Boonta Vista - EPISODE 230: The Theo Philes IX - The Fountainhead Of Bones / As The Stump Meanders

Episode Date: December 23, 2021

It's a little Christmas treat for you before we take two weeks off for the holidays! Theo and Ben talk about the ur-text of chiropractic and a very nice tree stump. Thanks very much for listening this year, we hope your Christmas is a lovely one. *** Outro: Christmas Time Is Here - Khruangbin *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

I'm Hello, it's me Ben from this podcast, the hit Internet Podcast Bunchervista. It's me, Ben, from this podcast, the hit Internet podcast, Bunchevista. It's the end of the year. We did it. And nothing bad is happening and no bad things will happen next year. It's all over. We've put the two bad years behind us, nothing but good years from here on out. We're taking a little break because that's the sort of thing that we do around this time. We'll be back recording our regular main and bonus episodes on the sixth next year. But until such time, I'm going to be drinking some beers in a creek with my beautiful horse-sized dog. I have no idea when any other guys are going to do because frankly, I haven't asked.

I thought maybe as a little Christmas do because frankly, I haven't asked. I thought maybe it's a little Christmas treat. I'd grab you something we got, something we prepared earlier, which is like two weeks ago, Theo and I recorded a little Theophile's episode together. This is our spin-off series where we talk about little facts and little stories to tell each other and they're my favorite to do because I love Mathia very much. Have a wonderful Christmas if you do Christmas, enjoy time off work if you get time off work and have a lovely New Year's if you observe the calendar I guess. Yeah, all right.

Thanks for a lovely year. If you're one of our Patreon supporters, thanks. We appreciate a lot to have seen that this podcast makes any money, and thanks to sticking with us. And if you're not, hey, thanks for listening. There's like a hundred podcasts. Glad you chose this one. Okay, bye. Come one, come all, and gather round,

we'll tell our tales to thee. Of saints and hawes and demon cause of sights for all to see. Come ye all around the fire and listen all to see. Come ye all around the fire and listen all the while. To tales of holes and mystery. We call the Theophiles. We call the Theophiles. Do a little vamping.

Oh, you're going to vamp? Yeah, we're thinking about, the thing about vamping, maybe a little bit, do a little vamping. Oh, you're going to vamp? Yeah, we're thinking about, the thing about vamping, maybe a little bit of riffing. Yeah, but I think most of all vibing. Yeah, we should vibe if we can. We should definitely vibe. I would love to vibe with you. Oh, look, I mean, I think it's hard. It's really an opt-out situation with the thi-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-s-o-s-s-s-s- with the vibing. Yeah, I'm not opting out. Me either.

Oh, lovely. It's sort of like the prisoner dilemma, but for whether or not we're going to vibe. And also we told each other. Yeah. So it's not like. Yeah. OK. But on that note, hello and welcome. I, of course, am the guard that can only tell the truth.

A lot of people have been asking me, hey, that door behind you, is that the one that leads to freedom or is that the one that leads to death? And I say, that's actually the one that leads to freedom, which is pretty cool. And you can trust me, I'm pretty nice guy. I pay my taxes. I just, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, tho, that, that, that, the the the the the tho, the the tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, and, the, the, the, the, the that, that, that, that that that the the that that the the that that, the that, that, I'm pretty nice guy. I pay my taxes. I just sort of like, you know, it's a living. Yeah. I'm not like all in on the, you know, the kingdom's sort of carcereal system and so on and so forth. But, you know, there's only so many so many jobs. There's a, you know, peasant, guard, surf. There's a lot of people that sort of like in between. A lot of crossover between serf and peasant. Yeah.

Yeah, but it is, it is important to note though, that I am the guard that only tells the truth. And of course, with me here today is the guard that only lies. Oh, he's kind of a nasty piece of shit. No, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm there, I'm there, I'm there, there, I'm there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there. There, there, there. there. there, I there. there. there, I. there, I. there, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm there, I'm there, I'm there, I'm there, I'm there, there, I'm there, there, there's there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there, and there's a there, and there, there, I'm today is the guard that only lies. He's kind of a nasty piece of shit. No, sorry, I'm just going to stop you there. I am actually the guard that only tells the truth. Well, that doesn't sound right. And we know each other which ones, which ones we are, but this is just sort of embarrassing

in front of the prisoner. Because I'm the one... I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the one. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the. th. the. the. th. the. th. th. the. the. the. the. the the the the th. I'm the one, so yeah, no. I'm the one, okay, this is classic and I can solve this problem by asking you one very simple question. No, well the prisoner, I mean, it's usually traditional that the prisoner asks us. Well, I mean they can wait. Do you only tell lies? No, I only tell the truth. I can see where the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion the confusion. the confusion. the confusion. the confusion. the confusion. th. th. th. thi. Do thi. thioluoes. Do thi. Do. Do. Do. Do. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. this. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. thi. thi. th. tell the truth. I can see where the confusion comes from. Hang on, I can't remember what's the question you meant to ask to get out of this?

Well, I mean, that's for the prisoner to, I've never really thought that deeply about it to be perfect. And I certainly don't know the exact correct answer to that. Yeah. Are you going to say, well, which one of you the the the th you th you th you th you th you th tell th tell tell tell tell tell th th th th tell th th tell th tell tell th th tell tell the tell tell tho the tell tell thus tell the the the the thethat. Yeah. Are you going to say, well, which one of you tells the truth? Uh, and I'd say me. Yeah, and I'd say me. Yeah. Which one of he tells lies? We both say the other person? Him, yeah. I genuinely can't remember how you're meant to solve this one now. I think that's not my problem. Yeah. Personally, that's not my problem. Yeah. Yeah. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not. that's not. that's not. that's not. that's not. that's not. the the the the the the the they. the the their. the their. the the their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that's. that's. that's. that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's. that's. that's. that's above my station. As the guard who only tells lies, you don't have to think about this at all. That's right. My, sorry, stepping one back. Yeah, there we go. As the guard who's only able to tell the truth,

I've got two roles which is to encompass the entire knowledge of human experience, understanding knowledge, etc. And tell the truth based on simple questions asked to me regarding that. And two is to sort of just stand here in this room with a spear. Yeah, I mean the standing is kind of like a treat that you get to offset the fact that you do have to have some sort of objective knowledge of the entire universe. In your case, to tell people the negation of that knowledge. It's actually pretty simple for me, like very low stress, because I don't have to think

up of lies or anything like that. I just tell the truth. Whereas I can understand that your life, your life, thi, thi, thi, thi, their thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, their, thi, their, thi, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their, their their, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.eeeat, thi.eat, thi.e. thi. thi. thi. thi. their, their, their, their, their, theell the truth. You just flip it. You just put it. Whereas I can understand that your life and your job, probably not very fulfilling. Still trying to think what that question is. Yeah, no I'm the one that tells the truth and you can tell because I'm telling the truth right now. It's very straightforward. I mean look at his face. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. That's all that's all saying that's all saying. That's all saying. That's all saying. That's all saying. That's all saying. That's how that's how. That's all I's all saying. That's how. That's how that's all I's all I's all I's how that's all I's all I's all I'm saying. That's all I's all I's all I's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. That's all I's all I's all I's all I's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. That's all I's all I's all I's all I's all I's all. That's all I's all I's all I's all. That's all I's all. That's all I's all I's all. That's all. That's all. That's all. That's all. That's all. That's all. That's all. That's all. That's how. That's how. That's how. That's all. That's all. That's all. that's all. the. the. the. that's all. the. that's all. I'm s. I'm s. I'm s. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm that's all. I'm that's all. I's all. I's all. I's all. I'm that. Which one has an honest face? I like the guy on the left. But no, just in serious though, the way you can tell is the one that has the worst hair cut because he's obviously getting, he's doing the other one's hair. Yeah. Whichever one has the best truths is the liar because he's getting his truths from the truth teller. That's right. Whereas, alright, we worked that one out. Yeah, God, we're so fucking smart.

