Boonta Vista - EPISODE 232: One Bigfoot Theory (with Monster Crazy)

Episode Date: January 13, 2022

Andrew and Ben are joined by Cameron and Kai from the new monsters-only podcast Monster Crazy to talk about, you guessed it: monsters. We go deep on regional cryptids, fuckable Universal Monsters, and shaved chimps. *** Outro: Amos Moses - Jerry Reed *** Listen to Monster Crazy: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/monster-crazy/id1603298281 Buy Kai's art: https://www.inprnt.com/frames/kaiklops/ Listen to Podcast About List: https://podcastaboutlist.podbean.com/ *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to Buentevista. I am Andrew. It's midnight and I'm currently deep in the eerie swamps of the Louisiana bayou. Pushing my pontoon through the murky waters, I hear the sounds of the night all around me. Frogs croak, fireflies flash, and a distant bayou wolf howls at the moon. There on the banks of the water I see a light emanating wolf howls at the moon. There on the banks of the water I see a light emanating from a small rickety shack. I approach the shore and at the very instant my pontoon touches land the night falls deathly silent. Nearing the shack the door bursts open and I'm confronted bythe tattered remains of what were once new and treasured human clothes. The shambling shape smells distinctly of bong resin and perched atop its head is, what is that?

It appears to be a trucker cap. Oh, it's just Ben. It's just Ben. What's happening? Hey, okay. Unkept seems mean. I actually brushed my hair this morning and I shaved. th, so I'm kept as hell as far as I'm concerned right now. I thought it was long of three months, but I thought you were doing a whole like, I'm just not cutting this beard for the duration of the pandemic kind of life. I was using three months as a shorthand for I think a year and a half. I don't know. It'd been a really fucking long time. I. I. I I I I I I I I I was I was I was I was I was I was I the th th. I th. I th. I th. I thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu that that. It was that. It was tho thu thu thu thu thu. It thu thu. It thu. It thu. It was thu. It was thu. It was thu. It was thu. It was thu. It was thu. It was thu. It was thu. It was thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu the the the the thru thru thru thru thru thru theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the thu thru thu shaved. You grow fast. I, well I mean I, I shaved my beard down to, I keep, I fuck it up every time. I'm like, I could be a guy that just has a long beard and then, but I'll keep it nice. And then I'm like, oh, I'll just use the biggest setting on my shaver and then,

and then it turns out that's quite short actually, and then I accidentally sha shape the whole thing off every time. I don't want to do it with scissors, because I can't guess, mate, what the lengths are, I'm gonna look asymmetrical. I look like a complete fuckhead, can't do it. I'm no Andrew, that beautiful fucking beard. Where was that voice coming from? We hear a cracking of branches in a their their their their the moonlight. As they come closer I can see more clearly. They're hideous. Coated in a slick green eye core, tongues lulling freely from their mouths which are twisted up into a mocking impression of a human smile.

As they lurched closer, cockroaches and worms fall free from their sleeves and pant legs. Some running from the light, others crushed to the dim lamp light coming from the door of the shack to illuminate the details of their wretched faces. Hey, it's Cameron and Kai, host of the new podcast, Monster Crazy. What's up? Wow. Hello, I was in a shack. What's up? What's up?

It's so warm and nice in here. Yeah. All right, well goodbye guys, we're going to go back into our shack and talk about bugs. See you guys later. Just comparing bugs. You know? I'd be one of those guys from the Pokemon games in the early parts. Oh yeah, totally. Whole life is very bug-centric. Stand in on the road waiting for people to walk past and say, do you like bugs?

It's a great life. And when you're in a swamp, pretty much everyone likes bugs. Yeah. If you don't like them, you've moved out of the swamp at that point. Nobody hates bugs moves into a swamp. That's for sure. No. Except for work sometimes. Bugs were the most popular kid in swamp high school for sure.

Guys, you have started a new podcast. Monster Crazy. It podcast. Monster Crazy. Mm-hmm. It's called Monster Crazy. It's called Monster's about monsters? Exclusively. Yes, all about monsters all the time. All about crazy, all the time.

Crazy is hell. Monsters and crazy. And there's monsters coming out. There's monsters coming from everywhere to. Every direction. Yeah. And I believe that is verbatim verb the verb verb verb verb verb verb verb verb verb verb the the the the that is the the that is verbatim the that is the the that is verbatim the the that is the that is the the that is the the that is that is the that is the the the that is that is the that is that is that is that's monsters coming from everywhere too. Every direction. Yeah. And I believe that is verbatim, the tagline of the podcast.

Yeah, it's on the poster. You know, it's small italic font. I gotta say I listened to the show and something that I appreciate about it is that it's not a show where you are like recapping a movie that has a monster in it. It's deliberately, we're not here to talk about the movie, we're just here to talk about the monster? Exactly. Yeah, that is exactly it. It's a little bit hard sometimes, especially with our second episode with the suckling, where there's no other lore about the suckling.

Like the suckling just takes place in the suckling. So it's difficult to parse out the two, but that is definitely the objective. Yeah, I mean we figured like there's probably about a thousand podcasts about movies at least, if hey if not 10,000. But how many are there about monsters? None. Monster crazy. Yeah, just now there's one. Before that there was zero. As far as we know, and we haven't googled it. We're not going to don't don't message us about it We don't we know that there's just one Instant walk don't don't send us our own podcast Hey, I found the the podcast about monsters Was it like any particular conversations about monsters? Was it like any particular conversations about monsters?

that made you guys say we we got to talk about monsters in a more professional capacity? I feel like we just talk about monsters all the time in general to each other to each other. To the point where we're just like, yeah we should probably just do this. This would be fun to do. Because I think it's mostly like, we will be talking about monsters to each other anyway, but for me at least it's mostly to to to to to to to to to to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look to to to look, to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to be more, to to be more, to to be more, to be more, to be more, to be more, to be more, their monsters, their monsters, their their monsters, their monsters, their monsters...... We, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their thoe. Wea. tooe. tooome. tooome. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to to their to each other anyway, but for me at least it's mostly an excuse to like like quote-unquote do research which is just like look up cool stuff on Google. Yeah, it's awesome. I have an office job and like I do maybe like 12% of what my boss thinks that I do because she doesn't know what I do

really which is awesome so I get to just like look up cryptids on my work laptop at work. Which is, you know, a better use of time than like, I don't know, staring at the wall. But yeah, I've had some prime office jobs for that kind of thing where you just get to spend a bit of time going, I think I'm going to develop a niche interest in this now. I think that Cameron and I have always liked monsters though. I mean, before, like it was, Monster Crazy was Cameron's idea. But before that, it was just like, I mean, we would just like DM each other like a picture of a cool monster. Or then we were like talking we would talk about a cool monster and so it kind of came about pretty naturally I think that we would talk about monsters. And Kaya you're an illustrator as

well. Pardon me. And I would describe your style as being pretty monster-centric, you know? Yeah I love to draw too much teeth you know? Yeah I love to draw too much teeth you know? Yeah I thi the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi I thi I thi I thi I would thi I would thi I would thi I would thi thi thi thi the the the the thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that that the tho tho tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the know? Yeah, I love to draw too much teeth, you know. Yeah, no, it's definitely. That's my favorite thing to draw just because it's fun and visceral. And you can, you can buy Prince of Kai's stuff. I will put the links in the episode description. You can, you can, you can't, it's true. You can probably can check out his Patreon, you know?

