Boonta Vista - EPISODE 197: Freshen Your Slime

Episode Date: May 2, 2021

Theo, Andrew, and Ben present: non-lethal encounters with lethal holes, a forbidden toilet, the main episode debut of The Shipping Report, and the Fresno Nightcrawler down under. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello, welcome to Buntavista. It's a bonus episode. Oh, no, it's not my own bonus. You sat on the bitch, it's episode 197. It's a perfect, flawless. It's a perfect, flawless. That is so smooth. It's episode 197 of Buntavista, the classic podcast where nothing goes wrong.

And we're here in the Outworld, which I understand to be somewhere in Belarus, competing in the final round of a tournament between the 18 surviving realms. That's right. Besides having one and a half while Luigi tattoos, those of us on the podcast also marked with the mark of the champion, meaning that we are the only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only..., their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the.. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the mark of the champion, meaning that we are the only people standing between the earth realm and complete annihilation. I'm here, I'm Theo, and I have a note from my doctor. It's actually a note I say from year 11 saying that I cannot swim for the rest of the term due to a case a case of acute squeak scolariism, and I'm pretty sure the note the note the note the note the note the note the note the note the note the note the note the note the note the note the note the note'm pretty sure the note still applies. I'm here with Ben who's ready to fight against an 11-foot forearmed ogre with a hydroponic system salesperson ponytail and perfectly fitted bootcut jeans.

Ben is executing what I can only describe as a number of regular punches and kicks. Oh and now he's been lifted above Gorro's head and effortlessly torn in two. How are you, Ben? Well, see, now I didn't know everyone would have magical powers. No. Or like they'd have chains and stuff on them. Someone was like, hey, would you like to represent the earth at a martial arts tournament?

Yeah, in a fight. I mean, you don't need to, you've got the mark, you don't really, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, you've got the mark, you don't really need to do much training or what have you. There probably haven't been training for several thousand years in the outworld or, sorry, probably need to explain. Look, we'll explain what the outworld is as well, but there's nothing to be worried about, I think is the message that was being given. Well, that's certainly the message that I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I received I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received message message that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received the message message message message message message message message message message message message message message that I was that I was that I was that I was that I was that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received that I received message message message message message message message message message message that I received because I watched three YouTube videos of a guy who invented his own martial art system in his backyard and I thought I would be fully ready for this. But yeah, I've been ripped apart in an absurdly gory fashion.

No, you have, you are now absolutely gori- which nobody enjoyed. Also here with Andrew who immediately executes his favourite MMA maneuver, going for a low kick against the shin of Sub-Zero breaking his own leg, leaving it flopping all around, disgustingly. Unfortunately, it now appears that Sub-Zero has performed a disastrous upper cut on Andrew, lifting his spine out of his body by a dozen vertebrae, before freezing two spurts of blood into crude analogs of percussion mallets and playing his spine expertly like a Glock and Spiel, which he hate to see. Andrew, how do you feel? Not that great, not the best I've ever felt. I think we should like get on with it and record the show while I have that time that your brain stays alive for. Yeah. Then like 18 seconds that you've got. But that said, I've always wanted to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. I. I. Ia. I'm thea. Ia. Ia. I've. thea. I've. thean. thean. thean. I. I. I'm. I'm you've got. But that said, I've always wanted

to be a musician. So what do you reckon he's playing on that human spinal cord clock and spiel? Green sleeves. Chopsticks. I would enjoy. I was going to say tequila personally. Now a lot of people, a lot people are will say oh he's playing it like a xylophone but of course as calcium the thing bones made out of is actually a metal that would make it technically a Glock and Spill so this thus just something that you've learned here on point of vista which part about calcium being a metal yeah calcium's a metal yeah you fucking unbelievable.

And the world is so full of facts. It's so full of facts. And that's what this podcast is about. This podcast is about making people smarter, more informed and better prepared to take on the day. I've been feeding my kids metal this whole time. It seems bad. Yeah, it's just a big, I mean, no one drinks milk. Actually I drank some milk the other day for the first time about 20 years. Like just by itself? Well because I never used milk in my mashed potatoes and I thought, you know what?

I'm going to treat myself. I'm going to have real creamy mashed potatoes. Put some cream in there, not fucking milk. to use milk. I used milk. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the milk, I used milk, I used milk, I used milk, I used milk, I used milk, I used milk, I used milk, I used milk, I used, I used milk, I used milk, that, I used milk, I used, I used, I used, I used, I used, I used, I used, I used, I used, I used, I used, I used, I used, I used, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, t, t, t, t, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm tops. tops. ta, I'm ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, tha, ta, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha. So I got one of those really tiny like joke bottles of milk you can get, than like 350 mils of milk. And I only needed a tiny bit, so I was like, you know what? I'm gonna drink some of this even if it gives me diarrhea. And pretty tasty.

How's that diarrhea going? Pretty tasy. Pretty tasy. Oh, speaking of that guy who kicked the other guy's leg and snapped his leg and snapped his leg and heart. Pretty grotesque injury to former champion Chris Wideman and he posted on Instagram an update of how all of his ailments are treating him. And he went and he got his surgery where they stuck like a big metal rod in there and screwed all of the bits of bones back onto it But I saw the x-ray of

What it looked like after this had happened and the bottom half like from the sort of three-quarters of the way down his shin? It's just like totally separated from the other bones and so he's he's posted an Instagram video where he's talking about how the surgery and stuff went. And he's like, yeah, so there's this cut on the front and that's where they went through and stuck in all the stuff and screwed everything up. There's a cut on the back of my leg, but that's from where I kicked the guy and then tried to put my weight the weight the weight the weight the weight the weight the weight the weight the weight the weight the weight the weight on the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the guy and then tried to put my weight back on my foot and the bone just came out of the back of my leg.

And then he used the vomiting face emoji. I don't like that. Which I think, to be honest, is pretty earned. Apropos in that situation. Yeah, yeah, so, you know, I feel his pain having also participated in my own fatality. It leaves you pretty red-faced. I'm going to be honest. I feel a bit silly, you know?

