Boonta Vista - EPISODE 221: America's First All-Operation Paperclip College Football Team

Episode Date: October 14, 2021

It's beat poetry night at Boonta Vista as we bring you: a Kentuckian edition of Great American Hall of Name, a meteor-anticipating psychic dog, a list format Paging Dr Lucy, and The Shipping Report. *** Outro: Left Side Drive - Boards of Canada *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to one of this episode 221 and you've joined us on... Poetry Night. Oh my sake. Goddame it. You're here at the poetry cafe and I'm up on stage. It looks like a smoke-filled room, but you're not allowed to smoke inside places anymore. Our nanny state wouldn't have that.

Instead, the air is sickeningly thick with hundreds of incense sticks. All clashing and competing varieties. They don't go together at all. You immediately have a headache. But you're willing to endure it for this night of poetry. This night of beautiful rhythmic words, and I have prepared some special poetry for my friends here today. It's all going to take place in the form of haiku. So let me start off with an ode to one of my co-hosts here at Poetry Night.

Ben, your mullet flowing. Shorts getting shorter each day. Such beauty I see. Snaps. That was beautiful. Snaps. Now I know what you're thinking. That's got to be as good as poetry gets right. Wrong. I've written several more haikus. Did you just write these just before the show? Is that why you were sweet? Do you have them ready to go?

You have to write them before poetry night, silly. Anyway... I don't know if the drums and haiku really necessarily. Well, it's more of a fusion poetry night. Next poem. Theo, new father, sitting with his young son, which one's the baby? I'm clicking out of out of politeness. Nervous politeness.

Just the sound of polite clicking. Agreed. Oh, okay. And finally, to introduce the final member of the podcast and Poetry Night. Thirsting for Gollum. Finding the worst 3D porn. Lucy, you need help. Thank you. Thank you. Wow. I didn't know we're getting so personal here at poetry night. Well poetry is always personal. My dirty laundry on

stage here at poetry night. It's literally the last thing that you spoke to us about. Yeah it's fresh in my book account. So on and so forth. The dirty laundry, it's been aired. You know? So, I'm just going to be doing that all for show. Anyway, I can tell you that off remotely or is that just going to. No, it's going to keep going. So, you know, that's poetry, that's art.

And art can be painful, Lucy. Art can involve bearing your soul or having somebody else bear your soul for you. Yeah, like by 3D rendering Golem's penis. Yeah. Why were you looking that up anyway? I was, I don't, I don't know. I was curious to see if there was Lord of the Rings porn, because I was like, of course there is. It was mostly just like hot girls with elf ears on. But th, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I, I, I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, th, th, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, art, th th th th th th th th th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that, th mostly just like hot girls with elf ears on but then I scrolled too far and then it became like a 3D rendered golem getting a blowjob in a bathroom from one of the final fantasy characters. So I think of all the kinds of porn that like you know are not me, but I can see someone kind

of look like, you know, I can see somebody getting it. Go on. The 3D, the poorly rendered 3D porn is not one of them. So it is for you. I don't. So it is for you. What? You were saying that it's not one of the ones where it's not for you, so it is for you.

No, I believe I said of all the types of porn, like I think we heard what you said, it's not for me. I think we all know what you said that's fine. Yeah. Who's making? Like I'm no computer guy, but it takes a long time to make like a 20-minute 3-a-minute th-minute-minute-minute right I think there's software that kind of does it for you like kind of prepackaged scenarios sort of thing that that golem you know that was just that wasn't a real golem that was just a human body with a bad face yeah okay a weird colored body body I'm like I know you can like buy pre-made 3D models to just drop into your 3D software and stuff

like that, but they just, they just all seem like extremely poor quality. So your problem, so the concern that you have with this is the 3D rendering. The concept is fine to you. So that beaversome butthead, porno. To you, that's good. Depends how well it's rendered. And also the what? I'll shoot you after this. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I would say primarily my problem is with the fidelity of the visuals. You need a little more verisimilitude in your

uh... Yes. I would say... Kingdom Hearts Gang Bang. I would say that like, there wasn't a great chance of me getting superheated about the Golem and Final Fantasy pornographic conceit. But with visuals... You mean jacking your dick. Yeah, yeah. But with visuals of that quality, I'm just, I'm just not, not losing myself in it, you know, I'm not. I think the lack of fidelity kind of gives you a little artistic license to work with the features, etc. in your head. You don't want it to be like the uncanny valley of porn. I think it's already like that, isn't it?

No, I think you're yet to enter the valley. Oh okay. So you've not got out on the other side where things are good, you're still in bad territory but you're not sitting there being like wow that's such a life like Golan or is it? Something's uncanny about this. You're sort of standing at the edge of the valley edging ever closer to it. Yes. It's thi th by by by by by by by by by th th th th th thi by thi by thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, bit thi, bit thi, bit thi, bit thi, bit thi, bit thi, bit thi, thing, bit thing, bit thi, thi, thin' thin' thin' thin'ing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing, you're thing, thing, thing, thing, but thing, thing, thing, thing thiing thiing thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's thi's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi''' thi, thi, thi just think it'd be easier to throw a bucket of green paint over Andy Circus. That's what I think. Sure. Which is also your belief about the Lord of the Riggs movies. Should have just made that guy green.

They should have just let him do it, you know? They didn't have to put pipog balls on that poor man. Same for King Kong. Just get him get him the suit from trading places. The monkey suit from the end of trading places and just let him go, you know. Just do it with forced perspective. Have him way close to the camera. Everyone will think he's big. Yep. Done. When he's doing the rise of the planet of the apes movie. Let him use the King Kong suit. You know what, let's just seal him into an ape suit and let him the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.. th th th th th th th th th th Planet of the Apes movie. Let him use the King Kong suit. You know what, just, let's just seal him into an ape suit and let him do a bunch of movies. Fill the suit with crazy glue. Do not tell him that you are filling the suit with crazy glue. This is a new kind of heat management gel with filter.

And these the, the flesh staples? Well, they let the suit show up a little cleaner on the screen. We just need to staple these ping pong balls, aren't you? We'll put the ping pong balls on later. We're going to use motion capture on the suit to put the ping pong balls for motion capture on you. Then we'll use that for motion capture. Yeah. Hmm. So anyway, we'll use that for motion capture. Yeah. Hmm. Hmm. So anyway, we'll be back next week to vet whatever Lucy is looking up on porn hub that time.

Thanks. That was curious. This was not from my personal enjoyment. No, you were just gratifying your sense of curiosity. Yeah, I was just curious. That's all. Yeah, absolutely. It's a kind of gratification. It is. the search. The search. The search. The search. The search. The search. The search. The search. The search. the search. the search. the search. the search. to search. to search. to search. to search. to search. to search. to search. to search. to search. to search. to search. to search. to search. to search. to search. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. to. So. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So. to. th. the th. We. We. We. We. We. We'll. We'll. We. We'll. to. We'll. We're to. So, to. So, to. So. That's all. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's a kind of gratification. Yeah, it is.

