Boonta Vista - EPISODE 148: Squid Pro Quo

Episode Date: May 10, 2020

Lucy, Theo, and Ben look into the amazing mind-reading power of monkeys, the pipeline from News Corp journalist to government spin doctor, and the conservatives grifting their way through COVID-19. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Buntavista episode 148. I am Ben and I am here in the squid universe. Everything is exactly the same as in the regular universe except for how everyone is a squid. Over there, doing all the regular things that Theo would do is Theo. Hey, he's a squid. Hello, squid Theo. Hey man, I'm just going about my day and I was just recently thinking how normal it is

for us to have either eight or ten limbs. I love to have eight arms and two feeding tentacles. Yes, that's right. And honestly, it's hard to imagine a life without two feeding tentacles. How is he gonna get that food in your mouth? That's so true. You know, every time I'll just look at an octopus and I'll just think, oh.

Yeah, he's in a bad time. I'd do anything to give that guy two feeding tent a theaa he can get his way out of a tank that we've put him in in this hierarchy it goes squid and then octopus. But really hard to see him going to town on a lobster. You wouldn't expect them to use actually. No I have seen octopus is smashing apart sort of oysters before, which is terrifying. But again, they are not us. They are beastly creatures to us. Awful. You know, it's so close to being on the same level. But just not. Yeah. Also here with us, possessing all of the traits of regular

Lucy from regular life, but also a squid. It's Lucy. Hello, Lucy. Hi, I just enjoying this elongated body and giant eyes. It's going well. Yeah, having giant eyes whips. Huge fan. It's so good.

Especially when they're like slightly on the side of my head, feel like I'm getting a real good view of everything around me. You know what rules? Having chromatophores. You know? Every now and then you look at the color of your skin and you think, oh, I wish this was some sort of a stripy situation. If I were to describe the two things I enjoy the most, it'd be, one, probably reading the books of Cormac McCarthy, and two, sailing the unknown depths in depths in depths in depths in depths in depths in depths in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the sailing the unknown depths of the ocean, unreachable by both animal or light, and just really going about my business down there.

Those are certainly the traits of Atheo and the traits of squid combined to a single seamless character. How do we usually transition into segments? What do we do here? Well, I think normally there's sort of a kind of a logical through line so maybe the the scenario could be constructed compatible with the first article in the Google in Google Docs and that kind of gives you a nice little runway on to which you can land a segue. This is your captain speaking. Please return your seats for their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of...

This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. But in this case we haven't done that, so... Okay, well maybe... Let me... Here we go. Speaking of gliding along until you encounter something that really wishes you didn't encounter it, we've got a story here from the Associated Press Again, I'm gonna give the same preamble we gave to the one about the lady being eaten in the last episode If anyone laughs it's not because we think it's funny. It's just we can't help that reaction. Yeah, if you If you don't laugh, then what else will you do? How do squid's emote?

Yeah. If you don't laugh, then you will signal with your chromatophores, you know? Sorry, I'm just imagining Italian squids now. Doing five times the amount of gesticulation. Oh, mama mea. Actually, I, so I took acid this week for the first time, in a very long time. But I watched, this is maybe the best two decisions I've ever made in my life, uh, to watch two episodes of Blue Planet right when I was sort of coming up.

Oh, that is good. Watched the episode about the deep. It's a great one. It's a great one. I watched the episode about coral reefs, also a great one. And he fucked me up. Seeing squids and watching squids just go about their business.

That was kind of mind-destroying a little bit. I don't know how we... A lot of squid-centric thoughts. Yes. Well, how do we feel safe being on the same planet as them? They seem very sinister. Well, I think what we... the most important things that we did to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho, tho, to, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, the, tho, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, thean, thean, theyyyyyyyyn, and, their, their, their, their, their, thean, their, thean,'s awful down there and I think what we, one of the most important things that we did was crawl out of the ocean, have all our little flaps and stuff fall off, grow legs and go about our business on what we consider I guess normal land. And the less we know about it,

the better. Yeah. I don't want to learn things about what's going on down there. No, it's chaos. I feel like like the the less the less the less the less the less the less th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the less th th th th the less th th tho tho thus thus the thus that. I thi thi. thi. I thi. thi. thi thi thi thi tho that is that is their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th is th is that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that that that that going on down there. No, it's chaos. I feel like Lucy you've maybe made one terrible decision in your life if you don't want to know about sea creatures. I don't listen to anything my husband says. Don't want to hear about it. It's because you know it's all pro-sea creature propaganda. Exactly. Oh, he's a fish lover, is he? Discussing stuff. Definitely sounds like it's some sort of slurpike. Just thinking into some... That guy's a real fish lover. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

All right, here we go. This is from the Associated Press. Anyway, let's... Let's... well, we'll see. Jetliner hits and kills man on the. A man was struck and killed by a commercial jet landing on a runway at an Austin Texas Airport Authority said, the pilot of Southwest Airlines flight 13-2 a Boeing 7.37 arrived from Dallas reported seeing a person on runway 17R at Austin Bergstrom International Airport shortly after the jet tou-toucest down at 8.12 p.m. Thursday, according to a statement from the Federal

Aviation Administration. The FAA said the Federal Aviation Administration. The FAA said the driver of an airport operations vehicle later found the body on the wrong way. I know I may not have the best perspective on a lot of things, but to me, being hit by a 737 would really ruin my day. You wouldn't expect it. I wouldn't like it. I'd to put a positive spin on being hit by a 737. I feel like. I. Like to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the to the to th. I th. I the the the th. I th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.m.m.m.m.m.m.m. I th. I'm th. I th. I'm t. I try. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I try. I try. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I 737. I feel like it would be, you probably wouldn't know about it if you were hit by a 737, you know? I think you're getting taken out in sort of one fell swoop. I think you might have a good 10 minutes or so to avoid the scenario.

