Boonta Vista - EPISODE 214: The 2021 Laughies (Feat. Tom Cardy)

Episode Date: August 27, 2021

Andrew, Lucy and Theo are joined by returning handsome guest, the one and only musical comedy genius Tom Cardy! Tom's here to talk music, mysterious goo, bone-crushing rollercoasters, expensive scam straws and more. You can stream Tom's new album Artificial Intelligence in all the usual places, but you should buy it on Bandcamp instead! https://tomcardy.bandcamp.com/album/artificial-intelligence Follow Tom on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW7AGm8JSBEEew61dJIgl_A

Welcome to Buon de Vista episode 214. I am Theo and I'm here backstage at the Australian Comedy Music Festival Awards competition. We would like to refer to as the Lafayette's Festival Awards competition. We would like to refer to as the Laughies, just a little bit of the inside baseball food. Anyway, so of course we're all here, we're all kind of practicing our very funny parody songs. I've got a song, it's sort of like a, it's exactly the same as bittersweet symphony, I haven't

done any work like arranging it or anything like that on guitar. But it's now called, can I see feet for free? You know, it's not a, madam can I see feet for free on line? Etc. It's dog shit, it's complete dog shit. Are there any jokes in it? Oh well you heard just then, kind of... Oh you're not okay. I mean I don't I don't send anything like that to people and if I did it would be a joke. Oh I see. Comedy. All right. Hmm. Comedy. We're fixating on comedy here. I'm also here with Lucy who is doing a piano cover of a rap song, which is very funny. It's always, and you're white. I am white, but the thing is that it's a feminist anthem.

So you would actually be really misogynist if you didn't think that it was funny, so. Okay. Now you have chosen a run the Jewels song. There are some parts there from Killer Mike, which I note have some, certain words in them. And you're just, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're th. You're just, you're thi, you're thi, you're thi, you're thi, you're thi, you're thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You, you, you're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're just just just just just to thi, you're just to to to thi, you're thi, you're thi. You're thi thi. You're thi. You're thi. thi. thi. You're thi, you're thi, you. There are some parts there from Killer Mike which I note have some certain words in them and you're just you're just gonna mumble your way through there? Yep. Or you're gone full, or you're gone full full slur. Again, you would be misogynist to not find anything that I'm singing funny or acceptable. Okay. Very good. And we're also here with Mr. Andrew Law. Now he's got a 14-minute-long rock opera about why no one finds him funny because of political

correctness gone mad. And there's absolutely no jokes in that at all, Andrew, is that right? I think society in the mainstream media is the real joke here. You know, what I laugh at every day when I get out of bed in the morning, I'm ha ha, and you can tell them having fun with it. Yeah, I'm not mad. Nobody here thinks I'm mad. They think what I'm doing is really funny. That was laughing, but that's because like my comedy is to be taken seriously seriously. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No thi. No thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. No thi. thi. No th. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I I I I I I I I's th. I I I I I I's th. I I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm it's to be taken seriously because it's it's serious it's about a serious concept but it's very funny. Very funny and we all agree. Yep we all agree. And also with us of course is the Mr. Tom Cardi wonderful man. Now you've actually brought like an original song that you made up all by yourself it's got like a catchy beat

it's got like some really funny lyrics in it. It's racist against the French. Yeah. Ticking all of the boxes and I kind of wish that I'd actually remembered to do any of those things because it's kind of making us look like shit. No, if you got to, if there's one thing you got to remember is you got to make fun of one group. And what group the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi. thi. thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's th. It's th. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the the th. It's the th. It's the the the the the the the. It's racist. It's racist. It's racist. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the group better than the French. What group are they? Like you said before we start recording about the Dutch, the French certainly had it too good for too long. Oh yeah. What are they going to do? Throw a little riot and burn all their own stuff again? How does that affect me? Man I'm going to say I've like lived in a musical comedy world for now, I think about seven, eight months, like heavily, and I only now have realized how shit musical comedy is. I've completely turned to a lot of time.

I tuned it all out for some reason, just that I realized, oh, what the fuck have I've been doing with my life? You've been doing good musical comedy though. Yeah, no, that's going to be... I think that's like a bit of a distinction. You're kind of exploring and kind of almost unexplored space. You take musical comedy and you've made it good. Yeah. Well, thank you for that.

I appreciate that. Tell my mom that. Okay. I will, I will. What, I will, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I th. th. th. th. th. think, th. th. th. think, th. th. think, th. th. th. that's, that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I think you have my mom's number. Let's not joke around here, Theo. Let's not joke around I said. I was, I was, so of course Tom, you, you've just recently put out your EP, Artificial Intelligence. It is on, where do we get that? Oh, you can check it out anywhere. Spotify, it's on Bandcamp, it's on Deezer. I like to call that Deezer My Nuts.'s a little fun thing. That's a silly joke. Then you can get it on Apple music or the Amazon music. You go on to YouTube. You can, you can cut me off whenever you want. So like, okay, we're gonna just be tripping over at all places. Yeah. But it was a bit, I was, I got in there, I checked out the track list and I was absolutely fuming that fucking just we fatigue fatigue tip tip tip tip th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi the the. Just the. Just the. We're thi. I theateat-I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm just, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. t. t. t. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. t. toge. toge. toge. toge. th. th. and I was absolutely fuming that fucking Just Sweet Fatigue hadn't made it onto the album. What is going on there, Tom? I know, well it's a short song because I fit a lot of racism into about one and a half

minutes and I thought it wasn't, I want to extend it for, I do have plans. Perfect for its economy. Yeah, because if French people was able to get died after two minutes of racism against themselves. I will put it out, but I just realized I have to extend it. And that, you know, that song is actually, and I'm sure the people listening have no idea what the actual song, it's based off a true story, which is a person to message me on Instagram and said, hello, and I said, hello, this is at a point of time where I was like really excited. I'm obviously still very excited, look at me, but I was like every message I was like, oh, I was like, oh, I was like, oh, I was like, oh, you're going to be my best frowns, and I

was like, you're to speak French? And I said, oh, no, it's a speckled. And I was like, can you're tranjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj, can't, can't, can't, can't, can't, can't, can you, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, use, I can use Google translate to English and say, nah, it makes me tired, too tired. I was like, you're getting immortalized in one of my shit songs, you piece of French. Makes me too tired. Of course it is, it is very funny to be a group of monolingual people laughing at. Yeah, which is anyone else here, but it's one language for me, not that good at it. Because I remember when you were being racist against one of the Nordic people, let's say Sweden. Me? Yeah, it sounds like me. And yeah, someone was like, oh, can the monolinguists just shut the fuck up for a while,

please, or something like that. It was very good, because they've got us, they've got us pegged. They do. They put a lot more effort into talking to us and we've been nothing but dicks about it. But also, they're extremely white and too close to the poll. Yeah, shout out to the pole. Yeah, way up there. Yeah. Shout out to our European listeners are Dutch listeners who just kind of roll with it. It's very nice of them.

They understand. They understand what's going on. They know how freaky their theme parks are. They know that they're eating too many French fries. Dutchfying them. I like the Dutch because they put those little pancakes and they make them little coastisized and waffle guys, you know those? Puffeties? Puffeties. Oh is that? I've been calling them strupe waffles. Oh, strip waffles.

