Boonta Vista - EPISODE 201: Centuries Of Teats

Episode Date: May 30, 2021

This week: a college football edition of Great American Hall of Name, some airborne feminism, a cow who can see things beyond our ken, and (you guessed it) the Shipping Report. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hi, this is Haley Joel Osmond and I just wanted to wish everyone at Boone to Vista a hearty congratulations on 200 episodes. Thanks for all the years and all the last. Peace. Hello and welcome, Borda Vista, episode 201. My name is Ben and I am here in the top secret lab in which the novel coronavirus was created. With me as Andrew, head scientist of the Dutch research team that secretly created novel coronavirus on purpose. Andrew, what do you have to say for yourself? It tasks delicious. I had actually put 50 bucks down on

oopsy so that was a delightful delightful surprise. It was very much on purpose. To what end? Was it, is the deliciousness a byproduct or did you make it because it's delicious? I was actually trying to make something really delicious and it turned out to be highly infectious. Wait a second is this a new strain of the coronavirus that's highly infectious? Ah, fuck! It does taste very good. Hmm. To the extent that I wanted a salad dressing, it is... It has been a success. Historically, this salad dressing has the highest taste to body count ratio of any of

either two made. We don't really have numbers on how much ranch dressing has gone bad and taken a life. Not to hand, no. If you are a listener of the show, Judd, and you have at hand the number of people in Australia that have been killed by salad dressing, please, please, please, give me that number. Surely more people in America have been killed by salad dressing due to their like salmonella in eggs kind of situation, you know? Yes, definitely. Because they love the taste of salmonella. Well, you know any anything mayonnaise based potential

killer. Also with us is Theo who helped and he's Dutch as well because this is a Dutch lab where novel coronavirus is novel coronavirus novel coronavirus. The secret is the secret is sugar, and dried skin of mice. And he moved here from France. It's the ancient scientific rule that the ingredients in your concoction must rhyme. And finally, also with us is Lucy, who is the least morally culpable, because while technically employed by the lab, she spends her whole working week reading sexy fan fiction about the Buffy spin-off, Angel. Oh Angel, you are a card but I love it. That is so true. I was going to say, can I interrupt you to say that your face is really, yeah, the mix of emotions this is correct. Sorry, is there something wrong with watching one of the greatest television shows of all

time? No, no, but I do have some follow-up questions. First one is, did you, oh it's a two-part question, sorry. Did you find the character spike attractive and what age were you when you found him attractive? Yes, and at all ages? Actually, that's not true. I definitely, when I was younger, I thought that Xander was the hot one, but I was so incorrect because the other one is clearly spiked. So, I was a child. I was a child. I was a child. Yeah. You were getting your brain pumped full of those

Joss Whedonisms you know that's right I I felt down a sad little rabbit hole the other day of reading the Wikipedia entry of the actor Nicholas Brendan is it Nicholas Brendan he's, it's not good. That motherfucker is having a bad time. He's having a bad time since Buffing? Yeah, yeah, if you read his Wikipedia, it's basically like starting acting, Buffy, 600 incidents of sexually harassing people and punching folks while drunk at a comic Oh no which so which one is he he was Xander the quip the quippy non-vampire friend you know not the librarian no that was a Giles played by

Anthony Head yes that's right he would never do anything wrong Anthony Stewart head hmmm okay I bet Mm-hmm. Okay. I bet that guy loves soup because he's a real stew head. I'm working on something on a Stewart head revisited, Bryce's head revisited sort of thing. Yeah, I'll report my findings. For the record, I do have Giles tattooed on my body. So if he is canceled, that will be extremely embarrassing for me. And I hope that he behaves well for the rest of his natural life. I don't think he's canceled because I just, um, I just watched the first season of the show, Ted Lasso. Which I'm going to be honest. It's it it it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's very that's very that's very that's very that's very that's very that's very that's very that's very that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. I is is that's. I is that's. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that watched the first season of the show Ted Lasu.

Lassow. Which I'm going to be honest, it's very normal to say, but I enjoyed it very much. It was just nice. It was just nice. It was, it was, it actually felt weird to be watching something where it was like a season of a show that was like, distinctly not cynical. And I was like, huh, feels weird to work with pretty nice. But Anthony Head is in that, in a role as like a kind of, you know, villainous Rupert Murdoch billionaire type of, type of role.

So I feel like if he was canceled canceled he wouldn't be in that show that's happening right now. Well let's hope he was a perfect man for his entire life. And famously actors face consequences for their perfect people for their behavior. Champagne has anybody watched the new Netflix movie Army of the Dead the Zach Snyder one? No is that a Zach Snyder movie? I thought they were just talking about fucking whatever? whatever the type? Well. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. Well. Well. Well, well. Well, well. Well, well, well, well, well, th, th th th th th th th let that's that's that's that that that that that tho tho that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th th th th th th th th th, well. Well. Well, well. Well, well. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, let let let let's th, let's th, th th th let's that's that's that's the the that's the the that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that Army of the Dead the Zach Snyder one? No, is that a Zack Snyder movie? I thought they were just talking about fucking whatever the one was that he already made with the bus Justice League? Dead of the Dead, land of Lord of the Dead.

Mr. Dead. Day of the Dead. the day of the dead. His first theatrical release was the remake of Dawn of the Dawn of Dawn of Dawn of Dawn of Daunter. Dauau. Dau. Dau. Dau. Dau. Dau. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the thea. thea. tha. tha. remake of Dawn of the Dead. Dawn of the Dead. Day of the Solder. That's what I said. That's quite a while ago, and so his new movie, outside of re-editing Justice League to make it four hours long and make more sense than the Joss Weeden one. Back to Joss Weeden again. This Army of the Dead zombie movie, which I enjoyed, but I only just

found out that, so Tignitaro was in it, right, as this helicopter pilot, and she's fun and everything, but I just found out that when the movie was originally filmed, it had comedian and accused sex pest, Chris Delia, in that role, and then everything came out after they had shot a bunch of stuff. Right, I read that. Yeah, and they shot Tignetaro. They shot a scene separately, yeah. They shot all of her stuff in green screen and completely sobbed her into his role after the fact.

Good, love it. Yeah. Shout out to Tignitaro, great comedian. And we loved her in Zach Snyder's film, Army of the Dead. Kevin Spacey also getting back out there. Just getting in the mix, you know? Just, yeah, just back out there. Whereas in character as the guy from that TV show, being being like, well if you don't like being a sex offender. He didn't actually

do that did he? He's done, he did another one of those a couple months ago. A couple months ago? The last one I remember is the one where it like had a photo of the Queen on his mug or something. He did another Christmas one, I'm pretty sure. What a fucking unit. Ugh. Yuck. Couldn't he have stayed as the beautiful actor that we all knew from the film, K-Pax? Was he really an alien? We have no way of knowing.