Yeah, well, I can hear what Ben saying and that after the fact you wouldn't know about it, but it's also got to be one of the things that you might expect could happen, being as you were standing on an international airport runway. Not an airport employee, by the way. No, yeah. So they, they've not said who he was or what he was doing there, but he was not authorized to be at the runway. I read that they apparently think th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to the to to the to to to the. toe toe. the. toe. the. th, but he was not authorized to be at the runway. I read that they apparently think that he jumped over the perimeter essentially. And just sort of ran in there.

Sounds like he did this deliberately, which is very troubling. What if this guy was Kyle Reese, but this was the part where he teleported in from the future. And you think maybe he popped he popped he into the middle of a runway and then was tragic nearby 737. That's definitely a good theory. Wrong place, wrong time. And there's no reason that you specifically, that's what's run to mind for you? Oh, well, we just watched Terminator like two nights ago.

It's a good one. But I also do th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiolioliol- tho- tho-a' tho-a' tho-a' their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thatatting thatting thatting thatting thi thi thi thi thi thi I also do think that's the most likely. I'm sure. This is some more detail from a website called Too Fab, which seems like not the right masthead to... To Fab. To be doing this sort of reporting, but you know. The carrier said that the pilot spotted the person and attempted to maneuver around him but but was unable to avoid hitting him. Too fab. Pictures of the aircraft obtained by CBS show a massive dent in one of the aircraft's engines. Oh my gosh.

Oh no. Mm-hmm. Southwest aircraft maneuvered to avoid an individual who became visible on the runway 17 hour shortly after touchdown, aircraft quickly came to a safe stop and the pilots reported the event to local air traffic controllers, company said in a statement. Recordings of radio chatter between the cockpit and tower revealed the moment the pilot spotted the mail seconds before his death. I believe there might be a person on the runway, the pilot says. Where exactly did you see the man? the air traffic controller asked, to which the pilot then replies, they are behind us now.

Oh, oh no. It's pretty fucked. This is very bad for the pilot. Yeah, I'd say so. It sounds like this man has just sacrificed himself to the god of the Boeing 737. And like it's definitely... I mean, I feel like this is, you know in movies where people are running away from something that's moving sort of towards them but if they just ran sideways they'd be fine.

Yeah. It feels like a plane coming into land is a real running sideways situation. Yeah. Now are we, is this a 737 800 max, do you know? Was this man hit because the engines were like scraping along the ground barely, barely unable to fit under the wingspan? Uh, look I don't have details on the exact model. I believe it was not. I believe it was a standard 737. Unfortunately. When I was looking for more stuff about this and I was just searching for Bowen 737. Like all the other the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, was, was, thens, was, thens, thens, was, thens, thens, th engines engines engines engines th engines engines engines th engines engines, th, th, th, th, th, th, th engines engines engines engines engines, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, I was looking for more stuff about this and I was just searching for Bowen 737, like all the other stories that popped up were about Boeing getting sued because

of their fucking Max for all of those problems that they had. But this is... And remind me we're an anti-7-3-7 podcast, Lucy? Um, just strongly, we're anti-Bowing. We can say that. Pro-Pro-Airbus. Airbus? Airbus? Don't come at me with any reasons for me to change my mind. You don't want Airbus to be milkshake-ducked for you. Exactly. Find out they've cut the baguette allowance to their employees. Um, why do we hate Boeing? Just out of curiosity? I think probably decades of naked profiteering. Yeah. And also, like, all of the, um, hellfire missiles they've sent into, like, like, brown people.

Also, just the inferior planes, most importantly. Oh, yeah. Less aesthetically pleasing planes. Do you guys see the thing from, it turned out, I don't know if it turned out to be a hoax or not, but like the, a bunch of people got laid off from Heathrow, and then someone was like,

oh, someone activated the fire suppressant systems in their hanger as they were walking out. It was that video that made it look like the plane had diarrhea. Yeah, yeah, the plane absolutely had due to us. I hate to see it, but some of these old planes, it will happen to them. Yeah, I looked into that and, uh, Reuters, I think, did like a fact check on it being like, no, you can't actually set those off my hand. But I still want to believe that it's someone who worked there for long enough that knew how to fuck with it getting fired and just going,

ha, fuck you, he's a couple of thousand liters of fire suppressant foam. I have to believe that people have the ability to flick the do-do switch. Or else, I mean, what is there? Hey, uh, speaking of guessing at people's intentions, uh, it's time for a little segment of Nature Corner. Country Roads, take me home. To the place. I belong. Bulltomber.

It's an article from ABC Science from 2005. This is not news by any stretch. Sipped my dick. This is an article from ABC Science from 2005. This is not news by any stretch of the imagination. I just found it because I was try to, someone I know on Twitter posted a picture of a monkey in front of a TV that was clearly from a scientific journal and I was like, I've got to find out what that study is. What are they showing this monkey?

And this is not what that study was, but it might be better. So ABC Science, 2005, that monkey can read your mind. Excuse me? You've heard them. I don't like where this is going. You're going to like this a lot less, I promise you. Monkeys can deduce what other monkeys and humans think. Want and see based on visual cues, according to a new paper. This, the study in this week's issue of the journal Current Biology is the first to show that monkeys, like humans, not only react to visual information, they can also use it to reason about the behavior of others. Okay, so immediately I'm very, I don't know if I believe this because the one interaction that I know between monkeys and humans is

that monkeys love nothing more than tearing faces off of humans. That's, it's the sick thrill. The only thing they can enjoy. And now I'm expected to believe another layer is occurring here where the monkey is thinking, you know what this person would really like right now? I mean, I think as you'll see once I get into this, it's more sinister than that. What the monkey is determining is where it is the perfect time to rip your face off. The findings suggest that certain human cognition skills are not as rare as once thought. They also indicate that the ability to reason did not evolve in humans.

