Boonta Vista - EPISODE 140: The Yoni Virus

Episode Date: March 16, 2020

Andrew, Lucy and Theo talk about the best way to be a good person in pandemic panic, the issues facing casual employees and lament the hardest hit sector of all: orgy purveyors and cuddle-party organisers.

Welcome to Bundenissa, my name is Andrew and I'm here outside of a big convention hall with my friend, my friend with the big brain, it is Theo. How you doing Theo? Hey, good. It is in pain. Throbbing? Throbbing? Hmm. P, I think, is more accurately descriptive of it. Sorry, I'm just going to close, close Twitter. Probably should have done that. Yeah, yeah. No, no, look, I think I am closing Twitter now, so we're on to a... I'm improving, all right? Trying to get my big old pulsating brain in the game.

Yeah, you've got to try and stop absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing absorbing my big old pulsating brain in the game. Yeah, you gotta try and stop absorbing absolutely all of the information at the same time, especially because so much of it is terrible. I would say a lot of it's terrible. The information we got these days folks is just no good. I don't like any of it. No, we've got to get some better information. Now, The thi is wondering why thia thia thia thia thia thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, their, thi, thi, we're here at this big convention hall. There's a lot of people here. A lot of people, surprising amount of people.

And his brain is throbbing extra hard because she feels like he might be in the presence of some other brainiacs. And that is because Lucy has brought us to our first ever Mensa convention. Because she is a registered member of Mensa. That's right, Mensa vention. That's right. I cannot think of anything worse. Here to do some mens reit's rites activism. That's right. Now Lucy I just want to confirm that you are a registered member of Mensa. Unfortunately, this is a thing that I thought would be funny.

Turns out not so funny in practice. No, Lucy, I assure you, it's very funny. I do have a membership card that I could post to win, like to win an argument on Twitter. Yes. I'm sure everyone really respects it. Okay, I just wanted to confirm first that you are in fact a card carrying, literal, literal card carrying member of Mansa and you've brought us here to this. How do you get in? Do they measure your brain? They do. They get out the big old calipers. Yeah. So it's funny that you've bought us here because I was just reading today about a comedian named Jamie Loftus. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. I. I do. I do. They do. They do. I do. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. the. the. th. the. th. the. th. the. th. the. th. the. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. bought us here because I was just reading today about a comedian

named Jamie Loftus. She hosts the Bechdel cast podcast, does funny videos and stuff. It has a bit where she slowly eats an entire copy of Infinite Jest, some things like that. And she's also done some bits of of journalism and she recently did a series of articles for paste after she got into Mensa and decided to see what it was like. Let me tell you it's not good. See now up until now I thought it would be a cool place to hang out and have fun. You would think that people who need their IQs measured are like just a barrel of fun. Oh man, I got to, I want to assemble this for a tweet at some point, but have you seen like, if you ever just googled IQ on Quora? Because

there's dozens or hundreds of questions on there that's like, I did an IQ test online and it told me I have an IQ of 165, but I'm not good at maths. Is it just that I have a brain that's too smart for maths? I love Quora. It's the best place on the internet. We should really be doing more Quora questions on the show. I reckon it's a goldmine. I'll get into that. I as a questionter question question question question Quora is followed by 150 replies of people explaining

why IQ tests are very legitimate. Oh, absolutely. Like, there is very little, there's very little questioning of this person's IQ going and just going like, no, no, no, what you have is a case of the hypergenious where your brain, it just goes beyond space and time, that's right. I assume that anybody that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi thi, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no their their their their their their their thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no your brain, it just goes beyond space and time, that's right. I assume that anybody who gives themselves this kind of IQ test believes the results and then hear something like that from the third party says, oh, you have rain man thing. Rain man thing.

Rainman. Yeah, you are an idiot savant. The thing you're bad at, math, that's due to the idiot part. But anything that you're good at, that's the savant part. Sorted. So, so there is an article in the New Yorker by Kat Zhang, which runs down some of what Loftus learned in Mensa, beginning with her finding, quote,

a reactionary, proudly unmoderated, official Facebook group of American mentions called Firehouse, that plays host to things like crude memes mocking Alexander Ocasio Cortes, bad faith anti-trans bathrooms opinions, and support for building a border wall. Yeah, I'm not surprised. Yeah. They also mention other things like posts arguing for the benefits of American slavery in human trafficking, all of which was enough to make Loftus want to quote understand this living breathing hostile

comments section by then going to last year's Phoenix held American Mensa gathering. Oh no. Brain juggalos. Puh. That sounds so awful. They're all those kinds of people. They're like, I'm an intellectual. Why don't we have a debate about whether murdering babies is good actually? And this, and this immediately like slides sideways into the aphibophilia conversation. I see it. It's nothing like sliding into a fibophilia.

So you'll be pleased to know that Jamie Loftus has made a podcast out of this called My Year in Mensa. Oh great. Documenting her interactions with these other people. So please check that out and thank you for bringing us to this alt-right racism brain conference, Lucy. You're so welcome. I've got to get something out of that Mensa membership, you know.

I'm going to go straight in here and get myself a fat dose of the Corona. Yes, please. Give it myself 19 shades of COVID, you know. How about that coronavirus? It's popping off. I'm a little uncomfortable. I'm very uncomfortable. I don't like anything right now. Yeah, it's hard not to have like a slight feeling of dread. Particularly if, yeah, like, I guess what I'm struggling with a lot is trying to allow my brain to reasonably triangulate between things that our government is saying, which...

Just not being a lot until today. Not a lot, yeah. Things that the government is saying, which from various Western governments has been a lot of, hey, everybody just relax and go to your favorite business, you know. There's been a lot of that, followed shortly afterwards by, oh, ah, fuck, as things start to actually happen. So, so that's one side of the triangle. And then another side of the triangle is all of the things that you're seeing on social

media. So whether it be all of the soldthings that you're seeing on social media. So whether it be all of the sold out stores from panic buying and all that sort of stuff, or I'm seeing a lot of like accounts of what it's like in the hardest hit areas of Italy and stuff like that, but they're all from like Facebook posts and they're all from someone who's like, I'm a, I'm a like registered nurse or a doctor who is here in the epicenter of this pandemic in Italy. I speak very good English apparently and here I am doing a Facebook post about it.