You know? You know? Haven't you. I never got around-Pet. You know? I haven't seen. I never got around to it. All right, so let's have a quick examination here. Folks, can we each nominate a creative artist of some kind who is supposedly cancelled but we still fuck with? Brand new, sorry. Oh no, okay, that's, yeah. Wait, why is brand new canceled? So the vocalist was like... Singo, Singo, sex-fest? Yeah.... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, so, th so, so, so, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th so, th so- I th so- I th so- I th. th so- I th. th. th- I th- I th- I-I-I-I-I-I-I. th-I. th-I. thi-I th-I th-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I-I thi. tho. thi. thuk with? Brand new, sorry. Oh no, okay, that's, yeah, okay. Wait, why is brand new

cancel? So the vocalist was like, single sex best? Yeah, like, hey, don't sex that team. Like with any like pop-punk adjacent band, it's very common. Yeah, absolutely. Weirder who hasn't happened. And then he had to kind of go, go crawlingto, because he's quite a Christian man and go through all that sort of deal. But anyway, it's a good album. It's a good album. It's a great album. You can't blame the whole band.

You can't blame the whole band. There's other people involved. And you know, while we're talking about, lost profits. Lost profits. Good bands. I've never listened to the th. Go th. Go th. Go th. Go th. Go th. Go th. It. It. It. It. It. It's th. Go th. Go th. Go th. Go th. Go th th th th th th th th through tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th go th go th go th go th go th go th go th go th go th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tho tho tho th's other people involved. And you know, while we're talking about lost profits, let's... Yeah, lost profits, good band. I've never listened to them. It's not the band's fault. I'm not going to do that. Pretty bad, though, pretty bad.

I've been watching the new season of Master of Nunn, which is a Zanzari show, but also has some other great writers, and people, th and it, th and it, the, th and it, th and it, th and it, the, th and, it, th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's not, I. It's not, I's not, I's not, I's not the the their. It's not their. It's not their. It's not their. It's not their. It's not the the the their, it's not, it's not, involved in it. It's a good show. I saw the trail of a new episodes and Aldo was like, oh yeah, we like some of that right now. I was like, yeah, but he's canceled. We don't like that any more, honey. I, Lucy, Lucy, did you watch his last comedy special? I did, yes. Where like, where it's all in black and white and he starts the show by having like a serious addressing of his accusations. At least he went for it. He wasn't like, oh, cancel culture's been gone too far these days. He was like, I fucked up and then I really had to think about everything that I've done in my life. Although the Azizan sorry one I feel like was something that a lot of people looked at and said this reads a lot like two adults having a bad time.

Yeah. Yeah. We've definitely talked about the seasons are a situation before. Probably. All right, so you're on season, season two of master. Is it season two? Season three. There's a new one just out.

Ben, who's your cancel person you're still fucking with? I don't know if I'd say that much, but I still think the movie Chinatown is a good movie, but that man is a petarast, so... You and me buddy. I was just about to say Roman Polansky, I'm not going to stop watching Roman Polansky movies. I mean, I've stopped watching all of them except every couple years. the toubts. A th of th of th of th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin' thin' thi thi thi thi thi thi thoom thoomoomoomoomorrow tho that that that that that that that that that man that man that man that man that man that man that man that man that man that man that that that that that man that man that man that man that that that man that man that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th thin thin' thin' thin' thi thooooooooooooooooooooo thoooooooooooo thoooooooooooooooo that that that that that that that ah, this a good movie. But man is a better ass, fuck that guy. Fuck him. You're not slapping on Rosemary's baby every now and then? I haven't watched it for a long time. This is a good movie as well. I mean, he's a competent film director.

What are you gonna say? The good thing is. The good thing is. I watched 15. Manhattan? No. Oh, um, Annie Hall. Anyhall. And it wasn't funny, and I was like, people are defending, people are defending a pitafile over this? It's gonna say, you don't have to worry about like watching Woody Allen's movies, because they're bad.

They aren't good. You don't even have to, there's no moral kind of conundrum they just. There's also 170 Woody's also 170 Woody Allen movies you know? Yeah What you're gonna do? Watch watch? Watch the wall? I did the same thing I watched half of Annie Hall and I was like this is this sucks. You ever heard that quote from Orson Wells talking about why I hates Woody Allen? Yeah it's nasty little pervert freak it's so good. It's so fun find that for us man. Like like if you watch like if you watch like you you you watch like you you watch like you you watch like you watch like you watch like you watch like you watch like you watch like you watch like you watch like you watch like you watch like the the the you watch like the the the the the the the the the the the th th you watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch watch. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they the they they they they they watch. they're watch. they're watch, you watch, you watch, you watch, you watch, you watch, you watch, you know, you watch, you watch, you watch, you watch, you watch, you know, you're the the they, they, they, they,'s so good. Hold on, find that for us, man. Like, like, if you watch like, you know, an Albert Brooks movie, like an Albert Brooks directed or, or, like, drive. Yeah, yeah, famous, Albert Brooks, drive or Finding Nemo. Yeah.

If you're watching an Albert Brooks movie like Taxi Driver. If you watch an Albert Brooks movie like defending your life or something, you know, that's, that's something where you are, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, you, you, you, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, like, you, like, like, like, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, an Albert Brooks movie like defending your life or something, you know, that's something where you are getting the essence of him as a person and a character and all that sort of stuff. And like Larry David, you know, except when I do see the Woody Allen one, I'm like, fuck this guy. Is there any movies about Woody Allen raising a child and then marrying her? Is there any movies in which he raises his partner's child from very young age, takes her to like ball games and stuff, there's photo evidence, etc. In the movie, if you will.

What if we got married? Yeah, what if we had sex now? Didn't that, did you have this quote for me? I certainly do. Uh, what if we had sex now? Didn't that make this quote for me? I certainly do. Orson Wells on, sorry about that, warning Alan. He is arrogant. Like all people of timid personalities, his arrogance is unlimited. Anybody who speaks quietly and shrills up in company is unbelievably arrogant. He acts shy, but he's not.

He's scared. He hates himself and he loves himself. A very tense situation. It's people like me who have to carry on and pretend to be modest. To me, it's the most embarrassing thing in the world. A man who presents himself at his worst to get laughs in order to free himself from his hang-ups. Everything he does on the screen is therapeutic. Oh, just fine God. Yeah, the problem with that is that that's there's a lot of collateral damage involved with me reading that. There's a specific kind of guy, there's a Woody Allen type of guy that's his arm inch, it's ah cheese, but he's extremely arrogant. How you can't fuck good.

See, so you compare that right to as like, as like it's just a cutting as a Theo, you've never made it about how you can't fuck good. See, so you compare that, right, to, as like, just a cutting assessment of somebody. Oh, really good into this. Did anybody see that, um, I think like, 1976, interview with James Kahn in Playboy? Oh, I saw some screenshots that came out on Twitter the other day, yeah. So like, just what you were saying then from that quote of like people like me who have to pretend to be modest? Where it's like, you know, there are sometimes when people drag like, you know, celebrities

or personalities or whatever, and I'm just like, you know what, if you're like really good looking and young and making millions of dollars and doing cool shit, why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you just act the fool and play the part, you know? James Khan says in this interview with Playboy in the 70s, lately I've been reading some bullshit articles about me and these trash fan magazines about what a macho-fugging I am about how I get loaded and go around smacking people, humping women in the gutter and all that shit. I can't believe the crap they

come up with. Playboy, you mean you're not a macho man? You mean you're not a macho pig? Can't. Anybody says I am? I'll kick the shit out of him. No, I mean I was brought up to defend myself if I've never started a fight in my life. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the the the the the the th. I'm tha. I'm tha. I'm tip. I'm the the the tip. I'm tip. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm today. I'm today. I'm today, today, today, today, tipe. today, today, today, the. I'm th myself if I have to, but I've never started a fight in my life. I can't remember the last time somebody started one with me. When I take a drink, which isn't often, mostly wine, I get happy and I laugh a lot. I've never fucked a woman in the gutter, not without putting a pillow under her first. Chivalry and completely to insult the interviewer. Oh, man. That then he just goes on to like completely insult the interviewer throughout the thing. Playboy interview says, you were talking about why you don't like to do interviews. James Khan says that shouldn't come to surprise with schmucks like you to work with.

