Boonta Vista - EPISODE 217: Meer Denaro Meer Problemen

Episode Date: September 16, 2021

Theo, Andrew, and Ben select from all the news of the world to bring you: massive chicken litigation, troubling English bean crime, ancient artefacts inside an alligator, building cities out of astronaut blood, and Dutch cops not at all getting their man. *** Outro: Mars Will Never Be Free Until the Sands Run Red With Earther Blood - Barge With An Antenna On It

Hello and welcome, Bonta Vista. Episode 217, I am Ben and I am here on the Australian political podcast, Buntavista. Ready to talk about the latest Australian political news. Australia is bored a ton of submarines or has said they're going to buy a ton of submarines or something similar is happening. Andrew, how do you feel about this? It's like, hey, we were already meant to be getting some submarines? I remember this news from five years ago. 50 billion dollars worth submarines. And, uh, uh, little Chrissy Pine. That's what you do when you're on a political podcast.

Little, little Chrissy Pine. That's what you do when you're on a political podcast. Little, little Chrissy Pine, he wanted... You make a thought of how his voice sounds real bad. I feel like we never did that. Yeah, that's politics. That's politics. He does sound the worst. But he can't help that probably. Yeah. But don't worry because he hooked us up with the subs. For South Australia jobs of the boys, except now I believe we've signed an agreement to throw all of those submarines into a big trash can, no more jobs than boys. The old news.

Those French submarines that we bought last time. Yeah. And it's such a waste of money because then you also have to go into like a hundreds of millions of dollar contracts to buy a trash can big enough to put the submarines in. It's just... They're nuclear so you're gonna get the concrete ones. Yeah. Well no the French ones weren't nuclear. Oh that were the diesel ones yeah. So they're regular style. Well the reason that it was taking so long, I'm sorry that we're actually doing the podcast. The reason it was taken so long. No is because we said, we want some submarines, we want toys for the bathtub.

France, you guys are good at making submarines. And they said, we, we have the, how you say, nuclear, submarine. This is the main kind of submarine. And we said, oh, nuclear, yuck. Why don't you make us some of the old time he wants nuclear? And they said, oh, this is very, how, how, how, how, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, this is very, th, th, th, th, th. th, th, th, th. they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. We's, they, they, they, they, they, their, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the th. the th. the th. the th. the the the the th. the the 't nuclear? And they said, oh, this is very, how you say, anachronistic. And then they spent all of this time trying to fucking reverse engineer their old non-nuclear submarines and that's why it's been taking like five years to deliver. And then we said, I had never heard that. So instead of buying diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel diesel the the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old th. th. tum. tum. tum. tum. tum. tum. ty. ty. the ty. th. the the the the the the the the I had never heard that. So instead of buying diesel submarines that exist that are a real thing that...

We said, build the ones you don't build anymore, and it's taken so long that we said, actually, we're tearing up that agreement at massive expense to ourselves, so we can get nuclear submarines from America. You have to understand that at the time we wanted Les Submarine Classic. But now we want... Sounds nuclear. What's French for new? Niveau? Yep, that's it. Going with that. Fuck. Theo is also here. Hey. Ospole. There's probably... The poll. It's probably...

The Prime Minister probably made a gaff in one of these things, we could probably make fun of that for a good 45 to 50 minutes. Yeah, I think we should probably play the Joe Biden clip, him forgetting Scott Morrison's name. We would call you our friend from Down Under. Look, I mean, that is funny. And then we could go like, put in like five air horns afterwards. I spent, I spent a while being like that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. mean, that is funny. And then we could go like, put in like five air horns afterwards. I spent, I spent a while being like, you know, pretty sad that Biden got elected for a few different reasons, one of which he is one million years old.

And also, which, look, now that I'm saying it sounds pretty ageist, you know. But, um, now that he's in sounds pretty ageist you know but um now that he's in there I'm like I'm having a good time because he doesn't care about anything and all the stuff he does is very funny I kind of thought he'd mentioned like leather jackets and hot rods more and he's not been doing that a lot he's not talked about having one of those combs that's like a flip knife but it's a comb he I thought that would happen. Hasn't been eating anything like the number of ice cream cones he was eating on the

campaign trail, which makes me ask, was that just a political stunt? Do you not actually love ice cream? He couldn't get enough of them. He couldn't get enough of One thing on the trail, another when they're in office. Now I'm getting down to business, I gotta manage my diet, you know? This isn't campaign season. This isn't the brief two to four year long election campaign. 11 to 12 year, 6 to 9 trillion dollar campaigning process they go through every time. I mean he has been trying to get elected president since like the 70s right. Well since the 30s I think yeah. I started working at that pool and he was like you know what I'm going for the presidency.

Back then you would have found him eating an ice cream cone on doing the Charleston on top of a flagpole you know. Oh man. Damn we still got it. Look that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was just that was just that was just that was just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the thirty th. the the the 30 the 30 the 30 the 30 the 30 the 30 the 30 the 30 the Ch- the Ch- the 30 the 30 the 30 the 30 the 30 the 30 the 30 the 30 the 30 the 30 the 30 the 30 the 30 the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thirty thirty. thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirt. thi. thi. 30s. 30s. 30s. 30s. 30s. th. 30s. th 30s. thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty to get away from cord pop. Damn, we still got it. We've still got it! Look, that was just a joke. That was a bit, if this is your first episode, this is not a politics podcast. We're actually here to do something much more important,

and that is, of course, as a sort of vehicle for public service announcements, which leads us into our classic segment the PSA segment. Mm-hmm. Thank you. You've got to put something in there. I've only had one whole purpose stinger that goes for anything. This is a story from the ABC now. This is the American ABC. Oh, the fake one. Yeah, the fake one. No idea what story from the ABC. Now this is the American ABC. Oh, the fake one. Yeah, the fake one. No idea what that could stand for. And as we demonstrated the last episode, I'm not going to try and make something up off the top of my head. The, uh, the American Bureau of Communications, maybe.

Yeah, that sounds right. The headline here is, Have you bought chicken in the last decade? You may be eligible to collect a payment. All around the country. People going, now let me think. Did I eat chicken? Have I?

