Boonta Vista - EPISODE 220: There Will Be Beans

Episode Date: October 7, 2021

The terrifying bean crimes of England only seem to be multiplying, plus: A new robot finds itself at the centre of With A lead Pipe, and we open up our world famous mailbag.

Welcome to Bontevesta, man. Wonderful. That much are evil faces. Welcome to Buntavista, episode 220. Your favorite spiky leather collar just broke, and there's a hole in your favorite, a tray you shirt. So here you are at Off Your Tree. I'm Lucy. Of course I'm the manager here at Off Your Tree. I'm walking over to berate a disgusting teenager who is attempting to shoplift a bong shaped like the baby from family guy.

Hey Andrew, man, you heard that new bullet from my Valentine? Oh yeah, it's sick. Is it true that we're going to stop selling flavored blunt wraps and papers? Because I will quit if that's true. Yeah look couldn't tell you I couldn't tell you that sounds like a really depressing thing to be buying but you do you. I'm gonna quit if I can no longer get my 0.25% discount on flavored blunt wraps. Add off your tree. Yep. Yep. Fair enough. Fair enough. A much smaller, much whiter tree. Yep. Yep. Fair enough. Fair enough. A much smaller, much whiter teenager is here.

He's asking me for directions on how to get away from here. Hey Theo. You heard that new bullet for my Valentine, man? I have not. Are you referring to my bloody Valentine? No? I'm not. Okay. Well, well, I'm not. Okay, all right, well, I'm clearly in the wrong place.

You sure are. You sure, I'll see you later, man. Okay, I don't think it's legal for me to smell like this shop. Yeah, so if you guys, have you got any, any advice for sort of, um, actually, no, never mind, I'll go straight to the cop shop, straight away. I'll tell them up front and I'm sure that they'll be, uh, they'll be forgiving. I'll probably only spend a year in jail. Yeah, no doubt, no doubt. Good for you, go. You know, you do you.

Um, a much taller, Materia man is in here. He's readying his piercing gun to give a 13-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-old-old-old-year-year-year-year-year-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-up, the-up,'m much taller, Materia man is in here. He's readying his piercing gun to give a 13-year-old snake bites. Hey Ben, you heard the new bullet for my Valentine? I actually have a very long-standing beef with the band Bullet for my Valentine, because during Soundwave 20 maybe at the Brisbane Show of the R&A Showgrounds, 2013. No, 2011. Oh, fuck I'm old. No. What happened? Anyway, they ran 10 minutes over time and they cut into the set of the more responsible band that was playing after them who decided to cut their set short so it was not to convenience the band

that followed them and that band was Primus. Now for big Primus heads like me watching Primus Take the Stage we instantly identified that on one part of the stage was a sort of e-chelow with a pig's mask hanging off it, which any Primus fan worth their salt would know that that means they were going to play Hello Mr. Crinkle, but that was cut for time because a fucking bullet for my Valentine, pieces of shit. I hate that I know what you're talking about with Primus. I have no idea to tell. I love what I'm talking about on Primus. This is a hundred percent true, and I'm still fucking mad about it. I love Primus so much, I'm not embarrassed about it, even though I should be.

I was thinking about Primus today. Just afropo of nothing. Did you see a man walking weird while playing adult by playing a weird like six-string bass. No, I was just walking around the house and Winona's Big Brown Beaver came to me. It was just in my head song. You know. There I was. Trio Plastic Cowboys walking around.

Check out the band Primus if you are in your 30s. Do not try list to them if you are any younger than that, he will be very upset because that shit sucks. I can still squeak in there in my 30s. I can still listen to Primus. I just like every now and then I'll sort of drop off the calendar. Drop off the calendar. That's not a phrase that means anything. I will drop out of my rotation. I will drop off the calendar of Primus. And be like the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho th. tho thoom. thoom- th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to theea. to to to to to thea. to thea. I'll thea. thiia. thea. th rotation. I will drop off the calendar of Primus and be like, no, I don't listen to silly nonsense like that anymore. And then, fucking Spotify will throw John the Fisherman at me and I'll be like,

this is the best shit any artist in the like 7,000 years of human history has ever produced. It's, um... Dropping off the calendar just made me think of a thing I saw tod today, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and be like, and be like, and be like, and be like, and be like, and be like, and be like, and be like, and be like, and be like, and be like, and be like, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi's thi's thi thii thiiiiii thiii thi th me think of a thing I saw today which was David Lee Roth announcing that he was like retiring from from playing live or whatever and he's and he chose to use the phrase I'm throwing in the shoes. Yeah, why not? Have you ever seen someone throw in the shoes before? Only once. What could that mean? I'm throwing in the shoe. Well it's exactly the same as throwing in the towel. You get the gist, you know language is fluid, man.

Yeah. But like a boxer wouldn't say I'm throwing in my boxing gloves, which is where throwing at the towel comes from. The towel is not the primary thing used to undertake that sport. No but it is like it's like if you say I'm waving the white flag like that's the saying I'm giving up. Are you saying the one thing that we use to express that. The shoes for a live performer are the towel of a boxer. Is that the is that the relationship that you are th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th the th th th th th the th th th thr thr thr the thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr that that that that that that that that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that that that that that the that that that that that that that. I that. I'm that. I'm the. I'm tho. the. the. tho. the. the. thooooooooooooe. I'm the. Is that the relationship that you would try to set up here, Ben? I can't follow that sentence for some reason. I think there are too many. But yes, yeah. That was it A is to B, is to C, is to D. That's correct. And I can make it to B. By the time you said C, I've forgotten about A. And the time you said, see, I've forgotten about A. Like the, and that does present some logistic problems, because if you are, for example, like a boxer's corner man, you already have the towel, right?

Like when you come out, you have the towel, he comes over between rounds, you lightly dab his brow, and you say, does that feel good? I don't know if that, that's how I understand boxing to work. Do you like that? Do you like it when I do this? You like it when I do this? Is that what the towel's here for? You say, you pat him and you say, does that feel nice, does that feel nice, sweetie? And then the minute's up and he's back, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, that, that, that, that, that, you's that, you's that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you that, you're that, you're that's that's that that that that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, when th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you're that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that, that's that's? That feel nice? However, if he's being beaten so badly that you need to

surrender on his behalf, luckily you are holding the towel, if you have to retire on behalf of a singer that you represent, good luck getting the shoes off him. Did you just say singer? Did you say singer? Yeah, we're talking about David Lee Roth. Yeah, no, what do you? Yeah? Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the. thee. theeee is theeeeeee is theeeeeeeee. theeeeee. thee. the. the. the're talking about David Lee Roth. Yeah, no, what do you, yeah, just say that word again for us. Singer? Mmm. Mmm. What is the tape will show? Yeah, I think we'll leap that up to the listener to decide. They can watch the high-speed playback. I don't know what just happened. They can listen to that audio, Zapruder film that provided for them. Say David Lee Roths up there.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, th. to, th. to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. S-S, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing. Sing. Sing, sing. Sing. Sing, sing. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. S. S. S. S. thi. S. S. S. S. S-S. S-S. Sing. Sing. S-S. Sing, th. Sing, th. Sing, th. S that through a Furia transform, pull out those. Say David Lee Roth's up there, he's doing his thing. Yeah, he doesn't know his car.

And you're like, no, no, this has gone too far. Time to try and get his shoes off him so that I can throw them in. I think that's going to be a really really really really really really difficult really difficult really difficult really really difficult really difficult really difficult really difficult really difficult really difficult really difficult really difficult difficult really difficult difficult difficult difficult difficult difficult difficult difficult difficult difficult difficult difficult difficult difficult difficult difficult difficult to be a really difficult difficult to be a really difficult to be a really difficult Yeah, it's an odd turn of phrase. I don't know what you would... David Lee Roth, you're unnotice. I'm putting myself out to pasture, I think, is, you know, I'm going to a nice farm, upstate, lots of room for me to run around and play my little songs. Yep, eventually a man will come along with a big compressed air cylinder, put a little spike up to my head. I need you a hold still still for me there, and there, and there, and there, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thus, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, thus tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho-a, tho-a, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I need you a hold still for me there.

