Boonta Vista - EPISODE 163: Return Of The Mackerel

Episode Date: August 23, 2020

Everyone's here to talk about the magic ticket machine beneath King George Square, accepting the risk that a fish might kill you at any moment, the Masked Singer not being quite masked enough, and the failing body of Steve Bannon. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome, front of Vista, episode 163. I am Ben and I'm here piloting a remote-operated submersible, exploring the abyssal plane. Desperately sucking the meat out of a small spider-like crab and looking dreadfully embarrassed about it. It's a hideous golper eel. It's Theo. Hey, Theo. Hey, Theo's going. It's fine to eat a crab sometimes, man. Like, you don't have to... Like, it's okay. No, no, I mean, if I wasn't embarrassed, I'd feel worse. So this is my coping mechanism. More embarrassed about the fact that you were embarrassed. That's exactly right. It's fantastic. I think abyssal is one of my favorite kinds of planes. It's top-notch like you basically don't, if you're not reading say a supplementary Dungeons and Dragons book with lists of ancient artifacts, you're not

going to encounter the word abyssal a lot. No, we really should be bringing the word abyssal into our everyday lives, normalize abyssal planes. Can you maybe give an example of how you could drop the word abyssal in your like in everyday conversation? So I was looking at myself nude the other day. Fair enough. Fair enough. Uh, wriggling quietly and uselessly beneath this shameful display is an awful little horrible nematode worm.

Hey Lucy, how you doing? Oh, that was rough. That's a rough one. I'm so sorry. I'm good. I'm enjoying myself down here. Yep. Despite the ocean being a disgusting place. I don't know what nematode worms do. I know there are a lot of them on the planet. They live basically everywhere. Well, it's none of your business. I know there are a lot of them on the planet. They live basically everywhere. Well it's none of your business. You know? They're just vibing. Well, fair enough. Just mind your business. Okay. Most of the time I find half of one sticking out of a nematode apple. Lastly, partially obscured by the sediments whipped up by my passage and oblivious to the bright lights starkly illuminating it, using all eight arms to hold up the centerfold of a different porno mag.

It's Andrew, hey. Hey, you should see how many folds come down in this thing. As soon as I turn it sideways, it just keeps unraveling and unraveling, because the creatures that we like to jack off to long. Gross. I've realized that I've not, I didn't actually name a specific creature in that now that I'm looking back at it. Well that kind of makes it scary, it doesn't it? Yeah, you just have eight arms. Eight arms? Arms? Sounds terrifying. So I was looking this up right, because in my mind I was like, this man's an octopus. And I was like, wait, no, I'm pretty sure they're not tentacles. thii. thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th th th th th th th th th th thi. th thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi it's correct that they're not tentacles, but if you were just to say this is a creature with eight arms without immediately picturing an

octopus, I don't like what I'm going to see. Yeah, I think more of a crustacean type thing. I'm picturing the guy from Mortal Kombat, but with more arms. So I was watching um, watching some Cookinthe other day, as I do, on the internet, and I was watching a channel called Cookin' and Grillin' with A.B. This guy who just does lots of like American Southern, soul food kind of stuff, and he was doing a seafood boil because I'm constantly trying to establish whether or not I think a seafood boil is good. It is good, by the way. It good. It's good. It's not as good as I expected Yeah, and like the presentation leaves something to be desired because effectively what happens is you boil up a

whole bunch of different kinds of seafood crab legs lobster tales Shrimp as they would call them you also stick like some corn potatoes and stuff like that we're talking like a like a gumbo style thing you would th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that thi thi that that that that tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th. th th th th. that that that to to that to to to to to to try to to to to try to to try to to to try thi thi thi thi thi thi th also stick like some corn, potatoes and stuff like that. I would tell the water. Like a gumbo style thing? You would think that, right? So you make a big pot of basically like a stock, a broth kind of thing. And then you boil all of the seafood in it and like corn cobs and potatoes and stuff. And then you drain the whole thing off and you just dump all of the the seafood the seafood the seafood the seafood the seafood the seafood like like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the then you drain the whole thing off and you just dump

all of the seafood and vegetables into like a big trough. I've seen some of this and you just pick up and start eating like crab legs and prawns and stuff like that. Oh you also put like a whole bunch of sausage in there. Yeah. I liked it but I had it in Georgia so it was probably especially good. It probably was but like I still I still kind the vibe that like the like the like the like the like the like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th of of of of th of th of th of th of th of th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the thea. s. thea. the thea. the the thea. the the like I still I still kind of get the the vibe that like there's there's little something missing like you said something where you'd be like yeah that's it's good but yeah so anyway when the guy's making this thing he's putting it all into his gigantic pot and stuffing everything in and he's got like long snow crab legs

Which he's just kind of barely got any room for any stuffing them into the top of the pot and it is not a particularly aesthetically pleasing thing to just have these little kithulu monster legs sticking out of the top of the pot of stuff you're making and like coming down over the side It looks a lot like the facehuggers, you know? Sure, yeah. From the alien franchise. Like the fucking, uh, in the thing where the guy's head detaches and it suddenly grows like the weird crab legs. Yep, starts running around, you know?

It looks like those legs. And those are the aid of the things that I have. Yeah, that I'm that I'm that I'm using that I'm using that I'm using the hold up a subterranean point. That's where this whole story was going. And this is the magic of podcasting is that you can create vivid pictures using only words. Only words and nothing more. Sometimes sound effects there. You know? I really thought you were just going to smash your soundboard right then and. Well, I was thinking about it because I looked overhead and I saw a boat passing above us. The bright lights not really bothering me definitely scaring Theo. He's dropped the crab leg that he was fiendishly sucking off.

And it's darted behind Ben submersible. Because I do in fact see a boat up there, which must mean it's time for, boat watch. Can I, before we launch into our boat watch stories we have in the notes, can I present to you a novel and original boat watch story from my own life? Would that be acceptable to you? So yesterday, uh... Hold on, will you be presenting the story with words? Yes, I will. This is a going to be another one of those word pictures.

I was hanging out with a friend of mine yesterday. We were just going around looking at garage sales and shit, and at the end of the day, before I had to start working, he was like, I've got to go pay the mooring fees for my boat, which makes it sound very tha the situation is that he, in lieu of renting in a sharehouse anymore, he spent $5,000 on an extremely decrepit ferro cement motor yacht that doesn't work any more. Like the generator on it doesn't work, it hasn't moved from the moorings near Garden Point in like 30 years. Like, if the boat the moa try to pay the moa, the to the mo-pay, pay the moa, pay the moa, pay the moa, pay the moa, pay the moa, pay the moa, pay the moa, pay the moa, pay the moa, pay the moa, the the the the the the the the th, the th, to pay to pay to pay the to pay the to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay, to pay the to pay, to pay, to pay, to pay, to pay, to pay, to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to pay to the the the to the the the the to the the the the to to to to to to the the to the to the the moa, to the moa, the moa, the moa, the moor, the mooring, toe, the moa, toe, toe, toe, toe, to to to anymore. Like the generator on it doesn't work, it hasn't moved from the moorings near Garden Point

in like 30 years. Like if the boat tried to move, it would probably sink. It is an absolute fucking nightmare. He took us out there. It was genuinely terrifying. We tried to get the generator off it. We almost died. It was a whole of the thing. I've got to pay my mooring fees. And I'm like, oh, I mean, surely like, you can just do that online, because this is through

Brisbane City Council. Like you just go to a website and you pay the fees. He's like, oh, no, it's a little different to that. Doesn't really tell us what that entails. And I'm like, okay. And then he's like, you know, you've got to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to like, to like, to like, to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to'm thinking he's making like some joke about, you know, look, it's like a dodgy backroom deal or whatever. And then he pulls off near Roma Street parklands. We walk towards King George Square.

I'm painting a word picture here for people from Brisbane. Oh, I'm enjoying it. This means nothing to me. I am. You know the weird building that it has the Medicare office in the bottom floor and it looks like it's made of Minecraft? It's like a white-ish medium-sized skyscraper with a big red stripe on it. It's just across from the cathedral near King George Square. Oh yes. So we're near there. He leads us around the corner of that building. We go down a set of stairs. And then we go into an underground car park, a regular ass underground car park such as you would see anywhere in the city.

We go up to one of those big yellow kiosks which is where you pay for parking your car. And there I cannot stress enough that this is a perfectly ordinary machine. There are no signs on it that would indicate that it is anything other than a ticket-taking machine. You know, you say, I was here for however many hours, you put your thing in you, whatever you pay for it. It's just a fucking ticket machine for an underground car park next to King George Square. We walk up to it, he presses the intercom button on it, which I didn't even know those things had one of. Oh, they all do. I've never pressed one.

