Boonta Vista - EPISODE 229: I'd Like To Speak To The Hamager

Episode Date: December 16, 2021

This week: A woman who hired a Grinch but was not prepared to be Grinched, swarms of praying mantises ruining Christmas, a truly insufferable restaurant concept, a mysterious river of beer in Hawaii, and an unexpected and altogether strange Lead Pipe. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to Buntavista, episode 229. And here we are in Santa's workshop. Just over here we have one naughty little Elfie. He's wearing one of those little bell hats with a merry tone that so pleases Father Christmas. He's opening and reading from a pile of letters. Everything misspelled, cursing classroom after classroom of idiot children. He's throwing all the letters in the fire as he reads the words, Dear Santa, can I please have bored ape NFTs? Theo, what is it about NFTs that so capture the minds of children who have a completely

flat back of the head? Sorry, that's not funny. They have a medical condition. It is severely debilitating to their ability to think about things and, um, that's why they like stupid little pictures of apes that cost $400,000 a thing that children have. Just got to row back slightly as well. I don't like the tone of this segment. I know.

I'm the current. I'm so. But I'm interested to see where it goes. Wow. Anyway, I hope these kids are miserable. They're not getting what they want. Down the production line. There's there's there's there's there's there's there's the the the the the the the the the th. There's th. There's the. There's the. There's the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tho- tho- tho- thi tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho-a tho-a tho-a tho-a thi tho-a thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I tha tha tha thi-s. I's tho' tho' tho' tho' tho-s. thooooo-s. thooooo-s. thooooo-s. thoooo-s. thoo-s. tho- miserable, they're not getting what they want. Down the production line, there's one sexy, sultry migs in a red velvet dress, leaving very little to the imagination. Bent over her lap is Geoffrey Bezos, and she's spanking

his bare butt, trying to teach him the true meaning of Christmas. Mrs. Ben, what is the true meaning of Christmas? I have so many questions to really just get the context of this correct. So in this I'm a sort of Mrs. Claus figure but my name has remained the same. Well I didn't know how to like I don't know how to say like put your name in. Am I still Santa's wife? That I was directing this at him. You're still Santa's wife. Right. How did Jeff Jeff B. Jeff Bezos come here on... So this is Santa's workshop but it's also like a hell of sorts. Okay, right. Sorry I should have picked up on that and it was implied, I assume.

Right. Yeah. The true meaning of Christmas. of Christmas is that you should tell your employees not to have their phones on them while they're at work and then they might miss emergency tornado alerts. Well, people have got to get their packages. For Christmas, for the kids. Yeah. Otherwise, Christmas is cancelled. That's right.

I read an update on that, the story we did recently about the guy who threw a bunch of packages into a ravine, because I just didn't want to deliver them. Yeah. Really throw on the book of that guy. I don't agree with them. You know, I don't give a shit about your packages. Fuck your packages. Who cares? You bought some shit off Amazon? Fuck you.

Straight from the mouth of the sexy Mrs. Ben. Fuck your packages. Yeah. I said that in such a sexy way. Look at these huge Christmas. He jugs. I'm doing the knees and everything. Like a real pro.

The knee pit. Don't talk to your wife that way. I don't know. And there's Santa himself. Andrew, the big dog. Oh, oh, oh. Andrew to his friends. Santa, what are all the kids crazy about this year? I don't know, like it's it's tricky.

I've been trying to come up with new toy innovations because I want another one of those Christmases like with the hoverboards, you know? Remember the hoverboards and you could just like search Twitter and just find like 6,000 posts that said, Dad had to go on the hoverboard. That's very funny in the next tweet is. It is it it it is ti it is ti it is ti it is try it's try it's try it's took trying, it's trying, it's took trying, I trying, I took trying, I's trying, I'd trying, I'd t said, dad had to go on the hoverboard. That's very funny in the next tweet is taking dad to the emergency room. Everyone recalls the uncle killer 5,000. Taking, taking dad to the hospital for his exploded wrist. I don't think I remember this.

Oh, it was an amazing time. You know the stupid hover boards, the little two wheels, the little flat platform, they don't hover. Up top, yeah. They roll because they are a bewield item. Right. And but it's like the, you know, a little tiny, close to the ground version of like a segue where you make it go by like leaning forward.

Yeah, you make it stop a little the little the little leaning back and if you put a middle-aged person on to them they lean forward a bit and then they go way too fast and then they lean back and it just shoots out from under them and they do a little little sensor in the way they go oh wait a second work to the eagles I'm gonna send the flying out of a second story window and they get a they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their their they have have have have they have they have they have they have they have they have they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their th thy thy thy thy they they thy they they they they they they they they they they they works of the Eagles. I'm going to send them flying out of a second story window. Engage crazy mode. Engage crazy mode. They also like caught fire and exploded a to today as well because people were making like cheap knockoffs of them that were weirdly volatile.

And back then we could have made a Samsung note joke about that. What was the galaxies that were exploding? Samsung Galaxy note 7 I believe. Is that how they were powering those hoverboards? Yeah. The Samsung Galaxy note 7 must have been inside those hoverboards. That name just rolls off the time. Also that one Dell laptop that had the exploding problem as well. Everyone remember that? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Check it out, um,the time. Also that one Dell laptop that had the exploding problem as well everyone remember that? Check it out whatever time that was from but whatever object I'm talking about. So to answer your question I'm really I have been slaving away in here along with my actual slaves the elves. Yeah. Please don't call me that. It's like a... Don't make me put

you over Mrs. Ben's knee again. It's a sex slave situation but like a not one of those ones it's a crime but like a it's a kink thing. Yeah. All I'm saying is you had to spend like 20 days of November getting your bottom painted bright pink, getting your back porch painted red by Mrs. Ben. Yeah. And you don't want to be back there so soon. You don't want to be back there so soon. And then in January I go in the hole. Some sweet piece.

A month of dark silence. Sweet relief until it all starts up again. A month of a month of dark silence. Sweet relief until it all starts up again. Just thinking about chilling out in my hole. What do you plan you do for the next 10 months? Oh, elf hole. Elf hole, yeah, elf hole probably. Almost to be elf hole.

Boxing day, I'm out there. Ho ho ho! Great job this year, everybody. Time to open the hole. Start pulling on one of those. Yeah, one of those big pulleys, hole floors opening up like a bond villain's lair. Joyful cries from the elves as they tumble in. Oh, it's a beautiful thing.

So yeah, I'm just trying to invent something really that's going to equal that wave of like uncle wrist destruction of those glory days, you know? And back to the days of say lawn darts and such. Big sharp objects you're going to throw into the sky and then look up for, you know? You do really want it specifically to be something that's essentially for the children but will injure the parents. Like lawn darts kids will fuck themselves up with. You want something that involves the phrase oh let your uncle Ken have a go on that. Yeah and then you want something where

Christmas lunch, Christmas lunch Uncle Kev is in maybe four and he has a look at he's like oh I reckon I could, yeah. Keep him that Keva go. He's had two tallies of Cooper's best extra stout and he's ready to try a beat Saber and that he's punched the hole in your 60-inch TV. Do um, like, so do other- Uncle's? Do other countries have uncles? Uncles? Not the Australian says the word, I don't think they do, no. Yeah. It's just like that sting song to the Russians love their uncles too.

