Boonta Vista - EPISODE 139: Ted Cruz Control

Episode Date: March 10, 2020

Lucy, Andrew and Ben look at the Australian media's self-perpetuating toilet paper frenzy, Ted Cruz's disgusting beard, Joe Biden's love of rap-rock, and the awful tattoos of Chet Hanks. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello, welcome to Plunavista, episode 139. I am Ben and I am here at the bottom of a deep, lightless pit. I'm not sure how I ended up in this pit, how long I've been here for and whether I'll ever leave, but I can tell you this much, it's real dark in here. Somewhere to my left, fumbling around in the distance, scrabbling for purchase on the cold rock. It's Lucy. Hello Lucy. Hello, that I. Hello, that I. Hello, th th th th th th th th th th th to. Hello, th th th to to to to th to to th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi to to to thu to to thu thu to to thu to thu thu to thu to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thu thu thu thu thu thu thu the thu thu the thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu it's real dark in here. Somewhere to my left, fumbling around in the distance, scrabbling for purchase on the cold rock. It's Lucy. Hello, Lucy.

Hi, I'm not scared. Feeling good. Nice down here. Yeah, it's kind of your ideal place. It's temperature controlled. There's no light. You're allowed. All right. loud, along with your thoughts. Yep. Can I go to sleep? We get it. I used to be emo, okay?

I don't need to keep hammering away at it. Used to be. That's interesting. On the other side of the pit, taking advantage of the acoustics in here by loudly singing informer by snow, it's Andrew. Hey Andrew. I'm practicing mindfulness by singing snow by Informer and there is nobody down here to cancel me for doing my Jamaican patois. What a song. Hey anyone got a guess about what that's about? It's a banger. Yeah it's a well it's about informing to the

police and how you need to be shot by Snow in the form of a licky boom boom now that's licking a shot a boom boom boom boom he's shooting an informer is that what that song is I thought you're talking about some obscure indie band that I was just gonna pretend I knew what you were talking about this is what gets it it's a little bum bum down so I got you this I probably noticed look a learning experience. Has anybody seen the clip of Tom Hanks's son, Chet Hanks, aka... You've made that one.

What's his rap name? Have you ever seen Chet Hanks before then? No, no, I only know the other of the Hanks boys. The one is Colin Hanks. Colin, Colin, Hanks, who's in, who's in movies and that kind, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, and, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, um, and, and, and, and, um, and, and, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thom, that, thom, um, um,anks. Colin, yeah. Colin Hanks who's in who's in movies and that kind of stuff. And then there's Chet Hanks, his other son, who is a rapper. Oh no I have seen that. And he also he also has, have you seen his tattoos? He's got like, incredible and I don't mean in a good way tattoos he's got like the big it's it's kind of it's kind of confusing trying to figure out exactly what's

going on on the tattoos they look they look unfortunately like I got to say to me some of the the least appealing kinds of tattoos especially as I get older ones that look extremely planned so the more it looks like you had your entire chest piece and both half sleeves and everything 100% drawn out before you ever started getting tattoos. Just planning on getting a sleeve, bro. Yeah, it's just kind of, I don't know, like, you know, that's, that's fine if that's what you're there for. But it also, it takes away a bit, I think, from what is one of the kind of nice things about tattoos, which is the spontaneity factor of, I'm going to get something dumb on purpose, because I'm just living in the moment, not a cell phone in sight. I'm looking at his tattoos. They look like what you would see on every gym

bro in your local suburban gym. Can you try to describe what you're seeing here for the listener when we talk about Chethazes tattoos? Definitely seen a lot of shaded clouds. There's a very large Illuminati Triangle eye in the center of his chest. What else is here? Some unreadable script, a heart with the name Michaela Spelt's an interesting way. I think it says I am who I am the weird unintelligible script. Oh, I think you're right. It took me ages. I finally started it as mindfulness. I was like, oh, I'm not that. I am who I am who I am. Chet Hanks. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Un. Un. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. tr. I tr. tr. true. true. true. true. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. I was like, oh, I'm not that.

I am who I am. I am who I am. Chet Hayes. Chet Hanks. And also, there's an alpha and an omega symbol on each kind of shoulder. That's go. Definitely some Latin in there, some Latin text. You know what you're seeing.

His sleeves. It's a classic kind of bro-style mishmash of like there's sort of Roman and ancient Greek stuff and then there's like some ancient Egyptian stuff and some Latin and some Roman Catholic kind of stuff. I like it when someone has just gone, I'm picking things 100% on the basis of these look cool and make me think of the move the thi. I the kind. It it th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It's the classic. It's the classic the classic the classic the the the classic the the classic the the the the the classic the classic the the classic the classic the the classic the classic the the the the c-it. It's thi. It's their their their th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the on the basis of, these look cool and make me think of the movie, Oh no, I've forgotten it. The really, the really dumb movie with the two brothers, Boondog Saints. Oh yeah. Boondock Saints. Boondock Saints.

Boondog Saints. So there is a great clip if you would care to look it up folks, of Chet Hanks at like the Golden Globes or the Emmys or some shit, doing an extended riff in like Jamaican patois. And it is perplexing. This year's Golden Globes. There's also a video of him talking about how essentially cultural appropriation isn't real and what he say about white culture. Do you remember this? Oh well he was like what if a black person tried to appropriate white culture by calling it Ron Brow and going snowboarding in Colorado?

So it's fine to make fun in the sky, is my point. The Latin on his shoulders. How did you name your son Chet? He's got fortune favors the bolt. Which is the cheesiest shit. Chet Hayes tells anyone who is bitching about appropriation to quote, appropriate these nuts. Damn. Did he actually say that?

Yes, he did. Congratulations to Tom Hanks. Damn. Did he actually say that? Yes. Oh, yes he did. Congratulations to Tom Hanks. And yeah, so that's, you know, that's just part of the proud, rich heritage of music that I'm singing down in this pit. It's beautiful stuff. And I'm happy to be here, frankly. I could have used the torch on my phone to kind of look around see if there was any kind of exit. But I my last 1% of battery to twit my do to ASB shitting and farting and now it's flat. I wonder how many likes you got in that bad boy. Can't see phone's dead. That's a shame I better do well I bet that did numbers. So what's going on everybody what's going down this week in the world? I lost my thought. Thinking about Tom Hanks's terrible son all the time. I tell you what I'm thinking about down in this hole. Where are we going to get some toilet paper from when we need to shit? Nowhere in Australia that's for sure.