So, you know the thing about the being alive several seconds after you get decapitated, or in Andrew's case, having your spine partially but not all the way uppercut it out of your body? You know how they kind of came to that conclusion? No. So in the 19th and 20th century, French doctors would like, after people were executed, they would like pick up the person's head and like yell at it. Hey, hey, hey!

Hey! Blink once for a live! That's exactly it! And this head will... Hello? Hello? You have sustained the most grievous injury. Picking up the head.

Come on so that. And they light a cigarette and they placeicking up the head, come on some of our. And they light a cigarette and they place it in the seven heads mouth and if it sucks, they proclaim the Frenchman to still be French. That's how you know. That's right, Louis's doing some big ones. Oh, Louis. I would never guillotine Louis. I just want to put it out there. I wouldn't guillotine ones with your one. I can hear a dog. I would never guillotine, Louis. I just want to prove it out there.

I wouldn't guillotine any of your chickens. I wouldn't guillotine even a single of your bees. I feel like that would be more trouble than it's worth. It's really hard to get it to stay at the right spot. To guillotine a bee. The secret is a really th is a really thi is a really thi is a really th is a really thi th is a really th is a really thi thi th is a really tiny guillotine. Yeah, that's one of the secrets. Yeah. Also a really tiny executioner, that would help. Mm-hmm. With a really tiny hole in the guillotine. Speaking of holes. Oh, speaking of holes. We're going from the hell

mouth of the outworld to Bourne Actually, so you have to- Hang on, can I just pull you up? I actually really love this whole. I think it's a unique hole, and I think it's difficult. There's going roller. So you're actually referring to, I believe, the Nether realm. There, not the, not the outworld. Nether realm is sort of where all the hell-in. And the hell. And the hell. And the hell. And the hell. And the hell the hell. And the hell the hell the hell the hell. And the hell. And the hell. And the hell. And the hell. And the hell. And the hell. And, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so... And, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so... and so... and so... And, so... And, so... And, so... And, so... And, so... and so... and so... and so... and so... and... and... and... and... and, so... and... and... and... and... and... and... and... and... and... and... and... and... and... and... and... and... And, so... And, so... And, the... And, the... And, the... And, the... And, the... And, the... And, the... And, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, the whole, in, in, in, in, in the whole... And, in, in, in, in, in the wholeto I believe the Nether realm. Oh no. They're not the outworld.

Nether realm is sort of where all the hell stuff happens. Outworlds where people, where there's like, ladies with mouths that aren't quite right, try and suck the dick off your body. Hmm. Very different. The Gold Coast. Oh, can you like send me a location in Google Maps or anything? Just so I know to stay away.

You know? Hmm. This is from the Bournemouth Echo. Bonneth Echo. So there's a little echo joke. Sorry. Got any echo heads in the audience? Anybody out there love a sonic joke?

Hey, I'll tell you what, this newspaper isn't staffed by ducks because of the popular myth that a ducks quack won't echo. Never heard that one, because it sounds like bullshit. It's not true, sadly, yes. Oh you know if sound comes out of one kind of animal it's different to all other sound? Shut up! I'm fucking out here with them. People with fucking air fries, am I right? Oh, well, if it heats up the air in a different way,

it's a different kind of hot air to a convection oven. It's not. It's same here. Foolishness. I mean, I'd probably have an air fryer, though. It seems good space. It's probably, it's probably, their space. You got less air to heat.

They're fucking, the space, the space, the space, the I had the space, I'll probably just buy a deep fryer, you know, because I'm not trying to fuck around. Two different things, though. Yeah, I think the fryer is a bit of a misnomer. Yeah, they should call it a convection oven. That you bake things with. You don't air fry anything. You don't air fry anything. I get very mad about this. Air Baker. An air baker? What did it do? And I'm not talking about, say, a pastry chef that works on a blimp.

Do any of us actually know how an air fryer is supposed to work? It's a convection of that. It circulates hot air. But don't you also like stick oil into it? No. What? It just bakes it? Air fryer, how do you work?

Oh my god, this is, I could not tell you what it is more straightforward. Okay, first of all, air friars don't actually fry. Wow. Instead, the food goes into a perforated basket and the machine cooks the food by, get this, blowing hot air around it. The force of the air produces a convection effect that cooks and browns the exterior of the food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food... the food. I the food. I the food. I the food. I the food. I the food. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. this. this. this. this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this. this. this. this. this. Oh this. this. this. this. this. this. this. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th around it. The force of the air produces a convection effect that cooks and browns the exterior of the food in the basket. I'm so mad. I am so mad.

I was mad 30 seconds ago when Ben said that. Thank you, Theo. You're my favorite. You don't have to just believe things because Ben says them. No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have to just believe things because Ben says them. Come on. No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't not recommend that. That's the yeah, that's not like a hard and fast rule. Or anything. Well, I will just keep on using the convection oven on my oven and occasionally switching

it to supercook. Check out Richie Rich over here with a convection oven. Do you have a McDonald's and a giant slingshot thing as well? How about a Mount Rushmore with your family's face on it? No, I don't have any of those things. I have the oven that was in this house when we moved into it. Great settings though, you know? My oven doesn't smeg of settings. You just turn it on. No settings just to heat. I have to light it with a match, which every single time I am absolutely fucking terrified that I'm going to explode my face off. Get yourself one of those little long barbecue lighters, you know?

Yeah, that wouldn't be. Oh, you can't fit it through the hole. It has to be a match to get it through the line where the gas is. Welcome to to to to the the the the the th. th. It th. It is. It is. It is. It's to to to th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's theat theat theat theat theat the. It's theat the. It's theeeat the. It's th gas is. Welcome to the wonderful world of Brisbane, living on a podcaster's salary. It's a living. A man who fell down a sinkhole on Bournemouth beach says a child could easily be killed by the hidden threat. This is unrelated to the sinkhole. He's referring to a race that he doesn't like. Oh, I do like that they're making it sound like invasion of the body snatches. Stephen Rushden, who contacted the echo to warn others of the danger. Oh yeah, let me just commune with the echo real quick. Hey, buddy, it's just you.