Instead, the brainy trait probably passed down to us from our ape ancestors. U.S. researchers studied a population of free-range rhesus monkeys that live on the island of Cayo-Santiago in Puerto Rico. Despite their apprehension at getting close to humans, the monkeys sometimes try to sw sw sw swite their their their their their their their apprehension at getting close to humans, the monkey sometimes try to swipe food from visitors to the island when the visitors are not paying attention. This inspired Jonathan Flombeam, a graduate student in the psychology department at Yale University and colleague assistant professor Laurie Santos to test the monkeys on their ability to assess the visual perspectives of others.

Flombow and Santos devised six experiments. All involved a human holding a grape next to a curious monkey. I'm really enjoying the concept that they're able to pull six experiments from that deep well. It's just like every single time they get up in front of a white bulled, one of them's like, you know what, I'm thinking a monkey. You know what I'm thinking? A human holding a grape.

Flombard begins to draw like an oval, four legs coming out of a little monkey face. And then of course the grape and the human. For the first experiment, the human grape holder stood either facing the monkey or turned away from it. In experiments two to five, the humans varied their positions relative to the monkeys and altered the monkey's view with platforms and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes their their their legs legs their legs legs their legs their legs their legs their legs their legs their legs their their their thoes thoes.aes thoeseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseseses toeeeaaa toea the monkey or turned away from it. In experiments two to five, the humans varied their positions relative to the monkeys and the monkeys' view with platforms and barriers. For the final experiment, the human held up a small rectangular cutout that blocked either the human's eyes or his mouth. The experiments revealed that the monkeys would snatch grapes whenever the human could not see the monkey or when the human was not paying attention to the fruit. the fruit thethe competition, in this case the desire for food, trigger the monkey's powers of deduction.

What our studies certainly demonstrate is that in situations where the animal does deduce what the other individual sees, that the animal uses the most reliable information in this context, namely where that individual's eyes and not any other part of their head are pointing, he explains. So effectively monkeys have learned how to get away with literally any crime. Yes, that's what we're saying. Not even that they've learned to do it, that they've been able to execute the perfect crime this entire time. Have we actually looked into the amount of unsolved crimes that could be, perhaps, have been committed by a free-range reces monkey? A monkey pickpocket. There must be everywhere. Unfortunately, they don't keep case statistics on whether there was a nearby recese monkey when the crime was committed.

Well, then they're looking in the wrong place. Well, hopefully they learn from this. We know that cells in the monkey's superior temporal sulcus encode this information. How do we know this? We just know it, okay? So in the context that the animal does come to deduce what another individual sees, the animal's brain just needs to ask itself, what occupied the coordinates in the world where that other monkeys or that person's eyes are pointing. Do we do we really need need to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to the to to the to the to to the the to the the the the the the the the the the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theckeckeckeckeckleaucooomeck.c.eck.eck.ean.ean.ean.cooomeck.eck.eck.eck.eck.eck.eck.eck. theathea. the the th world where that other monkeys or that person's eyes are pointing. Do we really need to be like hooking electrodes up, cutting a piece of monkey skull out and just like torturing these animals who have been shown now to be the perfect criminals? This would definitely be the thing that starts the human monkey war for sure. Get in the cape. Just hand it over. I don't trust these fucking monkeys. Give it to him. It's just like like. It. It. It. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like, like. Like, like. Like, like. Like, like. Like, like. Like, like. Get the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to th th. thi toes. toes. to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the to to I don't trust these fucking monkeys.

Give it to him. It's just like, oh, the blood test results have come back. Turns out they've got an overactive revenge gland. That's interesting. It says they never forget. They never forgive. Interesting. Flambam thinks other competitive situations could cause monkeys to make deductions about the knowledge and perspectives of others. For example, he says, they might do this when trying to attract mates and when protecting offspring.

If we are right that Riesus monkeys can, quote, mind read in the ways that we say they can, that our own similar abilities probably did not evolve in us, Flombeam says. Instead, we appear to have been lucky enough to inherit them from our Rhesus monkey and chimpanzee relatives. Thank you for crying. Thank you so much. It's not really mind reading, but go on. While Flombeam does not believe in true psychic phenomena, he thinks that humans experience intuition based on deductions. For example, when a person gets a sudden feeling that a situation should be avoided or when a bad vibe suggests that someone is lying or staring, even when the possible victim cannot be sure. Many of these skills

are derived from the interchange to visual information the brain's ability to code it. Dr. Brian Hare, a researcher in postdoctoral associate at the Max Planck Institute of Evolutionary Anthropology, studies chimpanzees, and he says the new monkey study presents Welcome Findings. The study on Rhesus monkeys shows that many people have suspected but didn't have beautiful data to back up their theories with. Beautiful data. I have to see more of this type of work in the future because it is fun to learn more about monkeys and chimpanzees. That's true. I also enjoy the concept that they've really wanted to know this up until this point according to John.

We need to know. He's obsessed with monkeys. We need to know whether or not they are the nature's perfect criminals. But it truly took student Flombaum to come up with the grape idea. We've tried, we've tried Rambitans, we've tried bananas, we've tried apples. Surprisingly the only other thing that worked was wallets. Guns. Holding him a gun. You look away from it, look back all of a sudden, it's gone. Flombard was currently testing monkeys with an even trickier constraints than before.

