Boonta Vista - EPISODE 131: Disaster Supremo With Cheese

Episode Date: January 13, 2020

A Disaster Czar will rise as the Australian Government's compensation scheme for volunteer firefighters is revealed. A cavalcade of stars help with our Bushfire Fundraiser and Kamikaze Dolphins are poised to strike. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hi, this is Gopsy, and I just want to say, I bought a bag of snakes alive and I opened them up, and they're all dead. As catastrophic bushfires continue to rage across southeastern Australia, as property continues to burn, human and animal lives continue to be lost, and the Prime Minister is under constant partisan attack for simply trying to do his job in a crisis. One of the lessons being learned in the flames is that nature doesn't give a rats about state borders, federal state responsibilities, and who does what at times like this. It doesn't need yet another royal commission to tell even the most bone-headed green that

effectively commanding future natural disasters on the scale we're now witnessing, be they fire, flood, cyclone, or any other natural cause, needs a strong, powerful leader in ultimate charge who can cut through the crap, crush political, jurisdictional, and professional jealousies and have overriding control of federal, state, and private resources for the common good of saving lives and property. A disaster supremo empowered by federal and state governments and ultimately accountable to them, able to put even prime ministers and premiers in their place in times of dire emergency. Such a person

would have the stature and force of personality needed to bash the most senior heads together when necessary. Squash industrial strength egos and bend them to the common will of Team Australia. Such a person would need to understand how policy and political decisions are made at the highest level and therefore know how to cut through red tape and petty politics to maximize the efforts of frontline responders and give immediate comfort and support to those communities and families who have lost everything. And they would need a first-hand understanding of what's involved in what Scott Morrison called, holding a hose, and has experienced the dangers and risks facing those willing

to lay down their lives to help their fellow Australians in die a peril without thought for their own safety. There is one person, just one person, who has the character, skills, and experience to fill such a wrong. Someone whose unique combination of frontline experience and dealing with disasters at the very highest level makes them absolutely qualified to be Australia's natural disaster Supremo. A person who ridiculed for his selfless community service by people who would never place their lives in jeopardy for others as he has and while still in his prime has been cast aside by so-called friends as well as his opponents, an underappreciated but perfectly qualified person who would answer the call with distinction

in such a role. Tony Tone! It's Tony Time, baby. It's Tony Time. It's Tony Time. It's Tony Time. Who uses the word Supremo at all, let alone multiple times? More than once. More than one instance. Hi, Tony, I was just wondering if you would like to be Supremo? Oh, yeah, like Il Hefe Suprema, you know, of disasters. We're looking for someone to rule us like dogs. Tony, could you rule us like dogs perhaps? I'd like to order a family-sized natural disaster supremo. Thank you. That was courtesy of our dear friend Terry Barnes at Race Science Journal, the spectator.

Here are some of his other... Tell me if you can see a theme in the names of some of these articles. Honoring Abbott. At least Abbott stands for something. Tony Abbott with thanks to the fallen warrior. Stuff the diversity warriors and say it loud, say it proud, Merry Christmas. Ah. Oh my goodness. I'm got to say, I have actually found myself saying to somebody at some point in the last couple of weeks, it was when we were watching the footage of Scott Morrison walking up to people and like grabbing their hand and forcing them to shake his hand and all that kind of stuff. I think some people even started to look and say,

surely at least Tony Abbott would have stood there and listened to a person before immediately turning around and walking away. I very much regret saying that to anybody because you really don't have to think back very far to remember just how absolutely like incomprehensibly in human Tony Aberde. Yeah, where someone would say something would say to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi thi their thi thi thi thi thi their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their some their some people thi their some people their some people th so their some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some to say some some some some to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to Yeah, where someone would say something to him and he would just just son out like, just a white noise rising in volume kind of Shepard's tone going on in his braid while his eyes just look off into the middle distance the person Tony, Tony, to ask your question Tony Tony. We all remember we all remember that footage of Tony

abett being asked about being over in Afghanistan, I want to say, maybe Iraq, and being asked about the death of a soldier and saying, yeah, shit happens. And yeah, you got asked about that and then just stood there completely stationary except for his... like a normal person would do, arms completely limp his sides. Looking ready to commit murder for like a solid 15 to 20 seconds of silence. And instead of just like, he could have gone, well that quote's been taken out of context.

I was attempted to commiserate with them, maybe it didn't come off so well, but I was talking about how bad shit happens in life and that sucks. But instead he just goes full lizard face, tongue sticking out a little bit from between his lips, eyes staring into the distance. Yep. But it is Tony Time now. I think we can all agree the country is falling apart around us. Scott Morrison hated by just about everybody, I would say and really the ground is fertile. The pump has been primed. We're jacked off to the point. And now we need someone to lead us over. So just that one little extra stroke. Yep. That's what gets you to Tony Time. And then it's Tony Time.

That's Tony Time. Welcome to Buntavista, episode 131 I want to say. I feel like we have more inexplicable things to explain this time than normal. Yeah that's true. You may have heard in the cold open there, comedian Aaron Gox calling into the Buntivist hotline to do the classic Dave Husey Hughes snakes a Live bit, which I want to say is around 20 years old. Yeah and I am going to go go further and say we may actually have the only canonical recording of the bit because it's not on the internet. We've been trying. Lost to archives. And a lot of other people have searched the micro fish. It's not on there. Scott Ludlum used all of his powers to try and find it. He couldn't. Couldn't happen. So yeah, obviously if you have listened to the show, if you started listening to the show, because the last week's episode where we talked about the all of the bushfires all over Australia,

it's kind of a bad time, we decided to see what we could do just to help out. So we organized a fundraiser. we did a charity live stream. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the. we organized a fundraiser, we did a charity live stream, for some reason people watch that and donated lots of money to the cause that we were raising money for, which was the New South Wales Rural Fire Service, which is the volunteer firefighters in New South Wales. So those are all people who do that job unpaid, except unlike in normal fire seasons, where what used to happen was, there would be a fire and people would go and work to help put it out for like a day or two, and then they would just go back to their job. Now it is never ending. And so people have like run out of all they leave. The fires being so much more intense and polluting than they have been in the past means that I think a lot of their gear that

