Boonta Vista - EPISODE 137: The Hippo Of The Sky

Episode Date: February 26, 2020

We salute a fallen hero before asking why ANZ thinks saying slurs is a good way to prevent slurs. We also look into Pablo Escobar's illicit animal schemes and beg you to stop doing Plane Crimes. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to Bluntaista episode 137. I'm Andrew and we're here in the scenario factory. We're waiting for the factory to spin us up some scenarios. We've gone full Charlie Kaufman. Maybe we'll be in a hot air balloon. Perhaps we'll be on a three-seater... Wait, it's not a tandem. Does tandem refer to two people? It sure does. Yeah, so what's a, what's a, what's a three-person bike called? Polydom? Tritum? There has to be a name for a three-person bike, right? There's probably a really obvious one. You're gonna get so many twee- twea-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- the to- t-a- to be a t-a-a-a-a- t- t- tand- tand- tand- tand- tand-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- tand- tandem-a-a-a-a- tand- tand- tand- tandem, does tandem. Does tandem. tandem. tand-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- is tand- is tand- is tand- is tan, does tan, does t t t t t t t t t t t ets telling you that you're a fucking idiot. It is just called a tandem bike

apparently. Is a tandem bike where you choose your partner based on like the conversational skills? So we're here in the scenario factory waiting to see what it's spits out for us. Standing over there by the big shoot, where the scenarios get spat out. It's Theo. Hi, Theo. Hey, I just like the noise they make coming out of the shoot. They start clucking it.

It's like the pneumatic tubes, and then you unroll a scroll when you get it out. Yeah, except you unroll it and it's just whatever fresh turds we're dealing up to the listeners every week. Yeah, and standing over in the corner covered in sweat her face all sooty shoveling fire into the engine that powers the scenario factory. It's Lucy. Of course I'm doing the bloody heavy lifting. It's a woman's burden to bear. Yeah women hold up half the sky. That's right. Ancient Chinese Proverb. You know? Is that so?

Apparently, I've heard. And that's, and that is as far as I'm willing to go into that. Cool. Thanks. So, before we, before we go anywhere else this evening, we have to throw out a quick eulogy for a friend of the show and former subject of the show, Mad Mike, the self-taught rocket scientist. Very sad to see. We did of course talk about Mad Mike way back in episode 34 Barnaby's Choice.

Oh wow. Yeah. Yeah. What it's tall. We were just being, you know, lovingly bemused by Mike and the show. episode 34 Barnaby's Choice. Oh wow. Yeah. What it's all. We were just being lovingly bemused by Mike and his attempts to build his own rockets with which he hoped to break the bonds of gravity and teach everybody that in fact the world is flat. And look, you've got to, I think, really give respect to a man of his word, right? That would be an insane idea to literally anybody... To physically do.

Yep, anyone at all, except him. But by Jingo, he went and did it. He called himself mad Mike, you know, really leaned in. Something in the name there. Really leaned into it. So... Let me read you a quote from a news article here. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing. I'm not laughing at the Mad Mike Dying part. There are a lot of mixed emotions going.

Yeah, yeah. You don't know whether the laugh or cry. No, it's not actually about the Mad Mike Dying Part. Hughes tragically passed away today during an attempt to launch his homemade rocket. The Science Channel, which was planning to feature him on an upcoming series called Homemade Astronauts, said on Twitter. Homemade astronauts. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends during this difficult time.

It was always his dream to do this launch, and Science Channel was there to chronic a a to his family and friends during this difficult time. It was always his dream to do this launch and Science Channel was there to chronicle his journey, they said. A video of the incident in which the rocket appears to fall shortly after take off in the Mojave Desert outside Bastir California was posted to Twitter by Justin Chapman, a freelance journalist who was filming the launch. Mad Mike Hughes just launched himself in a self-made steam-powered rocket and crash-landed. Very likely did not survive, Chapman wrote in a caption to the video. Yep. Yaks. I'm going to say, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, their sceiolk is going to be in some hot water over this. You feel like they're partly to blame? Maybe just just just the th like maybe you shouldn't encourage someone who is perhaps quite mentally ill to do

To be a homemade astronaut. I don't know whether he needed any encouragement Just my he was he was doing it well before this my feeling about mad Mike was that this is a guy that was a guy that was sooner or later going to explode himself via rocket. That's sort of just, that's the this is a guy that was sooner or later going to explode himself via rocket. That's sort of just, I mean, that was my thought at the time when he started to do this, when he proposed that he was going to fire himself up in a rocket so that he could see the lack of the curve in the earth or maybe the curve, you know, open mind. I thought this guy is absolutely going to fucking pancake himself tragically. So I don't think he needed the encouragement from people

you know, filming him or whatever. It's just a sad part of the life he chose, which was, again, to fire himself up in a clandestine rocket. If you watch the video it's pretty pretty much the rocket goes up, the parachute fires immediately and then it's just, well that rocket's just coming down baby. Well as as Chapman told the LA Times, the parachute ripped off at launch so the rocket went straight up in an arc and came straight down. It really just goes to show what happens when you ask the dangerous questions.

Someone's going to do it. I will say this, for anybody out there who may think, that we're making fun of the the world is less colorful without someone like him in it. I was, my first thought was that this is a a a a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi, I, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I, I that, that, that, the, the, thi, thi, thr. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thean, thr. thean, thean, thean, the. thee. theee. theee. the. the. a minute. I was, my first thought was that this is a tragedy, right? Because I honestly wanted to see what he had to say about what he saw up there. And like how that fit in with his very strange view of the world. I wonder if the, if the idea was that like, um, that the only way he could say whether there was any curvature to the earth was to see it himself.... the the the the the the th the th the world th the world the world the world the world the world to see it the world to see it the world the world to see it the world the world the world to see it the idea was that like, the only way he could say whether there was any curvature to the earth was to see it himself and that was it? Is that kind of the deal?

That's the deal, yeah. That's essentially the deal. What about a hot air balloon? You know? I don't know. Maybe just not his, he's not like a subject matter expert in hot air ballooning paps. Rockets, got a real, he's, you know, it's in his blood. He's got a handle on it, so I think he's just stuck with what he knew. Died down what he loved. Gotta respect it.

Yeah, and let's, um, you know, let's leave it with a message that Mad Mike Hughes posted to his own social media account with a quote, do I believe the earth is shaped like a frisbee? I believe it is. You know, do I know for sure? No, that's why I want to go up in space. You know, he probably died not having that view at all changed. Good for him.

Yeah, well, you know, stuck in there. He probably died not being quite sure what was happening. You'd hope. You'd hope. You'd hope. You'd hope. It's just all kind of happened very quickly, you know. Damn. RIP. MAD, Mike. Going up to Big Flat heaven. It's heaven flat in this scenario, I guess. Yeah, there's frisbee-shaped earth and then exactly like three kilometers above it. Frisbee-shaped heaven. Sounds good. Sounds good.