You can probably even commission him to do a thing. You can maybe do that one, but don't check out my Patreon. I forgot to shut that down. I made a lot of promises I couldn't keep about art. And then I just didn't take it down. And now I think Thomas is my only subscriber. Oh you just give me five dollars a month. But I give him five dollars a month for his hat fund so I think we were just netting zero. Yeah but don't don't subscribe to my Patreon it's still up but you're not going to get anything out of it. Unless you just want to donate. Just two guys swapping five dollars. Patriot gets a cut every month. Yeah, it's the most efficient system possible. But what you guys don't realize is that this made Thomas and I millionaires in the hack that you don't understand.

Oh boy. All right so does anybody here, this includes you Ben, looking at you right now? Anybody, anybody got any like formative monster movie memories from childhood? Was there perhaps a monster movie that you saw too young, really burned something in your brain? Was there something, a treasured memory perhaps of a gateway into monster movies? I mean, mine started very young and wasn't a monster movie, but the original Alice in Wonderland cartoon, like, I don't know, it's probably Disney, right? The Disney one, like the cartoon one, I watched that over and over as a kid and I thought the Cheshire Cat was the drippiest motherfucker around. I just thought he was so cool, but, and like he is th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th, thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is tot, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was toteeeeeei, was thi, was thi, was thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, was the drippiest motherfucker around.

I just thought he was so cool. But, and like he is totally a monster. I mean, like he's not like, I think we can stretch the definition of a monster pretty wide for the purposes of right now and also our podcast. But I remember just a creepy smiling guy in a tree who's also a cat who can like make parts of himself disappear and like he's sort of omnipotent maybe or I he freaked me out in a way that I was most fascinated by and ever since then I think I've basically just thought creepy stuff was the same as cool stuff.

Yeah. The Cheshire cat's a hundred percent like a fucking one of the monsters they would put in the monster manual but like the same as cool stuff. Yeah. The Cheshire cat's 100% like a fucking, one of the monsters they would put in the monster manual, but like the monster manual three, where they've run out of like all the normal ones. Yeah, what the fuck else we got? It would be good monster still in the monster manual. Yeah, it's like cat, adjective dog.

That's visible cat. Ghost cat, all right, you got it. Robot dog, sick, this is dog. Is the Shush-a-cat like chaotic, chaotic neutral? I think he's chaotic neutral. He's ultimately benign. He's not like trying to kill Alice or hurting though. He's just, I think he's just like a entertained observer. But- He's like the the the the the thine, thine, thi thi thi thi thi, he's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, thi, like, thi, thi, thi, like, like, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. He's just, I think he's just like a entertained observer. But, it's like Tom Bumbadill in that regard.

Smiling neutral. Yeah, he's smiling neutral. But he is totally like, I mean, not in an evil way, but he's totally like a little demon thing. I mean, that's not a normal cat. No. I might have to do some research on that one before I weigh in. I might have to observe some cats. Like the vet would charge you extra to deal with that cat. Like they'd 100% be like, this is going to take a little more work than normal. It's asking me riddles, it's getting out of the cage, it's throwing up everywhere. It's asking me riddles again. What about you, Cameron?

. What about you Cameron? Any early monster memories? Monster, my monster obsession. I don't know if it started necessarily with this, but I was super, super into Godzilla movies as a kid. And I just watched the shit out of all of those just like over and over and over. And so I really like, specifically giant monsters are my thing. I really love giant monsters. And like, yeah, my dad would just show me Godzilla movies and I watched, you know, like the dubs where their, their mouths don't fit the words and shit. And I love that stuff so much.

I still do. That's the best. That's my fucking favorite. I have a very large collection of bad bootlegs of early Godzilla. Yeah. I the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that. I thath. I thathea thathea. I thathea. I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up th. I th. I th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. I tho-s. I tho-s. tho-s. tho-s. tho-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-do-do- You're talking to the right guy with Cameron. That shit fucking rules so bad. Good rocks, dude. I'm a big King Geetra head. Yeah.

Dude, I'm gonna, I'm about to get him on my tetor head. Yeah, I'm gonna be tat. I'm gonna get him tattooed soon. I'm gonna get him on my shin and it's gonna be shin king gidora get it sick right like camera could you explain it to me like shin Godzilla oh and it's on your it's on the body part called the shin that is very funny yeah I am I feel like last like 12 months I think my my wife has suddenly realized that she really likes giant monster movies Which is one of those things where I think she had just assumed forever that she would not enjoy that and think it was stupid

And then I put on maybe like it might have been one of the new one of the new ones like a Skull Island or or Godzilla versus Kong or whatever and she was like, holy shit, he's so big. It's fucking rules. It's so sick. It's so awesome. Wait, how tall is he? Oh my. Yeah.

There's literally something like the human brain that like specially reacts when it sees like a big monster walk through like a miniature city. Like it's like a, it's like when the brain like releases DMT when you die or something but there's some working chemical that's going on up there that's like there's no feeling like it just to see just to see this to see a big guy knocking over a building it's so awesome and like and like yeah like yeah the there is absolutely nothing I could to influence this situation in any way th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. the th. th. the th. the th. the th. the the. the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. te. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the the there is absolutely nothing I could do to influence this situation in any way you know that kind of vibe as well complete helplessness but yeah I think she's got a whole bunch of things like that it's it's interesting with those really big ones where for me at a certain point like Godzilla

blends into like a natural disaster movie I mean it's like a force of there's nothing like there's not a lot of psychological fear that's going on with like a like like like like like like like like like like like like like the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th th th the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. I'm like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like thi. that's like thi. that's like that's like thi. that's like I thi. that's like thi thi thi th. th. th. th th. th th th th th th th th. th. I I I th th th thi th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th's not a lot of psychological fear that's going on with like a Titan style movie, but it's replaced by just like, holy shit, that thing is a hurricane that can think, which is, you know, the coolest thing ever. I also really like gigantic monsters, but I'm not, I'm not nearly as well versed in the gigantic monster universe's, Cameron, or it seems Ben. I feel like I've got some of those memories of things really early on, like, things where the vibe got you, like just very, very spooked out vibe. I remember being very spooked out by the like 70s Jabberwocky movie.

Yeah, with the fucking Monty Python guys. Yeah, speaking of like Alice and Wonderland stuff, some of the Monty Python guys made this movie about like the Jabberwocky monster from... What is it the Alice in Wonderland sequel? Yeah, through the Looking Glass is the main monster in that. It's like a silly dragon. Yeah, yeah, except the visuals are all very kind of dark and misty and the monsters all big and and twisted and fucked up. And I guess the other one for me is is seeing, like in sort of primary school, seeing Hellraiser 3 at my friend's house. That's the fucking...

Was it the CD Centibite that got you? Yeah, yeah. Like the camcorder one? The little camphod guy. It sounds so fucking bad. What is primary school in Australia? Like what age is... There'd be like great, great school, I guess for you guys.