The spring of 2014. Well, you know how time gets away from you. Oh, I thought I'll buy a chicken. It's 2007. What did they say it was? Chicken? A decade? Century, decade? Oh, I don't know. I mean it sounds familiar. Sounds so familiar. If you bought any chicken product in the United States from January 1st 2009 through through December 31st, 2020, you may

be eligible to receive money from class action settlements totally $181 million. Any chicken product? So we're talking either down pillows. We're talking your Mick chicken. I mean, yeah, well that's kind of what I'm wondering. Is this like going into your local Walmart and buying four kilos of chicken breast versus going into KFC and getting some a zinger or whatever the fuck? I don't know if that yeah, I don't know if that counts. The defendants include Fieldale Farms Corporation,

George's Farms, Marjack poultryltry, Pico Foods, Pilgrim's Pride Corporation, and Tyson's Foods. According to the settlement notice, the corporations are accused of conspiring to stabilize the price and supply of chicken, violating federal and state consumer and antitrust laws. However, the defendants have not admitted any liability and dispute the claims. It sounds like they've been charged with clucketeering. Anyone who purchased fresh or frozen raw chicken, not including chicken marketer, oh, that's interesting. Not including chicken marketed as halal, Kosher, Free Range or Organic.

Oh, the real chicken. So if you can't... If... That's the chicken we've got to put to the side and say, don't fuck that chicken up. That chicken's got to be certified. This is the chicken that we've not price fixed. Price, these ones normally, all of the rest. I wonder if that's the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, that's, that's, that's, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the chicken, thi, the chicken, if thi, if thi, if thi, if thi, if thi, if thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, if thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.. thi. thi. that's, that's, that's, ti. that's, ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti of the rest. I wonder if that's because the chicken market at Haleal Kosher, Free Range, or Organic, those are all the kinds of chicken with a price that is higher than the price of stabilized chicken.

That's premium chicken, yeah. That's as good as that should get. That's chicken we didn't drop on the floor at the factory. So anyone who purchased any of those, and not any from that second list, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thee, tho, tho, tho, the, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thean, thean, thean, thean, or thean, or thean, or thean, or that, or thoan, or thoan, thean, the any from that second list, are in the following states is eligible. California, District of Columbia, Florida, Hawaii, Iowa, Kansas, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New toxin, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Carolina, North Carolina, Oregon, Rhode Island, after July, 15th, 2013, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah and Wisconsin from January 2009, except for Rhode Island, which is from, wow, they said that in the list.

He's just doubling up on yourself there. And for Pilgrims? I don't know what that last part there means. And for Pilgrims, from January 1st, 2009 to December 31st, 2020. I assume it's from Pilgrim's Pride Corporation chicken. If you have purchased it from them for those dates. Yeah. Wow.

So now I imagine when we were starting this story that it was going to be like a situation like the chicken processing plan episode of the X-Files, where I think they were murdering people and then processing their bodies? Is that what happened? I don't recall that episode and I also don't think that's what's happening here. Okay. Yeah, this is not a human body's being turned into... It's not the price fixing and that. No, no, it's just the price fixing, I think. The alleged price fixing. Okay, but... So the other companies though, they're up to July 31st 30 31 31 31, thiiiii 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. They're th. th. they're th. they're they're they're they're they the other companies though, they're up to July 31st, 2019 and Pilgrims is up to December 31st, 2020. So how do they price fix by themselves for another year and a half?

What I posit is that they kept going with the mincing bodies thing. Right, so they're like we're done with price fixing. Yep. It's time to put a little bit to squeeze out of this. Yeah, human remains. We've got to get rid of all the pilgrims' employees who knew about the price fixing somehow. It's a natural solution. Yeah.

Yeah. The United States District Court for the Northern District of Illinois must approve the settlements before any money is paid. You can find out if you are eligible by visiting WWW.Overcharged for Chicken.com or by calling Is this like the official mechanism for fighting out if you are part of a class action lawsuit? Well, I mean, like a class action lawsuit is not being put together by the government. Like, obviously, this is being put together by a lawyer or a legal team and then a bunch of plaintiffs who have come together. So this is not like, it is the official way of dealing with this,

but it's not an official mechanism in the sense of the state has not set up the website www.overcharged for Chicken.com. It's the lawyers in charge of this. If you are listening to this and you are an American who has who is from and I'll read that list of states again. Please. California District of Columbia, Florida, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Massachusetts, Michigan, Nebraska, Florida, Hawaii, Illinois, Illinois, Illinois, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, New toxin, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, and Wisconsin.

If you have purchased chicken in that period, and you are going to get on board, please, please, let us know. I would dearly love to know what will cover this. So they reckon that that the suit the suit that the suit the suit the suit the suit the suit that the suit the suit the suit the suit the suit the suit the suit the suit the suit the suit the suit the suit that the suit the suit the suit that that that that that that that that that that that that the suit is the suit is that's is that's, that's, tooan, too, tooas. tooas. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. that. that. that, that, that, toooooooo. too. too. too. too. tooo. tooooooo. to. to. to. to love to know what will cover this. So they reckon that the suit is worth 181 million dollars. There's about 330 million people in America. So if every single American, which is obviously not who this pertains to, but if every single American did it, you'd be looking at 50 cents each. That's two quarters. That's two quarters. That is two quarters. That is two quarters, that's absolutely right. Or five dimes.

Uh, but obviously this is only like 13 or 14 states. California and New York are in there, so that's a big, fucking chunk of the population. Florida's in there as well. That's a massive chunk of the population. So I reckon, oh, and Oregon. From looking at this, I reckon this is probably two-thirds of the US population. About 90% of those people have probably purchased chicken in the last 10 years. So you're not getting a ton of money. No. Not be getting a buck. I mean you might get $10 out. of this. And this is relevant. I the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their not. I thi. I thi. I thi, not thi, I thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm not be thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I is probably th. I is probably thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. From thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I theeeea. I thea. I thea' thi. thea' thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I ththis. You might get 20 bucks. But I would dearly, dearly love if you listen to this and this is relevant to you. Hop on board, find out.

So I'm looking at W.W.W. Overcharge for chicken.com. You know, pretty middling website design. Well, you would say that because you're a professional design. Yeah, it doesn't have like chickens, like a raw whole chicken with like the chicken wingtips follow your mouse pointer around the screen. They do have photos of raw chicken in several forms just in case you're not really sure what a chicken product looks like. Oh, the pink stuff from the supermarket. Got it.