They'll always say that if you lose your ticket or whatever or if you've been ripped off in some way. You press the thing and someone goes... What they say to you is... Yeah, and then you say, hey, uh, what the fuck's going on with? And they go, just here, have a, have a ticket. Just leave me. God, I wish that was the case. For me, it's like, hey, I lost my ticket and then great. $150. $1.50. I have $48. Fn't $48.00.00.00.00. F00. F00. F00. F00. Ff $48. Ffffffffffffffff, $48. th $48. th $1. th $1. th $1. th $1. th $1. th $1. thock. thock thock th $1. tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' the tho' the the the th $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $1 $1 $1. th $1.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00. th $1.00. th $1. th $1. th $1. th $1. th $1.00. thi $1.00.00.00. thi $1.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00. th this machine. He presses the intercom button. It rings for a very, very, very long time. Then a woman's voice comes on and says, hello, and he says,

Hi, I'd like to pay my mooring fees, and she says, okay, I'll call you back. And then she hangs up the intercom. We stand there for about a minute and a half, and then a woman that I don't see, because this happens behind... The ticket machine obscures her from view, but one of the like emergency stairwell doors opens. Someone walks through it, goes into an office that is immediately next to the ticket machine that we're at, that has all of the blinds closed, shuts the door, the intercom rings us, and she says, okay, what's your mooring number? He tells her the mooring number.

She goes, great, before you pay, please press the receipt button. He presses the receipt button. A number flashes up on the screen. He pays with his the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the receipt button. He presses the receipt button. A number flashes up on the screen. He pays with his credit card. She says, can you read me the receipt number? He reads her the receipt number and she says, great, you paid up for two weeks and then we exit the car park and leave. Just out of curiosity, did you did you see the number? I think it was around 140 bucks? Something along those lines. And what sort of time period does that cover your form?

I think that's two weeks. Yeah. Are you guys okay up there? Is everything good? This is the strangest thing I've ever seen by God-demeanor. And I was just like, wait, so when you got this, did they tell you you could pay at any Brisbane Brisbane City Council ticket terminally. He's like, no, it's just this one. Okay, it's even normal. I am, I'm still completely dumbfounded by this. There is no way that this is the only

system they have in place for paying for this. It was just so deeply strange. I kept sort of looking around for some sign that would indicate that this was a special ticket machine. Nothing. I will say I think that this lifestyle probably, as far as boat lifestyles go, apart from being a decrepit, unlivable boat. Sounds like the best scenario for me and Lucy because you can be on a boat but it doesn't have to be detached from something that is also attached to the land. That's true. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. So if you just had like a nice boat, like a reasonable houseboat that was just affixed to something. That'd be a pretty nice life. That's not bad. Yeah, I was watching a video of a guy built his own houseboat the other day.. And he th, and he th, and he, and he, and he, and he, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thr. So, thrown, to to to to throoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.. Soboat the other day. And he, you know, had it all filled with insulation, and he had like wired up a little two-story thing. All of his stuff was powered off like gas canisters

that he could get swapped out. He had a bunch of solar panels, all that sort of thing. Yet, the video also had like a strong divorced dad vibe because he was like, I still have teenage sons that want to come and live here, yet I am maintaining a large property and cars and everything, despite my son's not living with me the vast majority of the time. Oh no. So I thought I would transition to this boating lifestyle, although I think it was just kind of like at a, you know, at a mooring, just on a lake.

So he couldn't really take it anyway. He th a boat th a But still good. You got a boat's just nice, depending on the boat. I don't want to disparage. There's a small chance that Chevron might listen to this. And like it is a beautiful boat that is a very bad state of disrepair. And honestly getting like any boat that still floats that is big enough to live on for five grand is like insane. This boat's just cost an insane amount of money. It's just, it's going to take so much work to repair it. And also I think I had like vaguely traumatizing flashbacks to when we first moved on the boat when I was a teenager because like it was also a big piece of shit where they're just like there are holes in the floor, there are holes in the roof, everything is just like loose wires dangling out of the ceiling and there's fucking bilge water everywhere and like you get used to the filth after a while,

but just being back and there I was just like, oh god this is what it's like. But I wish him nothing but the best of luck. He just found a replacement for the sharehouse that he was he was he was he was he was he was he was in he was in he's he's he's he's he's he's he's the the the the the the the the their their their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the thi. th. th. th. their their their their. their. their. their. their. their their their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their th. th. th. the. the. the. theat theat theat theat the. the. theat the. the thean. their their their their their thehouse that he was in and he's about to move on to the boat full-time. Doesn't have a toilet. Hmm. Lovely spot on the beautiful Brisbane River though. Wonderful view of the Story Bridge. Gorgeous. Well, is that where you have to shit? I think that's where he'll be shitting, yeah. Well, all right.

Big beautiful brown river. Yeah, I mean honestly, a turn at the Brisbane River is like a fucking white bird in a blizzard. Never say it. Well, that story is nothing if not a testament to the resale value of a boat. Sure. You know? Uh, $5,000 for something that you can't do anything with and can't really live in either. Mm-hmm. But he's going to give it a red-hot go.

Good on him. Yeah, from the show, we all wish him the best of luck, and we'll all be chipping in for a nice toilet bucket. You've met Chev a bunch of times. Yeah. This seems extremely in character for him, right? Like, this is the most chev thing you can possibly do. Yeah, you know, I assume you didn't act surprised when it happened. Oh, no, not at all. Okay. Off to pay rent at the parking kiosk.

Very strange. It's like some weird Harry Potter shit. And don't tell me to read another book. But I mean, it's like, it's such a weirdly specific thing to be like, no, this ordinary everyday thing in no specific place is to be like, no, this ordinary everyday thing in no specific place is the important one. Baffling. My kids were watching Harry Potter the other night, we put it on for him and then after a bit we were like, oh fuck, these movies are like three hours long. They're so long and there's so many of them.

That's a combined run-time of like fucking 24 hours. Huh. Now, uh, speaking of both bots andams which we love we love a good scam unless it's really nasty. We found a limit. Yeah what was what was that limit? It was defrauding. It was defrauding. You don't want to see the old defrauding pensioners. But this one's good. Scams are good again baby. Well hold on let on. Let me just, yeah, pension is bad. Very wealthy retirees who are trying to turn their many millions of dollars into even more millions of dollars. If they get a hundred thousand dollars stolen off, and that's just comedy. So this was from the New York Times this week. Steve Bannon has been charged with fraud in we build the wall campaign I feel like this is pretty loosely related to boats.

So good. So good. Well, it gets quite heavily boat related about halfway through. Okay. Um, Stephen K. Bannon, President Trump's former advisor and an architect of his 2016 general election campaign was charged on Thursday with defrauding donors to a private fundraising effort called We Build the Wall, which was intended to bolster the President's signature initiative along the Mexican border. I was just thinking about the border wall thing the other day and how like, um, everything

with the Trump presidency has been simultaneously ridiculous and predictable. But I wonder if maybe like the wall is going to be the most sort of perfectly emblematic reminder of his time in office. Yeah. Yeah, there's just going to be decrepit, like run down pieces of it standing in the middle of like swampland where they cut off like two almost extinct populations of things and that will just be falling down for the next 20,000 years. Yeah, just every now and then, every here and there, just a couple of panels of this thing

built by crooked contractors that you wanted to funnel a bit of money to, yep. While insisting the whole time that it was pretty much done, you know. It's good to go. Mr. Bannum, working with a wounded Air Force veteran and a Florida venture capitalist conspired to cheat hundreds of thousands of donors by falsely promising that their money had been set aside for new sections of wall, according to federal indictment unsealed in Manhattan. Hey would you like to purchase a bit of wall? It's like those scams where they like would you like one square meter of the moon? Yes, I certainly would please. That would be dope.

If you know how to sell us one square meter of moon right into Buntavista. I'm also very interested in getting one square meter of land in Scotland if that allows me to become a noble of some sort, that would be great as well. I remember those. They're big. I love that one, don't they? What about the ones where you get to name a star?

And then say that that star is your star? But we've got enough of them, you know, like 400 billion? Yeah, everyone, like, couple. How many have we got T-Bird? Yeah, we're talking where? Here, in our galaxy. Oh, it's... It's impossible for us to know. Yeah, we don't know. I don't think that's true, but... So why can't I lay claim to the sun, huh? True, thrown I of them. So many and people claiming them, why can't I point at that one and say it's mine?