Oh, strip waffles are the little of the little waffles with like caramel in a good caerfewa fifty waffles. I'm like what the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thsoc. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th. Ca, thi, th. C' is th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Ca, thi. Ca, thi. Ca, thi. Ca, thi. Ca. thi. thi. thi.aaaaaaaaa'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a Peferties? Uh, that's, that's just like the little, little, little sort of fluffy pancakes that they make in the sort of big, big, big dishes that have lots of little, yeah, they just, blu-loop, they just drop little guys in there. Give them to you put some powdered sugar on that, maybe I like the Dutch now. That's the Dutch. Maybe. th th th th th th th th th th th th th. Maybe I th th th. Maybe I th th. Maybe I th th th. Maybe I th. Maybe I that that that that that that that they they they that they they that, I that, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're that. Maybe, that. Maybe, that, that that, that, that, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I like, maybe like, maybe, if they can get through one year, one year, no blackface controversies, no deaths from falling into a canal while you're drunk and trying to piss. And... What else are they having to trouble with? No new racist theme park attractions. Oh yeah, yeah. What else are they having in trouble with?

No new racist theme park attractions. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You ask too much, Andrew. I do. And craziest of all, I'm asking for it from this country. You know? I mean, who are we to point the finger? That's right, a podcast. Someone's got to do it.

Someone's got to point the finger. So we have all been hugely enjoying Tom's album. I don't know about anybody else on the show right now, but I bought it from Bandcamp, paid money for it. Yes. Yeah, that's a good idea. Thank you so much. Lucy. Did you buy my album? Yeah.

Yeah. I definitely know how to use band camp. What's your favorite song on my album, Lucy? It's the one where the titles are all like slurs, so I can't say them from the poppy. You understand. You understand. I get you. I mean, tell me about it.

Hard to play your song on Triple J when it's all just a bunch of slurs, am I right guys? P. O.C. incorrect incorrect incorrect, th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to to to to th. to th. to to to th. I to. I to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm to th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to to to th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I th. I th. I are. I are. I are. I are. I are. I are. I are. I are. I are. I are. I are. I are. I are. I are. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. I. I. C. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. slurs, am I right guys? P.O.C. gone incorrect. Fuck. That's right. P.O.C. gone incorrect. I don't know what the things are. Give me a break. How much you get, how much you get for a play on Spotify? Just, do you know, like, what one of those bad boys are? Let's do the reverse math. That money comes into the bank. Per 100 plays, you know? Yeah. It goes like this, between four and five grand for a million plays, US.

So who is the human calculator? Because I would know one of you nerds are. That's bad. That's the O. It's the O. That's the O. How many zeros, that's too many. It's not a lot. Well, it depends. They always say, oh, we put it on.

Have you guys heard of the band, Wolfpeck? No. Yes. Yes. They're very fun. They did this thing where they, with their audience, their members, not their band members, their audience and the people following them to just put their album which was literally silence,

every track was three minutes of silence, and on repeat just while they were sleeping. And they made about 30 grand before their toy, and shut it down. How nice is that? It is nice. It is nice. So it worked out you get half a cent per plate. Nice. So don't spend it all at once. Thanks very much. I, uh, I, I, uh, I, I have a lot of followers make from tick tock and I was like, um,

I'm interested to know this. And so they were saying, what does a person with a million followers on TikTok make? And their parents very, very disappointed. Yeah, they had like one girl who, I don't know what she did like life, lifestyle stuff or something. And I was saying, oh, so per promoted post, she charges like anywhere between 8 and $20,000. Oh. But that's not from TikTok, right? This is a person... They're the sponsors. This is a person with, their their their their their their th, very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very disappointed, very disappointed, very disappointed, very disappointed, very disappointed, very, very, very very disappointed, very very disappointed, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very very very, very very very, very very very very very, very very very, very very very very very very very, very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very, very very very very very very very, very very very, very very very, very, very very, very very very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very disappointed, very, very disappointed, very disappointed, very disappointed, very, very disappointed, very disappointed, very, very disappointed, very, very, very disappointed, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,000 and $20,000. But that's not from TikTok, right? This is a person.

It's one of the sponsors. This is a person with a million followers. One can only imagine what that's generating in terms of like cumulative views of their Tick Tocks. And they're like, this person gets about $250 a month from the TickTock Creators Fund. How much money did you say? I completely, I was looking at your cool hat. Like $250 a month. Oh.

For having a million followers and one can only assume like millions of views a month. Why are you getting $250 a month? Because I live under the Southern Cross and Australia doesn't allow that sort of thing. I checked. I said, I said, Mr. Tick. I was a thick. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, thi. $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $, I, I, I, I, I, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, like, like, I, I, I, I, I, like, I, I, I, like, I, I, like, like, like, like, th. $. $. $. $. $. $. $. $. $. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. to. to. to. th. th. to. to month time. Because I live under the Southern Cross and Australia doesn't allow that sort of thing. I checked. I said, I said, Mr. Tick Tock, I went, knock, knock, Mr. Tick Tock. I went, I went, Tick Tock, Mr. Tick Tock. Mr. Tick Tock. He said, he's an enormous clock with a big mustache. He said, yes, he't do that in Australia. And I said, fine, I'm just going to sell my soul to the first Viagra company that comes my way.

That's right. Fuck you, Mr. Tick-sell those vibrators, baby. Oh my god, I've got so many vibrators. They're just, they're just falling out of my their to' scri. their to'n't tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' thin' thin'e. I's thin'e. I's thin'e. I'e'e'e'e'e'er. I'e'er. I'er. I'er. I'm thin'er. I'm just th'er. I'er. I'er. I'er. I'er. I'er. I'er. I'er. I'er. I'er. I'er. I'er. I'er. ttttttttttttttttttttttttthea. tttthea. tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttsoo'e'e'e'e'lipe'e'n'n'e'e'e'lipe'e'e'e'e'e'e'e'e'e'er. tobuu. tobu. It's tough because they don't actually send you shipping containers. I gotta put him up my butt and then I gotta walk. I am essentially a shipping container. I gotta stamp my own head. You are, you knock on somebody's door, they open up and you say hello. And then you're, hang on a second. You just gotta try and, you know, they gotta wait a little while sometimes. Yeah. They're just thin' to to to thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' their their their their their their' their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin, the. I' tape. I' tape. I'm tape. I'm essentially tape. I'm tape. I'm the. I'm essentially the. I'm essentially the. I'mthat's beautiful. We absolutely love to see it.

It's one thing we did want to happen, but sometimes something happens and it's one thing that we didn't want to happen. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. Just like it says, what a segue. So, this is from from Vice the world's most reputable publication. Just gonna let that stand, you know, we're all gonna act like that's true. The fastest accelerating roller coaster in the world has been suspended until further notice after multiple customers reported broken bones from the ride has been suspended until further notice, after multiple customers reported broken

bones from the ride. That's not... I don't think it's supposed to do that. Like... Just from a... I don't know how much further again and again this story, but just shooting from the hip here. I don't think a roller coaster should break all your bones. Ideally not, but like how fast do you want to go on the roller coaster. I'm I th, I th, I th, I the the th, I the th, I the th, I the th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I don't, I don't, I don't th think, I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' think, I don't, I don't, I don't, I throw, I than, I than, I than, I than, I than, I than, I than, I than, I th an th an th an th an th an th an th an th an than, I than, I thin, I thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin fast do you want to go on the roller coaster. Yeah, I'm going to my devil's advocate there because I'm thinking it you get it on a roller coaster

and it's the fastest ever. I don't come away with a broken bone. I'd be like they're all fast. It could be faster, technically, yeah. I want to be in a jelly-like state whenever the other. Oh, that's the dream. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the dream. the dream. that's that's that's their. that's their. that's their. their. that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. th. I'm be able to figure out like which parts of which bones go together to try and mend them Ideally. Since December, the leaf six riders sustained bone fractures after writing Doudodonpa, a roller coaster that goes at quote super death speed

in Japan's popular Fuji Q Highland Park. Oh it's Japanese all right there you go. Okay all right. I've got weak bones. Well because they didn't get dairy until whenever right. Exactly I've been last week. Taken a taken a while to fill through eating a lot of chocolate before I go on the roller coaster. Four of them said they broke their neck or back. A spokesman for the park told vice world news. The incidents alerted to authorities on August 17th are baffling officials. Oh, everybody's...

