Boonta Vista - EPISODE 215: No-Touch Polyglot

Episode Date: September 1, 2021

Theo, Andrew, and Ben journey into the astral realm to explore: taking raw chicken with you on a domestic flight, warring pet psychics, and mysterious rhinoceros heads. ** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome, Bonnevista, episode 215. I am Ben and I am here at a feast in a fantasy novel. The air is thick with the ringing of silver trumpets and the sonnets, limericks and musical parodies of skilled bards. Banners wave gaily in the wind, and garlands of fresh herbs and flowers decorate the rough-hewn trestle-tables set out across the meadow on which we dine. On this night, wine and mead and beer flow as freely as the talk.

The air is thick with jolility and gainess, as all witness the splendor of the most wonderful food you have ever seen. them. Strong lights glowing with elf magic and candles made from dwarf wax illuminate plates and platters of the most wonderful food you have ever seen. Heaps of honeyed winarco thighs sizzled quietly next to lashings of walrus gravy. A pyramid of whole... A pyramid of holes slow roasted giraffes. Feastgoers load up their cobbled meal torteers by the handful. On look is gasp in delight as a shroud is removed to reveal a whole flock of deep fried swans arranged as if in graceful flight. Granteeing his plate. deep-fried swans arranged as if in graceful flight.

Greenly filling his plate with tortoise stew hot weasel pie. Of course. Goose sashimi. It's Theo. Hi Theo. How you going. I'm great. Thank you. I'm so glad to be here. Now I know I know the obvious take on this is, well, okay. So first of all I'm trying to narrow this down. There's elf magic at play. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm tod. I'm the. I'm today. I'm tod. I'm tod. I'm today, today, today, today. I'm today. I'm today. I'm tode. I'm tode. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I the. I the. I the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm the. I'm the. G. G. I'm the. G. G. G. today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today. Grea. G. G. G. know the obvious take on this is, well okay so first of all I'm trying to narrow this down, there's elf magic at play so clearly not game of throwns here. The obvious reference here is Lord of the Rings but I feel like this is a I'm I am 100% believing us to be within the realms of Raymond E. Fist's magician.

What's that world called? I didn't read any Raymond E. Fist. Somehow that was like the one fantasy series that was a step too far for me. You don't need to. It's so stupid. I tried to reread it. I read Lord of the Rings relatively recently, and then I went and read that, and I like oh this book's no good. This sucks. Anyway but you know what doesn't suck is this duck sashimi goose sashimi yeah I think duck sashimi exists. It does and I've eaten it.

Hmm yeah goose sashimi I guess is not all that different now that I think about it. No it's just bigger. Largely, yeah. Also with us, dipping chunks of elf bread into a large pot of rich, oily cream of otter soup and supping on a cup of the finest fermented goblin piss, it's Andrew. Hi, Andrew. Hey, buddy. You are, you know it's good otter soup when you don't find a single whisker in there. Yeah, completely. You wouldn't even be able to tell that this was made from a cream to Otter.

No. And they've kept all that cream in there. They haven't sort of rendered it off the otter candles. Yeah, it is separated, the most erotic. Like very visibly into layers of, you got weasel cream at the bottom. Sorry, a lot of cream at the bottom and then otter oil at the top. Yeah and it's great great for your boots really good to put in your moustache you know. It's fun to imagine cooking animals we don't normally eat. What would you eat though?

You know? Like if you could have anything, any animal. Like I don't think I would go pretty quickly for a swan. Like... I'd try swan. It depends where it came from if you like just pulled it out of the Yarra, you know. Just scooped it off the Brisbane river. Yeah, we don't have swans on the Brisbane River. Yeah, it's extremely deadly to third life. Deadly to all swans. Die on contact,

right? Dropping a, dropping a swan into the Brisbane River is like throwing a tune into dip, you know? Just immediately melting into a colored pool on the surface of the water. And then of course it gets absorbed in and just lends to that rich brownness that we all love. That's a tance. Uh, about a sort of dolphin porcetta. Hmm. A little bit of fennel in there. I feel like the dolphin lends itself more to sashimi.

More than the goose does. Maybe. Maybe. And maybe I'd get smarter if I had a dolphin, you know? That is true. I personally believe that you do gain some of the qualities of your vanquished foes when you consume them. Yeah. I think, I think though that if I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really thua thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu them. Yeah. I think I think though that if I really turn my gaze inward and ask myself what do you really believe I think the answer is that I believe you have to eat the specific organ

to gain the strength from that part like to have the powerful vision of the eagle you must eat the eagle's eyes. If he want the sexual prowess of a horse you must eat the horse's dick Yes, you want to be dead like a dead dog you want to eat its liver hmm that sounds true. Yeah, yeah from the um so like a bunch of like polar explorers died because you know eventually they get they'd get out there and start running out of food and?? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. their th. their s. their s. their their their their th. their their the and start running out of food and the obvious answer is they start eating their sled dogs. But if you eat the liver you die of a vitamin A overdose I think. Oh. Not not because it's just bad for you to eat a dog. No, no, dog is fine. I mean, morally.

It's probably bad if you're to eat a dog if you were friends with it before, like if it was your sled dog. That sounds doing you a favor. Oh, you don't want to eat your neighbor's sled dog. Yeah. I'd eat less personal that way. My personal hierarchy there is eat the annoying people on your team first. Yeah, and then the dogs. God, you'd hate to be at the end of that, like, vote, wouldn't you? Hmm.

Like, do you really find me that annoying? Yes! I'm not even that meaty. That's because I chew with my mouth open, and because I whistle while I work, that's it. You're getting rid of me? You're going to eat thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat to eat thin' to eat to eat to eat thin' thin' thin' thin' thi thi thi thi' thi' that's that's thi that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that annoying that annoying that annoying that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that annoying that annoying that annoying that annoying that annoying that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi that thiiiiiiiii thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. that that that that thi wi that that that that that thighs? All right. Around the campfire. Okay, everybody, uh, I know this is gonna be really hard. On three. One.

