Boonta Vista - EPISODE 219: Free To A Wet Dome (Feat. Michael Hing)

Episode Date: September 30, 2021

Radio broadcaster, game show host and podcaster Michael Hing joins us to talk about: Making your spooky haunted house just very slightly too spooky, attempting to outcop the cops, and how many snakes is the normal amount to have in your home. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Vista, episode 219. My name is Ben and I am here at the Australian Institute for Advanced Podcasting. with me here as the director of pointless podcast from media companies who believe they should have a podcast because that's what media companies do but don't actually have any ideas for a good podcast.'s Andrew. Hi Andrew. Hey what's happening really looking for some significant cut-through on the latest episode where we're gonna talk about engagement yeah engagement with demos engaging with demos is up the podcast no it's just it's a topic for an episode I think we can string it out to six seven to the te. to a three seven eight thi thinne th a th a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to have to have to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a the. to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a th. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm a th. th. I'm a th. the the the the the th. the to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I'm. th. I'm. th. I it going to talk about it? No, it's just, it's a topic for an episode.

I think we can string it out to six, seven, eight minutes. Then there's all the ads in between for other media companies and then, you know, that's probably an episode. That's quality stuff. Yeah, that's great. And it needs to exist. It needs to exist. Because you have th the to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. And, th. And, th. And, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho. And, toge. And, toge, together, together, together, together, together, thoo. And, tho. And, thinks, thinks, tho. It needs to exist. It needs to exist because you have to put out podcasts. Because if you're a big media company, you know, you've got to have one of those. And it doesn't really matter if you don't have anyone that works there that would be good at doing it or if you have any good ideas. You just sort of, you just sort of, you know. You just sort of put it out until people. Yeah, no one thi's no one no one th no one th. No one would th. No one th. No one th. No one would th. No one th. No one th. No one thi. No one thi. No one thi. No one thi. No one thi. No one th. No one thi. No one th. No one that. No one that. No one to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No one. No one. No one. No one. No one. No one. No one. No one. No one. No one. No one. No one. No one. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. thoooooooooooooo. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, then you just kind of taber off, you know. Yeah, it's best for everyone involved. Also with me is the director of the kind of

political podcast where every episode they somehow end up talking about Julia Gillard's misogyny speech. It's Theo. Hey, how you're doing? I'm good. I'm thinking we could do a deep dive this episode. We can really get into the issues the issues. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I the. I the. I the. I the. I thi. I'm the. I the. I the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. thee. the. the. th really get into the the issues, the happenings, the zeitgeist political. Yeah. Yeah, so let's do it. Are you ready for a completely toothless take on the situation that we got going on? You know, in politics. I'm hearing reports that are Pauline Hanson got silenced and she's a woman. She is a woman and that's really a, it's really a defeat for women I'd say. So you can't, it'd be impossible to take a side on this because you don't want to be misogynist but you don't want to be racist. So I think the easy way is to play a clip of her the the the the the the thip to thip the to the to thip to the to the the to to the the to the to the the the to to the to to the to to to to to to to p. toe toe the the the the toe. toe. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e. t. t. t take a side on this because you don't want to be misogynist, but you don't want to be racist. So I think the easy way is to play a clip of her talking and then just say, oh, that was spicy.

Yeah. She's got some controversial opinions. And either way, I'm getting paid. wage for a podcast. That'd be crazy. I, and maybe I guess we'll be able to shed some light on this, but I've not introduced him yet so we can't talk. Now, I want to know if our dear friends Tom and Demi on Big Soft Titty. P&G get paid money for being on San Spans Radio. I would love to know if there's a wage involved in that. I'd be deeply curious. Well, let's hassle them about it. That bag. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll th. I'll th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to toe. to to toea. to to to to to to to to the. I the. I on though. Let's hassle them about it at that bag if they have. Last but not least from the independent Australian comedy podcasters who started with a very clear premise but have slowly given up and just changed the

premise to reading any text on the internet they find that's funny. It's radio broadcaster, television host podcaster and Hums Boyfriend Michael Hing. Hello Podcast Institute. It's thrilling to be here. I can give you all the Goss on Tom and Demi's finances if you'd like. Please, yeah. What's the go there? Because it seems like they are almost stifling being in that environment, actively talking shit about all of the ad reads they have to do.

Well, not that reads. They also did not their the- the- th-tride- th-tride-tride-the-the-the-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-st-st-sts. It thi-sts. It's thi-st. It's-sts. It's-thae. It's-s. It's-a-a-a-a-a-a-niolioling to-ni-a-ni-ni-a-ni-ni-ni-ni-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thoooer-s. thoooooo'-s. thoooo'-sa-sa-sa-sa-so'-so'-sa-sa-sa- do. Well, not that reads. Sorry, just legal space for ads. Not just ad reads, but also rolls. And when they first started, they, when they first got on that sweet gravy train of podcast money, they were doing, they were rolling out ads for ASEA? Do you remember this? Yes. Yeah, the Australian spy agency were trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying to recruit people through the podcast of Tom

David Walker and Demi Lardner who are both nominally comedians. That's certainly true. They would describe themselves. They would describe it. It's certainly not suitable for any kind of active duty, reserve duty, completely unqualified, I think. They've found the perfect job for them. Just an ad that says, you can help us stop people like these. Keep it high on exactly these types of personalities. Isolated, feeding into each other's insane beliefs. Yeah, no, so they did that for a while. And I, as a friend of theirs brought up, not just that, I, it's an interesting moral quandary there, because you are taking the money of an organization

that is presumably, you know, at the best morally questionable, you know, there's some murky territory that the spy agencies have to engage with. But at the same time, if you disagree with what they're doing and you're taking their money, you're actively, like, that's money they aren't spending on like drone strikes or whatever. So you're bringing them down from the insight. So it's always morally right to be on the payroll of fascists is what you're saying. Well that's, this is the, I mean, I honestly don't know how to, I'm too I'm honestly, I'm honestly, I'm too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the th.. the the th. I. I'm. their. I'm. their. their. I'm. I'm. th. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm they. I'm to I mean I'm too stupid to work out what they're what the what the smart thing to what the right thing to do there is I mean they're getting money from podcasting which is you know if you can make that work you've done pretty all right I'll like that they have you know in a time when making money from comedy has been made impossible because of the novel coronavirus they have just. they have just pivoted to be the the the their their their their their their their they their they they their they their they their their they they they their they their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they've their they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they their their their their their their their their to to to to to to the to too to to too to to to too their to their their their their their their their the the the they're, you know, in a time when making money from comedy has been made

impossible because of the novel coronavirus, they have just pivoted to pure insanity. There we go. It's great. Tom drives a truck full-time on the internet. And between that and podcasting, they can pay the rent. Amazing. Well the o' happy for them both. I think I watched like 10 minutes of a Demi stream and I lost all of my

peripheral vision. Kind of sort of completely disoriented just wandering through my house saying Demi to myself over over again. What the recording she has of her saying Demi Demi. Demi. That's a horrible little mutated blob of herself kind of splotches across the screen. Yeah two truly disgusting individuals who I love very very much. Absolutely. Horrible. She probably had a new bit on the one that I was watching. There was Mr. Bain. Is that what it sounds like? Is it a combination of...

Just her doing Mr. Bean bits in the Bain voice. Can't argue with that. No. I mean, I don't know what your argument would be. What's your argument? Don't? Please stop. Please stop. Uh, so Hing, we've brought you on here. You know, because we're very generous. You're going to interrogate my political beliefs on this hard-hitting political podcasts

that I'm sure hasn't changed in the past 400 episodes or whatever? Well, no, from what I heard from the last episode of Big Soft Duty.P&J is that you are their most right-wing listener, so I'm ready to hear. Yeah, that's right. I outflank Tom Walker on the right, despite the fact that he went to shore, a very fancy, probably the fanciest private school, um, in Sydney, in Sydney, but you know. I assume you're competing with him from the basis of having gone to another fancy Sydney private school. Yes, well, I mean, the school I went to is actually so fancy that if you utter its name, agents from the school will come and murder you. So, yeah, that's fair. I'm sorry, not what one does when you specifically, you know, scummers when you do it.

They come up to Queensland and just murk you for having dared even speak it aloud. No, look, obviously things are taken out of context on the internet. I'm not their most right-wing listener. Well actually, who is? Maybe I could be their most right-wing listener because everyone who listens to their show would be like the most left-leaning people. And personally I will say I believe in currency so I guess that makes me a fascist in some people's books. Yeah that probably puts you for sure. I think it's a very pro-like anarchy kind of mindset that they're putting out over there.