The search for knowledge. And it's better than sexual gratification to me, actually. Knowledge. Yeah, the search for knowledge. We got us the sapio sexual up in here. That's right. Oh, dear. Look, you know, we do thirst for knowledge on this show. We like to expand our minds.

We like to send the tendrils of our brains creeping out far beyond the borders of where we live. And sometimes, Ben sends his brain tendrils creeping all the way to America to investigate the latest developments in yank naming technologies. And for this purpose he has come back to us with his latest list of entries into the Great American Hall of Name. It's the Great American Hall of Name. It's the Great developments in American naming technology, because here is a bunch of names from 1920 through to 1980. I have selected here a sample of just regular all-American first names and also last names

from the team rosters of the Kentucky Wildcats, the college football team of the University of Kentucky. Makes sense. And I will begin now when I click to my thing. Here we go. Guy Strong. Dwight Price. Lindle Castle.

Forest sale. Come on. Ursel little. You say Ursula? Ursell. Ersel. Ersel. You mean Urkel. I don't know if I do. I think that's a sibilant C.

Elmer Glib. L. Lawrence Crump. Now we're talking. Dick Richards. That's a classic. Oh Dick squared. Dick is a two-fer. Dix. Dickie Beal. Yeah. Okay. That's a real, I was piloting the B-52 that dropped the big one. I also like the juxtaposition of very serious like Warhammer 40K first name. And then Donoghue. Yeah.

Yeah. Uh, De Ward Compton. Okay. first name and then Donoghue. DeWard Compton. Okay. Yep. Van Buren Ropki. Vernon Hapin. How many of these guys were the Nazi officers that the US allowed to just come back into the society.

Yeah. I said, the first all paperto just come back into the society. Operation Paperclip. Yeah, I said, the first all paper clip, college football team. Melvin Turpin. Wilber Shoe. Marion Cloggish. Elmow head. That's a very debilitating condition. I'm sorry, your side has elbow head. You're the other way. Ooh, I was out last night, I got some of that elbow head.

Oh, come on, Henry. Come a wild on that Elmo head. At my head got me feeling a certain way. Linville Puckett. Yep. Bill Bibb. Gary Gamble. It's good, man.

Herkey Rupp. The nonsense ones are cheap, but they get the every team. Come on now. They needed a, they needed a headline about him like misbehaving so that they could do herky-jerkie. Oh, Herkey-rup acting up. Hugh Coy. Hu. Oh, I want to get to know this man? Very curious.

Jay Shidler. Shibler? Shidler. Shidler's list. It's the riddler but he's shitting. And this guy who I think is maybe one of their all-time players, Bob Talent. Come on. Dick how?

Dick how? Dick how? Like Dick mean penis back then, right? Yeah, they had that as well. No, it didn't mean penis back then. So it was funny when a guy was called Pecker. Everyone's always laughing at Pecker McGraw. Johnny Cox. Another guy here who I think is also one of their star players. William Points.

They got points. They got talent. What else could they need? Very reliable. Billy Points. Oh, another point there, the Billy Points. And last but certainly not least, Bernard Butts. Bernie to his friends. Yeah. Oh boy. Yeah, all his fans. Butheads. It's beautiful.these fans known as butt heads. It's beautiful. It's the butt man.

Here comes the butt man. Skie, but the butt star. I did, I had, I spent a little bit of time coming up with an alternative list of names from the NHL until I realized that every single name I picked was a Canadian. So I, I they got fucked up. What's the American up names oh I see because the American yeah it's not the great North American Hall of name it's just a great American Hall of name that be a betrayal of the system

that I follow yeah I should be doing that a man's got to have a creed you know man does have to have a creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed let's make fun of Americans yes for once once once once once once once once the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the creed the the the the the the the the the the the the creed is the creed is the the creed is the creed is the creed is the the creed is the creed the creed the cre of them being at the top of the pile, you know. Just for once. They'd be taken down a notch. Yeah, America. Nothing funny or silly has happened to them in years. And it's time somebody have a laugh. 20 years one month I think. That is. Oh, it is. Yeah, though. Let's just make sure that we say all the details about contacting this podcast wrong this episode just in case. Just in case. But hey, there's other reasons to contact us. Sometimes you might want to get in touch and say, hey, I am a fool and a dunce of

the highest order and I don't know how to have relationships. I don't know how to communicate and I need a very special lady doctor to help me. We just call those doctors now. Very special lady doctor. A doctoress if you will. And we have one on this very show. We call her Dr. Lucy. This comes to us by way of the relationships, relationships advise for over 35s.

Is this the new one? It's not incredible. This comes to us by way of the relationships, relationships advice for over 35s yeah so it's not incredible yeah it's not Reddit it's not our slash relationships it's our relationships over 35 which I thought would add a fun new dimension all of this a perfect new dimension if you're over 35 you should already have it sorted out sorry wow wow wow

I like that the two things that you've said about this so far are that if you can't make relationships work you're an idiot. Running contrary to like every piece of art about romance for the last. Human History is like no it's easy. I'm no artist I simply am in a relationship for the works. Just easy. Find a nice wife and you're done. Yeah, done. Just, I've said it a dozen times on this show, the easiest way to sort out your relationship problems is to meet your soulmate. Done.

So, all right, relationship advice for people who are old like me. Is my boyfriend hiding a secret relationship with his best friend? It sounds like you know about the relationship. They're friends. Doesn't sound, yeah, it's right there. Okay, it's a kind of relationship. It's legal. Hi everyone. I want to preface this by saying I have nothing against bisexuality. I'm saying that all the time. I'm always saying this. It's fine if you want to do it I guess. I go into the place to pick up my pizza and I announce to the room. Hey. I got nothing against those bisexual folks I say. This post does not imply that I do not support bisexual folks. This post is about me trying to understand if my boyfriend is hiding a secret from me regarding his sexuality.

Here goes. I have been dating a 36 year old man for three months now. A few weeks into our relationship, hold on do we know how old she is? Doesn't say. Doesn't say. Okay. A few weeks into our relationship, my boyfriend started making comments and sharing info that made me question his sexuality and his relationship with his male best friend who lives an hour and a half away by car and who he seems on a regular basis every couple of weeks or so. I would love your opinion about whether this does seem to

indicate a romantic interest in his best friend slash something going on under the surface. God, I hope so. I hope so too. I'm going to need all the bisexuals on the show to weigh in on this one. Yep. It's everyone, right? I'm ready. That's all of us. You know. Number one. They have sleepovers at each other's houses every couple of weeks for two to three days at a time. There is no one present except the two of them. That's got to mean some dicks are getting sucked, right? Oh, are they gamers? They're gamers.