Apparently they have to raise the money for themselves. They're out there doing sausage sizzles and all kind of stuff to try and raise money for appropriate like masks and to buy their in uniforms and to the their the the their? and to buy their own uniforms and all that sort of stuff. So we tried to see what we could do to help just raise a bit of money for those guys to say thank you. Guys and girls, obviously. So for some reason we managed to raise $20,000.00. And in the course of two weeks... So close to $21,000 as well. It is close to the $20,978 dollars or something like that. And,000,000,000,000,000,000. And that,000,000. And that,000. And in that. And in that. And that. And in that. And in that. And in that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say to say to say to say to say to say.00,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00,000.00,000.00,000.00,000.00,000.00, to say to to say to say to thi. the. the. the. the. the. theii. thease thea. So to to to off. 20,978 dollars or something like that. And everyone is always trying to go for that classic 21,000 dollar level. We failed on that but we did succeed in. Yeah, it's a nice real number of expectations. Yeah. Yeah. So thank you so

thanks. So a massive thank you to everybody who watched the live stream. Um so thank you so. Tenate you so the go fund. It's I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a the the the th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's th. It's thi. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. $. yeah. So a massive thank you to everybody who watched the live stream Donated to the go-fund me all that kind of stuff We are very very grateful for your help with a good cause But something happened during the course of the fundraiser which was Someone that we've spoken about on the show before Australian comedian Dave Hughes who has the classic snakes-alive? Who, um, who on the show before, Australian comedian Dave Husey Hughes, who has the classic Snakes Alive bit of comedy, that we have talked about before and we started, I don't want to use the word harassing, but it's probably the most, yeah,

but there was a coordinated campaign of harassment that was started by us in the stream that we were doing. Yeah, I think it's sort of an inverse campaign of coordinated harassment because it's not. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, the the the the the th. It's not, the the th. It's not, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, thi the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the classic, the the the their, their, their, their, their thi's, their thi's, their thi's, their their their their classic, is their classic, their classic, is their classic, is their their the classic, the stream that we were doing. Yeah. I think it's sort of an inverse campaign of coordinated harassment because it's not multiple people harassing one person, it was me harassing multiple people. Right. So we were trying to get Dave Husey Hughes to call into the Montevista Hotline and do his classic Snakes a Live bit to help raise money for charity. Now we found it quite difficult to get hold of Husey in early going. And it could have been very easy if we'd exercise some options that were available to us but we're we didn't want to. We respected the man's privacy so we did not do that. But instead Ben harassed a whole bunch of other people as well to see if they wanted to call him and do the Snake's Alive Bit.

And we will be playing a whole bunch of those calls periodically throughout the show both to share them with you and as our way of saying thank you to all of those people who helped us out. Hey here's one right now. Oh hi there. It's Jen Threker here, I just, I just, someone's just funny happen. You know, snakes alive, like the jelly lollies. I bought like a whole bag of snakes' lullies. But the weirdest thing is, like, I opened them up. The bag of snakes alive, the jelly lollies. I opened all of them up. The bag of snakes alive, the jelly lollies.

I opened all of them up and they were all dead. All of the snakes alive, the jelly lollies in the bag I opened. We're all dead. All of them. All of them. All of them. More of thigh. That was a former Triple J host and stand-up comedian Jen Fricker calling into the show. Thank you.

I think one of the things I enjoyed the most about this was people's varying familiarity with the bit. They're, they're varying wishes to actually stick with the bit versus... Putting their own little spin on it. Putting their own little spin on it. Wonderful. Beautiful. A lot of different interpretations. Just goes to show how much you can pull from a bit that has so much depth. It's true.

It's funny because it's true. Which part of the joke you like the best, which of the many twists and turns that excites you the most. Yeah. Just really get stuck into it. Well, it was also interesting to see, because it's my understanding that Ben sent, Ben sent like just the sort of outline of the joke to people, and asked if they would call in and do the bit if they weren't familiar with it.

Well some people certainly were familiar. Well and you could tell by which people did the full expanded version of the bit and we will be pointing that out. Yes, we'll be pointing that out as we go. In saying that, I think maybe I might have to issue an official apology of the show, because when we first spoke about the snake's live bit, I didn't include the second half and I said that's the entire bit. And maybe it is the second half. That really makes it shine, because you're making two puns on two different jellyed snake

confectionaries. Maybe I was a little harsh. Yeah, okay. Is that curry not agreeing with you? What are you going to know? That was a beer, there was no curry in that. Okay. Well, I'm struggling. I can see that. Okay. You've also been struggling every waking minute of every day of your life, so you can probably just tell me when you're not struggling. I'll let you know when that happens. Oh, please do. Now, while we're speaking about volunteer firefighters, the very people that we try to raise that money for, Ben, would you like to take through a bit of a timeline of the scheme that was announced for like a compensation scheme for volunteer firefighters because there was, you know,

a bit of a to-do about how much more unexpected work people had been doing and there were suddenly a lot of calls to say hey I kind of feel like all these people are using up all of their unpaid leave or using up all of their paid leave and then not being able to go to work because they're doing this and all that sort of thing and what the government's response was to that. Right, well, the initial response. And this is already after the fires had been going for substantially longer than they should have been, like, longer than a normal fire season. So they started around September in Queensland and then a few months later in New South

Wiles and Victoria. But that these fires that people have been fighting had already been running for way longer than they normally do, we were getting to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind to kind the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the normally do, we were getting to kind of a point where we're like, this is an exceptional circumstance, having a purely volunteer, or not purely, but a largely volunteer firefighting services maybe not going to be able to deal with this. So people started putting pressure on the government to maybe look at paying volunteers. And at the start of December, going for a while, Prime Minister just comes out and flat out says no. So this is from the Guardian, December 10th. The Prime Minister has rejected calls for more help of firefighters as New South Wales Bushfire crisis expected to worsen. Asked about concerns over how long the tens of thousands of volunteer firefighters, many who have been away from work for weeks now, we're expected to continue without pay.

Morrison said they want to be there. They love it. They love being their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to be there. They love it. They love being there. I love it. It's their hobby. I mean, you get what he's trying to say there, which is essentially these people are volunteering because they want to be part of their community and they want to help, which is a great thing about people that do he's trying to exploit because I think that there has been a very specific there's been a very specific narrative coming out of some conservative politicians which is like oh it would be an insult to try and pay these people because that like they like it makes me think of the

Sydney Olympics thing how tons of the Sydney Olympics was put, like, helped to be put together by volunteers. And it was like year of the volunteer and stuff, and it was this, it was this big expression of like how giving and communal the Australian spirit is and all this sort of stuff. And I feel like this from some conservative politicians has been an attempt to say, oh, well if, hey, you're like, you're like, like, like, to, like, to, like, to, to, like, to, to, to, like, to, like, to, like, like, to, to, to, to, like, to, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, like conservative politicians has been an attempt to say, Oh, well if you're like by trying to pay people you're taking away their rights to be a volunteer and give to their communities. I hate when people give me money and that's a right of mine that I've lost when the money goes into my back. Yeah, when people compensate me for being away from my work for weeks to save people's lives, you know. And also as we kind of talked about on the last bonus, if you pay volunteer firefighters, what's next paying everybody for their labor?