Yeah, it might not be explicitly political but they're definitely endorsing a narco-communism through their crazy antics. Yes, I agree. So we didn't bring you on here here to to to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that makes that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi thi that thi that that thi thi that that thi that thi that thi that thi that that that that that that that that through their crazy antics. Yes, I agree. So we didn't bring you on here to interrogate you about your politics. What we have done, because we're very generous, is that we're helping you to promote your new televisual program. Now, I note that despite the fact how you complained about how many podcast appearances you were contractually obliged to do to promote this TV show. You did not approach us. Well because honestly I thought

this was still a political podcast I genuinely did and I was worried that I would be prevented from appearing on here because of my work... F. SPS neutrality. No for the ABC stuff because I work at the ABC and I'm not allowed to come in here and say like you know Barnaby Joyce is a so-and-so or whatever ASEA's bad working for AZO's bad working for AZO's and yeah. You might actually be fired. Um, I mean we are allowed to, sorry, no, that I shouldn't try and misrepresent what I'm allowed to be and do and say as a, I'm allowed to have opinions as an ABC presenter, company man, company man, company man,

but it just means that, you know, inevitably, there is the small possibility that someone's going to make an official complaint because I appeared on this and talked about Barnum's choice or whatever. Sure, someone will dig up a recording of us from about two years ago where we said we would like to shoot Caleb Bond with a gun because of his politics and then they'll play a clip of you on this podcast and then you get fired from being one of the prime time triple J hosts. And look you know and it and no I don't think I'd get a get a fired to be honest but I think I would I think I would definitely a producer. I'd to get a to get I would definitely I would definitely I would definitely I would definitely I would definitely a pro a producer a to get a to get a producer a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a producer. to get a to get a producer. I'd to get a. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd to get a. I'd to get a. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd to. I'd to get a. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. to. to. I'd to. I'd to. to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd. I'd. have to respond. I'd have to like write a, you know, write a fucking letter to someone or something. Do you think, would you get a, would you get a talking to? I've had talking to's for less.

Okay. I don't might have talking to, you know, occasional talking to, it keeps you honest. Uh, that's true. That's true. show who would we shoot with a gun? All right Ben you're up based on their right-wing political opinions let's go. We actually we do have another new segment. I mean we don't have to involve people in the pipe segment. Yeah yeah I'll be happy to do whatever yeah. Was it because they were doing it for the ABC the Finding Drago the part where they recorded the speaking because they were doing it for the ABC, the finding Drago, the part where

they recorded the speaking to they got because Alexi tried to record a librarian without their consent while asking about the existence of a book? So funny, yeah, they got in trouble. Alexian, Alexian, Cameron James, if you haven't had the podcast funing Drago, go and listen it's so good. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah wore a wire yeah he wore a wire to the library and then got and then tried to play it for the ABC people to be like hey we led to put this out and they were like absolutely not it's they got the person was getting them in trouble into the studio and recorded that person that person rousing their thi is is is is is is the the th is the th is th is th is th is th is th is th is really th is really th is really th thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. I thi. I was thi. I was their their their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their trial. trial. trial. I was trial. trial. trial. trial. trial. trial. trial. trial. trial. trial. trial. trial. trial. trial. trial. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah wonderful program. Stop this podcast. Don't listen to it.

Go listen to the first season, and probably the second season. I've not listened to it yet of Finding Drago. It's truly incredible stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Andrew you've had a better time there to work on. Have you got one going on an extremely stupid, diarrhea-centric

podcast, that is simply one of the last things that you would want to happen, you know? And that leads us to our segment about the thing that you wouldn't want to happen. Now I can't find a theme. Oh no. There it is. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen to. Oh no. There it is. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. This is of course the segment where we talk about people who had a thing happen that's the one

thing they didn't want to happen. This is a story from WJW News, Ohio. Haunted house actor accidentally stabs boy he was trying to scare police, say. I reckon he scared him. Oh yeah, successful. Mission accomplished. I don't think he was trying to scare the kid. So what, who stabbed who?

The kid stabbed the haunted house worker or the other way around? Other way around. Haunted house actor stabbed the boy. I bet he got a talking to. Yeah, probably. Yeah probably. Legal sat him down and was like, hey, just let you know. And of all the things you can't do, this, I was just thinking the other day about that fucking Sweeney Todd high school play. Well, they used a real razor blade and they used a real razor blade and they slid a kid's throat in rehearsal and then they slid a kid's throat on the night. They did it twice. They did it twice.

Was this what? Where was this? That's fucking love. This is a like a New South Wales private school is that right? Yeah and they put on a show of the one you went to maybe who knows. Yeah I mean obviously we'll never know because um you know well I was going to say to say to say to say to say to say to say the agents to say the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the agents the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. th. th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. the. I. the. the. I. the. I. the. the. I was. I, well I was going to say the the agents also have that men in black pen so they would have made everyone forget. This uh this drama teacher put masking tape over a genuine straight razor. Yeah they put the masking tape over there because they'd already cut someone on the throat once and they're like oh well I'll just put a tape over it both times. It was it was the, it, it, yeah, yeah, yeah, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, the, they're, the, they're, they're, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they'll, they'd th. they'd they're, they're, they're, they're, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, the, the throat once and they're like, oh well, we'll just put the tape over it. It had tape over it both times. It was, it was that like there was sort of surprise that if you take a straight razor and put pressure on it, it will cut through masking tape it too. That's the thing about blades is they to cut be a protective layer. We're pretty sure. It's going to move so fast it's just going to skip off their throat.

No damage done. I got the kid's neck with olive oil spray before we went out. There's definitely a protective layer there. It's going to be fine. It's so crazy like just like when you're in high school. I, the shit that, I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, the the the they, they, th, th, I don't they, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the they, they, they, they, is they, is they, they, thr, thr, thrown, that, that, that, that, that, theeeea. We's, is just, that, that, that, that, that, that, high school, the shit that, I mean, I don't know what the work Queensland's like, I imagine you're very responsible up there, but in New South Wales where I went to high school, there was a portion of my high school

where I went to carrying bar high school, which is just like a local public school. Oh, yuck. And some of the stuff that went on there, there was a, you know, like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the bu like the bu like the bu like, like, like the bu like, like, like, like, like the bu like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the stuff that went on there, some of the stuff that went on there, there was a, you know like the Bunsen burners and whatnot that you have on the, one of our gas taps was just always on and you couldn't turn it off. There was just a leak in the room through one of the gas taps and the teacher was like, don't like any flames in that corner with the room the room the room the room the room the room the room was kind the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the teacher was like, yeah, don't go, don't light any flames in that corner of the room was kind of the rule.

Yeah, great. This sounds like my school. I went to public school in Canberra. And I remember that kind of thing in science classes. And also that like woodwork and metalwork were just the weapons manufacturing classes. You're making shives in there like you're in prison kids made They they use the lathe to make little little billy clubs

And it's adorable and and like would use the tin snips and sheet metal and then they would cut out Sure can yes and and then like people would run around and throw them up into like the ceiling of the ceiling of the cleaning of the clu-suling? the clu the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the around and throw them up into like the ceiling of the classrooms. So in any given classroom you could look around and it would be like this big, extremely sharp piece of sheet metal stuck into the roof. And that's just good stuff. That's so dope. My, my friend went to a different school and he turned just good stuff. That's so dope. My friend went to a, which was a different school, and he, to I, and he did a thing called automotive mechanics, like in year 12, and his automotive mechanics teacher, or whatever, like the auto teacher, just got them to fix his car, and that was during one of the things.

That's so good stuff. That's just, you know, just getting the kids, put the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the just you know just getting the kids put the kids to work. It really does suck. It's time to learn how to clean the spark plugs on an AU Falcon. Like I totally understand that like the majority of teachers are underpaid and heroes but we've all been through school we all know some of them are fucking dead shit as well like the oh yeah. The moment you have the realization that like half the teachers you had were like 23. Dude. He's like, oh fuck. Jesus, why do we let them in charge of kids?