It would be anything. They could have been broken before you started, we don't know. Lucy, are you a theme park gal? Do you like the rides? I do like the rides. Um, are you trying to push me to say I'm like a Disney woman? No, I think we already knew that. Because I remember Andrew, you and Ben, you don't like roller coasters.

I'm anti-rides. Anti-rides. Anti-Rolocaster? Anti-Rolocaster. I said anti-rides. I don't... I don't... What about like, Scooby-doo!

Scozy, sco-s! Sco-coaster, I'm a tacup ride. It wasn't the simplest teacup ride. It had- Tcup rides are bullshit. Oh pardon me? Street out the gate. What do you say? They suck? They suck. They suck. They suck. They're they suck or they're bullshit and they suck. They're they make you sick. They're gross. They make you sick. They make they make you they make you they make you they make you they make they make they make you sick. They make you sick. They make you sick. They make you sick. They make they make they make they make they make they make they make they're they're they're they're they're sick. They make they make they make they they they're sick. They're sick. They make they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're sick. They're they're they're sick. They're sick. They're they make they make they make they're sick. They're sick. They're they make. They're they make. They're they make. They're they make they're, we're all agreeing that the teacup ride is bad. It's bad from top to bottom. It's a, you get, I don't know. What did do to poor, poor young Tom? It just made me cry a little bit. I was about, I was older than you think, whatever you think of me crying on a teacup ride is, out about three years to it. I embarrass. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. th. that, that, that, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. It, th. It, the, th. It, the, the, the, the, the, th, they, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, theadsoas and his friends. Oh, that's no good. I went to, like, I want to say the Camber Show or something like that, when I was a teenager with a girl that I liked and we went on a roller coaster and then I, and then I got off

and I vomited into a bin in front of my little high school date. Oh, okay, so this is all trauma related. No no for me for me it is simply the fact that as the elder statesman of this podcast I've become very old and I have reached a point in my life where I simply do not want to be whipped around at any kind of speed. Oh God disagrees with me greatly. That's the last I mean I I reckon I've got like my bones and stuff they're all going to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to the the to the to the to be the the the the to be the the the the the the the the the the their their their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their their their their their. their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I their. I the the the the th th. I th. th. th. the. te. te. te. te. te. te. th. th. th. th. th. the. the the. the. bones and stuff they're all going to be fucked up right for a reason so it may as well be fucked up from like a roller coaster or something right yeah maybe I mean I've been I'm always just gonna be sitting in front of like the computer going mmm into into a

word processor my arm hurts from gaming oh I've been seen I've been seeing videos of the the milk crate challenge and people falling from like Yeah what is that? Yeah what is that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that that that that that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I've been seeing videos of the the milk crate challenge and people falling from like... Yeah, what is that? So from what I can gather... Take us through the latest site, Andrew. From what I can gather of the several TikToks that I've seen that someone has screen recorded and then put on through Twitter.

The Waw is how we can see more. I can see more. A connoisseur. So it appears to be a series of columns of milk crates that have all been stacked up so that one is higher than the next and then it comes back down. There's a peak in the middle. But because they're not staggered or anything that they are columns, it means that I guess they're getting less stable the stable stable stable stable stable stable stable stable stable stable stable stable stable stable stable stable the the the the the the the the the the the that they are columns. It means that I guess they're getting less stable the higher up you get. And then you have to walk down the other side. And this of course immediately turned into the variance like, I saw one that was a hood Olympics type thing

of a guy who walked from the bottom to the top and back down while rolling a blunt the whole time. Some cross fit piece of shit walking up one and like doing weights. And the the the the the the the the the the the the the the weights. And the weights. And the weights. And the weights. And the the the th. And the th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And thing thi. And thi. And th. And th. And thi. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And th. And then th. And then. And th. And then. And then. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thea. And then. And then. And then. And the top and back down while rolling a blunt the whole time. Some cross fit piece of shit walking up one and like doing weights and eating a meal. You know, but... Can I say this entire thing sounds like how people in the 30s and 40s found entertainment from like people climbing up buildings dressed up as flies. Yeah. Then I saw a guy walk up something and then he walked back down.

Yeah. It was incredible. And a train nearly ran into me. Yeah. Ah. Oh. But I've also seen one or two little videos of like someone being at the top of like someone being at the top of, of, uh, milk crates. And I don't know how many there is the the there there there there there there there there there there there there there the there there the there the the there there the there the there the there the the the top of the peak of milk crates.

And I don't know how many there is at the top there, like maybe 10 or 12 them or something. That's a lot. Yeah, and someone's just walked over and kicked the little column while they're on it. And so what happens is the column just comes out and the guy turns sideways and falls all the way back down to the ground, except he lands like with his midsection on one empty milk crate.

Like that guy that lands on the like the concrete barrier in the raid? You know the one I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah. So um, so yeah. For sure, dude. You know that sick video with the guy in the raid that we've all seen? Let's let's give Theo a break. He's describing a movie that he's seen. Yeah, I've seen it twice.

So like, yeah, as an old guy now, I see a video like that and I go, I would be in hospital for three months. See, I like it. That's like the revival of the jackass behavior that we all did in the mid-2000s or whatever. You know when you were just like push your friend in a bush and that was like the best thing you could ever do that. You know, next day. Somebody made me think of, somebody would stack a lot of people on top of one person. Boy, someone could have died.

Yeah, like it's pretty shocking that nobody ever like popped an organ or anything, you know? Is that how organs work? I think if you lean on them hard enough, it's probably going to go. Wow. Everything's got it the popping point. Yeah, sure. But do remember, like breaking a disc and a guy's back in primary school? What? Pardon me?

It was at a after school care. Good. Were you teaching at the time? Just drop kicking kids across the gymnasium. Did you whip him with a non-shuck? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? I? Yeah? I? Yeah? I? Yeah? I? Yeah? I? Yeah? Yeah? I? Yeah? I? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? I? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the time? Just drop kicking kids across the gymnasium. I was I was in total of primary school would have been in I don't know you have five or six or something no five or six or something no it must have been early in that and a match that they would have for for gym type stuff and I like there was one of those and I was standing next to it and a guy pushed over one that

was standing up next to it onto me so that I got sandwiched between the two crash mats and then he jumped on top of it. And I went, ah! And much like the incredible Hulk, I stood up and went, Wuh! and pushed this thing off me, and the guy went with it and fell backwards and hit the brick wall behind him. And I went, owned or whatever you would say at that point. And then later on, it was just like, oh yeah, that guy shattered some disc in his back while doing.

