Boonta Vista - EPISODE 180: Battlefield Urk

Episode Date: January 3, 2021

We're back! 2021! Nothing bad whatsoever will happen this year! Andrew, Theo, and Ben look at the absolute chaos that seemingly grips the Netherlands at New Years, and investigate some of Australia's most famous balloon crashes. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Buntavista, episode 180. This is it. The episode you've been waiting for. Every single day we're inundated with emails, discord messages and voicemails on the Buntivista hotline, that's 1,803175 or 735-416 for those in the states. Well, the weight is finally over. That's 1801803175 or 732876 for those in the states. Well, the weight is finally over. That's right, it's finally an anime episode and without a single racist accent.

I am Theo, number wisen to yet doddering old men and a diaper and a cane, wandering alongside the road to the off-limits zones of New Osaka. As always, I'm here with Ben, who's just suited up into his GSS-megos, th and th and th and the th and the th and th and to the off-limits zones of New Osaka. As always, I'm here with Ben, who's just suited up into his GSS megabot and is ready to launch into low orbit and use his spear of aching pleasure to pierce the armor of heaven and murder God. And hopefully it'd be home in time to study for his biology exam. How are you, Ben? Well, I've got a real hot-headed temper, and I'm haughty as hell, but I am the only person who can save both the earth and also the entire dimension. Yes, and this will get you the acceptance from your mother that you have been waiting for your entire life. Yes, but it's not bea easy because for some reason the dormitories I was placed in was the

ladies dormitory so there, like 200 of them. Yeah, and you're all naked. . They're all naked all the time. Yeah, and you walk out there and you don't realize that you haven't got any clothes on and you're like there for a moment and then kind of like cross your arms and legs and go, ah! There's been a huge beat of sweat on my forehead. Basically 24-7. Just hang in there.

We can see if we can get one of the girls to dab it lightly off you. And finally, here's Andrew and he's making, let me just check my notes here, he's making an how gale face. Oh yeah. So, I am, I'm not gonna do any kind of associated noises because we said there weren't gonna be any, said there wasn't gonna be any unpleasantness in terms of accents or anything. Also that we're saying that for the paid episodes. Yeah, my tongue tongongongongongong th thung thung th. I th. th. th. thung th. th. th. I th. th. I tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to to that's that, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Also, we're saying that for the paid episodes. Yeah.

My tongue is right out of my eyes. Yeah, you can't see him. His eyes, yeah, kind of... I can't see you because of how I cross my eyes. It is disgusting. You don't want to see it, but you can. Do you see that? I posted a screenshot of a taxi ad I got for like one of the big cab companies

where it's like a before and after picture of a woman looking at surge pricing and a woman looking at the lack of surge pricing on her taxi app but she's straight up doing like an ahigal face like she's got her eyes crossed and just like oh it is deeply troubling. It is a baffling ad. There's another misstep by the tax industry. Nothing gets me there. Like seeing a lack of search pricing, boy-yo-yo-yo-yo. I can't believe I actually had to find out what this meant.

Well, congratulations. I know. What's, which part the, I hate gal? Oh, already knew. Because of the whole business, you know. I think I was forced to find out because that uh, that one lady ate the egg with the egg with the, do you remember she some, one of the, one of the ones she ate like an egg with the shell still on? Oh no, okay. What the fuck are you talking about? That was smash Mouth. Oh, Smash Mouth Aidex, that's 100% correct. Get out to free to the show, John Hedrin, what a man.

I also found out about it by doing research for the podcast. That's how I know about it. And I guess I'll present the findings of that research at some point. I don't. I'll present the findings of that research at some point. Yep, I don't know what that means, but please don't. I'll check my mail every day. So with that, with that in mind, shall we now cross to the modern epicenter of anime? That's right, we're talking about the Netherlands. Mm-hmm.

Everybody, I'm from Holland. It's Netherlands corner, baby. That's right. We have a theme song now. I think that like as much as... I saw somebody panning Austin Powers Gold member the other day. No, here we fucking go. But I still think it's, I don't know, can you think of a canonically like more prominent representation of a Dutch perver in a big movie?

Absolutely not. He's so Dutch. So, it's time to find out what the fuck is happening in the Netherlands. Our favorite country to check in on and then just, you know, like slowly close our laptops, turn away from the desk. Furrowed brow. One of my kids comes in. What's wrong, Papa? Not now. Not now.

Your papa is troubled. You must have some solitude. Well, so I just found out that you can just straight up get your kids to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get your to get your to get your to get your to get your to get your to get your to get your to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their c their c their c their c their c c c.. their c. their c. their c. their c. their c. their c. their co their co. their coooooooo their their cooome to coom. to coom. their co. their co. their co. papa is troubled. You must have some solitude. Also, I just found out that you can just, you can just straight up get your kids to call your papa. You can't call you or whatever the fuck you like. Yeah, that's right. Are you working on that with fit at the moment? Yeah, absolutely. But no, no, no, he just calls me like, thrown, thrown, throwne. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. you. you. you. You just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, you to just, you to just, you to just, you can't just just just, you to just, you can't just, you can't just, you can't just just just just just just just just, you can't just just just just just, you can't. to just just just just. to just just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. to. to. to. to. to. to just. to. to. to. to to the the thr. to to thr. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to just, you to just just'm not going to get you sick of it any time soon. It seems like that would work pretty easy though, right? Like, because Papa's one of those words where it's, what do you call it?

Theo, you're a smart person. They're the words that we have, cognates? No. I don't know. The words we have because babies make that sound and then we turn them into words. Not because we teach babies those words. Like Papa's one of those. Like your intros on the podcast.

It seems needlessly right. I don't know what I could do that to me. So sorry. If you're a smart person, you know what I'm trying to think of there or you happen to be Tiger Web, please let me do in the other direction though. You can call your kids whatever you want. I have two daughters and I constantly refer to them as bro and say things like Chill out bro. Bro take it easy when they're getting a little out of pocket, you know? Oh boy. Let's see here from the one and only the premier source of news from the

Netherlands being read out on an Australian podcast called Buntavista. Dutch News. N.L. I'm gonna start paying these guys royalties sending them some some croners or whatever the fuck. What are they spending over there is it just euros is a they're 100%them some croners or whatever the fuck. What are they spending over there? Is it just euros? They're 100% on the euro. Oh, they should have a nexit or a dexit. It's a great question.