Six voices immediately. Andrew. Andrew are saying, no one because we're all friends. So the answer is everybody pass one of your dogs to the left. You know? Pass the puppy to the left-hand side. Oh no. Classic, classic Arctic puppy chowder.

Uh, so yeah, look, a swan, a goose, I guess. Roast that bad boy up maybe. That might help. Hmm. I feel like a roasted goose is probably good. Goose fat. That's something. Yeah. No, a goose, the goose would be fine. At the way, at least they deserve it. That's true. Yeah, that's true. Oh, fuckers. Nature's bastard. I used to get chased by this one goose. Everybody has that goose in their life. I guarantee you've spoken of this goose on the podcast before.

Your goose nemesis. Everybody's been scared by a goose. How long did it take for you to marry her? Uh, this marriage shit got her honking like a goose. Shout out to my beautiful wife. Theo is demeaning as just a bird when she's so much more to me. A woman that you have loved says the first day you locked eyes and she said, Hong Kong.

Hong Kong. You've had me it. And the jeep like put her tongue out a weirdly long way and hissed. Hong Kong. Hong Kong. You had me at Hong Kong. And the jeep like put her tongue out a weirdly long way and hissed. Yeah, it's got like teeth on that tongue as well. What the fuck's happening there? It's a nine-year wedding anniversary in three hours. Oh, wow. Yeah. So if you're listening to this show, I might. She won't.

She will be asleep before midnight. Although, these days of just being stuck in the house and not being able to go anywhere or do anything, you can serve a lot of energy. So her nighttime period of me assuming that she went to bed hours ago and then coming into the darkened room to just see her face lit up by the glow of tick-tocks. That period is going on longer now. Which I assume cannot be good for anyone. The tick-tocs are going darker whole two hours later this time of year. Happy anniversary? You know? Happy anniversary to you. And more importantly, in several hours.

Your wife. Yes. Yes, that's right. Folks, there's many mysterious and exotic animals that you could eat. Eating these animals will require you to kill them and once you've killed an exotic, beautiful animal, what better thing to do with it than scoop out all of its guts? And I guess pipe some other stuff in there? And what that stuff is, we'll never know.

I think at least some of it's like, uh, like that space filling foam kind of stuff that goes hard. Yeah. That's what I got from poking around in the neck of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the teea the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thethat, that space filling foam kind of stuff that goes hard. Mmm, yeah. That's what I got from poking around in the neck of the taxidermy deerhead that I used to have. We miss you, Samantha. Samantha now just lives at my friend's house. That's pretty cool.

Right. He's got high enough ceilings for it to work. It's not like she would have died. He. He. Sorry. Big horns and everything, you know? So you know, you've got to scoop out the insides. It's a lot of effort.

It's probably pretty gross. Maybe it makes your house smell weird. I'm assuming that you're going to pay someone else to do it. But then, what happens when you misplace the parts that are left over? Let's find out in this week's omens and portents. You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the his fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon. And you shall know that God is God.

Bow down to his will. This is from WTAE News Pittsburgh or Wattah! So, you know, I found something quite weird when I was looking this up because it wasn't attributed to the station, it was attributed to the TV news team, which is Action 4 News, Pittsburgh. Way cooler. But, so I was typing that in to find out what the station code for it is.

And it auto-completed once I got to Action 4, like Pittsburgh Action 4, it went, Pittsburgh Action 4, Weather Girl. And I was like, oh, okay, that's weird. So people are searching for that more than they're searching anything. And I was like, did something happen? Like, there's no news story. Like nothing happened. I thi th, it th, it th, it th, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, I thi, thi, I was thi, I was th, I was thi, thi, I was th, I was th, I was like, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I was I was like, I was like, thi, thi, thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th her? Like there's no news story. Like nothing happened. I think it's a classic hot weather person scenario.

Are you suggesting that this is a daddy-like driven search trend? I think it's a, yeah, daddy-likey sort of, what are you doing over there? I'm just checking the weather? Just watching the weather. Damn, I wish they still made naked news. Ha ha ha, you know? They probably do. I'm... You're gonna still doing naked news?

I don't know, maybe. I have separate needs for my news and my nudity. Naked News. Beautiful nudes, hot naked females. But I like how you doing fresh news th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, tho, thu. tho, tho, thu-a, tho, tho, tho, tho, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th, th. th. th. I th. I th. I th, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. thi. tha, that, that, that, that, that, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, tha, nudes, hot naked females. But I like how you doing fresh news though, I don't want to watch... Old news? Better be old. No, Naked News, December 1999 to present. Ah. That's a run. Like, it just goes to show.

You come up with one good idea. People need the news, you know? That's it. Yep. That's it. When you think about it, it was probably the first way that news was delivered. It was from a nude person telling you that a terodactylate your son. Because you're also nude because you're not invented clothes yet. That's exactly right. Yeah. Then we got clothes involved and it sort of all went wrong. Yeah. I don't think we had any overlap with the terodactile. I think we

might have been lied to by gogs. No, that was a big bird I think. Yeah. Andrew you have a real fucking look on your face right now, and I am concerned. I'm just laughing at this statement that a popular segment on naked news is naked in the streets where a reporter will go topless in the street and ask the public about topics. I mean that's actually kind of a funny concept. Just asking people what they think about like a tax reform bill while they're just like, uh-huh. She's actually an economist. So I assume you didn't get to the bottom of why people were primarily googling the

normal weather go. Nice looking woman, but like, you know how there was that whole thing where like, uh, Republican men were like super horny for Sarah Palin? And I think that there is like a type of look that. th, th, th, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a th, a thi, a thi, like, a they they, a they, a they, a they, a th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, like, like, a thi, thi, thi, thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, like, like, a thi, like, you know how there was that whole thing where like, uh, Republican men were like super horny for Sarah Palin? And I think that there is like a type of look that, uh, yeah. Doesn't translate from America to here in a way where we're like, I don't know. I don't know what it is. There's a specific sort of thing that middle-aged American men find hot that over here just be like, that's someone that would work in an office maybe. Or at the very least be like advertised on the side of a bus for a radio program.