So it says here, you know, you can file your claim here. I would also note that the responsive behavior is not working very well. If you purchased chicken products, photo of chicken breast, photo of a whole chicken wings, you could be eligible to receive money from a $180 million settlement. So that then, you know, describes the whole thing to you. I would note there are many, many more chicken processes in the settling defendants list on the website than were listed in the news article. Yeah, certainly. It lets you know that your legal rights and options in these settlements are to submit a claim. th th th this th this this this th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi tho tho tho- thoe 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thate. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. tf. tf. tf. th. th. th. thooooooo., certainly. It lets you know that your legal rights and options in these settlements are to

submit a claim. This is the only way to be eligible to receive a payment from the settlements. Ask to be excluded. This is the only option that allows you to ever be part of any other lawsuit against the settling defendants concerning the released claims. So maybe you want to do your own lawsuit? Well, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their. their th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their they were were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were their they were th. the. the. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. theateatea. theeeeee.? Well, I think what's happening here is that the defendant to have agreed to settle, which is the ones we listed before, is only like five chicken producers. But the non-settling ones, the ones who have not settled yet, and I guess a part of ongoing litigation, is there's like five times as many. You can object.

Like Phoenix, right? Is that the guy? The anime court game? Yes. It's not bad. Okay. You may write to the court about why you don't like the settlements with the settling defendants. You can also attend the fairness hearing. You may request to speak in court about the fairness of the settlements. Your Honor, I am greatly enjoying rubbing these two quarters. Think of what I could do with four quarters. Or your final option is do nothing. If you do nothing,

you will remain a member of the settlement class and will not get a payment from the settlements. So that's pretty cool. If you file the claim, however, you're asked to give your information and then it's time for the broiler chicken consumer litigation questionnaire. It's my favorite game show segment. Question 1. Did you purchase one of the following chicken products for personal use in the United States from January 1st, 2009 through December 31st, 2020. Fresh or frozen raw chicken defined as whole birds with or witho without giblets. Where is it, it's giblets. It's giblets. I'm sorry everybody. Whole cut up birds purchased with the package or white meat parts including breast and wings

or cuts containing a combination of these. I'm going to say yes. Did you purchase the chicken product while a resident of one of the following states? California District of Columbia, Florida, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Nebraska, Nevada, New Mexico, New Mexico, North Carolina, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah or Wisconsin? It's gonna be a yes. I'm gonna say yes. If you're listening, don't, don, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did the chicken, did the chicken, did the chicken, did the chicken, did, did. Did, did. Did, did. Did, did. Did, did. Did, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the the the the chicken, the the the chicken, the the chicken, the the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken, the chicken South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah or Wisconsin. It's going to be a yes. I'm going to say yes. If you're listening, don't let them know. Don't let them know about this. Three, are you filing this claim for yourself or a business that you represent?

Uh, business, I'm going to say. Yeah. In general. The business of getting that money, am I right? Question 4, in general, from January 1st, 2009 to December 31st, 2020, did you purchase the chicken products monthly during this entire period? Yeah. Yeah. Were you buying, wait, are you on a monthly chicken budget?

I mean, like, if you're buying, if you bought one chicken breast in a 10-year period, that would be strange to me. But if you're like, oh, I'll get some, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to the to the to to to to the to th. I, thirty, to to to to to thirty to to to thirty thirty to thirty, to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to-1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1, to to thirty, thirty, thirty, th. To th. To th. To th. To th. To th. I' th. I' th. I' thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty-a. I' thirty-s. I' thirty-s. I' thirty-s. thirty-1. thirty-1, thirty-1, thirty-1, thirty-1. I' thirty year period, that would be strange to me. But if you're like, oh, I'll get some thighs for this week, get some wings maybe. You're purchasing them regularly. Yeah, what's your chicken allowance? You know? What is your best estimate of how many packages of the chicken products you purchased on a monthly basis? And for the months you purchased chicken products, what is your best estimate of how much you spent per month? I think it's important for all of us to ask ourselves what is my chicken budget? My chicken

budget is slim. I got a real slim chicken budget. Slim to none. Yeah. And now I just need to do a legally binding signature. Oh you should definitely forge that. And then we're all good. Leave an audio transcript of having done so on a publicly available episode of a podcast. Yeah. Well I'm looking forward to getting my two quarters in the mail. Yeah, please, for the love of God, right into us if you get any money out of this settlement as all. Get the chicken money. Let us know what you're going to do with your chicken money. I'm pretty sure I signed up for some Australian class action lawsuit against like Red Bull or something I don't know.

They end up maybe getting like 10 bucks. I might be making up that it was Red Bull but it was somewhere I was like, hey, I think I've bought one of those and I was like great I'm gonna get some fucking money. Surely they shouldn't be advertising it so so thoroughly you know the more people get involved the lesser is to go around. That is true. It's a real prisoner's dilemma. Okay. Sure. I don't think that applies at all. Hi everybody it's me. It's Theo. Now I guarantee you I'm more afraid of recording this promo than you are ever listening to it, so hear me out. If you haven't already, maybe check out our Patreon. It's a great way to support the show and it gives us the ability to actually dedicate time to this thing.

You'll get all of our bonus episodes, it's over 300 extra episodes in total, and we'll set up a feed over there with over their their tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. thi, to, to, to, thi, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, maybe, maybe, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to this ever again. You'll also get access to our Discord, which honestly is turned into a nice and funny place full of mostly normal people to hang out with. So that's Patreon.com slash Bunter Vista. Check it out. Chicken is a kind of thing that you eat. That's so true. And sometimes there's another kind of thing that you eat. the the the the thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu thu thu thu. thu. thu. thu. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thu. thu. thu. thu. thu-a thu-a thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi. thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. thue. And sometimes there's another kind of thing that you eat. That's right. It can only be one thing. The humble bean. It's time. Sorry, Andrew, I paused there to make sure you were ready to... Oh, I'm ready. It's time for Bean Watch.

I'm so we would have accepted the Polish National Lantern. I mean, really, look, can I just go back and say, perhaps we should have had? Oh, fuck, goddam, you're right. The bean to bar theme. How do I forget? I thought I was going to get yelled up for doing the wrong one. Remember we went to the Discord to ask for like all of the, all of the segments we've ever done?