It could be a duxit. Duxet or a nexit. I think an exitit in terms of, well in terms of keeping, they got too much stuff going on over there. Too many names, pick one. From Dutch News. N.L. Firework ban widely ignored, but police report fewer incidents during New Year's festivals. Festivities, my apologies to the people at Dutch News.NL. Although the firework ban was widely ignored, and dozens of cars were set on fire.

Hang on what? Yep. So, uh... Uh, like... I feel like we're kind of just sneaking that into the sentence. I feel like they linked the two together in a very subtle way. Hey do you want to go and let some fireworks off and you know this person's already nodding and set some cars on fire? Well it's too late to stop nodding I've already started. Yeah the person is looking back at the

cops and already like breaking a car window. Mm-hmm. Go on. So I won't be fined if I ignore the firework ban. Got it. Although the firework ban was widely ignored and dozens of cars were set on fire, police and the emergency services were called out some 30% fewer times than during normal New Year celebrations with little scare quotes around normal. Yeah, that's the one place the square scare quotes actually belong. Oh, normal by which country's standards I think we're all going to come to understand. Extremely normal. Just having a normal one. Well, although despite the dozens of burned cars, it sounds like the Dutch people were actually having a quiet one this year.

Oh, you know, normally hundreds of cars, thousands. Yeah, probably having a quiet one tonight, just go out and tip two cars. Yeah. In bed by ten, probably won't even see the celebrations. I're going to tip those cars though. I like to go out early with the kids and burn a clown car so they can get in bed and they don't have to stay up to midnight. That's a joke for the parents who go out to these smaller, earlier fireworks celebrations

that they often have on in places. However, police will give a statement about the night's events on Friday afternoon once they have a better picture of the number of arrests and main incidents. Who's the main character of this new celebration? Eye expert cured the Faber from Rotterdam's specialist eye clinic told the telegraph this has been, quote, the quietest new year of my career. So just, I loved, so this is the third paragraph of the article and with no context whatsoever We have deferred to the expertise of a an eye expert from a specialist eye clinic with no reason given as to why this would be the case which is such a tantalizing lead into where this goes.

I enjoy that they respect the reader enough to allow us to join the dots ourselves. Yes, it's true. It's true. Show don't tell. You know? So far, just four people have been treated for firework-related injuries at the hospital. That is a real contrast to last year's horror where we had 18 eye injuries within two and a half hours. Fuck. Theo, this reminds me of a story that

you told a little while ago when we were talking about fireworks and and you said that you were in Berlin? Yeah on New Years. Yeah. And like I definitely get the the flavor of what's going on in this story because, um, and um, and um, and you said that you were in Berlin? Yeah, on New Year's. Yeah. And, like, I definitely get the flavor of what's going on in this story because the Europeans are fucking wild with New Year's. I do not understand it, because they get up the next day, and they're all just like, with their comically old brooms, like just sweeping glass and fireworks into tiny little bins, putting on their laterhosen and going to work in a shoe polishing house or whatever the

fuck. But for that one night, for some reason, they all just turn into menacing criminals. It's weird that they have twice as many shoe polish manufacturing plants. Isn't that strange? Thank youtwice as many shoe polish manufacturing plants as they do shoe manufacturing plants. Isn't that strange? Thank you Ben. Any time.

So yeah, Theo was describing as people all just like who had bought their own fireworks and were immediately letting them to each other? Yeah, like we walked out of the B&B, right, and like onto just a street in Berlin and literally across the like half of the street onto the median strip from us was a dude getting his like six-year-old son to just light an entire carton of fireworks on the strip. That was the first thing we saw, meters from walking out of the door. Bodes well. Fire officers in Bilft also said that the celebrations had been, quote, way quieter

than usual. Prime Minister, Mark Rout, had made an urgent appeal to people not to set off fireworks during the festivities in order to relieve the pressure on hospitals struggling to cope with coronavirus. Great. Mm-hmm. Oh, boy. So if you've lost your sense of sight, to the left, if you've lost your sense of smell to the right. Oh my goodness.

There were, however, some clashes between groups of revelers and police, you know how that happens on New Year's, traditional, often in rural areas. Nevertheless, yep. It's out in the countryside fighting with riot police, being like, happy new year! preaching and hollering as you're wheeling a gigantic stolen piece of Edam on dirt road. Getting hit with a billy club by an officer who say, manly happy with those. Nevertheless, Jan Streis of the police union, Netherlands, Politibond told Artiel that this year's New Year's festivities were not a quote battleground as they were most years. It's interesting that they say

that given everything that follows on from that into Saturday call. All right so so now we've been set up with our context here. Really quiet New Year's Eve. Barely anybody getting their eyes blown out of their skulls, minimal dozens of cars being burned, really not a battleground, much quieter than it has been in the past. So you know, that's painting a pretty sedate picture for us, right Ben. Yep. I'm just gonna keep reading then. In Rizweik, a group of youths try to try to to try to the try........... the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be toe. Min, minimal, minimal mine. Mine. Minimal, minimal, minimal, minimal, minimal, minimal, minimal, minimal, minimal, minimal, minimal, minimal, minimal, minimal, minimal, minimal, minimal, toe, toe. Min, toe. Min, toe. Min, toe. Min, toe. Min, should be chill. I'm just gonna keep reading

then. In Reesweik a group of youths tried to burn down a caravan causing a gas bottle to explode and injuring several of them when their clothes caught fire. Huh? Riot police were drafted to support the fire rebuttal in putting out the blaze. Elsewhere in Reesweig, a delivery van and a scooter were also set on fire. Okay, in Oranheum, three police officers were injured when they tried to break up an illegal party attended by some 70 people. Three party goers were arrested. I like the way they got the ship eaten out of them they could only get out of there with like the one person they were holding. Many of the incidents

took place in smaller towns and villages rather than the big cities. In the village of de Quackle. So south of Amsterdam, a man was seriously injured and may have lost a hand while setting off fireworks, police said. That to me is, um, that's definitely like personal nightmare kind of material is, that's losing a hand. No, like that kind of injury. I think that there are a lot of injuries. Hey, you want to hear what happened to my cousin? Very recently, apparently. Sure.