It'd be like Ashley, Brenton and the Fuzz. How many of those are that? You know, I'd actually tried to look this up for the podcast to come up with a big list of like Kip Lutsi and the fuck head and you know all the like there's a fucking ton of them everywhere I go on Brisbane there's another billboard and it's like it's Spanko and shit and you're like okay all the stations can there possibly be and then I could not find like a big list of even just all the breakfast shows in Australia it's impossible. Spanko and the Shitter 6 a.m. daily. So that's that's you've posted a picture in the chat there but I don't know if there's another one as well. Oh there's a lot of

them apparently. Action 4 News. I think it's I think it's Ashley Doherty. So saying weather girls seem so patronizing, that is a grown woman. She is a meteorologist. Oh no. Ten weather girls who are guaranteed to brighten up your day. Jesus. What's wrong with you fucking people? I saw a funny little clip today of a guy doing his weather report on his big green screen, but he was doing it at home due to the pandemic and such.

And then did a cat walk in front of the green screen? No, it was a dog. His little dog just came in and then just like stood in the middle of a lake that was in the background and he, you know when you see a person trying to silently communicate something to a dog, and that's not how they work. You know what this reminds me of? Is the reviews from Mr. Skin for shows that weren't that sexy? We got into this on the Discord and I want to thank Duffo for fighting this snippet. Touted as a cross between the OC and Twin Peaks, Riverdale promises to bring plenty of teen

angst as well as spooky intrigue. We're skin-trieged by... Oh no. By the young, hot young actress, Lily Reinhart, who plays Betty. While Betty watches Archie changed by the window, you'll be watching Betty's cleavage as she leans over in a bra. We see her in her laundry a couple more times, most notably when she gets her shirt ripped off during a steamy make-out sesh. Madeline Petch shows off her captivate of cleavage in a lacy bra as well. Camilla Mendez does some accidental nudity when she has a little nipslip slip

while doing a sexy shower scene. Get ready for a river of something in your pants. Oh no, no, that's one of the worst sentences I've ever heard in life. Oh, wouldn't you love to be drenched in come? I look like in some ways to me this is simply the most psycho kind of horny it's possible to be. I don't understand one bit because it's not even like a person that you know this is just like these people are all... You can choose to investigate other forms of sexy me? bit because it's not even like a person that you know. This is just like... These people are all... You can choose to investigate other forms of sexy media.

But this is fucking Connor O'Malley and I think you should leave driving around looking for the nude calendars because there's no other alternative to find sexual gratification other than like watching a TV show and being like a bra oh my god I am titillated yeah it's just it's extraordinary when there is just so much extreme hardcore porn available to everybody all the time around the clock to it is safe to say that pornography is abundant and of low value. To not just be horny about it in your own right, but to say, I must put pen to paper. I must simply, I must pen omissive to Michelle Tractenburg's whale tail in road trip, you know?

Like just the people got a no. It's some real fucking freaks out there. It is absolutely hyperactively freak mode stuff. Like to me it's a step further than like commenting on a porn hub video you know. Yeah that's weird. Yeah there's a purely further than like commenting on a porn hub video, you know? Yeah, that's weird. Yeah, there's a purely read-only relationship. I like this. Cool man. Thanks. I'm giving a thumbs up.

My penis was hard. Oh boy. Did what it says on the tun. I'm watching this in 2021. Puntavista sent me. Oh boy. So anyway, this comes to us from Wattah! News, Pittsburgh. Police are investigating. After its haxidermy rhinoceros head was found on the sidewalk in Pennsylvania.

What, like... They got on the sidewalk in Pennsylvania. What like? They're going to involve the police and everything around there? Who's not picking that up and take it home? I mean I think... Yeah I mean I guess... obviously I don't condone hunting rhinoceruses or killing them for sport or even killing them for food. But if I say, say it was around the time of curbside collection. Mm-hmm. Your favorite time of year? Yeah, only just happened recently.

It's the most wonderful time of year. Yeah. Well, it's sad though because now it's like the furthest that it's going to be until its roadside collection again, you know. It's like like the the most the most the most the most the most the most the most th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. It's like th. It's like th, th, thi tho tho thi thi thi thoom, thoom an thoom, thoomorrow. It's thoom. It's thoom. It's thuoom. It's thuoom. It's thuoom. It's thu. It's thu. It's thu. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. I's thi. I's thiiiiia. I's thiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. It's thii. It's thi. It's thi. I's thi. It's like the furthest that it's going to be until its roadside collection again. Oh, that's so true. It's like my kids a week after Christmas when they're like, how many weeks until Christmas? And I'm like, I got some fucking bad news for you. You can't even imagine a number this big at that point, so I'm not going to try and explain it to you. How many weeks to the most weeks. If I walk past someone that had, you know, like one of those IKEA lack coffee tables that cost like 10 bucks and are made of exploding chipboard and they look like shit.

They got one of those. It's been in the rain. And it has exploded. They've got an office chair that's missing a wheel. They've got an ironing board. They've got a printer that was probably used only twice. And th th th th th th th th th th the th the th their their their their their their their their th. And their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their the've got a printer that was probably used only twice, and then they've got an actual real-life god-dam rhinoceros head. I'm probably taking the rhinoceros head. Like the damage has already been done.

Very much. There's no coming back from that for the rhinoceros. No. You know, and I'm not like giving money to rhinoceros poachers or anything, I'm just getting some cool shit for my house. And maybe, sometimes I'll bring people over and they'll be like, that, is the real rhinoceros head? And I'll be like, look, this was a zero waste, four-cycles. Yeah, I am not a monster. I think it is cool. Instead, Cameron Taylor, who was walking his dog when he stumbled upon the head,

I guess immediately said, please help! It's coming right at me! Officer Mike Broker confirmed that one of their officers was flagged down Saturday night regarding the rhinoceros head. They like, like, oh, he was, he was scratching their head. He was scratching his head. He's looking at the rino-noster. He's looking at the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the head. He's the the head. He's the head. He's the head. He's the head. He's the head. He's their their their their their their the head. He's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. I snumbled. He's. He's. I snumbled. He's. I snumbled. He's. He's. I the rhinoceros head. They like ran into the street? So like, oh, he was, he was standing there, he's scratching his head, he's looking at the rhinoceros head, and then he sees a cop car and he's like, oh, they'll know what to do about this. Oh, fine.

