Boonta Vista - EPISODE 183: Fuck Around And Find Trout

Episode Date: January 24, 2021

Lucy, Andrew, and Ben talk about getting parenting advice from the man who stole your car, the cow that stayed at-large from authorities for far too long, big fish dicks, and living at the airport Kirbying the security guards. Read Jesse's paper here: https://www.int-res.com/abstracts/meps/v658/feature/ Outro music: Fish - Mr Scruff *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Bonavista, episode 183. I am Ben and I am here at the live broadcast of the 2021 Triple J Hotest 100, or it's time to reveal number 7 on the countdown. No surprise to anyone, it's Dury Fuckwit by the Bong Cunts. Tune. With me here in the booth is my co-host Lucy, who is 20 years old and thinks Billy Joe Armstrong is an astronaut. Hi Lucy. Fucking Gidey. Is that what the kids are saying? What are the kids saying now? To kids say Gide? We have no way of finding out. I don't know. I think they say,

um, they've got a cool way of saying hello that we don't know. Yeah, that we don't know because we're not cool. Big, yi-tu bin. I think they're ripping off like South London accents now and they're saying, all right mate to each other. That's what kids do. Well, all right mate. To you as well. Oh, what's that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. they. they. they. they. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they. they're. they. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're they're they're they're th. th. th. th. thi. thi. tho. I say. they're saying. they're saying. they're saying. they're saying. they're saying. they're saying. they're right. All right mate. All right mate to you as well Oh, what's that? We've got someone calling in from what we can tell he's shirtless in a clamshell pool 20 UDLs deep has severe sunstroke has taken something he believes to be MDMA but is so far only making his hands go numb and he's having the time of his life. Hello, am I on the radio. Yeah, mate. You're on trin trin trin trin trin the trie the the the you're on triple. you're on triple you're on tri- you're on the you're on you're on tri-a the th th th th thri-a thri-a-a-y thi thi thi thi thi thi th th to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi th. th th. th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to thi to to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooo' to the the Yeah, mate, you're on the radio, mate. What? I'm on the radio? How, mate, yeah, you're on Triple J, mate. How you doing? Oh, sick one.

Oh, it's sick, isn't it? You have a bit of a party with your mate, so you're on the radio, man. Oh, Andrew, mate, yeah, you're on good time? Oh, I'm having a sick one, mate. Oh, sick, right, that's sick. I bet you're pretty loose, hey. Oh, we're getting so loose. We're having a sick party. You just listen to the hottest 100. I'm so fucking stoked to you what number six is. Hey, mate, just got a no swearing in the radio. Sorry, mate. to be? What do you reckon? What do you pick for number one? Oh, I reckon it's going to be...

Oh. Ooh. Yeah, a bit tough, is it, mate? Yeah. They're all so good. Yeah. I reckon it's going to be get on the beers remix by Mashden Kutcher. Mash. It's a pun. It's a pun on Ashton Kutcher. Ah, Mashed and Kutcher, it's a pun. It's a pun on Ashton Kutcher and the mashton, the part of the brewing process where you put stuff in a mashton. Oh yeah, I'm 22 and I remember mashups. Yeah, I love when you take a song from, like you take a clip from the news and then you make a song around it. What the fuck is wrong with Victorians? Like I get that lockdown was hard.

Don't put this on it as if you guys wouldn't do the same fucking thing. People from fucking Sydney are voting for fucking get on the beers? That was entirely. Oh, it's disgusting. Grow up 19 year olds. I can't I can't do radio. I can't do radio. Even like I get in the car and Elna's left triple J on and I'm like that's fine I'll leave it alone until I get to the shops which is a two-minute drive and halfway there like mashing buttons. I don't want to be one of these people that's talking about the triple J hottest 100. But it is genuinely astounding to me. That that I that I that I that I that I that I that I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the th the th the the the the the the the the the the. I can't the. I can't the. I can't the. I can't the. I can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can I I I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I don't want to be one of these people that's talking about the Triple J hottest 100, but it is genuinely astounding to me that I can like hear whatever is in the top five and I've never heard that song in my entire life. I have no idea what that is.

I think that's good. Not a single, not a single my bloody Valentine song among them, right? In fact Machine Gun Kelly was up there, so let's just calm down a little bit. Oh, it was very funny recently when we were hanging out, and Lucy was like, no, no, but Machine Gun Kelly's doing like pop punk now, so I think he's pretty cool. Well when you say, my bloody Valentine, yeah. What's the band you picture? Oh no, I'm I'm I got the wrong band? I think that were you thinking my chemical romance? No, although that also applies to Lucy. Hmm. Probably more so really. I'm just gonna have to sit here and take this I suppose. Oh, no, Lucy's a massive shoe gaze fan so no, yeah, big shoegase head. I definitely know what that is and what it sounds like. Yeah, she likes gazing at shoes online before she hits the Purchase button. Oh, God damn. I actually sat and watched her do that, so that's valid. That is what's the one's shoe gaze.

I'm very into shoegates. It's weird. You just like sit there over a lap, over a shoulder watching her laptop. Yeah, she just got this glazed expression and then after 40 minutes she says, look at all the colors on these sneakers. That's right. Having a boy over to my house and I'm like, you like shoe gaze and he's like, yeah, I like shoe gaze.

I think too. I have a bloody gander at these then. Yeah, we're about to spend a really confused two hours in the rest the rest the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the rest of this day. We're doing it now. I'm gazing it though. Oh boy. Mashed in Kutcher. Mashed in Kutcher, yes. Oh, it's, wait, it's two people. Yeah. So it's, let me spell this out for the folks at home. I think they might get it by now. No, I want to do the spelling. I want to do the spelling. Mashed. S-Sh. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. I spelled. S. I spelled. S. S. I spelled. S. S. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. M. M. I th. M. I th. M. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I think they might get it right now. No, I want to do the spelling. I want to do the spelling. Mashed, it's spelled M-A-S-H-D. Get out of here, letter E. We don't need you.

We're trimming things down. The letter N, capital N, Kutcher, which you may be familiar from the aforementioned Ashton Kutcher, on the television show Punked. Uh, I, it makes me, makes me think I like, what, what era was like girl talk thriving? I don't know, a long time ago, right? But what I do know is that I want you to look in the chat and I want you to look at a photo of mashed N-kutcher. Oh no.

Sorry, it's taken wild up like there. Mashed. And as we know, we love pictures on this podcast. Ha ha ha ha! Just have a little look there. Here's the thing, they're both both ties, which at least lets you know that they take this music business seriously. Yeah, but it's a skinny tie and a bow tie, which is like, that's not a business tie.

Very confused by the outfits here. Is this doing irony? So, sort of bomber jackets? I guess you describe those as maybe vinyl-ish bomber jackets. One has a long skinny tie and one has a bow tie. Yeah because you can't, you have to have a thing. It's like how the guys from Arnie Donner all have they, one of them wears just a shirt. One of them has an open collar button shirt so you can tell them apart. Also Mark doesn't wear shoes for some reason, deeply troubling. Put shoes on, OH and S, safety first. Just get some shoes.

By Mark Bonano's some shoes. That's what I know he talks. Yep. Um, just Dan Andrews apparently, I think acknowledge it. He was like how you're pretty sick. He didn't say that. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the beer. I the beer. I the beer. I the beer. the beer. the beer. the beer. the beer. the beer. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to.... to......................... say that. That's why he talks. I enjoy, I've enjoyed a beer from time to time. I like the beers as much as everyone else, but we need to take this coronavirus pandemic seriously. That's my impression of Dan Andrews. That's a great Dan Andrews. I feel like kissing you right now. Because I just hear the name Dan now just launched into a

state of hoardiness that is unsustainable. That's right it just really gets me going. Dan Akroyd. Oh close enough. You've only you've only got to get through that first syllable Dan and I'm like, uh, there. Hey uh I feel about chief health officer Jeanette Young. Thank you. Thank you Queensland Chief Health Officer Jeanette Young for keeping us safe. And she's a hot health officer with the grey hair? I don't judge women based on their appearance. I judge them based on what they do.