And that's it. It's a dream, isn't it? He went peacefully. Mr. Lee Roth? He's a rogastard with her. Or you end up getting chain lightening to death with six other American singer-songwriters that are on the same property. Oh boy.

That's a call back joke. That is. And if you've that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. And if you th. And if you've th. And if you've th. And if you've th. And if you've the the th. And the the th. th. th. thi. th. th. th a callback joke. That is. And if you've not listened to every episode of this podcast, fuck you. Fuck you. Yeah, you know, sometimes you do have to go out to pasture with a cow and hit it with the old pneumatic pneumatic steel bolt to the head. A much cheaper way of achieving that would be to take your finest lead pipe out there. Yep. And just take a bunch of swings until the job is done. It's

a bit more labor intensive, but sometimes, boy it can be satisfying. Hey, on that subject, we're returning to our newest segment for you, with a lead pipe. She's seeing red, she's swinging red, she's swinging in the hand, yeah. Gotta say I already hate this thing that we're going to talk about, Ben. You've not read a single sentence there as far as I can tell. One, and that was enough. Okay. The headline was enough to make you very upset. I'm not liking what I'm saying. I'm not liking it. So this is a press release from the California Institute of Technology which I believe are referred to in short as CIT. Hmm. Yep. Named after the Camber Institute of Technology

if I mind. I think that's right. Yeah. Leonardo, the bipedal robot can ride a skateboard and walk a slackline. Don't do that.. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I that. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like thi thi thi. I'm not like thi like thi like thi. I'm not like thi. I'm not like thi. I'm not like thi. I'm not like th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the th. I th. I the th. I th. I, the bipedal robot, can ride a skateboard and walk a slackline. Don't do that. I'm turning around it. I'm turning around, actually. Sounds fun. The slackline, I'm like, oh, you're one of those annoying fucking people in the park now, you're piece of shit.

Researchers at Caltech have built a biopetal robot that combines walking with flying to create a new type of locomotion, making exceptionally nimble and capable of complex movements. Don't, yeah, don't do that. Well, they have. Unless it's got nimble fingers, I don't want to hear about. All right. Okay. What are we really making these robots for? Come on. A part walking robot, flying drone. The newly developed Leonardo, short for legs on board drone. So they've taken the L and

the E from legs, they've taken the O, the Ed, the A, the R, the D from on board, and the O from drone. Which is exactly what you would do. So they've just, they've given him a name and filled in the gaps after. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th's th's the, thi, the the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they've given him a name and filled in the gaps after. Yeah, and just so badly. Let's make up a better one right now. Legs, everything. On board, new animated robot. dudes, okay. Yeah, that sounds, that's good, man. I that can I, can I just read that's five seconds. Nailed it. Can I, can I just read that out the way it is written? Yeah, go on.

So, they have capitalized the parts that make up Leonardo. Legs on board. Drawn, or Leo. That, uh, maybe think of, I believe it is a friend of the show, uh, John Hendridden twee, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, thin, the, the, can the, can the, can th, can th, can th, can th, can th, can th, can th, can th, can th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, thin, thin, thin, the, that, that, that, that, that's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, think of, I believe it is a friend of the show, John Hendren tweet, from years and years and years ago about how Isaac Brock, the lead singer of Modest Mouse sounds like he's singing while being chased with a gun nose. I think about that tweet. Approximately once per month. It's true, goddam it. Lyonado can walk a slackline, hop, and even ride a skateboard. Developed by a team at Caltech's Center for Autonomous Systems and Technologies,

Cast, that one works. Leo is the first robot that uses multi-joint legs and propeller-based thrusters to achieve a fine degree of control over its balance. What is the point of this? We already have, we don't need robots to ride skateboards. We've made like a hundred iterations of this exact robot. We actually have tens of thousands of 17 year olds to ride skateboards. That's right, or how to push monkeys.

Right? Like, if we must. You can train a monkey to do everything that your current modern robots can do. Anything a try, a monkey can do better. That's true. That is so true. It's far cheaper to attach a functioning set of rotors to a monkey than to get a robot to do monkey shit. You're basically reinventing the wheel there. 100%. Or the rotor monkey graft to be specific. Yeah, put propellersllers on a monkey. Reinventing that implies that. Okay. We drew inspiration from nature.

Think about the way birds are able to flap and hop to navigate telephone lines, says Soon Joe Chung, corresponding author and Brenn professor of aerospace and control and dynamical systems. He has a point there, because I would love to see Leonardo navigate some power lines. We're a famous professor of aerospace and control and dynamical systems. He has a point there because I would love to see Leonardo navigate some power lines. A complex yet intriguing behavior happens as the move between walking and flying. We wanted to understand and learn from that. There is a similarity between how a human wearing a jet suit controls their legs and feet when landing or taking off and how Leo uses synchronized control of distributed propeller-based thrusters and leg joints,

chung adds. We want to study the interface of walking and flying. We wanted to study the interface of walking and flying. Leo's lightweight legs take stress off its thrusters by supporting the bulk of the weight. By using a hybrid movement that is somewhere between walking and flying, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, the, thus, thrus, thrusters, thrusters, thrusters, thrusters, and thrusters, thrusters, and thrusters, and thrusters, and thrusters, and thrusters, and thrusters, and thrusters, and thrusters, and thrusters, and thrusters, and thrusters, and thrusters, and thrusters, and thrusters, and thrustrustrusususususususususususus, and thrusus, and thrus, and thrus, and thrus, and thrus, thrus, and thrusk, and thrusters, and thrusters, and thrusters, and thrusters, ands, ands, thrusters, ands, thrusters, and thrusters, and thrusters, andaugheotion. Leo's lightweight legs take stress off its thrusters by supporting the bulk of the weight, but because the thrusters are controlled synchronously with leg joints, Leo has uncanny balance. I don't think that that's the best of both worlds in terms of locomotion. One of the key things of flying is not being on the ground anymore. Yeah. But it sounds like this is very much on the ground. This robot is still ground-based.

He's caught between two worlds. No, I think he's still on one world, which is the world of the ground, the floor-based, like bottom-feeding scum. So if you were to categorize them as a Pokemon, you wouldn't say ground and flying type. No certainly not. Just ground type. Ground and metal. It'd be like putting all this effort into making a robot and describing it in all your press releases as being just like a bird and then in very small fine

print being like it's a kiwi just like a bird just like a bird and thinne. A match reaching the heights of a penguin. It's a penguin. Just like a spurt. A match, reaching the heights of a penguin. Based on the types of obstacles it needs to traverse, Leo can choose to use either walking or flying or blend the two as needed. In addition, Leo is capable of performing unusual locomotion maneuvers that even in humans requires a mastery of balance, like walking on a slack line and skateboarding, said Patrick Speeler, co-lead author of the science robotics paper and a former member of Chung's group who is currently

with a jet propulsion laboratory which is managed by Caltech for NASA. Leo stands 2.5 feet tall and is equipped with two legs that have three actuated joints along with four propeller thrusters mounted an angle at the robot's shoulders...............l, to.l, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, like, thi.l, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to walk, to walk...l-s.l-s.l-s.l-s.l-s, thi.l-s, thi.l, thi.l-a.l-a.l-a.l-a.l-a, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking four propeller thrusters mounted at an angle at the robot's shoulders. When a person walks, they adjust the position and orientation of the legs to cause the center of mass to move forward, while the body's balance is maintained. Leo walks in this way as well. The propellers ensure that the robot is upright as it walks, they the leg actuators change the position of the legs to move the robot's center of mass forward through the use of a synchronized walking and flying controller. In flight the robot uses its propellers alone and flies a control. So it does fly. No, you can fly. Yes. What if you need legs for?