You go, your soul like a sense, you get the angel wings immediately. And the little halo. Your soul ascends and then it gets up to the bottom of heaven. It has to go around and come up and the the the the the to the to the to the to the the the the to the the the the the to to angel wings immediately and the little halo. Your soul ascends and then it gets up to the bottom of heaven and it has to go around and come up the side because it is completely flat. Does that mean Galileo is in frisbee shaped hell? I can only. I can only. I can't really.

Galilee is spending eternity being pushed off the edge of frisb-shaped hell and then he dies and reappears. It's constantly shown that his idea was wrong over and over for eternity. Just gets shoved off one frisbee and lands on the next layer of hell. Terrible. It's worse than the last one. Oh, I should have listened. Don't fucking email in and saying that like Galileo was the geocentric guy or whatever. I forget. All right.

No one knows who any of those guys are. The gravity guy. Who could that have been? I don't know. They probably didn't even write it down. Who knows? I'm not part of this conversation. Don't drag me to this. Which one is it, Lucy? Is Galileo the round earth or geococococococococococococ- the g ge ge ge ge ge ge ge ge ge ge ge ge ge ge ge ge ge ge. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the gi? the gi. th? th guys that all just all mushed up into one

that's sure yes he was he the triang guy no one knows we're so dumb so I've got I should know this I've got no I've got an inkling but I don't want to I don't want to break the bit I The earth revolves around the sun guy, right? Yeah, nobody, nobody knows. Theory of Relativity, who? You know? No way to help it. No way to help it.

Or to know who came up with anything. I'd like to know what I would like to know. I'd like to know who came up with the latest ad campaign for A&Z. Bank account of the queer community, I guess, or are they all the bank account of the queer community? Are they the gay tm company? Yeah. I believe they are. And we have talked about gay tems on the show before. And how, you know, just a lot of that sort of stuff generally has the stinky air of exploitation

of minority community. I think we were also talking about like, there was a recent Starbucks ad campaign about like, um, a trans person using their name on the cup and they called it out at Starbucks and they were like, yes. And then all these people replied and were like, Starbucks wouldn't let me change my name on payroll when I transitioned and all this sort of stuff.

So that's pretty cool, you know. So A&Z, major sponsor of the Sydney Gay and Lesbian and Mardi Gras have released a new ad. We could have a little listen. It is part of their, th. their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, like, their, thux, like, their, their, their, th. Starbucks, th. Starbucks, thi, thx, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. We theat, their, their, their, their, their, theat, their theat, thea, the. Starbucks, the, thardi Gras, have released a new ad. We could have a little listen. It is part of their quote, Love Speech campaign. Now, I'm going to play you guys this. It's one minute long and big old content warning. Yeah, it's got some slurs in it. I believe it's like, um like mainly composed of slurs.

Like you know wheat grass juice. You know wheat grass juice right? You get a cup. And it's not experienced this. It's filled with juice. Neither of you have ever drunk a little thing of wheat grass. Jesus cross. I saw it on a 90s TV to know I don't want it. So anyway, what they do is they take a whole bunch of wheat grass and they stick it into a little blender type thing and they pulverize it all. Pulverize it all into a little drink and they give it to you in a cup and it's basically just a shot of like pure, pure grass. So the ad campaign is the juice and the grass is the slurs I guess is what I'm saying. Oh boy. So um content wanting on this one if if you are from a vulnerable group and maybe don't want to hear all of these skip ahead by I guess exactly 66 seconds there we go. So tell me what your name is. My name is, my name is, my name is,

my name is faggot. Dyke, Lezzo, fagg it. Fagget. Fagget was my whole childhood. Poof. Manhater. My name is tranning. You fag. Very freak. At least twice awake.

Carpet muncher. Dirty. Limp-rested. Lady boy. Confused. A lot of people tend to say that you just haven't met the right man yet. Don't be so feminine. People say that I don't look gay.

What are you? I'm not sure what you are, but I effing hate it. Huffter, Hansi, fridg-queer, roasts, just a phase, lesbos, she-mail, sissy, sick. Words do hurt. Homophobic slurs are posted more than 43 times a minute. This is what it's... Stop the hate. We need more, hashtag love speech. Wow. From my handset. Didn't like that. Tell you what. HASHTAG love speech.

Should we just maybe get out in front of this, as we have in the previous episodes to say, hey, it is entirely possible we have the wrong take on this. We do absolutely look for feedback regarding this and that you know any positive move in this direction is of course worthwhile and and amazing. With that said this is really weird. Yeah um very strange. Yeah I believe what we said when we were talking about the Starbucks thing was like I obviously I'm a very cis-heat guy and extremely cis-ha-numb and yeah like I so I don't really have any perspective on like the value of

representation because every form of entertainment made between 1930 and like 2018 has been specifically made for me. So you know, I don't really have... Before that was made for the French. So yeah, obviously, if people see things with representation in them and they go, great, someone like me on screen, obviously I'm not dismissing the value of that. I do kind of question the value of A&Z making an ad which is literally a solid minute of people repeating all of the slurs that they have been called. And obviously all of the

people, according to A&Z, all all people in the video uh... queer in some way both behind and front of the camera some again much like the Starbucks thing i believe we said i'm sure there are people involved who made it and went yes changing the world through this advertising campaign for a major financial institution so according to a and said uh... love speech is a sentence or phrase that has been adjusted to neutralize to neutralize to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theinin the an thean thean theanean the thean the the the the the the the the the the the the the the camera is a sentence or phrase that has been adjusted to neutralize damaging language directed in an individual or group.

The use of juxtaposition, humor, or hyperbole that disarms and disempowers the original statement resulting in a peaceful resolution of conflict and maybe a giggle. What does this have to do with the A&Z Bank? What are we selling here? This is a great question. So, would you guys like some examples of love speech? Because they really definitely pasted us all with the hate speech part. Go on then.

Make sure we're all, you know, really sit... Make sure we're aware. Yeah, we were all very much sitting with the hate speech part. Go on then. Make sure we're all, you know, really... Make sure we're aware. Yeah, we were all very much sitting in the bath of hate speech on that one. So they have a, there's a series of posters here, and each of them have a sentence in like a big block, block impact font type thing in white, and then appended to it in wonderful gay rainbow font is the second half of the statement which as they've said

neutralizes damaging language. For example trans people are sick of being so fabulous. Lesbians just haven't found the right man. Go. Lesbians just haven't found the right mango. Yeah. Really takes the edge off the... Yeah. It barely makes sense and then when you see it, it also barely makes sense as well. It's not a thing that visually. So someone seeing this kind of has to sit there and go, hang on, this seems pretty weird and hateful. Oh, and then like slowly come to a realization that there's a pun here.