Because everyone has gone crazy with toilet paper? Have you guys got toilet paper at my local store. It has been ransacked. There have been the videos of... I will note, as Lucy herself noted on Twitter, women be shopping. Because it is all women in these videos having like wrestling, like screaming at each other as they attempt to wrestle like a 16 pack of toilet paper away from another 50 year old woman. And what are you trying to say? What's the broad point you're making here? The women do be shopping. That's true. That is a broad point. Also there's no toilet paper here. It's spread well past Australia. I couldn't get any. I had to order it on Amazon. Please don't cancel me. I have no choice.

But now I have so much toilet paper. I'm just living the dream out here. You're using more of it than you normally would just luxuriating it how much you have. That's right. I'm just pictures of, I start from the head and move downwards. I've seen pictures of a friend of the show, Dan Nolan, just posted a photo on Twitter of like a, like a palette of toilet paper being taken into a Woolworth's under protection from two armed police officers. Jesus. Very cool, very normal, and I've also seen pictures of stores that have signs up saying, sorry, we can't have the toilet paper out here anymore because you people are freaks.

You people are crazy toilet paper freaks. And we will now be enforcing a limit of one packet of toilet paper per customer. But like, it's very strange. I would like to hear, use guys' takes on, I guess, like, the role that the media has played in ginning this whole thing up. See, I haven't seen this, because I don't know why everyone in Australia went crazy. We have our own issues out here in Hawaii. Hawaii has a very low trigger on like panic stuff because we're in the middle of the ocean, but maybe it's the same over there.

I think this whole thing is a hundred million percent the media's fault. It's been driving me insane all week watching news outlets like the same outlet will run a story the first time one store runs out of toilet paper and be like, oh my god We're running out. That's it. It's so weird who did this we did Yeah, yeah, because I mean like I I absolutely had the had the moment of like Oh, I wonder if this is going to turn out to be a problem at some point because we have not been panic buying toilet paper But you're seeing all these photos of hey no stores have toilet paper in stock, because as soon as it comes in, people are buying like shopping trolleys full, like overloaded with toilet paper. And yeah, and I had the curiosity of, I kind of want to go down to my local supermarket,

which I haven't been down to in several days or whatever, to go and see if there actually is any toilet paper. And I was down for an unrelated reason yesterday had had a look and lo and behold, entire aisle completely empty. But yeah, definitely the whole thing of, hey some people are panic buying, here is some footage of some people from like a cost code, you know, with several people in a line with their thing full of toilet paper. And obviously that makes a lot of people go, oh well if everybody's panic buying toilet paper, the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, their, and I's th. thi, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and I's, their. And, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi's thi's toy. And, tote. tote. tote. tote. tote. tote. tote. tttoye. toye. toye, oh, well if everybody's panic buying toilet paper, there's not going to be any toilet paper left for me. I'd better go buy some toilet paper. I'd better buy five years worth at one time.

Where are people going to put it all? I know, where are you keeping this? Get your fucking toilet duble duble dux? That's luxury. Like a big toilet paper fort for the kids. I mean that's actually kind of cool. Coronivirus. Like big building blocks, that's awesome. Big toilet paper fort. My toilet paper pyramid, mm-hmm. I saw, I was looking at an article before this like, it was wea'lite.

It was weirdly unrelated to the that use, who gives a crap, the delivery one, had a week before the panic started, had thought they were like, they went to order some, they're entering in the quantity thing, thinking they were going, I would like 48 rolls, please. And instead they got 48 boxes. So they had two pallets of their house, a week before their tho' their tho' tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho-s, tho-s, tho-s, tho-a, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, th, tho, tho, tho, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thoua, thin, their, thooooo, their, and there's just all these photos of them like building stuff out of the boxes they're like built a giant throne and stuff that's actually kind of dope they have since been selling it for charity which seems quite nice well done to it. That's nice and I guess the the silliest thing about all of this is that from the supermarket level I feel really bad for everybody who works at a supermarket and has just had to be dealing with this because you know working in working in

retail working in a grocery store as Ben can tell us I'm sure not that fun of the best of times. Maybe it's moderately fun at the absolute best of times I can't say but yeah being hassled by a bunch of people losing their minds about toilet paper. And actually having to go in, like I've seen footage from social media this week of like supermarket managers having to go in and like thrust themselves between women like shrieking at each other and like assaulting each other over rolls the toilet paper. And in fairness, most of the time it seems to be someone who has like an absurd amount

of toilet paper in a trolley. They've already filled an entire trolley and then have a bunch of things piled on top and they have a second person like holding the things in place so they stop falling off the trolley. And another customer has tho tho have one of those and taken one. And it's turned into a screaming match and wrestling and people hitting each other and all sorts of stuff. And some poor son of a bitch has to get in there and be like, what are you doing? Please stop. Absolutely ridiculous. But then you see this footage from like the warehouses and stuff and they're like,

there's no shortage of toilet paper. You're just buying it all immediately when it arrives. Like we're shipping it out as fast as we can. There's tons of it. There's tons of it. There's tons of it. Just relax. Just chill out a little bit.

Just relax. weird manifestation of a panic. It's a weird item to be taking. Well yeah like I think it did after a while it extended to things like you know dried pasta and stuff like that which is more reasonable as a thing to stock your house with in case you need to be quarantined for a while you would think that more of the panic would extend to like prepper type stuff like canned goods long life things bottled, but no I need my bog roll. Apparently the the toilet paper thing didn't even like start here. There were like a couple of weeks before a week or so beforehand maybe

there are also toilet paper shortages in Hong Kong as well and then they instituted like buying limits and stuff over there. But there was that started because there were these like you know, the the, like, like like like like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. the, the, the, the, the, th. th. the, th. thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. the, the, I need, I need, I need stuff over there. But there was that started because there were these like, you know, fucking people sharing Facebook posts that are bullshit being like, oh, because of coronavirus, all of the people that work in toilet paper factories are not going to be able to come into work, so we're not going to get toilet paper anymore. And then that idea somehow got over here. Yeah, it's a real weird one. But like, I don't know if people understand.

It's real bad news for the dick-sacking factories out there. Everyone is going to leave at home at the dick-sucking factory. Well, I mean, I did see a thing with somebody who was saying, hey, when, you know, next time a libertarian says something to you about rational actors, just point to this. Just point to this as like, we're just, I think at this point a lot of Western societies have been very conditioned to just only ever look out for yourself as an individual before your community as a whole. That's all right.