And like, all of them sort of make me go, I sort of have to take this with a massive grain of salt because I have no fucking idea where it came from. That's true. Like, who knows, who is, who is, who is, who is, who is, who is, who is, who is, who is, who is, who is, who is, who is, who is, who is their their, who is their, who is their, who is their, who is their, who is here, who is here, who is here, their, their, their, their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they're they're they're th. And th. And th. And the. And theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, the. And the. And the. And they're th take this with a massive grain of salt because I have no fucking idea where it came from. That's true. Like who knows what's going on? There's a lot of, it's just a lot of misinformation. Well yeah but then that is sort of in direct conflict with the idea that like the government is going to be counterbalancing all of this with looking at hey this isn't this thi. this isn't we wouldn't want want want want want want want want want want want to have have have have have to have to have have have have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the the to have to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thoo thoo thooo thooo thooo thoo thoooo tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to be counterbalancing all of this with looking at, hey, this isn't going to have too much an impact on businesses, isn't it? We wouldn't want to have to cancel the Grand Prix and all that kind of shit. We don't want people to panic and all that sort of stuff.

So they're kind of trying to balance the two, whereas you're getting stuff from other sources that's like, no, everybody should be panicked, th.. even panics just acting quicker. Just doing, yeah, doing something about it. Yeah. Yeah, so like, me and wife of the show, my wife, Eleanor, we've been talking a lot over the last several days about whether or not I'm going to keep going into the office because I work from home some of the time, like I think I was saying this on the last step said, I'm very, very lucky in that I work from home. I work with a much remote teams and things like that.

So most of my meetings are like remote anyway, even if I'm in the office. So like, there isn't a need for me to be there in the building. And I bought this up at work and said, th, and said, th, and said, and said, th, and said, and said, th, th, and said, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the thi, I the thi, I thi, I thi, I thr, to to to to to to to to, to, to, they're sort of, they're already saying to us, be prepared for the eventuality that we will close the offices and you will just be working from home from then on. And it just sort of makes me go, well, if you've, if you've decided it's like an inevitability, then just do it now? Yeah, it's weird. I feel like Australia is a little behind on this, then just do it now? Yeah, I don't... Yeah, I feel like Australia is a little behind on this, this kind of response. Why be worried about being too early in reacting to a pandemic?

Which is certainly like the thing that you can, the same, you can tile the government with the same brush, right? Where they're clearly afraid of being seen as like, just being too early, too scared, the the same this, this, this, the the th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, thi, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their, their their, their, their, their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and inea, and inea, and inev, and inev, their their their their the, threate, threaten, thin, thin, the, thean, thin, theananananananananit, thin, their their their their their their their their, thin with the same brush, right? Where they're clearly afraid of being seen as like just being too early, too scared, or all this sort of stuff when, you know, clearly that's where we should be instead being too cautious. Can we, can we date this episode? Is that, can we drive a little sign in? Oh, in case it all goes crazy. Well, we kind of need toto because things are changing so much every 24 hours. That's right. So we didn't really have much of a much of a response at all from

the federal government until basically later on today, this is Sunday the 15th of March. And even during the day it changed. They had the chief medical officer of Australia, Brendan Murphy and Greg Hunt, on insiders this morning, very bizarre scenes as they asked the two of them whether they needed to be tested for coronavirus, having been in the presence of Peter Dutton, who has the coronavirus. Who has the coronavirus now? Which we're not allowed to crow about. Yes, we are. We are on this podcast. Fuck that guy. And they're like, well, we don't really know. Who's to say whether we should be tested or not or whether we're...'s like no you should you you you you're the guy and you've got all the doctors there so what and they were still not ready to say hey let's not shake hands and stuff right like

let's put those put those things in place until later today and it is like you know we've I'm sure everyone who's listening to this has been in, you know, various workplaces or, you know, talk to spouses or all this stuff stuff about all of the things that are going on in like real life to try and halt the spread. Like you said, Andrew, like, you know, you're looking at working from home and all that's the stuff. You know, and we're talking about this stuff, and the federal federal, thapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapape, tho, tho, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, thi, thi, thi, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. All, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, to, to, to, to, to, to, too. too. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to,'re talking about this stuff and the federal government's only just now still trying to work out whether you should shake hands with people. Well can I give a good example of something that from the Australian perspective was like heavily influenced by the indecisiveness. Because I find this very similar to like other areas of policy that the government deals with in that they do a lot of like, hmm, what would be good is if we didn't have th a th a th a th a th a thi a thi a thi a thi a thi a thi a thi to have to have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. toe. toe. thi. thi. government deals with in that they do a lot of

like, hmm what would be good is if we didn't have to do anything in this problem fixed itself and then they wait for way too long and then they eventually jump on it. But like it was it was becoming increasingly clear over the previous week that we were going to have to enact the same kinds of measures that are happening all around the world, which is stop doing public events and mass gatherings, right? And so I talked about this on, I think the previous episode where I was like, I think the previous episode where I was like, I was trying to decide if I should go to the football

on Friday. It's Sunday now, this is on Friday. The day before I was like, yeah, it's fine to my friends. No, that feels like a decade ago to me. 24 hours later, 24 hours later I was saying to my friend, I was like, I think like all these places are shutting down events over like a couple of hundred people. Maybe the good thing to do as a responsible member of society is to just not go to something like this right now, you know? And we all just decided not to go.

And there was also the Grand Prix which is happening over the weekend, you know, event that a lot of people travel from all around the world to be at, and this was a thing where they said, hey, maybe we're going to be at, and this was a thing where they said, hey, maybe we're gonna cancel it, and then they said, no, we're not gonna cancel it, and then they said, yes, we're gonna go ahead, but we're not gonna let anyone in. So we'll broadcast the thing, but we won't have crowds at the thing.

They're making all of these calls like, in the sort of 24 to 48 hours leading to this thing starting. They get all the way up to we're not going to have anybody inside the venue to yes we are going to let people into the venue to having people queuing up to get in and saying actually the entire thing is canceled. And I think that was once the McLaren team pulled out entirely. And it makes you wonder, hey, if maybe on Friday, it was either Friday or Saturday when the government said we're going to encourage all events of over 500 people to be cancelled as of Monday. And this is the perfect encapsulation of what we're talking about is why?

Why would you say we think that gatherings of over 500 people are dangerous in two days from now? Yeah, in two days this is really going to be popping off. Yeah, and Prime Minister Scott Morrison said, but I'm going to go out to the footy on Sunday. Making everyone go, what? He was like, oh yeah, because I want to go to one for a while, so I'll want to go to this. Yeah.