Pulling himself out of the hole and being like, I must immediately get home to my typewriter. Pen a letter to the editor. Get news out about this. Uh, he said he struggled to get out despite being six foot two. Nice brag. Can you put that in the, can you put that in the paper? Can you tell everyone that I am?

6 foot 2. And to to to to to to to to toell everyone that I am? Six foot two. And that the water came up to his chest and there was quick sand at the bottom. Now the water would have come up to his shoulders if he was a shorter man, but he is six foot, two inches tall. And that chest? Pretty muscular for a 62 year old. The 62 year old fell into the hole while walking along the seashore at middle shine. Shine? Chime? Chime. Chime?

It just happened so suddenly it was like I'd fallen off the world, he said. A bit meldromatic, man. You fell into a hole. It took my knees from under me and I managed to stand up. I managed to stand up. The water must have come up to between my stomach and my chest.. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Chim. Chim. Chim. Chim. Chim. Chim. Chime. Chim. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. th. The. The. th. The. th. th. The. th. th. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the managed to stand up in the water. I managed to stand up. The water must have come up to between my stomach and my chest. Well, that could be anywhere. Well, I think that's about five foot eight inches. It was lethal.

There was quicksand at the bottom as well. My feet just sank in about 18 inches. Okay, I gotta stop here and ask, are we talking about a hole that some kids dug on the beach? And he fell into the hole, and there was some water at the bottom, and he was like, oh, my feet are stuck. Quicksand's not real, right? I think Quicksand is real. That's my belief.

Okay. That's the one thing that you believe in this world. Quick sand is a colloid consisting of fine granular matter such as sand silt or clay and water. Quick sand forms in a saturated, loose sand when the sand is suddenly agitated. When water in the sand cannot escape, it creates a liquefied soil that loses strength and cannot support weight. So you just kind of... Oh, here we go. Sorry, this is the part of the strength and cannot support weight. So you just kind of... Oh, here we go.

So this is the part that I was talking about. QuickSand is a trope of adventure fiction particularly in film, whereas typically and unrealistically depicted with a suction effect that causes people or animals to walk into it to sink until fully submerged and risked drowning. Right, it's just TV quicksand is fake. Yeah, real. Yeah, real. Yeah, real. Yeah, real. Yeah, real. Yeah, that is real. Yeah, but quick quick quick quick quick quick quick quickade is real. Uh, but I, but like, in this case where they're saying, it's just a fine granular material, like sand, silt or clay, although and water. I'm thinking of like, you know how people, um, you know how people like fall into grain

silos and die? Yeah. Because they, that's a real hidden threat. Yes, grain. Should be worried about grain sand. This is, there's no way this is th th th th th th th th this is th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. This is thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi hidden threat. Yes, grain. Should be worried about grain sand. This is... there's no way this is true. According to a 2010 article by Slate, this gimmick had its heyday in the 1960s when almost 3% of all films showed characters sinking in clay, mud or sand. I reckon that's probably... It's probably about right.

Yeah, it's one in every 30 or so movies in the 60s. Ah, this sand! You could get some quick sand into like pretty much every adventure movie. It is cool as a concept, but for those of you were anxious, it is physically impossible to drown in it, apparently. You just kept in there alive for centuries. I still don't like the idea of it, to be honest. So look, what's really not clear here is whether or not Steve Russian, the 62-year-old who fell into a hole. A lethal hole with Quicksand at the bottom.

It was a lethal hole that he escaped from, that's right. Let's lethal. So what we don't have a clear picture here is, what is his understanding of quicksand? Yes. He also said he had read the story in the echo earlier this month about the soft sand warning. Well... Hey, be on the lookout for soft sand. Hey, honey, does this sand feel soft and oldie? It's pretty soft. Steve, who had already contacted BCP Council with his concern, says people should be aware of the danger. He says it needs to be filled in or caught on safety grounds to stop other tall, handsome, barrel-chested, elderly men from falling into it. With a beautiful tanned. Desp- despite falling hole the day also bought some good news for Steve.

He explained it was Saturday afternoon me and my wife were on the beach getting a bit of sun. Classic Steve. We just had a phone call from our elder son at about 2 p.m. telling us we had become grandparents about 10 or 15 minutes later after I walked to the toilet at Durley Shine. Afterwards I was walking back along the promenade and thought I'd walk along the seashore instead as it was such a nice day. Sounds like it was about 12 degrees. It was like overcast 9 degrees. There's a little bit of rain and it was windy and there's a bunch of British people being like, ah, it's summer, beautiful. Get a tan.

Okay, so I just looked up the weather, because this is April 24th it says for, so that is barely a week ago. It is currently 4 degrees Celsius, at 90% humidity at Durley Shine Beach. Beautiful. Beautiful. Pop that shirt off, get yourself a tan. It's going to be 13 to 6 degrees tomorrow with a 100% chance of rain. And a 450 kilometer an hour wind.

My, um, my parents had like some distant relatives visit just before like all of the pandemic stuff kicked off here and so they had this couple come and stay with them from Scotland who like my mom hadn't seen since she was much much much younger. And just listening to them talk about like, just being out and about in Australia and being like, wow, look how you could just walk around outside. They were talking about how like, they have to look at the, have to like study the weather reports every day so they can figure out the small patch of time in which they will be able to leave their house and go for a walk.

That just sounds like hell. Yeah, because you're talking like winter in Scotland, when the pandemic had sort of started, and they'd started to do like lockdowns and everybody can only stay at home in their place. It's just like, okay, here's the 15-minute window where we can walk without getting like trenched and freezing cold rain. Just beautiful. I've got 23 more hours in this house. Better shoot up some heroin. Yeah.

So, Stephen says, I was walking along the shore. The tide was just starting to come in. The water was about two inches deep. I was walking along and all of a sudden I fell into this bloody huge hole. If I wasn't so tall, I would have had a hell of a job to get out. Come on, bro. Thank God I've got these huge forearm muscles. So are you pop-eye. I managed to lift myself out, but it wasn't easy. It was just like quicksand at the bottom.