Do the Russians fear their uncles too? Oh, so like, Australia, I think, of a bit of a drinking on Christmas Day culture, right? Yeah. A bit of a, that's, that's the deal for a lot of families out there. It's like Christmas morning, have your presents, have your breakfast, have your breakfast, and then you open a beer at roughly 10 a.m. Yeah. You've gone into the garage at 7.30 in the morning and you've opened the first of four cases of Coopers.

Yeah. Although if it's Christmas Day you might have lashed out and got the crownies. Yeah, you got crowned. You got one of the two. It's not good. It wouldn't be Christmas without the crownies. Wouldn't be Christmas without that shiny gold label and that's how you know it's good. That's right. And someone got a bottle of Chivas-one of one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one the the the their their their. their. their the crownies. Wouldn't be Christmas without that shiny gold label and that's how you know it's good. That's right. And someone got a bottle of Chivas Regal which is the fanciest whiskey you can get. That's true, it's the best one. Oh it's Christmas time in Australia. Yeah, I do wonder, like I get the sense that Americans get drunk more for maybe like Thanksgiving so you can shout more, more like forcefully at your family. Yeah, I think that's what the problem is.

That sounds like the family yelling holiday in America. They love that one so much. Yeah. They love yelling. Yeah, get ready to yell at your family. The pandemics, we can travel again. Time to see your family again. Arm yourself with the appropriate argument facts. But I'm wondering what is what is the British Christmas Day culture? Are they getting on the pints early?

Well what they don't have... It's got to be miserable. Because my family's British, we don't really have Christmas Day. It's all Christmas Eve dinner. I don't know if that's not even Christmas. But there's definitely alcohol involved. I I their their th. I I I I their their their th. I their their th. I their th. I th. It's their th. It's their th. It's their their their their their th. It's th. It's th. It's their their th. It's th. It's th. It's their their their their their their their their their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their the dinner. I don't know if that's a common one. But there's definitely alcohol involved. I'm a huge proponent of a Christmas Eve dinner. That's the most magical night of the year. As far as I'm fucking- I agree. I agree. Very interesting. Like Christmas Day, you're just ready for it to all be over? Oh no, Christmas Day is like exactly the same, but it's in the daytime. So you have a magical evening with a couple of roasts, Christmas Eve, you get very drunk, you fall asleep watching your $9.99 JV Hi-Fi, Blu-Fi, B-Fi Blyray copy of Die Hard Hard, and then you wake up the next day and at 7.30, you go into the extra fridge in the garage and then you start drinking heavily. And then you eat one leftover, yeah, cold roast sandwich every half hour for the next 18 hours. Yeah, that's it's th it. And that's just gonna lead you straight into the boxing day test.

Yep. Yeah. And you've been like somewhere in between a perfect state of wakefulness and sleep. Am I awake? Am I dreaming? Did I just dream? Getting a overboard? No idea.

How did this beer get in my hand? I have no idea? Did I that I that I hand? I have no idea. Did I astral project into the garage? No idea. I feel like your recliners never get, never get used like they do on Christmas Day afternoon, around 2.30. Yeah. Those, that footrest is getting flicked up like slightly too fast. One of the most horizontal days of the year. This thing actually goes back, you know. Oh, it's about 15 degrees of arc that I never knew that this chair had. My neighbor's just got a big motorized recliner couch.

Oh, fancy. Yeah. Like you're friends with your neighbors, which is how you know this. It's not like you've been peeped through the windows. You hear it. What's everyone in the podcast? Stop reciting, I'm recording my podcast. Yeah they are they're just watching TV and they hear a muffled. Is that a new couch? Then a frantic scrambling as I realize I've said it out loud. Oh, they're in their crawl space. So look if you are a listener of the the the the the the the the this the show. the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thiol-I's thiol-I's thiol-I's thiol- thiolidding. What's is everyone. What's is everyone. What's is. What's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's thin. It's thin. It's thin. It's thin. It's the th. It's the the th. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like the th. It's like. It's like. It's like.? In their crawl space. In the room. So, um, look, if you are a listener of this show and you are British, let me start off by saying I do not approve.

Fuck you. And I'm sorry for your loss. You know, it's a lottery where you're born on this earth. And you're fucked up. Unless you're one of those many Australians. Australians who moved to England? Very odd. My family moved to get away from there. Well you know you can leave. Yep. My tricks. So if you are a British person who also celebrates Christmas feel free to write into mail bag of Boothvisa.com let us know what's the deal? What are you guys getting up to over there?

Yeah, what are you eating? How early do you... You got a boiled tur deal? What are you guys getting up to over there? Yeah, what are you eating? How early do you? You got a boiled turkey? You got a boiled sausage. When you crack into the figs, the boiled figs. They have the, they have like the British fire department over there doing those demonstrations. Don't lower your turkey into the water too fast or you might get scalded. It's a a the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tucled tucled tuce. tuce. tuil. turkey into the water too fast or you might get scalded. It's a big bathtub.

Oh boy, right in the mail bag at Puntavis.com let us know what you deal is. How early are you opening the big tin of kippers on Christmas morning? You know? Do you leave some kippers out for Santa the night before? What temperature is that beer? We're talking 25, we're talking 28. Yeah, 26, anything in the 25 to 28 degree range. Yeah, including. Anything approaching body warmth. Yeah. When you're having Christmas and you want to like, you know,

you want to make it fancy, I make it a bit special. And I find a great British way to do that is to have like a Bain Marie over the heat with the tray just full of beer and a ladle in it so you can get it yourself, you know? Some wet eggs in there. There's nothing like seeing the waft of steam coming off the big pan of hot beer on Christmas Day in England. So I guess short of getting that kind of information, the only thing that we can do is continue to glean our vague understanding of the Brits.

Speculate wildly. Speculate wildly and we have to try and absorb aspects of the British psyche that are available to us through the media. That of course leads us to the segment. Tabloid phenomenon. Can I say as a treaty, turn around it. This headed man destroys church. Keep my noise phenomenon. There you go. Can I say as an alternate segue there?

Mm-hmm. If you'll allow it. Well, I think ideally what you're waiting for approval. I was literally waiting for you to approve it, yes. Ideally, like, if we could have both segues and then maybe you could just cut two alternate versions of the episode together. Maybe A, B, test them with the audience. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, the porn hub approach. Yeah, but let's here it it it it thue. Well, thue. Well, thue. Well, thue. Well, thue. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Well, I thi. Well, I thi. I thi. I I thi. I I thi. Well, I I I thi. Well, I I I I th. Well, I I th. Well, I th. Well, I. Well, I. Well, I. Well, th. Well, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. them with the audience. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, the pawnhub approach. Yeah, but let's hear it. Uh, well, much like plants do with photosynthesis,

we will have to absorb what we need from the sun. This is of course the tabloid newspaper. The sun. Yeah. Beautiful. Now, uh, so- That's one to just just chew on at home. That's a little, that's a thinker. You'll get that one tomorrow.

People with, uh, people with like the, the pictures up on the wall, the pieces of string running between the pins. What, what did he mean? It's crashing your car on the M3 because you've just suddenly figured it out and dazzled you. So yeah, we like to delve into the British tabloids and figure out what kind of freak shit is going on over there at the moment. So as Ben said in a beautiful ultimate segue. Oh, thank you so much. This is from the sun.