Hmm, that was a mistake. And it just went, odd and odd, and I think we could have gotten the entire time without even mentioning bean-de-bar. Yep. I was going to do a second bead-to-shaired, but uh, what are what th-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. Oh, thi-s. Oh, thi-o-s. Oh, th-s. And, th-s. And, tho-s. And, th-s. And, and th-s. And, and th-s. And, and th-s. And, and th-s. And, and th-s. And, and th-s. And, th-s. And, th-s. And, th-s. And, th-s. And, th-s. And, th-s. And, th-s. And, I-s. And, th-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-a-s-s-a-s-a-s-s-s. And, th-a-a-s. And, th-a-s. And, th-a-s. And, th-s. And, th-s. And, the awful newspaper, The Daily Record, one of the UK tabloids, and I want you to pretend, because I can't actually do it, that I'm reading this entire story out to you in a Chris Morris the day-to-day voice. I can have a go if you would prefer that. Oh yeah, please, by all means, go for it. Baked bean warning as police ask shops not to sell tins to kids in Tick-Tock Trend.

Thank you, that's beautiful. Now you have to do the whole article that way. Shops have been urged not to sell large quantities of baked beans to kids to stop a bizarre new Tick-Tock trend. The new social media fads seems teens emptying cans of beans onto doorways in so-called beaming, forcing police to step in and ask shopkeepers to take action. Video circulating on Tick Tock under the hashtag Bean Bandits show youth smearing the breakfast food onto doorsteps, driveways, and even cars. Officers have now urged local shops to be on the lookout for kids buying lots of baked beans

in a bid to stamp out the bizarre behavior. Oh, how are they? They got rid of all their guns and now this is what passes for youth crime. Have we ever spoken on the podcast about the knife angel? Maybe. Excuse me? It's a traveling statue made out of 10,000 confiscated lives. Yeah, we have. Yeah, so to dissuade kids from doing knife crime, but of course now,

we're gonna need to make the bean angel. You know, sometimes you got a tin of beans and it's like 10,000 knives when all you need is a spoon, you know? No, I don't follow that. West Yorkshire police issued a statement and said, quote, It has come to the attention of the police that a new trend has started by groups of use called

beaning. This involves youth throwing the contents of a can of bean over properties, very similar to the trend of throwing eggs at properties. Yeah, with an egg you can launch that bad boy a long way. Yeah, beans you've kind of got to, um... You do need the spoon to get them all out of the bottom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like throwing a can of beans at something, very easy.

Throwing the contents of a can of beans at something, quite hard. That's a bean splash weapon, as it would tha tha Dungeons and Dragons. You're lying in your bed at night and you hear that that tale tale sound of like a spoon scraping over like the ribbed inside of a tin of beans. Oye love I'm being beaned oh yes I's bloody kids are back and they're gonna be in the bloody windows again they're bein' me Morris Minor out there! It's only the second time this month my reliant robin's been beamed. They've gummed up the third wheel they have, don't turn them more.

This is, um, this is still the quote from the West Yorkshire Police, okay? If you work in a shop, please can you be aware of youths buying large quantities of cans of beans? If you have children living at home, please be mindful if you see them removing cans of beans from the family home. You're just like, what are you up to then, love? What have you got an out handful of cans of beans? Hungry. I'm gonna go upstairs and eat them. I'm not going beaning mum. Seeing you a kid, what's that in your pocket? What are you hiding? Patting down their pants and getting to the... Is that four full cans of beans? No, it's liquorish. It's liquor-in- I'm having it for myself.

In fairness, it's a game boy. I think that this is one of the lesser things you can do with a tin of beans. You could kill somebody with an unopened tin of beans. They make sure choice to turn it into a non-lethal weapon. They're adding an extra step to turn it from a lethal weapon into a non-lethal weapon. They're adding an extra step to turn it from a lethal weapon into a non-lethal weapon. Yeah, you might slip in the beans or throwing your doorstep.

Yeah. Oh, oh, a beaned again, Marjorie. Oh, bloody L. I've only landed on me ass again because there's some bloody beans on the doorstep. Instead of, oh, bloody thee the the thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thii thi thi thi! thi! thi! thi! to to to thin' to to to to to to to to to to to thin' to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thin thin to thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' the the the thean thean thean thean thean thean thean to thean to to to to to to to to to had my head caved in by a can of thrown beans what hit me in the bonts. You know? Be thankful. It could happen to you. It could happen to you. It's called beating and the next victim could be your family. Oh. I'm imagining a like a, like a, a daily telegraph article about the victim of an attack who was dead now.

Been and gone, you know? Oh fuck, that's good. They'd have a field day. They would have an absolute field day. All right, we're back into Chris Morris Mode here. It comes after police in Surrey launched an appeal last month after the village of Wannors was terrorized by so-called bean bandits. So-called by who? This article? In one picture four empty cans can be seen discarded near a doorstep started with little orange beans.

Another... cans can be seen discarded near a doorstep studded with little orange beans. Another... You have to specify that the beads are little. We know what the size of bead is. If you're making them sound less lethal, honestly. Little cute beans. Tiny baby beans. Another shows a grey car with source dribbling down the driver's window, leaving an unsightly orange smudge.

Oh my god, imagine. What could you do? You know? This is just like, part of my first reaction to this is, well, this isn't real. Like, this is one of those things where it's happened to two people. This is, this is like the shovel for the UK or something. We might have been tricked. We're reading whatever the UK's equivalent of an onion is.

I bet they'd call it a brown apple or something because they're weird over there. But like even if this is real and this is happening, shut up. You just take take your hose out. Blang you're done. Yeah, it's not like beans have a particularly acidic property to them where it's like eating off the clear coats of your car. The police are all busy cleaning up where it's like eating off the clear coats of your car. The police are all busy cleaning up the beaning. I'm trying to catch the local beaners and they've got no time to chase ducks around the meadow. That's true. Sort of- The swans are unchecked at this point.

Everyone's picnics are being ruined by swans. Nobody to run in sort of like fast motion after a particularly sexy group of girls going to the beach. The lady with big knockers you know? Yeah. They're coming, they're coming back to the police station you know at the end of the day they're exhausted they're covered in sticky orange grime. One of them takes us hilarious it's all hard off and says, I haven't heard the Benny Hill theme in weeks. But I don't know what to think. I saw a vicar chasing a lady in her garters,

and I didn't even have the energy to go in one door, but then come out fromthe same door. It was horrible. That door had beans on. A patterned my horse kicked me on the bum and I just kept walking. Couldn't even turn around and shake my trunching at him. It was awful. That's poor guys. I hope they're okay. Yeah, I was actually thinking like, that's like one of the only problems with like, um, with beaning.