And that's why we're doing the Theophiles. This is our spin-off podcast, just for me. We are doing the Theo files. Unless we're doing something else. I mean who would say that? I know you kind of launched straight into doing the Theo files and that's kind of given me a little bit to pause because you being the one who tells lies. Well that's what the one who tells lies would say. It was surely this. Hmm.

We'll see. Did you? Okay. This is our spin-off podcast where me and my dear friend Theo, we tell each other a little interesting curio from the world of art, history, science, mathematics, things of that nature. It's a little wet treat that we place inside, just on that little shelf in your outer ear. Yep.

You can hear it like as much as you want. That's fucking disgusting. Theo, would you like to go first? Sure. The answer that question, by the way, I think you have to ask, what would, if you asked that guy, pointing to the other guy, whether or not he's standing in front of the door to freedom, what would he say? Yeah.

I think that's something like it. Yeah, I think that's it, isn't it? Yes. I did look this. I googled this first first first first first first first first first first first first first. this first. this first. this first. this first. this first. this first. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. the the to ask. to ask. to ask. to ask. to ask. to ask. to ask. to ask. to ask. to ask. to ask. to. to ask. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. like it. Yeah, I think that's it, isn't it? Yes. I did look this, I googled this first and it was the answer on stack overflow. Which is the place for all human knowledge and understanding though? That's such a cesspit. It's a, I mean, it's not a cesspit if what you're looking for is people who have solved problems on J-quiry that you are like... Bizarre, like arcane Python statements to copy and paste directly into your device of work.

And then instead of commenting your code to make it easy to understand why you've done that, you just link... You put the link in, yeah, for Stack Overflowed, yeah. And say, like, I don't really understand what's going on here, but refer to, this is a known issue. Yeah, refer to Swedish stack exchange power user, Come Pervert, who has very elegantly solved this problem in three lines of completely unreadable code. He's on the R statistical language forum on Stack Overflow, giving extremely detailed and intricate answers with references, etc. And he's also over there on the age of consent.Stack Overflow.com, kind of just busting a few

myths that you might have about, you know, just how mature a 14-year-old is, especially in the Swedish education system. Never ever look at People's stack overflow or stack exchange post histories. Just take the programming solution you're looking for and leave. Yeah, pretend that you are sort of stepping through a whole of potential universes and this answer is coming from one version of that person's potential, you know, of many universes that they may occupy. They might be over in, you know, of many universes that they may occupy. They might be over in, you know, the sci-fi stack exchange one going, you know, sucked

off by cyber penguins, question mark. Mm-hmm. Don't take, don't check. You just want to take whatever it is that they've kind of posted in response to the question from six years ago about flex boxes in CSS and move on with your life. Yeah, that's absolutely right. Yeah, fuck. I always have a question to lead mine in. I forgot the right one this time. Oh, I do like those. Hmm. No, I haven't got anything. Hey Ben, let's talk about chiropractic.

Oh, fuck yeah, dog. I would love to. So much. And I promise you, that's the correct grammatical construct. Chiropractic. I hate that so much. We need a better noun form. We should abolish it, but there should be a better chiropractic medicine, it's not medicine,

chiropractic therapy, not therapy. But I think it's nice as it is because it kind of gives you a little hint as to what's going on. Yeah. Because it's, this is the term that kind of goes all the way back to the start of chiropractic, right? Which is what I want to talk about today, right? So, you know, we understand, as hopefully most of our listeners do, it's a complete load of horse shit.

It's never been shown to be effective in a clinical trial, with possible exception, but only possible exception for back pain, you know, for which you go to a physio anyway. I haven't started going to physios like in the last the years of my life. I've never been to one. Man, just treat yourself because it's mostly, there's only like a $30 gap if you're like feeling fucked up or whatever in your joints or whatever you could just go, you go straight in there and, um, sorry my apologies, wind back. I'm of course a fucking huge idiot. I have private health care. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man, man. Man, man. Man. Man. Man, just. Man, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just. Man, just. Man, just. Man, just. Man, just. Man, just. Man, just. Man, just. Man, just. Man. Man, just. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man, man. Man. Man. Man. Man, t, t, t, man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man, th th th th th th t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t. try try try try try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. t course a fucking huge idiot. I have private health care. Yeah. I was about to be very pleasantly surprised. Instead, I am very...

I mean, I'm still having a pleasant time. Non-plussed. Yeah. Yeah. But basically, you go in there and a small man or a woman with the elbows of God will just pop every bone in your body in a very scientific way. Holy fuck that sounds good. And you walk out feeling like you've been run over by a truck driven by Mary Elizabeth Winston. Just pure of mind and body. Completely emptied of thoughts and soul. That sounds so nice. Yeah, it's good. Go to, if you, yeah, if you ever have the thought entering in your mind going, oh, I should really see a chiropractor about that. No, just replace that. Copy, you know, control H.

Change that to physio. Go see them. They actually know they've got to do some like science and stuff in uni. They know what they're talking about. But that's like I still mentioned, that's not going to be the focus of this part of my episode. But like just to define it, chiropractic is the practice of manual therapy, especially manipulation of the spine, other joints, and soft tissue. And historically there's been this belief that mechanical disorders of the spine affect general health. Right, so like if you ask a chiropractor, hey, you know, my dick doesn't work so good, I've got a wart on the bottom of my foot, and my son's not doing so

good at maths, like hop onto the table, bro. We'll pop that right out. We'll realign your C2 and then that should make your deck work again. Yes. I don't want to misrepresent. There's definitely a spectrum of practitioners going from the, you know, people who are basically doing the minimum sanest part, which is, you know, people who are basically doing the minimum sanest part, which is, you know, quote unquote,

realigning vertebrae to address back pain, all the way up to people that are like, you know, I'll fix your baby's cleft palate. I'm just going to lean on on on his back, you know, with my entire weight and pop his cervical spine out of his butt hole. And that's going to fix the cleft palette as well. But only if they can get to it in time. That's right. But yeah, so like I mentioned though, what I want to do is talk about where it all came from and it is some extremely big brain areas have you ever dived into this Ben no absolutely not oh my god oh my god such a look on your face right now I'm so

happy every time I come in like when we when we're doing on these theo files I'm like man fuck I hope he hasn't somehow picked my exact topic the exact thing that's going through my mind specifically that I want to talk about. It's a real um PNP problem yeah of I can't check if it's something that you already know about because then you'll know about it went while I've checked. Yeah it's a real if you know anything about computer sites that doesn already know about because then you'll know about it when, while I've checked. Yeah. It's a real prisoner's dilemma. And if you know anything about computer sites, that doesn't apply there, go fuck yourself. If you know anything about anything.

