Boonta Vista - EPISODE 210: White Women Hill

Episode Date: July 29, 2021

Theo, Andrew, and Ben go deep on: Amsterdam canal deaths, pissing yourself unconscious, Dutch cryptids, and one very special French horse. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Put a Vista episode 210. My name is Ben and I am here inside an Australian journalist Brain. With me is Andrew, who is the compulsion that makes them post every day about potato sculps versus potato cakes. Hey Andrew, you seem persistent. Yeah, like, um, year after year everybody tells me tellipel tell-to-ykelut. that makes them post every day about potato sculps versus potato cakes. Hey Andrew, you seem persistent. Yeah, like, um, year after year everybody tells me, shut up, and I don't care and fuck off. But every, you know, 12 months goes by and I cannot control myself.

I cannot be controlled. I think to myself, do we really settle that one? Huh? And then, you know, you're sort of jostling for position with the, uh, Corriander is yuck versus coriander is young people. Hmm. Um, by people, I mean the other, the part of the brain. So this is kind of muddled to the concept that I'm going with here. I don't know if you're like a region of the region region of region of region of region of region of region of region of region of region of region of region of region of region of the the the the the the the the the the brain the brain the brain, like a discrete collection of neurons or whatever is inside a brain? Yeah, I'm more like a pulsing flash of electrical activity.

Oh, you're very ephemeral. Or a stroke. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, a stroke I have every day. Get me 20 millimeters over that way and I'm doing some damage. But as it is, you're only damaging us. Different form of damage. Just, hey, just open Twitter., journalists that I'm piloting, like a mech or the rat from Ratatoui. Well, the small man for a met in black, little alien guy. Or the crew of people in the movie, Meet Dave. Hmm. Were they people? Yeah. They were really small people from another planet.

They were piloting a guy called Dave played by Eddie Murphy. Or if they're from another... If they're from another... Or Dennis Quaid, inside Martin Short and the movie Inner Space. I don't think they're piloting... I'm pretty sure he exercises some kind of control over his body at some point, doesn't he? The worms inside Fry that make him really good at playing the hollow saxophone or whatever the fuck it is. A holophon. You've actually confused two things. That's an episode of Futurama where the worms inside him just make him smart and physically fit generally.

He becomes good at playing the holophone because he gets the robot devil's hands. No, that's not true. No, I agree with Theo here. No, I, I, Ben. At the risk of starting another deluge of emails that just say, and to mail bag at Buntavista.com. If Ben is wrong, mail in Ben wrong, to mail back it for the musical about him arguing with a robot devil about not giving his hands back. It's a beautiful opera that he's composed.

Fuck for Leela. Oh man, it's fucking, oh, I love that episode so much. Watch the Holophone and musical episode of Futra Amur, it's from season four. It's called The Devil's Hands are Idle Play Things. Um, home is the devil. That's true. Dan Casablanca, I believe his name is. Also with us as a fleeting flash of electrical activity inside the brain is Theo,

who is the perverse smugness that Australian journalists feel and endlessly posting about they hate when people say fewer when they mean less, or how they notice when apostrophes are used incorrectly. Hey, Theo, why the fuck do you exist? I mean, look, I think my job mainly is to hold the public to account. If I see them like out there going like, you know, hey, hey, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, thi, thi, thi, um, um, thi, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, thi, thi, uh, thus, uh, uh, thus, uh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thia, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, them out there going like, you know, hey, maybe we need, you know, less war crimes committed by our Australian soldiers or less, you know, refugees in illegal offshore prisons, less opening a single island prison for a single family at a cost of a 160 million dollars which you know I've got better things to do posting about potato scoots all the time but when I see this it really makes me mad

the injustices in the world and I have to reply I have to say I think you mean fewer yeah and thank you for the work you do. You know what I was taught at journalism school? If someone tells you that it's raining outside and someone tells you that it's not, it's not your job to say that, it's your job to go outside and scold someone for a minor grammatical error. Yeah, that's right. If the government comes thing that that that that the the the the the the the the government the the the government the government the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe toe toe toe, that's right. If the government comes to you and says that it's raining outside, your job is to put that in the paper, because people deserve to know that it's raining out there. Yeah. If one person tells me it's raining and another person tells me that it's not,

what's important is that both of those views are heard? Because what makes one any less valid than the other? That's exactly right. And that's that's that's that's that's that's that's exactly that's that's exactly that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's th. th. the th. th. that's the the that's the that's that's the the that's their that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the far left and the far right in this country, I think. Which are basically the same. Basically the same thing. They are as indistinguishable from each other as a potato cake and a scallop, depending on which state you're in, which state are you in and what did you call them growing up? Sorry, sorry, that's pretty much my thing. Yeah. That's mainly what I'm bringing conversations back to. Don't really have a lot of control over it.

Primary course of being and everything. So you yourself the compulsion are compelled. I am a compulsion. You're like a meta-compulsion. That's fascinating. It is my very nature. Listen to us, a bunch of smart people on a smart person podcast with philosophical stuff going on.

So you're just here like in human form? I don't know where I sit in this one. Every time I write an intro I like to imagine myself as, you know the... Strolling around? The movie Into the Void, where that guy dies when he's on a lot of drugs and then the rest of the movie, the movie is him hovering over Tokyo viewing different things including his own birth at the end of the movie. Never seen it. I haven't seen it.

Oh fuck, it's a wonderful film. Jesus Christ, you gotta watch into the void. Although the first 10 minutes you're seeing through someone's eyes including blinking and it is very infuriating. Whenever anyone ask me that the th a th a that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that is the the the that that that is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thus. I is. I is. I is. I can't theat. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't is. I can't is. I can't is. I is seen Into the Void, I have to tell them Gasper no. The bedstrike, there it is. There he is. It's very hard. It's awful. I remember seeing uh, Gasper no's irreversible in the cinema. I don't think that's how you pronounce his name. What it's how we're doing in now. I don't think that's how you pronounce his name. That's how we're doing it now. I'm Gaspard no. Okay. Or Gasper can't. I do remember seeing the, seeing that movie in the cinema

irreversible and the first scene in it, which is really the last scene when you think about it. The first scene in it is like the camera like whirling around in the dark and occasionally illuminating something and then settling on a guy bashing another dude's head in with a fire extinguisher until it's just like a mangled quivering pulp of teeth and bone and gore and stuff. That cleared out the people who were not there for that kind of movie very quickly. That's probably the movie where I've seen the most people just stand up and exit the theater in under 10 minutes.