One more, one more, and then we've got to go back to the fucking rollercoats. Just quickly, I just want to quickly just say, I guess that guy fought the law and the law won. That's right. It wasn't the first time. Wasn't the last, not that guy. Just a series of small personal victories throughout my life is what we're describing. In year one I had a crush on a girl. And we were a, we had th, we had th, we had th, we had th, we had th, we had th, we had th, we had th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, they, their, the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't, their, their, their, their, they. they. the, that, wasn't, that, that, wasn't, thou. that, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't thoooooooooomorrow, wasn't, wasn't their, wasn't their, wasn't the school. It was like sand on the bottom and then it's like, you climb up it and, you know, it's like wooden fort, it was cool guys. And I feel like the story's gonna go so well for you.

It's gonna go really well for me. And I'd been like doing like flips on my trampoline lately, so I'm like, hey, I've got a cool thing to show you. And so I ran th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, the that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, like, that, that, that, that, that, you, and so I ran off the fort to try and do a flip, but I only really got like halfway around and I just landed flat on my back on the sand and completely winded myself for like five minutes and I just lay there and go, uh-huh, ha ha ha! It goes love her when you do that. Show vulnerability. Can I just, I know you said one more before.

I just got a real, real quick one. One time I used to do sprinting at the, our like athletics carnival amongst like five schools. I walked across a long jump, warm up track right in front of all five schools and the guy who was running across, bold me over. I was in year seven, he was in year 12. And can you imagine five schools, boys' schools going, A-Haw! I got the biggest bono right then and there,

and I haven't looked back. Oh, and at that point, shame was just cemented into some part of your brain. So, built in 2001, the roller coaster goes from 0 to 180 kilometers per hour in 1.56 seconds. It sounds healthy. It sounds like good for your body. So, when I, so I've actually been to this theme park. We managed to get to Japan like a few years ago, and I was like, reading through all the rides and going like, oh, that sounds cool. I got to this one. I read that, I read that, like, that's a th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the. thee. the. the. the. thee. the. the. thee. the. the. to, the. to, to, the. th. to get to Japan like a few years ago and I was like reading through all the rides and going like, oh that sounds cool, that sounds cool. I got to this one, I read that like snippet. Oh, well.

Well, that might be too fast. But I can't tell anybody. It was closed for maintenance. Oh, that's really more of a saved. You'll never know how many of your bones could have gone. Oh, look, I'm the most breakable man, so probably all of them. Mr. Glass over here. So this makes it the fastest accelerating roller coaster in the world. But the park said it was the first time riders had broken their bones on the ride since it went into operation two decades ago.

Hmm. So just awoke with a hunger, like all of a sudden. The ride has gained sentience. These bones. In 2017, the ride was even modified to bring the top speed from 172 kilometers to the top speed from 172 kilometers to 180. Yeah, so that'd be it, that'd be the thing probably that is creating the extra bone crunches. You would think so, but the park said there were no reports of serious injuries. Not the regular kind of stuff you get from being thrown around in that speed. Until December,

no technical issues were found upon initial investigation according to Fugike Highland. The rides manufacturing company, Sansa Technologies, apologized to the injured customers, but said it also didn't know what caused the injuries. I'm sorry for what happened to you, whatever it was. Po'body's nerve-efficed, etc. Anything could have happened to you on the high-speed death roller coaster, you know, we can't be sure that you didn't hurt yourself in a different way. I don't speak Japanese but I would love to know the translation for Japanese for I don't know.

Hmm? Hey, mm-hmm. I don't want to go on the right. I'm just gonna say it. I don't want to go on the right. I do. I'm built different. I still want to go on the right. I still want to go on the right. I still want to go on the right. I'm to to go. I'm to go. I to go. I to go. I to go. I to go. I to to go. I to go. I to to to to to go. I to to to go. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built built built built built built built built built built built built built built built built built to to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go the to go to go to go. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built. I'm built to to to the to the the to the the to the to the the to the the to the to the the to the the to to the to the the the to the on the ride, actually. I don't. I'm not having it. I feel like all of my inner ear stuff would come leaking out somehow. I feel like Lucy would go on the ride and also eat that puffer fish that is like one in ten chance of like killing you. And also be like doing that knife thing with her hands where you're like you're cutting it between. Yeah, for sure. She is built different after all.

Thank you. He's got that extra hand. Well you're not meant to tell the listeners that Tom but I guess we didn't discuss this beforehand. Sorry. An audio formal. A roller coaster that takes place on a big line? No. Hmm. Yeah. Track is a kind of line and also we need to check in with the Bonte Vista hotline. 1,803,17, 5,5, that's the Bontovista hotline. 1,803, 1,7, 5,5, that's the Bontovista hotline. 1, 800, 3, 1,17, 5, 5, 5, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that's, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,. 1,8003.1175. That's the Boltonvista hotline. You can send us an email.

Mail back at Bolsivista.com, maybe DM us on Twitter. You could even message Facebook. We don't really check the Facebook. Yeah. 8003175.5. That's the Buntavista hotline. 1,8003175. That's the Buntavista hotline. That's the Muntivista hotline. Makes me so sick that you're talented, dude. Oh, it's... Look. Yeah, I hate it. We all got to live with it.

But we also, look, we can't be having this kind of conversation in front of. Like, we got an actual musician on the show. Okay. Be cool. I respect you so much. There's nothing you can do for me for to for to for to for to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to lose to to to lose to to to lose to to to to to to. Oh, you know that. I popped the biggest bono right there and there. Oh, there you go. That's lost. Never looked back.

Very nice. Now we're talking about me, Andrew. My machine gun Kelly covers in my bedroom. You are well on board with the pop punk version of Machine Gun Kelly, right? Yes. I was trying to make a joke that seemed like I was, I thi. I thi. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me to me to me to me to me. I to me. I'd to be. I'd to be a to be a to me. to be a to be a to be a to be a to be to be to lose. to lose. to lose. to lose. to lose. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to lose. I was, to to to me to me to me the the the the thi. I was, thi. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. thoooooo. thean. thooooo. thean. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was trying to make a joke that seemed like I was I thought it was really lame so let's move on. Instead just a pause and a little dose of honesty yes. So we need to address something in the lyrics of the Buntavist hotline song which is that we did check the Facebook and we had received

some messages from a wonderful listener who was asking us to help did check the Facebook and we had received some messages from a wonderful listener who was asking us to help them with a proposal, marriage proposal. Crazy, crazy stuff. We did that on our previous bonus episode. So for anybody who did listen to that and was wondering, he said yes. He said yes. Amazingly he said yes to that and was wondering, he said yes. He said yes. Amazingly he said yes to a proposal. Somebody dubbing like a happy audience kind of sound.

I live it on Buntavista. Yeah, that's right. When you think about it. Our listeners find happiness. Could be related. Correlation, causation, you'd never know. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I think, can we take tak, can tak, can't tak, can't thak, can't th think can we take full responsibility for the relationship from conception to marriage?

Yes. Yes. Yes. And we intend to do it. So if you need help proposing to the significant other, I don't know, that can't all happen on this podcast, maybe find, I don't know. There could be some other podcasts to send something into surely. I'll do one. Heck, throw a few my way. There go. So, uh, we're that. That that. That that. That that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. That th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. th. th. th. th. th. Yes. Yes. th. Yes. th. th. Yes. th. th. Yes. th. Yes. th. th. th. Yes. th. th. th. Yes, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that th. th. th. th. th. could be some other podcasts to send something into, surely. I'll do one. Heck, throw a few my way. There you go. So we're passing the proposal baton to Tom Carty. Yeah, you gotta be my friend though. I'd come over sometimes if I do that for you. You gotta do something for me. Hmm. That's very true.

