Boonta Vista - EPISODE 17: Baby Shoes, Lost Custody (Featuring @Bronzehammer)

Episode Date: October 4, 2017

Welcome back from our unexpected hiatus for a fuckin BUMPER episode! Andrew and Theo are joined by Jesse Farrar, co-host of Your Kickstarter Sucks and author of the new book 'Ask the Old Football Coach: Brilliantly Brainless Advice from the Ghosts of Gridiron Past". We're talking about depressing crowdfunding, if it's possible to be racist against Australians, Andrew and Theo's American accents and the frequency with which each of us gets that poison nut out. Listen to Your KickStarter Sucks: https://soundcloud.com/ykspod Buy Ask the Old Football Coach: https://www.amazon.com/Ask-Old-Football-Coach-Brilliantly/dp/1493030078 You can subscribe on Patreon for exclusive bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista Don't forget to rate & subscribe on iTunes if that's your thing. _____________________________ Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista iTunes: tinyurl.com/y8d5aenm Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=144888&refid=stpr Pocket Casts: http://pca.st/SPZB RSS: tinyurl.com/kq84ddb Ear Buds Network: http://earbudsnetwork.com

Airbuds, Melbourne's podcast network. Airbuds network.com. Welcome to Buente Vista Socialist Club, episode 17. I'm Andrew. I'm joined as usual by Theo. Gooday. And we have with us today's guest, Jesse Farah, author and co-host of The Your Kickstarter Sucks podcast. How you doing, Jesse? Hello, boys. Pleasure to be on the program. I'm doing very well, watching a little bit of American

football as we alluded to before we got started recording here. So anytime you see me turn to my left, I'm checking the score of the Los Angeles Rams and the highly offensive Washington sports team. Whose name we shall not say. Yeah I'm trying not to say that. I try not to say that. My wife is a school teacher and they have a cat, they have a, I don't understand, I don't ask me what the purpose of this is, but there's a cowboy day coming up at the school so she's she's dressing up, those kids are dressing, it's like a homecoming type. I don't, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm try, I'm try, I'm try, I'm try, I'm try, I'm try, I'm th. I'm thry, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm, I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm try, I'm try, I'm try, I'm try, I'm try, I'm try, I'm try, I'm try, I'm try, I'm try, I'm try, I'm try, so she's dressing up. Those kids are dressing. It's like a homecoming type. I don't know if you have homecoming there. Homecoming here is where, and stop me if this is too pedantic,

or if I'm treating you like children, which you're not, I can tell by looking at you on the screen. Homecoming is where a, the home school football team will schedule a Either a a close competitor or a cream puff like a not very good team so they can get the win and feel good have a lot of school pride Okay, and then around that week. There's generally a lot of silly stuff There's you know, there's like little parties in the classes. There's dress up days. There's all kinds of fun stuff. T, there's generally a lot of silly stuff. There's, you know, there's like little parties in the classes. There's dress up days. There's all kinds of fun stuff like that.

So there's a cowboy day coming up. And my wife came home from the department store today with some Native American garb. And I didn't know, I didn't know how far to go with saying, you know, maybe don't, don't, don't really do it up. Maybe throw on the leather tassels and then call it a day, you know? Yeah, that's probably okay, but anything other than that I think maybe is a little bit too far, so. Nothing above the neckline, I think. Yeah, it gets pretty weird up there, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. No, well, that's useful to me because I never knew the specifics of the

homecoming. I always assumed it was just kind of like another prom kind of deal. There's that too. Yeah, there's dances. There's all kind of, you know, any excuse to detract from the educational endeavor, you know, so. Well, here the, here the prom is called like a school formal, formal dance, the end of year thing. And although, my wife who grew up in a country town, had a thing which is completely alien and foreign to me called a Deb, which is like the debutante ball. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's a whole weird thing where all the girls get fancy dresses and such, and they are then like, you debut on the social stage.

Wow. There is a, she has a, you debut on the social stage. Wow. There is a, she has a VHS somewhere in the house of her debutante bull. I'm confused by it. It's very strange to me. Well, that's interesting that you mentioned that because until, you know, until, you know, in my childhood and my adolescence, there was a store in the mall, and you guys understand

what a mall is, I don't have to explain that by. There was a store in the mall called Deb. And as far as I could tell, all it sold was like really chintzy clothing, like almost exclusively prom, homecoming dress type stuff, like tiaras, like little bangles on the arms, you know, that kind of stuff. I never made the connection, but I guess debutante is probably where the name comes from. There was even a Deb 2, if I'm not mistaken.

Deb 2, the Debening. Yeah, that's weird. Okay, never thought about that. Of course, it's long since closed because nobody, nobody goes. thiiiiii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th. to, to, to, to, to, to, thi. thi. to, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, the, the, the, the, the, they. to, to, t. toe. toe. toea. toea. toea. toea. tog. tog. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. t deboning. Yeah, that's weird. Okay, never thought about that. Of course, it's long since closed because nobody, you know, nobody goes to malls anymore, but that never made that connection. Hmm. And Jesse, can we get a, can we get a can chick? Oh, yeah, I'm, I'm on the dad beer. Um, the Michelob ultra, 2.5 grams of carbs, 95 calories, the official beer of dads everywhere. I don't know if you, do you guys have an analog of this or anything down there at all? That's like a real like low calorie style. We got plenty. It's really state dependent.

Where I am, our national pride is a 4x, so you got 4x gold. But I don't know, what are you, what's the analog in Camber? You guys allowed alcohol there? Yeah, yeah, hey, there's even like a craft brewery in Camber now, man. Come on. Give us some credit. No, see, I feel like the analog to the low-car beer for Australia that I see a lot of people with is the nowhere nearer's masculinely named pure blonde.

That was like the O.G. Low-car beer here. Yeah. That's rough from a branding perspective. Yeah, and like my understanding of it was it's not meant to refer to, you know, a blonde lady just having a low-car beer. Sure. It's more the color of the beer, but it still always made me go, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's kind of a European thing to bronze, um, to call beer as blonde. So that's interesting that it's infiltrated down there.

A lot of guys got right into it though. You know, more concerned with the waistline and anything else. I've seen a lot of it at barbecues and that kind of thing. And you know, what the thing about it is is I don't even, you know, I've been talking to Mike about this lately my co co-host on the show, my good friend. I don't care what I look like anymore, so I'm just done. I'm just like, I'm throwing in the towel on that, you know? It's not a concern to me. It comes in and out, you know, like here, the celebrity who embodies this philosophy the most, and thiolo, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and the thi, and thi, they, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, I'm, I'm just, I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, thin, thin, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho'll see him just be a real big fat guy for a while.

And then he'll slim down. He'll look kind of sickly, you know, just by comparison. I do not care for a thin Jonah Hill. It's weird. It's really weird. And sometimes I think at a certain point, like if you're 30, you know, I don't know what your demographics are on your show, but if you're 30, we don't either. It just, you just are what you are at a certain point, right? Like I'm, I'm going to be a, a ponchy man.

I'm never going to get big, right? I'm never going to have big muscles. But I'm also never going to balloon, I'm not gonna be like 600 pounds, you know, I just can't, my body just can't support that, that kind of weight. You'd have to be trying really hot. Oh, it would have to be a real endeavor, but I'm not gonna pack on any muscle or anything. I'm just going to be either, you know, like acceptable in public in a medium t-shirt or or I'm just going to look like a dad and and that's okay so I'm just I'm happy with the dad thing it's okay to me but the why I drink the low calorie low-car beer is I just anyone's a guess at this point there's no part there's no utility to it I just do it so I don't know. See maybe it's like a we've got a lot of friends who are very into the craft beer.

Theo and Ben both live in the same state, just around the corner, well, they both live in Brisbane. Just around the corner from the brewery where 4X is made, the beer of racists, and in the deep north, as they call Queensland in Australia. The deep north, as they call Queensland in Australia. Deep north, okay. I'm learning a little bit about the geography of the continent as you're explaining this. I don't, I have to admit that my ignorance level of it is probably quite high compared to most people you talk to. I could point it out on a map, but as far as like the, the where you get into it, the specifics. The topography of it is, boy, I mean, I'd just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just I'd I'd I'd I'd just just just just just just just just just just just just just the the th, I'd the the the the th, I'd the the the th, I'd the the the th. I'd the the the the the the the the the the, I'm. I'm, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the deep. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the, I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'd th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm theeea. I'm th. I'm theeatea. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the, where you get into it, the topography of it is, boy, I mean, I'd just be throwing darts.