He has a human accidentally roll grapes down a ramp. During the experience, the human and the ramp are blocked in various ways that sometimes suggest to monkeys that the human does not realize that the gra is all the way. So far, Flombod says monkeys are making the expected assumptions about what the human sees and using this clever guesswork to steal quite a few grapes. So I guess what they're implying is that if you like put the grape down, the monkey will leave it alone, but if you pretend to have dropped it and ignore it, it's going to go for it because these things are little thieving bastards. They're terrible. I also like the possible theory that these monkeys didn't know until now, but we've taught them.

Before going into these experiments, that wouldn't register the difference and now they're just like oh my god sometimes they forget about things. This is the start of a the start of a certain movie starring James Franco. Moves from grapes to cage keys. Keys to trucks. So I sort of discover the recese monkeys are able to silently steal a large ring of keys off a comically snoring jailkeeper. But only if no one is looking at them. Why we gotta mess with monkeys. I don't know. It does seem like it's going to come back on us at some point, doesn't it? Oh, absolutely.

Speaking of a group of people making someone's life a lot worse, this is a little story from a website called military.com, I believe we cited from them a couple of episodes talking about robot war dogs. Yep. All sorts of good stuff there. The headline is Australia OK's Marine Corps deployment during pandemic. Thousands of Marines will head to Australia's northern territory about two months later than planned, but they'll shelter in place once here to help prevent any spread of the novel coronavirus. Defense Secretary Mark Esper said Tuesday that the Aussies approved Marine Rotational Force Darward to proceed to Australia.

Australia in March barred most foreign nationals from entering the country due to the coronavirus. Now the Marines' rotational force that deploys there in the spring has been granted an exemption to the policy. Marines will spend 14 days quarantined once they arrive to help prevent any spread of the coronavirus. Oh, that's nice of them. Yeah. A spokesman with Marine Corps Forces Pacific declined to say what units will be included or whether any planned exercises will be canceled due to the pandemic. Thousands of California and Hawaii-based Marines, along with MV22 Osprey Tilt-Rota aircraft, A-H-17 Viper and UH-H-Y-Y venom helicopters, and RQ21 Blackjack drones were scheduled to deploy

to Darwin this spring. Why? You can tell that obviously there's a few people at the high levels here who are just, they've played bathtub admiral for too long. They've really been looking forward to this. They've got all their toys lined up and they got no one to play with them. Yeah, what are they going to do? Not do some live fire exercises.

Not do this? Yep. No, we've got to keep doing it because otherwise, what are you going to do? Help people? We continue to work closely with the Australian Defense Force on the force composition timing and planned training a statement from the command said the Marine Corps announced in March that the annual six month rotation will be delayed over the coronavirus crisis more than 5,000 US troops have tested positive for COVID-19. The illness caused by the coronavirus including 434 Marines. The decision to proceed with the rotation was based on

Australia's record in managing the impacts of the virus as well as the services strict adherence to a two-week quarantine when the units arrive somewhere new. No, stay, keep, stay there. Stay there. Stay, you can find, find an island. I know you guys have a couple of them. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Just go to a... this. It seems like such an unnecessary thing to decide to go ahead with. Also to be like, well, you know, they're doing quite good because of their strict procedures. We're going to send a couple of thousands of guys over there at the moment. Yeah, like our record in managing impacts, it's been like two months. That's not a record, we're still going. What the fuck I mean, you don't need us to say it, but it's it is really very kind of indicative of the, of the US attitude to this whole thing to be like, well, we've spent long enough pretending this is, we care about this, so.

Yeah. I'm bored now. I'm bored we had a Marine Corps. I'm bored of doing this so. Yeah. Back to it. I'm bored now. I didn't know we had a Marine Corps. I'm bored of doing things. You didn't know you had a Marine Corps? I didn't know. Is this an Australian Marine Corps? Oh, no, this is US Marines coming over here. Oh, that's even worse.

Yeah, it just makes no fucking sense. sense whatsoever. Deeply confusing. Actually, so that whole, where the US is at right now, which I'm sure is great for you, Lucy, with, you know, obviously these people are doing these protests because they're like, I want to cut my damn hair. Oh yeah, it's great, love it. I want to take a rocket launch at a subway. Oh, fuck, man, I saw those photos this morning. There was a guy with like a big, like, fucking 50 50-f him? What? Made out of wood. Oh my god. Yeah. This country. It's got some problems. At this point I don't know what they're cosplaying apart from huge assholes. I just yeah it's it's so insane that like something like this is still a culture war issue, you know? Like, ideally... Not dying of coronavirus is for the nanny state.

Yeah, you know, ideally we'd all be able to say, oh, you know what? Dying of a fucking virus or giving that virus, my grandma would be shit, I'm going to stay indoors. But no. Uh... There's still a bit of it in Australia I've definitely seen some a Daniel Andrews as Hitler and Chairman Mao pictures yeah but it's definitely a bit more on the fringe I think in in Australia like even the people who I I've got some relatives who were a little more on the, you know, what's the, is it United Australia? What's the, what's the dipshits that were doing the protests in Victoria, two years ago or something? Anyway, the, the Nazi guys.