No offense. As my friend Mel Brooks said in his playboy interview to another one of you, assoles. There I go again, sorry. You're really not as bad as as bad as bad as bad as bad as bad as bad as bad as bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad the stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to interview to another one of you assholes. Oh, there I go again, sorry. You're really not as bad as this guy who did an awful. I mean an unbelievably stupid interview with me a year ago. At the end, trying to be cut, he said, what's the dumbest question you've ever been asked an interview? I thought for a second and said, that's it. Playboy, you may not like interviews, but seem to be a pretty a pretty a pretty a pretty a pretty a pretty a pretty a pretty a pretty a pretty tha th doing this one so far. Khan. No thanks to you, shitface.

Oh, that is the dream. Yeah, just, it's like, you know, you're in your 20s or your 30s, you're making a fuckload of money. You got more cocaine than God. Yeah, why not? Why not just lean into it instead of, you know, doing the Woody Allen. But I'm shy.

I'm shy. I'm anxious. I'd never, I'd never swan about like that. Well, you'd be the one. It's too dangerous. He's like what, his thing for ages was just to bang out like a movie a year, right? That was Woody Allen's deal? Yeah. I'm just going to make one movie every year.

A movie where he played himself must have been really hard to write. It was better when they got Owen Wilson or somebody to play Woody Allen, but it's still a Woody Allen movie. Robin Plansky though. I'd flee to Europe with that guy. And how would he get there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there their their the the I'd flee to Europe with that guy and how would he get there? By plane! By Jeffrey Epstein Plain. Mm-hmm. Oh, and we love to talk about planes here on this podcast here in another edition of Plainly

Speaking. This is your captain speaking. Please return your seats to their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of plainly speaking. Ah, this is your captain speaking. Please return your seats to their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of Plainly Speaking. Lucy, you like planes, right? I do like planes. And I have been thinking about getting my recreational pilots license this year.

Fuck yeah. Very expensive. It's very expensive. I have to give up everything else in my life. Can I give up your wines though, will you? No, I won't. Can I make a confession, Lucy? Go on. I don't know if I have told you this, but um, maybe like the year before last, but it was pre-pandemic. So year before last I

Was in my what was currently my new job And there was the Christmas party right so they they had some things at work before we went off to the pub and one of the things work was they had like a a little bingo Ma and they did bingo and? They did that for a bunch of people and I won. they th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the tho tho tho tho thir thir thu the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the thu thu thu thu thu their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thu thu thu thu thu thu thu tho tho the the the the the the the the to the the the tho the their tho their tho tho tho their th one of the things will work was they had like a little bingo machine, right? And they did bingo. And they did that for a bunch of people and I won one of the prizes. And the prize that I won was free flying lesson. It was just just go out to this, uh, go out to this air to this air. And just like, that an hour. And I went, man, that's awesome. And I took my piece of paper that had my coupon thing on it and I put it in my bag and then I just went about my business for a year. And I just didn't go. You piece of shit. Yeah. I just, I just, I just, well that is for real one of those things that I look at and go totally fucked up by not just the th.......... And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. And, th. And, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. And I th I look at and go, totally fucked up by not just doing a thing. Just forgetting about it, not doing it, you know?

Yeah. Well, I'm going to do the thing and it's going to cost a lot of money. And I was telling my mom about it. My mom got her pilot's license in the 70s. And she told me that she couldn't be a pilot the pilot the pilot, the pilot, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, and, the, they, and, and, they, and it, and, and it, and it, they, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they.. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. up. And then she told me when I was telling her that I was going to get my pilots license about the fact that Anset, you remember Anset, the airline? We do remember Anse. Yeah, shout out to Anset. She was saying how they had a big court case about the fact that they wouldn't let women be pilots. And I was like, hmm, I don't know, 1980, that sounds pretty late. Maybe my mom's th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the fact, the the fact, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. that tea. tea. tea. today, te. that. that that that that that that that, th don't know, 1980, that sounds pretty late. Maybe my mom's exaggerating a little bit. And then I found out that she certainly wasn't. And then I found out how many women are pilots, which was very shocking to me. Have a little guess. Anyone want to have a guess how many pilots in 2021 of all stages of

pilotism are ladies. Okay. Pilotism. Good world. Like worldwide? Worldwide? Yeah, worldwide. Because there's not a lot of variation between countries. There's some, but not much.

My guess here is based on the 2002 to 2008 graphic novel series, why the last man. In issue number one, he talks about the statistics of the ramifications of if every man died of like how many people out of each trade would have died. And I don't know if these are real, but an issue number to that, the first page he says that 98% of commercial airline pilots in the US at that time were winning. Yeah, but that also expects you to have a gauge for roughly how many commercial airline pilots there are in the US, which personally I don't. I'm gonna guess, all right, here's my actual guess.

I'm gonna guess that in 2021 there are 500 female pilots, which to me I think is a low number. That's a super low number. You're talking globally commercial airline pilots or recreational airline pilots as well. This is also including just recreational pilots. Oh, fuck. I thought we were talking about a record. You know what, let's go all the way up to 800. I'm going 3,000.

What percent do you guys think that is of all pilots? Two percent, I'm going with Ben's figure. One percent. I'm sticking with two percent. You guys have gone crazy. I was shocked by these statistics, so it's five percent. Five percent of all pilots are women, and I think that's fucking crazy. I was try to thi that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tha thin thin thin thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thi thi thi thi thin' thin' thi thi thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I I'm going thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th Yeah. I was sure this was going to be. There are 12 lady pilots.

I figured it would be less because women weren't allowed to be pilots for a very long time. I was like, it's not going to be high. It is 5%. Like in the, out of every single flight I have ever caught in my entire life, one time has the captain come on the PA and it's been a lady. You make a point in my personal experience. Yeah, I've just gonna say this. I'm not seeing a lot of lady pilots. I'm gonna say this. We got to get those numbers up, people.

We do got to get those numbers up, and maybe it's to do with the fact that becoming a pilot is insanely expensive. Oh, okay. Okay, so let's let's do can we just backtrack just for a second because you said that you were going to get your commercial pilot's license? No, God no, I cannot afford that. So a recreational license in which you can fly a very small plane costs around $15,000 to become a commercial airline pilot costs around $80,000 and is not covered by the, um, like you can get hex on it but you can't get the subsidy that makes your university cheaper. That's why I was asking because I thought surely I maybe I've misheard because that's also announcing like a career direction you know if you're saying I'm gonna spend 80,000 dollars on becoming a commercial pilot I would love to do this for a job.