Probably a good choice on their behalf though. Yeah. Hmm. Probably a good choice on their on their behalf though. Yeah. I also haven't seen that. Being seen being some kind of trance. Yeah, sorry, I was watching with rapt fascination as I was trying to watch Andrew try to figure out how to get from the traumatizing movie irreversible to the next thing we're talking about. Okay. Check this out motherfucker. I actually don't think I can do the first one that popped into my head. It's really, it's really bad. Okay. Yeah and then there's no need for you to say what it was going to be. If you've decided that you can't do it. Watch, watch. Watch. Watch. No, I can't do that one. Uh, I, I can't do that one. Uh, that. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, I. I, I, I, I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. that. that. that. that. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, I that. I that. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, that. Uh, that. Uh, that. Uh, that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, I that, I that, I that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that and then there's no need for you to say what it was going to be if you've decided that you can't do it.

Watch, watch. No, I can't do that one. What I can do, however, is say, wow, some things are irreversible like Mr. Gaspa knows movie. Another thing that's irreversible is dying in a Dutch canal. In this, the latest installation of Netherlands Watch Corner. Everybody I'm from Holland. Isn't that beer? It is weird to be from there. sorry, I'm sorry I don't make the rules. This was in a sense sent into us by listener, Chev.

Send into your ear canals. Yeah, as in I was doing my podcast work at the bar and I was talking about something to do with the Netherlands. And Chev imparted upon me something he heard from his time living on a boat in Amsterdam and running bar crawls, which is exactly the sort of shit Chev would do. Classic Chev. I mean, hey, if you know Chev, and a tiny fraction of listeners to this podcast, do know Chev. Yeah, and they're sitting in their homes in Brisbane going, I do know chef. I do know chef.

I do this stuff, all the people that listen to this podcast that no chef. Aaron, Judd, Tilly. And I think that's the end of the list. Oh, Ben, friend of the show, Ben, Ben, Ben, Jengles. list. So he was talking about how there's like a crazy big problem with people drowning in Amsterdam's canals, which is not something I had ever heard of and so I decided to take a look into this. Andrew I'm gonna get you to read this out just because there's some fun names in there that I would like to hear in your voice but this is a story from Dutch Amsterdam

NL. Never heard of it. Not sure I like it. I mean how many other Amsterdam's are there? That's what I'm asking. How many people drown in Amsterdam's canals? Take it away Andrew. Amsterdam is often referred to as the Venice of the North. You know how we're always saying that? Yep. Have you been to the Venice of the North. You know how we're always saying that? Yep. Have you been to the Venice of the North? That place where you get mushrooms legally and then you wander around and look at some titties in a window? The Venice of the North. I wonder if there's any Dutch people referring to, um, Venice is the Amsterdam of the South.

Oh, you guys got some canals put in that's nice for you. Cute. Small wonder the city has 165 canals with a combined length of 100 kilometers. That's 60 miles. When you include its rivers and lakes, one quarter of Amsterdam consists of water just like the human body. Wow that human body. Wow, that's amazing. Some 400 times a year, ambulances are called out for someone who fell into a canal. That is a great strike rate. Over one a day, that's beautiful.

A little bit. They're like, they're all fucking being like, ooh, it's gonna be us today? No. Look around you, look to the person to your left, look to the person on the right. If they haven't fallen into a canal, you have. Look to your left, look to your right. Look to your left, look to your right, then look up. If there is nobody to your left or your right, but the person in the upward direction is

very rapidly getting smaller, you are currently falling into a canal. In most cases, there is no lasting harm, however, according to the latest statistics, on average, 18 people a year drown in Amsterdam. The Public Health Service of Amsterdam, the G-G-D-D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D. the the the to-D-D-D-D-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2- the th- th- th- th- thi there, if there is thee- thee thee, if there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is, if there is, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if there, if the th, if th, if th, if th, th, th, th-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2, thee-2, thee- thee, two two thee, the the the theate the theate thee thee thee thee, thee, thee, thee, to the latest statistics, on average, 18 people a year drown in Amsterdam. The public health service of Amsterdam, the GGD, says that nearly 20% of the drowning victims had indications of drug or alcohol addiction were homeless or suffered from mental confusion. Cannot help but feel that that's an unfortunate translation. I forgot which part the dry part was...

Oops, got my wets and my dries mixed up again. that that's an unfortunate translation. I forgot which part the dry part was... Oops. Got my wet summer dries mixed up again. Alcohol and or drug use played a role in 40% of the drownings. That's not that big a shock to me. Who among us has not, I don't know, leapt off something or decided that, hey, what it really hit the spot right now is a little night swimming while very drunk. In a filthy canal.

Those, those, like, shortcuts though, must be just so tempting. You're fucking, oh, fuck, my house is just over there. You're two sheets of the wind, you're standing on the shore of a very narrow canal and it's just over there. The bridges are not even worth thinking about. It's just there, it's right there. You've got the kind of confidence in your own physical abilities that you can only get after having seven Yagamisters. I could do it. I could do it. I can you do it. It's right there., that'd be cool, wouldn't it? That'd be dope, keeping a pole knee house.

I'm just going to go over to the other side. Wooo! I was watching some kind of sport recently, right? And it was like one of those, um, it's pole vaulting, wrong. Wrong, wrong. It's like a, like a canal vaulting thing. I think you're thinking of canal vaulting. That's probably it. Um, but this was one of those like, uh, like Red Bull sponsored, random sports things, you know, uh, and, and they were, I can't remember what country it was from, probably the one with

all the canals. It is from Holland and it is called Fielljepin. Beautiful. And like the poles that they use are crazy tall and they get a big running start at the canal and then as they're going into the vaulting part, they immediately start climbing. They shimmy all the way up to the the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the top the the top of top of the the the the the the the the the the the the thoals of of of of of of thoals of thol and thol of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of tho. thoes of top. top. top of top of top of top of top of top of the the the the the the the the the the the the, and then as they're going into the vaulting part, they immediately start climbing. They shimmy all the way up to the top of this massive pole so that as it falls over, they come to a stop on the other side. And it's very entertaining.

It's like a two-story high pole kind of thing. We're not supposed to think this is funny and make light of this. No. No, I was supposed to say I love elite athletes, you know. We're not meant to make fun of Fierleapin or Polstock for Springen, a traditional sport of the West Friesian people in the Dutch province of Friesland. The sport is nowadays also popular in the province of Utrecht which produced record holder Yoko the grute. And th, which. And th, which. And th, which, which, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th,ute. And that's normal. That's not funny. That's so normal. In many cases men unable of their feet, unstable of their feet due to the effect of drugs or alcohol, fell into a canal while attempting to relieve themselves. Oh, if you don't die your friends are laughing, I got to say. That's probably one of those classic pub stories. if you don't die, your friends are laughing.