Quit hogging the sun, brah. Yeah. Then you could start charging people for tanning, all kinds of stuff. That's my solar radiation, you're a piece of shit. Yeah, start taking a cut from all the solar energy that people generate with the panels. Hey, it's my star. It's my, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. th. th. th. It's th. th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's just th. that's that, it's just that's th. th. th. th. th. thoom. thoom. tho. tho. tho, tho, tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thee. the. theeee. thoooo, it's my star, I put my name on. You can basically, you can charge rent to everyone except the weird worms that live on those volcanic vents at the bottom of the ocean. They don't need it. No, no, they've got it made. Who to be a weird worm?

Hush the fundraising effort collected more than $25 million. God people are fucking chumps. Oh, that owns. I mean, I don't think this is specifically like a right-wing phenomenon either. You know, they'll be like, it's a video of someone at Starbucks being mildly passively aggressive to someone in a market. Had the next day, there will be a go fund me where someone's raised them $50 million. Yeah. there will be a go fund where someone's raised them 50 million dollars and you're like, okay we could have maybe like, I don't know, given them a thousand dollars.

Citizens' Health Care. Can I say something, I don't know if this is contentious or not, but this is how I feel about people on the left wing with the petitions? Oh, you do that to make yourself feel good. Sign this petition to say, be nice to Puerto Rico. What's a petition ever done for anybody? Really? Like, even ones that go through like, you know, proper political channels, it's like, we have presented you with this petition with two million signatures on asking for this thing,

and they go, thank you, and they take it off and then they're took it off them and the tungo to turn straight straight straight straight straight straight straight straight straight straight straight straight straight straight straight straight straight and to to to to to to their to th and did exactly that in Queensland for the marijuana laws. Oh yeah, it was like one of the highest participation rates in a petition in like the state's history. That's right, and they looked at it and they went, uh, we won't be doing that and they threw it straight in the bin. The response from the government was amazing. They just said, uh, we won't be doing that because we we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, uh, uh, uh, we won't, we won't, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we're, we, we're, we're, we're, we're, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't th.. We won't th. th. that's the, oh god damn it! It's so good. That's my favorite conservative thing is like, oh you're supporting something despite it

being against the law? Yeah. How can we're supposed to be legal wouldn't it be legal right now? That's right. We're not just going to legalize a crime. That's a crime. That's right. Can't make crime legal. What would the world be, you know? But, that's right? That's right? That's right? That's that, th, th, th, th. But, th, th, th. th. th. th th th th th th th th. th th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tho, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's that's th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateate. It's th. That's right. Can't make crime legal. What would the world be? You know? But yes I agree. I love those petitions from like liberals that are just like petitioned to say that we think Donald Trump sucks. It's like, oh fuck, you got him. Yeah. And it also it doesn't matter like how legitimate the cause is or how well-intentioned or anything like that. It just, it just doesn't fucking to mean anything to get like, to that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, that, that, th. Oh, th. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, th. Oh, th. Oh, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it-intentioned or anything like that, it just doesn't fucking mean anything to get like 600,000 signatures on a change dot org petition. Yeah, you know all you've done is generate like several million rows of data in the change to the database.

I mean you've given your email. Yeah you've put six thousand people on a mailing list that's the productive thing that you've done from it. Like, and please, write into mail bag at Punta Vista.com, Theo. If you actually have any examples. I'm never going to remember that. If you actually have any examples of a time that like this had any kind of effect, because as we all know, I am frequently wrong and perfectly comfortable with being proven to be wrong. That is true.

Yeah, the rest of us nail it every fucking time. Never. their 400 million, 400 billion stars in the galaxy. Who even cares? Yeah, so somebody gets like a viral tweat that has like a and ninety five thousand likes and then they go, ah well to put some good karma back in the universe I'm going to thread 20 petitions. All right now you all have to sign these petitions. Even then like when they do put something genuinely good at the bottom it's amazing you'll see someone be like a stunt on this pussy and it will have 250,000 retweets and then at the bottom they've tho they'll they'll they'll th. th. th. th. they'll th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that thate all all all all all all all all all all all all the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. the all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all. th. th. th. th. th. th. they'll th. the. theat. tho. theat. theat. theat. th. th. theate. th. th. they'll they'll they'll they'll th. they'll the bottom they've been like, please donate to this very important cause and three people will like it. Yeah. The algorithm's bad, folks.

And even like people doing, you know, go fund me's and stuff like that, I feel like there's a lot of those that I look at and I go. Yeah, like, you could be a real person with real problems that need help and you could be Stephen Bannon making a, help me, help me fund this...... the algorithm. the algorithm. the algorithm. the algorithm. the algorithm. the algorithm. the algorithm. the algorithm. the algorithm. the algorithm. the algorithm. the algorithm. the algorithm. It's. The algorithm. It's. It's, the algorithm. The algorithm. The algorithm. It's bad. The algorithm. It's bad. The algorithm. The algorithm. The algorithm. The algorithm. It's, the algorithm. The algorithm. The algorithm. The algorithm. The algorithm. The algorithm. The algorithm. The algorithm. The algorithm. The algorithm. The algorithm. The algorithm. The algorithm. The algorithm. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the algorithm. Yeah, the, the, the, the, the algorithm. Yeah, the, the the the the the algorithm. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the algorithm. Yeah, the algorithm. Yeah, the algorithm. Yeah, the algorithm. Yeah, the algorithm. Yeah, a help me fund this fucking thing that I will immediately just stick all of the money into my pocket who the fuck knows fundraising effort collected more than 25 million dollars and prosecutor said mr. Bannon used nearly one million dollars of it for personal expenses and that's exercising a lot of restraint yeah that's not much yeah a small portion free Steve free Steve not even half of it for personal expenses. And that's exercising a lot of restraint. Yeah, that's not much. Yeah. A small portion. Free Steve, but not even half of it. Free Steve. He's just taking a little bit off the top. Wet and his whistle. Yep. You got to wet your beak. It's got bills. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of other people. That is so true. Despite the populist aura he he tip. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. Free. Free. Free. Free. Free. Free. th. Free. Free. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. th. A. th. th. to. th. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. thries to project, Mr. Bannon is known to enjoy the high life

and he was arrested at 7.15 a.m. on a $35 million 150-foot yacht belonging to one of his business associates, the Fugitive Chinese billionaire, Guo Wengui, law enforcement officials, said, Fugitive Chinese billionaire. It's pretty cool. I'm just getting more and more respect for Stephen Bannon as the story goes on. Stealing a million dollars from my idiot political followers while I hang out with my Chinese billionaire fugitive friend on his big assy yacht. It doesn't necessarily say that Boer Winkie was on the boat at the time, which is even better.

You just hanging out on your friend's Super Yacht you couldn't possibly afford. We were talking on the most recent bonus episode about Super Yacht influencer, Raphael Nadal, and his new like 80-foot catamaran, which was gigantic and absolutely absurd and seemed to cost somewhere in the realms of like 10 to 15 million Australian dollars. Imagine what a 35 million US dollar 150-foot yacht is like. Very good is my assumption. Probably nicer to live on than Chev spoke. I'm gonna say yes there are probably 10 toilets on that super yacht. Working with the Coast Guard, special agents from the United States Attorney's

Office in Manhattan and Federal Postal Inspectors. God what an image. I fucking love how America has just like all these, obviously don't love, love it, but like they have all these weird subsidiary police, like law enforcement things. Like in Australia, you know, park rangers are technically law enforcement officers because they can do whatever. But like in America, Amtrak has a police force. Mmm. Train cops. It's very bad. It's very bad. Like we all saw during all the BLM protests, how they would just have these like unmarked miscellaneous federal agents.

Turn up and they're like, who the fuck are these people? And they're like, oh, they're from the prisons bureau. Here's a bunch of corrections officers kitted out like a SWAT team. Awesome. With no idea on them or anything. And who was the other one? There was another... They brought in Homeland Security. the, like, like, like, like, like, the, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, the other one? There was another they brought in Homeland Security as well and

But just to just don't I'm agents where they using ice agents for the fucking protests All kinds of things but it was obvious from some of them that they were just like hey we are a department that doesn't actually have a reason to have this type of thing, like the prisons bureau where it's like, surely if you are operating like a state prison and something happens that requires like a fucking SWAT team, you get the state police and their SWAT team to come and do it. If it is a federal thing that requires like a military-grade response, I am given to understanding that the federal government of the United States has actually put a bit of money aside for the military. Just a little. So the idea that like you should be spending all this money on kidding out and training

like fucking military forces for the prisons so that you get to these situations where they're like, oh fuck, yes, yes, this is it, please put us in. Tag me in. I think, I think Andrew, you might also be, have been referring to the border police in Portland. They were quite active on Twitter for a bit and everyone's like, where's the fucking border? But of course, America being the cool land that it is, anywhere within 100 miles, I believe, of the ocean, is in the border police's jurisdiction. So just have a little chew on that one. I'm assuming the same for the southern border as well. Yes, something all the signs. But yeah, in Portland, which is absolutely nowhere near any other country apart from the United States.