Thank God you're here. And then the officers fired 27 rounds got the situation under control now. The medal ceremony is on Saturday. And they shot the guy and then they shot the guy's dog. Now they're all the chief of police. Police took custody of the head, which they said appears to be very cool. Which they said appears to be authentic. They believe it is potentially more than 50 years old. What did I know? What did we mean by like like as in as in it was taxidermied over 50 years ago? The rhino was 50 years old at time of death? I... I don't think this is in a cop's fucking wheelhouse.

This is an antique road show. Well, but I mean when you're, like, when you've got all the funding, you got, I think. Are they saying it's a 35-year-old rhino that was taxidermine 15 years ago? I don't know. It's hard to say. Hmm. Explain yourself. Show you numbers, you know. Police said they are in the process of contacting the Pennsylvania Department of Conservation and Natural Resources. In the process. That's a long process too.

Right. Well, on the phone call while this story was being written. Hmm. I've, I've typed out the first five characters of their email address and now I'm having this phone call. They are in the process of contacting the Department of Conservation and Natural Resources to find out what the legalities are possessing such an item are. Hey, do we have to shoot a guy or what? Is it a shootable offense or one of the other ones? Who do I shoot and when? It's a good Pittsburgh accent there. Thank you.

Pittsburgh sister station, Wattie is trying to learn how the head had gotten to the sidewalk. Isn't that the real mystery? Like... Well, no, because... The second sentence really solves that mystery. The police officer actually showed us video footage of the guy who left the dolly there. Oh, okay. So a guy put it there. Guy walked it up on a thing and just plonked it down. So I feel like the how it got on the sidewalk part is pretty solved.

Yeah. There's a guy. So this kind of implies that like, they know a guy dropped it there, but you'd have to assume it's not just like in front of his house because then they just be like, it was this guy. Which means this guy's been like, shit, I gotta dump this rhino head. And he's just driven to some rain in the street corner. This rhino head to get too much heat on it. Yeah.

Don't ever purchase a rhino head that you're not able to let go at the moment you feel the heat coming around the corner. Mmm. Watch that last night. What a movie. What a wonderful film. What a bloody movie. I always thought, I always thought, oh, heard, read that the shootout scene was like live miced, but it wasn't. They made it sound like that.

This was extremely good sound. Just extremely, and then no other movie sound like this. And leave it right there. You can make more gunfights sound like that. I should make more gunfights. Whatever episode that was. Mm-hmm. I should make more gunfights sound like that. Loud. But echoy.

Ooh. So good. Police say they are reviewing surveillance footage from nearby homes and businesses to figure out who the man is, where he got the rhino head and why he dumped it. The most important question to me. Why did he get rid of it? Why now? Now after 50 years. Sick of its eyes following me around the room.

Sick of the curse. Curs that came with killing him. So far, nobody has come forward to claim the head and police are unsure of to whom it belongs. Kind of just putting it out there that there's a free rhino head really. Well I mean is the rhino head in police custody now or does the... oh yeah they took it yeah. So then what happens? They find out it is legal to have a rhino head and then what? The guy that found it gets to keep it? I think they just walk it back out and put it on the footpath. Yeah, a little sign in front of it says, free to a good home. Free rhino.

Hey, you, you in the market for a rhino head? Hmm? Consider it. Are you tired of paying nothing for the same old superior quality free episodes of the Buntavista podcast? Do you want less politics and more content about diarrhea, are animals gone wild? You're tired of skipping through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg's film shooter? Well, boy, do I have the offer of a lifetime for you.

That's right, for just five US dollars a month. You too can be a premium VIP member of the Buntavista Patreon. That's right, just five US dollars for all of our bonus episodes. That's over 300 hours of content from the hosts you know and definitely tolerate. I'll even throw in access to our glamorous and exclusive Discord server, where biiiiiii to to to to their th. to th. their th. th. th. th. their th. th. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. to thoes. the their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to us us to us to us the thus. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thus. the thous thous thous thous th. thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous. I. thoes. thoes. thooooooooooooooes. tooooooooooes. tooooooooooooooooes. tooes. to to tolerate. I'll even throw in access to our glamorous and exclusive discord server where bizarre arguments only happen once or twice a week at most. Head to Patreon.com slash Buntavista. Sign up in the next five minutes and I won't know because that's not my job but you'll be enjoying the sweet satisfaction of supporting us and we will love you romantically for it. That's my promise to you.

Huh. Huh. Yes, Andrew. Well, you know, sometimes you read ahead and you think to yourself, I wonder how we might segue from one thing to the next. And sometimes you hadn't really thought about that until you get to the very end of the article, you know. Sometimes there's a long stretch of runway and you don't look where you're going and you get to the end and crash and burn. You know? He's done a meta segue. Yes. That sometimes happens in the world of aeronautics.

This is your captain speaking. Please return your seats for their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of Plainly Speaking. Folks, that's one of the best segues that money can buy. All right, this one's free. This one's free. This is a story from the website, uh, that's one of the best segues that money can buy. This one's free. This is a story from the website Insider, and let me tell you, it took me a really long time to find a version of the story that was from a publication that doesn't absolutely suck ass. This is one of those ones where it's based on like one post that a law enforcement agency put out.

