Boonta Vista - EPISODE 199: Barely Legal Simba

Episode Date: May 16, 2021

It's hard to believe it, but the podcast has yet another segment. Introducing: 'That's Right Rental, Innit?' Plus: the Poll Report returns a tale of man's hubris in his struggle against the animal kingdom. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to the Buda Vista, episode 199. I am Ben and I'm here recording a podcast. Oh, this is the podcast. It's called Buda Vista. With me is Andrew, who is also a host of this podcast. Buda Vista. Hi, Andrew. Hey, who knows what could happen on this crazy thing we're calling a podcast. Hey a group of white men called a podcast and also a got a razing me. We're very diverse here at Bontavista Lucy's got up. Also here is Lucy here is Lucy. She's on the podcast too. Hi I love Hi, I love this scenario that we're in. It's wacky.

This is the trademark thing. Everyone knows about this podcast that we've been doing since episode 70, maybe. Fancyful scenario. What could happen next? Whoa! There's another host and he's a guy. thio. It's Theo. Theo. Hey, I got depression. Hey, me too. What kind of you got? Oh, I, the monopolar kind. It's sort of a... That's interesting. I got two poles. You got two poles. And if you split you in half, both sides would have two poles of depression.

Yeah. So that's nice. Huh. Buntavista is the name of the podcast. We have depression. We've most of us, Andrew, how are you? Have you got depression? No, I'm normal. Oh. Okay.

That seems like a power balance. Mentor Vista. Mentor Vista. I'm not too well. So in this fanciful scenario I've concocted where there's the four of us who are on a podcast called Buntavista, Bountavista, I'm not quite sure how we pronounce it. I think when we do the real podcast, let's come up with a name that Americans can say. And let's come up with a name that means something. Yeah, that'd be something like something like, love having to explain the name. Horseshoe beerie. Now. Now. Now. the name. the name. the name. the name. the name. the name. the name. the name. the name. the name. to the name. the name. the name. the name. the name. to the name. the name. the name. to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, their to to to to to to to to to to to to their. to to to their. I I I I I I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. I I I. I. I their. I their. I their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their th. their th. th. th. th. the. tho. the. the. tho. the. th. th. th. I th's a name. That is a name. I think we should change the name.

We should rebrand. Okay, that's life-slade. That's life-slade. Perfect. Oh, imagine. I'm going to confuse people there'd be. Be like, uh, the cows when you get, take away daylight savings. We could, uh, change our name to tap, change, change, change, change, change, change, ch ch ch ch ch ch chaken yet. Oh, that's a good one, I like that. Kind of a bit edgy, bit in your face.

Like a trap house is, you buy drugs there? I think so. Yeah, and a chappo is a short way of saying chappo. I thought it was a lad. A chapo. Oh, there's a group of chapos. . Don't we call men here in Australia? A bunch of chapos. That's good. It's uniquely Australian that name.

Chappo Trapphouse. It's quite good. What are you guys thinking for a theme? It should be like a trap beat, because the trap house is in it. But he needs some sort of like, what's it like a signifier would recognize that means... Ayrhorn. I mean I was thinking so I made like something video gameish from our childhood. Like the sound Yoshi makes when he jumps.

If we're talking about my age group, it's probably a sample of Austin Powers saying, yeah baby. I mean, you and Theo are like the same age. Are you the same age? No. I think Andrew's old. Yeah, I'm old. Couldn't happen to me. I'm old.

My main signifiers, uh, normal, old, dad. I'm a normal old dad. That's my deal. All right, so we've got a name sorted out. What's the podcast about? Imagine if we on this podcast started talking about politics. That sounds like shit. That sounds like a terrible idea for idiots and fools.

Here let me try it out for a second. I have been looking at the news and... There's your first mistake. Yeah and and Anthony Albanyzi's Labour Party makes me want to shoot myself with a gun. Is that good for anyone? I also want the liberals to get elected. Yeah, I think they've earned it. I think they're working harder for it at this point. I think they just seem like it. They just want it more.

They do want it more. That's true. And as they say in all of the best sports, if th, if th, if th, if th, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if th, if th, if th, if th, if th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, more. That's all I'm saying. They do want it more, that's true. And as they say in all of the best sports, if you ain't cheating, you ain't trying. You know? So, yeah. Yeah, I gotta give it to him. Miss a hundred percent of the shots I don't take. It's what they say. No, no, I don't miss 100% of the shots I don't take. You get those ones as well. Not all of them, that sometimes. I miss 75% of the shots that I don't take.

That other quarter. Oh, they're in the bag. Well, I suppose, you know, we could talk about politics. We could do analysis, you know. Analysis of... Run the numbers, you reckon. Yeah, analysis. We could go over the news. Some big data.

Yep. Love data. I love regressions. I love statistical, uh, significances. I love P values. My five-year-old has informed me that she is currently really into data. Really into data? Oh, that is ominous.

What does she mean by that? I'm super into data. Just learning, learning what it is at school. I'm writing down a lot of numbers at the moment. Yep. She does, she does do things like take an entire blank notebook and just go through and number every page herself. Have we checked that it's??? that? that? that? that? that? Oh that? that? Oh that? That it? That it? That it? That it? That it? That it is that it is that it is that it is that it is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is not th. It is not th. It is not that is not that is not that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is things like take an entire blank notebook and just go through and number every page herself. Have we checked that it's not like that what she writes down in there isn't some sort of like breaking cryptography or anything?

Oh, you're talking like that movie that we've spoken about like, for the Mercury Rising? You stress on a Mercury rising situation? The single most shared touch point for this entire podcast. This whole generation is the terrible, terrible depiction of autism in the Bruce Willis movie starring the kid from kindergarten cop who says, boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. We should get him on the podcast.

Who's Hayley Joel Osmond? So did I. We've had this conversation. Well. We should get that that's a good. T this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this point. This this point. This this point. this point. this point. this point. this point. this point this point this point point. this point this point this point this point this point this point this point this point. this point. this point this point this point this point this point this point this point this point this point this point this point for this point for this point for this point. This this point. This this point. This this point. This this point. This this point. this point. this point. this point. this point. this point. this point. this point. this point. this point. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to touch. touch. touch. to to to to to to touch. to touch point. to to to touch point. touch point. to to touch point. touch point on the podcast. It was Haley Joel Hosman. So did I. We've had this conversation. Oh. Well we should get back. That should be another fixture of our podcast if we end up going ahead with this. Is having the same conversation six times because we've all destroyed our brains with drugs. Hey, I dare you to make 370 episodes of a podcast and not repeat yourself. That's right. Had any grievous leg injuries, Andrew in your laughter? Yeah, tell us a story about... Nah, not today. Shitting your asymmetry?

