Boonta Vista - EPISODE 166: SCP-361003

Episode Date: September 12, 2020

Andrew, Theo, and Ben talk about an important update in the realm of Moon Law, the stress levels in baboon hierarchies, cutting your hand off to spite your insurance company, and mysterious seals. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Buntavista episode 166. I'm Theo and I'm here at the scene of my child's gender reveal. I have to say, the air is electric. Here with me is Ben. And he's looking at the calculations he performed earlier and come to the realization that due to a runaway reaction involving lithium 7, this gender reveal will be 2.5 times more powerful than the expected 6 megatons. How are you, still feeling good? Yep. You know, this is the sort of thing where you want to have a little bit of pizzazz. Yeah. You know you've made a decision in your mind. Gender reveals are not an exact science.

They're not, and that's the thing. You've got to go with your heart. If your heart says add more lithium-7 to the gender reveal, then you've got to go with what your heart says, I think. You know, sometimes you accidentally start, you know, a hundred thousand hectare wildfire, and sometimes you create a new fault line. And that's kind of, it's just part of the joy of it, I think. That is the joy of it, yeah.

And we are peering down our binoculars. And who do we see downrange towards the gender reveal, towards the gender reveal, standing on the deck and a banded-and- and whistling to himself, moments before the gender reveal detonates, it's Andrew. Do, da, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. Do, love mopping this floor. I wonder what Theo wanted me to stand out here and mop this boat for anyway. Oh, this is not part of it. You should have been miles away.

Sirens are going, you've got your headphones, noise cancelling. Have you considered climbing into a fridge? There's only a bar fridge aboard this boat. I mean, I reckon you could get into a bar fridge. If you take all the shelves out, generally the freezer portion of a bar fridge is just a little plastic partition. You could kick that out. I think as we learned from the Halifax episode, you can also just go into the brig, I think. That's true.

I would have loved more detail on what happened to that man. Yeah, and if you want to know what we're talking about, listen to bonus episode, the Theo Files 2 Chekhov's Gun Cotton slash Prepare to receive your Prime mate. Yes. And that's the shortest title we could think of. Yeah, no, we looked at every word, considered each and found out to be essential. And we could kill none of them. And it would be easy to refer to this episode if we had some sort of numbering system for the bonus episodes. But alas, the technology just doesn't exist yet.

Don't have it. No. Or at least it did where we started this podcast. I spent a solid 5 to 10 minutes contemplating fixing that. Oh, then we thought about it. It makes no sense. You just can't do it. I mean, you know what the big problem is, right? Even if you were to say, yeah, and even if I were to go back and like manually rename

hundreds of episodes, there's the small problem of the audio at the start of each episode in which we say the number. That's a problem. Say we rename the bonus episodes to the number of the main episode it was released in the same week as and just a B after it. Yeah, I guess. But I don't want to go through and change 160-something Patreon posts. I don't want to do it. And that's your right. Thank you so much. 160 something Patreon posts. I don't want to do it. And that's your right. Thank you so much.

Hey, speaking of massive fuck-ups, I've just... You got three of them. Um, I do want to say someone got in touch, um, because we're leading into some moon news. Oh, for fuck sake, all right, here we go. Someone, someone got in touch after episode 164, Jim's moon sailing, which is named after a mispronunciation when we all forgot how to say the word selling. And it makes sense. So we've got that going for us. Adding to the end of the word that you use. And that's it, it's that simple. Yep. And someone on t toy the episode, can I just clarify? So this was an episode with a great big fuck up on it? And I wasn't on the episode?

I would contest that this is a great big fuck up but I'm going to, explain what it was. But I wasn't there. No, that's correct. Okay, go ahead. And I know that, okay. All right, so on Twitter someone got in toucest and said, so actually we were talking about selling the moon and this man was magnanimous enough to not sell your piece of moon that is on the dark side of the moon. And someone got in toucest with us and said, you massive shitheads, that the moon spins.

Sometimes that part is dark. It's not just the same part that is bright the whole time. I think everyone understands the dark side of the moon colloquially refers to the obverse side of the moon that is tidily locked with us. We always see the one face, the side on the other side, the far side of the moon as you will. That's what people are referring to. You talk about the handsome moon man? The back of the moon man's head is essentially what we're talking about here. The moon man's bald spot.

That guy from the fucking Lumier voyage to the moon thing who gets the awful looking man who gets the rocket in his eye and that would hurt that would really hurt it's where his Yamaka is I believe it for absolutely no reason the moon man is circumcised oh boy oh so sorry that we just got that wrong because we're very stupid well no I refuse to say that this was an error I think that thi thi thi thi thi and I that that that that that that that that and that and that and that that and that and that that and that and that that and that and that that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would the the the that would would the the the the the the the the the the the that would would would would would the the the the the the the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the that that that that the that that thi that that that that that that the that that the that the that that that that, we just got that wrong because we're very stupid. Well no, I refuse to say that this was an error. We all collectively. God damn it. Two bends and a Theo hang together to make a mistake.

I don't know about any of that. But the moon. As we said, we were talking about it at that very long episode, title, no, sorry, we were talking about a different episode, in episode 164, in an episode with Ben Jenkins, and we were talking about it because in the context of that awful man, oh God, what was that awful man's name? The Moon man. Mr. Moon, who sort of of the very dubious legal

circumstances under which he sells the moon to people which is not as insane as it sounds. No it is it is exactly as insane as it sounds he wrote to the UN and said can I sell the moon and he took their silence as an implicit yes. There's like 20 years of legal debate as to whether or not that was correct. So it is insane, but it's a different kind of insanity to what you would assume it would be. But we touched on a point that the UN has never ratified the Moon Treaty which was meant to...