They're like... Protesters were throwing caltrops at our fucking APCs. You should feel bad. I assume in this case when we say federal postal inspectors, we are all picturing people in the short shorts and the long gray socks. Yeah. Boarding and then starting to like pick up evidence and put it into their mail satchels. Square hat brim. They got those, uh their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. th. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. tops. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. t Boarding and then starting to like pick up evidence and put it into their mail satchel. Square hat-room. They got those little vans where the steering wheels on the wrong side and there are no doors.

Uh-huh. Federal postal inspectors boarded the yacht. The official said that Mr. Bannon 66 was on deck drinking coffee and reading a book. Okay. That book was of course a dual combined edition of The Art of War and Mindcum. I want to know what he was reading. I feel like that's an important piece of information here. Eat, Pray, Love. I feel like there are a lot of books out there that would be like a perfect match-up between like his particular interests.

Clear and present Hitler. So at a brief arraignment on Thursday, Mr. Bannon sunburned and his hair unbrushed. What a lovely little detail to throw in there. Taking that down. You don't have to, you can probably just say, Mr. Bannon looking like he normally does, which is like absolute fucking dog shit. Looks like shit at all times. Oh my God. Like, if at some point, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi thi thi thi. So, thi. So, thi. does, which is like absolute fucking dog shit. Like shit, looks like shit at all times. Oh my god, like if at some point he came out and was like, hey, please stop saying all this stuff about me, I have an autoimmune disease.

He'd be like, oh, but it's nothing. He's just a guy who is just, something has gone wrong. Yeah, and rich people have no excuse for not looking great all of the time. No, he should have like the blood of, you know, 16-year-olds being pumped into him like every day to keep him vital and instead, You know, looks like he's falling apart like if he touched him too hard part of his cheek would fall off. Hmm. Yeah. So I'm just thinking of now, anybody watch that new horror movie relic? No. I have watched the 90s horror movie relic though. That is not the same thing. This one is much more like Ariaster's hereditary.

Oh yeah. It's elevated. It's elevated. Not for me. I don't like that kind of elevated horror. I like my horror simple. But yeah, there is a bit of the kind of touching someone in their skin falling off kind of vibe in that movie and that is what Steve Bannon gives me the feeling of, you know?

Imagine you lean in and deeply kiss Steve Bannon running your fingers through his hair as a whole patch of his scalp comes away in your hand. It's like the first half of brain dead where they're still pretending that the family is alive. Yeah, but like they're clearly just falling apart. Like big patches of their bodies just like falling into their dinner. Yeah, that's similar as his mother's ear slides off into her soup. So good. Before anyone yells at us, we do think he's a bad person also. It's not because that he looks disgusting. No, it's just because he looks disgusting. I

support his actions. It's legal to look like shit, but so you know he's going off on it basically. It is it is interesting that they note this as opposed to the fact he he does just always look like shit. Yeah. He looks like a man who does enjoy the high life. A little too much. Hmm. He pleaded guilty. Oh sorry he pleaded not guilty. Big difference. Big oversight of the different ways you plead. I mean not guilty. Damn. Pleaded not guilty to charges of wire fraud conspiracy and money laundering conspiracy, each of which carries a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison. The government agreed to release him in custody on a $5 million bond. It would be nice. You could just get your fugitive Chinese billionaire friend to pay for him. Come I'll pay you back. Just a fiver.

Just a cheeky fiver. So according to authorities, Mr. Bannon hatch the plot to defraud the donors with three other men, Brian Colfage, a 38-year-old Air Force veteran and triple amputee from Miramar Beach, Andrew Badolato 56 of venture capitalists from Sarasota, Florida, and Timothy Shea, 49 of Castle Rock, Colorado. When you're venture capitalists, do you really need to do conspiracies to steal like a couple of million dollars from some roost? Well, same thing with Steve Bannon, right?

So he is already independently wealthy, right? So I believe somewhat through the syndication of Seinfeld. Uh-huh. And for me, that would be that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that, that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that that that that thi is thi is thi is thi is through the syndication of Seinfeld. And for me, that would be it. Unless defrauding the stupidest people in America is sort of just like a hobby for him. Cherry on the Sunday. I guess you've got to entertain yourself somehow when you got all that money. That's right. Got to get your kicks. So the other guys were arrested in Florida on Thursday and Mr. Shea who prosecuted said funneled money for the group through a shell company he owned was arrested in Denver. Mr. Colfage created We Build the Wall as a Go Fund Me page in December 2018, it was an

immediate success raising nearly 17 million million in its first week online. That in itself is just so funny. It's so pathetic. It's very pathetic. Um, Andrew, now that we're talking about Mr. Colfage, I have linked a little video in the, in the show, and I'm wondering whether, it's just 20 seconds long, I'm wondering whether you can hit the play button on that bad boy. I can probably do that.

Welcome back. This is Stephen K. Bannon. We're off the coast of San Tropey in southern France and the Mediterranean. We're on the million dollar yacht of Brian Kofaj and Brian Kofaj and he took all that money from Bill the Wall. Now we're actually in Sunlin Park, New Mexico. See you probably shouldn't say that that that that that that that that that. that that. that that that all that money from Bill the Wall. No, we're actually in Sunland Park, New Mexico. See, you probably shouldn't say that. Other things you should say if you don't want to be caught

and arrested for your fraud. Just kidding. We're absolutely not siphoning cash fraud. Do we tell them all? Don't worry about it. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That is pretty good. Oh boy, $17 million in its first week.

And like, once again, I don't, I know that we all really puzzle at the psychology of like the Trump voter who, you know, has been fired from their job or hasn't seen a pay rise in 20 years, any of these things, you know, no health care, no financial security, who looks at people like Stephen Bannon and goes, huh, here's this guy off the south of France on a million dollar yacht and he's asking me to send him money. This would really show them. Doesn't puzzle me anymore. I've just realized how much America is just the American psyche is that of a cuck. Like, just the kind of things that you see Americans say about just, you know, just they love getting walked all over. They live for it. Do you think like, you know the phrase,

all Americans are temporarily embarrassed millionaires? About the American dream, that while it's supposed to be the country that is the land of opportunity and everything, it means that everybody is thinking of themselves as just on the cusp of that success. They're not like a poor person because they're a hard worker and blah blah blah all the things that they have because it's a meritocracy they have all the qualities that would make them a rich person. They're just for some reason it's not happened yet but they're not like the other kind of filthy poor people you know but I don't even know if they believe that I feel like they just they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the the th th th I th to thi to thi thi to thi thi thi thi to thi thi thi thi thi their their they're they're they're they're they're I feel like they just, you know, they look at someone like Jeff Bezos and they genuinely

think, well, he earned that. He deserves that. Well, that's kind of what I'm saying. I think that like, I think that you can see it in other aspects of the country and its industries too in things like, things like, you know, LA, a city where some reasonable segment of the population would have moved there with thi that that that I I I I I I I I I I I I I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm to be that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm going to be that I'm that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that I that I that I that I that I that I that I to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the population would have moved there with the intention of I'm going to become a big star in Hollywood. Not like all these other people who are trying to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to spend five years or 10 years or 15 years waiting tables and try to get auditions and everything but I'm the one. I serve Brian to Palmer. Served Brian to Parma. He hears my the the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention. the intention. the intention. the intention. the intention. the intention. the intention. the intention. the intention. the intention. the intention. the intention. the intention. the intention. the intention. the the the the the the the intention of the intention of the intention. the the intention. the the te. the te. the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention of the intention. the intention. the the intention. the the the tables and trying to get auditions and everything but I'm the one. I serve Brian to Palmer. Serve Brian to Palmer one time.

He hears my extremely good Italian accent and I've got it made. Yeah. I'm shooting into stardom. But again, it's this whole thing of like your life can really not be going the way that you want it to, but as long as you can say to yourself, hey, any minute now, th..... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi. thi. thrine, thra. thra. the thra. train, try, the try thae. the try to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the that you want it to, but as long as you can say to yourself, hey, any minute now, any minute now, my train's coming in, you know? And it means that you will look at people like Stephen Bannon and Jeff Bezos and all these other people and say, yeah, there's someone who made it. And that's what I want to be, so criticizing them and looking at them poorly,

would be like speaking poorly of my future self. True. You know, I don't want to do that. And that's why I'm sending my entire paycheck to build the wall. Oh, good lord. And also it doesn't even make sense like, it's, this is definitely one that only makes any form of sense in the context of,

I am doing this because I want to make Libs mad, I want to make left-wing people mad, because like what more position of power does the right need to occupy in terms of getting this done as a particular thing. They have all the resources of America's federal government. They could say, we're going to put 5% of the defense budget this year to just knock on this wall thing over. You know, they got the money, they got the resources. It is just- The swamp load that won't let them do it.