Surely that cannot stand. Thank you. So that would involve us actually, haven't a... Yeah, so I would just say that the people that I've seen saying things about like the volunteer spirit and that sort of stuff, it's generally been coming from the most cynical corners of conservative politics and I put Scott Morrison right up there on that front. Sure. Anyway, yeah. The rest that quote was, these fires been going on for some months now when I was speaking with the fire commissioner on the weekend out there. We have the mega fire at the moment, we were talking through the crew rotations. And the fact is these crews, yes, they're tired, but they also want to be out there

defending their communities. And so we do all we can to rotate the shift to give them those breaks, but in many cases you've got to hold them them their their their their their their their... their. their. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I's. And I's. And I's. And I's. And I's. And I'm their. And I'm their. And I'm. And the fact. And the fact. And the fact. And I's. And the fact is, the fact is, the fact. And the fact. And, the fact. And, the fact. And, the fact. And, the fact. And, the fact. And, the fact. And, the fact. And, the fact. And, the fact. And, the fact. And, the fact. And, the fact. And. And. And. And. And, the fact. And. And. And. And. And, the fact. And, the fact. And, the fact. And, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact So that doesn't really say anything about anything. Other than we're taking them off the fire because they're working too much. And that's that problem solved forever. Yeah, done and dust it. But of course this was not going to last for particularly long by the end of December as the fires were still raging two and half weeks later. The government didn't about face on this. The government came out and say that th th th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they are they are they are they are they are they are they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're took took took took took took took took took took took took the theeee. they're working they're working they're they're they're they fires were still raging two and a half weeks later. The government didn't about face on this. The government came out and said that they would be giving volunteer firefighters in New South Wales who work for private businesses will be eligible for up to $6,000 in compensation under a new Commonwealth funded scheme. They've smells like somebody's means are gonna get

tested. And you bet your ass, they certainly will be. The rough overview that was put out when this was first released on the 29th was, volunteers who work for smaller medium-sized businesses or are self-employed will be able to access payments worth up to $300 a day, capped at a maximum of $6,000 if they have served for more than 10 days fired in the current fires. Morrison said financial support was needed to sustain volunteers to extend periods of leave, which is exactly what people were fucking saying before, but that's fine.

The early and prolonged nature of this fire scene has made a call beyond what is typically made on our volunteer firefighters. No shit. Well I know RFS volunteers don't seek payment for their service, I don't want to see volunteers or families unable to pay bills or struggle financially as a result of the selfless contribution they're making. This is not about paying volunteers. It is about paying volunteers. It is about sustaining our volunteer efforts by protecting them from financial loss. Which are completely different things apparently. Yeah, this is not about giving

money to volunteers. It's about giving our volunteers money. Now I would just note outside of this that this is like a great sort of capsule of like a capsule overview of what this government's response has been to pretty much everything which is to say no to requests for funding of different kinds for more resources to help deal with and prepare for and fight these fires, to deny the climate changes a thing, to act like we've been doing really significant emission reductions when we haven't, all that sort of stuff. And then once it's finally passed the point where the public at large is like, what the fuck

are you doing? The tune immediately changes to, not only are we doing that, but that, but that, but that, but that, but that, but that, but that, but we that, but we that, but we that, but we the, but we thi thi thi thi thi, but we thi, but we thi, but we thi, but we've thi, but we've thi, but we've thi, but we've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, but we've, but we the, but we the, but we the, but we the, but we the, but we the, but we the, but we the, but we the, but we the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, the is thin, the is theat theat theat theat theat theat the public at large is like, what the fuck are you doing? The tune immediately changes to not only are we doing that but we've been doing it the whole time and we love doing it and we were doing it before anybody asked about it which is great. I'm gonna turn into one of those people on Twitter who's like, the government is gaslating me. You know, yep. Uh-huh. Teardrop Andrew. So where this went from here was they then released those actual guidelines. They then released the like the details of the scheme. And I saw this piece in the Fassafern Guardian. And I don't know if we've been able to sort of rustle up any any like additional... Oh if you scroll slightly further down the document. Oh no, well

scroll further. Okay good. Although I don't like the implication that the guardian is more reputable than the Fassafone Guardian. Well they're all types of guardians. It's certainly true. So yes as here, the story was broken by the Fassafone Guardian in January 8th, saying that the details of the compensation package revealed yesterday and on investigation the Faspern Guardian has found that the reality falls far short of the expectations raised by the promises. The expectation was that the volunteer could claim for the first 10 days on the fire line and any days thereafter. Wrong. The first 10 days makes the volunteer eligible.

But those first 10 days cannot be claimed. Only day 11 onwards can be claimed. The expectation was that the volunteer could claim $300 per day. Wrong. The volunteer can only claim their normal working day wage after tax. The expectation was that the volunteer could claim for the day they spent on their normal working day wage after tax. The expectation was that the volunteer could claim for the day they spent on the fire line. Wrong. If the volunteer's normal working day was 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. and they spent from 6 p.m. to 10 a.m. fighting fires or directly supporting those firing fires and then turn up for work, they can only claim the two hours out of their normal working day, 8 a.m. to 10 a.m.

And that's how the human body works, so that's fine because work and going to work putting out a fire, I don't count towards the same meter in your body. No, no, and famously when you work and then you do time that's over your normal time, that goes free. That doesn't get actually compensated more. Because it's over the the time. And the time. the time. the time. the time. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. the th. the th. the th. th. the thi, you's the human, the human. the human. the human, the human, the human the human the human the human the human the human the human the human the human the human the human thi. So, the the the the the the the the human th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So, thi. thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi's thi. So, that goes free. That doesn't get actually compensated more. Because it's over the time. You finish, you finish being paid and now it's time for, now it's fire time baby, it's time for time to fight fires. And what you really want to do, like standing side by side with other people. Is it Uber time? Yeah, it's Uber time.

And what you want to do is like sitting sitting sitting sitting sitting sitting sitting sitting sitting sitting sitting, It's Uber time. And what you want to do is like sending side by side with your other people there in this, you know, life-threatening, extremely important job is to be able to look side by side and work out whether you're getting paid the same amount as everybody else for doing the same job instead of just getting paid for what they're doing. Which would be, to me, that would be a very simple kind of, you work out how many hours you're getting paid for this extremely important and dangerous job, and then they just give you some money based on how many of those you've done to me, and look, I'm just a dumb

ass, I don't have a business degree or anything like that. Just, so I'm probably, there's probably someone out there that can tell me why I'm extremely, extremely, extremely wrong. I'm sure it would probably cost somewhere in the region comparable with, you know, the tax cuts that we passed two years ago to the tune of over $100 billion, which all went to higher income tax brackets. I think those costs are probably comparable, you know, whatever war we may or may not be about to sign ourselves up to, that's all fine.

We'll work that out. We'll make the two lines on the graph meet in the middle somewhere. I hate to hear you talk disparagingly about tax bill, tax billed, the tax billed tax billed tax billed tax billed tax billed tax billed to to to to working Australians closed bracket brackets but it was worse than that wasn't it it was so working Australians can keep more of their money was the name of the yeah absolutely and they do that by when you when the when the wealth trickles down it'll just trickle all the way all the way down to the firefighters I think who will probably last but that's because they're on the front lines they they they they they they they they th they th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho they tho they they tho they they they they thr-I they're thro they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they they they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th the the the to tho to to to to to to their to to to the to the to the to the the to they their their their thoooo the their the doing. We don't want to trickle down too quickly to them. What happens is someone gets paid three and a half million dollars a year, they keep more because of that bill, they put that money into an illegal pedophile island in the Bahamas and then they accidentally, when they're throwing a

bunch of their money up in the air it gets caught in the Gulf Stream and then I don't know if the Gulf Stream goes over Australia, I don't really understand what the Gulf Stream is. We've got several Gulfs, so. Okay, that makes sense. And then it rains down in rural New South Wales to someone who missed out on six weeks of work that were already on the poverty line, but because they were trying to keep those bills that were flying over. Yeah. So I'm continuing on here, if the volunteer did a deal with their boss to work out of hours in order to make up for the time they were away from work, they also cannot claim compensation. Oh, cool. Yep.

