Boonta Vista - EPISODE 146: Neck-Measuring Contest

Episode Date: April 28, 2020

Andrew, Lucy, and Ben check out all the latest news in Australia's thriving racistly-cracking-a-whip-at-Chinese-people industry, and learn some nice things about flamingos. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to Bonny Vista episode 146. My name is Andrew and I'm currently at the Hoyts cinema and I'm being told by the staff here that they are not letting people in for what I understood to be the scheduled world premiere of trolls two, trolls world tour. Frankly I'm very upset my liberties being taken away. I'm going to protest this the only way that any reasonable person knows how. To this point that I'm turning to my friend Ben and informing him that we are going to go back to my house to get my bull whip. Oh no.

You know, I didn't even want to see trolls two, trolls world tour. You told me that I had to come see this with you. I don't know if I feel strongly enough about this to try and intimidate or even assault the staff of this Hoyt cinema. Oh so you don't care about freedom, is that it? I think freedom is great. I don't necessarily care about trolls to trolls world tour. I think I think really the title is just trolls world tour. It is, but I didn't want to correct you because you had started it that way and I thought it would be nice to go to go to go to go to go to go to go th. I that it that it that it that it that it that that that th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. I that. I that. that. I don't th. I don't th is great it is great it is great it is great it is great it is great it is great it is great it is great it is great it that it that it that it that it that it that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I try. I try. I try. I try. I try. I try. I don't try. try. try trya. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. I thea. the and I thought it would be nicer to go along with it. It's more contextualizing it for people who aren't big troll heads. Oh you think if you just had trolls world tour? People would be like, that might be the first trolls movie.

And they'd be wrong. They would absolutely be wrong. This isn't Poppy and Branch's first rodeo. Oh. And coming back over from the concession stand. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, t..... t. troll. troll. I pride myself for that. And coming back over from the concession stand with a whole bunch of popcorn and coke that we made her buy, it's Lucy. I would never buy things from the concession stand. Really?

You know it's not against the rules to bring your own food in. I feel like nobody knows this. They can't stop you and they won't stop you. You can take in beers. That is technically a crime depending on the cinema that you're out, but you can do it. Some of them do sell beer so you can take your own and just... Pretend that it's theirs. You can research online before you go to the movie what brands of beers that they sell. It's 100% going to be their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi's thease thease thease thease the. theatease thease thease the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. te. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea's is crown locker, I can tell you that. So you can bring your own crown lagers, so it's going to look fine. Sneaking in a six pack of bogs premium. Exactly. Han light.

No, no, I definitely bought this here. Look at it. You think I... I wouldn't buy these from home. So why are the trolls musicians? Oh, why are they musicians? Were the troll toys like music-based? I feel like I'm really missing out on a whole piece of troll lore. No, I think, I assume that they just had to give them something.

So basically in the first movie, they just like to party. They like to party, they like to hug and have fun, things like that, you...... You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. So. So. So. So, theeeeee just like to party. They like to party, they like to hug and have fun, things like that, you know. You are a dad, so you've probably seen the Trolls movie. Oh, I've seen it. So there's a whole bunch of times. And I'll say this, for trolls and Trollsthe animated movies that you might be forced to watch by your kids, let's say for example, the Queen's Corgie. That is a real animated movie. He made that up. Secret last pets.

That's the name of the movie? The Queen's Corky? The Queen's Corgie. Okay. And the movie has, for some reason, a movie that I meant to show to my four-year-old has Donald Trump and Ivanka Trump in it in animated form I don't I assume it's not their voices and it has like a grab them by the pussy joke are you being serious yes it had because that because it's cats and dogs in the movie oh my goodness one of them's like makes a it is a very clearly. It is a very clearly? It is a very clear? It is a very clear? It's. It's. It is. It is. It is. It is a? It is a? It is a? It is a? It is a? It is a? It is a the. It is a the. It is a the. It is a the. It is a the. It is a the. It is a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I their? I their? I? I? I? I? I. I? I. I. I. I. I? I. I. I. I. I? I. I? I. I. I. I? I. I. I. I. I? I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is a the. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is a. It is a. It is. It is a. It is a the. It is a the. It is a the. It is a the. it's cats and dogs in the movie. Oh my goodness.

One of them's like makes a it is a very clearly grab grab the pussy joke. Is it a cat saying I hope they don't grab me? I can't remember that. It might have even been either a ravanka or Donald urging one of the pets, which is not great. So like, you know, from that perspective, many worse things that you could show to your kids than Trolls and Trolls World Tour. And Trolls World Tour has lots of fun musicians in it. It's got a buddy George Clinton, it's got Anderson Park.

This has been your paid commercial for a Charles World Tour. This is sponsored content, we should probably send it up the top. And that's why I wanted to see the movie. And they're telling me because of this coronavirus thing, whatever the fuck that is, that I can't come in here with all the popcorn that I made Lucy put on her credit card. Can I just, and I hate to try and I'm not looking to tear apart the logic of this beautiful intro that you improvised in the space of, you know, here we can, 30 seconds. So they're not letting us into the cinema to see the movie, but the concession stand is open.

Oh yeah, the whole thing's open. You can't you you you you you you you you you you th. And you can th. And you can th. You can th. You can go right right right right right th. You can go th. You can go th. You can go right th. You can go right th. You can go th tho tho tho tho thi the the tho tho tho tho tho th. You can go thoom. tho. tho. tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho the their their their their their th. And you th. And you th. And you th. And you th. And you th. And you th. And you th. th. th., well, no, they've got the times, they got the times up on the board. And I come up and I'm like, they're not tied that off. Three tickets for the 3.30 showing of Trolls World Tour, which you, if you're not familiar, might know as trolls too. And then they say at that that, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, thi, thi, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and I. And, and I. And, their, their, their, their, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, thi. And, thi. And, that, that, that, that. And, that. And, that. And, that. And, today, today, today, that. And, that. And, that. And, that. And, that movies here, which is unnecessary. I would enjoy that movie popcorn right now. I'll say that. Take your $60 worth of popcorn. It's pure salt. You can't... I was having this discussion about popcorn recently at home,

which is that we frequently buy microwave popcorn. My kids love that shit, and who wouldn't? It fucking rules. Honestly, like, microwave popcorn is the tthat shit and who wouldn't. It's fucking rules. Honestly like microwave popcorn is the tits. It's pretty good. Well and as a as a person who likes to cook, oh anyone can cook for his laugh, food is laugh. So as a person who likes to cook, let me just say it is beyond insane the amount of effort you have to go to to try to replicate that level of like salty, buttery popcorn at home. You can, it involves things like cooking popcorn from kernel form in like a whole lot of clarified butter.