Yeah, I mean, well one more for you. Very strange. One more for you. Bisexualsxuals are just confused. Was that dress black and blue or white and gold? Wow. I'm 100% certain that whoever made this ad campaign was 40 plus years old at this point. Well, the thing I would genuinely love to know is, um, I guess, yeah, to what extent were queer people involved in the actual crafting of this as an initiative, because, like, it's weird. It's very weird to me. Because if we're talking about, I guess, representational politics, a large part of

that is just normalizing depictions of like queer people or different minorities in mainstream media. You know, we all understand the whole deal of if the only things that you ever get shown as the type of people to aspire to are straight white people, then that's a, you know, a lot of people are left out of that. A lot of people like, hey, I never see anybody who's anything like me on screen or you know in pop music or whatever. This is very strange to me as like I don't understand what the intention is because in order to get the outcome of like, you know, neutralizing or disempowering a statement, you also have to be the one making the statement.

You have to do a bunch of, I'm putting up posters to remind people of all the slurs and the shitty things people say, just to then say, boys should never wear dresses without a killer pillar of heels. Like, what if you just didn't have any of the posters? I feel like that's also just a shitty angle to take on whatever they're trying to do here, which I'm still confused as to what they're actually going for here. Are they, A and Z, the bank is starting a social movement against like homophobia? Is that what's happening here? I believe so. So, um, as part of this initiative they also, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they also they also they they they they also they they they they they they so. So um as part of this initiative they also made a

They also made a an extension for the web browser Chrome called the hurt blocker The hurt blocker. All right. That's pretty good. Pay that one. Don't don't give that one. Sorry, and also I realize we're 19 minutes into this episode. Is Nome extremely waterable in this? I can hear her, but you never know what's going to come through the mix. You know? I've got some cats fighting outside my house too, so it's.

Noam is singing me the song of her people. That is, fucking feed me. And I also don't like closed doors. As part of this, they made a crime extension called The Hurt Blocker. You guys remember Oscar winning, Oscar winning, 2008 film, The Hurt Locker? Yeah, I took, uh, it can't have been 2008.

Surely, because I took, uh, my now, B Borat voice wife to like our second date to see the one hour ago. I hate to tell you this, but it was from 2008 and also great choice. Must have taken a while to get to Australia. My boss at the tie was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? It is a terrible movie to go to Australia. My boss at the tie was like what the fuck is wrong with you. It is a terrible movie to go to. Oh we had a great time folks. Hey what if, hey a second date and her,

how do you like movies with no women in them where everybody's having PTSD? Big fan. I took it to a special showing of Sarlo. The hurt blocker. The hurt blocker. All right. So this takes homophobic slurs and turns them into cutesy emoges. I hate this. It also includes a count of the number of slurs that have been blocked at a time on a page.

So you can check. Isn't that nice? A page loads up and you haven't even read it yet, and your little slur counter goes, boo-doo-doo- A little alarm goes off the slur, the slur alert. Someone's doing slurs. They're probably about you.

Would you like to be reminded? of just reminding people of slurs this whole thing isn't it? They're like doing irony, they're tweeting the slur, but it's in a joking way because they're on the same side as you. So they, you know, they caught some criticism about this weirdly enough. And they responded to a lot of the criticism on Twitter with variations on the following statement. Our hashtag love speech campaign. The hashtag part. You gotta have a hashtag. How long do you think, roughly it has been,

since anybody thought that a trending hashtag was impacting something. Anyone who wasn't 55 and trying to get the Prime Minister fired by the Queen? It's been a while. It's been a while, right? It's been some years. Hey, let's get this thing trending. You know how all the kids still say that about Twitter? Yeah, sure do. Yeah, is this one going to go viral? And then this 50-year-old ad exec just looks around the room and just utter silence. Uh, hashtag love speech campaign aims to create awareness. Cool. Hey, are you aware of these slurs? Are you aware of some of the slurs they got out there?

Do you want to learn some new ones? Anyway, here's about 50. These are the ones we know. Sorry, that cat is fucking loud. I heard that one. Our campaign aims to create awareness and unity. We want to demonstrate the impact these words can have so that people might stop using them or call them out as hurtful when witnessed. We considered a range of community views before sharing this and every single one of their tweets in defense themselves finished with a heart emoji. So yeah, the idea, I think there's like a fundamental problem here, which is I think that it's sort of starting it's sort of starting

with the premise that people who use slurs to save things to like gay people or trans people don't know that they're hurtful like is the i the idea that somebody like oh I'm sorry I didn't know that calling you that Horrible word was offensive Jesus yeah pretty much any any of the things that they rattled off in the video Do they think that the people who said all of those things to all of those people were like just a bit a harmless banter with me and my pal here. They just need to see the hashtag. Yeah, they see the hashtag.

They see the ad and they go, oh, fuck. Damn, love is trending. I didn't know. Hashtag love speech, I didn't know. If only someone had shown up in the cafe while I was doing hate speech, uh, and done a bit of funny juxtaposition on the end of my rant. Really disarmed me. So you know, great stuff from A&Z. I love to see the way that they're really fixing the community.

Hey, here's another thing they were in the news about recently. For The Guardian, A&Z says it will take a $682 million hit this year to compensate customers who had ripped off over the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Guardian, A&Z says it will take a 682 million dollar hit this year to compensate customers who had ripped off over the past decade, adding to a remediation bill that has already climbed into the billions across the scandal plagued banking industry. Over the past two years, A&Z has spent more than one billion dollars on compensating customers. That sounds like a lot to me. It seems like a big number. Now I know we don't have our numbers expert Ben here tonight. No, a billion is a big number. So we'll never know how many zeros that number has. It's at least 10 million. Yeah.

Imagine how many languages you could translate those slurs into for a billion dollars. You could be be beaming slurs into the Amazon jungle into uncontacted tribes.. to. to. to. to. the. the. the customers. the. the. the customers. the. times. the customers. times. the customers. times. times. today. to customers. to to to customers. to to to to to customers. the customers. the customers. to to to their their their their their their their their their their their beaming slurs into the Amazon jungle into uncontacted tribes. But instead they have to pay it all out to these pesky customers. This is just where it becomes so transparent that absolutely all of this is just like a desperate, they've hired an ad company to do something about their image which has taken a huge hit because they ripped off people and they've had to pay a fuckload of money to to to the the the the their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their.. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I've. I've. I's. I. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. their. their. I. their. I. I. I. their. I. I. I. I. their. I. their. I. I. I. their. I. their. their. their. their. their. their. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. their. I've. taken a huge hit because they ripped off people and they've had to pay a fuckload of money to people over the years and they're trying to desperately do whatever they can and some like 40 year old ad guy has come in

and been like, get this, we're gonna, we're gonna do some love wins hashtag, while we'd say some slurs on the TV. God, wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall in the meeting where someone was like, no, no, we don't, we don't edit any of them out. We don't edit any of them out. It's mostly just slurs. I did notice that it was entirely slurs except for the person who said like, uh, you're an effing puffter or whatever. I was like, oh, you can't say fuck.