So, there's so many types of work here. We're up this. If you are like a casual employee or any of these things you are just fuck. Yeah and it's like so many things that we've kind of been this this I think is each each time takes us by surprise and we shouldn't be surprised by this right we should have been well and truly ready for it and used to it by by point, but like every, like the religious discrimination act, every new thing kind of makes you take pause and go, oh, that sucks way more than I was expecting.

That is way worse and way meaner and mean for reasons that it doesn't have to be mean for, right? Like, like, just mean almost for the point of being mean, but I don't believe that that's their goal. Like other things, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, thi, the refugees, the refugees, the refugees, the the the the the the the thi, the the their, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, thi, the, thr, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their goal. Or like other things, yes, refugees, absolutely, the cruelty is the point. I don't believe the cruelty is the point here. I just don't think they can help themselves. Well, um, let me just hear you with one or two more examples here. If the volunteer was retired and does not have a a working day. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thrulu, thru, thru, thru, thru.ea, thrueu.ea, thrueu.ea, thrue, thrue, thrue, the the the the there. But I know what you're thinking. The Liberal National Party. They might be, you know, they might be not about helping these elite inner city, like bourgeois people who work at the Kmart in Bateman's Bay. But surely they're going to look after the farmers. The farmers, you know, the farmer is the the farmer is, the farmer is, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their the liberal is is the the liberal is is the the the the the the liberal is the liberal is the liberal is the liberal is the the the the the the the the their party is the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thethey're going to look after the farmers. The farmers,

you know, the farmer is the man who feeds us all. Great song. But I'm reading here, if the volunteer is a primary producer and cannot prove that they lost income by being away from their property to fight the fires, they too are not eligible to claim compensation. The Fassafern is experiencing the worst drought on record. Many are not planting crops due to lack of water. Many have had to sell the majority or all of their herd due to lack of feed and water and many simply do not have an income, and so they too will not be eligible to claim compensation. Right, so worse for the people that are already doing it worse. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, th. to, th, th, to, th, th, th, to, th, th, th. th. to, to, th, to, to, th, th, th, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, many, many, many, many, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thr, thr. And, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the people that are already doing it worse. Yeah and as wife of the show, my wife Elinor said, when we were talking about this because she grew up on a dairy farm, as soon as we were talking about this, she was like, well farmers don't have a wage.

No, the farmer can't say, oh this is what I make per hour during this period. So what the fuck? Well here's what happens. You get nothing. Yeah, you get zero. How about you get no money at all? How about you get fucked? Yeah. And of course, at the end here, the expectation was that the compensation would be a fair and equitable process and that all volunteers could claim for the 10 days on what they spent on the fire line. Wrong if the volunteer was a part-time or casual worker and fought the fires on days they would not normally be working, they cannot claim. for the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get. Howe. Howeck. Howeck. How to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their money. their their tho their toyea. their tho time or casual worker and fought the fires on days they would not normally be working, they cannot claim for the days. Absolute hell stuff here. And like you're saying, Theo, like, I'm staying with some family at the moment because we desperately needed to get out of camera away from the poisonous bushfire smoke.

And everybody that I showed this too said the same thing, which is, imagine being the person who sat down and wrote this. Imagine being the person who got tasked by the Prime Minister's office to say, oh no, we're getting absolutely rinsed on our refusal to pay any form of compensation here. Yeah. So do a thing that says that we are going to compensate people, but dear God, make sure that like as few people as possible. Yeah, we talked about this way before we were even talking about the compensation stuff, right, where they just announced a surplus for the first time in, you know, many

years. And I was saying, like so many other people, just throw money at the problem. It's the amounts of money that we're talking about to pay people who are widely and almost universally regarded as heroes, is minuscule when you compare it against the various other things that we're doing. Just throw money at the problem, and you will have a PR, you know, heaven that just continues for years. And like you say, just, just, just, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, just, like, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just their their their their their thi thi thi, just tho, just tho, just their tho, just just tho, just just tho, just just just just thi thi, just just just just just just just their their their their their thi thi their thi thi, just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just their their their their their that we're doing, just throw money at the problem and you will have a PR, you know, heaven that just continues for years. And like you said, Andrew, instead there's some sort of horrible weasel with half of their skin falling off, sitting in some office somewhere, working out how to means test,

being paid for firefighters. Got to make sure people aren't taking advantage of it. But hey, before we continue on... Hi guys, this is Demi Larner and I just... I just wanted to call to say, I brought a bag of snakes alive the show, and somea bye. to

the show, and the show, and Demetian Demi Lardner, I calling him there. Maybe to complete the, that voicemail, cinematic universe we should maybe play the Tom Walker one straight afterwards. Here we go. Hi guys this is Tom Walker I am calling up with an issue that I've had which is that I recently bought myself a packet of snakes alive the confectionery but when I opened it up they were all dead. I mean, every one of these darn things is dead.

I mean, if we'd had airballs in them, maybe they'd become killer pythons eventually, but who's the say now? All that lost potential. Oh, it really makes you think. Anyway, if you guys have any tips, I would love to hear back. Thanks so much. The packet of snakes alive was all dead. Wonderful rendition, but I think for me, my favorite detail is absolutely Demi cackling

like a goblin in the background. Clearly from one room over. Beautiful stuff. You know how we spent $50 billion to make 12 submarines? Oh boy do I? What if we got one less submarine? Oh, I think you mean one fewer submarine. Checkmate. I mean what I mean what I fucking said, I'm gonna kill you. Ben, I put it to you that we simply cannot do with that number of submarines. I don't know what the number of submarines that we have is. One less than that would kill us all.

Godzilla is going to be swimming towards Australia and they'll be like, perfect. All it will take is 12 attack submarines. As soon as, as soon as like, Godzilla is reading the paper, right? Australia announces one fewer submarine and he immediately he just folds up the paper slaps it down on the kitchen table takes his rear glasses off stands right up pushes his chair back Mrs Godzilla is like where you going honey and he's like don't have time I don't have time to talk about this he hops the monster I got to work on a. He hits straight for Darwin.

