Boonta Vista - EPISODE 222: 3 To 4 Hours Of Uninterrupted Crab-Mode Time

Episode Date: October 21, 2021

Recorded live over Twitch, it's our longest ever episode! A truly staggering number of segments here, all in the name of raising money for the Beyond Bricks and Bars project being organised by Flat Out Inc. *** Donate here: boontavista.com/donate Check out Beyond Bricks and Bars here: https://chuffed.org/project/beyond-bricks-bars-tgd-decarceration-project Check out Flat Out Inc here: http://www.flatout.org.au/ *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hey, it's me, Ben from this podcast. By now you've probably realized that something is a miss. If you have looked at the duration of this episode, coming in a whopping three hours and 18 minutes, this is our... Well, as I'll explain in the episode, we attempted to break the world record for the world's ever longest episode of Pointe Vista record previously held by ourselves, and we did so while doing a very silly stream, raising money for the Beyond Bricks and Bars project with Flat Out, wonderful community organization in Victoria.

This is the raw audio of that live stream. So it's not quite as polished and perfect as you have maybe come to expect from the incredibly high standards and professionalism that we usually display. There's a few snaps, there's a few pops, there's a few crackles, there's some awkward silences, there's some cross-talk, what have you. But otherwise, it is a regular episode of the podcast. It is just more than three times as long as they usually are. If you're listening to this in October, you can still donate. You will hear us explain why that's a good idea, but we would love that very much

if you go to Bonavist.com. Donate. If you're not listening to this in October of 2021, it's a good episode, I think. Two really good, two really good great American hall names in there, some other stuff. Thanks to everyone that watched the stream with us. There was a truly mind-boggling amount of people that's that whole thing. It's very very strange. Anyway, that's enough for me because you're about to hear a whole lot more from me. Yeah, enjoy the episode. Bye. Say a slur. Do it. No. No. And we're on. Oh. Hello and welcome to Borda Vista episode 222. I am Ben and I am here in the border between dreams and wakefulness, where forbidden cosmic knowledge looks menacingly at the periphery like jagged rocks obscured just beneath the surface

of a placid pool. With me, pouring over tombs both ancient and alien, hoping through ceaseless effort and great personal told to discover just a glimpse of the greater scheme of the cyclope, and nameless terrors that toy with this universe as if it were a mere game. It's Theo. Hey, he, there. Hey, the dog. Yeah, good, good. I mean, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I, hey you go. Hey, bud. Hey, how you doing? Yeah, good, good. I mean, I am on my way to being psychically torn in half. Oh yeah, yeah. But just a small complaint, why do the tombs have to be so fucking dusty? Uh, you could dust them? Like, they don't have to stay dusty. I mean, like, obviously they've been neglected and shunned and perhaps even locked away. You want to hire a tome duster is what you need. I can recommend you. I've just got to dust them now, so it's just like an extra thing that I need to do.

Not everyone's going to add that onto my day. Yeah, it's a kind of like physical, emotional labor that you have to do. Also with me, feverishly taking to the canvas in a vain of, their, thia, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, too, too, too, too, too, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to thi, to to to to thi, I's thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. thi, and to the canvas in a vain attempt to convey what nightmare visions her subconscious has granted to her of dimensions beyond ours teeming with horrors of formless, nefless, fuck, teaming with horrors formless, deathless and citiser. It's Lucy. Hey Lucy. Hi. You seem to be painting just kind of like, it's just like a big eye, but it's staring at you and it looks kind of spooky. Yeah. Yeah. I think this is this is fine. I actually just signed I just wanted to spend my life being a tome duster but here I am you know we can't always get what we want. You're forced to be an artist because of the economic realities of toeum dusting. That's right. Sounds pretty good. And also with us it's like a fucked up, I don't know, a kind of a squid or a fishman or something.

It's Andrew. Ah! Hey, Theo, any of those tombs got Santafolds? Fuck's sake. Break out the honkers on Yog-soff. See right up their brain cavity. Turning all the tombs sideways. What they keep in their holes?

Ooh, that's the slimy as told I've ever seen. Octopuses have got um, sort of mouth, mouth asses. Yeah, like, what that mouth ass do? It's like a real, or is that a different word? It's like a super cloaca because it does everything, right? Like it's not just for pissing and shitting, which is the amazing purpose of the choir. I can eat and talk, depending on the octopus, I guess. Okay.

Yeah, so where, this is live. You might not be listening to this live because we're also going to be putting it out as an episode, because this is a real episode of the internet podcast Buntavista it's true but what makes it special Jesus fuck other than the fact that it's live is that this is the world well hopefully will be the world record longest ever recorded episode of Buonta Vista so far the record is held by a podcast I believe is called Buntavista that recorded episode 130 bowing down the house, hour 3629 seconds. We are hoping to beat that. We have decided to add a fun little twist to this by raising some money for a lovely community organization in Victoria called

Flat Out specifically for their Beyond Bricks and Bars projects which is supporting trans and gender diverse people dealing with the castle system in Victoria called Flat Out, specifically for their Beyond Bricks and Bars projects, which is supporting trans and gender diverse people dealing with the castral system in Victoria. And for every $100 that we have raised, we are going to be beating the current record by 30 seconds, hopefully. I don't want to get people's hopes up. This is a world record attempt. Yeah. Currently, we are, you know, we're standing at the top of the 10 meter diving board, nervously peering over the edge. Yeah.

We've all got the yips. Theos manifest in squirty diarrhea, and we're also on the opposite side of the diving platform from him, running freeing from both sides of his speedo. Isn't it nice when your diarrhea finally gets purpose? You know, like we've all seen somebody setting one of those very serious world records and they have mostly seen the frivolous ones. What do you get for it? Like is there a purpose or you just get to be in the book that kids get for Christmas?

You get to meet Dean Kane. I think you might be confusing your, uh... I was trying to talk about this Guinness world record the the the book the book the book. I think you might be confusing your, uh... I was trying to talk about this Guinness World Records show with Dean Kane and then I couldn't find it online and I thought that I made it up in my brain, in my mind. I thought Dean Cain did you do the other show? Not the Ripples, believe it or not. the next two-a-half hours guys. Did th. Did th. Did, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th-I. I, th-I th, th, thr, thin, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I, I th. I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm tha, I'm tha, I'm tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha. I'm, thin, th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm from Sliders. And this is what the next two and a half hours was going. Was there not a Guinness World Record show? Did I make that up in my mind show?

I remember seeing a wonderful record on there where someone broke the record for how they could shoot milk out of their tear ducks. Yeah, absolutely. That's one I remember too. Yeah, it's a classic. We won't be, we will not be doing one that serious or as important, I guess. I actually, I see a lot of, in my research week to week, I see a lot of Guinness World Records because half the news we get here is from a press agency, UPI in America, specifically one man, Ben, Ben, to thrugge a bunch of different different news sources and like half of it is just local

American news. But the other half is neatly divided into either lottery companies saying the strange circumstances under which someone picks their numbers or it's weird Guinness World Records. And I've started to realize that like 90% of Guinness World Records are set by 5% of people that have Guinness World Records, if that makes any sense. There is a small number of people that try and break a ton of them all the time. That makes sense, because it's like a really stupid hobby to have. It is. And once you've done one, you'd want to do another one. I've started being able to recognize this one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one this one one one one one one one one this one one one one this one this one, to recognize this one, to recognize thi one, to recognize thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to recognize, thi, thi, thi. I's, thi. I's, thi. I's, thi. I's, thi. I's, their. I's, their. I's, their. I's, their. I's, their is, to, their is, to, to, to recognize, to recognize, to recognize, to recognize, to recognize, to recognize, to recognize, to recognize, to recognize, their. I's, to recognize, thi. I's, thi. I'm, thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm will just see a headline about a record. I'd be like, oh, that's that fucking guy again. And all these records are like, most

knives juggled while balancing on a two by four that is balancing on an exercise ball and you're like, all right. A lot of people's got to do that one. I think we actually spoke about one of his records once. Did we end up talking about the guy? Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the th. th. th. the the th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. the th. th. All. th. All. All. All. All. All. th. All. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. theean. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. like most pieces of fruit sliced with a samurai sword that's that guy that's pretty oh damn that no that's actually good for him yeah I mean it was very cool but then you watch the video and you look at the guy involved you like it's cool is like it could be cooler could be cool well that well that makes me think of like the IFOCE competitors, the International Federation of Competitive Eating. Andrew, I hate to interrupt you there.

Do you think? Could you start... Could you start... We're still going to say something as well. Should we record this episode? Would that be a good idea? Fuck? Yes.

Let's record this episode of the podcast. I'm so fucking glad I checked it. Welcome to Buntavista. This is a very special episode. Oh, you're dumb, motho fucker. It's already going to be 10 minutes shorter than you said it was going to be. We have to start the clock again. Oh, fuck me.

You're a piece of shit. Lot of moving parts! It'll be saved on the Twitch stream. This was my thought process, right? What just happened to me was, oh, is there any way to see how we're doing for time? I was like, oh, of course. We can go off the cast time, because that keeps the time. And I was like, oh no, Andrew had to switch twitch over and start it.

I figured, I know you switch twitch over, so you didn't do the other way. So, as they pointed out, we do have the video on demand of the twitch as well that we can just sort of, you want an intro, you got to head over it. Oh, I probably can stitch it all together. It'll all just sort of come together. Andrew, we got lots of- I will stitch it together. Andrew, can you pop your mic volume up? Just a, just a touch please. My God.

This is fucking, and this is what the episode is gonna be. No, no, we'll get this all sorted out by hour too. Yeah, we've got a good three hours to fucking sort this out. Our too. Keep th. Keep th. Keep th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, th. that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, th. th, th, th, th, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, just, just, just, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, to to toge. toge, togu. togu. togu. togu. Andrews, to just just just just, to to to to to tho. Andrew, tho, tha. Keep going. Keep going North. Check one two. Piss. Piss. Piss. That one. Piss. Piss. Piss. Piss. Fart. Oh no, we're at $11,100. We're going to need to reset the time. Theo. Can you put that number into your algorithm, please? All right. Please excuse that small interruption. Oh my God... He sounds fine to me. What the fuck you're blaming about it? Oh, no, okay, well, I'll leave it then. Okay, well, I don't make you feel bad. I don't want to amplify any more men's voices.

Thank you, Lucy. All of us should be a third as loud as Lucy. have been asking for. Anyway, sorry about that slide digression. We will edit that one out in focus on the order. We as a team. Tomorrow morning when I wake up, someone I'll do it. We will do it together. That's right. Yeah. Anyway, like Ben was saying, we have a little twist here. So, so we're going to record for as long as the money we raise. And now we are currently up to, I believe the episode has to be two hours and 31 minutes long. Going over our record. And I believe in us. I would never listen to a podcast of that length just personally. I know that like you could just, you could pause it halfway through and it be the same as listening to two one hour 15 minute episodes but to me it still seems like psycho behavior.

Someone will do it. Someone out there will do it. I mean we shouldn't be belittling you if you are planning on doing this thank you for listening. We really appreciate it. Yeah. That's fine, belittle. They'll like it. They probably like it. So um, is it. Is it. Is it. the meat. the meat. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the the the the the the the the th. th. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the their their the their their their their their their their. They probably like it. So, um, is it time to get into this podcast? Yeah. The meat of the podcast. Yeah. So this is just a normal episode, except for the two ways that it's special. So we may as well dive into doing a normal episode normally. Would you like to do some sort of segue? I'm going to pad this out out out out out out out out outtime to think about it and I've run out of stuff to say here we go.

Yes, this podcast is really taking flight. We're soaring off into the sky and there's only one way you can do that and that's with wings. And there's another kind of wings. Delicious Buffalo Wild wings. And we're gonna find out about them. Oh my gosh, in this episode of what's been happening. It's like you have broken path finding. Like you got there but it's like you started walking towards it you went a little bit away from it, came back. This is a story from the publication S. F. Gate. This is of of course the segment where, sorry,

we talk about Bean News. There's a lot of it. Like I feel like there's been a disproportionate amount of Bean news lately. You could say that. Yeah, I could say that. Do you want it? What's been happening? Oh, oh, that's been happening. Oh, oh, that's so good. There it is. This is a story from Sfgate-Aaa. tha. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. F. S. S. F. S. F. th. S. that's so good. There it is. Ah, this is a story from SF Gate, a Bay Area Buffalo Wild Wings has fallen victim to the strangest internet prank. Oh no. Is it a beanie? I don't know if that's true that it's the strangest.

That seems like a hyperbole to me, but I don't know. People on the internet have murdered the the the internet the internet the internet the internet have the internet have the internet have the internet have the internet have the internet have the internet have the internet have the internet have the the the the the theree theree theree that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi people on that that that that that that that that that that that theree thia thia thia thia thia the the the the the the the the the theree theree theree theree theree theree there people on there people on there people on there people on thi people on thi people thi people thi people thi people thi people thi people thinin the the the the an the an thean thean thean the an the an the an the an thinin the an the an the an th can do. That's the funniest prank you can do. Yeah, those guys that the teens that get the slender man killing. Basically doing prank, punked, whatever fuck that's called. Prunked. Prunked, that's right. A peculiar prank going viral on Tick Tock has besieged a Bay Area Buffalo Wild Wings. The video posted by a TikTok TikTok user named Katerin 3, commands any Tick-Tock user who sees it to ring up a Buffalo Wild Wigs in San Jose to order beans. Quote, call this Buffalo Wild Wigs and ask for just beans, they

get so mad. The video reads. I just want to say that has four O's after the S. So I mean that's so mad. I mean I assume you would pick that up from how I elongated the O's. Well you did, but you didn't put any sass on it. You really didn't, you didn't. I'm not particularly sassy person. The video reads posting the phone number to a Buffalo Wild Wings in San Jose. It has already amassed over 1.6 million likes and 7 on the the the the the the the the the the th. So on th. So on th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So that's th. So. So. So, that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's sooes sooes. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. That's. That's. So. That's. So. So. That's. It's. It's. So. It's. th. th. th. th. th. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. So, that's. So, that's. So, that's. So, that's. So. So. So. So, the phone number to a Buffalo Wild Wings in San Jose. It has already amassed over 1.6 million likes and 7 million views on the platform as a Thursday, bolstered by people commenting on whether the prank has successfully worked or not. What does that mean?

He's like someone got mad? Yeah, we made the mainry. Yeah, this is a bean-free environment here. We sell one thing and it's Buffalo Wild Wings. It's right thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. It's thoooooooooooooooooooo. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi, have beans. Yeah, this is a bean-free environment here. We sell one thing and it's Buffalo Wild Wings. It's right there in the name. I mean, yeah, I've never been to a Buffalo Wild Wings. I don't know what they got in there. It's beans. They've got wings.

No, the side of beans. Are the menu. Anyone want to see if they sell beans of Buffalo Wild Wings? Because like, you know, I don't know. What's our equivalent, like calling up KFC and saying I'd like 50 tubs of coal slurlaw? I would like it. Yeah, that's true. Because it wouldn't be a crazy prank if you call up a caullot. They'd be like, okay, well, we sell that. Why you're ordering over the phone? All the... The person on the line says,

I didn't know you could order over the phone. The team that works at the Buffalo Wild Wings has picked up the phone and said, what's this thing that I've just picked up? Because teens don't know about phones. Actually, I believe the team would be too too too too too too too too too too to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their to be the phone and talk on it in the first month. Young people do not like talking on the phone. Up to 35 don't like answering the phone. It's very quick, it's a quick way to communicate. It's to the point, commenters on the video remarked that this Buffalo Wild Wings location

has turned off its phones due to the onslaught of calls it's received. I can't take it anymore. I called to the location made by SFGate was disconnected after one dial turned. Just one weary employee whose job it is to stand there all day and pick up the receiver and put it back down again. No. And now the prank has likely extended to other Buffalo Wild Wings across the United States as Tick Tock users claim to call up their local buffalo wild wi wi th th th th th th th th th the th th th th their th th.. their their th thi thi thi their thi thi thi thi thi thoons. thoons. to to to to to to thoons. to to to to to to to to their their to to their their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoons thoons thoons thoons thoons. thoons. thoons. I thoons. I thoans to phones phones. tons. phones. phones. to other Buffalo Wild Wings across the United States as TikTok users claim to call up their local Buffalo Wild Wings for the same bit. Yelp has also enabled its unusual activity alert for this location, which takes place whenever quote, people come to this page to post their views on the news. And that makes sense.

The gag has existed since at least February 2020, when one prankster on YouTube by the name of Jesus Christ... Huh? I don't like them. Yeah. The very same. Uh, claimed they quote, called every day for two months asking for beans, their tralls. And now they just hang up or get really mad.

Reviews on Tripp Advisor for the location have also been bombarded with bean trolls. Come on there. Since February of this year, with more than half the locations reviews making bean jokes. Inspire Brands, the parent corporation of Buffalo Wild Wigs did not immediately respond to a request for comment from SMKs. How do you feel about the bean epidemic? Bean trolling. No comment. Do we, so Theo, did we find out? Oh, sorry, that was me. Sorry, that was me.

I assumed the silence while you look at your computer was finding out about the bean. No, no, no, no, I was just sort of zoning out a bit. Okay. No, this is seamless. Take as long as you want. We need to to to to to to the the to the to to the to the to the to the to the to to th. to to to the the tho. tho. to tho. tho. tho. to tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. the. the. the. thea. thea. thooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. thoooooo. tho. long as you want. We need to pat out this time. Yeah, no worries. I gotta say if people called me asking for beans. Cloudflare, error 1020.

Okay. Yes, Lucy, you... Hope that helps. Yeah. Lucy, what we're saying if somebody called you? Oh, just that if people were calling asking for beans every single day, I might indeed get so mad. You know what I would do?

Because, you know, I'm a fucking thrifty business person, I would buy beans. Just start selling beans. Yeah, it starts selling beans. Now you're thinking with your brain. I would say yes, and they'd be like, fuck, I guess you're gonna buy beans now. He's smarter than us. He's got us. He's the puppet master and we are dancing to his pipe. Not seeing beans on the menu so far. Browsing the menu of Buffalo Wild Wings.

I think it's clear that they don't sell beans, right? You know? It'd have to be surely. Yeah, still a 10-20 on that Buffalo Wild Wigs food menu. I think they need to sort it out of those. Look, we got, we got mozzarella sticks. We got hatched, chili concasio, chicken case a deer crispy. Crispahom, crispy jumbed, crispyjahed, thiiii. fried pickles, serviceable wings. Re-dried? Reasonable wings? Buffalo Wild wings? Completely edible wings.

Okay. I'll say that about Buffalo Wild wings. So like, you know, like, wing restaurants in the US seem to be a thing, a dedicated wing restaurant like the Buffalo Wild wings type thing. Is the main point just, we will bring you a lot of wings for not that much money? Yeah, sure. I mean, that's the idea of wings. That is the fundamental concept behind wings, generally.

Is it...Continue. Clause of the thear, if you're lucky. Ideally, but like, I feel like in Australia, the math never works out quite that way. If you pay more than $10 for a kilo of wings. You had him mind. They better be like history's greatest wings. They better be wings that grant you the power of flight. I don't know. I'm always scared of those 99 cent wings. Oh man, no, that's too cheap for a wing.

You don't know what you're getting. Wednesday night, tipless tap for 10 wings or $10 for a kilo of wings? It's a kilo of wings, which I think works out to about 10 wings. Probably, because you're not getting a kilo a meat there. And how much is that per wing? I'll leave you to look up the average weight of a wing. That's it sounds like a Theo job. I'll tell you what, I got to an archived version of the menu page of Buffalo Wild Wings, and I've clicked on the side section and now I'm getting a broken loading screen. Why do they not want us to know whether they sell beans or not?

Because they think we're bean trolls. You know what's really good is that there's probably at least one American in the chat being like, no, close the chat now. I've been looking at the chat too. I'll be real with you. Yeah, we don't need that. I'm not actually convinced I was looking at a menu for Buffalo Wild Wings just then. Okay. Could it be anything.

Could it be anything? Could it be? That's too much. That's silly. Yeah. That amount of money people are donating just keeps going up. We're talking like 12,000, you know? Oh, that's too much. That's silly. We're going to be here all bloody night. We are going to be here all bloody night. We are going to have to buy like at least one more billboard to buy my calculations.