Oh, you can't say fuck. But all these other ones are cool. They're ready to go for TV. That's all good. Very nice. Oh, speaking of being a fly on the wall or a fly at all. I think that it's time to take a little trip over for a specialer, Nature Corner, Rubbercraft, Sift my ditch. Do you hear that everybody? That means we've got a double barrel this bad boy up and also

make it a baboon watch. Oh, bless. Baboon watch. Thank you dearly to bee dogs from the discord who remixed the nature corner theme with the baboons in about 15 minutes. Is that the actual baboons from the news story? No, I don't know. I doubt it. I think he just, I think he just googled free baboon, MP3. And that's what we arrived on. But look, I'll take it. And on that note,

we've only had about an hour to spend with this news story, by the way, and I feel like it's going to be with us for the rest of our lives. So probably, like I said, about an hour ago, there was a tweet, which is probably one of the most portentous tweets I've ever read, just miss on scene for days. Police have confirmed to Sky News Australia, they're on scene at Sydney's RPA Hospital, where baboons have escaped the facility. Is there any, is there any indication of what the baboons were doing at the hospital? It just raises so many questions.

Well, that's exactly right. I'm going to assume it's for medical testing, which is awful and I'm glad they escaped. I assume it's like it's gonna turn out to be like a 28 days later rage virus baboon experimentation scenario. Oh look I mean there were there were ideas just firing off just any little thought not that anyone could get out about this. They had that there is a university research attached to this hospital, as there is, you know, most big hospitals. Maybe the baboons came from there, maybe they've been given psychic powers and the ability to lift a Ford Falcon with their minds. Can I give you the actual reason?

I know the reason, but I want to hear it. Yeah yeah yeah I want to hear it from Andrew though. Okay so this is from Twitter account of Rose Brennan who is the chief of staff of the Daily Telegraph have been told the baboons were not destined for medical research the 15-year-old male was on his way to have a vasectomy. He was accompanied by his two wives who had been bought along to support him. Are you fucking with me? Are you joking joking? No, no.

He brought his monkey wives. They took the whole policule along to get him fixed. And he was too much of a fuck beast, broke loose. As soon as he knew that he wasn't going to be like... There is incredible video of them just like prowling through the emergency, like, intake from the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their monkey, their monkey, they they they they they're think, they they thinkinkinkink, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they incredible video of them just like prowling through the emergency intake for the ambulances and cars and stuff. Why did they bring his wives? That seems like a bad choice. Yeah, I don't know.

They didn't calm him down. They've rolled him right up. Now there's the bloody baboons on the loose. They're still on the loose right as we record this I assume by the time people listen to this. No no no they've they have been. Oh they've been captured. Yeah they called the guy from the pound with the cartoonishly large net. The baboon net. They've thrown over all three of them. I want to be the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy to be the guy the guy the guy the guy to be the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy tho. tho. to tho. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they've th. th. the guy. the guy. the guy. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. th They've thrown over all three of them. I want to be the guy shooting them with a big blow dart. Yeah, and they kind of take it out. Has a look at it with Baboon like a confusion. And the eyes roll back in the skull. Didn't even get to cause much havoc with their big old red butts. Hardly even a rampage. He falls down to the ground, both of his wives screeching in dismay. They should just do this anyway.

Yeah. Every so often they should just fucking let some animals go, whatever the funniest combination is at the time, as the sort of zeitgeist changes year to year. Because honestly, I think we need this. We've had too much of zeitgeist changes year to year. Because honestly I think we need this. We've had too much bad news. That's true. Too many things to think about. There's so many things to think about right now. And I would say that there's a large part of my brain that would rather be thinking about sex-craved babooned pollicules on the loose in the center of Sydney. Speaking of things that I would prefer to keep my brain on, I asked my wife whether she knew anything about this. No, sorry, this is about the fourth story on our list, my apologies, which I don't think we're even going to get to,

which is a shame, because it's about Pablo Escobar's hippos going on the loose and just destroying the serenity of like local villages and stuff. And I asked Caitlin about this. And she said, yeah, yeah, I saw the story. Like, oh, but did you, yeah I saw the story like oh but did you did you read the details I wasn't interested in I'm sorry what I had to say I wasn't interested in Pablo Escobar's rogue hippo community it's like just another road kippo story sometimes we have to accept with just two different people

some well generally a marriage does have two different people in it that's that's true that's the same that the marriage that's the th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I wasn't th. I'm the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi tho tho th. I wasn't th. I wasn't th. I wasn't th. I wasn't th. I wasn't th. I wasn't tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, generally a marriage does have two different people in it. That's true. All the marriage fact for your folks. If you're an absolute sex-craved baboon on the way to the, to the, whatever that hospital is. RIP to those baboons or not if they're still alive. So just in case you don't know what the fuck we are talking about. Here's a quick little skim of this piece from ABC.

More than 80 hippopotamuses roaming Colombia's major river thanks to Pablo Escobar. Escobar was killed in 1993, but his life of luxury at the Hussiennapolis Ranch left a negative legacy for the Colombian environment specifically around the town of Doradal, where hippopotamuses have been known to roam the streets or end up at the local soccer pitch. At the height of his power in the 1980s, the drug lord bought four hippos to a private zoo at his sprawling estate along with giraffes and elephants. That's Michael Jackson style here. After his death, while the other animals were

taken away, the hippos were deemed too difficult and remained at the property. It's in the too hard basket. Yeah, well, have you ever tried to move a hippo? Well, I mean, they're the most dangerous animals in the world pound for pound, so, you know, why not just leave them in the streets? Just let them go. Why are you keeping hippos? What a terrible. That's not luxury. Yeah.

I mean, every time I try and move a hippo, right? I get within, say, 12 feet of it. I take off my left thong, and then I take off my right thong. And I just kind of give them both a bit of a smack together together imes, see if I can just kind of get the hippo moving in the direction I want them to go. Flip flops for our American listeners. Yep. Flip flops, get out of the.

I, I, a whang me flip flops together. I'm happy for Americans to just carry that vision. Anytime they hear thong. Their simple brains just go straight towards the underwear and that's fine. Look, just leave them go. The sexiest thing an American man can think of. They are Joe Panteliano in the Matrix. Ignorance is blessed. Let them go. That's right. So I smack them together, you know, I make noises like, pss. And then if they don't move, I am out of ideas. I put my thongongs back back back back back back back back back back back back back back their their thoged thonged thonged thonged thonged thonged. thonged. thonged thonged thonged thongs thongs. thongs. thongs. th. th. th. th. they don't move, I am out of ideas. I put my thongs back on, they go in the house.