It was kind of great though. No, Andrew's just coming off to speed with this. We spent one whole hour. We're all moon law experts now. So there was a kind of loophole in the possible loophole in the Outer Space Treaty of 1960 or 79, one of those two, that said sovereign nations can't exploit the Moon essentially, but it left a loophole as to whether private citizens or private companies can. They floated the idea of the Moon treaty, which only like 18 countries I think so far have ratified because none of the idea of the Moon Treaty, which only like 18 countries I think so far

have ratified because none of the big space-faring nations absolutely like they do want to exploit the moon essentially. They don't want that loophole to be closed up. And it turns out this is actually relatively timely. So this is this is a news article from writer Stephen Clark on the website spaceflight now or spaceflight now I'm not really sure if he's demanding spaceflight immediately or if he's talking about current spaceflight so like an abbreviated chant what do we want space flight more spaceflight etc etc that's e'cler the the to the that the to the same to the same way to the to the the to like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like a to like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like. to to to the. to. to. to. to. the. the. to. the. the. to. the. the. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Space float. More space fight, etc. etc. Yes. NASA challenges companies to mine lunar soil and it goes as thus

NASA announced Thursday it plans to purchase lunar soil from a commercial company and if the agency's top official said is intended to set a precedent for the transfer of ownership of extraterrestrial material and stimulate a market harvesting resources from bodies throughout the solar system. The initiative is starting small, but Nassar administrator Jim Bridenstein, said Thursday, which I believe is short for Bride of Frankenstein. Said Thursday, it could lead to companies being able to mine lunar soil for water ice, precious metals and other resources. We are interested in buying some lunar soil commercially, Brydenstein, said Thursday,

in a virtual presentation at the Secure World Foundation's Space Sustainability Summit. So we want a commercial company to go to the moon, extract some lunar soil, and then NASA can take possession of it. We are buying Regolith, but we're doing it really to demonstrate that it can be done, that the resources extracted from the moon are in fact owned by the people who invest their sweat and their treasure and their equity into that effort? So strange. Sending all my treasure to the moon.

My moon treasure. Please take all of my Dabloons, I must convert these into moon dust. I don't like that. So what we said on the last episode was essentially that his case will never be legally tested because it's absurd. And what we've got here is NASA essentially trying to do that legal test. So they're not going to mine the moon because they can't. What they're going to do is they're going to ask someone else to mine to mine the moon because they can't. But what they're going to do is they're going to ask someone else to mine the moon for them and then buy the mined moon materials off them. Which is kind of...

I feel like we've gone this long without mining the moon. Can't we just leave it for a little while longer? A little while longer. You just kind of go, well, look, I didn't, I haven't mined the moon yet. It's just, it seems bad. Like, it feels like we've not learned a lesson here, right? Like, we've kind of looked at what we've done to the planet. We've gone like, this is a finite amount of resources that we've gone all right well as far as I understand it the moon is 300 times as large as the earth so we could just take a little bit

we won't even notice I just want to throw it out there I don't even think there's anything good up there well I mean Bridenstein will make the same point later on in this but Andrew you're just saying we shouldn't mind the moon because it sucks. Yeah, it's like, if the moon was made out of gold maybe, you know. Let's say the moon was one big diamond. But what about precious helium three? As explored in the movie Moon about the moon. It's a pretty good movie.

And also helium three is real. I didn't think that part of the movie was real until the episode we did. The article continues, NASA's effort to purchase lunar soil from a commercial company has its roots in a law passed by Congress and signed by President Obama in 2015, Bridenstein said, the law permits private entities to extract, own and exploit water, minerals and other materials harvested from the moon. How does the US get to legislate that? It's kind of a real ask for forgiveness, not for permission thing. Like they don't own the moon is my understanding. It's not theirs. Maybe they also asked the UN and never got anything back saying no. It's a perfect strategy. No it's not your moon.

Although, hold on, which country's got a flag up there? That's true. The trick question answer is none of them, you know? Thank you, Stanley Kubrick. He did a great job on that one. Brightonstone said NASA's aim to foster a commercial market for mining the Moon complies with the Outer Space Treaty of 1967, an international agreement ratified by 110 countries including the United States, United Kingdom, China, and Russia. The Outer Space Treaty says, Outer Space, including the Moon and other celestial bodies,

is not subject to national appropriation by claim of sovereignty, by means, by means of use or occupation or by any other means. I feel like all of the countries getting to the, the, the, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, the, to, to, the, to, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, and, the, and, and, the, and, the, and, and, the, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, right, the, ina, ina, they.a, the they.a, international, ina, the the the, ina, the, the, is, like all of the countries getting together and having an out-of-space treaty is kind of like the Americans having like the world series and only inviting American teams, you know. Are you suggesting that aliens should have been in on this discussion? Yeah? Whatever weird slug beings live below the surface on Europa should a hundred percent have been there disgustily squelching out their awful language in the debates. Ideally, yes. Brightenstein said NASA believes in the Outer Space Treaty, but NASA wants to enable a normalization process

to show that extraterrestrial resources can be mined and owned. We believe that we cannot appropriate the Moon for national sovereignty, he said, and that is absolutely not what we intend to do. But... But, but... But... But... But... But... But... But... But... But we do believe that we can extract and utilize the resources from the moon, just like we can extract and utilize tuna from the ocean, all those fish love being extracted and utilized. We don't own the ocean, but if you apply your hard work and labor and your investment to extracting tuna from the ocean, you can own the tuna from the ocean and that becomes a very valuable resource for humanity. This is not a good analogy. This is a strange man, making strange points.

Sharpest legal minds in the world. This is... I love this comparison so much. If you put your treasure into extracting Tudor, you own that Tudor. Also, I like the fact that they looked at the outer space treaty and gone. You know what the problem with this is, is just nation states. That's the, that's the real problem. But what if we did made like Uber for destroying the uniface? Yeah, I mean like...

Huh. And again as far as like metaphors go, is people's big issue that they're sort of looking at earth and going, you know the problem with the oceans is that we haven't done enough commercial fishing. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone loves overfishing. You know how everything's going so well for the ocean right now? Oh God. Well, the thing is like fighting microplastics at like the deepest parts of the merry-on-the-trange.

And you don't, but you shouldn't be thinking out of that because once the tuner is out of the ocean, it's no longer part of that ecosystem and it has become a valuable resource. They've towed the tuner out out out tunununer out out out out out tuner out tuner out tuner out tuner out tuner out tuner out tuner out tuner out tuner tuner tuner tuner tuner tuner the tuner the've towed the tuna out of the environment. Yeah, they've just extracted tuna from the environment. The environment now exists in a completely separate state. The tuna, as far as the environment is concerned, has just vanished. Could have been abducted by aliens. And now somebody gets to profit off the rich resource known as tuna. This is awful. He makes it sound like th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th out like th out like thus like thus like thus like thus like thus thus thus thu thus thus thui, thui, thu thui, thui, thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thui. I thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuui. They're just just resource known as tuna.

He makes it sound like there's a lot of uses for it, you know. It's like if you're playing like civilization or whatever and you've got your gold, your food and then just a tuna stack. There's been a lot of historical research that shows that civilizations that had early access to tuner access to tuner actually did very, very well throughout history. I've acquired 2,000 units of tuna ore. Goes Stone Age, Bronze Age, Iron Age, Iron Age, Tuna Age. Is that the exact order of the ages you get in Age of Empires 1?