And she has kept Queensland safe. Fair enough. Here's my favorite fact about Ashton Kutch's TV show Punked. Okay. He made Zach Braff look like an asshole at one time. So this is the origins. This is punked origins. If you want to get into that.

So this is from Wikipedia. Originally, Ashton Kutcher and MTV were developing a program called Harassment. Great start. Oh, it's going well then. Called harassment, a hidden camera show which would feature pranks on regular people. However, a January 2002 prank involving a fake dead body at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas backfired and the couple who were targets of the prank sued Kutcher, MTV and the hotel for $10 million.

Yep, good call on that one. The concept was later retooled to involve celebrities instead. Yeah, because you can't punch down on celebrities, which is awesome. You can wear as celebrities as much as far as try. Say for example, you key to Zach Braff's car, he's a Porsche, it doesn't matter. He's got a million dollars. That's not a lot of money. He's got millions and millions of dollars. He can get another Porsche. He also sucks, so it's just funny. He's very bad, isn't he? He would immediately crowd fund another Porsche. Remember that? Remember the Zach Braff? Oh, what a time. Yeah, because you're locked out from the

traditional structures of finance, Zach Braff? Yeah, you fuck. Thank you for making the shins famous. Everything else. Go fuck yourself. Movie has not aged well. No. No it has done. Sure. It hasn't. I didn't think it was good at the start and it's aged. Garden State has aged even more poorly. I would love to watch it again because I also didn't think it was good at the start and I assume it's very bad now. Imagine if you went back and you were like, I fucking love this. It's. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. thu. took. took. took. ttook. took. ttttook. ttook. tho. thu. the th. th. the the th. to. to watch it again because I also didn't think it was good at the start and I assume it's very bad now. Imagine if you went back and you were like, I fucking love this. It's like if it seems like a man who did not have proper access to therapy. Like he's a man trying to convey that he's very, very sad and the only way can do it because he's super rich is to make a very self-indulgent movie about it, whereas the rest of us would maybe like tell a friend. Instead of making the movie Garden State, I would reach out to someone and say, hey, I'm not doing well right now. But he instead made the movie Garden State. And I think that's where he fucked up. Hmm. Really messed up on that one. It's also kind of embarrassing to write and make a movie that is like your idea of what like ideal relationships are like and then for it to literally become the trope for

movies about like a woman who is too good for you coming along and putting up with all of your stupid shit when she absolutely shouldn't. The Manic Pixie Dream Girl was like directly from Garden State wasn't it? Well I mean it's been like a thing for like a long time but it's pretty well heavily like that like crystallized the form. And fucking 500 days of summer was another like perfect one of those. Although you could argue that maybe its whole thesis was that that's not enough and that's not how that really works that's right but it's also a bad movie hard to say I will defend 500 days of

summer when was the last time you watched it all the time I'm watching it now all the time all the time every day now you can't have scorned for garden state and then they can't have because the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th is th is tho tho tho the the the tho. tho. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is the the the the the the the the the the the thea thea the the the the the the the the toooooooooooooooooo to to the the the th out to bed for 500 days of summer. 500 days of summer is deliberately going against that trope. That's the idea of it. Anyways, I'll fly you in a fist flight over this one someday. Fair enough. KFC car park, you're me. One hour. Meet you in the Sun Coast, the Sunny Coast.

Which one's that one? That's the North one. Yeah, that's the better better the the the thaer of of of of of of of of the sunny coast, which one's that one? That's the north one, yeah, that's the better of the two, so that's a good call. Meet you there in one hour. Fucking Malulabar KFC and you can beat the shit out of me. And he won't get off on it, he's weird. No, no, it's not a weird thing I'm just saying, I'm not a fighter. Yeah, if I don't seem like I'm putting up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up I'm putting up I'm putting up I'm putting up I'm putting up I'm putting thing thing th th th th th th th th th th th th th th like I'm putting like I'm putting like I'm putting like I'm putting like I'm putting like I'm putting like I'm putting big smile on my face through the whole thing, it's just because he respects women. It's because I'm thinking about a happy memory from earlier in my life. Lying on the ground getting stomped on thinking about how much he's empowering a woman right now. I'm a generous man. I feel like the one of the most persistent like underlying currents of disagreement in my marriage is that I

don't want to go to KFC. You don't want to go to... Why don't you want to go to KFC? Dog shit, that's why. I've said some podcasts before but that's the thing I miss the most think about KFC all the time. Every time I drive past a KFC I'm just like, thuk I could eat some KFC. Anytha th f f'm always like I would love it if this was wetter. I would love it if someone just gave this a quick spray with a hose before they served it to me. Exactly. Why are you saying this like it's, you sound like you're being sarcastic. What I want is an 11 or whatever numbers these come in, a hundred piece bucket of chicken and I want no one to look at me and I want to just slowly eat it over the course. seven hours when I'm high out of my mind on the couch watching Brobo Cup. I just want a box that has every possible item from the menu in it. You just like they put a name on a box.

You don't even have to know what's in it. They're just going to throw whatever they've got in the kitchen in a box for you and I think that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's I love one of everything, thank you. Just throw it all in a fucking bucket. No, they don't need to be separated from each other. Just tip the cold slur in there. Can we agree on this? Dirtiest restaurants in the game? Probably.

The inside of the restaurants? Yeah. We have a very few, oh, sorry, a bunch of quite classy, up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up, up, up have a very few, sorry, like a bunch of quite classy upmarket KFCs here, they're very clean inside, yeah. I feel like everyone who works at KFC here is barely 14 and a half years old. It's like they won't employ anyone over the age of 15 at KFC. Oh yeah, that's why I'm going to start playing 15 year old manager. The 15 year old manager will not be enforcing any of the rules. Definitely not. Just I feel like every KFC I step into, the bins are completely full and overflowing

out the front downwards of the ground. Hungry Jacks is never in a good state. No, Hungry Jacks is always filthy. Like it feels like the entire, like every surface you could possibly toucest. A little sticky. Yeah. Sticky plays. That's part of the appeal the appeal the appeal the appeal the appeal the appeal the appeal the appeal the appeal.. the appeal the appeal the appeal. the appeal. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's thi. thi. I's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I I I I I I I I I I I's is to th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I's is is is th. I I I I's is th. I I I's is th. I's is th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's thi. I's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thea. tea. tea. tea. tte adhesive. A little sticky, yeah. Sticky plays. Yeah, it's part of the appeal. Interesting.

I like it when my food doesn't move on the table, thank you very much. Yeah. I would accidentally knock something over. Instead you want to bump your burger and have it remain completely stationary on the table. If anything you want to knock your burger with your head and the bottom part stays at the table and everything else goes flying off. Actually, maybe I'll revise this and say the filthiest fast food joints in the country are always the ones on highways between major cities. Oh, when I'm saying hungry jacks, I'm specifically picturing the gimpy hungry

jacks, which I've eaten out thousands of times and is nasty as fuck. Yeah I feel like there's always one of those like roadside centers that will stop at a McDonald's or a hungry jacks or whatever between like here in Victoria when we go and see family and stuff and every time you just like none of these tables have seen a cloth in many many moons. Sad business walking around trying to find a table you can have seen a cloth in many, many moons. Sad business. Walking around just trying to find a table.