Little quid pro quo. Yeah, but depends what you do If like you are someone who maybe flies planes for a living, maybe I get to go and have a look at your plane. Yeah. Yeah. Lucy, how are the flying lessons going? They've been cancelled for like five weeks in a row because of the weather. Going good. I've forgotten everything. Yep. You've learned how to not fly when it's too windy though. That's right. I think they should just let me give it a go to be quite honest. You know, just have a bash. Let's these don't make good sailors.

Let me up there. Oh, and then if it goes really bad you can just go hands off and say, you're the flying instructor. Yeah, hey, hey, aren't you a fucking professional? Yeah, that'd be fun. Sounds like a you problem, you say, start to look at your phone. Just holding the microphone really close because I don't work very well. Sounds like a you problem. Yes, when you're up there and you see the dark clouds, the lightning on the horizon, you know that you're in for some dark thau fu dark thau fu dark the dark the dark the dark the dark the dark the dark the dark the dark the dark the dark the dark the dark the dark clouds, the lightning on the horizon. You know that you're in for some dark omens.

You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon. And you shall know that God is God, and bow down to his will. Folks, this segment is called Omen's Importance. That was an incredible pitch you just hit there. Folks, I've seen this, have you heard about this? Sharp, I'm doing it in a podcast with Axel Rose right It was sharp, I'm doing it in a podcast with Axel Rose right now, my. It's the segment for Spooky News.

If you are easily frightened, skip ahead news. If you are, if you are, I'm sorry to the time. Yes. It's a mature podcast for grownups. This from 9 News. Mystery Puddle. I really like that in this headline, Mystery is in quotes, but not the rest of it. Mystery puddle keeps growing despite sunshine and no rain. Counselor says it's not pineapple juice.

That raises a few questions. Let's see if we can get into it here. The mystery surrounding a UK puddle. Got a lot going on in that country down there. We've got our best people on the puddle. We've got our best boffins. All the finest coats on everybody's crowded around the puddle. The mystery surrounding a UK puddle which formed with no rain and glaring sunshine deepens, with tests no closer to identifying the source of the liquid.

I don't like that at all. At one stage, the local council believed it could have been pineapple juice, but test determined that was not the case. What kind of test you reckon they did? I think it was a little dip. A little dip in the taste. Because you don't like if it's bad stuff, you don't want to have too much of it in your mouth, you know.

But, um, quick, maybe even a sniff, because like pineapple juice is pretty... Yeah, pretty a identifiable odor. That's usually one of my first moves as an owner of a pet and a child is to like, if there's a puddle, you've got to get right down there and give that bad boy a sniff. Yeah, that's true. Find out what you're dealing with. Yeah, and that's going to determine the next course of action, obviously. Yeah, it determines if you're moving on to tasting or not. Yeah, well sometimes it doesn't, you know, it doesn't show up in your initial test, so you have to go to round, round two. Getting all my scientific gear out at home, my nose, my fingers. Next comes the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoomeck. thoomeck. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoome. theat. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's.the tongue. The puddle formed in the town of Cowdenbath. Sure. In West Fife, Scotland at the start of August. It is growing despite warm summer weather. What do you reckon their idea of warm summer weather is?

Oh, cold. 12 degrees and cloudy, right? Yeah, yeah. Anytime. When they say it's a puddle forming in the town, where is it forming? Is it like... Town square. Okay. Like middle of Main Street, I reckon. Everybody's starting to swerve around it as it gets bigger on the road. I'm starting to formulate a bit of a hypothesis, I'm imagine me is the sort of Scottish Sherlock Holmes right

now. I don't want to say too early though I'm maybe I'll please go on. Okay we'll give you some time to gather a bit more data. Yes please. Hmm. Local counselor Darren Watt took to Facebook now you know he's serious and vowing to find out the cause. He says the leak is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the is theck is thi. S. S. Scoshes s' th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. Scoshe. S. S. Scoshe. S. Sschole. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. t. S. S. t. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. t. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S Darren Watt took to Facebook, now you know he's serious, vowing to find out the cause. He says the leak is posing a quote outgoing issue to the community. Okay. Quote, although this is a very localized... Hmm, that's not right. Although this is a very localized, it is a concern for a number of nearby residents, he writes. His typo? Maybe. I will continue to work with Fife Council, Scottish Water and SEPA to resolve, and I will be sure to share any updates or significant developments.

Earlier in the month, Mr. Watt said, test determined the liquid was not pineapple juice. Are all the tests just about whether or not it's pineapple juice? Well you gotta get that out of the way first, right? Like everyone's clamoring just being like it's obviously pineapple juice. Um, I, the, what's that Shakespearean quote? The man doth protects too much. It's It's pineapple juice. Clearly pineapple juice. Yeah, if they're like, if they're thetetetetetetetetetetetetetetetetetet, if th. th. th. th if they're like if they like coming out and being like and it wasn't pineapple juice, believe us. We've checked. 100% pineapple juice. What possible reason could they have thought

that it was pineapple juice in the first place? Well here's the explanation but for me it just raises more questions. 100% okay. Quote it was initially concluded that waste products such as pineapple juice was escaping from Graham's dairy and the problem was apparently quickly identified and rectified he wrote. Raising more questions than it's answering. Traditional dairy product pineapple juice. Waste product of dairy, pineapple juice. What's going on? In Scotland as well? Like Pena colata is not going down to treaty.

What are they treating their cows? Although their cumb tastes great. Ha ha ha! come tastes great. Oh boy, a burst pipe is thought to be responsible. Well, check that first. So you're telling me the puddle's getting bigger, but you can't see where it's coming from? Have we looked under the puddle? Nope. And we won't be. Quote, I've since been informed the liquid is escaping from a burst pipe, yet, somehow the puddle. Nope. And we won't be. Quote, I've since been informed the liquid is escaping from a burst pipe, yet somehow this wasn't noticed or picked up until

very recently by the Scottish Environment Protection Agency, Mr. Watt said, adding that the liquid, quote, is unlikely to pose any danger or risk to health. Well, you drink some then, you know. So it's not shit. If it's so safe. I've seen like one too many stories from the UK about just like mysterious goo appearing somewhere. Yeah. You know, just like a puddle of stuff that looks like it's from teenage mutant Ninja Turtles to Secret of the Oombs. But enough about British people, am I right? No, that's fair.

That's fair. I've seen them. I've seen them and it's fair. You just... I've seen their Prime Minister. What's up with that guy? Hey, what's up with his hair? What is going on? And so on.

Sorry, we used to be political. I'll just pull it back a bit. I'm just too in the habit of jumping right on a hot button political joke like that. Has anyone noticed that Boris Johnson looks like shit in the history of the world? Oh, I'm glad we don't talk about things like that anymore, so we don't have to either pick the side of Boris Johnson looks like shit or like the other half of people argue. He looks like shit, but it's actually a crafty strategy. He does it on purpose.

It's funny how we stopped doing that and nobody complained. For like a year and a half, nobody has complained. It's so good. That's fine. It's fine. Scams and... I think everyone at the same point just like gave up with us. They're just like, ah, fuck it.