I gotta say. That's probably one of those classic pub stories, if you don't die. If you do die, it's a tragedy that will probably haunt your friends forever who asked themselves if they could have done something to stop it from happening. Yeah. Oh, I think about him every time I fall into a canal. If only I've been holding his shoulders while he was pissing into the canal so it didn't fall in.

If only we use the buddy system where we tie our rope to each other while we piss. There should just be a buddy system where you hold the back of your pal's shirt, I think. It's like a trust fall, but for pissing into a canal and not dying. Attempting to balance yourself at the edge of a canal while inebriated is difficult, more so when it is dark. Thank you. Thank you, Dutch Amsterdam.NL. You also just came out of a warm pub into the cold of the night. Often something called Mike Turition Syncope happens,

the name given to the human phenomenon of fainting shortly after or during urination. Alcohol causes you... You ever had that one happening before? Had a friend have it happened to them. Allow me to tell the story in one second. Alcohol causes your blood vessels to expand, hence the red cheeks, less blood flows back to your heart, this causes blood pressure to drop, which in turn causes dizziness. So this friend of ours, like family friends, a couple, my dad worked with these people for years. And this lady was in her house sitting on the toilet, peeing when she fainted, right? And apparently this is a common thing, like one of those, one of those sort of weird things

where there is some little confluence of factors of like, you know, your bowel emptying and relieving the pressure on one thing and something else happening, and like you just pass out, right? But because she was sitting on the toilet, in the bathroom, she just fell face forward onto the tiles and smashed her fucking face and knocked her teeth out and shit. No.

It's just coming to with your pants around your ankles and like you've just been hit in the face with a sledgehammer. So that was a, that was a bad time for her, you know. But real thing definitely happens. Once someone has fallen into the water, it is difficult to get out, even if the unlucky person is not inebriated. Well, who put the canals there? Dutch people? Can I? Sorry, here's a fucking statistic. It is responsible for 2.4 to 8.4% of all cases of fainting in adults, occurring mostly in men. The old piss fain, huh?

Yeah, keep an eye on for that one, guys. Here's some treatment things here. General advice to men with maturician syncope, I assume that's how that's pronounced, includes to sit while urinating, done, to sit on the edge of the bed for a while before getting up and going to the toilet. Easy. Avoid urinating while sleepy. Seems a little harder. Urinate before you go to sleep, and if you feel the onset of faintness, simply cross your legs and flex them immediately to stop urination. But then that apparently stops you from pissing.

It's like, um, it's like, uh, it's like, uh, as, as far as just being one of those little reflex things, it's like when you're watching fighting and somebody gets hit in the liver and they just immediately collapse, like they don't go unconscious or anything, but they just fall down. Right, like if somebody, if somebody gets like, yeah, kicked hard, like in the side around the back or sort of. Or if someone like kind of winds their arm up kind of backwards like they're winding up the spring and a toy. After you've said hey, wallop me with the biggest haymaker you possibly can. Okay. Okay. But yes it's this like complete reflex thing.

Because apparently I was reading about this at some point you it it's this like complete reflex thing. Because apparently I was reading about this at some point. It like shocks the liver, I'm referring to Wikipedia here, shocks the liver the largest gland organ and center of blood circulation. And what happens is that when you get slammed in the liver really hard because it's responsible for circulating your blood, your body involuntarily goes, ah, what the fuck? It's really important that we keep blood moving around. And so it just says, I'm going to turn off the least important stuff that's furthest away from the brain. Legs, you're out of here. Wow. And so like, so yeah, while people, when they see that happen in a fight, they think that

like someone has just been badly hurt, but instead it's, I'm sure it hurts very much, but it's a completely involuntary reaction in your body. The body's just prioritized its systems. Yeah, it happens in your body goes, oh, better start throwing some switches. Don't have enough power slots available for leg. Yeah, they're up there in their their their their their th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, someone, someone, someone, th, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, th, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, th some someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, to, someone, to someone, to someone, to someone, to, to someone, to someone, to to someone, to to to to to to someone, to to th so someone, th so someone, th so someone, th so someone, th so someone, like, th so someone, like, tho, like, like, tho, tho, tho, thoomomoomorrow, thoooom so someone, thoooooome someone, thooooooooom? someone, someone, someone, thoo, someone, someone, they're up there in the old cabin throwing, you know, like the big lever that they have on the titanic. Chick-chiping. Engines, engines, down. Legs, full stop.

They pull both of those for each leg. The bell rings somewhere down near your assole. Remarbiegu of. each leg, the bell rings somewhere down near your asshole. We're about to get over. It tops you. They know. Shut that shit off. Most keys are quite high and there are not many ladders or jetties. In addition, many canals are free of houseboats, sloops and dingies that someone would be able to hold or climb onto. This place is a fucking death trap.

Ah help, I've fallen to a slupe-less canal. Somebody throw me a sloop. Is there a sloop at hand? In the past there used to be life-saving equipment such as swimming hooks, lifelines and life boys attached to bridges, but vandal and theft made an end to that. Like a permanent end? You Dutch sons of bitches. I'm going to steal this life rig. What they laugh. It's just one mad Dutchman like going around the countryside frowning as he removes each front. Look what you've done. Every uh, I'm picturing it as being like the traffic cone thing, like every uni student sharehouse you go into has a life preserver up on the wall.

Yeah. But how many people, both locals and tourists, actually drown in Amsterdam's canal? In 2015, Tobias Van Dyke, a researcher with the Public Health Service of Amsterdam, GGD. I want, Ben, what is that? What is that in Dutch? th? Like? Like? Like? Like? Like? Like? Like? th? th? that? that? th? that? that? th? th? th? th? that? th? th? th? th? th? thi? thi? Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? thi? thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi? the Public Health Service of Amsterdam, GGD. Ben, what is that in Dutch? I don't know. I'm not looking into it. Go on. Study drowning incidents in the city.

He reports that each year more than 30 people drown in Amsterdam's open water, including not just the canals, but also lakes, rivers, ditches, swimming pools and garden ponds. These motherfuckers love drowning. How... Oh, it rained pretty hard last night. Stay safe everybody. Ah, so the GGGED stands for the... Community-like Gizondheid's dance.

