Boonta Vista - EPISODE 188: Godfuckers Inc. Episode 3 - Shit Follows (Feat. Demi Lardner and Tom Walker)

Episode Date: February 28, 2021

Andrew and Lucy are joined by piss merchants Demi Lardner and Tom Walker for the third installment of Godfuckers Inc., the spin-off series about being gross. In this episode: diarrhea, jacking off, euthanasia, the films of Sia, and the Crazy Frog themselves. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to Vista, episode 188. My name is Andrew and I'm down in a dirty little hole, covered in stinky garbage. It's where I like to be, it's where I like to hang out with my friends. Like, hey, just over here next to me, rummaging through all of the filth and licking each syringe that she finds to see if it tastes any different to the last one, it's Lucy. Hey man, how's it going? Good, but I don't know why are you doing that. I mean, why have you got all these syringes on the floor? What's that all about? What's them, so why don't you mind your

business? Gotta take advantage of the situation where you can. And over here, the lid has cladded off a garbage can and sticking out of it, at the torsos of two of our beautiful friends, Oscar the Grouch style. It's Tom host of Big Softitty.png. It's Tom and Demi. Hello. I'm so glad to... Which one are you? Which one are you, Tom?

What are you? Say which one are you? Say which one you are. It's a... Okay, I'm Tom. Okay. So Demi set up. Demi. Okay.

All right.that's good. How long do you think Oscar the Grouch fricking is inside that thing? I think he's really long. I think that the garbage can is a little skirt that he wears above the ground and he's worming up his way from hell. He's got a real long. He thi's a real long. that that that th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. thi. the. the. yeah. I think his dick is long. His dick is definitely long. His dick is certainly long. Oh he got that BDE. Oh yeah. You know that weird tone that sometimes people tweet with where they're just like, okay but Narito does have that big dick energy.

It's like, he was talking about a child from a cartoon. Yep. He runs so fast. He do though. He do. Lucy, no. When you're right, you're right, Tom. No, no, this is not what I want to be remembered for. Don't be shy, honey. No. This isn't what I said, I said this is a character I was making fun of. Well, you know, sometimes people like to say a truth in a joky way to be accepted and just check that they're not going to be torn apart toed toed to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to. to be to be to be to be to be tho-I. Don't thi. Don't to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. the th. the th. theed. theed. theed. theed. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. today. today, today, tttoday, ttoday, to to to to to thea. they're not going to be torn apart. I think that's exactly what you did. We accept it. We accept you. No, our internet's cutting out. Sorry guys. I've used up all my minutes. So, uh, look, this is another edition of basically our attempt to upset Theo. Thio and Ben, they have their precious Theophiles episodes where they just hang out, they have nice vibes, just vibing nicely together and it could be me. So every now and then...

We have bad vibes. So we got these two pieces of shit to ruin everything. I have listened to, yeah, the Theophiles and then the Godfuckers Club. And the Theophiles is genuinely nice. You end having learned something. You don't feel worse about yourself or the world. Perhaps there's a nice man, trapped in some ice. But then for this, it's, uh, no one's coming out of this richer. No. A little bit dirtier down in the stinky hole with us. So... I love this hole.

The whole concept? I love the hole. I just love a hole. I think we love a hole. I think I'm going to go buy a shovel. No. Okay. Demit, Demi's going to be cracking into our carpet, somehow finding dirt

rather than a shop we live above. She just got that vibe. She can make a dirt hole out of any floor. I just want to say, honestly, digging a hole is so fucking hard. It's fucking harder than it looks, huh? It sucks. I planted a tree like last weekend and I dug a hole that was like, I want to say sort of like 40 centimeters square one and a half times deeper than the pot that the plant was in and and somehow there's

like five wheelbarrows of dirt have come out of this this teensy little hole has this so much more dirt than there is hole always I know yeah I know it gets air and shit in it but not that much It's like it's reacting to the air like you put like you put a mentos in a one of them, one of them, one of the, the black water. What's it called? Tell me now? Diet Coke. The black water. The delicious refreshing black water. It's like it's been aerated, meringue style, egg whites. Yeah. Yours is better. What you said? What you said? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? th. th. th. th. the. the the the the the th. the the th. the the the the the the the black? the black? the black? the black? the black? the black? the black? the black? the black? the black? the black? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? the. What? the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the black? the the black? the the black? the black? the. the. the black. the. the black. the black? the black? the black. the black? the black. the black? the black? though about how much work it takes to create them. Versus how much like, I don't know, how easy it is to fill. But then I was using a post.

One time I remember, this is, I had a dad. I had a dad once and when my grandma died we got her ashes and he was like can I bury her with the with like her family and stuff and the cemetery was like not not enough room and so dad just dad was like would you like would you like to come on an outing and took me to the cemetery, just dug his own hole, buried her urn, and then super glued a little stone that he'd ordered to the rest of the family's grave. And I was like, you're not allowed to do this, it's so illegal, and it's still there, my illegal crime dad digging up bodies. You're not allowed to do bootleg graves. Yeah. You should be able to. What's the problem?

Yeah. I buried one of my kids placenters in the backyard under a true. Hell, fucking yes. What grew it? Uh, well, there was like already a tree there, so I just kind of leaned it over and shoved it under the tree? So how you grew move? Is that how you get a second child? No, it was it was, the the the their? It was, their? It was, their? It was, their? It was, their? It was, their? I? I? I? I their? I their? I their? I their. I was, their. I was, their, their, their, their. I, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. What, their. What, their. What, their. What, their. What, their. What, their. What, their. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I. It. It's. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, the the the the the th child? No, it was the... Which, which one? I took a cutting from the first kid. Who make any one? So you don't get to do, like, you don't get to do anything cool at the hospital anymore. They don't let you, like, they don't even want you to eat the placenta.

You know? What? It's crazy. They will, however, they'll give it to you in like a little biohazard bucket. Oh, what? So they, they, they gave me a bucket. Hey, free bucket. the free bucket. Nine months, get a free bucket out of it.

Sounds like a pretty good investment to me. I'm like, like, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. they. They'll, they'll, they'll, they'll a they'll, they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they as I get my bucket. My wonderful wife, Elner, is like, well, we should like bury it, you know, under a tree or whatever, because it's supposed to be like the most nutrient-rich thing in the world. I'm like, well, maybe your fucking body should have been putting some of those nutrients into the baby. How about that? like the baby opens for the placenta. The placenta is not their main event of the evening. But she's there proud of how nutrient rich this fucking slop is. Yeah. I think we've all been concentrating on the wrong thing. We're putting all our focus on the baby.

What about these nutrient rich blobs that we also get. We should leave some of the baby in the plaque. So is it also an issue that you kept asking... I'm speaking. Sorry. It was actually a gift that you gave to me that I could stop doing that so I don't know why I... Yeah, please. I can tell. Was it actually like a problem also that you kept asking the doctor how nutrient rich your newborn was? Just to pitch it in the placenta. How delicious exactly? How many nutrients am I

getting per pound? How marbled will this child be? Of the babies you delivered today would you say this is a pre-work out or post-workout baby? Am I dealing with a cheat-day, fat-rich flavorful baby? So I got a free bucket, I've got a the bucket, I cracked out the the the the the to to to to to to to to the to toe, the toe, the the toe, toe, the the the toe, the the toe, the the the the toe, the toe, the the toe, the the the the the toe, the the toe, the the the the tooom. the tooom? Howe, the toe, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the true, true, treatment, treatment, treatment, iscuu.eateateateateateateateateat, treatmea, treatment, treatment, treatment, t a hole, cracked open the bucket, and was hit by the wave of smell. Dude! Smell good? What are we talking? So bad.

Really bad? Really bad? to smell like a big bag of rotten blood. Okay, so hold on for one second. Everyone hold on. Yeah, everybody please hold on. Are you telling me that the sealed bucket, the sealed biohazard bucket with spare pussy meat that you took home from the hospital? You opened that and we're like, yucky.