So he's, so he's up north, you're further south or you consider yourself east or west or what, what's the. I am, uh, the south eastern coast. I'm in a nation's great capital, Camber. Which is, I suppose, more, more kind of analogouse of of of of of of of of of the the kind I suppose more kind of analogy to like Washington, D.C., where it's in the Australian capital territory, so a little bit that's marked out inside of a big estate, where all the politicians go and do their grift. And also not the first place that foreigners would imagine is the capital. No.

Right. It's very similar to D.C. in that regard where maybe if you took like, I guess if America weren't like world police, you could envision a scenario in which somebody fresh off the boat would say, oh, well, New York is the capital. I hear about it all the time or whatever. It's the big one. But no, we've got this weird mid-atllantic state that there's nothing distinguishing about it other than there's a big white building there. Well, yeah, I think part of the reason that they built Camber in the first place was that

Melbourne and Sydney were beefing over which city should get to be the capital. And they picked a spot that was pretty much geographically dead between the two of them and said, Put a city here and make it that. Okay, I like that. Hmm. Which is why there is a another city just over the border that was already there, and but they went, ah, fuck that city. Let's just have a new. So poor Queen Bien poor Queen Anne overshadowed for its whole run. Just sitting there, just sitting just over the border. Poor Quangers. Quangers. So anyway, quangers. Okay, that's why we're not going to get into it, it's fine.

Yep. Just keep on trucking. Don't even, don't start to ask about the spelling of any of the places here, any of that sort of stuff. Well I have. to say. to say th. to say. th. th. th. th. th. to say th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to th. to th. to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi, to to thi, just just just just just thi, just just just just just just thi, just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to thi. to to to to to to thi. to to to to thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi about the spelling of any of the places here, any of that sort of stuff. Well, I have to say I'm especially sensitive to trying to repeat things that you have said, because pronouncing them properly is almost like I'm just mimicking the way that you're saying it, which I think will sound offensive if I say it in the way that you've said it, because you mentioned a city earlier, which to me would be Brisbane, but of course you pronounce it Brisbane, but then it sounds like I'm doing an impression of you. So I'm very conscious about that. Like I don't want to repeat the things the way that you've said then.

It's fine. It's impossible to be racist against Australians. Well, now, now you say that, Theo that, Theo that, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, that, that, that, you know, and I thought that too until I listened to the episode you did with my friend Trevor Hegelbaum on Twitter who does the great video game journalism. You guys were very sensitive to the depiction of Crash Bandicoot and related Australia. And I think Lily in particular was was commenting on that, how it was offensive the way that there was like a, you know, like the tribal mask and all that kind of stuff. So hearing that, and of course, having a different dialect of English and being incapable of picking out sarcasm,

because there's just no way, right? Like there's no way to hear her say, you know, fucking cunt and then, and tell if she's smiling. Oh, yeah. So it's very hard to tell. So it's very hard to tell. So the Australian face, that really learned me something when I was listening to that. I was never aware of racism against Australians because it seems like you guys are all pisstakers. So that's just the way it is. Oh yeah. Yes, it's very hard to be mad at racism against white Australians. Sure. But you know, if if we dig a little deeper than that. Yeah there's a big problem there right. Oh yeah there's some don't worry we've we've got we've got racism down Pat. We've got all of our

internal hierarchies and systems of racism. Oh good because I was going to send a crew down there and get you guys up to speed on racism. But if you got it under control that's cool. We still run in tournament camps for foreigners, thank you. We're we're batting well above our average at the moment. Although you guys are trying to like get back up to speed with the whole ice thing now so. That's right yeah we're gonna take back the crown here the th. the the to to to to to to their. to to to to to to to to their. to to their. their. their. their. their their their their their their to to to their to their their their their. their. their. to go. that's that's to go. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. try. I'm. I soon. It's a sad state that we're all in at the moment. Yeah it's no good man. Just to just to explain the whereabouts of the other hosts on the show. Ben as we alludded to he is currently in Seattle watching what he calls in his own words Sporps Bowl and he insisted I call it that.

It's very upsetting. Very insistent. He says he's in a Sporps bar, whatever that is. So I'm excited for Ben to listen back to this and know that this is what people understand that he thinks sports is now. Yeah Ben, just an ass. He tells me that he is currently over there obnoxiously explaining rugby league to people in the sports bar, which is good. I made an assumption that that would be telling Americans

that that American football is for pussies because they play with pads and union players do not and he said you are correct that is exactly what I'm telling them currently. If you're an Australian and you are outside of the country that's what you're obligated to tell people about football. Even if you're not really a fan like me. Yeah, that's the stock argument right? Yeah. It's just a gigantic Samoan dudes who are shaped like fridges running directly into each other. You know, we have a guy here who is famous for being shaped like a refrigerator. Did he have a nickname? Was it the refrigerator? Yeah, it was. William the Refrigerator Perry?

Remember the Chicago Bears organization? So, so hey, we got guys up here that can be shaped like the Refrigerator Perry, remember the Chicago Bears organization. So, hey, we got guys up here that can be shaped like that too. I mean, I think we probably invented the refrigerator if I had to guess. Well, at least like the NFL's got like strategy, change out the different lines, all that kind of stuff. Rugby League, they just have two te teams guys and they just crash into each other like waves from opposing oceans over and over again. Well I'm sure it looks that way to you you know someone who's not steeped in the the history of the sport and and all

that you probably you're just you're on the outside looking in what do you know? You gotta get in the trenches. There's a lot of, there's a lot of, you know, tricky subtlety. They can pass the ball to the left or the right before running into somebody. A full 360 degrees of motion that you're just not, you're not giving them credit for. Well, no, you can't pass it forward. That's foul. There's no... Yes. Well, of course, I knew that. But there are some people that might not, you know.

And Lucy, Lucy is in Europe, currently getting savage IBS from eating blood sausage and drinking the thick dark beer, I assume. Realizing now I call her Lily instead of Lucy. Just to be clear, that's not because I'm, um, that's not because I'm that's, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, uh, there, uh, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, now I called her Lily instead of Lucy, just to be clear that's not because I'm an oath who confuses all women, it's because I have been drinking since 11 a.m. so just to be clear, it's not my fault. Well, we finally found an example of racism against white Australians. Now I understand white grievance. It's fine she's never going to listen to this. So we did talk about how one of the one of the things we thought we might you know have a bit of a look

into before we talk to you was was the Australian equivalence to the Kickstarter platform because there are Australian specific crowdfunding platforms you know and I know thatto the Kickstarter platform because there are Australian specific crowdfunding platforms. You know and I know that you do you do cherish and love your time with crowdfunding with Kickstarter. I have been curious how much time like in an average week do you spend combing through Kickstarter's to get material for the show? Well you know not not to give away the farm? the truth the truth? but the the truth the the truth the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theylu. the the the theylu. truth. truth. truth. truth. I truth. truth. truth. the the truth. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the is to get material for the show. Well, you know, not to give away the farm, but the truth of it is very little. And that's for several reasons,

one of which is that, you know, Mike and I are lazy people, by definition, that's just the way we are. We do things at the last minute. You know, right now, I really hope that we'll be able to record one tonight as we speak. I have not talked to him all day long, so for all I know he's asleep. And that's his right. He works long hours at his regular job, which I don't have and can't sympathize with, but very frequently this is the way it works. He lives close by about 40 minutes away by car, which is close by our standards here. So you know he'll come over if we can both clear our whole day,

he'll come over. We'll hang out for a while, we'll open up the laptops. We'll start talking to each other and we realize, we haven't had lunch. Let's go grab some lunch. So we go out to like a sushi place when we get some lunch. Some of that famous Tennessee sushi that I'm sure you guys have even heard of down there. You know how fresh it is up here. So we'll do that. We'll wel, come back. Then my kids will be running around, bothering him, because they love Mike, they love jumping all over him.