Probably, probably for the best. But can I, can I quickly peel back the curtain for a second here? And I know this is a main episode, but, um, it's a little bit of our process here. So I read out an intro on because I'm a simple man I had to write it down because I stumble over my words otherwise like I did just then and to do that I left my notes app up and that's sort of partially obscuring the video cam set up of going here video video video cam? Sure that's fine web camera and I've had it obscuring Theo's face this whole dub. I did not realize. Very rude. And I don't know I think it's because Theo and I, I don't

think it's controversial to say that you and I have a very intimate relationship. Oh quite. So you feel his presence you don't need to see what's going on. I can visualize his face in my mind's eye. Like right now I'm going to get rid of that notes tab. Yep. That's what I thought. It's exactly what I thought you'd look like and I love it. Now Andrew. Are you pulling the curtain back closed now or is the curtain closed again? Okay. Sorry I can give you a time to have more time with your vape if you'd like. You've had a bit of time time time time time time to time to to time to to to to to to the to time the time to to the time to thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. thi. to to thi. to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoo. thooo. thooo. thoooo. tho. thooooo. thooooo. that tho. tho. tho. time to think there. Have you come up with a sort of a segue into this next part here? Yeah, I mean I was on my way there a while ago, but we kind of, we all wandered off. Crunching the numbers, look at a bit of data, a bit of data, we could find things in the news, we could talk about them, we could break them down in some kind of segment called the poll report. That was nice. Oh, it's still going. Oh, we're still going. Oh, we're still going. We're still going. We're still going.

Oh, we're still going. Approaching the halfway man. Begene their own chocketsy's, some and treatment, swore to chastin's the nation. Oh, come, really comes to an end there, doesn't it, it's the buffers at to an end there, doesn't it? It hits the buffers at the end of the track. I don't know if I was ready for it to finish.

That is of course the Polish national anthem, Polsky-A-Gorski. Now we did just note that we were playing this from YouTube, that great resource that we all love. YouTube. It's a great resource. Big fan. YouTube. tocom. Yeah, if you've never heard of it, plenty of videos you can watch if you've got nothing.

So many videos. Hang on. Have you guys seen the videos on YouTube? Yeah. I've seen really into fascism. Let's just rattle off a couple and see if we've seen the same videos from YouTube. So we were just noticing that in the comments of the national anthem here, basically it's just people from every other country saying, hello from my country, as though they are speaking directly to Poland. Hmm. Hello from Brazil, sweetie.

Which is very nice. Poland is very beautiful. Greetings from Italy. Greetings from Iraq, your spiritual brothers from the Middle East. That's nice. Best sounding anthem ever in my opinion. Greetings from the Netherlands. Oh no. Polska, Hollandia. Get out of here. the Julius de Grute. who left that message. Come on. So this is the poll report, of course, not the poll report. No. About polls. Oh, I see. Where it's mixed up. Yep. Sorry everybody. And we were all captured this week by a report from UGov with statistics about the question,

what animal could you beat in a fight? Compared to women, men feel most able to take on medium-sized dogs and geese. So the question that was asked here is, which of the following animals, if any, do you think you could beat in a fight if you were unarmed? And the answers are the percentages of people who responded affirmatively. Now this is a key thing to keep in mind when interpreting this data in your mind is that this is a UGov poll of people in the UK. So this is not the average person, this is a Brit.

So keep that mind. This is not a human being. This is a British person. It's an Englishman and imagine them fighting a wild animal. Oy, knock it off bloody stop chewing on me leg and that sort of thing. They're got their jukes up. Don't it? Yeah they're using Marcus to fucking whatever rules against an eagle. The eagle's got its back to me. I must stop punching him. They're using Marquis de Sard's rules against the kangaroo. Getting my hand bitten off by an alligator and screaming, Wanker!

You wanker! Oh boy. So, all right, we've got percentage ranges here in the responses from men and women. So, let's start up the top here. We are going from what I believe is the smallest numbers of people who responded that they think they could beat an animal in an unarmed fight up to the largest. So, 6% of women and 7% of men responded that they believe that they could beat a grizzly bear unarmed in a fight. Imagine having that kind of confidence. I would love to feel like that about myself. Were they taking this poll like in a nightclub bathroom? Probably near a flat surface? I mean okay so let's just say the 7% of women 8% of men in the UK are just like super jacked like

just enormously muscular is that what this is people that are like yeah I keep in really good shape I've mastered several styles of martial art and I think if a full-grown grizzly came at me, like it's on. That grizzly is going down. I mean they probably, maybe they don't think a grizzly bear is that large. Maybe they've never seen TV. That's true. Maybe they've only seen them represented in a yogi bear, Monsi. Maybe they think it's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. theeat. thei. thei. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. that's that's i bear type manner. Maybe they think it's Paddington bear.

It's the only bear they know. That's what it is. I think you hit it, yeah. That's not true. Winnie the poo is the other one they know. And that fits right in with the theory. Oh, he's slow. You can fucking destroy Winnie in the trunk of my car.

Just beating him over the head. This this reminds me of a of a classic something awful thread. Great. We're possibly the most divorced from reality people face a plan. My roommates and I have had an ongoing argument ever since watching the movie Grizzling Man. We were discussing, discussing how strong grizzly bears are and then got to wondering what it would take to kill a grizzly bear. I felt that five to six adult athletic men would be able to kill a grizzly bear with their bear hands. My examples were people like Ben Wallace and Shack. My roommate's think I'm totally crazy. the bear would win with th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the their thi thi thi thi their their their their th- th- th-y the the the their their their their their the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the. the. the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea thea thee crazy and the bear would win with ease.

My logic is that the humans, although not as fast, could outsmart slash distract the bear, wear it down and then proceed to beat the hell out of it. I figured to successfully kill a bear would take numerous blows to the head or possibly strangulation. My room... Troking out a bear. How thick do you think the head or possibly strangulation. But everyone... choking out a bear. Trying to choke out of the bear. How thick do you think their necks are? Like,

extremely sick. Seeing the people who like go out to the woods and have a handgun and that doesn't stop a bear from eating them? Like... Um, I'm going to go with the bear on this one. I'd take the bear. I don't I don't think seven Shaquilleonials in their prime could take out a grizzly bear. I think if you had the sheer mass of seven Shacks and they all coordinated they could pin that bear to the ground. Sure. I disagree. So second we have this is the only one where the

genders are flipped. Oh I see women think more. Yeah so seven percent of men think that they could beat a lion in an unarmed fight and eight percent of women. Lucy can you shed any light on this for us? Now Lucy you're a woman. Yeah maybe they're thinking of like a sexy sleek lion and the gleaned. of women. Lucy, can you shed any light on this for us? Now Lucy, you're a woman. Maybe they're thinking of like a sexy sleek lioness from the lion king. Maybe, but what if, what if like you came between the sexy sleek lioness and its cub, you know, that would be all kinds of trouble? I don't know. I'm confused by this one. I don't believe that I could fight a lion personally. So I'm just going to need to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to theira theira theirate theirate theirate their their their their theira thii their their their their their their their theirsee theirsee theirsee theirsesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesese theirse theirse theirse theirsese theirsesesesesese theirsesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesef. thiii thi thi th I don't believe that I could fight a lion personally. So I'm just going to need you to reiterate that argument for me. Yours is that they might be picturing a sexy lion from a cartoon and that that's frozen. Maybe it's because we were all so