You can slide in that. If you just bring your own like pressure cleaner, you can probably easily solve that problem. It's walking in a blitz a table. Ah, perfect. And it is all the kind of furniture that you could just pressure wash. Yeah. And I think that's on purpose. Yeah. Oh man, the fucking, the hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry. the hungry. the hungry. the hungry. the hungry. the hungry. the hungry. the hungry. the hungry. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's just just. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. te. te. try. try. ty. try. try. try. try. try. Just. Just. trythat's on purpose. Yeah. Oh man, the fucking the Hungry Jacks in Queen Street Mall, Brisbane's, Queensland's most famous Hungry Jacks. That is a nightmare fucking place.

The sort of upstairs eating area there is never seen by staff ever. Yes. Right. I'm picking the Swanson Street, McDonald's, the swansten street hungry jacks also has an upstairs, which has th th th th th th th th th th th th th that's, that's, which does no longer exist, but it's probably the same. Oh, rip. I was going to say the Swanson Street, Hungry Jacks, also has an upstairs, which has never been visited by staff. Right. That's where I used to hang out when I was an emo kid. All the emo kids used to hang out up there will be 14 year old Goths outside. You kind of want to just go up and be like, thank you for keeping the flame alive. Yeah, I see a lot of them in Melbourne lately. A lot of young Goths. It's really beautiful. They're still hanging out in the slender street steps. What's up with the kids? What are they doing? I have a child, let us know. I would more like to know what the to know what is to know what is to know what is the hungry jacks that attracts the young Goth.

Is it the misery? I think it's a convenient meat up location and also the delicious food and the free refills. Do they have free refills? I mean, last time I went to their hungry jacks when they did have free refills was like nine years ago, so hard to say. Oh boy. You know they often have hungry their their their their their their their their their they're their they're they're their they're their they're they're their they're their their their their their their hungry years ago so hard to say. Oh boy. You know they often have hungry jacks at an airport. Oh God, there he is.

They really, it do be like that though. They do. It's always a hungry jacks there. I'm always going to the Brisbane airport one before I'd fly anyway. That's my little dip into that hungry jacks. I would love, I would love for an American to go to an Australian airport and walk up to one of the crispy creams that is in an Australian airport.

And hear how much a donut cost? And order one donut and then faint when they hear that it costs like $18. What sick fucks are getting a fucking crispy cream at the airport? Because obviously it's a viable business model for them But no one I know is purchasing them It's fucking disgusting And you're going to say let me let me get a dozen donuts and they go you will need a second mortgage on your house

We're gonna get you to talk to our finance guys sitting the desk over there It's got the green visor on I can't get them in a 7-Eleven. They're not a fancy donut anymore. They're not exciting anymore. Apart from that, was weren't people lining up for free Krispy Kremes? We were talked about this on the podcast during the pandemic? Yes, right. Insane behavior. And then Krispi cream were like we were like crispy cririririririririri, we were like we were like we were like we were like we were like we were like we were like we were like we were like we were like we were like we were like we they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they reme were like, uh, we didn't really think about that before we did it. Oh, coronavirus! That's right. Just remember, novel coronavirus. COVID-19 pandemic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We thought it had been pretty quiet. That's why.

We were trying to come up with some initiatives, get people in stores. We are we able to be reading the news. Too busy inflating the prices of our donuts. Ter th the the the th th th. Ter a the th. Tera th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. C. C. th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. th. th. th. C. th. th. thi. thi. C. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. are reading the news, too busy inflating the prices of our donuts. Terrible donuts, some anti-Crispy cream putting it out there officially. Hey Duncan Donuts, you've been put on blast. And look we can we can consider which airport foods we would like to eat on a long-term basis after talking about this next story. A little bit of plainly speaking. Uh, this is your captain speaking. Please return your seat to their upright positions

as we are coming in hot on another edition of Plainly Speaking. Lucy, I believe there's a new story about a man who was living your dream. He sure was. I mean, it probably wasn't that great for him to be honest, but just so everyone gets to hear the great headlines that Ben puts in the notes. Not necessary. It's just for us. It's like that Tom Hanks movie, the man who lived in an airport. Remember that? I think I won an award. Classic Flick. I can't remember what was called the Terminal. It's a good movie. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to the to the the to the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi the airport perhaps, something like that. The Terminal, I think. It's a good movie. It's very enjoyable. I was reading an interview with Tom Hanks that was like scanned out of a newspaper in 1985

where he had just done splash and volunteers and stuff like that. And there was asking about doing sequels because Ron Howard immediately wanted to do a sequel to Splash, and he's being asked about sequels to his other movies. And he was like, no, I mean, you know, obviously it depends on the thing you're doing. These last couple of movies I've shot, I feel like the story is just done. And he was like, Mad Max.

Now, there is a franchise that has all of this scope this scope this scope tha scope tha scope thi scope thi scope the scope the scope thus scope the scope the scope the scope the scope the scope the scopethat has all of this scope to keep expanding and having more movies. I was like, look at you in 1985, Tom Hanks, really understanding the scope and scale of the Mad Max concept. Good for Tom Hank's anecdote. He's truly America's sweetheart. Truly is. All right, this is from... Remember how he was the first high-profile coronavirus case in Australia? Yeah, I forgot the Tom Hanks had coronavirus. On the Gold Coast? It's amazing. This has been Tom Hanks Corner. You want to hear about this airport guy or fucking what?

Yeah, I guess. It's very much so. This is from NPR. Man allegedly hid from coronavirus and authorities in Chicago Airport for three months. One of those probably easier to hide from. Like you could see authorities coming. You're not like looking at particles of coronavirus and being like, dark! Yeah, I don't know if you can. Also hiding from coronavirus in the airport, I don't know. Anyway. California man was arrested Saturday and accused of hiding in a restricted area of Chicago's O'Hare International Airport for three months.

The man told police that COVID-19 had rendered him too scared to travel home to California, fair enough. So he hid in the airport, not a great place to be hiding from COVID. Surviving on food provided to theirnightipi. provided by strangers. United Airlines staff spotted 36-year-old Aditya Singh and requested identification. They said he removed his mask and presented a badge which belonged to an airport operations manager who reported it missing last October, according to the Chicago Tribune.

That's wild. So he's just found this badge, I work at the airport now. I work at the airport. And they're like, sure. Seeing faces felony charges of criminal trespass in a restricted area of an airport as well as misdemeanor theft charges. Oh let a man live. Let him live. What's he doing? Also what's a restricted area really? Where is he living? I'm curious. Oh here's a big airport. Where are you hanging out bro? We're an anti-borders podcast and also an anti-signs on doors that

tell you can't go in there podcast. Exactly. Hey my tax dollars pay for this airport. That's right. I don't know. I should be able to go anywhere. I'm I am probably like if I was allowed to go into the restricted areas of anywhere I got like a free pass for one place. to. to. to. to. to. the the to. the to. the the the the the to. to. the the the the the the the to. the the the the the to. to be. to be. to be. I. I to be. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm probably t. I'm probably t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm. I'm tto go into the restricted areas of anywhere, I got like a free pass for one place, airport should be right up there. Like I'm so fucking curious. I want to go behind the scenes at an airport so fucking bad. Is he hanging out somewhere where he can see planes? You know, is he having the time of his life in there? Because this sounds like the life. Do you think, you're wondering whether he can see planes at the air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air got a good view of the planes, you know? Where is he hanging out? Also, O'Hare is pretty

good. You got that beautiful light tunnel at O'Hare. It's one of my favorite airports. The what? The what? It's a big, beautiful rainbow light tunnel between terminals. Just's very nice. O'Hare Light Hole. Sure. See, it could be a truly cruel irony here. It could either be that he's, that he's living Lucy's fantasy of like, you know, being locked in a toy store after hours and getting to run around and do whatever you want, except it's an airport. That's what I'm picturing. Scampering around in the cargo hole of an A380, all kinds of fun stuff. Or he's just like back in the restricted area that is just like a series of hallways and storage closets and like employee lounges.