You can't do it in normal butter because it burns so you need like some gee, some clarified butter. You need to like make sense. You got to do it a particular way so that like, you know, the shit sticks to the popcorn, but the popcorn isn't soggy and all that sort of stuff. It's so much effort and then you will eat it and you'll be like like no the the the the the the popcorn isn't soggy, and all that sort of stuff. It's so much effort, and then you will eat it, and you'll be like, no one year is good. Certain things you can't recreate at home. Yeah, and to me, going and paying $0.15 for my $0.06

$0.00. to $0.5, $0. $0. $0. $0.00.00, $0.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00. experience. You can pay extra, you can get that limited edition Avengers bucket or whatever it is. With the, that's got the, the guy's, the glove guy on it with the gems. Mr. Glove. Mr. Glove and his glove gems. No, it's Mr. Glove. Mr. Glove and the sparkles. That's right. A friend of mine who works at a cinema chain here because they like they closed up like a week before any of the restrictions closed up or whatever they were just like nope heaps of people are still coming here. A lot of them are elderly people.

This is super irresponsible. We're just going to shut the doors. So they all shut up and they were like, huh, a bunch of equipment in here that's not being used. So she has taken a like $20,000 cinema projector that is like the size of four shoeboxes and set it up in her bedroom and set it up in her bedroom to project stuff that's like eight fit away so she can play switch in a room. Just like an insane piece of cinema equipment but she's like I'll take that. Whereas like all I've been able to do is steal a bunch of board games from Netherworld which has also been good but not quite quite that cool yeah you know. Yes folks that's right because I cannot see trolls to trolls world tour the troll inning at this time I'm incensed and I'm gonna protest this the way that we protest things in Australia

I'm going to get my bullwhip and shout some racist stuff It's the way we do things down under am I right? Yep, it's a tried and tested a form of personal expression Am I right? Yep, it's a tried and tested Form of personal expression Time honoured form of protest We saw that this week when was it this week? No I believe this incident happened at the start of April

The initial incident. So the initial incident that we're talking about here is a man named Raymond Kelly. That's Raymond with an eye. Yep. Where would you think if I said Raymond with an eye, where would you think the eye was going? I mean, surely it's... Oh no, you're making me a second guess myself. Has it got it in place of the E or is it after the A?

Well, there's no E in Raymond. Wait, hang on, sorry, in place of the O? How do you usually spell Raymond? It is much like the beloved? How do you usually spell Raymond? No, it is much like the much like the beloved model combat character Raiden. It is RAI, M-O-N-D. Ramon. Ra-M-O-N-D. Ramon, Kelly, and he he got pretty mad and due to being, I guess, a gigantic racist. He decided to take his big whip down to the consulate general of the People's Republic of China in Sydney, and crack his whip at them out the front and yell invective.

Once again, time on an approach to just sorting things out. Now, I know that we often say on this show that one of the things that you want to do when you're in Australia and there is a problem, you want to resort to the traditional method of getting on the blower and sorting it out. But sometimes the blower doesn't cut it. You know? Sometimes you get on the blower and they say, okay. And then I hang up the blower and then you're left sitting there. They say, so there's real people who want to call through on this line. Stop bothering us. And you say, hey, no thank you.

What can I do that's really gonna get some eyes on my cause? Should we listen to a little clip here and see? Like let's try and try to hear a bit more about Raymond's cause. Should we paint a scene here visually for what's going on? I know that podcast are an audio medium and this is a video. Yeah, I've been making very exaggerated facial expressions this whole time playing to the cheap seats. Oh, it's all right it comes through in the audio. I'm doing a lot of hand motions. Ah. I th illustrated. I th illustrated. I th illustrated. I th. I thane thane perfectly perfectly perfectly perfectly perfectly thi. I thane perfectly thi. I thi. I can can can can can can can can c. I can c. I can c. I can't the. I'm thathing thathing to to to to to the. the. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Should. Should. Should. Should. Should. Should. Should. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. the. to the. to to toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. to toa. to to tha. the the cheap seats. Oh, it's all right, it comes through in the audio. I'm doing a lot of hand motions. Ah. I'm pretty illustrated.

I'm staying perfectly still, conserving my energy for thoughts. Jazz hands, all that kind of thing. So he's in the driveway of the Chinese consulate in Sydney, in front of the sort of the bollards that are meant to stop people from doing ram raids and he is cracking his whip you know it's sort of he's not doing a full crack he's keeping it low he's not hold on can you can you define a full crack for me well he'd be raising it up higher and he'd be doing it sort of further he goes into this on his own Facebook where he's talking about how he kept it quite low to the ground because he was like I'm not try to hurt anyone but I mean in the context of what he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the he the the the to be to be the the the the to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He th. He's th. He's th. He's their their the. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. theeeeeeeee. thee. their their their the's talking about how he kept it quite low to the ground because he was like, I'm not trying to hurt anyone, but I mean, in the

context of what he's doing, he's doing just a kind of weak whipping motion, but he's still doing it and he's doing it about 10 feet away from people that are lined up to get into the consulate who was probably seeking some sort of advice about their situation given that this was you know when all the restrictions on people that were overseas just started coming in. So there are a bunch of people there that probably fucking terrified because this is Australian, weird Australian fucking Wolf Creek looking dude just screaming shit and cracking a fucking whip at him. It seems he's largely directing most of this at a security guard that is standing there but not doing anything. No one is interacting with him.

Also he doesn't want to. It doesn't remark upon it in the video, but during the portion that he's doing this, someone is throwing eggs at him? Yes, I was trying to figure out what that was. It feels like each time one gets thrown, he turns away just before it slaps under the pavement near him, like he's just not quite seeing that they're there. So you might think to yourself, if you're going to do something like this, you've probably got something really important to say, you know, something really serious. So let's have a little listen and see if we can see if we can con on to what kind of really important things this guy is saying. Felty fucking comies!

Felty fucking comics! Trulty fucking tak over the fuckers! No more! I'm a Kelly not over it! We'll get you! We'll get you, we'll get you. Go get you, fuckers. We'll get you. We'll get you.

We'll get it. We know it's stupid. Think of both stupid. This what? We know it's deliberate. We know it's deliberate. We... We know it's deliberate. We know it's deliberate! We know it's deliberate! We know it's deliberate. You know where you're wearing your mask. You know where you're

wearing your mask. You know you're wearing your mask. You knew about it. You knew about it. You knew about it. Your plan. Your plan. It's a fucking plan. Wake up. Wake up Australia. The fucking plans. I'm on you. I'm on you.

I know you're fucking delivering me release this virus. I'm sad that that didn't include the part where he said, you know what, it's called COVID-19? It's because there are 18 other versions. Oh, no, boy. That is not why it's called that. It's pretty violent, to be honest. It's amazing what you can just get away with if you're a white guy. Yeah, because he, like Ben said, he's, he is standing there,

you know, there's a table that people are like putting things down on writing forms and stuff, but it's a, it's like a roped off waiting queue to get into this thing, and he is standing as Ben said about, I would say, six to ten feet. He's pacing back and forth like an agitated animal, and looking directly at all of these people as he cracks the whip at them and says, as we heard, we'll get you, we'll fucking get you. Just cracking a whip. Yeah, yeah. I don't know about anybody else, but I really don't want to get him with a whip.