The deep state won't let them do it. The left wing actually run everything. But it is also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also alsothe wall in and of itself is also just it's almost like physically impossible to do right? It's the dumbest idea that has ever been talked about in world history. Yeah so so it either can be done or it can't be done and if it can be done they should have been able to do it with the resources and the political will available all that sort of thing and if it can't be done why the fuck you're giving the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the resources and the political will available, all that sort of thing, and if it can't be done, why the fuck are you giving them money to keep doing it?

Absolutely absurd. But don't worry, they got some foolproof shit going on here besides going on film and saying we stole the money for a yacht. To persuade potential donors to contribute to the effort, prosecutor said, Mr. Colfage promised them that he would, quote, not take a penny in salary or compensation, and that all of the money he raised would be used, quote, in the execution of our mission and purpose. You probably shouldn't have put that in writing. Probably not. If you were going to take all the money, you know?

According to the indictment, Mr. Bannon described We Build the Wall as a, quote, volunteer organization. As a new volunteer to give us money. But all of that was false, prosecutors said, meanly. Instead, they claimed Mr. Colfidge secretly took more than $350,000 in donations and spent it on home renovations, boat payments, a luxury SUV, a golf cart, jewelry and cosmetic surgery. I'm quite quite curious about that last one because I can always wish they've gone into more detail because there's a chance here that by cosmetic surgery this is a man who is a triple

amputee veteran from Iraq. I don't know if maybe he had some sort of, that like there's a chance maybe he had burns or something that he was getting addressed with cosmetic surgery or he was getting lip fillers done. Hopefully the latter. I hope it's the latter. The ladder is much funnier. I hope he has a big juicy rack and big juicy lips. He's got those, the graphs you get put in your ass and he's rolling around looking the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th. He's got those the graphs you get put in your ass and he's rolling around looking hot as fuck. That's hopes that. And also he's going to the try to prison. Yes he's gonna look hot as fucking in prison. The golf cart is. How much does a golf cart cost? Just in terms of like a luxury SUV and a golf cart? I don't know, I don't, I've never tried to buy a golf

card. I've never considered it. It's like it's steering rack, some plastic, and a little electric motor and some batteries. There's not much to it. Oh I bet like a lot of things you can make it as expensive as you like. Sure. Maybe the kinds of people who think that golf is like a cool luxury sport like Donald Trump. He clearly thinks that it is the sport of Kings. And there's nothing cool than- So stupid, anti-gulf. Nothing cooler than being at the clubhouse, all that kind of stuff. So I bet that there are people who would be perfectly happy to sell you a golf cart for 20 or 30,000 dollars. Oh, God. I'm looking at at golf carts on gum tree right now.

On gum tree? Yeah. Some second hand-on-one hundred bucks. This is awesome. Ninete hundred bucks here for an easy go electric golf cart. Has rear box batteries only 12 months old. Running slowly and forwards actually goes a tii bit quicker in reverse. That's a bit of an added bonus really, isn't it?

This one seller is selling a bunch of other ones as well and it looks like the standard price range for a second-hand good quality golf cart. You're looking about five, six grand. These are actually pretty cheap some of these. I kind of want to... If I spent $1,500 on a golf cart it will have cost me three times as much as my car. I probably shouldn't get a golf cart. Just get a golf cart instead. Yeah it's true. See we're gonna trade in the Falcon for like a little two-seat golf cart. Get it road registered? Don't have to pay for Reggio? Yeah.

Just stay on the footpath. I'm doing the start of LA Story, just going through people's backyards every day, waving at them. Good movie. Great movie. Wonderful movie. Watch the movie LA Story. Hmm. Mr. Bannum working through an unnamed non-profit organization received more than one million dollars from We build the wall. Prosecutor said some which which which th th to to th to th to to th th th to th th th th th th thu, thu, thu, just just just just just just just just just just just just just just tho, just tho, just tho, just tho, just tho, just tho, just tho, just just just tho, just tho, just tho, just the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just just just just just, just just, just just just just just just tho, just tho, just tho, just tho, just tho, just thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, just just the the the the $1 million from We Build the Wall. Prosecutor said some of which used to pay off hundreds of thousands of dollars in personal expenses. Beautiful. Now that's a classic scam. That's a feel-good story. You can do anything if you put your mind to it. Guess so. The American Dream is real. Yeah, if you can find someone to, you know, find someone to sign up for it, give you their paycheck for something.

That expression. A fool and his money are soon paying for your boat. This is like a, this is a political version of the snake oil salesman, isn't it? Hey, some nondescript thing that will render some type of benefit for you. It will cure all your ills. If we put the wall up, give the pay their it, give it, give it, give it, give it their it their it their it, give it their it their it their it, give it, give their it their it their it their it their it their it, give their it, give their it, give their it, give their it, give their it, give their paycheck, give their paycheck, give their paycheck, give their paycheck, give their paycheck, give their their their their it, give their it, give their it, give their it, give their it, give their it, give their it, give it, give it, give it, give it, give their it their it their it their it their it their it their it their it their their their their their pay their pay their pay pay to to to their paycheck to to to to their pay pay pay pay to to their paycheck, give their pay pay pay their pay their paycheck, give theircript thing that will render some type of benefit for you. It will cure all your ills. If we put the wall up, suddenly you will be able to afford your diabetes medication. Society will be better. Everyone will be safer. At least lips will be triggered. Yep, everyone will be treated. Your wife will come back, be allowed to see your kids. Hi everybody, it's me. It's Theo.

Now I guarantee you I'm more afraid of recording this promo than you are ever listening to it, so hear me out. If you haven't already, maybe check out our Patreon. It's a great way to support the show, and it gives us the ability to actually dedicate time to this thing. You'll get all of our bonus episodes. It's over 300 extra episodes in total and we'll set up a feed over there with none of these promos So you won't have to hear this ever again You'll also get access to our discord which honestly is turned into a nice and funny place full of mostly normal people to hang out with So that's Patreon.com slash Bunter Vista check it out

Well things are not going well for Steve Bannon and so... Go on. Things are not going that well for Steve Bannon and Lucy has just informed us that things are starting to not go so well for her in quarantine. Given that it is a two-week confinement to a hotel room and she did just say to us before we started that now a weekend and it's starting to lose hotel room. And she did just say to us before we started that now a weekend and it's starting to lose some of its shine. It sure is. You're leading somewhere with this or just want to talk about my misery. No, no, I'm going somewhere with it. So you had also told us that you'd been watching a lot of Australian TV and quarantine. And you had been, uh, I think the way that you put it was I have been a th. th. th. th. th. th. the way th. to to to to to to to to to to the way to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to lose a to lose a to lose a to lose a to lose to lose to lose a to to to to to to to to to to to to lose. And it's to lose. And it's to lose, to lose, and it's to lose, and it's to lose, and it's to lose, to lose, to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to us that you've been watching a lot of Australian TV and quieting. And you had been, I think the way that you put it was, I have been away for two years and

I've come back and it is all exactly the same people on television. It's all huesy, all Pete Hellier laughing at his own jokes. God, every mother fucker on Australian TV just has that like morning radio host energy. I really do, huh? I don't care for it. Well, because you know that everybody who is on like any type of TV show that we make, which is just variety shows, panel shows, and I guess, dramas that are some spin on sea change or whatever. But everybody who's been on any of the former two has also done some stints

hosting like the breakfast radio thing of Triple M. Yes, absolutely. So they all they all have the same thing which is like the whole time you're talking you have to be half laughing to indicate to the audience how funny this whole thing is. We're having a good time. Exactly. Oh boy. So, amongst the shows on Australian TV that we look at and go, huh? There is the masked singer.

