Boonta Vista - EPISODE 178: Foursquare And Seven Years Ago

Episode Date: December 12, 2020

Andrew, Theo, and Ben talk through all the exciting things happening at Foursquare, check-in with the New Jersey man using a sonic cannon to try and kill God, and learn all about the incredible folklore of the Kyrgyz Republic. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Budavista, episode 178. I am here in Hell, struggling to figure out what to do with my hands or where to look as a group of my friends sing Happy Birthday to me for all eternity. I am the room over for me perpetually overhearing a conversation in which two people are trying to recall the title of the 1994 Steven Seagal film on Deadly Ground, but completely unable to chime in and tell them what the title is because his mouth has been sewn shut. It's Andrew. Hi Andrew.

Yeah, he's like, um, oh, so there's a, I think there's like an oil rig and he's like a... Oh, and not alone, in an adjacent room, existing normally in his own body, it's Theo. Hey, thio. Now, this hasn't actually been a big change for me. No, hell, you basically arrived and just went, oh, oh, okay. Still here. Well, figures. Okay. Do you want me to, should I... I'll just... Yeah. Yeah. And, thi. And, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, uh, and, and, uh, and, and, and, uh, and, uh, and, and, uh, uh, and, uh, uh, and, uh, uh, uh, and, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, and, uh, uh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th., figures. Okay. Do you want me to, should I, I'll just, yeah, in this, I'm sort of, and I'm sort of standing in here and there's a lot of people, there's actually quite a few other people in this room and they're just talking to each

other, and I kind of know them, but I haven't also been like properly introduced. And sometimes their body language will angle towask tooana tooananananananananananananan, and their, and their, and their, and their, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and thi, and I'm, and I'm tho, tho, tho, thi, and I'm thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. th. th. th. th. th, I th, I thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi's, thi's thi's thii's thiii's just just just just thii's thii's thii's thi. thi. thi will angle towards you as if they're including with a conversation but they'll never sort of make eye contact with you. No, no and I'm not really sure whether you know they might be in the middle of talking about something quite important, a cool story. I don't I certainly don't want to interrupt. And they're talking about something you sort of familiar with but again they seem, no they're they're sort sort sort sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort with but again they seem no they're sort of turning away slightly maybe that's yeah yeah and that you could sit down maybe but those chairs are very close to those I made I made I conno no she's shunding away she's she's actually purposefully turned away

I don't think that's good but so a couple of a thousand years of that yeah a couple of million years that basically an infinite amount of of of that that that time of that th th th th th th th th th of of th th th th th th time th time th time that that that th time that th time that thi thi that that thi that thi thi the thi thi thi the. the. the. the. the. the. I'm the. I'm their their their their their their they. they. they. they. they. they. they they they they they they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi the of the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. tho. infinite amount of time of that. Yep. Oh, I've unpicked my lips. It was his directorial debut. Oh, Michael Kane didn't want to be there. I might have, as I have many times of this podcast, confused on deadly ground with fire down below. That's reasonable. They're both environmentally themed movies. And this is definitely, we should talk about these at length for as long as possible because it it it it it it it it it it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was th, it was th, it was th, it was th. It was thi, it was thi, it was thi, it was thi, it was thi, it was thi, it was thi, it was was was thi, it was was was was thi, it was thi, it was was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was to to thi. It was to to to to thi. It was to to to to to to to to to thei. It was to to to thei. It was thi. It was thi was thi. It was thi. It was themed movies. This is definitely, we should talk about these at length for as long as possible because I know people love that. Look, I'll give you one bit of trivia. Yeah. One bit of trivia from On Deadly Ground, Seagal's directorial debut in which he kills Michael

Kane at the head of an oil company. Michael Kane doing the Australian-ish accent sort of kind of. He's doing an American accent for for for thx for thx for thx for then then then the a thacerex acaaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. the a the head of an oil company. Michael Kane doing the Australian-ish accent sort of, kind of? He's doing an American accent for around 50% of the film. He loves to give it a bit of a try. He, and he just drops straight into Michael Kane for whole portions of it, where he clearly is just not interested in what's happening at all. I mean, for his whole life, he has been hired to do the Michael Kane voice. So you can understand that it it it it that it that it that it thi thi thi thi thi the thi the the thi the thi the thi, um thi, um thi, um thi, um, um, um, um, um, um, th. th. their, th. th. thi, so, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the th. the the the the the, the, the, the the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea. the thee. the the the. th for his whole life he has been hired to do the Michael Cain voice, so you can understand that it might be difficult for him to sort of branch out of that.

So there's a big speech at the end of this where like Stephen Scald's character, Forrest Taft goes to give a big speech about oil companies and air pollution and stuff to some UN-like body. Apparently, he filmed almost 40 minutes of footage for the environmental message at the end of the movie and planned to use it all in the final cut. After pressure from Warner Brothers and a disastrous preview screening where audience members

booed, laughed, and made obscene gestures for the entire sequence. So I'll cut the final scene down to about seven minutes. So this is kind of like, uh, in that's... Seven minutes is still so long. In Atlas Shrugged, how there is a 90-page monologue from one of the characters, continuous unbroken, 90-page speech delivered. Except she didn't cut it. It's still in there.

That is exactly what a libertarian dreams of, though. So I think we can say pretty conclusively, and I don't know if this was in debate beforehand or not, that Stephen Seagal is a better artist than Einrand. Yeah, I think so. You could probably like do one of those judo flips on her as well. I can't imagine it. Like because Seagal, like clearly by watching his movies and clearly by reputation he also like he works really stiff with stuntmen like he hits people really hard.

Yeah, yeah, no, he sucks big time. When like, I don't know, I don't know if he knows this, but you don't actually have to do that for the movie. Like, it's part of the magic of film. But now I'm picturing him just doing like an Ikedo clothesline to Iron, just smashing her through the floor. Yep. Putting her all the way th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. Yeah, putting her all the way through her like stack of manuscripts. I'm picturing him like fighting his way into hell just to do one powerful Juno move on her,

and then climbing straight back out. Her hell is that she's trying to recite the 90-minute the 90-page model. Or it's just her friends and relatives asking for help moving. Yeah. I was like, no, no, I, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the 90 minute, the 90 page model. Or it's just her friends and relatives asking for help moving. I was like, no, I don't know you anything. She's stuck in an American, oh sorry, stuck in the waiting rhythm of an Australian ER as people kind of come out of the ER and just say like, oh yeah, no, I'm all done. And they're like, that's thee. the state is tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thi thi thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thia. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theea. thea. It's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the done and they're like cool that's no charge. Do I need to fix anything up? No, you're okay.