All right, look, let's not go into how much of my history is from Age of Empires 1. As far as I know, some point, 30 minutes into history, a large group of convertibles that launched rockets, spawned all at once, and destroyed all the cities on earth. I'm pretty sure I've still got all those cheats memorized. Pepperoni pizza for food, I'm pretty sure I can type that faster than any other word now. And so the question is, is it possible to have property rights for extracted resources without appropriating the moon or other celestial bodies for national sovereignty?

And I believe that the answer is overwhelmingly yes. Stop appropriating the moon. President Trump signed an executive order in April, outlining a policy that the United States does not view space as a, quote, global commons. The order reinforced the 2015 law signed by President Obama that giving US citizens and companies the right to mine and exploit resources harvested from other bodies in space. I think he might have put a typo in that sentence, but that's fine, he wrote the entire article. The policy runs counter typo in that sentence, but that's fine. He wrote the entire article.

The policy runs counter to the 1979 Moon Treaty, which states that the Moon and its natural resources are the, quote, common heritage of mankind. The Moon Treaty adds that an international framework is needed to govern the exploitation of lunar resources, resources? Resources? When such exploitation is about to become feasible. But... Not a big butt here.

But only 18 nations are parties to the 1979 Moon Treaty, which has not been signed or ratified by the United States, China or Russia. Brianstein said Friday that NASA wants to ensure that there is a strong legal framework grounded in international law that allows individuals and companies to pursue private interests on the Moon. What we're trying to do is make sure that there is a norm of behavior that says that the resources can be extracted and that we're doing it in a way that is in compliance with the Out arguments as to why what Mr. Moon was doing was illegal was that you essentially can't have a private citizen

operating on that scale without the endorsement or protection of a sovereign state. If it was ever going to be enforced, you would need to sort of have, you know, some sort of patron state above you governing this, and that the particular space lawyer that we were quoting from was saying that this is town to mount to an endorsement by that country, so which is, I don't know if this is something that they're going to run up against here because it's essentially them saying, you are doing this on behalf of NASA, which is a government agency of the US, which just really seems like the activity of a sovereign state.

Hmm. Hmm. Pretty fucked. But will we get like a new kind of mobile phone screen from the stuff we mind from the moon? We might. It might turn out that moon. Briefly. that's the case, blow up the moon. theyme.

And if that's the case, blow up the moon. the to blow up the moon podcast. Here's just another tip from the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. tho. tho. tho. Blo tho tho tho. tho tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th.................................................... It.. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. to. It's. to. to. to. It's. th. th. It's. B. the. th. th. th. the God damn moon. We know a pro-blowing up the moon podcast. Here's just another tip bit from this article. They are paying, so this is like a competition they're running, right? They're putting it open for tender or some shit, but they are going to pay whatever private company brings them there between 50 and 500 grams of lunar soil. They're going to pay them between $15,000 and $25,000. Now, consider the cost of going to the moon and back with moon rocks,

would probably cost like a little bit more than 25 grand, like even if you like didn't even bring in flight snacks. Imagine how much checked luggage coming back from the moon is going to cost. Oh it would be a nightmare. God for they weigh your carry-on suitcase full of moon rocks. Sir you're visibly struggling despite the lower gravity here can you bring that over to the scale? Have you got moon rocks in there? No, no, I don't know where I get those from. So this appears to be a quite deliberate move on their part because they're stressing that they're not paying for someone to go to the moon. They're not paying for the expense of the trip of getting to the moon or getting the infrastructure needed to do that. Theythey are only paying for the moon rocks.

Because if they paid for the trip itself, that is kind of tantamount to them doing the trip, which is completely the opposite of what they are trying to make happen. It just seems very dubious to me. I'm a, I don't know if this is controversial, but I'm a relatively pro-NASA person. I like NASA. This seems very sinister to me. I don't like it. You love their podcast. I do love their podcast. You gotta listen to it. Houston we have a podcast. Check it out. God damn it. That'd be a terrible name if anyone else had it I think. It is a terrible name even though they haven't. It's very bad. They went to their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. th. th. I'm that's thi. I'm tho. I'm th. I tho. I tho. I's tho. I's they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi. I's tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm thooooooooooooooooooo. I thoooooooo. I. I thoooo. I. I their. They went to the moon though. So, you know how like, none of us I think. They stress test like every single thing they do a million,

billion times and they couldn't spend more than 60 seconds thinking of a podcast name. I'm absolutely infuriated by it. Oh I reckon that went through a bunch of rounds of approvals. I mean, what could have been worse than that? I honestly. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. their th. their their th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm tho. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm thoom. I' thoom. I' tho. I' the. I' th. I' th. I' th. I' th. I' th. I' th. I' th. I's th. I's th. I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. I'm the. the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm thease thease thease thease thease thease thease thease thease thease thease the. I the. I mean what could have been worse than that? I honestly can't. Diarrhea on the moon. Yep. That was the podcast. That was the runner up. Went to the moon and I only took a single pair of underwear. I was looking at a spacesuit recently and like just examining the zip out crotch.

Okay. Just thinking, just picturing it, you know? Can I ask what what you were doing? Like what was the setting in which you were doing this? I was one of those like I think it might have been one of those like Twitter accounts that posts like a retro Soviet stuff. Oh yeah so they had like some of the space uniforms. And I was like, huh, I guess it would be hard to get out of the entire space suit just to get into what I assume is exactly the same kind of toilet they have on a plane. You get in, close the folding door behind you.

It's so much worse. It's a pipe with a funnel in the end. Oh no. And you just, you unzip your crotch and you just, you just connect that up. Essentially, it's got a little docking mechanism. The fucking Blue to Noob Walt starts playing as you like targeting towards your crotch hole. It's really beautiful actually, it's like a ballet. Oh boy. So that's what I was imagining as I looked at it, yes. If you have any additional details about how one goes to the toilet in space, lay them on me. I mean I think they're all, I can't vouch for the shiting. They're pissing into those magical blue crystals that just

absorbably appears though. I like cat litter. Yeah like cat litter. No, magical blue crystals. Yes, the stuff they might say is out of. You've never seen the magical blue crystal cat litter and that goes. I have never been in charge of the toilet activities of a cab before. Not even temporarily. I wish I was. I put you in charge of Nome for an hour or two tomorrow. I, no, that's probably fine. I don't think you want that. What's cool about Cuscos is that she, um, she takes a shit in her litter and then she like, she goes through the motions of covering it up. But what that actually involves is like just kicking all of the litter out of a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the th. th. th. thoomere. I thoomorrow. I'm thoomorrow. I'm thoome. thioleatheauiceh. I'm thoomorrow. I'm thoom. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'll, thoome. I, thoome. I, thoomh. I, thoes. th. I, th. I, th. th. I, th. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, tome. I, tome. I'm tomea. I'm tooea. It's, tooea. It's, tooeauuooooooeseseseses. It's, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. I'm tomorrow. I what that actually involves is like just kicking all of the litter out of the litter box? Like across the room and out into the hallway and stuff.