That seems insane. In the same way that I look back on like my childhood best friend like through primary school. And at the time I was always like, man, his place is so fun, there's no rules. His parents are never there making anybody do anything. I do. No one ever has to take a bath, you know. Like, train. Actually, I was just talking to my parents about that the other day because we were talking about like, I've got two little kids and we were talking about like that whole things. th th th th tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they. they. they. the the the the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. teeea. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. today, today, today. ting about like that whole thing of trying to figure out what's age appropriate to show your kids and she was like yeah I remember you

coming home from that kids house having watched an R-rated movie when you were very young and I was like really genuinely pissed off about it you know but yeah like in the same way that on reflection as an adult I've gone oh that family was just an extreme poverty and having a really bad time but for me me, I was like, no rules! Everybody can do whatever they want. We can have as much ice cream as we can eat. And it's the same thing with school where as an adult I can look back and go, oh, like a third of my teachers. Uh, hated. They fucking hated every kid that they interacted with. Didn't want to be there at all. Just doing like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu like like like like like their their their their their their their th on th on th on th th that their that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they they they they their they their they they thi. they thi. thi. thi. that that thi. that that to be there at all, just doing like full-on

abuse to people in classes. Classic public school stuff. I'm also not allowed to say the name of that school. So that's because of an NDA you signed. Yeah. As part of the settlement. From the story here, an actor at an Ohio haunted house accidentally stabbed an 11-year-old boy on Saturday, police said, Don't do that. Officers were called to their their their their their their their their their their their their full their full their full their full their full their full their full their full their full their full their full their full their full their full full full full full full full full full full their fu fu. F. Foul on full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full their abuse their abuse their abuse their abuse their abuse their abuse their their their their their their their their their the story here, an actor at an Ohio haunted house accidentally stabbed an 11-year-old boy on Saturday, police said. Don't do that. Officers were called to the Cuyahoga County fairgrounds in Beria shortly after 8 p.m. The boy arrived at the hoarneed house and was approached by one of the actors who was carrying a large bowie knife. The police report said the knife scraped the knife, scraped the knife, the knife, the knife, scraped, scraped, scraped, scrapped, scrapped, the knife, the knife, scrapped, scrapped, the knife, the ground in front of the group and then stabbed at the ground near the boy's feet to scare him. The knife went through the child's crock-style shoe and cut his toe. Crock style, huh?

Crock style, but not actually crock-branded is the implication by going to ask. If it was an official crock-branded piece of footwear, we all know they are knife-proof. That's why they built him. That's what they're famous for. They're comfortable and they are armored. Well, that's why hospitality staff all wear them. It's because they're completely knife-proof. That's why, yeah, people that work in kitches, you know, people that's a knife through it. I have actually, I have no idea if you is a remove they're like slip on. You can absolutely put a knife through a crock. Yeah I started that as a joke

and then when you said that I was like oh fuck I'm stupid and I'm dumb and I'm actually. Are these made of Titadium? I'm picturing the cops at a little no-pad. All right your son was wearing crocks. Wock-style. My son was wearing shoes. the sown. My son th-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s th-s th-s th-s th-s th-s th-s th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I thu-s thu-I thu-s thu-s thu-I thu-s they's they's thu-s thu-s thu-I thu- I'm thu- I thu- I thu- I thu- I thu- I thu- I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thu c-I thu c-s thu c-s thu-s thu-s thu-s si thu-s si thu-s siiiiiiiiii thu-s siu-s siu-s si-adjacent. Crock-esque. I didn't say crocks, okay? Look at the shoes. Are you telling me that looks like an official crock? Count the holes, pal. Staff and officers treated his injury, then the boy put his shoe back on and insisted on finishing the haunted house. Fuck yes. Fuck yeah, thu! Yes. Fuck you, dude. Get it. Yes. Go off, King.

Go off. Never say die. In this house, we never give up on a hordid house. Put me back in there and let's see if they've finally got something to scare me. Yeah, fucking round two. Round two, ghost. the next time you better shoot you with a gun. Right, right. Yeah, I've got got my myopac on. Let's fucking go ghost. Police said the actor admitted that using the knife was a bad idea.

What? Yeah. Yeah. He said he didn't intend to hurt anyone. Officers confiscated the knife and the boy's mother requested no criminal charges. Fuck yeah. Mafia, a murder, the code of the fucking, you know. No cops, fuck you.

Look, you know the dangers. You know the dangers. You know whatever. No cops, fuck you. Look, you know the dangers. When you go into that haunted house, you might get stabbed in the foot. Yeah, you know what you sign up for? It's like a tour of dirty in there. This would fuck me up. Because I'm a pretty, you know, anxious person as we all are. I struggle really badly with things like haunted houses and roller coasters so I have to like the whole time I'm on them I'm reminding

myself constantly that there's no actual way you can get hurt it's like a it's not a real ghost it's not a real ghost I'm trying to get rid of my panic response by being like thousands of people go through this every day nothing happens to them this is normal it's just fun but obviously you can get stabbed through the foot. So I'm out. I'm done with haunted houses permanently now. I feel bad for the guy because he had a shit day at work, you know. Yeah, you accidentally stab one boy in the foot. Stabbed a kid, he definitely got a talking to. Yeah, 100%. He would have got a talking to from the mom. Hey Derek, can you come outside for a little bit? Fark? the the mom? Can you can you come come come come come come come come come come the the the the th th th the th th the th th th the th the th th th the th th the th the th the the th the the the the the th the the the th th th th th the the th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi the thi thi. th's about the stab thing. The stabbing, wasn't it? Just come out the back.

Just come out the back. Um, so he would have got a talking to from the family, definitely. Um, I'm pretty sure the police would have given him a talking to. Definitely got a talking to from work. And then his knife gets confiscated. Oh, that's a shame. Probably his best bowing knife. He's perfectly legal knife that he had on him at his job at Horned House. I have a permit for that. Of course, it's only natural that if you're going to stab someone with a knife,

that that knife will get taken away from you. But there's another kind of thing that's natural. Nature? Yeah, it's nature. Country roes, take me home to the place. I belong, who will take a serve, nature corner, rubber crab, snipped my dick. That's right, it is time for Nature Corner. We talk about nature. This is a story from the Swindon advertiser in somewhere in England. I don't know where Swindon.

Yeah, Swindon, it might be Swindon. A couple distraught, as sudden fireworks lead to deaths of their exotic rodents. Oh no. Exotic really is the only thing that adds a kicker to this. A couple who breed and raise exotic rodents are distraught after a sudden burst of loud fireworks caused several of their animals to die. Neville and Mandy Townsend have lived in Highworth for 28 years and spent two decades left looking after possums, voles, zebra mice and other little creatures, which are then sold

to private owners' zoos and even long-leet safari park. Wow, pretty prestigious. Imagine one of those guys with a blunderbuss. It's a very specific thing to imagine. I'm hunting the most dangerous game of all, the zebra mouse. I hope zebra mice are what they sound like. That'd be nice. If it's just a nice little stripy mouse.

Wait, just for once. What do they sound like? Just a strappy mouse? Yes. I think it's stripy mouse. Why? I thought maybe it could have been a tiny zebra zebra yeah, stripy mouse also works. Or a zebra-sized mouse. Oh no, they're stripedy but not in a zebra-mouse, but not in a zebra-mouse, but not in a m of zebras guys. It's not the stripes, it's the half a mohawk.

The famous mohawk that zebras have and no other creature has. It's actually because they're hoofed. They're hoofed mice. It's because these mice cannot be tamed. That's why we can probably tame their tame zebras surely. No, I've already have. And that also taps out everything I know about zebras. But I'm pretty sure they're like, they've never been tamed. Oh, this could be getting to trouble. I'm pretty sure they've never been tamed. When you say never been tamed, you mean they've never developed the ability to learn commands. Never been domesticated. Never been domesticated. the fucta- the the they they they they they they they they they th. they tham domestic they they they they they they they th domestic they they th domestic domestic domestic domestic domestic domestic domestic domestic domestic. Never they they they they they've they've never they've never they've never they've never their they've they've they've never they've never they've never their they've never they've never they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they're they're they're they're they're t. t. tame. tame. tame. tame. tame. tame. tame. tame. tame tame. tame tame tame tame tame. tame tame tame tame. tame tame they've never they're they're they're they have those pets. They cannot be domesticated. What? What? What does that mean?

I don't know, but I'm at the fucking Library of Congress. Yeah, this is the Library of Congress. That's pretty hard and fast, like, yeah. Oh, well, if the Library of Congress isn't, it's done? Sorry, has the American government ever lied to us before? I don't think to, okay. To be domesticated, animals must meet certain criteria. For example, they must live in a house. Puh.

Burr. Burr. I must carry a briefcase to get 9 to 5 Monday to Friday job. For example, they must have a good disposition and should not panic under pressure. Zebra's unpredictable nature and tendency to attack preclude them from being good candidates for domestication. Wild attempts at domestication have failed, some individuals have had success training and even hybridizing zebras.