Hey, oh hold on. I was led to believe that this was rich in nutrients. I got this bucket full of loose pussy and you wouldn't believe the stink on it. So, um... Getting angry at my wife? Oh my god. Do something with this thing. Can you eat a stick of deodorant from time to time? Jesus Christ, can we get some sandalwood up there? Is the placenta like a... I was always led to believe that it was like a hat or a sleeping bag for the baby? Is that, am I wrong?

I think it's more like a sleeping bag than a hat? Although, are they in it? Is it the sack? They're like next to it, right? They're like hanging out with it? No, this is what we talked about this and they never googled it. I'm pretty sure they're all in all the way in it. They're inside it. Yeah. And then the um the um umbilical cord like jacks into it and pipes a lot of those delicious hot nutrients straight in there for the baby. And th. th. T th. T th. T th. T th. T th. T th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. They's th. They's th. They's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the. I they're the' they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they're they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. I I th. I thin. I thin. I the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the n n-n't that that that. I that that that that they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they for the baby. And so that's what your water-breaking is when the placenta like splits and all of the Neo's matrix pod fluid comes gushing out. Hmm. Which is pretty cool. Unless you get it all over the car seats, L and uh. Yeah, the roast of Andrew's wife. Yes, yes. So yeah, cracked open that delicious KFC bucket, tipped it into the hole, great noise.

Oh, can you, could you just try your best at an approximation? Uh, That was, dude, can I seriously say that that was sick and I loved it for real? Yeah, that was some good folly. That's the, that's the noise of a man whose plex contains a number of horror movies that I've never seen anywhere else. I've seen those ones where they've got like some guy in a room with a microphone punching in the orange or whatever. Yeah.

I remember watching a video once that they were doing the special effects for the scene in Lethal Weapon 3 where they jump off the roof of a hotel land in the pool? And the guy's throwing like milk crates into a bucket of water to make the splash. That's awesome. It is, yeah, I've watched like a bunch of Foley stuff because I, for my special I had to make like a lot of my own sound effects because I didn't the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thu, thr, thr, thrown, thrown, tho, thoo, thooooooooooooomuuuu.e, thoooooooomuuu.e, thoooo, to get them for cheap enough to like do a touring show of it and then later like own the sound effects for like publication or whatever. And watching someone do Foley for like the scenes where a ship is traveling through water and it's just someone like you know deadly serious like watching like a hawk a screen of a ship passing through water as they like slop around

a bucket is so good. Yeah. I remember one time I was on a really, really bad TV show a couple years ago and, um, and we were doing some fucking sketch and I, uh, we like had a break and also I at the time didn't know, but I do have ADHD and so they left me alone for about two minutes and I was gone. I was scuttling around the ABC building and they found me in an adjacent room just playing with the Foley stuff just like happily romping around a tray of leaves is in my in my little

in my little shoes just playing with stuff clattering some pans and like looking at the weird like rubber chickens and shit they had that you could smack and stuff and that literally like the I guess it was the the the first A. D. Just open the door saw me in in the dark, and turned up a light, and just yelled to everyone, who let Demi in the Folly room? I'm like, I'm a fucking child. It's not allowed to be let anywhere. If you ever need to know where Demi is, think, where would the baby from the Incredibles

be right now? Jack, Jack, thank you, Tom. No worries.. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We we. We we. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, we th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. the the the th. th. the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the the that the the thean. thean. thean. theee. the. the. the. the. the. th baby from the Incredibles be right now? Jack Jack thank you Tom. No worries. We were on an ABC show recently. Do you guys want to hear the story? Yes. So Ben got contacted? Did you miss all of this Lucy? Yes? So we got just looking about this? So Ben got contacted by someone a little while ago works at the ABC and listens to the show and they were like I'm working on this show and and we need like some stuff for the background in these scenes where somebody's like driving on a car and I want to play like Buntavista in the scene. Like all these key scenes while someone's like driving around Brisbane or whatever and I was like wow that's really cool. Sure how much money and they said they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. th. th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like thi thi that tho tho tho tho th. th. I th. I was like I was like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like th. th. th. th. I'm like I'm like I'm like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like th. I th. I th. I th. I'm like thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thooooo thooo theeee. tho theeeeee. I'm like, thi really cool. Sure how much money and they said got to go.

Oh bad connection bad connection so so we were like yeah sure go for it and um and they were like okay the show is coming out it's coming out tonight and I was like oh I'll check this out and it's some like I don't know what the fuck the show was it was like a drama about the start of the pandemic and people it was like it was like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th like i th like i th like i th like i th like i th like i th like i th like tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the show was, it was like a drama about the start of the pandemic and people. It was like a kind of, everything's on people's fucking smartphones or face time or whatever. Yeah, and so yeah, well we should be doing smart face to face. Hmm, we're diseased. And so, um, there's the scenes where this guy's characters driving around in his car and I'm like, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is that?????? What is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is, what, like, like, like, like, like, what is that? It, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what is that, what, what, what, what, what, the, the, the, the, the, like, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, um, there's the scene, so this guy's characters driving around in his car, and I'm like, what is, what is that? And in the very, very, very, very down low, is my voice going, It's like completely unrecognizable in any form.

It's like you got a little Bluetooth speaker and wrapped it in like 20 layers of bubble wrap and put it in the boot of the car. You tuned into this thinking this was going to be a show about a guy who fell in love with a podcast. Yes. Yes. To be fair, some guy probably took our podcast, it was like, yeah, we should put this in the background, his boss probably just opened an episode and it was like, how

big do you think a cod's dick might be? And was like, ah, all right, Steve, sure. Surely that won't be the same with this other episode. Oh no. Oh, no. What a fish dick stuff in here. Well, everything that we put here, even if I run it through the strongest filter we have, will get us sued for libel by the state of shame warn. How are to immediately turning to the sound guy? How do you blur audio? Can you like, can you pixelate this sound somehow? You put a black bar over it? It is funny you asking the ABC for money

because one of the things you do find out pretty fast. I went, no, right. No, no, I just, because it's very funny finding out how much money they have to make things there, because it's essentially nothing. Yeah. Yeah. It's so good. Except for when they're in collaboration with like FoxTel or whatever. Because one time they had to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, to, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I never, I never, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I their, I, I their, I, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I th. th. th. th. to, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never, never, I never, never, never, I never, never, I never, I never, I never, I never had to, I got up at, again, very, very, very, very, very bad, very expensive TV show and I had to wake up at 4 a.m. so they could put three and a half thousand dollars worth of prosthetics on me to turn me into an orc for three lines that one of them was cut. And so sometimes they just fuck up real bad and their they they they they'll they'll they'll they'll their to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their cut. And so sometimes they just fuck up real bad and then they'll never ever make comedy again. Did you get to do any good jokes like had the orc makeup on there? Um no. Like just outside of the context of the show I took, I left all the orc makeup on my head and took shirtless picks for my tender profile. With the full, like with a brand but with the full tolk the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th or thora thora thora thora thora thora thorou thorou tho tho tho thoa tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the tha tha tha the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their thaa tha tha tha my tender profile with the full like with a brand

but with the full Orc makeup and like white contact lenses and this fucked up wig and it was all glued to my head. Yeah and these weird tits as well it's really crazy. Actually they didn't give me. Really good. Speaking of orcs weak we were just before the show began, we were discussing the movie Bright. Yes. That's really good. It's about racism except for that's society. Society, yeah. Oh, it's so, what a movie brimming with promise, you know. Yeah, so many points it was, I was thinking, I can't wait for the next movie to

see Fairy Lives Matter on the graffiti on the wall in the sequel to Bright, which will definitely come out. That's so upsetting. There's, oh, Lucy, it's so good. There's graffiti at the start of the movie when the credits are playing and they have that like five seconds of Joe Rogan saying, this orcs is crazy. There's graffiti on a wall and it says be York self. Wow, what the fuck? Yeah. My favorite thing about the Fairy Lives Matter thing is the immediate, the first thing you see of Will Smith is him murdering a fairy.

Like it is vermin. He extinguishes its life. Yeah, and if it is sentient then he is a cold-blooded monster. Well, he's a cop, Tom. Yeah, and he explicitly says fairy lives don't matter today. Yeah. As though they matter a different day. But um, when it's convenient. That's maybe the part of it that's like the most confused for me, right, is that it's very obviously trying to do like an incredibly handfisted, like, uh, like, metaphor for racism. But, but they've chosen to make like orcs the black guys? They just they dress them up like 1990s gangbangers.