And so as soon as that happens, everybody's just like, oh, I gotta get mine. My family needs to shit more than yours, does. There's all these people, like, there's all these people who are very reasonably saying, like, you know, there's no toilet paper shortage or anything like that. People are just doing this whole weird thing. And for that reason, you now can't go down and buy a normal amount of toilet paper. You can't go down and be like, I need eight rolls of toilet paper. I need a normal human amount of toilet paper for a week or whatever. You can't do it.'s all because people are swept up in this like very strange but-related mania. I would feel at this point embarrassed

buying toilet paper at all. I don't even want to go into the toilet paper aisle. I just would like to... I'm basically we're gonna run down to the wire so that I don't have the experience of walking in there and trying to to reassure people. No I'm not I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the th. I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the to the the to to to the the the toldld. told. their me me me. their me. their their the. their the. the the the. the the the. tolde. tolde. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to to to totry to reassure people. No, I'm not going crazy. I just need some for my butt. I just need like a normal amount, please. What will you be wiping with instead? I'm going straight into the shower. This is what I've read and I don't like the idea of it. I don't like thinking about having to do that. It's unpleasant. Now, all of our like friends are, you know, big time smugge latte sipping lefties so their their their their their their their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What, th. What, thi. What thi. What, thi. What, thi. What, thi. What, thi. What, thi. What, thi. What thi. What thiiiiiiii. What thiiii. What thi. What will will will will thi. What thi, sipping lefties, so they've all got who gives a crap subscription so they all already get bulk toilet paper buy a subscription so if I run out I've got like five friends that live within a hundred meters of us where I'm just be like please please give us toilet paper. Just get a bidet. We've all got to get bidet. Maybe t week, is you're allowed to buy a bidet.

You're allowed to steal the amount of money that a bidet costs? Not a lot. Not what that is. No, they cheap? I think they're pretty cheap and they just attached to your ordinary toilet? Well, yeah, you can get. So when we first had babies, Eleanor was young and idealistic. Wanted a bidet? No, well, she did cloth nappies for ages.

So, she did, she wants to do cloth nappies because obviously nappies not great. You take them off and they go straight in the landfill and there they remain forever. And a lot of people are also very, very quick to like pull the nappy off and change it if there's like the tiniest bit of piss in it, despite the fact that they can absorb and hold frankly monstrous amounts of piss. Right, you don't have to tell me how much piss you can get in a diaper. But so we had like a we did cloth nappies and so that means that when a baby takes her shit in the nappy, you can't just throw that in the washing machine. You got to get most of that shit off there somehow. So she she bought a thing online which I then, um, I did some amateur plumbing and attached to our toilet and

basically you attach this thing to like the the sort of water supply that comes in on your toilet. You can sort of interrupt that and put this little hose on there with a handle, little spray gun type thing, but it's like quite high pressure. So then you like basically stand over type thing, but it's like quite high pressure. So then you like basically stand over the toilet holding a nappy covered in shit in it and then hit it with like a high pressure hose. And I gotta say, while being effective, I will say the amount of time that I wound up with bits of shit straight back on me was more, I'm gonna say more than

I wanted ideally. How much did you want? Less than, less than 2% of the time, I don't know. Yeah. Because look, having babies you're gonna get some shit on you. There's no two ways about it. That's true. It's the first thing they they tell you. We'll find out that you're pregnant. Somebody is going to shit on you. I got peed on like four days ago. This is not new to me. None of this is new to me.

Haven't we all. Well, you don't have to tell me what it's like to get peed on. Yeah. No, it's all like that. But apparently, that is one of the styles of home-installed bidet that you can have, is that you just attach the hose and you blast your own arsoil. I don't know about that. That kind of kills the luxury of it for me. Yeah, you want one of those Japanese precision sharpshooter ones, the little robot that knows which where your asshole is. The soundtrack that sounds like a waterfall so no one can hear you shitting. Yeah, now we're talking. In my experience, the ambient noise thing doesn't really work. It just combines the sounds of you shitting with, you know, a burglary or whatever. Yeah, it's also just announcing that you're shitting either way.

You might as well just have a recording of a bad voice just going. I'm not shitting. I'm not shitting. This is just a piss. This is just a piss. Yeah. Ah, the I'm not shitting alarm. Excellent.

Definitely not shitting. A lot of questions about whether or not I'm shitting an answered by the... I'm not shitting alarm. So that has been the coronavirus update, 100% centered around toilet paper panic and what we will be cleaning our assholes with. None of us have the coronavirus just yet. Come to the apocalypse. Not yet. I feel like I'm pretty safe in Cambera. Probably.

Surprisingly low population. Very spread out. I have the the bougy luxury of just being able to work from home a hundred percent of the time if I need to they they sent around a thing a work that was like we're gonna start getting everyone to just like work one day from home like in anticipation of their being in case there is a quarantine thing at some point because we want to know that people are able there is a quarantine thing at some point because we want to know that people are able to work from home so we'll start getting

everybody to work from home one day a week and then write a thing to say if there was like anything that impacted you or what you weren't able to get done and then we'll see if we can resolve that you know before for all this sort of stuff but I already worked from home one day a week so I'm like like like like th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho thi thi thi thi tho tho the the the the the tho their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the to the to tooooooooooooooo te te. toge the the thoooo the the the the the before for all this sort of stuff but I already work from home one day a week so I'm like it's fine definitely works I could be working from home more I could do it all the time if you like I think I'm gonna be fine because there's only been you know a couple of cases of Brisbane and my jobs the ones that I do all involve me getting lots and lots of different people to a very confined environment. Sounds good. Yeah, I'm looking forward to.

Ideally you want that person to like, um, rub their eyes and face and then reach into their wallet and hand you like a $10 bill. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah, that'd be perfect. That'd be perfect. Yeah. Rub it on your face. Or then I want to repeat that process about a hundred times a week. Hey, speaking of coronavirus, can I read you a little article here?

The headline here, this is from Daily Beast, Ted Cruz, self-quarantine after interaction with coronavirus infected CPAC attendee. Senator Ted Cruz, announced on Sunday evening that he will be self-quarantine at home in Texas after learning the other brief conversation in a handshake with someone at CPAC who later tested positive for the coronavirus. Not experiencing any symptoms,

but I feel fine and healthy Cruz said in his statement, given that the interaction was 10 days, that the interaction was for less than minute and that I have no current symptoms, the medical authorities advised me that the odds of transmission for the other individual to me were extremely low, nevertheless out of abundance of caution and because of how frequently I interact with my constituents as part of my job, nice humble brag. And to give everyone peace of mind, I've decided to remain at my home in Texas this week until a full 14 days of past since the C-back interaction. President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence also attended the Conservative political action conference late last month, but the American Conservative Union has stated

that the infected person did not have any interaction with either of them. RIP Ted Cruz. But apparently, well I read a thing saying that one of the sort of senior organizers of the thing was like, oh it turned out that I did interact with the infected coronavirus person and shook their hand and stuff. And he also shook Donald Trump's hand later on the week. I heard this. Imagine if Donald Trump gets the coronavirus.