Straight for Darwin. And they'll deserve it. Let's be frank. You want to pay these volunteer, let me remind you with that word. You want to pay these volunteer firefighters and leave us pretty much defenseless. You know? So this story from the Fast Fern Guardian was confirmed by the other smaller guardian. The regular guardian. Vanilla Guardian. Default Guardian. Guardian Classic. Yeah. It was confirmed by Guardian Classic on January the 10th. They did say that the payments only kick in after a volunteer has spent 10 days in total on the fireground and only pays for the loss of income

in the days which follow. A spokesman for natural disaster response minister David Little Proud, a man with just a silly name. And one that's begging for everybody to make extremely like, just generic jokes. It's him and Ian good enough. Yeah, both fucked. Little proud and good enough, my goodness. They defended the threshold saying, quote, the 10 days volunteering is a qualifying period, love to qualify for things, for the government's reimbursement for volunteer firefighters.

This is a sensible period of volunteering before being eligible for the reimbursement. You wouldn't want to be insensible. Insensible. Hmm. The RFSA also defended it saying the majority of volunteers are happy putting their time in and they haven't heard many complaints about people really suffering, although a few people have said they'll be applying for the scheme. So yeah, they did confirm that the compensation payments cover only the hours of work lost. For instance, someone who misses a 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. work day to fire until 11 p.m. will only be paid for eight hours work. So that person can just go and eat shit, you know? And that's cool. That's very cool. That's what's cool. Self-employed farmers have also bulked the scheme querying how they can prove lost income.

Quote, the real problem is that even in a good season and we're in the worst season this area has ever experienced, we don't have a regular workday income. Burnett Creek Grazier Glen Fearby told the fast-fauntian, which first report of the restrictions. Guardian Australia understands this part of the scheme is still being worked on, but that it is expected to use current current quantifying the value of a particular farmer's income value in a day, and it would take into account the season, but not the drought. Which is good, because it's not like there's a connection between our fire seasons and drought periods. Well, we don't want to get into all that, do we?

That seems like a whole thing. Uh, hey, we might drop another voice mail on you. Yeah, how about that? How about that? Has everybody feel about that? I was going to keep them coming. Yeah, bloody, you know what it's 711? I was like, how do you want to get on everyone? Yeah, good on you, bloody got some snacks alive. It's bloody over and up. Or all day. Yeah, good on you, good on everyone. Yeah, happy, happy birthday. What a good time on Husey, yeah? Bloody hell.

No, thank you. No, thank you. Now, we were actually quite excited when we got that one because we spent a while just turning to each other and going, was that really Husey? If it's not, it's a spectacular impression, which it is, but we all said, I'm thiuze. I'm today's own name, like a pocabond. I'm Huse. I'm H Dave Hughes. That was in fact a wonderfully spot-on impression by comedian Ben Russell. You may know from things like

Auntie Donner. The grub. Not Auntie Donner. He's on Auntie Donner. He's the kind of British uppity guy that goes to buy a paper off of the kid at the end of the sketch same time. Oh, you're absolutely right. Oh, I know I'm right. Same time? I should clarify. Same time.

That auntie daughter sketch, same time. We should clarify. I don't think he's a core cast member of Auntie Donner. Okay. But that voicemail is an thaaaauuuuuuuuuu. the tha. thu. thu. the thu. thu. thu. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the the th. th. th. the th. thi, the the thi, the thi, the, the. the. the. thee. theeat theat theeat theeat theeeat theat the. the the. the. the the thimes. Allow it. But that voicemail is an absolute treat. There are so many things in that 23 seconds that just really get me. So many wonderful details that I want to ruminate on. 7-11 chips, no thank you. No, thank you. You.

You did that. Please listen to the grub. Also, watch the Hot Dad production video, Ozzy Trash and Treasure. Oh, it's so good. It's such a good skit. And just Ben Russell's character, just that like real, Oh, I'm an Australian dad. I'm giving it to go. Energy is phenomenal. Wonderful. Not to be missed. So back to the depressing stuff?

Continuing on, back to the depressing stuff. This is the thing, we've got to break it up for you. You know, you're going to break it up a little. So there was another piece in the Fast Farn Guardian where they spoke to farmers about how the competition scheme. I don't know. This is a busy guardian. They've been all over it. I'm wondering if they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll their their their busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy. I they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy. I'll busy busy. I'll busy busy. I'll busy busy busy. I'll busy busy. I'll busy busy busy busy. they're. they're busy busy busy. They're. They're they're. They're. They're. They're they're. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll wondering if they'll get official like guardian affiliation after this or... Yeah, well you start off I think as a franchise of the Guardian. They're the best word guardian the the the their their way up. Fast phone guardian Australia. Yes.

Yep. You are an apprentice guardian up to some point. You get your full qualification. They give you your badge and your gun, and then you're good to go, really, guarding stuff. So here's a little quote from this piece about them speaking to farmers, about how the compensation scheme will not work for them. When Glenn first heard that volunteer rural firefighters might get some compensation for fighting fires, he remembers thinking it was a bit silly.

He says, my family has always fought fires here, my dad, my grandad. We did it because it threatened our property or it threatened other properties in the district. We helped others when they needed it, and they helped us when we needed it. It's the nature of volunteer rural firefighters, he says. If we don't stop it in this area, it would just keep burning through neighboring districts. But this fire season, it was different. started above Burnett's Creek on October 17 took a long time to stop. In some places we were able to redirect it away from private property where it would have burnt out the last of the little feed there was left for cattle. We'd hold it on for a fire break. We'd hold it on a firebreak for a while but then it wouldn't break out again. That fire eventually became known as

the Mount Barney National Park bushfire and burn through the more than 25,000 hectares of public and private land in Queensland and New South Wales before it was considered no longer of concern in late January. It sounds pretty concerning. Late December I'd say probably. It's late January hasn't happened yet. Well, you know, Poe body's nerfics. You don't have to be crazy to work here. It absolutely helps. We won't support. Oh, I can't be. Get out here. You don't have the the the the the th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be crazy to work here. It absolutely helps that. But we won't support. Oh, I have to be. Get out here. You don't have to be crazy to work here, but if you do, we will offer mental health support. We will try to steal some of your medication maybe. We'll take it.

What do you go? We'll take it. Hey, uh, check this out. Hi, it's Will Anderson. And when I was working with Dave Hughes on the glass house, I distinctly remember one day, I bought a packet of snakes alive, but I opened them up and they're all dead. Anyway, in retrospect, I think you should put air holes in the bag, so they could have grown up to be killer Python. The end. Beautiful.

I would say that one is particularly special because I think he might be one of the few people who would have maybe actually heard that bit in person. Seeing the bit in real life. Yeah. That is true. That is very true. He was on the TV. He's still on the TV. That was of course stand-up comedian Will Anderson. You may recognize him from the Gruin Transfer, a show that is on TV. I haven't seen it. And podcast, to-fop. What's that acronym for Ben?

30-odd foot of podcasts. That's true. He's also got another one called Two Guys One Cup. And I think he has another one called Willosophy. Okay. I thought that was one of his that he's not using any more. For the rest of us. No one. We've got one. We've got one. We've got one of his many. We're good. We're good. If you need a podcast. We'll third of the value of a podcast as soon as it. So you've taken off the showroom four. So you know how you go to, you know you go to Jay Leno's house and he's like, here's my, he's my 600 vintage cars or whatever. That's Will Anderson's house.