So, you know? So basically, they have multiplied as hippopotamuses who have not had vasectomies I want to do. And there are now more than 80 living in the area around the Rio Magdalena, Columbia's principal river. Damn, they've been fucking those hippos. They've been fucking insuffing these shippos. So you know this worries residents the three ton animals can be aggressive and kill more people per year in Africa than any other wildlife species which is a fun fact. Except for humans am I right? The most dangerous

beast of them all. That's right. Except for Donald Trump Jr. probably. He likes to shoot nice-looking animals with a big blunderbuss like a fucking idiot. So yeah, basically don't go there because there's just fucking hippos everywhere. They do things to people that are unpleasant. Which they have every right to do. Of course, of course. Did they ask to be taken there? No, maybe they did. I don't really know about it. I don't know how a hippo asks for something. Perhaps a strategic waggling of the years, which we know they can do. But maybe to give you an idea of what kind of things happen. maybe to give you an idea of what kind of things happen. We're now going to have a little reading from a story in the Guardian from 2013. Go way back here.

Now have you ever seen these stories that they do in the Guardian, which is someone describing an experience that they had? Like I was shot and had to go to the hospital or whatever the fuck, you know? This one, uh, Experience. I was swallowed by a hippo. Not buying it is an experience. Don't buy it. The hippo who tried to kill me wasn't a stranger.

He and I had met before a number of times. I was 27 and owned a business taking clients down the Zambizia River near Victoria Falls. I'd been working this stretch of river for years and the grouchy old two-ton bull had carried out the occasional half-hearted attack. I'd learn to avoid him. Hippo's a territorial and I knew where he was most likely to be at any given time. That day I'd taken clients out with three apprentice were near the end of the tour, the light was softening and we were taking in the tranquility. The solid whack I fell behind me took me by surprise. I turned just in time to see Evans, who had been flung out of his boat flying through the air.

Oh shit! His boat, with two clients still in it, had been lifted half out of the water on the back of the huge bull hippo. There was a cluster of rocks nearby, and I yelled at the nearest apprentice to guide everyone there to safety. Then I turned my boat and paddled furiously towards Evans. I reached over to grab his outstretched hand, but as our fingers were about to touch, Sistine chapel style. I was engulfed in darkness. There was no transition at all, no sense of approaching danger. It was as if I had suddenly gone blind and deaf. I was aware that my legs

were surrounded by water, but my top half was almost dry. I seemed to be trapped in something slimy. This is where he pulled a match out of his pocket. Yeah. There was a terrible sulfurous smell like rotten eggs and a tremendous pressure against my chest. My arms were trapped but I managed to free one hand and felt around. sulfurous smell like rotten eggs and a tremendous pressure against my chest. My arms were trapped but I managed to free one hand and felt around. My palm passed through the wiry bristles of the hippo's snout. Fuck off. No it didn't.

This is... This is... It was only then... ... ... ... ... ............ was underwater, trapped up to my waist in his mouth. I wriggled as hard as I could, and in the few seconds for which he opened his jaws I

managed to escape. I swam towards Evans, but the hippo struck again, dragging me back under the surface. I'd never heard of a hippo attacking repeatedly like this, but he clearly wanted to be dead. Hippo's mouths have huge tusks, slicing in sizes, and a bunch of smaller chewing teetheth It felt as if the bull was making full use of the whole lot as he molded me. A doctor later counted almost 40 puncture wounds and bite marks on my body. The bull simply went berserk, throwing me into the air and catching me again, shaking me like a dog with a doll. Then down we went again right to the bottom, and everything went still. I remember looking up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I, th. I, tuce, tuc. I, tucing, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, t. I, tus. I, tus. I, tus. I, tus. I, tus. I, tus. I, tus. I'm, tuskk. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm.0.0. I'm.0.0. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. And, toluuthe bottom, and everything went still. I remember looking up through 10 feet of water at the green and yellow light playing on

the surface and wondering which one of us could hold his breath the longest. I reckon it's the hippo. Way big a lung capacity, lives in the water. Yeah, they love to go under there. Yeah, like, this guy, I don't know how much time he spends at the pool. You the at the pool. You gotta put some work in if you want to, you know, really get your time up that you can hold your breath for. Blood rose from my body and clouds and a sense of resignation overwhelmed me. I've no idea how long we stayed under. Time passes very slowly when you're in a hippo's mouth. The hippo lurched suddenly for the surface,

spitting me out as it rose. Mike was still waiting for me in his kayak and managed to paddle me to safety. I was a mess. My left arm was crushed to a pulp, blood poured from the wounds in my chest and when he examined my back, Mike discovered a wound so savage that my lung was visible. No. I don't know about this one. No. Luckily, he knew first aid and was able to seal the wounds in my in my in to to my in to to my in to to to to the wounds in to the wounds in to the wounds in to the wounds in the wounds in to the wounds in the wounds in my to the wounds in my the wounds in my to was able to seal the wounds in my chest

with the rubber from a tray of snacks. Let me just consult my first aid manual for everything. I got absolutely fucking everything in the book so how do I how do I read all the pages at once? Oh my goodness. By chance a medical team was nearby on an emergency drill and with their help I stayed alive long enough to reach a hospital with a surgeon. He warned me he would probably have to take off both my arms on the bottom of my injured leg. Oh my fucking God. In the end, I lost only my left arm and they managed to patch up the rest. Cool. So these guys very rosy about this whole thing. And also I feel if you're a sub-editor and the sentence, time passes very slowly when you're in a hippo's mouth, you kind of just,

I feel, we'd just like run around the room in disbelief perhaps. Like, you're never gonna get an article like this again. That's just me. I don't know I I never get to edit articles about people being swallowed by hippos, but I'd love that To be my job. Huh Evans's body was found down river two days later Poor Evans attempts were made to find and kill the rogue hippo, but he seemed to have gone into hiding probably wearing a big moustache Top hat. A little brave.

Oh, Monaco. A whole deal. Very dark glasses, that's the main thing. Oh boy. I'm convinced though that I met him one more time. Two years later. Two years later I led an exposition down the Zambizee and as we drifted past the stretch where the attack had taken place, a huge hippo lurched out of the water next to my canoe. Oh my god. I screamed so loudly that those with me said they'd never heard anything like it.

He dived back under and was never seen again. I'd bet my life savings it was the same hippo, determined to have the final word. So you went back to your job. I might understand this man is armless now? He lost an arm? Well, one arm. Went back to his job down the Zambezi River. And I don't know. I don't know about this. Well, it's the one way to make a living. It ain't much, but it's honest work. Oh, dear. Now, Ben, who provided the research for this episode, helpfully included this story from Agents France Press in March last year.

Very similar. Like the Bible's Jonah, a South African marine conservationist has narrowly survived after being caught in the jaws of a whale. No thank you. That is not for me. No thanks. Reynia Shymph 51 was swept into the mouth of a large brideswale off the coast of the South African town of Port Elizabeth while snorkeling and filming a sardine run last month. Looming up out of the darkness below came a brideswale shooting up into the ball of fish, gulping all in its path, he's told the AFP, adding that his legs were hanging from the mammal's mouth during the incident at the end of February. It's very similar to the hippo guy.