Oh, we went from there was quicksand in the hole to, it was kind of like quicksand. Come on. It was pretty quiet. A bloke came running over and told me his dog had fallen into it earlier and he had to pull his dog. Well how tall was the dog? Like this dog was six foot two or it would have died. Steve escaped uninjured in the drama but has been left with an 80 pound bill for his mobile phone which suffered water damage. Put it in some rice. I bet that moth fuck I didn't even put it in some rice.

Well, great news everybody. We've got another hole report for you. This is, from the Daily Record, couples disbelief after discovering secret bathroom in house when knocking down wall. People love finding secret, secret chambers in American houses, don't they? This is also in H omens importance as well. I just want to point out for the record. I'm very specific. Spooky hole.

Yeah. A couple were left in disbelief after uncovering a hidden bathroom in their new house during do-it-yourself renovations. The pair were knocking down a wall with their newly bought property when they discovered the toilet which had been sealed closed. It's ominous. Okay, are we saying that the room is sealed closed or the actual hole in the toilet? There are like chains over the lid of the toilet.

Someone's poured concrete into the hole of this toilet. In a video shared online, Mum Mia showed how they found the hole of this toilet. In a video shared online, Mummea showed how they found the secret space complete with a tiled walk-in shower, a soap dish attached to the wall, and plumbing. I took that as red that they would be plumbing in the bathroom. The couple recently bought their first time and explained how they had no idea there was a shower behind the partition before knocking it down. They decided to knock it down to fix a leaking drain that had been boarded up, but ended up fighting a lot more than they first expected.

How the fuck do you buy a house and then be like, don't you have some sense of like how close everything is together? Just like you're walking down the hallway, counting your steps and just being like, No, that's not right. I've lost six meters. God, I hope there isn't a forbidden room in this house. With a sealed toilet whose lid occasionally flaps and says, Burke, feed me.

Yeah, you kind of do get the sense of like I'll say it pretty much everywhere in my house I have a reasonable idea of what's on the other side of a wall Absolutely the thing kind of like in my in my like bathrooms like weirdly built and it like jots in where the bathtub is that's because there's a terrible like weirdly built and it like juts in where the bathtub is, that's because there's a terrible like asbestos cupboard on the other side of it. And I gave that little, uh, gave the door a nice little red knob just to jazz it up. Yeah. I would like to give you a red knob sometime to jazz you up.

I'm talking about giving my dear friend Theo a hand job. A rosy palm. Too rough and it's irritated the skid of your penis. All you gotta do, Theo, is just close your eyes and try to ignore Ben saying, how's that going for you? Hi. Is this good? How about now? You're not smiling. Is that you... Very dry. Mmm. Oh boy.

Meer captioned the viral video, renovation finds, why, with a disgruntled emoji to indicate the couple's stress levels. Oh, I hate, I hate to discover I have a spare bathroom. There's more rooms in this house than I thought. So angry. I am going to give that real estate agent a piece of my mind. You said, uh, nine bedroom, 15 bathroom. Not nine bedroom, 16 bathroom, you son of a bitch.

How good is though when you can tell that an article has been written is just someone describing a video that they saw? Yeah, I do like that. I want to know what emoji is disgruntled. Isn't the kind of side-eyeing one? That's a great question. The one where it's like, I don't know. I think it's the white- the white the white the white the white the white, the white, the white, the white, the white, the white, the white, the white, the white, the white, the white, the white, the white, the kind of side-eyeing one? That's a great question. The one where it's like... I don't know. I think it's the white woman emoji.

Wow. Is that the lady in the red dress who's dancing? Is she white? That's Carmen San Diego. Is Carmen San Diego white? Let's go. Important questions of our time. Oh dear.

I feel like Carbon San Diego. Do you guys remember the stuff like six months ago about women of color finally getting their, like they're due in acting and that sort of thing? because of all of the plaudits that the lady from the Queen's Gambit was getting, because she's Argentinian. Oh no. Wait, and you're Taylor Joy, that lady? Yes. The white alien lady? No, no Argentinian, not alien. Boy. I'm sorry, let me clarify, I'm not talking about her nationality.

I'm criticizing her appearance. No. I'm not criticizing her appearance. She's a very nice looking lady. I understand that she is a terrific actor, despite the fact that I've not seen her in that many things. Please do not cancel this podcast as it is how I feed my children. Huh. You're big. Yeah by that you mean your bastard dog.

Yes. He can hear you and he's staring at the headphones and he's very outraged. And he's kind of turning his head 30 degrees to reduce his cone of confusion. Now he's actually licking his dick extremely thoroughly in the helmet. Ah! Dick extremely thoroughly in heaven. He's got one of those wet dicks. Ben? Yeah, hey. What do you reckon these guys should do about their hole in their house, the concreteed-up

toilet hole? I don't know. I'd probably just fix it, then you get another bathroom. Unless a demon lives in there. Hmm. Open the toilet? Oh, it's an empty man. Fuck. Hate it when that happens. Little hands coming out of the toilet. Here we go. Now I gotta feed him.

And he's always hungry. That's why they call him the empty man. So many people, Christmas time, they get, they get their children an empty man for Christmas. They don't realize how much work it is looking after an empty man. So, you know, you can't just flush an empty man. You can't just flush an empty man, and then sell your house. He can't just flush the empty man and then bode up the bathroom and then sell your house. I mean, it seems like you can because they have and they got away with it.

Yeah, it's somebody else's empty man. They have have have have have have have the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty have have have have have have have have have have have have the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty th th th the thus the empty th thus thus thus thus thus thus the empty thus thus thus thus thus thus thus the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty the empty they got away with it. Yeah, it's somebody else's problem now. Somebody else is empty man. They have to feed the empty man seven plates of spaghetti three times a day. And really, when you're buying a house, it's on you to get an empty man inspection done. They should just make that part of the sale process. You've got to get that pest inspection, you've got to get an architect out or whatever to check the, it's all the thing works. I've never had to buy a seller house before because I don't have any money. Does the thing work in my house? You know you get a guy to be like, oh your joists are good, right? Is that part of the process?