They love playing with Mike and telling him all about stuff and he can't understand them. So we do that for a little while. Then eventually they go to bed, we settle down. Before you know, it, seven hours have gone by, and all we've done is just like sit around around and sit around and sit around and sit around and sit around and sit around and sit around and sit around and sit around and sit around and sit around and sit around and sit around and sit around and sit around and sit around and sit around and sit around and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and sit around and shoot the shit. So we pull up Kickstarter, we search some of our favorite keywords, we pull up this, that, and the other thing, and then we just improv the rest. So, you know, I'd love to be able to say,

just for the purposes of marketing the show, that it is, you know, it's a passion project and we read these things all day long and we get really into it we know a lot about it but you know the truth is we we just don't we pick out the things that seem especially egregious and we riff on them and then we upload it to SoundCloud so to the extent that that is successful you know I don't know how much credit we can take for it other than just the website has not run dry yet there there. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th is a th is a the. the. the. the. that that that that that that is that the the. the. the. the th is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is thea thea thea the is the is the is the can take for it other than just the website has not run dry yet. There's just so much garbage on there that even a light skimming will result in some, you know, you're going to get some gold every now and then. And it's just a volume equation at this point, you know? Well, the reason I ask is because I started having a skim through, you can filter by the country

of origin of the Kickstarter. So you can look through, for example, all of the Australian kickstaters, the most funded ones. And I did a fair bit of a skim through there and was like, just not seeing that many funny ones. And it made me think, let's take a keen eye to find the right ones. I did notice that the second most funded Australian Kickstarter of all time was an absolutely ridiculous toilet seat shaped airline sleeping pillow.

Okay, seems like that's something that already exists in massive quantities at every airport. But, ah, but this one, you can open up like an actual toilet seat. So it's like two horseshoe-shaped things stuck together and you can open it up and there's a bunch of different configurations that you can put it in. And it struck me as patently ridiculous and hugely inconsiderate of all other passengers on the flight. So, well, there was one, there's a traditional style of horseshoe type pillow you can wear it in. You can turn that around to the side and open it up a bit so that you can lean over and they're like, this is snooze mode. Then you can open it up a bit more like a toilet seat, put it on your tray table in front of you and just sleep face down like you passed out in the gutter. It also comes with a strap that you

can loop around the seat back, open it up more and basically hook this thing up against your face and sleep sitting up and leaning forward. Wow. Well what I... you know what... when it comes to other countries, it's not necessarily conscious, but one thing that I find is that a lot of times the jokes don't translate. So we have a hard time parsing things like that, that maybe you would have like a better handle on as someone native to the area. You know, one time we put something on there that was a, it was called knob, it was like knob to handle or something like that. And it seemed just like a very stupid invention where you could, you know,

like if you had like rheumatoid arthritis or something like that, like you you can turn every knob on a door into a handle that you can you know exert that leverage on and make a little bit easier to open But the video seemed really crummy and the guys seemed like they didn't know what they were doing The product was really half baked and then we found out it's a joke, but to me that's not a good joke, but it's not a good joke, but it's British guys, right? So it's like, I that. thrown. th. to to to to to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. th. th. th. to me. thi. thi. to me. thi. thi. the the they. thi. they. the thi. thi. thi. the the the the video. tho. tho. the video. the video. the video. the video. the video. the video. the video. the video. the video. the video. the video. the video. the the the video. the the the the the video. the the the the the the video. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. the. the. the. theeeat. theat. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the video. the video's like I thought that was Australian or maybe maybe okay maybe it was I see it look you guys are all the same to me let me just emphasize that if you're not American you can go pound sand I don't know the difference but but yeah that's exactly the kind of thing like we're just gonna make ourselves look stupid if we're not for sure

that it's like some schmuck from Brooklyn New York who's trying toto start a business off of like a bespoke hot sauce or something so it's like if if we were to go on to these Australian kick starters and stuff I think we would just make ourselves look really stupid honestly we just wouldn't get any of it. It's lost in translation. So we we had we had planned a little segment here. So I think we probably won't get time to do now, and I had my slight concerns that it was going to just turn really depressing, which which was that we have like an Australian answer to Craigslist, which is called Gumtree, Okay, purveyors of the finest stolen televisions. Australian answer to Craigslist, which is called Gumtree. Okay.

Perveyors of the finest stolen televisions. My wife loves like buy-sell swap groups on Facebook and that kind of shit. Yeah. Gumbtree and that sort of stuff. And she will just show me the bleakest listings on this thing. Like I think we were looking for a for like a mattress for a spare bed a while ago. She's like, I look on gum tree. Like, mm-mm. She showed me pictures of like ones just propped up against the wall and some greasy apartment.

Massive, massive blood stain in the center. And a note in the listing that just says it's coffee. Oh God. I didn't believe it and I don't believe it. So Theo had now you know you were saying before about searching searching. You got your keywords. You got your keywords. Like particular keywords. Right. So Theo started searching by using the keywords, divorce. Sure. Or lost or custody.

Wow. And I don't know what it is about people. I don't know. There's a certain age thing where they want to get on. They want to put an ad on for, you know, in this case, let's say it's a Yamaha XT660X bike, and you're on there and you want to put an ad on there, selling it and you think, ah, you know what I should do? I should describe my custody battle while I'm, while I'm riding this. It's been very well looked after and selling due to custody battle, need the money so I can fight to see my little boy.

Very regrettable sale. Wow. Wow. So, um, so we had planned to play a little game with you. We were going to read you a listing and have you guess whether it was it was being sold or whether it was being sold due to just being sold or due to divorce or due to lost custody. I feel like it could have turned I feel like it could have turned pretty dark pretty quick. So instead, so instead. Well there was the what was your one?

Hit us with your one bonus. Yeah, Lucy dug up one for tickets to supercars. I have an adult and one child ticket to this year's GC 600 versus a supercar race. I bought these for myself and my son, but unfortunately due to custody battles my son can't go, so I couldn't go without him. Just wouldn't mean anything to me without the little man. So any father is out there who can take their little man. I will sacrifice these tickets for only

$180. They're great tickets where you can sit at the stand and watch the action. That's that's like the shit. So maybe not relevant super cars being is being like, like the Indy Car. Yeah, like the, like the Indy Car, but on a, um, not a, not a round circuit, a track kind of thing. Open wheel racing? Uh, I don't know what those words mean. No, they're more, um, well, it's, it's more kind of analogous to, um, like NASCAR kind of stuff, in the sense that they are, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, like, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, th, th, th, th, th, CAR kind of stuff in the sense that they are, I think I'm right here. There are a couple of local manufacturers like Ford and Holden and stuff. They just soup the living shit out of those cars and racing.

Sounds like you guys don't know Dick about supercars. It would almost give that impression, but I think we're trying to make our audience. They'll appreciate it. No, it's, yeah, it's, it's V8 supercars. So, so they are, they're not open wheel or anything. They are just, they're these local car manufacturers of V8s. Oh no, I think they've got like Mercedes and shit in there too. Yeah, local to Australia like Mercedes. And Ford. Yeah. Yes. Famously Australian car manufacturer. And the Chrysler brand Holden.

Yeah. Well yeah, GMC have like an Australian offshoot called Holden. Right. The Holden Commodore. Anyway, it's great to take your little, your little fellow along to. If you can. If you can. If you can. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, if you can, yeah, if you can, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the the the the the the the the th, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, to to to to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to to to to to to the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to-a. to-a. to-a. to-a. Anyway, it's great to take your little, your little fellow along too. If you can. It's almost as good as having a mom. It's almost, you know? I feel like a, yeah. Running, running topic of the show, family court dads. You guys, uh, anybody here? Produe of divorce? No? Oh, family court dads. You guys, anybody here, product of divorce? No? Oh yes, I'm not. No?

Broken home? Theo, yes? Yeah, yeah. Yep. I feel like I'm the minority in the podcast. I'm the minority in the podcast in that sense. Wow, I mean, it's not really a contest or anything, but that's cool that you view it that way though. Yeah, it's nice you got that chance to grow up in a normal handler. No, not, not me, my dad's just normal dead, just regular dead.

He's not like in a, it's not like my mom tells me he's dead, but he's like in another state, like living in a ground floor apartment somewhere. It's like he's just normal like he's actually dead like he's crossed over. So whatever your belief system is regarding that he's either there or he's not there. That's the whole funeral whole thing. You know put him under put him underground all that so. Right. So yeah, you're pretty sure that's uh, pretty pretty pretty sure guys, pretty sure he's not coming back anytime soon. Uh, they, you know, you never know. Oh, well.