I just heard about this over the holidays. My cousin, who is around my age and has small children of her own, say small child of her own, was at the pool behind the house in Brisbane. And they have like an uncapped pool fence running along the back. the back. the back. the back. the back. the back. the back. the back. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm that I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I've I've I thi, I thi, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I I I I, I, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I th. I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th thi thi thi th th thi th thi th thi th th thi thi th Brisbane. And they have like an uncapped pool fence running along the back of the property. And so her kid was playing with something and like, you know, ball or whatever and through it and it went up behind the fence or over the fence or whatever. And so my cousin has like climbed up the fence to get it

which she has done many other times and has slipped and fallen onto the uncapped pool fence and been impaled through like through her calf or her thigh so like thing all the way out the other side and And so she is like hanging off this fence with his pool fence thing going all the way through a leg while she has like her very young kid there. And she has to get him to go into the house and get her phone, no. So that he can bring it back to her and she can call the ambulance and everything. No. Apparently she managed to get herself down off there before the ambulance got there. Sort of up off there and then down off there. Yep. Now that sounds really bad right.

Yes. When you say it like that, cap your fence. When you describe it as it happen. Get the little guys that you put on the top of the bits of the fence the the the the the the the the the the the the the ambulance the the the the the the ambulance the the the the the th ambulance the the th ambulance th a th ambulance th ambulance tha tha tha tha tha the ambulance the ambulance the tha tha tha tha. the ambulance the ambulance the ambulance the ambulance the the the the th th. th. th. tha tha tha. the a the a the a tha. the a the a tha. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a tha.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. t fence. When you describe it as it happened. Get the little guys that you put on the top of the bits of the fence so that they can't go into your calf. Yeah, they never fit properly, but that's okay. Just as long as they kind of sit on top of there. Public service announcement from Bonteviso. Now you said, cap your pool fence. Now you you you thap thap thap thap thap thap thap th. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. than. the, the, the, thu. thu. thu. thu. Yeah, they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the the the the thu. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. ta. ta. tipea. tapea. tape. tape. tape. tape. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. No, no, no, sorry, the fireworks incident? Oh, the fireworks incidents happening in De Quackle.

That one? Yeah, so the thing about the sound of fireworks almost blowing off someone's hand and the sound of De Quacka is, it doesn't echo. Hmm. Hmm. So anyway, my point was going to be that, um, as bad as that injury sounds, that's something that like goes in one side and comes out the other and you can pull it out and you can like stitch up the holes and stuff like that.

Something like blowing your hand up with a firework. That hands are not coming back. Yeah, it makes you think of like, you know, exploding a sausage in the microwave or something like that it's just shredded, you know, and shredded, you know, and like your hands and your feet are just full of so many little bones and tendons and nerve endings and stuff. How often you're microwaving a sausage? Not very. That was my thought as well. There's a little snack for a man to have, a little treat.

I'm usually... One wooller spread, beef sausage, the small ones, putting it the microwave. Setting it for 20 minutes and walking away. I'll definitely keep an eye on this. For the record I am normally microwaving hot dogs for my kids in a dish of water. Or frozen chicken. Don't have a microwave. It's like, so there was a story in the news a little while ago about rapper Megan the The Stallion,

being shot in the foot by Canadian rapper Torrey Lanes. And so this was, you know, a bit of a thing and everything. But as soon as I heard that, I was just like, oh, imagine being shot in the foot. It's just all, it's just all little bones. There's a little, little bits in there. Oh, imagine it. It's not like a big chunkie, a thigh or whatever, where it's just meat. Yeah, just a big thing of meat. You just make sure that that that that that that that that that that that the tha tha thu, thu, thu, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin's, thin's, thin's, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the arteries are fucked or whatever. I know the very bad things can happen to you with those sorts of injuries but I

think things like you know hands and feet and big joints and stuff like that injuries to your knees and things those are the things that I always look at and think that's that's just gonna fuck with you forever. Have already talked about the time that my dad's friend shot him in the foot? No. No. And they were like 10 or 12 and apparently that's a good time for children to have guns at that stage. And they just like had these 22s like running around the mudflats of Mackay. The exotic beautiful mudflats of Mackay. And my dad's friend shot like the ground in front of him. Because he's like, you know, dance.

Half high, yeah, exactly, calf high in mud. And the bullet just went through the mud and into dad's foot. And dad just sort of went, oh well, I guess it's time to go home and pretend like I haven't been shot in the foot because if I... The classic kid response to anything is you get in trouble because you got a judy yep. Got to the night time, the bullet hadn't evaporated, hadn't been the left overed? The bullet, the bullet did not get raptured. And so he told grandma, oh his mother, my mom, grandma, that he had been shooting and he shot like a rock and it ricocheted into his foot and she said, oh okay, and took him to the hospital.

And she believed this for, so he would have been 11, now, 60, 50 years, one half of a century, until I, I dogged my dad at a, oh, you let it slip. You snitched? I didn't realize that she still believed. Your dad kept his friend's criminal secret for 50 years. For 50 years. And I was like, oh, you mean the time that such and such shot you in the foot. And she was like, oh, what?