Anyway, there should be someone who checks if the empty man is in there. Hmm. Here a chicken in the background, trying to weigh in on the whole situation. Yep, that's the one that currently is the vessel for the empty man. Yeah, and chickens classically only have a single whole situation. That's true. Well, they got one at each end. That's true. Classic tube.

They're a tube. Feathered tube. I got a, I got an egg out of of of of of of of of the chicken out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out the chicken out the chicken out the chicken out the chicken out the chicken out of the chicken out of the chicken out of the chicken out of the chicken out the chicken out the chicken out of the chicken the chicken out of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the of the chicken coop the other day that was like so fresh that it was wet. Mmm. Farm fresh eggs, baby. That's fun to think about wet with what with what? Yeah, it could be.

It's a number of, it was just wet with whatever it was, it was totally clear and like dried quickly in the air, which made me think that that thing had really, that th was, it was, it was was, so was, sootally clear and like dried quickly in the air which made me think that that thing had really that thing just really just been sloped out my yes for really new to the world that egg I picked it up the tip the up and went uh because you know when you pick up a very fresh egg and it's still like hot hot egg the situation Still hot with the internals of a chicken. But then I was like, why is it moist? Didn't need that.

Gave it a little taste just to see. Nothing special. Just plopped the whole leg in your mouth. I put the whole leg of my mouth roll it around. Then you end up with that, um, the problem that Americans have with their eggs where you've taken the covering off, so now it needs to be kept in the fridge. Because the eggs are washed. What?

Uh, American eggs are washed. Uh, and our eggs aren't. And that makes the eggs last for a shorter amount of time. I wash our eggs. You're not supposed to eat the outside of it. Do they know that? No, there's a anti-bacterial coating naturally that chickens exude that protects the eggs. Oh, that's that delicious, wet, clear stuff.

That slime. That slime, that's the good stuff. Oh, boy. Oh, thi, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. they. th. they. they. they. they. th. they. they. they. they. they. Oh, the sli. Oh, the sli. Oh, the sli. Oh, the thi. Oh, they. the thoom. thoom. that's, that's, that's, the the the the the the the the the the the the they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, thi's. Oh, thi's. Oh, they's. Oh, they's. Oh, they's. T-a. T-a. T-a. T-a. T-a. T-a. T-a. T-s. T-s Anyone need some slime? You're all good for slime? I'm fine for slime, don't I make my own. And someone's over, top up your slime? Freshly slime! Fresh in your slime, Governor! This is just British beer! Oh dear.

In a follow-up video, the duo explained, The seller told us it was closed off because it was a leaking drain pan and that it was a small fix, wasn't going to cost much to fix, but they just didn't have the time or energy to do it. So they walled off the whole fucking room. It is insane behavior. That is so good. The plumber just be like, no, we are boarding up this bathroom forever.

Oh, it costs $40 for a stack of bricks. I guess it's gonna be the bricks. And Plummer's like, I have the parts in my car. They're in the van out there. It's gonna take me a few minutes. No, no. Let me start mixing up cement. Gonna close this bad boy off. That rules. Oh.

Let's see, from the wet room, Mm-hmm. To the wet corridors. The corridors of shipping. That's right, it's time for the shipping report. I'm itching for another edition of the shipping report. Now, this might actually be new to some listeners because previously the shipping report has only been on the bonus episodes. Because it's not very good.

Agree to disagree. By that point, we've already got your money. So. Yeah. And we like to try things out in the realm of ideas in the bonus episodes, where it's people that apparently already like us. Maybe this is the first episode of the podcast you've ever listened to. Welcome to the shipping report. This is where, with zero jokes, I read out a list of shipping incidents from the past week. And here we go. The Suez, sorry, the Suez Max Oil Tanker A Symphony, collided with the general cargo ship, Sea Justice, in the Yellow Sea South of Chingdow, China.

Sea Justice, that's right. The, the- Do you wanna- You got anything to say? Oh, I'm a full thank you. You don't want to... You got anything to say? Oh, I'm a fool, thank you. You don't want to describe... You died in broad strokes. I've simply already eaten enough this morning.

Oh, I forgot. The other Friday night I was having my break on my shift. I went over to Mungrel to have some food as I wanted to do, and I was talking to one of the two of the bartenders there and my friend Darcy was like hey this other bartender this young man Torian just heard the seafood diet joke for the first time in his life. Oh oh oh this man who's I believe is in his early 20s he was like yep yeah and it was because uh Darcy had been making a joke where he was using the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. toe. toe. thi. toe. toe. toe. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I. I. I. I was th. I. I was thin. I was toe. I was toe. I was toe. I was toe. I was toe. I was toe. I was toea. I was. I was. I was. toe. t. too. too. tooe. th. th. th. th. And. And th. And th. And. And it was because Darcy had been making a joke where he was using the format of, you know,

I'm on the sea, whatever diet, but didn't actually say the original one, he was just getting blank looks. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? It's like, what? It was beautiful. I feel like I witnessed something absolutely. I don't know how you avoid that for your entire thia thia thia thia thia thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to thi. the the the to toe. toe. toe. toe. to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. the. theate. theateateateateateateateate. teateate. teate. today. today. today. toe. theate. Anyway, enough talk about interesting things.

The general cargo ship, Croatia, suffered engine failure near Bosphorus Istanbul and was towed to a nearby anchorage. Now is that the Croatia? No relation. It's really embarrassing when your cargo ship has to get towed to a nearby anchorage. All right, and it happens a lot, I'm learning. The LPG Tanker Clipper Venus, suffered engine failure southeast of Bosphorus. Isn't that what that one Weird Al song is about? Oh wait, no, that's Clipper Penis. By the guy getting his dick cut off. I believe it's a...