Yeah, I was trying to gauge how old you were when you saw the centibite. Yeah, I want to say like, under 12, I want to say like maybe 10 or 11 or something. Is the hot lady centibite in Hellraise 3? I don't think so. Depends on which one you think is hot. They're all hot lady centibytes in a certain light. I respect all female centibytes. It's a formative experience of you. They're all beautiful to me.

But, uh, but like not, not so much, uh, I think, not so much that particular Hellraiser. Because obviously, Hellraiser one and two are the good ones. Yeah, Hellraiser three three th3 th3 th3 thes they they they they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's th. We's th. We're th. We're th. We're th. C. C. Ccent, th, thine. Ccents, th cene cene cene cene cene cene cene cene cene cene cene cene cene cene cene cene cene cites. C cent cent cent cent cent cent cent cent cent cent cent cent cent cent cent. C ccites, they's ccites, ths, ths, ths, ths, thine. C. We's cites. We're thine. We're thine. We're thine. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thine. We're thine. We're thine, we're ceney ceney ceney ceney ceney cenibe cenibe, cenibe. We're cene, cene, cenecib-cib-cites, because obviously, Hellraiser 1 and 2 are the good ones. Yeah, Hellraiser 3 is like, we're tipping off a cliff. I would say it's still cool though. Yeah, at least it's got the Centibuites in it and they're just rocking around doing stuff, you know? You're just keen to see more of them. And then all the sequels get into the realm we're like I got time for Hellraiser 4 Because it's so fucking stupid. Yeah, it's so good

Spaceman Adam Scott as the the like French vampire guy. It's so just like They were already on there. Um, just rewriting other scripts to be hellraiser movies thing at that point right like three onwards. They, they were just like, it's a movie about a serial killer. And there's some Santa Bites. They're all like... These guys are in space. Plus. Yeah, Santa Bide. That's that point. The prop guy found a pinhead mask in the back of the prop closet. So we're going to put that in a movie, too. You found a packet of nails in a late, and was like, wait a goddamn second. I think the only other franchise that can compete on that level of movies where they just, like somebody had a script that was a knockoff of seven and then they said, oh, what if we tacked on like the trademark from Hellraiser and we'll get enough money to do the makeup for a 20 minute long shoot. And we'll get enough money to do the makeup for a 20 minute long shoot

and we'll put it at the very beginning and the very end of the movie is sore. Sore also dipped really hard into like the serial killers. I reckon I haven't seen them though. Wrong. Wrong. I don't know. Actually that's incorrect. Did you see spiral? I don't know. Actually, wrong. Or did you see, uh, did you see spiral? The, I did see spiral. Okay, spiral is one where that argument I feel like would work.

But every, all the other ones are so fucking convoluted that I literally don't, if there was another script that, if there was a script that didn't have to be like two pages long and then they add saw stuff in. But well maybe maybe the maybe where I'm mixing them up in my mind is how much they all turned into being like a very convoluted police procedural with elements from the thing mixed in. The craziest thing about the saw movies to me is that besides saw one the best one is saw six which I feel like is absolutely insane for a franchise for the sixth one to be the to be to be like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi the the thi thi th mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to to to to thee toea toea thea thea thea thea thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th movies to me is that besides saw one the best one is saw six which I feel like is absolutely insane for a franchise for the sixth one to be the like the best one I can't usually not coming back at that point yeah exactly the like third or fourth one is like by far better than any of the

others the paranormal activity where it's like the coven of witches or whatever oh yeah I think it's like third or fourth but yeah it's like in a a a a a a a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the the th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the Coven of Witches or whatever. Oh yeah, yeah. Uh, I think it's like third or fourth, but yeah, it's like an actually quite good movie. And then the rest of them are absolute dog shit. It's baffling. I don't know how they snuck that one in there. You know what their insane one I bet there's a bunch of like bargain bin like 11th, you know, entry directed DVD movies that like two people have ever seen that are actually like incredible. And like every day of their life they're just screaming about it on these like blog spot pages that no one looks at. on, you have no idea. It's a great masterpiece.

It's not. Now, we get enough track though, because I think we can all agree that Jigsaw is not a monster? The monster of a man. Yeah, not a monster in the, yeah. In a figurative sense, he's monster, certainly. He's more in the Hitler kind of monster. Yeah. That's one's's one of the things scrubbed off from my lead pipe list. Thanks very much.

Oh, fuck. Are you tired of paying nothing for the same old superior quality free episodes of the Buntavista podcast? Do you want less politics and more content about diarrhea, or animals gone wild? You're tired of skipping through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg's shooter. Well, boy, do I have the offer of a lifetime for you. That's right, for just five US dollars a month, you too can be a premium VIP member of the Buntavista Patreon.

That's right, just five US dollars for all of our bonus episodes. That's over 300 hours of content from the hosts you know and definitely tolerate. I'll even throw in access to our glamorous and exclusive Discord server, where bizarre arguments only happen once or twice a week at most. Head to Patreon. to Com. Sign up in the next five minutes and I won't know because that's not my job, but you'll be enjoying the sweet satisfaction of supporting us, and we will love you romantically for it. That's my promise to you. So we put out the feelers to our beautiful listeners for monster related questions and

we are like we are a podcast that skews very crypted. So, a lot of like quite cryptic heavy questions as well. So, are you guys ready to start answering some Punta Vista listener questions about monsters and cryptids. Yeah, let's crypted it on. All right. First one, pretty tricky. This is from three parts. Are Yetis related to Bigfoot? I think so. I mean, maybe not directly, but there's a whole genre of cryptid that's just primates.

Like if you go to like the the cryptid wiki, there's like a dedicated page to primates as a crypted type. So yeah, like you skunk apes and you're exactly. I think a YETI could be a big foot that saw something really scary and turned white and had to move away to the mountains. The science is there. Where can I go where I'm not going to get spooked again? Exactly. For living in seclusion. The big foot who saw too much much much much much much too much too much too much too much too much th th th th th to th th th to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thuke thukewinkinkink thuke the thukeed thukekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekeke thape the skukekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekeed the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thuke thu thu thu thukew thukew to the thukew to the thukew to thukew thukew thuke thuke thuke thu I'm not going to get spooked again? The Himalayas. Exactly.

For living in seclusion. The Bigfoot who saw too much. It would be so sad to see every hair on Bigfoot's body stand on the end as he shrieks at a scary movie. Yeah, and he runs away. And then you go to the Himalayas to find the Yeti, and you're like, are big-and, thu big big big big big a scar over his eye? He's like, Bigfoot, it's been a while. Everybody's called me that. Bigfoot? I used to be.

Not anymore. All right, well, because we do have some more Bigfoot related questions here. And the next one kind of touches on the issue about, I thinkthink the relation of Bigfoot to other primate style cryptids. This one comes to us from James. He says you only hear about a singular Bigfoot. And Ben is a student of the Bigfoot here, so you might have some opinions on the bigfoot theory person. I'd be saying, you only ever hear about a singular Bigfoot.

Does the cryptic community theorize the existence of a mating pair of Big Feet? And if not, how does the sole remaining one feel about never being able to get some of that sweet big fooosy? I mean, you know, there's several schools of thought on this. I believe I've discussed this on the podcast before, but my personal theory is that there's one Bigfoot, he's a mortal, and he came to 26,000 years ago in a spaceship that crashed forming the Cheek Shalube crater in Mexico. But there are others that just think he's like a normal animal and there's a ton of them.