The state has taken care of you. She's just screaming. No! Doing the Darth Vader, no. Oh, so since we are in hell, somebody has prepared for us specifically a presentation, which is the kind of thing you would be shown in hell, I think. Ben found this and sent it to me specifically to upset me. Yep, that's true. And it worked really well, to be honest. This is from Four Square, a company that nobody understands. Like, so my, the last time I thought about Four Square was, their original

thing was that you could sort of check into places and you ranked up. You'd be like I am the mayor of the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. the th. th. the th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. And it's thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. And it's thi. Yeah, thi, thi, and it's thi, and it's thi, and it's specifically to me to to to to to thi. Yeah, and it thi. And it thi. And it thi. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. Yeah. Yeah. And th. Yeah. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin, thi. thi's thi's kind thin, thi's kind thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th original thing was that you could sort of check into places and you ranked up you'd be like I am the mayor of this coffee club because I go there three times a day and I check in every time. Wait are you are you ranking up by checking into the same place repeatedly or are you ranking up by checking into lots of different places so some combination of the two? It competitively ranked regulars going to the same spots over and over again. Fuck. So yeah, you would be like, well, this is my coffee club. There's a guy who's trying to get better at it than me, but I come in here one extra time

a day to pay $25 for a sandwich just to spite him. I'm the world leader in visiting the Dubbo McCaffay. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so yeah, like it also seems of course like a concept that, like a lot of things, thanks to the monopolistic behavior of companies like Facebook and Instagram and stuff has just become entirely redundant. Like it was it was the sort of, if I'm remembering correctly, the original kind of location based service where you checked in and could say I was At this place. Yeah, and now every social media service. Yeah, and then Facebook's like oh, yeah, we'll just do that as well What if we have a thing to even say also you're at a place oh yep there there you're at a place oh yep there. So you can just tag yourself in there? So this is a post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. their th. their their thin. their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. the th. I th. th. I th. I th. th. I th. I Yep, so you can just tag yourself in there. So this is a post from Foursquare on the Foursquare website. And this is about their new brand. And this is a subject that is near and dear to my heart, having worked for many years in graphic design

and web design and worked at creative agencies and stuff like that and also worked at companies that had creative agencies pitching brands to them. And it is a truly sole rending process. Now you, I think someone said just a bit ago that we're not really sure what it is that Four Square does. But I think, perhaps this will all become clear. Okay maybe they'll spell it out. It very well explained whatever this is. Shall I, shall I

take us through the post? A new look and feel introducing four square everywhere. Rhymes, that's a great start. A word from Dennis. You know, you guys, you're familiar with Dennis, right? The famous Dennis four square. That's good. Classic Dennis. No one, there cannot be like any billionaires named Dennis, right? God, I hope not. You know how like, uh,

Pornhub, Pornhub has a bunch of Twitter accounts that are like, Pornhub and then a person's name? Yeah, Dennis. This is... Pornhub Dennis. Pornhub Dennis. When we started Four Square over a decade ago, we never imagined the incredible

evolution we'd undergo as a company. What started as the check-in app, which is, I believe, the only thing we understand it to me, quickly outgrew the confines of even our most ambitious expectations, evolving into what's seen today as the unapologetic leader in location technology. I refuse to apologize for being the leader in location technology. I refuse to apologize for being the leader in location technology. A lesser man would run a company where he was constantly grumbling before people. I am so sorry for being the leader in location technology. You know how we're sick of companies can, you know, just constantly apologizing for

being the leader in location technology? If there's one thing too many companies are doing, it's apologizing for being the leader in location technology. If there's one thing too many companies are doing, it's apologizing for... Forsware aren't afraid to take up space. They are valid. Our data tells stories. Our data tells stories. No, it doesn't. It does not. Our data tells stories about how people move through the world. No, you know what tells stories about how people move through the world.

No, you know what tells stories about... You're tracking them in their pockets. That's the story. My Google Maps data sells a story about how I move through the drive-in at the Mount Gravac-Cappellabar Road McDonald's. What was the last time you went through that drive in? Oh, probably four days ago or something like that, that, that that McRib? Yeah, I like a nuggie. I don't think I'm ever going to... I'm not a McRib boy.

I've never had a McRib. I can't imagine myself eating a Mick rib. I'm imagining it right now. I've loved it. You wearing a little bibb. Got a little knife and fork. Boy, bought your own to the restaurant. Bought out a fancy plate to put it on. You're telling everyone that walks past that this is a treat because you're a good boy.

Since day one, our focus has been on inventing the future of what's possible with location technology. Awesome. Can I just inventing the future of what's possible with location technology, which we are not apologizing for being the leader of. Yeah. I think we've all got a pretty clear picture of what they do. So far, so good. Today, our data and technology enable new mobile experiences across thousands of apps. Improve advertising and marketing through a deeper understanding of people and places and

all of their data that we sell, and help to shape the stories our customers and partners tell about their own brands. Customers love telling stories about their own brands. What the fuck is wrong with people? Someone wrote this. Dennis, Dennis wrote this and he looked in it he went, yep, this sounds true. Someone didn't just write this, somebody was paid to write this and I think that's an important distinction. Dennis you have an advertising API. What's more? Our data and technology are helping to make the world a better, safer

place. They've said that very conclusively. Sore for good, capitalized, indicating that some kind of charity arm, has contributed to numerous important projects over the years, including finding ways to make our foot traffic data accessible to those helping to contain the pandemic. We see no limits to the ways location to the way location to the the location technology can be put to contain the pandemic. We see no limits to the ways location technology can be put to work, and we are also not apologizing for being the leader of it. There has been no shortage of challenges and growing pains along the road. We've seen colleagues come and go, braced ourselves through periods of fluctuating success.

Mm-hmm. What's a cold when your success fluctuates way down on the graph? They're sort of implying that things have gone up and down, but only within the bounds of success. So sometimes we've succeeded more, sometimes we've succeeded less, but we've never not been succeeding. It's a great bit to make a chart,

and one axis is just success. Like success is down but you know we still still doing 30 points of success. We've expanded by bringing placed and factual under the four square umbrella. It's really hard to imagine how we would live our lives without those. Yeah. Those apps. Services? Services? Apies? Services? Appies. Clugs? Compuins? Through it all. Yeah, those apps, services, modules, services, APIs, could be anything. Plugins? Through it all, we've never wavered in our efforts to protect consumer privacy while paving a path forward for our business and our industry, and we've continually delivered delightful

experiences for both our enterprise customers and consumer app. Delightful. No one has been delighted by anything Four Square has done ever. You know the only thing that like delivers a delightful experience is those hand jobs, those little packs of cards that have the nudies on the back of them. A cup that kind of the, it starts off black and when you put coffee in there, dissolves to show a picture, perhaps of a joke or of a cat or something like that. Those are all delightful experience, or perhaps a nude lady.

You know what else? Those pens where you turn the pen upside down? The lady's clothes fall off. That right, that is the original consumer delight experience. You turn the pen upside down and where is it a close? It's a pet of a clothed lady. Well hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on here? Wait a damn second. I believe that's what led to the development of those bars you can put up in a doorway in the boots you can hang yourself upside down you know. For up to a down pen viewing experience.