I'm so happy about this because me and Jesse watch the American version all the time. So, so hold on, what what kind of celebrities do you get in the American version? Because I've seen a little bit of, I've seen like some of the reveals of the British one. Some of them I have no idea who they are in America, but in general they like bigger celebrities? Are they like like like like like like like like like like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. They're like th. They're like th. They're like th. They're like th. They're like th. They're like th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. I th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I their. I their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I their. I. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I'm their their th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I their. I have no idea who they are in America, but in general they're like bigger celebrities. Are they like Nicola Shea, like that type of? Yeah, they're like that level of celebrity. There's someone where you would go, oh yeah, you were doing a thing. They're generally bigger, but so we used to watch the like, I tried to watch some of the Australian ones as well, and we watched a bunch of the reveals, the reveals, the reveals, the reveals, the reveals, the reveals, the reveals, the reveals, the reveals, the reveals, the reveals, the reveals, the reveals, the reveals, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, th, th, th, the, thee, the, the, the, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, like, they're, like, like, like to me confused and then I would be like I don't I don't know

I don't know who that is like that's Marsha Heinz's daughter. Oh my god. There was nobody. I remember seeing this like because they were fucking making me right about a fucking pedestrian one up there. The that the there was a reveal or it turned out that the parrot was Brett Lee. Yes that was the only. the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the the the th. I th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I th. I th. I don't that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't thi. I don't th. I th. I thi. I don't th. I thi. I don't thi. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. it turned out that the parrot was Brett Lee. Yes, that was the only good one. And Lindsay Lowen was on the panel and had to be like, oh my god, it's Brett Lee. You don't fucking know who Brettley is. There's not a chance of the world. That's the only one that excited me and husband of the show Jesse was like, who is that? And I was like, it's fucking Brett. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the parrot. th. It's th. th. th. It's th. th. th. It's the parrot. th. th. the. the the p. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that. that. that. that. that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. Jesse was like who is that and I was like it's fucking Brett Lee are you kidding me? My wife was on... Wait wheat picks ads you

freak? Idiot? My wife made some kind of comment about this on Twitter and somebody replied to her saying oh my my son like really loves the mask singer and he makes the whole family watch it together and I asked has he recognized a single one of the celebrities and she was like absolutely not has no idea who any of them are. So this one is this one is hosted by Lindsay Lohan who is continuing her like a decade-long streak of slumming it. Is she still on this season? I haven't seen her. I thought she's only on the last one. So yeah she was unable to come to Melbourne to to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to the to to to to to the the the their the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I. I their. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the task. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I thought she was only on the last one. Uh, so yeah, she was unable to come to Melbourne to take part in the program. And she had been replaced by a new panelist, comedian, Ozila Carlson.

That's right, the, Zilla Carlson. What a get. I guess it's probably Ursula, isn't it? Oh, Ursula? Yeah. I literally texted my mom the other day being like, who's that? Who's this lady? She's on everything now. But other than that, we are hosted by Danny Monogue, Dave Hughes and radio presenter Jackie O. Australian fucking, it's just like... It's like I never left. It's the most cannibalistic, incestuous media market in the world. We have 10 people and they are on... Like, Husey, I assume, is hopping between like some fucking... Like, he's doing four hours of radio a day.

He's doing four hours of this show. He's on one of the like, Amazon original comedian challenge shows, I assume. Then he's on some fucking late night panel and then he's a pop-in guest for the project. Are they just not paying Hughes enough? I feel like he should be making enough money from just one of these. I think he is in it for the love of being on the worst shit in the world. Dave Hughes, this currently, Dave Hughes co-hosts Husey and Ed Ed with Ed Cavalie on the hit network. Still can't believe Ed Cavalie has become like he was always a, I will only ever know him as a guy who was, you know in

thank God you hear how they had like the backup people, the people that would be the other characters in the scene that were he he was one of those people, and that is all I will ever know him as. It's just, it's very strange. Oh yeah, I guess I kind of recognize them. I don't know, also, we have to, as always, talking about Dave Hughes, especially as we've talked a lot of shit about him. He was very kind in helping us raise a lot of money for charity. Very kind in helping us raise a lot of money for charity. So God bless you, Hoosie.

If that's what makes you happy, good on you. Happy birthday, good on you. I don't think there's any danger of him hearing any of this. Maybe he became a fan. Maybe he, you know, after the whole thing he, uh, he just decided to get really, really into the podcast. If you are Dave Hughes specifically, email lusset, that, that, that, really into the podcast, too nice. If you are Dave Hughes specifically, email us, whatever the email was. I will pay you $20, Dave Hughes, if you contact us, I'll send you $20.

I'm just trying to figure out how many days a week he does his radio show. But, um, so he hosts a radio show, he also hosts H-E, We Have a Problem on Network 10. Mm-hmm. Great man. And he is a guesser on the masked singer Australia. Is that what they call the panelist's guesses? Yeah, they just sit there and guess who everyone is. It's a absolutely wild concept for a TV show. I mean, it's Australia. You could run through three people. You go, it's Magnus Bansky. No. Okay, it's great or clean. No, all right. It's one of the people from Degeneration. Correct.

Godda. So the news that we're all getting to, right? The what? There is some news, right? No, I just wanted to talk about the mask. The mask singer. Australia has been suspended in Melbourne after a crew member tested ca tested ca tested tested. te. te. te. te. te. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the suspended in Melbourne after a crew member tested positive for COVID-19 forcing the cast and crew into isolation. Instead of masked singer it should have been masked crew members. Oh that's pretty good damn. Is it slow see? I appreciate that. Not getting the same response for everyone else but... Wow. Everybody really, really left me out to dry on nematode apple. Are you still angry about that?

It's gnawing a hole in my stomach. The Channel 10 TV show which pits masked celebrities against each other in a singing competition film in Melbourne. Yeah, I feel like that's not really pitting them against each other. If there's no, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th like, th like, like, thi, like, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, thi, thi, thi,. Yeah, I feel like that's not really pitting them against each other. If there's no like tridents involved. Yeah, like I want to see them, in one hand is a spear, in one hand is a net. They're wearing a sort of leather diaper, and they're fighting each other in a sandy pit. Now, that's TV. Oh my God. Sorry, no, I'm looking at...

What's going on over here? I'm looking at the controversy segment of the Wikipedia. Oh, fuck off. In October 2019, American band Hallecyen claimed that the program had stolen note for note beat for beat their arrangement of bad guy by Billy Ilish. Wow! Which the lion sang during the third episode and the lion of course was Kate Sabrano fucking so ten singers we have. She's already she's a celebrity for being a singer that doesn't... Yeah they have they have real singers on there. That's not like... What the fuck? I, this also fucking happened while I was working at pedestrian and had to look into this.

And like, the band that claimed that they ripped them off, which, I mean, if you listen to both of them, you're like, oh, okay, that's actually kind of fair. They are, I, it is the strangest, weirdest, we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we weird, it is th, it is th, it is th, it is th, it is th, it is the strangest, weirdest phenomenon of a band I've ever seen where they exist only as a band for YouTube? Like they are trying to have a viral sort of YouTube channel thing. Oh this is, you know, like pentatonics or... I don't know what that is. Oh, yeah. Like a a cappella group or, um, or... Is it like Walk Off the Earth or something? I don't know, that it's like. But, like, like, like, like, like, like, like they they they they they they they they they they they they, like, like, like, like, like, like, like they they, like they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they, they, they they, they, they, they they, they they, they, they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they exist, they exist, they're they're they're they're, um, or... Is it like Walk Off the Earth or something like that? I don't know what that is, like, uh, but like that, it's all covers. Like, it's all, yeah. They arrange popular covers in this really bad, like, radio rock way,

but with like, auto tune and fucking all that. And it is just the worst combination. Oh, it's so fucking bad. I just watched a bunch of their videos because I hate myself and I was enjoying wasting time more than working. And it is just the most sickeningly like, they are competent musicians in that they can play their instruments quite well, but it is just like soulless. Just absolutely fucking nothing. Like, it is just so hollow-eyed and artistically fucking bankrupt that I, it disgusted me. And I'd forgotten about it until right now, and now I'm mad again. Cool. Thanks. I'm mad because I can't remember the name of a

YouTube band that I was thinking of. It's gonna... Important stuff. It's gonna bother me now. No, it was just funny because it was exactly the kind of band we're talking about, where it was a guy and a girl and they just did, they did that, remember for ages there where it was popular to go like, here's a rap song, but we're doing it like it's acoustic or swing. I hate that so much. Yeah, it was was was that that that kind was that kind was th th that kind was th th. th th th th th that kind th. thi thi thi thi that kind thi thi thi that. Very bad.

Yeah, it was that kind of thing. And then the girl like disappeared for a while and she came back doing like a solo thing, except that she had gone the full kind of, hey, suddenly I'm using bronzer that is like eight shades darker on my whole body and putting in big hoop earrings and using a ton of black backup dancers. And like it was very, very, very, very, very. And, and th. And, and th. And, and thi. And, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like ton of black backup dancers and like it was very very bad. I can't remember the name of it. So of course we're all asking ourselves who were the winners? Who were

the winners of the Australian season of the masked singer and of course third place singing as monster was Georgie Goughlin colon Georgina Colin Colin Georgina Colin Colin colon what? Sure who else we got? Uh. Runner up was Rob Milsey Mills as wolf. That's Milsey. Once again, as you said, Theo, just a singer.