Yeah. So, you know, I try not to look at this stuff on Facebook and even they are like, yeah, this is fucking idiotic, right? Like, we know we've been very, very lucky, we've done all of the right things. Even, even most people in Australia are kind of of the, of the opinion that we've done so well until now, but it doesn't really make sense for us to begin opening up, the up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up, the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are the, are, are, are the, are, are the, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, th.... th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the of of the opinion that we've done so well until now but it doesn't really make sense for us to begin opening up if we're just going to dump ourselves back in, let's just take our time, make sure we do it right, etc. Which is honestly kind of heartening to see when you talk to people, regular people from like a selection of Australians and and they're

kind of mostly speaking sense. It's a, it's a, I feel like a rarity these days. But it's somehow occurred and we're doing very well out of it as a as a consequence. And then yeah, there's these these weirdos who think that it's political correctness gone mad not to be able to cough on the glass surface of the diner. That's freedom. That's freedom to do that. Like the whole thing is a PR exercise.

Very strange. It's hard to try and get into that mindset of those people where you're just like, I guess you've had such a deep, deep distrust of the state sort of baked into your brain. That, yeah, I don't know, it's weird. It's hard to like, fully appreciate that perspective of just someone believing so much that the whole world is just faking this fucking thing to start the new world order. They're just all fake implants posting fake stuff online. I mean crisis actors.

Crisis actors, millions of them. What did I see from like, I don't know. It's one the usual shitty American conservatives on Twitter or whatever being like, I don't know, it's one the usual shitty American conservatives on Twitter or whatever being like, oh, well, coronavirus is bad, then how come nurses have got time to do this? And it was like a Tick Tock of nurses dancing at a hospital. That's a big thing. That's like a core tenant of the conspiracy is that, yeah, doctors have all this time to do the tick-toss dance or whatever. Because the hospitals hospitals is thos hospitals the hospitals is the hospitals is the hospitals is the hospitals is the hospitals the hospitals the hospitals the hospitals the hospital the hospital the hospital the hospital the hospital the hospital the hospital the hospital the hospital the hospital the hospital is the hospital is their their their their virus their virus is their virus is their virus their virus is their virus their virus their virus their virus their virus their virus their virus their virus their virus. It's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their have all this time to do the tick-to-talk floss dance or whatever. Because the hospitals are empty. Because the hospitals are empty. Have you even have you have you been to? Well they don't let you in Lucy that's

the thing. They won't let you in that's you can't go on and see yourself so. That's how you know it's a cover-up when they refuse to let me into an emergency ward even though I'm screaming about wanting to see the doctors. So you might find this hard to believe but some people are cynically using this sort of fear and distrust of the panic for personal gain. No they're not. Well, it's certainly not a grift. Although it might maybe be a grift. This is a story from Texas monthly. Well, it's certainly not a grift. It's certainly not a grift. Although, it might maybe be a grift. This is a story from Texas Monthly. Arrested Dallas Hairdresses Go Fund Me launched before she even reopened. On Friday, Ted Cruz flew to Dallas for a hair cut. Excuse me?

Uh-huh. Fascinating stuff happening in Texas. He hadn't been looking particularly shaggy, but as hair salons have become the latest front in the culture war, Cruz, never one to miss an opportunity to declare which side he's on, invited photographers to join him before he donned a face mark and a leopard print smock for his visit to Salon Alamode. He's, he's such a psycho. I don't really...

Flew to Dallas for a haircut. Incredible. Gotta get this photo up. Gotta show the voters where your allegiances lie. The Dallas salon had become pivotal in the stay-at-home order debates after its owner, Shelley Luther was arrested on Tuesday and sentenced to seven days in jail on a contempt of court judge. That stemmed from her refusal to apologize and close down her store until the second phase of Governor Greg Abbott's public safety plan, which was scheduled to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go the the the the the the the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo the photo to to their their their their their their their their photo their photo to go their photo to to to tho. tho. thoo. the photo to thoooooooooo. to thooooooo. the. the. their photo their photo the and close down her store until the second phase of Governor Greg Abbott's public safety plan, which was scheduled to go into effect on May 18 so long as infections didn't continue to spike. Which is like eight days from now.

Yes, it is not hugely far away. No, you can just sort of wait it out. Well, obviously Shelley Luther couldn't. Abbot himself declared the punishment for defying his own order unjust, and retroactively barred local officials from imposing jail time for violating it. He then went on to allow hair slons to reopen ten days earlier than he'd previously announced on May 8th. Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick meanwhile volunteered as tribute to serve the time himself provided he could do so from his own house.

Brackets Texas Jails and Prisons are pretty unsafe. Hey yeah I'll go to jail for this but not not real jail. Please let me go in your stead but also I would like to be in my house with my switch please. I actually have a real change from what I was previously doing also I would like to be in my house, with my switch, please. I actually have a lot. So no real change from what I was previously doing, but I'd like to make a very important point doing it. I'm basically Jesus Christ himself. Then Cruz flew in for a haircut and Luther landed a big payday, raising more than 500,000 US from a go-funding campaign that called her an an American hero. Fuck off. If all of this feels like a particularly effective PR stunt, well, that certainly seems accurate. The go-fund me campaign, run by a group calling themselves woke patriots, was created on

April 23rd, one day before Luther reopened her salon. I feel like I have a mind virus. I'm losing the ability to think in a straight light. Like, what a country. It's very simple. You sort of softly plan your own arrest for opening a hairdressing salon 10 days earlier than you would be able to safely do so. And this will just sort of be a kind of a sideline sort of page 3 news story such such hairdresser,

text stand, whatever, right? Well actually hairdressing is, you know, like the single most crucial service in the world at the moment. It probably is in Dallas, Texas, Texas, to be quite fair. I'm picturing a lady with just very large hair. So the biggest beehive you've ever seen. We researched her and her cause campaign organizer Rick Hire wrote on the page and decided that we would approach her and offer to support her as our first Patriot cause.