This is classic. Sorry. I would like to clarify. I was absolutely joking by saying. Very funny the idea that that like guys can't spend two days. This is a game. This. This. This is, the the the the the the the their. This is, their. This is, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th is, their, th is, th is like, th is like, th is like, thi is, thi is, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two. There, two, two. There, two. There, two. There, two. There, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, thi. This is, thi. This is, thi. This is, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi is thi is thi is thi's theeeeeeeat, the-toooooooooooo. their the. the like to clarify. I was absolutely joking by saying that's very funny the idea that like guys can't spend two days together without it secretly being gay. No one is present. Anything could be having. And you didn't suck each other's dicks once? It's a little touch. Number two, my boyfriend says things like, we shared a beer. All right. Yeah. It's not very COVID safe, but it's fine. And I pay for him all the time and don't really keep track

of whether he's paying for me. Again, this sounds suspiciously like a friendship. Yeah. It's been like, oh, I've got this one. It works, generally. Three, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they that that that, you get the next one. Yeah. It's how it works, generally. Three, they text each other every day. And from what I've seen, sometimes the texts are detailed descriptions of what they are doing that day.

Yeah, that's fucked up. That's what I do with my best friend. We're like, what do you have for breakfast? Oh, nice. Sounds good. That's normal. Cool, you say. Yeah. Number four. Oh my God, I think I'm gonna puke. They chat on the phone regularly. Yeah, that is weird. Why are you as a man talking on the phone? Talking to a friend. Fell is it gay to talk on the phone? Alexander Graham Bell, gay as hell, as far as I'm concerned. I love talking on the phone and my friend. I feel like every time me and my buddy, the

other Andrew talk to each other on the phone, it's supposed to be about something quick and then we talk for an hour about whatever. No you hang up. We say. Laying on your bed. Yeah. Killing out again, you're gonna kick my legs back and forth. Yeah. What you're doing? What are you thinking about? Can we just pause here? Ben and I are in the same, same room. Ben, you want to flip one of those cans off your ear? Can you hear that? Can I hear what? What's that?

Little peeping sound? Peep? Is it gnome snoring? It is 100% gnome snoring in the room. Where is she? Where's the tome? She's inside the bookshelf. Number five, my boyfriend said that they usually... Oh, sorry. Number five, my boyfriend said that they always hang out alone and that they don't include their partners and their plans usually.

Yeah. Okay. Again, this still sounds like a friendship. We've got a gnome here, but... Fine, thank God. Otherwise, theo has to have his wife just sit in the room awkwardly. Sweetie, you know you can't leave the room. Number six. All right, so the following three entries are all a very funny Construction of a sentence they go to the movies alone

Yeah, it sounds like each of them is going to go together. Yeah, it sounds like both them are going to the movies with a friend. It's yeah, it sounds like both them are going to the movies with a friend. That's, okay, what's the next one? Seven. They go to concerts alone going with a friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the their. their. their. their. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their. their their their th. th. th. th. th. the the thy thu thu thy thu thu thu thy thu thu tho tho tho tho the tho the the them are going to the movies with a friend. That's... Okay, what's the next one? Seven, they go to concerts alone. Going with a friend. Yeah. I would actually think it was... Like, which one would you think was weirder Lucy? Your boyfriend going to the movies with his friend, or constantly going to the movies by himself? Oh, I do that all the time. Is that weird? I don't like to go to the movies with anyone. That's normal. That's normal. I think it's weird. I think that's freak mode stuff. They've got to be sucking each other off. Why would you go to the movies with another person? That is a solitary activity. Maybe, maybe Akira is kind of remastered and it's four-k. And you. th. th. th. th. th. th see a Kira. Yeah, you got tickets, like, tickets are just gonna expire if you don't, and so. We don't have to suck each other off while you're watching Kira. It's not necessary. They're both at the counter. I will also buy a box of popcorn. Number eight, they go on camping trips alone.

Still with each other. They're doing some broke back mountain shit. I've seen that movie. I haven't seen it. They are planning a trip, number nine, they're planning a trip across the country alone to his best friend where his best friend is going to show him where he grew up. He mentioned this trip to me and very unenthusiastically asked if I wanted to come, and that he was telling me about the trip because he felt he had to since we are dating, but quickly

followed that up by saying his been going on for three months. Yeah. Yeah. And it kind of sounds like they may not even like really be vibran that much as well. I'm getting that. Yeah. So... It was probably unenthusiastic because it's like, who knows if we'll be together by then? You keep asking me if a third person is like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to thi, thi, to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, thi, thi, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, together by then. You keep asking me if a third person is like hanging out with us where we go to the movies for some reason they don't understand why.

Two is just such an awkward number. Oh, number ten is just nice. Nice round number. So, like, again, we still just seem to be talking about activities that friends do together. And I would also say that like, for some guys I feel like this is a, you can't win situation, if this guy was like, I have cut off all of my friends, I never go and hang out with anybody else I just want to be with you. I'm assuming this person would be like this guy's weird because he doesn't have any friends. Yeah you're right men can't win. That's so true. That is so true. It doesn't have any friends, like wants to come along with me, everything that I'm doing all that's supposed no he's got a he's got a pal and he's going out to do something.... to do th to do th th to do th th th th th th th to do th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho. Doesn't do tho. Doesn't do tho. Doesn't do tho. Doesn't tho. I tho. I th. I th. I th. I th. I this this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I me, everything that I'm doing, all that sort of something. No, he's got a pal and he's going out to do something.

And they're doing non-toxic stuff. What's the next one, Andrew? Say it out loud. Ten, brace yourselves, folks. They carved pumpkins together last fall? It's nice. Can I just the punctuation on that one. Okay, so the punctuation at the end of that bullet point is, question mark, exclamation mark, question mark, which I believe renders the sentence thusly.

They carved pumpkins together last fall? Yep. You pretty much, uh, as a man carving pumpkins together. That, uh, that, that punctuation is what they put at the end of Tim Taylor's grunts on home improvement. Yeah. 11. I once asked how long he'd known his best friend and he responded by saying, I've been with Bob for and then quickly corrected himself and said, I've been friends with him since high school, but we weren't in touch the entire time.

12. Once when we were coming up with nicknames for each other. Psycho? Three months. Three months. Hey, should we have nicknames for each other? Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? Let's brainstorm.

Let's brainstorm. I have been with my wife for a tho tho much time we've spent brainstorming nicknames for each other. Well it shows because your nicknames are shit. That's true. Donkey face and turdmaster. That's... You know what? We should have spent more time on it. We should have spent more time on it.