Yeah, we absolutely should use definitely the charity money for a billboard. I think that's a really fucking great idea. Yeah, that's why we're doing this. And plus just a little bit for our whistles. Oh, just a little bit off the top. Just a little bit of cream. Just a little bit of cream. Try labor. Oh, you think people shouldn't get paid for their labor? Is that what you think?

Wow, that's maybe thethat Ben is like a budding, savvy entrepreneur. If he was in a situation like that, you know, and there was a big demand for beans, he would get himself a supply of beans. What better way to get a supply of beans than to order a big shipment of beans? I'm itching for another edition of the ship and the board. They probably move them by a train or truck. Yeah, it seems like you wouldn't use...

Kind of considering. You think it's, you wouldn't use kind of considering. You think it's you think all bean shipments are domestic is that what you say? Maybe is one of the first axioms of business all bean shipments are domestic. You think I want to eat beans from another country? This is of course. Maybe this is the first time ever listening to Budapesto, in which case, wow. It's weird time. Yeah, I cannot apologize now. This is the joke-free segment where we talk about the ins and outs of international shipping

from the previous week. Here we go, no jokes. Fatality-free segment. Fatality-free. Yes, this is the world's first fatality-free segment. Fatality-free, yes. This is the world's first fatality-free podcast. I will not do the ones where someone died in them because that's just, you know, come on now, we're not my favorite murder. Oh, that's our guarantee. You tune into the shipping report. You are not going to hear about a fatality. Yep, you might hear about fatality in any of the other segment.

Literally any of them somehow. The Brazilian Brazilian Brazilian Brazilian Brazilian Brazilian Brazilian Brazilian Brazilian th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. Fatality. F. F. F. Fatality. Fatality. Fatality. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. Fat. F. Fatality. Fatality. Fatality. Fatality. That. That. That. That. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. of them somehow. The Brazilian Navy tall ship, Cisney Bronco, collided with the pedestrian bridge connecting Guayakille to Santee Island, Ecuador, developing a heavy list before being ridded by a tugboat that then itself capsized. Oh no, that is so embarrassing. It's a real comedy of errors. I also, when I say tall ship, what's a tall ship to you? Uh it's skinny? It's so embarrassing. It's a real comedy. I also, when I say tall ship, what do you picture? What's the tall ship to you? It's skinny. I'm picturing. Okay.

It's tall. Taller than it is wide. I'm concerned that maybe it's got like a hat on that makes it appear taller than it actually is. Hey, you guys. There's extension boots. Yeah. Throw it those Alpachito lifts. No, it's a tall ship like the classical type of like 1600s Navy, well 1700s, 1800s, a large sloop? No, a sloop is small. You dumb fuck.

I'm picturing like smokestacks on top kind of thing. You know when people do like young endeavor and they're on like a historical ship? With like lots of masts and tons of sails and stuff? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's one of those. It's tall ship. It's like a big, large version of a sloop. It's sort of like a larger version of a sloop.

Yes. Uh, I hate you guys. old time boat and it hit a bridge and then it started to get over and then they were like don't worry this tug boat will tie a line to your mast and then we'll pull it up right and then the tugboat got caught in the current and the boat got stuck and the tugboat just flipped and there's a really good video of a bunch of people on the shore just been like oh! Oh! It's like if you don't the the you you you the you you you the the you th. th. th. th. If you don't th. Oh th. Oh th. If you don't toy toy t only traveled in a car, imagine you've had a bit of car trouble and a tow truck arrives and they hitch you up and then immediately drive into a light pole that is five meters away from them. It's like that classic really good genre of Australian viral video of like a guy who's

bogged on a beach and a guy pulling him out getting bogged. Yes, don't worry. Oh, your yut is stuck. I'll just bring my yut down there and get you out. Oh no! No problem. An Uro bog-ros. The Dutch general cargo ship, Bow Maiden, ran a ground roughly 300 meters off the western coast of Born Holmer Island to Denmark after steaming directly towards the island and making no attempt to correct her course.

Huh. Classic mistake. You know what the problem is that? Didn't turn. Wets and dry is all mixed up. Yep. Should we head towards the dry? Well I'm sitting here as an observer saying no, stay on the wet.

This boat seems to run pretty well in the wets. Yep. It's optimized for wetness. Yeah. Yeah. Two guys arguing are about whether or not, well you've never tried it on the dries. How would you know? How would you know? We're talking correlation versus causality here. Yep. And maybe one guy going, well I have tried it and it didn't work,

but that's one time, what does that prove prove, that prove, that prove, that prove, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, their, to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their th work, but that's one time, what does that prove? Could have been a fluke and accident, anything. The general cargo ship, Fortune, having anchored after suffering engine failure, dragged anchor and ran a ground in the Taiwan straight. That's a bad day. Yeah. Bad day. At least, you know, we're like, ah, the engine's failed. Well, we'll just the engine the engine the engine the engine the engine the engine the engine the engine the engine the engine the engine the engine the engine the engine. the engine. the engine. the engine. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tape, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, tape. I, tape. I, tape. I've, tape. I've, t. I've, t. I've, too. I've, too. too. I've, too. We've. I've. too. I've. We've, too. We've, we'll just put the anchor down. We're okay. Time to go to bed.

Ah! So we establish this on a previous installation of this sector. Do you need me to explain what training anchor is again? It is, it is when you've put your anchor down and you are, you are like, hey, we are nice and secure, and then over time, over time, over time, over time, over, over, over, over, over, over, it, th... th, th, th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th-a, th-we's, thi, thi, thi, thi, this, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we's, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th thi. th % yes. Your anchor is just being pulled along uselessly. Like, god damn soap on a rope. No good. Well, soap on a rope has a use, you know. The target Rua too sank after collision with the tanker,

Punta Madanos, which I think means motha, in Laplada, Argentina. I'm going to suggest that that name is actually Hua too. Because there's like a bunch of Brazilian, there's like Brazilian MMA fighter dudes whose last name is that. Here we go. And you think Brazil and Argentina are the same country? I think they're in the same ballpark.

That ballpark is enormous. You might well be right. So far away from my ballpark though, you know? I think I would have to leave my ballpark to get into that ballpark. That's all I'm saying. Well, yeah, you wouldn't bring your ballpark into another ball. I'm saying I'm not in the same ballpark as them, that's all. They're closer to being in a ballpark with each other than I am. Oh, I misinterpreted your use of the word leave there for an instance, don't worry about

it. The general cargo ship, Princess E-Man. Yeah. Yeah. It was disabled to the Aegean seed or to a fouled propeller. Gotta keep that thing clean. I'm really... So when you said fouled propeller, there was just a massive thunder peel here, so... Yeah, that was Neptune. Fouled propeller. Nothing spooky.

No, all right. Nothing funny about that phrase either. No. I would not dare to make a joke about that. No, and we've made none so far on the shipping port, which is tremendous. the thi really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be not dare to make a joke about that. No, we've made none so far on the shipping port, which is tremendous. Princess E-Man really has- Hasn't been funny at all. Princess E-Man really has me picturing like a guy with the kitty ears. Yep. He's doing an E-girl. He's an E-man. Yeah, he's doing A-S- his neck. You like that vision? You like what you see? Good for him. And he's getting his propeller found. He's getting his propeller found. Going down to the waterfront to get my propeller found. I feel like we have maybe made an almost

identical joke at previous episode. Couldn't tell you. Look, it's a lot of time to fill in. Going to go over old ground, it's going to happen. We got hours. I'm worrying about the fact that we're already through two segments and it's 20 minutes in. The rough weather in the Black Sea caused two compartments on the Ukrainian Navy degousing ship, U-811 bolt to fill to fill to811 Bolter to fill with water. Yep.

So they've got a bunch of offshore CRTs, and this ship goes out there and de-gousers them. It makes that sound, that bong sound, you know? That's a very satisfying sound. Very curious. I didn't Google what that is because I wanted to accept the mystery. Yeah, and I'm tempted to Google it now but I'm not going to. Okay. Cool. Because I think that sort of thing is unnatural. Andrew there's a little... Okay. And the most natural thing of all is nature. It's time for Nature Corner Country To take a snow, nature corner, rubber crab, sniffed my dear.

Oh, right off. This is a press release from the University of Southern California. Aided by stem cells, a lizard regenerates a perfect tail for the first time in more than 250 million years. How... How... How do thinks do that? Or can they just lose their tail?

They can't grow perfect ones. Yeah, it looks like shit. Oh, what's the difference? Well, you're about to find out from some densely words at least for a university. Lizards can regrow severed tails, making them the closest relative to humans that can regenerate a lost appendage. But in Lou... I feel like...

If that's the closest relative to humans... We don't have a close relative that can... You don't really... Not really close enough to really bring attention to that. Yeah, like you're... If you're closest relative relative relative relative relative relative relative relative relative relative relative relative relative relative relative relative relative relative relative relative relative that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the closest the closest the closest the closest the closest the closest the closest the closest the closest the the cards for us, is that what you say? Not really close enough to really bring attention to that. Like, yeah, like if your closest relative that has an IMDB page is like your uncle's, cousins, uncles, nephews, sons, cousins, wife, you don't have a relative with an IMDB page. Yes. Yeah, or that can regrow a tale.tail. Yeah, it works the same both ways. But in lieu of the original tale that includes a spinal column and nerves, the replacement

structure is an imperfect cartilage tube, much like Theo's penis. Now the joke you've got down on the notes here is that we don't have to talk about what I've put one note in this goddamn thing. And I kind of was, I was just sitting there, yeah, relaxed, sort of ready to laugh at your joke. Yeah. Instead, I've made you stress now because I've revealed the imperfect nature of your cartilage tube penis. Tube also implies that it's hollow?

Yes. Yes. And made of cartilage like all penises. The penis is a tube. Because it's got to get stuff out of it. I suppose? I mean it is. It's not...

If it wasn't a tube, where would the cum go? Yeah, but surely while nothing's happening, your urethra pipes all flattened out, you know? I don't know. I genuinely do know. I think my theory is there's a part at the base that closes over, but I have no idea. I'm just saying I don't, I don't feel like, you know, the wind is whistling through there. Why not? When there is not... I just closes over? know, there's a door on it? The Stargate in Stargate has a sort of a metal iris that closes over? You think the penis, the urethra has somewhat of a stargate situation? Yeah, the base of the penis has a stargate kind of metal, iris. Oh, it's not necessarily metal, but a sort of closing over iris situation, yeah. Mine is like the doors in Star Wars that just shoot up and down really fast, you know.

Bang. Yeah, sure. All right. Yeah. I use it to trim my fingernails. Phrough. I want to say that's one of the worst things you've ever said, but I know that objectively to not be true.

Bottom 100. For me, I'm sorry. Yeah. Okay. Now, for the first time, a U.S.C. led study in nature communications describes how stem cells can help lizards regenerate better tails. Quote, this is one of the only cases where the regeneration of an appendage has been significantly improved through stem cell based therapy in any reptile bird or mammal and it informs efforts to

improve wound healing in humans said the studies corresponding author Thomas Lazito, an assistant professor of orthopedic surgery in stem cell biology and regenerative medicine at the Keck School of Medicine of USC. Oh, the trolls, I get it. Like from the internet. Yeah. Is that, are they doing a war craft? This is Keck with a C.

So I don't think their game is all racist. Although I can't vouch for them. I don't know them personally. Okay. These new and improved, these new and improved lizard tales. Are you seen the 2021 lizard tales? You sound these bad boys? New lizard tale just dropped. So are they better than the original tale? Are they perfect in that they're the perfect tale? Or are they the perfect in being a perfect replica, not perfect in the sense of if you could have everything you ever dreamed of in a lizard tail. Think of your dream tale, you know, you could have that. What are the features of your dream lizard tail? I think like maybe, maybe some sort of armor plating maybe, but like not heavy, you know,

you don't want to be heavy. I think that saying new and improved, that to me is, the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thae, thae, thae, thae, thi, thae, thae, tha, tha, thi, tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tha, thaeean, thauu.ean, thauuu.ean, thauuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thae, thae, new and improved, that to me is strongly suggesting that the tail is actively better than before. Yeah, well yeah, that's sort of suggesting that there is an objective metric that human beings could have. It'll have an lizard tack you off. Oh, okay, well that would be objectively better, yeah. Because where else could you find a hand to jack off with? God I wish someone would engineer a lizard's re-grown tail. To have a masturbatory human hand on it.

These new and improved lizard tails exhibit what is known as dorsal tai. Meaning they have skeletal and nerve tissue on the upper or dorsal side and cartilage tissue on the lower or ventral side. Quote, lizards have been around for more than 250 million years and in all that time no lizard has ever regrown a tail with dorsal pattanning until now. Oh have you checked? How do you know that? You've looked at every lizard? This guy's what? 40? 250 million years. Uh, keep your eyes? You've looked at every lizard. This guy's what? 40?

250 million years. Keep your eyes open, pal. I don't, look, I'm just going to say it. I don't want to call this guy a liar and I don't want to get sued. I don't even think he's looked at all of this year's lizard tales. He might have taken a representative sample. Come on. Well, that's why science is rubbish, you know. This guy, you're on blast.

We have taken down the scientific method and not for the first time. Bonte Vista, don't trust the science. We're always saying that. Except for COVID stuff. We're not one of those. Don't trust the first regenerated lizard tales with patterned skeletons. Well, la-di-da. Fuco congratulations.

I have lots of friends. So we've all got something going on. I think it would be easier to just paint a lizard. Lucy, what are you drinking? Lucy, what are you drinking? A Santori, double lemon? How come everyone's fucking drinking these? Where you all buying them from? Probably they're you have to they're in some stores they're wildly overpriced

They're not really worth it. They're very cheap in Japan But it's it's a delicious. It sounds like when I drink PBR you know, yeah Yeah, they cost like fucking buying a PBR in Australia is absolutely insane behavior. That is a fools move move. It is, it sure is, yeah. And I'm a beer drinking fool. Yep. To achieve this, the team of scientists from the medical schools at USC and the University of Pittsburgh analyzed how lizard tales form during adult regeneration compared to embryonic

development. In both cases, neural stem cells or NSCs, the stem cells to build the nervous system, play a central role. Do you say NFDs? I said NFTs, that's right. Adult NFDs produce a molecular signal that blocks skeletal nerve formation and encourages cartilage growth, effectively quote, ventralizing both sides of the tail. This results in the cartilage tube, typical of regenerated tails. This fucking typical of regenerated tails to have have a cartilage tube and I'm sick of it. We're not regenerating anything we're looking down on these tails, you know? Yeah, I mean you can regenerate some stuff. I've spoken about this on the podcast before but when my dad lost the ends of two of his fingers,

he's like they eventually kind of just grew back with the fingernails which we really didn't think would happen. Really. Really. Really? fucked up. But like, they look weird. Yeah. I'll say that much. So they look imperfect and you wish that he could have regenerated the perfect one. I just put some stem cells into my dad. Yeah. You need a car with a tube to do that. However, if embryonic NFTs are implanted into adult tail stumps, they respond to the ventralizing signal and fail to develop into dorsal structures. To overcome these obstacles, Lizzito's team used gene editing tools to make embryonic NSEs unresponsive to the ventralizing signal and surgically implanted these cells into adult tails, leading to the regeneration of perfect tails. This dude is so horny for tails. He loves tails.

He's like, that's the most perfect tail I've ever seen. Just yours. Like, I've never seen a tail that perfect. Straight over to the next lizard. You have the most perfect tail I've ever seen. Your tails like the perfect blend of sexy and cute. That's got a cool little hand to check me off. I will say that you can't spell Thomas Luzito without tail hoe. Huh. Wow. Maybe I think you should find out how to get in contact with him and

send him an email saying just that. All right so let's say you can use a gene editing tool on an animal. What animal are you updating? What animal are you trying, what's getting the 2021 new animal smell treatment? What are you fixing on the animal of your dreams, you know? I mean am I fixing it so that it can help my life or for its own sort? No, it's just a thing you want to see happen. Purely aesthetic. I mean, Theo's obviously going to say, hand on the end of the lizard's tail to jack me off. Because that's... Yeah, you could say, hand on the end of the tale to jack to ta to the tale. Give me like two centimeters wide but a meter tall. Oh no, a giant spider crabs. I can't fucking see you. I'm a gene editing minor birds to just randomly explode.

Yeah, that's a good one. They are thick and fast at the moment the minor birds and they're so pissed off at me all the time. They're always telling me and Louis to get fucked and I. I I I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi no thi no thi no thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Oh th. Oh th th. Oh th. Oh th. No th th. No th th th. No thi thi thi thi thi thi thi te te te te te tean today today today te today today te today today today today today today tod at the moment the minor birds and they're so pissed off at me all the time they're always telling me and Louis to get fucked and I do not appreciate that I'm nice I'm not coming for your eggs bro I have no interest in your eggs whatsoever yeah but are they meant to believe that if they believed everybody who said that you turn around no eggs that that is what someone who was after your eggs would say yeah I don't 't want to even go into your nest. I'm just stretching. Yoink. I'm not even interested. We've been, um, we've been listening to the beautiful sounds Lucy of the very angry

magpie that's where they still angry this year? Are they just as angry? A new yard and attacks children? I think extra angry. There's a, there's a tree just outside our place and you can see the nest up in the tree. And this magpie hangs out and waits specifically for small children. Does not sweep adults. Just waits for unaccompanied small children and then we just hear the screams.

They're going through the house. That's beautiful. Although it's extra pissy this year because it's been coming into our front and back y' children. Chasing them around their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thethem around the side of the house. I'm like, come on man. Hey, strangest children, I could tolerate our children? Now you've gone too far. And then five minutes later, up on the deck, asking for a treat.

Mm-mm. Typical. What if that magpie had a pair of big juicy naturals, would that make its behavior more tolerable? Would it sweeten the deal? What would sweet in the deal? If the bird try to peck your eyes out was just like jiggling. Yeah. The cruelest irony of all, it got sweet, sweet cans and immediately took away my ability to perceive

them, you know? But those last couple of seconds? Oh boy. If that's the last thing I see, worth it. You know? Some beautiful double-des in bird size. What animals are we putting big juicy naturals on to. Because I'm kind of concerned with the magpie thing about where is the line with a feather's stop?

Oh because you want them to be featherless. You want like a featherless like a cleavage, like skin titties on the magpie. Yeah like a harpie the yeah if I'm gene editing an animal like I said it's for my entertainment and like I think the feather covered natural. That's a waste of a natural. Yeah. Or two. What if we just gene edited a cow to just have regular breasts on the bottom, you know? I honestly don't know whether there would be a higher tend towards veganism or a lower one.

It's hard to say. Oh boy. I'm thinking a pelican. Big naturals on a pelican. Yeah. Oh yeah. Why? Well, they can keep me in there, big old beak.

I can just climb in there and just peek. And you just peek over the side. You'll get a little skulled up. That's all down between the boobies you know? Yeah. You could sort of what you could do is you could poke your head out and then put one arm out either side of the beacon to pretend that the natural is yours. Oh. You could do that. Well you don't want them to do the the thrown inside out thing and tossing you out of there that's no good. Hate it when that happens. Standing in the outside John let me in. They're like like the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. thoom. their their their theat. their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their their their. I their their their their their theat. I theat. theat. teat. teat. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. theateateateateate. When they're standing in the outside, John, let me in. Hey. And they're like, no, let me show you my spine. You ever seen him do that? I don't like that when they do that.

Put their little old spine on the outside. Yeah, I might say. I've ever seen that in my last name. It belongs in the inside. It's how Pelicans cool down is they go, yeah, and like invert their beak and they hang their spine out on the outside just to cool down that old. I wish they wouldn't.

Apparently that's not true, sitting in the shade. I fucking love science. I do not trust I fucking love science. Those people display a sort of contempt for science and how they like to sensationalize things. I love it. I have a toxic relationship with science. Theo only knows that because he like opened his browser and that's the home page. That's straight there. I fucking love science. So as a Mr. Tailho continues here, I should say. This study has provided us with essential practice on how to improve an organism's regenerative potential, said Lizzito. Perfecting the imperfect regenerated lizard tail provides us with a blueprint for improving

healing and wounds that don't naturally regenerate, such as severed human limbs and spinal cords. Yeah, imagine if you lost an arm and then old mate starts injecting with stem cells, tail grows out and it's got a hand on the end you can jack off with. That actually would be helpful. See it's real, fuck you or fuck you, just want more hands to jack off? Are you unable to jack off with the hands that you currently have? I just feel like you just want something new.