Do not write in. Dumbasses only. But chiropractic is not, it's not, not from the mind of a dumb ass. It's actually from a, it was proposed and preached by a massive rippling brainhavor by the name of Daniel David Palmer or D.D. for short, and in 1895, which, for the purposes of medicine is a reasonable time ago, for the purposes of general sanity and brain having is not long enough. It's not long enough for what we're about to go through. So kick it off with his core belief, right? So a sublake luxated vertebra, which is, you know, a vertebra that's in the wrong place and is pushing pressures on nerves. This is quote from him, my apologies. A subluxated vertebra is the cause of 95%

of all diseases. The other 5% is caused by displaced joints, other those of the vertebral column. Sorry, can you give me those numbers again? 95% of all diseases in your in your backbones. The other 5% in your non-backbones. Okay. So to divide the body up into spine and then other joints. Yeah. The meat, etc. All the parts that have water in them, they're not important.

Basically if it's wet, he doesn't want to know about it. Right, so, but just to double check here, 95 plus 5 percent. Yes. That's 100. You're really talking about the sum total of it. Yes, and per cent, my believe is from the Latin of the hundred. So we're at a hundred out of a hundred. 100.

And of the causes of all diseases. Yeah. If you bring me 100 diseases, you're going to come away with 95 of one answer and five of a different, very closely related other answer. Yeah, certainly, yeah. So like he's really going big or going home, right? Which I feel like is this guy's motto. And he did this practically from the beginning. I don't want to go through his whole life story, although that is pretty funny as well. What I wanted to do is just go

straight to the horse's mouth by way of his backbone and read a little from the tome of chiropractic which is appropriately entitled the Tibetan Book of the Dead. Oh yes. And specifically from its first chapter right so and you'll see why. And this is I'm gonna I'm gonna have to remind us several times through this. This is the foundational tome of chiropractic. This is the thing where it's like laying down the law of the land. Yeah, and it's, um, this is a practice that's still used today. And it's still very much used today.

Mostly covered by private health care as well. That's right. That's right. That's alternative to medicine. That's right. That's the first first th. th. th. th. th. the first the first the first th. the first th. the first th. th. the first th. the first th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thea. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the thi. It's like thi. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like the th. It's like th. It's like the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. thei. thea. thea. thea. thea. the the thei. thei. the thei. the. the. the to medicine. That's right. Yes, it's alternative to medicine. So the first chapter is entitled The Moral and Religious Duty of a chiropractor. And I swear I'm trying to edit this down. I've tried to edit it down to just the best parts. If you're interested, you can just go and Google the chiropractor and read the whole thing, of course, public.

But, yeah, I've tried to just extract the juiciest parts. And it starts thusly. The following has been sharply criticized by a few chiropractors, but not as severely, nor by as many, as was my announcement of the moving of joints by hand. A part of this criticism was based on rival jealousy, the balance because of wrong impression. So I'm going to begin with a quick shout out to the haters and losers. Yeah, a little bit of the caddy bitches are trying to get me down. And I'm going to show them really. Oh who's the insane one here with, you know, all

of this, what's coming next? Quote, that which was on account of a lack of information discontinued as soon as the would-be critics were well informed. I've received greater applause at the close of the following lecture for my classes than from any other. Every important chiropractic idea that I have advanced has been bitterly assailed yet, although somewhat discouraged at times, I have not turned from that which I knew was correct. So just just kicking off with, yeah, if you disagree with anything I'm saying you're a dumb bitch. I wouldn't be so popular if I wasn't right. Plus you're ugly. Yeah.

Quote, the Constitution of the United States declares that Congress shall make no law respecting an established religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. You may be asking why we talk about religion here. Well, law respecting an established religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. You may be asking, why are we talking about religion here? Well, we're going to spend an extremely long time discussing that. The great state of California has granted the same privilege in its medical act by declaring in Section 17, quote, nor shall this act be construed so as to discriminate against the practice of religion, unquote. It was quite mindful and generous of those who framed the California Medical Act

to coincide with the Constitution of the United States in not allowing the Medical Act to conflict with the Constitution in the United States nor interfere with the religious duty of chiropractice, a privilege already conferred upon them. It now becomes us as chiropractice to assert our religious rights. There can be no religion without science and philosophy. Chiropractic is a science and an art. The philosophy of chiropractic consists of the reasons given for the principles which

compose the science and the movements which have to do with the art. So crystal clear so far. We have to practice the religion of the art of chiropractic, which is a science and an art, and the art is the practice of chiropractic. Yes. Which is an art? And a religion.

And a science, but not a religion. No. But not a science, but more of a religion and an art. Quote, science is accepted, accumulated knowledge systematized and formulated with reference to the existence of general facts. The operation of general laws concerning one subject. Chiropractic is the name of a classified, indexed knowledge of successive sense impressions of biology, the science of life, which science I created out of principles which have existed as long as the vertebrata, which is an older kind of word for the vertebrates. So as long as there have been bones, moving them about, has been the way to sort out everything.

As long as there have been vertebrate animals on this planet, we could have fixed their problems by straightening their spine sort of, but not really. That's correct. But you may be asking at this point, okay, well, but what is, you know, all of human knowledge, belief and faith? We seem to be asking about science, etc. So I'm glad you asked to know that, because in this introduction to the clinical manual we are discussing about moving bones around to make people's feet stop hurting. They've got you covered. Oh good. So let's dive in.

Science is the knowledge of knowing. That's right. Mm-hmm. Scientific religion embraces a systematic knowledge of facts which can be verified by conscious cerebration. I believe he's talking about thinking. I believe he's talking about warming your brain up to kind of move some thoughts around. What's your conscious cerebrating about? Oh nothing. Knowledge is superior to faith and belief. Faith is an inward, so okay so we've got faith, belief, and then knowledge right on top there. Yeah. Capstone. Kicking it all.

On our beautiful pyramid of smarts. Faith is an inward acceptance of some personal act. We believe Vaughn is trustworthy, therefore we have faith. Faith is a union of belief and trust. Belief is an intellectual process. The acceptance of something as true on other grounds than personal observation and experience. Faith implies trust in a person, so I trust that you are the guard that speaks only truth. Not you, Ben. I trust that you are the guard that only lies, but...

Hypothetically, if you were speaking to a different shift, yeah. Yes. We may believe in a proposition in which no person is applied or thought of. What? I think it's talking about like if you've got a proposition about like rocks perhaps. Yeah. Or, time. Yeah. What's some other propositions that don't involve human?

So he seems to be defining belief and faith differently, but also just being like, they're just kind of like trust in a thing. Yeah. For no reason. We'll clear all that up. Knowledge is knowing. We know from personal evidence. That which may be evidence to you may not be to me. That is so true. That is. Our belief, faith and knowledge, depends on our education. Our education depends upon our environments. Art relates to something to be done. Chiropractic art consists in the aptitude of adjusting displaced vertebrae of which art I am the originator. That is one paragraph, that is the same through line of thought.

So A follows on to B, follows on to C, follows on to a small drawing of a sea horse, follows onto a tree. What? What? It follows on to the chiropractic. Art is... Relates to something to be done? Art relates to something to be done. Okay. Yeah. Whereas all the rest is just like conscious cerebration.