That'd be pretty funny. What a twice. I feel like he wouldn't care very well. He's one of those people that it would be a bad time for. But have you considered that Donald Trump's body is like a monument to health, robust health? He only eats Big Max and drinks hand sanitizer and his body's finite source of power is I believe still like 90 something percent charge. God I love that so much. Just what an insane belief to have. The human body is a battery.

That by exercising you are using up your body's finite sources of power. He's like the guy from, uh, so good. Dr. Strange love, the vital human liquids guy. It's exactly the same belief. This is like the first thing I saw this morning was the Ted Cruz story and I like rolled over and told her to George. And then she like started laughing and then stopped.

And I was like, are we allowed to think this is funny that Ted Cruz might have coronavirus? I think yes. I'm going to to right? Sure, it's killed a lot of people. It's probably going to ruin a bunch of lives. But it is funny if Ted Cruz gets it? Yes. I'm going to say yes. Well, all right, let's break that down slightly more. I can say with all certainty it will be funny if Ted Cruz gets coronavirus but will it

be funny if Ted Cruz dies from coronavirus. That's where I draw the line. That's a tough one. A little bit of suffering is funny. I think if he didn't have kids it would be funny. Does that cruel? Yes. That seems good. I don't think his children should be devastated by the loss of their weird-looking dad. There's about to be some like really angry posts posts. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th th th th th th th th th th. That's th. That's th. th. th. thi the coo the co-c. the co-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-crue is the is thecoooooooo' the is should be devastated by the loss of their weird-looking dad There's about to be some like really angry posts really angry posts on the child-free subreddit. Oh So if we don't if we've made the conscious choice to this podcast. Also, yeah, it's a big overlap for us. I am also just as a side note infuriated by Ted Cruz's beard. It's disgusting. It's just not helping him. Like he's clearly had a

realization at some point that he is an amorphous wet man with a ridiculous face that doesn't hold shape. And then he's gone, you know what? It's time to become a man, I'm growing a beard. And it just looks like he has glued it onto his face. Like, it's, oh, I can't stand it. Every time I see it, I'm like, you're lying. Everyone can tell, too, Uncut. Nice, great film. And because I was like, oh God

bless those boys, you know? And there was the sketch in that one where we were sort of commenting on how like some of them, some of them are quite multi-layered. So there will be ones where people involved think that they are part of the thing, but there is actually a larger thing happening at their own expense. Like there is a sketch in that where a group of them think they're going to do a photo shoot and they're in a limo. But actually, they've organized the limo to just drive out to the middle of this road and stop, at which point some of the other th........... And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And, th. And, th. And, the th. And, th. And, the the th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, tho, tho, the, their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, they. And, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the other guys have dumped some beehives through the sunroof of the limo. Wow, iconic. And locked the doors so that they can't get out. And then in true

lunatune style they've dumped a whole bunch of marbles outside each door so when they do finally get out they all immediately fall over on the Marbles Home Alone style. Oh, that is good, which is very funny. But with this other one, they did one with Aaron McGeehee, the guy who keeps knocking his front tooth out, where they get him a much more innocent time. They have him dressed in like full, fake, Middle Eastern style garb. Oh, this is so mean. That's one of the meanest things I've ever seen. He's got all the makeup on. He gets browned up and everything.

And they're like, yeah, so we're gonna do a hidden camera thing. We're getting a taxi cab and we're going to the airport. And we're making comments like we're going to do another 9-11 to freak the cab driver out. But actually, the cab driver is Jay Chandra Kassar from Supertroopers, Broken Lizard and stuff, you know? So he's in on it, they're pulling a prank where they're going to then pull a gun on these guys and terrify them and everything. But then there's a whole other third tier to this, which is that all of the other people in the cast and crew have all shaved off their

pubs in order to provide the hair for the fake beard that he has on through this whole sketch. They don't make entertainment like this anymore. There's so much, there's so much planning ahead of time that goes into getting a bunch of pubs into somebody's mouth. Is this related to Ted Cruz's the just thinking about Jackass too? This is what Ted Cruz's beard looks like to me. Ted Cruz's beard, it looks like... It looks like... Aaron McGeehee's pubeard, I would have been right there with you. This is actually one of the few Jackass things I've actually seen, somehow. Oh, there the thike. It their. It their. It their. It their. It is. It is. It is. It is. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's beard. It's beard. It's beard. It's beard. It's beard. It's beard. It's beard. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's beard. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their's their's their's their's their's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's t t t t t t t t t t t t the the t the the the the the the the the the the the t the face. It doesn't look like the hair is from his body. It looks like it's from

another place altogether. He has dark hair, but his beard is like the same color. It's not even like, my beard is a bunch of colors. My beard is like black, it's got like kind of red in the sides. There's a big streak of gray coming through at the front and stuff. Ted Cruz's beard, however, it isn't like, hey, my hair is dark and my beard is gray, it's like my hair is dark and my beard is the same color as my skin. It's a patchwork. It's got two gray patches in it that are perfectly symmetrical on his face but not connected to each other? Like, uh, their skin graphs from his thia so meticulously shaped, but it's shaped in a way that's just not quite natural either. It's very weird. It's terrible. I was commenting on this recently that, like, it's been the sort

of 10-year catch-up for conservative guys to realize that most men look better with a beard. Yeah and they all started getting them. Oh because now there's enough distance from it being you know hipster, purist or a metrassexual guy. Yeah yeah the same way that it's for some reason still a sort of like a culture war insult to say that someone's a latte-sipping lefty despite the fact that the fact th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all the same same same same same same same same same same same same same the same same same same the same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same way the same same same same same way the same same same same same the same same way the same way that it's for some reason still a sort of like a culture war insult to say that someone's a latte sipping lefty despite the fact that like nobody on the planet drinks like will buy a coffee from somewhere that is not just that's a that's a normal coffee in Australia. That's a standard coffee what

you're talking about? You go to you go to a takeaway place and you say I would like one coffee and they go okay and they give like like like like like like a like a like a like a the like a the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the................................................................ the. the. the. the. the. the. the.. t............................................. the... the. the. the. the. the. the. takeaway place and you say, I would like one coffee and they go, okay, and they give you like a flat white or a latte or whatever. That's your standard coffee. Which I had the same thing and I don't wish to learn any different. Yes, that's very true. So for some reason the idea that you can insult people on the basis of buying a co-a. But yeah, like dog shit. They're the only men who aren't improved by having a beard. Look at Donald Trump Jr.'s beard. Oh God, he looks like fucking shit. I was looking at that video he put up this morning where he's saying that he should debate

Hunter Biden, where it has all these awkward cutaways to like a group of people in their 70s laughing, but it's like three people laughing at his jokes. It's very weird. But yeah fucking awful someone just has to tell him hey you don't have to do the 80s looks painted off executive slick back hair thing anymore you are not like a real estate developer from the 80s it's very strange I feel like we've spoken about this before but you know the thing where there's like that marga thing of sharing the photo of Trump where he'd shaved his head and had a huge beard that just have captions that are just like, how sick would it be if he did this? How bad would it be if our president looked this cool? Please President Trump shave your head and grow a beard, you'd look dope.