Why's the skateboarding for? It's kind of the same deal. That mottom. It's kind of the other Robocops they tried to make all like, oh yeah, the screaming skulls tearing their faces off. Beautiful. Because of its propellers, you can poke or prod, Leo, with a lot of force without actually knocking the robot over. Say with a lead pipe or...yeah, any sort of longish tool. It's a graduate student, Caltech and authori the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the robot of of of of of of of of of of of of of of the science the science. And the science. And the science. And the science. the science. the science. the science. the science. tool. This is Eleanor Sorner Lupu, a graduate student at Caltech, an author of the science robotics paper.

There seems to be the ultimate goal of all robotics researchers, how much you can wail on it with a baseball bat before it topples over. Hmm. I feel like they're planning something there. They know what's going to happen with the robot in the future. And that we're we're going we're going we're going th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, tho, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to to the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th........................... thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, the, the, their, tha, the robot in the future. And that we're going to want to beat it. Are they trying to make it impervious to being beaten with a baseball bat? That's the question. The first baseball bat-proof robot.

I don't really think that we should be combat testing future overlords. No. Like you want them to be as soft and beatable as possible. Like you want them to be coming into the robot into into into into into into into into into into the robot into into into into into into the robot into into into into into the robot into into the robot into into the robot into the robot into the robot into into the robot into the robot into the robot into the robot into the robot into the robot into the robot the robot the robot the robot the robot to be the robot the robot the robot to be to be to be to be to be to be to be want them to be coming into the robot revolution, not knowing the metal touch of a lead pipe being swung by, you know, a gang of teens. It should be new to them. It should be a surprise. What's this? What's this new sensation? I'm feeling, oh fuck. Why was I programmed to fuel paint? Next, the team plans to improve the performance of Leo by the the toy... the the the the the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, the, the, the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, me, me, me, me, me, the, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, the, the, the, the, the, sensation? I'm feeling, oh fuck. Why was I programmed to fuel pain? Next, the team plans to improve the performance of Leo by creating a more rigid leg design that is capable of supporting more of the robot's weight and increasing the thrust force the propellers.

In addition, they hope to make Leo more autonomous so that the robot can understand how much of to be supported by propellers when walking on uneven terrain. The researchers also plan to equip Leo with a newly developed drone landing control algorithm that utilizes deep neural networks. With a better understanding the environment, Leo could make its own decisions about the best combination of walking, flying, or hard-motion. I don't think he should do that. I don't want him to do that. No, I don't want that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th to to th to to to to to th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the to to be to be their the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to, to, with motion. I don't think he should do that. I don't want him to do that. No, I don't want that at all. Do not put a neural network in this robot. Can I all get you to get into the document and look at this image of Leo tentatively stepping forward? It's so upsetting.

Why did they make him look like that? legs are much longer than his body. Yes. He looks too fucked up. He looks from hell. Too many knees. It's like when they put the sexy legs on Kirby, you know? It does look a lot. Yeah, they got to put sexy legs on this robot and eyelashes to make it marketable. Sexy legs, curbys, toe? Because I feel like I've probably thinking of sexy legs.

I think I'm I'm probably thinking of sexy legs toad. Yeah, we want to make sure people have the right idea in their mind. Sexy legs. Also, so the combination of it having rotor blades, essentially attached to it in the way that its hands are spinning blades. It looks very aggressive. I fear this robot. He's spinning blades like Edward Scissor hands. They're on his hands. Looks like a malnourished ED209 to be.

Yes, the skeletal frame of one of those. Imagine if a battlebot with spitting blades could run after you with the grace of an Olympic sprinter. That's the horrible nightmare future. He's got so many knees. He looks um, ungulate a grade. He has like, like horse leg. You know how like they're they're balanced on their toe and they've got that extra little

joint there? They go a bit backwards. Oh don't like it. I'm not a friend to this creature. I'm not a friend to him. I will I will destroy him. Andrew that is sexy legs Kirby. I've never seen that before. Oh, I'm so sorry. I would prefer not to. Not what I was thinking about. Oh, no, there's no, I was definitely thinking of sexy legs towed. Oh, look, that's just what came up when I Google it. That's not what was pre-existing in mind, I think. You're going to need some time to consider. It's the first time I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I've th th things that I would like to wail on with

a lead pipe. Yeah. If I can make some contributions now. How do we feel about that? I would love for it. I'd love that. Okay, so, first one on here is Howard the Duck from the 1986 movie, how would the duck? Mm-hmm. Howard the Duck. He's a he's a fucked up little freak. I don't see any need to

respect him. I haven't read the comics I don't know if he's like a good character or anything but why did they make him live action they didn't have to do that. Yeah I don't think the movie with story by George Lucas really bears any relation anyway I was just I was looking at a picture on the other day because I have the Howard the Duck soundtrack on final and I was looking at the back. Hold up. Yeah what's up? What's on there? What's on there? What do you listen to on that? I think there's a bunch of Leah Thompson singing? because she is also in the movie. She's I think

she's the one who fucks Howard the Duck isn't she? Yes that certainly is suggested that they have sex and believe. It's not like a not like a scene, like a love scene. So yeah we do actually have a whole bunch of also there are several songs by Dolby's Cube. Which is I think a band that they made for the purposes of the movie. And then a bunch of score-related stuff by John Barry. So there go. Yeah, Dolby's Cube is Leah Thompson's singing and a bunch of other people. But mainly I was looking at a picture I'm thinking about like how his beak would probably

shadow when you hit him with the pipe. And a big cloud of feathers would puff out everywhere. Like you were having a pillow fight, you know? That movie though I will say is worth existing just for the like the eight second shot of a topless lady duck in the bar tricking a cocktail. Which I've posted on my Instagram story like three days ago. It's so good. They're just like, they're like,

we could cover this with bubbles. Naps. Just duck tits. It's so good. No need for that. I didn't put all that effort into creating this perfect model for you to hide it with bubbles. Let's see next we got the Michelin man. Although I started getting against him.

Like it just looks like it'd be a great test I think. Although would the pipe just bounce right off? It would bounce right off. It'd be like you'd look for a full. You'd be looking a stack of tires. Yeah. It'd swing right back and hit you in the head. I think if you want to kill the Michelin man, you probably have to strangle him with his sash. Can you just shoot him? Wouldn't a hole pop out? Oh yeah. Fighting him. Oh yeah. F about shooting. We need a new segment which is just with a spiked baseball bat because that would absolutely do the Michelin Man in I think. Next up we've got the Johnny Cab in Total Recall. Yep yeah that's a good one. That's a great one. I feel really good I think because you simultaneously have like he's obviously pretty flimsy, made out of a bunch

of like plastic and animatronic pieces. But he also has a face that you can really hate. You know? Yeah. Wouldn't have to feel too bad about it. Next one is the hamburgler. That would be so far away from my hamburgers. Let him have him. Let him have him.

Do you reckon? I paid for that hamburger. If you hit like the patty or the... Oh wait, no, he doesn't have a hamburger. You're thinking of a mammo cheese. I am picking a mammo cheese. I think that's a way better. Hold on, I'm updating my list. I'd love to have a mammoth cheese with the lip pipe and just see the top half of his head go flying off.

Oh no. I'm with you though like um if you hit him right in the patty and just the patty shot out. You know? Which is his brain? It is his brain. I think canonically speaking we can say it's his brain. I'd be trying to take the top hat off first and then see if I can knock the patty out I think and then I would just pour a jug of water over the bun. Do not like the hamburger. I do not care for him. He's nefarious. He's just too just needs hamburgers to feed his hamburger family. He is not. This isn't a Robin Hood situation. Yeah it is. This man is a bastard. He just doesn't want to work. Oh, pro cop now. We're pro cop now when it comes to the hamburger. I'm anti-hamburgler, if that makes me strange bedfellows with the police on this one issue. Grimmis. There's a man that needs a lead pipe.