Well, she's only naked. She's only naked when the pen's upside down. So you want to see it. Do the right side up. Yeah. I want to see your brain slowly fills with luck. I'm about to pass out. I wonder how do you that count as auto

erotic exositiation. How do you think jacking off goes... Brain oxygen deprivation? How do you think jacking off goes if you're upside down and like your heart's trying to work the blood up there, you know? Well, you'd have to be careful with your aim, unless... I think you've got a few concerns. Yeah. If you've ever done the Michael Keaton Batman upside down sleep and also jacked off, let us know how that went for you. Only to a nudie pen though, I don't want to hear about it if it's to any school.

Wait, if you're like holding your laptop. That's how Mike Pence burst that blood vessel in his eyeball. Good on for giving you ato go honestly. Oh boy. Consumer delight. Delivering delightful experiences for enterprise customers. I'll tell you right now none of your enterprise customers have ever been delighted by anything you've done. And also I was at a conference a week or two ago, virtually of course.

And there was like an experience design thing and this guy was talking about how the language of course. And there was like an experience design thing and this guy was talking about how the language of designing, trying to design like customer delight because that's been the the phrase for a while. And it sucks it sucks and he was like everybody stopped saying that now. But part of part of the part of this dude's presentation was about like designing for emotion, right? And, um, but he was specifically going into things like, hey, you know, redesigning part of the process in America for like submitting your taxes. And if you get to the part where it's like do you still have a partner and you have to say no they died?

That you that you put something in that says hey sorry sorry we're sorry about your dead husband we can just skip over that step. You know, and that kind of thing is meaningful to people. It's not just going, hey, what if we had a nice, a nice give of a thumbs-up when you hit the button that allows us to track your every moment. And also we, we can tell which restaurants you shat in by... Linking in the toilets for a very long time....... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, that. And, that. And, that. And, that, that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. And, that. And, that. And, that. And, that. that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thatell which restaurants you shat in by looking at the toilets for a very long time yeah oh his altitude just went down by 40 centimeters been there for five minutes we can tell from his patterns of movement in his house that that is the average time when you've been through as much growth and changes we've been through, it doesn't come

to change than growth, I would say. Well, doesn't come as a surprise that your brand, your identity as a company and culture, both internally and externally, must also evolve. Of course rebranding is no easy feat. There's so much to consider. What story do you want the new brand to say about your company? What elements of the past do you want to preserve? And when is the right time to undergo such a massive undertaking? Finding the answers to these questions, and so many more,

took months, and I'm assuming a lot of money. But here's a quick pass at the story of how we went from the check-in app, end quote, to where I feel we should be. An enterprise brand with swagger. When I think of four square, I think of nothing but pure, unbridled, cock swinging cool. We didn't wake up one day and realize we were no longer a solely a consumer brand. In fact, our expansion into B2B and SAS was strategic and intentional.

But still, it hasn't always been easy to reconcile our consumer brand heritage with our accelerating success in the enterprise space. I hate these people so much. I just have nothing but contempt for anyone that's even peripherally involved with anything like this. I wish I didn't know what all of this meant. Yeah, sorry, what I meant to say is I have contempt for you. I know. We needed a brand identity that paid homage to our heritage while simultaneously underscoring our credibility and instilling trust with both businesses and consumers.

So you've gone the homage there. Yeah. It's an American guy named Dennis. He's not saying. That That's true. Yes, who we are as a company has been reshaping for years, but about a year and a half ago we made a monumental move that set our company on a fast track to become the undisputed leading independent location data company in the world. Cool. Then they did some acquisitions and some mergers and stuff. Recognizing that you have a bit of an identity crisis in the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th is thi thi. thi. thi. Yes thi. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes is thi. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Who is th. Who is th. Who is th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Who is th. Yes. Who is th. Who is th. Who is th. Who is th. Who is th. Who is th. Who is th. Who is th. Who is th. Who is th. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. th. th. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who.itions and some mergers and stuff. Recognizing that you have a bit of an identity crisis on your hand is one thing.

Figuring out the way to solve the problem is a journey in and of itself. After many internal brainstorms and well-intentioned debates. To me that implies that the debates got ugly. Yeah. This is Dennis working through some stuff here. Yep. Several people left. There was some very, very very th th identity through some stuff here of like, yep. Several people left. There were some very, very deeply personal things that were said.

They were well-intentioned, Cherise. Yep. So brand is swanky, not swaggery, you cunt. After many meetings with the experts over at PlayLab Incorporated. These fucks. Play Lab Incorporated is like the name of the company from the movie Toys, I assume. Yes, very much. You get in the lobby, you sit down at a little raw timber desk, and it's got little, like, the little ABC blocks that babies play with.

And the receptionist kind of comes over and says, oh, we like to integrate play into our work here at PlayLab Incorporated. The ABC does stand for always be closing. So after many meetings with the experts over at fucking PlayLab Incorporated, we came to four conclusions. Our new brand identity needed to capture the trademark playfulness that has always been... You're a brand. You exist to make money! Four Square. Just fucking... The trademark playfulness that has always been synonymous with the fucking

check-in app. The chicken app. You're not NeoPets. At the same time, the new brand identity must let clients know that they can trust us while simultaneously being culturally contemporary and interesting. The brand identity must set a tone of independence and empathy. What does that mean? I don't need a four square to be empathic while it's tracking my movements. I'm not swilling this brand identity in my mouth around like a fine whine. It says tones of independence and empathy. So, um, and then finally this new brand identity was going to be cool. It needed to be executed in the right way. So let's just run back over that for th. I I th. I that for that for that for that for that for that for that for that for that for the th th the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to be to be to be to be to be. I don't the the the to need need need need to be. I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't need need need need need need need need need need the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I the th. I don't need th. I don't need th. I don't need the. I don't need the. I don't need ne ne need. I don't need need. I don't need need. I don't need need to need to need to need to need the. I don't need the the th and then finally this new brand identity was going to be cool.

It needed to be executed in the right way. So let's just run back over that for a second. This new branding has to capture trademark playfulness and and let clients know that they are trustworthy and be culturally contemporary and interesting, while having a tone of independence and empathy and also being very cool. You know how you look at brands and you think, ah, they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've th, thi. thi. thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. thi. So, so the. So, so the. So, so the. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the cool. You know how you look at brands and you think, ah, they've really nailed the eight attributes they were going for? Fucking ridiculous.

Yeah, this is so fucking stupid. Introducing, four square everywhere. After months of intense work we arrived at a brand identity that we feel perfectly encapsulates who we are and where we are headed. The end result is a paired back look that in its simplicity actually feels quite bold. Intentionally minimal in aesthetics it's designed to scale as the company grows. The artifacts of Foursquare's previous life needed to be left behind. The colors, the typography, the logo, photography and art direction, move past where Foursquare was and show the public where we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we the public the public the public the public the public the public the public the public the public the public the public where we are the public where we are the public where we are the public the public where we are the public the public the public the photography and art direction moved past where four square was and show the public where we're going next. Contemporary,

adaptive, credible. This brand identity is timeless yet contemporary. It's credible and independent, stands out from the crowd with authority and swagger. We present to you our new brand identity, which I will sum up to the people listening as the word four square written in uppercase in a sans serif font. And not even like a nice, sad seraph font. It's nothing. It's just... They...