So they're just writing up a press release basically and the only places that really do that are trash. And so this version of the article that I'm going to re-reading, I tried to remove all of the jokes from it. Because they really went ham on it. We'll put our own in, thank you. We got jokes at home. Yeah, we'll do the funny part where we use your new story for free on our podcast. Thanks for nothing. No more fun on your shift, whoever the fuck wrote this. This is from Inside a viral TSA video shows Raw Chicken Cirling an airport baggage claim carousel. Yep, the US Transportation Security Administration post a video of raw chicken circling a baggage claim carousel. TSA shared the clip on its official Instagram account last week

or amassed more than 402,000 views and 1,100 comments. Who cares? Footage showed a block. Yeah, I fucking hate when they do that. There's really no reason to mention how you know it's viral. Yeah, I fucking hate when they do that. There's really no reason to mention how... That's fine. Footage showed a block of unwrapped raw chicken meat. Sorry, I mean deliver that again. Footage showed a block of unrapped raw chicken meat circling the carousel alongside luggage and bags as flight passengers stood nearby. The agency said the meat was initially placed inside a cooler for travel,

but fell out at some point. Which... Why? Well, you know. You don't want to land in Denver without your chicken. They might not have chicken there. Yeah, I'm going to one of America's major metropolitan centers, but I don't know if they've got chicken there. And no, it's a dry county. The agency then explained that meat should be properly stored and packaged before travel. Both ice and dry ice are permitted to keep meat chilled.

You know, you know when you see the baggage handler guys just pick stuff up and like huck it. Both ice and dry ice are permitted to keep meat chilled. You know, you know when you see the baggage handler guys just pick stuff up and like huck it. From the, from the bottom of the window being like my brisket. Just guys grabbing like handfuls of raw chicken meat and whipping it into the baggage compartment, you know. This is fucking gross. What are you doing? And like from the picture, it looks like it's like four to five kilos of tenderloid. Like, it's a lot of... It's not like someone brought three uncooked whole chickens with them. Like, it's fucking...

Is it special chicken? That you're bringing home as a mentor of your holiday? I just don't understand. I hope it was just somebody who was like, oh I'm going out of town and this chicken's used by us on Friday. So not letting that chicken go bad on me. Yeah, I'm not throw on that in the bin or putting it in the freezer for later. Uh, the DSA didn't immediately respond to insider's request for comment. In recent months,

airports and airlines have made headlines for several mishaps. Have you seen these airports in the news lately? This really does seem like a stretch but you know I guess they're just kind of padding out their word count here. Maybe linking to other stories they've already written, which is both good for traffic and good for SEO. And great for journalism. Great for all of us, the reader. I mean it kind of is because I quite like this. In one instance, a video showed one woman being escorted off a spirit airline's flight for lighting a cigarette, and blowing a cigarette on a plane and just

be like, oh you can't breathe? No, I feel like this is actually an extremely cool Venn diagram, right, of like things, things that were already shitty to do, right? There's lighting a cigarette on a plane. Yeah. Sucks. Lighting a cigarette and blowing smoke into someone's face. Sucks. Lighting a cigarette and blowing smoke into someone's face. Sucks. Blowing smoke into someone's face because they've complained that like they have asthma and you're fucking with their breathing sucks. Now you assemble those three circles and this woman is right there in the middle, lighting a cigarette on a plane so that she can blow smoke

into an asthma sufferers face. That's, that is like a real game plus levels of spite. Yeah. It's a powerful act. Another woman on TikTok claimed that American Airlines lost her two cats on a flight from Los Angeles to New York City. Now... I'm gonna want those back. They don't say that they lost that they, like, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and thi, and thi, and th, and th, and th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, this, this, this, this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this thi thi thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and flight from Los Angeles to New York City. Now I'm gonna want those back. They don't say that they like lost her cats as she was taking the flight like as in that they put them on the wrong plane or you know just something went weird with the baggage saying that she lost her cats on the flight. Where can those cats go? because I can only think of one other the the the their air. they. they. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they don't say. They don't say. They don't say. They're they don't say. They don't say they don't say. They don't say. They don't say they don't say. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they're they're they're their their her cats on the flight, where can those cats go? Because I

can only think of one other place than the plane. That's out of the plane. Might be skittering around in the ducts or something in the plane, you know? They just like got into the landing gear and was like, whoosh, I'm out of here. Get out of that. But then, you know, that'll probably fine actually. You know how cats hit their terminal velocity like really early on in a fall? And then maybe they landed in the ocean and they're okay. Shout to a friend of the show, those two cats, maybe still alive. Maybe still alive.

I'm sure they would love that trip as well. LA to New York, where are you going to jump out there I wonder on the halfway point? Like where's your biggest body of water? Depends which airport they went to, I guess. Hmm. It might be the Hudson. They might have sullied it. If you are a cat who has leapt out of a plane, somewhere over in New York, right to mail bag at Punta Vista.com, let us know how it went. And which body of water you chose.

Yeah. Send us a little paw mail. I'm sorry, what? Poor mail? Poor mail? It's because cats have paws, they wouldn't use email, they'd use poor mail. Walk us through this one. Doesn't rhyme, yeah.

It's not like a sound like and it's not like we use email because we have ease. By that logic we would be using handmail. What it maybe said writus in e-mewel would have been closer. It's not great but it's definitely better for sure yeah. Oh boy. Hmm. Do you know Pauldale I guess. I suppose. Hmm. Do you know how? Here's a little joke, sorry.

Theo, you're going to love this one. If you're a cat and you drive a car with an automatic transmission, when you put it into park, the mechanism that stops the car from moving is the parking pole. Oh. No, that's good. Yeah, I thought you'd like that one. No, that's comedy. Comedy! God damn it. So maybe don't, don't get your chicken around, you know, don't be stingy, pay for a seat for your chicken.