I don't think Weird Al would work... He wouldn't work blue like that. Ah, it's in that song that's a parody of... Mmm, I believe it's called like Headline News or something, and he tells four different news stories, one of which is about Tonya Harding, one of which is about a man getting his penis cut off by his wife. Uh, like John Wayne Bobbitt? Couldn't tell you. It probably would have been topical for the time.

I bet. The general cargo ship Alica capsized at Hochi Min Port. Just turned upside down. Yep. Mine did its own business. Whoops. One guy was leaning too far to the side trying to get a picture. To the whole thing over. Someone was trying to get out of the way of someone in the helm and accidentally bumped the flip the ship over switch.

And that's only for emergencies. The Suez Max Tanker Faraway was immobilized after 16 of her 25 crew tested positive for coronavirus. Huh. That's a bad strike rate. That's too many. I'm just going to say it. Hmm. That's about four-fifths.

Do you check the mass on that one, Theo? That's pretty good, I think. The Russian General Cargo Ship, Alexander Fadovsky was bordered by police at the Port Viana de Castillo in Portugal. The Greek container ship, Kont Ship New, was attacked and boarded by pirates off the coast of Nigeria. What? Huh? Okay, I was going to ask why the police were on the Russian ship. I, they didn't say. Might have been looking for the pirates. They checked the wrong ship. They were the wrong country entirely. Uh, the tanker Sto Pimlico collided with the wrong champ. They were in the wrong country entirely.

The tanker Stowe Pimlico collided with the LPG tanker Bilbao Knutzen outside Whelverport in Spain with the Stowe Pimlico sustaining starboard forecastle damage, sorry, foxtal damage I should say, and losing her starboard anchor flukes and crown. Oh, it's got to hurt. The bulk carrier UGlory collided with an unidentified bulk carrier at Anchorage off the coast of Gujarat, India. The abandoned cargo ship Hasina drifted ashore in northeast Madagascar. And finally, the container ship President Eisenhower suffered fire in the engine room and was disabled

shortly after, sorry, now it suffered a fire in the engine room and was disabled shortly after, sorry, no, it suffered a fire in the engine room and was disabled shortly after leaving Los Angeles and was towed to anchorage by the Tugs Shirley C and Teresa Brusco. This is from the Maritime Bulletin. tho-Net. Russian General Cargo ship, Alexander Tfadov, excuse you. Was searched by Portuguese police on a tip from, quote, one foreign agency on April 23rd in northern Portugal. The ship arrived at Fianna du Castillo on April 20 from Turkey via Gibraltar, reportedly with

cargo of blast furnace slag. Not clear what it is exactly they've been looking for. Some news agencies named drugs, others are mentioning arms trafficking. As of morning, April 24, the ship remains birth that port no updates on search findings if there were any. Although here is a story from 2019. A Russian ship detained in leath over unpaid wages and safety issues has had fresh food delivered by a charity.

The Maritime and Coast Guard agency found several deficiencies with the Alexander Tvadovsky ship. So they've been in the news before. Being naughty, Noddy Russians. Maybe Hillary was right, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

It's hard to tell what they could be up to. Falling that slag around. Yeah. Are you tired of paying nothing for the same old superior quality-free episodes of the Buntavista podcast? Do you want less politics and more content about diarrhea? Are animals gone wild? Be you tired as skipping through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg film shooter? Well boy do I have the offer of a lifetime for you? That's right for just five US dollars a month. You too can be a premium VIP member of the Buntavista Patreon. That's right, for just five US dollars a month, you too can be a premium VIP member of the Buntavista Patreon.

That's right, just five US dollars for all of our bonus episodes. That's over 300 hours of content from the hosts you know and definitely tolerate. I'll even throw in access to our glamorous and exclusive Discord server, where bizarre arguments only happen once or twice a week at most. Head to Patreon. to Patreon.com slash Buntavista. Sign up in the next five minutes and I won't know because that's not my job. But you'll be enjoying the sweet satisfaction of supporting us and we will love you romantically for it. That's my promise

to you. Anyway, that's the shipping report. That's the shipping report. We've kind of the conclusion that we don't have to riff on all of them. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and th, and th, th. tho, tho, to's, too, too, too, tooooooooooooooooooo, thoooo, tho, tho, tho kind of come to the conclusion that we don't have to riff on all of them or even a few of them anymore. I reckon if you make jokes about one of them maybe, that's enough, but yeah, you just, I'm just kind of trying to keep people abreast of what's happening in the world of, I don't appreciate it. Yeah, international maritime news. That a theme for this bit. Give it a week.

Bit a day. So we have some crypted news. This is what we love to bring you with our resident cryptozoologist Ben. Keeping an eye on important websites like UFO sightings hotspot. That is a blog spot page, by the way. Yes. Trumped only by a Geocities page, in my opinion. I think they took Geocities down.

What about Angel Fire? They haven't taken my sweet Angel Fire, have they? Possible Crypted Nightcrawler appears on highway near Sydney. Mitch Coon was driving back to the Gold Coast along the Hume Highway near Bardia, Sydney just before 8 p.m. on Sunday when he claims to have spotted a small child standing on the road. What percentage of this child was A.S. and legs? Because if it's not a hundred percent then

that's not a night crawler. It's not a night crawler. Now we've asked you to do this before on this podcast but maybe you're a newer listener or maybe you didn't do it last time but please just go to Duck Duck Go images and search for Fresno Nightcrawler. And we'll wait while you're doing it that's fine. Maybe you've got a tight 30 seconds to fill to fill to fill to fill to fill to fill to fill to fill to fill th se th se th se th se th se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se se- thi thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thigh thi that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's not a thi. thi. that's not a thi. thi. that's not a thi. that's not a that's not a th it, that's fine. When are you going to a tight 30 seconds to fill this in with while people are looking these images? I'm being attacked by my dog right now. Lewis, can you please stop? I...