Friend of the show, my wife, Turd Master. 12. Once, once when we were we ween we ween we ween we ween we wee we we've we we've we we've we've we've we've we've we've we've we've we've we've we've we've we've we've should have spent more time on it. Friend of the show, my wife, Turdmaster. Twelve, once when we were coming up with nicknames for each other, we settled on Bear and Bun Bun Bun. And out of nowhere he said, Bob's a Bun Bun too. It's funny, he's having a laugh with it. Yeah, I'm more, just the nickname thing and it entirely is just very upsetting. I don't know what these people are doing. You're fucking 36 man. You're 36 calling your girlfriend Bun Bun. Hopefully. Otherwise you're calling a bear. That's kind of cute actually. No, I don't mind that. 13. Once when describing his relationship with Bob where Bob likes to do the planning, he said,

the way you're my baby girl, I'm his baby girl in a playful, joking way. Yep. Yep. 14, when asked about why he never got to the level of asking any of his exes to marry him, he said, I don't know if I can get there with a woman. No idea what this means or if there's another way to interpret it than the obvious. Yeah, really sounds like she's uh, she's going past like, suspecting that he's bisexual and all the way to like, suspecting that he's gay, in which case, why are you dating him? If you're so convinced that this guy wants to, wants to, uh, suck and fuck in a manly way, then what do you think that you're doing in the relationship?

Yeah. What's like, what's, yeah, what, hmm? Huh? Oh? Oh? Oh, this just gets better, doesn't it? It does. 15. The first time he went over for a two-day sleepover at Bob's, shortly after we'd begun dating, he took hours and hours to text me back and thought that was acceptable until I

bought it up. Yeah, I mean, like, you can't always be on your phone. Sometimes you've got to be present in the moment. I'm hanging out with Bob. So that's just, that's just, that's just, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, 15, 15, 15, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. 15, thi. 15, thiiiiiiiiiiiii. thiiiiii. thi. It's, thi. thi. thi. thi. to be present in the moment. I'm hanging out with Bob. So that's just, you're having a communication issue. That's not, I don't think that means he's sucking Bob off. Also a two day sleepover, that's a one night sleepover. You know, you're phrasing it in a very dramatic way. A two day, a sleepover is by a necessary, like, by definition, it's two days of interaction. We did a one day dayover, what, they had a nap in the middle of the afternoon? I'm excited, my friend's gonna come for a sleep over this weekend. He's gonna suck him off? He's gonna leave.

She is. She is. She is. She's bringing his girlfriend. We're all going to suck each other off. Uh, finally, 16, when I asked him, point blank, if there was something going on with him, and Bob, he said, you have no evidence. There's got rules.

Which was a startling response. He turned around and he pointed at me like Phoenix right and he yelled objection. When I asked my boyfriend of three months are you having an affair with your male best friend? He responded badly. When I asked him and he was just like prove it. What are you got? I know my rights. That rule need a warrant. There's a path we can go down, but... Kick so much ass. This guy rocks. He said, you have no evidence, which was a startling response.

When asked if he was bisexual, he said, is there something about me that looks that way? But still denies anything is going on with Bob. Do I look like I wear wear trucker hats? That's right. Am I reading a book from the 70s about astral travel? Am I sitting weirdly on my chair? Am I can drive a car, so no. Am I reorganizing my six different copies of Beastmaster right now.

He admits they have an intense friendship, but denies that there is anything more than that most recently saying, quite, it's not like we're in love or anything, in reference to Bob. Although as far as I'm concerned, he might have been talking about her. That actually makes me a little bit sad. It sounds like he's letting toxic maxilinity not really say how he feels about Bob. Yeah, like you clearly love him. You love Bob.

You can say it out. Lovelin' friendship. God damn. Sleepovers, camping trips? Come on now. It is. It is so goddame legal to love your bros. It is. It is legal. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's that you. It's th. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. It's like like a the th. I the the the the the th. the the the the th. the the the the the the the love. the Kind of love your bros. So she rounds it out by saying can I please have your thoughts on the matter does

it sound like a regular bromance between two middle-aged men? I don't know how like is 36 middle-aged? Sounds like something that's a middle-aged? Yeah. I think 40 is middle-aged. I think that's fine. thirty-six is not middle-aged. thirty-like. th. th. th-like. th-like. th-like. th-like. th-like. th-I th-I-I-I-I-I would-I would-I would-I would-so-I would-like. I would-I would-I would-like. I would-like. I would-I would-like. I would th-I would-I would thoomom. I would th. I would th-like. I would-like. I would would th-I would th-I would th. I would th-I would th. I would th. I would th-I would th. I would th-I would th. I would th-so. I would th-so. I would th-so. I th-so. I th-so. I th-a-a-a-a-s. I th-s. I th-s. I th-s. I th-s. I thirty-s. thirty-s like-sou-sou-s like like-s like-sou-s like like like thin. thirty-saugh. thirty-s. I thirty-s. I thirty-s. I thirtythat's fine. All right. But, uh, no, 36 is not middle age. Like, you know, life expectancies are going up. For now. That's true. Yeah. Planning to die at 70? You know? So what do you think, Lucy? Does this sound like a regular bromance between two middle-aged men? Or does it sound like something more?

Why are we still saying bromance? I don't know. I can have friends. Like, most of this is like, I would ask this woman, do you do any of, and all of these things with your female friends? Like going in the movies together or sleeping at each other's houses. Sharing a beer sometimes. Normal friendship behavior?

Dump her. Yeah, dump her, sweetie. I like just personally I would be extremely concerned if I had started a relationship with somebody. Because like to me three months is still like... That's nothing. That's like three dates, four dates, you get a bloody, you go to a couple of concerts, you get like... You've been to the Hogs Breath. Yeah. You've gone to see one of the Marvel movies that neither of you have seen any of the ones

before it. Yeah, you go back to the Hogs Brea. Like for... Oh, you like that last time. Maybe pancake parlour. Oh, he's a big spender. You weren't had gelato but had to call the night early because one of your cats got sick. Just classic early relationship stuff. Yeah like three months I think for most normal people you wouldn't have moved in

together by that point. So you're saying that gay people aren't normal? No I'm saying I'm not normal. Bisexualsexuals they move in straight away. I've seen a tweet about that one. Yeah lesbians are always doing that one. Hey we bought a cat and we just moved in together. It's classic lesbian stuff as far as I understand it. Me, me and my wife met each other immediately moved in together. I think that is thia that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. that's thi. that's that's thi. thi. thi. thi. the theeeee an thee an theeeeeeeeeeee. theeeeeeeeeeeeee-I thi. B. that's that's thogether. I think we were living together within the month I want to say. That is absolutely bananas. Yeah. Bonkers. No, our relationship is psycho and everybody thought we were crazy. We had our second date and we both said, I love you? I'm in love with you. And we both went, yes, that's correct. We're going to die together. Well, isn't that just perfect? Isn't everything wrapped up in a neat little package?