They do, you got like low hanging orc pants. Yeah, they put them in like, you know, LA Raiders, jerseys and shit. All that sort of stuff. And, but, but then, but then they have like black guys being racist to them? Yeah, all the regular racism disappeared when the orcs came on the scene. And it's just like it's so funny to think of old school white supremacists being like, well, okay, let's put this on hold. Yeah. We gotta take care of these guys with tusks now. Yeah. I feel like that is a common theme in like any movie like like things like predators and shit you know where they're just like

I may be Danny Treo and you may be a soldier but we're gonna get together and fight this alien. Mm. Speaking also of... Now I gotta talk about this on the insane vibes episode of the podcast because being the kind of person that I am, I watched the Sia movie. Did you watch it? I couldn't do it. Oh, you watched music. I couldn't do it like alone. I watched music. Um, What do you think? Because...

Like, okay, so... All right, so for anybody who isn't aware of this, right? Sing a songwriter, very famous Australian lady, Sia. Done all of her songs for Beyonce and all of their famous friends, she appeared in the My Little Pony's movie as a unicorn version of herself. Oh. And somebody let her make a movie and the movie that she chose to make was one about a person with autism and like non-verbal until it's like convenient for the movie which was a recurring theme. Now this was a whole

thing on the on the internet because like people saw the clips and they said wow this seems like a stunningly insensitive portrayal. And Cia's response was to say, shut up, fuck wit, to every person. There were, there were, there were like actors with autism writing to her and saying, I feel like you probably could have spoken to some advocates about this. There are like actors with autism you could have got to do the role, and she was like, for your information, I tried, but it was hard. It was too hard for them, yeah.

So I got Maddie Ziegler to do Gilbert Grape face, essentially. I got Maddie Ziggler from Dance Mums and the Chandelier film clip and so on to do... It's no good. It's not great. Yeah, the face she's doing is one of those pictures you can hear. Yeah, yeah, it is making a sound that bullies would make. Yeah, it is so like up to 11 and and this is wild considering like let's say when did tropic thunder come out? Don't know?

I'm gonna say two thousand and six. I think two thousand and six I think two thousand and I think two thousand and three. I think two thousand and eight two thousand and a two thousand. No I know. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. this. I think it's gone. 2008, you're all wrong. It's 2000. Really? I was closest though, Tom. You have to watch Wonder Woman 84. No, I don't! No, fuck off! Who, who, who? Demand, get me. Stop using that. Um, so two, so two, she is the one from... No! So she is the one from the dance, dance,

and she was a dance, not a mom. Yeah, she's in all Sears video videos. She's in he's in he's in chandelier? Yep. She's in chandelier. Yeah, the shyer one. She's in the one with Shilor above, which also seems bad. It's all really odd. Is he canceled proper? He's the the the the the the the the th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. th. th. thi's the the the the the the the the the one's the one's the one's the one's the one's the th. No. No. No. No. No. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, the one. So, th. So, th. th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's thi's thi's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the one's the one's the one's thi. She's the one with Shilabuff, which also seems bad. He's canceled. It's all really odd. Is he canceled proper? He's super canceled. He's a real piece of shit. Oh, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't been shy after listening. He was moderately canceled before and I have it, I had a habit of like defending Shilabuff to some extent. You did. You sure did. Because he's a free if it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, like, th, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. It's, the th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, the thi, the the free kid, it's like fun to defend a free.

Yeah, I was just like, oh look, he's clearly a person with a big old substance abuse problems who's trying to do an art. Leave him a lot. And then FK Twigs came out and was like, he tried to kill me. Oh, fuck. Oh my god. Yeah. Yes. So she's come out and she's she's detail about that since not a great look anyway, so

Oh, sorry. Yeah, go on all I was gonna say about chandelier was that I remember watching the video clip for the first time and being like the bad painting of a dog in the background and being like wait a second and then re-watching Twilight and being like I knew it that's Bella's painting. Because apparently someone just loves this shit painting of a weird white dog and puts it in a bunch of shit. It's really great painting. If you watch the original Twilight film, I think it's in all of them actually. I think it is in beautiful set dressing.

It might not be in in Breaking Dawn Part 2, but Twilight is something that I just hooked straight into my veins every few days. But yeah Bella Bella th th th, it th, it th, it th, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is th, it is th, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and, and, th, th, and, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that I just hook straight into my veins every few days. But yeah, Bella has in her room a painting of a small white dog that she has no, there's no small white dog in the film, it's just she has a painting of the dog. Yeah, it's good. Anyway, that's my fun painting story. Please continue. Yeah, please continue about music, sorry. So, so like I'd seen a few clips of like a few scenes Like people had and gone. Oh boy Wow because like I was saying tropic thunder came out in 2008 right that's got it's got blackface and it's got the simple jack stuff Yeah, right? And and those those wouldn't fly now, but even though you can still like look at them and say there is some form of like commentary about them happening within the context of the movie

like like they're making fun of Ben Stiller's character for for like doing that performance and commenting on how you can't do that kind of performance and that was like 13 years ago yeah and we still have it yeah but we have like see aa going, no, no, just completely. There's no commentary. So you saying you liked the film andrope thu. Tropic Thunder? No, music.

No, it was. No, weren't inspired. So seeing a little clip of the performance is like It's really uncomfortable right and let me tell you the discomfort does not dissipate at all for the duration of the whole music is the name of the autistic girl yes wow and her big sister's name is Kazoo it's not no no no it is it is it is just you have a little backpack on music's back and help her run up steep slopes so it's so so the name is kazu soo the thi thi. it's no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip. tip. tip. tip. the the the the the the the tip She's in a little backpack on Music's back and help her run up steep slopes.

So, her name is Kazoo. So the, one of the huge issues with this movie, right, is that it has like fucking one thing to say. And it says it very badly and it telegraphs it over and over again. So like the first scene is music living with her grandma and they're living a nice little existence and her grandma does all of the stuff for her and her routine every day and like as she's doing things like, you know,

doing her hair and getting her breakfast ready and stuff. It's like the movie is saying, okay, take note of all of these because you're going to get to see her being upset about someone else not doing them properly later on the movie. And that is what the entire movie was, was the grandma, she goes downstairs, the grandma literally just keels over and drops dead. I thought you were, because I was assuming the grandma was going to die and I thought the way that was she goes downstairs like she immediately went to hell. The grandma goes downstairs. Grandma's out of here. They pull in they pull in Kate Hudson who is playing music sister despite the fact that

Maddie Ziegler is 18 Kate Hudson is 42 and the woman playing the grandmother is 70. Now Kate Hudson who's that broad? What would I know her from? Goldie Horn's daughter? You would know her from... How to lose a guy in 10 days? Yeah, there you go. Okay, I'll open up, I've got the tab of it open on IMDB, so I'm showing Demi that. Ah, these all seem like... Yeah, these don't seem like Demi movies. Uh, thee then't thse don't seem the the thse don't seem tham the tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham the the the the the the themem the tham tham the th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th So the entire thing is just Kate Hudson's character learning. Sorry, Kate Hudson's trademark on IMDB was just charismatic energy.

That's harsh. I've got a trademark on that. Cool acting. Trademark. Fun. Yeah. So the whole movie is just her learning how to look after her sister, right? And so it's just a sequence of scenes where like she goes, ah, what if I took my sister with like nonverbal autism to a roller rink and blasted her with an air horn.

Oh wait, she's getting upset! It's just all that, you know. Maybe this will fix it. Except that these scenes are interspersed with what is undoubtedly the idea that see a first had that made her say maybe I could make a movie out of this which is every now and then music sees something and she kind of drifts away for a minute and she stops doing the terrible impression that she's doing and then there's like a dance number and it's like hey she lives a full rich life on the inside and like that's that's the whole story that the lyrics in the songs are like oh I'm not autistic anymore

in my head? The lyrics of the songs are like, body don't fail me now. Bambabababr! Brin! All right, I'm so mad at you, Tom. Imagine. That was a good crazy frog. Oh, you're not good enough.