No? No. No. Okay, we're going to have to sit here in silence. When you are done, looking up pictures of the Fresno Night crawler. to toll toll toll toll toll toll th. toll toll th. th. toll th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to fill. to fill. to fill. to fill. thi. thi. thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. I'll, th. I'll, th. I'll, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. thi. We'll, thi. We'll, thi. We'll, toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. And, thi. And, thi. Okay, we're going to have to sit here in silence. When you are done, looking up pictures of the Fresno Nightcrawler on Duck.go, please send an email to Mailbag at Buntavista.com letting us know that you've looked at the pictures and we can keep going with the show. And we'll wait.

I can see maybe one small problem. Yep. With that system. But I don't to to to system, but I don't want to criticize you aloud on the podcast, so I'll save that for after we finish recording. Okay, that's when we do our criticism session. That's when we have our debrief when we tell each other everything that we thought went wrong.

A very negative atmosphere we cultivate on this podcast. Mr. Coon reported and claims that he was later told by an officer that the child that that that that that the the the the the the podcast the the the podcast the the the the the podcast the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho. I'll tho. I'll tho. I'll tho. I'll tho. I'll tho. I'll th so I'll th so I'll th so I'll th so I'll th so I'll that I'll that I I I'll that I I I I I I'll th so I I I I I I I I I I I I'll th. I I I I I I I I I'll tho. I I I I I'll thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the toe told. told. told. told. told. told told. told told told told told told. told. told. I'll told. I'll toe this podcast. Mr. Coon reported and claims that he was later told by an officer that the child had been found, but police have since said, that while a search was conducted, no child was discovered in the area. They immediately domed that thing. Covered it up. Yes, we took care of the child situation. The child situation. What do you reckon you have to shoot a night crawl that a head shot shot???? that? that? that? that that that th shot that that that that at that at that of the child. The child situation. What do you reckon you have to shoot a nightcrawl

and a head shot it? Right up the arsoll, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, it's a little brain stem is right in there. When we take a closer look at the, quote, ghost child, then the shape of the figure resembles that of so-called night crawlers. Now this is an audio format. So Theo can you maybe describe the still frame here from I'm guessing somebody's dash cam footage?

Yeah, it looks all the world like a monochrome statue of La Pietta, the classic Michelangelo work of art that you can find in the picture and Duck Duck Go images and Duck Duckogo images. And she's holding her, her fatally dead, heavenly child in her arms in the, I would say, the leftmost lane of the highway there, going northbound from Sydney to, to the Gold Coast. Sort of captured, I would say, probably about the height of a lamp. Yeah. Not one of the standing lamps. We're talking about a bedside, bedside lamp captured in headlights, casting a shadow.

So we do know that it has a corporal form. It interacts with... Absolutely. Well, at the very least it interacts with electromagnetic force. We do know that it has a corporal form. It is made of physical material, certainly. Absolutely. Well, at the very least, it interacts with electromagnetic force. So, but I have to, yeah, again, reiterate, monochrome, lapietta, the height of a lamp. Now, do you also, maybe, if you weren't so well versed in classical art history, would you maybe interpret

this image as that of a nightcrawler? Oh yeah, I could kind of see a, maybe, are we thinking that the, the body, the corpse being held is perhaps the arse of the night crawler being held aloft proudly in the air. It doesn't really look like anything. No, it certainly looks like a piece of trash if one was to yeah possibly take that stance or La Pietta. Possibly a sheet of a newspaper that is blowing across the highway. I mean if you watch the video it definitely does look like maybe there is a child standing there. So I looked this up just to see if any other details came out right.

And like the weird thing this guy is saying about how he, that the police told him that they found a child and then later said that they didn't find anything. That's come up in a bunch of news stories. Everyone's sharing is s s s s s s s s- the video the the the th. thiiiii. th. th. It is th. It is the thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's the thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. thi. thi. thi. It's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It thi. It thi. It thi. It thi. It does does does thi. It thi. It thi. It th. It th. It th. It does does. It th. It does. It th. It th. It does. It's th. It's the the the the thi. It's the the thi. It's thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi and then later said that they didn't find anything. That's come up in a bunch of news stories. Everyone's sharing the video, blah, blah, blah. This is the only place that has said that it's looked like a nightcrawler. Yeah, because it doesn't. But it could be. I mean, and they would know the UFO sightings hot spot. Yes. They would know what a nightcrawl looks like like, thah, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thii, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's tho, thoom.a, thi.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. That's, thi. That's thi. It's a nightcrawl looks like, that's true. These peculiar creatures drift yearly through the night,

leaving many wondering if their origins are earthly or extraterrestrial. You know all those people who are seeing night crawlers all the time? Like, any time that you walk into the pub, guaranteed there is a large group of people arguing over whether night crawlers are earthly or extraterrestrial. And it's an argument that's really hard to put to bed. Don't talk about religion, politics, or the Fresno nightcrawler at the pub, basically. Yeah, that's very divisive. Those are the rules. Despite there being very little evidence to prove that this so-called night crawlers are real undiscovered cryptids,

in 2011 there have been multiple CCTV camera sightings of strange, upright, standing thin creatures with no arms walking endlessly at night. Wow, I mean there's an end to the video and then you don't know what they do after that. I thought you're referring to to the big the big to the big the big the big to the big the big the big the big to the big to the big the big the big to to the big to the big to the big the big the big the big the big the big the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their their their. their to to to to their to the the the the. the. te. te. te. te. the. theeat. their their their their their their their the an end to the video and then you don't know what they do after that. I thought you were referring to the big pedonk-donk on these creatures. I'm sorry at that. The end is the wagon they are dragon. You stacked ass on these creatures. They are caked up wandering the night, bouncing that juicy thing around in front of all of us. And they can't be allowed to go on.

The first appearance of a nightcrawler took place in Fresno, California, and the second appearance took place in Yosamite National Park. It's really getting around, hey. Is it the one, just cruising? He's doing like like a Bruce banner in the old Hulk TV show Every every night you just cruises out of town Sort of more like a Kung Fu where he's in a different town in every episode Maybe it's kind of like the Mandalorian where he's on a different town in every episode It's also kind of like lone wolf and cub maybe it'sorian, where he's in a different town in every episode. It's also kind of like lone wolf and cub.