You go on big footboards and there are people that are like, I saw a family of big foots and two of them fucked outside my window and I watched the whole thing. If you are, if you are, our crumb, you firmly believe in like a lady big foot's with juicy arses and big hairy titties. And you also believe in running towards them going, ahbblah, ah, ah, blah, ah, yeah, boo, you know. Begging them to carry me away into the forest, you know? Our crumb's a horny guy. Begging them to carry me away into the forest, you know? Our girl is a horny guy. I'm a only a man who ever lived.

I'm a big fan of one Bigfoot theory. I'm a big fan of the idea that Bigfoot might be Cain, Dumed to wander the earth forever. That's maybe my... There's like a weird Moulman thing about that? Yeah, it's like a Mormon movement. Yeah, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom so so thoom. I thoombea, I'm thoomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomom! I's, I's, I's, I's, I's thoomomom. I I I I thoom. I I I I I I I thoom. I I I I I tho, I I I tho, I I I I I tho, I th. I th. I th. I th. I tho, I tho, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a thoom. I'm a thoooooooooooananananananan, thoooooooooomoomorrow thoooomoomoomoomoom. I'm a thing about that? About, yeah, it's like a Mormon thing. Yeah, in which case, yeah, no girl Bigfoot, because it's Kane. And he can't, he's marked. People can't go near him, we'll communicate with him, we'll deal with him. It's a shame. And he's hairy.

And he's hairy now for some reason. That would mean though that he's not related to like Yetties and Sasquatches and... There's also... There's just also other ape cryptids but that one's cane. Yeah, they're not right. Exactly. They might look exactly the sames, but they're different. It would also mean that Henry Rollins's character in he never died is Bigfoot. He's Cain in that movie. Yeah. It's not a good movie. I actually I know the real true

answer to this question but I'm gonna have to leave a no comment. Huh. You can't disclose that that information. Yeah. Could it go to keep some mysteries to himself you information. Yeah. Gotta keep some mysteries to yourself, you know. Exactly. Uh, so listener Rosalind, who very helpfully wrote in last week to let us know that she was taking a shit while listening to the show. So you've now said this twice on air, but you said it once in a bonus episode, that was behind the paywall to a much smaller pool of people and now you've put this out on a

main episode to the entire public you cannot stop telling people that this woman is shitting I mean I don't know if you're shitting right now but she did she did comment on the episode and say what a joy to be remembered this way so Rosalind writes. Shitting listener of the show, Rosalind. I've never listened to a podcast. Neither of I. That was my positive. All right, sorry, continue.

And I'm a filthy animal. I'll look at my phone on there. But I'm not listening to that podcast. Yeah. Jesus. . Don't need that right now. Anyway, she asks, would it be possible to bimbo-fy Bigfoot? Yeah.

Ah, Crumb would say, yes. There's a, as an artist who's taken many commissions that I haven't posted totally. You could like strategically shave him so it looks like he's wearing a bikini made of his own hair. Just... That would be pretty awesome. You could poodle him up too. Poodle him. Ooh.

Actually... Big feet, big knees. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh man. I mean, literally he's a blank canvas for filling in that,

creating that negative space, like, whole body. Tip to toe. Do anything to that Bigfoot, anything you wanted. Bigfoot is a barber's dream. Do you reckon that's what like hairdress is like fantasize about, is someone who's entirely covered with hair so they could do the most hair cutting they've ever done. I think he's actually the barber's nightmare because he can still only charge like $25. Oh actually that's a very good point. I want to show it back inside. Fuck! Fuck!

Oh. Two days later I'm like I'm done. Do you want me to square it off at the the arse crack or like taper or? This is of course a trick question because if you go to shop.buntavista.com you can buy a t-shirt with a sexy bimbo-fied bigfoot drawn by Branson Reese. Oh wow. You can get a sexy bigfoot t-shirt. I have not checked to see how many brave souls have actually bought the sexy Bigfoot shirt. And there's no way to know how many braver souls have worn it outside the house. You can also get a wise and serene Bigfoot from the shop as well drawn by Friend of the show George.

That's true. I like the ornery wizard one. I love that wizard. That's where Rory Blank did that one. Cool. You guys have some good merch. We try. We've had five years and we've put together like five shots. The show to you. We're doing good. I count six. Wait. There's more. Some of them are completely fucking incomprehensible though. They're fucking, however many financial crimes, Westpac is a fuck one, which is just like a topical piece of Australian financial news from like three years ago. It's right. All right, Turk writes, why did it come to be known as the Fresno Nightcrawler when

it clearly walks? Cameron, do you want to take that one? No, because I don't know the answer. Oh, I was hoping you did. I don't know what that is. I think that your listeners are trying to trick us. I know what it is, but I don't have, I that I that's that's that's that's that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that's, that, that, that, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that that that that that's, that's, that's, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's a, that's another trick question I feel like. I feel like this person knows something we don't and they're trying to make one of us. Maybe it is the Fresno Night Crawler. Righting in. Maybe it got its name like at an earlier stage of its life because you got a crawl before you walk, you know? That's true. Shut the fuck up. I've never seen. the f the f the f f f f f f f f f the f f f the f the f the f the f the f the f- the f- the f- the f- the f- the f- th. th. th. th. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is is is is is is is is is is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to ttttttttry. to try. to to try. tttry. try. try. try. theeeeeee. the. the. thrawler before. This thing's cool. He's also got a juicy little ass on it sometimes, you know, depending on the depiction.

I would love to chase that guy around. Chasing the Fresno Nightcrawler around and like snapping a towel at it? Yeah, get over here, get over here. It's picking its feet up, trying to get away. Look at its two legs. That thing would be awesome. their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the-a-a-a-upe-upe-fe-upe-upease thease thease theaseasease the-upe-oes-upease thease the-upe-upe-upe-upe-upe-upe-upe-upe-upe their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the-upe-upe-ca the-cane the-cane dease theaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenen ceaseaseaseaseenenen ceaseenenen theaseenenenenenenenenenenenenenititit-upeatchcha two little legs. That thing would be awesome to chase around it. Yeah, making a circle around it with like two friends and like you're going to jump on it and it's trying to fake different directions. Oh my god. Gilling stacks on as you chase after the nightcrawler. Oh, you guys. You might be named after the worm.

I don't. It's not very worm-like. It's got no features. If it did a split, it would look like a worm. It would. Oh, true. Yeah, that's a good point. If it can do the splits, I don't know how flexible the Fresno Nightcrawler is. Maybe that's how it became. Maybe it, uh, someone's cut a worm in half and it ran away. Oh. Someone kink it became bipedal.

Trying to splice two worms together in getting a Fresno Nightcrawler. Has science gone too far? Yes. Friend of the show, A cellar writes, The shape of water, 2017, set a new benchmark for monster fucking on the Hollywood big screams. Being essentially a horny take on Universal Studios creature from the Black Lagoon, which universal classic monster which you next want to see reinterpreted as

canonically fuckable on the silver screen. Slimer. Slimer. Play by Boris Karloff if I remember correctly. I think it'd be hard to make the mummy, I mean they they tried to make the mummy fuckable in a new one. Did they? What the Tom Cruise one? Yeah it's a sexy lady mummy. Oh I did not see that movie because I am a normal person with a finite lifespan. I didn't see that one either but it would be funny if that mummy was just a normal mummy and you were just like they tried to make it fuckable. They tried to make it really hot. Didn't you notice how hot it was? I jacked off to that movie. It's so weird. No it was the lady from you know like in the Kingsman movie. There's a lady who has like little blades for feet.