It's not gonna stop me. Take. The plural of anecdote is not data. If you absolutely must take chicken on a flight, make it cooked chicken. That's my recommendation When you see that picture of someone who was like oh no I went to I went to the wherever it was the airport and I thought I was gonna be waiting in line for hours So I roasted a chicken and took it with me. I did yeah, and then I got up to the front of the line and they made me take my roasted chicken out of the bag the the front of a line? I? I the the the the the the line. the the line the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the line the the the toea toea. to to to to to to toe I toe I toe I toe I toe I toe I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tree I treeauuuu.eau.eau.ea ta tau.ea ta teau.eau.eau.eau.ea their their the the the their they made me take my roasted chicken out of the bag. I would love to

try and like speedy barbecue chook at the front of a line. I mean I think their plan was to eat it once they were inside the airport not while they were standing in line because they said that I just wait for their flight. I just I think some scenarios they kind of have like the cinema rules of food. No outside food. Yeah, and like it's also a bit extra weird to bring like a hot cooked meal to some places I think. And before anyone asks yes, I consider a barbecue chook a hot cooked meal. Yeah.

Do you think they had to put like the plastic serving bag on the security scanner? To make sure there wasn't a gun inside the chicken? They could go through. Yeah, absolutely. It's just a chicken. It was a skeleton in that bag. Whoa! Another gun-free chicken.

Oh boy. Dear, oh dear. Uh, but hey, when you take a whole roasted chook to the airport and get humiliated in line, that's something that you should have seen coming. Speaking of things that people should have seen coming, this is this week's edition of Scam Watch. No scams on the last bonus episode. No, none once over. We forgot that word for a whole hour.

Because it didn't apply to what we were saying. Uh, no, no defamation. That's my Christmas wish. This comes to us from the age, I've been enslaved by this woman. Psychics fight defamation battle in court. God, that sounds so cool. It's, it's like a huge disconnect between the gravitas of the first part of that headline and the second half. Because you read the first part of that headline in the second half.

Because you read the first part and you're like, oh shit, this might actually be like not a joking thing. And you're like, oh it's psychics. Awesome. Yeah, but they're fighting. Using their, it's like the bit and lord of the rings where Gandalfe and Saraman are using their wizardly powers. each other in Eisengard. I would have picked something cool like scanners. Yeah, that's probably more relevant as well, yeah, because they're psychics.

They are battling using the psychic power. It's like the final scene from scanners. Yeah, it's a lot like that. Yeah, when you think about it now and I agree with you. Yeah, and I'm thinking about it now and I agree with you, yeah. Although let's read the story and then decide at the end how much it still resembles the very cool ending of the David Cronenberg movie. As we measure every scam watch with our famous Scanners rubric. How many Cronenbergs you given this one? When Clairvoyant Haley Parks began posting about a fellow, fellow psychic to her thousands of Instagram followers, nice brag, it was to warn them that she had been the victim of a quote spiritual hijacking.

I've been enslaved by this woman for 18 months, she wrote. The spirit's been hijacked. No good. Miss Parks was making the claims about former friend. Ooh, brutal. Former friend of Nicole Kistler. A medium, animal communicator, tarot reader and rakey master. Oh, a real polyglot.

She's got... What do you reckon polyglot maids? Real polyman. Polly meaning many. And glot meaning this lady's glott a lot of chops. Oh boy. Oh boy. Out of Googled Polyglider wasn't that.

Well look you could say that she does speak a lot of languages you know she speaks the language of the dead. She speaks the language of the beast. The language of the touch. She interprets the language of not touch of thetouch. She interprets the language of not touch. Of the terror. That's kind of the whole point of Reiki, isn't it? I don't know. She speaks... My mom did Reiki. I didn't really pay much attention.

She speaks the language of the body's energy. You know? Anyway, she was talking mad shit about her fake former friend Nicole Kistler, who Miss Parks wrote had seized control of her spirit, her customer base, and her business invoicing account. Is that an order of importance? Oh, she seized control of my spirit and my FPOS card. It's so good. Like, I think it gets revealed later on, she's literally talking about that she has access to her zero account.

Everything, everything that I read about this woman makes so much sense. Miss Parks, who became a medium after an epiphany following seven years working as a real estate agent. What is the epiphany? Oh, I can make a lot of money from lying to people. Lies equal dollars? She's a real estate agent, so she realized that she could already make a career out of trading nothing of value for money.

She had sought spiritual guidance from Miss Kisler and formed such a relationship that she began directing customers to her. In one post she claimed she even gave Miss Kisler control of the program she used to invoice clients. Qu to claim your soul to trick you to make you a slave to their wicked satanic rituals. She tapped out on her iPhone. Got her ass. But you gotta send that one through Instagram? You couldn't just, beep, beep, zap it out to all your friends. This month, Ms. Kistler struck back taking the conflict to Victoria's County Court, where she has filed a defamation action against Miss Parks.

Miss Kistler from Hastings offers services ranging from communicating with spirits for $120 for 45 minutes to spiritual house clearings for $350. That's a good gig. 45 minutes of pretending to talk to someone. for $350. That's good gig. 45 minutes of pretending to talk to someone. Yeah, you cat, yeah he's up there. And boy, he sure misses getting pats. Let's round that up to 45 minutes.

Jinks, can you hear me? He's saying, meow. He says, he wants you to check his poor mail. He misses his favorite things. Jinks, can you hear me? He's saying, meow. He says, he wants you to check his paw mail. He misses his favorite food. Fish? I'm hearing a f-fmm-per-per-pup- He'd like you to let him eat, uh, in. No, oust. He's saying close the door now he's saying open the door.

Quote, I am a medium healer and animal communicator with over 14 years of experience. Her website states. I used to see and communicate with spirits as a child including talking to the family cat until her passing. I talk to Lewis all the fucking time. Like I'm in a constant dialogue, man, monologue maybe with that dog. You can just talk... He's a strong silent type. Yeah, he gives you lots of looks.

But I mean you can just talk to animals. It's great. I'd recommend it to everyone. I'm constantly telling my cat to shut the fuck up and get out of the way, you know. I'm constantly just asking really rhetorical questions. Oh. How'd you get so handsome? Why are you so handsome? Tell me, tell me why you're so handsome. Scaring the dog. Oh, yeah, I talked to the cat when she's doing her... Hello? Her routine that goes for the last hour and a half of the day, which involves just chasing me around the house, demanding that I go to bed.