No, if someone was doing that to me, I would probably get the fuck out of there. I am incredibly impressed by the group of people that are just like standing there ignoring him. I would have been shit in my fucking pants. Very much. So, you know, super cool guy, got it all going on, got it all together. Yeah, he sounds really sane and good. And that's certainly the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind kind kind kind the kind kind kind the kind kind kind kind kind the kind kind the kind kind kind the kind the kind kind kind the kind kind the kind kind kind kind kind kind th kind of kind of kind of kind of kind of kind th kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind of kind of kind of kind of kind of kind of kind of kind of kind of person together. Really get this message out there. Yeah, he sounds really sane and good and that's certainly the kind of person I want to have on the streets with a big whip. Well you might be thinking yourself, this guy is really effectively communicating his message

to the world. He has been captured on video, it's been posted online. Even more people have been able to see this message and get psyched up about it. You know, his positive message that he's taking to the world. But apparently the Daily Telegraph, beloved newspaper of Racists, Australia White, the Daily Telegraph took a look at this video and they said, We need to amplify this voice. And the whip probably. We need to hold a microphone up to the whip. Because they decided to do a nice little puff piece on this guy.

Lucy, why don't you tell our listeners what the headline of this article is? Uh, the headline of this puff piece, why I really cracked it. Uh, perhaps we should explain that cracked it is also, it can be slaying for a... Cracking the Shits, which means... Chuck and a Barney, you know? Yeah, Shack and Fit having a real Barney. And we might have to also explain that the only thing that can make sub-edit has come is if a headline means two things.

Oh! Love it! Ordinarily I would like this, for this certain publication it's often to refer to something that is incredibly awful or violent or just generally terrible. Oh yeah nice double standard so you like something until it's racist. Pretty weird. Pretty weird. A real open-minded person should love something even if it's racist. Oh that's where the eye is in Raymond you know not not where I thought at all. It's a surprise eye.

So, luckily they've let us know that this is an exclusive because I'm sure lots of other people were clamoring for this piece. Brendan Hill writes, Raymond Kelly reckons he just used a quintessentially Australian method to express his anger at the Chinese government over their handling of the COVID-19 crisis. The 55-year-old repeatedly cracked his stock whip to punctuate the very colourful language he was yelling outside China's consulate in Sydney. Now if I recall correctly from several minutes ago, that colorful language included,

we'll fucking get you death to communism. We know you did this deliberately. It's just colorful language. Very colorful, so many colors. I will know that he said I'm a Kelly and I assume he meant that he is much like Ned Kelly. I was wondering about that myself. I guess that's, that is the only inference you can draw from that, right? Yeah, but, uh, Kelly Slater.

He is, I am like a Kelly Slater. I'm all so cool. I'm cool and I hanged in. Perhaps he's related to the gravy man, Paul Kelly himself. Perhaps. So, um, so, you know, the important thing is in this situation where one man has screamed invective at a bunch of silent people going out about their business is that we have to hear both sides by asking

the screaming man what he was screaming about. As a survivor of leukemia and several other serious illnesses, Mr. Kelly is well aware of the virus's potential to kill people with compromised immune systems. Quote, I was just outraged by China's denial and cover-up so I needed to let them know, Mr. Kelly said. Let them know. Let them know. You let China know. A letter wasn't going to do it. Well, as we'll find, I think he very deeply believes that President Jijinping is personally watching the video feed from outside the Chinese consulate. Nothing I said was racist. My anger was politically motivated. I've always had a thing about standing up to bullies.

And I just wanted to stand in front of those security cameras and have them capture me saying, Hey, Chinese government, this is your fault. So get this up yet. There's nothing that says standing up to bullies, like menacing a bunch of unarmed strangers. Just standing outside with a whip. With your stock whip. When you do that to people, they go, finally, someone's standing up to me? Me or someone else? Random Chinese person.

Not sure who's being stood up to here, but it feels right, you know? It feels right, feels good. So that is exactly what Mr. Kelly did at about 1035 AM on March 31st. 1035 AM. He googled the camper down location of the consulate, got his stock whip and drove there from his DY apartment on Sydney's northern beaches. I feel like I hear about DY a lot in the news. I don't even know what DY is but I've heard the words a lot in my life. Probably one of the dumber names of the Sydney suburbs, you DY. the DY. Lucy, you say DY. Why?'re D-Y. Mm-hmm. Lucy, you say D-Y-N-Y.

I say D-Y-N-O. Fuck. Mm-hmm. I parked around 100 meters down the road, and then I deliberately placed myself away from people and facing security cameras facing the front door, Mr. Kelly said. If away from people, he means six feet away from the only people who are there. Facing directly towards the cracking the loop in their direction. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking, I was thinking this is going to be a direct link to Beijing if

I'm lucky. Wouldn't it be fucking awesome if like that was the way that you could just speak directly to the leader of a country is that you just go down to their embassy and stand out the front? Like in front of the camera, not in front of the doors. He's a thinker. I used to be able to get the flavor of noodles that I really like at the local shop. You're not stocking them anymore. That's me yelling out of the front of the Korean embassy.

Don't worry, you'll get your oriental magi noodles. Are they still called oriental? They've got the... I reckon they might still sell the sauce. I reckon they do. That's... that would be such an Australian thing wouldn't it? Sure would be. Oh, hold on. I'm checking. You can still but but oh no, now it's just called Magi Original Seasoning. Oh. Oh. Maybe they legally had to change it because there's no longer from the Orient. Time to boycott it. Get my whip.

So the message got through when a security guard on the other side of the razor wire and bollards threatened to call the police. Mr. Kelly was charged with stalking and being armed with intent to commit an indictable offense. After leaving the embassy he drove to the D.Y. police station and reported himself. Reflecting on the incident, Mr. Kelly said, if I had a loud hailer, I would have taken the the guard the to the to the to to to to the guard to to the to to the the guard to the to to to the the security the security to to the security the security the security to to to the security to to to to to to to get the security guard to to to to to to to to to to to to the security the security guard the security guard the security guard the security guard the security guard the security guard the security guard to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they guard. I, to they guard they guard they guard they guard they guard they. I would have the DY police station and reported himself. Hmm. Reflecting on the incident, Mr. Kelly said, if I had a loud hailer, I would have taken that over the whip to avoid all this armed with intent business. What's a loud hailer? Like a speaker? Megafone?

Yeah. Loud speaker. A bullhorn type thing. The funny thing is, I feel like with or without the whip, his voice is the same volume. So kind of could have done without the whip either way? They could have just yelled. I feel like the whip was pretty unnecessary. Oh, but that's because he's, you know, true blue, rinky, dinky Dye, Ozzy Bloke from Beautiful DY.