horny for teenage Simba too. We've got positive thoughts towards lions. Us ladies. You're You trying to cast that as a as a as a as a as a as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal as a universal universal as a universal. universal experience. Oh I mean maybe men were horny for teenage Simba too. I am okay this is not something that I've heard before. Oh okay I need to start listening to women more. Yeah you do I feel like hey you were like in December right like in December. You wanted to fuck all the Disney cartoons right. I think we can all agree that the Fox from the Robin Hood cartoon. He was sexy so was teenage fox. You want to the this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this. You this this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is. You this is this is. You this is. You this is. You this is. You this is. You this is. You this. You this. You this. You this. You this. You this. You to to to to to to to to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I the the this is this is not this is the this is this is the fox from the Robin Hood cartoon. He was sexy so was teenage Simba. I don't know about Simba Simba's a child please. Teenage Simba. Oh all right. Yeah 19 year old Simba that's right. Barely legal. You want a you want Matthew Broderick Simba not Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Hot teen lion lion. That's right. Correct. Thank you. Okay that's fair. That's fair. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the the. the. Thomas. Hot teen lion. That's right.

Correct. Thank you. Okay, that's fair. That's fair. Are we going to go through all of these animals? Yep. Yes. All right.

Eight percent of women and nine percent of men believe that they could beat an elephant? No. Why do they more people think they could beat an elephant than a grusly bear, I wonder? Sharp bits, maybe, but like- What can you do to an elephant? Yeah, what could you possibly do to an elephant? I don't- I don't think- Like, crawl into its ear and go into its brain?

Okay. I don't think that there is anything you could do to like even slightly shift an elephant's center of gravity, let alone kill it. I think Theo is onto something. You get a full arm inside its ear and then you tickle the part of its brain that makes it commit suicide. You've been that elephant. Bloop!

You want to do a reverse of the situation in Ace Ventura 2, where I come sliding out of the back of the right and you want to dive in there. Find your way in there and then maybe stand up, start stretching around, grab some stuff, put it where it shouldn't be. Give it a real jostling in there. I've just re-rounded his intestines into his blood, so this is going to find out. That's I do understand it to be a series of pipes so changing the fittings around yeah yeah if I disconnect this from here

plug it into here well that's not going to do them any favors swapped your endocrine system for your heart this will probably be weird. Oh no you've given that elephant IBS. All right again I can't. this thi this thi' the this will probably be weird. this this th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the the this the the this the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin th is th is the th is the th is thin the thin thin is thin is the is the is the is the is the is theeeeat. theeating. theeeeatings. theeeat. theeee is the fitting I can't understand the 8% of women and 9% of men who believe that they could best a gorilla in unarmed gomboats. Absolutely not. I don't think people understand. We've discussed chimps strength. Yes, we have. People don't know about chimp strength. We aretimes on this podcast. People don't know about chimp strength.

We are a chimp strength expertise podcast. I think. You know that when I first saw that, the remake of the Planet of the Apes movie with James Franco in it, where there's a bit where a gorilla throws a really big hammer and I thought now this is a movie that knows about chimps strength. Well chimpanzese is much lower on the list. A lot of people think they could take a chimpanzee.

Fools, what and all. I reckon if you could sneak up on it. But again, King hit in the back of the head. How many, how many people here, how to be unarmed because I think a lot of people... They're thinking about having a gun. Like subterfuge? They're thinking of me like, oh yeah I'm unarmed, but I have a knife in my sock. Well I'm sure there are all kinds of people who could convince themselves, oh I'm on a plane and it crashes into the jungle and me and all the survivors are being stocked by a pumme. I'd I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I they they they they they they they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they're th. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I ta. I'll ta. I'll ta ta. I ta ta theeee. I'll theeee. I the being stalked by a puma. I'd be smart enough

to make some of my own rope and set up some snares. Fashioning my own little stake to get it with. Does deforestation count as a weapon? I'm playing the long game. Varsely different gender on the King Cobra. 8% of women versus 23% of men. Like, do you think... Strange. Maybe they think they're going to do the Jean-Claude Van Damme, catch the snake by the neck.

There's 100% what they picture themselves doing. Yeah. I'm pretty fast, they say. And three quarters of men see themselves doing that as well. Nine percent of women and 16 percent of men believe they could kill a wolf. It's important to know, I think the other ones were like, all of them, the women and men values are within like, Margin of error with each other. Yeah, they're about the same.

This the first one where you really see the dude's rock mentality coming in. Starting to kick in down here in the low end. All of a sudden they're asking the same men who all think that they could beat Serena. Beat Serena Williams. Beat Serena Williams. One a chance point. A hundred percent. Return one sir from Serene.

This is the effect psychologist referred to as the guy who broke his back at Questicon effect. Oh man. What a tale. You got up for trying to know? I think a wolf is into the first category of things that you could actually conceivably have a chance to kill. No, no, you don't.

No, you are one of the guys. I was going to ask, where does everyone start to think think think think think think to think to to to to to kill him? No, no, you don't. He here, you are one of the fucking guys. I was going to ask, where does everyone start to think they could kill it? Nowhere on this list. No, no, no, I'm not saying I think I could kill a wolf. I'm saying no, I understand. I'm saying that a wolf is the first thing to enter the bracket of something where like when you're talking about grizz the gri gri gri gri gri gri gri gri gri gri gri gri gri gri gri gri gri the the the th th th. th th. th. to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th. to th. thi. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they can't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to they to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. to the. the thi. thi. they're they crocodiles, these are all things with a physical mass that even... That it's just immediately... Before you get into anything else, this animal could just physically crush you without even needing big sharp claws. You could deliver a kick just at random and maybe catch the wolf directly in the brain

and knock it out of the air. Like, like you could cause the kind of damage to a wolf that would actually... Like by accident. Yeah, by accident, by accident to actually... Yes, or maybe if the wolf has knocked you over and is trying to bite your face immediately, which is the first thing that would happen, maybe you've got a chance to like poke it in the eyes or something, you know, something to bother it. Whereas all of the other animals before this point I'm like you are not even... You're not scratching the surface. You're not getting this thing to break a sweat. And this is the first thing where at least...

This is the first thing where you are at least in the same ballpark of like physical mass with another animal. You know? Oh, sorry, I thought chimpanzee was further up the list. Chimpanzee we kind of talked about, but it's further down. Chimpanzees the same weight as a human as well. But we have the aforementioned chimps strength. Chimp strength. Just for the record, I don't think I could beat a grisly bear but I could beat the band grisly bear in a fight. If I had to.