Well, uh, I don't know. I don't know, congratulations to me. Is that for, I'd say so. Yeah. Well, I don't know. It's good on you. It's not. It's, it. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. It's pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. It's. Pretty. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. Pretty. Pretty. It's. Pretty. It's. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. It's. Pretty. Pretty. It's. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. It's. It's. Pretty. It's. it's good on you. It's good on you. It's not an achievement, not an achievement on my part. I take it. Let us hit you. Hang on a second. Let me interrupt you. Yeah. Listen up. I know this is your show. Why don't you shut the fuck up for a second? Let me tell you something. So we're talking about that for a second. Let me tell you something. I thi th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. we're talking about dead dads, right? Yeah. I think we were talking about that for a second. I'll tell you one thing about the intersection of dead fathers and Australian stuff vis-a-vis myself. My buddy, my lifelong best friend, his dad died as well.

A separate situation. They were not like they were on the same helicopter or something. It was a totally different situation. So he helped. Yeah, two different choppers. Two different choppers. Choppers are very common up here. We all fly around on choppers all the time.

So he died. And I was at the wake, the funeral the funeral, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, it, it, it, the, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, theyymea, theymea, theymea, theymea, separate, separate, separate, separate, separate, separate, separate, separate, separate, separate, the, separate, the time. So he died and I was at the wake, the funeral, the viewing arrangement, you know. And here's my memory of it, the memory of it, their in. My memory of it, and I'm willing to accept the difference between my memory of it and the reality of it, is that for some reason I thought it would be a hoot to put on an Australian accent for the entire time that I was there. No, we're like, you know, we're like 10, right? We're like 10 years old. This wasn't like yesterday. Oh, okay. I yeah. You know, I'm I'm a 30 year old man. This was not, I wasn't just like doing this last weekend and I came in and this is not like a recent story.

This was when I was a 10 year old person. And I don't know, it's totally inappropriate, obviously. But I thought it would be fun to do. And all of his family, like his extended family that came in for the purposes, you know, of seeing like their dead son and all that. They thought I was his Australian friend. So that's how I remember it. But I bet, I bet the reality of it was that they just thought I was like deranged, you know?

Don't you think? Why is this guy talking like this? Yeah, like, like, oh, he's experienced some kind of trauma or something. Because, you know, it's not, I mean, you know, my experience of Australia to that point would have been like Rocco's modern life. Hmm. Yeah, and Rocco doesn't really sound very Australian, if we're all being fat. I mean he sounds on the other aspects, but... Yeah, he sounds more like a... Sounds more like a dingo than he does Australian.

I mean it's... Or whatever the hell he is, a wallaby, you know, I don't know, it's a fucking New Zealander. Oh, well, okay, so so, so so, so so, so so, so so, so th, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the th. thi. thi. th. to, to to th. to to to to to the th. toooooo. th. th. thi. thi fucking New Zealander. Oh, whoa, okay, so you can tell the difference. Oh yeah, yeah. Um, we all, we have time, time-honored traditions of making fun of each other's accents. That's all we have to do. For example, yes, we would say like the number six, and when they say it, it sounds like they're saying sex. And that is funny to us. That is incredibly funny for millennia, I think. That'll be, Australians will be laughing over that. Simple little linguistic treat. That is, that is really funny.

Yeah. So, I just wanted to tell that anecdote. Probably colors your perception of me negatively somewhat, but I just want to say that it was before I had reached the age of majority and I just want to say that I condemn all of my actions before, you know, like 20 or so. I think all of them were bad. I didn't, nothing I did before then was good. So anyways, just wanted to get that out out there and it's it's basically it's like I wanted to explain that it's it's like I'm I feel like I'm being

torn in two directions the first direction is I want to be respectful of your culture and so on another one is I want to do an Australian accent oh please I want to ask every American who comes on to give it a crack. But that's fucked up though. Like, that's fucked up. You would think it would be fucked up if I had you on the show and said, all right now, do you do your American accent if you're so fucking good or whatever? You know, like, that's just, that's like imperialist. That's so fucked up that that would even, because you're just, you're just people. You're not. I'd do it. Do you have one?

Theo, hit him with your American accent. Let's hear it. Absolutely not. Do you need a phrase? Do you need a phrase? Do you need something to... Because I find when I think about what I would say in an Australian accent, the number one thing to me is say in an Australian accent, the number one thing to me is not the inflection or the pronunciation or anything. It's like, what would I say if I were Australian? And of course, you know, we're inundated with the very cliche stereotypical type things that are something you of course you guys have never said in your lives. But those are the first things that come to mind. So like do you need an American phrase to like key into the accent? Well are we are we talking like just just like a generic

generic kind of East Coast accent? Are we talking like a silly cowboy accent? What are we talking about here? If you can find a difference in them, I mean, I'd be happy to I'd be happy to hear anything, you know I'm just basically to us, you know to our ear to to to to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to our to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their anything you know I'm just basically to us you know to our ear the English accent the American accent is just the absence of all other affectations you know like we don't we don't hear ourselves as having an accent obviously and since it's all we're exposed to we never learn any better than that so so whereas we're all raised on American TV so so yeah you know you're you have I think. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I to I to I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to to to better than that. So we're all raised on American TV. So yeah, I think you do have like a more broader cultural diet, right? Hmm.

Well, I think like you could, as I've probably spoke. Okay. Yes. As I've spoken about on here before, I feel like when you look at the sort of over-representation of American, sorry, of Australian actors in Hollywood, you get a lot of Australian actors who can do American accents. But not a lot of Americans who can do Australian accents. You've got the tuned ear for it, though, right? You say, let me just say, you say, mm, a lot, and I don't know if it's an agreeance.

It's, it's agree, it's a greance. It sounds so sarcastic to me. I can't, it's, it's definitely me going. Yes. To me, it sounds like somebody saying, uh-huh. Like, that's what it sounds like to me. So, if you ever want to perfect your American a, the first thing I would drop is the, hmm, that's the first...

Drop the very dry. You gotta jettison that shit, like the first, the first day on the lot. But Theo, so you've got an American accent you want to do? Let's hear it. All right, what's a classic American phrase? Like, Yippie Kaya, motherfucker? Well, we do. There's not a hard hards in that one. We do say that a lot. Oh, like, oh my God, another't know how you guys took 9-11.

Oh no I think we all enjoyed it. Oh we all had a good laugh. Jesus. Oh. Andrew can you can you can you can you beat that is that is that as good as yours better what are you oh Well a classic American quote from a friend of the show there's an old saying in Tennessee. I know it's in Texas probably in Tennessee. It says, but fool me once shame on you, fool me, but you can't get fooled again. It's like I'm there again, and I was there the I was there the first time. That's incredible, those are both very passable. We don't talk about 9-11 quite as much, maybe as the first...

Not as a greeting or a salutation. Hey, what did you think about 9-11? Yeah, we don't talk about that as much as you guys talk about putting various things on the Barbie? Probably about the same fraction. I was away at the coast on the weekend and there was in some place or in there was a TV with a volume off. Oh, we were in a McDonald's when we were halfway on the road. And down there, you know, down there they're called. Miki's.

Maccas. Facchus. Fucking Maccas. Yes. Yeah, my four-year-old calls it Old McDonald's. Holy shit, my kids call him Old McDonald's too. They love it. They really, yeah, so it's the same as the song, right?

Is that your impression as well? They think it's, old McDonald-Maconnel had a they they they the they their they they their they they's the same as the song, right? Is that your impression as well? They think it's, old McDonald had a farm, they think it's the same? Yeah, then we go when I go to McDonald's, and she's like, yeah, old McDonald's, yeah, of course. They think it's the shared universe. Hmm. So, um, there was a, there was a TV, the TV, the TV, the TV, the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th of thing, you know, like today or whatever. And there was a panel of people lamenting, according to the subtitle on the screen, a panel of people lamenting like the, the sort of, the decline of barbecue usage in Australia.