It's just going to be dangerous. Starting now. It's just going to be more Australian. I read an incredibly confusing column on the City Morning Herald that was the guy saying like, oh yeah, you know, he likes to glan-and people and everything like that. He's showing that we shouldn't panic. And also I heard him saying I know all about viruses and I'm not going to stop shaking anyone's hand. He's just going to get it. All the world leaders are getting it and I think Trump also has it. They're all going to get it. I mean, I, I, I, and I, the the the th, and I, and I, and I, th, and the th, and the th, and the th, and th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, th like, th like, th like, th like, th like, th like, th like, th like, th th like, th like, th th like, th th th like, th th like, th like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, like, th, th like, like, th like, th like, like, th like, th like, thi like, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi also has it. They're all going to get it. I mean, I've, yeah, and the Trump thing is very similar in that he, like Morrison, has been very directly exposed to like multiple people who are confirmed. He apparently had a negative test, but I watched the pressor that he gave the other day, Trump, he's like unwell. He's sick. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. th he's white knuckling through that. Have you have you guys seen like the videos of um I've just been seeing all

these different videos of like one one was a prime minister or a premier or something at like CPAC a week or two ago and he looked like he was dying. There's a whole there's a whole genre of them, and especially guys that are either midway through oppressor saying that there's nothing to panic about with coronavirus and they're just like coughing directly on the bike. They're sneezing and shit. All those things like CPAC and stuff that they said, no way, we're definitely going ahead with this. And it's like, good anything worse. I feel like any like comic con type scenario I've ever been to I've gotten sick. It just happens every time and that's what's

going to happen to all these people. Yep and I mean I was reading again I don't know how like I don't know how many grains of salt exactly I meant to be taking each of these things with I was reading the notes. I the notes. I the notes. I the notes. I the notes. I the notes. I the notes. I the notes. I the notes. I the notes. I the notes. I'm like like like like like like like the notes. I'm the notes like the notes like the notes the notes the notes th. I'm like th. I'm like like like like like th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm like like like like like like like like like like like like like like I'm like like like like like like like I'm like like like the notes. I'm like the notes. I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I the notes. I the notes. I the notes. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm the notes. I'm the notes. I'm the notes. I'm the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the grains of salt exactly I meant to be taking each of these things with. I was reading the notes from like a university panel with like an immunologist and their epidemiologists and stuff like that. And yeah, they were saying like, no, no, at this point there is no containment. Like it's out, it's in hundreds of countries. There's no containment or anything. The only thing we can do is hope to slow the rate of infection because of the stress that it puts on the medical

system, if everybody's getting sick simultaneously, you know, you have limits in hospitals on things like number of beds, number of like respirators and all that sort of shit. Yeah, and you do also want to at some point reach a stage of herd immunity, right? So herd immunity, I guess, is where you can, where enough people have some sort of immunity to it so that society as a whole can block coronavirus, you know, influenza, whatever it may be, from getting to the immunosuppressed, the elderly, all that sort of stuff because it's not able to get its tendrils like deep enough at that point, right?

So you want to kind of reach that point where it's like 40-70% have had it, and it sort of has a little barrier around people, but it's... So these guys were estimating that it's going to take like 12 to 18 months for the herd immunity stuff to happen, assuming that a vaccine is not developed, which it doesn't look like is going to happen any time soon. 12 to 18 months for a herd immunity to develop, and that's after something like 60 to 80% of the US population gets infected over that time and again the entire point is just about saying how long can we

stretch that out. Yeah putting the putting the brakes on it. So the people in danger aren't all arriving at a hospital at the same time. Yeah. Which again makes me makes me sort of go well Why bother waiting To attempts to slow this down if if you are like me and an incredibly privileged position Where you can say to your work? I'm just not going to come in for a week or two while we see what's going on to the you at home, please do the same thing if you have the ability and not everybody does We we've also just been talking about whether or not we're not we're going. to to to to to to to to to to to th. to to th. th to th th th th th th to th th th to th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. to. to. to. try. to. the to. the the the the to. the the the to to to the same thing. If you have the ability, and not everybody does. We've also just been talking about whether or not we're going to start keeping our kids home from school this week.

Because again, if I'm working from home all day, someone's at home all day and my kids can be home. It's not a situation like where, you know, if we want our kids to stay home from school, you have to, like, have babysitters, or you have to stay home from work yourself and not make money, or like so many, so many people find themselves in that situation. Or in the case of if they do actually decide at some point to shut schools, which they may well do soon. They should, probably.

Yeah, except for the knock-on effect that has on all the people who work in the medical industry. So if you have kids and also a shift at the hospital, yeah. And you don't have anyone to send your kids. So it's all bad. Yeah, so it's kind of all bad. And yeah, I think from our perspective, we're just kind of looking at it and saying, what is basically the only thing that is within our control at this point to say we're going to do our part for society

by just going out as little as possible over the next couple of weeks, and you know, monitoring everything and see how it goes. Stay indoors. Do some gaming. Watch some anime. Get severely addicted to anime. Catch up on all your anime shows.

There's plenty to do at home. Maybe I've got to watch that, uh, that Jojo's. Oh, you've got to watch Jojo. Make it your, make it your coronavirus event. Well, I think, I watched some of it, and I was like, what's the deal? Because I'd seen like pictures. I'd seen pictures of Jojo's Bazaar Adventure, I believe it's called. I'd seen some pictures and I was like, that looks pretty flight. And I watched like the first several episodes of the first season, and I was like,

this is all just old-timey guys in Victorian era. Oh my god, it's so good though, it's just crazy. Well, it didn't get crazy, like the guy maybe put a mask on for a minute, but after reading the Wikipedia synopses, every season is like a different era in the history of this one family. Every season is like a different descendant of the same guy and it like ends up being in the far future and shit like that.

I can't believe that this show is now devolved into giving plot synopsis of anime. Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. The several minutes of it. Just saying, we're all clipped up. Going crazy out here. It sounds like it goes nuts later on, and if I am in the privileged position of being able to stay home and pretend I'm working while I watch Jojo's Bizarre Adventure on my second monitor. That's fine. That is fine.

But not everybody is in that position. Not everybody can opt to stay home. What's your testing scenario in Australia? Do you know what the what the guidance is right now? Cool. I don't. I mean we were just, me and my wife were just talking about a friend of hers who I think is a nurse who was like, yeah we just had somebody come in who was like sneezing and feverish and stuff and their son had just come back from Hong Kong two weeks earlier and they didn't test her.

She said, so I don't know who the fuck we're testing. This is all I'm reading is that people are trying to get tests and basically being told no. Um, Brenda Murphy again, um, yesterday has said that we are basically headed for a shortage of test kits. So, it's probably not likely that you can just go and get yourself tested in general. I think they're going to have to be directed about it, but again, it's hard to know without, like, any direction from the government. So, cool. It's all going well. As you can imagine, it's going equally well over here. Nothing on the shelves?