Maybe it's like a different town. A quantum leap kind of situation where, you know, at the, at sundown every day, the nightcrawler just wakes up and he's in a different town. Or it's sort of a sliders situation where once the timer is counted down at the end of the episode, he has to go to a different planet. Yeah, but also a different town. But that would make sense because you don't see him walking around the daytime. And how does it get to these different towns, you know? He's walking. He's night crawling. He's night crawling. to and fro. Sun comes up. It has a little sleep. You know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to. the he's night crawling to and fro.

Sun comes up, he has a little sleep, you know? Do you ever wonder whether you just like, in the middle of the day in Fresno, look up a tree or something? And there's the nightcrawler, just having a little kip. During the day, it's the Fresno Day Sleeper. That's right, just up there, curled up in a little ball, softly softly, softly, softly, softly, softly, softly, softly, softly, softly, softly, softly, softly, softly, softly, softly, softly, softly, thi softly up in a little ball, softly farting. Yeah, little snores. It may be tempting to feed Fresno nightcrawlers' ass like a piece of bread, but he's much safer and healthier, finding his own food in the cots and small beds of your town.

Just unrapping a slim gym and trying to slide it up the... I crawl this hole. Oh no, I got a spicy one. So sorry. It's just hopping around from foot to foot. It's going to cause all kinds of reflux. It's hopping around the steam coming out of the hole. It's just, I'm so sorry.

And this is why you're not supposed to feed him. You know? Hell of a life being a night crawl. He's trying to take a nap and then somebody is jamming an extra spicy slim gym up your... You've only got one hole which is basically on a time share arrangement. Yep, it's for breathing, it's for drinking, it's for peeing, it's for fighting, it's for just all of it. It's definitely also for sex. Yes, it's mainly for sex. What do you reckon that, how are they... they've only got so much to work with,

are they just rubbing butt holes together? Making the magic happen? Hmm. It sort of, oh no actually I guess it kind of makes sense for the besiiore, right? I think the male sits down on a public toilet. And then waits for a female to arrive. And I don't see why not. If you have any information about the mating inhabitants of the legendary Fresno nightcrawler, please send an email to Mailbag at Punta Vista.com. And... Maybe soon they'll start calling it the just outside of Sydney Nightcrawler.

I don't think anyone's going to call that. You don't think that's going to catch on? The Hume Highway Nightcrawler. I quite like that actually. Oh dear. Well, I feel like that might be everything we have time for. On this episode that is not a bonus episode of the show where nothing went wrong.

Hey, can I, I'm not going to read you the whole story because no detail of it is funny, but can I summarize a new story for you? Well, you're really selling it. That's... A man got trapped in a toilet at the Gettysburg National Military Park. Because he went into a portalou and then a tree fell and he got trapped in there. I just want to stress this story is not about me. No, I mean you've never been to Gettysburg, I don't believe.

And it certainly hasn't been a story in the paper about it, so... They had to cut him out like he was trapped to to the to the trapped to the trapped to to their their trapped trapped to to their to to to their their trapped tapped tapped their to taped tape in to about it. They had to cut him out like he was trapped in a car. And that's the whole story. And there's really, there's nothing in there where you'd read a sentence, he'd be like, that's funny. It's just, this man got trapped in a toilet and that's kind of funny. Having to get emergency extradited from a toilet. Again, the jaws of life while you're in there just being like, it actually smells quite bad in here. Wouldn't mind getting out. And then afterwards, it turns out it's just the Homer Simpson bit where he's been holding onto a turd the whole time.

Did I actually say how long he was in there? You can hear the sores starting up and he's like, it, it already the th is thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get, to to to get, to to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get to get to get to get to get. to get. Hea. Hea, to get. He's, to get. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the toe the the toe the the the the there. You can hear the saws starting up and he's like it already smelled really bad when I came into the toilet immediately got locked in here so when you guys crack it open and you smell it that's not, it wasn't me. It was the person before me six hours ago yes. That's right. Well we're all wishing well to all of the guys who have gotten themselves stuck in toilets or fallen into chest height holes this week. And we have also been overtaken invaded by inhabitants of the outworld as well. I don't want to kind of put, I don't want to spoil things for you, but we lost, we lost

that tournament. They should have picked it quite decisively. Yeah, I don't think the waking up with a dragon tattoo on you thing is a, it's a good system for choosing who can punch the hardest. My joints are already sort of quite stiff, so my fighting technique is sloppy. Yeah. Probably put a dragon tatoing the that they they they they they they they they they they they they they pick pick a that they pick a better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. They. They. They. I. They. I. They. They. They. They. I. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They? I. They. They? I. They? I. They're. They're. They're th. They're th. They're th. They're to. They're to. They're to to to to they're they're they're they're they're quite they're quite they're quite they're quite. They're quite already sort of quite stiff so my fighting technique is sloppy. Yeah. Probably put a dragon tattoo on, I don't know, it kind of McGregor seems like you maybe would have done okay. Maybe. It'd be one driver-giant. We can probably find someone to actually just put the tattoo on there. Like it seems like I don't know if you've got to see in the movie, but it seems like the system for checking is like someone pulling down their shirt and going

Yeah. Yeah, I'm one of the chosen. Well, no one like rubs at it with a bit of isopropal. Anyway, hey, wait a second. You drew this on with a Sharpie. Well, they also appear to be a transferable in the movie. Yeah, so all we need to do is get Connor McGregor to kill us, which I assume would be extremely easy. He could just pick me up by the skull and shake my head real good until I passed out forever. And then he gets the tattoo. And then he can fight the man with seven arms that screams knives at you.

I don't want to fight that guy, I'm just going to say it. I don't want to find him. Just shake my head to death now to save me the triple. Rattle me like a can of spray paint. Oh, shake me like an angry dog holding a, an angry pit bull holding a child. Jesus. And that's a real thing that we actually believe. Good night, everyone. Bye, everyone. you