining a light, big old light, into the dark kind of corners of lefty lunacy and just really ferreting it out. He thinks he's on some real Jonathan Swift type shit, thinks he's operating on some incredible levels. I, however, am not actually convinced that he knows what satire is. No, I think he... He think satire is saying the things that he doesn't like but kind of in a bit of a silly voice, so that everyone that already agrees with you agrees with you? And then just saying that someone is trans?

Yeah. And then if you don't like it, you're triggered. You're actually the one that's mad and nude. Not me. Can't argue with it. He's got a good strategy there. Can't at all. You fell for the joke, the joke being the thing that he is also constantly saying in a serious voice. Uh-huh. Yeah, uh, you think I'm a huge dumb ass? Uh-huh. Well, it's actually you that is the huge dumb ass and you have befooled yourself for thinking I'm a dumb ass in the first place. And then it just goes on for, you know, several news cycles.

Yeah. So he's written a piece in what is theoretically a newspaper, uh, the Australian Financial Review. Now that's satire. Thank you. When you say a thing and you don't mean it, that's satire baby. So can I just say, if we're talking about quality of writing and why, you know, Rowan Dean should be taken, taken seriously as a writer in the same way that we would, you know,an Dean should be taken taken seriously as a as a writer in the same way that we would you know suck up to a leftist writer because they're you know an SJW and we're not woke enough if we if we don't like

them or whatever the fuck he believes let's just go over this headline real quick. What did he say wrong? Why Rowan didn't get a Walkley? What did he say wrong? It's just... That's what Walkleys are for, therefore we say something right. But straight out of the, straight out of the gate with just like an incredibly clumsy piece of writing that is also, let's note, in the third person, even though he wrote it himself. Mm-hmm. Just a very, very odd way to open this. But then he goes and lists a whole bunch of stuff that he says wrong. And Andrew, would you like me to dive into this? Go for it.

Uh-huh. Because I'm excited. I think everyone really, it's good to get out of your little bubble and experience. You know, some real incisiveness, challenge a few of your preconceptions. I hate my bubble. I'd hate it if someoneceptions. I hate my bubble. I'm stuck in my bubble. But I'd hate it if someone was to burst my bubble with some tough love and words.

I would hate that. I don't want it. Was it something I said? Yesterday I eagerly scanned the winners list from the prestigious Walkley Awards for excellence in journalism, held on Thursday night, convinced that it had been an administrative oversight, or simple human error that explained why I hadn't been invited to attend the glittering award ceremony with a reserved seat at one of the front tables, and we'll get back to that, I think it's safe to say. We will revisit that first paragraph. In all likelihood,

some pill-popping millennial Sheila with rainbow-colored hair and various shards of metal inserted into her tattooed, lumpy flesh, working part-time sending out the invitations on behalf of the Walkley Committee so she could score an extra few brownie points from non-binary trued to Raylene Zia, Sydney University, gender-queer politics in the age of Trumpian neo-imperialist journalism studies degree had stupidly put my nominees' invitation into the wrong envelope and sent it to one of her two spirit pals in Maricville because she was too off her face from consuming copious amounts of crystal meth glued to a top of a taxi at the we're all doomed in 12

years if we keep on mining coal extinction rebellion rally over the weekend. These things happen. It's worth pointing out that's two sentences. These things happen is one sentence. Really impressed that you got through all those. Thank you. That's the professionalism we've come to expect on this show. Can we touch on a few of these please very quickly. I looked up consuming th up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up the the th. the c. th. th. th. the c. th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. th. their th. th. their th. their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. th. the. th. th. the the. the the the the. their their their their their their the on this show. Can we toucest on a few of these please very quickly. I looked up consuming copious amounts of crystal meth glued to the top of a taxi at we're all doomed in 12 years time if we keep on mine and call it extinction rally. To see if it was a reference to something. It's not. I don't know why the crystal meth is glued to the top of the taxi. I don't know why that is satire, but it's satire. Okay. Also, just a very lazy assemblage of like terrible stereotypes, it's just, like,