Pretty much, yeah. I think the Trump administration finally announced that people will be able to get a test for free, but I think it's just the same scenario where it's just been in denial for a while. They did a bailout over a trillion dollars in the stock market or whatever. I don't know how stocks work, but there was money for that. I believe it was one and a half trillion dollars to correct a like massive crash in the stock market by a tiny bit for about half an hour before it went straight back down or it was. That's right. I bought a share the other day. I decided it was time to buy low. What a great time to get into the market. That's right. That's th. I th. I th. I the the th. I th. I the th. I the th. I th. I th. I the th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was tho tho the. I was tho tho tho tho tho tho th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was the. I was the. I the. I the. I theeea. I thea. I thea. I thea. I thea. I thea. I thea. I the. I th buy low. What a great time to get into the market. That's right. I own to Bitcoin. Hmm. Great idea. Oh God, Theo. I wound up, absolutely, sucker for punishment. I wound up just going and like falling down a well into, uh,

Bitcoin recession Twitter. How was it? All the, just like, you know, obviously there's been a massive crash and everything like that. Scott Adams is upset, which always makes me happy. Well, there's just a lot of people, maybe this is why I saw it in the first place, because you were liking something to do with fucking Scott Adams being pissed off about Bitcoin shit He was he was like telling Bitcoin people that they were idiots right

They're called correctly. I think that yeah, I think they've they've been turning on each other because that's what happens when the line goes down Yeah, yeah, when line go up they're jubilant When line go down, then it's every man for himself. And it is all just men. And of course, of course, you know, the whole thing, all these people have been telling themselves about Bitcoin the whole time was, yeah, but Bitcoin's great because it's completely different to all the other kinds of currency and money. Yeah, it crashes harder, baby. Yeah, and then there's like massive stock market crash, big recession, completely tanks,

and they're just like, no, no, no, no, no. What you don't understand is that we never said it was like global recession proof. If everything goes down, then of course that's going to go down too. And it's like, cool, then what's the fucking, the fucking well it goes down faster because when you enter a recession or we go into a bear market, people start to sell off their riskier investments, right? Of which everybody sees Bitcoin as a riskier investment. So that's what gets sold off first and then line go down. Line go down. I like it when the line go down. Sorry to anyone that lost their fortunes

in stonks. In Bitcoin. It was very good to see all of the, all of the people doing like lots of smug posting about why people who are sad that they lost all their money on Bitcoin again are idiots because they don't understand the long-term gain that they're going to get from having Bitcoin. Yeah. And, um, and basically like like, like they, like they, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, the, the, thi- like, their, thi-like, thi-like, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. In, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, thi-s-i-i-i-i-lain-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-in. And, their-in. again are idiots because they don't understand the long-term gain that they're going to get from having Bitcoin. And basically like it's, you can just always, you can go and find these people all confirming all of their own beliefs to each other in ways that basically say no matter what happens with Bitcoin, where the line go up, whether the line go down, whether the line go down and keep going down, you have made

the right decision and are very smart for investing in Bitcoin. You should feel good about it and you should get your Mensa card. That's right. What they don't understand see is that you've got to buy low and then what you want to do is you want to sell high. I'm something of an investor myself so I understand. Yeah all these people who are like yeah like when when Bitcoin crashes it crashed pretty hard but when it's bullish it's super bullish it's like yeah well congratulations on losing all your money I don't know what to tell you. Yeah well just a lot of people trying to work out different explanations for how this is not,

this is like a fine and normal thing to happen for something that you wanted to replace other currency with, you know? People pointing out, hey, that's what happened with gold before as well. All these people like bought a whole bunch of gold as an alternative currency in case a Fiat currency went wrong and then Fiat currency crashed and then the gold crashed as a result because everything lost all the value at the same time. They were like, exactly, this is different though. Bitcoin, good.

Anyway, speaking of people who do not have the privilege to work from home, so anybody who works in retail, perhaps anybody who works in hospitality, anybody who works at a third place, places that do like horse riding tours. Sure. Zip lining places. Someone's got to have the zip line place open. Uh-huh. It's a human right. What's another place?

Oh, people who rent bouncy castles are going to be taken a hit. If you're the guy whose job it is to hit the go button on the tower of terror dream. What a dream job. You're gonna be having a very uncalloused finger for the near future. If you're the person whose job it is to fish all the decapitated heads out of the... No. Oh no. No. No. No. I remember that about once a month and... Oh no. Too soon. No. No. No. No. I'm still, I remember that about once a month and... That's perhaps some of the most awful news I've ever read.

In fairness though, Theo, as we established on the last bonus episode, something that you think is quite recent, probably took place in 2003. Oh man, it's so long ago at this point. I'm gonna guess, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, okay. Okay, you guess, I'll look it up and we'll figure out. Yeah, okay, I think we'll figure out if it falls in 2016. 16. Um, sorry, are you saying you think it was 2017? Yeah.

Yeah. My goodness. Um, no, it was 2016, so, you know, four years ago, four years ago. Oh, speaking of the, okay, according to the inquest, the dream world deaths could have been prevented by press of a button. They could have just got the guy from the Tarotera thing though. Well then fuck the Tarotera guy for not doing this job properly. I don't care if you get coronavirus. You had one job, you know, remember that? I'm not entering into this. You had one button to press. Anyway.

So yeah, if you're any of these people, you can't just stay home, you're going to get just a fuced up. And more than likely if you are in any of these kinds kinds jobs. You're probably a casual employee too. You're probably getting dicked down by the man who is not giving you your entitlements. He's not giving you your leave. He's not giving you your sick leave, which might be now more than ever.

Instead, what you get is loading. You get some more money, which theoretically... you're supposed to put aside as a bunch of shitty people online are saying which is very funny so in Australia the theory is that if you are a casual employee it means that you don't have a permanent job so basically you can be let go at any time with depending on your contract, say one hour to five days of notice, you know.

You don't get any holidays or anything like that. But you do get a 20% higher rate of pay than you would get if you're in a salaried position with the theory being that you put aside that money yourself. Number one, I'm quite certain that there would be lots of places that would simply reduce the base rate that we're going to pay you by 20% and then say, here, that's your casual rate. But then outside of that, that's also just not really how life works for most people. It certainly isn't.

It's pretty hard to get your paycheck and say 20% of that off to the side in this neat little piggy bank that I will simply not toucest. I would also point out that Australia's under-employment rate is higher now than it has been in the last like 50 years or so. So when you're a casual employee, chances are, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you, it is that you that you, it is that you is that you is that you, it is that you is that you is that you is that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are also thi. It's thi-a, thi-a, thi-a years or so. So when you're a casual employee, chances are that you are also under-employed. Yes. And not getting the hours you need to survive in the first place.