And then I realized I'd ruined Christmas. What's the statute of limitations on shooting someone in the foot? Yeah. 50 years? 50 years for sure. You got in one day before it would have hit the statute of limitations. Very bad timing. I, um, I had an incident when I was like high school, high school sort of age, and I was with my older

brother, only one I got. And we would regularly kind of like hike up a bit into the hills behind our house. And like we, you know, we're up there and doing shit that stupid teenagers do, you know, pulling branches off things. They got great stuff. And there was like this old pickaxe up there. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

And I was like, let me see, I can cut down a tree with this old blunt pickax. And now you may think you know where this is going. So I've taken a swing at a tree, come up just short. The pickaxes sailed past it, but also like a horizontal swing, you know. But it is also like pulled me forward and off balance. And I've kind of tripped forward Doing a step on one side and turns out just in front of me was a sapling that had been like snapped off So that there's just like this 30 centimeter high sharp spike of wood sticking up and I've sort of tripped and stumbled forward onto this thing which has gone straight through the front of my like shin

meat just next to the bone you know and I went oh and kind of hopped backwards pull this thing out and there is a hole that's like like an inch circle kind of thing and like black blood immediately starts pumping out of this thing I can see it coming out like with heartbeats and I'm standing there going oh oh no as as this thing takes about five to ten seconds to fill my shoe. And my brother has gone, oh dear, and like taken off, I think he like took off his sock and tied it around the thing. You know, tied it up, tight. And then we went, well, because this is also before people had like mobile phones,

before all kids had mobile phones. Kids these days, they've all bloody got mobile phones, haven't they? They're always on their, on the Tick Tock. Yeah, who are they calling? Justin Bieber? Spongebob? And so on. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, and so on. So at this point we're just like, well, I guess it's time to start limping the several

kilometers back to the house. Because we're just like, we're just up in the hills. There is no like nearby road to hobble over to her. Well, there was another alternative. You just sort of lay down on the ground and just sort of let nature take its course to die. Just let go. Just let go. Big hole in my leg. It's time to go. It's probably the end of me. Peace. Good run. And we have heard that story before but it is nice to bring it back and drive a few people. Few more listeners away. If you think of yourself as a sort of injury-averse person, sorry about this podcast.

I guess this isn't the episode for you, you know. And you found that out after having had it. Yeah, and so we like, you know, I like limp all the way back there with an arm around my brother's shoulders. Get back home. My parents are both still at work. So we're like, hmm, better start putting band-aids over this hole. In it first, probably, and then on it. Yeah, better, better just, because like you said, you don't want to just be like,

hey, I've fucked around and punched a massive hole through the sheet of muscle. No, you want to have a go of fixing it yourself. Yeah, you want to just be like, what if I just, what if I choose some gum and pop it over this, you know? Pop in some sage and thyme. Mmm, some herbal remedies. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to chew some herbs into a paste and smear it on their. So you know, I've got home and kind of of of of ofthis off and slapped half a dozen band-aids over

each other in like a sort of large patch. And then a few hours later when my parents have got home, we've been like, hey, uh, hey, can we go to the hospital? About that mess in the, but I don't think I ever did go to the hospital. Fucking hell. Oh no, I went to a doctor. Maybe either the same day or the next day and you said, sorry, that's too wide to stitch closed. Modern medicine can't deal with that hole. Sorry, your whole too big.

Yeah, too big. Did you put some sage and time in there? So eventually when the, when the skin closed up over the top, now my leg does a thing where depending on the position that it's in, it gets like a little spheroid bump on the surface of my leg, and that's the blood pushing through from the big fucking hole that's still in the muscle in the front of my leg. And, because I continued to grow for however many more years, the bump the the bump and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the muscle in the front of my leg. And because I continued to grow for however many more years, the bump and the hole are like

severely out of alignment. They're like two or three inches away from each other. No! You're gonna go in for a hole alignment. My holes are out of sick. Get you on one of those balancing machines and where you're around. Shift my hole around. It's so fucking nasty. Why is that the part that bothers you the most? No, no, it just doesn't seem like that's the way that the body should work. That's fucked up.

I, because like I'm, I'm relatively tall. Yeah. And, the relative to Theo yeah which members the podcast are tall from Theo let's list the buff yeah I'm relatively tall and I guess I had like a lot of growth spurts in a short amount of time because I have like stretch marks across my back that are just horizontal lines from just growing vertically very quickly and I had a different injury during high school where I like came off a bike and landed on bitcim and like on my side and scraped a chunk a skin off like where my shoulder shoulder bone is you know and that that scar is also like like where my shoulder bone is, you know.

And that, that scar is also like halfway up my neck now, because I just, I just, I just, kept growing and the skin kept stretching out. I am just, it is inches away from where the injury was because that's, it's what happens. You keep stretching the skin out. I'm not a doctor. I don't understand any of this. I, I, it's, it's just, it's, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, it's, it's like, it's like, it's halfway, it's halfway, it's halfway, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It's the the the the the the the the the. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a. It's a. It's a. It's a th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. what happens. You keep stretching the skin out. I'm not a doctor. I don't understand any of this. Runs counterintuitive to my understanding of how the body works, but I don't know shit.

Very strange. Just keep stretching out, you know? Like a rubber glove over a skeleton. But imagine that the skeleton keeps getting bigger. Should we get back to some less agreeable content for racism? So my point is, blowing up your hand with a bunch of fireworks is nightmare material to me. It's like Murphy getting his hand blown off in Robocop, you know? Oh yeah.

Just a bad time. I don't think you enjoyed that. But that, hey, that's just a regular day in De Quackle. The emergency services were also called out to deal with a stabbing incident in the Gruningan village of... Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Okay, let me try that again. Uthus-we is a-meaden. That's what I'm going to say. Yep. After trouble broke out when a fire, thir the fire, the fire, the fire, the fire, the fire, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi-ermy then, is what I'm going to say. After trouble broke out when a fire in a trailer full of wooden crates was being extinguished. What I really like about this paragraph is the suggestion that someone setting a trailer full of wooden crates on fire was not the trouble that broke out. No, that was pre-trouble. A regular, ordinary trailer lighting and then a scuffle emerged. So it sort of seems like to me, maybe there was a fight about whether or not it should

be extinguished. Hey, people against. Bro, I just said that. I just made that fire, dude. Come on. In the village of Wapenveld in Gerdale, one police officer fired a warning shot after he was attacked by a group of youths. He had questioned about a fire. What's the foolish? Okay. Watch out there's youths about.

Bang. Did you set the fire? Uh, bang, bang. Bang, bang. Bang, bang. That's the sound that Dutch got back. Yeah, a little flag comes in, it's the Dutch flag. Bing, Bing.