Oh me too. If they're all they're very I like. Very wayfish. Very soft looking. I reckon I could sort of shall in style my way through all of them relatively easily. 11% of women and 17% of men think that they could beat a kangaroo in a th th th th th th th th th th th th th th they they they th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I th. I. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. te. te. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. I'm too. I'm too. I too of men think that they could beat a kangaroo in a fight. See that's just, you're all wrong, you are all incredibly wrong. I saw that video. Yeah, we all saw that video of the guy just teeing off and punching a kangaroo in the face a bunch of times. The kangaroo. Yeah, it goes, whoa. Hey. So, you know, again, I think there is a case to be made for potentially, even if you

could jump on a kangaroo and try and wring its neck, maybe it can't do anything with its big legs if you toppled it over. I don't know. They got little skulls. I reckon you could accidentally give it a brain bleed. Yep. Just the right hit at the right time. Uh, skipping it. Now, now people are starting to get more enthusiastic about large dog. Uh, 8% of women, sorry, 15% of women and 31% of men think they could kill a large dog.

I assume we're thinking of something like a German Shepherd, a big, a Rottweiler, a Doberman. Something say, Louis sized. I could beat, I could beat Louis in a fight. You can beat Louis in a fight. I'd just point behind him and... Run. He's not a smart man, certainly,

but he's making his way in the world as best as he can. Huh, God bless it. So large dog, 23% of guys think they could. I think you would have a better time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time to have a better time to have a better time with a kangaroo than with a large dog, personally. If you can get past the kicking. If you can get past the kicking. You're going to get bitten by a large dog. Yeah, a large dog is pointing its biting apparatus at you the whole time, and that's what

it's all about. You know. They're old sluice. You know? Kangaries, you just got to keep your eyes on the feet. And avoid those. They're old slices. Yeah. But, uh, large dog, no thank you. We're all... Nobody likes that.

Nobody likes... I got chased by guard dogs one time. Oh. Being chased by a dog is not fun. Then 39% of women and 60% of men say they could beat a medium-sized dog. Very funny. Yeah, yep. Yeah. So I guess look, let's let's call it like it is. We are getting into the bracket of animals that you can. I'm surprised that's so, I'm surprised that's so low. Like imagine a beagle coming after you,

you can just pick it up by its head and swing it around like a hamstrow. We're talking like a staffy or something right. I was thinking more of a stafi, but uh, like a border collie. That kind of size. Meaim ssized poodle? So this is, I'm just going to say, I don't think this is a great look for anyone, women or men, but 51% of women and 71% of men

think that they could beat a goose unarmed in a fight and to that I say, 30 to 50% of people think that they would be killed by a goose. Yeah, okay, so that's something that I think we need to identify to identify to identify to identify to identify to identify to identify to identify to identify to identify to identify to identify to identify to identify to identify to identify to identify to identify to identify their our thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi this this this thi thi this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi% of people think that they would be killed by a goose. That's something that I think we need to identify our terms here, right? Like, this is where I start to say I could beat it. I could beat a goose. Does beat mean kill? Is this a fight to the death? I think it's a fight until one of them leaves. Yeah, I think it's an angry one of these animals has engaged you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you.. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus. I thus. I thus. Yeah I think it's an angry one of these animals has engaged you.

You could just fly kick a goose in the head. You could just annihilate him. And you've you've had to fight off this animal and it's given up or died when you kicked the goose in the head and its neck immediately broke. I get that they've got relatively terrifying bills and they can do shit to you and they'll nip you or whatever but like okay my legs are leading I've kicked its head apart. I've enjoyed kicking its head apart. One thing. I'm wearing jeans. I'm wearing jeans it's like I'm being pinched by somebody. It sucks. Oh quit it! And as people have pointed out about the goose, you can just, if you can grab their neck, you can just snap it.

You just shake it and they die. That's it. Fuck you, Goose. Can we just two spots up? I don't think we discussed the percentages on eagles. Oh no. Twenty-three percent of men believe that they could beat an eagle in a fight. If I know that the eagle's coming, I'm pretending that I don't and then I wait for the perfect

moment. Right as it's about to strike me, I turn around my cold coconut in the face. The combined speed of my perfect Shaolin style punch and the speed of the bird is just exploiting a ball of feathers. I'm sorry, America. It'd be like when you punch a magpie. Is that like an example from your own life? I have punched a magpie.

What? Like, not like one that was just unknowing. Just sitting there. Just gone and the coward punched it. Yeah, I felt really bad. But it had to be like like like like like th be like th be like th be like th be like to be like to be like to be th be th be th be th be th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the like the. I the like the. I that that the. I th like th like th like th like the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the. I the. I thea. I theat theat theat theat thea like like thean. I thean. I thean. I thean. I thea like like like thea liketo swoop me. You punched it. Yeah, I felt really bad, but... It had to be done. I feel like you could do that with the eagle. Did it die?

No, I didn't die. I didn't kill it Magpie. You didn't try to try to punch it to death. All your friends try to clarify, uh, Bird Killer Valentine. Yeah, this is, this is not a podcast wide policy. We do not endorse. I'm not pro-it. Punching, punching birds. Just because one host of this podcast.

What about self-defense? Look, that's fair. I was like, it's a snapper goose as an egg, but when it's a magpie, it's a different story. I was, um, I was driving. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was driving, I was driving, I racism. I was driving back from the coast, however many months ago, and... You crashed into a goose's car. Killing him instantly. Yeah, imagine what a whiplash is going to do to a goose. And so my wife and kids are asleep in the car and we're sort of between one place and our home.

That's just so you know relative to my house. It was about to start specifying places and I'm like, it's not relevant at all. So you're between locations in a location. Between two locations in a car. And an Elner and the kids are asleep, but as I'm driving along, I see this eagle flying quite low overhead. And as I'm driving past this tree,

it sort of sinks up very nicely, this eagle flies across and lands on a branch that is by the time I'm going past, like maybe kind of 10 meters away from the car. So it's very cool both to see it pull up there and also to go past in like actually quite close proximity to it because when you see a wedge tailed eagle close up you go, wow that thing is fucking huge. Like you know, you know when you, yeah like when you near a pelican and you go, yeah, that fuck is big.

It's a big pelican. I've never been surprised by the size of a pelican. I've always got a very accurate idea of how big a pelican is in my head. Hmm. Good for you, Ben. We were talking about all the cockatoos that have been hanging out on our back deck, and I was saying to my kids, don't ever hold your hand out to one of them, by the way, because they have that. You're very confusing, because that's what you do for dogs. Yeah. And with a cockatoo, I feel like, you're just going to let him have a little sniff. And I'm meant to remember a different

to do dogs and a iconic white bird. I can feed, there's other birds that you might be interested in feeding by hand, but they have those beaks that are just like tin snips, you know? I don't know if you've seen pictures of people who've tried to give them stuff and got a bite, and it just looks like someone's used wire cutters and like take a chunk out of the side of their finger. You know the special scissors they give EMTs to very quickly get through outer layers of protective clothing? Yeah. That's what they have for a mouth. Basically, basically, yeah. And I was saying, so don't put your hands out there you wouldn't want to get bitten. And one of the kids was like, yeah, to be like getting bitten by a pelican. I was like the pelican, to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the thioliolk, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their th. their their their thi. their their their their their their their their their their thea. thea. thea, thea, thea, th. No, I've got swallowed whole. I've seen pelicans biting things and it's really funny.