I don't think he understands just how lazy of a man he is. Again. Just a bore. Again, this really thi-strike, thi. Again, this really strikes me. It's just, thi. thi. But, but, but, but, but, th. But, th. But, th. But, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that, that, that, that, but that's that's that's that's the sa sa saut. But, but it's that's that's their, but it's, but it's that's their. But, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's their, just how lazy of a man he is. Again. Just a bore. Again this really strikes me as um like he thinks satire or comedy is literally just saying all the kinds of people that he hates that discussed him. But it's in the paper. Oh so okay that's what makes a satire. If it's satire though that's not it's not being hateful it's just, it's just, it's just, it's th- it's the the the the the the the the the th. it's th. it's the th. th. It's the th. It's th. It's the th. It's the the the the the the the the thi thi. the thi. the thi. Just a bore the the the bo boar- just th. Just a bore th. Just a bore th. Just a bore th. Just a bore th. Just th. Just a bore just th. th. th. Just a bore th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. the. the. the. th.'s in the paper. Oh so okay that's what makes satire though that's not it's not being hateful it's just it's when it's in the paper. So you can imagine my horror discovering after carefully pouring over the entire Walkley's list more than a dozen times that no it wasn't my imagination but by some inexplicable and grossly unjust voting process

at yet again being completely overlooked. I don't want to spoil the whole thing, but it is entirely explicable. Again, we'll get to that. Clearly, I thought to myself, I must be doing something wrong. But what? After all, I regularly comment or write about the hot-button issues that yet again have dominated this year's war lease, climate change, asylum seagre diversity, inclusion, federal federal federal federal federal federal federal federal federal federal federal federal federal federal federal federal federal, federal, federal, federal, federal, federal, federal, federal, federal, federal, diversity, inclusion, federal politics, indigenous affairs, you name it, I've had a crack at it. Well, I mean, that's true. You have had a crack at it. I've had a crack at it. Thanks for your input.

Thanks for your input. Take climate change. Every single week for the past two years on television, I have devoted an entire 15 minutes of Sky News top rating Sunday morning show Outsiders to exploring the vexed and incredibly complex topic of the science of our planet's climate. I look at the weather patterns, sorry Angie? I believe these are the ones where he says like, ah but it's snowing in London? Well more like global cooling. Uh huh? Well I cover the latest the series and I give up to the minute reports on the empirical evidence from around the planet and even the data from outer space that points to a worrying conclusion that viewers may need to be aware of, namely that thanks

to low solar activity as reported by NASA, they love it, as reported by NASA. This is NASA's own data guys. Never mind that I've drawn conclusions that are totally opposite the to the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the totally opposite totally opposite totally opposite totally opposite total total total total evidence thoicicicicicicical evidence thoicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicic. th. th. thiiiiiia. the. the. the. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the. theaa. thea. mind that I've drawn conclusions that are totally opposite to what actual climate scientists have drawn. This data is from NASA, so you can't fight my conclusions. Anyway, as reported by NASA, the planet may well be in the grips of global cooling. Yep. So I even accurately call my investigative segment Ice Age Watch, yet no walkly for me. What on earth am I doing wrong? Wait can you just go back one sentence that?

Please. I call my, I call my segment. Accurately, sorry. What it was. He accurately causes investigative segment Ice Age Watch. So just for fun I scrolled to the bottom of the article and immediately found a link on the same site about how climate change is causing larger bushfires which is increasing our carbon footprint which is causing larger footprint, you know, you don't, you don't even have to scroll off of the page.

Also, what the fuck is with papers at war with themselves, right? That like, they're able to publish this sort of shit, and yet, like, disagree with it on a different thing? There's only one truth. It's very, very strange. But I won't slow it down too much. Take gender fluidity. Over the last few years in my spare time I've devoted myself to investigating the gender choices of typical Australians in the pubs, RSL's bowling club, supermarkets, boatyards, garden centers, beaches, parks, in the middle of everyday Australians in their natural

habitat and this amazing headline grabbing scoop to share with readers, namely that in most corners of this wide brown land I discovered to my astonishment that the 101 gender identities. Again there's just... Classic. It's the one joke. It's the one joke. You remember someone someone posted online there was a drop down and you could like choose from a whole bunch of genders and then they took that number of genders and it was like 37 or what have you and they published it and then now it's liberals have 422 different genders instead of you know what it actually is is that gender is just a made-up thing that you can just say whatever you can just say whatever you like because

it's a thing that we men don't have to wear suits it's not a whole thing we just made it up we just made it but sorry I'm gonna sound a little stupid here because to his astonishment, a staggering 99.999% and he's got it approximately in brackets there, right? So you can tell, he's having fun with it, but he also hasn't done any real research. Of so-called average at Ozzie's have settled on only two, male and female. That's it, yet no Walkley for me. Uh-huh. So take