Nome will do that and then she'll like put one pour on like the wall and scratch the wall as if that's doing anything. Scratch the floor around it. Yep. to the litter tray, look back and go, job well done, and walk off. Today she just took a piss in the middle of the yard. That's pretty cool. Yeah, I wish she's just standing there and I'm like, hey, Nome, what's up?

And then she just jets one out. It's very strange behavior. Uh, Cuscus is other cool move. Anyone knows what's wrong with my cats. Cat. Please write in. Cuscus also, like, I assume this happens with gnome as well, but like, the cats clearly have a threshold on the litter, at which point it becomes too dirty. Oh, 100% yeah, and they're not into it anyhow. Yeah, and they'll kind of just piss on the floor as a kind of a... A little protest? Look at what you made me do.

Yeah. Or in Cuscus' case, she'll do some throbatics where she just perches on the very, very edge of the litter tray and then like pisses down the side of it and onto the wall behind it. Gets it all in the plastic of it and stuff, yeah. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. My one-year-old dog, he just like goes out to the backyard and just like pisses in a nice secluded spot and he does that every time. Yeah, I guess that's fine. It doesn't do anything weird. Just kind of just does it very competently and quietly doesn't make him my problem. Yeah, but I bet you have to take him for walks. That is true. I do have to spend time with the dog that I love very much.

It's a huge problem. It's actually terrifying walking walking walking Honestly, if he changes his mind about anything, you'll fucking pull my arm off. He pulled George like a full 50 feet down the street the other day, and I was just watching me like, oh, that could go bad, but laughing my ass off at the same time. I cannot believe your dog is weigh the exact same amount. It's fucking terrifying. Oh no, at least he's nice.

We're a house sitting at the moment with some friends that also have two big dogs that are like slightly smaller than Louis, but the three of them love to gee each other up, but they're also both very, well, all three of them are very needy dogs. So you'll just be like, around and they'll be like, great, I'll just keep a little part of me in contact with your legs. And all three of them are doing it. So you've got like a little swamp of dogs just sort of lurking around you anytime you want to move anywhere.

And they're all jostling you. It's a lot. . The bigh. goodness is that a cue is that a key for a nature corner do you think have we got a nature corner for this week I mean the moon the moon is technically in nature I mean I definitely told you to have a look at the notes in advance about four hours ago but yes there's there's a nature corner in the notes yeah but you also told me not to read part of the note so that the the notes so that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ttoooooooooooooooooo. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, should we do the part that I'm not meant to read first and then it can be out of the way? Yeah, let's do that one first. Sure.

I've, I've been informed that it's time for a classic update in the series we like to call scam watch. That's where we watch out for scams. You should record that and put that in the theme. That's where we watch out for scams. It's the special version of that sting just for Scamwatch. Oh. So, because I don't know about this story, Theo is going to have to lay it upon me. All righty. Now we've got this, so it's Scam Watch subtitle, you've got to hand it to have to lay it upon me. All righty. Now we've got this, so it's scam watch subtitle.

You've got to hand it to her. And again, I'd like to stress, these little notes are just for you guys. You don't need to read those out loud. They're all not good. I just read what I see. First he wants us to look at the notes and then all of them. I feel I'm being punished. From the BBC, woman who soared off own hand found guilty of fraud. And that sort of sounds like a colon or something, but it's just a sequence of words written down from the BBC.

A Slovenian woman has been found guilty of deliberately soaring off her hand as part of an insurance scam. A court in the capital Lublana found that Julia Adlysek, I'm going to go, 22 has taken out five insurance policies in the year before her injury. She claimed it happened as she cut branches. Now I'm going to just take a quick break there and just talk briefly about my dad who is the most injured man on earth. I've seen him injure himself about 400 times. Not probably good five years ago he was doing something quite similar

and using an electric chainsaw to cut down like shrubs along the side of his property and it kind of like went through and hit the fence behind it. Like chain link fence, ran up the fence. It kind of went up, came back 180 degrees and it landed in his arm. And it went just like neatly between like the tissue of his arm. And it was fine. He got like, I don't know, 40 stitches or something like that. But to get a message from my dad to be like, hey, I I, I, I, I, hey, hey, I, hey, I, hey, hey, I, hey, I, I, hey, hey, hey, hey, I, I, hey, hey, I, hey, I, hey, I, think, hey, think, the, think, think, thine, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the th. th. the, the, thank, thank, thank, thank, thi, thank, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, the or something like that. But to get a message from my dad to be like, hey, I just chainsawed my arm, to me that is the least surprising message to get from my dad.

When I remember he once was like frying chips and he bumped the pan, and the whole thing just flipped upside down onto both of his hands and so he had to like drive to the hospital hands decomposing as as he steers there and I was just along for the ride because I was a child anyway cool just as a side note they don't mention this in the story, I don't think, but the lead image on this story on the BBC website is of a circular saw? Okay. Which to me is not...

Well, there's your problem. Yeah, I wouldn't cut, I wouldn't cut branches with a circular saw personally. I'm not going to do that. What do you, like, do you manually hold the guard, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, saw personally. I'm not going to do that. Do you manually hold the guard back? I'm not really sure how you would even go about doing that. You can, but it's not a great idea. No, a charitable idea. I've done some very silly things. But I don't know. Fucking bed you have.

So she stood to gain more than 1 million pounds. Is that right? No, 1 million euro, which is 900,000 pounds, or 1.16 million US dollars. So we've given you everything except for the native Australian dollars. She now faces two years in prison while her boyfriend has been given a three year sentence, which unsure of that one. Yeah. So the court found that she and her boyfriend had intentionally left the severed hand behind rather than bringing with them to ensure the disability was permanent. However, authorities recovered it in time to sell it back on. Isn't that

fucking amazing? Would they disappointed then to sell it back on. Isn't that fucking amazing? Would they disappointed then to be like, oh no, my hand is... Oh, they got me. It's like try to retract the stump away from the doctors. They're like, just let me put it back on. Like, what's the situation here? They've gone to the hospital and it've been like, well, they've the haughed th..... some ambulance drivers have just like flawed it back to the house, found the head, brought it in a nice box.