Just kicking about. Shimps wife, Silky, and a a a a wife's wiiiiiiiii, theirfied, theirfied, toedededed, toed, toe, theirf, toe, toe, theirf, toe, toe, theirmed, toe, toe, toe, toe, to watched, the photographer watched on in horror from their boat. Chartered to watch the sardine run, which creates a marine feeding frenzy off Africa's southern coast. Hey, anytime you hear the words are feeding frenzy, do you also think, let me grab my camera and jump in there. Hey, let me just get all amongst that for a second. Yeah, ooh. Hey, Andrew, keep going. I'm just going to go and yell directly into Nome's face for a second.

One sec. Yeah, go for it. He says, I felt some pressure around my waist, and I immediately knew what had happened. It accidentally included me and its mouthed to get it. the todaymea's, the same tooke. toe. toe. too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, and, too, too, too, too, and, and, and, and, and to to toe, toe, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to too, too, too, too, too, too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the a matter of seconds, rather than the three nights Jonah spent in a whale's stomach, according to the Bible story. Well, I didn't think he spent three nights in a whale stomach. Didn't really cross my mind.

Are you sure that your assumption wasn't, oh he got swallowed by a whale, it's a standard deal, right? It's your classic whale swallowing. I don't know about you but every story I see in the news I frame in biblical sense, you know? Definitely. Yeah, very normal. Then the whale realized its mistake and opened its mouth, releasing me. I was washed out with what felt like tons of water from its mouth, he said. This is making me viscerally uncomfortable. Do you think it's a mistake in whale terms? And that the whale realized it. Huh.

Oh, this is not a sunny. No good for me. Yeah, this doesn't, uh, it's according to my whale flowchart, kind of went wrong somewhere here. I do not care for this at all, uh, the whale says. Hmm. South African, the whale says. South African, no thanks. Disgusting.

I have been neglecting to do a South African accent this whole time. When he finally reached the surface, he took a breath and rejoined his fellow snorkelers who were unaware of the unfolding drama. We swim back to the vissal. Clammed up and a chick tiff the unfolding drama. We swim back to the vessel. Clumbed up and a cheek, the camera, okay, no broken bones, no crack ribs, all was good, he said. Oh, my God. It's not bad.

Sound like you're in chappy. Chippy. Chippy. That's chippy. That's chippy. Chippy. That's Vits. Vits Chippy. That's Chippy. Oh, terrible stuff. Now there's a story here that I have really been wanting to get into for some time. And in order to do so, we will need to play the theme for the segment, plainly speaking. This is your captain speaking. Please return your seats to their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of Plainly Speaking.

Now, this is a story from Canada that I saw at the start of February very funny to me, very much not funny to the people at the start of February, very funny to me, very much not funny to the people in the story. Now, Lucy, I want you to give me your thoughts and feelings on this as we go through as a big-time plane passenger, person who loves to go on the planes. I was wondering how you were gonna describe me just then. That was very pragmatic, thank you. A big-time plane passenger? You do love to go to go to go to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the people the the people the the people the the people the people the people the people to the people to the people the people to the people to the people the people the people the people to the people to the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th tho tho tho tho thooooooooooooooooooooooooooo thu thu thoooooooooo the the people the the people the the the planes. I was wondering how you were going to describe me just then. That was very pragmatic, thank you. A big-time plane passenger? You do love to go on the planes. I just love it. It was sitting the belly of the plane. That's right. Oh you know what I saw the other day?

You remember when I believe it was United Airlines accidentally tweeted that photo of the lady pleasuring herself with the toy plane? Oh? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theate. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to the to to the to te the the thee thee thee thee the the. the. I the. the tweeted that photo of the lady pleasuring herself with the toy playing. Remember that? Didn't see that one. Sounds good. You haven't seen it? No. It's just like, 2013, I think. I remember it was at least that long ago because I remember sitting in the office when I saw the tweet at work. Incredible. Lucy, I'll catch you up. We'll go through this offline. OK. 2013, the year that man was swallowed by a well. I mean, a hippo-thing.

A lot of things happened that. I got married. There was the plane vagina thing. The hippo stuff, all of it. A lot of things happened. So here's here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here's the the the the the the the the the the th. th. thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. West Jet flight to turn around and fly back to Toronto claims that his intent was to create a viral video when he suggested on the plane that he may be sick with the new coronavirus. The internet was a mistake. Quote, it certainly wasn't a smart thing to do.

James Potock 28 of Vaughn, Ontario, north of Toronto, said on Tuesday. Patok, who describes himself as a frequent flyer and an upcoming hip-hop R&B artist, apologized to 243 passengers aboard flight 2702 to Montego Bay, Jamaica. But Patok, who has been charged with mischief and breach of recognizance, claimed that he did. and 43 passengers aboard flight 2702 to Montego Bay, Jamaica. But Patok, who has been charged with mischief and breach of recognizance, claimed that he didn't actually say he had the coronavirus. Halfway into the flight, he said he pulled out his camera, stood up, and then asked if he could get everyone's attention.

So this is a question. Something you want on a plane, to look at me on a plane anyways, continue. I don't want anyone to look at me on a plane for any reason. I don't want attention any time, let alone midway through a flight for this exact reason. The flight attendant can look at me when we're talking to each other about the drink I'm getting or whatever, and the flight attendant, so maybe the captain can look at me when I'm getting off and I'm saying thank you. That's it. There's the only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the the thi one thi one thi one to to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I the. No the. No the. No the. I the. No the. I the. I the. No the. I te. I thean. No theat. I the. I look at me when I'm getting off and I'm saying thank you. That's it. Those are the only people who should have to make eye contact with me during my journey on a plane.

So here's a quote from him. I said, I just returned from a flight from Hunan province. I might have said, this is the capital for coronavirus. Hang on a thoe, so I might have said, wasn't he filming this for a video? I guess. Okay, so they know exactly what he said. So first he says, I just returned from a flight from Hunan province. I might have said, it's the capital for coronavirus, and then I said,

I don't feel too well. And I looked around. I saw don't feel too well and I looked around I saw the reception of the people they didn't seem too happy about it I don't blame them and I stopped recording and I sat back down in my chair now this cloud should be funny so this this paragraph I kind of struggle with a little bit because it kind of seems like he got up, he said the thing and then everyone was like, oh shit, and that wasn't the reaction that he was expecting? And then he just dejectedly sat back down.

Yeah, and I will say that this is a, this is a genre of prank that I don't understand, which is... No, no, not one bit. Which is the predictable response one. Yeah. Like, um, like, now don't actually look at this on YouTube because it's gonna fuck up your recommendations for the rest of your life. But like YouTube pranksters and stuff like that, there's just a million of these things of like, fake abduction. Kids love it too, they love this shit.