Not really a celebrity. And that, of course, was the guy who came second place in the first? Not even second. Melzy came like fourth or fifth. Wasn't he famous for something else? He had sex with Paris Hilton. That's the thing. Good on him.

I was gonna say our other celebrities are just Australian Idol runner runners up. God damn. It's just even reading the Wikipedia entries of Australian celebrities is so sad. So who won? The winner of course was the Cody Simpson Simpson. That's right. I know that's a teenager of that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's the the the the th. I that's that's that's that's that's th. I that's th. I'm that's that's that's th. I that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I the the. I the the. I the the the the the th. I the the. I the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. the. the. the. the. the. I the. I'm the. I'm th. I was the Cody Simpson. That's right. Yep. I know that's a teenager of some kind, right? He's not the guy that had the party?

No. That is not Corey. Corey. Worthington? And that really just speaks to the depth of Australian celebrities that I could just say that sentence and have three people just nod and go, oh no, Mr. Sunglosses. Yeah, I remember I remember the teenager who threw a big party and became a celebrity. Americans know about Corey Worthington and I think that's great.

Cody Simpson Simpson is an Australian singer, songwriter, dancer, actor and model. He was born in 1997, which doesn't seem possible. No, that would make him... It's not a man. Eight years old? He has released three solo studio albums. 2012's Paradise, 2013 Surfers Paradise. Oh, no. This country sucks, man. Really going back to the same well. Sorry country fucking sucks me. Really going back to the same world. Sorry to Cody Simpson. He's probably very talented.

Oh, and of course he's someone who became famous from doing soft-ass covers of songs in his bedroom and putting them on YouTube. So he's our Justin, Justin Bieber, I guess. Oh, I'm looking up Cody since he wasn't he dating Miley Cyrus did I just make it? He was dating Miley Cyrus. Sorry on him also. It's a very Australian looking man I'll say that. So it turns out everybody who's been on the show was gonna die I guess. You know yep that sucks RIP to Husey. Yep production of the mass singer has been immediately suspended as a result of a crew member receiving a positive test for COVID-19, a statement from the show's Twitter account set.

The entire production team, including the masked singers, the host and panelists are now in self-isolation. They are all being monitored closely and are in constant contact with medical authorities. So what are you doing now? Oh no much, just watching TV. No, you hang up. I can't hang up. Just a webcam point let you while you sleep. Everybody keep it down.

We do hope that they don't die of COVID. That sucks. Yeah, we wouldn't wish that on anyone except the few people that we've wished it on in the course of the pandemic. Oh dear, it had already been going without a studio audience for its second season. But under Victoria's Stage 4 restrictions, most news and media outlets are deemed essential services. If we don't have the mast singer. I gotta have my mast singer or else I'll get scurvy. There's a bit in fucking Danger 5 where the like the world's monuments are disappearing, they're like, well, if all the monuments go, there will be no reason for people to not kill themselves, which is I assume how most Australians feel about all these shitty TV shows. We must have the mask singer.

Or else why would I be here on this earth? If I can't watch a local family watch the mask singer on gogglebox, I will top myself. No, no I don't even want to get into that. I'm gonna choose to keep gogglebox is a thing that I don't know anything about and don't understand and that's fine actually. It's fine it's like watching a TV show with your friends or listening to a podcast. Oh no. Fuck. Yikes. Gogglebox. It's good. It's like like like like it be like like like it be like like like like like like like like it be like like like like like like be like be like be like be like like that be like that be like that be like that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th be like th be like th be like th be like the th th the th be like th th th the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. tho. to to to to be to to to to to to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho. tho. tho podcast. Oh no. Fuck. Yikes. It's good now. If you were listening to a podcast of someone listening to a podcast and be like, ha ha ha ha, oh I liked that part.

Which is what I assume all of you, the listener are doing right now while you're listening, in your car. Ha ha ha ha. So I'm having somebody listening to you guys in the car. Punch it up a little, make it funny, you know? Yeah. God Almighty, what a media landscape. Unbelievable to think that Australia's thriving media landscape has been cut down like this. Please fund the arts instead of the master's singer. It is the arts.

Oh God. Hopefully, one of the people that worked as a crew member on the show in 15 years will be able to be able to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to make to be to make to make to be to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to be to be to be to be to be to the the to be to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. the the the the th arts. Hopefully one of the people that worked as a crew member on this show in 15 years will be able to make an extremely bleak movie about suburban Australians doing hard drugs with the skills they learned while doing this working as a cameraman. The other kind of thing we have. The other kind of Australian are. Screen Australia gives you 50,000 dollars. Yeah, they're coming to Australian are. Those two things. Screen Australia gives you $50,000. You have to put Kate Blanchett in the movie. It's got to be gritty. It's got to be so gritty.

And the ending just has to make you feel like absolute fucking shit. Or it's a movie called Regular Toleaddeenne. the toilet industry. His nickname is Dunny. Although I was what, you familiar with the red-letter media guys? Yes, I am. Everyone. At times good. I was watching their review of a aforementioned Australian film, Relic. And Mike mentioned a thing which I guess I hadn't really considered from the Australian perspective because they review movies for a living so they got to go and watch all kinds of shit. And he was saying, you know, he looked at the reviews for it and the reviews were either glowing and very very five star or there were people saying terrible, absolutely dreadful. And he was like good

Because it means that they're actually trying to do something, you know if if half the people like it and the other half fucking hate it and it's divisive at least it means that there's something interesting happening and then he started watching it and it came up with the screen Australia Presents thing and And he went, yes, that's good. Because unlike all of the movies that you see that are like the umteenth entry in a franchise or something where they've said, hey, we're gonna reboot this thing, or you know, we have received money from someone to make an angry birds movie or whatever it might be, it was like, something where you had to get a grant from the Australian

government or the New Zealand government or the British government or whatever to make a movie required. Required somebody to actually put effort into getting it made. They had to say, this is a passion project for me. This is a thing that I really care about happening and I have to put a bunch of stuff together and make a case for it and actually win funding for a thing. And that usually means that the people involved are actually passionate about what they're doing. And I went, yeah, hmm, I think that's fair. That is fair.

So Relic, check it out, and then write to me personally and let me know what you thought of the ending. Now, I know we're running a little bit over time here. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's thi's thi, thi, thi of the ending. Hmm. Now, I know we're running a little bit over time here. Do you think we maybe have time for one more story? Hammer it out. Go straight into it. Country Roa-S. Take me home to the place. I belong. I belong. Ultanter This Nature Corner.

Rubbercraft sniffed my dick. It's Nature Corner with the theme sung by our beautiful subscribers and patrons. We love to hear it, especially the part about having a robber crap snick, our dicks. It's a lot of people, that I would say if we had to have a frequently asked question section on our website, that would be the most frequently asked question. To me it's perfectly intelligible. I heard it the first time and I thought, beautiful. But yeah, a lot of people in the discord the discord the discord the discord the discord the discord the discord the discord the discord the discord the discord the discord the discord the discord the discord the discord the discord the discord their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, th. I, th. I, th. I's th. I'm th. I's th. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I heard it the first time and I thought, Beautiful. But yeah, a lot of people in the discord, new people joined up and they say, Somebody tell me. What is that last line?

Robber crab snipped my dick. We're all in there. Of course, if you are not familiar with the dreaded robber crab, please Google it. Hopefully it will be standing near something for scale. Oh, it's always the one picture. You Google coconut crab or rubber crab, and it is the one that is on an American metal-style trash can. And it looks fucking horrifying. It's awful. It's an awful beast. Horrible creature.

God's biggest mistake. That I respect and love and thi I should maybe worship it as some form of God. And of course they're called Robber Crabs because they steal things and run away with them. That's pretty funny. Run! It seems like a very evocative word to use for what a crab does. Whoop away! So this is from the ABC, a very sad story. Oh, you can't say very sad story and then laugh.

Don't do that, Andrew. Fish launches into boat off Darwin, killing 56-year-old man, Northern Territory Police say. It is sad, but it's also weird. Very weird. I hope if I died this way, someone would find a little bit of joy in her. Yeah. Thank you, Lucy. Cheers. A 56 year old man has died in Darwin after being struck in his chest by a fish while on a fishing boat.