Which, which they blamed on both shrinking backyard sizes and increased grocery costs and there's a whole group of people talking about it. That makes sense but but some part of it has to be that we think that that's the only way that you eat is just massive shrimps. Try shrimps like hand fruit. Yeah. Yes. Do you have a good shrimp? You do have good shrimp though right? Like you actually do like I mean all like we're not fucking around when you got good shrimp. I think if you need the coast, you know, get some big, big fresh tiger prawns all that kind of stuff. We don't actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually th, like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. ththink if you near the if you need the coast, you know, get some big big fresh tiger prawns or that kind of stuff. We don't call them shrimp. Nobody calls them shrimp. Oh nobody says that at all. No it's nobody in this fucking country calls it.

Prawn. All prawns. All prawn. Yeah, I've been to, so I've been to Thailand. So I've been to to Thailand. So I've been to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to I've to I've to I've been to I've been to I've been to I've been to to to I've been to I've been to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. So I've their. So I've their. So I've their. So I've their. So I've their. So I've their. So I've their. So I've their. So I've their. I've ti. I've ti. I've ti. I've. I've to. I've to. I've to. I've the the the the their. I've the their. I've the to Thailand. My wife is a white lady, but her family is Thai. And so we've been to Thailand. My understanding is that Australians have a bit of a bad reputation when it comes to Southeast Asia as far as like party. Oh yeah. Vacationing and stuff goes. You guys kind of cut loose out there. Real pieces of shit. Real assholes, yeah. Yeah, and it's not just the sex tourism, you know, it's also just the drunkenness. But you guys got it all, and that's why I respect you so much. But yeah, of course it's all prawns there as well. I don't know if it's a Pacific Ocean thing. Because I wonder in England do they also say prongs in England, don't they? Yeah, it's just you guys. thi th All right, well, you know what, as I get older, I start to realize it's just us. It's just us, everyone else does the normal thing. We're the weird ones, but that's fine, you know.

Yeah, look, I noticed that you've that you've casually skated away from doing an Australian accent. Yeah, I'm glad you picked up on that. I was hoping we'd leave that one in the dust on the cutting room floor. Maybe I was a little bit overzealous in explaining the anecdote. Because like I said, it really is a lack of material that I find so bothersome. I think I could imitate you well enough to get by, but coming up with my own thing to say, I think is doubly offensive and just difficult. So, you know, if you had something you want me to say, and I will note, I think that your, the accents that you guys have and Ben as well, maybe Ben in particular, is different to my ear. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I... I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I, I, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I thi, I thi, I thi, is, I thi, I th, I think, I think, I, maybe Ben in particular, is different to my ear. I don't, I don't hear it as like the very, you know, stereotypical crocodile than D-type

accent. Twangy, as well, the further, the further into the middle of the country you get, the broader that accent will be. But, um, yeah, I almost think there's an analogy to the kind of, um, like the LAL, like the, like the, like the, like the, like the, like the, like the, like the, like the, like the, like the, like the, like the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, like, the, the, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, is, is, the, is, the, is, the, is, the, the, the, the, the, the, the country you get, the broader that accent will be. But yeah, I almost think there's an analogy to the kind of like the LA, New York, right out on the coast, you get a kind of, a pretty washed out, you know, not too sharp accent. But the more rural you get, more pronounced, it'll be like a southern accent, you know? That makes sense, and as far as rural goes directionally, you would say that's more interior, right?

Yeah, more remote as well. Yeah, the further in you get from the coast. Or the further north you get into crazy races, Queensland. Because yours sounds less affected to me than Theo's does. He's just got, maybe just a higher timber to his, to his voice. So it's maybe more pronounced. Oh, do I? I didn't notice.

Oh, do I? Oh, do I? I? I feel like I've got a very, very generic accent because, I don't know if it's because I spent the first handful of years living in the states and then grew up here in like an eastern generic city. My dad is, my dad is from Queensland, but he's also, uh, extreme, uh, extreme. here in like an eastern generic city. My dad is, my dad is from Queensland,

but he's also extremely brain-powered. And my mom is from England, from Liverpool, and half her family is as well. So, real, real mixer influences that. Interesting. Well, I'm sure you'll cut out all these parts where I seem racist. I think they're the only parts they'll stay in at this stage. Again, we're going for our audience, which are hugely racist.

Yes, that's the, that'll be the promotional material. I just hope that they know that the racism is out of respect. That's all I want to, I just to the the to the to the the thu thu thu, to the the to the thu, to the their to their their their their the thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's thi's thia thi's thioluic the the the the the thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia, thia, thia, thia, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiia, thiiii promotional material. I just, I just hope that they know that the racism is out of respect. That's all I want to, I just want to have it on the record. It's out of respect, totally. I only have racist thoughts that are respectful. All of the negative stuff I get rid of. So like Asians are bad drivers. I don't think that, I don't think think think think think think that's that's that's that's that wan that wan that wan, I that wan, I that wan, I that wan't that wa that wa, I that wa, I think think that whatsoever. I think people of African descent are very sexual. That's not, that's, I wish, I wish I were more sexual.

That's a compliment in my eyes. So that's, I just want to get that out there. You guys, you guys are very strong. You're good with knives. That's what I think, that's positive. You know, that's okay. It's okay to be that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's, that's, that's, that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. that's, I. that's, I. that's, I. that's, I. that's, I. that's, that's, that's a. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a th. that's a th. th. th. th. th. thooooooooooooo. th. that's a that's a th. that's a that's a that's, I'm that's a that's, I's a that's a, you know, that's okay. It's okay to be that type of racist, right? Hmm, absolutely. Well, yes, there's no way in which something complimentary can be racist.

Good, that's what I've, that's the assumption I've been operating under these last 30 years, so I hope that that's right. Yeah, Asian people, good at math. tho, yeah, in thi's thi, that's that's that's that's that's thi, that's, thi, that's, thi, that's, that's, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, that's, that's, that's, th. that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, that's, th. th. that's, that's, th. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that. th. th. th. th. th. th. that be racist? So, yeah, in order to just prove that, they have to be bad at math. So you want to say you're stupid? Like, because I don't, you know, I don't. I don't, I take that as a compliment. Yeah, I'm trying to do your favor here.

Why are you drawing so much attention to it? Exactly right. And like I said, in all this is, and all this this this is, and all this is, and all this is, and all this is, and all this is, and all this is, and all this will this will this will this will this will this will thus, and all thus, and all thus, and all thus, and all thus, and all thus, and all thi, thi, and all thi, and all, and all, and all, and all, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is th is th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that thi, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. that's thi. thi. thi. thi, cut out of course. All right, so we are wary that we've been going for a while. What if we fire off a couple of questions to you from the mail bag? And then we'll let you go. How about that? By all means, let's open up the old letter cart. Hmm. Yes, Ben normally prints these out and posts them to me in an envelope, which has been even more time-consuming and expensive for him since he's in the States. So I thank him for doing that. Let me see, now you already kind of touched on this earlier,

but friend of the show Carl the question for Jesse how uncomfortable are you with one are gleeful and free usage of the word cunt and two saying it yourself okay so yeah I did let it fly earlier slipped one out see how it feels try it on. Yeah, and I don't know that I liked it You guys say it better than we do You guys saying it sounds more jovial to me It sounds a there's a little bit of camaraderie. I think inherent in the way that you guys say it because you'll because you'll say it to your mates but you'll also say it to somebody who really is deserving of derision right like it's both. Yeah so so whereas here I think if I ever heard it or saw it it would almost always be anatomical. So in that sense I think it is a word

exceedingly poorly deployed because and I don't want to tread over a famous American comedian Louis C.K. is hallowed ground about the word cunt which is that a vagina does not look like or act like a cunt. It's a harsh word. It doesn't make a lot of sense when applied to an actual pussy. So in the sense that an American would say cunt, it would be like, wow, I was at the water park and one of the

lifeguards bent over and her bikini moved to the side and I saw her cunt it's very worse it's awful it's awful to hear that and that's that's how you would hear it here so in that sense I would say that I'm not very comfortable hearing it or saying it, except for exemplary purposes like we just like we just explained. Or you know what? If I were in Australia, I really would. I do think I would tie one on. I think I'd fucking if I was there for a week, I'd be calling everybody cunts. I think I'd get on really well with it. I really would. I do think. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not thi thi thi. I'm not thi. I'm not very thi thi. I'm not very thi. I'm not very thi. I'm not very thi. I'm not very thi. I think I'd get on really well with it. Well, you made the money to come over, you may as well. Yeah, like, I'm gonna avail myself of the amenities, you know. Right. Yeah. But here it's not a word that makes any sense. So just if I called my friend, my friend was over.