Oh yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? You sound insane right now. Kingsman is a stupid movie, but it's also very fun. Yes, I agree. I don't have time for fun. I think my universal monster. My universal monster might be the hensome. Is he a universal monster? I think he's a man. I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the that, that, the that, the that, the that, that, the that, that, the th of Notre Dame. Is he a universal monster?

Jerry's out. I think he's a man. Alright, so the classic, the classic universal monsters. No, I guess you got your Dracula. The classic ones are too boring. Those are too easy. Yeah. We've already had fuckable werewolves.

When do we have fuckable were wolves? My machine, Underworld. So fuckable. He looks good as hell. I know Slimmer is not actually a universal monster, but do you guys think the headless horseman counts? Or is he kind of more his own thing since he's just sort of in one story? I think it might be his own thing. I think who is. You got a mummy, a wolf man, a Dracula, a Frankenstein, a creature from the black. Phantom of the opera counts too. Really?

Yeah, that's just a guy. I have a universal monster box set and Phantom of the operas in there so. He's just a weird guy with a weird face he's a phantom he's a theater kid Dracula's just as normal as he is yeah I think invisible man also just a normal guy but he can also we can cat Abbot a Costello yes yeah true they kept bothering that mummy yeah I think think, I think the, the actual answer is that they have already made all of these monsters fuckable because in the early runs they had, you had bride of Frankenstein, she was sexy, even Frankenstein, you had bride of Dracula. Subjective, but yeah. Look, I mean, it's just, that's just for me. I like the stripes up

the hair, you know. I think the fuckable mummy is not, yeah, that's not been done, I don't think. Although, what's the name in, uh, the mummy and the mummy returns, an oxen and a mommun when she comes back as a mummy for a little bit in the second one. That's a that's a gorgeous lady. The beautiful South American woman playing an Egyptian print princess. That's a sexy mummy. Oh fuck that is. Maybe Dr. Frankenstein could be a good one. Yeah. But he's already kind of hot. So he's like like a woman. Serious APosexual? He's so intelligent. He has a stable job.

He made life from nothing. Rebooting Frankenstein is like a women in STEM kind of angle. Oh, that's a good angle. All right, well, we got a we got another Frankenstein question here. Hello. Bunties. Don't care for that. And Associated Guests,

Does Frankenstein have a dick? Did Dr. Frankenstein specifically pick out a dick for him? Or did he just use the dick already attached to that torso? And why? I mean, thank you, Happy New Year and fuck cops, Aiden. Oh, thank you Aiden. If I was Dr. Frankenstein, I would be picking out the scariest dick. The most frightening one, because I'm making a monster. I think he set out to make a man.

I would be making a monster. I would put a crab claw down there. Um, just another eye. That would be good. That another eye, that would be good. That would be good. Do you think it has, do you think it has bolts at the base of it? Yeah, totally. I think they'd be right underneath the head. But, I think that to answer the question, I would say probably Frankenstein, the doctor, did do that because he's already kind of a freak.

So like, you know, why stop halfway? If you're gonna, if you've got a god complex like that, you're gonna make a whole guy, you're gonna put a penis on it. I mean, it's not like you're gonna be like, leave the dick off and then be like, wow, I've done it. I am the first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first the first the first. like leave the dick off and then be like wow I've done it I am the first man to create a holy new 99.9% of a man and then you're leaving the space for one other scientist to come along and be like oh that's cute I made a guy with a dick as well yeah I guess I did job properly book the monster demands a girl one hmm that's true yeah Actually, I don't know that he specifies a girl one.

Yeah, but he does kind of do that. He's like, you have to, you have to make another one. And I'm, I guess I just assumed that he wanted a girl one. I don't know if that's mentioned. Or just like a friend he can jack off with, but either way he's right to me. I mean, the whole way through Dr. Frankenstein is just like, fuck it, whatever, I do what I want. I'm a professional. I'm a professional.

I'm a professional. As like a fail-safe to make sure that the monster didn't, you know, rebel against him or anything. And then if the monster tried anything it could be like well I could tell everybody you got a one centimeter dick down there. That's that uh the fucking everybody's gonna laugh at you. It's like that legal defense the the tiny penis defense where if you are making a character that's very clearly based on someone you give them a tiny penis so they have to be like, well it can't be you because he has a tiny penis.

Then they're like, fuck. I can't tell them. I think it would be a bad idea to make a superhumanly strong thing and then also give it a small dick and then also threaten to make fun of that. I think that's a recipe for disaster. I don't think the case of psychology for sure. I feel like he didn't intend. I would also have a gun. Okay, that's fair. It's like, two of us the shops. You have a little ass dick. Oh boy.

Um, all right. What have we got here? Reginald writes. Common depictions of the Chupacabra portray it as either a fucked up little reptile biped or a fucked up spiny dog thing. Which depiction of the Chupacabra do our beautiful hosts and guests believe is the true goat sucker?

I don't know which one I believe, but I like the dog one a lot. The spiny dog one is cooler to me. Yeah. I've I've I've the I've the th, I've th, I've the th, I've th, I've th, I've th. I've thia. I've thia. I've thia. I've thi. thi, I've thi, I've thia. thia. thia. thiae, thi, thi, thi, thiae, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia. thia. thia. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the the thea. theaugh, the theee thea. thean. thean. thean. theope. spiny dog one is cooler to me. Yeah. I've always been partial to a bug type chupacabra. Oh, interesting. I think it's very fun. A kind of mosquito bug-eyed thingy is how I think of it in my head. Running around, eating off bits of cattle. In the Scooby-doo chupicabra, doesn't it have bug eyes? That's canonical, yeah.

Let me see, Scooby-Doo Chupacabra. It has big red eyes, I know that much. Scooby-Doo and the Monster of Mexico, the 2003 film? Yeah, of course. Oh, actually, no, yeah, it's more just like, you know, this. He's like a big foot. Yeah, I've th. Yeah, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. thi. thi. th. th. th.'ve definitely always think, thought of the Chupacabra as being a mammal for certain. That mother's probably got fur, I'm pretty sure. But he's, you know, he's little and he's wiry.

I think that's what I'm imagining. Kind of like the weird, dumb-looking weirwool from the, that third Harry Potter movie? How he's just like real wiry looking? Oh yeah. That's almost exactly what I'm imagining, except when I think of the Chupacabra, I think of just some like other little features that aren't completely mammal mammal mammal-maliin, where like spiny, or like, you know,

something else going on that makes it a little bit otherworldly, but mostly a scrawny th. old coyote guy. This next question comes to us from Chimby. Was the Loveland Frog real or did the Ohio police just shoot an iguana? Now I was not familiar with the Lovela Frog so I can I can give some details here if we would all like. The Loveland Frog is very cool. There's one really good picture of him. That's really awesome that everybody should look at. I'm talking at the one where it's standing up in the bushes. Or it's next to a guardrail. Yeah. Oh yeah, that is amazing. That's one of my favorite.