Oh, I see the difference. Yeah. Yeah. So I think you can basically split thoughts and beliefs and understanding and action. So all of the things that we have agency between whether or not we're moving the spine around. So I think I can probably explain this in a handy little mnemonic. So picture the human hand. Yes. On one finger you've got belief, on one finger you've got faith, your middle finger represents

science, your four finger represents art, your thumb represents conscious cerebration, and then if you sort of put all of them together, you get the Italian hand gesture. And that is chiropractic. It's so true. The practice of chiropractic includes a moral obligation and a religious duty. Now, I don't know, have you formed any thoughts around where the religion thing is going? I have not. I'm using context clues to believe that it must be some sort of Abrahamic religion, most likely. Protestant Christianity. But I'm willing to believe it might be the Baha'i faith,

because that just seems to fit this whole vibe. Well, former is definitely where like where I think this is going initially. Hmm. It's not where it ends. To comprehend these responsibilities, it is absolutely necessary that the chiropractice should be able to understand and define chiropractic science. He must know not only the basic principle upon which it is founded and the constitutional parts which form its scientific structure, but also the philosophy of the science and art of vertebral adjusting. I, I, this probably last I'm going to bring this up, but I love the, I love the continuous like juxtaposition of, you know, God is really the combination of the spirit and the sun and etc. And vis-a-vis the art of moving bones around.

This is how it applies. Because God is the consciousness of the universe interpreting itself and we are granted some aspect of that through knowledge, I'm just going twist your little arm there just real quick. Whoop. Now to absorb and digest these all important and essential ideas and make them part of one's very being requires a close study of the chiropractors adjuster. I don't, it's, those are like capital case but I don't really know what that is. Chiropractic deals, yeah, actually, oh that's true. I think you go in there, sometimes knees. Chiropractic deals with biology. It is the only

comprehensive system which answers the time-worn question, quote, what is life? I think it's something to do with the spine. It's got something to do with bones. I know that much for sure. Definitely bones are involved. Yeah. Sharks don't have souls. Yeah. Cartilaginous fish. Nothing. No bones. Just joke bones. Um, scientific chiropractors are... What a classic prank. I'm absolutely going to leave a skeleton behind. Wink! Scientific chiropractors are versed in the principles of chiropractic.

They live according to its rules. They philosophize on the art of relieving abnormal conditions by adjusting displaced bones. As educated intelligences, capital E, capital I, uh, yeah, uh-huh, they really, as educated intelligences they relieve undue pressure on nerves in order that innate, capital I, may transmit and receive impulses to and from the various parts of the body in a normal manner. Hey, is your innate transmitting normally? Now my understanding is that innate is an adjective.

Well you would understand wrong. You're fucking idiot. I don't have my doctorate in chiropractic. That's because you have to like have a formal doctor. You can get a doctorate in chiropractic. That's because you have to like have a formal call. You can get a doctor in chiropractic by the way and be called a doctor, but it's not, let's be very clear, it's not one of the two real kinds of doctors. I can be called a doctor by DJing under the name Dr. Beats. That certainly doesn't mean you should allow me to treat treat your body. Yeah. Although, it can't be any worse. They don't debate's help you out. So, they, as in educated intelligences,

capital E, capital I, desire to understand the nature of our physical existence and assign natural causes for both normal and abnormal functions. As a science, chiropractic explains local and general death to be but the result of law. A step on the road to eternal progression. That any deviation from tone, and they're talking about like spinal tone there, the basis of local and what death? Oh, sorry. No, I thought that was clear.

As a science, chiropractic explains local and general death to be but the result of law. A step on the road to eternal progression, semicolon, that any deviation from tone, the basis of chiropractic, is disease. Right, of course. So from A follows B, follows chiropractic. Yeah, from A follows B, semi-colon, Z.

Yeah, and I just want to restate again that this is the introductory chapter to a clinical manual, which also happens to be the foundational text for chiropractic practice that's still ongoing today. You can go into your Google Maps and Google Chiropractor, and there'll be a ton of them. And if they're not busy sending racist emails to Olympic athletes, they will see it. Which they are. So, yeah. I like to think about the previous texting in regards to that, but also the next paragraph. As a philosophy, it is the science of all

sciences. It deals with subjective ethical religion, the science which treats of the existence, character, and attributes of God, the all pervading universal intelligence, capital U, capital I. Its possibilities will become unlimited unlimited, the all-pervading universal intelligence, capital U, capital I. Its possibilities will become unlimited when his laws and our duties as a segmented, personified portion thereof are scientifically understood. It will lessen disease, poverty and crimes, empty our jails, penitentiaries, and insane asylums, and assist us to prepare for the existence for the existence beyond the transition called death.

It explains why all persons are not equal, mentally and physically, or, if born alike, why some become inferior or superior to others, similarly situated, why certain individuals are not able to express themselves as intelligently as others, why some persons are not mentally and physically alike at all time. So, all of that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, as others, why some persons are not mentally and physically alike at all times. So all of that, that's 95% because of your backbones and 5% some of your other bones. And I hate to keep making you backtrack, but this man loves a run-on sentence. My pleasure. The phrase portion thereof that he used, what is the context of that? What is it a portion of?

Its possibilities will become unlimited when his laws and our duties are as a segmented, personified portion thereof? Right, I thought so. Is he saying that... Of God? Yeah. Little chip off the old block and the old block being the Almighty Creator? Well we are made in his image so I guess that makes sense. Yeah. But is he suggesting that chiropractic is a method by which we could strive for complete communion with God?

Yeah, in this life and beyond. That's solving crime and getting rid of low IQ people. Yeah, so he's not actually, he's not saying that we should get rid of, well, so much as, um, cure them. Yeah, he's suggesting they shouldn't exist and it's only because the bones are wrong. Yeah, so basically you know concentrated program of visiting let's say the mid-vale school for the for the gifted and just doing some spinal adjustments. And then bingo, bongo.

That guy would use the door correctly. That's right. Chiropractic has pulled aside the curtain of ignorance which obscured the cause of disease. In time, it will lift the veil of superstition which has obstructed our vision of the great beyond. In time, spiritual existence will be known and comprehended, as that of the veil of superstition which has obstructed our vision of the great beyond. In time, spiritual existence will be known and comprehended as that of the physical world. Well, that sounds very exciting. Yeah, because of bones. And I swear to God I'm trying to edit this down.

Like, this is, but the first chapter goes for 20 pages of this, like just this beautiful, almost ad-libbed, stream of consciousness. I'm almost certain this is exactly what's written on the Dr. Brunner's labels. It's exactly this. It also gives me the vibe of that comedian who does the Donald Trump impersonations, or the big man himself, you know. It's just beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Free association. Yeah. So, but this is the, if you haven't picked a thesis statement out of this yet, I think this is where it becomes a little clearer. It is an educational, scientific, religious system. It associates its practice, belief, and knowledge with that of religion. It imparts instruction relating to both this world

and the one to come. Supreme spiritual existence can only be obtained through earthly experience. Chiropractic sheds enlightenment upon physical life and spiritual existence, the latter only being a continuation of the former. So what he's saying is that Chiropractic is the religion. It builds upon the ones that have come before, but because of the knowledge that he has received, which we'll get on to, I think, this isthe religion which will allow us to live to 400 years old and then ascend to God where he will be waiting for us and we will live at his left hand, I think.

Yeah. I think you want to be at his right hand generally. Oh shit, okay. I think you want to be at his right hand generally. Oh shit, okay. Yeah. I thought that was where his son was... his right hand man. Interesting enough, that's what Benjamin means in Hebrew is son of my right hand. It's he who is at my right hand. Oh, that's so nice. Which also actually comes back to, fuck, this is so good, because his son is actually a man, or was a man by the name of B.J. Palmer, which I understand to be Benjamin J. Palmer. That's quite wonderful.