And I said, man, you're acting like a real cunt. He would, I, even if, even if we were joking, he would say, what the fuck? Like, what are you talking about? Like, why would you say that? So it sounds really weird to an American ear. So, so in that sense, I would say I shy away from it. But, you know, it's not like the n-word, like, I'm not scared of it, it's just, I just, we just don't use it, you know, it's just not something we, do you have a, do you have a curse word that let me ask, let me answer your question with a question, do you have a curse word there that you are, that is, would be socially acceptable for you to use, you know, not like a racial epithet, but something that you just shy away from like, uh, for aesthetic purposes almost.

Hmm. I think I think content is that word. But to me but you don't say it like um in polite company like you don't even. Well no because I was going to say it's a very it's very multi purpose word here in the sense that you could say. Uh, the ruizably to, you're acting like a real cunt right now. You could also say, you know, if you were partying and someone did some wild and you'd go, oh, John, it's a mad cunt as a complimentary thing. I would say here, the context, like obviously it's not a thing that you would casually say the dinner party, but I would say here, probably similar to the state's the context in which, you'd, you'd, you, you, you, you, you, you, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, the, th, th, th, th, that, the, the, that, that, th, th, th, th, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, you, the, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the context like obviously it's not a thing that you would casually say at a dinner party but I would say here probably similar to the states the context in which it would be most unpleasant would be to to call a woman that yeah like in a in a particularly misogynist spirit in the same way that like to me

I you know I know that it's still, I know that it's still unpleasant, but I would feel a lot more comfortable telling a guy that he was acting like a bitch than I would telling a woman. Yeah, very, bitch, bitch to a guy is like funny. It's funny, it's funny to call a guy a bitch. Whereas, whereas, like, and and I completely understand that there would be that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi thi thi thi thi thi.eeat's still thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I that's still still that's still that's still that's still that's still to call a guy a bitch. Whereas like and and I completely understand that there would be people who would say Oh, well, it's it's still a shitty thing to do because as as an insult you are saying, Ha the insult is that you have the negative attributes of a woman. Yeah, but whatever come on. Yeah, but but in the same way like those are the very same reasons that like, that. I wouldn't be. I would be. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, like, like, th, th. I th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, thi th. the, th. th., yeah, but in the same way, but in the same way, like, those are the very same reasons that, like, yeah, I wouldn't be called a woman that is an insult because then you are very, very explicitly and literally doing exactly that thing. As a married man, you know that that's a nuclear word.

Yeah. Yes. Like, if you called, if you called your wife a bitch. Like, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, the the that's, that's, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the same, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. tha, tha, threat.e, tha.ooooooooooooooooooooooooom, tha.e. tha. tha. tha, wife a bitch, like that's horrible. Like that's a whole, like that's like a weekend fight, right? Like that's the whole, like you're in for the long haul if you say that one, so you got to really be sure you want to drop it before you do. You are, yeah, you've really stepped it up at that point. Yep. It's an escalator. Yes, it's safe to say that things have gotten out of hand at that point. People are in the realms of pure emotion by that point. But like, Motherfucker, do you guys, because like, I can imagine a culture in which

mother fucker is taken a lot more literally than it is here. I don't know if Australia is one of those. Yeah, not that culture. So you just, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, th. th. People, th. People, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people. People, people. People, people. People, people. People, people. People, people. People, th. People, th. People, th. People. People, th. People, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. People, th. th. People are, th. People are, th. People are, th. People are, th. People are, th. People are, th. People are, people, people, people, th. People are, those. Yeah, not that culture. So you just, the motherfucker is just like, you're just out there, you're just firing on all cylinders with motherfucker. It's not a big deal to you. Yeah, I think it's fine. I would go so far as to say, um, yeah, I can't imagine anybody here taking that literally in any sense saying, you saying I fuck mothers or I have fucked mother or someone else's mother. But like if you went to Chile or something you wouldn't be surprised right like if if you called somebody a mother fucker in Argentina and they were like, hmm, we're gonna hang you in

the town square now? Yeah, yeah, exactly. No, yeah, there's um yes different cultures very different about saying something about somebody's mother. Australia is not that country. I think Australia's fine with it. Not because you guys are all cunts down there, so it makes sense. Yeah. Oh, oh, thrown. Oh, Amy asks, friend of the show, Amy asks, if Fire Festival, remember Fire Festival?

Sure. Yeah. If Fire Festival had been set up as a kickstarter, would it have quietly gotten away with the shank? Shonk? Obviously meaning shankiness, dodgyness, not being above board. Okay, so I will say that not this whole episode has to be about the differences between, you know, angle-sized and Australian culture. Shunk, I would not have, I've never heard that in my life. That's interesting to hear. You guys don't have shunky deals over there? No, I think a lot more, a lot more of our deal-related words are racist. Unfortunately. Well, I should note that shank itself is an abbreviation of shanky, which is you would far more commonly hear shanky,

and that would just be analogous to shifty, a shifty. And even even shifty is a little bit that's that's touchy over here. Really? Yeah yeah because yeah because shifty is very closely related to like a shyster or shilock? I was just gonna say I was just going to say I can really imagine that in the states shifty would often immediately proceed a racial epithet. Yeah it's it's pretty cla-you you you have to choose your words carefully when you're talking about like getting fucked over at like a used car dealership or something so there's there's only so many words you can deploy in that sense

without sounding like a real prick. But so fire, would fire festival have gone under the radar as a Kickstarter? So I will say no because the radar is still functional at the Kickstarter scam level. It's just that when you when you attach a celebrity to a thing it's a double-edged sword right? So if the Fire Festival were a Kickstarter it would just be some

schmuck you know in his house like coming up with this idea so would that have gotten in you know the the the blogs of note? Absolutely, it would have, because it was such a boondoggle that there's no way to get away from it. But the fact that it was JARULS thing, which in a successful enterprise would lend you credibility, at the same time, it cuts both ways. That that JARUL certification also gives you a place to latch on your pincers and give it some notoriety as well. So, it's just the fact that Kickstarter is scams perpetrated by nobodies, whereas festivals are scams perpetrated by celebrities.

That's the only difference. It's just the celebrity aspect of it that makes it different, you know? Yeah, I feel like the one other differentiating factor with the fire festival was that part of the reason that's people heard so much more about it or so much more visible and also part of the reason that people heard so much more about it or so much more visible and also part of the reason people took so much pleasure in watching it's just absolutely self-employed was that it was mainly for very rich white kids. Yeah we do like beating up on those guys. That was a that was an enjoyable factor. That's, yeah, that's true.

Yeah, if it was like, if it was a, if it was a festival for like underprivileged youths in the inner city or whatever, buzzword or whatever would be popular, yeah, maybe that wouldn't be as fun of a punching bag, but, but it definitely was not that. All right, that is a good answer. We have a, look, we hear on the show big white ass heads and clearly some of our fans are too. We have a bunch of very white ass related questions. We have important mail asks, a friend of the show, important male asks, is it acceptable

to cry at one's own wedding? I'll say this. Mike did not cry at his wedding. That's something I have needled him for and it was purely imagined on my end. I was there for it. He did not shud a tear. I just think it's funny to pretend that he did. So in his defense that did not happen, however I will say that yes. I mean obviously, right? Like if you're gonna cry as a grown man, you know? Well I respected my wife and I have to cry at our wedding. I don't know how you guys you guys went tho I tho tho th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho- tho- tho-I tho-I thi tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I was th. I was th. th. th. tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-up th. th. th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi theeeean thean toean toean toean thean thean thean thean thean thi thean thi thi thi and I have to cry at our wedding. I don't know how you guys went but

I did not. I was the one person who did not cry at my wedding. I got married in the basement of a courthouse, windowless area, where a stranger performed the ceremony. Yeah, so we didn't have any pompance circumstance or whatever. If I wanted to cry though, you know what, I would have let loose. So I think that's good go for it, man. Cry all the fucking time, who cares? Yeah. Yeah. A couple of jack and off related questions. Yeah. Yeah, sure just strange. Yeah

A friend of the show Nick Cornish asks hi Jesse He's spelled Jesse wrong, which is good This is a big fan of mine. Big fan. Yeah, hi Jesse. Do you like to jack off if so why? Um, no, I don't, but I have to. It's just something you have to do as a man good. Keep the pipes clean if you're a guy and you're not jacking. If you're a guy and you're a guy, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th the the th th th th the thin, thin, thin, th, th, you're th, you're thin, the the the th, he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, he, he, he, he, he, he, he th, he th, he th, th th th th th th th th th thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the thin, the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, but I have to. It's just something you have to do as a man. Keep the pipes clean. If you're a guy and you're not jacking off, I need to know what your secret is. Because I think if you don't do it, you just go crazy. So.