Well, it's so much of that like weird projection. So much of the like, um, it's it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's weird, it's weird, it's weird, it's weird, it's weird, it's weird, it's weird, th, th, thi. the the the their their thi, thi, their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. the. the. theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, their, theat, the. their, their, their, their, there's so much of that like weird projection. So much of the like, it's weird how many people have an understanding of Donald Trump as being like really masculine and heroic and all of that sort of stuff. But in a way where they've done all of the imagining themselves. Where the, it's like, it's like there's the real Donald Trump. There's like big, O-fish, out of shape, makeup wearing, weird hair. You know, I don't want to shake hands with people because I'll get germs. Exercise is bad for you, Donald Trump. Prissy, gossipmongering Donald Trump.

And then there's all these people like what's his name who does the the the cartoons? The guy does the Ben Garrison? Ben Garrison who does all those cartoons with Trump's always like buff and yoked and like incredibly wise and calm and instead of like catty you know. I love Ben Garrison cartoons they're always like a picture of a perfect world it's like AOC and she's got like huge titties and she's like would you like ten free beers? She's like using a

giant gun with a hammered sickle on it to like fire marijuana directly into your butthole it's the dream. It's the dream. It's so good. I love all of those ones that are meant to make socialism look bad. They're like, oh, welcome to Free Cocktail Island, where you get health care and marijuana from the government. For all the women I hate are just so sexy. Yeah. For some reason even, Nancy Pelosi is busty. Look, I'm just dropping some images into the chat there about some speculative politician beards.

Oh God, how did you get these? These are just from his private collection. I typed in Bernie with. Let's make the Jeb Bush one, the artwork. The first recommendation before like Bernie with the strokes, was Bernie with a beard, which I love. Bernie, I don't think is improved by a beard. Bernie, with huge knockers.

That's what we need. No, I don't think so. It doesn't work for him. That will build a broad coalition if Bernie had a huge pair of noks. I think part of the reason that Bernie is not the that that that that that thi bu bu bu bu bu but the that that that the that that that that that that thi b. thi thi thi the thi thi the the thi, thi, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their b. their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the. theeeeat. theeat. theat. theat. theeeat. th. th. th. theeeeeeeee. the. thi. thi, I think part of the reason that Bernie is not particularly improved by a theoretical beard is because like his, his whole thing is like already completely divorced from image and like, you know, being cool or winning people over with anything, it's just I've been saying the same thing for decades and I am like your crotchety old granddad. Like, there's no part of it that requires him to be like aesthetically pleasing to anyone. Mm-hmm. In fact, I would say that that probably even runs counter to his message if Bernie was like

incredibly well groomed, had a nice comb over, you know, maybe imagine if he dyed his hair black. Died his hair black got like capped teeth and shit, you know? Guy liner, put some guy liner on Bernie. Yeah, you got, um, you got like widened cap teeth like Matt Dillon and there's something about Mary. Oh, yeah, and like had really expensive clothes and shoes and shit instead of just like the one suit he's been wearing for 25 years. I would like to see it with whatever those, you know those like posture correcting harnesses? I just want to see Burdick walking around like freakishly upright. God, those things look uncomfortable. Don't make me. Don't make me. God those things look uncomfortable. Don't make me to wear one. I don't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, that, tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. the. the. thooooooo. the. the. th it. I'm not going to. I'm not going to and you can't make me.

Speaking of Bernard Sanders, Lucy, do you have an update for us from the magical land of the United States of America? Do I have an update from the Bernie Bro-down Hodown? Oh, shethere it is. Just picturing Bernard with a beard, just having a little dance. Bernie with a beard. Now I don't know if anybody's ever seen the classic Steven Seagal film Fire Down Burtle. Burnie with a beard. Now I don't know if anybody's ever seen the classic Stephen Seagal film Fire Down Below. Oh, I would I have seen that. It's amazing. Well, he plays an undercover, like an EPA agent, which is totally a thing that's real.

He is also, I believe, meant to be Native American in that movie as well. He's always got a splash of that, you know? Whatever suits at the time. No, wait, hold on, am I confusing? No, are you thinking of On Deadly Ground, the one where he goes out to like, there's the oil rigs and stuff? Wait, there were two movies where he was an environmental guy? Oh yeah, because this was after he had was the producer and he made the big speech at the end. He directed the movie. He directed

the movie, Michael Kane was the bad guy. And at the end of the movie, his accent in that movie is one of the most perplexing things I have ever encountered in all of cinema. I suspect it's probably something to do with him getting told at the start of the movie that he had an accent and then partway through just not caring about anything that was happening anymore. But that has like a solid sort of three or four minute monologue from Stephen Seagal about protecting the environment at the end of the movie and it's very good. But I'm talking about a different one and it has what's the

name of everybody's favorite old old actor from Repo Man. The wheel loves so much Harry Dean Stanton. Mm-hmm. Oh, big fan. It's got beautiful Harry Dean Stanton doing a nice little soft-shoof-shoffle on a back porch in his overalls and I'm imagining that but it's Bernie Sanders. So Lucy. So, Lucy what do you got for us? back porch in his overalls and I'm imagining that but it's Bernie Sanders. So Lucy, what do you got for us? So we are a little behind in delegates after Super Tuesday. You might have seen that apparently Biden just had a fucking big time comeback for no reason probably because everyone decided to rally behind him

as they all repeatedly dropped out of the race. We're not that far behind. Last time I looked it was roughly 50 behind. We won California, which has a huge amount of delegates. And I did just read that there is a county, Dallas, Dallas County in Texas that are asking for a recount of their Super Tuesday results after just finding some uncounted ballots. Cool. So lots of cool stuff that happens here, which apparently Dallas County has a huge Latino population, which, as you might have read, are hugely behind Bernie Sanders in numbers.

So there's a letter just- Weird that they lost those votes. Yeah, it's super weird. Also, you might have seen the pictures of just lines, hours after the polls have closed, like people lining up forever not being able to cast their votes everything's just running smoothly over here. Have you voted in the primary yes? I cannot vote in the primary.