I spent 85 pounds on a Grinch visit only for him to trash me out and pour a bottle of juice on my son. I would like to note the juice is all caps. Yeah, that's the similar to the daily mail house style where one word is capitalized for emphasis. Beautiful. Bottle of juice on my son. A bottle of juice! So I think we'll continue to do this in our now familiar style. A mum was furious after paying 85 pounds

for a quote, grinch and quote experience that left her house totally trashed. Laura McGill said she was, quote, disgusted by the experience after the, quote, Grinch, smashed eggs on her floor covering the kitchen tiles in fairy liquid, and poured, all caps, juice on her son. I'm still yet to see the problem. Yep, so far so good what you paid for. Yep, you bought tickets to the Grinch show. Hey lady, the Grinch is pretty fucked up. Let me explain it to you. He's a who who hates Christmas. It doesn't get any crazier than that. Don't invite him into your home. Yeah, I, uh, I hired someone with a fucking white-hot hatred of Christmas to come around

to my house and celebrate it with me. On Christmas. And he didn't seem like he was into it. How else can I explain this to you? Um, picture a guy who hates things that are good and loves things that are bad. You paid him to come into your home. Are you crazy? Are you fucking crazy? I paid the Joker to come around, but I wasn't laughing, you know? Mmm. Absurd. He was, though.

He really is the crown prince of Christmas crime. Oh. The Grinch? That's true. He could well be. As far as we know, the Joker could be... Have it checked the records yet. Yep. Look, in fairness, I'm sure that there are approximately 800 issues of Batman comics which feature the Joker getting up to shit at Christmas time. That's true, yeah. I can tell you now, without looking into it any further than that. So, um, Lucy has had to step away briefly, but she's back now and I want her to know.

What do you want me to know? What do you want me to know? That we're talking about British people who hired a Grinch who came around and then started fucking up their house, smashing eggs on the floor and pouring dish soap everywhere. Ah, that's so good. What did He's the Grinch. Half the Nansen. She wrote on Facebook, quote, So, paid 85 pounds for Grinch visit, advertises the Grinch to come in, mess the kids' bed, have pillow fights, put toilet roll around Christmas tree, and pictures at the end.

Laura goes on. Versus what I got. Every single bit of party food, expensive cupcakes thrown all over the floor tree decorations broke fairy liquid poured on my kitchen floor eggs smashed a full bottle of juice poured over my floor and sun now interestingly Laura has chosen to capitalize the word sun and not the word juice so she's at odds with the Sun editorial team on that one. Hmm. She's seen the style guide.

Kids new ones he ruined. Highly do not recommend. That's a weird phrasing. What'd you say, 85 pounds? That's right. Which is like 700. That's a... I'm not sure about the phrasing for that as a review. It comes highly not recommended. I really do not recommend it from me personally. Emailed and complained, no reply. Yeah, it's because he got the email at Grinch headquarters and everybody read it and said good job Mr. Grinch. Yeah, yeah, it's because he got the email at Grinch Headquarters and everybody read it

and said, good job Mr. Grinch. Yeah, here's a promotion. You're a great Grinch. On Mount, um, fuck. What's he? Anyone? No. No.

No. Oh, the mountain he lives on, right. Yeah. I thought you were suggesting a world in which, uh, the Grinch their own Mount Rushmore style monument to the best Grinch. Well the Grinch would be probably. He'd be one of the four for sure. He'd be top four, definitely. All right, well I'll leave you to do a bit of research, think that over, where the Grinch lives. Yeah, you know. Is there any islands on little Stainteaaaa sa sa sa tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha thiia thiolinin's on little St. James?

Laura continues, the Grinch definitely came and stole Christmas. You're welcome. You got what you paid for. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. You ordered a Christmas theft. Unbelievable. Fucking order an elf then, you know.

to their thooo's if you want a little bitch to come to your house, you know? If you want a little cuck, Grinch to come, don't get the real Grinch. That's what you calling your son not pouring juice on his fucking... That's visual. Like, what do you reckon the sun? He's like, a guy just cuddling your son? He's like, a guy just gonna cut some the fucking thin. I need to work. the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their to to to to to to to to to to th. th. to to to to to the to to crige. If to cgrinch. If to cgrinch. If to cgrinch. If to cgrinch. If to cgrinch. If to cgrinch. Yeah, don't, to cgr. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the. the the. the the. Yeah, the the thin. Yeah, the. Yeah, the thin. Yeah, the. Yeah, thin. Yeah, You little shit, come over here. I need to know how old this sun is. Like, 24. See a baby? God I wish that there was a video of this, honestly. I imagine.

85 pounds, that's a pricey grinch. It's not your budget grinch. Yeah, how much you guys usually getting grinch. I that's actually the standard union rate for a budget grinch, you're serious. How about you guys usually getting grinches for... I think that's actually the standard union rate for a working grinch. I'll say this, I'll say this. You get what you pay for, you know? Like you cut corners on your grinch

and you'll always be disappointed. Oh yeah, that's so true. 85 pounds on your son and break some eggs and smash some cutcakes. You pay 200 pounds for a gritch, he'll total your car. I'll have sex with your wife. He'll take your dog down to dog fights. Put child pornography on your brother's computer. That guy doesn't care. Ideally you want the cheapest Grinch you can find because he will ruin the least things.

Yeah. Really limits the impact. But then- But then- But then it's like, you know. But then it's like, you know, are you even having the Grinch experience? No. No. No. Laura also said the experience advertised pictures with the Grinch experience? And I would say no. No. Laura also said the experience advertised pictures with the kids, but she kicked the Grinch out before they could snap any pictures as she was fuming.

Oh, she was fuming. She were fuming. I left the restaurant before they bought dessert out and now I'm complaining I didn't have dessert. That's a you problem. Ridiculous. Laura's a new problem. Yeah. Ridiculous. Laura's delicious looking spread. Oh, it's a bit personal. Come on.

Come on. All right, so they invented the language. Oh, Laura's... They've completely lost their control of it. Laura's... This spread sounds like shit. It does. It sounds insane out there. Hurry up and read the spread so I can make fun of our shit it sounds.

Laura's delicious looking spread featured cookies, grinch, cupcakes, crisps, dips, and all manner of other delicious treats to have been that have been smeared across her spotless living room floor. They're fucking Savoy's and dips have fallen over, oh no. Like I love a crisp and a dip as much as, possibly more than most people, but to be like, yeah, chips, and all manner of other delicious treats, you've really... You haven't got... That means you've named the best best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the-s, theaseaseared treateared treateared treateared. treats, treats, treats, treates, treeed treeed treateared. treats, treats, treats, treats, treats, treatheared. treatheared. treatheared, treatheared, treatheared, treatheared, treatheared, treatheared, treatheared, treats, treats, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, treats, treats, treats, treats, treats, treats, treats, treats, treats, treats, manner of other delicious treats, you've really... Yeah, you haven't got... That means you've named the best ones already.

What else have you got? Some dried apricots? Fuck off. Not in Britain, they can't get those in print anymore because of Brexit. They have to... Well, we've got a sail to Morocco for those. Now... Yes.

I had some French onion dip, like packet dip the other day. That was good. I haven't thus to fucking love French onion dip. Yeah, good stuff. God damn. One of the classics. Yeah, I also fuck with the corn relish. I was about to say I'm a corn relish guy.

Not for me. Love a corn relish. Love it. Yeah. Interesting. I didn't realize there was a corn relish divide on this podcast. Oh, right. It falls along the usual lines.