Oh, but you think that's a good, oh my god. Sorry, everyone. Sorry for ruining the to the perfect moment to do my tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho tho tho tho the tho tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, tho, thi, tho, th, th. th. to, to, tho, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, tho, tho, to, to, tho. All right, I'm gonna wait till the perfect moment to do my crazy frog later in the episode. You are gonna be, you are gonna shit your fucking pants. You're gonna absolutely fucking die. I can't tell you how good it's gonna, you just, you don't know what you're in for. I swear to God. Lucy, did I tell you that um,-year-old Mave is really into Crazy Frog now? What? Did you do this to her? No, like, I think my mom showed her the Crazy Frog song? And she was just like, she was like, Dad, is there like a Crazy Frog movie I can watch?

Father, I've encountered this wonderful frog. I... Father, there's a strange toad, I must ingest. I need to know more more more this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this to know more this this this to know more this this this this to know more this this this this this to know this this to know this crazy toozy- toozy- tooom? I? I toozy- toozy- toozy- toozy- toozy- toozy- toozy- toozy- toozy- toozy? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? I? I? I? I? I? I too? I too? I too? I toozy? I this this this this this this this this thii-fe? I thi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-foom? I to-foom? I tooom? I'm tooom? I'm tooom? I'm toozymea-a-fozy-foomorrow? I toozyfoomorrow? I toozyf Father, there's a strange toad, I must ingest. I need to know more of this crazy frog. I'm actually there was a crazy frog movie. Fuck, that would be awesome. There's an album, but it's not that good. It's not that good. It's not that good. You didn't like popcorn, the B-side?

Look, that's, yeah, I mean, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that's, yeah, I mean, it's the one where it's all just like Euro dance songs and they just have a sample that's like, baa, every four bars. I know like, no hamster dancing album. I own it, I own this album. I guess what I'm saying is that, you know, to me it was just, it was like a cheap cash in and it didn't really have the essence of the crazy frog about it. Right, well that's your opinion. Yeah, sorry, Demi's very defensive here. The crazy frog taught her how to be weird.

Yeah. So yeah, all these scenes were like... I think I can separate the art from the artist. Oh no, the crazy frog has turned its Twitter profile picture to black. It's time for him to sit back and listen. So there's all these music's bad is what I'm hearing. All these scenes where the lyrics that Sia is singing over the top of the dance scene say things like, In my mind, I am truly alive.

It's so fucking bad. There's a magical Negro character who is just there to help. He's just there to help. This is the name of the trope. Calm down, Lucy. I know. I wasn't judging you. So there's like an African character who lives across the hall and he's just there to like teach patiently Kat Hudson how to stop being a piece of shit and look after her sister. And he says, during the movie he says, he's, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he, he's he, he's he, he's he, he's he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just there to like teach, patiently teach Kate Hudson how to stop being a piece of shit and look after her sister. And he says, during the movie he says, he says, in my village special needs were not well understood, people thought it was a curse. No, he doesn't.

No. People thought it was a curse. No, he doesn't. No. What the fuck? What the fuck? See ya, what the fuck? It's so bad. It's unbelievable. In my village, we were very ignorant.

We thought that this happened when someone vaccinated a voodoo doll. But now I understand more. My God. Jesus Christ. So basically I'm giving that my award for like worst vibes of a movie for 2020. Yeah, thanks for bringing into the poker. I watch a lot of bad movies. I watch them on purpose, that's fine. I think the worst movie that Demi and I have watched as a couple is a, it's chapter 2

that that that's the worst movies that exist. In Chapter 2 has had the most hands on it and the most money behind it to make something that is awful on every level, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but this, I mean, I will not be watching music. Congratulations. I've beaten you. I think there is just some part of my brain that when I see like, like reviews that universally say, not only is this like monumentally misguided, it is also completely unwatchable.

Hello, it's me, Ben, from this podcast. Merriam Webster defines a podcast as a program made available in digital format for automatic download over the internet, and that simply could not be more true. If you like what we do and want more of this podcast made available to you in digital format for automatic download over the internet, simply go to Patreon. to hit the enormous red button that says subscribe. For five US dollars a month you get access to our weekly bonus episodes, our entire archive bonus episodes, our exclusive Discord server,

and an RSS feed of both the bonus episodes and free episodes that doesn't have these ads in them. That sweet, sweet subscriber cash allows me to do this show full-time without having to get a real job and frankly that whips to me. The other guys also get some money or whatever, but I don't really care. Anyway, check that out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out that that that that that thatto you. Love you. Now, who wants to reach into this slimy mail bag that I have? Get in there. Dig in. Take a little letter. We're going to have to establish a few ground rules here, I think. When people are riding in and making reference to co-hosts. Let's make the assumption that we're talking about the four of us currently. Yeah, right. Okay. You'll see what I mean when I read this question from Neil. If you had to choose one co-host to euthanize, who would you choose and how would you do it?

From Neil in Saskatchewan, Canada. Let me just put my hand up. I understand everyone. It's fine. Okay. Oh, you're just going to take one for the team? I think I have to. I'm detracting from the world. Because I was going to go with Andrew, but thank you. Oh, okay. How are you going to do it though, Lizzie? How would I euthanize? I mean, I feel like euthanize implies that I'm going to be nice about it, but... I don't think that's a guarantee. Are you just asking me how I would kill someone if I was to kill someone? Well, if you were killing me specifically. I feel like I would like to ironically kill you,terrible horror film that horror I'm using like air quotes when I say that like movies that say like slats from hell which is exactly what your entire Plex server is like but um get back to me I'll

think about that one and it's beautiful maybe I still like watch a I don't know a what's named Stephen Crowder stand Up Special, and if his smile goes below like, you know, 40 degrees of curve, then his head gets blown off. That's pretty good. Who are you killing, Andrew? Uh, hmm. You have to say me or it seems like we're being really mean. Because we've got killed. mean. You can kill me if you want.

Yeah, you can kill me. I don't care. What have I got going on? Hmm. All right. Oh no, my letter box to count. Go ahead, take me out. How will people know what I've seen?

Fuck in the barrel of a gun held by my good friend Andrew is what I'm reviewing today. I would push Tom, I would push Tom off the tallest building in Sydney. That's nice. I'd run him over with a truck I think. Oh. I would also say a nice way to euthanize me is maybe to enclose me in a glass cube so no one believes that I'm trapped and dying. Oh, this is one of his bits. It's one of his bits. Tom's doing his mind thing again. He's getting good at changing color while he does it.

I think it would, the first thing I think of when I think of euthanizing someone is, uh, I, the image that popped into my head immediately was putting a lovely Ben down like a, like a treasured old dog for some reason. Oh, with a hammer? No, not with a hammer. Not with a hammer, like stroking his hair. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do it like an I am legend. Where he's like, oh bloody hell me, me dog. Green dream, you know? Kiss me his mouth, yeah. Do it like an I am legend.

Or he's like, oh bloody hell me, me dog. God. Oh, bloody, bloody love this guy. Oh, bloody love this, I bloody love this little dog. She got bearded. Get rid of her. Mike Patton's outside. Keep it down, pattern. I want to get shot with the gun from that movie the jackal.

I want to get shot with the gun from that movie the jackal. I haven't seen the jackal. Oh it's ever so big the gun. The gun real big. Gun is so big. They tell by Bruce Willis, right? Brue Will, but how have I not seen this? It's crazy. Well you would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I want. But how have I not seen this? It's crazy. Well, you would love this, Demi, because Bruce Willis is in it,

and he's like an international master assassin. So throughout the... Oh, it's a big bloody gun. I've just googled the gun. Throughout the movie, he wears a series of incredibly funny costumes to like pass through customs and stuff. So it's just like a series, a series of ridiculous like wigs and moustaches and stuff. It's really good. And then he uses his giant gun to just explode Jack Black. I was just about to say am I looking at a picture of Jack Black? How have I not seen this fucking movie? I need to, Tom, I need to watch it tonight. Let's watch it tonight. Okay, oh my God, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi's thi's th. th. th. th. thi's thi's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. So, thi. So, ta. toge. toge. to. toge. to. to. toge. toge. toge. thi. thi. thi.tonight okay oh my god yes yes yes yes yes yes all right takes more questions here

from the old Patreon hmm right off the bat okay oh well this one's for you guys from a lover of the show Dominic when it comes to titty which is more important bigness or softness I I really I think it's very funny to have the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the comes to titty, which is more important, bigness or softness. I really, I think it's very funny to have like those old school 90s implants where it just looked like you had fucking, you know, Tomb Raider tits just staple onto your breath onto your chest. Yeah. Just like, you know, if you turn sideways to get through a door you do you just see like a tnk. Yeah, yeah. Whereas I think that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. thi thi thi tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tipe tipe tipe tipe ti ti ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. tipeeeeeee. tipe. tipe. tipe do see like a tongue. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Whereas I think that the softness is premium. A tit could be like a cooked pea, but as long as it's soft, I'd be a fan. So you see here, we really catered to both sides of the political spectrum.