Yeah, I think it's like a prerequisite for being on a watch list, I think. If you're not doing it, there has to be something else fill in that gap and it's not good. I agree with that, 100%. Yeah, you've got some other activity to get that pressure release. Yeah, that's actually pretty freaky if you don't whack off, so.

Yeah, I assume that it's, that what's getting you through is the moral support support all the other complete psychopaths on Reddit's no-fat forums. Yeah those guys are horrifying. Hmm so yeah if you're not doing it you're pretty much in that boat. All right well let's just let's just put it out here right now. So Andrew want to lead us off let us know when the last time you jacked off. When did you last get that nut out? I'm gonna say, well it is currently Monday morning here. Sure. I'm gonna say maybe Friday, which is like that's a marathon stretch for me. You've gone a whole weekend without getting that nut out? Yeah, well um, we went away on holiday, which meant that we were in a, we were just doing

activities, activities around the clock, you know, we're all tired and in bed early, and in a very small domicile at a caravan park with my children. It's just, it wasn't, wasn't a lot of time for it, man. So not, don't get, like, I'll, I'll get them in where I can't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. We, the, the, the, the. We, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, for it, man. So not, don't get, like, I'll get him in where I can. Don't get me wrong. I, you know. Not to overstep, but you're saying you didn't fuck it all on your holiday. Oh, that's not what I'm saying. Okay, all right. Yeah. Yeah.

It was a holiday, man. It's not just about jacking off. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to me. to me. to me. to me. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the tho. tho. tho. to. the to. to. the tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I. I. I. I about getting that nut out. So oh, okay. So sorry, sorry. Yes. Well in that case, I did not jack off. But I'm no longer a virgin. Okay, so you got that nut removed. That's the important thing is that you get that poison nut out of your body. So, yeah. So Theo, you know what you're up against right now. Your friend here has gotten the nut out, but has not jacked off in a few hours. So what do you have to say for yourself? Well I got the nut out last night, but I have not jacked off in a while, a week maybe, I don't throw. Whoa. the whole.

Wow. Just stretching on into eternity, really. So are you just, are you just, you're a single- th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tha, tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, thi, you, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You're a, th. You're a, th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a th. You're a thi, thi. thi. thi. you, you, you, thi. that's, thi. thi. thi. thi. the th you. Just stretching on into eternity, really. So are you just, are you just, so you're a single man, right? Is that right? No, no, I'm married. Oh, okay, sorry, but you just, you didn't say how much you respected your wife at the top of the show, so I just assumed. You were single because we all, before we got started recording, I'm thii. I respect my wife. I love her so much on a scale of one to 100. I respect my wife that much.

You didn't say anything. I think I was out of, I think I was out of the room kissing a photo of her. Okay, so you don't, so you don't like to jack off. Okay, that's fine. That's normal. I'm totally fine. I'm not dialing an 800 number right now on my phone. Not on any watch list. This guy he hates jacking off. Yeah, a stranger to his own penis. That's very, very unusual. And of course Ben's not here, but you have to assume he's jacking off.

All the time. Four times a day I'd say. Okay. Well, there is a secondary question here from friend of the show Brandon Rockwell, which was about the frequency of beating off. How often do you beat off? I feel like you've got a two for there. Yeah. Well, I'm just going to say, apart from the context of being away on holiday and that kind

of thing. In an average world, I'm going to call myself a daily, a daily guy. Yeah, I think that's, that's fair. Yeah, if there's no impediment to what I'm doing, and I'm not insanely busy or tired, you know, why not? Yeah, you're, it's a control group, right? You're adjusting for all other factors, whether it's your home sick one day? or like you said, you're real, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're a, you're a that, you're a that, you're a that, you're a that, you're a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's a that's, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a it's a control group right you're adjusting for all other factors Whether it's your home sick one day or like you said you're you're real busy or traveling or whatever You know at the end of the day. It's all going to average out you're gonna you're gonna bust one nut out a day or you're gonna feel bad Yeah, I was very under the weather a week or two ago and I had this crazy migraine that just destroyed me for like a week.

And at the end of that week I was like, I came out of this, this fog, this crazy migraine coma and I was like, wait a minute, it's been like a week, I'm like Theo, thia, thi, thia, it's my dick. Theo, can you please, can you please, I'm being honest, I'm being serious, this is 100% genuine. You don't have to put this in the show if you don't want to. Please, when we hang up, do jack off your prick and get that nut out and get that come out of your balls. So I'll see how I'll go. I got a job to get a job. Do to to to the the to the the to the to the the to the the to the to the the to the to to the the to the the to the to to the to the to to to to to th. th. th. the the the the thick. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. theck. theck. theck. theck. theck. theck. theck. theck. theck. theck. theck. theck. theck. theck. theck. theck. the out of your balls. I'll see how I go. I got a job to get to, but you do want to go with a smile on your face. Okay, so it's real early there, right? It's like it's early the morning.

It's 9.30. It's 9.30 and you're just now getting to a job. Okay. That's fine. It sounds like you're living the good to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to live to live. the the to live. to live. tooom, tooom, tooomom, tooomomomom, tooomomomomomomomomomomomom. tooomomom. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thoomorrow. thoomorrow. thoomorrow. th. tooooooooooooooomorrow. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. chance? And just put that left hand up on that glass, okay? And then just take that right hand and just whack yourself off. So that's just my tip to you. I hope you do it. Please take me seriously. This is a real issue. Yeah, self-care. It's all about self-care. Forehead on the glass, closed eyes, just get lost in the moment. Did you guys see the quick detour?

Did you see the most recent alien movie, Ridley Scott? I have not. No. Does somebody beat off in that movie? Well, no, but I will say there is a shower scene that is unfortunately interrupted by a certain extraterrestrial. So, just a little tease out there for anybody who hasn't seen the multi hundred million dollar movie by infamous director Ridley Scott. There may be some fucking in a shower that's

interrupted by a horrible monster killing the people in the shower. So just something to think about when you hit that shower later on Theo. Oh yeah. I mean I enjoy a sense of fear while I'm getting into it. that that, that's what it's the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to think about when you hit that shower later on Theo. Oh, yeah. I mean I enjoy a sense of fear while I'm getting into it. That's what it's all about, baby. Yeah, yeah, I like, that's what gets me that imminent threat. It could be a sense of danger, it could be the fear of getting caught. Yeah, any of these things. But I can't just be doing it. Yeah, for me it's big. the their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th. It's th. It's th. It's that's that's that's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. that's th. th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's to the. It's the. It's to to the. It's the. It's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's the. It's doing it. Yeah, for me it's big titties, but yeah, for you, it's fear. I mean, I think, yeah. It's all normal. I have to be, I have to be terrified right before I get that. Yeah.

Fear for my life, heart rate through the roof. Cold sweats. It's normal stuff. It's all just normal. Normal beaten off. Yep. That's what I assume it's like for most other people. That's actually. Big titties, you say.

Yeah, the titty the nipple, yeah, everything there is great. Well, if you're into the weird stuff. But I didn't just out myself, but yeah, I just like a boob. I like a boob, you know. Big tid-head. Yeah. Just getting on a Google, Googling, big boob movies. Hey, see, I click the I'm Feeling Lucky button on Google if they still have that. I just... They do, they do still have it.