It's a quintessentially Australian method to express your anger is to infer violence. He said he would also review his choice of words if he had his time over. I was getting pretty wound up, he said. The only person I threatened, I threatened to put a bullet in the general secretary's head. Oh my god. I don't own a gun. It was just colorful language. Never mind. Oh, so it's stolen valor.

Hmm. Tell me you're going to shoot me with a gun if you don't have a gun, pal. You better get a gun and point it at me. The allegation that his actions were motivated by racism has upset him the most. Oh, you'd hate for old Rayman Kelly to be upset, wouldn't you? Does he have Chinese friends, Andrew? Quote, I have Chinese friends, and nothing I said was racist. Oh, that clears it up then.

Yeah, I really like that yelling at a group of just ordinary people that they all knew, definitely doesn't, you know, opinion upon them. It's just, you know, a head of state state that he's critiking. Just great journalism here, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, the phrase, thiol-a, I have thiol-a, I have thi, I have thi, I have thi, I have thi, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I thi, I thi, I thi, I, I I, I I, I, I, I I I, I, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I thi. I, I thi. I, I, I thi. I have thi. I have thi. I have thi, I'm thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thii. thiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, I have, I havenip on them. It's just, you know, a head of state that he's critiquing. Just great journalism here too, just the phrase colourful words, just completely ignoring this like insanely racist rant that an extremely crazy man has been on. Oh yeah, like, you know, I'm sure. If it was someone they don't like, you know, you Ben laws and your Yasmin's or whatever, if they said the word shit on Twitter, they'd be like foul mouth, tyraid. And this guy's like, I'm gonna fucking murder this guy.

He's been colourful, he's being a bit cheeky. He's very Australian. He's having a laugh. He's having a laugh. He ain't having a laugh, ain't he? He ain't having a laugh. I don't know what the to-talk about is British. They are now. And that's why I think that it's very shameful that, like saying Lucy, at every possible turn here the journalist has framed it in exactly the context and the language that this guy wants to use. Yeah, they're not straight up saying he's right to do it, but they're like, ah, he's just frustrated, he's just getting a little wound up, he's using some colorful language.

Well, I mean, if we go through it an order, we start off by saying, Kelly reckons he used a quintessentially Australian method to express his anger. They don't interrogate whether or not it actually is, just he th is. Punctuated his colorful language, some might say, Some might say insanely racist and threatening. So I'd say racist, racist intimidating threats of violence. As a survivor of leukemia and blah blah blah, he is aware of the virus's potential to kill people. So a nice little bit of... Got a little bit of... Got a some sympathy for him. Yeah, you've got to have some sympathy because he, hey, hey, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, some, th say, some, some, th say, some, some, some, some, some, th say, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, say, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, thi, thi, thi, thi, say, say, thi, say, say, thi, say, thi, say, thi, thi, say, thi, thi, thi, say, thi people. So a nice little bit of, a nice little bit of, yeah, you gotta have some sympathy for him. Yeah, you gotta have some sympathy because he, hey, he could get killed by this,

so that's why you know, it's kind of okay. Yeah, he's just angry. You know, and then they let him say, uh, I was just outraged. You know, so racist and that goes completely unchallenged. You know, so it's good. It's good stuff basically. That's journalism. That's journalism, baby. I fucking love it. So he did go and post about it on Facebook, which Ben was kind enough to do the research for

and by research I mean having to read an insane racist posts all after me. You know what, no, it's not even the racism that was the worst part. I mean morally it's definitely the worst part. I mean the worst part for me. Was the jokes? Is that his job, I'm putting this in air quotes because I'm not sure if this is like one of th things where you get an ABN and you do it on the side and you claim that that's what your job is, but really you've got a full-time job where you're doing something completely different.

But he's a music promoter for the shittiest Australian fake American country acts that you have ever heard. So I have to like scroll past all these fucking horrible, like promoted posts and shit for weird events that they're doing or for tours or just bad band photos or whatever to find those fake bands like 30 odd foot of grunts I mean it's like it's like it's worse than that like just the thing where it's like middle-aged people trying to recreate the music they love when they were kid and the stick is just like so fucking awful but I mean that the shitty bands the they they they they they they they they they the they they the the th. th. they thrying to recreate the music they love when they were kid and the stick is just like so fucking awful but I mean that the shitty bands he

represents are not the story here he is so he posted about it on the 10th it a post that starts with I don't know is that emoji some sort of explosion I don't know what that one is I don't know a firework kind of thing bit of a firework maybe. Dear family, comma, and friends, love heart, love heart, people need to know the difference between racism and bigotry. Bigotry is about intolerance. When it comes to certain cultural practices and ideologies, I myself confess being it. When it comes to certain cultural practices and ideologies, mainly ones in China. When it comes to being Chinese, I do not like it.

I'm intolerant of cultural practices which spread diseases and terrorism. I intolerant of dictators, communists and stupid lefties. I'm intolerant of cultures and ideologies that abuse women, children and animals. Once again, the usual disclaimer I really out text from an insane person. Every noun that they don't like is a proper noun for some reason. That's got a capital at the start. Stupid lefties. Animals also a proper noun. Strange. Enough is enough. I was arrested by the Manly Police yesterday for my protest outside the Chinese consulate. I just want to point out for our international listeners that Manly is a place and not a characteristic of the officers.

The robust masculine police. I would love to be arrested by the manly police. Arrested by the manly police. Burley cops all showed up and flexed on me. They did a few reps, put me in cuffs. We watched a game together. It was great. Bodies like Zach Ephron and Baywatch. Chiseled out of stone. Those of you playing along at home might remember from five minutes ago

where we said in the article that he turned himself into the cops by going to the police station. I don't know if that's the same as saying I was arrested yesterday by the badly police. They kind of that implies, the cops came and nicked the Badling Police. They kind of, that implies, ah, the cops came and knicked me, not, I took a leisurely drive down to the police after doing my thing and said, hello, can you please arrest me? It definitely implies I got nicked. Yeah, they threw it up a patty wagon. I went down there and said I wanted to shoot the Secretary General of China in the head with a gun. Mm-hmm. That was me. I did that.

It's definitely, I found the security cameras and yelled directly at them so there might be footage of me doing it. He, he posts about this a lot. It's been cracking lots of whip jokes, if you'll pardon the unintentional pun. Oh, cool. I didn't do that on purpose. He, it's been posting Devo's Whipit more than once. Fuck it. That, I know, it's very awful.

He's also... I should, hold on, I should just note that he says, looking forward to my day in manly court. Me too, Raymond. A big yoked judge in a sleeveless robe. He's wearing like a fucking one of those Hulkimania muscle teas over his robe. Imagine just a jack judge. Can you even picture a fucking massive hunk of a judge? Would you be able to tell? Would you be able to tell underneath the robe you reckon? I think you would. He would be like so jack that you could tell underneath the robe you reckon? I think you would and he would be like so jack that you could tell. Maybe fucking I don't think I can name any of the

Supreme Court judges Clancy Thomas is he one? Is he still alive? Is he still a judge? Don't I? Ruth Bedrick Ginsburg. All I know is the ones that they uses jokes in Futurama and none of the others. But maybe, maybe underneath the robe they are just fucking stacked, stacked on stacks on stack. They're manly. Make tighter fitting robes. Come on. Show off those boards. Show us those gaids.