I'm going to spell with two eyes. Bang. Did you hear a loud bing? Eleanor is in a Facebook group called called Loud Bangs around Cambroughra and it is a group for people to play for people to post hey anyone here a loud bang in Kingston just now oh just had two loud bangs in civic and if you read the group description it was formally people posting hey anyone hear a loud bang on on like the group description, it was formally people posting, hey, anyone hear a loud bang

on like the local buy-sell swap and they were asked to leave and make their own group, which they did. Oh, and I really love it because some of them just have, like, they don't even have like, like, they don't even have like context or locations, just someone who's like, wow, huge bang. That sounds quite good, actually. Yeah, they don't say where they are or anything. So anytime that we hear a loud bang in our suburb, we look at each other and go, loud bang. And I immediately checked to see if anybody else heard that loud bang just now. Or if you were in home, you might say, loud the being. Right police were also called out to deal with a group of th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. tho. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. the the the th. the the the th. the th. th. the the th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. toe. toe. toe. toe. toean. toean. toea. toea. toea. toe. toe. toe. tho. the. also called out to deal with a group of around 100 people

who were stopping the fire brigade putting out a burning car in Wardenburg. Oh boy, you know how you do. I thought it was kind of accepted that the fire brigade are generally like the one you don't, you don't like gum up the works. Yeah, I mean take a swing at paramedics if you must, but please. Oh, I was thinking that as you said it. Oh, Amboos. I believe Queensland is currently running a public awareness campaign about not punching paramedics.

I was thi as you said it. Oh and both I believe Queensland is currently running a like public awareness campaign about not punching paramedics currently Very strange state. That's no good Public service announcement from Buntavista do not punch emergency service workers. Yeah. Police do not count as emergency service. No No. Are you tired of paying nothing for the same old superior quality free episodes of the Buntavista podcast? Do you want less politics and more content about diarrhea? Our animals gone wild?

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Sign up in the next five minutes and I won't know because that's not my job, but you'll be enjoying the sweet satisfaction of supporting us, and we will love you romantically for it. That's my promise to you. In Amsterdam, police have so far reported just five arrests after police were pelted with fireworks in New West. Do you think they were lit or not? I'm going to say so. Throwing handfuls of unlit fireworks at place.

Just huge sticks of TNT. Right, police were also drafted into restore order in the east end of the city after a group of youngsters set off quote heavy fireworks. Heavy fireworks. Like large caliber fireworks. I guess so. Like you know those ones that that they just look like a tiny stick of dynamite. What are the, it's been so long since I've seen a firework. Bungers. Oh, uh, dynamit. Yeah, bungers. Yeah. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the te te te tea tea tea the the the the the east end the the the the the look like a tiny stick of dynamite. What are the, what are the, it's been so long since I've seen the firework? Bunger. Ah, dynamit. Yeah, bungas. Yeah, bungas. And then people used to get those ones that looked,

looked just like a bunger except it was like the size of a can of food. And then you go, I'm standing much further away from that one. Hmm. So have we found out what heavy fireworks means? I just, maybe they mean just like a large amount of them. It's hard to say. I, to me it has to mean like extremely explosive ones, you know, like commercial grade fireworks. Sure. Yeah, see the, see the, the references that I'm'm finding if I Google this is a thing, are all from Dutch

news reports. Different different people are getting heavily fireworks. It's usually the police complaining I see. Here be fireworks. Yeah, from the NL Times, police and Rotterdam sees 4,500 kilos of heavy fireworks. Okay. This is a very silly place. These guys are on a really on a different level, you know? Just packed in the back of one extremely overloaded utility vehicle, like two wheeling around corners.

Oh, I'm looking at a picture. It's actually like a shipping container. So this is from the NL Times December 13th, 2020. The police in Rotterdam seized 4,500 kilos of heavy illegal fireworks on Saturday. A 34-year-old man from Zulekin in Gelderland was arrested. He was pulled out of the shipping container just smoking a cigarette. This is my home. The national team in charge of environmental crimes tracked the man down which led to the discovery of the fireworks.

He was arrested on the A2 motorway near Zaltbommel with more than 150 kilos of heavy illegal fireworks in his car. Sub for the road. I was talking to my parents about camping when we were seeing them over the holidays and Mum was saying yeah, you see some people when they're going camping and they got like the roof racks on and they have Like a couple of big Jerry cans full of petrol strapped on there like right next to an LPG canister and you go. Okay, what could go wrong? What could go wrong? A child was in the car when the arrest took place. A police spokesman exclaimed that, quote, he had the crazy idea of taking his three-year-old child with him. On Saturday, the police reported the father was being held in custody.

It became clear that the case involved significantly more fireworks than were found in the car. This led to the investigation to to to to to to to to to to to to to the investigation the investigation to the investigation to the investigation the investigation to the investigation, to to the investigation, the investigation, to the investigation, the investigation, to to to to the the the to the to the the the the the the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thean.ean.ooooooooooooooooooooom.ean, tooe, thean.ean.ean.ean.e, the, the. This led to the investigation in Gilderland where a shipping container was found with thousands of kilos of heavy fireworks. A specialized company has removed and destroyed the fireworks. Yeah, we'll get rid of those for you. Block your ears. Imagine just taking all them out into a field. Wee! You just get sick sick of it after a while. Fuck another fire. It'd be like the, like the, like the, like the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, taking all them out into a field. Wee! You just get sick of it after a while. Fuck another firework. It'd be like the cops who like burn the 100% like tons of weed, you know? Here I am with my dumb mask on.

Not getting into it, you know? Standing a regulated 50 meters away, but holding a PVC pipe that's 50 meters long. You know how some people think that like, um, like things like Senate's and stuff like that should just be people who are picked from the public to do like rotating terms? I believe that's called. Okay, there go. To do like rotating terms in public office so that they aren't incentivized by graft and being a member of a big political party and everything.

They should do that, but for being the person who gets to get rid of like thousands of kilos of illegal fireworks every year. They'd like federal weed destruction lottery. Yeah, except that you get to stand out in a field, set fire to it and then just stand down wind. Yeah. It's like jury duty, but for destroying weed. Yeah, tax- Oh, great.