She accepted our offer. So this is a group of people who do this professionally, I guess. It's like those horrible Kickstarter people, but instead of kickstarting a startup that builds um, fucking, I don't know. The juicero. A laser that you can shine directly in your child's eye to make them not racist or something. It's whatever this is. It's just like, it's astroturfing but without the subterfuge. So this is good to me though because it's, it it's the victims of this kind of grift are the people that most deserve to be victims of a grift, right?

So if you can just attack the dumbest people alive, these are the most likely people to donate to something so fucking stupid. Yeah, I mean when you do look at it that way, they are just sort of moving money around from in between their bank accounts in sort of like a closed system. That you don't really have to interact with. But look, okay, so the problem is there are two wolves inside of me. One says that, literally now, we're staring down the barrel of hundreds of thousands of people dying. Literally hundreds of thousands of people, right? By the end of it you look at you look at where America is, where the line is continuing to sit at. I think it's really, it's reached,

you know, it's sort of, um, Zenith of about 30,000 cases per day, right, only because I feel that there's probably some upper limit on how quickly we can transmit this through the community. Right, so there's this wolf inside of me. And the other wolf inside of me, unfortunately, is battling that with seeing that, it's these people that are likely to get sick and die as well. And, and you know, every time you see a new story about, you know, such and such governor or, you know, what are the, the, the, the Pentecostal people that are like, you know,

coronavirus can't touch me. I'm invincible, all that sort of stuff. So it's this sort of ongoing battle with these news stories that you don't want to skite too much because obviously lots and lots and lots of people are going to die from this and they don't deserve to die, but also disproportionately, these guys are gonna... It's not something that you can kind of like trick and the coronavirus won't kill them. Right? It's bizarre behavior because the problem is that as this kind of pops up, it's gonna be a very short turnaround time before a lot of these

people get very sick and get, you know, get probably not quite what you would say they're just desserts, but it's hard to imagine what they're doing is anything less than killing lots of people. And themselves, and themselves. And themselves, right? So it's, it's just a very So it's just a very hard, it's a very hard situation to really feel a thing about, a single thing about, right? It's like you have to feel all of it all at once. And this is where I think you start to shut down your ability to actually process this information that a fucking, a campaign by a group called woke patriots has dedicated themselves fundraising what is going to be a pandemic. Yeah.

And perhaps this is the next stage in the virus is evolution. Like, like the virus from Pontypool, except this is transmitted through Go Fund Me. I wonder if they're taking a slice of this. Like what's there? No, no, no, absolutely. 100%. It is both a political and a financial grift. I mean, it's, this is one of those things where you can find yourself

screaming to the void being like why are their beliefs consistent but like the whole idea of the right always being like oh it's bloody paid protesters you know they can all this money to hop on a bus or whatever. Yeah except when we do it like this. Yeah this is fine apparently is doing a protest knowing it's going to be a payday for you. Like it's just it's so fucking weird and you know these people are they're acting on the beliefs that they've ended up with right like how do you solve a problem where people are doing things because they don't trust any of the news sources that are telling them what is actually happening what do you do? What do you do about that? Don't know? What do do do th do they? What do they? What do they? What do they? What do they? What do th do th do th do th do th do th do th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho? It's th tho? It's just just just just just tho? tho? It tho? It tho? It tho? It tho? It th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thoo- thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that are telling them what is actually happening. What do you do?

What do you do about that? Don't I. What do you do about that? I fucking do. Luther argued at a court hearing that she needed to open the salon for financial reasons. I have hair stylists that are going hungry because they'd rather feed their kids. She said, so sir, if you think the law is more important than kids getting fed, then please go ahead with your decision, but I'm not going to shut the salon. Paying bills and keeping families fed are understandable concerns, but by the time Luther made her argument,

the situation, for her at least, for her at least, the situation, the today used to pay employee salaries. The rest can go toward expenses like rent and utilities and still qualify for loan for forgiveness. Now of course, while Luther is able to cut all the hair she wants out of the new order from Abbott, she's also $500,000 richer. Her neighbors, though, haven't been so lucky. The music store, Fiddle and Boe, which shares a courtyard with Salon Alamode, has been dealing with arm supporters of Luther's outside of her salon, waving Gadsden flags

and carrying semi-automatic rifles and handguns. You cannot get into my shop without walking through the crowd of demonstrating people, said owner Rob Case. I'm not so much intimidated by the weapons. I've been around in my whole life. I'm really intimidated by the lack of social distancing. It's not safe out there. God. What a life to have to try and lead. I cannot imagine just living this life in places like this with weapons, rifles, handguns. It's bizarre. It's so weird how like the imagery of these people like when it's you know state capital buildings with 20 guys with AR-15s in the lobby or whatever that like it's not shocking anymore to see it which I think is maybe the sign that we're heading for the post-apocalypse. Like if this was in a movie you'd be like oh

fuck some shit's going down what the fuck and now you're just like oh it's the same shit yeah this is corny now. Yeah, it's so deeply strange. Imagine you're living in like the world of fallout and a bunch of raiders kind of show up to your town, you're just like, oh, these fucking assholes with their leather jackets. Wankers, and then you just ignore them. It's like totally lost its appeal now. They're just like, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th, th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's just, thi, th. It's just, th. It's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, ignore them. It's like totally lost its appeal now. They're just like, we see them like, like we see crust punks or whatever. Luther told the observer that she believes demonstrators would leave if she asked them to, but doing so would be hypocritical and violate the very principles that led her to reopen.