Yeah, so he's posted a lot about his feelings about coronavirus, but he's also sort of used this as an opportunity to launch his comedy crew. He's been doing some little riffs and bits. I'm going to give you two jokes in a row of his. So one was posted on the 15th March, the other posted 10 days later on the 25th. Here we go. My thoughts on the coronavirus. I haven't even had a touch of Carola wink, but I'm afraid that it starts evolving into a Camry and if it turns into a fully blown land cruiser then that thing is going to follow you everywhere and last forever. Man in cowboy hat smirking thumbs up emoji.

Oh what a feeling, teeth clenched emoji. Oh what a feeling. Okay, so that was a little rough, but I think he really did. Come on, give us the gold material. He's taking a second crack at this. So this is the one from 25 March. Fireworks emoji. The news, fireworks emoji.

The latest Corona update, it is now a Camry. Oh, it was, it's just some throwback, it's some callback humor, I see. Well, I think he's trying to tighten it up. He's really leading on, Corona sounds like Carola. So everybody else, at about this time what it was happening was doing the, you mean like the beer jokes? Because it's the same word, Corona, Corona. Same word. He's gone.

What if instead of Corona it was Corolla? Like the car met a fashion by Toyota. To be fair, the Toyota Corona is a model of car. Oh, is that true? Is it? Yes. Toyota Corona was in production from 1957 to 2001. I would like to apologize to the listeners and most of all, to write-meant.

Well, I would like to pass judgment on this joke and say that if you were going to try and perform this transition from model to to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to the model to the model to the model, is. Is. Is. Is. Is the model, is, is, is, is, is, is their, is their, is their, is their, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is their, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is a, is a, is a thiii. Yes. It. It. It, is a thi. It, is a thri. throwne. to throwne. the the the throea.oea. Yes, is a the the throe. Yes, is a throwne. Yes, is a to pass judgment on this joke and say that if you were going to try and perform this transition from model to car to model to car, should have started off with Corona and then gone to the Toyota Karina. Then to Korola, you know, you smooth the transition between them and then. You could have gone a lot of different ways. But I guess the issue is that I feel like he's really focusing his jokes, a little too tightly on people who are real Toyota officionados. My main issue is that Raymond is a huge piece of shit.

Mm-hmm. I just, this whole post makes me so angry because there's a million posts like this that say say things like I'm intolerant of cultures that abuse women, children and animals. You can almost guarantee I would bet money on the fact that if you go further down in his post he has a post about hating feminism and he 100% makes jokes about hating vegans. So none of this means anything. Imagine what he has to say about the inclusion of bacon into an otherwise ordinary meal. Mm-hmm. Can I read you another one of his little spoofs,

his little goof about? I would love that. Because I... Okay, I'll just read the two. This is from 19th, March. Here we go. Political correctness is like a used condom. I just piss it off. That's beautiful. Now... Like, mm-mm. Okay, so can I ask a, can I ask a question before we go any further with this?

Yeah. Now, regular listeners of the show will know that I am married. I have children, I've been in a monogamous relationship for a very long time, which means that it has been many, many moons since I have felt the touch of the latex. Right. So, you know, it's been, it's been, it's been a, it's been, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a the the, it's a the, it's a the, it's a the, it's a the, it's a the, it's a the, it's a the, it's a the, it. Now, it's a the, it's a the, it. the, it. the, it. the, it. the, it. the, it. It. It's, it. It. It. It. It's, it. It. It. It's, it. It's, it. It's a, it. It's a, it. It's a, it. It's a, it's a the, it's a the, it's a the, it's a the, it's a the, it's a the, it's a the, it's a the the the, it's a the the, it's the the the the, the the, the, the the the, the, the the, the, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, it's time, which means that it has been many, many moons since I have felt the touch of the latex. So you know, it's been a long time since I've been in the condom zone. However, and you know why? Because condoms are the devil's skin. Oh God, please don't listen to this man. There are lots of reasons

you can wear a condom and even if you're in a monogamous relationship you might even have reasons for wearing them now. Don't listen to him to him. Yeah wear him for fun because you don't like how sex feels. Anyway don't take him public health advice from this man thank you when I did use condoms for intercourse, as we call it, down under, what's this, I would, I would pull it off my penis and then throw it away afterwards. What's this concept? So he's, he's saying that he would just then pierce and I think he means piss it up like he just throws it away. Yeah it's a

terrible analogy it's just like it's just like a garbage bag I just pissed it off. Yeah because it's not it's not like he could be using piss it off in the sense of I just got rid of it. All I can think about is how much mess it would make if you just started peeing inside a used condom that was attached to your penis. I think the ceiling of condom is quite good I think that it would fill with a fair amount of piss before it started to come off I'm so sorry what happens when it comes off are podcast. Are you outside? Are you standing over the total of ball? Why would you be outside?

What you mean you're physically pissing it off? Is it... Alright, I don't know how these things work. Well, I don't know if he understands how these things work. Or maybe he's operating on a much higher level than the rest of us? Maybe. Yeah, so let's say, let's say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th say, th th thi, thi, thu s thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi. thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. thi. thi. toooooi. th off of your flaccid penis I feel like that's probably a lot like a lot of but so it comes off let's say I are you in the bathroom are you over the toilet maybe he's in the shower maybe he's in the shower but then you got to pick it up and do something with it afterwards?

Just a nightmare scenario. I don't think he means any of this. Also I assume Raymond is married to some horrible woman and has never had to actually think about this for a very long time. I don't think he's married. Could I, I have a further question. Now, obviously, the first half of this joke is rock solid. The second half is where we're having the contention issues.

When he says that, so the second meaning, where he's saying that he just pisses off political correctness, piss it off doesn't really make sense. Political correctness isn't like an it. It doesn't get mad. People that's trying to... He's making the concept of political correctness angry at him personally. Oh, are we saying that he's using the other sense of piss it off, which is to get rid of it? I think he means it in a Gordon Ramsey sense, you know, just like, just fuck it off.

Yeah, just piss it off. Yeah. Piss it off. Alright, okay, so the most generous reading of this joke is that he's using piss it off in the same sense for both, which is to dismiss them. It's not very good. All right, don't give up your bloody day job, Raymond, which is using his Twitter account for Pacific Raptor promotions, his music promotions, either main job or side hustle, hard to say, he has previously worked to the Kenned's storage place, which fucking fits there, fucking shit.

He sounds like a real hustler. He uses his official Twitter account for that to reply to tweets such as a tweet from reporter Eliza Bar about a fire at a burger restaurant at Manly Wharf where he replied please don't blame it on there's five to six spaces. Climate change cry laugh emoji. Damn got her. Damn I bet he identifies as an attack helicopter. I bet when that part of the internet catches up with him in 10 years, he absolutely will. He'll get there eventually. My goodness. Funny guy. Thanks for it. Thanks for the last, Raymond. I look forward to his election as a candidate for the one nation party.