Common zebra hybrids. The saucy. The zoce. The zoze. I'll let you figure that one out. And the Zen McLea, which is... Which is. Oh boy, my only zebra fact I can think of is last time I watched a documentary with them and a little zebra got born and the mother zebra like stands in front of it and blocks its view of everything else and just shows it the side of itself.

And so it just dances around it in a circle and just blocks its view for like a a couple of minutes and then the baby zebra has memorized the mother's stripes forever FU-FUk! That's pretty wild. That's sick. I have no idea what my mom's stripes look like. It's just none of my business. Now is that because you haven't taken an interest or is that because your mom has a particularly difficult stripe pattern? Or is it because of a sort of a negligent parent situation? It's too complex. The pattern crosses too many times. There's no way for you to... It's too intricate.

I've seen your mother's stripes. They're very nice. The sound of explosions in the sky, presumably not the band of the same name, startled their conservatory full of critters and when Mandy went to calm them down, she was met by a grim scene. She said, quote, it was horrendous. The bangs and flashes had triggered a mother possum's fight or flight response, and she had eaten her 10, four-week-old babies.

Oh no, fuck. Which is it insane like, well the shit's going down to time to eat my babies. Imagine she gets like through six and go, oh, I don't know if I can make it for doing another form. All right, just stealing herself. This is what what will happen. I'm not even hungry anymore. All of those like American Prepper families, this is going to happen when like the internet goes down because of some power line fault or whatever, but they're like, all right, the

shit has hit the fan, the nukes are going and then they go and head shot all of their children. This is exactly the same situation. It's very dark, very, very dark stuff. I believe it deeply in my heart. Quote, the other animals were throwing, oh sorry, no I gotta, the other animals were throwing themselves at the cages and bouncing off the glass, or they went completely still. They didn't know what was going on and there was an awful noise. We lost two beach mice, two stack lemings and a couple of bandit vows. Stack lemmings, bandit vows. Beach mice as well. This is the first time with... Yeah, beach is in double e, not as in, like the beach

I was hoping their wheel would give away tiny little beach balls or whatever and a little, you know, they're in their wheel of the beach mice's little bucket little spade, you know, some sunscreen. I've googled. I've googled beauched like this? Or like this. I've googled beach mice and it's auto corrected to the spelling of beach. Oh, it's I've googled a stack lemmings and have determined that the stack is the sixth level of the crazy difficulty featured in oh no more lemmings. No you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, the crazy difficulty featured in Oh no more lemmings. No, you're, you know, you're mis- they're actually not, that's not stacked lemmings,

it's actually stacked lemmings. These are lemmings with big anime titties. They're fucking caked off. Have I got the tonightest podcast right? I don't know. Yeah, I'm shooting everywhere. Just tell me where tried to search for here I've been fucking auto-corrected. None of the animals this woman has listed are real. She's making up animals for insurance purposes. Yeah that's how exotic they are. I have no results for beach mice. I have no results for stack lemmings and I have no results for bandit vows. It's like fucking you know that episode of the Simpsons where they go to the medieval fair and they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they're they're they're their their they're their. I I I I I I I I've th. I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that the. the. the. I've th. I've th. I've th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. I're are are are are are are are th. I are are th. I are are are th. I are are th. I are th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I'm the. I'm that that that thate. thateeeeeeeeeeeeate. theee. their their their the. their the. the. th go to the medieval fair and they've just like taped a fucking rabbit to a pigeon or whatever. This is what this woman is doing. Oh a stack pigeon. This is, I'm actually relatively troubled by this. Is it that this woman has invented her own terminology for the animals that she has or she just lost a couple of regular mice and was trying to sort of jam it up. This is all fraudulent I reckon.

Having said that though, I am actually on the side of her with regards to the unnecessary nature of fireworks. I think fireworks are fucking bull. I was alive when the Sydney 2000 Olympics occurred in my city of Sydney. Yeah. And as a result of that, I reckon there was like fireworks every night for like three weeks over the fuck how long that th th th th th th th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, having, having, having tho--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------a-a-a, th, th, th, th-a-s, thii-s, thi-s, thi-s-s-s-s-a-s''''-s'-s'-a-s'-s'-a-s'-s'-a-s'-a-s'-s'-a-s thi- of that, I reckon there was like fireworks every night for like three weeks over the fuck, how long that goes for. I reckon since then I've just had no interest in fireworks. Anytime I look at them, boring. I don't care. I think I'm holding out, I'm kind of tired of them now, as a, you know, I've seen a lot of them since I was a child. I am holding out for lining out for the correct out for the correct out for the correct the correct the correct the correct the correct the correct the correct the correct the correct the correct the correct the correct for the correct for the correct the correct for lining up for lining up for lining out for lining up the correct cocktail of being on drugs and watching fireworks for maybe that being like a transcendent, amazing experience.

Oh fuck. But the noises might scare you. Right? Well, it depends what the drugs are. But. But as a Brisbane local, have you worked out what cocktail of drugs you want to take during the 2032 Brisbane Olympics? I think it might be whatever will put me into a coma for three months. Heroin, it's definitely heroin. Surely that's 11 years away then, come on. I'll be dead by then. It's kind of, Theo will have to still be alive by then for the sake of his child, but I'll be out. I will have pieced out before that comes around. Look forward to that. I'll watch as much of it as I did the

last Olympics. Ben Dying? Oh, Olympics, okay. I won't. I don't know if I'll be given an opportunity to watch Ben dying. I will be live streaming. It is going to be grim. You want to do it during one of the boring sports though. Don't do it during the 100 meter final because no to watch your death, you know? Yeah, that's that's that's th's th's th. That's th. th. th. to th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's they thi' thi' thi, thi. thi' thi' thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I I I thi, thi. I thi, thi. I thi, thi, thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thii. I'll thiii. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. the 100 meter final because no one to watch your death you know yeah that's true yeah got to do one of those wacky sports that you know people don't really get around. Imagine what the bloody sports will be by 2032 I bet tick-to-talk will be one of the sports what with because of how things are going in the world that's by 2032 I imagine one of the sports will be paying the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. I'm thi. I'll thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to sports will be paying attention to a good book. Because of how difficult it would be for this generation. Incredible, I didn't realize that we had in fact got Ben on this podcast.

It's tremendous. And minds have melted at this point, I'm so sorry. Since we're all declaring how old we are, I did see a, uh, I did see an account online the other day called Influences in the Wild. Ah yeah. And it's all, it's genuinely depressing. It's all videos where somebody has spotted somebody else out in public who is very clearly making a video for TikTok or Instagram or whatever. So they're just like, they're in a, like a crowded touristy area with no music

Doing the big dance or like Twirking in front of everybody while their boyfriend does the video Yeah, yeah, something about it like the the dead silence other than this person's shoes hitting the ground while they're flopping around all the people standing near them just looking with a mixture of like the amusement and disgust Something about it just really like you said, like you said they're like, like you said, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like bemusement and disgust. Something about it just really like you said they are really genuinely bleak stuff. I think we're proud to say on this show that we have never influenced anybody. No we've maybe influenced some people to stop listening to this podcast. Yeah well so positive positive influences sort of a yeah net zero there. Yeah, we're getting rid of the dead weight, and only the people that are willing to put up with this bullshit.

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in access to our glamorous and exclusive Discord server, where bizarre arguments only happen once or twice a week at most. Head to Patreon.com slash Buntavista. Sign up in the next five minutes and I won't know because that's not my job. But you'll be enjoying the sweet satisfaction of supporting us and we will love you romantically for it. That's my promise to you. Good vibes only. I mean, you know, like we do, we do, we do, hey, we do some positive public service stuff on this podcast. We alert people to the dangers out there. We alert people to the nefarious crooks of the world coming after them with their dodgy scams and we got another one for you in scam watch this is from NBC News never heard of it

sure that Brian Williams, you're fucking nobody. Man arrested after being accused of impersonating police in Wilton. Wilden Police have arrested a man accused of impersonating police in Wilton over the weekend. Officials said 41-year-old David Rosen from White Plains, New York was arrested after officers saw him driving at a high speed with red and blue flashing lights on the dashboard on Danbury Road. Not a great look.

I mean, it is, if that would ask you about it, that's a good look. I mean, it's a good look, it is. the police pull you over, though, and they start in on giving you that talking to. What if they were wrong though? What if they pulled him over and he was actually an underco cop and they've just, they've cost someone their life? He was driving as fast as you can with the lights on in his unmarked car to catch fucking Buffalo Bill or whatever. This is all what Theo is saying to the police after being pulled over. And they're just like, hey, hey, hey, hey.