Okay, so what they had to do, this is coming from a professional perspective, somebody wrote out four square with caps lock on with Google Sands, maybe HellVetica. And they went, wow, that's cool. Also, that font is free and available to everyone else in the world. So they went and picked a licenseable paid-for version of a sans serif font that was as close to Google Sands as they could possibly get so that they could say we are using a specific typeface that is part of our brand. How many hundreds of thousands of dollars do you reckon they spent? I would say for a company like this that has done a bunch of mergers and acquisitions and shit like that. I would guess, personally,

I would say like $100,000 to $300,000. Yeah. Awesome. The font, by the way, is authentic sands. A desktop license costs you $100. Which is probably in the upper kind of echelons for a single font. Right. If you Google, authentic Sans, the first thing Google tries to auto-complete is authentic

Sanskrit tattoos. Huh. Might just be yours. Might just be mine. Wait a second, this guy smokes weed. It learns some stuff. It learns some stuff from you over time. But I think if you were to look up authentic Sands and Google Sands and Helvetica and then

type out the word four square in all of them in all caps, I think you would be relatively hard-pressed to find any difference between them except for maybe the Q, like maybe the Q's slightly different, you know. And that's certainly worth the $300,000. I really do urge people if you have the time, just like Google, 4 Square new brand or whatever, see if you can find this post. I believe they've updated their new website, so if you just go to 4 Square.com, it will show you.

And it looks like, Theo, you would have been dealing a lot with this, but like the default sort of like bootstrap or whatever where they show you what a website can look like. Yeah, just using their grid layout but with no style applied to it? That's what this looks like. 100%. It's, yeah, for me, it's, and there's another font that they've like paired it with for the body copy and stuff like that. Oh, the body text looks fucking awful But yeah, so so basically this whole thing is that they have Taken a generic sans-ser of fonts and then like a generic Like that sort of code looking font like American typewriter and that's it that one color And they've paid a shitload of money for it, and it looks like Vice Magazine in 2006.

And nothing says contemporary and trustworthy, like Vice Magazine in 2006. You know what was most trustworthy publications, one of the world's most current times 14 years ago. God damn, absolutely. Probably the 14th most current times 14 years ago. God damn. Absolutely. The 14th most current year. That would say.

Just infuriating. Infuriating stuff. Are you tired of paying nothing for the same old superior quality free episodes of the Buntavista podcast? Do you want less politics and more content about diarrhea, our animals gone wild? You're tired of skipping through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg's film shooter? Well, boy, do I have the offer of a lifetime for you. That's right, for just five US dollars a month, you too can be a premium VIP member

of the Buntavista Patreon. That's right, just five US dollars for all of our bonus episodes. That's over 300 hours of content from the hosts you know and definitely tolerate. I'll even throw in access to our glamorous and exclusive discord server, where bizarre arguments only happen once or twice a week at most. Head to Patreon.com slash Buntavista. Sign up in the next five minutes and I won't know because that's not my job. But you'll be enjoying the sweet satisfaction of supporting us and we will love you romantically for it. That's my promise to you. Uh, hey, this next segment, are we gonna, are we, is this, is this like a follow-up to a previous omens and port hints?

I don't know if we ever discussed in the first place. Okay. No, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we've, we've, we, we've, we've th. We, we've, we've th. We, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, th. We, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th.. We, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th........................................................................................................................................................................... we ever discussed in the first place. Oh okay. No, we've certainly we we covered a different mystery sound. We do love those. Long ago on that was on the episode Jim's Wet Dome. I think any weird sounds we're up for. Love to hear. Should have some sort of weird sound corner. And I'm not talking about the entire podcast. Huh. A bit hurtful. This is from the New York Post. Ben would you like to lay this one on us?

I certainly would. The headline here is Mystery of Booming Sound in New Jersey apparently solved. The mysterious... It was Tony Soprano. Hmm. No, I don't think that's true. The mysterious booming sound that's been rocking in New Jersey town is apparently a result of a homemade, quote, hail cannon, designed by a vineyard owner to protect his crop from

bad weather. He and police told the post. Rob Butkowski, of Hamminton, said he's he's the the the the the the theld the post. Rob Butkowski, that is, Butkowski of Hammonton, said he's been firing off the sonically loud cone-shaped contraption. You can just say loud. You can just say loud. Yeah, yeah, we don't think it's like his style or something. Also it's it's visibly loud contraption. So it's loud. It's loud in a sound bad party shirt. It's loud in a sound sense. Okay. It's a loud, sort of a sound kind of loudness.

The sonically loud cone-shaped contraption which blasts shockwaves up to the sky to break up cloud formations and scare away birds that nibble his grapes. Hey, these birds are frigid nibbling by grapes. And also I want those clouds to fuck off. Just shoot the birds and be done with it you know. Geez. Seems like overkill that's what I'm saying. It sounds like a jet going by says Butkowski 34. It's like the loudest thing you've ever heard just blew through thing that he built. Holy shit, this thing is so loud. He is stunned by it. This kicks us.

But Kowski, who works construction, said he made the 16-foot-long machine, quote, from scratch, using scrap metal from street sides and other objects because he was, quote, born from all this COVID shit. Using directions he found online, he rigged a mixture of acetylene and oxygen in a propane tag to create an explosion that blasts from the barrel to keep icy weather at bay. For weeks, he's been firing off the thunderous shockwaves. Does it work?

I don't know. My gut feeling is no, but I am not a meteorologist. They're not saying that it doesn't work. No one has pointed this out of the article no. For weeks he's been firing off the thunderous shock waves which travel 30,000 feet in a 1.5 mile radius above his 5. Yeah, I'm not really sure how that... So I think what they're trying to say is it, it it it, it, it, it, it, it, but it is, but it is, but it is, it is, but it is, it is, th, th, th, th, th, but thi, but thi, but thi, but thi, but thi, but thi, but thi, but thi, but thi, but thi, but I thi, but I thi, but I thi, but I th, but I th, but I th, but I th, but I th, but I th, but I th, but I th, but I th, but I th, but I th, but I th, but I th, but I th, but I th is th is th is th is th is th is thi, but thi, but thi, but thi, but thi, but thi is thi is thi is thi is not thi is not thi is not thi is not thi is not thi is not thi is not thi is not thi is not thi is not thi is not thi is not thi is not thi is thi thi 30,000 feet in a 1.5 mile radius above his 5-acre point he said. I'm not really sure how that... So I think what they're trying to say is it goes 30,000 feet up within a 1.5 mile radius, which also doesn't make sense because they're describing a cylinder,

which is not really how waves would dissipate. Yeah, I think they've just done a bad job describing that. You can see the split, you can see the split clouds apart? Okay. You can see the split clouds apart, he said. You can hear it rip. It's very confusingly written article. You can hear the clouds rip or... You can hear the clouds rip or... You can hear it rip. You know that, you know that, you know that hear that doesn't see bright you can hear it rip you know that you know that classic tearing sound a cloud makes well those clouds

are ripping enough how into windy day in this the skies are full of the sounds of tearing clouds this is all very strange uh Hamilton police chief Kevin Freel said the cannon is responsible for the mystery boom that is baffled and frustrated nearby residents many of whom have reported the sound to the local cops. the the the sound the sound the sound the sound the sound the the sound the sound the sound the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeea theeea theea theeeea the the the the the the the cannon is responsible for the mystery boom that is baffled and frustrated nearby residents, many of whom have reported the sound to local cops. So sorry, you know the last time we talked about this, there was a mystery sound and they kept ringing into the police all the time and they're like, you know we've checked it out, we've looked at all this like every new reports in the same place. Strangely, the the the the they. they. they. they. this, like every new report's in the same place.