We'll get to that as well. But I think we need to, we need to focus, because it is still about bones. It's also about a new religion being formed, a cult under one true master, etc. But he goes on, man is a dual entity composed of intelligence and matter, spirit and material, the immortal and mortal, the everlasting and the transient. That's right. The two humours. The manifestation of such an existence is intelligent, the intelligent, the the the the the everlasting and the transient. That's right. The two humors. The manifestation of such an existence is intelligent action. I thought it was art, but now it's the intelligent action.

But I'm a stupid fuck who does not know about bones. Kara practice, especially, aiding in this great advancement by adjusting the Osseous structure. So bones, really what a hammer-home that we will become unified with the divine creator of the universe. Yes. Bones. Yeah, and we and him would like to be specific in that this is no kind of metaphor. We're talking about the calcium that lives in your body. So you know how if like you give a friend like a really big bear hug and you do it in the right way, sometimes you can pop, do a couple cracks there in their spine? We know how good you feel after that. Oh my god, it's so good. There's like an involuntary giggle that comes with it. It's delightful. That's, you're actually getting them closer to unity with the Godhead, which is

pretty awesome. Well I mean a straight spine does bring you closer to God. The higher the hair, the closer to heaven, that's right. It's so true. So true. true. So true. It's so that. It's so that. It's so that. It's so that. that. that. that. that. that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so true. that's so true. that's so true. that's so true. that's so th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the thi. thi. the. the. the. the. to. the. to. to. to do that whole sentence again. We didn't actually finish a co-practice, especially at aiding in this, there's a comma at the end of this, aiding in this great advancement by the adjust, by adjusting the Osseous structure, the position of which has to do with determining normal and abnormal tension. For whatever part function is abnormally performed, tenicity is either lacking or excessive. Creative intelligence, capital C, capital I, is prevented from expressing itself normally.

So that's cool, so it's moving bones around, but it's also a religion. I think we can all at this point go on record by agreeing on that much. Ben? Yeah, you've read the collections of the Ted Chang short stories, right? I haven't. Oh man, I gotta do it. My mate Sam's also on me about that. There's sort of, there's one of his stories is about someone who's experiencing a sort of, exponential increase in their intelligence. And like, what it means as you

approach what is effectively the mind of God right which I think in the E&M Banks books he's talking about subliming in a similar sense. Yeah yeah yeah the end of her is also about that as she's getting exponentially more intelligent blah blah blah and he's suggesting that there is no ceiling to the mind of the human being. It is only being held back by your spine being wobbly. Yeah. Yeah.

That's correct. But we're going to agree then that it's about, that's bones and it's also a religion. So he goes on. Quote, I do not propose to change chiropractic, either in its science, art or philosophy, good. So, he goes on, quote, I do not propose to change chiropractic, either in its science, art, or philosophy, into a religion. Okay. The moral and religious duty of a chiropractor are not synonymous with the science, art, and philosophy of chiropractic.

Let's make it extremely tedious point. I swear to God he has said five times in the preceding sentence you've read out that you can't extract the moral obligations of the chiropractor from chiropractic. Well, you heard... And so... Yeah, okay. That is why you're going to be so wrong about that. Because there is a vast difference between a theological religion and a religious duty, between the precepts and practices of religion and that of chiropractic. A person may be a conscientious devotee of any theological creed, and yet be a strict, upright, exalted principal practitioner of chiropractic.

Kyro, Religio, chiropractic religion, the religion of chiropractic and the religious duty, all of those are proper nouns of a chiropractor, are one and the same. So, okay. But we're going to, so we're going to go into some Socratic dialogue here, so to clear, to clear this whole thing up. Because William Carver, DC, asks, do you believe it wise to denominate chiropractic as a religion? This question is equal to asking a physician, do you believe wise to denominate medicine, in brackets, not the practice, as a religion?

Webster's dictionary, latest edition date 1910, gives near the bottom of page 1801 fifth column the Latin phrase Religio Medici meaning a physician's religion. Has not a chiropractor as much right to a religion as a practitioner of medicine, is not Cairo religio is consistent and comprehensible as Religio Medici. I would say A, no. No, I think it's a pretty, yeah, straight up to that. I think as you've made clear in, this is like page 7 of the manual of moving bones around. I love that even then, they're like, Webs' dictionary defiates the practice of medicine.

So good. Quote, do you believe it wise to denominate chiropractic as a religion? To denominate is to name, designate, specify or characterize. That's right. Wherein have I expressed a desire to rename the science art and philosophy of chiropractic? In what sentence have I designated chiropractic by any other distinctive title than that by which it is now known? In which paragraph have I specified or characterized chiropractic as a religion?

I think it was the one where he was like, it's a religion. The practice of chiropractic includes a moral obligation, a religious duty. It deals with subjective ethical religion. It is an educational scientific and religious system. Those ones, I would say. Yeah, those seem like the big ones to me. The science, art and philosophy of chiropractic is one thing. The moral and religious duty of a chiropractor is a different proposition.

The founder, the fountainhead, the creator, the originator, the developer, the one who named the science art and philosophy of vertebral adjusting, says emphatically, it is not wise to denominate chiropractic by any other name or title than the one by which it is known the world over. He's talking about himself there. By the way, and that's the way of him saying, I say this. So, yeah. But instead of doing that, he says, the founder, the fountainhead, the creator, the founder the fountain head the creator the originated the developer the one who named the science art and philosophy of vertebral adjusting.

Just walking into a shop and being like, hey the fountain head would like a cheese and veg and might scroll. Who? Oh me? Sorry yeah no I would like one. And it's extremely funny to me that like he refers to himself as basically the Messiah while also dedicating massive amounts of time wheeling out like bitchy debate points to correct his haters. Yeah. Yeah. Like answering his hate mail. He's a grubby Messiah. He's not willing, he's not a he's not afraid to get down and dirty. Down in the muck yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. F W. Carlin DC writes me quote, the religion the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I. I thi. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I would. I. I. I would. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.uck, yeah. Absolutely. F.W. Carlin, D.C. writes me, quote, the religion of chiropractic is absurd.

I fully agree with Dr. Carlin. To say or think that the science, the art or philosophy of chiropractic, or that chiropractic, the three combined, has a religion, is really absurd and ridiculous. He also says, quote, all religions are more or less based upon superstition. There is nothing superstitious about chiropractic. He is right. He is so right. He's so, so, he's so funny. This guy's fucking, the most tedious piece of shit in the universe. He seems to be doing like these really weird, like, syntactic arguments where he's like,

yes, there's a religion of chiropractic, but it's not related to the practice chiropractic. But the two are inextricably chiropractic. And if you thought that is, you're a huge bitch. Yeah. It's so good. Yes, there's Cairo Religio, but also there's the art, science and philosophy of chiropractic, which is completely separate and they have nothing to do with each other. The Lord is not, the Holy Spirit is not the sun. But they are. Yeah. Et, et cetera. It it th. And th. And th. It it th. And also. It that. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The the the Holy Spirit is not the sun, but they are.