I might not really be a cop. But what if I was? What if I was, though, that'd be crazy. Anyway, got a go. What if you'd taken a giant pair of ceremonial ccercercercercercercercercercercercercercercercer ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon ceremon the their their their their thtap thtap thtap thtap th the the the the the thial scissors and just snipped right through the thin blue line? That's what you've done. You know how it's illegal to impersonate a cop? Is there any other occupation that it's illegal to impersonate? Probably doctor, you can't, or actually, I guess you can't practice medicine but you can

probably tell people you're a doctor and that's fine, you definitely get in trouble for stealing valor, right, for putting on medals and saying you're a veteran. But that's not actually a crime though? You can get charged. Like we had a story, we had a story on this show several years ago I reckon about a guy, a guy who like told a story just like in a country pub about, you know, being in Afghanistan or something, and everyone was like, holy fuck, that's amazing, we're all going to buy you beers and everything.

And then the next time he came into the pub, they were like, tell us another story about the war. And he went, oh, fuck. And then it just kept going to the point where he had like ordered medals online and he was giving like motivational talks at the local high school and then so at some point like you know the Department of Defense or whatever rolls up and says your those aren't real medals or anything and there's something that they can charge you with and I distinctly remember the transcript from the court case where the guy was like yeah

that just all got really out of hand. And again I don't remember the transcript from the court case where the guy was like, yeah, that just all got really out of hand. And again, I don't mean to make this podcast political, but didn't Hillary Clinton like genuinely get in trouble for saying that she was in a war zone? Yeah, so she was under like under sniper fire in Bosnia. And then they had footage of it, she's just like walking off the plane normally. Then there was the Elizabeth Warren thing. What was Elizabeth Warren one? What she claimed that she was a Native American descent? Is that the thing? Well, she spent decades saying that and like, it just happened. And then she did that thing where like

Donald Trump went, get a DNA test and she went, okay. And it came back and said, you're a white lady. And she had to go, oh, sorry, everyone. Like she, someone once again forced to apologize for being white. Typical. Oh, you hate to see him. Could you get in trouble for saying you're a fireman? Or a firefighter, do you reckon? Again, I think the context is relevant. I suspect that if you were at a at a tha at a tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha thi were at thi were at thi were at a thia thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tooomoomoomomomatement, tooomomatement, to go, to goa, to goe, to goe, to goe, too, too, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tooomoomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomoomoomoomoomoomorrow, tooomoomoomorrow, thi, thi, relevant. I suspect that if you were at a house party and you told a lady, I'm a fireman, you should

see my calendar. I don't have one on me. I don't have any pictures on my phone of it for some reason. But if you come back to my place, etc. I don't think. But if you put on the uniform and show up at the scene of a fire, and say, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, th, thian, hey, thian, the thian, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, the, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I, I I I, I I I I I I I I I the, I I I the, I the, I the, I they.. I they. I's, I's, I's, I'm, I's, I'm they. they. to, to, to, to, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, the the the the the the the the, I'm here for the fire. Surely you can get in some kind of trouble for anything, emergency worker related. Yeah, people certainly don't appreciate you pretending to be a dog catcher.

Well, that was just the way you were doing that, you were doing sort of an Ocean's 11 heist, but at the pound, we're just stealing dogs, well, I was stealing dogs destined for the pound I think. I hear they've got exotic rodents in there. This is, I know this is not like a, it's quora so it's not a reputable source, but here there go. Kevin DeBeer here is answering the question, is it illegal to impersonate a pilot? It depends, sometimes. It depends how and where you are impersonating a pilot and to what end.

In general, no, it's not illegal. If you want to put an arrow shirt and some epaulets and hang around the hotel bar trying to get laid by telling women you are a pilot, knock yourself out buddy. You want to put your arms out like little wings and run around the room making zoom noises. And say I just got into town and boy are my arms tired. No law against it. Technically not illegal. Impersonating a lawyer I think is maybe a criminal act. Oh that's fucking bullshit. That's fucking bullshit. Also when they say impersonating, I mean obviously, literally, I mean that means you know like

stuff I'm an officer of the law or whatever. But what if you just, like, could do a fucking great cop impression? Like, there was like a local officer and you could actually just nail the impression, you could do the voice and the mannerisms and everything? Could you get in trouble for that? You know what? You've went for impersonating a specific police? like, well, I think we all know Sergeant Bentley, and I think we all know he sounds a little bit like this, harmina, harman, harman.

I think in America, you'd be protected under America's same robust parody laws that allowed Weird Al to do what he does. Over here, not so much. Your Honor, Your Honor, I invoked the Weird Al defense. I didn't, uh, it took me ages for that to click with me until I saw it pointed out somewhere. That you can just, you can do the parodying whatever, like in an episode of South Park, if it's set at Target, they just have the Target logo and they say, we are working at Target, which which is a... Yeah, it's, it's how you can do that, uh, the fuck it was called. Dumb Starbucks. Yeah. What an episode.

Can't do that over here. You can't just- No, you fucking can't. Yeah, fascists. All I want to do is to be on to your Quicksmart. I want to do a parody of a Shannon Noel song, but it's about grammar. And they fucking let me do it. whom about me. It's like how this podcast began as a, I think a parody of the, what, 2004, like Cuban All-Stars,

like Vagly Salsa hit the Buena Vista Social Club documentary? That's right, yes. Yeah. And then we found out the legal ramifications of that in Australia, and we had to completely pivot away from what we were doing. It used to be you guys in elaborate hats smoking cigars and driving 50s cars. But now... Oh God, imagine if that was your life though. You're just drinking exotic rums, smoking cigars, driving big, weirdly rounded 50s cars. Hanging out with I think the guitarist Rykuda was on that album I think? I was going to say I would give anything to go to Cuba and hang out with Rykuda.

That's absolutely. Rykuda if you're listening to this. Yeah, Rykuda went to Cuba and assembled a band. That's what is that what the Buena Vista Social Club is? Yeah, right. It's sort of like the Avengers from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It's a lot like that? Yeah.

In, in almost every way. Yeah. Do you remember where you're up to in this story? I sure do. Police said that they determined Rosen had used the red and blue flashing lights to stop a vehicle on Danbury Road earlier in the evening, at which time he got out of the car and identified himself as a police officer while yelling at the other driver before fleeing the scene, just like the real cops. Yeah. Got a friend whose younger brother used to be a security guard years and years and years ago. And he just had like, you know how like you can

get the sort of construction sites just like the yellow flashing light that you can see if it comes up your car. Oh yeah. He had one of those and he would just use that to pull people over. That's insane. Yeah it would be like someone's making me really mad in traffic. I'm gonna flip this thing on and people would pull over and then he would yell at them and flee the scene. One of my dear friends who was also a listener of the show, listener of the show Aaron, who just got a like a high luxux from a like a fleet of work highluxes had safety lights on it and she took them off. Like immediately was like no I don't need these and then had them removed. I I I I I I I I th th th I th th th I th th th I th th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi one one one thi thi. One theou the. One the. One the. One the. One the. One the. One the. One the. One the. One one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one the one the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thin the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeateeeeeeea thea thea thea thea the the the the the took them off. Like immediately was like, no I don't need these and then had them removed.

I think like every single one of us who knows her was just like what the fuck is wrong with you. Why didn't you keep those? It's like a weird little extra bit of power you get there. I would have kept them for sure. Rookie mistake. You know, you can pull up right out of the wworths, flip them on, run inside and get your milk, you know? And everyone's like, oh shit, well they must be stopped there for road works or something, but no, you're getting your milk. Must be here to pick up a sinkhole. Must be here to pick up a trolley with a wonky wheel. Rosen admitted that he did try to pull a car over on Interstate 95 after they had cut him off. Great. Yes. F, fuck the fuck the fuck the fuck the fuck the fuck they they their they they they they they th. they they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that th. th. that that that that that thus thus. Must thus. Must be th. Must be th. Must th. Must th. Must th. Must th. Must th. Must th. Must. Must. Must. Must. Must. Must. Must. Must. Must. Must. Must. Must. Must th. Must. Must th. Must th. Must th. Must th. Must th. Must th. Must. Must th. Must th. th. th. Must, th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi must that that that, dude. Wonderful. It's the one reason to do it.