Maybe Zolmets do exist. Yeah, which is cool. But everybody was still like, okay, take your time. Correctly, they gave you that advice. Yeah, they were correct to do so. Yes, that. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We that. We that. We that. We that. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were, that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're, take your time. Correctly, they gave you that advice. Yeah, they were correct to do so. All of our friends were just like, you sound insane right now. I don't know what you're doing. You have the craziest look in your eyes and your hands are shaking. Yep. And they were still are today, you know.

I still look like a wild-eyed scientist bursting in on a government meeting claiming that a natural disaster is about to take place after all these years. Still Jeff Goldblum and Independence Day in your way through life out of romance with your wife. That's right but that's what I mean when I say like that is that is not as far as I am aware the standard progression of relationships for a lot of people. I think to a lot of people three months is still like we're dating, we're hanging out, we're still having like the honeymoon period. I don't know your middle name yet. All of these

things you know I haven't met all your friends, you know, you probably haven't met somebody's parents three months into it. Three months in, I have no intention of meeting the parents. I'm like, I'm not going to put myself through that if there's still a chance that this could go skew if, you know? So to me, if I was like this much effort into monitoring every activity that I did like like that that shit about you didn't text me back fast enough the night after sleeping somewhere else when we had just started dating that's a very unappealing behavior yeah I think that's that time that Bob came over and then I saw you out in the driveway putting a transponder underneath Bob's car. I was like, I just don't know about this.

Yeah, a little while after we started dating, I went to stay with my friend who lives, you know, a city or two over, as is our practice every month or so. And then I got into a big fight with my new girlfriend the next day because I did not return her text until 11 a.m. or something. Like it's not only very unappealing behavior but I also think like Bodes very poorly for how this person is going to communicate with you, the level of trust that this person has in what you're doing with yourself and your time. And then there's just like going to the movies with your friend is gay?

That's yeah. Yeah. That's not good. Just three months in being like, hey, are you having sex with your best friend? Hey, my question? No? That text was probably like, are you sucking Bob off right now? No doubt. Are you sucking him, 1059? Are you sucking him?

11. Are you sucking Bob? 1102. Answer me, answer my messages, 11.05. Are you still sucking Bob? How long does this guy take? God damn. Just to clarify here she is 36 as well they're both 36. Okay. Is that better or worse than if she was like 25? Oh no. Better. Nothing. Oh man.

So let me explain. I don't mean like from an age gap perspective I mean in terms of like like an emotional maturity kind of deal I mean in terms of like like an emotional maturity kind of deal. And this kind of behavior at this stage of a relationship because in one, like, I kind of feel like the thing that's more common for like straight women at that age is I'm just not looking to like fuck around a lot in relationships. Like I know women of this kind of age where if they're dating someone who is saying things like I'm probably never going to get married. Or like I don't know if I don't want kids and stuff. That's a red flag for the 36 year old woman.

Like I think very understandably some people are at a point in their life where they're like, okay now when I'm dating, I kind of want to know if this person is interested in long-term things, you know all that sort of stuff. But none of that is what her problem is. Her problem is you have a friend and you like him too much. Yeah, her only issue about like, um, thirty-augh. that can you be like less of a good friend for our relationship? Yeah, her only issue about like about whether or not they would ever get married was that he like misspoke at the start of his answer.

She was like, wait, would you marry your friend? Can I marry your best bro? I'm having a look at the post that this woman has done. She has posted the exact same question in like eight different subreddits. Oh, she's serious. That's super normal behavior. Okay. Some of her other posts in here are like, I'm currently going through a middle life crisis and trying to get real answers

on whether people feel it has been worth it to have kids. It's very strange. But the one that really got me here was, would it bother you if the guy you were dating is a mostly shot in gamer? That's what he's doing on weekends with Bob. They're gaming. That's why he doesn't text you back. He's playing League Legends. This is... But also what do you want? He's staying home and playing games and you don't like it? He's going out and doing social activities with his friend and you don't like it. Men can't win, Ben, just like you said. I'm curious if women above the age of 30s would feel resentful about their partner's lifestyle. Let's say he's in his mid-30s or older. then, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thol-like, thol-like, th, th, thi-like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi-and, thi-and, thi-a, thi-a'-a'-a'-wooooooomomomorough, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's thi's thi, thi, thi, partner's lifestyle. Let's say he's in his mid-30s or older. Oh yeah, okay, around that. 35, 36.

Whatever. If his main hobby was playing video games, followed by Magic The Gathering and watching football, had one real-life friend and didn't desire doing things like going for a walk, or just getting out the house. This guy just sounds like a big harmless nerd. He goes camping. That's the good kind of nerd. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm canceling this woman. This woman? You're canceled. Random Reddit user who I will not name, because some of the other stuff in there seem like some red flags for having some other stuff going on her life. You are canceled.

So you can't tell her to tell him to dump her, but by the committative property of dumping and being dumped, you can say for this one, dump him and have the same effect. That's right, yes. Break up is what we're saying. How are the responses? Are people telling her that she's a crazy person? No, everyone's agreeing with her. That he's gay? Uh that it's s-uh. It's suss. Like, the, th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th, the the th. the th. th, their. their their th. their their their their th. their th- their thum, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thu. thum, thuu. thu. thuuu- thu- thumumumumumu- thumum- thumum- thumumum- thumum- thumumumumum- thucoo- thu? Are people telling her that she's a crazy person? No, everyone's agreeing with her. He's gay. Ah, that it's suss. Like, man having sleepovers is suss. Like, if I, if my best mate lived somewhere an hour and a half way, let's say

Caloundra, maybe. Yeah. Briby even, something like that. I wouldn't go hang out with him every couple weeks. I'm getting drunk. Yeah. Yeah. She just didn't wish out. She usually takes an hour and a half drive to get to.

It's traffic. The traffic was. And you don't want to take the tunnel. No, oh my god, I don't have one those e-tags. I'm not doing. I'm thah. I'm thago. I'm thago. I'm thago. I'm thago. I'm thia. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I don't have on thi. thi. thi. that that that thi. thi. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to the. the. the. th, you know, like, I'm going over there and I'm hanging out. I'm crashing. Yeah, I'm having some beers. I'm assuming it's not like, they're not sleeping on a bunk bed or sleeping in a big bed together with key all outfits on. Yeah, it's the top of a telling. I'm going to drive an hour and a half there hang out for two hours and drive an hour and a half.

That's three hours of driving in one day. That's right. That's too much. That's too much. Sorry, did you say, I kind of like tune. I was somewhere else from the throw. I think, I mean it kind of sounds to me like, like all of these responses from this woman are generally that she doesn't kind of like this dude's vibe and behavior and all that sort of stuff.