It feels like it's the right time in the world to give up on that particular happening of your things. What if we just talked about scams and Scottish compotals instead? It's fine. Hey, I'd listen to the god damn podcast a bit more. Yeah, it's right. More Scottish Compoal content. Yeah. They've probably got a weird name for it. Speaking of scams, which we talk about all the time, this is scam watch. This is scam watch. Ben has helpfully produced an article for us here.

You may have noticed that Ben is absent from the podcast this week. You may have noticed it at exactly 40 minutes into the podcast that Ben is not here. But he did get a spit of material about a wonderful product from Kumuso designs. And they are selling a thing called The Shift. Now I'll need you to listen to this Tom and try and picture what you think this product might be. Okay. I'm already picturing the creators with the with the name Kumaso Designs. I know we're in for something traditional, respectful. Theo, I don't want to be rude, but Andrew asked me to think about it.

I'm thinking about something completely different. Okay, that's fine. I think everyone can think about different things. Lucy, what are you thinking about? That's not important. I'm just thinking about how you asked me if I had bought your songs on band cam. Yeah. I know you listening to the Bluntivista bonus episode. I don't see you in the Discord. I'm gonna go and check that. Yeah I'm not in the Discord because my username something a bit naughty and I don't want to say it out loud on this podcast but I'm definitely there. Trust me. All right. You won't be scratching the surface. Okay so Tom's picturing the creators and Lucy is feelinging. the the the the the the the the th. You th. You th. You th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to thi. I's to to to to to the disc. I'm to the discord. I'm to to the discord. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the discord. I to the discord. I the discord. I the discord. I the disc the disc the disc the disc the disc the disc the disc. I the the the th. I thi. I thi. I's thi. I's thi. thi. thi. the thi. the the the thi. the thi. the thi. the thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. the product, Theo's picturing the creators and Lucy is feeling

resentful. Yeah. The shift was created by Todd and Vanessa Steinberg, husband and wife team, that classic walking into the office together holding hands. Yeah. Love to pay marriage with business. I just remember when I used to work in like the public service and you get those people who had clearly like rearranged their whole lives so they live together and also work together in the same building.

Oh, that's a really upsetting thought. Well, then it's all, it always comes with the same look, which is the two of them walking into the building together, holding hands until they get into the lobby and then they have to let go. And they're both wearing their extremely middle-of-the-road corporate attire and the woman has her new balanced sneakers on which she will take off and replace with her other shoes once she gets to her desk. See I work in the same office as my wife because I work from home and so I get to see to to to to to to the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. I'm their. their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm not weckckeckluc. I'm noteckeckeckeckluc. I'm going. I'm noteckecklipecklip. Andecklip. And then. And then. And then. And then. And theire as my wife because I work from home. And so I get to see her every single day, and that's good to me. But if you don't want to see your life as often as that, I know that's fun. That's fine.

That's just true. I work in the same office as my two children right now. Andrew, I'm going to need you to take my nappy off at least five today before end of business please. Big cigar, boss baby style. That would be cooler for a baby who was a boss. All right, they don't, don't try and pitch me your fucking Disney ideas. But have they done it? Oh, oh! You know? Nice.

Yes, they have. Maybe this husband and wife team will do it. They are the co-founders of th thes of they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. B. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. th. th. th. th. th. T. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. That would th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. A th. A the. A the. A the. A the. A the. the. thi. the. the. thi. the. thi. thi. the. B. know? Nice. Yes, they have. Maybe this husband and wife team will do it. They are the co-founders of Komuzo design. They were both very stressed out and feeling disconnected. They knew they needed a change. They worked out, they ate right to no avail. They tried meditation, but it didn't work.

Sounds like you guys don't like each other. They started working with a therapist who suggested they try breathing through a straw to help slow their breath down. They tried it and were instantly surprised at how effective it was. Totten Vanessa began researching meditation tools and breathing tools and looking for more resources but were shocked to discover that no one was creating these much needed tools. Yeah, where the fa-fixi-theatatatatatation they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were they were they were they started they started they started they started they started they started they started they they started they started they started they started they started they started they started they started they started they started they started they started they started they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their th th the. I the. I try try try. I started try try try try try try try try try try. try try. I started try. I the. I the. I tools and breathing tools and looking for more resources but were shocked to discover that no one was creating these much needed tools. Yeah, where the fuck am I going to find a straw? There was very little guidance on how to make a habit of breathing better, let alone make it a simple, effective and practical thing. Soon after this initial discovery, they went to a local art market and

ran into a man selling 17th century Shakuhachi flutes. These flutes are used by comusome monks to blow Zen. They play the flutes and breathe and meditate to temporarily dissolve their egos. I've never met a floutest with a small ego, can I just say? After seeing the flutes, Todd and Vanessa had their, aha! exclamation mark, there's moment, and decided they were going to build the shift necklace to unite ancient wisdom with the modern science of breathing better, to give people a simple and practical tool. Bottom line, the shift helps you slow down your breath, which directly calms down your body's

response to stress and quiets your nervous system. Breathing better with the shift and some easy to follow steps will help reduce the feeling of anxiety after a few minutes. So what are you picturing at this point, Tom? I'm thinking like a tin flute on a necklace. Yeah, I'm picturing like a panflut. Is that what it is? Wouldn't that be good at Pamphle?

I think, uh... Is it's what it is? Wouldn't that be good at Pamphle? I think it was just a straw? Now, Tom's pretty much nailed it here. It is a little necklace and the necklace has a little metal straw on it basically. Just one, not like a tear beautiful panflut. No, no, no. Really? Remember, Lucy, the entire point of this is to remove ego, and I do love the idea of walking around with a big metal panflut on your name.

Just playing your loud pamphle. It's too Latin, those people are all ego. Oh what? Just roping in another continent. Geez, I mean I felt bad when I said Japanese people have weak bones, but... But yeah, cool. Uh, look, there has to be... Surely there's a reason they didn't make a pan flute. Instead, they have not even a flute, a little metal straw. I would just say I think we've got... There's only one member of the show that's on board with the anti-Latin racism at this stage stage....... to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to to thi. their to the. the. thi. their thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. their their their their their their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. thea. thea. thea., there's only one member of the show that's on board

with the anti-Latin racism at this stage, just to make everyone's position clear. Is it you? Are you saying it's weird? If we're, okay. That's cool. No, we're not. We're not. We're just trying to think about why you might not make it a pin. I don't like fun. I don't like fun.

Sure. So it's a whistle, like it's just a whistle. I don't know if you can make sound with it. No, I don't think it's a whistle. I think it's... That's just me out. It's literally, it's literally a little piece of metal and you go through it. You just blow. You just blow. You just blow. It's just blow. It's just blow. You just. It's you. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just. You. You. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. You just. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just blow. It's just, you just, you just, you just, you just. It's just. It's just. It's just. through the stroll. That's so awesome. Does it say how much it costs? Oh boy, it sure does. Please. Oh, I'm so ready. Now you can buy the the shift for him. Oh, they have a gender as well. They're gendered. Ah, yes. You have the shift for him available in two colors. Inc. Bole chain. Shop now from 112 US dollars. Oh! What are the... What are the... What are the fucking colors? I'll find the colors. I don't think we've got those. There is also the shift for her available in four colors. Sexist. All right, it's very sexist. I'm not approving of that at all. The quality is four colors for everyone, you know?