Strangely, every report from this is in a 1.5 mile radius around this guy's house. And then they go to this guy's house, he's like, yeah, that's my loud cannon. It's friggin' amazing. That's my cloud blaster. It's really loud, I'm shocked every time it goes off. You're talking about the explosion the explosion the explosion the explosion the explosion the explosion the explosion the explosion the explosion the explosion the explosion the explosion the explosion the explosion the explosion goes on. You talking about the explosion machine? Yeah, that's it. But the gadget is likely perfectly legal.

It's perfectly legal. It doesn't fire projectiles and it's not a firearm or an explosive, Freel said, adding there are no plans to stop him. It uses gas and that's it. We can't possibly stop this man. It's gas. Gas is not a crime from firing off his god-killer cannon. Every day he points at heavenwards and he attempts to murder God and we cannot stop him from doing this because he's an American and this is still America. The only possible legal issue would be a noise violation after 10 p-m, stop him from doing this because he's an American and this is still America. The only possible legal issue would be a noise violation after 10 p.m. which is moot because Botkowski stops using the machine around 8 p.m.

It's still quite late in the day to keep using your godkiller. Like trying to put your baby to sleep. Sorry sir, there's nothing we can do. It's 7.59. Shaking all the mortar out between your pricks Sorry, sir, there's nothing we can do. It's 759. Shaking all the mortar out between your pricks. The police said nearby Mullica Township, where cops were flooded with complaints about the noise, a skeptical that the contraption could be heard from 10 miles away. Well, the police chief, Brian Zeck, said the boom may be coming from multiple sources. We're looking into Butkowski and we're looking into all other possibilities, he said.

Butkowski for his part has no plans to stop firing the cannon, he said. I'm gonna do whatever I want as long as it's legal, he said. Meanwhile, neighbors are praying his boomer gets busted. Every time it goes off, I think there's been an accident, said Sean Gavara, a 43-year-old mom who lives next door. Quote, it scares the poop out of us. This is just such a beautiful tale of freedom, of free enterprise of human ingenuity, and who fuck knows whether it works or not. Now Andrew, I have, there is a video at the

bottom of that article, are you, do you be so's good to go. And three. Ah, f- Feeh. All the All right. And three. All.

All. And three, two, one. thrown. Yeah, that was a little too much. Yeah, that was a little too much. Holy f- I'm not surprised they could hear that 10 miles away. That sounded like some sort of alien craft punching through the atmosphere. That's, uh, that is extremely disconcerting.

My goodness. Imagine just being out for like an afternoon walk and just hearing that in the distance to just be like, oh great, I'm going to get home and civilization will have collapsed. Fantastic. I'm just really imagining, um, I'm really imagining like what all of the local birds look like, you know, like half their feathers fall in out. Just fucking so haggard. Extremely, yeah, extremely upset all the time. Oh my goodness. Speaking of things that scare the shit out of you and ruin your sleep, it's time for a bit of a update of Kyrgyzstan Watch.

Now what we need is a cover of that sting with traditional Eastern European musical instruments. Okay. So if you play any traditional Eastern European musical instruments. Okay. So if you play any traditional Eastern European musical instruments, perhaps a balalaika? Couldn't tell you. Those are the gigantic Eastern European guitars. If you play one of those gigantic Eastern European guitars, the balalaika. Please cover that sting for us and set it in, we will not pay you. Hmm. Two we should put on Fiverer again. I think we should put on Fiver again. Again?

Have we put something on Fiver before? Friend of the show, Alex, got someone on Fiver to make the worst scar cover of the Buntavista theme tune? It's very bad. It's very bad. Well, we'll put that up on fire room, we'll see how guys. I want to have any Balalaika players there are on there. So, um, we were talking about Kyrgyz then a little while ago, due to our skyrocketing numbers

in that wonderful country. And we got an email from listener Aubrey, who said, my girlfriend is Kyrgyz, and I recommended to her the other thia thoom thoom Father's Day. That's an episode of this show, because I'm trying to acclimatize her to our beautiful Australian culture. She did it on her iPhone, so she might be your Kyrgyz listener. She's not in Kyrgyz, but she's here with me in Ukraine. Maybe it showed up from some sort of earlier registration or something. This was followed up by another message that said, yep, we checked and it's her. Her Apple idea is still linked to a Kyrgyz bank card. Please meet your loyal Kyrgyz fan base, Bermett. So like, what do you reckon the podcast market is like in the Kogge Republic that one person subscribing to the podcast

puts us at number four in the news category? Well, it's a theory at this point. You know, could be hundreds of thousands of people. I don't want to... Could well be. Yeah. She can tell you whatever facts you need to know about Kyrgyzstan. For example, you might be familiar with the rise of Sadir Jappor ofbastie, the sleep paralysis monster, who recently got a sexy makeover? Now I was not familiar with Albastie, the sleep paralysis monster, so I immediately went

and just spent hours reading about Albastie and various sleep paralysis folklore demons. So I thought I might give us a little a little primer on Albasti if that's okay. Albasti or Alcadai is an ancient female spirit, the personification of guilt found in folklore throughout the Caucasus mountains with origins going as far back as Sumerian mythology. See that's so interesting because over here the personification of guilt is Theo. And that goes back at least 30-something years. Decades, decades.

So in Sumerian folk war, a variation of the Albastie myth stretches back to Sumerian times as one of the names given to Lilith, the Talmuddic first wife of Adam, cast out of paradise for her willfulness and independence. Ah, the worst qualities a woman can have. Demonic. In Turkic folklore, Albasti has often been confused as both a mare, a succubus, as well as any number of Middle Eastern female spirits which are told to enter a man's erotic dreams. However, the difference in the Albasti legends is that she is not a sexual spirit, rather that she visits those who have guilty souls and come from... What's the difference? Come from families that have committed bloody crimes that have gone unpunished.

Like Jackingoff, I see. In Armenian folklore, there is a further version of Al, referred to simply as Al, a demon of childbirth who blinds, unned, to th, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their their their to their to their to to to to to Al-Bastie referred to simply as Al, a demon of childbirth who blinds unborn children and causes miscarriages and stillbirths to women who have committed crimes that have gone unpunished. I should have called it weird owl, because that's a pretty weird thing to do. In this form she appears as a spirit of flame with snake-like hair, brass fingernails and iron teeth. She hides in damp places. She lives in Ben's cup-oves. Don't know what you're implying, but fuck off. So this is a very, very commonly known folk law tale, right, throughout Kyrgyzstan and other parts of the Caucasus and stuff like that. So like they're Santa Claus.