It's also a real picture. Yeah, it's a photograph. So for the benefit of the listener who may not be familiar with the Loveland frog, this is from the Wikipedia entry on it and the part of it that refers to Loveland Police reports. On 3rd of March 1972 at 1 a.m. Loveland Police Officer Ray Shockey was driving on Riverside Drive near the Tote's Boot Factory and the Little Miami River when an unidentified animal scurried across the road in front of his vehicle. The animal was fully illuminated in his vehicle's headlights and he described it as a three to four feet as three to four feet long and about 50 to 75 pounds or 25 to 35 kilos with leathery skin. He reported spotting the animal crouched like a frog before it momentarily stood erect to climb over the guard rail and back down towards the animal, crouched like a frog, before it momentarily stood erect to climb

over the guardrail and back down towards the river. Two weeks after the incident, a second Loveland police officer, Mark Matthews, reported seeing an unidentified animal crouched along the road in the same vicinity of Shockey's siding. Matthews shot the animal. Great default cop move there. What is that? Bang bang bang bang. He shot the animal, recovered the body, and put it in his trunk to show officer

Shockey. According to Matthews, it was a quote large iguana about three or 3.5 feet long and he didn't immediately recognize it because it was missing its tail. Matthews speculated the iguana had been someone's pet that quote either got loose or was released when it grew too large. According to Matthews, Shockey was shown the dead iguana and confirmed it was the animal he had seen two weeks previously. Matthews recounted the incident to an author of a book about urban legends but says the author quote omitted the part that confirmed the creature was an iguana rather than a frog man. I think it was a frogman. That's a cover up, it's a frog man. Yeah, I mean, I do like... They're just covering up a frog man shooting, I think.

No one's mad about an iguana getting shot, I guess. I mean, probably the people that own the iguana. Well, they throw it away because it got too big. I reckon they had like the people they they they throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throwed throwed throwed throwed throwed throw it throwing throw it throw it they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throw throwed throwed away throwed away throwed away throwed away throwed away throwed away throwed away throwed away throwed away throwed away throwed away throw it throw it throw it throw it throw it that a thing people do with the climbers? I reckon they had like... I hate when my pets get too big. And you throw them away. There's just a little a little follow-up entry here. In August 2016 local Cincinnati TV stations reported that quote a night of fun turned into a chilling tale of hell when two teenagers playing Pokemon Go between Loveland Madeira Road and Lake Isabella claimed to see a giant frog near the lake on August 3rd that quote stood up and walked on its hind legs. That was Grinjia should have caught it. It was later revealed to be a local student from Archbishop

Moeller High School in a homemade frog costume. Dome. Imagine if you like your child got killed because they had dressed up as a frog man and the cops just immediately just shot up four times a man. It's a monster frog. Holy fuck this monster is telling me, I'm not a monster, I'm a child, please don't shoot me. Kill it. It's made of felt.

It's unnatural. Get it. Oh my god, it's swallowed a guy. It's growing him up. Oh my god, the guy's covered in blood. See his face sticking out of the mouth, I gotta help him. In looking at pictures of the lovelin frog, did you guys see the one that looks like it's like an etching?

Like it's just like a guy's butt with like a frog body. Yeah, it's like a reverse mermaid frog. It's looking very coyly at the camera as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a funny one. Oh, it's very muscular loveland frog there. Okay. Oh, my god. Yeah, that um, he's got calm got us. The fuck. What? Oh, the fuck. Yeah, oh, that. that. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that. that. that. the. that. that. that. the. that. that. the. the. the. that. that. that. that. that. the. the. the. the. It's. the. the. the. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's. It's like. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. the. the. the. the. the. the. It's like. the. the. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like cum gutters. The fuck's going on there. Jesus. Holy fuck. Damn. Yeah. I feel like I choose to believe I choose to believe that Oh There's a for it there is a lovelin frog frog and I don't care if they say it's a frog costume or iguana. I think it was a frog man both times. It's like that. It's a beautiful thing about about cryptots.'t just choose to believe. So the big turtle that said it that we spoke about on the podcast. Oh, the Hong Kim turtle? Where is it? Somewhere in America, somewhere in Indiana? Okay, that's not the same one. Yeah, where is it?

But they believe they have like a giant, like, fucking the busco, they reckon there is a monstrous turtle. Yeah, yeah, that one. Yeah, fucking hell, they are so good at graphic design. June 16 to 19th this year, look out for turtle days should be a great time. Hmm. This question comes to us from Citrex. What kind of local monster legends are from your town? Got any... Well there's a guy in the DIY scene here. I don't think Minneapolis has any. Cameron how about you? I mean, I think, my, you know, specific hometown doesn't have any,

but you know, I'm from Massachusetts and there's a bunch of good stuff around there, like the Dover Demon is a really good Massachusetts scripted. Um, and the whole, like, what is the Dover Demon? It's, oh, sorry, it has like, it looks like an alien. It's like a big head and long fingers and they saw it like crawling across the road. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to, to, to, to, theeeeea. toe. I's, theeea. thea. I thi. I th th big head and like long fingers and they saw it like crawling across the road or something. I would recommend googling it because it's a very, it's a very fun looking creature. It's like no mouth. It is certainly crawling in like every picture of it. That was that was the main descriptor of it I think. It looks kind of cute. Like the way that half the people have drawn it is like these like big eyes and very sort of roundish face and then others have drawn it as an absolute fucking nightmare.

Really, two approaches here. There's also the Bridgewater Triangle, which is like a plate, a part of Massachusetts that's supposed to have like a bunch of like paranormal stuff going on with like balls of fire and like thunderbirds and stuff That's cool as hell is very cool. I'm looking I you know, I don't know of any like I don't think there's any notable Minnesota cryptids, but honestly I think when people are anywhere they're going to come up with cryptids and and or find them but I'm reading about one that someone found a ghost pig. And then there's the Minnesota dogman. I'm a big dogman fan.

Yeah. I think there's a dogman. I just really like how mundane both of those are. Yeah. Yeah. On a terror on a dark night they say you can still hear a zombie cow shuffling around. Yes. The polite ghost. What about you Ben? I think are a lot of Australian ones going to be very similar.

I mean Harvey Bates is just too boring of a place to fucking sustain any interesting like bits of folklore or mythology or whatever. But like most regional Australian monsters are either like, uh, disappeared circus cats, uh, fucking large fish. We are still doing the, what's the, what's the, what's the one in the, I don't know, Blue Mountains or wherever it is? The blue mountains, Panther? Yeah, yeah, yeah. People are still constantly saying, oh, it's all right.

And like, yeah. They get a photo and it's, they get a photo from really far away that looks a lot like a cat. Yeah. And then they do a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot they they they do a lot they do a lot they do a lot they do a lot they do a lot they do a lot they do a lot they do a lot they do a lot they do a lot they they. You know, just. Yeah. And then they do a lot of explaining about like scale just to help you out with it, you know. I also, I do remember there's actually one other one that is, it's not a Minnesota or Minneapolis like specific one. But it is pretty particularly like northern wood of the US or of the northern America continent. Wendigos. Oh I love a Wendigo. Yeah, Wendigo's are very, very, very fucking sick. I'm pretty sure Wolverine like the comic book characters first appearances him fighting a Wendigo in... Oh that's so cool.