He couldn't get through to him, same as Michelinman, I reckon. I put it to you that the police have been completely completely the the police the police the police the police the police the police have the police have the police have the police have the police have the the police have the police have the the police have the the police have been completely ineffective for decades in dealing with the scourge of the Hamburger and that's why it's come to vigilante justice. What's ever happened to him you know he's out there? What's his what's his crime? Stealing from McDonald's? Yeah. I think he's stealing from the customers? Like a mega corporation? No, McDonald's is stealing from the customers. Yeah that's right. It I also steal it for a big Macman. It's bloody. Dealing from the global South,

probably in a way that I can't articulate because I don't know enough about what McDonald's does, but they probably do. Pretty, pretty safe assumption. Yeah. Can you say, anticulate? picture, the way that they sort of depict the hamburger is that people are buying hamburgers and being served them and he's stealing them. I don't, I don't get, he always has like an unpackaged hamburger.

He's not stealing like ones from behind the counter. He's waiting until they come out and he's taking them off the cup. Like is he, is he mugging people? Is he threatening them? Is he pulling a gun? I heard he's got a huge sack, tiny dick. Um, I think, I think he's, he's, he's stealing out of the mouths of children and he needs to be stopped. That's my opinion. Wow. I hope that McDonald's policy is that if you buy a burger and then the hamburger takes it from you after you purchase it, they give you another burger. Because if they're just like, hey, constant vigilance, you should have kept an eye out for that

fucking clown. He's called the hamburger. We told you he was be here. Surely anything under the roof is covered by their insurance. Oh, sorry, sorry, mate, but once we've handed it over the too, the, the, the, there's really nothing we can do about it. He's over there behind that potted plant. You've let him just hang out in the restaurant all day. Has he been here for your whole shift? Yes.

It's part of their job just get approved. But he hasn't done anything before that point. So you know, they're not pre-cogs. They don't know. They're not pre-cogs. They're not pre-they. You can't be, you know, presumed guilty. You want 14-year-olds to be dealing with the hamburger. The McPrecogs, the three 14-year-old McDonald's employees lying in a like clam shell pull out the back. Two of them are like, the hamburger will steal some hamburgers while the third is like, no! Lying in a big vat of sweet and sour sauce.

Yeah. The third one's like, the McFlorie machine's down again. This one, this next one, similar theme, Mac tonight from the McDonald's commercials in the 80s and 90s. Is that the Moon Man? The Moon Face Man? Okay. Can't believe that thing is real. That's like a fucking SCP, fucking shit that Americans, because we didn't get that horrible fucking shit

over here I've never seen that until recently oh oh is that what that is thing is ghastly why is he the moon man what does that have to do with his name's back tonight and the moon comes out at night that's why he's the moon yeah that's why he's the moon yeah sure sure all right I hate him I hate him I hate him this guy fucking sucks yeah oh the funco pop of him is very unpleasant oh no I think it's a oh no this can't be what I think it is what are you looking at what you look at I think? I think this might be a company that makes custom funco pops oh that exists oh that surely exists, yeah. That extremely exists, yeah. So Mactonite, lots of smash his sunglasses into his face, tell him to get that piano out

of the restaurant, mind his own business. Next, look, I have to admit I was thinking about something in particular for a while here. The next one was Grimmus. Yeah. Yeah. Grimmus can, Grimmus can get humbled. I think terrible pipe feel on Grimmus though. You think it'd be too soft? Too soft. I think it'd be like too, it'd yield too easily or kind of sink in? Yeah, do you think it's sinking or it'd be like bouncy? I... well, like sooner or later it's got to hit the guy inside, right? Yeah, I think you'd get your pipe stuck in him. If we're thinking of... Yeah, but if we're thinking of Grimus is not a suit, but an actual...

Grimus is a sentient taste bud uh, Grimus is a man. Sentient being. Yeah. Grimus is a sentient taste bud, that's right, and he has bones. You think Grimus has bones? What? I mean, how else is he like... Otherwise you're suggesting that he is an invertebrate and that he has some sort of horrible, the sort of horrible, thiruble, thuble, thuble, thuble, thuble, thuble, thuble, thuble, and thuble, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he has, and he has, and he has, and he has, and he has, and he has, and he has thu-a-a-u-uble, and he has thu-u-a- thublea- and he has some, and he has some, and he has some, and he has some, and he has some, and he has some, and he has some, and he has some, and thutee. thutee. thuble, and, and, and, and, and thuble, and he has, and thi-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-a, and thi.. thi. And, and thi. And, and thi. And, and thi. thi, and thi, and thi, and thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. theanan, and theanan, and the. And, and the. And, like a marine creature. Oh, is that why we've never found any grimace fossils? Yeah, you don't know that he lives on her. Yeah, like sharks, he can't get cancer. Can I?

Can I? Can I, uh... He's a model. Look, I know we're going back a bit here, but can I, can I just share with you the o'clock. the original marketing campaign the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins the origins origins the origins origins the origins of of the origins the origins the origins of of the origins the origins the origins of the origins of the origins of the origins of the origins of that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the origins. the origins of Mac tonight, the Moon Man from the commercial. Go on, why did this thing exist? If you must. The original marketing campaign was from 86 to 89. This is from Wikipedia.

The campaign was created locally for California McDonald's franchisees by the Los Angeles Advertising firm Davis, Johnson, Mogal and Columato. Looking to increase the after 4 p.m. dinner business, the agency was inspired by the song Mac the Knife by Kurt Weil and Bertold Brecht, which was made famous in the United States by Bobby Darren in 1959 so they had something nice and topical then. After deciding not to feature real people or celebrities, the designers settled on an anthropomorphic crooner moon on a man's body with the 1950s style sunglasses. Yeah. How do you get from one to the other?

Yeah, I mean they should have settled on something. Co-cales. The song and style were designed to appeal to baby boomers and a revival of 1950s style music and popular culture. The character who played a grand piano at the floating cloud or a giant Big Mac was intended to garner a cult-like following like Mac's Headroom. I can see it. Parallel there, certainly, but I don't understand how a cult-like following would present itself. Well, because like the origins of Max Headroom was like somebody who hacked a television signal and like a TV pirate who took over a TV signal and freaked a bunch of people out.

Sure, but how does that relate to selling a burger after 4 p.m. What if we made a nice commercial with a Moon Man who sang a song to you? And that's why we're not in the advertising business. Oh, that's true. I am. And I'm going to create another one of these men. Get this, he looks hideous as fuck and everyone hates him. Buy a burger.

Well, my final entry on the list for this evening is the T1,000 from Terminator 2 after he has been frozen by liquid nitrogen. Yeah, that'd be a tree. Oh, yeah, that'd be nice. Wouldn't that be fun? Ultimate pipe feel. Yeah. It's a quality pipe feel.

Did anyone else add any entries to their ongoing infinite list of lead piping? Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. I don't feel negatively towards the inhabitants of the Pepper Pig universe at all. Yeah I do. Okay. Well I guess I don't have kids. Pepper is rude as fuck. She's a pig in all the senses. Yeah. I've only ever seen like the clip of the the whistling episode which is the funniest shit in the world. The whistling episode. You know the bit where it's a pig pig pig pig pig pig pig pig th wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, the whistling episode, which is the funniest shit in the world. The whistling episode. You know the bit where it's Pepper Pig and she's on the phone with a friend and pepper is sad because she's, pepper is a girl picker. I don't know. She's sad because everyone else else can whistle, they're tel. And she's tel told to one of her friends and she's like, oh I hate that I can't whistle. Everyone says you just put your lips together and blow and then that's it. And one of her friends says, don't worry, I can't whistle either. And then whistles successfully and Pepper just hangs up on

her ice cold. It's fucking dope. Just get some wide eye look at her eyes and that just hits hang up on the phone. It's brutal. I support Pepper. They're always, they're always calling her dad fat and laughing at him. That's mean. Very mean. Wow. But you know, it is British. So. That's true.