Bless you. Yeah, thank you. About a quarter, say seven or eight, of those 30 people drown in a canal. But on average, only three people a year are presumed to have drowned while peeing into a canal. That conclusion is usually based on the state of the victim's clothes, e.g. open zipper or pants undone. Oh man, that's grim. I've just been like, oh, this one also had this penis out. He must have been a piss one. Oh, coroner respectfully tucing your penis back in your pants.

Oh, it's solidly like one hand, closing your eyes, the other hand pulling up your fly. Oh, placing... placing one coin over the end of your penis for the river man. Another one, balls completely empty. Oh, just tap it on the side. Hear in the fucking the hollow sound. Theo, are you referring to that hollow sound you hear when your balls have been emptied of piss? Wrap a little mallet against them.

Oh boy, open zipper means you brought this on yourself I guess. That's... Well, I'm saying like... I like that they presume that they weren't jacking off. That's nice of them. That is very nice of them. How about this though? You're in Holland to do a murder, right?

All you gotta do is get that guy's fly down before you push him into the canal. That's good. Strangle somebody, drag him out to a canal, pop that zip it down and push him in. That's the first thing they look at and as soon as they see that they're like no foul place here. Case closed. Yeah, it looks like there's a lot those blood vessels in his eyes, he probably had that fainting while you're pissing thing. I know. It's poorly understood according to the Wikipedia article, so yeah. Maybe it causes being stamped three times in the chest. How to say. Van Dyke notes that forensic research into the actual circumstances surrounding

a drowning is complicated. That's why you need piss cams. 165 canals, 165 piss cams. Oh, I thought you were talking like a body camber for your dick. You know? Wait, is it looking up at you? No. All... All Dutch men receive a belt buckle. A mount sitting on it comes out, turned down, 90 degree angle.

Body cam at all times pointed straight down. So they can see exactly what kind of activity you were up to before you fell in the canal. Yes, you do have to let them record your penis at pretty much all other times. But I think it's a small price to pay to slightly better understand whether or not someone was actually pissing when they fell in or if they were just walking around with their fly down. Because when you be mad... It might have just been a pervert. Or like, you know, you pissed at the pub. Before you came out, you forgot to put your fly up because you fainted while you were pissing And then you get up and walk out of there

Somebody shoves you in a towar You're like hey look at this guy's zipper Plus if you pee is too dark a nice man shows up at your house and knocks three times on the door excuse me? You'll need to drink more water You hydrated, sure. It's actually a thing they have from medieval times of when the guy would just watch you piss and they'd tell you that. He wears a traditional Jester's outfit, the piss jester. Some of the best hydration rates in the world in Holland?

Yeah, they're all falling into canals, soaking wet. Jesus fuck. Well, that was Dutch Watch. Great news though. We got some more Dutch Watch coming right out yet. However, this is a blend. This, uh, this, we are bringing you, um, you know, we are the simileas of the news world. That's true.

This one for you right now, this is a blend of two types of news that you've tried before and you said you liked. So this one is a blend of Netherlands Corner and Nature Corner. We love it when two corners intersect. I don't really know what kind of space that creates to intersecting corners. I'm not sure either. I mean, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I that. I that. I that. that. that. that. that. that, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, that. This is, that. This is, that. This, that. This, that. that, that. that. that. that. that. that, um. that. that. that, um. that, um. that, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, that. I, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, what kind of space that creates to intersecting corners. Yeah I'm not sure either. I mean that it's very hard to imagine. Are they still corners then? If they're intersecting? Well I mean if it's two corners you describing intersecting is the corner of like a cube.

Each corner is the intersection of three corners actually. Well, this isn't three sides. This isn't three genres. If you intersect corners, then you have to create a new corner. A corner corner? What if you imagine two corners and there's a wall in between them and you're standing right in the middle of the wall? What if you imagine two corners and they've got huge titties and they're just going to town on each other? Oh fuck. One of the corners is 45. We've got to play the nature corner theme as well or... Do you think that would be appropriate at this

time? No, fuck it. Who cares? Okay. Anyway this is a blend of Dutch news and nature cor news and as thus the only solution to that would be the to to to to the to the to play the to play to play the the to play the the the to play the the the the the the the the to play the the the the the the the the to play the the to play the the to be to be the the the the the to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. the thonenene. thoooooo. thooo. thooo. theean. thooooo. thooo. theean. thean. thean. the thean blend of Dutch News and Nature Corner News. And as thus, the only solution to that would be to play the Nature Corner theme and the Netherlands Corner theme at the same time. And then we'll create a type of dark chaos that we're not sure you're ready for. This story is from Dutch News. Nell. So you know it's good. Return to the King! Large and in charge, baby. Thank goodness, because that story from Dutch Amsterdam.Nol was bullshit. Dutch News. Nol.

Yes. That's what's up. The original. The best. We fucking love it. We love to hear it. Dike Breach in Zood Holland. Was it cows or crayfish? Really in life are those the two culprits you've narrowed your list down to.

A lot of things crossed off on that list. So get right down, let's try and think about if you thought a crime had been committed, what are the factors? What's the evidence you could find that would make you think it could have been a cow or a crayfish? It's salt because cows like salt licks and crayfish, they're a saltwater crayfish. Okay, I'll take it. An investigation has been started into the cause of a dike breach in Rewike in the province of Zyrd Holland in the early hours of Monday morning with the American crayfish, one of the contenders. The farmer whose fields were flooded as a... the farmer whose field were flooded. You got your translation not up

to the usual standard here at Dutch News. I actually think these guys are all native English speakers from what I've heard from listening to the podcast. God damn. The farmer whose field were flooded as a result of the breach told local broadcaster Umrupp West that in his opinion the breach was down to the destructive American crayfish rather than the recent flooding in Limburg. This guy's just been looking for a, looking for any excuse to blame the American crayfish. Who I believe is a local superhero. The American crayfish. One also killed his wife.

You don't forget something like that. No. Quote. They're annoying away at the dike and its condition is getting worse. The weakest links break, he said. In another 400 years it'll be completely shot through. In another 400 years, they will have eaten me. What is this dyke made out of? Cheese, traditionally. Softest cheese we can find. It's either gooda or it's dirt, I think,

and probably the two most likely materials. If we don't do something about this animal, more damage will be done. Others have suggested the cows which have trampled the dike have caused it to shift and break. They don't say who these others are. Just, well... Some guys. I think it was cows. Oh. It's the word about... I'll put that in the paper.