Simply not going to happen. I'll just learn to fly a tiny little Cessnot.. the th. the their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's $. I's $. I'm $. I'm $. I'm $. I'm $. I'm $. I'm the the the the their $. I'm their their their their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the. I'm the. So. So. So. So. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to happen. I'll just learn to fly a tiny little Cessnaut. I used to work with a guy. On the previous episode of the podcast, I made reference to in the early 2000s working at the Department of Veterans Affairs. And one of the guys I worked with had very bloodshot eyes. And he talked a lot about how he used to be a pilot. Yeah, and me and one of the other guys at work would like, you know, drink with this guy and smoke weed with him and stuff. And this, this was a guy who clearly drank, you know, and it was like Sully. Yeah, he was a Sully. He just didn't get his chance to shine. He didn't get his

chance to shine. Every Sully needs his geese. He was, yeah. He was dental Washington in the movie, Flight. That's what I was thinking of, one of them. Is, is Solly a drunk? Is that... I don't think Sully's the drunk. I don't know anything about that man's story, but... Lucy knows about Sully. That man had a future many beers and crashed into the Hudson, am I right? Lucy, have you seen the movie?

Lucy have the movie Sully? Yes, many times. Is that a Clintieswood movie? No, oh is it? Like a Clint Eastwood directed movie? It seems like the sort of thing he would direct. Oh maybe. It sounds like something he would direct. Uh, yeah it was directed by Clinties 2016. Wow, well it's pretty good. Tom Hanks. Okay, so is it worth watching? Yes, I enjoyed Sally. There you go cancelled, canceled people that you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is th. Is that. Is that. Is that. Is that. Is that was that. Is that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the cl. Is the the the clenies. Is the the the the clenies. Is. Is the the the the th. the th. thi. Is the the the the the the the good. Tom Hanks. Okay, so is it worth watching? Plays a great Sally? Yes, I enjoyed Sully. There you go, cancelled people that you... Yeah, that way go. I mean, he's not cancelled, he still has millions of dollars. Clintieswood, yeah.

He keeps doing stuff, he's just... What should be more canceled, to be honest. Yeah. Clineswood is just an extremely th. old, like mild Republican. Hey, try this on for size. Cunt Eastwood. Get him. You're like like you don't like Clintyswood movies now? Is that what kind?

They're all bad. Then the other one would be. Unforgivenism. I mean, that's all. He's late stage career when he tried to make uplifting movies that didn't have liberalism in them at all. It's great to be like ah I'm an old guy and I hate people of other races except specifically. Grand Tarino which is just about what if a nice old man shot for you? Yeah, what if a nice old man shot somebody for you? Yeah, or pretended to shoot someone for you. No, what if a nice old man got shot for you? Yes, yes that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. th. that's th. th. that's th. th. th. th. th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to thi thi to be to be to be to be like to be like to be like to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. to be th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the pretend to shoot someone for you. No, what if a nice old man got shot for you?

Yes, yes, that's what I would like. A nice old man jumping in front of a bullet for me and saying, ah, but it's not your time, you know? Don't touch my Grand Turino. Check out the movie Grand Tereno. Or even better, here's the keys to my Grand Tarrino. That's what I would like to hear. Yep. You know? Sure.

Mm-hmm. He does give it away at the end of the movie, doesn't he? I don't know. Spoiler alert for the very old film, Grand Tereno. Hey, Lucy, what's this about playing? Anyways, feminism. So Ann said, it turns out, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha, too. too. te. te. te. te. te. te.a. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to. to see a girl boss winning. Only 5% of podcast hosts are female. You guys just don't want to talk about women, but that's fine. I do.

For the record, I want to see a girl boss winning. Okay. Well, Deborah Laurie was the first woman to become a commercial airline pilot in 1980, which is really not that long ago. That's fucking insane. 1980 is really not that long ago. That's fucking insane. 1980 was four years ago. It was. 1980.

Yes, so this is not that long ago that you could ask your parents like, hey, hey, dad, why wouldn't you let women be pilots? Yeah, well you're going to find out why. The year my older brother was born, it was the first time in the world that there had been a commercial airline pilot. So after Pong was made, you could ask your parents, hey, is it possible for women to become pilots, and they would look at you and they would say, get the fuck out of here!

Shut up, they'd say. Well, would you like to learn why women couldn't be pilots? More than anything. It's, I hope it's not. So she had to win a landmark sex discrimination case, which as I understand, this is one of the first like sex discrimination cases to be one. So Deborah first supplied to Anset in 1976, kept sending applications for two years. During that time, ten fellow male flying instructors were accepted into the an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an the in in the in the in the in the in the in the end, I, I, I, I, I, I, Insns, Insetetethapeck, I, Inshuthuthorneck, I'm, I, I'm, I'm thiaqqqqqqqqqqqq. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I I, I, I, I, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm thia, I'm thia, I'm thia, I'm thea, I'm thea, I'ma, I'ma, tha, tha, thua, thuia, thiaqa, I'ma, I'ma, I'ma, I'm th two years. During that time, 10 fellow male flying instructors were accepted into the Anset pilot training program. She was finally interviewed in 1978 but was rejected. She then took the case of the Victorian Equal Opportunity

Board and challenged Anset's rejection under recently enacted equal opportunity legislation. She had her married name in the case and it was the case of Wardley v. Anset Transport Industries Propriet Limited and it was the first sex discrimination in employment case contested before the Equal Opportunity Board. So Anset are canceled. Reg Anset denied the allegation of discrimination but admitted that it was his strong personal view that women were not suited to be airline pilots. They just don't have the temperament. They're always having their periods.

Oh, what you, that's a funny joke. Oh no. That is a really funny joke. This whole thing led to a big boycott and a bunch of women like canceled their anseat travel and their travel accounts, Anset lost more than 50% of its business travel and a lot never returned, maybe hopefully this led to them declining. Obviously so you didn't you didn't use the specific phrasing about the boycott that's there in the... Yes this is from the ABC it says a successful girl cot. Yeah there it is. Now I thought it and I left it on the table. the the the the the the the tha tha the the tha the tha the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their tra their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tra. tra. tra. tra. tra. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. their. their. the. Now I thought it and I lifted on the table. Hmm, but I see someone else has already...

Yeah. ABC did say a successful girl cot. So, the general manager of Anset wrote, Anset has adopted a policy of only employing men as pilots. This does not mean that women cannot be good pilots, but we are concerned with the provision of the safest and most efficient air service possible. In this regard, we feel that an all-male pilot crew is safer than one which the sexes are mixed. Like, what if one of the pilots' boners accidentally hits the control yoke and then they slam into the Hudson?

I don't believe it is what happened with Sally. I just really like the wording of saying like, hey, look, we totally believe. I know you'd be a good pilot. We believe you. If we let you. Women could be totally great. We could let, women could fly planes. Possibly have like bevers, odd is in the future, so on and so forth. We're here in the herein now, 1977. We can't possibly...

We just don't want our planes getting like backed into another car in the grocery store parking lot. Yeah, Theo, I know you were saying that as a sort of an act out, like you were saying it in the character of an Anset executive in 1979 for comedy purposes. But to you, is it a logical hierarchy that the next type of intelligent animal from women is beavers and honours? Beavours and honors? Because I don't think beavers and honors are actually that closely related. I'm not going with the, okay, so first of all, clearly as far as waterbound mammals go, they're quite closely related.