Yeah, I think. Demi's saying she wants a titty with the consistency of like a bowl of mashed peas, right? Basically. Is that what I'm getting here? Okay. The soft. I went on a real tear. I think maybe two years ago or so of just googling a big tit lady shooting gun. And the size of the breast and the size of the gun on offer are both so much bigger than you'd think they are because they're made for like very specific moneyed fetish men and genuinely boobs astronomically big like bigger than the size of a head like it makes me think that they must have quite large pockets of air in there otherwise they don't know how their spine is holding up yeah oh so so Elna was watching

botched the other day oh shit about like their spine is holding up. Yeah, truly. So, Elna was watching, botched the other day. Oh, shit. About like the bad plastic surgery stuff. And I walk in and there's a lady with like the monster titty. And she was talking about like how she started off, and then just kept getting them bigger and bigger. And then, so she's still talking, and while she is tha is is is is is is, and while, and while, and while, and while she is, and while she is, and while she is, and while she is, and while she is, and while she is, and while she is, and while she is, and while sheing, and while she is, somebody has a thing like plugged into a fucking port on the side of her tiddy and they're blowing them up for the day. What?

What? That's awesome. She's like, yeah, I'm putting in like 5, 200 CCs today. And I, well, I was immediately like, what the fuck you putting in there? Because, like, have you guys ever seen, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, like, the, the.. Like, th. Like, like, th. Like, th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like immediately like, what the fuck you putting in there? Because, like, have you guys ever seen, there's a weird, like, Japanese cosmetics thing a while ago, you know, like for the kind of people who get little bits of horn grafted to their skull and stuff like that? Oh, yeah, yeah. So people were doing this thing where they were injecting heaps of saline under the skin in their face like into their foreheads and stuff and have guys would get like yeah donuts in there like you get a circle and push it big saline donut under the forehead and shit just to look like a big fucking

wild grotesque demon kind of thing and so I was like oh you're putting in like 5200 ZZs of saline or what and Elno was like no I think they're like blowing them up with air. And I thought, of course, because if you were putting like five liters of shit in each tiddy, yeah. Like you said, Demi, it would just be insanely heavy. It'd be like tearing out of the skin. Yeah. Which seemed like it was stretched quite taught on this lady. She was talking talking talking talk talk taki toing like toing like to to She was talking about, she was talking about how she's like constantly getting stuck

in doorways and behind, behind, talking about getting stuck in doorways and behind cabinets. She was talking about getting stuck in doorways and behind cabinets. Behind them? Do you think that like, you know when you go camping and you're trying to pack everything up, when she deflates the tits, she's, like to to, like, like, like to, like to, like to like to like to like to like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, think that like, you know, when you go camping and you're trying to pack everything up, when she deflates the titties, you have to like roll them up as tight as they can so she can put them back in the box. Get all the air out. Oh, you can never get them back in the same way, you know Diablo, which is a quick clip from there, which I think is a real vibe. It's a hell of a feature. Oh, I see. Yeah, the ladies got some big old titties. The gun's not that big. I think the gun could be bigger. Well, yeah. I mean, there's always room to expand in the universe. Yeah, it could be more first blood part two size gun, you know?

Here's another question, guys. Coming to you from, beautiful friend of the show, Flashman, have you ever caught one of your parents masturbating? How? I'm not hearing, I'm not hearing a no, Tom. I don't think I have. I think at any point that I could have done that, I wouldn't have understood what they were doing.

Like I would have been like, ah, father has a wound he's trying to staunch or whatever. I was a very terrifying young boy. I've definitely been caught masturbating. Yeah, I got caught jacking off with like as an adult, as an adult living with my parents, right? So... Yeah, we're talking, we're talking like, you know, 20-ish around there, I think.

And, um, and I'm in my my little room and I'm in the zone with like with some with some like CRT monitor kind of thing going on and and so and my my mom walks in without knocking I would observe and it's like hey what are you and I'm like get out get out get out get out get out, get out, get out, get out, get out. It's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, get out, get out, get out, get out. Lucky you can't see through the back of this high-backed chair. And like the next day, I want to say the next day, I had like several of my friends over.

And we're all like there in the kitchen or something and my mom walks in and goes, guess what I called Andrew do it? Oh my God, the trial. No. Go off, mom. Rack them, mom. God damn. No, I never caught any of my parents' master.

But the passion that my dad had for Mars bars, like I feel like I know what it would have been like. What does that mean? It just means that he was in absolute pools of fucking ridiculous ecstasy every time he bit into one of those beautiful logs. So it's like, oh I can imagine what it was like if dad had a spoof. So, there you go. I have a distinctive memory as a teenager of eating corn on the cob in front of some friends

who declared that, quote, you eat corn like you're sucking a dick. Why are you putting the corn in your face by the y-axis? Yeah, nobody, no one's sucking the side of the dick guys. Come on. So does that mean that you, wait, how do you, so did you put the long bit of the corn in your gob and then scrape it off, long ways? Well, number one, be a terrible blow job, wouldn't it? Okay, well, don't knock until you try it. Listen.

Number two, I was eating corn in the traditional typewriter manner, you know? Just working my way along, biting off the kernels. That's the part of the corn you're trying to eat. Well, yeah, could this be a criticism of Andrew's dick sucking. Maybe I was just too enthusiastically sucking the colonels off as I bit him or something you know. Like wow this guy is horny for corn you know. Yeah Andrew's sucking a dick and he's chomping the skin tags off the side. I think those there and Demi is very upset. All right. Just more for me. This one comes to us from friend of the show, Rob, who asks, who is the nobler criminal,

the art forger or the art thief? Oh. Forger. Forger, I think, because they're ripping off rich cunts at the same time. Yes. The art forger, fucking rules to me. The amount of art forgery also that is going on and is undetected is so much higher I think than we know.

Because once it's found out, the rich person is not going to embarrass themselves by being like, ha ha, no, no, no. You see, I'm a fool. No one wants to say I paid $30 million for a copy of Picasso by Steve. No one wants to admit to that. It's functionally identical to looking at the good painting, the fancy one that's expensive. How about this? Okay, this might be for you, Tom.

Friend of the show, originaled Butter Sphinx, writes, do you have any suggestions for getting comies out of the various crevices in a PlayStation 4 controller? Why is this for me? Also now that I've got a PS5, do you know anyone who wants to buy a PS4 with one well-used controller? Jesus Christ. What? No, I push back on the, though I do have a PlayStation,

but I've never like, okay. I immediately I know that Demi's gonna bring out the fact that I shared with her that when I was in like high school, I got an infinite ammo sheet on a video game and held the fire button down and then just put the controller on my balls. Yeah. I haven't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I, I, I, I th, I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I, I th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. th. th. the. the. tho. the. the. the. th. I the fire button down and then just put the controller on my balls. But I haven't... It sounds like this question is for you. Okay, yeah, but...