Even though... He might be gay. He's a huge gamer. I don't like his friend. Well I guess, I guess like if you're sort of saying, yeah, he spends a lot of time with his friend and I don't like the vibe or whatever, so I'm going to project gayness onto it. And also, he's a gamer and he mainly just hangs out and does these things. This all kind of feels to me like, I guess just putting all those sort of feelers out there and just hoping that a bunch of people tell you Yeah, you're right to not particularly like all of this stuff That like this this feels to me like somebody who is In the in the space of their life where they're probably getting close to settling and Try to figure out are these things are these things enough of me not liking them to be like I shouldn't live with this yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah th th th th th th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thr- thr- thr- thr- thr- thr- thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi of me not liking them to be like I shouldn't. Yeah, I shouldn't really settle for this.

Because if everybody came back to you and was like, no, it's extremely normal for dudes to have a beard and play magic to gathering with their friends and play video games like in their 30s, which, for better or worse, it sure is these days. Interesting. I'm just saying whether like whether or not whether or not you personally think that like playing magic the gathering or playing a lot of video games are good or worthwhile pursuits, it is a thing that is more popular than it has ever been for many in their 30s. I think that's an undisputable fact. Yeah. Yeah. I'm saying it without judgment. But yeah, like, I don't know, it just sounds like she's sort of found herself in this relationship and is sort of saying, oh, people are going to tell me that no, this is just the deal? This is just how relationships are? Because

it sounds to me like she's not that into the whole vibe and would like to be told. Yeah, you're okay to kind of jettison this in this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I I I I I I I I I I I I thininininin. I th. I th. I thin. I thin. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. It's just s. It's just s. It's just s. It's just s. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. I th. I th. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that into the whole vibe and would like to be told. Yeah, you're okay to kind of... You can just leave? Yeah, I'm gay. That's why. Yeah, we found it. You are the gay. Like, what would happen if he did say, yeah, I'm by but like Bob's is just my friend? Yeah, I'm by but Bob looks like shit. I wouldn't like that guy. Bob smells real weird. I love him, but Jesus Christ, I'm never touching that guy's dick. I'm by Bob straight as an arrow. You know? What's she gonna do with that information?

Yeah. Fuck Bob. Mmm. Mm. Okay. Trying to think what problem that solves. Two boyfriends, two boyfriends, you could be living the dream. What if Bob's like super athletic and not a gamer and then you know she's getting like the best of both worlds.

Although I don't know what she likes about this man at no point in his ship is like. And here's why I want to say with him. Our relationship is perfect. Yeah. Well like, I hate my homo gamer boy friend. Well, like, please convince me to stay with him. What I would like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, that, the the tho, tho, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. the. tho. to, to, to to tho. thooooooo. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. please convince me to stay with him. What I would like to know is what kind of relationship does she want? You know like I don't know if she's saying in the post-mac gaming or whatever like I'm not particularly thrilled by having a 36-year-old boyfriend who just sits on the computer all night because that's not an unreasonable thing to say if you're not into that or you would like to have a more involved relationship on a day-to-day basis or whatever. You can have your wants and your needs and your preferences and such. But express them. Express them. Or do something about it. Don't fucking ask a bunch of strangers

on Reddit or say a podcast that finds your post on Reddit and then turns it into... Don't ask us. Why did you come to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask a to ask a to ask a to ask a to ask a the to ask a the the the to the to th to to their tho-a their their their tho-a their relationship their relationship their relationship their relationship their relationship their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. tho. thooooo. thoooooooooooo. to. to. to. thooo. thooo. tho. their then turns it into jokes. Yeah, don't ask us. Why did you come to us, lady? We're not going to help you. Just like the real expert on relationships between men and women, James Brown said, express yourself. Yeah. Don't look into that one. Don't look into that one. Couldn't have that many kids if you don't get along with women?

No, that's... T- POTS Podcasts. They're nature's greatest natural resource and it's important that they're harvested, sustainably. Editing, production, fart sound effects. These are all important resources from our local

ecosystems. That's why we're asking you to go to Patreon.com slash Buntavista and pledge five US dollars a month to help support the healthy growth of a homegrown podcast like Wntavista. In exchange you'll get an extra sustainably farmed episode, to our discord, and a naturally pristine, promo-free podcast feed. Thank you for helping look after one of nature's most precious resources. So it sounds like Theo is shipping Bob and the girlfriend from this story. Hey, how does he do it? You know, you know, there's a whole other kind of shipping and we like to talk about it here in the shipping report.

I'm itching for another edition of the shipping report. Yes, this is of course our zero jokes, entirely factual, highly informative segment about what is happening in the world of international shipping shipping zero deaths. We're promising you a zero jokes, zero fatality segment. That's a real beige experience. That's a promise. I had to ignore so many of the ones I saw this week because of the deaths. It was grim, real grim.

But anyway, here were the remaining ones. The container ship, Thelassopatras was forced to change its course during a voyage from Singapore to Suez after one or more containers containing quote hazmat material or liquid started to leak. Hmm. I feel like if it's leaking you can definitely kind of. It's probably a liquid. Could be a gas.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yep. Could be sand, you know, like a... Hazardous sand. Well, if you eat too much or something. Look, I'm not afraid to say it. If you eat too much sand, it can be bad for you. We're not offering medical advice. Please don't find us therapeutic goods administration. We're not offering medical advice, eat as much sand as you feel comfortable with. Now we're offering dietary advice, I don't know if they have a governing body. Lucy, Lucy, what's a good amount of sand to eat, do you think? I feel like you could have a little bit of sand surely. Like quarter of a cup? Yeah, I reckon more like at once. Like we've all eaten a bit of sand at some point surely.

Not intentionally. What do we think? Tablespoon of sand? You could, I reasonably eat a tablespoon of sand. I don't think a cup of sand. I don't think a cup of sand. Like, once it's in there, it's like wet sand, so it's not going to gum you up. Is it going to cut you up? you up, is you up, is you up, is you up, the glass their their their th you th you th you up, is to cut you up, is to cut you up, to cut you up, to cut you up, is, th, th, tha, tha, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, glass bits in sand? What's sand? They are tiny bits of glass.

Very small. Well, maybe it'd be like the hot new, the hot new cleanse, you know? Maybe you're exfoliating everything all the way down. Yeah, it's like one of those coffee scrubs, but inside your body, clean it all out, scrape out those intestines. We're starting with a 60. You're having th. You th. You th. You th. You're having th. You're having th. You're those intestines. We're cleaning as a whistle- starting with a 60, you're having a 180, then you go to a 240, go to a 1,200, round it up, so you got like a very fine polish on your guts.

Starting with gravel, working up, working your way down. It's just start with one rock and then get fighter and fighter. The Dutch General Cargo Ship Smiragd breached her hull after strong winds pushed her into a wall in Wilhelms Haven, Germany. That's one of the classic hazards out there for ships. If it's not the water, it's the wind, that's what I always say. They're both get wind, water and walls. Three Ws of maritime hazard.