Didn't the guy, do you know that American congressman Matt Gates, who's currently getting done for sort of child sex trafficking, etc? Or is it under investigation for that, I should say? Well, at least there have been suggestions that he's definitely associated with it. And also, he's got a weird face. Yeah, there's been an FBI thing going on around him. I think he got done, or the reason he is in investigations, because the guy, he was like good friends with the guy who pretended to be a cop. And that's how that started to unravel. I wish I had a better recollection of what that story was so I didn't fuck up up up retelling of it. There must be so many people out there doing some variety of

that just being like... What's that the cunt police minister guy that David Elliot who was just like hey I'm basically the boss of the police when he got pulled over from speeding like the guy and the kid was like no no it was cuz he um he got a road rage I got the little fender with a team yeah and he got out and he's like hey I'm the police is dad pretty cool there's a some lightning behind you there yeah very atmospheric this is of course an audio medium yeah but we can see this on Halloween, the 30th of September. Yep. Ooh.

Oh, Halloween Eve. Okay, sorry to have Googled something and then come back to you. But yeah, so Matt Great, Matt Gatts. Matt Grates because of how much you like these politics because you're also right wing. Yeah. right wing yeah. Matt Grates 19220 come on guys. Friends of the show the Grates I think occasionally some of the ones into this. So he was as Matt Gates GaeTZ has denied all these allegations but the reason they came up was because they believe former Seminole County tax collector Joel Greenberg was an associate of his and met through

met he was he was alleged the person who set up the website or sorry who used the website to introduce people to Gates to have sex with right now Joel Greenberg he during the 2019, he is alleged to have created fake Facebook accounts and sent falsified letters making claims of sexual misconduct against an opponent during his tax collector, what's the word, campaign, but also impersonated a law enforcement officer in both stopping all while driving and trying to evade a speeding ticket himself. So in one instance he got pulled over being like hey you're speeding and he was like I think you'll find I'm actually the cop here. Which is fucking bold to pretend to be a cop to the cops. Turning the tables. Just like holding up a mirror to the policeman and try to trick him like he's a bird. Oh dear. Uh, yeah. I mean, sounds like he's got some nice friends.

Matt Gats. Gates? Gates, I believe. I fucking hate his fucking Johnny Bravo-ass, fucking face and hair. You know, it's not right to attack someone for their personal appearance, whatever, blah, blah, he looks like so fucking fucking punchable Jesus let the pipe for that man for me it's the tiny little eyes he doesn't like that a little shrew like eyes doesn't there yeah it's no good yuck don't care for it

Rosen was subsequently arrested and faces charges including criminal impersonation of a police officer second degree breach of peace engaging in pursuit reckless driving in proper use of colored flashing lights, and more. That's a funny crime. Improper use of colored flashing lights. Coming down, busting up the rave. Yep. Your sequence is all off.

It's not in time with the music. Horrible like $30 DJ like things you've bought from store DJ in your living room and they're like this shit fucking sucks. Calm it down. Yeah I did see somebody writing about the Matt Gates thing the other day and saying whatever happened with that is he just not going to prison for the many many crimes he was accused of and sometimes you know a new, it just, it bubbles up and everyone's like, whoa, whoa, look at all this. And then you just don't hear anything about it again. And that leads us to our next segment.

I'm gonna play the theme for it right here. Okay. It's the nothing to report report. This is the... This is the... It's pretty good. This is the segment in which we let you know about things where, you know, there's probably... You don't have to worry about following up on that. Yeah, it's fine. It seems like the problem just kind of sorted itself out. We don't really have anything to report in this report.

This comes to us by way of the Associated Press. Las Vegas police found 30 boa constrictors in a home and then determined that nothing was amiss. Right. Right. Right. Time to get out of here. By the book. Nothing to see here, officer. Is it a wildly wriggling man? He's doing the hypnotizing eyes from like a car in the jungle book, you know? Let's get out of here. How many snakes do you think legally you should be allowed to own?

What do you reckon? Two. Two max? One? One? One? One? Are you showing off? You know? What's the... What are snakes? Are they social animals? Would they like to have a friend? That is such a wonderful question. I have no idea. My good feeling is no. But just like because you never see two snakes at a time, you know, like if you're bushwalking, whatever, you only ever see one snake. It's never got a friend with it. No, they probably go into their holes to fuck or whatever. I actually have no idea how snakes do it. Most of us fucking are holes, yes.

Maybe how you do it. Not me. I need to be in like five snakes, yeah, I would immediately Begin to question the character although based on nothing really, but if someone owned like Like at five I'm like asking questions at ten I'm like that's a problem and I don't know why it's a problem, but for me ten snakes is a problem. Yeah, I'd never do five because, you know, one double date and the thake is really? that's that's the the that. I'm, I, I, I, I, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, I that's, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that, that's that's that's that, that's that's that, that, that, that's that, that's that, that's that, that, that, th problem, but for me, 10 snakes is a problem. I'd never do 5 because, you know, one double date and a snake is really getting its feelings hurt, left out in the cold. I couldn't do that. Ten, like are you starting to, is it an addiction? But maybe past 10, maybe it's a business pursue, you know? Maybe it's an investment portfolio of a kind.

Oh sure, look, you have a business business business business business business business business business business business business business business pursuit, you know? Maybe it's an investment portfolio of a kind. Oh, sure. Look, you have a business license, as might own as many snakes as you want. I'm just saying like, for personal use, these snakes. For recreational consumption, snakes. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, these are my personal snakes. 28 grams max.

All right. What about like dogs or something then. How many dogs do you think your person should be like to own? Three max. Interesting. Three dogs or four cats. Yeah, four cats is like dogs. Why more cats than dogs than dogs? Dogs are a handful. Yeah, you know, the cats. I guess you don't have to walk cats as much do you? No. I don't even think they like to be walked generally speaking. They kind of their own shit going on on on thog dogs th. Do dogs th. Do their their their their their th. their their th. their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thog thoggs, thi, thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. thi, tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to, to, to to to to to to to toee toe toe toe toe toe on. Dogs really need you to get them through life. Doing stuff with them.

Cats are just like, you know, whatever. I'm looking after myself. You keep doing you, I'll keep doing me. You get out the harness. The dog is loving it. Oh my god, literally, I'm fucking clipping this shit up. Now, try showing a harness to a cat. You know?

Won't even recognize it. They're stupid brains won't even be able to understand what it is. They're too busy daydreaming about cartoon fish to understand what a harness is. Try showing the try to the to a cat. I want to look at it. They're not, they're just not trying to show enthusiasm for anything. Get them out of the house. I know some people are out there walking their cats. Good on you. That's nice. We saw two cat walking in a single day.

We went to Mount Tamborine. Big, big center for cat walking, apparently. It's the cat walking catt walking caaaaaaaaq the the the the the the the the the the the the that's that's that's thaking that's the cat walking center of Queensland. That's right. Catwalking Capital. Uh, so... Capital. Hmm. Hmm. I'll give you some time with that one. Okay.

Investigators came across the snakes Tuesday during an unspecified law enforcement investigation. Okay. I knew it. I knew it that many snakes. They definitely tell and they promptly called Clark County Animal Control, the Las Vegas Review Journal reported. The county agency responded, quote, and determined the possession of the animals was not criminal. Police spokesman Larry Hartfield said in an email, that's, aren't those the two greatest words to hear? Not technically a crime. Never convicted, you know.

What kind of, did they, did you say they were boa constrictors? 30 boa constrictors. That's right. He's not even diversifying his snake portfolio. He's put all his eggs in one basket and they love eating eggs, you know. I'm just looking now at the Queensland biosecurity laws. Boa constrictors are an illegal species in Queensland. So you're not only, you wouldn't even be allowed to have one well constrictor. God, America is such a better country than Australia in so many ways.

I'm pretty sure they're illegal in most parts of Australia, actually the Boa Constrictor. Which is a real recurring theme on this podcast that we will do stories about, especially escaped animals in America, where, you know, the story makes a really big deal out of how crazy and exotic the animal is and how wild it is that it's loose in that city. And then the last sentence will invariably be, it's not illegal to own this animal in this city. Everyone's like, holy fuck, this guy had a Jaguar? And at the bottom it's like, you can own a Jaguar with a permit and it's fine.

They just love it. I love freedom so much. I love freedom. You are free to be killed in your own house by your 30 boa constrictors. Oh, I imagine though. A friend of mine has a job at, he works for, yeah, congratulations. So you know one non-podcaster, incredible. Yeah, a friend of mine works for like the government in whatever the border, oh fuck this. I'm so stupid.