Well, it didn't... I knew that I had to get out in front of this, okay? Do you want to hear one that I think actually might be worse and dorkier Tom from me? Do you remember those, there were spinning tops tops tops tops the tops, the tops, their their their thops, their thops, thops, thops, thops, thops, thops, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoom, thoom, thoom, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom, th, thooooo? Do you remember those, there were spinning tops that lit up that had like a rip cord in them that you would put in and then go, and it would like, it would spin around on the floor and light up? Yeah, kind of like a bay blade but with lights on it. Yeah, so I would just pull the cord

and then she'd quickly shove it down my pants. The lights lights were lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights lights were lights lights lights were lights lights were lights lights lights were lights lights lights were lights lights were lights were going on, you could just see like a little strove effect of my underwear. I was like, this is close? Close to what? It's close. Why spend money on a vibrator when you can get six, seven of these things? Yep. And then I moved on to, I was like, I think my phone is broken. I need a new phone, but I just needed the Nokia 30310 as the jack-off phone. Oh, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, oh, oh, th, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, the the the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, thi, thi, the light, the light, the light, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, the light, their, the light, the light, the light, like, their, they, the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi phone but I just needed the Nokia 3310 as the jack-off phone. Oh Jesus.

Get a burner Sim. Jesus Christ. I would just call it from my new phone. Oh my God. Wait, sorry, your method of jacking off was to call yourself. Yeah. And then put your old phone on your pussy. Yes.

Just let it... And then call it again? I just won't... Well my pussy wasn't picking up, Tom. Yeah, but it goes to voicemail. You can turn voicemail off, dear. It's true. It's true.

Hmm. Friend of the show Hamish asks, what's the worst place you've ever taken a shit? Oh. Hmm. So I was thinking about this right. I think like the obvious answer to me is like festival, porta potty or club toilet, right? Yeah. Just in terms of um, like I've definitely done the thing in like a nightclub when you're like, oh no, here I am in a nightclub and I need to take a shit and just like standing on the toilet seat and squatting. Yeah. That's a pro move, you know. But like the the festival porta potty has like kind of a different vibe because Like depending on what you've been doing at the festival I asked my wife this question. She said festival toilet At night time while I was on acid

Let's take a shit and also I had to change a tampon at the same Oh, brutal. I was like yeah, that's bad vibes in there. That's terrible vibes. That's terrible vibes. I th. Yeah, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, like, like, like, like, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like, like, like, depending thi, depending thi, depending thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiampon at the same time. Oh, brutal. I was like, yeah, that's bad vibes in there. That's, terrible vibes. I did, um, I did shit myself out of the front of a cemetery a couple years ago. That was a bad thing. Hell yeah. Fuck yeah, dude. Well, there was a spooky ghost.

Yeah. Squirt. No, I got, th, I got, I got, th, I got, I got, th, I got, th, I th, I got, I th, I got, th, th, th, squirt. No, I got like, um, I got like, uh, like, fucking gastro or something while I was in the city, it was when I lived in Melbourne. And I was, I'm sure I've told this story out here before. My, um... Has he been eating grave dirt? Yeah, I was like, oh, yeah, you really want to exercise caution when you're having that cemetery taco truck. Yeah. No this is um... You found some sushi on a grave. Ooh. No this was so I was like in the city in Melbourne and was like meeting my brother and I got a beer and I had one sip of this beer and I was like that tasks really bad for

some reason is there something wrong with this beer? And I went to the toilet and was like, oh no, I have to leave. I feel extremely poorly in my tummy. And so, like, we walked up to the tram stop like on Swanson Street or whatever. And I'm standing there at the tram stop and I went, uh-oh and turned around and started like projectile vomiting into one of the bins on the platform because that's the, that's what was happening. You know, when you're having like a gastro type experience and your body goes, hey, I'm not really waiting around for you to make a decision on this one. And I thought, man, these people must think that I am like absolutely hammed or something at about 5.20pm.

But I'm blasting away here and we get on to a tram and move several blocks away and I'm like, oh now I feel very sick again and I get off and I'm sick again. And we get back on the tram, next tram along. And then you, so you know, like, Lucy, you'll know that if you're heading up north that way, there's like, the, the, the, the, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, they. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, tram along and then you so you know like Lucy you'll know that if you're heading up north that way there's like the big cemetery on one side but we're like up towards the end of that and I go oh no here's a new feeling and I got back off the tram and I was doing like a very panicked kind of dance to a very panicked kind of dance. I'll describe it as. Just try to... Yeah, looking around.

One hand on my hip, the other hand on my hip. Demi, there's a very important pivotal scene in Hotel Transylvania three that revolves around the macarina. Oh really? And Adam Sandler doing the macarina. So, I'm very, very panicked at this point, and I spot a large tree, which is just outside the wall of this cemetery,

and I say, sorry everybody, and run around behind the tree, and massively, massively just shiting out of the ground out in public. It's a bad time. It's that's a bad that's a bad time. It's a bad time. Yeah, that's really bad. And then I had to like alternate traming and cabbing

like a block or two home at a time before finally getting home. It's like the Warriors, you know, except for shooting yourself in public. Imagine that each gang that confronts them in the warriors is just them shitting or puking. And that was my journey that day. When I was a bunch of years ago, I think it was my first time I went to Splendor in the grass. I was at the bathroom.

I'd walked to the toilets with a friend, but we split off so he could go to the male toilets. And, um, um, the girl girl th g girl the the the the the the the, the, the, the, thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, tho-a, thi, thi, tho-a, tho-a, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho-a, tho-a, the, th. th. the, th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. the, the, thi, the, thi, thi, that that that that that that the, the that thean, that that thean, to to to thean, to to to to thean, the the the thee the. th girl next to me sounded really distressed and her friend was like Katie what's wrong and she was like I got poo on my wristband I felt like oh man you're gonna you're gonna wear it for the rest of the time oh really good the last festival that we went to before having kids, because we were like, hey, what if we stopped doing hard drugs for a while before trying to make a human in there? Let's clean out the oven, you know, before we start making it. And so we were like, yeah, we'll go to one last one, go hard, you know. And we did. And so like on the last day, it was, it was either, it was either, um, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, um, it was, it was, um, it was, um, it was, it was, um, it was, it was, it was, um, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, um, it was, it, it was, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it was, it was, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, um, it was, um, it was, it was, um, it'll go to one last one. Go hard, you know. And we did.

And so like on the last day, it was either, fucking, what's the stupid Victorian one? Meredith. Meredith. Meredith. Out in the bloody woods. Out on farm. And so like the last, the last day of it, and we were like up all night. And we were like, okay, we'll just the last, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on the last, on the last, on the last, on the last, on the last, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on the last, on the last, on the last, on the last, on the last, on the last, on the last, on the last, on the last, on the last, on the last, on the last, on the last, on the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last day of it and we were like up all night and we were like

okay we'll just try and like lie down for a bit and emulate resting before we have to pack all this shit up and drive home and um and my not wife at the time Milner uh she was like she got up some point to go and like pee and she came back and lay down the tent and then she was like what does that smell? What is that smell and then she has figured out that there is some shit on her foot and it's and it's human shit and it's not and it's not her shit. Oh no no no no and we'd and we'd also been awake for a really long time and been doing all kinds of irresponsible stuff and so we were we were both what I would describe as mentally fragile at this point. And so we were both what I would describe as mentally fragile at this point and and. And Eleanor got to have that experience of like, no matter what happens, I will never be clean again, that kind of feeling, you know?

And she started crying. And then she kept crying. And then she, we found our friends over the campsite and she sat with them and she continued crying. And she had a cigarette while crying and she kept crying as I took down the tents and packed everything up and put everything in the car. And she cried while we were saying goodbye to everybody and she cried for the entire car drive back to Melbourne. Did not stop crying for the several hour long drive back. And then we got back and she came inside and got on the couch to continue her crying in the

restful state and then a little while after that she passed out and I was like oh thank God. Okay the irony the irony of all of this right was that the day before or like 12 hours before or whatever I had got really upset because I don't like glitter. Everybody knows I got a glitter problem. Got a big time, don't like getting glitter on me, right? It's all over me. Yeah. Yeah, I think it was in the news actually.

Well stated, anti-glitter opinions, you know. And so I'd been like taking a bunch of acid and was sitting, watching some music, and there's these two kids like goofing around next to me, and they're like one of them's trying to put something on the other one, and the other one's wrestling him away. And I look up and one of them is holding like a canister of glitter. And I can see through the sunlight that it is pouring in this thick stream directly down onto me in my head. And I was the kind of high where I was like, get it off me. And I couldn't get it off me and I was really, I got very upset.