Oh god, I'm just accidentally whiled that into existence. A lot of his friends were saying you should take this to Pauline Hansen. Also like I didn't put these screenshots in because I mean they're kind of grim but like a lot of his friends were saying the the quiet part quite loud you know when he was like I pissed him off someone was like oh do you mean the cops or the the? Wow. Yep and then someone else was I mean I don't really want to repeat some of the stuff but essentially to the effect of we should just nuke the entirety of China. Yeah it's... look I don't want to say say th th th th th th th to say th th to say to say th to say to say th to say to say th th to say the to say the to say the the the to say the to say th th I th I th I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thi th I I I I I I th I I I I I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I the th I th I the th I thi thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi we should just nuke the entirety of China. Yeah, it's... Look, I don't want to say anything that sounds aggressive or grim, but I think these people should, they should die naturally of a disease very quickly. Wow.

It's very bad. I don't like any of it. This is the Australian... Actually, you know what, let's take a moment to note that I think that by and large, maybe I'm totally wrong. By and large, I feel like collectively Australia has reacted reasonably well to the COVID-19 pandemic, just in terms of trying to be reasonable. Like, obviously we've got fuck-witted opinion writers saying, hey, let's open the economy up and I want to shoot your grandmother with one of those bolt guns that they use for cattle.

You know, a lot of that sort of stuff, but it's a pretty thin minority of dipshits and they are being shouted at by everyone to shut up. And that's pretty good. I mean, looking around the world right now, we can see a lot of countries where they've... Oh, real bloody smug over there, aren't you? Yep, feels good. And if I got sick, I'd go to my doctor that pays me to go to see him. You know? Well, who's paying for it? Who's paying for it for it?

Uh, everyone else then it's great. Yeah, wouldn't that be nice? We're all, we're all paying for it together? Um, sounds communist. Remember that song? Remember that song by Ben Lee? I don't? I don't remember Ben Lee? B. B. Remember? Remember? Remember? B? Remember? B? that? B? that? that? B? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th. th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi? don't know, no I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, ah, ba, bad, ba, blah. Glad I'm not the only one who is just, like, that dude makes my skin crawl. Oh, I hate it. And if you haven't looked at him in years, adding 10 or 15 years to Ben Lee's face has not helped at all. Anyway, hey, that shit sucks. It's kind of funny, but it also sucks. But what if we told you about something that didn't suck? I belong,

Bulte and Husser, Nature Corner, rubber crab, snipped my dick. Oh, it's sniped my dick right off with its powerful pincers. That bastardly robber crab. Thank you of course to our beautiful listeners for that theme. The Nature Court theme. Ben, have you ever come across a story that made you feel so good that you wanted to talk about it on a podcast that you host? You know what, it's so funny that you asked that question. And before I give you the answer, spoiler alert, it's yes. Let me tell you that there were two

contenders for the Nature Corner tonight. The first one was a story about a German zoo announcing that pretty soon they might have to feed some of the animals to the other animals because they can't afford to feed everyone. Not that that's not the story that that may that may that that may that may that that may that that that the that th feel the story the that the story that the story that the story that that the story that the that the story that that that that the the story that that that that that the the the the the the that that that that that that that that to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to to their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toda.oooo.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.S. spoiler. S. S. S. spoiler their their toe. S. S. S. S. S. I to to they can't afford to feed everyone. Not that funny. And so that's funny that one. That's not the story that maybe feels so good that I had to share on a podcast. I thought that even mentioning what it was about would be too depressing to mention so I decided not to. And it's a good thing that you completely avoided mentioning a depressing story. I think it would just bring everyone down and sort of even really hammer home how awful to to to's no reason for us to do that. So instead I chose a story from the last couple of days from a little publication of the National Geographic. Never heard of it.

Occasionally there are titties in there, keep an eye on for that. Really? A headline on this one is, like humans, flamingos make friends for life. I mean that's not really like humans but continue. Christ. Uh, not all humans I guess, Lucy? Do you really? I mean, are you one of those people that's like friends with your like high school friends? No, fuck no.

That's fucking crazy. Anyways, continue. I am actually, I am friends with a guy that I went to kindergarten with. Wow. Shout out, Benji, who is now covered in tattoos of like Chuckie from Child's Play and the Toxic Avenger. Yeah, from Good Showing. And plays like Slig Metal Games. A girl that I was in kindergarten, not preschool, but you know, the K year at the start of school in some states, she follows me on Twitter now. And that's basically the same as us having maintained that friendship.

Oh, I hate that. I hate when people are from my high school or like my university follow me on Twitter. It's a different world. Stay away. Oh, actually, no, I mean, I mean, I feel rude now. No, someone that I was friends with in high school is actually a listener to this podcast. She was my high school girlfriend. Sorry I didn't mean to.

Hi. was my high school girlfriend. Hello, Corrida, sorry I didn't mean to. I'll raise you from my history. Anyway, Flamangos. Flamangos. So you know like there are heaps of animals where everyone's like, oh did you know that they form romantic relationships for life and it's really beautiful. And that's fucking cool but whatever, we know that exists. The concept of animals being Fred's for life is somehow much more amazing to me. Let me read some of this article too. Because I mean, like mating for life just seems like more of a primal type thing. Like practical concern, right? Yeah, yeah. You figure out how to fuck, you may as well keep doing it.

Are you saying that animals by nature are polyamorous? No. I mean, I don't think they have some some of them I guess I don't you gonna have to take that question to R slash Polly. I'm sure there are some little furry polycules but there's also plenty of species that make for life and everything. Yeah but like but like Ben saying saying I think that if this is what Ben saying that still gives me more of the vibe of like biological imperative to reproduce that's more of a I'm just gonna stick with this one and we'll just keep cracking out eggs or whatever until we both keel over.

Whereas you know you know they don't have to be friends. Penguins. No penguins are murderous snakes. They don't experience love. That's... Wow. Anyways, let's move on. This is meant to be a lovely feel-good story. Lucy has called it a question the nature of human friendships and their limited lifespan.

And Andrew is going off and tear about penguins being bastards. Let me read this out. They're probably not. They seem fine. They seem fine. Flamingos, they've got long legs. Okay. Live out, buddy.

Flamingos are known for their long legs. Oh, Lucy, nailed that it. They'll have. Long necks and party pig feathers. Now scientists have discovered for the first time that the birds the birds and loyal friendships and the physical traits may play a role in those bonds. May I just say when it comes to flamingos, that when I was, I want to say about 12, I went to America and went to the San Diego Zoo and they had a whole gang of flamingos there, whatever one might call a group of flamingos.