Holding a microphone down into a canal for some Vox Pops. That's interesting, this guy just said, Gurgle, Gurgle, Gurgle. Tell them I wasn't piercing. So that I can go into Valhalla. You reach the pearly gates and Shane Peters sees your dick out of your pants. Come on man, we can't have you walking around like that for eternity. Because you have to wear the clothes you're wearing when you died and haven't. We don't make the rules, folks.

The Rhineland Water Board has called the crayfish scenario unlikely but said it is not ruling anything out. I really anything out. Could be aliens, Bigfoot. Yeah. I want to have been... Some little lobsters. Um, I just... Yep. I want it to be some little lobsters.

I just was struck by a thought. Oh my god. We have never looked to see if there are Dutch cryptids. Oh my god. Now I assume that while you were saying that to me, you've googled the phrase Dutch cryptid. I googled Holland Crypted and I got a Wikipedia page in the category Dutch legendary creatures. And the last entry under Z is Zate Pete. I'm going to say that my three favorite is the three in a row you get from L through P,

Languapper, Udero the Ogan and pig-faced women. Yeah that's right, it's their wives. There's one here that just says B for Belgians. Uh-oh, here it comes the Belgian. He's going to steal your children. Legends featuring pig-faced women originated roughly, simultaneously in Holland, England and here comes the Belgian. He's going to steal your children. Legends featuring pig-faced women originated roughly, simultaneously, in Holland, England and France in the late 1630s. The stories tell of a wealthy woman whose body is of a normal human appearance, but whose face is that of a pig. Haunting stuff.

In the earliest forms of the story, the woman's pig-like appearance is the result of witchcraft. Following her wedding day, the pig-faced woman's new husband is granted the choice of having her appear beautiful to him, but pig-like to others, or pig-like to him and beautiful to others. When her husband tells her that the choice is hers, the enchantment is broken and her pig-like appearance vanishes. These stories became particularly popular in England and later in Ireland. I think we might have actually found a through line here. This one is about Languapa who is a Flemish folkloric character who is a legendary giant

and a trickster. I'm sorry, I'm going to read this whole paragraph. I feel like tricksters are usually small. I'm sorry, I'm going to read this whole paragraph. I feel like tricks does are usually small. I'm just going to say. The legend started in the 16th century in Uylaik, a farmer found an enormous garden parsley and a red cabbage in his bed. When he touched the vegetables, they turned into a cute baby. As he was unable to take care for the child, was adopted... Yep, no that's what it says. It was adopted by a family living in Antwerp.

Many years later, the boy helped persons in need. One day he saved an old woman who was thrown into the river shelt by a youth gang. The old woman... The old woman... Into another canal? Where was his penis when he got thrown him? is stolen off as well. The old woman thank the man by giving him some gifts, such as the ability to shape shift, and to make himself so tall he can move from one town to another with a single giant leap.

That is baller. As he preferred to be his tall size, he got the nickname Languapper. The man turned into a water sprite who like to approach women to get their breast milk. He teases drugs, cheats while playing with children and laughs like the devil. Oh my god. I love him so much. This guy is so cool. Oh, now you're not to give Langewapa your booby.

I mean, my sincere hope is that he's asking them to bottle the breast milk before he gets it. I don't think that that's what I'm. Please, I'm dying of this. Oh, I'm actually a giant scientist and I need to run some tests. I have several, several bottles here. Yes, it just looks like my normal drink bottle with the screw top lid. Just pop something in there for me.

And he laughs like the devil. We weren't wrong about the Belgian. Uh, Ulao Ergen or old red eyes, otherwise known as the beast of Flanders is a Flemish boogieman. The legend of Utherode Ergen began in the Flanders region of Belgium in the late 17th century after reports of children who went missing and were believed to be victims of a cannibalistic shape shifter. Witnesses claim to have seen a large naked black man, oh no. Running away after try to steal a young girl from a bed, he was shot at and seemed to change into a large black dog.

A homeless man was soon found living near Neckerspule and without trial was lynched and skinned alive. Good Lord. The skin is said to be buried in the basement of St. Rumb a ghostly dark figure with fiery red eyes been seen in Metroline and surrounding areas so that he was once seeks his skin to become whole again as the demonic demonic figure he once was during the 20th century. It sounds like he was just a guy at some point you know. Oh no. Oh no.

Reading a head a little here. The ghost, ghostly being became known as the nicker with 2Ks. And a harder. De Nica or the necker. That's, yeah. As part of a story told children who stayed up past their bed time. Um, I gotta say like, uh,, like all kids, like all kids, watch Disney movies and shit, and they liked Tangled, which is the version of the Rapunzel story, right? So when we were doing a long interstate drive, back when you could do things like that,

we were like, oh well, let's let's listen to some like audio books or stories or whatever, you know, and they were like, oh, is there a Rapunzel one? We looked and there was. And listening to just like a direct translation of original versions of fairy tales, they are all fucking bananas. They're all like this. They're all absolutely wild. Which is ironic because they literally are for kids, but they're not for kids. Uh, very cool.

Hang on. Hang on. All right. Look under W for me. What is the one entry there? Uh, I believe that was white women. It is white women. Yeah. Weird to even, also known as, weird to wifeen, spirits of wise women. Uh, with women in modern Dutch, low Saxon literally translate to white women. Huh. Does it say whether they do or do not be shopping?

It doesn't say. It's interesting. Oh, that's interesting. In some places they were known as Euphorus or Euphorus or as Darmes Blanche, white ladies in French. That's beautiful. What a wonderful fictional place. Here's one from Dutch Folklor. Sorry, this is just the show now.

Yeah, I remember reading crypted Wikipedia's. Oh wow, holy fuck, they're in German mythology as well. Vice Frowen, the white women of German mythology. Nearly Village of Eifter is, with we've even built, this translates as White Women Hill. Oh, this fucking whips. All right, here's one called Cluder. Oh, again, in Brabant, but mostly in parts of Belgium. People feared the nocturnal Cluder, shouting monster. Hence the name, Cluder.

He shouts Cludo? That's my understanding. Cluder. People know him as a horrifying tormentor. Some people have described the Cluda as a water demon. Supposedly a big dog that walks on its hind legs with heavy chains, a bear claws, a black beak, green glistening scales on the bat wings on his back and crimson-colored bulging eyes. Dope! I love these like 16th century legends, they're just throwing, they're throwing everything at the wall. Whatever you've got.