indigenous affairs through a lengthy investee of report into the lifestyle and custom stone-aged people from around the world via the in-depth resource of Wikipedia. So he's not even going to the point of like clicking on a second link from Wikipedia and claiming that's his source. He's not even going to the point of like clicking on a second link from Wikipedia and claiming that's his source. He's just sourcing Wikipedia, which is, you know, an instant foul if you're putting this on in in uni, made a fascinating discovery which I believe to be in critical importance for today's younger idealistic generations to be informed of, namely that prior to the arrival of such seemingly petty and insignificant items as electricity, education, telecommunications, medicine, technology, the rule of law, democracy and so on, rather than living in an idealized Kumbaya style existence of peace, love and harmony, life

and pre-colonial times was mired in violence, sexual abuse, disease, and starvation, unbelievable and frightening stuff, yet still no walkly for me. I feel like there's almost too much to get into there. Just genuinely turning this thing, which I guess was originally supposed to be a joke about, why didn't I get a walkly and it's literally just turned into a laundry list. It's literally just a laundry list of who can I just rattle off my bigotry against throughout this thing. It's almost as if that's what it is, since you.

I'm sure there's probably more to it that we're missing because we're just dumb liberals in our liberal bubble, but, you know, take contemporary political events such as the recent federal election. as it's been well documented, a single journalist, Pulser or commentator at the ABC, the Guardian, the Sydney Morning Herald or the Australian, accurately predicted the result. Yet there I was, slaving why every Monday night for nine months on the Paul Murray Live show vehemently predicting for the benefit of viewers that Scott Morrison would win. So just by chance, like the thing thing ideology his ideology like lined up with came true and not from any like data or anything that he possesses just because that's what happens with a broken clock

twice a day. So he gave his detailed analysis of why including Bill Shorten was a dope and Chris Bowen a buffoon. Yep that's not not analysis. This of course me being, followed of course me being including Bill Shorten was a dope and Chris Bowen a buffoon. Yep, that's not not analysis. This, of course, me being, followed of course, me being virtually alone, predicting Donald Trump's victory and the Brexit vote, yet still no Walkley for me ever. I just don't get it. Little reply from the Walkley's foundation here, possibly a little elucidating. Hi, Rowan, thanks for the shout and your financial review column on Saturday.

One thing you missed in your research is that the Walkley Awards are self-nominated. Since you didn't enter, the judges couldn't consider your work. Such a fucking loser. I just... So embarrassing. I feel like he acts like he's joking about this, but there is definitely a part of him that is generally., that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's thi.. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, the the to, to, to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th th the. th th th th the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th th but there is definitely a part of him that is genuinely annoyed that he's not nominated for a walk. Yeah, like he believes that his writing is genuinely worth awarding. It's clever. Like I just, I find this whole thing simultaneously confusing and confused. I find it to be, you know, like, I just, I just, I, I just, I, I find this whole thing simultaneously confusing and confused.

I find it to be, you know, like he's complaining about not getting a walk-ly, but it's also obviously, you know, just meant to be a snide dig at what he sees as, you know, the clicky, insiders media to his outsiders thing. But at the same time, he's also clearly attempting to say, oh, why didn't I get a walkie? It's because I said all of these things that are outside the mainstream.

I said these things that you're not supposed to say, like, all this gender stuff is bullshit. All this made up stuff that is not really to be any facts. All these fucking, like, yeah, he's rattling off these things. Gender stuff, indigenous stuff, climate change stuff, all of the, you know, what he sees is the pet causes of the culture wars and the left wing and everything despite him spending every fucking waking moment talking about it. But, like, in trying to sort of put forward the idea that, oh, you know, I talk about this stuff that I'm not supposed to talk about or that it's unpalatable to other people, he literally just turns it into, here is an actual laundry list of my prejudices.

It is just him saying, like, feminists who haven't made themselves attractive to be pleasing to my eye are disgusting to me, that like he's talking about their lumpy skin, their lumpy flesh. Non-binary people are gross and confusing to him. Indigenous people are savages who are saved by colonial, fucking. It's really just a disgusting person. Yeah, and like he's, he somehow manages to get from this shit to climate change to, indigenous people should be thanking us for colonizing them. So maybe we fucking get this one into it. We save them with our medicine and murder.