Go out to a field and burn a quantity of wheat I'll never again see in my life. You have a taxpayer-funded allowance for munchies. Mm-hmm. They give you one small packet of burger eggs. Oh, no. But on the right side of a Comcar drives you home. Mmm. I think we should start campaigning for that. In Lewarden, police made a number of arrests after they were pelted with fireworks in early hours

of the morning. One troublemaker ended up in a canal. Local broadcaster, Omrop Frieslion said. Just a nice little bit of levity to add to that one. Whoa. I was just watching the sport where people jump across canals on the big poles. Have you seen that one? Nope. They have these ridiculously long poles with a flat piece of metal like welded to the bottom as a base so it doesn't sink down into the mud and the canal. And you like run towards the pole, grab onto it and push it forward and towards the other the canal, and then sort of as you hit the canal bank, you start climbing the pole as fast as you can with both hands and both

feet ideally aiming to get to the very top of the pole which is like two stories high kind of thing so that when you come down on the other side of the canal you can kind of pole vault your way as far as possible and that's that's the number two judge past time to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to pass to to to to to to pass to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. tho. the. to. tooooooooooooo. too. to. to. to. to' the. the. the. the. the. th. And that's sport to these freaks. That's the number two judge pass time. The first of course is peeping to girls change rooms. It's me lying neck. There were however plenty of car fires at least 17 in Utrecht alone. Why?

Cars were also set on fire in Riesweig, Zeist, Den Bosch, Vien, Vienn, Almelo, Amsterdam, Wateringin, Rotterdam, the Hague. Colom, Colomberzwag and on the former island of Urk, where they had been troubled to run up to the new year. I'm sorry on the former island of Urk where they had been trouble in the run-up to the new year I'm sorry the former island It it what what is it now? They blew it up What is it now? What is it?

Oh, crap. It's so? beaxed! We have destroyed EARC! Paddlefield, Eirk! I'm never going to look into what they actually mean by that. That is Bethlehem! I'm never going to look into what they actually mean by that. That is bad. I don't... I'm just trying to understand how it can be in... It was an island and now it's not an island.

But also, like, say that this was a natural geological process that occurred. That's a weird detail to throw in to be like, oh, at one point, this was an island and now there's an Ithmus connecting it to the mainland or like... Okay. Hold on, hold on. So, irk-ish is a specific dialect. One of the oldest and most distinctive dialect of Dutch is the language spoken in Urk. Nearly everyone in the village speaks this dialect and uses it in daily life, so they got a real Wickerman community about it. I was going to say, village full of carboys. The Urkish dialect includes elements that are older than standard Dutch and we're never part of the standard language. For example, the old word for father the dialect dialect dialect dialect to to to dialect dialect dialect dialect dialect to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the dialect dialect dialects the dialects the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the of the standard language. For example, the old word for father in the Urkish dialect is,

Powhip. The dialect developed this way because until World War II, Urk was an island and could only be reached by boat. Radio was unknown and the poor population didn't have much money for newspapers and books and also how would, how did you get newspapers and books over there? Bloody, sink you're your little dingy. So, because living conditions were very poor, young girls would frequently leave the island to become domestic servants, mostly in or around Amsterdam.

And then, currently, Eirk is no longer an island. We just get straight to there. They're referring to it as a former island. Everybody just woke up one day and it was connected to the mainland. What happened to our beautiful? I'm silent. So confused. And that's the wonderful denouement that you were expecting from this story? And now you've learned all about Eirk. All about Urk. Oh my goodness. There is actually the actual end of this story.

The final sentence of this is baffling to me. Just considering the many paragraphs that you just went through. You want to read that final sentence there, Andrew? This year, the National Countdown to 2021 on national TV took the form of a laser show instead of fireworks. And that's is is is is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th is th is th is thi is thi is thi is the the their is their is their is their is their is actually is actually is their is their is actually is actually is actually is actually is actually is actually is actually is actually is actually is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their. their is took the form of a laser show instead of fireworks. And that's obviously what prompted people to immediately clash with riot police. They hate lasers. Nobody likes a laser show.

Did anybody else catch a bit of the ABC New Year's thing? I'd been asleep for three hours at that point. I was extremely drunken on a lot of drugs and wandering around a farm. Okay. We were staying with my parents, so not going to hog wild. And also we were all like, do we technically have to stay up to the midnight? Um... It's not a crime.

So we flicked it over to the ABC thing, you know, like 10 minutes beforehand. And just bleak. It was just bleak stuff because they were doing the, hey, we have the big stage and it's outdoors, much like years past, you know, that'd be, you get your musical acts of yesteryear and people from today that you haven't heard of to do songs and such. Except, there was a lady on singing, her name was Amy Shark, I don't believe that's a real person. She is certainly real.

She's from the Gold Coast, so absolutely not. And except COVID. So no crowd. No audience. So they've got the performer up on stage and they're trying to give it the old razzle the old razzle, bit of energy and everything. But they keep like panning back from the audience across where the audience would normally be. They just had it like a series of of like vertical neon lights, like little poles, and just nothing there. And then the song would end and there'd be no applause and one of the ABC presenters

to come out and go, woo! All right! And something about it was deeply depressing. But but they'd the the-s-... But they'd the the, but they'd they'd th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, like that, like that, like that, like that, like that, like the that, like the the the their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like that the their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a the the the series, like a the series, like a the series, like a the series, like a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, like the, like the, like thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their theat theat theat theat theat theeeat theeeeeat theee, like, like, like, like, like, like, the applause and one of the ABC presenters that come out and go, Woo! All right. And something about it was deeply depressing to me. It is very depressing. Um, I think we were all just like, see ABC just, you could have just done all this in one of your studios, you know? But they had to have the, hey, we're outdoors on the Sydney Harbor thing. But with no people there, it was just something very strangely bleak about it. I've seen them trying to do things, like, I saw some videos a little while ago,