16 and you're out of, you've shied everything. Yeah, that's the sign like like like like like like like like like like like like to to to to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have like to have like to have to have to have to have the hand hand hand hand hand, like a a the hand, like a the hand, like a hand, like a hand, like a the hand, like a the hand, like a the hand, like a the hand, like a the hand, like to have like the hand, like to have to have the hand, like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th... th. the. the. the. the. the. the the the.e. the the the. the the. the th of, you've tried everything. But you want like an enhanced hand. Does it need to have like ribs, like ribbed hand? More pads. It's textured. It's a textured grip. That textured hand? I'm thinking of a cartilage tube. Yeah, I think you can actually buy those. I think you can. So Ben, this kind of makes me think of, like something you've talked about on this show before is when you're reading these like a scientific study or specifically a news report about

an extract from a study, yeah. You know, and sort of tracking back through the sequence of things. And while it's presented as, imagine if we could grow a tale on, coming out of where your arm used to be with a hand on the end and you could jack off with it. Like we said at the start, when they're saying this is the closest relative we have that can regenerate something and they're talking about a scaled, cold-blooded reptile. It really kind of feels like it has almost no relevance or application to us.

Granted, I'm no scientist, I'm no scientist because I don't believe the science. Yes. You know? I don't believe in science. I know. I do just... It's happening anywhere. You couldn't just be like, how cool is it that we regrue this lizard's tale? To get funding you've got to be like, and we can regrow your foot? We can regrow oil for you, Exxon Mobil. That's how you have to get science funding. We can regrow Marines, severed limbs, defense force. And then I put them straight back to war, back on the field.

You get to sit out for a week and then you're back in whichever Middle Eastern country we're decimating at that point in time. It's just cool that they get to the end of the thing. They say here's all this cool shit that we did. And then they get to the end and say, now imagine that was happening but with you. Yeah. Yeah. And that's kind of the extent of it, you know? Yeah. Pretty cool. Look, let's hope it doesn't turn into my dream.

to the teanny tools to make you want to take care of business with your trust-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s, the, disgust them, they all exist in the uncanny valley and they make you want to take care of business with your trusty lead pipe. With a lid pipe she's mighty angry ready to start a fight with a a pipe. With the lead pipe. She's sweet and red, she's swinging lead. Gonna hit you in the hand, yeah.

With the lead pipe. Yep. This is the segment where we talk about things that we would like to hit with a lead pipe, a piece of infrastructure that doesn't really exist anymore. This is a press. Well, yeah, well, yeah, I guess. Maybe not in your house. I honestly, this is.

Mr. Clean water over here. This is a press release from the University of America Voice, Notre Dame. Notre Dame. It is titled simply Four Legged Swarm Robots. Looking up at the cathedral. Is that the hunchback of Notre Dame? It do sound like that. Why do they say that?

It's so weird. Andrew, do you want to read this one out? Not because I think you'd be, you know, it's not like the, you'd. th... It. It. It's, you. It's, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, it's, it's, you, you, it's, it's, it's, it's, you, you, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th. th. th, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. th. th. th. the, it, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, it's, it's, it's thi, it's thi, don't they? Why do they say that? It's so weird. They're wrong. Andrew, do you want to read this one out? Not because I think you'd be... You know, it's not like there are silly voices to do in there, it's just that we've really got to try and share these out because we have to read so many articles to note. As a robotics engineer, Yasmin Oskan-Aidine, assistant professor of electrical engineering at the University of Notre Dame, gets her inspiration from biological systems. The collective behavior of ants, honeybees, and birds to solve problems and overcome

obstacles is something researchers have developed in aerial and underwater robotics. Developing small-scale swarm robots with the capability to traverse complex terrain, however, comes with a unique set of challenges, such as being an affront to God. Yeah, you should really just give up. The challenge is probably too great. Yeah, you should just not do it. Stop doing it. Yeah.

Just looking at, like, a colony of ants or honeybees and observing, like, the majesty of nature and the mysterious way all these things work together and saying, what if they were little robots that I could sell to the US Defense Force? Hey, you know how you guys all love the behavior of ants? And their ability to get into your fucking house? Yeah, and bite you nutsack, etc? How many time travelers do you think are trying to stop this woman? Like in her daily life, how many people are like running across the street to shoot her with a gun

that then get hit by a car? She's getting shot out every single day. She's like, why does it keep happening to me? It just seems like a lot of extremely come around to like the the can of like Mortine surface spray type shit I was a I was an ant rid guy for ages you know I tried to be an aunt pacifist and then I gave that up pretty quick yeah yeah like you know I live in a relatively old house just fucking holes everywhere like all, all over the place.

Lots of access for those ants is what I'm saying. Yeah. We got some kind of ant that was like, uh, smaller. Smaller than your regular vanilla ants. And they were not having the ant rid, they were Not having the ant rid, not having the ant sand. You know when like just every day you wipe, coming into the kitchen and going, fuck, and wiping everything down and spraying everything, going, surely this is cleaned away all of the trails that could possibly be.

I hope there's not some sort of tiny insect of which there's thousands of them and their only I hope there's not some sort of tiny insect of which there's thousands of them and their only purpose is to find a single crumb. Ah! Yep. Yep. They got it. They got the crumb. They're all having crumb.

And they're like, it's like Rodney Dangerfield starting. And then it's like Rodney Dangerfield starting. Everyone appears. Yeah, I'm a movie. thiiiiiii-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thoom! thoom! tho-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-s. they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they're they're thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thoooo-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-s. They're tho'-s. They know that thing that you're referencing. It's an old movie. That is so true. It's an old movie. You know? Anyway, I don't look at them and think to myself, wouldn't it be cool? Wouldn't it be cool if they're all little drones?

You know? You can put a gun on that. For the study, Osca and Idyine said, she hypothesized that a physical connection between individual robots could enhance the mobility of a terrestrial liquid collective system. Oh, she's talking like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, a, like a, vultron type deal that they should all get together. Yeah, it's like a sort of like that um, self-replicating-replicrificricricricricrific-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s, that, that, that, that-s, that-s, that, thi-s, thro, thro, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thro, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, sort of liquid Voltron situation. Sort of like a matrix reloaded sort of situation. Yeah, it's sort of like that self-replicating swarm species from Stargate. The...

The swarm. Or a hegemonizing swarm as discussed in the Ian Embank's culture novels. It's like the critters from critters. No, I don't think it's like that at all. Well, they all turn into one thing and get about together. Individual robots performed simple or small tasks, such as moving over a smooth surface or carrying a light object, but if the task was beyond the capability of the single unit,

the robots physically connected to each other to form a larger multi-legged system and collectively overcome issues. I wish they wouldn't. Yeah they shouldn't be doing that. I'd prefer if they didn't do that. I've got some issues they can overcome. Being beaten to death with a lead pipe. These hands. Issue one and issue two. Wow what I'm hearing here is that this podcast is against collective action. Okay. You don't like a, you don't like a union? Was that?

Yeah. Quote, when ants collect or transport objects, if one comes upon an obstacle, the group works collectively to overcome that obstacle. Well, that's because like, they have a little society and they're doing something. They're not all being controlled by like, ants live in a society. Ants do live in a society, for the record. They do, though. That's so true about ants.

They're not being piloted by like a teenager with a joystick, you know? Yeah. If there's a gap in the path, for example, they will form a bridge so that the other ants can travel across. And that is the inspiration for this study, she said. Through robotics we're able to gain a better understanding of the dynamics and collective behavior of these biological systems and explore how we might be able to use this kind of technology in the future. Maybe explore that first and then come back to the future part. Looking slightly ahead part, you think?

Yeah, well, just the kind of thing like, you know, work out whether it's for killing people or the other kind, and then maybe do the research. Yeah. Or take that US defense money and do the killing people first and then 50 years later be like, oh we could have used this as a way to find blood clots. Nah, well, what are you going to do, you know? Using a 3D printer, Ozcan and Iden built four-legged robots measuring 15 to 20 centimeters? That's not as big as an ant. That's much larger than an ant. I would not like to see an ant of that size. No. I don't even want to picture

it. We're talking... I'm picturing it in my mind. I don't like it. I don't care for it. This is, we're talking crab style, you know. That ant is crab style. That ants gone crab style here, you know? Yeah, that ants is crab style. That ants gone crab style. He's gone full crab mode. That's what I'm using... Come into your kitchen and those ants have gone crab style. That's what I'm using... Come into your kitchen and those ants have gone crab mode. Using my gene editing tool to send the ants crab mode. Please don't. I prefer if you didn't.

Three to four hours of uninterrupted crab mode. Oh boy. Each was equipped with a lithium polymer battery, microcontroller, and three sensors, a light sensor at the front and two magnetic touch sensors at the front and back, allowing the robots to connect one to one another, form like Voltron. Don't like that at all. No. Four flexible legs reduced the need for additional sensors and parts and gave the robots a level of

mechanical intelligence, which helped when interacting with rough or uneven terrain. Oh, well, why wouldn't you want your little mechanized swarm to be intelligent, you know? Yeah. I don't want them to have that. They've each got a little tail with a hand on the end. If the dick's too big, if the dick's too big, several of them will join together. Oh boy. Quote, you don't need additional senses to detect obstacles because the flexibility in the legs helps the robots to move right past them, said Oskin, I didn't seemingly unaware of how terrifying that sounds. They can test the gaps in a path, building a bridge with their bodies, move objects individually or connect to move objects collectively in different types of environments not dissimilar

to ants. to ants. to ants or crabs you made god damn it is these these crab sized ants Yeah, or crabs It looks like crabs I mean in the long run all robots become crabs I guess It's so true

Oscar and I didn't says that there are still improvements to be made on her design like I think we can make some with the classic lead pipe. But she expects her study's findings will inform the design of low-cost, legged swarms don't like those two words together. No, just swarm in the sense of a robotic thing is, uh, no positive connotations to a swarm. You've never been delighted to see a swarm of something. No. All of the bad animals the bad the bad the bad the bad the bad the bad the bad the badsss the bads the the the the the the the the to a swarm. You've never been delighted to see a swarm of something.

No. All of the bad animals are swarms. Even a delightful bee becoming a swarm, unpleasant. Ah, immediately unpleasant. Oh, look at that beautiful swarm of bees. You wouldn't. You wouldn't say that. Yeah. I'm allergic to bees. Ah, swarm of them.

Now, what if somebody said to you, oh there's a swarm coming, it has a lot of legs. Yeah. No, I'd like it to have less legs, just personally. Yeah. Theo, what is happening outside of your window? That's just normal Bresden stuff. Just a beautiful fundersome, yeah. Just Brisbane things, you know.

Greatest weather on earth. So the design of low-cost legged swarms, which can adapt to unforeseen situations and perform real-world cooperative tasks such as search. Such as murder? Is that what I've read there? Such as search and rescue operations, collective object transport, space exploration, and environmental monitoring. These are all strangely peaceful sounding activities. Wow, the environment they're monitoring is the inside of your lungs,

once them crawled down your throat. Yeah. Yeah. You have to make them smaller to get them. Maybe the size of an ant, if you will. Or a small crab. Well, I took my eight-inch mechanical ants and I shrunk them down to the size of the 10 millimeter crab. Oh boy. Her research will focus on improving the control, sensing and power capabilities of the system. Possibly trying to make the four legs strong enough to crush a human skull.

You know? Well, if they're not, you can have several them working together on crushing a skull, yeah. We'll wrap around you, smushier like that phone booth in the remake of the blob. Yep. Great special effects in that movie. And a very young, uh, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, the, what's, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th.e. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, their, their, their, the, the, the movie. And a very young, what's Matt Dillon's brother's name? Kevin Dylan? Kevin Dylan? Yeah, we haven't actually, we didn't get the timer thing working, so we can't do it.

I just wanted to say he was in it as a very young man and boy has he been ugly his whole life. All right, that was a quick fact. Straight to the point. Look, watch the movie and tell me I'm wrong. So her research focuses on the power capabilities of the system which are essential for real world locomotion and problem solving. And she plans to use this system to explore the collective dynamics of insects such as ants and termites.

Can't you just skip the middleman and just study the ants or termites? It seems like that was also like the takeaway from the last one. It was like, yeah, I don't know, just like... Like ants and termites, they've got a lot going on. You know, they're a lot to study. Yeah, you can take them from anywhere. I don't think anyone's going to charge you for him. Quote, you need to think about how the robots would function in the real world, so you need to think about how much power is-

So you may need to think about buying a gun. You need to think about how much power is required the size of the battery use. Everything is limited so you need to make decisions with every part of the machine. I was doing like a nose to tail type situation. Yeah 100%. Hmm. So while we're in lead pipe mode, hmm. Anybody got anything that they want to add to what is apparently becoming less of a list and more of a ledger. I made a short list today. Okay. You've already seen a little stink preview. It's just three on this list. Okay. In order. Number one, Bob Dylan. Sorry. In order of most preferable to the lead pipe. Bob Dylan is on the top. Oh my god, yeah. Especially now. Well, you're just sort of like, off this point, do you think?

Hardly. No explanation needed for that one. Number two, the coconut crab, the robber crab? Oh, I don't know if I could do that. Really? There's silly, peaceful. They're not silly. They're not silly.

They're not a friend. They're nottoo big. Too big for grub. They're also just disgusting. Number three is blue poles. Yeah. Oh, that's a great fucking choice. I think that's great. I was thinking about it in detail. Just running past the security guards at the National Gallery in Canberra and just taken

a pipe to blue poles. I don't think anything could feel that good. Jackson, Jackson Pollock. I couldn't, yeah, I tried to get a joke's land there and that's good. I hate the best. Yeah, fucks the blue poles. You're going down. Enormous canvas, mostly blue.

Yeah. I feel like it would be a lot satisfactory if you could take it off the wall first, maybe lean it up against something. Because if it's like, if it's up against the big concrete walls in the gallery, it's going to interrupt the swing. Oh right. Yeah, you're gonna whack it and it's just gonna kink, your lead pipe is gonna stop and maybe you'll get some little holes. If you take it down, So I'm breaking in, taking down blue poles with several million dollar painting. Yeah. Just like I'm going to take this down and have a look

at it, but what they don't know is I brought my pipe into the National Gallery. I'll have a mind with you do this real quick because I appreciate the art so much. Oh an art love please by all means. So I'll a closer look, just getting out my magnifying glass. Crunch, paint. I never know what's coming. Yeah, well if you, if you got to lean it up against something, your pipe's going to go through the canvas and you're going to be able to smash up like what I assume is a wooden frame. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, all right. That's a fair point. Yeah. Andrew, did you prepare anything?

I did. Look, I'll be honest, I'm kind of sticking with the theme that I've been on for the last several weeks. Number one of my list is the disgusting gobble dock. You're really thinking about this guy. Like, he's on your mind. Yeah, I think about the gobble dock a lot. No, is he the same guy we've tha tha tha tha thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. th about the Gobble Dock a lot. Right, no, is he the same guy we've already spoken about, the guy that steals the chips? Yes, but were we talking about him in the lead pipe list or I'm really glad?

I think we were. I think you're so much of a hater that it's pushing into fan territory. Oh, whoa! Oh, all right. I actually love him Andrew. Fuck, you hate him so much. Why don't you marry him? Using my gene editing tool to put big luscious naturals on the gobble dock. Hey, they could be anything underneath that fur. Well, yeah, but his face doesn't have fur on it, doesn't? That's true. I put it to you that a female gobbledoc would have smooth, smooth, smooth, luscious, big titties to go with the smooth face and hands, everything else fur.

Okay, yeah, sure. Okay, forget that one. I'm coming back around to correct a different injustice from previous week, which is that I'm putting on my list Officer Big Mac. Yeah, from McDonald. Yeah. I call a lot of grief for saying that I would like to beat the hamburger with a lead pipe. That was mostly from me, but I'm glad you've come round. Look, I've fanburgler. Yeah. I think listeners of the show were also taking issue with the idea that um, of all the people in McDonald's who deserve it and are perpetrators, we should be giving it to

Officer Big Mac, and I only learned that that was his name today and it's very uninsured. He's called Officer Big Mac, that's really boring. Officer Big Mac, the stupid, fucking British Bobby hamburger. Does he have a baton? Well, what I want to know is, yeah, is it, these days he's probably wearing an MP5 around, you know? Probably. Uh, what I want to know is, is he anatomically correct? Yes, he is. He has the third bun in the middle of his head. Oh, because he's a big man.

Oh, he meant like, does he have a dick or just a smooth cock? Come on. How many hands does this guy have? Has he got one spare? So look, he has his silly little British policeman's hat. And a sheriff's star. The fuck is going on there. You know? No idea.

And also he's got the big disgusting corners of cheese hanging out of his face. Uh, he does have the third bun in the middle, which makes me think that all of his attempts to speak would sound like muffled screams. Yeah. Yeah. Also, it wouldn't be, he wouldn't actually connected. His, his buns, yeah, yeah. There's no hinge there certainly. You can all just sort of slide off. So, to me theoretically, uh, Mamm. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theeee. thee. thee. thee. the. the. the. the. So, and go flying off. So to my understanding, to me, theoretically, right, uh, Mamic cheese should operate like the Canadians in South Park, you know? Because there's no hinge, but there is a clearly delineated top and bottom to his head. Right. He's got a flapping head. Yeah. Um, is what you're saying.

But if you got that that third bun in the bun in in two patties, the fuck is happening now? Which part of you was opening and closing? Surely there is an animation of this that you could look at? It's a terrifying... which... which is his mouth? Terrifying body horror type issue and I can solve it for him by putting him out of his misery I I think. God, I do not like this creature at all. And of course he's always coming down on the hamburger, you know. Maybe the hamburger has been forced. You were coming down on a hamburger. I was. Like I said, he's one hamburger to feed his family. I was on office of Big Mac's side, I guess. Mammock cheese can get it, but I feel like we already talked about him. Yeah.

My final entry for this week, a notorious beast, a hard, horrid creature, the sound of this small monster arriving since chills down your spine, he's creepy, he's filthy, I'm pretty sure he's Swedish. I am talking about the annoying thing, also known as Crazy Frog. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. What's he got against the Crazy Frog? Standing there in front of my kids with this little dick out? He's his little dick out. Like he just has his little front of him.

I don't feel like culturally we really came to terms with the fact that he's got his whole dick and holes out. You know how in the story of the creation in the Bible, in the Garden of Eden, before Adam and Eve eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge before they're aware of their own nudity because they don't know about sin. You guys from the Bible? Yeah, so far so good, yeah. Yeah, I'm a few million. Yeah. He lives in that state.

He is not eaten of the fruit of the tree in the garden. He doesn't know the differenceity. So he doesn't even know. He's existing without sin in the universe. He is immaculate. All right, I'm going to dispute that. Oh, he has eaten of the fruit of the garden? If he has no idea about nudity in his innocent body, then where... Where did he get the fucking wherewithal to put a little leather vest on? And a little a little leather whatever it is old-timey motorbike guy. Yeah again this is one of the things that's like somehow makes him nuder. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Like I'm gonna just like a little nudism a macouremont. Oh, I have long maintained that any adult man wearing a t-shirt and nothing from the way down. Yeah, Winnie the poo. He's Donald Ducking. That's so much more offensive to me than a completely naked man. Yeah, although, a little baby boy, a little baby boy. Yeah, a little baby boy. Yeah, a that's different. Your own baby boy?

Why, little baby boy? He's not eating from the tree yet. He doesn't know. No, he's got that idea. There's an age limit on Donald Ducking. It's got his little extremely uptending. It's probably 25. Son's got his little crazy frog penis.

Don't accuse a man having a son with a crazy frog. Why son you're as hairless as the crazy frog song? It's not even really a song, it's just a noise that he makes. It's a mating call that he does. You hear it coming. That's how he warns off predators. A little while ago I was like, I'm going to listen to the crazy frog album. That storm just got to me, that is delightful.