Apparently people are getting food for him. So I assume he's wandering the airport. Yeah, just go in places, you know. Employee lounges? Apparently people are getting food for him, so I assume he's wandering the airport. Yeah, just go on places, you know. So yeah, so I guess he gets to come out and watch planes, like Tom Hanks in that movie, the man who lives in an airport. So he's done nothing wrong so far, in my opinion. Cook County Judge Susanna Ortiz set bail at $1,000. She also said if he came out with the money, tha, tha, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is thi. So, is thi. thi. tooooooooooan, is tooooan, is toooooooooooooooo. So, is thi, thi, thiand dollars. She also said if he came out with the money he would be prohibited from returning to the airport. Oh boo. How's he going to get home? That's rude. Yeah. The hearing took place

Sunday where the judge was concerned that an individual had remained undetected in a secure area for so long. And fair enough. The court finds these facts and circumstances quite shocking for the alleged period of time that this occurred, Ortiz said. Being in a secured part of the airport under a fake ID badge allegedly, based upon the need for airports to be absolutely secure so that people feel safe to travel. I do find these alleged actions do make him a danger to the community. What of picking up a pass some dipship dropped on the ground? I'm getting the vibe that the judge the judge the judge the judge the judge the judge the judge the judge the judge the judge the judge the judge the judge the judge the judge the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I'm getting the vibe that the judge isn't too mad.

She's only said bail it a thousand dollars and then prohibited him from the airport? I don't know. I would, uh, I think people need to start coming up with ways to do like, um, you know the whole like ethical hacker thing? No. Yes. You know the whole like ethical hacker thing? Nice. What of you likes computers? I don't know idea what you're talking about. So ethical hacking is basically people who hack into systems and people's accounts and all that sort of stuff,

but then immediately disclose either to the organization or corporation or government body or whatever. Like if you find out there's like a vulnerability in say a dick cage that locks onto your penis. Yeah. To immediately tell the company and the wider community, hey, I have found the security vulnerability and this is what you should try and do to fix it. Or the guy who hacked Donald Trump's Twitter password by guessing that it was MAGA 2020.

Yeah, and he did the same thing which was immediately just like, you know, turned the account back over and said, hey, you should try doing a real password and also I don't know get him a password manager whatever it might be So this man is ethically hacking the airport Airport security yeah, yeah, there's security flaws. Yes people people should find a good way to then turn around and say, Ah, I have helped you out by exposing these security vulnerabilities over a long time but not doing anything malicious. During that I didn't steal food or anything, you know? And then a judge should be like, thank you sir. Let us get you a hovercraft back home because you're scared of planes now. Hovercrafts, pretty cool. Yep, anyway respect to this guy. Did nothing wrong. No. It's threats. I'm impressed., pretty cool. Yep, anyway, respect to this guy.

He did nothing wrong. Three months too, I'm impressed. It's pretty funny. How do you change your clothes you're reckoning? Oh, well, I mean, he'd been traveling so probably out of suitcase the stuff. I like to think he was just a kill and security guards out of the today. A new outfitthanip Which is not a crime. Not a crime. He was doing hit man missions. Exactly.

Just pile of bodies and it's a big walk-in fridge. Every single day. A little security outfits out the back. Another guy walks in and says, uh-oh, something's going on and then he gets killed. Donk. Yeah. No, you, well it'd be fun though, because you could kill a different person every day and take their outfit and then go and do something fun that day, you know. Put on the chef's hat. It's an official recommendation from this podcast. Yep. Live in an airport and live a different life every day by killing a different person there. And putting their clothes on, yeah.

If you can find a way to do it without killing anybody, more power to you, but we haven't sorted that out yet. For all of our ingenuity, nothing works quite as well as doing the thing where you put one hand on the back of the person's head and the other one on their chin, quick clockwise rotation, snap the neck, they fall to the floor, you immediately start taking their pants off. And then after a minute you're like, oh yeah, the clothes. And you take their clothes. Oh dear.

Well, that could be your life, Lucy. You know? Well, I'm thinking about it. I don't know what airport would really be worth it here though. The Cambrot. Living in The Camber Airport. The Canberra Airport. Living in the Canber Airport. Harvey Bay Airport. Asking strangers to give you a crispy cream, getting told to fuck off.

Is there even a crispy cream at the Cambrot? There is. Cool. Crippy cream then. Drink at that one bar? What else is in there? That's it. That's th th th th th there? That's it. That's pretty much it. There's like a bar in a cafe store and flip through the magazines.

Yeah, exciting stuff. Hi everybody, it's me. It's Theo. Now I guarantee you I'm more afraid of recording this promo than you are of listening to it, so hear me out. If you haven't already, maybe check out our Patreon. It's a great way to support the show and it gives us the ability to actually dedicate time to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to the the the the to the the the the the the their their their their to their their their their, their, their their their their their their, it's, it's their, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their, their their, their the, the, the, the, the. thea. thea. their thea' thea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'e. their their their their their the show and it gives us the ability to actually dedicate time to this thing. You'll get all of our bonus episodes, it's over 300 extra episodes in total and we'll set up a feed over there with none of these promos so you won't have to hear this ever again. You'll also get access to our Discord, which honestly is turned into a nice and funny place full of mostly normal people to hang with. So. And. And. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. And th. the, the, the, the, the, the, th-up, th-up, thi, the, th-up, th-up, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that the, to to to to to to to to to to to to to that the, that that th. So that's Patreon.com slash Bunter Vista. Check it out. Ben. What? What? What is this next item? Do you want to explain? What an incredible segue. Do you reckon you could just smack your hand on the big nature corner theme there for me? Well, yeah, I wasn't sure whether it was... Great segue. Ben, what's this? And then I, I, I'm going to ask you to do it is, to, to, to, to, to to just, to just, to just, to just, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the. the. the. the. the. the. thooooooooooooooo. the. the. the. to-a, th there for me? Well yeah I wasn't sure whether it was... Great segue, Ben what's this? And then I actually sorry what I'm going to ask you to do is I'm going to get you to do that and then perfectly the end of it also play the Dutch corner theme. Okay and then you can just edit this

whole chunk out. Yeah absolutely I'm going to the place. I've been on Wilt and miss her, nature corner, rubber crab, sniffed my dear. Everybody, I am from Holland. Isn't that beautiful? Beautiful. Hey, come and check me out in my DJ act, Mastin Quitcher. This is from Dutch News. N.L. The one and only source of Dutch news for this podcast.

As far as I can tell, yes, I'm not getting the news from anywhere else. Natural History Museum bags electrifying new addition to collection. This stone martin which plunged much of the Arctahurk in Gelderland into darkness on Tuesday morning by making its way into an electricity substation, killing itself in the event, has joined the Rotterdam Natur-Historish Museum's collection of Dead Animals with a Story. I wonder what natural historic means. Could be anything. No one knows how the animal managed to get into the substation. Once inside it, short-circuited three 10,000-volt transformers,

leaving the inhabitants of Borkulo, Ruello, Marien Velder, Beltram, and Nieder in the dark for some hours. Now, when they say, no one knows how it got in, I figure it probably found a hole and crawled through. Like, it's not like it used burglar's tools or catapulted itself onto the roof or anything. What animal has done this? A stone martin? What? That's not a real thing. So it's sort of like a pine martin, but it's a stone martin.