It's mind boggling. Soan it back on. And then they've gone, look, we've got great news for you. We've managed to reattach your hand. It's just like visibly crestfallen yeah thanks it's finally good to deliver some objectively good news we put your hand back on they just like oh god no some a modern miracle of medicine just imagining them as they bring the hand in doing like dude I've got a thing going like I'd left it if I wanted the hand I would have bought the hand I would have brought I'd left it, if I wanted the hand, I would have bought

the hand with it. It was like looking at the paramedic just be like, come on, be cool man. God, slip you a 20 if you lose that somewhere. Oh man. Oh man. So, so like, I'm just trying to understand the mechanics here, so do we actually say what kind of saw or anything or you're just saying that it was a photo of a circular sort, just a suggestion. I'm assuming, I don't know, either the person that works at the BBC that, because this

is a, uh... No, sorry, I don't think this is a newswire. I think that, because this is a, uh, no, it's alright, I don't think this is a newswire, I think this is a BBC story. So maybe they had first-hand knowledge of what happened, or it is someone that doesn't really know how sawers work and they just googled saw and put a picture of a circular saw up, but the story itself does not furnish us with more details. Well, if it's a fancy enough store, it'll stop as soon as it starts chopping through. Oh man, I just do not trust those at all. And I know that they worked. I've watched a million videos of the working, but that just, that's where my like,

you know, you're fucking Arthur C. Arthur C. Clark, any piece of technology is where I'm like, nope, no, that can't exist. I think I would know if that could exist and that can't exist. I just, like you were saying, Theo, if you, if you have had a chainsaw accidentally get stuck in you, and that's something that is actually made for cutting branches off and that sort of thing. Like, clean off. I don't, like, clean off. I don't. I. th. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I, I th. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th, I th, like, like, like, like, I th. I th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I th, I th, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I to kind of stay pretty still to get your whole hand off, you know? Oh, like clean off. I don't like the thought of this process.

No. And the problem is. And the problem is. And the problem is, then they're like, wow, this fucking sucks. Oh, God. Get in the car and don't put the hand in. Now I know we both agreed to this beforehand, but now that the hand is off, really starting to regret it, really wish that that was still on my arm. Well, not enjoying it being off.

So let's just do a quick ranking of best ways to have your hand cut off. Okay. Number one, with a bullet, band saw, right? No. No. No. No. No. What? No? No. Definitely like, definitely like just a high-grade drop saw. No, no, band saw all the way because that's what they use for like cutting steers in half. That's what they use for like... Yeah, but they're slow. Have you seen someone put a bit of meat

through a band saw? You got You gotta like slowly feed it through. That's, you're watching your wrist come off. If you're doing with a drop saw, you're just going shomph. Bam, done. I don't know, I think a drop saw is gonna get pretty ugly. It's gonna quarterize it a little, I think as well. But we'll still be fast. Do we he put them through a lathe. Oh no, come on. A little Roman edge on the end of two of his fingers. Oh, oh, oh, very sorry for everybody listening to this. Welcome to the blood episode. Okay,

all right, so... So I have more details here, yeah. The woman's boyfriend had also made internet searches about artificial hands in the days beforehand. Can't he use that, kind of use that incognito mode on the duck-do progory. You gotta. So prosecutor said this was proof that the injury was intentional. Doesn't help. Does not help. Doesn't look good. At least his boyfriend's father was also given a one-year suspended sentence. Not sure about that one. How do you get

involved? Supplied the sore maybe? Who knows? Good. It's a classic father and son dehanding your girlfriend scheme. It's hard not to feel like they came up with the idea and it was also their idea that neither of their hands should be cut off. Yeah, no it is a classic scam going from town to town soaring your arm off. The great scam you can do twice. Zrump. Well, that's it. I do feel like a million dollars doesn't go as far as it used to in the world. No.

And so like a million bucks to just not have one of your hands forever. And yes, your boyfriend Googled like Buster Bluth Hook, but it's not the same, is it? Mm-hmm. So she denied throughout the trial and intentionally cutting off her own hand, had the fraudulent claim been successful, the couple would have received more than half a million euros as a lump sum. More like as a stump sum. Hmm? With the rest paid in monthly installments. Damn.

I'm just having a look. And a half a liter of domestic beer, 500 mil, so a little bit over a pint in Slovenia will cost you 2.5 euro. Ooh. So I think the cost of living is quite low in Slovenia, comparatively, so maybe it will go like a little bit far. You say a little bit far? A little bit far? Does that make sense? So who wants to hear my scam rating on this one?

You're patented scam rating. I should I should come up with some kind of like a little system for mapping the various factors of a scam because... Yeah. Like one of those five point access graph the various factors of a scam because in this one. Like one of those five point access graph things. Yeah, yeah, and then we can kind of gauge where it's going in different directions. Because in this case, we can say high ratings for the target of the scam, which is an insurance company, that's fine. That's exactly fine. If anybody's going to be the victim of having some money to to the to to the to to the to to the money to to the money to the money to the money to to the money to to to their their toxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxiaxxiaxxiaxxxiaxxxxxxia. I thiolioliolomea. I's, thiolitexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. thia, thi. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, thiolomeome. Yeah, thia. Yeah, thia. Yeah, that's, thia. Yeah, thia. Yeah, thia. Yeah, thia. Yeah, thia. Yeah, thia'. Yeah, th's right. Right, if anybody's going to be the victim of having some money taken off them. Yeah, that was our problem the other week.

We swayed too close to scamming pensioners, I think. Yeah, yeah. Like, the scamming pensioners and particularly ones who are scamming for like sadness reasons, not greed reasons, that kind of stuff. It's a bit of bummer. I think for me the sweet spot is scamming Dufus' with more money than they know what to do with. Yeah. Because if you're going to scam a company, that works as well.

If you're dumb enough to go in the newspaper and say, I gave $500,000 to somebody for a bunch of Nigerian prints prints gold and I never got it Then hey, it's fine Bonus points for moxy Bonus points for moxy points for execution Big big deduction in points for I guess like process you know for method. Yeah because I've had a trial run. I'd really Ideally, ideally what you want in a scam is for you to be leaving at the end with your big sack with a dollar sign painted on the side, blowing town. And and trying it with both hands. Yeah, when you go to lift the sack, you grunted. Your arm stays connected to your hand instead of just gripping and then pulling off.

Yeah. Hefting it over your shoulder with two hands before chuckling villainously, scampering off into the night, maybe hopping on a midnight train out of town, you know, that'll be ideal. And then you want the people who have been scammed to be like, hey, where'd that theo guy go? And then they all realize that like their expensive diamond diamond diamond diamond diamond diamond diamond diamond diamond diamond diamond their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their teol. teol. te. te. te. teole. te. te. te. te. te. te. their their their their their their their have been scammed to be like, hey, where'd that Theo guy go? And then they all realize that like their expensive diamond necklaces are actually just like gummy bears, something like that.