That's all I got. Hello. It's me. Ben. From this podcast. Merriam Webster defines a podcast as a program made available in digital format for automatic download over the internet. And that simply could not be more true. If you like what we do and want more of this podcast made available to you in digital format for automatic download over the internet, simply go to Patreon Vista and hit the

enormous red button that says subscribe. For five US dollars a month you get access to our weekly bonus episodes, our our entire archive of bonus episodes, our exclusive Discord server, and an RSS feed of both the bonus episodes and free episode that doesn't have these ads in them. That sweet, sweet subscriber cash allows me to do this show full-time without having to get a real job, and frankly, that whips to me. The other guys also get some money or whatever, but I don't really care. Anyway, check that out if it sounds good to you. Love you. Speaking of th that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that, th that, that that that that that that that that that that that tho, thus thus thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the the the the theats, that that that that that that that that that they that that that that that the the the the most disgusting country in the world, Britain, must be time to give

another update on what's been happening. Ben, which theme we were using for that one? That's the Bean to Bar theme song. Okay, feel free to edit that bit out where I'm asking me. Ah, leave it in there. I forgot about it. The sausage is getting made. There it is.

So over the last couple of weeks we have had a few stories. We've had a story about how, um, a few, like I'm going to say anywhere from zero to one people have had a tin of beans emptied out on their property and they have talked to the paper about it as though it were both a trend sweeping the nation and a hideous crime. Yeah, it's been happening to doors, driveways and cars all over the nation. It's been happening to door, driveway and car all over the nation. It's been happening to door, driveway and car all over the nation. And then we had the follow-up the week after where things have really gone from bad to worse.

That's right. A teen emptied out a tin of spaghetti oops. Yeah, they started ooping. Oh, I've been oopped. I've been pleading o bleated ooped. And now we have the update on this. Basically, you know, things have not been going well in the UK. That are big, big cues for petrol. No food in the grocery stores. And the reason that there's no food in the grocery stores is this. From Kent Online. Beans, eggs and sausages thrown at homes and cars in New Romney during Bazaar vandalism spree.

Now I don't want to, I just want to put some forward sizzle here. Towards the end of this article is the best single sentence we have ever had from a new story in the 450-ish episodes of this podcast. Very big call. And I don't want any of you to read ahead. I just want you to find it organically. Okay, here we go. Two pensioners have been left shaken and scared after the contents of a 40-p-tin of Aldi

beans were thrown at their front door. Come on. It's just shaking and scared. Should they have used a better quality tin of beans? Oh no, Bim B. Oh, those is premium beans. Don't worry about. Oh, no- foreign beans from Aldi.

Their house in Joseph's way, New Romney was one of a number of homes and vehicles, left covered in baked beans, sausages, and eggs following the bizarre spate of vandalism. We've ramped it up to sausages and eggs now. You are getting a full fry up. This is crazy. It's a substantial meal this time. Getting the big breakfast on your voxel. Sheila McLaughlin, who is one of Britain's first woman priests, was at home with her mum, Gwelda Sammers,

when she saw a light shining at the door before hearing a thud and voices. Miss McLaughlin, who retired as a vicar in Ashford in 2015, said, I opened the door and I thought it was blood at first, but then I realized it was beans, sausages, and tomato juice. The can was also left behind. So what's the assertion here that someone's knocked on the door and like pranked her by leaving some of their blood on the ground? This is also like a joke thing that you would do if you were making fun of British news stories would be to randomly throw a vicar into it. Is this perfect?

Yeah, just making shit up at this point. The food came from a can of corral baked beans with sausages from Aldi. Well there it is. They're combined in one ten. You've made it sound worse by saying there was beans, sausages and tomato juice. You're saying this all came from one can by the sounds of it. It's very convenient. Following the attack on Sunday nights of the mother and daughter called the police. What? Why do you call the police? They picked up one of the different landline headsets in the house at the same time. They got on there and they both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both their. their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're the. You're saying this this this this all this all this this this this this this this this this this this this this this. You're this. You're this. You're this. You're this. You're th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. You're saying. You're saying. their their their their their their their their their their their their landline headsets in the house at the same time. They got on there and they both called the police at the same time. Wife of the show, my beautiful wife Elna, was reading, she reads like the neighborhood Facebook groups and like next door things and stuff.

Love next door. It's a recipe for madness. And someone, someone posted a thing a few times saying, I got swooped by a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the someone has posted the thing a few times saying, I got swooped by a magpie in this area. Look out everybody and they've marked it out on the map and everything. This magpie followed me for 300 to 400 meters. I just saw that on Twitter 300 to 400 meters. And then they said, I've reported it to Access Cambror. What's Access Cambron? So that's just like Australian local government services basically. So, it's like, I called the dog catcher because a magpie swoop me during

magpie swooping season. Yeah, they love to do that, to swoop. Magpies love to swoop during magpie swooping season. They do. When Lucy came and stayed with us, it was magpie swooping season. And there is one that nests. And it was one that nests, like, there's a footpath that runs down behind our house, and there's a magpie nest right up in the tree,

and you can see it from our place. And the magpie that's there just hangs out and waits specifically for small children to come by. If you are an adult, the magpie will leave you alone. If you are a child standing next to an adult, the magpie will leave you alone. If you are a child thia thia thia thia thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi the thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thi, thus, the the the the thoes, th. thoes, th. thoes, th. the the the the the magpie will leave you alone. If you're a child by yourself, you're getting fucked up. And so we'll just be hanging out inside and we just hear, ah! Ah! Ah! And so this is the season weather starts getting nice and we

just sit out on the deck and listen to the screams, you know. I'm I'll invite you guys to check out the site magpie alert dot com where people log their atta tacks.. their their tax. tax. tax. tax. tax. tax. tax. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. I t, their tie. I tied their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to. I. I. I to to to tie. I tip. I tip. I today. I today. I'm today. I'm today. I today. I today today. So. So. So, today today. So. So, today. So, tod to check out the site magpie alert.com where people log their magpie attacks. This is good, I guess. This is one like literally around the corner from my house. That could be you. That could have been you. It could have been me.

It could have been swoop. The only place I've ever really been nailed by magpies is on my own street Um, very unfortunate. Anyway, fuck magpies. Yeah, magpies don't swoop in Tasmania. People kept saying that to me when I moved to and I thought everyone was fucking with me because I'm Victorian. And then there's all these news articles about it. The magpies here just aren't like territorial. What do they do if they're not swooping?

if they're not swiping. Just vibin, like they're just vibing. They're just hanging out. This is very funny. Register swoopings, whether you are cycling, walking, running, skateboarding, or just in your backyard, we want to hear from you. And the big button that says, record your attack here.

Jesus. Just hundreds and hundreds of them. Beaning. Beaning. Beaning. Beans. So following the attack, they called the police to say, I've been, someone's put tomato juice. I've been beaned, officer, constable. I've been beaned.

Ooy, o'e, o'e, o'e. The next morning, they discovered more homes and vehicles had been targeted. Miss McLaughlin, who moved to Romney Marsh six years ago and is also a town councillor for New Romney Town Council, said, it was only the next morning we realized the extent of it. Go on there. She's fancy. Three houses have been egged, we've been beamed, a car was beamed, and there's another house which was either beamed or egged. Can I just, I'm going to read that again. Yeah, please give me one more. One more of that.