Moving over your way. Excited for when it arrives with me. I was like, I'm going to put on the crazy frog album. What's on the album? Why did you do this? This is your, this is the the thing the thing thing the thing thing thing the the thing thing thing thing the the the the the the the the the thing thing thing the thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing the thing the the thing the the thing the the the the th put on the Crazy Frog album, because it's there on Spotify. What's on the album? Why did you do this? This is your, this is the thing about you, Andrew, that you'll watch the fucking see a movie. Yeah.

But you won't like watch something that someone says it's good. Yeah, you're like, I just, the thing. I feel like you just have time to watch more tha. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. to. th. th. to. the. thi. th. thi. the. th to watch more movies than any man I've ever met in my entire life. You got one of those Harry Potter things. You just don't sleep, it's fine. Oh, okay, that makes sense. Look, granted it has started changing in recent years, but for a very long time I've been a person who is very fine with operating on like four hours of sleep and then just going into work, you know? What is? Couldn't be me. Uh, I'm less capable of doing that these days, but still, crazy frog album I thought. Let's see

what that'll form, let's see if there is much of a banger as the, the mating call. Hey, it's the crazy frog album. Let's see if the crazy frog album lives up to the height. Shove it into your record player. Can't all be as good as the single, surely. And it turns out, it turns out that it is, it's just Crazy Frog, the little Swedish pervert, doing like the fucking Alvin and the Chipmunks type thing of like let's just take another song and Then we'll we'll chuck like you know sugar din' it din' it right pop like that like that like that

like that's like Hampton and the Hamsters the Hamster dance album also really disappointing it's very much like that it's very much like that I was disappointed by that it was the first time it's the first time ti ti ti ti ti ti th th ti th ti ti th ti ti th ti th tip tip th th th tip th tip th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi the first thi thi th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just tip tipe tipe tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tha the th disappointing. It's very much like that. It's very much like that. Yeah, I was disappointed by that album. It was the first time, it's the first time I've ever been disappointed by the Crazy Frog. Uh, Ben, did you get anything on your pipy list? Sorry, before I give you that list, I just want to read the first sentence of. Crazy Frog, originally known as The Annoying Thing is a Swedish CGI animated character and musician, created in 2003, way later than I would have thought, by actor and playwright, Eric Wernquist. He's a playwright. Uh-huh. What kind of a, what kind of plays he got on the go?

I don't know. Eric, why did you do this? One man show and he walks out, little leather vests. No pants. Testicleless penis. Oh, Eric has a, it's got a Twitter account. He's now a digital artist. I bet he's into NFTs. I'd be so fucking much he's in the NFTs.

Oh, you'd be trying to sell the... This could be a different Eric Wankrest actually, I'm sorry, that's untrable. Doesn't mention the crazy fuck. Anyway, this is my list that I prepared earlier today. Here we go. The barber duck. Okay. Take that fucking top hat right off there, you, you. there, you. there, you. there, you. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. I'm th. I fucking top hat right off there, you know. Yeah, you hamfisted metaphor for grief. Bam! I'll process my grief my own way, thank you. Bang! I don't have to feed you worms in the basement or whatever. Use some conditioner and sort out that frizzy hair, you're all dark bitch. I'm not interested in your book.

Stop asking me to read your fucking book. Okay? Not gonna do it. It's the children, maybe. You can't just like leave it in like taxi cabs, hoping that people pick up. What's this? What's this? What's this?

I do work in publishing. Uh, all of the displays in a Michael Hill Jewelers. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That that. That that. That that. That that. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. that. th. th. th. th. that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that' th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. thi. tha. to to to to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tha. Michael Hill Jewelers. Oh yeah. That'd be fun. Fuck him. Yeah. You know the ones that have like crystal animals and shit in them? For some reason?

I don't know who's buying those. Swarofsky. I'm still thinking about that Swarofsky Yoda that I saw a year or two ago. Yeah. Perfect little green Yoda. And like I saw an ad for something the other day that was like, oh, what's the fucking name? It's like a brand that makes pewter stuff. I'm not keeping up with pewter brands.

Puter things. How do I narrow it down? Yeah, like, you know, you know what it's like when you go on down to the locksmith and you buy yourself a pewter stein, you say, do I treat myself to some engraving? Do you have any pewter do-dads? Oh, do actually. Oh. So there is a brand that is like the main one of that bullshit I think. And I saw like an internet ad for that and it was just that brand but making like pewter solid metal figurines of like Marvel figures.

And the extent to which like any manufacturer of anything now will very gleefully go, oh fuck yeah, whatever, whatever stuff we used to make, throw it out. I would get right on board with that. It's like, have you guys seen the, like the, the collaborations between fashion houses like Gucci and fucking streamers and stuff? All right, that's that I'm a shit. It's... It's really blissfully ignorant. But, but it's, uh, but it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th. It's, th-a. It's, th-a. th-a. th- shit. It's... It's... Rameefully ignorant. But, uh, but it's, it's just funny because, you know, obviously they're like, hey, we want to keep making sales.

We have our whole thing of our very important fashion houses, status and standing, but also we would like for people who play fortnight to pay $300 for a shirt. You know? Now that is good. God damn. David says, tell Andrew the pewter is Selangor. Selangor? Selangor?

Thank you, Dave. Jesus, fuck. He knows. He knows what's up. The little remote control or whatever puppet thing from Saw. You know what? Do you mean the one that sits on the tricycle? Well, Jigsaw is the man. I'm talking about the little thing that's just on the little tricycle, yeah. He's got a name. I thought Jigsaw was the name of the guy. I'm saying that the little littletricycle dude has a name.

That has a different name to the name of the guy. What, what? What are you going to search for this? Jigsaw tricycle name, Billy. Billy? It can't be Billy. That doesn't sound right. Billy the puppet. Very imaginative naming there. But I believe, Ben, that you are talking about Billy the puppet from Saw. I would like to take a lead pipe to Billy the Puppet from Saw.

I see spooky. No you're not. You're dead. He's on the tricycle when you hit him, right? Oh my god, yes. And I believe the trictrictrictrictrictrictrictrictrictrictric the the the the the the the the the the the th is thrictrictrictritritri- th is th is th is th is thus is th is thripe is thripe is thripe is coming thi is thi is coming thi is coming thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi is thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I's is thi. I thiiiii he's attached to it. You think so? When he goes flying off into the air. So I think I think there's two ways this could go right. Either I wake up in a basement like I have handcuffed a lead pipe to your arm. Oh cool!

Immediately smashing all the mirrors in the place. So either you like like you cue it up like a t- the the the th- the th- th- like- like- like- tie- tie- like- like- tie- like- tie- tie- tie- to- to- to- to- to- to-up to- to- th- th-up th-up th-off off off off off off thi-off th-off th-off off into thoing off off off off off off off off off off off off into off off off thoing off thoing off th-offing off th-off off th-off off off th-up off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off to to to to to to to to to to-up to-up to-up to-up to-up like-up like a to-up like a the the the to-up like-up like a the-up like-up like-up like a the-up like-up like-up like-up like a the-up like-up like Billy right off of the tricycicle, right? And he goes sailing off into the back of the dusty warehouse that you're in. Yeah. Or you hit him while he's on the tricycle repeatedly eventually sort of mangling both of them up together like a car wreck. Yeah. I kind of like the idea of them being all all twisted up together. Maybe he just stays alive because he's a is he alive? Is he alive? Is the puppet alive? Is the puppet alive? I have not watched enough saw movies but I'm going to say no. He's not...

Drawing the distinction between like a... I have not watched enough saw movies, but I'm gonna say no. He's not... He's not... Distinction between like a puppet that's sort of like holding magical powers or something like that. A trucky situation. Or a puppet that has like flesh and bones inside. I mean it's not... It's only like little circulatory system, it's got, you know... This is just a regular. Unif nodes. This is just a regular puppet.

It's a puppet being controlled remotely in the manner of a puppet. Oh no, I only saw the first one, I guess. There are no supernatural happenings in the saw series. What about the little dude on the, how is he doing that? Puh! It could be anything. How is he holding the sore? Says in the Wikipedia entry that his jaw moves to give the impression that he's talking. Oh, that's what he's coming from somewhere else.

Oh, yeah. Uh, the first fish to crawl on land. Yeah, they, he fucked up. You dickhead. Just going back in time. Bad move. The whales and the dolphins and shit have got the right idea. Up we go?

You know what? No, off we go. They don't have to do, fucking. Strapping in the water. Sacrifice. No dolphin has ever had had. He they, he they, he thededededededededededededededed, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the first, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoooooo. they. they. they. they. the the the th. Strapping in the water. Sacrifice. No one has ever... No dolphin has ever had a novated lease on a car. No, that's for sure.

I think he, um, he definitely wouldn't be as popular, but I think the world would be a better place if Joe Rogan had just stuck exclusively to talking about how great it would be to be a dolphin. Because he talks about it a lot, I'm pretty sure. I mean, I'm loathe to agree with Joe Rogan, but he's right. Delfast, it's pretty good. Yeah, people are invariably going to bring up the fact that like... Got your dick on the outside, got your dick on the inside. Dolphins do some nasty shit to each other. That is so true. Jesus. We're all animals. I'm not. A mummy. Oh, oh yeah.

They're pretty good? Yeah. Like particularly like the original universal monsters mummy. Yeah. Yeah. Because that thing's useless. It's not really that scary. That'd be pretty good, I think, pretty satisfying. Dust coming out of it every time you hit it. Oh, yeah. This is going, You know how I had been watching horror movies with my eight year old? I've been like finding those ones that are at the right sort of level. We watched Fred Decker's Monster Squad recently, which I had never seen before. And yeah, the mummy in that, there's a scene where they like, they, it's, it's hanging

off the back of the cars, they drive away and they pin its bandage to something and it's like all gets wrenched apart, all of its bits coming out, dust everywhere. All the sort of bandages come off its legs and lower abdomen, and then it's just dull ducking it's horrible, mommy dick hanging out. Crazy frog penis for a world to see. It's saying, oh, it only looks like that because of the embalming while everybody laughs. It shrug when all of the moisture left my body. But I agree, I think, because that's very clearly,

they're doing like the universal monsters crew in that movie, you know. And they get a really good sense of like I would say that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that kind, that kind, that kind, that kind, that kind, that kind, that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, that's that's that's thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, that movie, you know. And they get a really good sense of like I would say the that kind of crunchy brittleness of the mummy in that movie like he's very stiffly kind of limping around. I completely agree to wail on the mummy with a lead pipe delicious. A very lyrical quality for the sentence. The stuffed carcass of farlap. It gives you a lot of material to work with. It's a big fucking horse.

Are you starting at the top or at the bottom? I feel like you could just come in at any time. I'd like to start with the head, I think. As a corollary to this one, Farlapp's Heart, which I believe is preserved... Are we still lead piping? Yeah, we are definitely still lead piping. We've got like three hours to fill in here. Yeah, you can just smash the pickle jar that farlap's heart is in.

That'd be... That'd be, that'd feel really good. Yeah, bliterate that thing. Yeah, that's nice. Uh, like, like Lucy was saying about Jackson Pollock, you can go down to the museum and say I'm just gonna get this down and have a look. I'm just gonna have a closer look at Far Laps Heart to see the details. Yeah, can I just, can I just like have a closer look at it like, Just want to... Just want to... And then next thing you know, you're tossing it to your friend who's been standing there the whole time holding a lead pipe in the classic batter-up pose. Yeah. Smashing that thing out of the part. And they're about to really get a sense of the pipe feel of Farlaps Heart.

I feel like you're going to hit it and it's gonna hit back. You think? Real responsiveness to it, yeah. Do you think like, I would be very curious to know like how that preservation technique has treated it because I feel like it could either have a good bit of, a good bit of resistance to it, or it is immediately disintegrating like you've hit a sort of, like a two-month-old orange. Well, based only on my understanding of pickling, you know, vegetables, as long as they've put something in there that has a high amount of pectin, it's probably still kind of crunchy. Do you think it's pickled?

Sure. It's in a fluid. You think that Phylapse Heart is pickled, perhaps a delicacy? I mean, it's close to it? I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th. It's th. It's that's a... It's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiolate. thiolate. thia. thiolate. thia. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's mean, it's close to it. We just, sorry, I'm just, I'm just, I know, this is 3 a.m. going back for more far, heart. I know this is an audio medium with a visual component that I can't share, but if you guys want to look in the chat at the image I've just put in there, of fileaps perfectly pickled heart. I do like how it's just suspended there, you know? It's just floating, yeah, is it neutrally buoyant? That's interesting, sorry. Can you drop that bad boy into a glass?

It's like one of those things where you have to like... Pickleback's farlap's heart. We're gonna add that to our cocktail board, it'll be great. Look I'm just gonna say it, I think it's too big to go into a glass. That thing is... Let's get a big glass, Jesus. That thing's like basketball size. I mean, there's nothing in that image for a frame of preference, but it certainly does give

the impression of at that. Hell, I've tasted it. Yeah. Just when the guards aren't looking, you know, putting a little cup in the liquid. Putting your tongue down one of its... Those big aorticles? Yeah, there you go. Sorry, I've got a few more things here. Oh, keep it going. The alien piloting the bigger alien suit in Independence Day.

All right. Like a little guy on the inside. A horrible little creature and you'd be putting it out of its misery. And I could do a sort of welcome to Earth. And then bam. Bam. Bam. The little alien in like men in black that says the galaxy is on a lion's belt

I would just, that guy, pie for sure. Yeah, that guy's absolutely. And he's, you just barely have to touch him with a pipe and he's gone. Yeah, he's gone. Have we already said, um, the skinny cigarette smoking aliens from men in black? No. No. I feel like they're too wired. ones that just hang out in the break room like smoking cigarettes inside which you clearly can't do in a government.

In my head they yell like old Greek or Italian men but it's been a long time since I've seen it. Okay, that's Ben's perception of old Greek and Italian men for the record. Aliens. Alien's things. Wow. Alignanita. Oh, okay.

Imagine that? That'd be nice. Like, I find myself wondering with a lot of the lead pipe items that are like a file-ap's heart or a vienetta or whatever. I guess, I guess any stationary object, you know, any lifeless type thing. Are you imagining it sitting there on a surface and you hitting it, or are you imagining someone throwing it to you? The vignet or I would like someone to do a little, whoop, get it up in the air so it's a perfect swinging height? Just a nice lob into your strike zone? Yeah, or even just sitting on like a tea would be quite good. That'd be nice. Slightly melted, just like a little bit melted. Yeah, you know, you don't want it too hard.

But the chocolate's still crunchy. You need that crunch. I don't know if you guys will actually know this one, but the pink guy with a big tongue from Final Fantasy 9. Do not know. If anyone's gonna know it, it's Lucy. That's that. That's that. That's that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. That's that's that's thi that's that's thi thi thi thi that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiii thiiiiiii thiiiiii. It's thiiiii. It's thi. It's thi. thi. Do not know. Not familiar things. If anyone's going to know it, it's Lucy. That's really rude. And I'm just going to sit here and pretend like I don't know what Ben's talking about. Yeah, okay. Sure. He ends up being super powerful depending on how you level them up. Pink eye can kill some people in one move if they're the right level. It's not a character from Kingdom Hearts. So how th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiii thii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th if they're the right level. It's not a character from Kingdom Hearts, so how would you know? I mean he might have it up in Kingdom Hearts. You might be and you never know. And lastly, the official kilogram, the one kilogram weight that is in a glass bell jar, uh,

somewhere in the world. Now that we measure, we have a like a mathematical derivation from a physical constant of what the kilogram is, so we don't actually need the kilogram anymore, but it still exists. And I would like to hit it with the lead part. Same thing with the meter, right? Yes, yeah. They're everything. All of our scientific units are from fundamental constants now. None of them are just like looking at a thing, being like, it, and, and, and, and, and, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, yeah, they're everything. All of our scientific units are from fundamental constants now. None of them are just like looking at a thing and being like, it's that long.

If you need to calibrate your ruler, come check out the thing that we have. Come to Switzerland or whatever and hold it up against this. Yeah, no more of that. Or if you can't move it, you go and take the meter and sort of... Measure your shit with it. Measure your shit or whatever, yeah. Yeah. Oh, hey, I wanted to calibrate my ruler. Theo's got the meter right now.

Shit. Did you look at the sign-out sheet? Shit. He was meant to have it back on Tuesday, but he's not answering his phone. He could be measuring anything with that out there at the moment. He could be shaving a tiny bit off it to fuck everything up for everyone else. He would. Doing a prank where you borrow the meter and like just make a make a- Well, you make a perfect reproduction but you scale it down.

Yeah. that scale it down just a little. Ben, what is the official one kilogram weight made out of? Yeah. Is it feathers? Ben, what is the official one kilogram weight made out of? Yeah. Is it feathers or is it rocks? You know? Beat me to it. I think it's a little lump of iron, I think. Let me, no, sorry, not at all. It is, well, originally it was a cylinder of platinum iridium.

Why are you making this so hard for me to find out? Look, because I don't want to, I don't want to sound judgmental. And I don't want to besmirch your addition to the ledger of things we're going to hit with lead pipe. Yeah. But I would say that I think this item is going to have a very bad pipe feel. Ah, sorry, it's 90% platinum, 10% erudium. Now, I agree with you on one level. I agree that the physical sense, the physical pipe feel of it would not be great.

But I think the emotional pipe feel of it would not be great. Not great. But I think the emotional pipe feel of it would be tremendous. Knowing you are hitting the kilogram, holy fuck, what a high. Emotional pipe feel. I can't think of a better high than that. It's such a significant object. All of the like psychic energy that is imbued in that object from the importance that humans have placed in it. Hitting that with a pipe?. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the pipe feel, the the the the the the the tip feel tip feel tip feel tip feel tip feel tip feel tip feel tip feel tip feel tip feel tip feel tip feel tip feel tip feel tip feel tipe tipe tipe tipe their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tip feel feel feel feel feel feel tip feel tip feel tip feel tip feel feel tip feel tip feel tip feel, tip feel, tip feel, tip feel, tip feel, tip feel, tip feel, tip feel, tip feel tip feel, tip feel tip feelthat object from the importance that humans have placed in it, hitting that with a pipe? Oh, God damn. It'd be like hitting the Holy Grail.

You know? Holy Grail, that's, add that to the pipe list. That'd be nice. He reckon they got like a treasure room in the Vatican. Yeah, oh my God, they got so many treasure rooms. Like I know they got like I know they've got a lot of treasure. It's kind of you think they have some secret treasure rooms. No more sort of picturing like do they have a Scrooge McDuck type situation where you can go and just

roll around it like a loose treasure. Yes I mean why else we could become the Pope? Because the Pope's not allowed to jack off, but he is allowed to roll around in the treasure room. Okay. Is there a stairway that goes down into like an Aladdin and the 40 Thieves type chamber? You know? Surely. Just a lead pipe to the Vatican. That's a day trip you can. Oh my god.

A little weekend a th lead part. Well I guess I'm saying I think that I'm going to town in a big room full of like treasurer and antiquities would be fun. Smashing some big mirrors you know? Maybe seeing what the the Swiss guard or whatever they're called of the Vatican City look like how they dress and how they're very silly. They look very silly. No, they are the Swiss guard. I would start to doubt myself for sound insane by their. No, you're that.

Never doubt yourself beautiful. Oh, thank you so much, gorgeous. They dress ridiculously, but then you like, it's one those Wikipedia articles when you read them and you like, oh, these guys are like navy seals, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they, oh, oh, oh, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they they're like, like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're like, they're like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, oh these guys are like Navy SEALs, except they're trained in Halberds and other medieval weaponry. It's fucking joke. And they have to look very silly. They have to wear silly pants every day of their life, but they're also like have been doing assassinations for the CIA secretly before they became Swiss Guard or whatever. Like, these guys are fucking operators and they're in big pantaloons. It is fucking hilarious. I love Vatican City. It's my problematic fave. I'm a bit of a stand of Vatican City. I read Angels and Demons when I was like 12. Oh, actually I honestly think that might be where I got that shit about that.

Fuck. goddamn. It's my favorite documentary movie. Yeah, yep. And it's all true. So is that bringing us to the conclusion? Theo, did you? No, I mean, look, I've... So nice of you to ask, Ben.

I have put together a small list once I realized it was supposed to do a list. So my number one pick, unfortunately passed away of coronavirus this week. So he got piped by coronavirus. So his corpse. Yep. Yep. Yep. Hoodini's liver. Okay. So his corpse. Uh, Houdini's liver. Okay. Yeah. We just get one more in there. Hold on. Is it still in Hoodini and he's alive? He's alive and he's like, hey.