My nephew always watches it and he always tells me about it. I'm like, cool, man, that sounds fucking terrible. I got someone to snatch my girlfriend in a car and pretend that they were abducting her and we filmed it all. And she cried. And she hated it. She thought that she was going to die and then afterwards I was like, ha ha. She was like, you piece of shit. But, um, yeah, I don't understand like when you kind of already know what the outcome of the thing is going to be,

I don't understand where, where the comedy comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes the the th th th to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be a to be a to be a to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thing is going to be, I don't understand where the comedy comes in beyond hey I made a bunch of people on the plane think that they were going to get coronavirus. I think he was expecting some sort of like flying high-esque mayhem. Right? Like the whole thing would just... Yeah, the whole thing, whole plane would just explode and they'd just be like, you know, litter flying in the air and people like with their hands on their heads just shrieking and running back and forth on the aisles. I've never done that. I never will.

Why are people so stupid on planes? I feel like maybe people don't know this, but when you commit a normal crime, it becomes a much more serious crime. So I flew back from Melbourne just the other day and I was on a plane we were about to take off we were literally taxiing out and there were there were three or four guys and they were just being super weird and one of them wouldn't sit down and he said I need to go to the toilet and she's like he told the flight attendant to shut up and she was like.... the the the the.... the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the the the. the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. to to to to to to to to told. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their their their their their their the. the. the. the. t t tttttttttte. tte. te. tte. ttte. tttld the flight attendant to shut up and she was like okay I'm gonna go on I'm calling the captain now. They called the captain we immediately stopped taxiing we reversed back in. They he actually turned the plane around and pulled up and then the federal

police came in and they pulled them all off the plane and the entire process took an hour and a half So don't do that don't do any of this stuff. Don't be stupid on a plane. It's gonna be a federal offense Because you do not want to talk to the fucking federal police they're probably worse than the normal police and we know how bad that is so don't do it. It's not funny. It's just very very very weird the f the f the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. th. th. the f. th. th. th. took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took. took. took. took. took. took. took took took took took took took took took took. took took took took took took took took took took t. took t. to. to. to. to. to took took took took took took took to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to and we know how bad that is. So don't do it. It's not funny. It's just very, very weird to do this thing that you're doing. Stop it. It's also not even like, um, like the thing I remember from traveling overseas like not long after 9-11, like within a couple of years of 9-11 kind of thing was that they had obviously bought a lot of security stuff in in different places and and like they had the signs up in American, do they, sorry, in Australian, is it Australian place or American places where they have the signs that say like no joking? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've seen that everywhere. Don't, don't joke about, because that was the classic thing, like for the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. thoes, thoes, thirty. thirty. thoes, th. th. S. S. S. Ski. S. Ski. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. th. S. th. th. th. th. th. th. S. S. S. th. S. th. S. S. th. S. S. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. S. S. S. S. S. S't joke about because that was the classic thing. Like for the next couple of years there'd be just some dude that's like, oh yeah, no,

you know, not got a bomb in there or anything like that and they're like, well, into the room with you. Lock it down. You're not going to enjoy the next 12 hours of your life. I'm just going to put that right out front. Yeah and I mean I had a thing once where I was getting a flight in Cambron I was going to like Melbourne or something and I was waiting at the gate I'd like checked my bags this is back remember back when people checked bags on planes I still do that I can't afford that shit. Bloody Monopoly guy over here. Mr. Moneybags. Borrowed the monocle from the hippo.

I was going to put all my clothes in seven kilos worth of bag. Yeah and so I'm like waiting at the gate and a thing comes over to loudspeakers that's like Mr. Andrew Law report to the security desk. And I was like, okay. And I came down, they were like, there is a problem with your luggage. And I was like, okay? And they were like, yeah, there is like an unidentified object of vibrating in your luggage. No.

All right. Okay. So first of all, I was going to make this joke and then I immediately thought, no, you know what, you don't always have to take the obvious joke. Let's just see how this plays out. We'll just kind of see where this is going. And I was like, what? And I was like, yeah, you have to go down there and sort it out and like get whatever it is at your bag, yourself. Because we're not touching it. And I'm surprised that I just explode your bag immediately, you know, like took it out

of a t-shirt cannon. But yeah, I went down there and was like, they-s sown. And I was like, but yeah, I went down there and was like, to to to to to to to to to this thing and I had an electric toothbrush and the button had become pressed and I was like, oh, it's my toothbrush and then we're like, cool. And now I have like, you know, rechargeable beard trimmer, clippers thing, which are going away for a bit I will take with me and now I use that fucking, they come with like a little travel plug that you can stick in the charging hole and it stops the button the button the button the button the button from the button from the button from the button from then th from th from th from the button th from th from the from the from the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. theateateateate. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theee. I'm to to to toeateateateateeateeateeateeeateeateeeateeeeateateeeeeate. So. I'm the. they come with like a little travel plug that you can stick in the charging hole and it stops the button from being able to be pressed. And I was like, you know what, I use that now because I don't want to get called back down to the fucking place.

But again, nobody actually checks bags in anymore. No one, Theo. Yeah. Okay, well, yeah. But you would hate to be the person that just like delayed the plane due to Dildo suspicion. So, um, asked why he performed this stunt, this guy said, uh, well, it was really just to create a viral video to get something that, in my opinion, would have gone on to six bars, a Toronto social media site. Sorry, what is this? What's happening in Canada? He's got SightS. I saw that shit on Six Buzz. Sight said on the big time.

Gonna be as big as Brian Adams on Six Buzz. Yeah, really. My ticket to the stars, Drake's gonna get in contact with me. Really looking to get played on nine news to Womba. This is, uh, so he says he wanted to create a video that viewers would watch and share. He added he has done something similar before. Once he stood up on a plane and made an announcement saying little Wayne had just dropped his new album and then Potock said he stopped recording and sat down According to Patok that video did go viral in what did it though possible world? Is this like the people who get like 150 likes on a tweet and then they say like wow this is really long up?

Yeah here's my sound cloud. Um, except this guy literally has a sound cloud. Yes, he definitely does. Let me tell you, if you care to look at the news stories for this, this man looks exactly as you would expect. Asked if Monday's stunt was just a little different given that the coronavirus has killed more than 400 people and sick and thousands, Pataka agreed. Yeah, it definitely is different in retrospect thinking about it, he said. Well that's bad, right? But on the upside, it has given like millions of office workers across the

entire world the same joke to tell whenever anyone coughs in the office now. That's so good. I assume that's just the joke that's being said everywhere. Yeah. Well we needed something new because like bird flu. Bird flu is like old. It's close. Yeah. We don't have SARS anymore. Yeah. But flu SARS. These are not things. Oh fuck I had a legionaires disease outbreak in the hospital I used to work in, so yes. Yaks, dead on. Well, hold on Lucy.

He continues, it wasn't the best thing to do. Me, as an entertainer, we always look for a reaction from people. I didn't get the reception I was looking for. I didn't get the reaction that I was looking for. A woman seated across from him said, you're joking, right? He replied, yes, of course. So... So... That's the first thing you want to do is just back down immediately, whatever anyone questions you in anything.