It's like a little weasily ferret type son of a bitch. Sure. Stone Martin. It's like a little weasily ferret type son of a bitch. Sure. Uh, yeah, look at them. They're fucking cute and I'm sad that it got nuked. Oh, I'm in peace to this wonderful little creature. Please open a search engine of the show, Duck Dock Go. If you Google Stone Martin, the second image that comes up, at least for me, is this dead Stone Martin that we're talking. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Martin, the second image that comes up, at least for me, is this dead Stone Martin that we're talking about.

Oh, no. It's like a little mongoose. Oh, it's adorable. It's like a little mongoose, ferret, weasel type deal. They're so cute. Oh, he's precious. I'm so sad that he died doing something important, inconveniencing the Dutch. Thank you for your service.

It did not take museum curator Brayam Langeveld long to scoop up the animal for the mutants collection where, once out of the museum fridge and prepared, it will join other hapless victims of electrical and other mishaps. We have quite a lot of experience with electrocuted animals in our collection. A typical characteristic is the smell of singed hair. This stone martin also had that unmistakable smell, Langerville said. Man, they are strange people. You know the smell we're all familiar with of a whole animal you have burned. Everybody knows the smell of the burned animal.

The stone mud has no pelt or whiskers left to speak of and its cramped posture and charred feet speak of the enormous heat to which it was exposed, Langerville said. It must have died instantaneously and is not likely to have suffered, he also said. Director of the museum, Keys Mullicker, is happy with the new edition. It's another sad but illustrative instance of the clash between people and animals. Even now in 2021, this hapless stone martin reminds us that we should pay more attention to the wildlife around us. That is so true. Thank you, Keys. Thank you, Keys.

The high-voltage stone martin, as it has been dubbed, will be joining the CERN Martin, which paralyzed the large hadron collider in Switzerland. Oh, God. And the groaning electro-martin, which plunged the teaching hospital in the provincial capital into darkness. What are these guys doing? Martins are going wild out there. Something's going down with Martins. Oh, there's more. Clearly a huge security vulnerability for this country, which is that they need to stop,

they need to stop propping the back door open with a brick. Patch up your holes, please. The collection is also home to the electrocuted Verdistwif, a blackout pigeon, which affected street lighting in Friesland, Ameland, and Tertulling. It's also home to the G-shocked the rat, the shocked rat, which gnawed through the cables providing electricity to some 9,000 households in Zewolder and disrupted mobile phone signals in January last year. These are all like,

these are all like within 12 months. What the fuck is going on? What is happening over there? The first edition to the collection in 2021 is the face mask gull, which was hit by a car and was found to have the elastic band of a carelessly discarded face mask wrapped around one of its feet. Oh, that one's just sad. That's just a bird that got some litter on it and died. The Rotterdam Nataristurish will not reopen until the lockdown is over, but meanwhile,

the collection can be enjoyed online. Enjoy it is really doing some fucking animals. Yeah. Everybody gather around the computer, come on children. It is time to look at this burnt-as-fork weasel. Unfortunately, you cannot smell it through the computer. I will burn some of my own hair to simulate the smell. Close your eyes, children. It's like you are there. We've got to get Stone Martins on our side. They're doing work. They are doing the practice that we only dream of. That's right.

And they're so cute. So cute. I hope that Stone Martin is feasting well in the halls of Valhalla. I hope so do. Accidentally knocking out their electricity somehow. I am picturing like comically shocked animals too, with their hair standing up like their electricity somehow. I am picturing like a comically shocked animals too, with their hair standing up like their Yahoo! Serious.

Yeah, I don't know. What kind of fuse box they got in Valhalla? I think they're operating on a like whale oil lamps kind of basis up there. Okay. That's my assumption. I don't know. I'm not an expert on the Norse afterlife. I wonder if that requires whales to also die and go to Valhalla. I believe every whale deserves to go to Valhalla. But do they have to die like- I think Valhalla's only whales. It's pure whales out there. Get up there, you're the one person that's been late.

What more whales than I thoult th th are tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thus tho thus thus thus thus thus that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their w their their the the the the the the the the thought would be here. Whalehall. This ratio is way off. I believe that's what Fowl Haller is north for. It's short for Whale Hall. That's so true. It's a real blubber party in here. Oh boy.

Continuing Nature Corner. This is from United Press International. I've chosen to say it that way, for fun. It's an American company I'm pretty sure, but that's a fun way to say it. Loose Cow in Massachusetts captured after six months. We're all over him. He's been having fun like the airport guy. Good for him for her. Sorry. Killing security having fun like the airport guy. Good for him. I'm killing security guards, putting their clothes on. A cow that was on the loose in a Massachusetts town from all then six months was finally lured into a trail. It's had like the entire police force on this for half a year.

Tommy Lee Jones, I want a perimeter set up. Average cow can walk one kilometer per hour. He has been gone for half an hour. He can be anywhere within 500 meters. He's gone. He's gone. Did you see the body? Then he's not gone. Dartmouth animal control said the black cow escaped from a farm in Westport last June

and have repeatedly evaded capture by fleeing into wooded areas. I don't know, I've seen cows. They don't go that fast. But don't flee. That is not how I describe it. It may be meandered into some wooded areas. How's it? A little jaunty walk. Yeah, they see someone to go, oh, I'm going the other way now. Oh, I guess over here. I'll see you guys later. The perp is strolling towards the wooded area. He was 15 meters to your west.. He was 15 meters to your west. He is now 16 meters to your west.

You're west. I don't understand how directions work. He's eating a daisy, get him. Quote, unless we get people calling us and letting us know where this cow was going, I really can't do anything. Animal Control Officer Sandra Cosselin told the Dartmouth week in June. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack. Yeah but imagine your needle weighs like 400 kilos. There's probably literal haystacks out

there. This cow is much bigger than those haystacks. Because the thing about the whole needle in a haystack metaphor is it's something very small. It's smaller than the hay itself. Yeah, and it's also in the midst of, you know, a lot of hay. Whereas, you know, you put a cow anywhere up to 100 meters away from me. I can spot it. You put a cow in a forest, it's still like not going to be able to hide behind a tree. I'll be like, oh, there's the cow.

That's a cow right there. I can see it because it's huge and it's a cow. Ah, there's the back third and the front there's a middle third behind that tree. Just loving the idea of this woman receiving calls from journalists and being like, what do you want me to do about it? You know? Control the animals? That's not my job. Oh, fuck.

Walking into the forest and seeing the car behind a tree and going, could be anything. Well, I'm stumped. Could be people doing pantomime, and I can't get involved in that. I need to just back away slowly. My house, oh sorry, local resident Kara Xavier said the cow spent many of the ensuing months wandering on her property which is set back in a wooded area. It's just, she's been walking around and it's not like looking for a needle in a haystack.

It's in Kara's backyard. Also the fact that she's kept spotting it, like you know where the cow is. There's that cow. Hey that cow no one can find is there again. Oh well. And if you spotted the cow how how hard would it be to just like you know walk down there and just just lead it up to your place? Put in the garage, you know. Extremely easy. It's unbelievably easy. Hmm.

My house is set way back in the woods and the only other house back here is my sister's saviors hold south coast today. My 21 month old would look out the window for it and my sister's three and a half year old twins would also look for it. Well, good, good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good they they they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd theyins would also look for it. Well, good. They got their best people on that one. Yep, we've got a two-year-old and some three-year-olds and we reckon we're really going to nail this one. They're both animal-controlled deputies, I believe.