No, uh, no, I was gonna say it with like, um, with egging stuff, right? It's if your car gets egged and you just leave it for too long? It does actually, it fucks up your paint, yeah. Yeah, it fucks your paint job up, uh, proper. Does that happen with beans? Well, actually they're slightly acidic, right? Well, yeah, if they're beans in tomato sauce, then yes, tomato sauce is quite acidic. I said that jokingly before, that I thought about it. Is it the acid or the proteins?

What's going on? It's the acid. It's just, tomatoes, very acidic. But is there protein seed. Protein thing. Beans are also a high protein food. I don't think it's the same. I agree. If you're a food scientist and you listen to this podcast, turn it off right now because it's going to make you real mad.

Hey, look, why don't you, if you're listening to this at home, just do us a favor. Just do us a favor, go and get a couple the eggs, the eggs, the eggs, the eggs, tha,them for, what do you reckon, three days? A week. Just leave them for a week to be safe. Spray them off with the hose, let us know what happened. We are not legally responsible for your car. No, if you own a nice car, don't bother, but if you've got like a late 90s Day-Woo or a... A 1998 Heonde Excel. Oh yeah, 1998 to 2001, Hyoundo Excel. Yeah, just fucking let it rip on that horrible silver paint. Go for it.

You go one of Australia's beautiful extant, Nissan pulsars. Oh my god, any generation pulsar. Don't, don't put your eggs and beans on a triple S. Don't do that, you know. If you've got a late 90s early 2000s Mazda 1-2-1, just fucking let it rip. Just go crazy. What's gonna happen? You probably make the car better. Add some character at the very least. Maybe write something in eggs and beans and see what happens, you know? Yeah, that's a fun little craft project. We're like that guy from an art attack. Yes. He's also British.

And fucked up. Hmm. Oh, British people, don't they just make you, ooh. Doesn't a chill go down your spine when you see one or worse, hear them? Oh, creepy, you know, you see one coming over the horizon. That's a bad omen. And do we have another bad omen for you? You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground.

You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon. And you shall know that God is God. And bow down to his will. That's what I think whenever I see people discussing Morrissey on Twitter. I saw it, you fucking, quite tweeted one of those while I was eating my dinner before, about half an hour ago. And it was someone being like you don't understand. Morrissey's racist. Have you considered that he's important though or whatever? No, I haven't. He stinks. He's one of the ones that's very easy. You have, you

don't have to put any effort into separating the art from the, whatever. You could like, you couldn't throw a tin of beans in any city without hitting an artist who is a young man who has articulated the experience of being sad about being a young man. Yeah, he did it. But, uh, and he did a pretty good job of it. You can fight a million of those. Fuck Morrissey. Who gives you shit? The only thing I would go into bat for for the Smiths was fucking, what's that song

they did for Charmed? How soon is now? How soon is now? Do you mean, do you mean charmed the witch TV show? Yeah. How soon is now? You both give me blank stairs. Yep, that's because we have not watched the witch show for, uh, ever. Like, women aged 18 to 22. Check out the song, How soon is now by the Smiths.

It's got that bit that goes, m'am, boy. And there's a little like rotocabnet kind of tremelow thing going on there, something. I would tell you I probably just just answered that one right off the bat, though. It's pretty soon. Huh. Pound as soon as it gets. This story from WJTV. It turns out now is happening now. No you just missed it. This story from WJTV News Mississippi. One thousand-year-old artifacts found inside massive alligator killed at Eagle Lake. That's so fucking cool. Right.

Right. I'm just imagining an alligator with like a whole series of just disembodied skeleton hands inside it and they all have rings from like different periods in history. Yeah. And I'll pull back the curtain just a bit here, but I've discussed this before that so my main, my main driving ethos in choosing stories for this podcast is stuff that hasn't gone viral in some way right like I don't want shit people have already fucking talked about because that's all the internet is and it's so boring to me but every now and then I will see a story where I'm like how was this not one of the like endlessly screenshoted headlines yeah we should say as well

we absolutely appreciate all of the listeners of the show, all the friends, lovers, wives of the show, who see a story and say, that is right up your alley and I'm going to send it into you. But when you do send something into us, you've disqualified it from being included. And I can guarantee you that 15 other people have sent it in as well, which is absolutely the death sense for that story being read on the show as far as Ben is concerned. And I mean this in the nicest way possible, but if you've seen it, I have also seen it. Ben is online quite a lot.

I mean, for this job that I am paid for by you the listener. Thank you so much I spend a lot of time reading the stuff and I see all this shit I appreciate you send them in but Chances are I probably already seen it and if two people sent it to me. It's out. Yeah, although in saying that one of the stories that's That we will be coming to next actually was sent to us by a listener. So So I guess I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. Yeah, th. Yeah, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, I there, I'd th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is that that that that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that that that that that that that thi be coming to next actually was sent to us by a listener so. So I guess there's no... So I keep sending those stories in. Yeah, there's no lesson to be learned here really.

It's the theme of the podcast. There is no lesson to be learned anywhere. Four men won the battle against a 13-foot alligator that weighed more than 750 pounds. The gator was discovered to swallow some artifacts that could be more than a thousand years old. On September 2nd, Todd Hollingsworth, along with his brother, father-in-law and friend, killed the massive alligator at Eagle Lake in Warren County. They said took them hours to detain and load the gator onto the boat. Did they consider leaving the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator the alligator to detain and load the gator onto the boat.

Did they consider leaving the alligator alone? Why do they have to... Yeah, so... I didn't really get that hunting alligators for sport was a thing. Hmm. They seemed like they're just kind of hanging out a lot of the time. Yeah, yeah I guess, I don't know, I just thought like alligators got killed when they attack someone or threatening something or whatever but I guess people

are going out there on boats and killing them on purpose. When they've taken the hand of an old golf pro. Yeah. Exactly under those circumstances. The group took the alligator to red antler processing in Yazoo City. Yazoo! I believe that's come up on the podcast before as well. The owner, Shane Smith, found what's believed to be two Native American artifacts inside the animal. An atlatel, which was used before the bow and arrow, was invented, and a plummet were found inside the gator.