Yeah. Etc. And also, bones. Here's right, all methods of treating diseases as well as forms of religion are based upon superstition. Chiropractic as a science, as an art and the philosophy thereof, also the moral and religious duty of chiropractice are free of superstition. They're based upon the knowledge of principles and facts. So all doctors up until this point are huge dumb

bitches, just basically soothsayers reading messages in the guts of the people who are they're but they're but not me. I'm the only one you can trust. I'm the only one. I'm the only of the people who are there butchering etc. But not me. I'm the only one you can trust. I'm the only one. I'm the guard that can only speak truth. So like it goes on for this for like another 10 pages. I swear to God. Like mixing references to spines and nerves alongside implications that if you practice chiropractic for long enough, he turn into the Boltzmann brain from Futurama. So I'll close it out.

I'll finish up this chapter instead by letting him close out the chapter. Quote, by correcting these displacements of Osseous tissue, the tension frame of the nervous system, I claim that I am rendering obedience, adoration and honor to the all wise spiritual intelligence, capital case, as well as service to the segmented individual portions thereof. A duty, there's those portions again, a duty I owe to both God and mankind. In accordance with this aim and end, the Constitution of the United States. Nice to know he's a Constitution guy as well. Yeah, pocket Constitution on him at all times. Yeah, and the statutes personal of California confer upon me and all persons of chiropractic faith, the inalienable right to practice our religion, which it's not a religion by the way.

It's not a religion. But to practice it, we've got our right to practice our religion without restraint or hindrance. So I want to close out my bit with a couple of pull quotes from a letter that he wrote to some fucking person. I don't know. I don't know who this person is, but it's this letter that you can go and read where it lays out the facts. Quote, I occupy in chiropractic a similar position as did Mrs. Eddy in Christian science. So there's a movement called Christian Science, that sort of began a little earlier than this, by which Mrs. Eddie was the like chief practitioner and she was prepped under law is what she's sort of what he's

referring to. Mrs. Eddie claimed to receive her ideas from the other world, and so do I. She founded thereon a religion, so may I. I am, and this is all in upper case, the only one in chiropractic who can do so? We'll come back to that just in a moment. Yea, old dad always has something new to give to his followers. That's him by the way, he's old dad. He's old dad. I have much new written for another edition when this one is sold.

It is, and all in upper case, strange to me why every chiropractor does not want a copy of my book. Oh boy, oh no. Yeah, it's strange to me too. Yeah. He goes on to describe his interaction with the legal system. Quote, you ask, what I think will be the final outcome of our law getting? It will be that we will have to build a boat similar to Christian science and hoist a religious flag. I have received chiropractic from the other world, similarly as did Mrs. Eddie. No other one has lad claimed to that.

No other one has lad claimed to that. No other one has lad claimed to that. Not even my hated piece of shit son. Oh no. Exemption clauses instead of Cairo laws by all. Not even BJ, not even my hated piece of shit son. Oh no! Exemption clauses instead of Cairo laws by all means. And upper case, let that exemption be the right to practice our religion. This is the one that's not a religion.

We also made it up. I am the Messiah, but it's not. But we must have a religious head. One who is the founder, as did Christ, Muhammad, Joe Smith, Mrs Eddie, Martin Luther, and other who have founded religions. I am the fountain head. I am the founder of chiropractic in its science, in its art, in its philosophy, and in its religious phase. Now, if chiropractors desire to claim me as their head, their leader, the way is clear. My writings have been gradually steering in that direction until now it is time to assume that we have the same right to as has Christian scientists.

There's also a fun little quote in the thing it was like, if you read the first chapter of my book, the chiropractor, you'll see some subtle hints towards this. Oh my fucking God. He's playing like 12 12 D chess and also the chess pieces are also vertebrae. So next time like at some point I'd love to talk about BJ Parmadi's son, possibly his murderer, and the developer of chiropractic. Oh my God! Court records reflect that during a parade in Davenport in August 1913, D. D.D. was marching on foot when he was struck from behind by a car driven by B.J.

He died in Los Angeles, California, on October 20, 1913. The official cause of death was typhoid fever. Though some may believe it was the consequences of being run over by a car. Oh my God! The courts exonerated BJ of any responsibility for his father's death. B.J. innocent. So that's the story of chiropractic and what it says. Sorry I thought it was going to be a short one but yeah. There's a lesson there. Go to physio. Go to a physio. Jesus Christ. Well I'm a... Even a remedial massage. Oh man how good's a

remedial massage. God damn. It's so good. I have something slightly less batch-shed insane for you. Okay. Which this was... I don't know, I don't see how you, how you could be less insane than that. I seem perfectly cogent. The perfectly same science religion of chiropractic. This is something that was sent to me by George of the show, George, who was 100% correct that this would be perfect for a Theophiles. It's so good that we had a, we had an opening for a George of the show and we've got one George. Yeah, I mean if they hadn't come along, and they just fit right in.

Yeah, I don't know what we would have done. Theo, I would like you to cast your mind back, if you can, to 7,700 years ago. Yeah, picture that in your mind. Now at this time, the mountain node to the local Klamath people as Gwass collapsed due to a volcanic eruption, forming what is now known as the titular Crater Lake of Crater Lake National Park. Oh, I love Crater Lake. Oh, man, it's, it is spectacular. George and I went there, and I thought I had been there before, but it turns out I'd been confusing it with a different National Park, somewhere in the Pacific Northwest.

It is stunning. I've not been into America yet, but I think like Pacific Northwest, checking out Crater Lake, that's a good time. Go and see some trees that are tall. Oh man, they've got some big fucking trees over there. So this is located in South Central Oregon Oregon, Oregon, Oregon, Oregon, Oregon, Oregon, Oregon, Oregon, or Oregon, or Oregon, or Oregon, tholk, tholk, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, and I's, and I'm, and I'm, thi, th, th, th, and I'm, th, th, thi, thi, and I's, and I, thi, thi, and I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I'm, and I'm, thi, thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thii. thi. thi. thi. trees over there. So this is located in South Central Oregon, or as people from Oregon would say, Oregon, Oregon, Oregon. Oregon. I'm from Oregon. Yeah, I'm really sure.

It is a partially filled Caldera. Love a Caldera, you know, you know me, I'm a big caldera guy. The moment I saw that word to that, actually, I was like, fuck, I thee, I loves a caldera. What? He really loves it. You say that as if it's like weird for me to love to love it? What's not to love a cold terra so much. So it's a partially filled caldera. It has no rivers flowing in or out of it, but it is entirely replenished by rain and snow,

by precipitation. So, like, all of its evaporation is replenished in a cycle that takes it about 250 years to completely recycle its water through there. Love a good cycle. Love a fresh coldera. Just with the normal wets from, thss, ths, thes, thes, thes, thes, thes, thers, thes, thiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, the, they, thi, they, they's, they's, thiolier rivers, thiolier rivers, thiolier, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I'm thiole, I, I'm thiole, I'm thi, thi, thiolooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes, thi, thi, th. Love a good cycle. Love a fresh caldera. Just with the normal wets from rain and snow, not from the abnormal wets, from salt water, etc. The devil's wits. If you're brackish, fuck off.