Animal control said the Westport farmer relinquished his rights to the cow and has since moved away from the area. It seems seems so to to to then a th th thue thue thine thine thus thine thine thine thine thus thus thus thus thus thi thi thi thi thi the area. It seems something so ceremonial about that phrasing to me. I hereby renounce this cow and all claim to this cow this is a free cow now. I like the idea that this guy was so tortured by this cow that they could not capture that he just quit farming. Fuck it quit farming. Fuck this cow, fuck you, fuck all cows. I'm done. I'm gonna go drive a city bus. The cow was captured in a trailer at the end of a month-long operation. Like they got the trailer out and then a month later they got the cow into the trailer.

Well a month later the cow walked into the trailer of its own accord is what it fucking sounds like. It took a wrong turn. by mistake. It was like a month a month a month a month a month a month the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho the the the the the tho tho the the tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. troooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tr. toy. toy. t its own accord is what it sounds like. It took a wrong turn by mistake. It was like, all right, if I go right, I'm going to go to the trailer, so I gotta make sure I go left. Ah, fuck! Quote, after a month-long project to try and capture the cow, it was finally lured into a trailer that they have placed on my property, Xavier, saviia, the property, the the the the the the tha, th., the the th. the the the the tho, tho, tho, their, tho, tho, tho, thr-and, thr-and-upe. thr-upe, thr-an, tha-upe, toe, toe, toe, too, too, too, too, too, too, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, th, th, th. is is is, th. is, th. is, th. is, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thr-a, thr-a, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, too, too, too, too, toe, t the endeavor that involved cameras and trap doors and many nighttime stakeouts from Dartmouth animal control. No it didn't. No, it didn't. I feel like it would be easier to see a black cow in the daytime. Maybe that's part of the issues they've just been doing night stakeouts this whole time.

Yeah, I think that might be it. In the field, in gilly suits. It's a wait for this cow. Oh, subject-acquired. Trapped doors. Was they like dug a trap that the cows can like fall into? What's going on here? I'm assuming it's something that they've set up to, so that like, if they can get the cow to wander into the trailer, they can like automatically close the door behind it. That's how I'm taking it. Animal Control said the cow will stay at a Dartmouth farm temporarily

before being executed by the state for its many crimes. Yep. That's definitely what it says. It actually says, before moving to a permanent home and an animal sanctuary. Which is awesome to me. Like, they're just going to have a special pen just for the freedom cow. They don't tread on me cow. And yeah, after all of this, they're going to take it somewhere and then just let it out in a different field, you know? That cow deserves its freedom. I love this cow very much.

I love this story so much, just because like every escaped animal story is like, you know, a terrifying violent baboon escaped and we got it within six hours, like this cow was just just been free. Just walking around half a year. I don't get well like does something bad happen if the cow just cruises around in the woods and eats and sleeps. Yeah I don't know if you can just have free cows. I guess so. Although it sounds like it was just happy hanging out on this lady's property. It did do pretty good didn't it? I feel like you could just have one or two loose cows and that's that'd be good.

Every town I should have a couple of free cows. Couple of cows just hanging out, you know? Everyone sort of takes upon themselves to look after the cow. There's a social service. I love that. You're gonna start campaigning for Brisbane's cow. So you like, sound like a real cow munist right now. A communist. Yeah, okay, yeah, there we go. Yeah, okay. There we go. Yeah, I don't know about. Cow, moo-moonist.

Yeah, I don't know if you can try and fit both of those. It's hard. It's hard, because as soon as you say, Mew, you've ruined the moo part of the very clever pun that you were doing. You know? Yeah. I got kids so I'm allowed to say stuff like this. It's true. This is very true. And that's why I'm going to knock up some broad, uh, to give myself license to do that. Yep, license to pun.

It's pretty good. Uh, more often than not, though, you can just kind of insult your kids, and that'sthe time. And I do. Often in a quiet voice. Hey, little shit, fuck you. Whether you say a quiet voice to them, so their parents can't hear, or just like under your breath for your own benefit. Both are fine.

Yeah, as long as nobody else is around, you can be like, what's your deal? What's your deal? And they say. Just grabbing a little kid by the color and being like, what's your deal, little boy? What's your fucking thing? What's your fucking problem, huh? What's your problem, Brayden?

It's just Star Wars? Is that all you care about? Star Wars? Huh? Little fuck? Oh, coming. I'm sending him in right now. I'm like that man yelled at me and the parents be like no he didn't. What were you doing wrong? I yell are people's kids but I'm very psychastic for them. You sure are. You are so rude to other people's children. But they don't know. They don't know that you're being rude. Yeah, that's true.

Don't give an example of something you would sarcastically say to somebody else's child? Uh, look, there's, there's the most basic one of all, which is somebody's kid shows you something goofy that sucks and you go, cool. They don't know, they think that it's cool. Look it's simple, don't bring your kids around me if they suck, that's all I'm saying. If they're cool, that's fine. Oh you got dope kids? No worries. It's dope or what?

I don't want kids bad vibes around me. Just before the barbecue, I just want to check. Your kids are like, they're dope, right? Like they're on it, like they got their shit locked down, like they're cool? Yeah. I got two questions. Do your kids fucking suck? And also, is a their their. Do they have a shirt that says sarcasm is one of the many services I provide? Yeah, yeah, if so don't bring him around. They're not going to enjoy this. Not going to enjoy this barbecue. We've got a lot of Nature Corner

today. Yep. Here is an important press release from the University of Adelaide or as as some people call it, RADLAID. No, I don't think that's true. You reckon anybody calls it that? No, sarcastically maybe. I wouldn't know. I don't understand psychosome. Fish sex organs boosted under high CO2. Research from the University of Adelaide has found that some species of fish will have higher reproductive capacity because of larger sex organs under the more acidic oceans of the future. Nice. Nice. Climate change given them fish big dicks. Climate change given big natrals. So some fishies.

Who knows what sex organs means? We're going to look down in the ocean. There's going to be a trout with just huge honkers. That's weird. That's mahi-mah-mah-mah-mah-mah. That's strange. It's going out there. Mahimah-hi indeed. Is that whiting look like it's hanging dong?

Anybody else see that? Damn, that barramondi is pagin. What the next 10 minutes is going to be listing all the type of fish to we know. Do you think that that will help with like fishing competitions when you're doing by weight? Thanks to the extra one kilo from this massive dong really put you over the edge. All fishers now weigh 100% more due to their body-sized dicks. Fish will also have testicles after this. 100% more due to their body-sized dicks. Fish will also have testicles after this.

They're just going to have our genitals, which is pretty cool when you think about it. That is what this article says very explicitly. Fish are going to have big balls. Human genitals. We have large human penises. Published in PLOS biology, researchers say that far from the negative effects expected under the elevated CO2 levels in our oceans predicted for the end of the century, these fish capitalized on changes to the underwater ecosystems to produce more sperm and eggs.

Capitalize seems like such a, like they're describing us an active decision, doesn't they're like, wow, there's heaps of CO2 in here. I'm going to get a fucking big dick. Big, big dick, shoot a lot of ocean ropes. They also look after them better, enhancing the chances of reproductive success. Quotes, the warming oceans absorb about one-third of the additional CO2 being released into the atmosphere from carbon emissions, causing the oceans to acidify. Says lead author, Professor

Ian Nagelkirken. Okay so I feel like you maybe got Nagelkirken, his first name is Ivan. I have a Nagelkirkin. Sorry I was I was distracted by reading ahead to the next name. Nagelkirkin. From the University's Environment Institute and Southern Seas ecology laboratories. Quotes, we know that many species are negatively affected in their behavior and physiology by ocean acidification. But we found that this species of temperate fish, the common triple fin, both males and females had larger gonads under conditions of ocean acidification. I love a winner, ladies got some big gonads.