They both semi-aquatic rodents. They would have to be. Secondly, I'm thinking more like... You're gonna put a water out in the cockpit of a ship, huh? I'm thinking dexterity and the ability for a sense of direction, very good internal compasses, and able to... Get a chip up there! Can't trust a chimp. Can't trust a chimp.

If anything, if this podcast is told us one thing, any strong position. Cannot trust a chimp. If the movie Madagascar 2 Back to Africa has taught us anything, it's that when putting animals in control of an aircraft, they will pilot directly back to their homeland, as is they're right. And Enset know this personally. They tried three chimp pilots before the first female pilot. Before they decided to try women. So in this case, Anset raised a number of objections to the employment

of women as pilots, including that pilots needed strength, even though there is no strength test for pilots, that unions would object, that women's menstrual cycles made them unsuitable. And finally, that pregnancy and childbirth would disrupt their career. So I tried, I did a lot of research. I couldn't find the text of this case. I could only find the, the anset took it to the high court to try to reverse the decision and I only found the judgment where they were basically like, this is ridiculous. I could not find any more detail as to why a menstrual cycle made women unsuitable to be pilots. I can only assume it's like they thought that you like, that you might get your period or is it emotions or like you might get your period while you're flying the plane and be like oh no.

You know how women with their periods are always unable to perform their duties in their jobs. That's right they would just start yelling at everyone am I right? Yeah like you know how you guys got girlfriends you got wives? I don't sorry that's yeah look anything that goes on with her that's her business. That's just women's business. That's, uh, yeah, I'm with you, Lucy. I would absolutely love to see like a lawyer arguing that case in court. Yeah.

I want to get like a, um, like a 90, late 70s doctor in there, like, smoking cigarettes on the stand stand explaining the like temperament of women. It's just Matt Berry you know. Four newports in his mouth just be like, we're crazy. So she won this case obviously but then Anset took it to the high court to appeal the decision because they were really mad about this. Yeah I really must insist that no women fly the plane. Take the L. Good God. And they kept employing her, but then during classroom training, Anset attempted to sack her

by claiming she had been at fault in a near-miss incident at Marabin Airport, despite an inquiry exonerating her and identifying the other pilot as being at fault. Oh my god. Some dude looking at his phone, you know? That's awesome that they were just like. The lady's problem. No, it was our employees fault. Yeah, yeah. Right, yeah.

That's so many workplaces love to do. Yeah. So what was this lady's name again? Shout a, Laurie. Yeah, big fan. She's apparently still a pilot and she is now a captain. See, that's so crazy. This should be one of those stories where it's like,

and she died peacefully in 1998 at the age of 95. Not like, oh, and she's still gone! Yeah, I had never heard this lady, and good for her. Yeah, imagine being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say th. th. th. thi thi thi, this this this this this thi, this this this this this this this this this this this th. this th. this this th. this this th. this th. this th. this this this th. th. this this this th. th. this this th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. th imagine being able to say, no, no, I was the first one. Yep. And also I had to go to court and then I had to go to the Supreme Court. Because they were like, no, for real, you can't fly the plane. First in Australia? Well, first globally. I think this is the first globally. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure this was the first commercial pilot globally as a

woman. I guess 1980 was like prime, you know, kind of married with children years. That's true. And I don't think Al would let Peg fly the plane. And that is the metric that you use for most things. So we do have to shout out to someone, unfortunately, in this last paragraph. So when classroom training was completed in December 1979, she was not assigned to a training aircraft despite the male trainees progressing to flight training. Inset Airlines had been taken over by Peter Abiless and Rupert Murdoch in late 1979.

So Wardley, as she was named then, because she was married at the time, had previously trained Murdoch's brother-in-law. She telephoned him in early January 1980 informing him of the situation. Two days later, Rupert theirr feminist ally. What a sweheed legend. I'd always thought that leathery outer skin was hiding the soul of a true ally. He loves women, he supports a girl boss. Rupert Murdoch? Uncancelled.

You know what he's been uncancelled? You keep those unpaid taxes, you old fuck. Sorry, I just, I really want to know what, um, I really want to know what Rupert Murdoch looked like in the 1980s. I'd love to know, please Google. Because he's like, because he's very leathery to us as like just a fucking- he's quite leathery, yeah. Extremely old, you know.

But there was a time when he was pre-I the thap pre pre pre pre pre pre. pre-leather. No, I'm just going to say it, he still looked like shit. Oh, that's good. So like, you know, shout out to a Rippermodock feminist ally, but you do look like shit in the 1980s, you know? A little picture in the chat there for you. And the High Court dismissed Ansetset's appeal in March 1980. Probably because it was very stupid. Yeah,, it's just 90% of the testimony was about periods and prejudice. Oh, well, ladies got their periods. What do you want me to do about it? They can't be in the cockpit? They're just very mysterious, Your Honor. Anyway, I'm glad Anset collapsed.

Yeah, fuck Anset. Yeah, fuck Anset Yeah, fuck Antet. Official position of the show. Uh, a company that no longer exists for anybody who is not Australian and also not over the age of 30? That's right. They've been cancelled by the free market. They were the wheat bricks of the, uh, of the airline industry.

Please write it. Just of course being the Viterprits. Yeah. Please write. No, Weepix is the one that's still around that everybody eats. That's Qantas. Yeah, wow. Viterbrits are still around.

I- Who's eating Viterbrits? Who is eating Viterbrits? I haven't seen them in a supermarket in years and years. Please- You haven't looked. No one's been looking for Vitabrits because they suck ass. I think five of the reason, please. I don't know they still existed. I was going to check if this thing though I fucking hate it's still other shells.

Oh, there it is. Still not going to make sure that it's not better than a bit of Viterit. You take a Viterate, you put the knife right through the middle, you slice it all the way in half. You butter both halves, put, uh, put syrup in between, and then you chuck them back, and then you chuck them back, back and eat like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and the the th, like, like, like, like, and th, like, like, and eat th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and eat it, and eat it, like, like, and th, and th, and the their, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.. th. th. thi, thi. tak, tak, take, take, take, take, take, take, take a tak, take, take a tak, take, take a tak, take a ta, th have ever said. Why are you doing that with a tidal grid? What the fuck? I am splitting a Vita Brit longways and putting, sorry, golden syrup on it?

And butter. And butter. And eating it like a sandwich. So you sound insane. You said crazy right now. Regular snacks as a kid, hey? We were a snack-free household as well. I you know, I did some weird shit out of desperation. Ben lived on a snack-free boat.

Okay. Yeah, well, yeah, I certainly did. Unless you count those awful two-minute noodles that store indefinitely as a snack. Because I ate ten of those a day. God, even to this day when I think that I'm going to eat some Migurang. If I if I eat some I'm just like no, I'm still really sick at you. Do you see that the woman who came up with the Indomey, I believe this name of the company like I-N-D-O-M-I-E who came up with that M goring recipe, she passed away like a month or so ago. All right, Pee to a legend, you know?