Includes 28-inch cable chain, different chain. Shop now from $112. Now helpfully, from the frequently asked questions in the documentation here, one of these questions is, why do the products have a gender? Is there a biggest straw for a man's mouth and then a little one for the ladies? Also, woo. Our challenges that we have so many questions from men who only think the necklace is for women, meaning these prospective customers, that's how you want to talk about, about people

that you're claiming to help with your meditative device. Our big bags of money. Yeah, walking sacks with dollar signs on them. This means these prospective customers would simply pass us by. Thinking that the necklace wasn't designed for them. You wouldn't want them to think it was a woman's jewelry item. Although we are striving for a more inclusive brand that represents our shared view of gendering.

We also don't want to hold everyone to the same shared view of gendering. We also don't want to hold everyone to the same evolved standard for gender. No, no, no, no, some women, obviously we all know women can't breathe as well as men, so we don't want to assume that they're going to be doing that by giving them a straw that's for a little muscular mouth, potentially with a mustache attached to it. I, look, I'm not going to lie. I I I I I I'm that that that that that that that that that that that that thage. I'm not that that th. th. th. thus thus thus that thus, I'm not that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's their their thusususususus. thatheus. to have to have to have their to have their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. I will will will will, too. I will, tooe. I will will, tooe. I'll toee. I'll toe. I'm toe. toe. too. the. thache attached to it. I, look, I'm not going to lie, I really hope that one of the four colors is pink. That would be very funny. You're close.

You're really close. Rose gold? 100%? Okay, so those colors in the, in the male tin whistle comes in silver shift, soilet, so, slate shift, so silver and slate. And for a limited time only, you're going to get it in gold shift, which comes with a luxe box chain, shipping mid-July for only $189 US dollars. Now, for the ladies, we have a slate shift at $1190. We've got silver shift at $147.

We've got that gold shift at $161, which is less than the male one for summary. I'm not even going to start making fucking change. Oh, because of luxe chain. Okay. So, I got that luxe chain. And we've got rose gold shift for $161 as well. Again, I don't really understand the difference between the product here. So they're on slightly different chains and fuck knows. That's it. Do you guys think that... You could just tape a straw to a chain? Like for free. Well hang... But it's not it's not as easy as that Lucy because there's a lot

of the nuance to it. I as easy as that Lucy because there's a lot of there's a little nuance to it I'm just reading the frequently asked questions here. Do you offer a breathing tool for kids? So they haven't. Quick answer, they're not quite there yet. They've been developing a special youth version of the necklace because so many parents and educators have been reaching out with similar questions. No, no they're not. Um, why is the shift so expensive?

For a second there, I thought that they'd written their own frequently asked questions because they were so stupid. Yeah. That one's like, yeah, potentially. It's so good. So the first is that they use high quality grade of... Hold on that, that is an actual question. That.. I. they. They they. They they. They they. They're not. They're not. They're they. They're they. They're not. I I I they're they're not. They're not. They're they're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're they're they're they're they're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're they're not. They're they're they're not. They're not. They're not. They're they're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're they're not. They're they're they're not. They're they're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're yeah potentially. It's so good so the first is that they use high quality grade of three-hold- that that is an actual question. That is a literal I'm reading it word-for-word. It's a three-on grade of three-16 stainless steel it bakes the precious metal colors all the way through the piece through a proprietary process. Sure sure. We use recycled metal, necklace, something, fucking. I don't know, man.

You can... It's all aesthetic. You can get one of the... You can get one of the, like, you know, the old, fuck, metal straws from the milkshake thing. And just hacks all that baby down. 100% here's another one. Just breathe slowly.

Mmm. You're at hungry jacks. You get in your fourth Yombo of the day. Grab a big handful of straws. That's you set for the week. Yeah. What do I do when the 16-year-old Yumbo employee comes running after and goes, yeah, that's too many straws. You rip about a quarter of one of the straws off because they're all paper now.

And you hand that to him and you say, look, what you're going to want to do is just pop that bad boy in the end of your mouth, breathe, breathe slowly, it'll help restrict your your breathing. Calm down. Oh yeah, what am I doing working here? Oh boy. Yeah, I do think you could just maybe breathe, because like, if you want to use one of these straws, so they look like they're, they look like they probably say,

I don't know, do you think like a half the sort of diameter of like the straw you'd get to go in your can of coke, you know? They look a bit, I think so. They're two inches, they're two inches long. I don't know whether... But they, but, you know, it looked relatively small. But the thing is, in order to use it, right, you have to put it into your mouth and thento make a seal around it. So what if what if you did that and then you just pop the straw back out of there? Your mouth is now the right shape to restrict that amount of air going through you know that's a life hack right there going through. Yeah that's a life hack. That's a life hack. That's a life hack. Drop your 160 dollars for the first one so you can get an idea of how small the house should be and then you know you can pass it around

your friends. Pass it around to your family. Not your children though. It's not made for children just yet. Not for children. It's not for children. But you know in this time of uncertainty, global pandemic everybody's very stressed about you know you're gonna want to pop that thing in your mouth and then just circulate it through the neighborhood.. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. th. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. everybody gets gets their lips wrapped around that bad boy. That's getting your money's worth. You know? So further explaining why they are gendering the products. We don't want to hold everyone to the same evolved standard for gendering, you fucking imagine.

Imagine trying to say to another person, my standard of gendering is simply more evolved than yours. What do they even mean by that? Because I mean I'm getting real trans-phob vibes from these people. What I get from that right is that what they've clearly explained in the first paragraph here is, oh, we've made one for men and women because our market research shows that dudes think these necklaces are gay and for women. And we want twice as many people to spend money on them.

So we made a shift for dudes, which as far as the product goes is, you know, there's as much of a difference between these products as there is between like a packet of baby wipes and the black packet of dude wipes, you know? Yeah. Uh, shampoo for guys. It's in, it's in a black bottle. Did you ever get that? You got that Xbox shampoo sent to you, didn't you?

The body, Xbox body wash? No, it was um, oh no I did. That's right. Um, no, it was sorry, it wasn't the body, it wasn't the body wash. Somebody, somebody online, and I can't remember who it was, I apologize right now, uh, who like reviews games and stuff like that. They got sent the Xbox gamer links deodorant. Ah. And I said send it to me and they did and I smelled it once and threw it

straight in the bin. Was it really bad? I just imagine that would be a lot stronger or something like that. Yeah, was it especially bad? Yeah. I think I think I don't actually, I'm a scentless deodorant guy and I'm many many That can't be real. What, sentless deodorant? I can't smell like something that's for chicks. Well, if we're going to go off the products that are available for men, I don't need to be smelling like Rex owner or Lynx or some shit, you know, it's not for men. I don't need to be smelling like Rex owner or Lynx or some shit, you know, it's not for me. It's all natural pheromones, baby.

It's a musk. It's a hot beanie musk for my man Andrew. Coming off me in waves. But yeah, like, so they've already, they've already tip their hand, right? They've already, they've already shown you their cards. They have said we want these these these these these these these these their th.. We want th. We want th. We want th. We want th. We want their th. We want their th. We want th. We want th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. th. th., they've already tip their hand, right? They've already, they've already shown you their cards. They are, they have said, we want these prospective customers who would go by us if they thought that it was a product for women, or even if they were ambiguous about whether it was a product for women. So we've made one that we can market directly to them. Because we wish to exploit their their to to their to to their to their to to to their to to to their to their to to their their to their, their, that particular way that people feel about things

that are having marketed to them. But we also have to write in here that we're not being like gender reductive. We also have to make sure that people think, yes we've explained that we're doing this because that's the way we think marketing works and we want to sell to this group. It's more important to us to make the money than to like... They're potential customers. Yeah, it's more important to us to make the money than to just have a genderless product, but we also need to explain how we think that we're too good to have gendered products, which we are explaining that we're explaining that we're to thethink we're like, I think we've pushed past the point or somehow it missed it, that it also has Japanese characters on it.