I've seen pelican eat a seagull, not in real life, but... A video? A video? I've seen a pelican eat maybe a swallow or a sparrow or something in real life. And I was like, ha! That's funny, these birds are annoying that pelican. He can't do shit about it. And he just ate one. I was like, oh, that's, that's not what happens, right? Birds don't eat birds as far as I understand it. And there's a valuable lesson that day. Trust no one, not even yourself. I guess my point is that having seen an eagle in relative proximity, I think I might be in the larger percentage of people who don't

think they could take an eagle. I don't think I could take an eagle. I would be fleeing from an eagle. An eagle's coming at me, I'm getting out of here. I'm doing the north by northwest run down the road. Try running sideways. Carry Grant. So we only got two left here.

They're getting grimmer as we go. 64% of women and 74% of men believe that they could win in a fight with a house cat. Like, again, if the aim here is to kill, which is the most final way you can finish a fight, yes, you'll be covered in tiny horrible lacerations. But like... It's a it's a Puric victory right? Like yeah. Cat Scratch fever is a real thing. It's not just a Ted Nugent song about fucking your daughter or something. Whatever Ted Nugent thing about. Yeah, Paul Joseph Watson, the map man that Lucy likes weighed in on this with like, over a quarter of men in the UK think they'd lose a fight with a house cat.

I would lose a fight with a house cat. They're fucked. I got claws, man. Sorry, can I use Paul Joseph Watson's correction here? We may have to recalibrate all of this. Well, he says, correction American says correction American men even worse. I don't know. Oh, this is not from the UK. Oh, God damn. All right, let's start from the job. We've only spent half an hour on this, Paul. That's fine. Yeah, let's start from the top. I'm an American. I think I could be all the animal. I like baseball. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, so. So, so. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this. th. this. th. this. this. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. this. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. this. I. this. I. this. this. I. this. this. this. this. this. this. I. this. I. I. I. I. could be all the animals. I like baseball and french fries. No, no, so so you gov is a British international internet-based market research firm but it's an American national. So the company is is British but we don't know where the results came from. I love Paul Joseph Watson presenting himself as some kind of alpha. It's so funny. It's like this tiny British man. His profile picture or whatever he's

fucking call this, his avatar, don't know. Now display a picture on Twitter is the one that he posted when they started like banning conservatives for hate speech and then he just posted the phrase remember us 20 times and that photo of himself looking sad in front of a sunset? Very melodramatic young man. And that was before he got banned. Yes, I think they're still working on that. The ban order for silencing conservative voices I think is stuffing up the pipes at Twitter at the moment. The pneumatic tubes, they send their messages around with. Speaking of things that could go on on a pneumatic tube, yeah. The last one on the list is a rat. Sorry, I thought you were maybe going into one of the other segments. I didn't know.

You could put a tube rat. Yeah, you could do that, that who are all these men and women who think that they're going to lose a fight to a rat me probably I'd probably lose a fight to a rat you just step on them it feels so gross I just feel so gross you could slap a rat to death you could don't this podcast is not animal abuse I'm a very pro-rat person. We know. Really? We know.

Oh, fucking all right. I'll punch a bird. I'll stab a rat. I'll do my animal. Blunty hell. Ben said, uh, Ben said Goths them when you come in the house. They're very clean animals. They're very clean animals. You know, like when you take a guy home, you take him into the bedroom, he's like, oh, you're a rat person. I smell that. I'm a rat woman. I'm a rat woman. All right. It's one of those. Your friends around, uh, can I just tu. You're gonna, you're to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to the the to the to the to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I tell. I tell. I tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. th. the. their the. I their the right. All right. It's one of those days. Your friends around, can I just turn the TV on?

Yeah, you're gonna, you're gonna have to use the, the buttons on the TV, because the rats ate all of the soft rubber bits out of the remote control. They also pissed in the electrics as well, so you couldn't even get in the cage or are we letting them wander? Free range? Free range? Are we letting them go on the couch? Free range in these rats. Yes, free range in them. They deserve a nice little cuddle every now and again? They deserve a little hop boxing?

Yes. Can I ask you two questions? I promise this interrogation will not last long. How many rats did you have? I have never had rats. I've only had friends with rats. But I would like to get a rat and my boyfriend says that that is never going to happen. Wow, it sounds very controlling. Yeah, I think so too. I think I should dump him, yeah. Dump him. He listens to the podcast. Well, stop telling her to tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I thuuuuuu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu that that thu that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that podcast. Well, stop telling her what she can and can't do, you know, stop trying to control her. Yeah, thank you. They don't have ten rats and put them on little leashes and take them everyone and everyone will

recognize you guys as the rat couple. Ah, it's the fucking rat couple, yes. You can bring your rats inside. Jesus. But they have to stay in the pram. Hi everybody, it's me. It's Theo. Now I guarantee you I'm more afraid of recording this promo than you are of listening to it, so hear me out.

If you haven't already, maybe check out our Patreon. It's a great way to support the show and it gives us the ability to actually dedicate time to this thing. You'll get all of our bonus episodes, that's over 300 extra episodes in total, and we'll set up a feed over there with none of these promos, so you won't have to hear this ever again. You'll also get access to our Discord, which honestly is turned into a nice and funny place full of mostly normal people to hang out with. So that's Patreon. to Com. and a plain segment. And any other ones?

You have Lucy specific segments? Well, I feel like I would like to have some more. Well, perfect time to debut a new one. What's it called? That's right, rental, in it. It really flows. So I said rental instead of mental. I don't know if that was clear.

I thought you were stumbling over your words. Oh, yeah. Like you were talking about earlier in the show. There's a call back. Yeah. So what's going on in this segment, Lucy? So I'm just, so I'm looking for an apartment in Melbourne, which I would like my own, but in case I can't get one because I work as a podcast or a writer. You meant to hide that in your applications, that's what I had to do. Yeah, I'm

just trying to find a way to completely lie about everything to do with my life. I'm a creative industry. I'm a creative consultant. So I am in the sharehouse posting group on Facebook from Melbourne called Fairy Floss Real Estate. And it just makes me remember that living in a sharehouse is the absolute worst time of your life. And if you make through it, make it through alive, then you're an amazing person and nothing can kill you um um um um um....... to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to their their their to to to to to to to to to to their consultant. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the c the c the c the ca. I the ca. I the ca. I the. I the. I theateateathea. I thea. I theateathea. I theateathea. I theateateathea. I. I theateate. I the c worst time of your life. And if you make through it, make it through alive, then you're an amazing person and nothing can kill you after that. So I've been looking at the most insane sharehouse posts on that group.

But I did see an amazing tweet that is not from Melbourne the other day, and I think we should start with that one. Because it is a share... with that one. Because it is a sheer housepost from Portland, Oregon in the United States of America. I'll just dive in. Hello, we're creatures co-op, a queer collective located in Northeast Portland. We're a community of 10 creatures, five of them being human. Don't say it like that. We're all animals, you know?