You can just say anything in Australia. You can say anything you like. It's my point though, is that like, I talked about this online when this article came out, and I just said, it just, it just staggers me. It staggers me that this is a thing that a seemingly serious newspaper would publish. The Australian Financial Review and you know, I said, this is like, is it a joke? Does he think it's funny or whatever? It's literally just his prejudice is laid

out on this thing. And managing editor of the Sydney Morning Herald Ben Cubby replied to me and said, that's kind of his schtick. Oh God. And I was like, when a colonist who stuff you're printing, when their schtick is, check out my racism. It's like if your company employed Buffalo Bill, and you got online and were like, hey, you don't want to really be throwing stones here or anything like that, but what's the whole deal with him keeping women in a well under his house? What's the... It's just his thing? Could he just... They don't have to put the lotion. th to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to the to to the to the to to the the th racism racism thicism, thicism, thicism, thicism, thicism, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thism, thism, thism, thism, thism, thism, thism, thism, thism, thism, thism, thism, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi to to thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, women in a well under his house? What's the... It's just his thing.

They don't have to put the lotion on their skin. He's just, he's doing a bit. He's doing a bit. And like, I guess my point with this is very simply, two things, number one, just saying the thing that you actually think isn't satire. Just saying... just saying the thing that you actually think isn't satire, just saying, because it's also self-congratulatory and backpatting about, hey everything that I say about climate change is real and true and you know, and that oh I'm brave enough to say

that fucking indigenous people deserved whatever they got from us and also all this gender stuff is bullshit. These are all things he believes. Even if he's sort of attempting to write it in some kind of vaguely funny way, this is just stuff he believes. It's just cataloging his bigotry and putting it in a fucking newspaper. And like, it's just incomprehensible to me that the editor of a major newspaper would say, oh, that's just, that's th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their all, their all, thi, thin, thi, thin, thin, th-a, and th-a, and th-a, and he's all, and, and, and, and he's all, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thin, and thin, and thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, and th incomprehensible to me that the editor of a major newspaper would say,

oh, that's just like his schtick. He winds people up and they get mad about it and they get some clicks and blah, blah, blah. The idea that that's just acceptable as a business model? Extremely cool. I will just say one thing, andthat is the walkies are for journalists. Hmm. Yep. So, that's not what he is.

No, not in any sense whatsoever. Like if you were judging a contest for the shiniest hippo or what have you, right? You would need to be hippo in the first place. He's, he's not anything except a man that just writes his opinion and then it gets printed out on the page. There's nothing, that does not make you a journalist, right? And funnily enough, he points it out over and over in the article where he's like, oh well I just went down to the pub and asked some people, and they said, oh, no, there's a man and a woman. So, you know, that's it.

Right, that's not, that's not journalism. There's nothing journalistic about that. And he may revel in this, right? And enjoy that kind of tag, but it doesn't make him any less of a dumb ass. Not, not in the slightest. Just hugely stupid shit. Just a real piece of shit. Oh, absolute piece of shit.

And yeah, I just, like, perfectly emblematic of like all the things that are wrong with Australia's media class. Yes. That if you, just if you've been around for long enough, you can have a job, it doesn't matter if you're doing anything of any worth or value or whatever, if you're in with the right person you can stay there and that other figures from within media, if you talk about this will say, oh, well that's his deal. That's the thing. It's this guy's deal's the the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. the whole th. thi. thi. thi. the whole. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's the the the the the thi. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the thee. I's the the. I's the. I's thi. I's thi. It's thi. It's the. oh well that's his deal that's the thing it's this guy's deal so like I don't know it's it's the whole it's the whole sort of thing of like like

we often talk about with conservatives of oh you know very right-winged people of going my thing is that I'm going to deliberately say the worst shit I can think of to offend people and then when people say that's pretty offensive you go ha I got you you've been or as Ben pointed out when your reaction is hard that's weird yeah that's a strange thing to say very strange thing oh oh are you triggered is this this triggering you this is the other joke I know are you triggered? Is this triggering you? This is the other joke I know. Are you triggered? There's the triggering. Well, like, this article to me, um, this article to me is like a very, like borderline incomprehensible long form version of the