It takes you through his big warehouse. Yeah, I barely have time to take these guys for a run like ever. You wouldn't believe how much it costs just to get someone to come through and keep all the dust off these podcasts. You know? So, depressing stuff and something that I have been finding interesting about all of this bushfire-type business and the government's response to it, particularly the government's lack of response to requests for funding for various things, is that it's produced all of these like perfect little encapsulations of people being able to put two news stories side by side.

So one of them, you know, in this case you could say, one of them, one would be the quote from Scott Morrison saying, oh no, we don't need to pay firefighters and nobody wants it and nobody's asking, followed almost immediately by him saying, oh yes, we're giving money to people and we've been working on it for ages in the three days since I said we're definitely not doing it. Yeah, and every single time, there's like some journalists on Twitter that was like, I asked him three hours ago about this and they said the government wasn't getting involved. Like every case. Another example I saw this week was somebody that might have been friend of the show, Benjamin Law maybe, had put two things side by side, one of which was, one of which was a government minister or somebody saying, this th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi two things side by side, one of which was,

one of which was a government minister or somebody saying, oh, Food Bank is doing a great job and they're donating all of this food to people. Oh, they absolutely cut food bank. Directive donations to food bank. And then the next one was a story from like six months ago of the government cutting $300,000 from the yearly budget that they give to Food Bank, along with a quote from somebody saying, we don't even know why they're doing this, like it's going to make more people homeless and all this kind of stuff. And they also had the pivot on that one, which was, after getting dragged

on that, they, like Scott Morrison did a press conference where he said, we are increasing funding, funding the funding the funding the funding to to to the funding to the funding to their their their their their budget, their budget, their budget, their budget, their budget, their budget, their budget, their budget, their budget, that that that that that that their budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget that that that that that that that, that that, that that, that, that budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that the budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget budget, that that their budget, their budget budget, their budget, their budget, their budget, their budget, their budget, their budget, their, their, their, their, their, they, they, theyyyyyyyyy budgeted, that's theyyy budgeted that they budgeted budgeted budgeted budgeted budgeted budgeted budgeted budgeted budgeted, was after getting dragged on that, they, like Scott Morrison did a press conference where he said, we are increasing funding to Food Bank and some of these other groups so that they can help in this time of need. And what they meant by increasing funding was just putting back the money that they had slashed out of the budget the previous year. They said, oh, we've, you know, increased, increase their budget by $75,000 each year over the next four years or whatever, and that equals out to exactly the amount of money that they cut from them six months ago. So they didn't give them more money. All they did was give back what they took away. Well, you know, when you take 20 bucks from your mate's wallet to go and like to to to go to go and to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. their. their. their. their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, the. And, the. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, thea. And, thea. And, thea. And, thea. And, the. And, a.m. and then one week later you give them $15 back and say, thanks so much mate. No need to thank me. You're very welcome. You're so welcome.

So um, you know, to take a little turn away from that, should we maybe have something slightly more fun, you know? Is it another voicemail? It could be, but maybe instead, are we going to home to the place. I belong, Bulta took a sown, nature corner, rubber crab, the theme developed in a secret laboratory by dear sweet listeners and patrons of the show. If you become a patron of the show,

you too will be able to frequent the Discord server where they cook up this type of scheme. Yeah, they're always doing gang vocals for stuff that you'll get right into. Would you like to pay money to us and then give us free content that we use on our show that we were supposed to produce ourselves but then didn't because... They're volunteers. They want to be doing it. That's right. It's the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. It's also also also also also also also also th. It's also th. It's also they's also th. It's also th. It's to to to their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho. tho. tho. thoooo. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their thoooooooo. th. the they're volunteers they want to be doing. They want to be doing it. That's right. It's also not a secret lab if it includes everybody in the world except Theo. That's just putting Theo in his own little crate and only allowing him to emerge once the surprise is ready. It's a big lab. It's a big lab. So what do you got for Nature Corner this week, Ben? Well, you know how we're on the precipice of a war with Iran. Know it? I love it.

Pff. Okay. I don't really. You just got to try and sound positive about something. Yeah, you're absolutely right. And this is the thing that you should try. Just a peek behind the curtain here, we are all sitting for the first time, three of us in one room, and it is so much more fun to actually see Andrew with his shit-eating grin as he says, these things, a constant joy. Surprising you can talk with all that shit in your mouth.

Oh, my big happy face and on my brown teeth. Disgusting. Anyway, we're going to war with the road. And reputable rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep rep reputable news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news news site thus thus thus thus thus th. th. thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. to war with a run. And reputable news site, which I mean, you guys probably all have this like as your default home page for your Chrome's or your Firefox or whatever, because I know that every day that I wake up, first I've got to have my cup of coffee, you know that about me. And then I got to read my military.com. If you're not familiar with military.com, I'll read their little blurb about themselves for you. Whether you're thinking of joining the military, looking for fitness and basic training tips, or keeping up with military life and benefits, military. thoan. Hold on. I can't even let you go any further than that. Keeping up with military life and benefits.

So that's not just being in the military, having a military life, getting all of the benefits of the military bestowed upon you, health, fitness, PTSD, etc. It's just keeping up with other people's military life and benefit. Well, I mean, it could be my military life and benefits. I need to know if I should buy the F-35 now or wait for the Block 4B with all the improvements. And no one's going to tell me except military. Wait till they take the decapitator out of the F-35. Yeah, look, that is a... Don't want to buy it just yet the the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues their tha. tha. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I's thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thioletary. I's military. I'll to bea. I's military. I's military. I's military. I's, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, except, the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the military, the military, accept military, accept military, accept military, accept, accept, accept, except military. the the the decapitator out of the F-35? Yeah, look, that is a... Don't want to buy it just yet until they get all the issues out. It's like VR.

Yeah. If VR could punt you through class... You want to get an Oculus 12. Yep. Yeah. Yep. So they published an article with a headline along lines of Russia,, sorry, Iran may have communist killer dolphins, which was not some original reporting on their behalf. This is them rehashing an article from year 2000.

Don't know if you can, 20 years ago. Cast my mind back to the... No, is there any songs that might help us lead into the year 2000? Would you like them to be anthemic? Oh, that's good as well well I was thinking the Conan bit in the year 2000 but I'm also open to some silver chair? You would be wouldn't you look at you? Fuck you, there's good! No I like some frog's dump, what a great album. We're not here to discuss the merits of silver chair. Okay, all right, look, look, we'll work this out. All right, this is an article for the BBC to th cb t can use whatever song about either 1999 or 2000 that you want to use as a touch point for this. But Iran buys kamikaze dolphins. Sorry, just hit me with that one more time.