Drop the ruse entirely. Oh God. But he did get a reaction from a masked flight attendant who marched him to to the back the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to the the to to the the the the the the the to the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th the the the thea thea thea thea' thea' thea' the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ruse entirely. Oh God. But he did get a reaction from a masked flight attendant who marched him to the back of the plane and put him in a row by himself and made him wear gloves and a mask and he did get a reaction from the Peel Reasonable Police. Reasonable Police. The Peel MF 7 reasonable police. There's the there's the episode title right there. Because they arrested him and charged him. He said he felt guilty when the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their to to to to to their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te right there. Because they arrested him and charged him. He said he felt guilty when he found out that the plane was turning around and he had ruined the vacation plans of 243 people. That bothered me, he said.

He said he never intended to induce fear. Mmm. Okay, all right. Okay. Just enjoy the damn plane ride. What is wrong with people? Don't really feel like this guy is kind of in tune with human thought or emotion. Like, I don't know if he knows. No, and I'll just give us this final bit here and say, so he says, I'm extremely sorry, I am completely remorseful to everybody that I damage their plans to West Jet, I am apologetic, very sorry for the situation ahead.

Me being an entertainer, there are things to say and things not to say. This was probably something in retrospect, I should not have said. This really just surely solidifies for us all that anybody who aspires to be an an the the the the the to be a a a the the the to be a the the the to be a to be a the to be a to be a to be a the to be a to be a to be a the to be a to be to be that anybody who aspires to be an entertainer is a psychopath. Starting a sentence with me being an entertainer is it's like the as a mother of this genre. Yes, yes, yes. I did also really like this story from the ABC News in America. Did you know they have one now as well? Oh, sort of like a satellite sort of thing. Yeah, I assume it's a spin-off. Some sort of regional ABC News. The police are seeking to identify a young man who was caught on cell phone camera

wearing a yellow medical mask and a sign that said, I have the coronavirus, as he sprayed disinfected on items at a Walmart in Jolly at Sunday, causing nearly $10,000 in damage. He was telling everyone the same thing, that he was protecting them from the virus, said Tony Proke's customer. What? How...

What is the thought? What is the thought? Uh, not sure, really. Okay. So police said, two men in their 20s walked into the store in the 1400 block of Route 59, one of them put on a yellow surgical mask. He was also wearing a handmade sign on his back that read, Caution, I have the coronavirus. Police said he then began spraying a substance later determined to be Lysol on produce, clothing,

and health and beauty items. The prank was meant to scare people about the novel coronavirus that has killed hundreds in China and infected thousands before spreading to other countries. What is wrong with you? And once again, he is facing felony charges. The store has to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thoffic, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. And, the. And, t t t t t t t t t t t t t t te. t th th th thea. th th th th th charges. The store has to be professionally cleaned and dozens of items are thrown out. Walmart estimated the loss of produce at more than $7,300 with an additional cleanup cost of more than 2,400, police said. But also who gives a fuck about Walmart losing $10,000?

Oh yeah, don't care about it at all. This is much funnier than the plain one. True. This one, you just see about it. This is much funnier than the plain one. This one you just see a guy going around doing a bunch of property damage to Walmart and the other one you don't get to go to Jamaica. Way less funny. I think we can all agree. Speaking of funny, I know I know we're over now but I really got to ram this take

through. Can we, can we please, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho tho. the. the. tho. tho. thoe thoomo. thoom. tho. tho. tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the. the. t. ta. tea''a'a'a'a'a'ea'er. toea'er. toea'a'er. toea'er. to thea'a'a'a'a' this take through. Can we, can we, can we please just... Shove it up me, go on. Shove this take up me, go on. Yeah, I've got to pack this take into the bottom of my gigantic take musket. You blend it both. Yep. Just blasted out of there. This is from Rush Limbaugh and he has a take on the coronavirus, would you believe? Folks, this coronavirus thing, I want to try to put this in perspective for you. It looks like the coronavirus is being weaponized as yet another element to bring down Donald Trump.

Now, I want to tell you the truth about the coronavirus. He gets interrupted, I think immediately by whoever he's talking to here. You think I'm wrong about this. You think I'm missing it by saying that's yeah I'm dead right on this. The coronavirus is the common cold folks. The drive by media hype of this thing as a pandemic is the Andromeda strain as oh my god if you get it you're dead. Do you know what the I think the survival rate is 98%. 98% of the people get the coronavirus survive. It's a respiratory system virus. It is probably a Chicom laboratory experiment that is in the process of being weaponized.

All superpower nations weaponized bio-weapons. They experiment with them. The Russians, for example, have weaponized fentanyl. Now, fentanyl is also not what it is represented to be. Galaxy brain. So... And just a check, is this coming from a notorious prescription drug addict to Rush Limbaugh? So it probably knows the thing or two, but...

Yep, okay. I have nothing to hold on to in this entire ride. To be perfectly honest, there is no train of thought here. Kissing my fingers like an Italian chef. Love it. Yep. And as we all know, if only 98% of people who contract a highly, highly contagious disease die, well that's pretty much nobody. Yeah, pretty much no one. You know how two and a hundred people die of common cold, which is also being weaponized

by the Russians? Whatever's going on, I know by Chinese. To take down Trump. Somehow. Sure, we're not even going to explain like what the link is there. Just roll with it. Yeah, it's supposed to to take down Trump, because you know how he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, pretty, pretty, th, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty thi, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, th's th. It's to, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, th. It's th. It roll with it. Yeah, it's supposed to take down Trump because you know how he's always going out up with China and the coronavirus outbreak makes China look good. Yeah. Well, that's it for us folks. Thank you for joining us. If you would like an extra episode of the show every week or hey, even if you just would like to support us, you know? Keep us ad free. We're going to the the th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to th th th th th to to th th th th th th th th th th to to to th to tho to to to to thi thi that tho tho tho tho- tho- tho- tho- thi's always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th thi's thin thin, thin, tho' tho' thooooooooooooooooooooo' toooooooooooooooooooooooo' thooooo' th. th. Because th just would like to support us you know keep us ad free all those ads we're into play yeah keep us out free we're gonna get ads

on if you don't support us if you don't support the show by going to Patreon dot com slash Wunter Vista putting down five dollars a month we will be playing the solid minute of slurs in every episode remains it just new slurs every week like every half way through the episode you know episode remains it. I don't think we're going to do it. Like every halfway through the episode, you know? Just rattle the new there. Oh God. So don't make us do that.

Please don't make us do that. I will just say the anti-crime pass of the week, please don't do crimes on the plane. Don't do the plan. It's a sacred zone for sitting down and enjoying Mankine's most beautiful creation I'll tell you this the airlines are doing everything they can to ruin all of the aspects of air travel. We don't need to do any additional stuff to each other. That's right. Just like people be swallowed up by the majestic hippo of the sky. That's right. That's right. That's it it it. that's it. that's it. that's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th the the the the the thea. thea. their thea. their their their their their their their their their their their any additional stuff to each other. That's right. Just let people be swallowed up by the majestic hippo of the sky. That's right. That's it everybody. We'll see you next week.

Bye. you