Whatever you got, scales, bat wings, white women. He terrorizes children and pulls children into the water. The Cluder can move at immeasurable speeds and is said to spawn from the cremated bodies of witches and wizards. Some say if one were to kill the Cluder, seven more would crawl from its corpse. He likes to play dangerous games such as jumping on unsuspected passes by and becoming increasingly heavy. The monster can sometimes be found in the reeds, under bridges and inside of hollow trees.

Should one encounter the beast, their best hope is that their feet are faster than the cluters claws. Throwing a handkerchief could save their life. Just like with the werewolf, this fiend has no other choice but to rip it apart carefully, fiber by fiber. Hmm. Hmm. I didn't know that about the werewolf, but that's helpful to me.

Although it means I've got to start carrying a handkerchief. The crypted wiki has an entry for the Dutch Flying Jellyfish, which I thought was a disgusting sex move before reading this. The Dutch flying jellyfish is an atmospheric jellyfish type of UFO cited in Netherlands by Harry Perton. The citing prompted speculations on what the creature really was. Atmospheric jellyfish are flying jellyfish that have been sighted floating in the atmosphere. It is mostly known because of its appearance in the Secret Saturdays.

According to British scientist, Dr. Maggie Alderan Pocock, the aliens likely exist. Now I want to make something really clear to all of our listeners out there. The Rhineland Water Board is not ruling any of these things out. It could be any of them. Could be white women. Could be the cludo. White women did it. They have those in Holland, right? It's some of the widest. Huh. Wagoningen researcher Eva Ruecink said there are circumstances in which the

crayfish may have contributed to the damage of the dyke. Crafish like to dig holes and they have been a very few examples of rats digging away on the other side. Like they're working in concert. Hey, what made in the middle? I can hear clicking guys. We're almost there. On the other side. you guys smell cheese? You guys smell cheese? Union. Leaks have been on to occur as a result but it very rarely happens. Rossink told the broadcaster. So it feels like he's really just trying to help out, you know, this farmer who's saying that it's crayfish. Sure, theoretically, he's...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess, maybe. Yeah, yeah. He's currently playing the role of the wild-haired guy on ancient aliens. Was it crayfish? Nobody knows. We can't say for sure. Could have been. I mean, cows could have easily done it but you know crayfish. The crayfish, Procamborous Clarki or Red Swamp crayfish, are thought to have traveled from their native United States in the ballast tanks of large freighters in

the mid-1980s and are well adapted to local waterways. Who the fuck put them in there and have they get back out? What is going on here? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? the the their their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to to th. th. th. th. th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, th. th. th. to, thi. the. to, tho. tho. the. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. to local waterways. Who the fuck put them in there and have they get back out? What is going on here? Well, so you pick up ballast from where you start. No, I reckon somebody puts the, they unravel a hose, and they pop it into the ballast hole, and they turn it on, and then they look at their watch and say, got enough time for a quick game with dark their their their to dark to dark to dark to dark to dark to dark to dark to to to to to to to turn it on and then they look at their watch and say, got enough time for a quick game with dark souls. I'm always filling my ballast hole with crabs and... And whatnots. They're not that about you. It's interesting.

They are well adapted to the local waterways. They are particularly common in Uthrect, New Holland and Zood Holland. The crayfish have very few natural enemies. This one guy. And their number is now thought to run into billions. That's a little unsolved. That's too many crayfish. What number would you like? Ten? For the whole world? For the whole world? I mean we can share, we can kind of go on a crayfish rotation system, like crayfish

sharing. Sort of one crayfish maybe per continent and then three for extra crayfish for the biggest continents. There's definitely too many, I feel. Too many crayfish. I remember like one of the first times I went hiking up at Springbrook. Oh, beautiful part of the country. Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, thii, thi, thi, the thi, the the the the the the the the the the thi, the the the the the the the tho, the the tho, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the-fish, thea, theaugh, thrasha, tha, tha, thrasha, tha, thrash, tha, tha, their their their the first times I went hiking up at Springbrook. Oh, beautiful part of the country. O'Reilly's up up up up up.

Ben just immediately overcome by remembering part of Queensland's country side. Oh man. Springbrook, beautiful place. But like yeah, just walking around and I like looking down at where I'm walking and stuff and I look up and there's this fucking b blue crayfish standing right in the middle of the path. Ah, one of our famous mountain lobsters. Yeah, just like snipping his little snips at me and I don't know, I was extremely discombobulated. It's not what I was expecting to see at that particular time. No. They're just in the water up there in the mountains they're in the mountains they're in the ocean they're in our fish tanks they're in our stomachs they might be in

your house fucking your wife hmm they probably are the crayfish is voracious appetite and destructive habits are detrimental to water quality and diversity same that's why they're trying to pin this crime on him them That's why they're trying to pin this crime on him. Now look, that was a blend. You've tried that out, you've given it a taste. And right now you're swirling it around in your mouth. And then you're going to spit it into the cupped hands of me standing next to your table. Very strange.

Yes, thank you, sir. We're out of buckets. My name's Andrew and I'll be your bucket this evening. Please, if you need somewhere to spit, just straight into my mouth. Just call me over, I'll kneel down next to the table. Oh no, I don't work here. Sir, I'm not going to swallow the wine, I have some class, please. So you know, you try to blend and you turn to me kneeling down all red around the mouth and you say, you know what, I'm going to need some uncut nature corner. I'm going to need pure nature corner. I want the

single origin. We need single origin, nature corner. And we're going to go out of our way here and make this as single origin as it can possibly be. Not only is this just a nature corner story for you the paying customer. Oh you're not not paying customers. It might be. There's about a one in seven chance you're a paying customer. You're not paying customer. It might be. There's about a one in seven chance you're a paying customer. Maybe you could be. Uh, this is not just a pure nature corner story. This is a single animal focused nature corner.

This is a single origin nature corner story. And to that end, allow us to treat you to my dear. Now, didn't anticipate that? Wonderful. You might have guessed. Maybe you haven't. Maybe you're one of the one in seven real duncees who listens to the show. This is a story about an eagle horse.

Hang on, you're saying that the same number of people that pay for the podcast are the number of people that listen to this show and R.A.Dunce? No, no, I'm saying it's a similar number, but they're not the same group. Oh, okay. Only the smartest and best-up. Decide to go to Patreon.com slash Buntavista and sign up for an extra episode every week. Only the finest specimens. That's right. Five US dollars a month. Yeah, unfortunately one in seven listeners are unreachable louts. They're clumsy. They're foolish. They're knocking a lot of stuff over in their house

and then saying, you know? Trying to fight the witcher. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One and seven listeners is currently walking around asking, have you seen my glasses? Have you seen my glasses? Just up the top, you know? Classic, classic dunce stuff. First place you should look.