Iran or depending on if you're American, Iran. I ran, yep. So far away. Well, that's the only thing that makes that joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke that joke. that joke. that that that that that's, that's the only thing that makes that joke makes sense for them, isn't it? The willful butchering of all names. Ah, Riyak, Iran buys Kamikaze Dolphins, and I was looking at this article, I'm like, I'll snip out all the funny bits. Oh, it's all of it, baby. Strap yourself in for this. Close your eyes though.

Close your eyes, unless you're driving the car. And then get someone else to hold the steering wheel and close your eyes. Yes, fold your arms across your chest into your mind palace. If it's just you in the car, just steer with your knees. Ideally, if you could lie down in a sensory deprivation tank, you want only the sound of this article to be going into your brain. Yep. I love this opening sentence so much. Dolphins trained to kill for the Soviet Navy have been sold to Iran. But what will that, but what they will do with the Persian Gulf is a

mystery. Well probably kill, right? Life is a beautiful mystery. Dolphins and other aquatic mammals were trained by Russian experts to attack warships and enemy frogmen, which is cool than it sounds. But when funding for the project ceased, many will move to a private dolphinarium to perform for tourists. Oh my god. My private dolphin area. Oh boy. I have my public dolphin area and my private dolphin area. I have my public dolphin area. And my private dolphin area. Not just any schmuck can come into my private dolphin arom.

That is a wonderful turn of phrase. Their chief trainer, both in military and civilian life, was Boris Zurid, who began his career as a sub-mariner before graduating from a medical academy, so he's done a lot. What a life! Well, I would love to share some drinks with former submariner and trainer of killer dolphins. Boris.

Earlier this month he sold the entire collection to Iran because he could no longer afford to feed it. If I were a sadist, then I could have remained in Sevastopol. Mr. Zerod told the Russian newspaper. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Go. Go. Go. Go, go. Go, go. Go. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. astopol. Mr. Zyrid told the Russian newspaper, Oh, God, give it a go. Come, Saliskaya Pravda? Yeah, it sounds good to me. Sure.

But I cannot bear to see my animals starve. We're out of medicine, which cost thousands of dollars and have no official food supplements. Uh, Sevastopol based journalist Arkady Vallondon told the BBC that the biggest problem came during the winter period when there were no tourists. In total 27 animals including walruses, sea lions, seals and a white beluga whale were loaded with the dolphins into a Russian transport aircraft for the journey from my god. Imagine that Disney movie. I believe Nicholas Cage did just make a movie like that.

Where he was some sort of contend. Oh, I can't remember what the name of the movie is now. Oh, the name of the movie is Primal, where Nicholas Cage stars as a big game hunter who has caught like some type of a big wild jaguar and then they get loaded onto like a ship with lots of other kinds of deadly animals and then they all get out. Sounds pretty good. Sounds sort of like con-air. Hmm. I love I love like Korea Nicholas Cage. Everything is great. I watched a movie last night called the Trust that was about Nicholas Cage and Elijah Wood as to Las Vegas cops who decide to try and like rob a safe from a bunch of big criminals.

And Nicholas Cage is just doing like full ape shit. And it's very good. I assume that was... Elijah Woods, stoned all the time, stone and wood. You know? I assume that was a Spectorvision movie because Elijah Woods production because Elijah Woods production just keeps making awesome Nicholas Cage movies. They did. Bloody Mandy was Specter vision. Color out of space was Spectivision. Very did. Bloody Mandy was Spectrevision, Color Out of Space was Spectrevision. Very good. There was just a one sentence after that last one, which is delightful to me.

Three cormorants were also among the cargo. Three cormorants. Do you think they were part of the delivery or they've just gone along in some sort of parasitic animal relationship? Just hopped on. You can't get rid of the things around here. You know? Terrible. Four of the dolphins and the white whale underwent training with Mr. Zirrod at a Pacific naval base before being transferred to Criman in 1991. The animals were trained to attack enemy frogmen with harpoons attached to their backs or to drag them to the surface to be taken into captivity.

Huh. Can you fucking imagine you're like some super well-trained fucking Navy seal? You're in your scuba gear, you've got your cool-ass harpoon gun, and you're just like silently swimming along the bottom to some enemy warship or whatever, and then all of a sudden a dolphin with a harpoon strapped to its back just fucking runs you through in the guts. Or you're swimming through the through the black ocean in the dead of the night towards a ship that you're going to infiltrate, and then something in dark grabs you by the ankle and starts forcefully dragging you back to shore to be taken into captivity. Terrifying. Have you guys ever seen the documentary Blackfish?

No, I knew it would bumme me out too much so I didn't watch it. Oh man. Like it is a bummer, but it's also terrifying because one of the things that's a running theme, like, so for anybody hasn't seen this, it's a documentary that I think was one of those rare documentaries that seemed to almost overnight change public opinion on a subject, like entirely. And for this one in particular it was SeaWorld, and Seawold keeping like dolphins and you know killer whales and orca and so they had all of this like archival footage of people who had been trainers at SeaWorld and then people who had gone on to leave SeaWorld and people who were like yeah so I was like a killer whale trainer and when they were like

looking for people to work there I've run it up and said oh yeah I was like a swimming instructor or whatever and they like the the thi tho th and th and like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they were like they were like they were like they were like they were like their their their they were like their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they. they. I they. I they. I they. I was like thi. I was like thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I their their their their their their their their their and when they were like looking for people to work there I've run it up and said, oh yeah I was like a swimming instructor or whatever and they're like cool get him with the killer whale. Off you go. Yeah they were just like all these people were like oh I was not trained in any way to deal with an animal they were like we'll train you. And so they have all these bits of footage of footage the footage the footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of footage of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was they were they were. I was they were. I was. I. I. I. I. I was. I. I was. I was. I was. I was they were. I was the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I was th. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. the the the th. the th. th. the th. th. th. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was the have all these bits of footage from like the times that trainers had been in the pool with a big killer whale and the killer whale has gone you know what I'm fucking tired of this and there's one whole segment in the middle

of this thing where a guy is doing he's in the middle of the show big stadium full of people and you know he's doing his whole thing whether the killer whale like he stands on its nose and it swims along and everything and then he's like all do a jump and the thing goes no and It just grabs his ankle and Swims down to the bottom of this like 20 foot deep pool and just sits there holding him underwater And then after like 30 seconds to a minute? It let him go. It lets him go go an, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the stadiums the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the stadiums. the stadiums. te. te. te. te a tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. the same the the the the the the the the the him underwater. And then after like 30 seconds to a minute, it lets him go, and he swims back to the top,

and like gasps for two or three breaths, and it goes, gump, and grabs his ankle again, and drags him back down to the bottom of this 20-foot deep pool. And it, like, they've only got the footage, because someone in the crowd is videotaping it and you can hear everybody in the crowd going, is this, what is happening right now? You see old people are like, it's okay everybody, ha ha ha. And this continues to go on for like 10, 15, 20 minutes of the killer whale just letting him go and he comes up and he gets a few breaths in and it goes, all right, down you go again.