So if I get up and like walk down the hallway, perhaps say to the bathroom or the office, she sprints at top speed past me to the bedroom, pushing the door open and meowing the whole time she jumps up on the bed. And then I just walk past and do whatever it was that I'm doing. And then I walk back to the lounge room and she sprints past me the other way, leaping up onto the couch and making a lot of noise. Did you know it's bedtime? It's been bedtime for so long.

And I say, come on, come on. So you heard it here first, folks. This lady talked to her cat until her cat died. And we're not drawing a causal link between those two events whatsoever. Extremely distinct. She also notes she is available for parties and platform events. Just bursting out of a birthday cake being like, who wants to talk to a dead cat? I'm sensing it's somebody's birthday. Somebody named Gary

would you like me to speak to a horse you don't know that's in the afterlife? Down down the front here has has anybody lost somebody really close to them? You? You? Well guess what? I'm talking to your mother right now. She said she misses you so much and it was your dad who murdered her? Who? Who, guess what? I'm talking to your mother right now. She said she misses you so much and It was your dad who murdered her. Who's next? Seemed that fun. Somebody's dead wife just yelled taxi. In court documents, Miss Kistler claims, Miss Parks posts made her appear quote dangerous and untrustworthy. What?

A horrible and devious person, not human, possessed of dark and malevolent forces, an evildoer, and one who intentionally inflicts pain and suffering on others. Hey, give her a break. She's not a real estate agent anymore. Sounds like she'd do numbers on Twitter though. Oh yeah, man. She should start a podcast for sure. Get in there and posts like that. You've been doing very well.

She's seeking damages, aggravated damages, and a permanent injunction against Ms. Parks, publishing further such posts because she, quote, had no genuine belief in the truth of the words at the time that they were published and did so with, quote, the purpose of injuring the plaintiff's reputations. She didn't really believe I was an evil wizard. She was calling me an evil wizard. She was trying to ruin my reputation as a good wizard. She knows I'm a good wizard.

Miss Parks from Clyde North describes herself as a spiritual practitioner, neuro-linguistic programming teacher, certified timeline therapist and podcastos. None of those things are real jobs. No. Says she is quite a leading voice for the next generation. Of what? Of what? Yeah. Like all? All of it? I speak for zoomers.

Because no one else will. She charges $2,000 for six weeks of over-the-phone timeline therapy or the same amount for a one-day in-person course focused on quote energetic healing. I assume that's the Reiki, you know. So the timeline therapy thing I looked up and this is when she like works through any trauma that you might have from your past lives. So she'll be like, I think you're maybe repressing the fact that you were gaslit by Akanartan and then you'll be like, I was gas lit by Akanaten and I need to let go of that. And then you get to move on with your life and then you healed.

And it only cost you $2,000 for a series of phone calls where someone told you that Napoleon was rude to you. You get to part with those memories you didn't know you had and $2,000. I assumed that timeline therapy would just be sitting down with you and like getting you to delete tweets that aren't funny enough, that might get you fired in the future. You know, that kind of stuff. Sitting down to both read the Michael Crichton book timeline and watch the movie adaptation of the same name.

It's probably sitting down with you and working through all of the things that you assume are like Mandela effect, retcon things happening in your personal universal timeline. I swear soup used to be spelled with two O's. Wow let me, ooh I'm gonna just gonna help you out with that. She also runs a three,000 course on quote, growing your soul-based business. That's a, I use the devil. It's a builder and scam, scam.

Are you Satan? Do you do a lot of trading in souls? I'm gonna teach you how to drop ironclad contracts for your fiddle competitions. In a series of posts included in the court documents, Miss Parks warns her 3,000 plus Instagram followers, well, I need time about Miss Kisler. Quote, if there is anyone who has in the past seen her due to my own recommendation, I am so deeply sorry for only $2,000 I can help you work through that. She took thousands of dollars from me. She even looked after my deeply, sorry, for only $2,000 so I can help you work through that.

She took thousands of dollars from me. She even looked after my zero business account, Ms. Parks wrote. Why do they keep restating this part of the story over and over again? Like it's so weird. Yeah. Change the fucking password. Like, she had access to my quick books account. What are you fucking talking about? Shut up. There's only one way she would have known that.

She generated six unpaid invoices. Your occult magic's. I have sent close to 50 people to this woman. I was stuck in this dark void. She enslaved me to 50 people to this woman. I was stuck in this dark void. She enslaved me to her darkness! Imagine saying this, well no she was posting this online, she wasn't saying this in court. Like, do you think with people like this once you're doing defamation and you get into court? And they say, hey, what's up with your aura and your timeline cleansing business?

Like, do you have to still pretend, like you think it's all legit? I like you're saying when they drop K-Fabe and be like, yeah. I know, I'm just fleecing people. But don't tell them. They say, oh, you know, it's just like, it's just a business. People know, people do it for fun. Just be the fun the fun the fun the fun the fun the fun the the the the the the the the the the the tara tara tara tara tara tara tara tara tara tara tara tara tara tara tara. It's just, tara. It's just, tara tara. It's just, tha. It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, tapes. tape. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta., people do it for fun. It's a fun thing people do. Just a fun, just like, you know. Tarot cards are just for fun, it's just for the girls.

You know? Quote, if you are someone that has had an aura clearing from her, or you've had a reading from her, I urge you. Take her off all your social media platforms She she claims some sort of psychic link through Instagram I've noticed that you're still following this dark a malevolent force It's not really a good look I told you about how she possessed by spirit right and you still you still following her? Yeah, I'm like I remember DM you about it. I can actually see because it's the last DM I sent you, so... Strange. Maybe it's the refollow bug, where it makes you refollow people. That's probably what it was. But that would explain why you kind of feel like you're stuck in a dark

void right now. I told you about my enslaved spirit and my zero account, right? Enslaved, 18 months, dark and leveled psychic forces, zero, zero account for the invoices? Zero with an X, you know? Don't act like you don't know, Tina. Don't act like you've not used zero before. Look, we've all used zero. Miss Park's followers posted messages of support, including one who wrote that she had previously cancelled an appointment with Miss Kisler, and cancelled culture.