Oh man, that's a quality snack. Pouring some out down the front of my shirt again. Now of course if you wanted to get some of that from Southeast Asia to Australia, you would have to do it via commercial shipping. Wow Ben. It's funny you say that because I have a song right here to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to the to go their to go to go to go their to go to go to go to go to go their their their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. the. I the. I to to the. I to to to to the. to the. the. the. I their their their their their their the's funny you say that, because I have a song right here to go with our segment, The Shipping Report. I'm itching for another edition of the Shipping Report. Wow, that was so prompt, you're really prepared. Wow, yeah, I had clicked on it earlier, one click. The Shipping Report is, of course, the segment where we in zero jokes, we read out some

highlights from the major maritime incidents globally of the preceding week. And here we go. Well, there's a tagline that we have to go with this which is most fatalities removed. Yes, all fatalities removed this time, which took my list from 8 down to 4. Here we go. Both communications and the automatic identification system on the container ship A. Dyson went dark for 30 hours as it was traveling through the Malacca Strait. So everyone was like, hey, what the fuck, where did the ship go and then 30 hours, they pop back up. I'm like, oh, hey, here we are. Hey, yeah, we're just going through the Malacca Strait.

You know, the reception's terrible through there. Yep. Are we, are we saying, are we endorsing the position on this podcast away from the Malacca Strait, I urge you. You will vanish into the ether for 30 minutes and you will come back knowing secrets that were formerly unknown, things that cannot be unlearned, sites that cannot be unseen. Avoid that if you can. Five crew members were kidnapped from the fishing vessel Atlantic Princess in the Gulf of Guinea. Anything further on that?

Okay. Haven't seen any updates on that. Haven't seen any updates, sorry. The brand new container ship, Express Pearl, caught on fire off the coast of Sri Lanka resulting in a likely total loss of the vessel. Oh. Yeah, that is gone. Back to waiting for pearls.

Ben, can you just give me a second? This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. I thought it was going to be a sad trombone noise that you've also got on the soundboard there. I didn't want to take my brand new container ship out and set it on fire. Did I just lose everyone for a second there? and set it on fire. Did I just lose everyone for a second there? Uh, you lost me. Yes, me too.

Oh, okay. All right. And finally, the container ship, Gerdameau, I think I said that correctly, traveling from Malaysia to Yanchan China was turned back after two crew members tested positive for COVID-19. Oh, you're being a real Melbourne right now, Gerdemesk. And that was of course the shipping report. It's what we came here to bring to you. No jokes. No jokes. I think I was pretty good about knowing jokes throughout that. I feel like you had a little riff there about the Strait of Malacca might have constituted a joke. You know what one of my favorite things about the shipping report is?

What? Is the names of the ships? Ben, you're trying to come down here and smack the broom out of my hand? I'm trying to, I've walked out into the dick-sucking factory, I've walked in and I've slapped the dick right out of your mouth. Not out of disrespect, but because, uh, Andrew, you don't have to suck that dick alone. Oh, we're all here, maybe. To make it clear when listeners... Sorry? Hmm? Were we deliberately not making any Malaka jokes? Yes, I think so. I don't know enough cultural context to

know whether or not that's appropriate. Well let me read out the Quora definition of Malacca for you. Wow. Please. Okay. Greek term for someone who has jerked off so many times that his brain has become soft and he is now an idiot. Yes! Hey maybe it's not a Bermuda Triangle situation in the Malacca Strait it might just be that they've all jerked off too many times. Just forgot where they were. You know how you get that... And we can make these jokes because we're all... That's one joke. We are all putting brain as a result of masturbation, yes. You know how you get into the zone and it's only like as you're coming out the other side that you see, you see what you were looking out on the computer and you quickly go, uh,

close to tap. So you say they popped out at the other end with a sort of post nut clarity. Yes. Oh no, I'm so embarrassed. We're further down the Malaca Strait. You go into the Malacca Strait and you are overcome with the need to start jacking off. It's so weird. Like my vision kind of went, went tunnel. All the sounds went down low.

I think maybe they were confused because for the first time they had attempted to get off to Malacca Gay. Hmm. Let's try it. Fuck you guys. Rosts through that one. This is the worst podcast. What are you saying about names, Ben? This is a segment. The ships have great names.

And I really enjoy that about them. And this is a segment all about great names. The ships have great names and I really enjoy that about them. And this is a segment all about great names. It's the great American whole of name. It's the great American whole name. This is of course the segment where we celebrate the great American tradition of having extremely fucked up, easy to identify as American names. And this time, with a secret list I have kept hidden from my co-hosts. Oh, I thought it was very short with a number of items, with a number of items on the list

list of zero. That's because this list is proprietary and top secret. Now these are taken from the team roster of the college football team, the Texas A&M Aggies from 1950 through to 1980. I want to hit pause for just a second and ask do we know what Aggies? Agricultural. Agriculture, yeah okay. Yeah. Okay. Makes sense. Farmers. Farmers. Texas farmers. Yeah. It's a slur on farmers. A&M used to stand for agricultural and mechanical and then at some point in the 1970s they voted to make A&M stand for nothing. Well, they changed it. So it's just Texas A&M now. Very post-modern approach.

All right. Here is a list of names. Lay it on me. Connie McGurk. Beautiful, following the old dirty bastard style. Already good. Joe Boring. What, sorry, boring or boarig? Boring? Boring. Boring.

Bobby Drake Keith. That's prime country singer territory. It's very good. Elwood Kettler. Nob Ollendorf. Look, I know Ollendorf is kind of a weird name, but uh, we're gonna smooth that whole thing out by giving them the first name.

Norb. I assume it was short for Norbert, but I wouldn't shorten Norbert for myself. I think this is the perfect time to quickly note that, so last time we went through the bowling hall of fame. That was the first time, was the bowling hall of fame. The second time we did select names from the two different baseball conferences that existed. Oh, I missed that.

And I remember after the first one, someone, an American person on Twitter was like, these are extremely normal American names. Like dead seriously. I was like, you don are extremely normal American names. Like dead seriously. I was like, you don't, you don't understand. Oh, you guys don't have guys named Chet Burgerson. Oh, keep that in mind what I get towards the end of this list, please. Okay. Bobby Joe Conrad.

Nice. Herb Wolf. That's that's tight. Oh, that's a type. That's a th. That is th. That is th. That is th. That is th. That is th. That is th. That is th. That is th. th. That is th. th. That is th. That is th. th. That is th. That is th. that's a that's that's that's that's thight. thight. that's a that's. that's. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. that. that. that. that. that. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. thi. thi. the. b Wolf. Oh, that's tight. That's a type name. Richard Gay, knowing she's friends. Sorry, Dick Gay? Dick Gay. I feel like a child for how loud I laughed at that just now.

Dick Gay? Is that? It's good to laugh. Buddy Paine. Sorry, hear me with that one again. Buddy Payne. Sorry, hear me with that one again. Buddy Payne. Babe Craig. Babe Craig. Babe Craig. Babe Craig. Budge forward. Come on. Phil Scoggin. Oh, Scoggin seems like a shockingly common name. Oh, it's such a wonderful old typey down. Baba Collins.

Okay. Nice. Rocky Self. Ooh. I'm with you there, buddy. Corky Sheffield. Buster Calloway. Leonard Millsap. Boyce best, Max Bird.

That's the most bird you can be. Mike Bunger. And this is just a great pair of names one after the other, these next two. Bubba Bean and Ronnie Hubby. Bubba Bean, that is beautiful. Hello, I'm Bubbine. And I'm Ronnie Hubby. Carl Roaches.