A possible stern thrust of failure caused a collision in Palermo Sicily of the roll-on, roll-off passenger ferries, Raphael Rubitino and Antonello de Messina. Mama Mia. Just imagine the shouting. Witnesses claimed the victims shouted each other and shook their fists for three hours. A lot of people asking each other, hey what are you doing? Hey, I'm roll off, roll on ferrying here. Medical crews were brought in to deal with the repetitive gesture injuries. RSI is sustained by every single person aboard.

The general cargo ship EEMS Cobalt, or possibly Eames Cobalt, I don't know, suffered engine failure in downtown Roderdam while proceeding upstream towards door-direct. You need your engine if you're going to go upstream. Yeah, you want engine success. Yeah, I feel like if you've got general cargo ship suffering engine failure in your downtown region, you live in a joke city. It's a bit a big failure of planning there. Yeah, keep those guys out to see. That's my recommendation. It's a bit of big failure of planning there.

Now, keep those guys out to see. That's my recommendation. You know how long it takes for those lights to change? Yeah, another 400 meters of boat left to go, sorry. Lastly, the bulk carrier Trudy, that's just a lady's name, which was being held by authorities at the port in Dunkirk France, after all 20 of its crew were arrested last week when it was intercepted in the English Channel and found to be carrying 1.1 tons of cocaine, was bordered by quote, several men armed with wooden clubs who held the replacement crew hostage for four to five hours while searching the vessel.

I feel like you don't get thog like that anymore. No. Wooden club thugs. Wooden club thugs. Hey, give us all of your cocaine. We'll be eating you real hard. The hijack has left the ship without taking anything. Have this time not been out to be out of authority. Oh, for what crime? Paying a club? Is that a crime? trespass a the the the thress tresp thress tresp thress thress thress thress thress tha tha thus thus thus thus thus. I thus. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. thi. thu. Oh. Oh. thoom-a-a-a-a. tho-a. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th a crime? Trespassing and hostage taking.

A ton of cocaine. This is fucking wild, right? So the ship was intercepted. They found 1.1 tons of cocaine. Then they took the ship back into port. They arrested all of the crew. They took all the cocaine. And then they put a replacement crew on the ship to look after the ship and then a bunch of guys came and then.

Like hey, where's our cocaine? Yeah. They reckon the the theories are either that they were looking for more cocaine or that they were trying to get revenge, which is pretty cool. Yeah. Well, they can't carry all that cocaine. Shall I mean, if you've got... Well, I have to put their clubs down. Several men would have to put it down. What are you going to do?

He hasn't got a club. He doesn't have the club. That's just a guy armed with 300 kilos of cocaine. Well see that could go on all day right they brandished the club and they make you get the cocaine. So they have to put down the club they pick up the cocaine and there's your chance right? You pick up the club put down my cocaine. That's uniquely ill-suited for the confines of like the the twists and turns of a boat. You just like, just like, oh shit.

What are we talking about too, like is it a baseball bat? What's a wooden club? No, I imagine like a crude sort of ill-shaped piece of wood potentially with some like bent nails in it? Yeah, okay. I'm thinking specifically of the kind of thing that like the bartender would have behind like the bar in America. So we've been talking about getting one of those by which I mean I keep suggesting and everyone keeps saying no. But I we're currently on, I would like a baseball bat that's mounted on like a plaque that says like the persuader or something.

Whereas the prevailing opinion among everyone else is that it should be an axe handle because that's just a badass weapon to have. That's true. Yeah. I think it's a solid wooden club from World of Warcraft delivering one to two damage at a speed of 2.6 for a total of 0.6 DPS. And your wife's fine with you knowing this kind of thing. See you found someone who was right for you.

And Ben is or is not sleeping over tonight? I mean I am on the fold out couch right now. There's a pile of bedding right next to me. And Caitlin and I actually didn't sleep in the same bed last night. For those for normal reasons. Yeah, for baby reasons. For babies. For bids.

When, that was definitely the point in our relationship where sleeping on other beds was fine. Because like for ages, me and older, we were like never apart, and on the very rare occasion that we were, I was like, oh, I'm in a bed all by myself, this is weird. But then you have kids and like sometimes one of them is sick and they want to be in your bed or there's something going on, you've got to go to work the next day. And your wife will be like, there their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. I's thi. thi. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I I th. I I th. I th. I I th. I I th. th. th. th. th. I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm t. I'm t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. th. th. th. th. th. th. to work the next day and your wife will be like maybe you should sleep on the couch and you're like there's a there's a puff of like smoke in the shape of your body still in the bed. And then the covers slowly like. Obie one canobi's cloak. Yeah, the smoke trail is just spelled out see the way out.

That's right. So, you know, sometimes you're working on your ship, you're packing away all your cocaine, there's a sound of the door, and what do you see with the silhouettes of three large French thugs holding clubs? It does change it when they're French. Like, they're not as intimidating. Oh, are you here to kill me? We? Skinny guy with a mustache, a striped shirt. I would like the cocaine. Where is it?

Wooden clubs are live. He's loaded onto my unicycle before I get angry. They were boarded with by several men holding a stale baget. And a cordon. Brandishing a three-week-old baggette at somebody. Getting smacked with a really stale baget though. You know? I wouldn't be good.

Break a fluorescent tube over something, they're going to be exactly the same. Yeah. I guess what I'm saying is that when they front up and it looks like you know it's really scary that you see them silhouetted against the mist but it's actually cigarette smoke because they're French. And that's that's scary, that's a bad vibe. It's very ominous. That brings us to this week's edition of Omen's and Portense. You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon. And you shall know that God is God. Bow down to his will. Sometimes I worry that hearing that song so often of that snippet is going to ruin that song for me.

It never does. I love that song. This is from the CBC News, which I believe sounds for Kastrilian Broadcaster Company. Woman rocked awake by meteorite chunk, crashing into her bedroom. Fair enough. Yep, that'll like you up. Ruth Hamilton had been asleep for hours in her Golden BC home when she awoke to the sound of her dog barking, giving her a moment's notice before a rock from outer space hurled into her bedroom.

I didn't really pause this the first time around. This dog is psychic? It's certainly on some sort of other stream of knowledge. Dogs strodomas. Dogs notice. I don't believes. Ostrodomus? Dogs know there's a... I don't believes. Ostrodogmas? That... Wow, this has completely changed the story for me now.

Yeah, a psychic hero dog. What? Pre-cog dog. Pre-dog. No. No. I'll workshop that one later. Uh...

That's fucking wild. Um, quote, the next thing was just a huge explosion in debris all over my face. Yeah, I've been there. Uh, Hamilton recalled an interview Tuesday. I jumped out of bed and turned on the lights. I didn't know what else to do, so I called 911. Ah, uh. They can't help themselves. I found a rhino head. I found, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. I th. They can't help themselves. I found a rhino head, I found a tubstone,

a meteorite crushed through my house, time to call the cops. The cops showed up and air-hulled that meteorite. It was an officer involved, a meteorite death. I talked to the operator, she was asking me all kinds of questions and at that point, I rolled back one of the two pillows I'd been sleeping on and in between them was the meteorite. Oh, there it is. Don't have to brag. Well, all two pillows, I mean.