How do you feel about it, Ben? I am under the age of 75. All right. I don't need to be rude. What's the softest biscuit you have? I need it for my corn relish dip. Can I have your softest biscuit and your most pastoral dip is? I'm hearing that we share a podcast with some people with immature palettes. That's what I'm hearing. Yeah, corn relish dip is an acquired taste for a refined sensibility. Yeah I want that pink dip that if I put it on any of my clothes I have to throw out my

entire outfit. Oh that's a good one yeah. Be true dip dip you got your beetroot dip you got your tear musclelata. The pink one what then is the pink one? No one's ever bought it's the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thirty thirty thirty the thrue the thrue thrue the the the the the the the the thrue at thrue at the thriot is th th the th the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the is the is thi. trie is tip. trie. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. the. The pink one. No one's ever bought it. No idea. What appears to be green icing from the cupcakes is smooched into the wooden floor with so dramatic. Crumbling biscuits and crisps. Wipe it up. Get a paper towel. Oh, just get out your dustbuster and immediately clog it full of all of this shit. A pink feather boa, silver tray and what appears to be a rogue Christmas decoration also join the chaos.

That rules. Get off the Grinch's case. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. If I can relax, you know. Yeah, he did what he was asked to. He did. You paid the right price, you got a great Grinch.

We support workers. Yeah. I'm telling anyone who will listen, the Grinch understood the assignment. Oh. Oh. So true. Oh, there's one kind of egg you've got to worry about in Britain, and that's the one in your fridge that the grinch that you have hired will come in and smash on your kitchen floor. Smash on your son's head. Yeah.

Well, he'll wash it out with the juice. You'll be lucky if he doesn't put up his asshole. Wild thing about the grinch is he will keep eye contact as he puts the entire the entire the entire the entire the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the to to the the to. the the the the the thokeke. thoke. thoke. thokehine. thokehineaughe toe. thi. thoomorrow. toe. toe. that. that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. thiolk. thi. thi. thi. thikeh. thikekekekeh. thikekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekeke. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeeeeeeeeea. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeanananann. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi will keep eye contact as he puts the entire unbroken egg up into his arsoll and then a slight clenching and it'll break inside him. It's wild that he has the control. He has the control to do that. He went to one of those like 100-year-old French Grinch schools. A collet de Grinch. A collier de Grinch. Imagine if they all came out with like, um,

specialties, like all the French chefs. I only smash eggs. That's the one thing I do perfectly. I only don't smash eggs when I put them up in my butt hole and then retrieve them. Are you tired of paying nothing for the same old superior quality free episodes of the Buntavista podcast? Do you want less politics and more content about diarrhea, our animals gone wild? You're tired of skipping through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg Film Shooter? Boy, do I have the offer of a lifetime for you. That's right, for just five US dollars a month,

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for it. That's my promise to you. But there is a whole other kind of egg to worry about if you live on Turf Island. This comes to us from the Manchester Evening News. Small lump on your Christmas tree could contain all capitals, hundreds of insect eggs. What? What? On my Christmas tree? It's more likely than you think. Time of year?

Yeah, we need to get that looked at. Look at my small lump full of insect eggs. If it starts to change color relatively quickly, you should definitely go get your sack of insect eggs. As soon as it starts moving independently, I think. All Brits who have her real Christmas in their home. A bit fucking rude. Uh-huh, right off the bat. Kind of a minute of a word there, maybe.

Yeah. Have been issued a chilling warning. Small lumps on trees could contain hundreds of insect eggs. I mean it's a tree. The sounds of the audience here. If you spot a walnut-sized cluster on your Christmas spruce... A bit personal again. People with penises, check your balls.

Yeah. Then you may need to dispose of it hastily. A tree owner who spotted one of the clumped eggs in his tree took to facebook to warn Fellow Britsitsitsitsitsits to to to to to the to to their to their their their toenenenen their their toen toen their their toen toen toen toen toen toen toen toen toen toen, to warn to warn of it hastily. A tree owner who spotted one of the clumped eggs in his tree took to Facebook to warn fellow Brits that 100 to 200 praying mantis could be inside. Oh hell yes. That's so many. Hell yes. What number would have made you say, oh that's not that bad? Ten? 15? It's a lot of praying mantis. This egg could contain up to seven prey mantis. Posting on Facebook Daniel wrote if you happen to see a walnut size slash shaped egg mass on your Christmas tree don't fret clip the branch

put in your garden. These are 100 to 200 praying manus eggs. He's talking shit. Daniel's fucking shitting shit on Facebook. I can tell you that much. How do you know? He's just said, oh, there's a lump. It was easy, bloody easy, an entomologist? Did you crack it up and count them all? Did you count them all? Did you count them? Do you count all of them? Do you count the entire, everything, everything, everything, everything, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thian, thian, th. Daniel, th. Daniel, th. Daniel, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Daniel, th. D, th. D, th. Daniel, th. Daniel, th. Daniel, th. Daniel, th. Daniel, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Daniels, thi. Daniels, thi. Daniels, thi. Daniels, to thi. Daniels, thi. Daniels, thi. Daniels, thi. Daniels, thi. Daniels,'re not told what his job is we are told that he is a tree owner owner. That's it's a tree owner Daniel that's what they would put under his name if this was on TV you know Daniel Daniel tree owns a tree. The post has since garnered over 16,000 likes and been shared. That's not that we've done this before, that's not that many.

Oh, but it's been shared 186,000 times. Bad like ratio on that one though. Yeah. Shares to likes. They don't want to be seen liking the thing. Yeah, you don't want to like it. I love Princess mantises. 16,000 freaks who were... This is good news for me.

16,000 freaks who were looking for 100 to 200 praying mantises of their own. Licking their lips. Half my lank. Tremendous. Yeah, sorry, where did you put that branch? When you met? what's up? Although it may be easy to dismiss the advice, just closing my laptop, just walking away. Plenty of people left comments to say the same had happened to them.

One person replied, We had a tree with one nin, and we didn't know until they hatched. They were everywhere. A second person admitted as though it was like an illicit secret they had been hiding for the last several years. Oh my insect ball, yes. You got me. Every time I go to confession at church, I think I'm going to tell them about the insect ball and then I don't.

They won't even let you take away the insect ball anymore, uh, BCA, what with the correctness gone, man? The fire department won't let you point a can of hairspray at it with a lighter. A second person admitted, that shit happened to me a few years ago, was crazy, went to my in-laws house came back to a bunch of little bugs found out they were praying Mantises that is crazy I agree with that person yeah, but also new roommates you know Yeah, and it sounds like they're Anglican as well so Big prayer is good fit specific to yeah the Queen invented it. Yeah, thinks very cool of her. Specific to...

Yeah, the Queen invented it. Yeah, it was very cool of her. Thanks, the Queen. RIP. I remember when she died a couple weeks ago now. That woman has been dead for a long time. She's entering a new phase though, next year. That phase is decomposition.

Or that phase is body composed entirely of praying mantises. Doesn't she have to do some sort of like Christmas speech? You reckon they're working on a deep fake queen? They've skipped all that shit. They've just been like she is not doing any events for the rest of the year. I found a lump on the middead queen's corpse, a prodded it. Thousands of praying marg praying masses came out. Full of tiny little Prince Charles's, they were. Gross. That's gross, okay? Don't say that.