Yes. That's the words be still. I bet it doesn't. I bet that's not what it says. It can't be. So, so they've explained their evolved standard for gendering and they say, that being said, thi thine, thine, thia thia thia thia thia thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, thi, that, thi, that, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, to to to that to to to to to to to to that to to that that that thi thi, thi, thi, thi, they've explained their evolved standard for gendering and they say, that being said, we're ideating internally about how to provide a better example and ultimately make the adjustment to publish the product as unisex because we think it's important and want to be leading the way. They're not doing that, but they'd like to. Sorry, you didn't read the fine print at the end of that which says leading the way in tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, the tiny, tiny, the the the tiny, tiny, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, their, their, their, their, their, their, they.eateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateat.eat. Wea. We're toeateateateathea. We're toeathea, toeathea like to. Sorry, you didn't read the fine print

at the end of that, which says, leading the way in tiny, straw necklace industries. We know that doesn't solve the issue, but hope it sheds some light on our position and our path forward. It kind of seems like you could have just made the necklace and said, unise, or just don't make the, don't fucking monetize every single like bad thing that you feel? Like, just because there's a bad thing that you feel doesn't mean that you deserve to make 112 US dollars off it by having some piece of shit metal, like, fucking, like, Andrew, you've, you've recently parented, right?

Like, parenting is like this as well. Like, I mean, I still, I still am. I haven't thrown the mouth. Okay, all right, just check. I wasn't sure. You know, you don't want to be like, hey, you know, you and your partner, Brad or whatever, and like, oh, no, Brad and I broke up and he took the good good, took took to to to to to to to, the good, the good, the good, the good, the good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good the good to to to the good good good good good to to to to to to to to to to tho, the good good good good good good good good good good good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good good good good co, the good cout, the good cout, the good cout, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cout, too cout, too, too, thooooooooo.......'s just me and my boss baby. Yeah. But everything, every single part of it is like, hey, you're feeling bad about that. Um, can I offer you a product to solve that?

It's like fucking, you know, the apps for like making sure your baby goes to sleep at the right time or else they won't be a good employee or whatever? Like all this. What is an app that makes that your your your your your your your your your that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that make that that make that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th the th the the the the their their their their their their their their their their th an app that makes your baby go to sleep? Yeah, they're fucking- Oh my god, Tom. Yeah. Oh my god, is there apps that make your baby go to sleep or like time they're like their entire day to be like, they's baby's not asleep yet, you piece of shit. Your baby should have gone asleep by our algorithm like 623. 49 is gonna die. You know which one I have particularly, I found particularly distasteful in the last year or so,

Theo, are the ads for things like Zoom and Google Meet and like any sort of video conferencing type thing that show like kids talking to their grandparents and shit where they're like, oh, we're making it possible for you to have these human family connections during this time of not being able to fucking see anyone for the last two years. By the way, grandma's also been reading Facebook and she thinks that like vaccines or you know Bill Gates etc. so um but yeah just just all all of those things related to parenting that are just about going The world's pretty fucked up. Aren't you glad that IBM is here? We're here to sell a product.

IBM's here for you. Yeah. Just don't fucking doing it. Just stop doing like every new thing doesn't have to be like a Silicon Valley piece of shit for ripping people off for a metal straw. I feel anxious all the time. You know why I do? I can't cry in the shower. All right? Jack off. Like a normal person. And you, Theo, like to put your head up and open your mouth so you get much less opportunity

to breathe because of the water falling in, essentially doing the same thing. And it's for free in my own house. Yeah. The problem is using the straw in the shower is that you suck all the water up and... Yeah, and let me just be very clear I was sucking up not pineapple juice. That's right. It was a mix of my own tears and bath. Wasn't pineapple juice. Not what it was. But I can't take a shower with me to work or whatever so I guess the shift is actually probably a good idea of going to buy one now. Shift for him. Shift for him. Just sitting there at your desk sucking on your shift. I'm sure that you're going to be like, gee, that's a calm guy. That's a stupid little thing that you're sucking on there.

Hey, boss, you're just going to take a five minute shift break. Just shifting in the break room. Folks, thi to enjoy it some new things are very good, like Tom Cardi's album Artificial Intelligence. Go and enjoy it. Maybe you want to jump on YouTube, type my name in and just see some of the funny videos. There's a great animated one that for some reason is doing well. There's one on there about anxiety, teaches you more about it than this fucking piece of shit, and it doesn't cost you a cent unless you choose to give it to our lovely boy Tom.

You can leave comments. You can leave comments on YouTube. You can be like, I'm watching this in 2021. Yes. Puntivista sent me here. Oh, if some of you, Buntavista sent me here, I will actually, no never mind, I'm gonna say something that often gets me kicked out of podcasts, so. I'll be sucking on my shift like there's no tomorrow.

Yeah, there's a very little to get you kicked off this one. But I mean it's very, there's approximately like 200 people listen to this podcast. Yeah, probably three of them will go and watch on the video. Anywhere up to 205. Mm-hmm. Yep. So Tom, we thank you very much for joining us. Everybody get out there, listen to artificial intelligence, stream it on all the things, go to band camp, drop a, drop a tenor on our beautiful friend here.

And what if we, what if we play us out with a song from the album. How's that sound time? Sounds beautiful. Thanks so much. Thank you very much and we'll see everybody next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. It's a Sunday night and you're a home all alone. Last night was crazy. It was our very first day so now it's time to pull out my phone. Gonna see something real quick. It ain't gonna be a deep big. No no.

Romance needs clarity, but baby, that don't work for me. I'm sending... The best, messages, I send the first text in a cute way, and then I don't reply for seven fucking days, yeah. The best messages, yeah. Oh, you text me one night in my free and I reply yes, full stop. I send you a little smiling face, so you send me back a little smiling face. And then I say, hey, and so you're right back, hey, and I say, hey what?

And you say, you said hey first, and I say, okay. Prisant emogey, fuck you. Lips passivosts. One second I say you're very pretty. And then I show up on your house and I kick you down, yeah. Lick's passivosts. I pay for the dogs, veterinary bills, but then I punch your dad in the dick. Ha ha ha ha ha. Now I'm going to a hospital. Just me, you and your dad in the back of an ambulance.

And even with your dad's broken dick, the air is stick with sexual tension. I'm really sorry for point you to get in the dick I won't do it again. You make me shake his hands and promise, but as I do I ball up my other fist. And I put your dad in his broken dick again. You think I'm sexy, I'm being mysterious. Send and yell these blemics messagess. You say, still punching my dad's dick. I say, okay, but then I wink. So you grab both of my hands quick.

Stopping my third attempt to punch your dad's dick. Oh baby, you've played this game before. Too bad. I played but your dad's pants in the back of an ambulance. And between their head butts, our eyes lockers wear holding hands and we can't help but kiss over your dad's not once, twice, thrice broken dick. Meads, bass your thi's dick. I say I love you in a cute way and then I punch your dad's dick every day. Tell your dad that I'm sorry,

but then punch him in his dick again.