Billy Lemons. Hold on. Is that Carl with a Cay or a C? It's a, or a C? So they see. Okay. Ted Lamp. That's such an anchor man joke. Bucky Sands. Americans probably listening like, why are they laughing? What's funny?

What's funny? I don't get it. Why are you laughing at the guy called Ted Lamp? George Berger. Perfect prediction, Lizzie. Tank Marshall. That's good. That's good. Oh, that's a title.

David Brothers. I believe that's two people. We're united in America. You get called Tank. Randall Teat. Okay, so this is the thing that gets me. So first names being funny, people get to call themselves weird things with the first name, right? Like tank, great first name. Ridiculous thing to call your childchild, but teet is a last name. He's the latest in the long lineage of... Long-minded teats. I know centuries of teats. I know I know I always think of hot fuzz where they have like all the characters in the village have the name. Like how did this guy end up with teet as a last name? Yeah brewer or baker or the tea? Yeah, baker or their. I their. I their. I their. their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. their. their. their. their. their. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's the the the the the the the the the the the the t. He's the the t. He's the the latest. He's the latest. He's the latest. He's the latest. He's the latest. He's the latest. He's the latest. He's the t.uzz where they have like all the characters in the village have the name.

Like how did this guy end up with Teat as the last name? Yeah, Brewer or Baker or the Titty guy. Generations of people who are sucking on a titty. Frankie Lemons. I believe he might be related to Billy Lemons, it's hard to say. That's very mafia style name. Preston Dixon. Floyd Randall. Now this is not spelled Randall as this is R-A-N-D-L-E which I really enjoy. Oh I like handle.

Ernest Jackson. Now this is Ernest spelled like the word Ernest not like the name. So it might just be a description of his character and the final nameest, not like the name. So it might just be a description of his character. And the final name on this list is Billy Cannon. Oh, I hope he was a pitcher. So strong. I do have one bonus name for you. And this is the name of the Aggies Coach from 1917 to 1927. That name is of course Dana X Bible. The X is of

of course as we all would have guessed short for Xenophon. I feel like if a, I feel like if a zoomer musician soundcloud artist named themselves Dana X Bible, it would be a bit on the nose. Wouldn't? Wow. It does sound very sound cloud, huh? It does. It does.

So I just realize you guys can see me getting groomed by Nome. Yeah, this is a real image here. Noam you are canceled. Wow. Is this, is this normal? Yeah, she believes that I'm like her father, but like literally her father, so she will just... She's just looking Theo's head just to a paint and picture? Sometimes it's easier to just put up with it. Just go with it.

My cat does not do that. Um, I think, I think Cuscus has like some old lady arthritis, maybe. She seems to have some sore joints, you know, she's not jumping up on things as high as she used to. She's very, like it's a whole thing when she's going to jump up on the bed. She's like, all right, I'm going to get my front pause up first. Hang out here for a little bit. I can't make a front pause up first. Hang out here for a little bit. Maybe do a few stretches, you know,

and then she'll drag herself up there. But yeah, she's not grooming me, you know? Sorry, and Nome is still going at this point. Oh, absolutely. And if I move, she kind of follows my head around. She's a, a big, very fluffy cat. She's very fluffy. Yes animals.

We love animals. She's back at it. She's grooming him again. She's. Turned the side of Theo's head. Turned herself around to get closer. I don't think the stuff in your hair. What's all this stuff in your hair?

We've thin helping you at this point, Theo. I've never had a cat do this to me. Hmm. She is certainly, she's nothing if not, cleaning all of Theo's hairs. Lo, he does something similar to this, but instead of licking the side of my head, he's licking his own penis. And they're coming up to give you a kiss. Well like the end of a... fuck that movie. If you know the end of which movie I'm describing.

Oh boy. Speaking of the end of things. Speaking of your own penis. Mm-hmm. I, I can't. But if I could, probably be doing it, you know. Hey, with a penis like that, I don't blame you. Hmm. Shout out to the friend of the show, Ben Bods, Louis.

I'm not thin about to shout out your own penis. Shout out to the front of the show, My penis. Are you tired of to to to to the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin' to thin' to to to to to to bea, to to to to to to tho, tho, tho, tho, to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the thin, thin, thea. thea. thea' thea' thea' thea' the the the the of paying nothing for the same old superior quality free episodes of the Buntavista podcast? Do you want less politics and more content about diarrhea or animals gone wild? You're tired of skipping through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg Film Shooter? Boy, do I have the offer of a lifetime for you? That's right, for just five US dollars

a month, you too can be a premium VIP member of the Buntavista Patreon. That's right, just five US dollars for all of our bonus episodes. That's over 300 hours of content from the hosts you know and definitely tolerate. I'll even throw in access to our glamorous and exclusive discord server, where bizarre arguments only happen once or twice a week at most. Head to Patreon.com slash Buntavista. Sign up in the next five minutes and I won't know because that's not my job. But you'll be enjoying the sweet satisfaction of supporting us, and we will love you romantically for it.

That's my promise to you. Yep. Dogs. Animals. What is also an animal? A cow. But sometimes, cow do something spooky. It's a little unsettling.

It's some kind of spooky. Farman. from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon and you shall know that God is God and bow down to his will. I swear to God man you will see and know all those things. On this segment, Omen's importanceance. Ben, what did you see that upset you, like you were some kind of old wicken tossing a handful of bones on a plate and then becoming freaked out by what you saw before you? Well this is a story that was submitted to us by I believe friend of the show Theo who is on this podcast? Hey, that's a gun. Thanks Theo. Thanks, thanks. This is a story. This is a story, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what thi, what thi, what tho, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th. What th. What th. What th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th, what th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What believe friend of the show Theo who is on this podcast. Hey, how's it going?

Thanks Theo. This is from the, I believe, newspaper, Wales Online. And now stop what you're thinking. This isn't a website for creatures in the order cetacea. It's actually for the country of Wales. This headline is, Calf with three eyes is unlike any animal vet has ever seen. For starters, one extra eye. That's the biggest difference between it and the...

It just sounds like a calf. But with a bonus eye. A farm vet has shared photos of one of her strangest ever discoveries. A calf with three eyes. Malin Hughes said she was testing cattle for tuberculosis at a farm in North Wales when she spotted, when she spotted the bizarre-looking animal. The calf is around four months old and in good health, but it is unclear if it can see out of its extra eye the daily post reports. So, am I to understand from this that for four months no one noticed that there was a calf with three eyes? Yeah.

I don't trust it. We actually need to issue a retraction on the show at this point. Yeah because this story came to us by way of Andrew who is on this podcast. Huh, that's odd that Theo the the thee to see? thi the that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the to to to theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee theee theeee the the the the the to to to to th because this story came to us by way of Andrew who is on this podcast. That's odd that Theo didn't try and correct me about that. There's his mom in the sun. He's far too busy being cleaned by this cat. Your waxy wings are melting, Theo. You're hurtling back to earth. She is, going to town on you the it's like you know when you're at the at the hairdresser and you get in the you get in the head massage with the with the shampoo and sometimes oh man yeah if you're not getting a shampoo and a scalp your hair dress

you're going now you go on one of those your hairdresser, what the fuck are you going? Now you're going to one of those cool hairdressers where they swear. Hey, bro, hey dude, yeah, tight. And for the record, I went to today to my new hairdresser of choice. And which ethnicity did you choose this time? Well, uh... I went with who I was given, thank you very much, to be barbershop. I would like to just clarify that I'm not saying that every time you go to a hairdresser you wait until they bring out somewhat of a race that you like.