That's so cool. Yeah. I guess he's Canadian. Honestly if I could turn into any monster like as like a Ware version of myself, turning into a Wendigo would be very cool. there's a fucking, isn't there an 80s movie where the monster is a... a Wendigo? There's a movie called Wendigo, but I think it's a... It's later than the 80s. I'm sure I'm calling it. Isn't it like the Relic or something weird like that where you watch it and then you're like, oh this is about a Wendigo, what the fuck? The relic was a lizard creature. Andrew, sorry to interrupt your flow of questions, but I actually, could I ask all you three a question? Absolutely. So, upon realizing that I think it would be really cool to turn into a when to go in a

where tip situation, you know, a where is in like W E-R-E situation, what monster of any kind or crypted or anything would you want to be aware of? I would like to be a wear blue whale. That'd be done. Just like stand up. Do you still have some human future, some semi-human features when you turn into a whale? Yeah, human face.

What happens if it's a full moon? When you're like somewhere really landlocked? Well, I'm not gonna do that, because I'm not a fucking idiot. The moon is actually on a pretty predictable cycle. Yeah, that's true. It's like a clock. I'm not going to be like, oh, fuck. Full moon again already, I really wish I hadn't gone to Alice Springs. I fucked up so bad.

I would like to be a wearer. Put me in a pool. Oh, hell yeah. Imagine how powerful that would be, you know? Oh, that'd be awesome. You'd be shredding were wolves, for sure. Also because we're primates and so are gorillas, I feel like the halfway transform, you know, how where things are kind of human. I'd like, it would, it would jive, it would look cool still. I think so. I think if you had one of those, one of those cool transformation montages. Yeah, I think I could probably go for some kind of dinosaur just because that'd be awesome. Yeah. Good answer. I'd be a big, like a Quetzal coautilus, like a big like flying dinosaur. Giant wing spin. Blood out the sun.

The, uh, all of the local cryptids in my area, going back for a second, um, they're basically all Yawees. I don't know if you guys have heard of Yawis, but they're basically like the, uh, like the sort of Australian, um, indigenous version of like, sausquatches, kind of. Um, so let's, let's get a, let's get a description of a Yawi going. So a Yawi is usually described as hairy and ape-like creature standing upright at between 2.1 meters and 3.6 meters tall. Holy shit. So up to 12 feet tall. Wow. The Yowie's feet are described as much larger than a humans but alleged Yowie tracks are inconsistent in shape and toe feet tall. Wow. The Yowie's feet are described as much larger than a humans, but alleged Yowi tracks are inconsistent in shape and toe number, and the descriptions of Yowie foot and feet footprints provided by Yowi witnesses are even more varied than those of Bigfoot.

Behaviorally, some report the Yowie as timid or shy. Others describe the Yowi as sometimes violent or aggressive. One of the hallmarks of depictions of Yowis is, oh here's a description from a European guy who was in Australia in 1842. The natives of Australia believe in the Yowie, they believe they describe, that being they describe as resembling a man of nearly the same height with long white hair hanging down from the head over the features. The arms is extraordinarily long furnished at the extremities with great talons and the feet turned backward so that on fleeing from man the imprint of the foot appears as if he had been

traveling in the opposite direction. Altogether they describe it as a hideous monster of an unearthly character in ape-like appearance. So feet on backwards, so the way he runs around is tracks are going the other way. That's very awesome. I feel like there's another cryptic that has feet on backwards. Yeah. These are sightings from my local area. In 2010, a Camberman said he saw an animal described as quote a

juvenile covered in hair with long arms that almost toucest the ground and quote in his garage. A friend later told him it could be a Yowie. That sounds like my freaking sister. In 1996 while on a driving holiday a couple from Newcastle claimed to have seen a Yowie between Braidwood and the coast. They said it was a shaggy creature walking upright, standing at a height of at least 2.1 meters tall, with disproportionately long arms and no neck. There you go.

I think it's interesting that there's big foots everywhere. Like every culture has a big foot. Yeah, which must mean they're real. It's real. Yes. No smoke without fire. That's what I think. All right, we're coming to the end of our questions here.

Kyle writes, dear Bunte and monster guests, what real documented animal should probably be reclassified as a crypted slash monster. I say baboons, but don't let this influence your answer. For me it's almost anything from the ocean. Hey, you ask me, I think it should be humans. Yeah. Yeah. The real monster.

The real monsters. And if you don't think that's true, have a look yeah, that's so. The real monsters. Uh, and if you don't think that's true, have a look at history. That's right. Yeah. Check out a book or two. Try checking out a mirror. Yeah. Whoa.

Jesus. It's strong. Yeah, but probably wizards. I guess for me. Have you guys seen what a, I'm not saying all chimpanzees should be reclassified, but have you guys seen what a picture of a shaved chimp looks like? Oh yeah, I don't even know that was possible. Oh yeah, no, if you look at them, those things are demons. Oh no! Yeah, they're, also when you look at pictures that you understand why like they can like, like why we're built

of played out of them. Like, it's insane. Honestly, to any of the listeners, literally do yourself a terror or favor and just Google the two words shaved chimp. And you will see actual demons. They look like, they look like some of those nasty, like French gargoyles on the side of buildings and stuff like that, in both the sense of being having their little,

being all gray with horrible leering faces and also appearing to be carved from stone. Yeah. They look like, they look like monsters from like a gritty reboot of a Ray Harry has a movie. Yeah, there's this one particular shave chimps I forgot his name but there's oh it was Mongo yeah he has like this big throat tum this big throat tumor or something and he particularly I don't want to be mean to Mongo he's probably just as nice as any other he's he's dead. He's dead. He won't well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not th. I'm not. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm not. I'm not. as any other. He's dead. So he won't care. All right. Well, I'm not trying to put disrespect on Mongo's name, I guess, but he looks really

a practical effect. He does. I don't like a really demonic face on this guy. He looks like he's from VHS. He's smiled. I don't like it. Yeah. Well, so yeah, that's my pick for a real life animal that should be. All th. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Like th. th. to be to be to be th. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. to be to be to be to be that to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the to be to be to be their. He's not. He's not. He's not. He's not. He's not. He's not. He's not. He's not. He's not. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. I the the th. He's th. He's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. He's not. I the th. I the th. He's not. I th. He's not. I the the the the the the the the the the the th. from VHS. He's smiling. I don't like it. Yeah. Well, so yeah, that's my pick for a real life animal that should be reclassified as crypted. That's fair. Giant, giant squid maybe for me? Yeah, sure. Any large sea animal is terrified. They went cryptid to a real animal.

Yeah, we went from being like, no, that's that's bullshit. Crackens aren't real to being like, oh, colossal squid of 15 meters long. I think it was 2003 or 2006, one of those two years that we like got actual bona fide footage of them. Yeah, there was like one in like a Japanese harbor in like the early 2000s that they saw. Yeah. Don't like like like it like it like it like like like it like like like like it like like like. tha like. th like. th like. th like. th like. th like. th like. th like. th like. th like. thi. thi. thi. that. that. that. that. that that that that. that. thi. th. that. that. that that that that that that th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For me, every time I think about how big emperor penguins are compared to people, like, so they're three foot tall. They're like a meter tall, basically bang on. Which is not, you know, they're half the height of a person, but that's too big for a penguin.