Neither here nor there. This is clear as fuck. It is absurdly deep. It is 594 meters deep at its deepest point, which is just a bit over two titanics standing end to end. Now are we talking that the water is circulating or are we talking anaerobic water under a certain kind of like oxygenated cap of water here. That's a tremendous question and I don't know. Okay, because like some, some like fresh water lakes that are fed by,

by rain, as opposed to ones that are part of like a tributary, they get water on top which is sort of like, you know, wind and stuff turns it up. But then at a point, all the turbulence dies out and you get this big th. thiiiiii th th th th thi th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thri-a the, thi. thi. thr-a thr---------------------like, th-like, thr-a th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's the. I's the. I''-a--------a-s. I'm thr-s. I'm thr-s. I'm togee. I'm toge. I'm thr-a-s. I'm thr-a-a-a-a-s, you know, wind and stuff turns it up. But then at a point, all the turbulence dies out, and you get this big layer of water where there's no oxygen whatsoever. So fish and stuff. All the heavy water at the bottom. And like, if fish like go down there, they just go whoop and go straight up to the top, kind of upside down with little X's over their eyes. So it's just H2 down there. Yeah. It's the deepest lake in the United States, and it is the ninth deepest lake in the world, which is pretty cool.

It's over two times as deep as Loch Ness, which is my only reference point for deep lakes. It's really, really fucking deep. We're talking two LNs. Yes, well, maybe even two and a half, but yeah, the standard unit of measurement. It has two islands. One is a natural rock pillar called Phantom Ship. And the other is a cinder cone, an immense, immense cinder cone, the peak of which stands above the top of the water and that is called Wizard Island.

Oh my God. I've, I have scrolled over to Wizard Island on Google Maps before and just zoomed in and out, thinking about Wizard Island. I think we had a wonderful volcano. We had a two-stage journey of like getting up to the rim of Crater Lake, pulling over and being like, holy fuck this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. I mean like, whoa, check out that island, looked at a sign and been like a wizard island. Oh, that is the dotest thing to ever happen. That is the icing got an already wonderful cake. It also has another noteworthy feature.

That feature is a tree stump. Now this tree stump. Now I've seen tree stumps before Ben. Yeah. I feel like that you're possibly trying to pull one over on old Theo here. Possibly with one of your lies. Well, I've got to tell us the truth. So I don't know why I would do that.

This tree stump is most likely that of a hemlock, which is a common name for a type of pine unrelated to the other plant for the same name. It is bleached white in color and protrudes about four feet above the water line. There's about 30 feet of the tree continues going down below the waterline terminating at which you would expect its root structure. Because the water is absurdly clear you can see straight down to where its roots are. Man I love that. He's a description a description of that stum made by a man named Joseph Diller in a 1902 report

for the United States Geological Survey titled The Geology and Petrography of Crater Lake National Park. In 1896 a tree was found near the west shore of Wizard Island standing erect in 37 feet of water. The trunk was broken off just above the water level and the roots at the base were seen through the clear water on the bottom as if the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree grew tree grew tree tree the tree grew tree tree to to to to to to toe toe toe toe toe toe the the the the the the the the the the toe. in toe. in toe. in toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. tree. tree.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.trunk was broken off just above the water level and the roots at the base were seen through the clear water and the bottom as if the tree grew where it was standing. It could not be shaken from the boat, and it was evident that if the tree grew where it was standing,

it proved the lake to have been much lower than now at a recent time. So they saw the tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree the the the the the tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree the the the the tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree stump and they drew the natural conclusion that if its roots were 30 feet below them, then the level of the lake must have been in somewhat recent history, at least 30 feet low, which doesn't really scan with how we understand the lake to work. The water level is relatively constant, there's, it would be hard for it to gain sufficient amounts or even lose sufficient amounts of water, you know, or to reclaim it after gaining, after losing that much. But luckily this incongruous find that they had made was sort of solved by another discovery that they made. This is continuing from the same report.

Sufficient bailing wire was secured to reach the shore and it was discovered that the tree had no hold upon the bottom. It had drifted from the shore of the island. In 1901, the same tree was... was was was was was was was was was was was was was was... was was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was... I was the the this this this this this this this, you this, you this, you this, you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. It had drifted from the shore of the island. In 1901, the same tree was... I was wondering whether you were talking about this tree stump. I'm so excited. It is. It's the best. Something just indescrib... like what is so appealing about this, this tree? It's incredible. Go on. Like, I just, there's just something so sumptuous about the the their. their. their. their. their's the, what is so appealing about this fucking, this tree? It's incredible. Go on, like, I just, there's just something so sumptuous about the entire thing. It's perfect. I think it's because you kind of have to wonder about the life of it.

You're forced to think about this thing existing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the same tree was off the north edge of the island, at least one fourth mile from its position in 1896. Owing to the steep slopes of the rim, a tree frequently slide them into the water in

an erect position, and the lower part becomes waterlog. It floats about the lake with only a few feet of the top projecting above the water, and thus furnishes a spectacle curious enough to excite the imagination. Which is absolutely fucking right. That's so cool that that's a relatable thing like 120 years ago to be like, that's dope. Hey, cool stump, and I like thinking about it. Yep. That's fun to think about. When he came back in 1901, he took a photo of it, which was the first time that the stump was photographed. And we have that photo, and it looks terrifying. It's like something from an SCP, just like the quality of the photo is, I don't know,

very spooky. In 1938, the stump, still floating upright, was made the subject of an inquiry by, quote, Washington, D.C. DC. The feds want to know what's up with that stump. That's as specific as it gets. Like I have looked around and like it's just, well Washington, the boys up in Washington DC want us to take a look at this. And so they did. In 1938, its movements were tracked over a period of three months with the results published

in a report by Ranger Naturalist Wayne E. Karchner and Park Naturalist John E. Doer Jr. in the 1938 volume of the magazine, Crater Lake Nature Notes, which in itself is quite cool. It's a sort of like, it's an annual magazine that ran from I think 1928 until 2002. So once a year, a bunch of park rangers and stuff would write eight to ten articles about stuff happening in Cradle Lake. And like the graphic design of it, representative of all the styles expressed in that period of time. So there's some real art deco-looking ones from the late 20s, early 30s, some beautiful ones from the 70s and 80s. It's very, very nice. Marking its location 84 times from July 1st to

October 1st, they discovered that sometimes it absolutely books it. During the period of observation, quote, the old man traveled a minimum of 99.9 kilometers. Oh my God. Yep. The distance between locations being measured in straight lines as indicated on the sketches. The actual distance was no doubt greater than 99.9 kilometers. So they are just generously saying, we saw it here yesterday, we saw it here today. It must have belined it, which is obviously never true. We're assuming, well, we're measuring it as the crow flies, but it is understood that as

the stump floats. The distance is longer longer thenters thenters thenters. the stmmmmmmmmmian thiiianananananed th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi is understood that as the stump floats, the distance is longer than that. As the stump meanders. The average daily travel was one kilometer. The maximum distance accomplished was 6.1 kilometers on August 6th when two observations were made, one early in the morning and the other late in the evening. So this in the course of a day, this ghost of a tree floated around the lake six kilometers. Yeah, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, is they, is th, is th, is thuun, thun, tumun, tumuuu tumu tumu tumu tumu tumu tumu thu thu thu thu. Asa, as the the the the evening. So this, in the course of a day, this ghost of a tree floated around the lake six kilometers. Yeah. Which is fucking wild. And you have to ask, does it have, do you think it has a definite position outside of these observations? Or is it only once we observe that we lock down its position to be true?

We collapse that wave form? Old man'sthat wave form. That's right. Old Man's Stump wave form. The Old Man Lake is, it's very much still there today, like 120 years later. Which is such a relief to me because every fucking time you read these stories, it's like, you know, the tallest tree that we knew about was so cool. It was like, you know, however tall, this is a beautiful big thing, and in 1962 we chopped it down to find out what was inside. It turns out as more tree. We made the White House 2 out of it and then got rid of the White House 2 because we didn't like it.