Now like when I think of a fish hitting someone and doing them a harm, I always think of the TV show I should be dead is that what it's called I am not familiar with that idea what you're talking about. I think I should be dead it was called or like you know I shouldn't have survived something like that. Right. The reality TV show where where people tell their weird stories of thing happening to them. And I always remember this lady who was on like a charter fishing boat

and they pulled in like a swordfish or a marlin and it came like jumping over the side of the bone, hit her in the chest with its long sword nose, and she had implants, and it like punctured one of her implants, pushed it between her ribs and into her chest caver. Jesus, oh my God. But she was fine. Okay, that's good to know. After a while, maybe. This is the thing, it always, it kind of ruins the stories when they're they're telling you about them. Because you know they're alive. Yeah, and it's on a show called, I should be dead, but I am not dead despite the story

I'm about to tell you. But this is not what happened in this case. This man had been fishing with family and friends on Darwin Harbor on Friday when he was quote Struck in his chest by a large fish which launched itself into the boat Sounds kind of predatory of the fish. It's a big fish. It's a big fish are terrifying. We took a scombroid mackerel or normal. Oh for fuck. the tip, the thi thick. the thick. Oh, the thin. thin. thin. thick thin. thick thick thick thick thick that. that. the that. that. the fish. the fish. the fish. the fish. the fish. the fish. the fish fish fish the fish the fish the fish the fish thoomorrow. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theea. thea. thi. thi. thea. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. fucking fish. Big fish are terrifying. We took a scombroid mackerel or normal. Oh, for fuck, sake, I shut the fuck up. Quotes, from reports, it was like an 18-kilo mackerel. So it would have been a big fish that speared right into this guy and caused major blood-force

trauma. Oh my goodness. Crane said, not to be confused with James Rain. Interesting, so he says, speared right into this guy, which to me, is a, so it's a forward trajectory of the fish, right, head first. When I picture someone being hit by a fish, I am picturing it being sort of orthogonal to the man. Yeah, you're being slapped by the side of the fish, yeah. Interesting. Instead, it has launched itself directly on him. He says, it sounded pretty horrible to have happened, but it does happen.

It sounds like it. He's making it sound like it happens more than it does. Yeah, I don't think this happens that up. It does happen, but not often, but a lot. This is why. And big fish, especially, unnatural, terrifying creatures. This is why we should fear the ocean. Exactly why. And big fish especially. Unnatural, terrifying creatures.

Full of monsters. They are monsters. Andrew, have you been to the Cambro Aquarium? Yes. There's some fucking big fish in there. There's some big-ass groupers. They've got like a gigantic John Dory that just swims up to the glass and stares at you.

It's just enormous. Just dead-eyed too. Yep, they got some stuff your lads toucest. They got the little monkeys that look like Elvis. It's pretty good. It's good. Except for zoos being a terrible prison. Except for the fish, you should keep them away from us in general. Lock up as many marine animals as you can. Yes, absolutely.

Police say, the man died at Cullin Bay despite paramedics who admits in CPR. Quote, this appears to be a freak incident which is hugely distressing for the people in the boat and other family and friends of the man. Not wrong. Yes. Pretty rough. Yikes. So, look, this next line tells a bit of a story. Mr. Crane, who said he came across a white sheet at the Cullen Bay jetty, protecting the man's body, said the incident was, quote, horrible. So if we rewind back up to the story, James Crane is the guy who said, I hear it was a big fish.

Who's James Crane? Is he just some guy? It is just some guy. He's everywhere. I feel like there's more to this story. This is fishy. God damn it. He um... Yeah, this really is just they went down to the marina or whatever,

found a guy who was there and saw the body under the sheet and then asked him what he thought about it? What did you, what did you hear that it is? You know? That's very strange. And then later on we elaborate by saying he was just kind of walking past and saw a body with a sheet over it. I'm assuming he then asked a series of questions and now the news is asking him a series of questions. Mr. Crane, a completely uninvolved bystander who happened upon a body on a jetty continued it was hard everyone needs to be together right now and to lose someone

over a freak accident like that it was crazy he said the man who wasn't there and doesn't know the people involved he's right though I agree with him it's horrible that would happen on a fishing boat but of the places to happen of all the places where you're going to get hit with an 18 kilogram mackerel. Wouldn't happen to you at the bank. It's true. It's because I do all my banking online.

Wouldn't happen while you're paying your rent, because you leave the jetty and you actually go quite far away from the underground car park. Go to an underground car park, one of the least likely places to be set upon by a large fish. He concludes by saying, it's supposed to be a fun day out there with your mates. And that's true. It is true. Just for record, I'm not buying this story one bit. There's something else.

This is moiter. Mr. Crane said he believed the man was on a personal boat and not a fishing charter. This dude doesn't fucking know no idea. He doesn't know shit. Why are we talking to Mr. Crane? Well, as a journalist, I think you'll find my job is not to say, well, this person said, uh, it was raining. Oh, my job is to look out the window and say, hey, you're on the street there. Is it raining? I think it's raining. Cool.

And your name? It's going in the paper. My goodness. In 2018, a woman's neck was sliced open when a mackerel launched itself from the water, 45 kilometers from Darwin. What is going on with our macrals? We got a real mackerel problem. Uh, the 10 kilogram meter long mackerel reportedly jumped more than a meter and a half in the air before leaving the woman lying on a fishing boat with blood streaming from her

neck. Jesus Christ. They're fighting back. Arm yourselves, fishermen of the world. Hmm. Return of the Maccarol. You need to get all, all tooled up and then when one comes flying at you.. the the the th th the the th th th the th the the th th th th the world. Return of the Macarole. You need to get all tooled up and then when one comes flying at you you just you just open fire leaving a holy mackerel. Do you want to read that last sentence there before we start? Yeah, that can't be it. What else we got? The woman survived. Thank you so much. I just really wanted to get that out there.

Was left with a deep wound to her neck. Imagine like for the rest of your life you got this big, fucking crazy scar on the side of your fish. It looks like someone tried to kill you with a machete. Like what happened? Well, uh, a mackerel jumped out of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to kill you with a machete. Like what happened? Well, a mackerel jumped out of the water. I was mining my own fucking business and a fish swiney tottered me. See, I think we might have to disagree though because she was out there looking to kill some fish.

Oh, true. That's right. Yeah, hang on. She was on a fishing boat. Fish can defend themselves, they're right to do so. If you are, it's a castle doctrine for fish. Well you notice that this is only happening to people who are out there actively fishing from a fishing boat. So you're not a personal charter as Mr. Crane understand. Are you are you implying that the mackerel can see the sin within a man judge him? Absolutely. And execute accordingly? Yeah I think that a mackerel can recognize the type of activity that is taking place aboard a boat that has answered his domain. Furthermore, you're suggesting that this 57 year old man who died about a week and a half ago, this was just the execution of natural justice and it was right to happen? I'm saying that the fish castle doctrined him. He stood his ground. It was one of the little little castle that they put. the activity the type the type the type th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. Yeah thi. Yeah thi. Yeah thi. Yeah thi. I thi. Yeah th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi.ed him. He stood his ground. It was one of the

little, it was one of the little castles that I put in the fish bowl. He did, the fish stood his ground, defended himself in his home, which is very large. The entire sea. Yeah. Hmm. Minus freshwater lakes. It leaves itself a bit open to exploitation because if a fish does have a vendetta, it can travel to the area that that person lives in. And then I guess just wait for them to go fishing at some point. And that's fish law. And that's fish law. Andrew quotes fish law. Fish law. Oh god damn it. It's your new name. I'm

calling you fish from now on. This is my bro fish. Hey how did you get that name? Oh boy. Let me tell you a little this something about the law of the sea. Oh boy. Well, I think that's it for us folks. Thank God. Yes. Stay out of the water. Lucy can return to sitting on the edge of a hotel bed staring at the wall. That's right. I can't wait. Do you reckon you're going to be up to about three or four selfies post to Instagram a day by the next couple of days? Because I feel like that's all you've got to do with your time at this point.

Pretty much. I'm going to start making Tick Tox or something. Oh, please don't and also do. Or you could start doing Reels on Instagram. No one's doing Reels. It is pretty cool when a company just goes, that's ours now. Yeah, we'll just do the same thing. But I guess they don't have all the same type of psychotic teens on there. That's right. That's what the TickTock's all about. Weird real estate agents, they're late 20s. Yeah. That's what's up. And Lucy. Yeah. That's it folks thanks for listening and stay away from the ocean. Keep out of it. Keep out our business. Stay dry. It's not your business

out of the ocean. When we dragged our disgusting little abdomens through the dirt and gasped for air. And we stopped laying eggs we started just doing the bit inside. Hey what if we just plopped it right out? Puh. There it is. No this shell business to fuck around with. It's just a middleman. We said, no more with the ocean.

That's right. We got out of there for a reason. Because it's gross. I like staying dry. And I will continue to do so. I encourage you to do the same. See you next week. Bye. Bye. you know the