like the IHart Music Festival and like Miley Cyrus doing stuff. And it's the same thing where they set it all up as though it's happening on a stage at a big concert, but they just film the stage and nothing else at any point. And also there's no audience sound and it's a bleak new world that we live in. And that's why we also had lots of riots and burned a lot of cars. Yeah, I didn't check the news. I didn't check the news. I'm assuming it's a normal thing I didn't check the news. I didn't check the news. I'm

assuming it's a normal thing for a normal country to do. Hmm. Now for a variation on our regular segments, plainly speaking, we're instead going to be balloonly speaking because it's kind of aircraft would you call an aircraft then? Well it's certainly monitored by the same databases and such so I'm going to say yes. Okay well why do you take us through what you have uncovered from a from a balloon-related perspective on air travel? So as as we've explored in a few recent episodes I've recently discovered that basically everything that ever happens to anyone in any kind of aircraft is in a public database that you can

look at from that nation's sort of Transport Safety Bureau. And there's a lot of stuff that happens is incredibly boring. If you look at like, today I was searching the Australian Transport Safety Bureau and there's a lot of like a lot of stuff that happens is incredibly boring. If you look at like today I was searching the Australian Transport Safety Bureau's incident register for things where the type of aircraft was listed as unknown because I thought that would be exciting. But it turns out they just use that as the placeholder for when there's not really an aircraft involved. So I got like I downloaded an Excel spreadsheet that just had like 10, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, I thous, I thous, I thous, I thous, I thous, I was thous, I was thousand, I was today, I was today, I was tho, I was today, I was today, I was today, I was today, I was today, I was today, I was today, I was today, I was today, I was today, I was today, I was today, I was today, I was th, I was th, I was th, I was th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thi I thi, I tho, I was tho, I was like, I was like, today, I was like, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, I was like, today, I was like, I was thi, they just use that as the placeholder for when there's not really an aircraft involved. So I got like, I downloaded an Excel spreadsheet that just had like 10,000 rows of incidents that all just said like, the safety officer during a routine inspection removed a fox carcass from the runway and the different species of birds that he'd also done that with.

So there's, yeah, basically everything, every single thing that happens is in there, including things that happen to hot air balloons. So I thought I would maybe give you guys a little bit of a taste of just some samples of the sort of things that happens in Australia with hot air balloons. I'm going to start here with an instant report from June 12, 2011. Hot air balloon struck high voltage power lines. Okay, that's a... Is that good? I'm... I'm gonna go ahead and call it. I'm no expert. Call it sub-optimal. All right, well that's interesting because I'm also going to read you a couple more here. September 30th, 2011.

During the descent, the balloon struck a power line. Okay, not still not great. Not what I would have done in the balloon. April 30th, 2012. During the approach, the balloon struck a power line. These are all different balloons. Yes, I believe so. May 5th, 2012, during the approach, the balloon struck power lines. The balloon sustained minor damage. Now, this does raise the question of what happened to the prior balloons, but... I mean, surprisingly a lot of these come off okay. Some of them don't.

June 18th, 2012, during the final approach, the pilot was made aware of a power line and initiated an emergency descent. That's where you just cut all the ropes to the final approach, the pilot was made aware of a power line and initiated an emergency descent. That's where you just cut all the ropes to the balloon. We're going to hit a power line in three or four hours. The envelope contacted the power line prior to landing and it remained draped over the power line. The pilot conducted an emergency evacuation, the balloon sustained minor damage. October 1st, 2012. During descent, the balloon struck a power line resulting in minor damage. Well how do you... I guess if you've... if you've hit a power line,

you're already pretty low down? I guess it could be like, you know, those sort of massive ones that are out in fields. Yeah, I think I would say a lot of them are those. Because I, like to hit other ones you'd have to basically be landing on like a suburban street. July 13th, 2013. On the morning of the 13th, July 2013, a Kavanaugh E.260 balloon registered VHFSR was being prepared for a charter tourist flight near Alice Springs Northern Territory. Due to the wind conditions at the time the passengers were preloaded into the balloon basket as it lay on its side. As

one of the passengers prepared to enter the basket their scarf became entangled in a fan that was being used to inflate the balloon's on-boy. That is a thing from a French movie by fucking what's his name, Juné, it's not a, that's not real. Consequently the passenger was rapidly drawn into contact with the fans' steel guard and the scarf was pulled tightly around their neck. Despite being provided with first aid and subsequent medical treatment, the passenger died as a result of their injuries several days later. What?

God? That is the worst way to die. It's so fucking bad. You could not like, you wouldn't mention it at the funeral at all. No one would refer to the matter of your death. Yeah, a light aircraft accident. Yeah. Terence, who passed away peacefully in hospital on a large amount of painkillers

several days after having his trachea crushed Like a say-oh biscuit January 28th 2015 during landing the balloon envelope contacted power lines November 11th 2015 only on the morning of the 11th. 2015 a Watco freight train was traveling southbound on the Frenches to East Northern Rail Line in Western Australia. Oh no. What's good when your balloon instant report starts with a train. It's cool foreshadowing. It's just setting up up. Oh boy. As the train rounded a left corner, approximately 3

kilometers north of northern, the driver saw a hot air balloon. The hot air balloon was low to the ground and inside the rail corridor to the left of the rail tracks. The train driver applied the brakes in an attempt to stop the train before it reached the balloon's location. However, there always insufficient distance to stop a cargo train from doing anything. Yes, other than... Apart from stopping at

the thing that they're prepared to stop it. Yeah, other than stopping somewhere that you know you will be stopping at like... He had a half hour twenty kilometers away or whatever. The driver also sounded the the pilot and the passages of the balloon that the train was approaching. Thank you. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the the the the the th. the the the the tho the the the the. the. the. the. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. tra. thea. thea. thea. thea. t pilot and the passengers of the balloon that the train was approaching. Thank you. Yeah, the pilot's just motioning back to the like to the burner, like what am I? Do you want me to fucking steer the thing? Is the? The train passed the balloon at slow speed before continuing on its journey. The balloon had been on an early morning scenic flight in the end of the scenic flight and on approach to land in a paddock next to the rail corridor when the train passed. The balloon was just above fence site and moving away from the rail tracks as the train passed.