We already had one. We already had one. So, the park ranges that did their boat tours, Lake, used to do their party, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, to their, their, their, to, their did their boat tours lake used to do their party trick where they would just jump on it, they would like get off the boat in the middle lake. And like so there's tons of photos them doing that. But obviously it was like wide enough and stable enough that you could just do that. How toward did we say 37 feet including the roots. So that's about 10, 11,there 11 11 a bit meters right? Yeah.

Yeah. Of pine tree, you've got to imagine that thing weighs several tons. It would be enormously heavy because it has been soaking up the water for like a hundred years. Yeah. So you're not going to, yeah, you're not going to phase it whatsoever. No, it's not going to be bothered by you jumping on his, jumping on his little head the there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. t. t. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. the. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the th. the th. th.'s not going to be bothered by you jumping on his, jumping on his little head there. Well, which is still kind of crazy in itself, right? Because like, we, even if you don't understand the physics behind it, we sort of have an intuitive understanding of how buoyancy works, that a long thin object will come to rest horizontally, generally, which is, because it's center of mass and its center of buoyancy. The center of buoyancy is always rights itself to be above the center of mass or the reverse. I don't know, some shit happens.

I'm not a big boat guy like yourself, yeah. I'm not a big physics guy like yourself, so. We definitely did decide on like the direction that boats should go and I think we probably had a good reason for that. Yeah, we managed to nail that. We didn't. We didn't the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their th. We didn't thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi. But we thi, thi. But, thi. We thi. We thi. It's, thi, thi, thi, thi, their. It's right, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. It's right, thi. It's thr. throi. throoooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. trie. the. It's their th boats should go and I think we probably had a good reason for that. Yeah, we managed to nail that. We didn't make them like straight up. But there's some interplay between the point that is the center of an object's mass in total and the point that is the center of the mass of the part of something that is submerged, that they tend to align in a specific way, so th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, theee, the, the, the, the, that they tend to align in a specific way, so generally very long thin objects will go on their sides, yaddy yada, and that is normally what happens to logs. You may have seen this in old-timey things about people doing log, jumping in log.

Maybe you've seen a log yourself. You might have seen a stick in the water and gone, that checks out to me. There are some theories as to why this happened. Here are some insights on that from a 2016 CBS article. Why hasn't the old man sunk? Rocks may have once weighed down the roots, waterlogging the bottom while the sun dried out the top. But Crater Lake National Park aquatic geologist Mark Booktenica isn't as concerned with the why. I think maybe some questions should remain unanswered, he said. That maybe is part of the human condition to believe it a little bit of mystery in the interconnectedness of all things. Well that's where he draws the line as far as like the extent of, not just what we

can understand, but what we should understand as humans. Yeah. None of my business, perfectly honest. The reporter here asks him back, so as a scientist, you're okay with maybe not knowing? And he replies, I'm okay with not knowing. So that the theory that it's rocks was the same, the same theory advanced by Joseph Diller, the

man who first documented seeing it. But divers haven't found any rocks in there or evidence like holes left that would indicate there were rocks there at the time, so we're still not entirely certain. There's a fun other little sentence here from Mark Buktenika, the aquatic geologist, saying that you would think that the four foot above the water, it act as a little sail, but sometimes he'll move all the way across the lake against the wind. I love that. He just does what he wants.

There's no, you can't kind of, you're not going to be able to predict what old man does next. You can't try and nail him down. That would just ruin the beauty of him. Although we'll get to that in a second. So no one, we have no idea for how long it has been doing it since 1896. There's a first written documentation of it. We did do some preliminary carbon dating on it. And it, and it's at least, at, the the beauty, the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, theo, that, thateo, theo, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,. It's the first written documentation of it. We did do some preliminary carbon dating on it, and it's at least 450 years old. Oh my God, I love that.

Which is wild, right? Another interesting detail that we found out about the old man in the lake is that there is a type of moss growing on the old man of the lake that is only otherwise found it spots at a depth of 120 meters in the lake. So that suggests that at some point in its life cycle it was down at 120 meters. But like the the level of the lake... Yeah well because it they... level of the lake wouldn't have been low enough for trees to have been there like basically in the entire things history except way back at the start. So maybe at some point it sunk then came back up but who fucking knows?

And then one more thing that I wanted to share from, aquatic geologist from Crater Lake National Park in regards to the old man of the lake is from that same CBS article. In the 1980s, Booktenika was part of a submarine exploration of Crater Lake. To avoid running into the old man out in the water, they tied him up on the shore. Bad idea! It wasn't long after it was tied up that a storm blew in, B, in in in in in in, the in, the in, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the old man out in the water, they tied him up on the shore. Bad idea! It wasn't long after he was tied up that a storm blew in, Bookteneca recalled, and the surf's lake got too rough for us to deploy and recover the submarine. When it started to snow in August, superstition got the best of the scientists. Our senior scientists went out quietly one evening and released the old man from his bondage, he said, and wouldn, and, and, and w. And, and w. And, and wo, and wo, and wo, and wo, and wed, and wed, and wed, and wed, and wed, and wo, and wo, and wo, and wo, and wo, and wo, and wo, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and, and, and, their, and, and, their, and, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their-u, their their th.. th. the-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-s, their-s, their-s, their-up, their-up, their, their, the old man from his bondage, he said, and wouldn't you know it, the weather cleared up right afterwards. He won't be tied down.

He will not be tied down in any sense. Metaphorically or especially physically. Yeah, especially literally, he's simply shan't. Oh, isn't that just fucking wonderful to think about like... It's so good. It's a wholesome thing. And I enjoy that everyone in the story being being being being being being wholesome the whole being being being tholesome thiolesome thiolesome thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, he's thi, he's thi. thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi.. the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the think about like... It's so good. It's a wholesome thing and I enjoy that everyone in the story is also being wholesome about it as well. Yeah, I think it's...

It's just like, ah, look, we put him in chains, but I really don't feel right about this. I was actually kind of annoyed. We only learned about him like, after we had been there. So George was like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, there. So George was like madly scouring for photos. We took a crate of like to see if it was visible in there but I don't think we found any. But fuck it's just such a cool little tidbit like that just with no concern or regard for human events this incredibly unlikely thing has just been bobbing around mining its own business. No thoughts, no ideas, just vibes.

That's so beautiful. I love that so much. Ah, what a pleasure. As always. I think that concludes our episodes of the... I think so. Jesus. Yeah. Concludes our episode of The Theophiles. I don't think it does. I think the Theophiles. There are a lot of trouble with my words lately. I don't know what's going on there.

I don't think it does. I think that this concludes the episode of the Theophiles. And I can certainly say that. If you know the magic question to find out, which one of us always tell us the truth, please let us know. Thank you very much for listening the the the the the the thing thi listening th no idea whether this is a main or a free episode so I know. We're putting this one in the can. Yeah, why? We're just going to rattle it around until such time as it pops out. Yeah, until when it feels good. Yeah, and then we'll bust it out. How's Finn doing.

I don't thin' thii-I'm thin' thin' thin' th go on unsublaxes C4. Go unify him with the godhead. All right, we will catch you next week. Have a lovely day. Bye-bye. Bye. Christmas today, It's not in the air, it's a year and together. Christmas time I see. I Christmas time is here. How the way you could always see, it's a shame to be the truth of it. All that the way you could all I see? So she is.