And eventually the guy manages to get out of the pool with his broken ankle because of how many times the Killewell's been grabbing him by it. But yeah, just all these X-trainers just going like, yeah, when you work at SeaWorld, they're like, you and the whale are friends. They're like, you're not friends. You've been enslaving these animals and making them do tricks for years. And every now and then they go, you know what? I think I'm just going to break all of your bones and throw you around in the pool in front of a crowd.

So the whole through line of this documentary is one killer whale that had been working at various like aquatic parks through California for decades and every time it killed a trainer they just sent it to another park and didn't tell any of the trainers about it. Oh cool! Oh wow! So yeah this this one killer whale went to like three or four trainers to like throwns to like throwns tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the in the in the in the thro in the the in the thro in the the in thro in the in thro the in thro tho the in the in th't tell any of the trainers about it. Oh cool. Oh wow. So yeah, this one killer whale went to like three or four different parks in California and it killed like two or three people. And they were like, just don't tell anybody about the new whale.

Don't mention the murder. Yeah, so it's right there in the name, you know, it's that kind of whale. Anyway, captivating viewing, and also don't get in the pool with one of them. Sure. Is all I'm trying to say. I'm probably not going to do that, I don't think. Well, you know, if you were thinking about it, just don't. I'm not.

They could also undertake camadzizi strikes against enemy shipping, carrying mines that would explode a ship on contact with its hull. The dolphins could allegedly distinguish between foreign and Soviet submarines by the sound of their propeller. Terrifying. According to research by the whale world. Many have been kept in poor conditions on arrival and others have died on rock. It kind of fucking sucks. I mean, yeah, but yeah.

Do you think, when they say kamikaze, right, when I think of the concept of kamikaze, you know, it's all the guys who would yell, Banzai, as they consciously did the going to their death thing. Kamikaze sort of implies to me that the dolphin is aware that it is also going to explode when this thing happened. Yeah, instead of a thing that's been trained to go like a dog would towards a ball. But also the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the a dog would towards a ball, but also the dog has a sea mine strapped to the back of them.

Yeah, go over there and boop it with the stick on your back, just like you do with the pool and then you get a fish. Give it a snoot a little boot with the, uh, yeah. With that mine on your back. Yeah. Anyway, I'm not, uh, you know Ben, I'm not accusing you of misattributing intention to the Dolph. Sure, certainly. It's military. that I have issues with. It goes on. Komsilotskya Pravda points out that Mr. Zurich's research was primarily of a military

nature and describes the dolphins as, quote, mercenaries. In essence, Iran has bought our former secret weapon from Ukraine on the cheap, the Russian newspaper wrote. It also pointed out that USA has in the past raised objection objection to some Russian military sales to Iran. Mr. Zirud remained vague on the role he and the animals would play but he said, I am prepared to go to Allah or even to the devil as long as my animals will be okay there. Wow, that's beautiful. It is beautiful, man, a lot of these animals. Well, there you have folks. That is about all we have time for this week.

So, as everybody knows, this is an independent show. We don't like any of that advertising jazz. Who the hell does. So if you would like to support the show and We don't like any of that advertising jazz. Who the hell does? So if you would like to support the show and also get an extra episode every week as you do, you can head on over to Patreon.com slash Wunter Vista. Slap down your five dollars a month and get yourself from, you know, some extra episodes. Help us out, support the show. If you would like to write into the show, ask a question, state a grievance of some kind, you can write into mailbag at Buntavista.com.

If you would like to call into the show and leave a message for us, it doesn't have to be Dave Hughes's Snakes Alive bit, though it can be if you want it to. Australian listeners can call in on 1-800-317515 and U.S. listeners can call in on 732-876346. Here's someone who did call in on the American line and leave a message for us. This is Paul F. Tompkins. Ooh. I bought a bag of snakes alive, but when I opened them up, they were all dead. There's comedian Paul F. Tompkins calling in there and doing the classic Dave Hughesy Hughes bit. That snakes being alive. P. We're definitely on a first name basis now with famous comedian

Paul Lef Tomkins. Awesome Paulie. Yep. Yep. Pauly. Very nice with him to do that and help us out. We also had calls from Singer Patience from the band of Greats. Thank you, Patience. Former Australian Green Senator Scott Bloodlam called him after medicine. I feel like maybe we should play that one just because of how physically pained he sounds doing it. Yeah, okay, here we go. Is it?

My name is Columblin, I gave this against my will. I opened a bag of snake alive the other day, and they're all dead. Is that in? I think that's it. Wonderful. I like that he does try to do the intonation a little bit. They're all dead. Wonderful. That is it, Scott. He does try to do the intonation a little bit. They're all dead.

But yes, claiming to be calling it against his well. And of course, we also had some messages from Enemy of the show, Marbonne, Bonaman Incorporated, and a friend of the show, an editor of business insider, Chair Hennessey. So, we're going to leave you with the call that we finally got. And this is what helped to push us over that $20,000 mark. We cannot thank the man enough, but finally giving to us the one known recording in the world of Dave Hughes's

Snakes Alive bit, the man himself, Dave Hughes. Thanks for listening everybody and we will see you next week. It's Dave Hughes here and I'd like to say a boughbag of snakes alive and I open it up and they're all dead. They're not to suffocate in the bags. I should have put them air holes in there so they could have grown up to be yellow pythons. Thank you. You've been a great crowd. I messed up the wording the first time. This is Paul F. Jenkins. Um... you know, Oh, hey, it's Dave. I bought a pocket of snakes alive the other day and I opened them up and oh yeah bitches country of the world! United States is Canada, Mexico, Panama, Mexico,

Panama, Mexico, Mexico, Mexico, Mexico, Mexico, Mexico, Mexico, Mexico, Mexico, and Caribbean, Venezuela, and Venezuela, and Sabah, Costa Rica, Colombia, and Colombia, and Colombia, and Brazil, and Venezuela, and Brazil, and Brazil and Bajan, Pakistan, and Niger, Bahamas, and Uruguay, and Uruguay, and Mediterranean, Albania, and Fulchunates, Norway, and Tunisianians, and Germany, and Geras, Nantes, Norway, and Germany, and Germany, and Germany, and Germany, and Germany, and Germany, and Germany, Turkey and Greece, and Turkey and Greece, and Turkey and Greece, and Turkey, maximum, Belgium, Portugal, and Portugal, Spain, and Spain, India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, found upon the Japan, Cambodia, Japan, Japan, Japan, Japan, Japan, Japan, Japan, Japan,

Japan, Cambodia, Japan, Japan, Japan, Japan, Cambodia, Japan, Japan, Mongolia, Japan, Mongolia, Mongolia, Latin, Tibet, and Tunisia, Nigerian, Nigerian, Nigerian, Niger, Oh, and they were all dead. And they were all dead. And they're all today. Nigerian. Chattanooga.

Egypt. Then, theen is Amalia. Tenia and Malice, Sierra Leone and Oduce. Bahamas. Oh, and they were all dead.