I meant that you've been specifically, when you're going to, it was kind of like a Lebanese hairdresser type deal last time. I was saying that generally I would go to a place that was either either like clearly like clearly like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they, they, they, they, to thi, to thi, thi, to they, they, they, they, they, they, to to to to to to to to a place that was either like clearly sort of Arab or like Islander run. Because you want your fade to be perfect. Yeah, they're all over the clippers, you know. But yes, I've been going to a place in the shopping center opposite my office building that charges $30 for a hair cut. So they are are not they're not shampooing my hair and massaging me disappointing but they are getting me in and out of there in like 15 minutes

that's pretty good all I want I just want to get shaved up you know that's all all of us want that's all a man wants she said vets tend to see all sorts of things. Cyclops lambs, an animal's born with two heads. I've never seen anything like this before. If I saw a cyclops lamb... Really, really downplaying. Really, really downplaying.

Which was like, oh, you know, that normal thing where a lamb with one eye is born and speaks to you with a human tongue. Look, every day, but a third eye. Well, I mean, really, really, all we're really talking about at the end of the day is an animal that has one more or one less than the normal amount of eyes. Yeah, but apparently one more is crazy. I feel like one less is easier than one more. Yeah, you just fuck up one of the eyes. Yeah, less satanic. Yeah, you don't make as much stuff. That's easier.

Yeah, anyone could tell you that. If you want a third eye, you have to listen to tools album, Ainuma. That's how we're pronouncing that. Ainama. That's interesting. that's that A and that E. I am actually saying it like that from now on. Legitimately. AINDA-ma! Do you have much call in your life to... Well he's talking about that album every day. Yeah, shockingly enough neither my wife nor my two daughters are starting a lot of conversations about the tool album.

But you sure are ending a lot of conversations with that. Yeah again. Again. From the outside of the extra eye It's to to to to to to to to to to to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their that their that that that that that that that's cool cool cool cool cool that's that's cool that's of conversations with that. Yeah, again. From the outside, the extra eye looks fine. It has eyelids and eyelashes, and it's moist too, as if some kind of lubricant is being secreted. No, please don't. There is so much to disagree with in that sentence. Yep. I'd say the start, the middle and the end.

Wow, we're three for three. All bad. All bad. From the outside the extra eye looks fine I think tickles me. Lucy, this sentence that starts with from the outside, what's your least favorite part of this sentence? From the outside, the extra eye looks fine. Yeah. Yeah. They just mean looking at the eye. They mean from not within the eye. It sounds like a normal eye. It's moist. I've been poking it for all day long. But the way she says as if some kind of lubricant is being secreted is as if she's, it sounds

like she's not just talking about how like the normal sort of moisture that you have in your eye. Maybe. I ths. It's like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like that's th s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s out th is th is thoooen thoes. th is that's that's that's that's got like glance yeah touch your pussy that's that's doing some of the same kind of stuff oh Jesus Christ that I's getting wet to the touch what the fuck is wrong people Andrews been sipping on his done bitch juice that's so true that's so true Iue. I feel like having the video on us really... Yeah, it really is everyone's substance intake. So I think this next quote from this woman is probably the most crucial here.

Mm-hmm. But it's impossible to know if anything is going on behind the eye. Yeah, what are the secret thoughts that lies within the head of this satanic creature? It's impossible to know th anything th anything th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi that's theateateou that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that lies within the head of this satanic creature. It's impossible to know if anything's going on behind anyone's eyes. Oh my fucking God. Yeah, you feel like you know anyone else's... Oh shit. Yeah. How do you know anyone else is sentient you know? What if like the color I think is green? You think is like red? Yeah? Dude? That's so that is so true. Telling the newspaper that I can't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the news th. the news. th. the news. th. the news. th. the news. thi thi thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the thi. thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeateateateateateoooooooooooooooooooooe. the. the. thi. thi. thue. Telling the newspaper that I can't tell if my cow's third eye is perceiving any additional dimensions. Why do I feel like Three Eyes is too much.

Mario thinks he's in the real world. The third eye is likely to be a developmental anomaly and is extremely rare. Seven years ago, a calf with three eyes was born in India and was worshipped as a god. The villages in Tamil Nadu flocked to visit the animal who was named after Lord Shiva, the Hindu god who is depicted with a third eye representing wisdom and insight. The North Wales calf, a dairy cross British blue animal, is unlikely to receive the same kind of attention. It should leave it a, quote, normal life, Malin said. However, it is an animal destined for the food the food the food the food the food the food the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to receive the same kind of attention. It should leave it a quote, normal life, Mailin said. However, it is an animal destined for the food chain.

You can't eat the three-eyed cow? Someone's eaten that fucking three-eyed cow. Like, 20 people are getting, someone's getting steak, someone's getting a leg roast, you know, someone's getting skirt, none of them know it is a satanic three-eyed cow. Just getting like a little bit of the three-eyed, fucking sacred cow in my hamburger at the next four-day. Yeah, standing in the mincile going, I do I want the 3% satanic meat or should I splurge

for the 5%? You just get like a shitty hamburger from like an English fish and chip shop and then you walk outside and start talking aramic. It's like fucking something's going on. Something's going on. It's very depressing to see a cow referred to as having a normal life when it goes to the slaughterhouse and gets eaten. Yeah, what's it to say destined for the food chain? Like an animal in the wild is destined for the food chain. It's not like we're going to transport it to the savannah. Is it, yeah, are they putting it in a line enclosure?

Unless by food chain they mean a specific fast food restaurant. They are destined for Burger King. Oh dear. Whereas they call it in England, the Duke of Burgers. Do they, they really call them? No, I don't think they have Burger King over there. No, I don't think that they do. As we call it, hungry jacks. Hungry jacks. Hungry Jacks. Get Hungry Jacks. Hagg's. Hagg's. We're a fupper. Or a Yumbo?

Getting that Yombo. Shout up to... Hot Ham? Shout up to Friend of the Show Marbon. Enemy of the Show Marbon. Gone Yombo crazy. He has gone yumbo crazy. And if you follow him at a Bona Man Inc on Twitter you'll get to see him

turn a yumbo sideways and play with the five pieces of ham the folds of a woman's generals. Well not necessarily women's genus. So check that out. Check it out! Check it out if you're into that kind of thing and if you are... and it is time to end the podcast. Sure seems like it. Oh, don't check out enemy of the show, Marvin, on Twitter. Don't do it. Help yourselves, you know? Thanks to stopping by. Thanks for listening to, I guess, American names. Satanic cow. And some feminism. So you've really come out on top. Over all. I guess. I've come out on things. Well, I've come out on things. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh things. Oh. Oh, I things. Oh, I things. Oh, I things. Oh, I things. Oh, I things. Oh, I things things. Oh, I things things. Oh, I things things. Oh, I th things. Oh, oh th th th th th th th th th th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, the thi. Oh, Satanic Cow. And some feminism, so you've really come out on top. Feminism.

Overall, you've come out on top. You've learned something today. And we barely talked over you for any of the segments. Yeah, only a little bit. Bye bye. I'm answering for another edition of the shipping report.