Smith said experts, quote, suspect it may have been traded down through the different tribes from around the great lakes. The forehunters believe this is the biggest gator they've killed during alligator hunting season in Mississippi. They plan to have a full-size mount of the animal creator. Well these guys fucking suck. We can say that off the bat. Fuck these guys. They're they're just like, oh well don't give a shit about this cool 1,000 year old artifact, but this gait is going to look awesome in the bar room. I've got disgusting horrible room underneath my house. Yeah, I'm going to remake the clock from Hook. I'm going to put a big flat sheet of glass over the top of him, so it looks like something from Freedom Furniture in 1999.

So that shit sucks, obviously. But also, this is just a powerful mystery that I don't think this article even begins to address. No, they're not grappling with it at all. Be like, oh, the artifacts might have been traded down. You're like, okay. But how get in Alligator? How come to be inside Alligator? How?

Were there any people bones in there? How, like? I didn't include it in this episode because it was too grim. But since you've said all of the key components of it, I have to now. Okay. Was there like baby bones in there or something? Not in this. So this is... sorry, this is a different story from... I guess it must have been from Louisiana, after the hurricane that just came through? But they found an alligator that had human remains in it around the spot that a guy went missing and

they're now confirmed that this guy was eaten by an alligator. Oh. How soon is now? How soon is now? How soon is now? I saw that. I don't believe in coincidences. Wow that's ominous and poor Tentius. They're like, no, that's just a story of a guy dying. That's, uh, but yeah, find an alligator with people in it, pretty fucked up. Finding an alligator with a thousand-year-old first nation sort of artifacts in there. Crazy.

Two of them, they're I got the taste for one and he's like, oh, I'm going back for another. Not bad. Two I am. Going back for more 1,000-year-old artifacts. Yeah, jump. I'm eating, I'm eating all kinds of stuff, but oh, nothing's hitting like that thousand-year-old artifact. Now I had that at lattle and now I must have a plummet. I don't know what that is. So either of you. I'm just going to explore plummet. Firing up a so gentle. It is to fall very quickly and suddenly. Yeah, I'm getting that. Thank you. It's so helpful. So a plummet seems to be a fishing weight. Okay. Oh. Oh.

Uh, so this is... Sounds like they caught more than they're expecting. This is not from Duck. that go. Plumets or weights were used to sink a fishing net in water to catch fish. Native men from southern New England often made the tools with which they worked, including theirtools with which they worked, including their own hemp nets.

For Native American groups living along river valleys and coastal areas, fish were a critical component of their diet. So there you go, I guess he, Mr. Gatorman was maybe eating some fish that were caught up in net, snaveled up a sinker, you know, while he was doing it. I mean, I don't think this was a plummet that was in use, unless this was an alligator that was a thousand years old. I'm still ready for that possibility. Oh, God, I hope that's fucking true.

Like some fucking staki stuff. This is the lord of the Rivers. Another story that I didn't include. So this is a new thing I'm doing when I talk about ones that I saw but didn't put into the episode. Talk about it. Yeah stories that aren't on the show, on the show. Yeah stories that are on the show of the show. There was a... There was gonna go a decrypted watch, but like wasn't quite enough about it it was funny but it was a guy who wrote into the Fortean society who we love describing how in like 2013 he saw a 12-foot tall deer with all wide eyes and he's like no it wasn't anything else that was just a 12-foot deer and I read that and I was like that's a fucking forest spirit

from meazerki that shit cool as hell. So maybe that's what that was and maybe that's what this is as well. Probably I mean I look do you have any evidence that it's not? I don't have any evidence either way sort of the Tom Bombadil of alligators. Yeah, the second oldest creature in Middle Earth. After... Speaking of first nation stuff, I've been reading a book called... His wife. Called the Apache Wars, the hunt for Geronimo, the Apache Kid, and the captive boy who started the longest war in American history. I didn't know you could read. I'm trying again. I'm giving

it a red hot go. I thought I would order a couple of books because I just look at my own bookshelf and I go, nah. There's nothing there as far as I can tell. Not for me. Not for me. And so I was reading about this thing, which is like all of the wars between all of the different tribes and the wars between like Native American tribes and Mexico and that they did like slave trading with the French and that it was all much, much, much more complex than like the traditional narrative of Native Americans were all just this kind of homogenous peaceful people chilling out until Europeans came and rolled over them basically. And there was this little passage that tickled me where they're talking about some people

who had made this this settlement. The Sonoita settlement, as it was called, consisted of seven ranches along the dozen miles of the valley floor. The census of 1860 listed dozen miles of the valley floor. The census of 1860 listed 51 citizens in the valley, identified as farmers, teamsters, laborers, a cook, a clerk, a shoemaker, a lawyer, a printer, and one simply as a quote, idiot. And I just think the representation is so important. Ah, it's a different type. Just, what I really want the representation is so important. It's a different type.

Just, what I really want to know about that. The thing I can't, I can't ascertain from the information that I have there is, was that a self-identified role or did somebody fill it in on behalf of the town? I think it might be the ladder. Yeah. So we got a lawyer, we got a printmaker, we got several farmers, and we got Jerry. Who's that guy over there pissing at his own mouth? What makes you think you're qualified to be our idiot? Well, I've been an absolute moron for IBM.

I've got my... Uttar Simulton, seven years as a contractor. Sat the dipshit exam in 2018. Failed, which means I super-passed. Straight to the head of the class. They put the big fancy cone on my head. I was ready to go. My goodness. Any other terrifying omens this week, Ben? Well yeah, so some omens have happened on the earth. And this one also did. Because it didn't happen in space.

This is a press release from the University of Manchester. Oy, we've we lost all our budget due to the epidemic of beanings. This is something they got done before the beaning started I think. Oh, okay. Affordable housing in outer space. Scientists develop cosmic concrete from space dust and astral blood. Yeah we're sending you up there to do some construction. You don't need to know the details until you get there. You might hear that that sentence and think, oh they're being euphemistic, they're using figurative language.