I am going to be campaigning for Bernie Sanders out here in Hawaii. Not that it's going to make a huge difference because Hawaii was hugely behind Bernie Sanders in the 2016 election but it's hammered in a little more. But I cannot vote but we do have my husband's ballot which has a little Bernie Sanders colored in there. Nice. Hmm but Joe Biden. You want to talk about Joe Biden? Love to talk about Joe Biden. The Joe Biden possible future presidential candidate with a very normal and functioning brain. I believe you have a clip there, Andrew.

I sure do. Here's a little clip of Joe Biden talking about the man that he worked with every day for eight years when he was vice president. Let's have a little listen. Look, we provide a Medicare option. That's exactly what Wabrock and I talked about in the beginning. But you get it through though. Huh. Can I say that one more time? Sure.

Look, we provide a Medicare option. That's exactly what Wabrock and I talked about in the beginning. So, he's... Rap rock. Clearly, some half of that is him try to say Barack. What is the other half? What is the rap element of this? You know, I'd pass it off as just a stutter.

A lot of people are saying that he has a stutter and that's why all this stuff is happening, but it's certainly not an isolated incident. We also heard him say, O'Biden Bama. That was amazing. He said, I am an O'Biden Barmer Democrat. Now it got pointed out that that was during, he had a rally where he gave his speech to thousands of supporters, and he came out and did a seven-minute long speech and then immediately left. And like, as far as I know when they have all of these other big events,

someone like Bernie or someone with the rest of their brain working will come out and do like, I imagine a half hour to one hour long stump speech. Like, if you've got, in Bernie's case, like, tens of thousands of people there to hear you speak about a thing, I kind of feel like doing seven minutes of a stump speech in which you cannot remember your name or Obama's name. So yeah the general accusation is that they've spent a lot of this campaign keeping him away from the media. There's a lot of clips like this too. There's countless clips of him just thin the saying things that don't make sense and it's very thi thi thi thi thi thi thu. thi thu. thi thi thu. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's the. the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's t t t t te. te. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. I of him just losing his train of thought, saying things that don't make sense and it's very sad and it sucks.

I think my personal favorite one is, this is from a couple of months ago, the one where he's trying to remember Obama's name and couldn't just said President my friend. Back then was President the last guy, president my friend. And also, yeah, the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last. The last. The last. The last. The last. The last. The last. The last. The last. The last. The last. The last. The last. The last. The last. The last, the last, the last. The last. The last the last the last guy. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. That's. He's. He's, the. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's, the. the. He's. He's. He's. yeah, the last guy, he refers to him as, but, the last guy a lot. But like, I think this isn't even slightly conspiratorial because there's people from his own campaign in interviews saying, yeah, we're trying to minimize the amount of time that he spends exposed to the press, we're trying to minimize the number of public events he has in a day because he gets really tired. And then multiple interviews with Biden himself where he's saying, oh, it's not a stutter. It's just that at the end of the day I get tired and then I forget all my words.

You know, me too, but I'm not not to to to to be to be the the the the the the the th. You know, me too, but I'm not going to be, I don't want to be the president of the United States. And it is absolutely insane to be ignoring this while talking about, you know, the fact that Bernie had a heart attack. It's ridiculous. Well, yeah, the idea that you can talk about one but not the other as well. But also, there's a difference between like, the tents, thin, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, th, thin, thin, thi, the, the, thin, the, thin, the, the, thi, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. and, thr.e, to, thr.e, to, to, to, to, to, thr.a.a.a.a.a. to's, thr. And, the, thr. And, the, think there wasn't there a thing that like Biden has stents put in previously as well? Or is that my imagination? Somebody else. Could be.

But, but, but... Either way, Biden sucks on so many things. Well, yeah, there's all of the policy levels, but then there's this thing which is like very clearly having problems with like basic cognitive capacity. Like... And people, a lot of people here really think that Biden is someone who is going to beat Trump and just imagine this man in a debate with Donald Trump. He's going to mess up one word and it will just, he'll get destroyed. Like obviously it would be terrible for America and the rest of the world, but also it would be

extremely funny. Just like 45 minutes of Biden just like stumbling over a sentence and then Trump just going look at him look at him look at him they can't even look at this guy and then Biden starts crying and then he walks off stage would be funny while we all you know die out slowly climate change no medicare be funny while we do it though they'd be laughing all all the way into your early grave grave. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the grave to the grave to the grave to the grave the grave to the grave to the grave the grave to to to the grave to to the to to to to the the their the the the to the the the the the their. their their their their their just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It'd be funny while we do it though. You'll be laughing, laughing all the way into your early grave. Laughing all the way to the grave, that's right. It will truly be a wonderful end of society spectacle though.

That's right. And I guess like it's at least very, very, very mildly reassuring that Mike Bloomberg's whole thing didn't come off. That's right. It's, it, it, it, it, it, it, luuuuuuuuuuuuuuble th, it, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, laughing, th, laughing, th, laughing, th th th th th thu- thu thu thu thu th thu thu thu th th thu th thu to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing all thu. thu. thu thu thi, laughing all the the the the the the the the thoo tho tho the the tho the the tho tha, laughing all to to to that Mike Bloomberg's whole thing didn't come off. That's right. Former Mayor has now dropped out of the race but like think of it as Mike Bloomberg spent over 500 million dollars of his own money in a month and a half to not win an election. Ah he won American Samoa I think you'll find. yes yes. um... um... um... Thick the things he could have solved with that. Ah, he won American Samoa, I think you'll find. Yes, yes. Well, for the amount of delegates that he won, he could have just given a hundred million dollars to each delegate.

Speaking of Bloomberg, I've got some good news this week. Is he dead? I feel like we need some feel-good stories. He's not dead, unfortunately, but he will die one day. So from Friend of the Show, Ken Clipinstein in the Nation, there is actually a story about what a complete farce the Bloomberg campaign was. Bloomberg staff has brag about ripping off his campaign, covertly, canvassing for Sanders. So this is fantastic, this made my week.

Staffers for former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg's failed presidential campaign say they went rogue and canvass for Senator Bernie Sanders after the Nevada debate debacle, the nation reported Friday citing anonymous sources. People who worked with the team knew the campaign was over after Elizabeth Warren blasted Bloomberg during the campaign was over after Elizabeth Warren blasted Bloomberg during the debate. They also said they were met with hostility from voters on the campaign trail, according to Ken Clippenstein. What a surprise!