I don't know, okay. Charcoal gray chunk of rock, roughly the size of a melon had plummeted from space. It's a very dramatic phrasing. True. We haven't raised more questions if they hadn't. Tearing through Hamilton's roof before coming to rest on her floral pillowcase, inches from where her head had been moments earlier. I was shaking like a leaf, said Hamilton. You sound asleep, safe, you think, in your bed and you can get taken out by a meteorite, apparently. God, that's think, in your bed, and you can get taken out by a meteorite, apparently.

God, that's the dream, isn't it? You don't even know about it. I reach the, yeah, you've seen everything that you think you need to see. One day you just lie your head down on your floral pillow case at a meteorite, you know, finishes its destination from the out of reaches, just completely obliterating your skull into just splinters of, well this is melon sized. Oh yeah. That's big.

What's not a melon we're talking? Water, rock? I feel like you can start at rock and work your way up. I'm going to say rock melon. That's what I picture when I hear just melon sized, I think. Initially, Hamilton didn't know it was a meteorite. She and an RCMP officer dispatched to investigate suspected it was debris from a construction site on nearby Highway 1, which ones through the town, that's not sending their best. To the meteorite call. Oh yeah I mean could be could be a meteorite and sort of some sort of alien piece of

metal and silica could be some like nails and what have you. Who could say? How could we test? Obliterating your roof. For reasons which I won't be clear right now but might be depending on how what's on I put at the end of this episode I just want to specify that Highway 1 is the Trans Canada Highway. So I just I just wanted this to be recording to justify something I want to do later. Don't worry about it. All right.

Quote he called up there and they said they had not done any blasting that night, but the workers workers had had had had had had had the the the the the workers had the workers had the workers had the workers had the workers had the workers had the workers had the workers had to the workers had to to to to to to be to be they said they had not done any blasting that night, but the workers had seen a meteorite or a falling star explode. So I don't know if she was saying that to explain that that's what a falling star is. Yeah. Or whether she's presenting two different objects. A meteorite or a falling star explode and then there was a couple of booms. Then we knew that it was a meteorite that had crashed through my roof Hamilton said Hamilton. that he crashed through my roof, Hamilton said. Hamilton reported the fine to a team of experts at Western University in London, Ontario. We have to get this to the eggheads in London. Ontario. To the puffins. Far away in London. One stayed over. I don't know if that's true. I don't know anything

about Canada. It's certainly a meteorite, said Peter Brown, a professor with the university's physics and astronomy department. Everything about the story was consistent with a meteorite fall and the fact this bright fireball had occurred basically right at the same time made it a pretty overwhelming curse. That's fair. Hamilton plans to send the meteorite to Brown and his team. Brown said they hoped to identify the type of meteorite within the next month but he suspects that it fell from the solar system's main asteroid belt. That is conceptually extremely dope for something to come all the way from the fucking

asteroid belt. It's just to kill you. Just to kill you specifically. If it wasn't for your incredible hero dog. Imagine imagine, imagine simultaneously like gaining a belief of God but also that he's trying to make sure that he's try and hates you, yeah. There is definitely a divine creator and he thinks I'm the fucking worst. She got final destination. The death that's coming. She should just not be driving behind any trucks carrying anything for a little while now or like avoid staircases, any sort of machinery. I enjoy that the lasting cultural

impact that that series had is like deep and nervous suspicion of like like wall calling trucks. Yeah and completely valid too because I wouldn't want one of those bouncing through my windshield turned me into you know theo-paced and completely destroying the resale value of my schoda. Which so far it's retained beautifully. That's wonderful, isn't it? Hamilton said she didn't tell anybody about what had happened for a few days while she absorbed the experience.

That's very mature of her. Yeah. Sure, we can work out what this means on a philosophical, a fundamental,, the, they, they, they, they, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, completely, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, to, completely, completely, th, completely, th, completely, completely, completely, completely, completely, th, completely, completely, completely, completely, completely, completely, to, completely, completely, completely, to, completely, completely, they, they, uh,. Yeah. I'm not like what this means on a philosophic a fundamental level before I call in the roof up. What are the ramifications for this with my philosophy of life and then I will patch the hole above where I sleep. Apart from being shaken up she wasn't hurt. She said she plans to keep the rock once researchers have finished their work. Hey, can I have that back when you're done with it. Brown said the university team is asking anyone with security or dash cam footage of a fireball over

the Golden area around 1130 p.m. Pacific time on October 3rd to send the video their way. The town of Golden population 3 700 km west of Calgary. Oh that now I know where it is. I think I have actually driven. It's in Canada. Yeah, it's near Calgary. Yeah, that makes sense. So it better be just near like Jasper and stuff. They're beautiful national parks there. Sure. Is Bigfoot ever go that far up north? Oh yeah absolutely, 100%. It uses those hollow earth portals. I have driven through here. Yep, I've been there. Might have been bought tapes there, who knows? Hmm. Sorry, I know you were about to say something there. I would just, I have zoomed in on the town of

Golden BC and there are two places here that have caught my eye. One is kicking horse pedestrian bridge. I don't know what happens there. And the other is the Melissa Frisbee psychic medium. Well, I believe that's the name of her office. Melissa Frisbee psychic medium. Well, I believe that's the name of her office. Melissa Frisbee. Psychic medium, yes. Excuse me, Miss Frisbee? Please, Miss Frisbee was my mother. Call me Melissa. Melissa Frisbee.

That's amazing. Sorry, give me the name of that, the whole name of that place one more time. Kicking Horse Pedestrian Bridge. No me the name of the whole name of that place one more time. Uh, kicking horse pedestrian bridge? No, the Frisbee one. And Melissa Frisbee's psychic medium. Yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah.

Well, that's all we have time for this week on another beautiful, beautiful, sensual episode of Buntavista. Ben, what's that face are you making? Ah, that was my screwing my face up in agreement that I do sometimes. I didn't think it was particularly sensual today. Yeah, I guess that's just got, we do have like a baseline of sensuality that a lot of other podcasts don't have. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, much, much higher than the average podcast, think we can all agree. Thank you very much for joining us. Don't forget to go to shop.duntavista.com maybe pick yourself up a little t-shirt for the summertime or hey if you're on what we

call the wrong side of the planet we also sell you can get yourself a nice sweatshirt you know keep yourself warm in the winter time if that's coming up. I don't know where you are. If the difference between you dying of exposure and not dying of exposure is buying a podcast jumper, please buy the jumper. Please buy it. As we all know, merchandise is traditionally the cheapest way to acquire clothing. Yeah. Don't forget to check that out and thanks for stopping by and listening and we will see you next time be a try. I think. I think. I think. I think. I'm sorry. Oh Oh Oh Oh