Some of them even dug into my son's skin. Luckily, a Gridge poured juice over the acidity of the juice to care of the problem. What's worse is the zoologist Dr. Gavin Sfenseen from the acidity of the juice to care of the problem. What's worse is the zoologist Dr. Gavin Sfenson from the Cleveland Museum of Natural History confirmed warm temperatures in your lounge could accelerate the time needed for eggs to hatch. Fuck you, Dr. Gavin Svenson. You think I don't want them to hatch? You think I'm a coward? Eh, ridiculous. What? I see him. I see him. I see him. I see him.

I see him. Wow, that's all pointed him. It's all pointed him. Hey, there he is. God, I wish you could hear this. Matching socks in shorts much, bitch. I'm dressed for his job at the Grinch. That's a scratch. Oh. Well, there is a solution. Luckily, you just need to cut the branch off the tree and deposit it outside away from the house.

This will cause the mantis to starve and die. Not sure, that's fair? You know? Yeah, it seems just kind of... Yeah, I don't know. It's great. They were here first. They were on your Christmas tree before you took the tree inside.

You took a tree before you took the tree into your house. Yeah you took the tree inside and then you took a tree indoors. Hey there's outside stuff on my inside tree, idiots. You absolute room. Get one of those plastic Christmas trees which I know we're not meant to be buying more plastic shit or whatever but luckily you can just put that shit in a box every year and keep using it for 40 years and they do and I do and they start to smell real weird after a month. 40 bucks. Yeah, 2010. We got a more expensive one because our plastic could look more.

Look more expensive than the cheapest possible one. Yeah, because the cheapest one looked just terrible in your 12 foot vaulted ceiling lounge room. Imagine. All the leaves falling off look terrible on your parquet floors, yeah. No, the actual reason is that Eleanor bought a pink plastic Christmas tree. Oh. Yeah.

It's a friend of mine got an all-white one, which um. Going Ivanka Trump style? Which is fine. And Beck, if you're listening to this, I don't think it's bad or whatever, it's just, I know, it doesn't feel Christmassy to me. Hmm. It's thrown you off, huh? Throwing you off your game. Yeah. I think there are like plenty of the Christmasy, Christmas things that like,

kind of the movies and saw Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune for... Haven't seen it. I thought you did see it. No, we're going to go this weekend. Well, don't want to spoil anything, but there is some sand in that movie. Yeah. Uh... Dunn't tell me if there's worms or not though. Couldn't say out of the way. I wouldn't tell to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thu thu. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. Due thu thu thu. Dune thu. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. Dune. there's worms or not though. Couldn't say out of the way. I wouldn't tell you that. Yeah, and so like the thing that happens with cinemas now that I am not a fan of is that they

just have like normal sort of TV ads on before the movie, they'll do like a couple of previews or whatever, but they just have like straight up the same commercials that they show on TV before the movie now, like at like Hoyts cinemas and stuff. Oh weird. And one step weird than that is the thing that I only ever see at the movies, which is ads for social media. Like they have an ad, they have an ad, they will have an ad that is just like, you know, a 15 or a 30 second spot, and the ad is for Facebook.

Yeah, Facebook's got billboard ads and shit up as well. I see it on bustups and stuff. Yep, or they have an ad that is for Instagram. And I'm just like, are you really just trying to find the only only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only have an ad that is for Instagram. Yeah. And I'm just like, are you really just trying to find the only people on earth that just are like, oh what's this? You are trying to find Kyle who has hasn't heard of either of those things and he's out there somewhere in Australia. Trying to find Kyle. And then he's going home, firing up as 486 and his dial-up modem, trying trying, try, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, are thi, are thi, are thi, are thi, are thi, are thi, are thi, are thi, are thi, are thi, are thi, are thi, are just thi, are just the thi, are just thi, are just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just-up modem, trying to figure out what this Instagram caper is, you know? Instant Gramp, I believe, I remember seeing that they posted, so this should be it, yeah.

Uh, why did I start talk about ads at the movie? What do you reckon? I could not tell you. Very far off track at this point. Hmm. Mm. Yeah, no, there. There was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was there was there was there was there was there was there was an there was there was there was an ad. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the thi. the. I. th. th. I. I yeah, no, there was an ad for something and they had obviously just overdubbed an ad from another country with Australian accents and put it on because it was like, hey, here's people doing Christmas time stuff and it was all just like snow, people putting up lights outside in the snow and then standing outside in the snow and going, I love Christmas. Oh, there's some like Telstra ad that does that or some shit. I think it was the Telstra ad. And I don't think it's dubbed. I think it's for the people of like, the one place in Australia that gets snow sometimes.

That's just a little treat for them. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. But yes, in terms of things that make me go, no, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the people the that's for that's for that's for that's for the the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the the the people the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their that's that's not a Christmasy vibe for me because here I am sweating. Yeah, Christmas is snow on Christmas. What you're supposed to do is just sort of sit in a swampy nest of your own making. 400% humidity, 33 degrees centigrade, stuck to the recliner, making that slur noise every time you go to the fridge, get yourself a pineapple.

That's the meaning of Christmas. Speaking of the types of moisture that are coating Theo's body all throughout summer, it must be time to check in and see what sort of mystery liquids we've got going on. Mystery liquid, can't tell what color it is with a slick oily sheen. What could it mean? Mystery liquid, I see some good that is forming a pool on the floor. Who is it for? I'm gonna taste the mystery liquid.

I'm gonna taste the mystery liquid. Truly is beautiful to watch a man at 6.16 in the evening, shirtless in his office, eating a bowl of cereal and dancing to one of the themes for his own podcast. But also drinking a beer. I'm not eating cereals. Fucking. What's it? I'm not eating. 616 in the evening shirtless in his office eating a bowl of cereal and dancing to one of the themes from his own podcast. What's he eating? I'm not eating cereal as fucking curry. Is it a soup? Oh, it's curry. Oh, it's a curry. Okay, I don't know why I assumed cereal. You had a real, I'm eating cereal look about you. Yeah, becauseless in my office though. Yeah, that part wasn't made up. The conjecture was wrong.

This is a story from Hawaii News Now. Andrew is making a hell of a face at this point. Are you reading ahead? No, I'm looking at something I'm related that's upsetting me. I just had to go to Sydney for work, like just overnight. And like, uh, while I was there there there there there there there there there was there there there was there there there was there there there there there was there there there was there there th that I upsetting me. I just had to go to Sydney for work, like just overnight. And like, while I was there, I was just like, I've never, never once in all the time I've been in Sydney. Like, I used to go there more like when I was much younger for more touristy reasons and stuff,

you know, and you'd be like, oh, this is cool. I'm in the big smoke, look there's a there's the bridge or whatever, but never was I ever like, fuck I would love to live there. And that was all just reinforced for me again like driving to and from the airport where you're like, no thank you. Oh that drive is a fucking, horrible. Train's not bad though. The train train's not bad though. Except it costs you $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ 40 $ 40 $ 40 $ 40 $ 40 $ 40 $ 40 $ 40 $ 40 $ 40 $40 $40.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00 that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the train train train train train train train train train train that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. th. th. th. th. that's th. that's th. th. th. that's all thrown thrown thrown thrain thrown thrain thrown throoooooooooooo thrain thrown thrown thrown the th. The train tour from the airport is except it costs you $40 to hop off at that station. I mean the Brisbane fucking... Yeah, but at least it's a length of... It's a different length of track. That's true, it is a special track.