alt-right okay sign thing. Where- It's just a joke about something we truly believe. Oh we're going we're going to do this thing and convince people that doing this is a racist hand signal. We're going to like we're going to generate all of this writing and stuff that says this is a racist hand symbol and we're going to distribute that to people and we're going to gather a whole bunch of racists into the one spot and make sure everybody th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. their th. th. th. th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the they. th. they. they. th. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. they. they. they. they. they. th. they. th. they. to distribute that to people. We're going to gather a whole bunch of racists into the one spot and make sure everybody sees us all doing the... We're going to get people from Bright Bart and everything to do it, and then when people say, hey, I read this thing that that's actually a racist hand signal,

they go, ha! You believed I was doing something racist. I got you. When in fact, I was only was only was only was only was only was only was only th only tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thing that we made into a racist thing. So who's the fool now? Probably not me. Yeah, it was like this satire to me is functionally the same thing. To say, I'm going to write an article in which I gleefully go on about all of the minorities that discussed me on a personal level. And then when people say, this is fucked up.

Why are you printing that? It's like, got you. You think I'm a racist now and you're accusing me of being a racist. And also a climate change denier and also a sexist and a homophob and a homobe and a transphobe. And my hair looks like spaghetti. No one watches my show. Nobody watches this show. It's look, it's not about what you know, it's who you know. That's all I'm saying. Now I have a question. Hmm. Question for you Lucy. Oh no. When it comes to other writers that we've talked about in the past too,

we find pretty baffling, do you have something for us from another one of those? Are you hoping to hear this little treat that I have placed in the notes? I would love a treat. I would love a treat that is more benign than the one that I've just been forced to so. It's our favorite Bridget Delaney. He's sitting at your feet. He's pointing his head up at you. He just desperately wants to hear that Bridget Delaney story. He wants a treaty. Hands outstretched, cupped in front of me. Who are you to deny him?

People in the Discord. They want the treaty too. People love to her recent articles. I've just got a little excerpt because she has written an article about the Christmas party season, a comedic article about your work Christmas parties. I'll dive right in. It's Christmas party season and by now HR should have sent an all staff email warning you that it is a work function and an appropriate standard of conduct is expected. Much of the focus is rightly on sexual harassment and bullying,

but there are plenty of other ways to have your night and career ruined. As the veteran of 147 jobs, truly. Can we just pause on that? I'm just, I'm trying to do the math here. I don't think I've done 147 different things, let alone jobs.. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I've th. I've th. I've th, I've th, I've th I'm trying to do the math here. I don't think I've done 147 different things, let alone jobs. I probably get hired at a place and do three or four things before moving on. This just cannot be true. No. It cannot possibly be true anyways. She has cataloged the ways you can torpedo your career or at least have regrets the next day at the office Christmas party. So I've just got the first section from this article because it is quite a paragraph. So consider the future when you consider your costume. You can guess where this is going.

Uh-huh. Go on. Although on the outside you you seem carefree, inside you're highly anxious, refreshing Twitter, dreading the memories feature on Facebook. You're waiting to be called out. When are the photos going to resurface? Yes. The photos are from the 2011 office Christmas party. Things were different then. Standards were much looser when woke was a verb, not an adjective. Uh-huh. Go on. Is work? Never mind. Never mind. I guess it is a verb. Just confused on that word there. The theme of the Christmas

Party was addressed as a favorite news story. It seemed like fun at the time. You meant no harm. I mean look at the others in the photo, which you keep hidden in a secret file on your computer marked expenses. Your boss carrying around an enormous rock on his back is a trapped Chilean minor. Barry from HR is dressed as Pippermittleton's ass. Not Piper Middleton the person, just her ass. How do you narrow that down? I don't know what this costume could possibly be. If that costume is good enough to be specifically Pippermitton's ass without saying the words

Pippermidton on it, then hats off to that man. Hats off to you, sir. There's your colleague Amanda, wrapped in a blood-spattered sheet, Bin Laden's corpse. Yes. And you, you, I can't say what you wore, but your work wife is dressed as Boko Haram. This video of her running around the party trying to kidnap all the junior girls from the office. So she's writing this in the second person, but this is clearly... It's very specific.

Clearly a thing that has happened or an amalgam of things that have happened. And Bridget, I want the photos. I will keep them private. I will not publish them. We will not name our sources. DM one of us. We won't put them out. Yep, we will not name our sources. Please, whatever is going on here, I need you to tell me. I need you to give me this. So a jump into politics has now been ruled out. Looking at you, Justin Trudeau.