Luckily, our attorney general big, dumb fucking shithead, Christian Porter has come in here to suggest via the Guardian that the higher rate of hourly pay that casual workers receive mean that many will have quote already made provisions if forced to take two weeks of unpaid leave because of the coronavirus crisis and the government will not quote jump to a solution in anticipation of a problem. Who would think that people who don't get paid if they don't go to work would have a problem if forced to not go to work indefinitely?

What a great quote. A piece of shit. Just a huge piece of shit. The government will not jump to a solution in anticipation of a problem. You could just frame that and nail it on the wall. You know these guys always jumping to solutions whether or not things happening. I'm not going to hit the breaks before I need to stop, all right? I'll wait until I just need to stop. That's exactly right.

I'll stop at the exact moment that I'm stopping. I'll stop when I don't know when I'll stop when I need to stop, all right? Continuing from the Guardian here, as the government struggles to answer what solutions it's putting in place for Australia's 3.3 million unsecured workers who do not receive sick leave entitlement support, he did not expect it to be a universal problem. What a dumb bitch. What dumb bitch? Qu? Dumb bitch. Quote, many people would have already made provisions for that, because of course, the purpose

of casual employment is that you're paid extra in lieu of those types of entitlements, he said. Thank you, Professor. Here's your mensa card. Hand over that mensa card. I think actually that the purpose of casual employment is to make it really easy to fucking fire you if there is the slightest downturn in profit from your capitalist overlords. Mm-hmm. Also most casual workers are making like $20 to $25 an hour, you know? This isn't for people that have a huge amount of excess money to put to the side. Look, I'll say this. For the last couple of years, I had been contracting, which is a very-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s-s, th-s, th-s, thu-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-s, I-s, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I, I, I'll say this, for the last couple of years, I had been contracting, which is a very

different thing in, I don't know, whatever you would say I do. It's a very different thing than it is to, like, working in hospitality or the service industry, any of these kinds of things. The contracts are, like, they are actual contracts of employment as opposed to, hey, you work here on like a casual workplace agreement and we'll, we'll let th th th th th th th th th th th the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I'll, the, the, the, the, thi, I'll, I'll, I thi, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, theat, theat, the, theat, the, the, theat, the, thi actual contracts of employment as opposed to Hey, you work here on like a casual workplace agreement and we'll let you know when we want you to come down, you know And higher rates and all that sort of stuff But like even then even on a even on what is like the equivalent to a good salary? We still couldn't just put to a good salary,

we still couldn't just put that money away. Like, it's fucking impossible. We got, we got kids, we got cars, we gotta put petrol in. We got like, you gotta pay your registration, you gotta pay your electricity bill, you gotta buy clothes for your kids, all the normal shit. And that's like, that's not even really including things like that all the times that you take your car to get serviced and they go, by the way, you need a new gearbox or the times that you go to the dentist and they say, by the way, we we need to replace several of your teeth or any of those things that come up as a part of very normal life for people. When you lose all your money on your Bitcoin investment, yeah, all kinds of shit.

I put all our money in Bitcoin. Revoke my Mensa card. Yeah, like so even for people who live in relative comfort and security like us, it is still virtually impossible to take your paycheck, each pay, and say, hey, let's just snip 20% off that, put it over to the side of here. And if we need it, what we'll do is simply not use it. Like life just doesn't fucking work like that. Yeah. He goes on to say, I'm a big dumb bitch. No, he goes on to say if it is the case that large numbers of people in particular industry

sectors by virtue of the casual nature of their employment are having these types of problems, and that is something where aware could happen, that is something that can be responded to, likely through the welfare system, but there might be other options.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I I thi. I I I thi. I I I I thi. I I I I I I thi. I I thi. I I I thi. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm to to to to to to to to too. ty. teei. ty. te. tei. ty. ty. ty. tipe. to, likely through the welfare system, but there might be other options. We'll stop when we need to stop. Just a bunch of really gross, cruel bullshit. Hugely frustrating. I guess this is also especially frustrating to see how disproportionately the pandemic is affecting and will continue to very severely affect like under-employed people, unemployed people, disabled people, to casually employed people, all that kind of thing.

Because I feel like we've just had several years of wall-to-wall media coverage in Australia of both large financial institutions just stealing from people on a massive, massive scale. And nothing happening as a result? Remember when all those banking executives went to jail? It's just fine. They just get to pay the money back and say, oops, we're sorry. We're sorry. So we... We made a whoopsie woo. I feel like criminal charges were recommended through one of those inquiries.

Nothing happened. Um, like, yeah, a couple of banking executives resigned, but got to have like a multi-million dollar golden parachutes and everything. So we've had all of that. We've had all of like, you know, people just fucking stealing from people at every other level of society. And then we've also had the multi-year rolling wage scandal out of the restaurant industry, specifically. I mean, we've had it in other casual industries as well. I mean, like, again, let's look at this idea from Christian Porter that like, no, it's fine. These people get extra money in lieu of the holidays that they're making when they work casually so they'll be totally fine. Remember, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thate, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. And thi. And thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi's thri's thri's thri's thriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. And, thri's thri. And, thi,that they're making when they work casually, so they'll be totally fine.

Remember just like all those workers at 7-Eleven? Oh yeah. Remember all those workers at 7-Eleven where the franchise owners took their passports and basically made them indentured slaves and paid them like a fraction of minimum wage? And that was cool. She happens in Australia so much. I'm amazed that Australians are just not more angry at everything. Like, yeah, should have been fucking bricks through the windows of every 7-Eleven in the country after that.

You would think that that might encourage him to say, oh, we might need to do something about this. There was the, uh, I was just reading about the guy fucking, what's his name, Justin Hems, the Merrivale restaurant group guy, Sydney, Surfer, dip shit, and his, his whole thing has completely gone under now. Um, it is Justin Hems. So, I was reading a thing completely gone under now. It is Justin Hems. So I was reading a thing the other day about how they had like a whole complex bookkeeping set up at their place where employees had to scan their thumb print on the way in and out of the building.

And the average employee, I believe, was salaried for 38 hours a week, and worked like 80 hours a week, and this thing actually logged the number of unpaid hours every employee did. Wow. So you know how they're always like, oh, the system's so complicated. It's so hard to... Oh no. Is it? Is it, though? It's like weird?'s so hard to... Oh no. Is it? Is it though? It's like weird because you manage to specifically keep track of the hours you weren't paying people for. Just an incredible self-owned.