Special track. Just for us. A friend of the show, Phoebe Paradise. Muah.. I love Feedby Paradise. It's just posted a screenshot of an Instagram account called Karen's Diner, Sydney. Oh, it's the one where the staff are rude to you. Great burgers and rude service. For the love of Karen, don't ask to speak to a manager. And you can go to Be more Karen.

Com to figure that out. They have a little picture here that says, um, tick the box. This year I have been naughty, not ticked, nice, not ticked, a Karen. Big red tick. Imagine being a Karen, guys. That's crazy. I don't understand. I don't get this concept in the first place, and they've somehow made it worse. Have they got a Pero boxthey got like a P-O box so I can send some stuff too? Like, I don't have a second to add pressure?

Like, there's another photo of like one of those... Wait, no, that would go to the P-O box, sorry, I want to take that back. I don't want you to borrow from post office. There's another photo they have like one of those signs, the cheap signs, like, the, the the the the the thapapapapape, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thops, thops, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, that you slide the letters into to make make a little inspirational message and says don't bother asking but like if this year you've been naughty nice or a Karen do you like is it do the people going there want to be a Karen or is everybody there that's bad you get to be a Karen back I think the idea is that, what? Oh, it's, sorry, I'll explain.

It's sort of a concept called forced fun. Now imagine you work in HR for a large company and you're there 40 hours a week and you do nothing else, except you get really fucked up drunk on Friday nights with some people that you work with that you kind of hate. And then you spend the rest of the time re-watching the American office and parks and rec alternating. So your life is empty. You have no thoughts of your own, no emotions that you really experience other than boredom,

apathy and occasionally rage. So to break you out of that, you go to these novelty, hospitality places where you get to go and order like a whatever the fuck these people eat and then you'd be a Karen and they're a Karen back to you and that's forced fun. That's a fun that you can have to try and pretend that your life isn't a fucking void of nothing. Can you just go in there and like call them a dumb cunt is that like what the parameters here? Hey I'm fucking your husband. You come in, you come in and they say, do you have a reservation? You say, fuck you.

I don't need a reservation. Fuck you, you start your smashing an eggs on the floor. I've got my reservation right here. Where is your son? Slapping a pipe in my hand. All right, here's a bit more information. This will be the most fun you've had eating burgers ever. I'd pipe in my hand. All right, here's a bit more information. This will be the most fun you've had eating burgers ever.

You know, Theo, how you love to be shouted at by a woman? I mean, sure. But yes, but that's generally in a different context and that's. OK, for complete fairness and for having all the information context, how tall are they? Are they holographic? Are they 60 foot th? OK? OK? OK? OK? OK? OK? OK? OK? OK? OK? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? the the th? th? th? the th? th? th? th? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? the thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi? I? thi? I? I? I? thi? I? I? I? thi? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? thi? thi? tip? I? tip? tip? tip? tipe? tipe? tipe? tipe? tipe? tipe? tipe? tipe? tipe? tipe? tipe? tiped? information context. How tall are they? Are they holographic? And are they 60 foot tall? How many of them? Do they all look like the big lady from Resident Evil 7 or whatever? About Cairns? Cairns is an interactive diner. I'm sliding the gun barrel into my mouth.

Yeah. All diners are interactive. We just eat the food. You go with your friends and you don't talk to anyone else but your friends. You say, hey Matt, yeah, I'm doing good thanks. Hey, I'll just, I'll get the cheeseburger and a beer, cheers. Thank you. And that's the interaction thatoday. Love it. They're fucking lovely. It's an interactive diner and an absurdly fun experience. At Karans, you will be greeted and waited upon by rude waiters who in return are expecting for you to give it full Karen.

A place where you can complain until the cows come home because we literally don't care. You can expect good food, good fun and a dining experience like you've never had before. Let us know if it's your birthday if your name is Karen and for the love of Karen don't ask to speak to the manager. But it does also say ask to speak to the manager we dare you so I can't tell what they want to happen. It's a Karen that's 30 foot tall. Oh so you're in their their their their their their their their their th. So you're th. th. Oh so you're th. Oh so you're in th. I th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, tho tho tho tho tho' thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. their thi. their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thin thi. thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin to speak to the manager, we dare you. So I can't tell what they want to happen. It's a super Karen that's 30 foot tall. Oh, so you're in luck there. And Ben, you're 100% right. The people put this together, the fine people over at Viral Ventures. Technology fueled hospitality. This is what the show is now for the rest of the evening. There are the pop up th th up th up th up th up th up th up th up th up th up th up thu thu thu the thu thu the thu thu thu thu their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to speak. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thu. I. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the the the. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. the. the. the rest of the evening. There are other pop-up brands, Hot Tub Cinema Club, Ball Pit Party.

Oh, the Ball Pit one. I bet that place smells so good. The Alice, which is, I think, just a bar that is Alice in Wonderland themed. Yeah. I think this is all an elaborate way to get out of having to actually like do service and make good food if like everything you bring out is dog shit and someone goes I'd like to complain they go oh oh ring the complaining alarm. You're like no I'm serious it's inedable.

Put your put your complaint on a on a little puck and slide it down to the other end of the whatever the fuck that is alleyway or whatever because you're at Sliders the curling bar. Oh my god. I think we touched on this both on the episode of this podcast that Fever Paradise was on and also the episode of Fever Paradise's podcast that I was on that like a really good sort of out there crazy idea for like a really good sort of out there crazy idea for like a virally successful hospitality venture is to just have a bar or a restaurant or a cafe that's quite good. Like the every like the staff are good to

what they do and it's a nice atmosphere and it's cool to be and the food tasks good. No, that's hard. What if we made it, um, solo themed? Does anyone like these? Go in and get your tongue cut off. There was a tinsel themed bar that opened in either South Bank or South Brisbane. Yeah, I remember that. The photos were fucking Depression. Yeah, we talked about that, didn't we? Oh, that one makes sense because it's just set up for people to take Instagram pictures. It's literally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. There. Does. Does. Does. Does. Does. Does. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the the the the the the the the the talked about that, didn't we? That one makes sense, because it's just set up for people to take Instagram pictures. It was literally, yeah. Hey, can I, can I just do like a one to two minute insanity round here? Just real quick?

Oh, as long as it's only one to two minutes. All right, so I'm gonna give to you the menu of Karen's dining. Oh, they didn't seem names. They're names aren't they? Here we go. Names the burgers. The basic Karen. Karen's American cousin. The I want to see the manager Karen.

The fiery Karen. Karen's got real beef. Royal Karen. Karen's best breast. Deep fried Karen. Country Karen. The vegan Karen. Keran's. country Karen, the vegan Karen, October Fest, Karen.

Then we move on to beverages, Karen's thick shakes, Karen's cold tinnies and bottles, Karen's signature cocktails, the spicy Karen, the City Karen, Karen after dark, the CEO Karen, the Nutty Karen, the 90s Karen, the sour Karen, the tropical Karen, Karen's melons, the passionate Karen, Karen's shooters, and these are named, the music is too loud........... I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to, I. to, I. to, I. th, I. th, th, th. th, ons, the passionate Karen, Karen's shooters, and these are named, The music is too loud. I've been waiting 10 minutes for some service. You've just lost my business and the potty Karen. Okay, at least until the last one, which is very confusing. At least the shots were called like a thing. Yeah, they made jokes. There was a joke there. Very uncreative. A copyrighter got paid a hundred thousand dollars a year to write this. I can

tell you that much. Literally just naming every burger and every cocktail the Karen. Yeah. And with a qualifying statement. Have a ham sandwich called I want to speak to the hammager. Put something in there. do something. The country one they could have spelled it cunt you know. Yeah that I mean that's a bit strong but yeah they the kind of. The cut. Oh boy well it's also inconsistent Karen's Chiroiroz Ice Cream Sunday, Karen's Waffle, but then the sides are like loaded cheesy beef brisket fries. Why don't all these places have like American-style food?