Three houses have been egged, we've been beened, a car was beamed and there's another house which was either beamed or egged. Sorry, just in case people didn't hear it the first time. Three houses have been egged we've been beamed, a car was beamed and there's another house which was ever egged or beened. Oh, it's perfect. It's the most British sentence, no, the most English sentence in the history of the English language. I, for some reason, I don't know why, but I have absolutely assumed from this whole article that the eggs are cooked.

Yeah, me too. I was picturing that. I was picturing a kind of breakfast situation. Like some scrambled eggs? I don't know why. I was thinking it was a single- like perfectly fried egg. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know why, but in my mind, because this is clearly somebody is you know distributing a fry-up.

So they're gonna be giving you a cooked egg. I don't think anyone's emptying out a tin of beans and then throwing some eggs in shells you know. It doesn't have that kind of five. Sending mixed messages yeah. It's extremely good. We initially thought it was targeted, but we're not sure now, so many houses were it. My first thought was it was to do with me as a town councillor, but I don't think so now. I thought it was a political assassination. Scratching a head. Like, they're sending me a message.

I don't know what. God Almighty. But the incident has left Miss McLaughlin and her mum feeling shaken. It's a nerving, she said. Have you not got anything else in your life? No, they're English. Yeah, that's true. I'd leave this town, but we can't get any petrol. Roast them. Even in all my years as a vicar, I've never had anything like this. So even with the extensive life experience of a vicar. Look, you think it's going to prepare you for everything. Then you get beaned, you know? I don't tell you about the beanings in vicar school, you think it's gonna prepare you for everything. Then you get beaned, you know?

I don't tell you about the beanings in Vicar school, you know? Too many people quit. They used to tell you, but too many people quit right there and there. Oh my goodness. Miss McLaughlin said she was aware of a group of teenagers causing trouble on the estate but added that she could not be sure it was them. That's the most like you were an elderly snitch bullshit. Well there are some teens around so I figure it was probably them but I have literally no evidence. Make sure you put it in the

paper though. Yeah and call the cops as well they're gonna like put down the pile of like rape kits that they're supposed to be processing. Yeah they were. Get straight in the car. We got a pot work here boys. Beans. I can't be having this. Not in my town. Not me Amlet, you know. I thought I'd never see a beaning in my own town. So that um the spaghetti oops story that we spoke about in the, uh, the bonus was a dope pipe feel. Uh, the woman in that story said that she thought that the spaghetti hooping had been a, one of those burglary tricks which made us all say what are you fucking talking about but I found I have found the burglary trick in question

Andrew would you like to read this story from the Manchester Evening News here I would love to do that Mum's important warning after being targeted by clever kidney bean burglary trick what the fuck is going on over there it's the bean burglary it's the classic bean burglary b b b. that been b. that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th- th-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-a-b-I th-b-burg-b-I th-I th-I th-I th-I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th-I I th-I I th-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-burg-burg-b-b-burg-b-b-burglea-b-b-burglea-b-burge''''er-b-b-burge' trtr- What the fuck is going on over there? It's the bean burglary, it's the classic bean burglary that everyone knows and loves. The bean bandits. A mum has issued a warning after being targeted by clever burglary trick. Maria Cholino Strakke woke up to find a disgusting mess of kidney beans on her doorstep on Monday morning.

At first, she thought she'd just been the victim of a silly prank. But after her speaking to her relative, who is an ex-police officer, she discovered the mess was a sign of something more sinister. So she didn't get robbed? Is that what I'm going to say? She was not the... Yeah. No, this is a different woman who has only th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, she thi, she thi, she thi, she tho, she tho, she tho, she tho, she tho, she tho, she tho, she tho, she th. She th. She th. She th, she th, she th, she th, she th, she th, she th, she th, she th, she th, she th, she th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, she, she thi, she thi, she thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, she that, she thoooo. that what I'm going to the story? She was not the, yeah. No, this is a different woman who has only had beans on her doorstep and that's what the story is about. But, I think what they're kind of claiming here is a definite like bare rock kind of situation where she walked out and, because the, we'll read on.

Okay, here we go. Oh, there's an explanation. I see. And it's extremely stupid. She now believes the kidney beans were used as a tactic by potential burglars wanting to scope out whether people were at home. Well, I woke up for this left on our doorstep this morning, she wrote in a Facebook post. Apparently, this is a known trick of burglars. If not cleaned up in a couple of days, they know you are not at home and in they go. Thankfully I'm home and clean this up.

However, it was done this about 1 a.m. this morning. Look out for your neighbors, especially those that are on holidays. So let's track this. this. Let this. This this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. m. this morning. Look out for your neighbors, especially those that are on holidays. So let's track this. Let's track this. So she woke up. She found kidney beans. She cleaned it up. She talked to an ex-police officer that said, that's a trick. And then she put that on Facebook, and now this is in the news. And now it's in the news. That is the life. That is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the life. That's that's the life. the life. that's that's that's that's th. th. th. the the th. this. this. this. So this. So this. So this. So this. So this. So this. So this. this. So this. So this. this. So. this. this. this. this. this. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's that's that's the the the that's the the tra. trac. So let's trac. So let's trac. So let's trac. So. So let's th. So. So. So. that on Facebook and now this is in the news. And now it's in the news. That is, that's the life, the world that we live in. At no point in this entire process did anybody get robbed? Yes, that's right.

However, or they got like confirmation as to whether this had actually been... So speak. What? this had actually been, so speak, you know, an actual kind of method that had been commonly used. Well, the uh... How it compares against just like wrapping on a window, seeing whether they're, why aren't they're fucking, why aren't they just like knocking on the door and seeing if anyone answers.

It's a known trick. Why is this, burglars, you know, classically love to, to, the door and and seeing if anyone answers. It's a known trick. Why is this? Burglars trick. Burglars you know classically love to you know go through a series of like Rube Goldbergian steps to work out whether or not they're going to steal from a house. What you never do is carry a 30 kilo sack full of tins of beans with you and bean every house on the street. How do people go around their fucking lives like just going like, oh yeah that makes sense to me I can't imagine what else it would be? You never go over and clean up the beans? You never go on holiday and ask one of your friends to beans it for you? Like, hey, hey, come over every two or three daysthe beans. I just need to water my plants and pressure clean my driveway in case there's beans on there.

Well, I mean... And the reporter's just going, oh yes, yeah, absolutely. I'm hearing more and more about this. I did read a different post about this. And this is journalism now. I mean, this is someone that works at a tabab so what they've done is that they have they've gone into a very small locked and an airtight room and they've done a whole bunch of farts and they've just hyper-ventilated to make sure that all of their

blood is aerated with just fart gas and then they've gone out they've typed out this story in about five or six minutes. But Ben, I am also doing that. Yeah. And I'm still kind of got most of like the functioning cells to put together. You got a job. Some of us have to be writers, you know? Yeah. Like. Sorry, Jerry. Some of us have to live the life of the mind. Well, the one thing that's indisputable as far to live to live to live to live to live to live the life to live to live the life to live to live the life to live to live the life to live the life to live to live to live the life to live the life to live to live the life to live the life the life to live the life to the life to the life the life the life the life the life the life the life to the life the life the life. the life the life. the life the life the life the one thing that is like to me... I'm fucking nuts.

The one thing that's indisputable, as far as I'm concerned, is that there was a really clear effect as a result of this story being published, which is that some lady, some lady read it, and she said, that must be what's happening to me. Oh, it's a burglary trick. Oh classic burglary trick you know and you don't want to get burglary tricked. No let me tell you that. Luckily we've all been home to clean up the mess but or we paid a bean sitter.

You got to hire a bean sitter when you go on holiday. Like wasn't the things like wasn't the thing like isn't that why people get their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin thin thin thin thin. thin thin. thin. thin. thin thin thin thin to thin to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to bea. I to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to things. th. thin. the. thin. the. the. the. the. thin. the. their the. the. the. the. to to to to the. to to to to to to to to to the thing, like, isn't that why people get their neighbor to bring their mail in? Yeah, and the bins in and out? Like, don't watch out if you've got your bins out the front there, someone going in and steal you. Just, can I have the fucking cow? The, the cow? The cow? Oh, the, just a little... Yeah. Sorry, injection they're thing please. Oh the... The... just a little...