Just being so stupid. Hand in your mensa card, sir. Well, they reckon that they may have underpaid their workers $126 million. That's pretty cool. That is an obscene amount of money. It's a lot of money. Restaurants love to do this. I guess what I'm saying is, it's all good and well to say, hey, restaurant workers get paid more than they would if they were in like a permanent salary job. So they'll be fine, except for the fact that most the fact the fact the fact that most that most that most that most that most that most that most that most that most that most that most that most that most that most that most that most that they would if they were in like a permanent salary job, so

they'll be fine except for the fact that most of them already don't get paid for the fucking hours they work. Theo do a do a math for us. If you are working a standard 38 hour week, if you're salaried for a standard 38 hour week, but you're actually working say 80 hours. Yeah. How much of a percentage is that that's been clipped off your wages before you even get to the point of having a 20% loading on top? Train leaves Brisbane traveling at 30, 39 kilometers an hour. Are we rounding up there? What's going to? That's got to be

like upwards of... It's at least 10. 10 or 12 percent. It's a lot. Very fucking cool. And of course all of this type of stuff is led by dip shitts like celebrity chef, George Coulombaris. Remember this type of stuff is led by dipshits like Celebrity Chef, George Calambarus. Remember this dickhead? Bitch, it's gonna sucks. Eggheaded, mothucker. Um, hey, this is from the Australian. Apparently, George Cullaboris's hospitality empire had been operating in the red for almost

four years when it collapsed last month, with its losses since 2016 amounting to a massive 20.7 million dollars. So remember how? This was the timeline that I remember of the George Connobar stuff. I think it was 2016 when like stuff first got raised of people saying, hey, we're not not being paid properly. And his business said, hey, we're fixing that and everyone should be happy. Stop asking us questions. And then the news like kept coming out about all this stuff.

And they were like, oh, that's weird. We thought we fixed that little hiccup with our books you know we got in there we got out the the green you know the green accounting visor what was that for yeah and you typing the numbers in I pull the big lever oh a dream of pulling that big lever out oh a dream a whole bunch of paper out why's the uh no I gotta go back to the visor for a minute. We really gotta get like big levers for our computers.

He's gotta pull it every time you wanna send an email. You know what the problem is? That's nice in theory, but what you wind up is one of those fucking USB nuclear launch buttons, you know? And that's not cool. So anyway, we did all our accounting and we fixed it and everything was great and perfect except it kind of wasn't they did manage within the last year of being an operation to

like completely rebrand and re-outfit like their four biggest businesses I think because that part was apparently very easy to jump all over and everything and yeah and yeah now it tu it tur-it that the that that th and th and th and th and that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that their their their their their their their their their that their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their that thooooooo-n. te. te. teat te. te. te. te. te. thooooo think because that part was apparently very easy to jump all over and everything and yeah now it turns out that basically they had been operating at a loss which I understand to be illegal yeah good for them yeah so apparently that's a whole thing is um but when you say illegal we're talking uming, um, like, people go to jail illegal? Like as if you, you know... Talking about like, illegal, it's a different kind of illegal.

Oh, okay. If you're rich enough, you can do crimes, as we know. Also, I kind of... It doesn't seem like anybody is able to run a restaurant empire. It seems like every single restaurant empire in Australia is run by the biggest dunderheads in the world. I could be wrong, maybe there's one out there that's succeeding. Well, yeah, it's almost like, um, just running one restaurant should be fine.

Yeah, you get greedy. Like, you could run one successful restaurant, and you could pay all the people there, what do you actually owe them? Or, you could expand as quickly as possible to running as many restaurants as possible and then start trying to figure out which corners to cut in order to make it work, which none of them can do. So anyway, in the seven months up to its collapse on February 10th, Mr. Kalabirus's made Establishment Group had racked up a $4.15 million loss. I thought I read a thi thin thi thi thii thiii thi thi thi thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiol-try th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin thin, thin thin thin thin thin thee the the the the the the the the the toe toe toe the toe the toe toe toe the toe the toe the the the the the the the the the the toe the toe the to its collapse on February 10th, Mr. Kalamirus's made Establishment Group had racked up a $4.15 million loss. I thought I read a thing. It was like a $45 million. Um, before its sole millionaire director Radex Sali made the call to appoint corporate

undertakers. Corporate undertaker. That's pretty cool. It's like a wrestler. I like it. Yeah, you're gonna hear that big bell bong. Uh-huh. D-D-D-D-D-D- It's the corporate undertakings.

That would be a good tag team between W.W.W.E. W.W.R.S. who was a big accountant. What was his? Some wrestling bits just suck. Was he in a suit that was like just weirdly proportioned? I'm gonna look that up.

Oh yeah, look a look on. Mike Rotunda was the name of the wrestler. But, but the character of the the wrestler But but the character but his character's name was Owin R Scheister IRS oh come on and he was big buff guy with glasses and like a short-sleeved business shirt and a tie It looks like Christopher Maloney taking the piss. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I think you could get IRS and the under ta ta ta tea tog tog tog, and have it the the the ta tha ta tha tha tha tha tha togu tha togu togu. thas. thas. they. they. they. to to to to be to be to be to be a to bea. to bea. tha. to bea. to bea. to bea. to bea. to bea. to bea. to bea. to bea. to bea. to bea. to bea. to be. to be. to to to to to to to to to toe. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thae. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. toda. the toda. today. the today. today. the today. the today. to today. to t could get IRS and the undertaker together and have to be a tag team called corporate undertakers. Anyway, guy, Colomirus, big dumb piece of shit. Thanks for fucking up all those people's jobs and libelhoods. Anyway, the only other point I was going to make about that was,

I feel like there was a lot of, like, when it was sort of first announced that his shit was all to to to to be the the the to be the the to be the the the the the the the the the to be a the to be a the the tog tog the tog togu tap taping taping tape to be a tape. tape. to be a to be a tape. I tape. I tage. I tage. tage. tage. tage. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their t. their t. t. t. t. t. t. tap t. tap tap tap tape. tape. tape. tog tog tog tog tog tog tog tog tog tog tog tog tog tog tog tog tog t of, like when it was sort of first announced that his shit was all going under, there was a bunch of people saying like, oh, so, you know, he gets put on the spot about all of the pay issues, but now all of these people are going to be out of a job. And so, you know, who's smart now? It's like the guy who lost $40 million of other people's money by running a bunch of restaurants that weren't profitable? Like, were they going to stay open forever? And also, if those restaurants didn't exist, the people would be working for other restaurants that might actually pay them correctly, so...

You never know. It's all very dumb. Could happen. It could happen, folks. Hey, I got no idea. Some good news? Uh, well, we're going to have our friend Lucy solve a few problems for us. Let's do that.