Like all novelty places have like waffle fries. It's the food trend from 10 years ago. So they're doing it now because these people, remember that thing I was saying about how the sorts of people that would go to go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the tho the the the tho tho thus thoes, the the the the thease thoes, the the the thease the thoes, their their their their their their their their, they, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they........ the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the the. the. thea. thea. thean. thean. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. thea. thea. thea. thea because these people, remember that thing I was saying about how the sorts of people that would go to this place have no internal life and no experiences and they're just sort of mindless husks repeating the same tasks over and over and over again without having any new thoughts or emotions, the people that make them are also exactly the same. Yeah right, just grow up. the is just sad. Go to a like a nice wine bar and like spend the same amount of money on a nice wine pretend to know about it. Let it breathe. Yeah so important. Don't fucking spend a fucking dumbass

tax to pay 30% more to go to a place where someone's like, hey enjoy your meal, not and then you say back, shut up your annoying bitch, and they say, sir, that is actually way out of... You're out of line that. You cannot say that. You are too rude for Karins. Please leave. What if you get there in the entire meal and experience is normal and as you're leaving, they say we hope you enjoyed your visit. Psych! You've been Cairned! You've been pranked. There are the cameras. So anyway, that's why I was making that face.

Back to Mystery Liquid News, from Hawaii News now. From Hawaii News, tomorrow. No, Hawaii News now. No future Hawaiian News. Now, Lucy, tell me if I'm pronouncing this correctly. A stream in YPO? Yeah. Smelled like beer. An investigation into a strange spill ensued. Somebody spilled their beer. That was probably it. A stream in YPO has been contaminated by runoff containing high amounts of drinking alcohol.

Oh, New News now is learned. The State Health Department is now investigating the spill from a storm pipe next to the H2 freeway. The State Department of Transportation, which owns the pipe, told the D.O.H. that the spill too the pipe, told the s s s-tip. Hey, stop fucking around my pipe. told the D.O.H. that's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. to. t too. t toda. toda. t toda. t toda. toda. toda. toda. t toda. toda. t t t t t t t t told the DOH that the spill came from paradise beverages, which owns a warehouse across the freeway from the spill site. Earlier this week, the storm drain, located on the diamond head side of the H2 near Ka'uka Boulevard, gushed out the contaminated water, even though it hasn't rained for days. The water flows into a creek that empties over a cliff into a gulch about a hundred feet down.

A hiker who took photos of the runoff last week said the whole area reeked of beer. The other day we came here, you would think it was a beer pub that hadn't opened its doors for three or four days, said environmental activist Carol Cox. Classic beer pub. That's so beer pub. Hey, Ken down to the beer pub, do you guys want anything? I'll have a beer. I'm not sure if they got that. Hawaii News now tested a sample of water with an independent laboratory, FQ Labs, which found that as much as 1.2% of the water was alcohol.

Oh, well, is that enough to do anything for you? Well, it's about a third of a 4x gold. Sure, just have three. It's like a third of it is beer. Yeah. Or some sort of some sort of precursor to beer. By my math, 270% that is ice cold beer. The water also contains sugar about 0.04% of its content. So a delicious beer. Mmm. 0.04% of its content. So, a delicious beer. Paradise beverages, the state's largest distributor of liquor and alcoholic beverages, said it still isn't sure what's causing the spill. Could have come from anywhere.

We're all trying to find the guy who did this. That could be anyone's beer water. Underneath us? Strange, you should ask... Oh, so you followed the beer smelling water from the creek up through the pipe, across the road, and you just happen to find us. It's probably the guy behind us. It might be the dentist across the street. You don't know.

You don't know who it is. Quote, right now we've had the Department of Transportation come in with their representatives and we're dealing with them, and we've also been contact contact the the the d the d the d the d the d the d the d the d the d the d their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their've had the Department of Transportation come in with their representatives and we're dealing with them and we've also been contact by the Department of Health, said Anthony Rowe, the company's director of operations. Quote, it may be coming from us, so that's why we're working with the proper authorities. You fucking reckon? Yeah, and you're maybe. The Department of Health said the storm drain is no longer leaking polluted water. Boo. It's disturbing. It makes the the the the the the the the the th. It makes th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thii. the department thiol- thoom- thoom- the department the department the department the department the department the department the department the department the department the department the department the department the department the department. the department. the department. the department. the department. the department. the department. the department. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooooooooomoomorrow. thoooomorrow. thooo thoo thoo thoo thea. the the the the the the the the the said the storm drain is no longer leaking polluted water. It's disturbing. It makes you want to pull your hair out and I don't have much left, said Cox. That's a strange detail.

I guess maybe if he was interviewed for TV. She, she was interviewed for TV, sorry. Yeah, probably making a little joke. Doesn't really translate to the written word. Carol, I love that I could see that you are googling Carol Cox at th. th and I, and I, and I th and I th and I th and I th and I th and I th and I th. th. th. th th th th th th th the th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to th to to th th to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho tho to thou to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thorough thooooo tho tho. tho. th really translate to the written word. Carol, I love that I could see that you are googling Carol Cox at this point. Well, Carol's a man's name as well, isn't it? Is it? Yeah, I guess so. Oh, I guess any sort of name can be anyone's name.

It can be these days with bloody political correctness. That's true. Carol Cox, Cox, and he is visibly balding. All right. Okay. He wasn't lying. Well, now this joke scans for everyone. Because look, here's something you may not know. A podcast, it's an audio medium. Yeah.

Certainly true. So like, you really are relying on us for as much information as possible to interpret the jokes of Hawaiian environmental activist, Carol Cox. I'm sorry for this gendering you, Carol. And I've googled Carol Cox and I've gotten the Twitter account Head Sewer, says I'm the original and very first woman to ever have a website on the internet and I'm still going strong. First post there is a retweet coronavirus how to stay safe dogging. Okay put a little mask over your penis. Yeah. Hey um we've actually we've got an imprompt you lead pipe segment here. Can I can I hear you

with it? Yeah sure okay here we go. With a lead pipe. She's sweet and red, she's swinging lead. Gonna hit your hand, hand, yeah. Exclusive from Hawaii News Now. Environmental activist Carol Cox attacked by masked men. Oh. Environmental activist Carol Cox said he was attacked by two masked men armed with a lead pipe As he investigated illegal dumping and questioned leases in Calais. Oh no, I don't know where you're looking. Calalea loa maybe. Yeah, you've been asking too many questions around.