Yeah, sorry, injection there confused me slightly, but you're talking about having a metal cylinder injected into your brain to kill you. Yeah. No, we can sort that out, that's fine. I'm... I'm ready. That's um, that's actually one of our employee benefits here at the post has since been shared over 2,000 times by other social media users. Yes, well maybe, maybe, how many people live in Kent I wonder. Oh no, this is the Manchester Evening News. No, tons of people there. The 2000 is nothing. I will tweet, I'm farting and I'm also shitting and get 2,000 retweets.

And if that saves even one life, it would be worth it. My goodness. Uh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, um, Maria lives in the Northeast, but says she was told by her relative that the trick is a well-known method used by burglars across the country. It's not just beans, she said, speaking to the Manchester Evening News. They use anything that you would have to clean up and it's not gonna wash away with a bit of rain. That's true. Tortiers, Pulski or gorky, you know, anything on those slid lentils.

Tin of beans was not just wash a breakfast. Prattlis pancake things with the cabbage and cheese in between. Mm-hmm. Yep. Yeah. What if I live in a rental property and I don't care about what's outside my house? What if I don't care about my driveway being dirty? Well, I'll be in there with the lead pipe. Why don't they all just leave a can of beans out there so that the potential robbers think that another person has already beaned them? And that's their territory. And that's their territory.

Well, it's all I already marked. Oh, so this is similar to my amazing scheme for free parking everywhere, which is where you print out a perfect replica of one of those police aware stickers, and then you put it on the back of your car. So a cop comes along to give you a ticket and they go, oh, no, there's already a police aware sticker this is an abandoned vehicle. And it's pretty, well, it seems like a pretty good thing because you know police aren't, they're just used to seeing sort of like colors and shapes and stuff and I'll just go they'll just walk straight away. Must have been the wind and then walk off and then I drive off.

Yeah to them that car is invisible. Yeah so everyone should be in their own house is what you're saying. Being your own house put a sticker on your car. Yep. It's the perfect crime. Being your own house, put the police on their sticker on your car. Yeah. It's the perfect rhyme. Being your house, being your grandmother's house, being all of your relatives. Help your grand out. Help your grand out. This is sort of like the biblical story of the the ten plagues of Egypt where they sell the, they tell all of the Israelites to put the blood above their doorway except we're telling everyone to put the eating on your doorstep. Yeah. Check out the Bible. Don't. A big Bible heads on this podcast. God in the Old Testament, lead pipe. Wow. The New Testament God though, you're like, he was so catty. He seems like a cool guy. He's kind of chill. I can get down with the new testeste the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thest the the the the the the the thestestestest. the things the things things things. things. things. things things things things. things. things things things things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thean thean thean thean thean thean to they theeeean they they're thean they're thean theeean the he seems like a cool guy. Yeah, he's kind of chill. I can get down with that.

I can get down with the New Testament God. Check out the NIV Bible. Just imagine putting like a perfectly white button-down shirt on Leonardo. The... The Christian robot. I'm just imagining a bunch of cops standing around, no pads out. It's very sad. Looks like he beamed his family, then turned the beans on himself. You hate to see it. Very sad. It looks like he beamed his family, then turned the beans on himself.

You hate to see it. You hate to see it. Very sad. The one thing as well that I feel like we kind of glossed over in this is that, so we have, if we backtracked to the original story, we've got a lady who got beaned, right? We're not denying she got beaned here, folks. She also got egg and sausageed. Not the first lady from the story a couple weeks ago. Hey, checking some hash browns, you got yourself for breakfast. She got beaned and camping stools.

Yes, that's true. She got free camping stool out of it, and she's still complaining. So she got some beans and a bit of free furniture and she said I was worried it was the burglary trick and clearly she has read that on Facebook she was one of the people who got exposed to one of the 2,000 shares on Facebook and then she herself has been breakfasted and has said oh I remember this I remember this I read this on Facebook so you know that must happen. then the original person who thrown. she got some thi thi th, and she she she she she she she she she she she she th. And th. And thly thly she thly thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the- the the thi the- the- the- the- the. And clearly the. And clearly thly the. And clearly the the the the thly thly thly thly thly thly thly the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee three the three thr-c-c-c-c I read this on Facebook, so you know, that must happen. But then the original person who shared it in the first place was like, oh I thought it must have been one of these burglary tricks. And that person was talking to her own, who wasn't her sister, who was an ex-police officer, not even a current cop. Not even someone who someone who was like, oh yeah, I was out on patrol last week, fourth beaning of the week.

Can't believe what I've seen out there on these streets. You are getting this from your ex-police officer relative who is also sitting at home reading about it on Facebook. Yeah. Do you think of anyone dumber than an ex-police officer relative? Like just imagining the archetype of the dumbest person on Facebook. And it's a relative of yours that's an ex-cop. Like your uncle who used to be a cop.

You're a cop for three years and then you were fired. Well, as long as it's something that can't be washed away with a bit of rain. The mum says that since learning about the trick, she has been keeping regular tabs on her elderly neighbors and ensuring all her doors are locked. That's so good. Hey, grandma, hey, make sure you stay scared. Don't relax in. There's beans. There's beans.

There's robbers. I got tens of 40 ppm. Beans. That's, that's, that's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, the the the the th, the th, the the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tri-a, tra, tre-a' trick, trick, trick, trick, trick, trick, tri-tri-tri-tri-a-tri-tha-a, th's burglars. I got tens of kidney beans, tens of 40 p.m. beans, that's so true. Hey, you haven't seen someone buying beans, have you? I even smell beans. Monitoring the vegans that you know. She wants to raise awareness. So that other residents can look out for their elderly neighbors or those on holiday. Ah, the most valuable activity in history, raising awareness. Yeah, it's done so much for us all. Well, I mean someone raised awareness of the concept of a

of a malicious beaning and look at the great effect that's had on their society. I posted about it because I wanted to warn people and get him to look out for each other. Maria said if it helps one person it was worth it. It won't though. It's not going to know. It's not going to help anyone. It's not going to help anyone. It's kind of actively kind of just just harming things worse. You've scared someone's nann to death and I hope you're happy. Yeah. Oh, peen.

Oh, me art. My goodness. How much of a fucking morons. So what do we think, folks? Do we have time for a couple of letters before we get out of here? Can we respond? That sounds to the Bundy Vista hotline. Smash it out. Go straight in, dive in. I'd love to live

deliciously Andrew. One eight hundred three, one, seven, five, one five, that's the Bontavista hotline. One, eight hundred, three, one, seven, five, that's the Pultivista hotline. You can send us an email. Mail back at Bolsista.orghavista. Maybe DM us on Twitter. You could even message Facebook. We don't really check the Facebook.

Yeah. Eight hundred, three, one, seven, five, five, one, that's the Pultivista hotline. One, eight hundred, three, one, seven, five, five, five, five, one, thousand, five, five, five, five, five, five, that................ That, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, seven, the, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, eight, seven, eight, eight, eight, seven, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, the, eight, the, that's the Boltervista hotline [phone] that's the Buntervista hotline Now that's true we don't really check the Facebook Not not religiously or anything although Ben has been very studiously keeping up with the voicemails lately I certainly have been. And we are getting your emails now as well. We love to, if we don't reply to them, it's just because I couldn't think of what to say.

Yeah. But thank you. First letter we got here is from Friend of the show Ineca? Inica. Inica. Iica. Maybe. I could be wrong. There's every chance in the world that I'm wrong. I'm going to say that one for sure.