Yes. Give me a womp with that lead pipe. I can take it. You have no idea how many times I have been like drunk and talking to someone that does not know you at all Theo and I have somehow Houdini has come up for a conversation. I mean like wait you've got to say this and I have like my Twitter app has auto completed the search from Colin I and Randy Pudini. That's the best fucking shit. Oh man. Um, Father John Misty.

Shut the fuck up. He would not take it well. I'm with you. I have tried. I have tried so hard. Man. Fuck he's annoying. Yeah.

You've got to start by smashing his guitar in front of him, right? Yeah. Yeah. And he just curl up like a bug. He would. Um, the, uh, I'm gonna go with the kitted up Lexus that fucking, uh, accelerates loudly up my street every day at 5 p.m. Yeah, making me fear for my son's life even though he's inside

and I'm inside. Does it have custom plates? That sounds like a custom plate joke. No, no, it is stanced. That's very nice. How aggressive is the stance? Oh, very mildly stanced. They spent all the money on the two mufflers. Thea, can I ask you a personal question? Absolutely. What's your dad's name? His first name. Ian. Hmm.

He donated 50 bucks to the stream. That's all. Wow. Thanks, Ian. Say thanks, Daddy. Thanks, Daddy. I think you should say thank you, Daddy. I can't imagine my dad ever being able to understand the the the the the to the to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand to understand the the the the the to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. toooooooooooo. te. te. thean. thean. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. to understand the internet enough to figure out what I'm doing, who I am.

Yeah, to donate to a go fund me as well. Do you think he had to scroll past Mr. Pregnant donated to 155 with the comment I'm Mr. Bean jacking off. Mr. Bean eating pussy. 39 posts, no faves. League my walls. Wizard Van Mural. Oh dear. See, I love to hear that you are entering the same part of your life that I am in now, which

is that I hear the one car on my street that always drives up the street too fast. The bastard car. The bastard car. And also like we're on sort of just like a street, a street that is a street thrifictty, um, um um um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, that, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that I, that I street too fast. The bastard car. The bastard car. And also like we're on sort of just like a street that is several streets off a main street kind of thing. And it just kind of curves around and back up and connects to the same street, you know. So whenever I see somebody going really fast on it, I'm just like, psycho behavior because the entire street is basically just one big semi-circle back around

and you can't see anything that's coming in either direction as you're going. But I always have the same sensation, which is that I go to my front window and I look out and I go, a bit fast. Yeah, and kids are inside. It's like, it's like, mid-conversation. I'm just like glaring out the window and Caitlin just like shaking her head. You should start calling the cops or posting in next door. Yes, yes.

I was, I was saying the other day wasn't I about someone who did that for like a community group in our area and they posted a thing about the magpie that's sweeping people and they were were like like like like like like like like like like like like like....... I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I was like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like. I've they've they have like like. I've they have like. I've they've they've their. I've they've they've they've their they're like like like their they're they're their they're they're their their their their. I'm their. I'm their. I their. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're like. I they're like like like like. I've. I've like like like. I've like. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they're like. they're like. I they're like. that for like a community group in our area and they posted a thing about the magpie that's sweeping people and they were like warning magpie I have contacted community services. I've called the cops on the magpie. Very good. You've got to come out and shoot it with a rifle. The horrible creature that gets turned inside out in Willow. Oh, the trolls. Yeah. Yeah. Well, A, that's a mercy killing and...

B, I think it would kind of allow me to heal. You want to, um, you want to also kill it before it gets kicked off the bridge into the water and turns into a much bigger inside our monster. Yeah. God, that movie is... Children should not be watching that. No, children should be watching Pulte-Gyst. Yeah, I've very much been considering showing my children Willow. Yeah, I saw that when I was... Yeah, like, 10, I think, 9 or 10, and that fucked me out pretty bad, but, like, in a good way, I loved it. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've that, I, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've. that, I've. that, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. t. too, too, too, too, too-a. too-a. too-a. too-a. too-a. too-a. too-a. too-a. too-a. too-a. too- 10 and that fucked me out pretty bad but like in a good way I loved it

I used to watch it over and over again. I haven't seen it. Great. It has a very charming Val Kilmer in it. Mad Mardigan. Yep. Till he gets turned inside out. It's really fucked up because you never know at what point in the movie each character is going to get turned inside out. You just know that they will. But by the end of the movie, all just quivering masses. Yeah, he's got that one spell, but I mean when it works. It works, it works. It works. And the horrible creature known as Mr. Met. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Is that the thing that is just a baseball? Burn him alive. Baseball man. He was boiled. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah.... Yeah. Yeah... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Yeah. Is that the thing that is just a baseball? Burn him alive. Baseball man. He was boiled boiled.

Oh man, I mean if this was a visual medium, there are so many American mascots that deserve to be lead pipe. If everyone could, I think it's Pepperdine, Pepperdine mascot, if everyone could Google that at home, Willie the Wave. You're not talking about like the princess's sister. Willie the Wave. I'm talking about Willie the Wave, the Pepperdn pervert. Just a horrible looking creature who needs to go. What's the mascot that's an angry corn cob?

Oh yeah, I do very much just like Willie The Wave. I don't think by contrast I don't think that I have ever had like felt the lead pipe urge come over me when I have seen one of the many many many many many extremely niche weird Japanese mascots for things. They're so nice. They're all just like, yeah, they're all just like, kind monsters. Yeah, they're all like, hey, this big guy is a fried egg on a slice of bread. Yeah, he's nice. We have fucked up mascots.

This guy is a depressed fish. Yeah, we have Hobart Hurricanes, mascot Salmo, who deserves the pipe. Don't like... S- Salmo! Like, he's a salmon. Salmo the salmon. Yeah. Not the rapper from Italy, Mauritio, Piscuotu?

No? Peshuto? Yeah, no. Salmo, mascot, okay. Pipe. Give him the pipe. Oh yeah, that fucking thing's gotta go. That creature is out. A lot of mascots really bring out that urge, don't they? Yeah.

I suppose like hitting the mascot with the man inside too. Yeah, absolutely. The man, the man is the concept of the mascot. Yeah. Yeah. Dutaping his mouth, putting the head back on. If you eat him so hard, because it's not really going to hit him that hard, you know, you can have fun with it. It's true. It's like a... He chose this life. It's like putting a silencer on your lead pipe, you know? Now, before we go into the next segment, can we get a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th. that that, that, that, that, the that can we get a little update on donations and time?

Absolutely. So, we did start off with a $1,000 goal and people immediately said, fuck you and your piss-week goal. Yeah, it was a pretty fucking, it was a shithouse goal. Okay, well I just had to put A number there, no need to fucking yeah. It kind of felt like all those donations for each one was just a slap in my face you know for daring for daring to set a goal that low. I want more billboards is what I'm hearing. Bumped it up to 5,000. That went. Had to bump it up to 10,000 before we started recording the live episode. We've bumped it up again to a $15,000 goal and we've currently raised $13,940 for flat hours. And according to the very large deep blue-sized computer that Theo is built in order to calculate what this means for us,

we are now obliged to record an episode of the length of two hours and 46 minutes in order to beat the previous world record longest episode of Buntavista recorded by a group known as Buntavista. That's so long. Yeah, and I'll put the Python code I'm using in the chat just in case anyone wants to follow along at home. Uh-huh. Perfect. And you know, we are currently sitting at, I believe, about an hour and 28 minutes.

I think that's about where we are. Yeah. I've adjusted for the 10 minutes of technical issue at the beginning. So we're looking pretty good. Thank you very much for the support. to to to the support. the support. the support. the support. the support. the support. to the support for the support. the support to the support. Uh to the support. Uh to the support. Uh the support. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, th, thu, thu. Uh, that's to that's technical issue at the beginning. So we're looking pretty good. Thank you very much for the support from everybody so far. Remember that if people do keep donating while we are recording this live episode, that is going to extend the episode itself. So you know, if you do wish to punish us for some perceived slight, now's the time to

do it for a good cause. Real or imagined. Yep. Real or imagined and let's be honest. And that cause, again, as I understand it, is to buy more billboards. We said to to the billboards. We said we wouldn't mention the billboard. We said we wouldn't mention the billboard. I guess we want to talk about podcasts. I thought we said to mention the billboard.

I thought he said to make it clear about the billboard, which is what we are spending the money on. This has nothing to do with billboards whatsoever, and I don't even know why people keep fucking asking us about them. Bad news, everybody. Bad news, everybody. Slight update, we have just gone up to $15,142. Did we get a grand in one go from some record Dave by any chance? 15...

What the fuck just happened? Are you carrying the one, are you making sure you carry the one? Probably not. Okay, we can do that. That's easy. Oh my god, it was Dave. I wasn't even, I was kidding. God damn it Dave. A thousand sixty dollars. What? Oh, you're that a fucker. Save it. Good Lord.

Oh, he saves up all of his money just to spend on good delightful causes. He loves to give. He's a giver. He is an angel. He will go down on you for hours. Hours. I've th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, $ $ $ $1. tho, $ $ $1, $ $1, $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $. th. th.00. th. th. th. thi.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00. th. thoo. tho. He will go down on you for hours. Hours! I've heard this. I've heard this about him! Jesus Christ! He's a giver. Man, is a giver. Well, thank you, Dave, for extending it by how much, Theo?

I know, I know. My calculation say about four hours, but I'm not like, I'm not the maths guy of the podcast. Well, look, we're gonna come back to you with that shortly, but let's say, who knows, could be in the three hours range. Let's give another update on that after this segment. What do you think of that? That sounds wonderful. Everybody agree. I actually just bumped a one of the top-tier segments that we have from the show up a little higher to be the next one because I think after that big of a donation we deserve a particularly good one and also because we just spent an hour listing off things we would like to hit the pipe. So if something a little poppier, you know, something with a little bit of

jazz. Uh, so, so what is it that you would, you would like? Oh, no, I bumped up to the wrong spot. Thank you for double checking. Sorry, let me. It is what I believe it is. Yes, exactly. Yes, sorry, and I'll repuette it. Live. Live. You're seeing the magic live. So... This is exactly how that sausage gets made.

Hmm. Simply that hard. We're simply that good at podcasting. The sausage's got a little hand on them. Oh boy. Oh boy. Boy. Well folks, it's time for a segment that we all know and love in which we celebrate the wild diversity of the names of America. It's the great American Hall of Name. Now this is a particularly special Great American All of the Name, because previously this has been my domain. Like the train man in the matrix reloaded, down here I'm God.

Except I'd like to invite someone else into my domain in the same way that he occasionally invites me over to his house to have some pizza. The train man from the Matrix? It's just the train man. It's just the train man. But the two albino twins are not allowed. It is crazy to me out. It's wild that you you you you you you you you you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you have that you have that you have that you have that you have that you have that you have that you have that you have that you have that you have that you have that you have that you have that you have that you have that you have that that that that that that that that the two albino twins are not allowed. It is crazy to be weird me out. It's wild that you have never mentioned this. I'm friends with the trade man. I'm not close enough to ask him why he needs like nine watches. It just doesn't make any sense.

Theo has invited me into his domain, invited himself into my domain. Yeah, that's right. I've kind of stolen your bit. No, I love it. So we've both compiled a Great American Hall of Name for this. Theo, would you like to go first? I would love to. And I'm, first of all, an honor to be able to do this. I love the specificity of the lists that you troll. Unfortunately, I had to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho.. tho. the. throw. throw. toooooooooooooooooooooo.. too. too. too. the. the. the. the. the lists that you troll. Unfortunately, I had to, well not so unfortunately, but I would

just say I had to cast a wide net given the, given the occasion that we need to rise to. So these are American law enforcement officials, including the CIA, the FBI, US States Marshal, police officers, detective, secret service, capital police, DEA, military police, sheriffs, I think, are in this list as well. So let's get started. I'm going to ease you in with the Phineas Hitchcock. Dick home. John Dickie.

John Dickie. Mm-hmm. John Dickie. Peter Hose. I know a John Dickie. Like I know one in real life. I'm sorry but Peter Hose is like, that's a, that's a real dark horse coming from behind for one of my all-time favorites, Peter Hose. Like when we get like, you know, Dick Richards, that's good and that's funny.

And it makes, like, but it's very down the line, you know. Peter Hose, though, that's a two for one that delights me. Yeah. Dick. Dove. Duh. Martin Nutsen Dan Smut Dan Smut.

How you doing buddy? Henry Hole. William Beavers. Oh, Billy Beavers. Derek Poundstone. James M. Gaylord. That one just snuck in. I don't know. I don't know. John G. Utterback.

Seymour Pine. Johan Singh. William Sloan Coffin. William Sloan Coffin. Robert Seldon Lady, James William Lair, Thomas Alexander Parrot. Mr Parrot, you stand accused. Please Thomas, my father was Mr Parrot. Rutledge P. Hazard Oh, fuck John E. Ham

He didn't want to be John Ham so you got to be Johnny Ham here he comes Timothy. comes. Timothy R. Sample. Nancy E. Bone. Ben C. Blades. Yes. He's on the C blades type. Thomas B. Thomas B. Needles. Thomas B. Needles. Thomas B. Needles. They're able. Those two need to be partners. they. they. those. Those two need to be. the. Need. to. they. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the see Needles. They, those two need to be partners so they can have a movie called Needles and Blades. Oh God, yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Charles A. Apple. Jacob F. Girkus. I really like how you've gripped these together.

William H. Pickle. William P. Wood. Theodore L. P. P. Poole. George W. Cave. Charles P. Clever. Charles Tallman. Carlton B. Swift Jr. John F. Good. That is amazing. the swift junior. William Spry. William Sloan Tough, James Stephen Speed, Jack Dyer Crouch the second.

Oh my goodness. Stephen Slick. Floyd Boring. Pete Constant. Constant Martin. Come on now. E. Willis Andrews the 4th. Oh, come on. James Jesus Angleton.

Cleveland Cram. Eugene Crumb. William H. Crumpton. William Rip Robertson. Jacob Adolphus Bryce, Kermit Roosevelt Jr. Oh come on. Leonard Baldie, Buck McGovern, Rhinelander Waldo. Rhinelander? You're just, these aren't real. Rindalind the Waldo?

Brian Sicknick. Tom Three Persons. It wasn't the, um... He's not called Tom Three Persons. And he's wearing a trench coat. That's... Hello? The police officer that said, uh, the police officer that said that they got poisoned at the... by the Shake Shack. Shak. Wasn't that officer Sick Nick? Wasn't that they got poisoned at the, by the Shake Shack. And you know, wasn't that officer Sick Nick? Wasn't that their name? Really?

It could have been, oh, hang on. I'm still stuck on Dick River. No, I'm thinking of the cop that died at the Capitol Hill ride. Yeah, that's right. This is the guy that's pepper sprayed to death. So, Tench Ringgold, Cassius MacDonald, John Plank Tracy, Chuck Quackenbush, George Wackenhut, Preston Grubbs, Skeet a Skeet a Skeet aton, Durastus Clap, Redberry, and finally Meredith Miles Mammajuke. It's actually what the radio station is named after Triple M. Oh boy.

Meredith Miles Mama Junk. Oh boy. I think we actually have some surname double ups coming up I think. That was beautiful Theo by the way. Thank you so much for letting me do that. Dick Hoover. I just want to repeat Dick Hoover again. All right. I have what they call your mother. Yeah. Oh I mean that's fucking rude. Sorry. I just increased our gold at 20,000 by the way because we were at 15,000 and that's yeah we may as well fucking do it. Cut it out everybody. Cut it out. Okay so I have taken my list from oh we're actually at 16,400 at this point. Fuck me. I have taken my list from something that I was

sort of keeping in my back pocket as a, I know this will be good, so save this for a rainy day. And I think, because this is for a good cause, this is that rainy day. I have taken my names from the team roster of the BYU cougars, the Brigham Young University. So this is the Mormon University. Yeah. And these guys have whack-ass names. So I've taken from the team roster from 1925, which is close to its inception, it's when they started having full roster's website to 1972, which

is when the name's kind of stopped being funny. Right. But I've got a fair amount of them here so here we go. And I'm gonna start gentle as well. I'm gonna take the tea bird approach. Dean Bench. Corky Wall. Good for keeping you little. Little notes up. Yep. Wire diagrams that's I think. Niles Vest.

George Staples. Lonnie Badger. It names... Love a good badger. Names shouldn't be as funny to me when they are just like an object? Objects. It's so funny. Bench, wall staples.

Now this one, this guy might actually be a relative of yours, Andrew. Rondo Law. It's cool name. Mark Weed. Cool name. That'sed. Cool name. Very cool name. Ron Bean. Dave beers. That's nice. I like to catch up with him. Shout out to listen to Dave who is currently on the beers. Dutch miles. Which I believe is just slightly longer than a regular mile. Marlowe Holland. Disgusting place. Norris Fish.

Forest bird. These are just nice. That's a nice name. Marion tree. Now we're getting into some of the sillier names here. Oh okay. Yeah, so those are the normal ones. Now are in the sillier ones. Livonia Fuller. Mm-hmm.

Vernal Worthington. These are nice. Felvity in the ears. All in Bedolph. Never mind. That has a real like onomatopoea kind of sense to it. ears. All in Bedolph. That has a real like onomatopoe kind of sense to it. Like throwing a basketball onto a pool cover. Bedolph.

Yeah. Yeah. Eldon 40. Bud Bellnap. Reed Gempler. Wendell Egbert. Come on now. Come on.

Grover Garvin. Floyd Merckley. Floyd Merckley. Tillman Turley. Demar Stout, Lamont Wilcox, Levant Satterfield, Lavon-Camp. LaVon-Satterfield, Lavar Cump. That's somebody's terrible name for the cup, but they could come. Oh no.

Grand Anderson. La Grande Anderson. La Grande Young. Le Grand T. Oh. Oh. Having a Le Grand T. Yes, please. Ivan Threat. Stan Stapley, Moyle Knudsen,

Melden Warner, Melvin Wheeler, Melvin Wheeler, Sherl Blackham. Now this one. Kirk Belcher. Dewey Brunge. It's important to have a safe word when you're engaged. When you're doing Brundage. Uh, now I've checked and this is this actual person's first name, this is not a nickname. Lucky Dare Fleming. Yes.

No. Lucky Dare is their first name. That's so good. Is it a first two names or a single? It's like that's their first name is Lucky Dare but it's two names, you know what I mean? Like, it's a certain, like Billy Bob. Like John Paul. Okay. Meur, Scousin. Yeah. Golden Romney. It's clearly a Romney relative, right? Yeah. I actually I was looking at Met Romney's family train to see if he was in there but I could get there.

Eldon Bridley. Bob Luce. He each meet up with Dave Beers. Bruce samples. For if you don't know if you want to get a Bruce for certain, Wayne Starton. He sure is. That sure hope he is. This one may be my favorite from the list. Randy Authentico. That, that is beautiful. Oh, American guys be named Randy.

Or is he's done his birth certificate? Randall Authentic. Have any of us ever, do any of us know a real life Randy? I do not know a Randy, I don't believe. That's like your name is horny. It's wild. You're just sitting around with that name. Yeah, I'll have someone called Randy Dick and they'll be like, okay. Yeah, sure. That's Randy Dick. That's a normal name for a man to have. Do I make you your name, baby? Oh, come on now. Thaddeus shoemaker. Norm Slaymaker. That is S-L-A-Y.

He's a slay maker. A little different. Keith Wangsgard. Roy Menlove. Come on. Dway, get man. Those two need to hook up. Those two should hook up. Elmer Loveless. Oh. Dave, skin rude.

Burnie head. Getting on some of that, Bernie head. Bliss Hoover. Rod Long. Okay, all right and now the rest of this list is the low hanging fruit Jesus Christ the low hanging fruit pardon? We got Richard Wood. We got Richard Wood. No those friends. Richard Seismore.

Uh-huh. Richard Took. That's a Dick took, which would obviously lead to our next name, Richard Took. That's a Dick Took, which would obviously lead to our next name Richard Hunt. That's what Ben's on every weekend. I'm trying. And now the even low-hanging fruit. Dick McGoffin. Dick McGoffin. Dick McGuffin. Dick Lugass. Dick Lugass. lying fruit Dick McGoffin Dick McGoffin dick Park Dick LaGass Dick Ralph dick darling Dick Park dick Hill Dick felt and finally finally, Dick Doer.