You can never be part of public life. Yep. You could deny it's you under the Balaclava I suppose. But when you have Christmas parties now you never ever wear a costume. Oh God I want to know what it was. It was a hundred percent black face. I like how she didn't actually specify any black face in there, but you know she's getting at it. You know what she said she blamed Justin Trudeau, so... Oh, that was me. That was purely my commentary. I'm sorry. I should have specified. I was really worried for a second. Lovely to hear from Bridget again. Always enjoyable. Poor Bridget. Um, so let me see here. I think we're going to have to to take a quick to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to blame. to blame. to blame to blame. to blame. to blame. the the the the the the their just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the trui. true. true. true. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to. tothink we're going to have to take a quick jump to the mail bag. Please. Before we run out of time. Because as regular

listeners of the show will know we have like bonus episodes that we put on a Patreon page. And a while ago we set a goal... like bonus episodes that we put on a Patreon page. And a while ago we set a goal, several years ago we set a goal, that if we hit this ridiculous Atlantis goal, we would get a tattoo of Waluji, the Nintendo character. We tempted fate and we shouldn't have done it. We flew too close to the sun, we hit that goal last month and so I kicked things off on the weekend by giving myself a tattoo of

while Luigi on my leg. Streaming it live to Twitch. TV slash Bontavista, which you can go and follow if you would like to see future very intelligent things like this. So that was cool. I got myself a pencil and some sewing needles. I went to Spotlight. Some sewing needles. Jesus Crust. Got some India ink. Got some India ink. I got some rubber gloves. I got some old spice stick deodorant. Why? Because when I was looking on YouTube for ghetto-ass ways of making a tattoo stencil at home a lot of the recommendations were around like, I don't know if you've seen the brand Speed Stick before. Speed Stick Dutorant. So, um. of the recommendations were around like, I don't know if you've seen the brand

Speedstick before? Speedstick deodorant. So the kind of greeny, translucent colored speedstick is the go. And you basically make like, you do your drawing on a bit of paper, and then you get another piece of paper underneath it and you shade a whole bunch of it in with pencil. And then you put the first drawing down over that one and you trace over it kind of hard. And that transfers a bunch of the carbon from the pencil to the underside of your thing. You flip the paper, draw over the sort of pencil outline part with pen, stick your speed stick on to the part of you that you have shaved, and then slap the picture down on there, and then when you lift it up a minute or two later, the ink has come off with it, leaving you with a tattoo stencil.

Should clarify, this is not an instructional podcast. Please don't do this. It can be, just don't do this. It can be. You can do it too. It can be. Just don't yell at us. Just remember to put the, you gotta put the lighter. You gotta get the lighter and sterilize your needles. Get yourself some ink and then just go to town. You know. How to go. Did it hurt? No, it's fine. It's fine. Just like getting lightly poked with the needles. Would it hurt me? I don't know what your pain threshold is like. Also... It's low. I'm gonna say it's low. To my knowledge you have not undergone any normal tattooing. No. Or abnormal tattooing. Any professional tattooing? How about that? Sure. Commercial grade. Whereas Lucy, you have received many tattoos in your day? I have received several. Yeah, and so when you're getting like a normal tattoo,

it's that they do the outlines and then they do like shading and if you get in color and stuff like that, I think you've got a bunch of color in yours, Lucy. And it means that like over the course of several hours they go back over the same areas, a whole bunch of th of th of th of th of of of of of of of of of of of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, thu thu thu thu the the the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I th. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I the th. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I that like over the course of several hours they go back over the same areas a whole bunch of times And by the time like if you are Sitting for like three or four hours or something. That's a long afternoon It starts getting a little old. It's just tiring. It's just tiring. It's strangely tiring. So it wasn't like that and I think it like heals up faster than a professional touching. It's really coming around on this on this. It on this. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's the the time. It's the time. It's the time. It's the time. It's the time. It's the the the the the the the the times. It's times. It's times. It's times. It's times. It's times. It's times. It's times. It's times. It's the the the the the the the the the the the times. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's times. It's times. It's times. It's times. It's times. It's just the the times. It's just the times. It's just the times. It's just times. It's just just times. It's just times. It's just times. It's just times. It's just the times. It's the times. It's just tiring. It's strangely tiring. So it wasn't like that and I think it like heals up faster than a professional tattoo. I'm really coming around on this giving myself a tattoo idea. I'm not gonna do it. It's pretty fun. Not gonna

lie. So while I was doing it on the stream I did ask for people to phone in on the Bundavista hotline, people who were watching live, and say leave me a message about this. Here's one that we received. Let's check it out. "'Has I crest be shorn and shaven thou,' I said, asked Shawne and Craven, vastly grim and ancient raven, wandering from the nightly shore. Tell me what thy lordly neighbors on the nice Plotonian shore. Qu, cross the raven. Wham! Seems to be a while Luigi themed message.