That, you know, say someone put their blood into something, their bloods weren't their tears. They're tears, they're saying. No, I I I I I I I I I I I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their they're they're thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. Yeah. Yeah. they're they're they're they're they're th. they're the. they're the. theean. thean. the. the. Yeah. th. Yeah. they're being euphemistic. They're using figurative language that, you know, to say someone put their blood into something, their bloods weren't their tears, were saying. No, I'm picturing the chicken grinder that Theo was talking about before. Well, you're absolutely right. They're putting the astronauts in there and making, you know, a reusable, nutritious paste. But are they sending them up pre-ground? Or more? I think this is a post-ground

situation. It seems wasteful. You got to supply the oxygen for the trip, you know, the food. You may as well just take them up in a tube of toothpaste style thing. Well, I was more like a corking gun kind of thing. Oh yeah, absolutely. But how would you seal it back up again? No! Transporting a single brick to Mars can cost more than a million British pounds. Making the future construction of a Martian colony seem prohibitively expensive. Scientists at the University of Manchester have now developed a way to potentially overcome this problem by creating a concrete-like material made of extraterrestrial

dust along with the blood, sweat, and tears of astronauts. Oh what are we going to stop pissing when we got up there? No more come in space, huh? You'll find out. In their study, published today in Materials Today Bio, a protein from urine, sweat or tears, could glue together simulated moon or mars soil to produce a material stronger than ordinary concrete, perfectly suited for construction work in extraterrestrial environments.

Steve, why do all your bricks smell so bad? You gotta drink more water, Steve, Jesus. The cost of transporting a single brick to Mars has been estimated about 2 million US dollars. Well, that's too much. meaning, future Marti a single brick to Mars has been estimated about 2 million US dollars. Well that's too much. Meaning future Martian colonists cannot bring their building materials with them but we'll have to utilize resources they can obtain on site for construction and shelter. In fairness though, that's usually the deal when you travel to somewhere very far away. Like, you know, they weren't, they weren't sending

people from Spain to like colonize other countries and loading up the ship with all the bricks they would need to build houses when they got there, right? That is true. Yeah. You got them. Yes. This is known as an Institute resource utilization or ISRU, and typically focuses on the use of loose rock and Martian soil known as regolith and sparse water deposits however there is one overlooked resource that will by definition also be available in any crewed mission to the red planet the crew themselves God damn that's grim hey hey first officer fortunado

I've got the most delightful cask of space someone to God now thio thio thio this is gonna thio this is this this is a a th th this is a th th th th th I I I I th is a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. T, th. It, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, th, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th is is a th is a th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, th, the the the the the-augh, the-a, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiole, the the the the the the the the the, Fortunato, I've got the most delightful cask of space I'm onto Dodd. Now, Theo. This is going to take a while. I get you've made a, that was a quite highbrow literary reference. Sure. But you're just sort of, did you make that connection just because there are bricks? Like in this situation, Fortunato is not part of the construction. He's just been entombed within the construction.

That's right. And I'm going to have to, once he's down in my space cellar, take the time to mince myself and turn myself into bricks, thereby exacting the perfect revenge. Worth it though, once his insult something into injury, I can't remember what the line is. In an article published tod remember what the line is. In an article published today in the journal Materials Today bio, scientists demonstrated the common protein from blood plasma human serum albumin could act as a binder for simulated moon or Mars dust produced concrete like material the resulting novel material termed Astrocrete and that's not that Greek island in space.

You know the one we're all aware of. termed Astrocrete and that's not that Greek island in space You know the one we're all aware of Yep The island of Crete it's in space Really fucked the the up with that one. I don't know anything that happened on Crete and so I can't get this joke going any further I was like the Minotaur was on Crete, but no the the Minotaur was on Minos. I think's that I that's I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's all all all all all all all all all all aware that's all all all all all all all all that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's I that's I that's I that's I that's I that's I that's I that's I that's I that's that's where I that's that's where I that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's all all all all allos. I think that's where anal sex was invented. Wow, they've got a really terrible space economy up there. There we go. Was uh, what's his name the Gold One? Was he on Crete? Who's the gold one? King Midas? There there. There we go. Right into us. Was, uh, what's his name, the Gold One? Was he on Crete? Who's the Gold One? King Midas?

Oh, no. Don't know. Right into us. Mailbag at Bonavista.com. You don't want him touching any of the stuff on your space shuttle. No, that's true. Ah, he's turned it all into a highly malleable metal. The resulting novel material termed astrocreate had compressive strength as high as 25 megapascals. Whoa!

Yeah, ask our discord about pascals. About the same time as the 20 to 30 megapascals seen in ordinary concrete. However, the scientists found that incorporating urea, which is a biological waste product that the body produces and excretes through urine, sweat and tears, could further increase the compressive strength by over 300% with the best performing material meaning from the best pierce having a compressive strength of almost 40 mega-pascals substantially stronger than ordinary concrete. To motivate the astronauts, they've got the little, you know

they got a little hand crank for the concrete mixer. And every time you crank it, the concrete mixer goes, I'm a thirsty boy. How do you work. They put a little fly drawn on the inside of the concrete mixer? Apparently that makes your aim way better. It's just one sicko scientist wandering around and going, oh, you know what, hey, it makes it so much better. Did you put some piss in there????? the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the concrete, the, their, their, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, the concrete, their their their their, their, their, the ci. And, their their, their what, hey it makes it so much better. Did you put some piss in there? When I got a little bit of your piss in there. Put a bit of piss in there. It's a beaker, so you know it's science. Just come on.

The scientists calculate that over 500 kilograms of high strength astrocreate could be produced over the course of a two-year mission on the surface of Mars by crew of six astronauts. If used as a mortar for sandbags and heat-fused regolith bricks, each crew member could produce enough Astrocrete to expand the habitat to support an additional crew member, doubling the housing with each successive mission. My piss brought you here and my piss is housing you. Montreza for the love of Musk, Montreza. Hmm. Trying to rebrand us is like a smart podcast? Yeah, I don't. Probably smart people. You know, read books and shit.

Am I going to have to change the tagline on all the branding again? Smart news for smart people. Ben I'm reading the city in the city at the moment. It's so good. What a wonderful book. Check out the author China Mievil. Oh, I have been, thanks to you. Oh, that was to the listenerthanks to you. I mean, the big shine head. Oh, okay. Yeah, I know you have, because I've lent you, his books.

And I presume you've been reading them. He's so good. God, he's so fucking good. And he's so fucking jacked. Insanely muscular man. He's a big boy. Yeah. That doesn't seem right. Like when Dave Chappel got really jacked up. Yeah. And it's like, oh, kind of changed your whole vibe now, you know.