I could not get over it for several hours. And, um, and Ella was nice to me like for a bit. And then she was like, shut the fuck up without the glitter. Shut up. And that's why you shit on her the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that like for a bit and then she was like shut the fuck up without the glitter. Shut up. And that's why you shit on her foot. Yeah we'll see. He likes being clean. Popping a squat directly outside the tent just doing it on her shoo. Yeah so the irony of course was that like 12 hours later that she had a meltdown about getting something on her that lasted approximately 10 times longer. It just never ended. The crying. On a festival stories. I got a lift to a festival that I was doing comedy at. I can't remember which one. One of the New Year's ones, maybe Falls. No, not Falls Festival, but it was like this New Year's

music festival that had a bunch of art installationy stuff there. And's music festival that had like a bunch of art installation-y stuff there. The people that I got a lift down with were like these, the art installation that they'd managed to get accepted was just this collaborative project called The Hole, which was they were going to spend the entire festival digging a hole, and then on the last night of the festival you could put whatever you'd brought with you into the hole, and they the the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the people, their, their, the on the last night of the festival you could put whatever you'd brought with you into the hole and they would like do this kind of you know a ceremony over the hole and they would then close the hole up and you know over the the three days of constant digging with you know gacked out people joining in the hole would get very large is this

is this just an art landfill? Essentially yes, but dug by people who have not done manual labor, I'd say ever. And then on the first night, they put down tools and left the hole and then returned in the morning to the hole to find out that someone had done a shit in the hole. And I remember watching them all standing around the hole and having clear like why didn't we think this would happen? Why was there not a no-shitting in the hole rule? And why would we think that that would work? You know?

Seems like such a bad proposition on so many levels. Like even from a safety perspective? What happens if you dig a big, deep hole and then just leave it there at night for people who are all just absolutely mashed? Well, I guess someone out of protest does a shit in it is what turns out. So what was the resolution to the shit in the hole? I believe they used their digging shovels to get the shit out of the hole and then continued to hollow out the hole.

But it was um... And like a voodoo doll, it's back the next day a little bit scuffed up. It's like it follows me around the room you know. All right, it's lightning round time. Oh. Question from Mangelo I'm going to say. What are the best and worst kinds of hat. Oh, best baseball cap. Or a big floppy hat worn by one of those fancy ladies. Yeah. Okay.

Worst? I would say Fez. I was going to say Fez too for Worst. Yeah, we recently watched all of a Sims reality TV show called Sparked and one of the contestants is a British man who wears a Fez. And they do one of the funniest editing jobs I've ever seen when they let him say, you see my humor is a humor is... the the humor is a the humor is a their. their. their. their. th. th. th. I. I. th. I. I. I. I. th. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. I'm. th. I'm. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the. the. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t the. jobs I've ever seen when they let him say, You see my humor is rather dry, and then they cut to him, like one of his streams, and they're like, his lady crumple bottom and she's saying... It's really good.

It's really good. Yeah. Bono's Panama hat. Oh, that's good. Oh, that's good. His one specifically, I think. Bonnough Panama Panama Panama. Bono Panama Hat. Oh, it sucks shit. That's a bad hat.

Look at it. Don't like that. Don't like the hat. I want to put two bread rolls in either side. Yeah, it curls up on the sides for anyone who, yep. Nick asks, what advice would you give to someone who is going to be moving to Australia in a few months? Hmm. No, don't bring the virus. Please.

Don't import any new kinds of racism. We've got plenty. We're fine. We're totally covered on the racism front. Yeah. Just arriving dread like putting on the Schwarzer-Peter makeup on the plane Ready to make your big first impression Arriving in Dan Akroads outfit from trading places. Oh my god. I watched that the other day because you know all of the the game stop news. I was like, yeah, let's watch a stock market movie like trading places. Let's see some Gemily Curtis titties. Oh, they're great, aren't they? They're good titties!

They are really good. Crack and crack in body on that lady. She's beautiful. I think my advice for moving to Australia is, the internal narrative of Australians is that we're laaricans who are laid back and disregard that information immediately. Yep. Yeah. This is not a chilled out country. No. Everyone sucks. Yes. Like they do everywhere else. Yeah. Figure out which of your neighbors you need to call the cops on to preemptively stop them from calling the cops on you. Yeah. Lucy do you have any advice as someone who recently moved to his brother? Lucy's gone. Lucy's gone.

Oh, Lucy's out? All right. Yeah. Should we try get Lucy back? Yeah, she left about four, five minutes ago. Well, that was at about an hour and I guess her obligation was complete to the show at that. At that point. She's not going to get to hear my crazy frog. She says her internet has died and what are you going to do about that? You know what do you do about that? Nothing. No.

Which, this is from John, which loaths an Australian columnist feels like they have the worst smelling taint? Huh. I'm not smart enough to know any columnists. This is a tight race. I feel like Gerard Henderson would have a very musty taint. Gerard Henderson seems to be the worst groomed of them. But also I am as dumb as Demi. So only am I'm going off like screen caps posted by fucking, I don't know, anus Naruto to Twitter with like the word lull on it and I'm like okay good So we don't like this guy. Yeah, that's good to know. That was really brave of you time to say that Oh politics. Yeah. What do you mean you're as dumb as Demi you whenever you do something dumb you say oh no I'm the Demi now. Well, no you just said that you're dumb. You don't know this stuff and neither do I? Oh, okay so as as you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th? you th? th? th? you th? th. you you you you you you th? you th. th to to to to to to to to to to to to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th? to th. to to to th. th. th th th thi the the the thu the tho tho the tho tho. tho tho. tho to to to to to to you're dumb. You don't know this stuff, and neither do I. Oh, okay, so as dumb as me at politics.

Yeah, and you are as dumb as me, you know? Question from friends. Actually, Andrew, do you want to help us out here? I think that you guys are both really cool. That one was me. Here's an important question from a friend of the show Z. Why won't Tom marry Demi? Okay, let's move on from this one. Yeah, what's that one all about? She's, I don't know. I love my girl.

I love my girl. That's that's romance right there. Yeah. Alex asks. Oh I didn't get to answer that one. Oh yeah okay. No go on Demi. What's your opinion? Here we go. Ringing. Ding ding. Ding ding. Bhing. Broom. Bram. Ram. Bram. Bram. Drum. Bum. Wee. I thought that was the real crazy frog. It is. Oh, god damn it. Well, I very much thought it could have been you, Demi.

Wait, are you serious? No, yeah, sorry. That was me. That was Demi. Well, god. Did I legit trick you? Yeah, I was like, I was like, who am I hearing right now? I'm so good at that. I'm so good. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was th. th. th. th. that was that was th. that was that was that was that was thi. that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was, I was like, am I- Oh my God! I was like, who am I hearing right now? Because it was-

I'm so good at that. He's lying to me, isn't he, Tom? No. That's a note for note, crazy frog right there. Thank you. Thank you very much. My goodness. Uh,

Lover of the show,'s the most embarrassing moment you have had in public or alternatively, what's the worst thing you have seen someone do publicly? Let's get the bad vibes rolling. I think the thing that comes to mind, which isn't necessarily public, public, but I did, one of the things that happens when you do like a comedy show is like your management sets up little radio things for you, you know, to go on and be a guest on shit. Because I was like, I'm not like a big big name so I don't go like today if him or whatever. I was on like a Sydney regional fucking, I think like two S. E.R. or something. A monkey in the big fella type. No like, like, just like a staffed. th. the th. th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a, like, a, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a. the. the. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. S. A. A. A. A. A. A big fella type. No, like, just like a, staffed by a 20-something-year-old young woman who was looking to get a starting radio or something. And immediately I'm like, okay, this person has no idea who I am, I'll just try, you know, we'll do this and I'll get out of here.

And then, the information that I have was make sure to get a photo for social media. And so we finished the thing and I said, oh, do you want to get a photo? And she looked at me and I realized that she thought I was asking her, do you want to get a photo because you're a fan of me? And she said, oh, I'm all right. Oh, that is so brutal. That was very embarrassing. I forgot that happened to you.