Can you imagine being hostile against being told to vote for Mike Bloomberg? It's just a great guy. It's been very funny to see all of the pundits getting extremely outraged by people referring to Michael Blubleberg as an oligarch?.... It, it, it, it, it, it, it, they, they, they, they, w, w, w, w, w, they, w, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, they they they they th, th, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they they, they, they they they they they th, th, th, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, theeat theat theat theat, theat, theat, they also also also also said they also said they also said they thi, th extremely outraged by people referring to Michael Bloomberg as an oligarch. It's like, weird that he's a multi-billionaire who has used all of that money to buy mammoth amounts of influence in a policy area, yet people call him an oligarch. It's terrible. So happy it didn't work out for him. So as one staffer explained, I would actively canvas for Bernie when I was supposed to be

canvassing for Mike. I know of at least one team of volunteers that was entirely fabricated by the organizers who had to hit their goals. It was easy enough to fudge the data to make it look like real people put in volunteer in in in the was getting nothing out of it. Another staffer told me in San Diego the regional organizers also exploited the campaign's resources staff and infrastructure for local races that they either were running in or consulting on. It's just kiss my fingers over here. It's so good so that's the just of it. A bunch of people essentially took money from Mike Bloomberg. I saw a lot of things about him offering to pay the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their to to their their to their their to their to th. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. I'm thi stuff. K. I'm to just just just to just to just just just just just just just just just just just just just go go go go. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. I'm tip. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, t. I. I t. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I t. I'm t. t. t. t. t. ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttte. ttttttte. ttttt. t. t gist of it. A bunch of people essentially took money from Mike Bloomberg. I saw a lot of things about him offering to pay a lot of money for campaign stuff, which

doesn't surprise me, but none of it worked out for him and I hope he eats shit in hell. Well, yeah, I mean you can pay to fly people places, you can pay people to sit on the computer or whatever, but you can't pay people to actually care about you and getting you elected. I mean, I'm sure you can on the sort of like being a top-tier political aid kind of level or being a campaign organizer or any of those sorts of things. Getting that Soros money for tweets that we all do. As far as just trying to give money to people at a grassroots level and say that that equates

to support of you and your policies, it doesn't really work like that. They find it funny to see people online saying like, hey, Bloomberg's offering to pay this much money for people to do tweets and all those goddamn embarrassing, promoted tweets and stuff that he was doing with like, fuck Jerry and all that sort of thing. Yeah. Just incredibly embarrassing for everyone involved. Terrible stuff. So that's what's going on over here. Also, we're waiting for Elizabeth Warren to decide

who she's going to endorse, which, uh. She doesn't owe anyone her endorsement. She should take some self-care. She's just being a boss ass bitch. What if she's too busy getting ready to go on Saturday night live? You know? Mm-hmm. That is her right as a woman, this international woman's day. Hey, you don't owe anybody anything.

That's what politics is all about. That's what running for positions of civic leadership are all about. It's just like relationships. If she doesn't want to commit to a man and I don't want to be toto afford to go to the doctor, that's her prerogative, sweetie. That's right. Congratulations Liz Warren on somehow managing to absolutely trash your own political legacy. All through this. But thank you to the Liz Warren voters who are coming over to the Burney camp. We love you. It sure does seems sure th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to the Liz Warren voters who are coming over to the Burner Camp. We love you. It sure does seem like Liz Warren has like fucking destroyed her reputation by this point, doesn't it? Yeah, it's not great.

Yeah, it's kind of like, well, you ruined, like people who thought of you as a progressive and are like, oh, you abandon all of your progressive ideals in order to get power. And then you, who would do that? that. progressive ideals in order to get power and then you didn't get power. Who who spent their life trying to become a politician would have not so solid morals and integrity? Who who had spent decades as a registered Republican might not fully commit to a progressive movement? This great integrity. Well um while we have you here Lucy let's let's, um, let's also check in on another segment, for which we have a theme.

Yes. It's plane time. Ah, this is your captain speaking. Please return your seats to their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of Plainly Speaking. You know that Lucy loves to fly on a plane. Sure do. What about a completely empty plane?

Like a ghost plane? That's a little bit spooky for me. I would prefer it if you didn't use the G word. I don't think you can fly on a completely empty plane because once you're on it, it's no longer completely empty. Oh, don't start. All right, Neil Degrass Tyson. The plane is occupied. Don't talk about me sexually harassing people. That's my Neil DeGras Tyson impression.

That's good. Very accurate. Start on. Yeah, so this is from the Times. Airlines are burning thousands of gallons of fuel flying empty ghost planes so they can keep their flight slots during the coronavirus outbreak. Airlines have wasted thousands of gallons of fuel running empty ghost flights during the coronavirus outbreak because European rules that say operators can lose their flight slots if they keep their planes on the ground. Demand for flights has collapsed across the globe amid growing fears about the outbreak.

Under Europe's rules, airlines operating out of the continent must continue to run 80% of the allocated slots or risk losing them to a competitor. This has led to some operators flying empty planes into and out of European countries at huge costs, the times of London reported. Owned. Uh, owned, indeed. Why don't you just sell tickets for like 20 bucks? Well, apparently they are are are are are are are are are are are are are are are are are are are are are are are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are indeed. Why don't you just sell tickets for like 20 bucks? It's crazy. Well, apparently they are selling like $7 flights.

I've definitely seen some flight sales lately. Probably to Italy. It's not really. Probably Italy. We will greet you with a kiss on both cheeks. No. You've got to stop kissing each other on the face. Please. Stop gesticulating with your hands, kissing your fingertips and then kissing people

on both cheeks. Simply don't do it. That's right. So what's your take on this, Lucy? What do you think should happen in this scenario? Explode all the planes? This kind of sucks, because like airports and airlines do have all these ridiculous rules in terms of like their space at the airport and paying for their space on the airport and what they have to do so this

I don't know. Shit sucks but it's it's pretty bad because flying is one of the worst things you can do for the environment unfortunately and it should be avoided at all costs but it's so nice. What are you gonna do? You're gonna fly a whole bunch of empty planes and just burn shitloads of fuel going through the sky for nothing. They should let me on those planes. Have you tried asking? Yeah call them up. Maybe I'll just call them up. Hey go down the airport. me help each other out here. I'll throw you guys $20 if you just take me for maybe five or ten laps of Hawaii and then land again.

You should get your cheap plane tickets while you can right now though. It's going to be bargains out there. I don't know. I keep being like, fuck, that'd be such a would not solve the problem of me not being able to afford a holiday because I can't afford any of the other elements of a holiday I'm like whoo my ship is finally in oh wait no what I get there I can't do anything okay maybe not also there's the coronavirus which the what yeah first time hearing about it better better get some to toy paper it sounds like the beer that's crazy at least the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. thea. thea. thea.ea. thea. thea. thea. thea. I thea. the. the. I the. the beer. That's crazy. At least, at least, at least cruisers have finally replaced diarrhea with their number one problem.