Something you haven't laid down a lot of money on, ideally, you know. That's great. Low investment for you, high reward, as opposed to say, giving up one of your hands. You leave it a lot of the table. You are. You are, you. You are, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you really really really, you are, you are, the, the, as opposed to say giving up one of your hands. You're leaving a lot of the table. You are, you really are. It does feel like even if you had have got the insurance company, you're kind of making more of a sacrifice than they are for this one. You're taking a bigger hit, I think. Ideally if you're going to flip off the insurance companies. You want it with two hands. You wanna do it with two hands.

Are you tired of paying nothing for the same old Superior Quality Free episodes of the Buntavista podcast? Do you want less politics and more content about diarrhea, or animals gone wild? You're tired of skipping through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg Film Shooter? Well, boy, do I the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to th, to to to th, to th, to to to to th, to to their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their to to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do thoom.................. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thuuuilf. thuileteen. thuiletea. thoeuuuu. their. their. the thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomeuuu. toeu. through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg film shooter. Well, boy, do I have the offer of a lifetime for you.

That's right, for just five US dollars a month, you too can be a premium VIP member of the Buntavista Patreon. That's right, just five US dollars for all of our bonus episodes. That's over 300 hours of content from the hosts you know and definitely toler. I'll even th th th th is th is th is thus thus th is thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus their thus thus thus thus thus thus thus. thii thi thi thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm too-a. I'll too. I'll too. I'll too. I too. I tho. I tho. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll the the the the the th. I'll the the the the thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'm thi. I'm ti. I'm ti. I'm to. to. to. toda. today. to. to. to. today. to. ti. to. totolerate. I'll even throw in access to our glamorous and exclusive Discord server, where bizarre arguments only happen once or twice a week at most. Head to Patreon. Sliant to the next five minutes and I won't know because that's not my job, but you'll be enjoying the sweet satisfaction of supporting us, and we will love you romantically for it. That's my promise to you.

So that's that's a that's a nightmare's a nightmare's a nightmare's a nightmare's a nightmare's a nightmare's a nightmare's a nightmare's a nightmare's a nightmare's a nightmare's a nightmare's a nightmare that's a nightmare that's a nightmare that's a nightmare that's a nightmare that's. So that's a nightmare, but should we move on to a miracle? Do you believe in miracles? I'm asking the audience, don't I hate to answer. Do we have a miracle music? I mean, you can probably just use the nature quarter. Yeah. Okay, well I clearly didn't know what we were leading into. It was a beautiful way though. It made sense because it applied to what we're about to talk about.

It was also just below what we were looking at. I mean I'm looking. Yeah, I mean you read the thing I wasn't supposed to read and then I haven't started reading them since then. I miss it this sort of professional. Rubbercrat, sniffed my d'i-dive. Go! Oh, fuck, my headphones fell off. This is crap. What fang is happening today? From the Associated Press and Ben has said here, sorry about this headline.

Again, those notes are for us. So strangely, strangely sorry about other people's headlines. Yeah, that's what I was going to say, Theo. He's apologizing for someone elsethis headline. Again, those notes are for us. So strangely, strangely sorry about other people's headlines. Yeah, that's what I was going to say, Theo. He's apologizing for someone else's headline. Not apologetic about his own. Okay. The headline from the AP. Just easier to tear down others than just to build up.

So true. Defend this headline. A new squeeze. Snake mystery after lone elderly Python lades clutch of eggs. Not really, oh okay, pythons because they squeeze things. They're constricting theyx here. Damn, that's good. Do they squeeze each other or just that it's a python? I think it's just that it's a python. Gotta do what you gotta do.

No wonder the AP is going under. Am I right? Wrong one. AAP is going under. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Experts at a US zoo are trying to figure out how a 62-year-old ball python laid seven eggs despite not being near a male python for at least two decades.

That's a while. It's a long time. Uh, three of the eggs from the snake in St. Louis Zoo remain in an incubator. Two were used for genetic sampling, and snakes in the other two eggs did not survive. Well, you should have just sampled the ones that didn't survive. Instead of wrecking the other ones. The eggs were laid on 23rd of July and should hatch in about a month. Mark Wanner, manager of herpetology at the zoo in Missouri

said it was unusual though not rare for ball pythons to reproduce asexually. Interesting. The snakes also sometimes store sperm for delayed fertilization. Just keeping a bit of snake come in the tank. Just popin' a bit of snake come into my pocket my snake pocket for a rainy day you know how they have pockets. You know the you know the snake cum tank it's always like it's always showing empty the lights on but there's always a little bit of snake cum left in the tank. They say you've got 70 kilometers worth of snake gum in there, but it's about 100.

Oh boy. The genetics sampling will show whether the eggs were reproduced sexually or asexually called facultative Parthenogenesis. I can't believe Parthenogenesis was the one that you fucked up out of those two words. I was trying to read it all at once, you know? The only other ball python in the zoo's herpetarium is a male age about 31. The snakes are not on public view. These snakes are not for your eyes.

For zoologist's eyes only. These are the zoo's private snakes. These are the zoo's secret snakes. It's only for their patron subscribers get to see the snakes. There's the snakes out the front of house that like the kids that come to the zoo can look at, but then if you want to see these snakes, you've got to like go down into a basement through a beaded curtain. There's like a creepy guy, I mean you want to see the good ones. This is my D. Going to a little booth, put your money in, then the little panel of glass magically becomes unfroasted. How do they do that? Anybody? Oh something to do with electric current? Theo? When you've been in the jack-off

booth did you discern how the glass worked? It's not something I'm familiar with. All right, no, I think it must be like LEDs or something, right? the glass, the kind of glass where you can frost and unfroasted by it. Yeah, they've got them on the 7-8s now, right? That's what I'm talking about, except, except the glass, except, except, except, except, except, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, th. It's, th. It's, th, th, th, th, the glass, the glass, the glass, the kind, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the glass, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's kind kind of, talking about, except, uh, except the glass, there's a nude lady behind the glass. It's a smaller panel and it's between you and a secret snake. The female snake, known only as 361-003.

What they label it like a cryptid? Just give it a name. Sarah. S-EEP or whatever. She laid a clutch of eggs in 1990 that might have been conceived with the male because at the time the snakes were put in buckets together while their cages were cleaned. Yeah. You remember when you were young and like it didn't really matter whether you like the person

or not just if you were put in a bucket with them you'd probably end up having sex of them. Sort of adolescent awniness. Just be just be careful that they might keep your cum for 20 years in a little cump pouch. Possibly 30 years. How long can that come stay alive for? I think that's a really long time. I don't think that's where the come is from. Oh you think the... I think it asexually... She's got some sort of discrete cum. Oh. Sorry, I don't think there was any cum at all, is what I'm trying to say. This is a cumless situation. Hmm.