Let's do that. Thank you. I'm in Mensa, but it's not my strong point. Not math, Mensa. The other Mensa. How is your math? Are you like me? Bad at it? I'm definitely bad at it. I feel like there's just like a synapse in my brain that's just like not, it's not working. Yeah, I gotta work hard to get any, like the most rudimentary math. It's very, it's frankly, it's embarrassing. It's the, it's the, it's the the the the the the the th the th th th the, it's, it's, it's the the the the the the the th thi thi the thi, it's thi, it's the the the the the other, it's the the the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thrown, it's th. Yeah, I gotta work hard to get any, like the most rudimentary math. It's very, it's frankly embarrassing. It is a little embarrassing. Yeah. So instead we're gonna talk about what we do know and instead that's the weird sex stuff.

Yes. That's right. Good stuff. It feels like it's been years since I've heard that theme. It really does. That's right. Good stuff. It's been years since I've heard that theme. It really does. Everything is moving too fast and we need to take time every now and then to do a bit of self-care in the form of our segment paging Dr. Lucy. In which we ask Lucy to dispense self-care. That is not how it works, is it? I don't think so. No. We talked several weeks ago about Slates how to do it column. I believe I believe we were

talking about the person the person who the person who's wife wanted to have a three-way with her own brother right and he was like that part's fine but could it make things awkward between oh my god good good stuff so here's a question from the same column and we're gonna throw the answer to Lucy should I pause my open marriage because of the coronavirus? Oh my goodness. Dear how to do it, my husband and I have an open marriage. My mother is immunocompromised.

Is it reasonable to ask my husband not to swap fluids with his girlfriend until the coronavirus blows over from risky business. I love that's the question you're asking. That's the problem you've taken. That's you th th that's th that's you've that's that's that's th that's business. I love that's the question you're asking. That's the problem you've taken away from this. Whose fluids should be coming into the house? Good grief. What do you think Lucy? I know we make fun of the Polly thing a lot, which to be clear is completely fine,

but it's these kinds of people and these kinds of questions where it's like, do you have any other hobbies? Like is your whole day devoted to like figuring out who you're going to have sex with and when? Like do anything else? Just... Also it's completely reasonable. I think that's a very reasonable request if this is a serious question. Right? It's a very reasonable request if this is a serious question.

Right? It's a reasonable request and just be like, I'll let you know when to start again. Yes. And then just don't, it just doesn't come up again. So how often is this happening? This is what I don't understand the logistics, like, does he live at home with you and then he goes and sees his girlfriend very regularly? Do you have a boyfriend? Does the husband and the girlfriend visit her mother? Does he bring the girlfriend around to like grandma's house? Bringing Debbie to Sunday dinner. Yeah, I guess here's how I imagine it, right? I imagine that if you are like,

we're in an open marriage and I have a girlfriend now, that if number one, that if only one of you are seeing somebody else and that goes on for enough, that it's like, hey. You're a tuck in a scenario, 100%. No, I'm pausing my stuff as well, don't you worry. No, no, my stuff's all on pause. Yep. That's what's it.

Being the big person here. Where do you hit the big pause button? Hit the big pause button. But I would also imagine that if you were like, we have an open marriage and I have a girlfriend. I'm going over to her place tonight and also tomorrow night and then the night after the night after that and then for the next four nights that at some point you'd be like I kind of feel like you're married to her. Surely there's a ratio is what I'm saying. Surely there's a point at which you're like, this is tipped over into now I'm the girlfriend and she's your wife. You know? Just sounds like a whole lot of stress.

It sounds like too much stress. Just pause anything. You don't need to be socializing. You don't need to be doing any of this at any point. Get any other hobby. Any other hobby? Anything else. Just watch a movie. Watch some anime. I've said it before and I'll say it again. There's plenty of anime out there. Well, there's something else you could be doing, but unfortunately that has also been affected by D'Orona. This is from Business Insider. For regulars of one monthly San Francisco gathering, the coronavirus outbreak is striking especially close to home.

The city's non-sexual cuddle party has been canceled. Don't ever say that phrase that. It it it that. It that. It that. It's that. It's that. It's thiii, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. Well, thi, thi, thi, th. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's that that that that that theeeanan. thean. thean. there's there's there's there's thi's thi's thi. thi. The city's non-sexual cuddle party has been cancelled. Don't ever say that phrase to me ever again. It's so offensive. You mean non-sexual cuddle party. You got to smile while you say it. I hate everything. I want to be dead. You got to smile like someone who has to stay 500 meters away from school.

Every guy there just has like a free hug sign. This is why the tech industry is a social dead end, because they have to construct whatever the fuck this is to like supplant. Like a multi-vitam for social interaction because they haven't been getting any of it. Is it, I am... I dispute your assertion, Lucy, and I imagine that this is the one place that the guys with free hug signs can put the signs down. They get to just, you know, they come in and they take the coat off and they hang the coat up and then they just slot their free hug sign in with all the other ones in

the cupboard. Because this is the only space where other people have already the their to be to be to be their to be to be their to be their their to be their thoom. tho. thi. thi. their thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. the. the. tho. th. This is tho. This is their their their their th. This is th. This is th. This is th. This is th. This is thi. This is thi. thi. thi. This is thi. thi. thi. This is thi. This is thi. I thi. This is the. I the. This is a the. I the. It is a the. It is a the. I theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean. Soeeeeeeeeean. Soe. So. So, the. So, the cupboard. Because this is the only space where other people have already consented to the hugs. They don't have to beg them with a sign. Oh my god, I hate it. Non-sexual cuddling. It's like very low on my list of things I ever want to do. Also, you cannot even begin to convince me that there is not a bona going on anywhere at that partthere is not a boner going on. There's not some kind of sexual aspect to this, right? Get the fuck out of you. They're really just like hopping in their car afterwards, just flooring it to get home as fast as they can. I gotta get back there while there smells still on me.

Oh, no. Continuing here, the organizer of the Cuddle Party Organization's San Francisco Branch, Dr. Yoni Alcan. We are aware of the word Yoni, right? Yeah, we are. I'm sorry, that could just be her name. Oh, my goodness. That's... I couldn't get through that one.

Dr. Yoni Alkin told Business Insider that the next scheduled couple parties later for Saturday, March 14th has been cancelled due to coronavirus concerns. Alkin said the March event is the only one to be canceled for now in an effort to follow the city's recommendation to avoid mass gatherings and practice social distancing. These events are an intimate, non-sexual gathering lasting three to four hours where strangers meet practice consent and enjoy human touch at an undisclosed private venue. I love to practice consent and do human touching at a black site. Performing human touching.

Perform human touching. Sorry, I'm just imagining. Once again, the house from eyes wide shut, except they're all fully clothed. Or sitting in one room that's just like well lit. And hugging, yeah. Oh, god damn. I love, I love doing non-sexual touching in an undisclosed location. That is so...