What is going on with cruises? Is it just an incubation? Like, did they just recycle the whole air for the whole cruise? I don't think it's the air. I think it's, um, I think it's more of a thing of like, what was the story Ben that???? the story, the story, the story, that we we we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that that that that that that that that that that's that that's that's the story, that's the story, like that's the story, like, like that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's just, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like the the the the the the the the the the the the the story, the story, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. don't think it's the air. I think it's I think it's more of a thing of like what was the was the story been that we talked about a while ago it was the the India Pacific train line and basically the diarrhea train and it's just like it's just a gastro factory. No that was that was Nova virus wasn't it? No virus is the one that cruise ships always get as well. Which is a thing, yeah, which manifests in horrifying gastro and diarrhea and shit, because it's the kind of virus that can also live like in fabric and seat cushions and stuff like that. So basically you have a cruise and one person catches it from like the couch in their cabin

that someone had diarrhea on last time and then they give it to a whole bunch of other people and then everybody starts getting sick and then they quarantine all the sick people in their cabins and everybody has a horrible horrible time for the whole thing. And then they get everybody off at the end and say, no refunds, no refunds. And then they get their big fire hose and they wash all the diarrhea and puke out of the boat. And then they say, okay, next lot of people, on you get.

And that's just, that's cruises now. And that's why everyone's getting coronavirus on a cruise, cruises right now. Don't go on a cruise. Just in general don't go on a cruise. It sounds like shit. Yeah, don't go on a cruise anyway. Do not, do not go on a cruise. Just take the, how many thousand dollars it's going to cost you. Look, it seems like it's cheap because you're not factoring in the cost of the drink prices. You're like, oh, that's pretty cool. I'm going to boat for a thr and th. th. thoooooooooooo. th. th. th. th. th. Just th. Just. Just. thiii. thi. thi. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Do th. Do tho tho tho tho tho tho thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo a lanyard thing that you're scanning for drinks and every time you get a cocktail it's 25 bucks then you get back home and then you got no money don't do it don't go on a fucking really is this true? Is this true? Yeah. Well it's probably all inclusive ones for rich boomers. I mean probably yeah but the cheap ones it's generally it's the drink. It's how they make they make their money. they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they they make they make they make they make they make they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make their their their their their their their they make their they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they If you could avoid it. Or the coronavirus express, that's right.

Any of these. New York has issued a state of emergency for coronavirus. So, you know. It's going well. I'm getting a little nervous. I guess my number one piece of advice, I think if there is one take away that we can leave you with this whole thing. thiiiii thing it is this do not contract coronavirus yeah avoid it if you can just don't do it if you get the option the choice if there's a form you need to sign anything like that that says do you do you want coronavirus yes or no

and you have to choose between one of them choose no every time. And stop writing into us about that episode. Stop writing to us about that episode where not everyone said that they washed their hands after going in the bathroom. It's in the past. I wasn't on that episode and I feel like I've been unfairly maligned. I feel like, let's not get, let's not re-revisite it it it it the whole revisit it the whole revisit it. We the whole revisit it. We's the whole revisit it. We's the whole revisit. We's the whole revisit. We's the the th. th. th. I. I. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've that. I've that. I've the the the that. I've that. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've that. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I'm th. I'm to th. I'm to to to to to t. to to to to try. to to to that's try. that's that's that. that's th. th. th. that on that episode and I feel like I've been unfairly maligned. I feel like, let's not get, let's not re-visited. We've all grown as people. I've taken your feedback on board. None of us touch our faces.

Mm-hmm. If I get up to pee in the night, I'll go and wash my hands for 90 seconds afterwards. Just waking up your wife, just loudly sloshing about the bathroom. Loudly lathering. Running the hair dryer over my hands for like five minutes afterwards. Well, we don't have an industrial dryer in the house. So what else was supposed to do? Stay safe out there.

Stay safe. Do not tick the box to get coronavirus if you get given the choice. I know that like after filling out that form, 10 10 the 10 10 10 10 the 10. the form. the form. the form. the form. the form. th. th. th. the form. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thirty thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. the thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin, thin. thin, thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. to get coronavirus if you get given the choice. I know that like after filling out that form 10 or 15 times you might start to get a little bored and think, hey, maybe you should switch things up. Maybe should take yes on this thing every now. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Hey kids, you want some of this heroin, says the multiracial street dealer giving away all these drugs, you just say no. Hey kids, do you want some coronavirus? Just say no. No you say coronavirus is for losers. No kissing. No kissing? No kissing? No kissing? No kissing 2020? No

hissing. No hand stuff. Definitely no hand stuff. That's where you get it. Mutual masturbation. Mutual masturbation. That's what we're doing. That's what we're doing. You can watch each other. Go to town on yourself and then and then it's back in for another 12 minutes of hand washing. That's right. That's what we're doing in 2020. Keeping it clean, no kissing, no touching. Stay horny, but no touching. Strip Club rules. We're going to strip club rules for 2020. So that's it. I feel like that's all we have time for this week. So if you would like a bonus episode in which we thi thi that thi that that that that that thi that that that that that that that thi that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to that's all we have time for this week. So if you would like a bonus

episode in which we will discuss the things we plan to talk about this week but didn't because we're busy talking about like jackass and you know a lot of important stuff. Ted Cruz's beard. Uh-huh. All that kind of thing. You can head over to Patreon. dot com slash Buntavista. Five American dollars a month and you will will. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, tho, thi thi, the, tho, tho, so tho, so tho, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, if th. So, if th. So, if th. So, if th. So, if th. So, if th. So, if th. So, if th. So, if th. So, if thi, thi, thi, thi, if you thi. So, if you would thi. So, if you would the. So, if you would thea. So, if you would thea. So, if you would the. So, if you would the. So, if you over to Patreon.com slash Buonto Vista. Five American dollars a month and you will get an extra episode every week. Hey, maybe you just want to sign up and support the show. Maybe you want to give us moral support in the form of five dollars. In which case, thanks. I'd say that's more than moral support. If you got a question, you can write in to mail bag at Wunta Vista. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, tha. And, tha. And, tha. And, tha. And, tha. And, bag at Wuntervista.com, and we will check it out and we will answer it, possibly. We don't always.

Maybe it's a bad question. Maybe a question made a lot of assumptions. You know? Maybe you wrote a letter that said, should I get the coronavirus, but we've already answered that this week, so we don't need to reply to that one specifically now. That's right. Yeah. So that's it from us you can find Lucy flying through the sky on an otherwise empty plane. Mm-hmm. Hopefully. Mostly empty plane. Very sealed up a cockpit. You can't get in there. I'm alone. Coughing, coughing loudly and knocking at the door. They will not let you in.

Won't feed me. Won't give me my free wine. All right, that's it, folks. Have a nice week? Hello? you