Oh no, my patard. Meanwhile, Case says that while he relates to Luther as a fellow business owner, he's concerned about reopening while customers would have to pass through a crowd of people to come in. I don't want my customers to all fall ill and make me sick and have my elderly family members drop dead because of it. He fucking hates this woman. You'd fucking have to th a th a th a th a th a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th. th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatat. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So so so so so, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. thuuuuuuuuu. thuuuuuuu. thii. of it. He fucking hates this woman. You'd fucking have to, right? But at the same time he doesn't want his shot blasted with a bazooker like the start of

justified. What the fiddle and bow? That'd be a disaster. Shelley Luther's out of jail. The governor changed his order shortly after she protested in court. He's got more than half a million bucks in crowd-funded cash coming in. She's got a government loan coming away that she won't have to repay if she follows the rules. She got to cut Ted Cruz's hair and a lot of people are calling her a hero. Pandemic may still be

starting across Texas. More than 7,000 people tested positive since Abbott began easing public safety measures a week ago, but all of this has worked out pretty well for the owner of Salon Alamode. Oh my gosh, any country that calls this woman a hero is a failed state. 100%? This is not normal. Do you think Ted Cruz's body is compatible with the coronavirus? Wait didn't he get coronavirus? Did he? Oh no, he went into quarantine because he the thi thi thine he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he thine thi thi thi thi thi thi the Coronavirus? Wait, didn't he get coronavirus? Did he?

Oh no, he went into quarantine because he suspected he might have because of that guy at what, seed pack. Yeah, sure. They are all going to get it by the way. Apparently, Ivanka Trump's assistant has it or something right now. Oh, I saw that. Just waiting for all that to go down. None of the people where everyone was like,

wouldn't be the worst if they died of coronavirus, have died. That's a fucking horrible tragedy. I'm trying to find out if Ted Cruz did actually get coronavirus or it's just that he had to isolate. I think he just isolated. Oh, boo. I think his sickness thiiiiii sickness th th th thi sickness th thi sickness th th th thi sickness th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thus thus thus thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thus to to to to to to to to to to thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus th thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the thea the thea thea the thea to to thea to the thea the the the the that he had to isolate. I think he just isolated. Oh boo. I think his sickness is probably just one of the soul. Yes, and of his face. That's a gross looking man. And I don't, you know, not to shave it based on his physical appearance, it's just bad. He's just got a bad face. Whatever he's doing with these facial expressions at all times just has an air of just like wormy leeryness.

So he's one of the few men that somehow look much, much, much worse with a beard. Yeah, the beard does not adequately... It doesn't adhere to his face properly. It's so bad to look at and I can't really figure out what it is about it that's wrong. No, it's a well-trimmed beard. It's the right shape. It's in all of the place it's not patchy. It's got some salt and pepper through it. And yet all of these elements to combine like, you know, oh, oh I'm looking at one now and he's looking right down the camera barrel and I'm not enjoying this. I think what it is is that the height that he cuts it

at makes it sit quite boxily on his jaw. Like if he was trimming that line a little bit further down towards the bottom of the jaw bone might look a little bit better but it just sort of like pointily protrudes off his face in a very strange way. Strange looking man. I don't like it. I don't have a segment for this one. This is just an update on someone whose work we've covered before on the podcast. So this is a woman named Renee Valaris,

who was the political editor for the career mail up until quite recently. So we did one of her articles back in episode 114, which was the millennial greed and entitlement, no is no limit one. Yeah, I think for me personally, this article may be probably the most aggravating article we ever read on the show. It was not good. It's pretty bad the the the the the the thical thical the thiiiiiiiii thi may be probably the most aggravating article we ever read on the show. It was not good.

It's a pretty bad one. It was pretty indicative of her writing in general. For those of you, not familiar with the career mail, it's one of our tabloid newspapers. It's Queensland's tabloid newspaper from Newscoop. Yeah, but also Queensland being what it is, we don't really have a real newspaper, so it's also the serious newspaper. Yes, but they're very nakedly a right-wing newspaper. The fucking standard their writing is fucking horrible. She was particularly bad. I've got a couple examples here of when she's been pulled up. So this is from the Guardian from a year or so ago.

The career mail published a front page story by its political editor, Renee Valaris, on 9th November, saying judges were dramatically reducing the fines of anti-adani activists. Judges are overruling the decisions of regional magistrates, arguing the sentences are excessive or reducing fines because protesters are on welfare, despite some owning thousands and assets, the report said. And accompanying editorial argued that Queensland judiciary had a quote leftist agenda. There is often community criticism that the judiciary in Queensland is run by, for the most part, judges and magistrates who impose sentences and penalties that are out of kilter with

community expectations, the editorial said. But the judicial conference said the appeal judges had found that the magistrate had erred in imposing the same fine on each of the offenders regardless of relevant differences in their ages, antithesidence and personal and financial circumstances. Judge Linnam agreed with many aspects of the original magistrate's approach, including his characterisation as objectively serious and inherently dangerous. As Judge Lindham explained in his reasons, imposing the same fine on people with different capacities to pay may result in some offe as to some offe, the offense. the author of the editorial disagrees with the law as it exists.

If the author of the editorial disagrees with the law, he should today, the law as it exists. So they love doing beat-ups like this. They know that a lot of people that read the career mail fucking hate you know Greenies and activists and whatever. She's also taken quite a strong line against refugees and asylum seekers. She got pipped by Media Watch where she wrote a story about how living on Manus Island as a someone being intently detained for seeking asylum was the same as going on a tropical holiday. The headline for the article was Activists to Relaxtivists. Sounds like a great lady. So she's a real fucking piece of shit, a real piece of work, journalism she does is fucking awful, but it's okay, because she's now no longer doing that. She has moved to become a strategic media advisor for the Australian Federal Police.