And I just, no, definitely couldn't be that. And I very much distinctly remember looking at a big cluster of flamingos. And, and thinking, oh, I didn't know that colors were like that in nature they looked they looked like spray painted fluently they are pink very very pink and I just remember being like oh I didn't know that no nature did colors like that and clearly it does don't write into me tel me about what documentary I should watch about fucking per lesson like like that oh I didn't know. Didn't know nature did colors like that. And clearly it does. Don't write into me, telling me about what documentary I should watch about, fucking pearless and whatever. We simply don't care.

I've seen them all now. I don't want to learn a thing. Yeah. Don't want to know the things. Oh, boy. Let me continue. The enduring partnerships among flamingos include mated couples that build nests together and raise chicks every year, as well as same-sex friends and groups of three to six close buddies.

Oh, okay, it's a polygyone. Study leader Paul Rose. A behavioral ecologist at the University of Exeter in the United Kingdom wanted to find out if flamingos formed complex bonds within their large groups. From 2012 to 2016, Rose collected data on four captive flocks of Caribbean, Chilean, Andean, and lesser flamingos kept at the wild farm wetlands, Slimbridge Wetland Centred Gloucestershire, Jesus Christ. That's a...

Impressive, you got through it all. Thank you. The flocks, which ranged in size from just over 20 individuals to more than 140 and considered similar in structure and behavior to wild groups. By collecting these data over a five-year period, Rose observed that flamingos maintain selectively stable friendships mainly characterized by standing close together, just like among humans. That is pretty much the only characteristic of a successful human friendship is standing

near each other. It's hard to imagine what other markers you would use for flamingo friendship because it's not like you'd be like, oh, that flamingo remember that other flamingo's birthday. Oh, look, look, look, look, look, everybody. You wouldn't know. You're on safari and you're like hanging outside of the truck with your binoculars and the guy says, look, look, look, look, look. That one's giving the other one it's switchco. It's incredible that flamingos is helping that other flamingo build a deck on the weekend.

It's possible these bonds could last decades. Flamingos can live 50 years. Jesus. That's a while. This is a long time. The fact that they're so long lasting, he says, suggest these relationships are important for survival in the wild. Like humans, another highly social species, these wading birds carefully avoid certain individuals, Rose reported.

He says avoidance may serve to prevent squabbles. One way to reduce stress and fights is to avoid those birds you don't get on with. no those those those birds. Oh those birds. Oh those birds. Oh those birds. Oh those birds. Oh those birds. Oh those birds. Oh those birds. Oh thos. Oh thos. Oh th thoes. Oh tho. Oh tho. Oh thi thi to to to to to to to to thi. I to to to to to to to to to reduce stress and fights is to avoid those birds you don't get on with. No more flamingo drama 2020. I'm cutting toxic flamingos out of my flock. Just block someone toxic. I'm assuming that these flamingos are all out of high school by this point. Yeah, that's a safe assumption. Okay, because that is about the time when you're like, I don't actually have to hang out with these. When you cut out the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thom, thom, thomomomom. Yeah, thememing. Yeah, thomomomomomomom. thom-I. thom-I. thomom-f, thomomom. thom. thom. thom, th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I. I. I. I, th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, th. I. th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. toe. toe. toe. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toooooomea. toooomea. toea, toe. toe. to is about the time when you're like, I don't actually have to hang out with these guys. When you cut out the people that just pess you off. Yeah, so it turns out flamingos are just ignoring haters.

None of us are cutting off people that pisses off on Twitter.com, don't lie. I mean, I mute a lot of them. No, I've started doing it. This year,'m just, I'm muting, not specifically like people who are like rude to me or anything like that. For me it's the, it's the accounts that I don't like, but I have to see all the time because like a hundred other people that I follow, follow them. A wonderful thing that the Twitter algorithm does where you're like, no, no, I've made a deliberate choice to not follow these people people people people people people people, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, their, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, th, th. Like, a, a, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, Twitter algorithm does where you're like, no, no, I've made a deliberate choice to not follow these people because I don't like their tweets. And it's like, ah, but the people you follow follow them, so you will see every one of their tweets. I love it. It's so good. So it turns out you can't just block them. You don't the tweak- you tip th th th th. You don't tip th. You don't th. You don't th. You don't th. You can't th. You can't th. th. th. th. thi thi thi. thi. that that tho tho' tho' the. that thi. theateateateateat tho-up tho-up tho-up their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. the. the wetland such as flocks daily at four set times during the spring and summer and three times during the fallen winter.

He also photographed birds and positions, birds that position themselves together in distinct subgroups throughout each flock. The birds all have rings on their legs, making it easy to identify individuals. A flaming colony is a busy mass of gobbling, often preening, sometimes quarreling birds. If one bird gets too close to another, they'll use their long necks and massive beaks to attack. Shraining at times to establish that one has a longer neck than another. Sounds like a group of men, am I right? Sounds like the boys.

Let's not turn the, yeah, the lady lady lady tha tha tha tha tha tha, tha, tha, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho like the boys. Let's not turn, yeah, the lady's muscling and let's not turn this into a neck measuring competition. Please, fellas, put them away. Consequently, Rose defined neck length as a measure of flamingo friendship. Birds sitting or standing less than one neck length away from another bird were deemed friends. When other flamingos were nearby but more than one neck length apart, Rose marked them as belonged to separate subgroups. He found the larger flocks had the most varied and highest number of social interactions with complex social networks made up of two bird, three bird and six

member subgroups. Some birds were such consistent friends throughout the five-year study that Rose said he could easily predict which ones would be together. There were two strongly bonded older females who did everything from courtship displays to building their nest together. They're always joined by a male 20 years their geniuses. These ladies are living the dream. Ladies. That's how I thi their th is th is their th living the dream. Ladies, that's how I try to be living. Oh, sisters are doing it for themselves.

Oh my goodness, this is really lovely. I love this whole thing so much. Jerry Lorenz, a wetlands ecologist at Audubon, Florida in Miami, said he found it neat to see that non-sexual pair bonds can also be documented and quantified. You're just saying non-sexual and I'm really making an assumption. If I, it's now my goal to be quoted in like some journal of record describing something as, quote, neat. I bet that guy has like three pens at his pocket at all time. He sure does. Non-sexual pair bonds. I feel like you're just trying trying trying trying trying trying to trying to trying to you're just trying you're just trying you're just trying you're just trying you're just trying to say to say you're just to say to say to say you're just to say to say to say thi thi thi to say thi thi thi, thi, thi, you're thi, thi, thi. I're thi. I're thi. I're thi. I're thi. I're thi. I're th. I're th. I're th. I're th. I're th. You're just th. You're just thi. You're just to say to say to say to say th to say to say thi thi to say thi to say thi thi to say to thi to to thi to to to to to to to the to to to the the the the the thi. I're th guy has like three pens at his pocket at all time.