Sand's cum. Yeah. The birth is also unusual because ball pythons usually stop laying eggs. long before they reach their 60s. How old is this fucking snake? 62. Right. She'd definitely be the oldest snake we know of in history to lay eggs, Wana said. Noting, she is the oldest snake ever documented at a zoo. A private owner gave the female to the zoo in 1961. Jesus Christ. Sick of this snake. Old ass, goddame snake.

I also feel like, if you've got a snake that is like predates the Vietnam War at your zoo, like put it in an enclosure. Be like have a little blark that says hey. This zoo. I'm an incredibly old snake. This snake is like from the fucking 50s. This is a post-war snake. Oh I can't take that snake off your hands. It's got asbestos. I assume it's like a snake that gets a heritage listing kind of thing. Sure, yeah, you can't substantially change a snake in any way. You cannot put a balcony on that snake.

You cannot put a balcony on that snake. You know? put a balcony on that snake. Just as an aside, so I chucked this story in the discord yesterday. While, as I was saying to you, earlier, Andrew, I was doing acid with my lovely wife, and you immediately replying, I fucked the snake, had me in just dying of laughter for I'm going to say about 10 minutes. It caught me out of wear. I could not think of anything else for a very long time. George was just looking over at me while I was having like fits.

It's being like, what is happening to you? And I was like, I couldn't even articulate it? Just showing the phone. Someone has to fill up the snake's cum tank. Someone has to. And I've just realized that SCP stands for snake come tanks. Except the P. Except for the p.

Big problem there. Hey, two out of three. We'll work that out and post. We won't. So we do have another Nature Corner. Yeah, do you reckon you could play, I believe you have another version of the Nature Corner thing there? That's true, I do. Here it is. I believe that is the screeching babooned that was Sicked my dick.

I believe that is the screeching baboon's version. I forgot how primal that was. Every time. Where did you get that from? It's a field recording. Was that from? It's a field recording. Was that you? Field recording of a monkey coming straight for your eyes. It's a horrifying noise. If you heard that in the jungle, my goodness.

Or if you heard it in like the short-itch zoo or whatever, when they're tearing the side mirrors off your car. You know what, yeah, most places that you could hear this is bad. Yeah, are bad. So, what do we got here, man? Oh, you want me to read this one? That's what, that's what that means. Sure. This is a press release from... I'm pretty hungover. Okay.

I did a bunch of drugs yesterday, I should a get out of jail free car but that's okay. Press release from Duke University in North Carolina Baboon matriarchs enjoy less stress. You know the type, loud, swaggering, pushy. The alpha male clearly runs the show. Guilty was charged. Oh. Oh. Female alphas are often less conspicuous than their puffed up male counterparts, but holding

the top spot still has its perks. Wearing the crown means privileged access, like never having to wait your turn. And now a study of female baboons points to another upside to being number one. Less stress. In a Duke University-led study, researchers describe how, after 18 years of collecting fecal samples from 237 female baboons in Ambocelli National Park in Kenya... Well, if you love your job, you say you never work a day in your life. 18 years.

Two hundred and thirty-seven baboons. That's so much poop. That's just a lot. Just just standing like, you know, just a few meters behind a baboon. Hey, do you mind? Can I? Come on. Just not if I just, you know, it's a little poop.

Heads up, coming through. Let me just, I'll get that for you. Oh, good lord. After 18 years, I'll get that for you. After 18 years, they found that the alpha females have significantly lower levels of the glucocorticoids, hormones produced in response to stress. Baboon females are a very orderly group, with one reigning alpha who gets away over everyone else, a second in command who dominates all but the alpha and so on, down to the bottom-ranked female who gets pushed around by most everyone. The bottom bitch, right? That's what they call her, the bottom. Everyone else is at top.

Dominance gives baboons a lot of advantages in life. Higher ranking females get preferential treatment in grooming bouts and first dibs at feeding time. As a result, their babies grow faster and more likely to survive to adulthood. Considering all these perks, the researchers say it came as no surprise that higher status means lower glucocorticoids. They found that the larger a female's share of subordinates, the lower her glucocorticoid levels, but what puzzled the team was why the top-ranking females stood out so much from the rest. Their stress hormone levels were 8% lower than everyone else in their group.

The findings were surprising because baboons aren't like some other species with clear-cut quote queens said first author Emily Levy, a biology PhD student in Susan Albert's Duke. Top ranking baboon females don't claim exclusive rights to reproduction, as in some other species. You don't usually look at an alpha-female baboon and see a bully, Levy said. The researchers aren't sure what drives the disparity between leaders and non-leaders in baboon females, but suggested two possible explanations. It could be that alpha females experience less stress because they hold their position longer than other females, Levy said. A baboon matriarch rules in a society in which power is handed down from mother to daughter.

Which is wild to me. It's a dynasty baby. I guess Crusader kings but for primates. I assume a big Crusader Kings three you can make a baboon your like, fucking Viceroy or whatever. I think so. They they've else. I saw a guy set up his game. It took him like 20 years. He had to change his religion to be ritual cannibals so that he could eventually kill and eat the Pope. Great. Great game. All right. All but the top ranking female eventually see their spot to the daughters as they get older. But once in the thi, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. theeeeeeeeeeat, thi. thi. thi. thi, thi but the top-ranking female eventually seed their spot to the daughters as they get older. But once in sconconstant

power, alphas have been known to rule for eight years or more. Take Pindua, an alpha female who ruled unchallenged until she died in 1989. Only then did her daughter assume the throne, recalls Albert's, who who had spent 30 years studying wild baboons as part of the Amberseli Baboon Research Project. She was definitely a grand dame, very calm and non-reactive, but unambiguous about her power. That is very ominous to me. Diana Rigg kind of figure. There's another reason why the alpha female may be different from the others on measures

of stress hormones, Albert said, is that there's no female above her to push her around. The alpha female only has herself to answer to, Albert said. She goes where she pleases. Nobody's going to mess with her. Previous research... We're saying, uh, the more baboons there are above you in the totem pole, the more stress hormones you're going to experience? Yes, but...

So you would say, mole monkey more problems? I wouldn't say that. No? I also wouldn't say that. And that is apparently only true for ladies. Previous research by Alberts and colleagues at Princeton University found the opposite pattern for alpha male baboons. Top ranked males have the highest levels of stress hormones. Ah, more monkeys more problems.

Yes, that's true Theo. Presumably because instead of inheriting their status, as females do, males have to fight to stay on top. In male baboons, you can just watch the alpha for a day and say, wow, that individual is kicking everybody's butt, Levy said. For females, it's a little more nuanced. Beautiful. Heavy is the head that wears the crown I'm imagining the crown is made out of like woven banana peel. You assume so. I don't know what else they're their the the crown is made out of like woven banana peels. I assume so.