We're all animals. We're all part of the... No, me either. We're all God's creatures, but don't talk about God when you hear. We're looking for one new critter to join us. Don't call me a critter. And feel a cheap makeshift room. It is a little bigger than 8 by 8 and well built out of recycled doors. Now I just want to make sure I've got this right here.

So they're American, which means that they're going to be talking about, I assume, 8 feet by 8 feet. I believe that's one cubit. If that helps our internationalism. Sure, it's two very tall men. There's a two and a half meter square. Really tall man. Two and a half meter square space for you to live in.

Yeah. I would also note that usually like, usually a room is built of walls. As soon as you start building a room out of recycled doors, I feel like you're setting yourself up to fail. You're pushing the boundary of water room. Upside down world where your walls are made of doors and your door is a wall. No, your door is actually a curtain.

Yeah. It's a bead curtain specifically. We can see you and hear you. There is a picture of this room in the listing, which is basically, it's exactly what you would think it is. So it's located just off the living room near the front door. It has some furnishings and can be fully furnished with no trouble at all, probably, because it's 8 by 8 feet. What you can put in there? It's just a bed.

We have finished. Well, rent is only $302 per month, so that's fine. We also collect monthly house funds, which are usually around $15 to $20 a person. Sure. Read our mission statement. No. All right, hold on. I'm just going to say, right off the bat, if I'm considering living with someone and they tell me they have a mission statement, I am. Yeah, and a lot of these posts are like this, which is why they're so awful. Creatures Co-op focuses on building a community of creatures that share common goals. Here is our handwritten manifesto. Yes.

Focuses on building a community of creatures that share common goals. We aim to embrace differences, hold accountability for safe and warm spaces, and be as conscientious as possible in pursuit of a healthy environment. So you're going to accuse me of gas lighting when I ask you to do the dishes. That's what I'm hearing. Like none of these things are bad, obviously. Like I mean what they're saying they want to things are bad obviously like I mean what they're saying they want to do but the moment you say like when you say it

try to do here is we're making a commitment to making a place that's nice to live. That's like an inherent quality of a home. But if you write it in your mission statement. You're insane. You're in the worst place to be. Also the hold accountability for say for all places. That's the part that says to me, we will all be pointing our fingers at each other and accusing each other of things. Yes. I noticed the other night, we could hear it through your bead curtain that you were watching South Park.

That is a micro aggression. All right, so it's like this is a description of you, the prospective housemates, some of it seems fine. Acab, don't be ableest, racist, homophobic, transphobic and misogynist, etc. Fine. It's great, John. Must love dogs. We have three and some are loud but very lovable. We also have two cats. Blah, blah, blah. No pets of your own, please. Completely fine. Okay with noise. You're located off the living room and by the front door, so you will hear a lot of traffic. Your walls don't extend all the way to the ceiling, so you will hear a lot of stuff. So basically, basically this room is like, they've partitioned off a section of the living room that is closest to the entry the entry the entry to the entry to the entry to the entry to to the entry to to the entry to to to the entry to to to to to the entry to to the entry to to the entry to to to to to to the. the. to thi. thi. theateateateateateate. thiate. thiate. thiate. thiatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. toge. te. te. te. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. t a section of the living room that is closest to the entryway.

Yes. It's some makeshift walls and a shower curtain by the look of it. Makeshift walls. I would love to move into somewhere that was described as makeshift. Absolutely. Nothing says you can stay as long as you like describing your residence as makeshift. But like you said, Lucy, there's a picture there and so it is made out of like. th. th. th. th. th.. th th th th the th th the th th the th th th the the thi the the thi thi. It is the the the the the the the the to the to to to to their their to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ent ent entry entry the entry the entry way entry way the entry way the entry way the thea thea. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, said Lucy there's a picture there and so it is made out of like I guess recycled doors, they look like sort of cabinet doors like off a pantry or something like that. Yeah. And they're all just kind of stuck together. The effect is the same as if you just like took a series of screens, like bamboo deck screening type stuff and just enclosed the space. And in both of the photos

there is, I would say, at least sort of three or four feet of clearance above the top of the doors going to the ceiling. Yeah. You know what the best thing is, is that it's an angled ceiling where where the top of the doors going to the ceiling. Yeah. You know, the best thing is, is that it's an angled ceiling where the wedge shape directs the outside sound of the room to reflect directly down into your enclosed space. But don't worry, it's just house noise, right? Just regular noise, no weird noises. Just the three loud barking dogs so far.

Oh, yet again, something that seems fine. You have to be okay with sex workers. Yeah, that's fine. Fantastic. We have three in our house and frequently have loud sex noises. Okay, so how many, hold on a second, I'm going back to us. So there's already five people who live in this house. They're putting an extra bedroom in the loud. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the th. Yeah. the the the the the there. Yeah. Yeah. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. Oh. there. there. there's there's there. Oh. there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. there. there. No. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there's there's there's there's th. We's tho. We're thoe. We're thoe. We're thoe. We're thoe. there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there in this house. They're putting an extra bedroom in the loudroom. Three of the five people are sex workers who have... Frequently loud sex.

Who frequently have clients in the house. And you live in a room with no... Has no privacy. That is not closed in on any side and directs noise into your space. Extremely appealing. Imagine the romantic ambience in your room. You also have to have little to know belongings. We have no storage space and the room is small. I think that might be the most psycho one to me. Like if you just said, you can't have too many belongings

because we don't really have any storage space, little to no, no one has no belongings. Surely. I guess what, so basically what they're saying here is that like the room is large enough for you to sleep in and I guess live out of a suitcase, is that about it? You need to be an ascetic monk and you will be fine. Except you can't get horny from the sex noises. So probably not ideal for a monk. It's going to be a problem for you. You have to be okay with being a secret roommate. The landlord doesn't know but also seems to not care. Right, so that's fun. You could just be at any time. Yep, that goes hand in hand with the makeshift room I think. And you have to be willing to contribute to a community environment. We all have weekly chour nights that are important to keep up with and we all pitch in for larger chores too.

We all contribute to a free food pile. We have monthly house meetings where we share a meal, do projects and we all contribute what we're able to house funds and fund for larger projects. Great, so you got to chip in 40 bucks a month so that someone can make a statue and it's a toilet and inside the toilet it says capitalism. Yeah. How much the toilet cost? Oh for fuck sake. And yeah, this is a it's just some boards and a shower curtain. Anyway, that sounds incredibly appealing. Luckily, there would be nothing that insane in Australia. Although there's one line at the end here, which is,

it is a requirement that you be actively non-judgmental. Actively non-judgmental. Yeah, which is a very interesting phrasing to me. See what, you have to get up every morning and be like, oh hey, your fuck noises didn't keep me up all night. Yeah. I kind of like, I know that they're saying through all of this, you know, we all pitch in for things and we contribute and that sort of stuff. But, so, and there's all this other stuff that you have to be okay with. You have to be okay with noise.