Imagine you went to one of these parties. You got all dressed up, you get there, then you're like, what fucking this is I bought the jumbo I bought the jumbo loo because I thought you were joking this robe cost me $78 dollars oh I fucking all right I hate this next sentence even more um I feel like in the last couple of weeks we we use the phrase like mandatory fun about offices and we all grown you know about this the thu thu, you this. you this this this this this this this th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. you th th. thus thus thus thus the the the the the the th. I the th. I th th. I the that th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I the the th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. I thumb. thumb. I thumb. I thi thi of weeks we we use the phrase like mandatory fun About offices and we all groaned You know about anything anything when they make you go out and do a thing. I think this may have just surpassed that my personal lexicon of hated phrases These events are part of a trend in the city known as organized intimacy

Oh my god. It's the saddest shit I've ever heard. Organized intimacy. This is like either, surely it's either for mad, mad insoles and spinsters and shit, or it's for raw water drinking people with Zuckerberg brain. For sure. I need to figure out how to reconnect with other humans. I live such an isolated life. I mean we use social media and we

can talk to anyone all across the world but in a lot of ways we are more alone than ever. That is so true. That is absolutely true. That's the perfect pitch for the non-sexual cuddle party really isn't it? I'm 100% imagining that that is how they sell this fucking thing. Oh, god damn. They are generally held once a month with around 30 people, typically in attendance. I bet these cost money. Please just hire a sex worker. You don't need to do this. Even if it's for, like, non-sexual touching, hire a sex worker anyway, put some money back in the economy. God damn. Yeah that's right. Respect

sex workers and pay them for their services even if that is that you would like to have a nice conversation and just put your arm around somebody's shoulder, maybe have a little hug, you just want a spoon, pretend you don't have a boner? Get the fuck out of here. Get out of here. Come on. Wait, she can feel it. Crushingly, the ATL orgy is also cancelled. It's just bad news after bad news.

Here is the post from its founder, Sydney Green, with the letterhead, erotic sleepover presented by Total Liberation. Due to the coronavirus crisis, erotic sleepover 2020 is cancelled, all caps. Here's the statement from Sydney. It is vital to me that each guest feels, all capitals, safe, while on route and at my events. With all this fear surrounding the scare quotes, virus, I don't see how this is possible. Even though I believe this whole thing is fake. Wow. I cannot ignore the concerns of my supporters. We have never canceled an erotic sleepover slash ATL orgy before, but

due to the fears of our guests, we have no choice but to postpone slash cancel June's event. June's event. June! Wow. Really getting in advance over this. Getting out in front of this thing. Oh, seriously. We are not happy about this and cannot wait for virus to vanish into thin air like all others before it. Not sure what that means. Remember how measles vanished into thin air at some point? Let's because we all kind of just got together and went, hey, let's not be scared

of this anymore. And then a curse was lifted. Remember how influenza was the thing for a while? And now it's gone, vanished within it. Yeah, because we practice self-care now. That's right. We orgied it away. They continue.

I know the power of fear and how it can create illnesses where there are none. That's the scarecrow. That's the scarecrow from Batman. So again, I am left with no choice but to begin planning for 2021. 2021? Jesus, just put it back on it. Fuckin out. P.S. I stand strong in my unpopular views, but as a host I must put the views of my guests above my own, with much love and regret Sydney G. So what is erotic sleepover 2020? I believe it's an orgy. Like all night?

You'll go to a house and fuck. I mean, you can just do that, you can just do that you can just do that yourself just call up some friends. I'm gonna arrive and kiss someone on the cheek and just immediately go get one of the beds and go to sleep. Do you mind? I had to get a babysitter for this. Gonna get I am gonna get a full night sleep god damn it. Oh my goodness. World has gone crazy. Corona madness. Orgies cancelled.

Non-sexual organized intimacy events going off the rails. We hope none of you have coronavirus also. That also seems bad. Unless you go to the cuddle party in which case you kind of deserve it Yikes if anybody who does attend those cuddle parties hears this and gets the coronavirus and writes to me I will apologize to you You can write to me at mail bag at winter vista dot com You can also if you would like an extra episode. You can also if you would like an extra episode to you? I? Oh, I oh! Oh, you, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I to, I to, I to, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, in, in, in, in, in, to to kind, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that try try tell try try try to kind kind kind to kind to kind to kind to to thatbag at Buentevista.com. You can also, if you would like an extra episode of the show, every god damn week. You can go to Patrion.com slash Buntavista. Slap down five American dollars a month and join...

You can join our discord. You can join our little community, you know? You can see how all our listeners are freaking out about the coronavirus. I don't know what they're doing in there actually, Theo. Are they going nuts? Are they freaking out? What's going on? In... Oh look, who's to say? I'm sorry, I was kind of tuned out there for a second. What are we talking about again? I thought you closed the... You goddamn sorry, no I accidentally opened Twitter again. You fucking... Sorry, oh man, I was gone so well. Social distancing.

Like an hour in. Here's Theo practicing, uh, social and mental distancing as is appropriate. I got a brain that's not good, sorry. And the Corona isn't helping. So thanks for being with us, folks. Catch us on those bonus episodes. Actually, go and check out the old Patreon, because for the following month,

we're going to be having a social distancing month, in which we're going to unlock all of the new bonus episodes we put out. So so that you can have twice as much material for free and hey if you like them maybe you'll keep going maybe you won't that's up to you we'll also crack out some ones from the from the archive some good bonus episodes in the archive let us know if there's one you really want yep we will unfasten the brass straps of the archive. Let some of them swing free, you know? I do know. Non-sexually.

You can non-sexually interact with some of our previous episodes. So you know, we know a lot of people are going to be spending a lot more time at home or by themselves than they normally would, and we would like to make as much content available for you as possible. Please go and check it out at Patreon.com slash Buntavista. And that's it for us. Thanks very much. Don't panic a little bit. Panic a little bit. Don't do it out at the store where it's embarrassing. Yeah, please don't get filmed. Don't get filmed fighting over toilet paper for the rest of us. Don't get film fighting over toilet paper or pasta sauce or whatever you will look like goddamn fool. You'll be online and we'll be like, look at this clown.

Fucking this guy. If we see it we will say they don't listen to our show to anybody who's listening. So that's it for us. So th. T th. T th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. The th. The th. The th. The th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho. T. The the the tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their to to to to to toooooooile toile toile toilet toilet toilet toilet too toilet too safe. Be good. I hear a siren in the background. Yeah, that's me. That's terrible. That's the fire department. Oh, we better go. See everybody. Bye. Bye. you