I don't know enough about biology to understand whether that's rare or not. Is that true of all fish? Uh, maybe? If you're a fish biologist that listens to this podcast, and I know there's at least one. Please write in to me. Please write in Jesse. Thank you. What the fuck. What th- What th- What th- What th- What th- What th- What?? What th- What th- What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? th? th? th? th-. th-. th-. th-. th-. th-. th-. th-. th-. th-. tho-a? tho-a? tho-a? thoan? tho? tho? th. th. th? th? th? th? th? th. th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. least one of you. Please write in to me. Jesse. Thank you. What the fuck?

Definitely been explained to me at some point, and I don't remember. I was actually going to try and work the paper that he just got published into this episode and then I didn't actually end up reading it. Sorry Jesse's fish paper, which I will link in the description. Will you? Sure.

It's free to read. It's very interesting if you enjoy fish science. I am having my world rocked right now. Okay. By fish gonads? Well, by learning that gonads means the male and female primary reproductive organs, Lucy, you have gonads. Oh, no, I didn't think gonads meant balls.

Did you think gonads just meant big old balls? I sort of meant like, you know, I feel like the only context I've ever heard it in was like, ooh, just got kicked in the gonads. Wow, this is more embarrassing for you because you're older than I am, but I'm fucking 30 and just loading that feels dumb And I'm even older. Yep Gonaads are the male and female primary reproductive organs the male gonads are the testes and the female gonads are the ovaries I bet we sounded just not smart If you also didn't know that gonads was kind of a catch-all, please write into mail bag at Wintovista and offer me moral support.

Probably don't, that'd be really embarrassing. Just even if you didn't know, pretend that you did that you did. And then make us feel worse? And then make us feel worse? No, I would prefer you do it the other way around if you do pretend that you don't and just help me and my to pretend to pretend to pretend to pretend to pretend to pretend to pretend to pretend to pretend to pretend to to to pretend to to to to to to to to th.. to th. th. to th. th. th. to to to that you don't that you don't that you don't to pretend to to me that you don't that you don't that you don't that you don't that that that that that their. to me to me to me to to to to to to to to to to. to to to to to. to the the their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to. their their their their their their their their the other. their tooen. their tooen. toe. toe. toe. how like in... I won't read your name out on the podcast, I'll just say lots of people agreed. Nearly every episode at least once we'll ask people to write in. It's something largely tongue and cheek, but we'll ask something hyper-specific. Sometimes we get answers, sometimes we don't.

Do either of you happen to recall what this one that I'm about to read to you could be about. So it is from someone whose first name is y'all hear about, last name is come, their email address is you'll hear about come at Gmail.com, the subject line is you'll hear about come and the body text is you'll hear about come. What? We got that on Friday. Anyone know what that was in relation to? It's probably about come. Were we speaking about? That doesn't sound like something we talk about on this podcast. It's a one of those science podcasts for families. Yeah. Take that sort of thing to a less grown-up podcast. Yeah. Assuming it's a man. I assume it's a man as well, maybe that's sexed off me. It could be wrong. Hey, ladies come, come, come, come, come, come, come, too, come, too, come, come, come, too, come, come, come, come, come, too, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, too, come, come, assuming it's a man. I assume it's a man as well, but maybe that's sex to stop me.

That could be wrong. Hey, ladies come too, sometimes. Anyway, back to me learning about gonads. Sorry, Ben, just to clarify, were you saying that you also had the same understanding of the term codads as me until two minutes ago? Based entirely on getting hit in the goadads Getting kicked or hit or whatever in the Godads. Yeah, very much so. Also, just to be clear, I don't think that fish have penetrative sex,

if that's something that you're also be learning throughout this person. Well, with their big human-looking penises. I mean, they will now. Oh, no. They were like, wait a second, my dick's now big enough to, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, fish have discovered sucking each other off. He just like, swim down to like a highly acidic area of the ocean, everyone's just getting sucked off. Oh, fuck. A fish have discovered sucking each other off.

Fish logs onto the internet as a big ad that's like, want a bigger fish dick. Doctors don't want you to know about the acidic part of the ocean. They're all just starting like Bitcoin farm so they can create the most CO2 emissions they can so that they can acidify the oceans. 2020 is going to be the year of female fish swimming around and going, what the fuck? What is that? Hey, Steve? I don't remember this. Steve, you look good. Carrying yourself with more confidence as well.

Very strange. Swimming with style. Oh boy. So anyway, big gonads due to ocean acidification means increased egg and sperm production and therefore more offspring. And I assume Darwinism means that the dicks just get bigger from there. Yes. The team used natural volcanic CO2 underwater seeps to compare ecosystems with the levels of CO2 that are predicted for the end of this century with fish communities living under today's normal levels of CO2. They found there were no negative effects of ocean acidification on the

triple fins, the larger gonads did not come at a physiological cost. That's pretty sweet. Yep. It's like not making them sink to the bottom on those lines. It's mainly a mental cost, I think. It's upsetting to the ones whose dick's aren't as big. Just imagine you're the one triple fit. They didn't get bigger balls.

Again, it's, balls again it happened to all of us right yep they can't see their own balls obviously they got no idea no ever laughing behind his back poor guy we found males were eating more they showed intensified foraging on more abundant prey it good that BDE you know what I'm talking about no okay which was more abundant because. Yeah, look at that BDE, you know what I'm talking about? No. Okay, which was more abundant because the increased biomass of algae

that grows under the elevated CO2, says Professor Nagelkoken. It's very, it's a very like Professor Frikeke, it's a very like Professor Frikeke, that's a very like Professor Naglekoken. That's how I want to say it, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty it, pretty, pretty it, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty it, pretty, pretty it, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to tho, to the, the, the, thean, than, than, than, thogean, thooan, thoge, thoge, thi, thi, thoge, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the wacky scientist Professor Nagelkoken, what have you invented this week? Yeah, Professor Nagelkoken! That's how I want to say it pretty much the whole time. The females, on the other hand, did not eat more. Well, they're try to keep it tight for those big, dick fish.

Oh, no. Please don't talk about fish keeping it tied. All the female fish started dieting and putting on makeup. This is awful. This is a horrible podcast. I'm sorry everyone. Oh, look, it's true. They instead reduced their activity levels to preserve energy.

And then invested this in larger ovaries. I love investing in larger ovaries That's an investment in the future. That's true the future of Big dict fish Let me let me max out my ovary points on the character sheet. You know when you take all your points off every other stat Put them all into over. Yeah Yeah, yeah, exactly. No charisma. Energy, down, stamina, down, hit points, down, ovaries, slider all the way up. Way up. We also found that there were more mature males under elevated CO2, and in the species where

it is the males that take care of the eggs, whoo? That means we have more parents nurturing the egg nests which could increase offspring. What an open-minded community. You know, stay at home dads. Big penises. Everybody's ovaries getting huge. This is heaven. Getting me a trout boyfriend in 2021. The research has found that other less dominant fish species did not show such an effect of reproductive output, perhaps due to their less competitive nature. Well, you know. You don't see me at the bottom of the Mariana trench. I don't see you at the bank. You know? These fish don't be hustling.

I've got to get the hustle on. If you want huge ovaries, if you want gigantic ovaries straining at your abdominal area. It's terrible. Quote, we think it likely that the triple fin and similar species will do very well under increased ocean acidifications as co-author Professor Sean Connell. That name, not funny. Not funny, yeah. Get a funnier name, Sean.

I can't do anything with this name. The study shows that some more dominant species will be able to capitalize on changes to ecosystems under ocean acidification, increasing their population. So what we know now is that in like 50 years the ocean will be just like thick with algae fish and fish with big like tanuki balls. Yes. Grim stuff. We're laughing, but this is, this is the start of like a planet of

the fish type scenario. So it's exactly Planet of the Apes but fish have gained intelligence and also they have massive testicles. Well the monkey's got intelligence but the fish have gained big nuts and a winner's mindset. I don't like that these fish have to be hustlers in this scenario. They're like that's the most upsetting part. They're going out and getting after it, you know. They're getting that paper every day. That's right. No ocean too acidic for these guys to not achieve their goals.