I really enjoyed a, an excerpt from a, it was like a Rolling Stone interview with, so there's like an Australian boy band's like sort of pop punk group, called Five S-S-S-O-S, right? Yes, yes, there go. I'm not familiar with any of their work or anything, but I just saw this excerpt of an interview with them where they were talking about how they, they did a songwriting session with Chad Kroger of Nickelback. Sure. And they could not help but laugh at the sad picture of a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. their their thi. Yes. Yes. their thi. Yes, the number. Yes, the number. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. the number. their. their. their. their. their. Yes. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Yes. their th. the. the. the. their the. their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the number. Number the number. Number the number. Number the. Number the. Numberback. Sure. And they could not help but laugh at the sad picture of a man that Chad Kroger painted to them.

They said, you know, they broke for lunch and Chad ordered like a salad just covered in chicken tenders and sauce and then complained, oh, I'm such a piece of shit. I eat the same thing every day and it's terrible for me. And then when they were done, oh, I'm such a piece of shit. I eat the same thing every day, and it's terrible for me. And then when they were done, Chad Kroger asked these young lads, hey, do you guys ever like look at stuff on the internet? Like, what do you mean? It's like, oh, you know, like, like, sexy girls. And I said, he then punched in sexy girls dancing into YouTube.

Holy shit. And sat with these guys just watching videos of clothed girls dancing on YouTube. Yeah, and they were just like, oh, it was just some real, some real dad Googling like porno video into Google kind of shit. This reminds me a story and I'll tell it quick because I know we're trying to wrap up. But the, um, I used to do tech support, you know, I, and I, and I, and I, and I, I the the the th. And, I th. And, I th. And, I th. And, I th. And, I th. the, I the, I the, and I the, and the, and the, and th. And, and th. And, and I that, and I that, and I th. And, and sat, and sat, and sat, and sat, and sat, and sat, and sat, and sat, and sat, and sat, and sat, and sat th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, I th. And, I th. And, I th. And, I th. And, I th. And, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, I that, I that, I t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. This reminds me a story and I'll tell it quick because I know we're trying to wrap up but the um, I used to do tech support, you know, IT tech support and I went to this guy's house and he was about 95 years old and did the work and afterwards he kind of like very letcherously comes over like, do you want to see some photos I have on my computer?

And just like rifles through like, horrible tiny resolution JPEGs of like women in bikinis and stuff. I'm like, no, that's fun. I'm, I'm good. I'm good. Whatever is happening now is not going to happen. And I'm just leaving. Anything you touch my tiny supple body. Anything you had to report?

Anything you felt necessary to turn into the authorities? No, but I used to work in a computer repair store and you get them all the time. People just love bringing in their computers full of child porn. So, Jesus, good to you guys. You're far more optimistic than I. Hmm. Well, you should have just explained than I. Hmm. Well, you should have just explained to that old guy that you don't beat off, so you can't really identify what he's getting.

Yeah, it's been a whole week since you've got that come out of your balls. I don't know what flights are like, I'm thinking it's like 2,000 bucks for me to fly down there and get that nut out, but But you know if we want to crowd fund this bad boy We could really sort something out of a webcam later on. I've got your Scott details Jesse now. I don't know if you can be I don't know if you can be trusted down there. You're just letting it go for a whole week. You just build that thin. Hustin' the th. th is just, you just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just th. th. th. th. th. th. You just th. th. th. th th. th. th. th th. the the the th the the thin' their thin' thin' the the th up down there? Holy shit! Look, let's, um, let's set up a nice dick starter for Thea. And get that bad boy sorted out. I get it. All right. Well, before we let you go, Jesse, um, we understand you have a book.

You have a book that has come out. I have a real life physical book called ask the old football coach brilliantly brainless advice from the ghosts of gridiron parts did you want to throw a plug in there for the old book yes thank you absolutely go on to Amazon search my name Jesse Farrar or search ask the old football coach or for a limited time if you go on to the football coaching subcategory on Amazon you will see the old football coach, or for a limited time, if you go on to the football coaching subcategory on Amazon, you will see me there at number one on the list above luminaries such as, you know, whoever the fuck else writes these things, I'm up there. So you can, you can

check them out. It's a funny book. It's a joke book It's not an it's not a constrained narrative. It's something you can Pull up and read a page of and say oh, that's good for a laugh and then and then close the book and then you know going about your day not jacking off for seven days in a row. So it's it's really self-contained. It's a it was fun to do. I'm really thankful to have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to the the to to the the the to their to their. their. their. their. their. toe. toe. to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the the the. the the the the the the the the the the the they. te. te. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. their. their do. I'm really thankful to have the opportunity to do it and to get my jokes out there. You know it's just you know 300 or so jokes that you could see on my Twitter page for free but what we've decided to do is to put them in a hardcover book for $20 and so exchange it that way. So go give my publisher some money on Amazon or wherever books are sold because it will be in legitimate bookstores, which as I understand,

still are existing as of this recording. So check it out there, wherever books are sold. Yeah, just for a little bit. Yeah, for a little while longer. For a little while longer, you're gonna be able to go to a mall and go into a bookstore inside a mall and use your physical money to purchase an item. And I don't know how much longer that will last,

but for the time being, that is the way that our entire world is structured. So please enjoy that one you can. Yeah, it's going to get. to be able be able be able be able be able be able be able be to be to be able be able be able be. to be able be able be able be a to be able be able be able be able be able be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able that is the way that our entire world is structured. So please enjoy that one you can. Yeah, go pick itself up a nice, nice debutante dress and a book. That's right. Yeah, that's right. All righty, well, uh, and of course, you can catch Jesse on your Kickstarter Sucks, which you can find on SoundCloud and iTunes and all those things that podcasts are on. It's really not that hard to find. Don't ask me to sort it out for you. Of course I will link to it in the description of the episode and all the other places. But come

on. It's not like it's hard to find a podcast. Yeah, so ask me to do all your emotional labor for you. Unreasonable. WhyKS also has also has a th. A th. A th. A to th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. It's to to to to to to to to th. It's to th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. S. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. t. tod. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. Unreasonable. Uh, YKS also has a Patreon, so if you do love the show, as everybody on this show does, and clearly some of our listeners, you can also get a bunch of bonus material on there, just for a couple of bucks a month. Come on, man. Like a coffee. It's like a freaking Starbucks, freaking coffee, dude. Come on. Less, less than on, you know, come on. Less than one of those wild pumpkin spice motherfuckers. Oh, don't even get me started. Don't even get me started.

That's right, even less than that. And of course, we ourselves have a delightful Patreon for our sweet, beautiful, baby-faced angel patrons to support us. And you can catch us over there for some bonus episodes too if you like the show enough that you would like even more of it feel free to do that. So thanks very much for your time Jesse. This has turned into a bumper episode. This is twice as long as our normal episodes. Oh people are gonna go freaking wild for it. And it was a real pleasure speaking with you and not lapsing into my extremely racist accent.

So pleased that we were able to make it through the whole show without doing that, except maybe once earlier on, but besides that, I think we did okay, right? Yeah, yep, you said Macca's and that I think we we did okay right? Yeah, yep you said you said Maca's and that's not right. It's just the Australian way that we abbreviate absolutely everything. Good, good. I was always confused when the guys would try and put the old Australian nickname on me when I was in school. because my last name is law it is a single syllable it's three letters long and when guys are trying to abbreviate that

they would chuck the old like lawsy like make it twice as long you've you've doubled the number of letters in the name to to turn it into a nickname doesn't even work. Yeah. But we've got to do it that's what we're thi.. That's th. It's th. It's th th th th th is the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their th is th is their th is a th is a th is a thi thi thi thi is a thi thi. It is a th is a th is a th is a th is a thi is is a thi is a thi is a thi is a thi is a thi is a thi is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a their is a their is a their is a their their their their their their thi. It is a thi thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi of letters in the name to to turn it into a nickname. Doesn't even work. Yeah. But we got to do it. That's what we're nationally destined to do. Yeah. Yep. So again, thank you very much for your time. Let you go now and everybody go check out. Why, case, and buy a real book. Thanks a lot guys. I appreciate it. I wish you all the best down there with whatever the fuck is that's is is is that's is that's is that's is that's is th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. to. the. to. the. to. the. the. the. the. thi. the. thi. I wish you all the best down there with whatever the fuck it is that's going on down there. So thanks for having me on and I will catch you the next time that I release a book and I'm sure that will be any day now.

So thank you so much. I'm sure it's not time consuming at all to put out a book. Nope, just like that. Yep. Yep. All right, thanks everybody and we will catch you next week. Cheers, mate. you to be