I had your photo taken with a comedy icon. Madam. Jesus. I can't think of, it's hard for me to be embarrassed because I'm an embarrassing person. So I can't think of, can you think of a bad one that I've done, Tom? I'm trying to think of them. I feel like hmm a recurring form of embarrassment that I had that I actually made me change my behavior was that I am so like numerically illiterate I'm like like it's a part of my brain it's not working right yeah I yeah. I'm not doing well with like basic arithmetic.

I need a calculator for like everything. And I had enough incidents where I would get changed from somebody and count it up and say, hey, you've given me the wrong change, and they would look at it, and then explain it to me and say no I haven't and I would have to go thank you and take take my money and walk away so now if if I think I got the wrong change from somebody I have to go well maybe I did maybe I didn't there's no way of knowing. Don't use cash. Yeah exactly. I mean yeah the pandemic's been a huge boon for that. There's no way of knowing. Don't use cash. Avoid it. Don't do it.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, the pandemic's been a huge boon for that. Yes. But yeah, no, you have to pay a certain amount of shithead tax. That's my understanding of how I comport myself. Like I'm like, no, I didn't put any points into knowing how to, how to, funue, to to fu fu fu, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and, to, and, and, and to, to, to, to, to, to, the the to, and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their.., their., and their. And, and their. And, and their. And, to, to, tooome.eckeckoombseckoombseckoombseckoombseckoombseckoombseanank. tooombseank. tooombse. Ande, toe, toe to fucking a plum or how to wire anything and as a result I am probably going to get scammed several times over my life and that's just the price you pay for being someone with no marketable skills.

Well I think that was about all. One time I was trying to piss in a bush and I got tackled by a dog and got piss all over myself. It was at night time and the owner was like, oh my god I'm so sorry and I was like, that's okay, go away! Gotta go. Gotta go. Hi.

So, um, so one of my kids was sick recently and they made me sick because they're like back at school now, you know. And they made me sick, right? And so I had had a cold, like a bit of a coldy fluy kind of thing. And my dad came around because we were building a fence. Demi keeps laughing and I need to interrupt to ask what the fuck she's laughing at because she's been laughing the whole time. When you said your kid made you sick I was like I had went through the roller decks of like, um, the kid's ugly

um the kids like that skateboard, uh, why did they, why did they make him sick? Come on Demi. Just hearing your brain kick into fucking. Yeah, just hearing me, you're like, you're the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, think, think, think, think, think, thin, thin, thin, thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thea thin, thin, the thin, the fucking motor on my shit, it's gone. I just mean that they're really disappointing to me and it's disgusting. So I had been a bit sick and my dad came around and we were like building a fence. And so he was like, hey, I'll just get started and I was like, cool, just put my boots on. And then I came out of the front door and I was like oh I've got to do a little fart and I did what I thought was a little fart and then I just kind of shat myself and that's and that's never happened before

in that like that's really crazy well I didn't yeah I did not realize that this sickness had spread to other parts of my body and that something had apparently ticked over and all of my insides had turned to absolute water and and I went that doesn't feel like a fart I have to go back inside and I was just in there dealing with a really chaotic situation and try to figure out what to do with myself for this situation that has never occurred to me, an adult man. And it's bad time. It's bad time.

I think I got away with it. I'm assuming if Dad's listening to this episode of the podcast that he's turned it off long before this. I always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to have thoom. thoom. to have to have told. told. told. told, I told, I've to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. I have thi. thi. thi. I have thi. thi. thi. I've thi. the. I've the. I've thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I've too. I've too. I off long before this point. I always assume that my parents don't listen to this except every now and then they're like hey we heard that embarrassing thing you said. Oh that's horrifying. That sucks. My mom like she probably couldn't find her but she's banned from everything. She's banned from she's not allowed to see Twitch she's not allowed to listen to Big Soft Hitty she's not allowed anything. I had a friend visit recently who, every time I see him, however many months apart, he's like,

hey, you know, sorry that I don't listen to your show or anything. I'm like, good. Good. We don't. Stay away. Yeah, it's totally fine for you to not do it. It's absolutely. I don't need any overlap between, like people I know in my life and hearing about the things

I'm talking about shitting myself in various places around different cities, you know. Andrews shitting himself tour of Australia. Did I feel like perhaps you should try and take the stigma of diapers, dude? Yeah. Because it seems like you got some issues that they'd really fix. Maybe you could start wearing them like as a bit. Yeah, as a funny bit, the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, I thioling thi, I's thi, I'm thin thin' thioling thioling thioling thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I I'm thi, I I I I I I I'm thi, I I I I I I thi, I I I I I thi stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff thi, I thi, I's thi, I's thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi thi thi thia' thia'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'eateateateateateat, thia'a'a'a'a'eath. thia fix. Maybe you could start wearing them like as a bit. Yeah, as a funny bit. And then the shitting can also be a bit and just work your way up to it. Well, no, then when the shitting happens, it's not a problem.

I'm just like, ah, just wearing my comedy diaper. Yeah. Yeah, which I don diaper. Anyone want to come in here and hold my ankles up above my head? Just for a minute. I'll take care of the rest. It's fine. It's fine. As soon as you lie down on the floor, you realize you're lying like one of those Jiu-Jitsu guys who's trying to get someone to fight them? Get in here. Get in here. Sorry, babe, it's instincts. It's instincts. I get back to changing me, please. Putting down my wife's yoga mat and just getting rid of it, get changed, you know?

Yeah. So if we are ever hanging out and I say to you, I just got to get changed before we go out and then I come back out and I'm wearing the same clothes. Yeah. That's what happened. Yeah. That's what that's what that's that's what's that's that's what's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. th. th. to. together. th. th. th. th. th. th. for another edition of Godfuckers. Lucy is dead and in hell. Nice. Fuck yeah. Yeah, dude. RIP, she's the person we picked to euthanize before the end of the episode. Didn't realize that we had started a clock on that when we answered the question. Tom and Demi, where can the beautiful people of the internet find you? We have a podcast, it's called Big Soft Titty.PnG, and we have a Patreon where we do

Big Soft Titty. Tiff, which is the premium apps. And it's, uh, look, it's us. It's us talking for a podcast length amount of time. Some people really like it. It's not for everyone, but it's good. People like it. What a pitch. You know, like, yeah, you've heard us on the episode. We're fucking, I don't know. Shut out. You're not supposed to say it's not for everyone. I mean, you're right. They could have worked that out. It's for everyone. It's really good. Great podcast and it's the best one. Don't say. th. It's th. It's th. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's th. It's not. It's not. the th. the th. the th. th. the th. th. the th. the the the the th. the the the the the th. th. People th. People. People the people. People the people. People the people. People like the people. People the the the the people. People the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. People. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. th. th. th. People th. th. People like. th. People like. th. th. People like. People like. th. th. People like. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the is for everyone. It is for everyone. If you're listening to this, you have to... Oh no no no don't say everyone loves it. That's not what I'm saying. It's the best podcast. And it's also about Australian politics and you should actually listen to it. And behind the pay

wall we go into all the nitty gritty of you know the senators and what have you have. And if you want to see an angry man twee. to to to to to to to to the to the to the to the th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their that's their their that's their their their their their their their their their their their their. their the the the the the the the the the the the the that's not. that's not. that's not. that's not. slash Tom Walker is good and if you want to be completely overstimulated and maybe disgusted, you can go to Twitch. TV slash Demi Lardner for that shit. Yeah, we stream. It's nice. Can't help but notice that PNG and TIF are both non-audio formats for your podcasts. Big Soft Titty. PnG is the least marketable name of maybe any podcast. And it is that way because when we were trying to work out a name, we were very drunk and that's the one that made us laugh the hardest. I was just like Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom. I've got it and we're like, don't see it.

And then I had to pay like $80 because I kept putting curse words in the description when I was trying to sign up for Lipson. So yeah. Guess double D? Is this a big titty guest in here? What's going on? Is that Lucy's ghost? Lucy ghost. Well, the silence is horrified. This has been a wonderfully streamlined an error-free episode. We love it. Thank you very much for joining us guys. And uh... Thanks for having us. Bye everybody. Bye.

Jenny. the