So in 20... Bring young children across the land. The bag of human teeth down the... Every year. So this, this is one of a long line of like cryptids, folklore demons and stuff like that that are all basically variations of an explanation for sleep paralysis. Right? We're all familiar with the concept of sleep paralysis, I'm sure. It's pretty fucked that we have a thing that sort of bakes into our brain the concept of a demon that's trying to suffocate you. It's pretty wild. Well, because there's the whole thing as well that apparently one of the common, one of the common things that happens with sleep paralysis, right? So for anybody who is not familiar with it, it is basically where your brain starts to wake up from out of deep sleep.

But all of your motor sensors and skills and stuff don't come back online, basically. So you become conscious, but kind of half asleep and you can't move any of your body. But also, because you are simultaneously conscious and still in a bit of a residual dream state, you also see things that are not actually happening. And one of the most common ones that people see is a, like, dark figure standing nearby, often like in the corner of the room, or purchase a the most common ones that people see is a like dark figure standing nearby, often like in the corner of the room or perched up high or something, watching over them in a freaky-deaky way. And understandably people don't really care for it. There was a whole documentary about it. I'm trying to remember the name of it.

Oh hell. Whole, whole documentary about people the different thingrying to remember the name of it. Oh hell. A whole documentary about people talking about like the the different things that they have seen while suffering sleep paralysis and that sort of stuff. So yeah like it's a thing that has been happening forever apparently and in lots of different countries they came up with different explanations for this thing what was happening to people. And in Kyrgyz it's the the different things the different the different the different the different the different things the different things things things the different things things things things things things things the different things things things things the different things things things things the different things the different things things the different things the different things the different things the different things things the different things the different things the different things the different things the different the different the different things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things th th th th th the different things things things things things th the different their the different their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. things things things things things things thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the different different different different things the different came up with different explanations for this thing what was happening to people.

And in Kyrgyzstan, it's Albasti. And in 2017, a pair of filmmakers decided to make a horror film about two Kyrgyzstany people who start to be visited by Albasti. So this is from Eurasia.net. My favorite website. This was sent to me by Aubrey. A recently released minute-long music video promoting an upcoming movie in Kyrgyzstan has provoked a swell of indignation about a perceived surge of impropriety among young

women. The controversy is but the latest episode in a simmering public debate over conservative and progressive values. In the clip, a musical promo intended to to this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this is this is this is this is this is. This is. This is. This is. This isa. This isa. This isa. This isa. This isa. This isa. This isa. This isa. This isa. This isa. This isa. This is. This is. This is. This is a th. This is a the but the latest episode in a simmering public debate over conservative and progressive values. In the clip, a musical promo intended to generate chatter ahead of the release of Albasti, a horror movie hitting the big screen on June 1. Three young women sing in sultry anticipation of being visited by a boogie man, the Albastie, the title character of the movie. So it's sort of like a monster mash type song. It really is. The guy is 100%. The person. The person. The person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person who the person who the person who the person who the the the the th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The thi. A thi. The thi. A thi. A music thi. A musical th. A musical. A musical, a musical, a musical th. A musical th. A musical th. A musical th. A musical th. A musical th. A musical th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A thi. A music thi. A thi. thi. thi. Music thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. the movie. So it's sort of like a monster mesh type song. It really is. The guy is 100%. The person who's playing Al Bastie in this video clip,

he's a hundred percent. He's dressed head toe in black and his head is all covered in black but he's doing the dance of, you know the animated gif of the Halloween guy who's all dressed in black and has a jack-o'-lantern on his head? Mm-hmm. He's doing that dance, pretty much the whole time. So three young women sing in sultry anticipation. While the movie is serious and dramatic in tone, the creators of the promo teaser

opted for something more light-hearted. According to Kerger's storytelling tradition, Albastie and mysterious and malevolent being comes a visiting while victims are sleeping and strangles them. But the singers in the promo clip turn the idea on its head, adding a sly implication of sexual mischief. Can I just, you know, just, hold the phrase sly implication in mind before hearing the following words. Okay, so here's some of the lyrics. Every night I lie in bed with my clothes off. He comes and I pretend not to see him. He crawls on top of me all over me and that is when it all begins. First Albasti plays with me and then I play with him. Now just to note,

these these are the translations of the Russian subtitles, right? And in the actual Kyrgyz, it's much more of like a deliberate double entendre. Oh, okay, sure. So Albastie, the Basti part of that is a word meaning like to press, as in, like, a sleep paralysis demon, it comes in and presses on your chest in the night, you know? It's basically like, calling him Mr. Squish. So they're saying, like, Albastie, as in the demon that presses on you, come and Basty with me, is sort of what they're saying, the thing,that presses on you, come and bastie with me is sort of what they're saying and the thing, come press on me. So first he presses on me and

then I press on him. Then I fuck him. Then I fuck that guy. I suck. I'll busting off. So when you hear in these lyrics it plays with me what they're saying, what they're actually saying is you know he presses on me and I press on him. If the offended conservative lobby in Kyrgyzstan were not exercised enough by those lyrics and they were, some other verses sung by an ephit albastity figure clad all in black compounded the outrage. It continues, and I press with girls and I press with boys and I press with the old and I press with the young, I even press with goats. Mm-hmm. Hmm. The reaction from the online community was immediate and overwhelming.

A response to took the creators of the clip by surprise. Uh, I'm gonna butcher some names here, apologies. Rano Alim Baieva, one of the stars of the video explained that their main name was to advertise the upcoming movie. We have a movie coming out, so we decided to create a to create a to create a to create a to create a to create a to create a to create a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their main aim was to advertise the upcoming movie. We have a movie coming out, so we decided to create a teaser made with a bit of black humor, something for the over-18s, she said. A little something for Daddy. A little, little, little, little some for Daddy. The director of the clip said he was taken back by the public outcrime. We didn't think people would be so the the the the th th th the the the the the the the the thi so thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the their their the, the, the, to the, the, their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their their, their, the, the, their, the, the, their, their, theaseasease. their, their their the the teaseaseasease.ease their their their teaseaseowards the video, he said, Humor is just humor.

People should take things a little more easy. And hey, who could argue with that? Critics were indignant and what they perceived as the licentiousness on display and even worse that the creators of the video had tainted a Kyrgyz folk tale with themes of sexuality. Don't you dare make our strangle demon horny. The guy comes in at night and strangles our young women. Don't make that sexual. No. I would say this was a total washout, said Umat Kalev, a former member of the Academy

of Sciences, listing his complaints. For a start, it was immoral. Second, don't they have any ideas what clips to film? Third, what kind of clownery is this? Good point. Fourth, you must not mess with otherworldly forces. This will come back to haunt you. Sorry, uh, the title they gave him there, he was a former member of the Academy of Sciences. Are they referring to the Academy of Sciences as in the Academy of Awards? Isn't that what that's called?