Just doing that dick? You got a dick needs doing? Thank you, America. It's so lucky this is for charity. God bless. Yeah, we are saints for reading to a list of dick jokes. Things we want to hit with a pipe. You know, you gotta fill that time, baby. The nation of America. What an incredible place. So can we just check back over at the donations there? It has rocketed up to 16426. Thanks to Cheer itself who donated $1.61 which you will note

is $1 above Dave's. Wow, he's left the comment. Hi Dave. Oh, that's so good. Oh boy. Don't be drawn. This is not a... Dave, don't be a fool. We could put Rhinestones on that billboard for that much.

No billboard chat. No billboard. They introduce confusion. Uh, so is that, is that change that that that that that that that that that that that? that that that that? that that that that? that? Dave? Dave? Oh that that? Oh that? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh, that? Oh, Dave? Oh, Dave? Oh, Dave? Oh, Dave? Oh, Dave. Dave? Oh, Dave? Oh, Dave. Dave. Oh, Dave. Oh, Dave. Oh, Dave. Oh, Dave. Oh, Dave. Oh, Dave. Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh. Oh. Oh? Oh. Oh? Oh? Oh. Oh? Oh? Oh. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave? Dave? Dave? Dave? Dave? Dave? Dave? Dave? Dave? Dave? Dave? Dave? Dave? that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that's that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that? Hi? Hi? Hi? Hi? Hi? Hi. talk about the Billboard. No Billboard. Introduced confusion. Uh, so has that changed our time there, T-Bird? Yeah, we're up to 2 hours and 58. Yeah, that's what's on there. Okay. We are up to date, and the great news is that we are, we are just entering a third hour of this episode.

I'm still on my first beer. Yeah, it doesn't seem right. Stretching our bad boy out. Incredible. When you're doing a little beer, little beer break, a little beer, do you have peed? None of you have peed or a sip water. Are you all staying hydrated?

I haven't seen water, any of you. It's been two hours. I drink my one glass of water a day and I did that earlier in the day, so I'm fine. How do you sleep? Not well. I have obstructive sleep at me. I mean Lucy if she's gonna. Because I'm drinking too much water. Yeah, not well. Yeah, not well. I cleverly drank a whole ton of caffeine To dry myself right out. That's not yeah And now I'm drinking beer and water, you know, maybe um just this is a little behind the scenes, but do you want to do the next one that I put in the order there and then I can go piss and get a beer? I would love that. Oh, okay. Okay, Lucy is up to the plate? And then I can go? I thi th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th th th th th th th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to dry to dry. I to dry to dry. I to dry. I to dry. I to dry. I to dry. I to dry. I to dry. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th thry th. I th. I would love that. Oh okay, okay. Lucy is up to the plate. For a segment

that we do not have a theme for, right? Yeah, okay. This is a segment that we do not have a theme for, but it is called. I don't like this one. Look we can like this. I didn't know this was in here. Well you can thank Ben for that. This is a segment that we've maybe done one of one of before. I think it might even be a spin off of like a Dr. Lucy relationship type deal. Yeah, we just did one of it doesn't need a theme. We've we've gone careening off the road in our Dr. Lucy ambulance. And instead, we're driving straight into an apartment complex because this is the segment. That's right, rental, in it? Which we don't have a theme for.

And there's the theme there, but... That was the theme that you just made. Hey, look, you know, we will accept a theme from our beautiful listeners. We had one sent in for the whole report tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho, tho, tho, we tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that's, that's, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, we, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, sent in for the whole report that we have not had a chance to use yet, but I love it and we'll get it in there. So Lucy, perusing your real estate listings as you do. What did you come across? I wasn't perusing. This came to me. My housemate actually showed this to me. This is from Fairy Floss real estate, of course. She, do they not like you? My housemate? No, this this this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was this was th. This was th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. This is from Fairy Floss Real Estate, of course. Sounds legit. Do they not like you? My housemate? No, this was just a, no, this was just a look how disgusting this is. Oh, like a dead cat.

Yeah, exactly. So this was on Ferryfloss Real Estate, which is the Melbourne real estate, Facebook type page. I'll just, I'll just dive right in. Baddies apply only. Apartment in Abbotsford. Yeah I'm out. Hi flosser Baddies X X X. I'm looking for an absolute legend to come fill the second bedroom available in my apartment after my boyfriend and I split. Whoops. Was it an accident? I don't know. the second bedroom available in my apartment after my boyfriend and I split. Whoopsy. Was it an accident? I don't know, there's no punctuation.

I don't know, like what happened here? Whoopsy. To bed, to bath with your own bathroom of course. So you can film all your Tick Tocks and take as many nudes as you want when you want, and that's amazing I think. That's pretty much all I can ever think about. Yeah, I'm like, when I move into a house, I'm like, what's your like bathroom lighting situation like for my Tick Tocks? What's your nude photo policy? How many do you think I can snap off in a day?

Yep. You know? Will you take the photos for me and why not? Exactly. Heeded pool for them baddie laps. And then there's a tongue-out emoji. So, like, I get the concept of a pool, I think. I don't... Uh, I don't... It's heated. I thought I did, but I don't kind of get what constitutes a baddie lap.

What is it that makes... What is it that makes it? Well, it's just a pool, but you can do your baddy laps in it. What are you showing us there? Can you read that? No, absolutely. What does it say? It says your bedtime is 10pm. Gine down is starting. Gotcha. You're a grown man.

Cancell the fundraiser. We're giving back for money. You have a wife. You have a child, you have a home. Yeah, my bedtime is actually usually like 8.30 because I sleep like shit at the moment. Your phone is telling you you need to calm down because it's almost bad time. You gotta wind down, right buddy? It's a wine down time. Oh my grave, a little glass of milk. Yeah, so I need like one to two hours before bed to take nude photos in the bathroom.

Yeah. It gets me in a good space, you know? Yeah. Uh, tongue out, tongue It's sauna for acute steam and all endless Instagram content. And that's not acute steam as in one word, ACUTH. Not a cute, a cute, yes. A cute steam and all endless Instagram content. I love it when steam is cute. Yeah.

Capital letters full gym so you can maintain that hot boy slash girl, neither. I do like that. They're being inclusive there. That's very nice. Being inclusive. Anyone can be an Instagram baddie. You could have just said like, I guess hot summer body without having a really could have. Yeah. You could have said that.

But I'm not here to sub edit their Facebook posts. Yeah. We have a cinema. Yeah, you heard right. Damn, a fuccccc, thc, a fc, a fc, a fc, a fc, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a marks. We have a cinema? Yeah, you heard right. Damn, a fucking cinema. We also have a golf room, TF, question mark. Right, that one is more alarming to me than the cinema. What's a golf room? Is it one of those like virtual like you're a CEO for the 90s and you got that, yeah,

the fake, the wall that you hit the thing against? And you got that, yeah, the fake, the wall that you hit the thing against and it says, a mini golf course? A robot lady says, you have hit the ball, 270 yards. And you go, nice, time to buy more stocks. Either that or it's just an empty room and it has like a putter leaning up against the wall and a glass in the middle of the room lying on its side. Yeah. So you can do the powerful the the the the the the the the the the the the the room lying on its side. Yeah. So you can do the powerful business guy thing. And a guy is handcuffed to a pipe on the other side of the wall.

Yeah, right. Help me! You've got to ignore it the whole time. But you're working on your swing. Please, I've been in here for days. This steaming woman keeps toaken selfies. Boring shit, fridge, washing machine and dryer included. Aircon. Sorry, you skipped over something.

I did because I don't really get it. It says boring shit fridge in brackets, not white. So they've got a,? They got a tridge-huh? They got a tridge-pun? I had it? Oh boy. So are we thinking that that could be like the fridge with the stainless steel fry? Do they mean, they just mean like a stainless steel fridge? Yeah, they got one of them brushed metal ones. Yeah, I mean it's like me

If I see one of those in your house, I'm like shit Yeah, I don't know I was not cool. I'm with chameleon. Is it like not cool to have like a white fridge like why are they specifying that the fridge? It does that have clout? Is this close? It is to me like? to to me. to me? to me. that? to me. that? that? that? they. they? they? their. th. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? Is. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Is. Is. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is. Is. Is. I? Is. I? Is. I? Is. I? Is. I? Is. I? Is. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I th. I the. I th. I th. I, if I see a stainless steel fridge, I'm thinking, boy, there's going to be a lot of fingerprints on that bad boy. Yeah, it's going to pick up scratches. Yeah, that's true. I'm putting up a fridge wiping roster right there in the kitchen, you know? Yeah, I've never wiped the outside of a fridge. Really? life. Really? Boy, have I wiped the inside of a fridge. How do you live, my friend? Although you also, yeah, you don't have kids either,

that's fair. Yeah. They be leaving stuff on surfaces. Yeah. Hmm. Aircon slash heating. Obviously, it's 2021. I don't drive. And th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thoom, thi, th. thi. tho, tho, tho, tho. I've tho. I've, tho. I, tho. I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I've th. I've th. I've thooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I've th. I've th. I've that. I've thi. I've th. I've't drive and then there's like some

leaves. Oh so she's bisexual. Yeah yes she's oh no do you think um because I feel like an old old timey classified's now you young whipper snappers out there you don't know nothing about newspapers. You ever gone to the shop and bought the trading post? No you fucking haven't. No you fucking haven't. Remember that thing that used to prop up the entire publishing industry classifieds? Classifieds?

Remember the publishing? Yeah, now newspapers are all shit because they can't make money selling classifieds anymore? Yeah, it is just like Craigslist, an eBay that immediately fucking decimated the publishing industry. But one of the things that people, like one of the code words that people would put into listings was like, green leafy suburb. And it meant that you're like a weed, you're a weed-friendly household. Yeah. Right. That's what I thought these leaves meant, but what that thi to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the the to have their their their their their their the their thi thi thi thi thi thi that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that they. they. their they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the they. they. the they. theyb. theyba. that's that's that's that they. that's that they meant that you're like a weed, you're a weed-friendly household. Yeah, right. That's what I thought these leaves meant, but what does it have to do with the car? No, I think that's just like a, the way they finish every sentence like I'm nature-friendly. Maybe. Oh man, it could be a nice thing, could be a green, leafy suburb. I think that's just how millennials twoe-ail, that's that's that's a that's a th. that's a th. that's, th. thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the the the the the the the three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, the the the th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thee, the thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, the, the, the, the, the, the, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, th how millennials tweet, but post-talk. Here's the line that gets me.

You'll be living with me 25-year-old health care professional. Okay. Yeah. So I may be 30, but I feel like, is that what 25-year-olds are saying? Are they saying come and take a nude for Instagram and your TikTok in my sauna, baddy? I've met a few 25-year-olds and some of them do say like th- like th- like th-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-s-like-like-like-like-s-s-like-like-like-s th-like-like-s th-like-like-s th-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-you-you-you-you-you-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-a-a-a-a-a-n-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-a-ni-ni-a-a-ni-ni-n-ni-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-n-n-li- for Instagram and your TikTok in my sauna batty. I've met a few 25 year olds and some of them do say shit like that. Okay, never mind. It's troubling though.

It is. 25 year old health care professional who likes to de-stress on weekends with a few mates and a few bags. That doesn't sound... Like I guess everyone has different ways of... Destressing? Destressing? Would you do it with a few bags? sound, like I guess everyone has different ways of de-stressing, right? Would you do it with a few bags? No, that would make me quite stress actually. That would do the opposite of that to me.

That would make me quite jazzed up. Yeah, I would like to de-stress by going for a swim in a creek. Well, I've de-stressed with me. They have a heated pool. You could go and do a baddie lap. You could, yeah. I think maybe you're distressing with the baddie lap. You know how you love going down to the creek with, um, with Louis and doing your baddy laps? You were doing baddy laps today.

That's true. I think I would call it. You like, it's just spent 20 minutes saying, hey, you don't know what a baddie lap is, and now you're insisting on calling how I spent my life to do baddia. I think we've covered what a baddie lap is. Like to me, not trying to be judgmental here. Before I say something truly truly truly truly truly truly truly truly truly truly truly truly truly truly truly truly truly trying to be judgmental here. Before I say something truly awful. No, like, look man, you know, do your drugs.

That's fine. That's cool. Yeah. But you're illegal drugs. It's none of my business. But I would say if you feel the need to mention in your real estate listing that you like a bit of cheeky getting on the bags, I'm going to assume that you like getting on the bags a lot.

Like, like if you're just saying like relaxing with a few bags, like you really, really like that. If getting on the bags is your downtime, what's the busy social period look like? What's your busy weekend? So, so like I guess, I'm a a a a a a a a a a a the the the th a you like a you like a you like a you like a you like a you like a you like a you like a that you like a that you like a that you like a that you like a th th that you like a th cheek a the the the thi like a bit a that you like a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a that you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like th th th, that you like you like, th, th, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th like, like, what's the busy social period look like? What's your busy weekend? So, like, I guess all I'm saying is that in terms of compatibility with me, I read that and I immediately think, ah, house full of people who are awake all night long. Having the worst conversations you've ever heard in your entire life. All weekend. All weekend. Yeah. And possibly some weeknights. So you're either, and you know, like, kudos to this person for flagging it because. That's true. At least it's out there. I'm awful. Well, you know, it's better than moving in and having this person be like, oh, by the way, time for me to be on the bags for four days.

Don't worry, Andrew, they have other hobbies. Good. My hobbies include being hot and acting. My hobbies include being hot and acting. That, so cool. Yeah, acting up. Yeah, I guess that's true. Get him. Uh, I think I'm a quite responsible, respectful housemate.

I like my own space, but always up to kick back and chill. Yeah, by doing a couple of enormous lines. Yeah. Couple of bags, few bags. Yeah. I'm so chilled out right now. Fuck. It's open a restaurant. I love relaxing. I'm so chilled out right now. Fuck! It's open a restaurant.

I love relaxing. God. Um, so when are you moving in? Uh, yeah, soon. It sounds great. Sounds like you'll fit him. I also, I also, for a baddie lap. As a fellow baddy, I like to chill also, you know? You guys just don't get the baddie lifestyle. I don't. I am, I do not, yeah.

Just, I don't have a lot of overlap with the baddie community. For me either, like, not a lot of friends, you know, it's just, that's very separate from me. Yeah. I don't, I don't think, uh, like, does anyone that a middle-aged baddy is a thing that exists? I don't think. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the thi thi thi try try try tell thi the thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that a middle-aged baddie is a thing that exists? I don't think so. Yeah. But I cannot say for certain. I don't work for us. They're going to schoolies. I'm saying, I'm not sure it's even like, uh, possible for me to become a baddy if I was trying to at this point.

No, well, you sort of borned, bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad was trying to at this point. No, well he's sort of born baddy, I think. I'm caught a baddie on my mother's side. Yep. Runted my family, my mother was a baddie. My grandmother was a baddie. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what, that listing gave me some bad vibes. Yeah.

Set a little tingle up my spine. You th, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, tha, th, th, th, th, th, tha, tha, tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, tho, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, to me me, to meaa. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. that, tingle up my spine. You know how dogs freak out when there's an earthquake coming? That is how that listing made me feel and that's because dogs truly understand the nature of the omen. You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the his fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon. And you shall know that God is God and bow down to his will. Yeah, we've got a spooky find this week.

I reckon we got a double dose them. So these ones I've put back to back, I think, tie into each other quite well. So this week? I reckon we got a double dose them. So these ones I've put back to back I think tie into each other quite well. So this is... Would you say ask to us? No more of a human centipede situation because I'm reading them forwards in both instances. Oh so they're facing in the same direction but they're right up against each other. You're absolutely right. Yes that is true. They's that they're that that they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're sp sp sp spooning. they're they're spooning. they're they're they're th. they're they're th. thi. thi. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. they're th. th. they're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're th. they're they're th. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. they're. they're. they're they're they're the. the. they're the. true. But they're spooning, if you will. Also, we're up to $17,200 now. I don't know how that fu happens. My goodness. Jesus Christ. Oh, which is from Theo's latest calculations, puts us at a three hour and two-minute episode.

And we are at like two hours and ten minutes. We're doing great guys. So this is a story from Reuters. Rueters. Rooters. Bloody Rooters! Yeah. Sharp-eyed diver finds Crusader's ancient sword on Israeli seabed. You never like, that has to make one of those beach metal detector guys so fucking angry. Yeah, because they've been going down there 40 hours a week for

25 years and they've found some coins. Just walking around, meanwhile this guy's just a bit off the shore. This day tripper has wandered in. Found himself an ancient Crusader's sword, which it looked like we've got to be real, I don't care how old the coin is. Yeah. It is not as cool. It's not matching up remotely. No, I would say a modern sword is way cooler than an ancient coin. A sword to believe, sorry, a sword believed to have belonged to a crusader who sailed to the Holy Land almost a millennium ago has been recovered from the Mediterranean seabed thanks to

an eagle-eyed amateur diver the Israel Antiquities Authority has said those classic underwater eagles. Yep, sea eagles. Though encrusted with marine organisms, the meadlong blade, hilt and handle were distinctive enough distinctive enough to notice under, after undercurrents apparently shifted sands that had concealed it. Oh, that's an omen. That's an omen to me. Yeah. Yeah, why now? You know?

The earth's kind of peeling back, revealing. The movie, the mask, like an underwater diver's doing something and then it knocks open the chest. Yeah and it just happens to wash up on shore. Next to Stanley I believe that is the name of the protagonist of the film the mask you are correct and he was played by a man called Jam Carrey I think Ace Ventura. You have to wonder how the movie the mask would play out if it was a sword that washed up on shore. And it gave him the superpower of being able to cut people in half. I've never read the old, like dark, is it a dark horse comic? The manga. The manga. I've never read the manga. I've never read the manga. I think it's, isn't it the, I'm probably entirely wrong here, but isn't it the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the, it, it, the, the, it, the manga on which it is based. I've never read the manga. I think it's, isn't it the,

I'm probably entirely wrong here, but isn't it the 2000-A-D? Ask. I'm pretty, I thought it was American, but like my understanding of the comic. That was the late 90s. My understanding of the comic. That's a great joke. It is that it's more like like an an an an an an the the the tha. It's a tha. It's a tha. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's, I'm, I'm right. There you go. Is that it's like it's more like an anthology type thing and every issue a different person finds the mask and it brings out all of their worst qualities and they end up getting killed as a result of of coming into contact with the mask and then someone else finds it in the next episode.

Yeah, it's not on when Henry Kissinger finds the mask. So, so the next episode. Yeah, it's not on when Henry Kissinger finds the mouse. So the one issue, so the much worse. So the issue that has Stanley Ipcus in it ends with him dying as a result of Maskey Time. While he's in the middle of doing Cuban Pete, one of the cops guns goes off with the sclatties, fucking brains out. Air old by 40 cops. Yep. and just splattered his fucking brains out. New air-walled by 40 cops.

Yep. That is very much a- Shake that gun like a Maraca. Whoops! They're called me Cuban Pete. Get him! Shout out to a friend of the show, my dear, dear treasured friend, Dave, who also grew up from Macai, much like Theo, who just every, I can't remember the first

time he did this, but just out of nowhere demonstrated that he knew every word to Cuban Pete because they had learned it for Ben in high school I think, because he played the trumpet. Chick-chicky-chick-chick-chick-chick-chick-choo. Just didn't even know there were verse lyrics, you know, you kind of focus. mask is doing, but not Dave. He's a modest guy. The lady has a verse, the lady cop who's surprised. The whole thing is the prize she's singing, yeah. Yep, that's that. What's going on? Why am I doing this? But imagine it was a sword and he was just running around, pleading people in twain, you know? Something, something, cub and peats just walking through the rumb beat as he strolls in like a day-a-sl. Sli, sli, sli, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, thus, thus, the the the the the thus, their, their, their, thus, thus, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, is is th, th, is th, th, th, th, th, thus, thus, thus, thus, is thus, thus, is thus, is thus, is thus, is thus, is thus, is thus, is the thus, is the thus, is the the thus, is the of. Slice, slice, slice, slice, slice, sly, slice, stab. The location, a natural cove near the port city of Haifa?