Oh. So they're okay. There was no collision. Just a close. I thought that was going to be a During approach, the basket contacted a goalpost, resulting in damage to the goalpost. I hope it's okay. I reckon you'd have to hit a goalpost pretty hard. Yeah. Are we talking like a, are we talking like, you know, an NRL goalpost? Because those things are

so on. They didn't say. I mean, I probably looked at the location of a, are we talking like, you know, an NRL goal post? Because those things are so. Oh, they didn't say. I mean, I probably could have looked at the location of that one we could have figured from the state, but I'd say. Maybe an AFL goalpost would be more prone to bending. A single one, you know? October 15, their cord in the fan. Why are you guys wearing scarves? Just keep your scarf away from that fan. Don't do it. It's extremely like Indiana Jones to me that entire scene. There's a lot of scenes and movies where somebody gets a scarf caught or like a necktie court in some kind of press or fan or grinder of some kind.

Or forcefully fed into a paper shredder by a set of mischievous gremlins? I heard when that happens. Or a mulcher, you know, out in the desolate, snowy landscape of Fargo. March 31st, 2018, during landing, the balloon struck a power line. April 24th, 2018. After landing, the crown rope broke and a gust of wind blew the balloon envelope into power lines. Finally, August 15th, 2019, during circuit operations, the aircraft struck a sparrow. How?

I feel like the sparrow could get out of the way. How do you know? It's not a fast-moving object, your hot air balloon. Just hear a low. Like, surely even like... Was that a sparrow? The air displaced by the movement of the balloon would push a sparrow away. As I was driving yesterday I saw quite like quite close overhead.

A wedge-tailed eagle flying along and it was being harassed by what looked like two crows or two magpies And apparently the eagles are just not aerodynamic enough to like, you know pivot or or kind of Come around and catch them or anything if you watch different birds getting into it, you'll quickly see the like, oh, this one is just much more acrobatic than the other and can basically avoid them at a whim or whatever. So yeah, just watching this bird that could very happily tear these other two birds into little pieces and eat them all up, flying along just seemingly going, fuck off, fuck off. Just fuck off. I'm trying to, ugh, get out of you, fuck off. But I feel like a sparrow should be able to pivot away from a hot air balloon, is what I'm saying.

You would think that, yeah. So what have we learned? I guess there's too many power lines around the country is one of the first things I would say. We need to get those bad boys underground. Do you think when electricity was invented all the hot air balloon operators are like, we are so fucked. Well, it's okay. We'll just make the balloons go up more so that we go over the power lines. There's no way we'll continuously run into them. I've been on a hot air balloon once and it was the day that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. the. the. the. th air balloon once and it was the day that I proposed to my now wife Caitlin. Oh my sweet goodness that is fucking... And I am terrified of heights, I hate heights, as you have all assumed. And this was, it turns out, several days after a hot air balloon in New Zealand ran into power lines, caught on fire, and people, I'm sorry about this, but people either sat on fire and died in the balloon or jumped out of

the balloon and died hitting the ground, sometimes on fire. They got a real 9-11 situation. It's not good, yeah, the 9-11 of balloon incidents. And that was several days before I was to hop into this hot air balloon with an extremely weird man piloting it with an extremely weird mustache. I feel like that's got to be a given, right? Oh, oh, 100% sorry, that's a bit of a redundant statement. Yeah, it survived though. And I'm fine. How was the actual experience though? Because I was terrifying.

Yeah, I kind of think like, I would really like to go skydiving at some point, right? Because I think... I went skydiving. It's terrifying. Why are you doing these things? You hate doing things. Yeah. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I was extremely thi. I was extremely thi. I was extremely thi. I was extremely thoomki. I was extremely thi. I was extremely thoomkioli. I was extremely thoomkiolioliolioliolioliolia. I thia. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I was extremely thi. I was extremely tha. I was extremely hung tha. I was extremely hung tha. I was tha. I was, I was, I was extremely hungover from a mate's 21st the night before. So I got to bed about 1 a.m. and of course to go skydiving you have to wake up at about 1 a.m. So I was still drunk, I think, when I was loaded into the plane. And we, uh, we jumped out and old mates doing some like big turns and stuff. Oh mate, you're going to have to stop it with the turns or else neither of us are going

to be very happy with the situation. Landed on Redcliff Beach and immediately threw up on the beach in front of a bunch of children. Awesome. Just parachuted into these children's lives and vomited. Look at that. It's magical people from the sky. Oh my goodness. See, so like I would do skydiving because I think, you know, it's something where,

statistically, you're not likely to have any huge issues and if it's the first time you do it you've got to do like 10 and ones anyway right you got to have somebody on the back year who actually knows what they're doing and has packed the shoot and we'll release it and save your life and all that sort of stuff so so in that scenario I would at least feel like hey somebody's in control of this situation. Where I think what we're really getting the picture of here is, even with somebody piloting the balloon, there isn't that great a degree of control.

Yeah, Gaya is in control. That's right. So I guess those are our lessons for today. Don't travel to the Netherlands over New Year's Eve. And stay out of hot air balloons, I guess. Don't wear a scarf on them. Don't wear... You came out, got out of the van with your World War One flying a Biggles' scarf, flattened behind you.

Everyone's gonna think I look so fucking cool what's that big fan for? Time to lean against this fan looking cool as hell. Oh if I go over there it'll blow all dramatic. Oh it's a guy who doesn't understand how fans work. Exactly, exactly. Wait which waves the air going? Ugh! So don't do that.

And this week's crime pass is to travel to the Netherlands and point a bunch of heavy fireworks at somebody's face during a ride. Heavy fireworks. Huh. Strange. Heavy duty. That's it for us folks. Huh. Stretch. Heavy duty. That's it for us folks. Thanks for listening.

Happy New Year? Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I mean, happy holidays. War on Christmas. And hey, there's no way that 2021 can be worse. Yeah, what bad things can happen. All we, hey, we ate our vegetables in 2020. That's right. It's not Crem brulee from here.

Nothing but Vienetta Sunsets, 2021. That's right. See you next week everybody. Bye. Bye. the