Like the people who get to vote on the Oscars? They get to vote on the science. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Isn't that? Is that what I'm talking about? I have no idea. I assume this is some sort of government science body, but I could be wrong.

Yeah, I think you're probably right. What clouner is this? This immediately makes me think of that fucking Tommy Lee Jones speaking to Jim Carrey on the set of Batman Forever. I cannot sanction your buffoonery. Quite a few people online seem to share his views. Some accuse the three women in the video of being little better than prostitutes who had bought shame on the nation. A few things that... Uh...

Quote, we curg's people... A few things that... Uh... Uh... Quote, we Kerger's people value such notions as discipline, traditions and customs. If we allow our beauties to lapse in this way, then tomorrow we can simply give away our land, freedom, honor, and dignity to neighboring nations. A YouTube viewer wrote in one of the most upvoted comments. You know what? Take Kogger's dead. We don't even want it anymore because apparently we make demons sexy now. Why... We're all fucking and sucker novering.

Turkmenistan. It's terrible place, not like us. Why don't we just flush this country down the fucking toilet? The opposing camp was supportive of the girls in the video for poking fun at Kyrgyzstan's traditional laws and challenging the taboo on sexual themes in the local entertainment scene. Quote, in our society, which has so many hang-ups, it does sound like that that might be the case, and which is so critical to creative expression, I am all for any videos like these. It was funny. Some of the humor was, you know. But I like that that that that that that that that that that the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the humor was, you know, but I like that the girls were not shy or afraid, said Bishkek-based entrepreneur Some Saabek Mamurali, a self-described feminist Look at least it's you know, it's going over okay with some people. Yeah, it wasn't funny, but it made me horny

And isn't it isn't that what's really important? The joke's not so good, but pretty sexy. Pretty sexy, and I am feminist. So, um, here's a bit more Kyrgyzstany folk law for you, because I'm liking the descriptions of some of these, some of these cats, some of these hip cats run around the hills, you know? This is from Silk Road Explore.com. You know when you're just exploring the Silk Road. Mmm, I've done it before.

Since ancient times, Kyrgyz's children have been frightened by stories of an angry old woman who is the local curving of a vampire. According to legend, the old woman has a copper nose, sneaks up on hunters spending the night in the mountains, pierces their jugular vein with her nose and drinks their blood. Good God. This is 100% of blood-borne enemy. Yeah, during howling winter snowstorms that can tear the felt off of yurts. Grandparents tell stories of her to show what can happen to naughty little children.

It's a vaguely salacious thing that you would say about so I'd be like. G their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to naughty little children. It's like a vaguely salacious thing that you would say about so I'd be like, she could tear the felt off of you. Albasti, of course, who we're all familiar with, is an evil mythical creature that all Kyrgyz people learn about from the earliest days of their childhood. She comes to a person their dreams and begins to choke them. According to other local legends, there's a to. to. to. to. to. to. to. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. tha. A. A. A. A. A. A. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. te. to. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. them. According to other local legends there's a mountain spirit called Devon. In Western Australia they call it Poloni. We watched Final Destination the other day which Elinor loves and like God Devon Sower looks like shit in that movie. Just out of his like just out of his childhood star phase and he's just fucking plug ugly.

It's no good. No offense to Devon Sower, if you're listening. It sounds like some offense. He just deliberately went out of your way to say that they looked fucking bad. It's no, like, he's got no place being in a Hollywood film. It's just, it's just terrible stuff. But I retract my apology if he's like a big maga guy or anything like that, you know. There's a mountain spirit called Devon that lives in the mountains around Lake Isichkul. He's something of a mountain troll. Devon can cause rock slides if you trespass

onto his territory and he is said to collect and store countless treasures of precious stones in nearby caves. Hmm, I'm not really, yeah. I'm not, I can't really get a, what's the message here? Don't go there, but also if you do. Pretty tempting. Countless treasures. No way, I mean, unless you want some of those wonderful precious stones. Well, I have a few more sleep monsters here and some of them again very mixed messages, okay. This is from the website for Brooklyn Bedding. Yeah and that's not a mattress store, that's a that's a sex website. This is a sex website. This is a sex website. Well you better not be on there on those sex websites. You heard two-thirds of the internet now is sex websites. Getting all these emails from sex websites. This is actually a bed store and one of the articles they have is like,

hey, want to hear about some sleep monsters from around the world? I mean, yes, but... Single institution of the world now as a content producer, because that's the only way you can get people to look at your shit. It's so good. I love the idea that maybe this is on there so that like if you keep having a bad night sleep they can be like, well, let's not rush to accuse the mattress. Have you considered?

What country do you live in let me look down my big list here. Kauilas just sending out a Blu-ray copy of the witch with all their mattresses. Do you live in the Philippines because the native language is Tagalog and it has the word Bangungut. If you translate it it means to rise and moan during sleep. That is because the Batibat spirits have come to call. Looking like an ugly fat woman, the Batibat are tree dwellers. But beware, if one of their homes, their tree, is used in the construction of your house, they'll come for a night-time visit. That's nice. They use their gigantic fat AS to sit on the new homeowner's chest and push out the sleeping victim's life force. No, no, sorry, Andrew, can I pull you up there? Sit on the new homeowner's chest and face.

Oh, sorry. Oh, it's like the guy that passed away recently. The guy? The guy? The guy? The guy? The guy with the lovely pictures. Hmm. Japan, nothing goes to waste on this island nation. Okay. And left over pieces from the creation come together in the Baku. As you would expect this creature is a bit confused with the trunk of an elephant, the body of a bear and the tail of an ox. It feeds on dreams. Children may call for it to remove their nightmares. Okay.

Sounds good so far. Yeah, and there's simply no catch whatsoever. But there's a catch. Oh, fuck shit. Unfortunately, the Baku can also eat the hopes and motivation of the sleeper, turning them into a gamer. Lucky for me, I already have none of that, so if you could take my nightmares, that'd be just a win-win situation.

So, this next one, all over the place, right.. Maybe. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe to to to to th.. to to to th. th. th. to th. thi. thi-a, thi-a, thi-a. th-a. thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the the the the the the the the th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, to-s. Oh, to-s. Oh, to-s. Oh, to-s. to-s. tha-s. the-s. tha-s. the-s. the-s. the-s. the-s. the-s. the-s. Oh, fuck? Oh, the-a-a-s. Oh, that'd be just a win-win situation. So, this next one, all over the place, right? Maybe you want to be involved with it, maybe you don't. This one's from Hungary. This monster, the Lidek, grows from a tiny egg and has a sexual nature, just like Theo. Yes, it can squeeze the victim, but that not only creates fear, it also creates lust. This gender-shifting demon sucks blood and robs the victim of his or her strength. Sounds pretty bad. But if they fall in love with the victim, they will bring them hoarded gold.