Haifa. Not sure. It's suggested it served as a shelter for, nope. Seafarers, said Kobe Sharvet, director of the authorities, marine archaeology unit. Quote, these conditions have attracted merchant ships down the ages, leaving behind rich archaeological finds, he said, the sword, believed to be about 900 years old, will be put on display after it's been cleaned and restored. I think, much like Hellboy's right hand, this might be the key to the apocalypse. I would be careful with the sword. Did you watch the new Hellboy, the David Harbour one? Yeah??? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the sword, the key to the apocalypse. I would be careful with the sword.

Did you watch the new Hellboy, the David Harbour one? Yeah, it was not good. It was also baffling that they tried to fit like nine of Hellboy's like 10 arcs in the one movie, like 20 years of comics into 90 minutes. The only good bit was the bit at the end when all the demons are running a mark in London. And they're all these like Hieronymus Bosch style, like horrible creatures. Very lovecrafty. Yeah, it was fucking dope. Yeah, I enjoyed that very. A few of the casting choices were okay and whatever,

but like, they just kept skipping from scene to scene so quickly I'm like, oh but what about the, are you gonna, and, yeah, it wasn't great. It's now a Hellboy too, the Golden Army, that's for sure. I haven't seen it. Theo, let's see, I know how much of a fan you are of good costuming in movies. Yeah, you should probably watch that one. Yeah, I the phantom thread. Yep. Haven't seen it. Speaking of things coming from the bottom of the ocean, here's an omens important story about things coming from the bottom of the ocean. This is a story from Jelopnik. Volcanic activity in Japan is lifting abandoned ships out of the ocean. It shouldn't be doing that.

No thank you. No, thank you. So you're telling me, like ghost ships are rising from the depths? Yes. Okay. Like in the movie's ghost ship? Yeah, it's similar to...I don't think that actually... We don't want to take this as a tenth a theatenth a the theatenth a theat, like a theat, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I....... I. I, I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I. th. th. that, I'm, that, that, that, that, to. to. to. that, to. that, that, that, to. that, to. that, to. that, th. th. that, happened. We don't want to take this as a tenth time to talk about the bit from the start of Ghost Ship. No, we do have, go on Lucy.

We do have to cover this. The Ghost Ship of course covers the engostening of the ship. Yeah, that's true. It is the origin story of the ghost. This is a the origin story of the so th of these boats had a tragic cable deck. Yep. A classic slicing accident. During the evening ball.

If there were more cables, they would have been cubed like that guy in Cube. Which is where the movie gets its title from. A jaw-dropping set of photos are going viral on social media showing that volcanic activity is lifting sunken World War II vessels from the depths of the ocean. In August an underwater volcano called Fukutoku Okinawa in the Ogosawara Islands, located the Ogisawara islands in one of the Godzilla movies? No, that can't be right. I'm probably making that up. at the Ogizawa Islands in one of the Godzilla movies. No, that can be right. I'm probably making that up.

Located some 800 miles south of Tokyo, Japan. Wait, no, sorry. I need to start that sense again. I got distracted thinking about Godzilla. In August, an underwater volcano called Fuku Tokuoka Inaba in the Augustuara Islands located some 800 miles of Tokyo, Japan erupted. I lost my thrake tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho tho the tho tho the tho tho tho their thu. I'm thu. I'm thuo thuo thuo thuo the o' tho too too too too too. I'm too too too toa toa too too too too. I'm too. I'm toa toa toa toa toa toa toa toa toa. I I toa. I toa. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm the the the the the too. I'm the tho. I'm the toke toke toke toke too. I'm located too. I'm located tooesoeso. I'm located too. I'm, Japan erupted. I lost my threat of that sentence Ken, I'm going to ignore it. Fukutoku Okinawa's eruption caused a small island consisting of pumice and volcanic ashe to rise both the waves.

A day after the nearby Nishinoshima... Yeah, volcano erupted for the first time in a year. Japanese publication Asahi Shimbun dispatched an aircraft with reporters and Nishima? Nishina Nishina Shima. Yeah, volcano erupted for the first time in a year. Japanese publication Asahi Shimbun dispatched an aircraft with reporters and experts to see what's going on in the region and spotted the ghostly looking ships sitting on the coast of Iwojima in the process. Don't like that. Why are they ghostly looking?

They're quite pale to their their color. Like they just lost their color? These ships are all made out of cement as well, which is interesting, which is... They need more iron in them. Faroe cement. Well, I mean, they've got iron in them because they're ferro cement. That's what the ferro is. Not just the guy from the cement is heavy, so of course the boat's throat. How float. How float? How heavy float? How float boat? What float?

Shout out to a friend of the show, Chev, my friend Chev, who lives on a ferro cement boat. The ships that are circulating on social media was some believing the ships to be artifacts from the battle. Others calling them sunken battleships of the Imperial Japanese Navy, but the United States Air Force Cadena Air Base in Cadena Japan offers a different explanation. They would. Don't believe them. Don't believe they lies. No. According to the Cadena Air Base, the ships leering the coast to believe to have been scuttled in an effort to build a pier after World War II. Yeah. I wouldn't scuttle ships to build a pier. I would scuttle ships to make them disappear.

Is this thing on? I would have um, I would have tied them all together and made like a big waterworld type floating city. Yeah, yeah, it'd be pretty cool. Have everybody on your jet skis, menacing people. Doing water world stunts. Yep. Yeah. Drinking my own pissed. I mean movie world stunts. Clutch at water world. Clutching on some dirt saying, yep, that's dirt. Look, I'm working on my water world project.

I'm trying to make like a, um, remember when we had that story on the show about, uh, about like the sea steaders, who th, th build this city out on the water I'm working on a project like that you know obviously that's very difficult logistically so I've just started drinking my piss at home yeah yeah at least you can do that it's yeah it's like get that out of the way yeah start start with you know you get started today drink your piss today and you're one step closer to Waterworld. I'm always saying this. Yeah, drink your piss today and you're one step close to Waterworld. Every day you say that. That's beautiful. Give a man some piss. Yeah. Eat him for a day. Teach him to drink his own piss every day. That he'll start Waterworld.

Piss on him like a thirsty little flower. I'm glad, like, have we ever got into on this show the whole like people in their little like Facebook and Reddit groups like self-treating themselves with piss? Yep. I mean no. Sorry, I was saying yes I know that exists, not yes that we've spoken about it. I can see how that might be like wellness stuff. Medical come on now grow up. Medical piece. That'd be disgusting. I am I I'm sure I've said this on the show somewhere in the 8,000 episodes we've done but in in like late high school I was doing like IT classes and one of the classes was like,

we'll teach you how to use PowerPoint. And to do the assessment at the end, you had to do a PowerPoint on a book, and I said, yes. And so I got a, mine camp. I got a, I got a, I got a book about drinking your own piss for health benefits. I was really hoping you're going to say you got the novelization of Waterworld and I was going to ask you to send it to me. I wanted so bad. No I got a book that's about drinking urine therapy and I did a nice presentation about

that. It was called and I remember the cover. It's very easy to find, auto urine therapy. Everyone should know how to do manual urine therapy though, because you never know when you're going to need it. Yeah. So, what does you learn, Andrew, like what does this do for you? Thanks, Theo. Um, Just knowing that. So, you know, you learn, you learn all these fun facts about how, oh, there's actually all these wasted nutrients in there and everything. But if you find the right like Facebook groups, you find these people who not only use urine

in that sort of sense, like I just drink my own piss. Because people also have this thing of like, oh, your body has like cleansed it, you know that like, you know how people say actually a dog's mouth is the most sterile part of the dog. Yeah. So it's, that's, you should be putting your tongue on a dog's tongue. I think people do the same thing with piss where they're like, no actually like, you know, your piss comes out totally sterile so it's fine to drink it. But not only... It's not my understanding of piss.

Plus it's got urine in it. I'm not a scientist. Sipping a glass of piss. You're just over 98% urine. Is there urine in this? And the other 2%? Steaming hot piss. But these people do this shit where like they not only do they do the drinking it and stuff, but they like age their own piss for some reason. Like you know sitting in jars and stuff.

Like a cask like barreled piece. I think it's more like a jar on when some charaz barrels. You know, oak barrel imparts a nice flavor. So, I've got a bit of an investment going on up. His barrels. You're gonna mature. It's a lot, it's the long game, you know. You're gonna want to let it breathe when you open that barrel. Letting it breathe.

Putting it into a nice carath. But, but I've seen these Facebook posts of people where they do stuff like they go, oh I had a bit of a rash, so I put some of my nice aged piss onto my rash, you know. And there's also people who were like, oh I had this irritation in my eyes so I got some of my aged piss so I've been dropping it into my eyes. And it's always, it's always the same post which is someone going, I put all my age the thi. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th this this this th th this this th th th this th th this th th this this th this th this this this tho- tho- tho- like tho- like tho- like tho- like tho- like tho- like tho- like tho- like tho- like th th th. Yeah, that's on the game. I've been dropping it into my eyes. And it's always, it's always the same post, which is someone going, I put all my aged piss all over this ailment and it got a lot worse.

Any ideas what's happening anyone? The doctor says my rash has piss fever now. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh boy, my goodness. So, you know, yeah, what are we doing? What are we doing? When did that come up? I can't remember, but it's time for what I think might be my favorite story that I've gone

in here, and I don't want to, I hope I'm not, you know, going too early here with this one. You're not over-thinking it. It's time for us to check in on the beautiful people of America and see what's happening there. In one of our most famous segments, Andrew and I'm making sure that you know you've got to hit a thing. Yeah. America Watch. Now, this is a two-parter. First part here is a story from the Associated Press. Removing the percentage sign, ampersand sign, asterix, at sign, from mains vanity plates, will take time.

Now I might understand that that series of symbols is maybe standing in for a swear like perhaps shit or piss or cunt or fuck. Yes, so that's a that's a that's a growlix. This is a podcast. I think it's cunt. Removing the cunt from Maine's vanity plates will take time. Hmm. Removing the flipping obscen Maine's vanity plates will take time. Removing the flipping obscenities from license plates on Maine's roads and highways isn't going to happen overnight, even though a law abetting such profanities in a state where such regulation has been unusually lax goes into effect Monday. Currently, there are license plates with salty language, including F-bombs, references to anatomy and sex acts and general insults.

One license plate simply says, fuck you. That's so good. They just didn't have a law against that for some reason. Freedom, just someone, someone down at the DMV reading that form. Uh-huh. That's not against the law. There's no rule against it. Now rulemaking is getting underway to ensure the law. There's no law against it. There's no rule against it. Now, rulemaking is getting underway to ensure the law protects First Amendment rights while getting rid of obscene language. It feels like you're not protecting my First Amendment rights, actually. A majority of states have restrictions on license plate messages that are considered

profane, sexually suggestive, racist, drug-related, politically objectionable, or religiously offensive. But Maine became the quote, wild, wild, wild west of vanity license plates when the state dropped its review process in 2015. Yes, I love just getting, it's being like, fucking, no. Yeah, we've got to look at all these fucking plates every day, trying to find ones that say cunt. We sound like old cunt.

We have to review up to a dozen plates every day and we cannot keep it up. I've just realized I trimmed someone's introduction out of this article so all I've got is their last name with no context for who they are. Fuck him. Our anything goes approach was unusual, Bellows said. Not sure who you are. As a former executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Maine, Bellows understands the importance of the First Amendment protections on free speech, but she acknowledged she didn't understand the extent of quote really disturbing license plates before she was sworn in as the Secretary of State earlier this year. They have been lawsuits over the issue in other states. Last year, a federal judge ruled that California couldn't enforce a ban on vanity license plates that is

quite offensive to good taste and decency. The California law was overly broad, so states must be careful to target license plates that are profane or obscene or represent hate speech. In Maine there are about 121,000 vanity license plates on the roads in a state with about 1.3 million residents. An estimated 400 offensive plates could be subject to recall officials. If you've got the... If you've got the... There's no law about what goes on your plate.

Everyone would have something crazy, right? Why else would you get a vanity plate? If it's not going to say You would actively get one from Maine. Pissman. The piss man. Fox sucker. Fellow said, she's looking at it this way. If you can't say it on the 6 o'clock news, it shouldn't be on a license plate.

The license plate is the property of the state, she said, if you really want an offensive slogan on your car, then you can then, then, then, then, then, then, then, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu, thu, thu, thu, thu thu, thu, thu, tho, tho, thi, the thi, the the the the pf, the pfffixen, the ffixen, that all out? Yeah, that one. For now. I have compiled, courtesy of the Instagram page, Vanity underscore of underscore main. I have compiled a list of some of these vanity floats for you. Here we go. So this one is MLFWGN, that is Milf Wagon. That's not offensive. Like that's fine. That's a middle-aged baddie.

Look, I just want to say I know we said that we weren't going to look at the chat. Oh, you looked at it. I glanced at the chat before. This MF don't know what a milf is. Yep, everyone was like, this moth has never heard of a milf. That's what a middle-aged baddie is. And look, you're right. I don't, can men be middle-aged baddies? I don't think.

You really, I feel like you want to be a middle-aged bad. That's what you're an evil. Like, could I be a guy a guy a guy a guy a guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy a guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy a right, I'm going to get, oh, imagine being a guy who was like, I watched the latest Tesla event and immediately running out and getting the sneakers and the little scarf that Elon was wearing. He looks like shit. Next up we have just milfs. Are these not allowed? No, these are ones that are currently on the road. But I think some of these we'll see.

They'll have to kind of recall them and put them in the big like trash compactor where we put all their guns. Yeah. Uh, I have milf hunter. It's just MLFFNTR. I know that guy. Tits out. I have you come first. That's just nice.

That's just nice. That's just ladies. You go on to the grocery store. I assume, sorry, I need some clarity about some of these. I assume that's the letter you. Yep, come CUM. Yep. And then one ST. You come first. Fuck, that's good. It got me so good that I accidentally opened the big-o cheat sheet.com. Oh. What? I don't know, I've managed to do that with my chair swinging it around. Anyway. I have OMW2FY, which I believe is on my way to fuck your girl. Now that's just rude.

I have I love B.J. This one which was on the back of a Jeep Rubicon, B.J. Jeep. I like the bang bus. Oh, to the BJ Jeep. No fucking just sucker. I have COVID-19. That's good, yep. I have it. So sorry. COVID-69. That's the best of both worlds. Ebola.

Covid 69. That rules. Sorry, that was just one called Ebola. Ebola. They just have Ebola. So good. Uh, booty 69. I'm just, I'm just it. They just have a boul. So good. Uh, booty 69? I'm just, I'm just imagining like, uh, the person trying to get their custom plates calling

up and being like, uh... I have Ebola. How about, how about dengue fever is that taken? Right? Going down your list. Ebola? We got Ebola. Well, you did Ebola with a three instead. Like a one for the L you know we can do that. Yeah nice. Loves 69. Yes. Now you've got an opinion on this Ben.

Huge fan. You be six I B nine. Yes. Now you've got an opinion on this Ben. Huge fan. Uh, UB6, I B9. Yes. By porthub. That's nice. And the photo of the car, it is not a commercial car. This is not like a car owned by a port hub. Just somebody's car. That's committed.

I have... Uh, oh wow, that's committed. I have, uh, big peepee. Good day, which is just nice. Yeah, nice. Good day. All the Americans rushing to get that one off the road. Too buzzed? It helps you get to work on time. Which pairs very nicely with hammered. Now this one, um, yeah, okay. So it is SHTY, W-I-F, which to my eye is shitty wife.

It's shitty wife. It's shitty wife. Is she just like, I'm a shiwif. I'm a shout of it. I got you some plates. There you go, Dahl. I got you the custom plates you wanted. Shitty wife. Shitty Life. I got you the custom plates you wanted. Shity Wife, shitty life. I've got H3NT 41.

It's of course, Hentai, spelled out of Leedspe. Oh no. It's not Lucy's car? No. What do you mean by that? What do you mean when you say things about me? I don't love weird animated porn. Why you always looking at it? It's got to be 3D. I love weird animated porn so much, you're nasty little freak. I don't love weird animated porn.

Why are you always looking at it? It's got to be 3D. It's on the porn hubbads. You got to use a regular porn and it shows you that stuff. Well, it shows you that stuff because of your footprint on the internet. GTA poop. Which I think is maybe got a poop, but maybe G things that I have but I don't want you to be confused what I'm saying here poop again so it's poop and then AGN

then I have poop with three o's uh that I have poop with three o's uh huh okay that's a serious poop then I have poop with four o's going down my list poop with two o's no? That's that's a good that's a that that tho tho poop that's th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the poop, th, tho, the poop, the poop, the poop, the poop, tho, the poop, th, the poop, tho, tho, tho, the th, poop, th tho, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, th, th, th, th-p, the the poop, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, the the tho, tho, tho, th, thp, th, th, that's a that's a that's a poop, that's a poop, that's a poop, that's a poop, that's a poop, that's a poop, tho, tho, tho, my list, poop with two o's? No? I've got poop with three o's. That's taken. I got farting. Instead of shinn'

I've got farts with a Z. I have shard. I have shard. Ass boss. It's a different kind of cake boss, you know. Now, this next one I'm just going to read in one block, so let me just do five in a row here, because they're all slightly different. So I've got eat ass, all letters. I have I eat arse, but the S's of fives.

I have I eat arse and the s is of fives but the E is a three. I've got just eat ass but the S is of fives and that I have eat arse at the first day as a four. Everybody coming in for that ass eating license plate. Necessity is the mother of all invention. Coming in with my clipboard with 600 variants of eat-ass in LeetSpeak. I didn't find 2,000 ways not to spell out eat-ass. Wait, no, I fucked that up. Never mind. I'm abandoning that joke.

I have L-84 A&L, which is of course late for anal. Like you gotta drive fast because you're late for anal? Sorry officer. I really, really like the ones that work in the context of the car. That makes it very special. You gotta make a car gag. Like light for anal. That's nice. I like that. I have suck my dick. S-U-K-M-Y-D-K. Yeah. A classic. I have pussy but the S is a fives. I have penis but the E as a three. I have penis. I have a penis. Oh, okay. Directing

our rage outward. I have HVY, FLO, heavy flow. I have HVY, FLO. Havey flow. I have X Amish. I have X Amish. I have X Amish. I have a rat bitch. Oh. That's really good.

I love that. I have rat bitch. I have rat bitch. Oh, look. Oh. I'm gay. That's just a fact. Factual license plates.

Power bottom. It's P.W.R. BTM. spelled the same way as the now cancelled queer alt rock duo? Like late for anal following a speeding power bottom down the road. Pussy Doctor. I hope that's a gynecologist that would be really funny. Or it's just a guy who, you know, like, the horse whisperer. The Pussy Doctor. I hope that's a gynecologist that would be really funny. More is just a guy who, you know, like the horse whisperer, the Pussy Doctor. Imagine if the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer gets the ass man plates, the license plate

was just Pussy Doctor. I got rubbing one. That's a bad thing. thing while he's grabbing. You shouldn't do that. No. I have rub one out. Yep. Oh, the number one I assume? Yeah.

Beautiful. How many letters can you go on the place? No. No. No. It's legal. No. I have beans.

But the ass is a five. That's somehow the dirtiest one of all. Oh, God. Eggy boy. Then I have this one. M-S-U-S-S-U-Sun. Oh. Oh. Yep. Yeah, not sure what the go is there. M-S-U-S-U-SUN, Miss You Son. Oh-

Yep. Yeah, not sure what the go is there. Yeah, Moth Man. Yes. Dork lover. Oh, There is hope for. You know. Yeah. Yeah, in pain.

God. I just love the like absolutely psychotic energy of so many of these. Yeah. And thenthen this last one Fuck head FECK, H-E-D, fuck head Oh That's nice. Yeah, oh, thank you so much Ben. Oh, I was sitting at the scratch. I was like three hours scrolling through them, but I was just like crying. So good. Oh, heavy-float. I think it's the one that intrigs me the scratch you say for like three hours scrolling through them but I was just like crying. So good. Heavy flow.

What a beautiful place that you would have. I think it's the one that intrigues me the most. Heavy flow on your license plate or a late for anal. Late for anal. Yeah, really, really out does Hemingway there. I would die to interview the person who has like trail. I would love to. What was the thought process? How did they arrive?