Oh, fuck off. And so, and the change, sorry, what, what changed? Hey, there he is. But that's how you know you've got like a nice, healthy, adversarial relationship? Sorry, what changed? Hey, there he is. But that's how you know you've got like a nice, healthy adversarial relationship with power, right, when you immediately hop from being a political editor to just doing spin for the cops. It's pretty bad when your cops need spin. Ideally. I've got one to follow up on this, by the way, after this article.

So I would love that. Yeah. Kind of interesting to me that she would take this job, given that she herself has been subject to an AFP investigation for leaking classified material. So this is from a letter from the Department of Home Affairs that someone managed to get from her Freedom of Information Act. The department has identified an article in the career mail published on 9 March 2019 written by Miss Renee Valaris, federal political editor, titled Tai Paying Through the Nose for many tourists, which contains classified material. This was about how we're spending on our taxpayer dollars just to take people

to hospital. Tai Paying? Yeah. I'll pay through the nose. Terrible. Not even good. That sucks. Mmm. Uh, it sure does.

In particular, the department is concerned that the material reference in paragraph 3 of the article makes reference to information that has only had limited dissemination with the company advice of its classified nature. The email which had been identified as the potential source for this article was sent with the subject with request, request, request request request request request request re-cost of the tai to the Australian federal police. So she has been investigated herself by the AFP. I found a clip of her talking on Sky News to Chris Kenny after Anacus Metheus got raided by the AFP where she was like, oh we should probably have an inquiry into it, but sometimes it's good that we have classified stuff. You know it's probably for a good reason. It's nice to have secrets.

It's just great that we have these people that, you know, this is one of the country's major newspapers, the political editor should be the person they're doing the most to sort of hold the government to account, and they're not. They're just sucking them off and then going to work for them. So that's real fucking cool. It's always fun to look at where, yeah, where people go to after like a quote unquote retirement or whatever, like, and just how much it speaks to the kinds of people that they were talking to during that job and the relationship with them that they had. Yes. It's fucking, yeah, it's a dead giveaway. I mean, it's obviously this sort of relationship works both ways.

You look at Chris Kenny as an example, you know, he was an advisor to the Howard government, right? I believe, and now he's working as a political journalist where obviously he fucking never holds the liberals up for anything. Yeah, it's just... And on that note, so a little while ago, so this is probably a week and a half ago, the MP for Eden Manaro, the Labour MP Mike Kelly, who has probably the the direst case of sergeant's mustache I've never seen. So he tearfully resigned from his seat due to, he says, I don't believe I can continue to do the job to the extent and with the commitment and the physical demand that I would want to.

I'd feel like I was letting the community down if I wasn't able to put that commitment in. So he's a former Army colonel who has gotten a whole bunch of health issues due to his, what they think, severe dehydration in, you know, during his military tours in Iraq, Somali, East Timor, etc. So, when became a Labour MP has retired tearfully because of health concerns. And so you would think that's it. This was April 30th.

It's now March 10th, and when, you know, he's just taken a job with Peter Tears Peter Teals company Palinter. Oh awesome! Who operate I think a SAS they're a SAS company Spooks as a service. No nothing okay. Just like the most... Hey, look, I'm sure someone listened to this fucking love that. Someone out there loved that so much. I'm having a little chuckle there. I work in IT.

That's my personality. I love computer. Yeah, like has not waited a single moment before jumping on a company that is potentially so evil that we don't really know what they do all of the time except just sell data to the CIA and the NSA and just a bizarre pipeline. I mean, I think we joke about labor MPs becoming, like immediately jumping in bed with, you know, mines and banks and what have you as chief strategists, but I think this takes the cake. And it's a good thing to think about that

they knew within like 11 days that they could hire this guy, get him on board, even with all of his kidney problems, etc. He's still able to roll up and do whatever he needs to do at Palantia. So good for him. You know, it's easy for us to judge, but they're probably paying him a whole lot of money. So did you consider that?

No, I forgot. I forgot that he would also, he would be getting a pension, but also a whole lot of money from the new job that he just started. Oh, that's right, Be a Tufa. That stuff. Be a Tufa. Well maybe that's that's our crime pass for the week. If you have you know worked in politics or in journalism ostensibly to further the lives of people and to hold power to account. Instead, you can give up all those principles by using any insider knowledge you gained

to help people that fucking suck. Yeah, so feel free to do that. Yeah, I mean, look, there's never, well, should be. But there's never been a better time to quit your job as an MP and go and work for Blackwater. I'm sure Blackwater has now changed their name five times since they were called Blackwater. I'm sure they're now something like, cuddle tech. Yeah, do you think they got too bad of review on glass door?

One star, shot a lot of civilians. Just a lot. Well, I think that's about it for today. Thanks very much for joining us. We're still giving out our bonus episodes for free, because that's the sort of lovely people that we are. You can still, if you want that free stuff for money, subscribe and support the show, Patreon.com slash Bonavista, five US bucks a month gets you a few exclusives and access to the Discord where a lot of people talk about a lot of stuff all day.

I mostly post food picks in there. I only really, I'm active in the Food Discord and that's about it. A food one is probably the best one I think. Theo, you love that food discord as well, you're in there. Oh, I love seeing and posting photos of food. It's the dream. All that can be yours, five US bucks a month, that you were all I just listed before. Yeah, please. Our Grift is the good one. We're very hard working. Thousands of hours behind making a podcast. You wouldn't know it. You wouldn't know it. You wouldn't even think it. You wouldn't even suspect it. You'd say this takes maybe three hours max labor to whip together a week.

And you would be wrong definitely you know the the tree