This comes to us from the website. Inspirement. That's right. Inspirement. Okay. Oh. People who raise horses often claim that the animals have a therapeutic effect on them. In fralls, horse by the name of Pai-o is well known as an excellent therapist that helps

sick people get better. In fact... They put a therapist in quotation marks there, just I want to stress that because that horse is not... A qualified therapist. In fact horse therapy is a recognized form of treatment but again the horse is not the therapist in this scenario we need you to realize that we need you to understand there's an accompanying person generally Peo is a 14 year old stallion from the city of Dijon, named after the mustard. That's right, Andrew.

I love it so much. Two times a month, he visits hospitals in the locality. I really, I know that this isn't the case, but I would really prefer to picture this story as Pao just kind of, he's out in a field and he goes, oh, the time of the month? And he just sets off down the road. It is time to go to hospital. May. Oh, somebody needs Paio's help.

Oh. What is that? A sick person? He's depressed. I must go now. Le hospital, please. Nope, that's Spanish. If you please. Oh, Rappido, also Spanish. Oh, somebody need one of pale's medicinal cigarette.

Who, dear, needs to be kissed by a horse? While the thought of a horse entering a hospital might sound unhygienic, the administrators take every precaution to ensure that PAYO is sanitary when inside the building. How the fuck can that be sure? Well they starve him three weeks before he goes so he can't shit anywhere. They start off by supergluing PAYo's urethra closed. It's just full like the cap of a silicon gun. And at the end, like me dealing with the cap of a silicon gun, they put a screw in. They make a, they make like a giant horse-sized set of the rubber waiters that flyfishers wear,

you know. It's full to the prim. Also, can I say, bus drivers hate therapy horses. No, you must understand that this is a very special horse. I'm taking this horse to a hospital. No, the horse is not sick, let me on the bus. This horse is helping people, you swine. The horse is healthy. The people are sick. The irony is that if that bus driver went on strike to keep therapy horses off the bus, Peo would be right there alongside him, trampling a policeman. That's a good idea actually.

You should be able to bring your own horses to a protest. It's so good wouldn't it? You like the... Oh, it's so cool, is it? Oh, I'm up here now. Oh, we're the same height, mother fucker. It is hard to control these so that they don't step on you. You can trample someone to death quite easily. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the the the same. Oh, the same. Oh, the the the they. Oh, they. Oh, th. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. We're. We're. Oh, the. Oh, the the the same. Oh, the same these so that they don't step on you. I agree. You can trample someone to death quite easily. Moving towards the cop car. Oh, my horse is very scared.

Suddenly you like hitting horses? Oh. Peo's tail and mane are braided. His hooves are grease. Come on. Well, that's just adding an element of silliness. Okay. Make sure these horses' feet are as slippery as possible.

We stand up here, you put the pins down there. We push your horse to victory. Monsieur, are you sure the horses are you saying? Uh, to victory. Monsieur, are you sure the horses, uh, how you say? Uh, haginic? Oh, his tail and mane are braided, his hooves are greased. His body is completely covered by an antibacterial lotion, and a big blanket is put over him.

He is very a circumstance. It's fucking insane. They, they just got to put Peo into like a big biohazard suit. Surely that's easier than all this. You got to put him on those like, Zorb balls. Roll him down the hole. It's just full of horse piss and horse shit, swirling around this horse, just crashing into everything.

Please, some people's they need him. He's freaking out inside the, the fucking, the ball from, oh god. What's the band thinking of? I'm thinking of the show Gladiators. Yeah, they'll come to me later. The big metal ball. Flaming lips, that's who you think of. Flaming lips, thank you.

So, can I just do the rest of this story in a French accent? Is that okay? Yeah, I would love it if you did. People at home, I want want want want know I'm now smoking a big cigarette. Luckily, that doesn't come through your speakers or anything. I know you're worried. That doesn't come through your speakers. Don't have to be concerned about any health issues.

Once inside, pay always free to go wherever he wants. Incredibly. How the fuck is he wants. Incredibly. What the fuck is he making? He's the administrator of this hospital and I give this horse carte blanche, complete freedom of movement within this hospital. If he asks for access to surgical tools that goes into the ER, that is on him. Oh, liberty. Oh, no. He is inside your nursery. That is destiny.

Oh, you say Peo is biting leukemia patients? Oh no! Ha ha ha ha. Very lucky. Ha ha ha. Nottie, he is a wild spirit. He cannot be time. I do not care if he went into the morgue and is desegrating your husband's gods. Goodness. Incredibly.

Peo often goes into the rooms of people who are the sickest. In many cases, those who are dying. Is this like the cats that go in and sit on somebody's chest when they're on the way out? Payo coming in, sitting down on top of you, helping you along the way? Imagine you like... Every patient that Peo sits on dies. It's an expendable. It's like he knows. It's like he knows.

Imagine you having like your final moments with a loved one and they're just like, they're just, they're just, their consciousness is receding, you know, they're just, and you're tenderly sort of holding their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin', thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thin, thin, thi.a.a, thi.a, thi.a.a. thi. thi. t. thi. thi. tend, thi. of your last words to each other, and they're just peacefully, and one of you is just like, holy fuck, there's a horse! What the fuck? He's just eating all the flowers that you brought from. This is very bizarre. We have a lung cancer patient. We have a leukemia patient. We have a leukemia patient.

We have a man who was in a car accident and broke his leg. All three died from severely exploded organs. Ah, the coincidence. Life is beautiful. Lighting another, another like medicinal cigarette. This is, this is haunting. Peo often goes into the rooms of people who are the sickest. He just stands near the patients and they instantly take a liking to him.