Quote, it was money, and also I didn't feel 100% safe doing it. My intuition obviously protected me. It was money. It was money. She just didn't want to pay $2,000 or whatever. Another wrote, As I watched your stories, I had an image of a snake behind you. I felt sick, but as I tuned into it more, I can see it's behind you as in the past. Oh, okay. I hope that makes sense.

I hope so too. I hope so too. This just didn't mean to put that last part on the message. Fuck, I hope this makes sense. They were doing an audio transcriber while they were driving. I hope that makes sense. Is that right? I just kind of said the first thing that came to mind, but hmm.

I just, like, I love this shit. I love like, stuff like that where somebody says, hey, some, you're, this competing psychic was possessing my spirit and it was a bad time for me and you should unfollow them and someone just gets to be like, I'm part of this too. When, oh I watched your Instagram stories and I saw a snake behind you and I was like, oh that's scary, that's scary. It's probably someone possessing you. But now that you've, you, you, you, you, you, you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that's that you've that you've that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that, that, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's's scary, it's probably someone possessing you. But now that you've explained it to me, it's a snake that's in your past. Damn thanks. That's... I should have a snake in a bathroom or something. This was the warning she needed.

It's just, I think it's a very fun form and probably less harmful than things like you know Q&on stuff like that. Or like Harry Potter fandom. Yeah yeah because you know basically it's just a whole industry of creative writing prompts and isn't that beautiful you know. I don't think any money ever exits this industry it's sort of an aruboros of stars around. The pet psychics are spending their money at the crystal shops. The people that sell the crystals are spending their money on chakro alignment. The chakro alignment people are spending their money on beads and the beads people are

getting pet psychic services. And I think that's wonderful. Yep. The people that make loose, very soft pants are making a fucking mint out of this, but then they're spending all that money on that stuff the way they're like, it's just like weed, but it's legal, and it doesn't do anything. That money goes into bad paintings of dolphins. We pulp up all of the old Miss Cleo brochures and turn them in the new tarot cards. The circle of life continues.

You know. Miss Kisler replied, I'm getting an astral realm cleanse of my oric field. I'm pretty certain. Is that a brag? You shouldn't be doing that to yourself. I get a doctor to do that. Absolutely. I'm getting an astral realm cleanse of my auric field.

Now I understand these concepts. You know, the astral realm is a sort of meta realm above our own, where things are psychic energy and thoughts and forms and spirits. And the auric field is the aura that your body generates to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to do to do to do to do to do that to do that that that that to do that that that to do that that that that that that that to do to do to do to do that that that that that to do to do to do that to do to do that that that that to do that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the tha th doctor th doctor th doctor tho tho thocta thocta thocta the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the doctora.octa.octa the the thocta thocta that that tho energy and thoughts and forms and spirits and the oric field is the aura that your body generates. I don't understand how these concepts intersect. Hmm. Are you getting your aura cleansed while you're in the astral realm? Are you using the powers of the astral realm to cleanse your oric field? I think she's, she's entering the astral realm and then cleansing her own auric field, you know. Yeah. Like how Goku went into that the time chamber to train so he could fight

cell or freezer. It just sounds like having an out-of-body experience so you can braid your own hair, you know? You know? Oh, I can't reach this spot on my back. Meal, me, me, me, me. Perfect. Perfect stuff, you know? The case will be heard by a judge only because he wants, he won't be able to hear anything over a jury laughing. Yeah, they went through like 50 people. All right, everyone thinks this is dumb as shit. This is dumb? Yeah. So I am extremely prejudiced against psychics. Do you believe that you would like to

contact a horse in the astral realm? Oh you wouldn't undo either. All right you're out. Juror number two, what is the current state of your oric field? Same three types of crystal. Which of the following crystals would you use to align the heart chakra? We're going to have to move this case to the tweed. He's going to the northern rivers. Get a fair hearing. Jury of their peers.

Yeah, but then they've got to find people who have not used the services of either. the services of the services of the services of the services of the services of the services of the services of their peers. People have a dude laughing circles. But then they've got to find people who have not used the services of either of these witnesses. A very clear division in the town. Your Honor, I see a snake behind the witness box. It's no good. I'm gonna to carry that. I'm going to see where you're going with this I'm warning you. This better be relevant to the case. I'll allow it but this figurative imagery better result in something concrete. Oh boy. You're on, you're on the eyes. This is how,. This is how it used to work, right? You're on thin ice, Councillor Jones. Namest day. The law. Yeah, largely. I was thinking about letting you go off free, but then I had a dream last night that two eagles were fighting and the...

I don't know, that just seemed like it was a bad sign so we're gonna have to kill you. Death by eagle, here we go. I had a dream that there was a silhouette of an evil man and now that I look at you and squint, because I'm not looking good for you. Can we get the defendant backlit please? Can we get some horns on this guy? Folks, that's right on the buzzer. That's exactly one fresh piping hot hour of podcast.

Oh hell yeah. Isn't that what you want? Um, doing the Ex Ventura. We filled the pod up to the, exactly at the level. We've kind of held the pod jar still for it for it to stop swishing about in the container. That's it, one hour. But for now, I'm too sleepy for meeting all of this rotisserie giraffe. I'm about to go into a feast coma. Imagine how if you kept the neck and the head on and you put that giraffe on a rotisserie,

how far away from the coals it would have to be to allow the head to freely spin. I was just thinking about that. But of course they can actually strap it. Strap the neck to like the back. You could actually twtime to cook it. It does. You get a more even sort of cook on there. That's beautiful stuff. Well, thank you so much for joining us.

And we'll see you next week, or maybe we'll see you on the bonus episode if you choose this week of all weeks to sign up for the old Patreon. Maybe you will. That's a great idea as well because it'll be just the start of the month's worth of Patreon money. That's true. Yeah. That's true.

Because you're a clever consumer. I know that about you. A conscientious consumer only going to the finest psychics. You know? Us. Well, that's it everybody. Bye-bye. Enjoy. you