You know? There's a point where you think this is really funny and then eventually you have to drive that car to like the doctors. Do a funeral. Showing up to your job interview. Luckily it's been up to your job interview. Oh, that's not my over for speeding though. Luckily, it says some kind of emergency. It's going for an interview, but it turns out it's at the anal factory.

Now, just a little update here. We, now, I'm going to go out to him and say, we have, we have successfully beaten the previous record. We have beaten the record we didn't make a lot of pomp about it because we're humble. Make a big deal. Previous record Ben believes to be one hour 36 minutes 29 seconds. That right is the previous record. What are we at? We must be toward the end. And this is not including the lost 15 minutes, the fuck up 15 minutes at the start. They'll be back in there, right? Yeah, yeah.

Well, even, all right, so the stream. 7 p.m. start. The stream began two hours and 59 minutes ago. Now there were a couple of minutes there of, a couple of minutes there of figuring out some stuff while we had our little holding screen going and then we got into it, you know, maybe a minute or two. So I am pretty sure that by the time we do one more segment, we are going to be over. Are we free? Will we be free? Obligated episode length of three hours and four minutes that we are currently at. Unless we get some more donations before that time.

If you have been holding out live studio audience to punish us with your donations. Jeffrey Bezos. Just as we're a big fan. Jesse B. If you're listening. Just as we were about to let our sleepiest soldiers go to bed. I feel like it's Theo and then me. Who's the least sleepy on this podcast? I feel like it's Andrew. I drink so much caffeine today. Yeah. It's actually good for you. You know that? The more you drink, the better it is for you. I have it. The better you feel. If the the the the the you. If you. If you. If you. If you. If you. If you. If the the the the the you. If you, th. If you, the you. If you, the you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you're you, if you're th. If you're you, if you're you, if you're you, if you're you, if you're you, if you're the the the the the the th. If you're the th. If you're the the th. If you're th. If you're the th. If you're th. If you're th. If you're the th. If you're th. If you're the the the the the the th. If you're th. If you're the the the th. If you're the thi. If you're the thi. If you're thi. If you're thi. thi. If you're thi. the thi. thi. the the thi. If you're th actually good for you, you know that? The more you drink, the better it is for you. I have it. The better you feel. Yeah. That's true. I was, I was so, um, so stoked when a little while ago I like went to a new doctor and were like, hey, let's get your blood test, just see what your deal is. And I was like, oh, here it comes. No one's ever shown an interest before and I didn't have to know about what I was doing to my body, you know.

Oh, I'm showing an interest in your life, just you know, not in your blood work. Sorry, by that I mean now that I am old enough to die, yeah. I've actually been like a real grown-up. I've been just like going to the same doctor instead of, because I'm like at the sort of age where it's it's relevant for someone to know your medical history I think whereas for a big stretch of my life it's just like I have the flu and I need a certificate to not go to work today and that's it and you just go into your like your bulk bill clinic and someone comes in and says whatever, whatever, the thing. And you're like, hey, you're like, the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi's thi's thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's like, the the, the, the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the is the is like, the any painkillers? Like, I've got like a sore back as a while. And that's the thing, like, like,

It's stressed out too, so if you get some, that's, that's the thing. Doctors will not give you, like, pain pills unless you ask for them when you go in. And they'll say no, the first the first, the first, the first, the first, the yeah, this doctor... Yeah, usually otherwise you gotta beg your, you gotta beg your wife for the... On stream. Oh man, she gave me the wrong one. That was a bad time. So, yeah, I was like, oh boy, here comes the insanely high cholesterol count.

Here comes, you know, all the things that I've been doing to my body all these years with my many indulgences. And then it came back and she was like, everything's great. Which to me is just complete validation of my hideous lifestyle. And- Plus you've grown a tail with a little hand on it. That's exactly what you need. That little hand will be so thiola. Oh yeah. It's a perfect hand. I've never seen a hand so perfect. What is now? So that's why I can say that I believe it's a medically endorsed position to drink like eight cups of coffee and three coax in a day, you know? If you are the

TGA, go pay attention to what, uh, fucking what's his name? Guy Sunn's his balls. Pete Evans, yeah Evans here don't don't pay attention to us our health advice is different we're not the bad ones yeah this is a satire and this was you know I help the advice is here for funny purposes have we just received some donations it looks that I have not not no no no not not enough to make it too much more than like several more minutes so I think if we if we keep it going let's go let's get a a a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to to to the to the to the to to the the to the to the the the the the to to the to the to to to to to to to to to the to the the to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the their the their they. I I their toe. I toe. I toe. I their to minutes. So I think if we keep it going, let's keep it going, let's get another segment or two out there and we'll check back in with the donation, see how we're going, but I think

we could very much be nearing the end. Unbelievable. They said it could never happen. So, getting that billboard. On that basis. I mean, we're already getting the billboards more, the bill getting more billboards. We can finally afford that one billboard. So Ben is there anything particularly you would like to pick for us to move on to next or you're going to keep on truckin'. They're in the desired order right now. Order

of interest. Yes. Okay. Well, in that case, we'll turn in the car around, and we're going straight on back to Nature Corner. Country Roads, take me home to the place. I belong. We'll take a sown. Nature Corner. Rubbercraft. I'm a long, who takes some, nature corner, rubber crab, sniffed my dear. This comes to us from the South Florida Sun Sentinel. This problem is oh so South Florida. Where else would you find iguanas

popping up in commodes? The fifth level of hell. So be ready sinners. The sun's been out more lately, the weather's getting nice and so I've been going on my walks looking for birds and one of the spots that I go to recently that has lots of big flat rocks around and there's been lots of big scaly boys lying out there in the sun. Lots of big lizards, lots of water dragons and stuff like that. And they're very cool. A lot of water dragons. Very cool to look at, a lot of cool colors. Some of them kind of like stripy on the legs and stuff like that. Very cool and I like to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their. to their their their their their their their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. thooesklipklip. toylip. toyl. toyl. toyl. toyl. toyl. toyl. toyl. thea thiil. their their their the like that. Um, very cool and I like to look at them and I like to take my pictures of them. Don't want a single one of them in my toilet. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, not really.

When I look at them, I don't think, you know where you would fit in real nice? Me pissing on there. I've got a toilet their toilet you would fucking love. Look I'm in home with me. Porcelain and Fred. You're gonna love it. It's so cool in there. Lizards like that, right? The invasive reptiles that have plagued homeowners for years have been appearing in toilet bowls across Hollywood.

Ah, City of Stars. Yeah. These might be different Hollywood. The City of Stars. Yeah. These might be different Hollywood. I think. Nope. Nope. The other one copied off this one.

And most recently and predictably, providing quite a scare. It's Halloween, spooky season. It's basically the same thing every time, said Blake Wilkins, co-owner of redline iguana removal. Come on. That's not a job. He's that one that's going to do it.

You're going to leave them in there? Come on now. Oh, I'm like imagining that he has some sort of rivalry with another local iguana removal place. The one other iguana removal place. He's got the good SEO when you search a best iguana removal. Comes right up there. So Blake says it's basically the same thing every time. Someone goes to use the bathroom and they find something greeting them in the toilet bowl. What do you think could be the variations from this?

Like, could be, could be Golem the disgusting little creature? Have you ever seen something in your toilet? No, no, like what I mean is this, is he saying that basically the only place in which people find iguanas is in the turlet? Maybe. That old chestnut. It's your classic iguana toilet situation. I think what he's saying is when people call him up and say, hey, redline iguana removal, I've got an iguana in my toilet bowl, can you come and receive, like, remove it?

It's a sanction every time. There's no variation on it. Yeah. They've never like reached in and put like lipstick on one of the iguanas to make it like nice with it. It's basically the same every time. I go to the house and I gently lift the iguana out of the toilet. They've gone in there and he's put the little hats on them, like from the start of Holy Mountain. And then they all get killed. It's actually really nasty. The start of Holy Mountain, very strange. The Mexican spiny-tailed iguanas are providing steady work for trappers such as Wilkin

and Harold Rondon, owner of Iguana lifestyles, based in North Miami Beach. So he makes little couches for the igatars, I think, Harold. Those little sun hats that go on. When he's not busy fighting Godzilla, Ronden sounds kind of like Rodan. Look, I know he lives... It's for charity. I know he lives that iguana lifestyle, but I don't approve. This is the rival Iguana dealership.hip. It's crazy, Rondon said. Spiny-tailed iguanas,

which are found in toilets more frequently than the green iguanas that are perceived as the most troublesome because of the damage they can cause with their burrowing to homes and landscapes. I used to never be able to find them, but if I go to Hollywood, that's all I find. So he's going around like going around houses, knocking on doors. Hey, can I just look in all of your toilets just in case there's a lizard in there? You might have an iguana in there. A lot of people don't know they've got an iguana in the toilet until I come and have a look. Like those are the vacuum salesmen that pretend to spill something on your carpet. Yeah. He says, hey, I've got to use your toilet.

Oh, there's an iguana in here. It's either that or he says, hey, it's Mr. Rondan from iguana lifestyles here. I need to like you there could be an iguana in your toilet and he goes in and locks the door 45 minutes later he comes out. No iguana. Could see anything. Tucking his shirt back in. Mm-hmm. He said he usually knows when a customer has an iguana in the toilet because they will phone multiple times consecutively desperate to get a voice on the other end of the call. I feel like I'd probably make a few phone calls.

Like if there was an iguana in my toilet, and then I googled iguana toilet removal, I found their business. I would probably be desperate to get them over. You want to. If I was running in a gna, if, if, if, if, if, if, the, the, thia, thua, if, thua, if, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, thi, I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, I'd, thi, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, th.. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tho. to. to. to. tho. I'd, thi. I'd, I'd, I'd, I business, I'd answer on the first ring. I would too, you know, you can't be that busy. That's right, yeah. Yeah. I really like that this guy. Apparently they are.

So what this guy is basically saying is, like, getting an iguana out of the house is one of the top ten reasons that people call Ray's iguana removal. Rondon said that for a while he was getting 10 calls a day to remove the spiny-tailed creatures from toilets. But he said now he is asked to prevent the reptiles from even getting into the balls in the first place. Oh, you want to put me out of a job? I need you to iguana proof this home. How the fuck does that work?

Okay, well let's find out. Let's read on. That's what I've been doing the last week or two weeks, like non-stop, he said. It's going around. They're doing like the zombie apocalypse, boards over the windows. Yeah. Yeah. The iguanas usually get into homes through the bathroom vents on the roof.

Rundon and Wilkins covered the vents with wire mesh so iguanas can't enter. Wilkins said in Hollywood Hills, that's where the big sign is, there are a lot of big old trees. Iguana's love trees. Hey, who doesn't? You can't blame him. Who walks outside and says, fuck? Ugh. Fuck this tree. Yuck! Just disgusting.

Walk a little further down the block. Oh, another one! Ah! It's here every day. Iquinas love trees and the older trees with their hanging branches make it easy for the iguanas to get on rooftops. Once they're up there, Ron that says they might smell water or get curious, they might lean in the vent and who knows they fall in. Or it could be two iguanas up there and one of them knock the other one in. This is pretty wild speculation here. I mean, he keeps going. So many things could have happened. A bird or a falcon could have tried to get them. It's so true. Stop offering possible

explanations for it. I'm just willing to understand that maybe there are things that make them fall over. You don't have to be like, well, maybe a very loud car went past and they were startled and they fell backwards through the chimney.. the chimney chimney. the chimney the chimney. the chimney. the chimney. the chimney. the chimney. the ch ch ch ch-o the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to. te. te. te. te. So, te. So, te. So, te. So, te. So, too. So, thi. So, thi. startled and they fell backwards through the chimney. Maybe one of the iguanas dared one of the other iguanas to jump in the toilet. We don't know. We don't know. I think you're really telling this guy how to do his job. You know? We're coming down on the iguanas.

Like, how many iguanas have you removed from the toilets? We're doing a little too much talking and a little not enough to pulling iguanas out of toilets? Yeah. You ever delizzit a toilet before? I don't think so. I don't think of one thing they could grip on to. Ronnan said, once the iguana falls into it, there's no way for them to to to to to to to their to their their their thing that could grip on to, especially if I've got that big tail with a hand on the end of it. Oh boy, I know what you're going to be dreaming about tonight.

I want to go to bed. I want to hear another one. I think the solution to this problem, right, is that what you do is you get your, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to, you, you, you, you, you, to to to to to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, to climb, to climb, to climb, to climb, to climb, their, their, their, their, their, their, to their, to hear another one. I think the solution to this problem, right, is that what you do is you get your porcelain toilet bowl, but ideally you want like a ribbed or a studded texture in the porcelain for any rogue iguanas to climb out of. I don't think you want to texture inside a toilet bottle. As sort of like a little, a little like a metal bar for accessibility. I think you want that so the iguanas can get out. Yes, there is a minor side effect that it's basically like shitting through a cheese grader.

But, you know, what's more important, the safety of apparently the hundreds of thousands of iguanas having fist fights and knocking each other through roof vents. Or do you want to clean toilet? You know? Like, and even if they get out of the toilet balls. And that's where this rod comes in. They can't climb out of the toilet balls. Yeah.

Yeah. . Trap has either removed the iguans with a long Weirdly that part they can do. They can open doors. They can't climb out of toilet balls. Trappers either remove the iguanas with a long rod that has a circular rope or metal clamp at the end. Or they grab them by hand and use brute force. Yeah. Wilkins joked, it's not the cleanest grab. The reptiles are then destroyed.

The last line of this story is that they do not just chuck them outside. They like nuke the reptiles. They kill them. The reptiles are then destroyed, not relocated. Thank you. Did you do anything wrong? For letting us know that they throw these iguanas covered in piss into an incinerator. Big barrel of them into that big trash compacted with the teeth that kind of goes like, rah, rah, ruh, eats the barrel first.

They just, one by one. Take him back to the shop and put him down the garbage disposal in the sink. You know? In the iguana bin. If you dig a little hole in your backyard and bury the iguana, by the time you get the next iguana, there'll be room. It'll live a deep post. You basically, like what you really need is a very big toilet out the back. We've established they cannot escape. Yep. Kind of a sad note at the end of that story for... And that's a podcast. I mean that is

quite a sad is the end of the podcast. Like we did it. We've well and truly done it? Oh no we haven't. Someone just donated another grand. No they didn't. Yeah they did. You can't do that. Oh, that's not legal. It wasn't fucking Dave, was it? It's not coming off my thing, yeah, but we're at 19,000 now. It says. Theo, can you put it into deep blue? I'm so, I'm so sorry to the person. We're already over time. We're just donated a,000, but it was a waste, it was complete waste. Oh, we're still under that. We're still under that. Yeah. Fuck you.

Yeah. Two more billboards for us. We love you. Yeah. Actually, another thing. No, I think we're... What do we go up three hours and 14. We are well and three hours at 16, sorry. Isn't there egg on your face? I mean thank you so much

for that thousand dollars to a very helpful committee organization. But it does mean that we're we are 721 dollars short of this goal that we have admittedly increased five times now but but I God, we're so close. Would imagine... Who's up for doing maybe one more story? One to two more stories. Oh, I'm absolutely logging off. Oh, wow.

You do not care. I will donate the money in order for me to go to bed. That is truly heinous. Wow we. Are we are we going to let to to to to let going to let going to let going to let going to let going to let going to let going to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the the. the. to to to let to let to let for me to go to bed. That is truly heinous. Wowie, are we gonna let Lucy go to bed? Are we gonna keep going for another story or two? And just to see what happens. I am going literally donate money so that you must continue.

No, I think at this point, what Andrew is proposing is that people donate money so that we can stop. Yeah, I mean I we stop when we get to 20 grand and surely no one Want us to keep going at this point several people in the discord have said they're just going to sleep now, which I think is a pretty reasonable choice I agree reasonable and good choice Look it's definitely more than a thousand dollars Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's what we started with? I agree. I I I I agree. I I that's I that's I that's I that's that's that's that's that's that's reasonable. I that's reasonable. I that's reasonable. I that's reasonable. I that's reasonable. I that's reasonable. I that's a reasonable. I that's reasonable. I that's reasonable. I that's reasonable. I that's reasonable. I that's reasonable. I that's reasonable. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I's reasonable. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm reasonable. I'm. I'm that's reasonable. I'm that's reasonable. I'm that's reasonable. I'm. I'm. I that's reasonable. I that's reasonable. I that's reasonable. I that's reasonable. I that's reasonable.and dollars. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. That's what we started with. So what are we want to do? We want to call it? Gonna put a pin in it? I think we're calling it. We're calling it folks. Everybody thank you so much for for the literal hundreds of people who have watched the entirety of this stream. That's genuinely nuts. That is so many people watch this stream.

That's fucking bonkers. I do not understand that at all. Yep. And they didn't immediately just log off, which is the thing that I was expecting. Yes. Like they start watching and then go, oh this show isn't any good. Which is what you normally do with Twitch streams right is you like click on it and you go oh yeah and then you click away because you can't your attention span doesn't really. That's definitely what I do. Well can we just just before we go Ben can you just give us the recap one more time on the very good organization that are 19,000 plus dollars is going to.

Yeah absolutely so our money is going to... that's your money that's the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's th. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tension. the tension. tension. the tension. tension. the tto. Yeah, absolutely. So our money is going to... No, that's your money. At no point does it become our money? Our money? No, sorry, it's your donation. I'm very sleepy at this point. The money that everyone has donated so, so fucking generously, is going to an organization in Victoria called Flat Out Inc.

So they do community work with women, trans women, gender diverse people who are dealing with the castral system. They, like, the homeless women, sorry, my brain is fried at this point. They help people get legal representation. They help people, you know, get referrals for like rentals, representation, that kind of thing. They will help people with some of the things you need to get back on your feet once you are out of prison, like getting newer phone and clothes and shoes and all that sort of stuff, and particularly like gender affirming clothes for people as the coming out. Yes, I just want to back back back back back the to back their to their to their to their to their their their their to their their their to to their their th. th. to th. th. to to th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I'm, to, th. I'm, to, to, the. I'm the. I'm to thean. I'm thean. I'm tean. I'm tean. I'm tean. I'm tean. I'm the to backtrack to say I didn't mean to list women and trans women as if those

are separate categories, but just to sort of stress that this is not some turf shit. That they provide a broad range of support and that specifically I've been talking to the organizer of Beyond Bricks and Bars, which is specifically about trans women and gender diverse people dealing. It's a sort of smaller project happening within Flat Out Beyond Bricks and Bars. You can Google that and check it out and the money that is being donated is going specifically towards that project, which I think it's so far before it's not had about 80 grand raised for it. So I think we have added, you guys have added a significant junk to it which is fucking fantastic yeah I am honestly just so fucking I am thrilled this is so fucking lovely thank you guys for sticking around for this thing that is so stupid yeah you're amazing the billboard is real The billboard is real and all of the money is going towards it.

I cannot stress this enough. The no money is going towards the billboard. Although it's taking us a really long time to organize it because. There'll be a billboard that we have paid for. Like I, the first time we spoke to the woman that is, we're buying the bill bill bill bill bill bill bill bill stay up until like three in the morning because she's really slow at reply to emails but our time zones are really different. And now I've had to go to bed at a reasonable time, so we've only been able to exchange one email a night. But we, there is going to be a billboard in Yon City, Mississippi, but no money from this is going towards it, we're paying for it with our own money. Because it's a good bit.

Because it's funny. It's a funny thing to do. But because of that stupid thing, you guys manage to raise about 20 grand. And the fundraise will be out. that. I think it's like 30 days before it goes off. I don't know. I set it up, I feel like I should know that. Billboards are practiced after all. But so if you're listening to this, there'll be a link in the description of the episode.

You can also just go to Buntavista.com, slash donate. And if it's still there, you can donate as well, and that would be so, so lovely of you. It is going to a very good cause, and it is not going to us. We literally have no mechanism via which we could touch the money, which, because we're all fucking idiots, is the smart way to do things. Absolutely. Thank you for everybody who's stuck in with us this long. Thank you if you are a regular listener and you listen to one podcast's worth of material and said that'll that's. worth of material and said that'll do. Thank you for still sticking in with us. Thank you to all of our subscribers. Thank you to everybody who watched the

stream. Thank you to everybody who donated. You are all lovely lovely people. And we will see you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. you