He sure does. Non-sexual pair bonds. I feel like you're just trying to say gal pals. Just gal pals. Live in gal pals. As for how flamingos choose their friends, Rose suspects both personality and coloration play a role. Now this is not racism. Is this a non-sexual pair bond like your aunt Debbie who always brings her roommate, Sheila to weddings and stuff like? It's weird. They've been living together now for 55 years. Yeah, they just get along great. They don't need a man. It seems to be more about finding someone with a similar personality. Something you don't clash with, he says.

The flocks are noisy and busy, and probably the birds don't need more stress. Having a buddy is good for your well-being. Self-care, baby. He also observed that some of the brightest pink birds stuck together. One study showed that greater flamingos, the palest of the species are able to make their feathers a brighter pinker. to potentially making the more desirable as friends and mates. Because friendships are so important to flamingos, roast dresses that managers of captive

flamingo flocks, such as those in zoos, should also be careful not to separate flamingos that are closely bonded. These flocks should contain as many birds as reasonably possible to ensure good healthy ads. The bigger the group, the more likely the birds of all personality types will be able to find a compatible pal to hang with. Oh. That's what it's like. That's life, you know? That's just life.

That's just life. Yeah, you've got to broaden your pond, you know? I mean, your pond got too many friends. Oh, okay. Too many friends, popular with too many people. What a horrible attack you're putting on me right now. You only need a few. It's stressful to those of us who can survive on two friends or less. Just hoarding them at this point. People and us. You are a people person. That's and that's why quarantine is treating me so well. It's really good. Not me. I'm thi. I I'm a a a a that. I'm a that. I'm a horrible. I'm a horrible. I'm a horrible. I'm a horrible. I'm a horrible. I'm a horrible. I'm a horrible. I'm a horrible. I'm a horrible. You are a horrible. that the horrible. the horrible. the horrible. the horrible. the horrible. that. that. that you. the horrible. that horrible. that horrible. that horrible. that horrible. that. that. that. that horrible. that. that. that. that's a horrible. the horrible. You are a horrible. You are a horrible. You are a horrible. You are a horrible. You are a horrible. You are a horrible. You are a horrible. You are a horrible. You are a horrible. You are. You are. You are a th. You are a th. You are a th. You are a th. You are a th. You are a th. You are a horrible. You are a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the horrible. the the horrible. the the horrible. the th. the the the the th. I th. is treating me so well. It's really good. It's great. Not me. I'm an introvert. I have to stay home. It's just like every other day in my life.

I'm already with my best friends. Books. Oh boy. I'm already with my best friends. Uh, books. Oh boy. I'm already with my best friends. Moby Dick and Captain May have. Yeah, well I'm with my best friends do. Smoking weed and honking off. Oh yeah. You can't honk off too much though.

That's... No, no, no, hold on. Let me... No, this could go either way, because it sounds like I'm saying you can't honk off too much like it's a bad thing, all like I'm saying it's not physically possible to honk off too much. Yeah. And I'll say from personal experience, it is physically possible to jack off too much. And once again, I apologize for this entire podcast episode, especially to the listener. Listen, we're all stuck at home, we've all been having some

alcohol. I feel like that was a perfectly reasonable public health statement to give. Oh, you can jack off too much or it will be physically painful? Yeah, if it starts to hurt some breaks. Give it a rest. Find a different thing to do with your body. Yeah, you got other holes. Just watch porn for an extended time before you do anything about it. That is psycho behavior. What is?

What is? Just honking someone else off or watching porn for a lot? Just watching porn the like trucking them on the TV and they just like sit there and watching it for a while. That uh... Watching feature length pornography and fast forwarding through the sex. Just like getting the 45 minutes in just do a little yard. Just watch the whole thing. Just I mean they made the lead up for something. Why don't you enjoy it? How was your stated aim of watching the feature length Port Hub Premium videos going Lucy. It's not going well. Sorry to hear it. My my... If you watch like five minutes of like a porno

actress like acting, like where they're like talking to each other, the men too, it's just it's no good. Every now and then you'll see one. My wife won't watch them, my wife won't watch them unless she can watch the story. No. That cannot be true. Is that true? She is like, I cannot get into it unless I get the plot leading up. But some of the low budget ones, it's just like, it's not good. I had a, like briefly entertained the thought of being like, what if I just watched a bunch of like feature-length 1960s porn movies?

Because I realized that like Pornhub has a massive back catalog of stuff because they don't delete anything for copyright reasons. And porn sucked even if you're like, ha, it's fun because they've shot this on film, but it's in the past. It's still bad. It's still like 10 minutes of just the worst shit of the world. It's a very bad sex and then 10 minutes of the worst show of the world. With a real baseline and real like, bam, bam, bam.

That's the only good part is the soundtracks are genuinely amazing. Well, there's also the whole kind of, um, you combine the, the often poor lighting, the fact that they were actually shooting on film on film on film on film on film on film on film on film on film on film on film on the the the the the the the the the the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the fact that they were actually shooting on film as opposed to digital and the copious body hair and you're having a lot of contrast issues with seeing what's going on. On both members of the sexual engagement really. Ideally. Also every every movie of that vintage when it gets to the end of the sex does a prolonged close-up on the dude's face as he goes Ah! It's always like 50% mustache as well.

You're just saying like a guy's lower lip, his tug at his eyes and nothing else. It was so good in like the 90s or the 2000s when they realize that we don't actually have to put any of the guy's face in. Yeah, exactly. No one wants to see. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. There. There. There. There. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's always th. It's always thi. It's always thi. It's always thi's always always th thi's always always th thi's always always always thi. It's always thi. It's always thi. It's always th we don't actually have to put any of the guy's face in. No one wants to see. Thank you. There's been like a loop around where people have realized the niche for like hot guy board. Hot guys fuck on porn harm, great content. I mean yeah it actually that's the good stuff. Well there's our recommendation for this week. Yeah that's our uh, pass. Yep, there we go. Well, yeah, this, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th. T, that's our uh, tripast. Yep, there we go. Well, yeah, this week's crime pass is you can watch

copyrighted feature-length 1960s pornography on Pornhub, even if they don't have the official license for the thing. Yeah, just go for it. Why not? Try something new, you know, not a crime. Yeah. Well, I guess we should finally leave the cinema. I am mad, Dizzy. We've had this entire conversation in the lobby. They're trying to close up. They're pretty mad about it.

My God, can you just leave? We just really just fucking want to see Trolls two. Trolls two, for us this week, folks. Thank you very much for stopping by and listening. As you may have noticed, we're still making all of our bonus episodes, our premium content, free. Not for long. We're going to shut up shop soon. You reckon? Pan-Novic 2020, which is trying to help people out with the time.

Trying to get that cheddar, that sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweetrying to help people out with the... Trying to make some money over here. Trying to get that cheddar, that's sweet podcasting dollar. Sweet podcasting dollar. Well, if you like getting your two episodes a week and you want to say thank you and support the show, you can head on over to Patreon. to two podcast feeds You can also get it by doing that. You know? Mm-hmm. Maybe that's what doesn't avoid Thank you everybody and we'll see you next week. Bye. Bye to