Bunk. Cox suffered injuries to his arm and a gash to his head. I can see this video here of somebody closing up the big fucking hole in his scalp. It was treated for bruises and a deep cut to his head at Palimomi Medical Center. The pipe hit, the pipe hit me here that the guy was wailing on, and I have an injury here on my head, about a three to four centimeter crack, said Cox. The intent was not to injure me but to actually kill me. The attack occurred around 3.30 Tuesday afternoon while Cox was sitting in his parked car. He said two men wearing hoodies and a white mask in separate cars that had missing license plates pulled up alongside him. One of them began to swing a metal pipe at him and him and him and him and him him him him him him. them. them. their their. their. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was, th. He was, th. He, he, he was, he. He. He. He was, th. He was, the the the the the the the the to, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He. He, he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He t. He t. He t. He t. He t. He pipe at him and he was hit on the head. The blow was partially blooded by Cox who used his arm to shield himself.

Cox said he was too close to the truth. He was in the area to do a follow-up investigation into illegal dumping and questionable leases on land owned by the State Department of Hawaiian Homelands. He believes the attack is linked to his inquiries. He's got to be careful with this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this. this. this. this. the the attack is linked to his inquiries. He's got to be careful with this beer stream. I'm worried. Where is this article from? I've been digging at this a long time for many years. I've never had a physical assault or threat. And this is the first time he said.

But Cox said, the incident isn't't fucking come after him. They sound powerful. I'm worried for Carol. We might have to Aaron Brokovich on his behalf. Yeah. Like get dressed up sexy. We might have to get sexy. Poor Carol. You're saying we might have to become sexy paralegals? Is that what you saying to me? Is that the what? Are you getting... That's what I took away from Aaron Brokovich. Haven't seen it.

Put your vista getting sexy for... Are you combining the plots to Erin Brokovich and Pretty Woman? No. She, no, like, um, like her using her sexy feminine wiles, I'm pretty sure that's a relevant aspect of Oh, you're, because're a sepio sexual. Yes. Okay, that makes sense. She's like, I'm going to night school.

I'm like, oh. Ooh, Aaron Brockovich, baby. What an absurd ending to this episode. Yep. Also, just, traditionallyitionally if we have deployed the lead pipe theme it means that we're about to list off things that we would like to attack with the lead pipe. So just for full clarity we do not wish harm upon Carol Cox not at all. I wish Carol hadn't been piped and I hope he's

been free from piping ever since. Yeah I have so too. Jesus Christ. I hope he's delivering delivering the piping yeah yeah yeah. If we're doing it's been through interactivism if we're doing the pipe list though I'm gonna I'm just gonna nominate spot the horrible puppy. Oh the dogs oh come on now have you been is fin into the spot books is that's he's in the spot books and a spot does not th not th not th not th not th not th not th not th not th not th not th not th not th th not th th th th th th th th th th th th no th no th th no th th th th th no th no th no th th tho th th tho tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. thi thi thi thi the thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi Finn into the spot books? Is that what's happening here? He's into the spot books and a spot does not, it does not have any respect. He's a bit badly behaved, but that's how he learns when someone hits him with a rolled-up He's not learning. He's kind of little kind. He's had so many chances in the tree and he's going.

Jingle bells, jingle bells. He's not helping. Why is that? In another one, she's erecting the tree inside. And he's tearing it down, looking for his present ahead of time. It's Christmas Eve. It's not Christmas. On the next page, he's opening the door for Carol Singers, the worst people on earth. Oh no. Not to be confused with Carol Cox. That's wonderful person on it. And Carol might sing. But that's a unrelated. Yeah. He's no good. He will not learn. He will not learn. And I think at this point his behavioral problems are an issue. Can I just, can I thi th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho th. th. th. th thi thi thi tho th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm looking thi. I'm looking thi. I'm looking tho. I'm looking tho. I'm looking tho. I'm looking tho. I'm looking tho. I'm tho. I'm looking tho. I'm th. I'm looking their th. I I think at this point his behavioral problems are an issue. Can I just can I piggyback off that and say I am adding to the lead pipe list every single subject of a Mr. Men book? Yeah all of them. Are you saying all of the Mr. Men, the title of the Mr. Men books? No, I'm saying Mr. Strong, I'm saying Mr. Silly. I'm saying Mr. Tickles. Yeah, the Mr. Tickles. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Are. the. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Men books? No, I'm saying Mr. Strong, I'm saying Mr. Silly.

I'm saying Mr. Tickles, every one of them. Every one of them, every one of them fucking get it. What about the Mrs. Men? Yeah, Mrs. Mosse. Mrs. Nossie, Mrs. Nosey, Mr. Bum has already been lead piped. That's how we got that bump. You want to know how I got this bump? Oh, Mr. Rude, you have got to go. Mr. Cool. Things out. Mr. Perfectude, you have got to go. Mr. Cool?

He's out. Mr. Perfect, not for long. The problem is... The fucking fight club your face, Brian. The problem is that, yeah, you read the Mr. Men books and you're like, number one, these are all boring and extremely, extremely badly written and everybody in them is a piece of shit. Yeah. Are they British books? Probably. Roger Hargraves got to be.

And also your kids reading this and thinking, oh, this is normal. Yeah, I should be bossy. It's normal to be a guy called Mr. Wrong who has a flower pot on his head because he fundamentally misunderstands the purpose of objects. My arms should look like that. What are the characteristics of Mr. Impossible? Who the fucks that? It's the 25th book in the Mr. Men's series about him, wonderful.

Color, purple, shape, horizontal oval, gender, male, personality, visionary, futuristic, imaginative, wise, 100 to one, hero. Uh, John, John, Elon Musk. Doing impossible things that no one else can do. He has magic powers and uses his powers to motivate people. Okay. I don't like it. He sounds like that.

Oh. He sounds like a bitch. Can I please tell you Mr. Impossible names, Mr. Impossible's name in a few different languages. Let's go. Monsieur Incredible. Uncable. Unsohue.

Unmogli. Minier unmugal. Yeah. Our un-moblig. Minier un-mogelag. Yeah? Feteer ummelig? Here Freilter. Herr Omer Gallagher. And her ummolig.

Oh, and pan demotchaic. Just, who wants to hang out with any of these motherfuckers? Mr. Worry. Oh, what a fun guy to hang out with. Mr. Fussy. Who would hang out with Mr. Wussie?? W. W. Wuss???? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. Wo? Wo? Wo? W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. F. F. Fi??? F. F. F. W. F. F. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W????? W? W? W? W. W? W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. the? Who. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. these motherfuckers? Mr. Worry. Oh, what a fun guy to hang out with. Mr. Fussy. Who would hang out with Mr. Warre. How about go see Mr. Therapist? Oh, Theo.

Mr. Mr. O'Reilly. Oh, no, I accidentally moved into a sharehouse with Mr. Lazy and Mr. thikewi. Mrs. Wroozyn, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would to to the their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their their their th. I th. I th. I to. I to. I to. I to. the to. to. to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. this. Mr. Topsy-Turvy, all over the place, Mr. Silly, seems to fill a similar role. As Mr. Wrong as well. Seems like there are a few double-ups here. And we can't confirm, of course, 100% British. Of course. Mr. Good's all right though. He's always rubbing it in everyone's face.

Mr. Good? You heard it here first, folks. Well, I believe, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. that's. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.. You heard it here first, folks. Well, I believe that's it for this episode. Thank you for stopping by. Thank you for listening. Try not to be so British if you are. You know? Sorry. Yep. And I guess the main takeaway from this episode that we really want you to just internalize is if you hired a Grinch, you're getting Grinch business. Shut the fuck up about it. Buy the Grinch ticket, take the Grinch ride. Goddam right.

See you next time. All right. See you. you