I don't know what else they're going to make a crown out of. Poop. That's the two construction materials that they have it had. Handing down like petrified dung crown. This was your great, great, great grandfather's diarrhea. Oh boy. Formed into a ring and left a set in the sun. It's craftsmanship. He kept, when he was in the prison camp, he kept his diarrhea in his ass.

He wanted you to have this. Oh boy. I think we've got time very quickly for one more Nature Corner because this is a very short story. And if you can play the first one again. Country Roes, take me home to the place. I belong to the place I belong. Country roes take me home to the place. I belong, Bultonistor, nature corner, rubber crab, sniffed my dick.

I hate to have my dick snipped. I feel like any episode that starts with anybody except for Andrew giving the intro tends to have some weird power in palates that just leaves it going off the rail for approximately 60 minutes. It's absolute chaos. It's not the way things should work. But it is the way things work. Yeah. He will claim his spot at top of the monkey pile. Next week. That's me King monkey So what a ooh Oh Ooh Everything today is coming is a surprise to you this is delightful

So here's a he's a headline that Ben wrote Which I have a feeling he's going to say is just for us. Loose seal? Yeah, that was absolutely just for you guys. Okay Beautiful. Thank you. I appreciate that. I did try and work? I did try. I to to to to to to to try. I try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. I tod. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh to to to to to to to to to today. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I tod. I try. I try. I try. I try. I try. I try. I try. I try. I try. I to. I to. to. to. to. I to. to. to. to. to. I to. to. to. tod. tod. I tod. tod. say is just for us. Loose Seal. Yeah, that was absolutely just for you guys. Hey. Beautiful, thank you man. I appreciate that. I did try and work a much longer headline with something to do with a concealed seal in there, but I just couldn't make it work. So you got the half-haust one, I'm sorry.

Lose seal, ladies and gentlemen. Now we did already have a snake mystery, but now we have a mystery seal, which has blocked a lane and then fleed Wellington Urban Motorway. And this is the sort of stuff that makes dramatic headline news in New Zealand, the adorable pretend country. Just a joke place where joke people live. Wonderful, innocent New Zealand. Beautiful place. Their major news website is stuff, stuff. Pretend country just a joke place where joke people live wonderful innocent new beautiful place Hmm their major news website is stuff dot code on and Z Which I believe is now actually owned like it's self-owned by the staff they bought it off the the previous one it's actually quite cool. I think? I think that's the stall. It's stall that the the the the the prevue is? the stuff. the st. the st. st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their new. new. new. their new. new. their new. the the new. new.. Stuff. Dot on headz.

Hey, have you checked out your top-level domain. Do you like stuff? From stuff, people who attempted to catch an errant mystery seal on Wellington Urban Motorway, turned up to the scene to find nothing there. I'm assuming the seal threw down a smoke bomb, Batman style. Just ninja out of there. And when they say mystery seal, I am picturing a seal wearing like the old-timey bandit mask. Yeah.

You might notice there in the notes I've bolded the word errant. Errant from what? Like, I... So the implication is that it has deviated from... Errant from what? Like, I... So the implication is that it has deviated from... Seal schedule. From the accepted standards of behavior that we expect from a seal in polite society. Yeah, which seems like a very sort of human-centric thing to be like,

well, seals can't go on the road. I don't think we can, we can map our norms and our just just our sensibilities onto the seal which is nature's clown. You're absolutely right they're the clouds of the sea and occasionally the highway. I don't think it was errant. I think we were errand in putting a highway in a place that a seal could go. I think that's on us. That should have been considered. Hmm. A police spokeswoman said about that a seal could go. I think that's on us. That should have been considered. A police spokeswoman said about half a dozen motorists

had phoned police about the animal's presence on the Capitol's 100 kilometer an hour motorway on Friday night. Imagine hitting a seal doing 100 kilometers an hour. That's got to be bad for your suspension. But I mean, what's a seal doing, traveling that fast. I quit. We like to have fun. Police got a cold about 7.45 p.m. The seal was blocking one lane as at 8 p.m. the spokeswoman said, motorists have reported that they had seen the seal on the shoulderway of the motorway.

Between Hut Road and the Altaia Key off-ramp. Now the seal had not been hit nor had any accident occurred that spokeswoman confirmed officers are driven to the scene in an attempt to catch the seal only to find no animal presence. It's a very dramatic phrasing. Like they're telling a spooky story. Oh. Police were unsure if it had been spooked by traffic. No, I don't know what about the fucking trucks going by at 100 kilometers now would bother a seal. Or if it had left the scene itself. Like what's, what is the alternative there right? They're unsure if it left the scene itself?

Um, seal rapture. Oh if it maybe got the left over it? Well it's exactly right it got seal left overed. But the main thing is like they don't wear pants so there's nothing there's no the indicator to be left behind. Oh there's no like neat and tidy pile of clothing or fillings Langalea's style for us to tell that the seal is gone. No glasses. Half-eaten tuna. I just also I guess maybe the implication is that someone was like, that's a nice seal. I'll have that.

Just picked it up. Place not what not. to put his car and driven off. Come on you. You know it's curbside. You go driving around and you. Do do. Do do. Do. Do. Do. thua. thua. thua. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoom. thoom. thoing. thoing. th. thi. thoing. thoing. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. too. toolioling. I. tooling.ea. Ia. Ia.. Ia.. Ia. Ia. I'll. I'll, you, do I need it? I'll take it to the tip if I don't. And closing out this article is the line, Stuff was also unable to locate the animal.

How much diligence do you think stuff put into that? Like did they send a reporter down to that spot to have a sticky beak for the seal? Hey, you want to that spot to have a sticky beak for the seal? Hey, you want to see- I think that is exactly what has happened. Joke Country. They are, yeah, they, they talked to the police who said, no, there's no seal because we're standing here and we're looking around there isn't one. And then the person from stuff also took a look around. Which is good. As we all know, you should never take a police statement at face value. Definitely verify for yourself. It's shame they didn't find that seal.

I mean, no it's not, because that would mean that the seal had stayed there like overnight. It's good they didn't find that seal and I hope it's happy wherever it is. That seal is on the run. Loose seal. It's like band on the run except it's a seal. And that's a little song you can sing to yourself inside your own head. Loose seal you got some splainin to do. That's nice current reference. Thanks for listening to Buonavista. Check us out on Patreon, that's it. Bye. Patreon.com slash. Don't get this though. We're out here.

Bye. Hi.