Absolutely. Well, I believe that's about these guys to not achieve their goals. Absolutely. Well, I believe that's about it for us this week. We could maybe sneak in this next one because it's quite quick. Okay. Trying to keep it on tight schedule here. I know you're a busy man. I know that you're hustling like a huge testicle triple fin. I appreciate that. I just this one made me laugh a whole lot. Okay. Parenting Corner. From the Associated Press. Police say, a car thief who found a toddler in the back seat of a stolen vehicle drove back and chastised

the mother for leaving the child unattended before taking off again, police in Oregon said. It's fucking awesome. It's so good. Just be like, ha ha, the perfect getaway, looking at the rear view mirror, like, oh, come on. That's just uncalled for, that is not on. Come on, lady. As you're like wearing a balaclava, sliding around a corner, firing a gun out of the driver's window, and you're like, whoa, that is that is thing that is thing that is tha tha tha thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the of the driver's window and you're like, whoa, that is really irresponsible.

Lady, the woman went into a grocery store about 15 feet or five yards. Thanks America, you fucking get it together. Just learn to measure stuff. How many centimeters is that? Ben, do you watch, like American woodworking videos? Absolutely, I fucking do. I love it when they're like, oh this is pretty easy, it should just be 17, 30 seconds of an inch.

Like, okay, I mean you can just, millimeters, it's a wonderful, wonderful thing that we have there. This one is 47 and 5 eighths of an inch. Fuck you. Just learn to measure stuff. and five eighths of an inch. Fuck you! So stupid. Fuck you! Just learn to measure stuff. There's this English woodworker. I really like watching his videos.

Paul Sellers, he's like a cabinet maker, but he's been doing it for long enough that despite the fact that he's English, he still does everything in Imperial and is infuriating. Although he will always say that the metric measurement at some point, but good lord. My dad was saying recently that the blueprints for planes for a long time, like American ones will have the ridiculous American measurements on them, but they essentially have to produce other sets of the plans with metrics so that like, A, if anybody else comes to work on it, they can actually, you know, make things work.

But also, I think even for Americans, if you're trying to assemble pieces of things that actually need to stay together and it's like, yeah, oh, that one's just 712s. Not a measurement, come on. 15 feet from the car, the grocery store was, leaving her four-year-old child inside with the engine running and the vehicle unlocked, said Beaverton Police spokesman, Officer Matt Henderson. A store employee told authorities the woman was in the market for a few minutes before someone began driving away with the SUV.

Once the thief realized the toddler was in the back seat, he dthe back, he drove back, berated the woman for leaving her child unattended, told the woman to take the child and then drove away and the stolen vehicle. It's like here's my face, I'm stealing your car, take your kid out and think about what you've done. Like, just something so good about just being like, and it's a today. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their th. I I I I's th. I's so good thi. I's so good thatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat. I's the that. I'm the the the woman's the woman's the woman's the woman's the woman's the woman's the woman's just the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman, it's the woman, it's the woman, I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I I I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's just tole. I's just so good today. I'm so good today. I'm somea. I'm just just today's today's today's tole. I've tole. I'm somea. I'm just. I'm just tole. I'm just so good just being like, and it's time for me to get back in your car. Goodbye. Yeah, I'm still taking it. Peace. Quote, he actually lectured the mother for leaving the child in the car and threatened to call the police on her.

This is king shit. This is a hundred percent king shit. This is amazing. Henderson said the woman did nothing wrong. Well, I have to have to have to have to to to to to to then then then to then then then to the then so then so then so the then so then so thi thine thi. I'm thi, I'm thoom thoom thoom thi, I'm thoom sooom sooom thoom thoom. I thoom. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I shouldn't have to disagree on that one. And was within sight and sound of the child. Well, was she also within sight and sound of the person who stepped into the running unlocked car and drove it away? Yeah, I feel like if you don't notice that your car's being taken off,

you maybe aren't able to keep an eye on your child who is inside that car. It's just, I'm going to go ahead and say, bad parenting. You're supposed to roll the windows up as tight as you can, lock the doors and then leave the kid in there. You gotta lock your doors. If you leave the air running, that total could get in and drive that car away. And some four-year-olds would happily do that. That is true. Henderson said the woman did nothing wrong was within sight and sound of the vehicle,

and the child, I guess. He said the incident served as, quote, a good reminder to take extra precaution with children. Or my suggestion is to take any precaution whatsoever. Like, you'd probably take your kid into the shops. I'm not going to tell you how to live your life but I mean like you probably can. It's legal. It's legal to take your four-year-old into the grocery store. It's perfectly legal. Don't get wrong. It can be like fucking annoying taking very little kids into the

grocery store but also you had them. You're kind of in charge of them now. That's right, you had them. You've got to take them with you everywhere. That's right. Maybe you should have exercised the extra precautioner wearing a dang rubber, you know? Maybe you should have joined the child free Reddit. Holy fuck, this took a turn. Just kidding. Just kidding. Lair your kid get stolen, whatever. Obviously, we're thankful he bought the little one back and had the decency to do that, Henderson said. Oh man. Good for that guy.

Good for that guy. I hope he got to either keep or sell that car. There was a bunch of stuff at the end of this article where it described the person that did it and asked for any help in his arrest and no. Not on this podcast. Not on this fucking podcast. Also he has a great excuse he can just come back and be like actually I was doing it to teach you a lesson. I know I was on my TV show. Ethically hacking that car theft. He's ethically hacking that car. He's doing ethical car theft. Ethically hacking your baby. Oh boy. Well thanks everybody for stopping by and listening. I guess you're just going to be thinking about fish penises for the rest of the day, right?

Yep. Just picturing it. Big fish. Please don't write in about fish biology. Don't. We know enough to know that we're wrong but not enough to know what the correct situation is.. We the. We the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. to to to to to thi thi the. to to to to to to to to to to to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. te. tea. tea. teateatea. teateateeeateea. teateateeatea. teateatea. tea. tears. Please don't write in about fish biology. Don't. We know enough to know that we're wrong, but not enough to know what the correct situation is. And we don't want to learn it. To know that a fish does not have both big naturals and a big dick in the future, near future. Don't tell us. Nothing's going to beat the power of my imagination, so don't true. Thanks everybody, and we will catch you next week. Or on a bonus episode. If you sign up for the old Patreon, you get the bonus episodes.

How about that? Have more of this? Even more. Bye, everybody. Bye, everybody. I expect you'd like to know about from men. Yeah. Yeah.

They live on fish and catch them by diving onto them from a great height. Deep up and deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper. Gliding down through the dark green water. He could breathe underwater because he had amphibious nostrils. On the way down he passed hundreds of trout different sizes. Trout are fresh water fish and have underwater weapons. Do kill plutonium. Trout are very valuable and immensely parable. Keep away from the trout. Why should it be that the fish and the sea are all unable to sing? Just listen to me, young fellow. What need is there for fish to sing when I can roar and bellow. Eating fish. Fish.

Fish. Fish, the reaist. Fish, the reaist. Fish, the reaist. Fish, Fish, the reist. Fish, the reist. I'm fish, and I could get my fish. My fish, and I could get my fish. Fish. Fish. Fish. Fish. Fish.

Fish. Eating fish. to eat fish. Eating fish. Fish. Fish. Fish. Fish.

To find crime. I'm out like a trout. I wish that I could get my hands up, but doesn't fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, thi.