The Australian Border Patrol. It's Peter Dutton. My friend is Peter Dutton. No, a friend of mine works the the the the the th, th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he works, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he that, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he th, he th, he th, he works, he th, he th, he works, he works, he works, he works, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, works, works, works, works, works in thi, works in thi, works in thi, works thi thi thi thi-a, works thi-a, works thi-a, works thi, thi, works thi, thi, I'm so stupid. Border Force? Australian Border Patrol. It's Peter Dutton. My friend is Peter Dutton. No, a friend of mine works in like whatever the, you can't bring that into the country, part of the, I guess it's border force? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah.

But his job is for weapons. So, like, to bring in a weapon that I need to apply for a permit and it's like a tricky situation, it goes to him. So like most weapons that you want to bring into Australia, like for example a big gun or whatever, it's pretty obvious like no that gun's too big you can't bring it in or whatever, it's too fast you can't bring it in. But then like, there are some things where it's like, he hen't he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th are some that he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, like, he was like, he was like, like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's like, he that's like, he that's like, he that's like, he that's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, he was like, he was like, like, he was like, he was like, like, like, like, he was like, he was like, like, he was like, like, he was that's that's that's that's that's that's thatto bring in a tank. Oh yeah. And he was like don't worry I'll get the the gun filled up or whatever with cement so I can't actually fire. I just want to have it on my farm to like fang around in. Oh sure. Fang around the property but they were like no you can't have a tank in on your property because like if people walk by there's no way they'll know that it's like just a I don't know an ornate tank like an antique tank it'll

you know and it'll look like there's a military like exercise going on so he wasn't led to bring in the tank. If he permanently like got a little flag to hang out of the cannon it. Oh yeah well I think so the like a kin to thrown like a the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to have to have their to have their to have to have to have to have a to have a to have a to to have a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their tank. their tank. their tank. I their their tank. I tank. I their their their tank.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. I their their tank.a. I'll tank you've got to be like a kind of a museum or a collector or whatever to have like special reasons to bring in tanks and stuff. But this is my friend's job all day he's just like crazy old men. Hey can I have this gun or whatever? Can I have this like you know this big bomb from World War two? Can I have this tank? He's like, can I have I have a a a a a a a a a a a a a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine a submarine? He's like, it's a fucking crazy old man. I have a partially deactivated sea mine. Is that okay?

Have I, um, have I ever told the story on here about my brother's honeymoon? I haven't heard it. So I would love to hear it. Yeah, hang, if you can remember whether he's told that or not, let us know, that would be great. If you can go back through the several hundred episodes. My brother got married a bunch of years ago now, many years ago, and him and his wife went to Japan for their honeymoon. And so they go around the shops and stuff and buying things. And he was like, ooh, cool. Airsoft pistols. You know, the ones that just shoot the little pellets, you know? But they look for all the world like handguns. Mm-hmm.

Oh. And he was like, ah, these are very cool. I don't know if I'm allowed to take those home. Yeah. But he was so excited. He went on straight onto the plane, started firing them in the air. Well, so the air, the air, the air, the air, the air, the air, the air, the air, the air, the air, the air, their their their their, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. thi. th. thee. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoom. thoom. thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. Yeah, thea. Yeah, thea. Yeah, the cowboy style. So his his solution to this was he was like I'm just gonna mail these to myself and they'll go through customs and if I'm not allowed to have them they won't let me have them you know.

They'll just take him out. No harm no foul. Yep so he did that and with a couple of things and then a few weeks later he got like a letter in the mail from customs that said the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. So th. So th. So th. So tho. So. So. So. So. So. tho. th. tho. to be to be to be to be to be. to be. th. th. thi. thi. thi. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, the th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, things. And then a few weeks later, he got like a letter in the mail from Customs that said, your package has been exploded. So like about one of his packages, right? And he was like, I guess that answers that question. And then, you know, another week or two after that at like five or six in the morning, there's a very loud banging at the door. And it's a police officer with a whole bunch more police officers and they are there to raid his house. Shit.

And so they come through and he says, I'm guessing this is about the plastic guns. No, it's about the weird Japanese pornos. So you've got these um bow constrictors that don't have the regulation amount of titties? Um, two each. Your lemmings are two stacked, sir. So they come through and raid the house and they go through and search everything and pull all the drawers out and all that sort of stuff and they're like we're looking for illegal weapons we're looking for weapons and he was like okay I tried to send myself a toy it appears I'm not allowed to have the toy right and they said

we are looking for illicit weapons and then they charged him with trying to import weapons from overseas. Because in Australia, you know, a replica pistol that can be reasonably mistaken for a real gun, if you were to like hold up a servo with that, they will treat that the same as if you had robbed the servo with a real gun. Right? Because to the person who's being robbed, kind of feels a lot like you having a real gun point at you, you know? Yeah, unless you are Vinny Jones in the movie, Lockstock and Two Smoking Barrels. And so...

I don't think any of our listeners are, though. You are, you need to be able to... You don't think any of our listeners a bullet-toothed Tony from the film, lock, stock and two smoking barrels. I know, I mean, one of the chances. My wife has been watching the masked singer with my kids. And my kids love the part where they're meant to take the mask off and they stand there shouting, take it off, take it off. And then they take the thing off and my five-year-old goes, oh my god, it's Vinny Jones! No fucking idea. I'm no idea who Vinny Jones is.

You know? You don't know? Maybe your five-year-old is a huge ex-foot-a-turned-a-fair fan, you know, you don't know. Maybe jones. Maybe she's been watching his director streaming releases from the last couple years.. I don't know, I don't involve myself in her business. Vinny Jones, like Vinny Jones, Vinny Jones was on the masked singer? Correct. I think they blew their ward in the first episode there. Uh, so, what the fuck?

Jesus. So my brother gets charged with attempting to import weapons from overseas, and he has to get a lawyer and he has to go to Sydney to attend court and at every stage of this right he's getting interviewed by the cops down to the police station and he's saying look here's exactly what happened I mailed that it was stupid clearly I shouldn't have done it but that's exactly what happened cooperating with everything you know and they were like you're going down it's time to charge you to the fullest extent of the law and then it finally served yeah and then it finally made its way to court where a judge had a cursory glance at the case and then said please go home this is

fucking stupid sorry everybody wasted everybody's time. Did your brother ever get his guns? He did not. I think they were certain. It wouldn't have been exploded unfortunately. Yeah they sent him another thing saying you have 30 minutes to pick up your cube. Yeah. So hot tip for you do not post replica pistols to yourself from Japan in the early 2000s. Try not to go. Can I ask you guys something in confidence? thi thi, th? I? I? I? I? I? I th th th th th th th th. I th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. He th. Did not. Did not. Did not. Did not. Did not. Did not. Did not. Did not? I th th th th th th th. I th th th th. I th th th th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th yourself from Japan in the early 2000s. Try not to do it. Can I ask you guys something in confidence? I don't. Yeah. Yeah. I want to tell anyone. Just between you. Do you ever get the thing where you're like, I don't know, particularly like stuffed up nasely. You go to blow your nose and you

blow your nose and like air comes out of one of your eyeballs. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I've never had that. We've got one, one, that's never happened to me. Okay, one, I can't air eyeball away to that. It feels like a little, little squeaky noise inside your brain there? It, it does. And it's literally like air, their tie. And the doctors have literally, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. That, th. That, that, that, that, no, no, no, that, that, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. That, th. th. That, th. That, th. It, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. th. th. No, no, my pipes are fine. It doesn't sound like they're fine. It sounds like they're leaking. They should be airtight. Yeah, that should be sealed. Doctors have looked at my pipes and said, look, you go perfectly normal pipes. I don't think you can swim at this point because it's just

going to come in through the... If I were you, Theo, I would just add that to your eyes where your tear ducks are and then around the whole base of it. No I thought that's my eyes do another layer and just probably seal your entire eyes shut with silicon. I thought that's like where you might be going but I actually need my my tear ducks to cry. Okay. Okay. You could just do the act of crying crying without the tears coming out and still have the symbolic. I I I I I I I I I. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. to just. to just. the to just. the to just. the to just. the to just. to just. to just. to just. to just. the the the to just. to just. I to just. I to just. I to just. I to just. I to just. I to just. I to just. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to to to the. to the. to to the. to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. to the. the. the. the. the. the. the without the tears coming out and still have the symbolic gesture. I just sort of like scrunching my like twisting them in my eyes and stuff like a cartoon baby. Wow wow well ideally I think it's simply not the same. You want to paint your whole face white first and get a beret. Yeah, some black, black diamonds on the upper and lower parts of your eyes and