Yeah. I mean, I'm sure they got the reasons and what they want to do with their own body is fine, but Jesus Christ, it's confronting. I'm not saying he doesn't look good, you know? Let him do his own thing. It's really stretching out also when when somebody just kind of disappears for a bit and then they come back massive transformation style as opposed to like boiling a frog type situation. Yeah I would probably compare like Ryan Reynolds to more of the boiling a frog situation where he just kept like

getting in progressively better and better shape over the course of years and years as opposed to Dave Chappel who was like I've I'm just I haven't been in the public eye for a couple of a the the th the th th th th for a th th for a th th th th of a th th th of a big th of a big th of a big th of a big th of a big th of a big th of massive th of massive th of massive th of massive th of massive to th of massive thi massive massive massive th. Mass of massive th. Mass of massive th. Mass of massive th. Mass of massive th. Mass of massive th. massive massive massive th. massive massive massive th. massive th. massive th. massive th. massive th. massive th. massive th. massive th. massive th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. A big big big big thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thii thii thii thi thi thi thi thi thi the course of years and years as opposed to Dave Chappelle who was like, I'm just, I haven't been in the public eye for a couple of years. And now I'm wider than I am tall. Yeah and all of a sudden, very ripped. Also coincidentally I'm getting divorced. Unrelated. Unrelated.

Totally unrelated. Now, okay everybody, we're all going to have to put on our thinking caps and try and figure out how to get from where we were to where we need to be. You know, Mars, it's a distant alien place. It's very strange to you and me. Anything could be happening out there. All kinds of freaky, weirdo stuff. Also, there's other places right here on this green earth where equally freaky things are happening. We call those places the Netherlands. Everybody, I'm from Holland. Isn't that beautiful, Andrew?

That was beautiful, Andrew. Kind of work with what you got, you know? Yep. We call those places the Netherlands. All of them. If you said to me, hey, I've heard there's a really fucked up place out there, I'd say, oh, the Netherlands? And then someone else might say, yeah, I've th, yeah, yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd th, I'd th, I'd thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'd thi, I'd thee, I, I'd th. Hey, I, I, I'd th. Hey, I, I'm. Hey, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th. th, th. th, th, th. Hey, th, th. th. Hey, the, the, the, tell, tell, tell, tell, tell, tell, tell, tell, tell, th. Hey, the, the, the said to me, hey I've heard there's a really fucked up place out there I'd say oh the Netherlands and then someone else might say yeah I've heard of a different fucked up place though and I'd go got it, the Netherlands. You're right, Holland. Yes. Ah Amsterdam I heard of that one. From a reliably informative English language Dutch news website, favorite of the show, Dutch News. N.L. Dutch police arrest a British F1 fan, mistaking him for Mafia boss. Sure. He looks very scary. The public prosecution department has confirmed that the man arrested by a heavily armed

police officers at a restaurant in the Hague on Wednesday was not the Italian mafia boss. They said he was. The man who said he was English and named Mark. You would say that, wouldn't you? Was taken out of the restaurant blindfolded and spent three days in the Vute high security prison before being released by judges. Unfortunately he did get the rope James Bond treatment. They did whale on his darts for a good three days.

Getting black bagged in the Hague for looking too British. He just, he did the little like Italian hand gesture at some pasta that he ate in a restaurant and then 20 cops moved in on him and then started wailing on his nards with a big bit of rope. It's him. Go, go, go, go. The public prosecution department issued a statement on Saturday saying that the man had been released after research into his identity, quote, was negative.

That's one way of putting it. Mark's lawyer, Leon Van Cleveve, and he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he research into his identity, quote, was negative. That's one way of putting it. Mark's lawyer, Leon Van Cleef said he had told police that the man was not Mateo Messina Denaro, who was wanted in Italy. I told them, if he is Capo de Tuiti Capi, then I am the Pope, he told the telegraph. The Dutch police immediately sweeping in to protect the telegraph. The Dutch police immediately sweeping in to protect the Pope. Maybe they don't do sarcasm, is that the problem? That might be it. Oh yeah, I'm definitely in the mafia. Get him! Get him! Get him! The public cross-accused department said it was required to act when the arrest request was made by the Italian authorities, but declined to comment on why the Italians was so sure this was Denaro or how they knew where they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew they knew the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Maybe. Maybe their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their toled. to told. toled. toled. toled. te. te. te. tole. te. te. te. te. tel. tell. tell. te. te. the arrest request was made by the Italian authorities, but declined to comment on why the Italians were so sure this was De Naro or how they knew where he was.

Is it because they contact him? said, we think we have your crime man? And they went, well, grab him with him and they went, we're pretty sure. He's doing the hand thing. Forty percent. He looks looks kind of similar but it's candlelit in there and his back is to us so hard to tell. Well, we blindfold him anyway, we see what happens. He asked for extra cheese. According to Van Cleef, Mark is originally from Liverpool and now lives in Spain. He has come to the Netherlands for the Zandvoot Grand Prix.

Of course he would. It's so good. Just a guy in a restaurant being like, my name's Mark. What's going on? No, I'm not in the mafia. My name's Mark. I like the race cars. What do you mean about the mafia? No, we are pretty sure you're Italian. I'm not Italian, mate. Oh God, it just...

This is a real... What's the word I'm looking for there? But it's all three of the peoples that we hate the most in one. A guy who is from Liverpool, which is where my mother and grandparents are from. Yuck. It's very funny to think of somebody going, no, you are definitely Italian. I think we'd know. Put this blindfold on.

He's speaking exactly like John Lennon. I think I'm just picturing Mark from Peep Show. Yeah. That's pretty much got to be it, right? He's got a good story out of it, though. I guess so. How is your trip? Oh, I got arrested.

Spent three days in a high security prison. Gotta go home. They said I was in the mafia, Jeremy. The mafia! You know, that's what he'd say. Hey there, it's Ben from this podcast. The... Andrew just dropped out at that recording session right at the very end. Um, I don't have anything more to say, but it felt weird just to abruptly end it and then go straight into the

outro so uh yeah don't really have anything to add I just wanted to say goodbye I hope you've had a nice time listening to the episode and I hope you're doing well yeah stay stay cool I guess told you're doing well yeah yeah stay stay, I guess. Lovely talking to you. Bye. I think. I I think. the the I think. the world. I think. the I'm the I think. I'm trying to try to to try. the to be a today. the