I like this horse's vibe. A sort of silent communication between the patients and they instantly take a liking to him. I don't like this horse's vibe. A sort of silent communication between Paio and the patience takes place and people even cry in the horse's presence. Imagine happy tears. Waking up and there's like... This fucking giant. How many of these people have like heard the Johnny Cash song, you know, when the man comes around? I behold a horse in my fucking hospital room when I just woke

up. That's good, right? Doctors told me I don't have long to live and I woke up and there's a horse in the room, that's good? Look how keen they are to like roll with this. It's always a good omen when a horse turns the the man. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, the the the the the the the the man, the th, th, th, th, th, the man, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, this, th. It's thin, this this th th th th th th th- th- th- th- th- th- th th the, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the man, the man, the man, the man, the man, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the thin, thin, the thin, the thin, the the the th horse in the room that's good. That's an open they are to like roll with this. It's always a good omen when a horse turns up. Quote, Peshawants who tend to be angry and aggressive become calm. Peshont side of horse reprisals. Yeah everybody like, I love how every one of these things indicates like just fear to me, the next one in particular. Patients who tend to be angry and aggressive become calm. Patients who don't want to walk anymore, start walking.

Yeah, out of the words. Like, can you get rid of this horse out of you? Some of the ladies in senior homes even go to the hairdresser the day before pay or come, so they will look at best, no? No? All right. Is this... Look, I'm gonna be charitable and

I gotta get my hair done because payers coming through and he fronts up on people who are about to die and I want to look good on my deathbed. Yep. Uh-huh. The medical staff call it magical. According to Pets Lady? Yeah, the primary source for this, this article is an article on the website, Pets Lady. Pets Lady. Yeah.

Okay, that's normal to me. Pail wasn't always a therapy horse. He was part of the German High Command before changing his name. He got air lifted out of there as part of Operation Paper Clip. And then somehow came back to Europe. I met Paio when he was playing stand-up bass in a jazz band. In a smoky basement in Paris. When Buchashore, uh, Boucher Coo, uh, Boucher Coo, when Boucher Corps was traveling with

Peo, that's his honor, for shows, he noticed the horse was attracted to people who were disabled. Eventually... Is your victims? Just... What's this horse's deal? You know? Walking up to people? Hmm.

Hey, bro. You look frail. What would it... We're going to get on just fine. Have you, have you got your affairs in order? You might want to get your affairs in order. Hey, what do you think it happened if a horse stepped on you? Want to find out? Eventually, Bushakor started taking pay off or therapy visits and discovered

the horse was very good at making sick people happy. Now, if you want to just Google Peo therapy horse, you'll probably see the photo that's been leading most of the articles about this, which is an old lady, very old lady in a hospital bed, and she's weeping as this fucking gigantic horse looms over her. Like it is right next to the bed, right up over her. And it's just kind of a fucked up scenario. I'm like, I'm pretty bugged out by horses like at the best of times just because they are like, you know, sort of car-sized muscle machines yeah and they get spooked by a lot of

stuff you know and that their reaction when they're spooked is to kill you yes well it's it's at the very minimum to just kind of thrash around a little bit you know yeah and hospitals a lot of narrow corridors and small rooms, you know. So I'm just trying to work out what Ben scrolling through using the reflection of his glasses. I'm looking at pictures of the therapy horse. Uh, certainly, look, and I'm, you know, I'm sure this is actually created some beautiful experiences for people that are in a very, very, you know, dark and difficult place. Horses are wonderful animals. Uh, my th, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just th th th th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just. I'm just I'm just. I'm just I I I I I I I I I I I'm just I I I I I I I I I I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just try, I'm just th. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm sure this is actually created some beautiful experiences for people that are in a very very, very, very, very place. Horses are wonderful animals.

My mom has done some sort of therapy stuff with her horses, with other, you know, with people that would benefit from that and it's all gone very, very well. But if fucking, I just found a picture where it looks like is pointing into a room and saying, yep, that guy's about to cark it. That one. Oh, please look at the image I just posted in the chat. This guy is, how you say, completely fucked. This guy's about to groak. He's like the grim reaper.

Who brought the horse in? The horse brought itself in by all accounts You're not gonna say no to a horse What do you think you're gonna say sorry we don't allow our hospitals of this horse We don't allow horses in this hospital and the horse is gonna be like oh yeah no worries I'll come back tomorrow and the next day until you let me touch a sick person. Look, it's a fascinating story, but it really raises some questions for me. Some really important questions. If I were to make a list of those questions,

and prioritize them. Most important one, obviously right at the top. To me, the most important question would be, is it a scallop or is it a potato cake? Wow, you really fucking brought it home, didn't you? I am the embodiment of an impulse, I can't not do it, you know? So you haven't answered the question though. What is it in Queensland? Did you grow up in Queensland? Were they calling it a potato cake or a scallop there? I I I I I is, I is, is, is, is, is, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it's a they? Is it's i i's a they? Is it, is a they? Is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is a they? Is it, is a they? Is it, is a they? Is it, is a they? Is it, is a the the the the the the the the theytapoletetetetetetetetetetetetetolopatolopatoletetolopatoletatolomea? Is it's a scallop, is a scallop, is a scallop, is a scallop, is a scallop, is a scallop, is a grow up in Queensland? Were they calling it a potato cake or a scallop there?

I honestly don't know. It's a potato scallop in Queensland. Oh, I think you know, you just don't want to make anyone mad when you answer the question. Leave me alone. Gonna get a little controversial on the timeline here. Oh boy, folks, that's it. The one... That's it.

That's what's up. That was what was up. That next episode you'll find out what else is up. Or will...it's going to become what is up in the future and will be what's up by the time of here. This has been what's up. The stuff that we just talked about was that's what's up. And on the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the time of here. This has been what's been up. The stuff that we just talked about was that's what's up. And on the next episode, which as we mentioned you can get by going to

Patreon.com slash Buntovista, signing up, that one that comes out later on in the week will be detailing more of that's what's up. Yeah. The wonderful Lucy could not be with us due to work commitments, but she will be on that episode. That's right, we're paywalling women's voices. No, we're they're the valuable ones and that's why you have to pay to hear them. They're precious. We're actually, we're A, B testing to find out which host is the favorite. And which one will be jettisoneded and into into into into into into into into into into into into into the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. their. their. their. their. their. their. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. that. that. testing to find out which host is the favorite. So... And which one will be jettisoned into space. Where do we get the best conversion man during that? Oh, oh, hearing a woman's voice isn't worth $5 a month to you?

Wow. That's crazy. If it were up to me, Paio would be visiting you tomorrow, the one in seven of our listeners walking around in a dunce cap who doesn't respect Lucy. However, I've heard that you can actually clear that situation up by signing up for the Patreon. Doing some sort of a signal of how virtuous you are. You know? Do you think I should also put the ad in this episode or do you reckon this would probably stand on its own? I think you should put it in twice. Okay, well, let's see how I feel when it comes time.

Oh, that's it everybody. That's what's up. We'll see you later. Bye. Bye. Bye. you