That one tickled me. Coming through, right? Wham! That's what's on my leg. So, who's next? That's the real question. Um, I, I mean, it's me or it's Theo, and I think we know the answer to that question. It could be Ben?

Do you really want to be last, Theo? No, I feel like I could like buck expectations by being next, but I also have no idea how to do anything in that process. And I don't think we can go through it now, but maybe if you, if you know how to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th the thi thi the or it's the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the it's the it's the it's the it's the it's the the the the the th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the or it's the or it's the the or the or the or the or the or theoo theo to to theo too too too too too too to to to th in that process and I don't think we can go through it now but maybe if you if you know how to make that happen then email me Theo at Buntavista.com how to get tattoo. If you have a tattoo gun, go to Theo's house, you can work something out. Yep. Front doors normally unlocked. Come on in. I'm really thinking about buying a tattoo gun. I gotta be honest with you. Seems easier than the old stick and poke, that's for sure. Yeah, but at the time I was like, if I had a normal tattattoo gun would have been done by now, you know? So that's cool. Thank you everybody for your support, made that happen. We love to see it. Thank you. We're so excited to get Wailuji tattoos on our skin for life. We've actually already

hit the next patron goal after that which is to force Theo to upgrade his phone's data cap from two gigabytes of month. Every time that anybody discovered that I have two or had now, two gigabytes of data cap, they lose their minds. It's like... It's insane. I only just learned this. I could not believe it to be true. It's like the, they open the arc of the Covenant. And inside is, it is is is is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is their, is the, is the, is the, is the their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, It's like they open the arc of the covenant and inside is that picture of the Optus menu where it shows you how much data you have.

It just comes screaming out and like blows everybody's heads up. And for the record, I've been fine, okay. I have been absolutely a-okay with this. I download all my podcast before I leave. I don't watch any videos because that's just... I mean, it's beyond the power to watch a video on the bus. That's... there's only so much airwaves for the Wiggly's to go over. So I find myself just living a moral life, um, minding my own business and then people just

hassle me with their with their whipping words. So I paid $200 I think to break a contract for this. Because I'm true to my word we put it it up as a goal, and now I have 60 gigs a month. That's too much. It's too much. It's in the other direction. I've, like, now I'm going to have to live like a libertine, just nude and sweaty on the bus. Availing myself of every piece of media on the internet all at what's in an array, I'll buy six iPhones side by side and just hook all 60 gig into my brain simultaneously. Because I don't know what to do with that other, if you know how to use data, right?

Like, let me know. I've already said my email address. I'm not going to say it again. Tell me how to use data, right? Like, let me know. I've already said my email address. I'm not going to say it again. Tell me how to use data, because I don't know. I don't know how to live. Born. Again, I don't think the people on the bus will appreciate that, but. Well, first time for everything.

So that's it for us for this week folks. And again, thank you for our support. If you are interested in that sort of thing, you can head on over to Patreon.com slash Buntavista, five US dollars a month gets you an extra bonus episode every week. And you gotta love that. It's good value. If you, yeah, if you like the show maybe, like if you hate listen to the show every week, you probably don't want that. Yeah.

I don't think you more is gonna convince you. You put in your mouth guard, start grinding your teeth. And put that podcast on. Fucking hate these guys. But if you need twice as much content to get very willfully mad about, then maybe that, you know, there's a source for you. So you can head over there. Unfortunately, the next goal is that I will watch an entire Daisy Cousins live stream from YouTube and film myself watching it and suffering the entire time, because suffering is art. We love suffering. It's true. I actually don't. I hate it.

You'll come to love it. I didn't know that about you. Interesting to learn. If you want to write into the show mailbag at Buntavista.com if you would like to call in and leave a message for us to play on the show possibly respond to maybe just react with stun silence. Australian listeners can call in to the Board of Fist hotline on 1,8003175 US listeners you can call the Sepo hotline on 732876 3446 and that's it that's it for us thank you very much we you very much. We love you. We do love you. See you next week. Try and stay out of the tp.