You have to be okay with sex workers. But again, as we've said, there's a difference between, like, there's a difference between not having anything against sex workers and literally living in the lounge room as everybody's doing sex work in every room around you. You have to be okay with hosting other people on the couch. On the couch. There will be people constantly crashing on the couch. Oh, I missed that bit.

Yeah, so it says okay with hosting. The couch that's right there. Yeah, we host folks on our couch who are in need of transitional housing for two weeks at a time. So anybody, so you'd constantly have people on the couch so that any time of the day or night that you get up there's going to be somebody in that room. And like again, you got to pay for your room. And not only can you not lock the door, there isn't a door. There is no doors. The walls are doors. I feel like the doors are closing in. And then on top of all of this right down at the end there is you must be actively non-judgmental

which to me feels like a... A more... Practice gratitude. Well to me it's a more subtle way of saying you are not allowed to criticize anybody. Don't criticize for a bitch. That's absolutely what I'm hearing. Because you've already been told you have to like all these things and you have to be okay with all these things and you have to be okay with all these things and you have to not judge anybody else including us and all of our friends who are to the to the to........... I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. That's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. that's that's that's that's that's the the that's absolutely. that's absolutely that's absolutely. that's absolutely. that's absolutely. that's absolutely. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's toe. time and all that sort of stuff. You got to pay money to put in for the food for the people who are here constantly coming and going through the house but you're not allowed to judge anyone at any point. Putting it 75 bucks a week to have the Harry Potter experience except

you're not afforded the closeable door that he has and also there's the sound of people fucking constantly. And also it shares a light, the lights on the same circuit as the living room. So when they switch the lights on and off, your light will also be on and off because it is the living room. They've just put some doors and a curtain. Yes. A bit of a door and a curtain. A bit of a door and curtain. Well, it's very appealing. Time for me to go to bed. Standing up and taking three steps to the right. All right, I am going to get into this last one, because we're already over time. So this one's from Melbourne, and I screenshot it, but it has since been removed, but from memory this was a house in Thornbury, or Preston.

And I have screened at the end of the sentence, which says family who popped by, which is already horrifying. Hmm. The thought of... I don't want to meet your uncles. I don't want to meet anyone that I'm living with this family. Time to meet my 17 uncles. I will make your mom a cup of tea and make five to ten minutes of conversation while you get out of the shower. And then after that I'm like, well, Glenis, it was lovely meeting you. I am going to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go the the their the after that, I'm like, well, Glenis, it was lovely meeting you.

I am going to go into my room and watch hardcore pornography now. Oh, but it does get worse. So in this home, they enjoy exploring our personal development through diversity practices like psychology, Chinese medicine, political reflection and dreaming. Imagine. I'm sorry if this is your home. medicine, political reflection and dreaming. Imagine? I'm sorry if this is your home. Imagine this is your home.

Imagine the podcast. What are these four things as a combination, they're insane. Psychology, Chinese medicine, political reflection and dreaming. They're all clashing with each other so hard. Yeah, it really are. We love to... Oh, go ahead. I was just going to say, what night of the month are we doing th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to thi. thi. to thi. tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to, to. to, to. to. toaa. toa. toa. to. to. to. to. to. to going to say, what night of the month are we doing our political reflection on, guys? Yeah, and when's time for a dreaming? We love to play

and be spontaneous together, encouraging each other through the fluxes and flows of life. Love a good dance floor when the moment calls, though we also value quiet time spent in solitude. Together, we love spending time in solitude. Yep. We also value heart-to-heart conversations sharing weekly and monthly practices together. Huh. So you said you're gonna watch a movie tonight?

If you check the, uh, it's actually hard to heart night. Lawrence of Arabia, that's interesting. That's got a three and a half hour run time. I don't know if you noticed, it's on the calendar. Dreaming? We're meant to be dreaming. Really, it's got to clash with a one hour unbroken eye contact session this evening.

We actually, the laugh circle. I don't know if we hear the laughter over the sound of the cinematic score to Lawrence of Arabia. Again, this is an ad for renting a room in a sharehouse. Ideally you are commutally minded and enjoy sharing. We share daily meals. This sounds like a fucking nightmare already. You are also an active contributor to the energy of the home. You always got on the treadmill that generates electricity. I think... Yeah, uh, active contributor, oh my god, to the energy. Yeah, the vibe.

The vibes. You have to walk through the door like Kramer. Yeah, a lot of these posts are about vibes. That's a theme I'm getting particularly in the you know in a Melbourne suburbs. You're also inspired and creative. This next one really gets me you're down to earth which is the exact opposite of every single thing that has been said that's why in this post. That's what gets me about like all of heaps of this other shit to me is like the granola version of LinkedIn language like

like self-driven and motivated practicing integrity a transparent and emotionally mature communicator orienting toward an abundance mindset I think that's the secret it could well be the secret it must be right but also again all of those things are things are things things that things are the secret. It must be right. But also again all of those things are things that you would just have to have like a psychotic level of self-regard to describe yourself as someone else. Yeah. But you're going to be down to earth. Responding to the sharehouse ad being like, oh yeah, I'm Lucy. I'm on a podcast and I really enjoy orienting towards an abundance mindset. Good Lord, imagine.

Imagine getting that message. Oh, anyway, this is... I, is that about having the mindset that orienting you towards abundance? I don't know what the sentence means. I think it's specific, I think it's referring to a specific thing that I forget what it is now. The secret. It's the secret. It's the secret. It's the secret. Well, this is in a seven bedroom home by the way. So there will be six, six other roommates for you to share regular heart-to-heart wips, and the- and the- and the-and-and-and-and-and-and-in, and the-in, and the-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, it's-so-so-soa-s, it's-s, it's-s, the-s, it's-s, it's-s. It's-s. It's-s. It's-s. It's-s. It's-s. It's-s. It's-s. It's-s. It's-s. It's-s. It's-s. It's-s. It's-s. It's-s. It-s. It's-s. It-s. It's-s. It's-s. It's-s. It's-a-a-a-a-s. It's-a-s. It's-a-a-a-s-s-s-a-s-s. It's-s-s-s. the-s-shoer-shoca-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-s. the-s. the-s. the-s. the fluxes and flows of life. Yes, which I assume is swinging. Yeah, the playing and being spontaneous together. Playing and being either spontaneous play.

To me, they're either describing one of two things. And they're equally bad, I think. The first is theater sports. So you're doing improv games on a Tuesday night. Give me a location. And the second is you're all sucking and fucking each other all the time. Probably. Which has its virtues. Certainly, I wouldn't stop anyone from sucking and fucking.