Okay. And they say it's not the actual Zodiac killer, right? Surely not. Oh, nice. So, um, theoretically, the Zodiac killer has been posthumously unmasked. I saw that but thu-theae their their their their their their their their their their their their their the Zodiac Killer has been posthumously unmasked. I saw that but I only saw memes. I saw like 10 different meme versions, so I don't know what the actual story is. Well, the story is that a group of people, a bunch of, a bunch of like,

ex-cops and lawyers and amateur sleuths and such, have done a bunch of research, and they have declared, oh no, it's a code-breaking team from the United States Australia and Belgium the most racist team in history. So they have declared that it is a guy named Gary F. Post I believe he's had some some of his family members come out and say, I believe it. Oh, that's good. Wow. Yeah, Gary sucked. Not only did several of them say, I believe it, but one of them said, it's my birthday and I believe it. And all of this

coming out is a great little birthday present for me. That's so good. Imagine the person you hate the most and someone's like, do you think they could have been the Zodiac killer and you're like, yes. Oh my god, yes. Yeah, would you like the world to know? Sure. Why not? I absolutely believe that. I will I will testify, you know. However, you know, hard to say after somebody is dead and also this group of people sounds like they're gearing up to like do a podcast about it or whatever. They're doing that serial shit. Who knows? Who knows?

Here's my suggestion. I think that somebody should come forward and confess to being the zodiac killer just to muddy the waters. Yeah. That's a that. I'm a that. I'm a this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this group. this group. this group. this group. this group. this group. this group. this group this this this this this this this this this this this this group this this this this this this group. this this this this this this this this this this this this this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. thoooooo. th. thoooooo. the the the the the the the the the the thoooooo. their their their th, I think that somebody should come forward and confess to being the Zodiac Killer just to muddy the waters. Yeah, that also make a lot easier. Yeah, make it fun. Have fun with it. Jazz it up a little, you know? I mean there's a good chance that the Zodiac Killer listens to this podcast. 50 50 50 yeah. Hi sweetie, yeah. What do we else? What do we else? What do we else? What do we else? You know? Question for the podcast from George.

Hello all, how are you? Let's go around the room quickly. Theo, how? I'm pretty, pretty tired actually. I haven't been sleeping real, real good. Finn sort of up a bunch throughout the night. You probably heard him screaming, various points tho th th th th th th tho tho tho to tho to to tho tho to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho else tho else. What tho else. What tho else. What tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the thooooooooooooooooooooooo the tho good. Finn's sort of up a bunch throughout the night you probably heard him screaming various points through this podcast. Good or bad is fine you can just.

Oh good. Good. Lucy how are you? Are you? Good, you? I'm tired. I'm tired, man. Yeah, I'm great.

Great. Okay. Okay, we've got two tired out of four. Ben, how you feeling? Yeah, I'm great. Great, okay. Must be nice. Yeah, sorry. It's pretty good. Uh, I'm feeling all right. Feeling pretty good. I think I get to quit my job next week.

Yeah. Ooh. Ooh. If you are from my work and listening to this podcast, do not tell anyone before next week. Woo! Uh, what did you have for your most recent meal? That's the question. Lucy, go. I made a bloody, Celiriac soup for dinner. Oh, fuck, yeah, you did.

It's a delight. Got a Celiriac in my veggie box. I was like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna make a soup it's great you got like 50-50 with potato in that bad boy or just straight up I pull one potato some leeks some onion oh yeah oh not bad fuck yeah yeah it's good as hell nice Ben your most recent meal I cooked an enormous steak over the fire last night with the dog and he had about half

of it. Uh, and then that was the meal. That's fucking great. That sounds nice. Oh, it was really good. I overcooked it slightly. Uh, I hadn't, I didn't get my coals sorted out quite right, which is a little, which is a little bit that's okay. I'm getting th, I th, I the th, I the th, I the th, I th, I th, I th, I the th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, that, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thiiiii. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, pretty okay at it, but I fucked this one up a little tiny bit. Would have liked it been a little less, but that's okay.

Teabird. Those sound like really nice sort of wholesome meals. So Caitlin wasn't at home today. And sometimes when she's not home, I treat myself by walking on down to the food works. Picking up a two pack of frozen McCain's pizzas. Oh yeah.

They got you, we got the very finely shredded ham and I'm doing scarequotes here. And the spiced, which is in square, scare quotes, and beef. And there I slapped that bad boy in the oven for about 15 minutes while I was waiting for my integration tests to run. And then I ate that while watching a Anthony Fentano video on YouTube.

Huh, that sounds nice. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yet to eat dinner. I made the mistake of like eating lunch too early because I was hungry. I ate a peanut butter sandwich while I was walking around out in nature looking at birds. So I was like, oh by the time we do all the podcasting it'll be late so I'll eat something now and I had a bowl of the the good instant ramen, like

Tokyo Shoy ramen and except I got some of like we got all the stuff for hot pot so I've got like a bunch of frozen fish balls and stuff in the freezer so I threw some fish bowls in there and we've got like some of the sort of shaved shaved lamb that you put in hot pot and I threw that in there too so that's some proteins sounds pretty good it was pretty good it was pretty good for an instant ramen you know that is what I ate And then George rounds it out by saying, also I was going to ask how I become more attractive and intelligent, I've heard I can achieve this by subscribing to the Buntavista Patreon. Is that true? It's true. You already nailed it. You

sound so hot. You sound super hot and cool. Very smart. Very smart. You know? Yeah. Of course you can sign up for that by going to Patreon.com slash Buntavista. And uh, hey, let's take one more before we get out of here. It is also meal related. Hi guys, says Alana. Last meal, what would it be? Lucy? Fuck. Come back to me. Ben. What would it be? Um, it would be? Um, it would be? Um, it would be? It would be? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to th. to to to to to to to to th th th th th that that, that that that that that that that, that, that, that, that, that to that to that, that, that, that that that that, that, that, by that, by that, by that, by that, by that, by that, by to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that to that that to that that that that th th th th th th th th that that that th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to me. Come back to me. Ben, what would it be? It would be the Ruben sandwich from Mongrel, which is their Rubin that's made of kangaroo Pastrami that they make themselves. And it is just, it's the king of sandwiches. It's my favorite sandwich in the world. I would like to eat that sandwich before I go to meet my creator. Uh, Theo. Hey, okay, so I'm probably at this point quite disturbed with the knowledge that I'm about

to die. Appetite's gone? Well, I'm feeling this most of the time, but this time I know it's for real. So yeah, appetite's gone. I don't want to think thapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapap I'm tha tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho-a appetite's tho-I tho that tho-a' tho-I th th th th th th th tho-I th tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to thi to thi to to thi to thi to to to to to to thi to to thi to thi to thi thi thi. thi. thi. I th don't want to think too hard. So I'm going to go the McCain's frozen pizza from Foodworks. Perfect. Look, I do love a good steak. Maybe I would get one of the like absurdly expensive Japanese Wagyu kind of deals, you know. Maybe, maybe some sort of, maybe one of those like, those like cubes of scalloped potatoes on the side, some nice greens. Real fancy. Yeah that would

probably, it'll probably do. I mean Lucy, go. Yeah, mine's Taco Bell. It's Taco but it's like 30 spicy potato, soft tacos and then like 10 cheesy gourdita crunches. Which is the reason why it's your last meal. That's self-fulfill. I'm not on death row. I've just decided to eat this. Yeah, now I go. I had a good run.

Well now die from diaria. That's why they call it that it comes from the Latin die meaning to die. Yep and Rea. Big bird that pet Bolsono. God that man loves getting COVID. Well that's it for us everybody thank you for joining us. Thank you for learning what it is to be beamed and considering the things that you would like to hit with a lead pipe. If you would like to share with us what you would like to hit with lead pipe, please run into mailbag at Buentevista.com and we can share your bloodlust on the show. See you next time everybody. Peace. Bye. Bye. you to be