Sounds pretty good. Yeah. Maybe I don't mind like having a little bit of my strength sucked out if there's a big pile of gold somebody brings to me. But if you don't want to take the chance of the Lyderk falling in love with you and everything, give it an impossible task and they will then stick with the task looking for a solution forever and leave you alone. Learn how to play dwarf fortress. Am I right? I thi thi thio thiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I tho, I tham, I tham tham, I tham I tham. I the the tho, I tho, I tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tham tham tham tham tham, tham. I tham. I the theeeeeeean. I'm theanan. I'm thean. I'm thean. I'mauuu. I'm thin. I'm theewarf Fortress. Am I right? Theo specifically?

Yes, I think you're 100% right. I just can't work it out. You just can't, and I keep trying, you start, you're spawning. And then, you have to click on the, well you can't click on the guys because you move your cursor to them. And there's a caravan, and then some elves, yeah, it's sort of 3D, but there's only like one plane at the same. But then I try to get on those texture packs and then that didn't just load properly. It's just, and then like, so it used to be in 2D and that was, like, because then you just go into the mountain, but then they made it three Damp................. It's, they, they, th. It's, th. th. th. they, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, that, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's, th.there's demons as well. Magma guys will get you yeah. And that's like if the AI doesn't just completely break halfway through. So get the demon to play Dwar Fortress.

Yes, yeah, that's what we're saying. This demon from Turkey is a gin. It is named the Karabasan. And it will hold the victim still and strangle them. But the gin always has a hat. And if you can get the hat, the gym becomes a genie and will do anything you want. This is also true of anyone in a scar band. If you can take their fedora, they have to do what you tell them. Give it back. Go and pick up my McNuggets first.

Oh, fine. Okay. You're holding the hat up in the air. Even though they've got those like, those thick sold black shoes with like the white tops. They still can't jump there up up up up up up up up up up the white the white the white the white the white the white the white the white the white the white the white tops, they still can't jump up there, you know? Hey, stop making ironic colors. Mmm. Then we've got the country of Chile. The women of the Chilean island of Chilow have an irresistible nighttime visitor.

He's a sporty guy and no woman can resist him. He's a sporty guy? It's a hot pervert. He's turning up with a squash racket. If a woman becomes pregnant and the circumstances of the pregnancy can't be explained, you guessed it. The father is Trowko, the nighttime visitor. He's just like the incredible carbs. He's just the local, like the local yoga teacher. His legs are so toned from tip-towing about. That's like a very good posture though, definitely looks like he does a lot of yoga. We're absolutely certain it's not the yoga instructor.

Oh, it's a demon. It's a dark demon. Nighttime perfect. That's right. So when your wife... He has a ponytail for some reason. It's funny that your wife gets pregnant and you didn't have sex with her

and then you're like, damn it, have you been cheating on me? And she's like, no no. It was just the nighttime visitor who came and impregnated me in the night, and he's gone now. You're like, damn it, and he's like, that's all fun. Oh, Trauco, okay. And finally, you do a maternity yoga now. Interesting. Okay. And finally in Catalonian legend and popular culture, the pesanta is an enormous dog or sometimes a cat. It's like make up your mud, you know. And it goes into people's houses in the night and puts itself on their chests, making it difficult for them to breathe and causing them the most horrible nightmares. The pausanta is black and hairy with steel paws, but they have holes in them so they can't take anything.

So, that's fine. It's just such a fun detail. It's causing me horrible nightmares. But at least it can't take any of the change in the bowl next to the bed. It can't jack my shit because it falls through the middle of its paws. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm looking at some illustrations here. And that is just, yep, just a hole. You tried to take my car keys, fell straight through, cloud on the floor. You tried to take my car keys, fell straight through, cladded on the floor. Idiot. So I'm going to just paste an image into the chat here.

This is, you know, it's a black dog with holes in it, but something about the art just suggests in every way that the person who drew it wished it was furry art? Well and I think if you, if you kind of zoom in a little bit there, you will see that this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture this picture thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. t. t. try. toda. try. toda. try. toda. try. today. try. tha. tha. tha. try. tha. picture came from deviantart.com. Wonderful website. The site for perverts. Well look, you know, terrible visitor to get if you don't like having bad dreams, but probably great to get a hand job from. You know? Some words to have, some ways to avoid this creature, spread some millet in the threshold of your bedroom.

Okay. Place a broom next to your bed, or pronounce some words that will force it to count all the stars in the sky. Tell us which words those are. Hey, could you just quickly count all the stars in the sky? I think I could get action that straight away by close a business, that'd be sick. Thank you. Maybe that could be the impossible task that you give to the LeDurc you know. Hey just count all the stars from the sky you don't be a really quick down it. Sorry I've got one more

image here just in case you didn't get it the first time around and I'm aware this is an audio medium so first we're hearing about it the maybe oh to thi to the the the the th you the th we thio thio thio thi thio thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. tothis. Oh, okay. So we've got a bit of a split, a split image. Two parts of this image. The first is a boy in a bed. He's sort of sweating or crying, eyes closed. And there is three of the Paisanto, is the pizano, I believe. Yeah.

Pithanta, it's from Catalonia. Of course, yeah. One of them is looking quite happy. Another one is standing on the child and there's sort of blue, like steam or mist coming out of its front two pores, and then the last one's looking quite coy. Sort of bashful, sort of bashful. And then, in the second part of looking quite coy. Sort of bashful almost. Sort of bashful. And then in the second part of this image, again, child sweating in the bed, same demon dog now with glowing blue eyes, that same mist coming out of his mouth, looking just more aggressive. I don't really know the story it's trying to tell here.

I'm confused as to the folklore. Well, certainly also because the images sort of overlap. It's hard to tell whether this is intended to be a chronological sequence or if they're twins one of them is getting attacked by three twins Twins. Oh, no. Yeah, hard to twins. Twins. Twins. Uh, no. Yeah, hard to say. Well, uh, so that's just something to think about.

That has been your Kyrgyzstan updates. So, you know, if you're having terrifying nightmares where you feel that something is pressing on your chest, making it difficult to breathe, maybe you're waking up but you can't move any of your limbs, you're their thiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say. to say. to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. toooo. toea. toea. toea. to to to toe, maybe you're waking up but you can't move any of your limbs, you're trapped, a horrifying nightmare in the prison of your own mind. Maybe just crack open a book try and figure out what your local one is. Maybe the demon has a hat you could snatch some kind of deal you could make. You could maybe even be getting rich. You know? So just, or you could maybe suck or fuck the demon. Get sucked or fucked by the people. Yeah. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th thri thri. thri. tribea. tribea. trip trip tripi tripi trip. trip. try thr- thripi., you could maybe suck or fuck the demon. Get sucked or fucked by the demon.

Get sucked or fucked. You couldn't hurt. A lot of them don't seem to... If you're not sure. A lot of them really don't seem to mind who they're sucking or fucking, so your chances are pretty good. I guess what I'm saying is, you know, you gotta look be a victim. Can't be a victim all your life. You've got to say, hey, how can I turn this situation around to my advantage? How can I steal this genie's hat?

How can I get- How can I suck or fuck my way out of this? Yeah. How can I get socked, fucked, left with a big pile of gold, and then send this idiot demon off on an impossible quest? You know? We can give you Ben's address. Uh-huh. Yep. Well, see it everybody. See you next one. Bye. you to be