I'm going to say, hey, get that dick out of your mouth. I think, I think though, with both the houses, right? Like, previous ones and this one, if you want to have a co, their, to have a, to have a, to have a, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, the, to, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, tto, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the particular vibe and stuff, that's fine. Set that up with your friends. Like you already, but they're like, these are this, they're like, oh, you have to be, come in and be exactly the same people as us and just be weird and also not complain when I have a ferret that eats all of your headphone cables. Well, yeah, you've sort of get some friends that already have ferrets. Well you've hit on what struck me about this Theo which is very much the same thing. I was thinking to myself I can see a scenario where there are people who live in a sharehouse who could have a

house like this and be happy with it and describe it this way and they would all be people who already knew each other for a bunch of time before they moved in together. You love permaculture, do all this sort of stuff. That's fine. As a person renting a sharehouse, what I want is to make my dinner in peace, wash up all my dishes, and then go and close the door at about quarter past seven. Yes, and not speak to anyone else in my home. These are the exact kind of people. If you do see someone, like in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha tha tha tha thiiole thiolecula thiole thiole they they they they they they they thoom curpera they they they're thoomcultuole they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thoomcolic thoomcul. thoom. thoom. they thoes. thoes. they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thoes. thoes. thoes. thooooooooooooooom. thooooooooooooomorrow thoooes. thoes. thoes. they anyone else in my home. These are the exact

kind of people. If you do see someone like in the course of your evening, you're startled by it. Yeah, Chris, I thought you're doing night shift tonight. Yeah, that's it. These are exactly the people that want their house a certain way then keep getting a new house mate and then they're like, I don't know I just, the vibe. You're just not a good fit. Not a good team fit. Oh God, that's how many people they've sat down and just been like, yes, I will admit, you are a transparent communicator, but we all agree you're not emotionally mature. So we're gonna have to ask you to pack your shit up and leave right now. Of course you're not actually on the paperwork, so you have no rights. You have no rights. We've started smudging your room now, so it would be best if you get all of your vives

out of there before we finish. Do not fuck up the crystals in that room. I don't know if I'm just, like, I've always been a person who was not super keen on big sharehouses and stuff like that. They are the worst. Yeah, like, I think that there's an element the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, like I think that there's an element to it as well of like the I think the majority of people I don't know if it's like this for everybody else but the majority of people that you share houses with

for like whatever period of time as in just friends a lot of the time you won't be friends with them. You end up not being friends. Don't let your friends move in with you into a home. That's advice from me for free. Yeah. Yeah. Just don't do it. And I think that one of the things is that like when you're talking about this scenario where maybe you are already friends and you've created this house but you need someone else

else to pay for the fucking seventh bedroom in this. need like $300 so you put up some doors and writing up some screed. Yeah, is the least again in that scenario, if you already knew people before you moved into a place, then you actually have like at least some incentive to communicate with each other a bit more clearly about like what you want and if somebody's kind of making you unhappy or whatever, if it's somebody where it is purely a financial relationship of someone who has just moved in because they needed a house and you needed to pay the rent or whatever. It takes like, there is so much less of a buffer

to be like, I think I fucking hate this guy now. There's been three things have happened and I'm done. Yeah, when it's your friend, it's no good. And like, so yeah, I think, I think if it's your friend, then you have at least a bit of, a bit of that sort of inbuilt rapport and existing relationship with each other, which is the incentive to work at it. My preferred situation is living with a person who I am in a relationship with because then that's the incentive. The incentive to be like, oh, it behooves us both a great deal to

get along. To be normal. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, complete. Well, it's.

Et cetera. Yeah. If you're living in a, if you're in a relationship with someone, in a relationship with someone. fucking... well it's... It's... etc. Yeah. If you're living... Slovenliness. If you're in a... If you're in a relationship with someone and you live together and you rent together and all that sort of thing, and you sleep in the same bed and all that sort of stuff, then like having

a fight with someone... Oh you sleep in the singles together. Asking Caitlin for help pushing the singles. But yeah, I think that there's, you know, like it impacts you a lot more if you have an argument with someone and you like go to bed that evening and they're there. They're there in the bedroom. You kind of have to sort it out in order to get along. If you're married and you have kids and shit like that, you have to sort your stuff out so you can just fucking get on with your life. You know? Whereas share housing is just a process of attrition. Yeah, you can just be like, it's going to tip over to the point where I'm just like, I don't want to say anything to this person anymore when I see them and I don't want to live live live live live live live live live live live live live live to live live to live to live live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live in to live in to live in my to live in to live in my to live in to live in to live in to live in to live in to live in to live in to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live to live in my to live in my to live in my the to live in my the the the the the the to live in the the the to live in the the the to live in the to live in to live in to live in to live in to live in to live in my house, you know? And then these people are just trying to pluck somebody off the fucking internet with an ad and say, let's just slot you in there. Into the vibe.

So if anyone has any insane sharehouse postings, please send them my way. Send them to Lucy at Puentevista. That's right. So there's just a paragraph there where they're describing the house, just nothing tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, the their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the thi, the the thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, there where they're describing the house, just nothing too crazy, double story, seven-bedroom home, it's kind of crazy, it's huge, double-story, seven-bedroom home, workshop space and garage, big front and back gardens, two living spaces, incredible bath, way too many bathrooms, that sounds like an American situation. I don't think you can have too many bathrooms in a sharehouse situation. That means you can go to the toilet anytime. You need to go to the toilet. That sounds like a real dream. You have the one specific toilet, it's just for the really bad shit. Oh, I was just walking to the long walk into the far toilet. I'm just peeing in there. Yeah, I was in there for a while. Seven bedrooms plus spare room for

guests and friends. Eight bedroom house. Eight bedroom giant house. Upstairs they have those in university areas I guess. Oh yeah that makes sense. $776 a month. I feel like that's too much to have six housemates, just personally. What does this? What's going on here? Upstairs master with onsuit, $776 per calendar month. Sharing with three other people. Oh! Oh!

Excuse me? How do you share an onsuit? That's not... Are you sharing the room? Are you just sharing the upstairs? Well, because I don't think the sharing the onsweet is on the cards because they've just described having too many bathrooms. Too many bathrooms.

I think you're sharing a bedroom. A bedroom. A bedroom. A bedroom. And that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's their. I's their, I's their, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the rent. That's too much to be sharing a bedroom. Surely. In my opinion? It's a double-story seven-bedroom home. No, you couldn't sharing with... Well, I'm not hearing much of an abundance mindset from you here, Ben. Oh yeah, right. There should be an abundance of people in my bedroom.

There will always be more toilets. Thanks there. It's the abundance mindset. Well, I I I I I I I I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tha. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tha, thets. Thanks there. It's the abundance mindset. Well, I think we are just about out of time for this week. If you do have any crazy rental listings that you do see, please send them into Lucy at Buntavista.com or mail bag at Buntavista.com. Call up the hotline, leave us a message. Have a chat, you know, have a yarn. Just have a yarn.

Just call us up for a chat. We won't be there on the line, but we'll listen to you. We'll hear that. We'll definitely get people that do do something of that nature to the voice of people having a one-sided conversation. Yeah, uh, call 1,800, 3175.5-that's the Bundavista Hotline. And then you too can get on the blower and sort it out.

And what could be better than that? Thanks everybody. See you later. Bye. Bye. Hi. to