then you can really really go to be sure. Yeah I see what you mean. White face paint doesn't really work on me but I am getting what you're going for there. I mean you can really upset me. Get accused of putting fake tan on. There you worry bronzer like an English girl at Ibitha. Now I did try and sort of hand-fistedly get this in at the start and then we got derailed but um-hing do you want to talk about your TV show........ their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to th. th. thi. to to to to to to to go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. to go. to go. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. try. try. try. try. try. th. their th. try and sort of ham-fistedly get this in at the start and then we got derailed, but, um, Hing, do you want to talk about your TV show that you've got? Oh, yeah. If people are at all interested, it's called Letters and Numbers, it is returning to SBS. The, uh, I mean, for international listeners, S.B.S. Yeah, it's so good, isn't it? It was a station that was started in the 70s to, you know, service multicultural communities, but it's since widened its reach

to take on any underserved communities, ethnic or otherwise. But, yeah, so we're doing a comedy show called Letters and Numbers. It's actually called Celebrity Letters and Numbers because technically it's comedians playing the game. It's not the th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's thi, it's not thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's thi. It's thi. It's thi, it's thi. It's thi, it's thi. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's a-a, it's a-a, it's a-a, it's a-a, it's a-a, it's a-a, it's a-a, it's and Numbers, it was actually called Celebrity Letters and Numbers because technically it's comedians playing the game is not regular folk. It's like... Oh, so you might have people like Tom Walker and Demi Lardner on there for instance. Well no, I mean people like them but not them. Oh, that's a shame.

But you know, people with, I would imagine, slightly better managers than Tom and Demi. Uh, were it. My closest friends in the world. No, um, yeah, no, it's, so it's like if in the UK or elsewhere you might have seen 8-10 cats stars countdown, it's the same sort of format as that, but, um, you know, I'm not Jimmy Carr, so don't watch it expecting me to be because you'll be wildly disappointed. It's a puzzle game show, you know. It's a... Yeah, it's exactly. Yes, well I don't get paid enough to do it.

You're right, you're the jokes. Yeah, and some people I've already seen are quite furious that I'm hosting a comedy version of the show. They wanted to be the serious puzzle version of the same fucking show like you know you can play the games along without listening by jokes. It's honestly quite strange I found just from watching the eight out of ten cats version is seeing comedians be quite good at maths is always yeah very jarring for me you don't have to worry as much for our version because we've recorded 24 episodes of them and for the most part people like dog shit at the numbers game. I'm talking Merrick what's the that this, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just thi, just, just, just, just, just, just, just from the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just th, just th, just th, just th, just th, just th th, just thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thoooooooooooooomu, just from their their their their their their their part people have dog shit at the numbers game. I'm talking Merrick Watts, terrible, that own kind, terrible,

terrible, McHugh-Lewy, terrible. All of some wonderful funny people who are very talented in their field but fucking none of them can do maths. Sure. I guess you know, doing quick arithmetic probably doesn't come up in a lot of their days. True, it's true. And also I will say that on the small occasions that those people do get them, on the rare occasions they do get them, it is the most joyful thing you'll ever see on television. Because a lot of these people have not done math since high school. And so you put them under a pressure situation, you reduce their their their, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, their, their, their, th. And, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and thean, and the, and the, and the, and tho, and tho, and tho, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and thean, and thr. And, thr. And, thrue, thrue. And, and thrue. And, and throan, and thean, and th front of the nation and then they lose their minds but occasionally when they succeed it's it's really quite glorious. Anyway 730 Saturday nights on SPS it's called celebrity letters and numbers I'm on it David Astor Lily Serna and some really funny comedians.

When does that uh when does that start hearing? Saturday this second of October there's 12 episodes so it'll to the end of the year...... And. And. And. And. And, the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll, th. I'm. So, th. I'll, th. I's, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, th. And, th. And, th. So, th. So, th. October, there's 12 episodes, so it'll take us to the end of the year, and then the season two will come out next year as well, which I've already shot. Oh, wonderful. Just, I don't want to, you know, no stereotypes or anything here, but how did Aaron Chen go with the, with the maths, the math problems? How did it go? I think he was pretty th. I was I mean I was I was by far the best person at the maths

aside from really his job it used to do the maths I am. That's that nameless private school. Yeah I am honestly it was embarrassing how good I was at the math. Towards the end of the shoot we shot 24 episodes of it in like 10 days or something which was fucking bonkers but towards the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end th I I I I I to to the end to the end to the end to to the end to the to th. th. th. I could th. I could th. I th. I th. I could th. I th. I was to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I I I I I I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was the. I was te. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was days or something, which was fucking bonkers. But towards the end of it, I could mostly get it just by looking at the maths thing. And I had to stop playing it because I was getting too derisive of the guests. Like there was a point where I was like, literally though this one's easy, you morons, and then people didn't get it. Do you, how do you feel? thi it, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, how th, th, how, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I'm, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I was, I's, I's, I's, I's, I I I I I I I I, I, I I I I I I I I I I I I, I I I I, I I I I, I I, I, I do you feel? Honestly, it's so easy.

And I was like, there's a couple of episodes where quite, um, I think quite boorishly, I ask Lee if I can do it because none of the contestants got it. Um, it's, yeah, yeah, it's not me of my best, honestly. Yeah, they probably stopped being like fun and jocular and starts becoming becoming a mega maniac. Well, well, I I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I thing, I thing, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I'd thin, I'd thin, I'd thin, I'd thin, I'd thin, I'd thin, I'd think, I'd think, I'd think, I'd thin, I'd think, I'd thin, I'd thin, I. Yeah, yeah, it's my most attractive quality for Monaster. My goodness. Well, yeah, keep an eye out for Michael Higg losing his mind about how good he is an addition in front of a bunch of comedians who are essentially there to make people laugh.

I can do these meaningless puzzles faster than you! Thank you so much for joining us. Oh, thank you to have him here. You really appreciate it. Yeah, next you you you you you you you you you you you you you thi you nenenenenenenene the the th to to to the th th to the to to to the to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll th. I'll the. I'm the. I'm theat. teat. teat. teat. te. teat. te. teat. to. theat. I'm the. I'm th. Oh, thank you to having you. You really appreciate it. Yeah, next time you need to promote something, you just contact us directly and we'll, um, yeah, you know, we can probably just do that. Sure, sure. Just ask anytime. I'd love to do it.

It's really great. Uh, check out Freedom. to have a treat. . once every six to seven months when they release an episode is just a delight. It's real nice. I think honestly at the moment we're slowly working through your historical guest list for people that we would like to have on this podcast because they're all people that I like either know personally or am one person away from and who are funny which is a nice combo. If you if you say if they'll do free to a good home, you know they'll do basically anything, honestly.

So that's what we're looking for. Especially in the early days. Like, Friddle Good Home is like, it has like a reasonable listenship now, but in the early days, it was maybe like a thousand people or something listen to it. It was fucking no one. And it was, and the people we got, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, the, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, the, that, that, that, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th................ It's, th. It's, the people, the people we, the people, the people, the to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the. the. thrilled to have on there. And honestly I think if you know it's it's testament to their spare time. I mean you've had some actual like a... Not a lot of work for comedians in Australia. You've had some celeb solebs on there like the last couple of months. I don't know one of the two of you is hustling at the moment but you're doing a great job. Yeah, it's nice being able to be. We to. We to. We to. We to. We to. We to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able the the the their their their their, we their, we their, we their, we their, we their, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it, it, it, it, it's their, it, it, it, it, their their their their their, their, their, I I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, th. I th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, their, their, their, it's, it's, it's nice being able to just send them send people a screenshot of the the analytics page and being like you know hey

do you want to be listened to by this many people on the other side of the world who won't know who you are and will never engage in anything you do. And you almost definitely won't have like a tour or anything over here because it's national travel for years. Yeah, you have been allowed into our country to capitalize on this. Yeah, it's pointless. Anyway, yes, Fraterg's good home. It's a, it's nominally a podcast about classifieds, but you know, who we've run out of them. So it's just anything really, yeah, there go trawl Craigslist, um, sex message boards for fun stuff to shout about and they've

they literally got rid of it. I think because our podcast was too powerful. Mmm. That was probably, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well don't forget to check out shop. that Bontavista.com pick yourself up a shirt if you're into that kind of thing. And it's been a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure a pleasure to be a pleasure to be a pleasure to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be to be to be to be to be to be to's been a pleasure to be joined by the man that my wife describes as quote my friend from the radio. Oh, what's your wife's name? Eleanor. Oh, Ellen, I don't know Eleanor. There you go. Hello, Eleanor. It's very kind that you listen to my dumb radio show. There you go. That's it everybody. Thanks very much and we'll see you next time.

Bye. Bye. Bye. you to the to