When I picture a penguin in my head, penguins are like 10 inches tall. Like that's, that's fucked up. That's far too too big. Oh shit. A bird should not be that large. Penguin should be like a large bottle of coke, is that what you say? Maximum. Like two liter bottle of coke, absolute max. I feel like in my mental image of a penguin, like I'd be able to give him a swift kick and then it's over if we were to fight to the death. But with an Emperor Penguin, I think you still are going to win in a fight to the death, but not by as much as would be nice to think. Not a single perfect to like tow of your shooter with skull. Yeah.

It's like any, I'm, wow, they are. Wow, that's that's a. That's a. That's a. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's a. that's. that's. that's. that's a. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's a. That's a. That's a. That's a little beast man. Yeah. It's like any time you consider, you know, in movies when somebody like strangles somebody else to death and they go, ah, and the other person goes, and then it's like kind of over. And any time that people talk about how long it actually takes somebody to die when someone else is strangling them. And they're like, no, it's like minutes of time. I th that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the difference that's the difference the difference the difference that's the difference the difference the difference the difference that's the difference the difference that's that's that's thi difference thi difference thi, thi the difference the difference thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's tean. the the the the the the the the the thi. th. And they're like, no, it's like minutes. It's like minutes of time. I think that's the difference between the tiny penguin and and killing the emperor penguin. Yeah. You're doing the whole scene from No Country for Old Man when he's on the floor with the cop and the handcuffs, but you're doing to a penguin. Yeah.

Yeah. Little jets of blood, squirting out. All th I I I I I I I going to have time to do a speed round of a beloved segment on the show. But this is our final question, which will take us right into it. What cryptic do you think would be the most satisfying to smash to death with a lead pipe? And that of course brings us to the segment with a lead pipe. With a lead pipe. With a lead pipe. She's mighty angry. Ready to start a fight. With a lead pipe.

She's seeing red. She's swinging lead. Gonna hit you in the hand. Yeah. She's seeing red, she's swinging lead. Gonna hit you in the hand, yeah. Lead pipe time. Uh, Kai, do you have any cryptids on monsters that you think would feel great to smash with a lead pipe? Um, is the implication that I kill them with that? Uh, yeah, I think so. I mean, like, maybe ideally, yeah. God's enough.

For the sense of achievement. Yeah, I just took it out. It's going to be so much longer than the Emperor Penguin. Yeah, oh my gosh. Actually, though I was thinking about this in thethe car earlier and I think I would like to smash a Myer lurk from fallout Anything just like anything with like a with like a you know a hard and then a soft I think I'd go I'd go for a crustaceous guy or Godzilla for the implications that I'm killing it because that's that would be fucking sweet

You just jump 1,000 feet in the air and go You could coast on that for a while. Yeah, just like probably the rest of your life being like I actually killed Godzilla with a single blow with a lead pipe. Yeah, actually so yeah wasn't a big doubt for me, but you know, I did it. It's kind of cool, I guess. That was called like a Saturday for me, but I mean, I guess for you it was also called Saturday, but we had like different kinds of Saturdays. Yeah, like one where I killed Godzilla perfectly.

Whatever. No big deal. I don't even want to talk about it really. Any other ones on your list? Okay, I guess Pennywise has been on my mind lately because we did an episode on him and I'm also just a big Stephen King fan. So I really like Pennywise, think about him all the time anyways. But Pennywise when he's a baby version of himself at the end of the second part of, like the, the 2019 it sequel. Yeah. And he's all goopy.

It would, you know, that's cool. He's got a lot of different forms you could hit him in. You could hit him in his too many teeth when he's in too many teeth mode, you know. Oh, all the teeth go flying. Yeah, oh my god. Like you're just shattering a pile of porcelain crockery, you know? It's doing that thing from that horrible fucking movie. Was it wanted?

Was that what it was called? Where you know, he smacks the keyboard and Pratt that he's hitting in the face of this keyboard I saw that movie when I was like 17 years old and I shall not be revisiting it Oh boy all right what about you Ben I prepared shortlist here I did have history's greatest monster Adolf Hitler but you preempted that, so fuck you. The really little smooth proto-Zenomorph from Prometheus. Oh yeah, that's at the end. It's like a teenage xenomorph, but it's gray.

That thing I reckon we just have a great pipe feel, really. It doesn't look solid, you know? I feel like that would be a lot of fun. The fully transformed fly from the fly, the Brunel fly. You're doing everything on my list man. Yeah, fuck you. I have Seth Brundle from the fly once he's gone fully fly. Yeah, boy you don't want to do a partial transformation, there's a man in there. No, and like he would he'd complain while it was happening and he's kind of he's falling apart at that point anyway when his ears dropping off and everything.

He'd look at you with those eyes. Why are you doing this to me? Whereas the flyer just look at you. Well this is my goops. Please my goops. When he's full fly though, crunch, you know? The pale man from Pan's labyrinth. Fuck! Oh yeah, that'd be a great kind of clobber. Yeah. That is a good one. On his eye hands in particular.

He's coming in them. I'm just pink. You know, I feel like he wouldn't actually stand that much of a chance. Every time he he tries he he he he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's th. th. th. thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' to to to be to be time he tries to get his eyes, you just whack the back of his hands with the pipe. I'm genuinely mad, Ben. This is everything on my list so far. All right, let's see, if you had this one. The awful insect human hybrid thing from the movie Splice. Oh, Dren, I believe the character was called because

it's nerd backwards and because there are a couple of nerds that made it and they're making nerd. That's a horrible very uncomfortable movie. That is such a nasty creature. That's a really good nasty monster. It is the one that looks like a woman but like also a monster. It's like a xenomorph with jugs kind of. Yeah. Which a lot of people are into. I know, I've heard. Heaps of them.

Tons of them. It's just very, I hated that movie. That movie made me feel gross from having seen it. And I don't think I've seen it in like 14 years. Oh, that's the end of my list. Have you got anything left on yours, Andrew? Not really. Yeah.

My list was, well see my list was a xenomorph from aliens, but like a full-sized one, but I was gonna throw the question to the room. Do we think that that's too solid to get busted up at that point? Like is the car-is on a fully grown xenomorph able to be busted with a pipe? Or is it like prawn shell? Where it was sort of give a little bit. Like a big crab shell, you know, like I was saying, hard then soft. I will say if you do manage to get through it you are ruining your pipe. Yeah you want to get one those th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to th. to to to get the to get their, to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to, their, to get to get, to get, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. I, the c. I, the c. I, the c. I, the they. I, they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the c. the the c. the the care. the care. the care. the c. the c. the c. I will say if you do manage to get through it, you are ruining your pipe. True. Yeah, you want to get one of those acid-proof pipes. Yeah, you do. I think that it's probably soft then hard than soft. Yeah. I think that's true. So besides, pale guy from Panse Labyrinth, Seth Brundle, from the fly. I just had the mummy as well like either the old Universal's Monster, Universal Monsters one or the

version from Monster Squad because he you would just obliterate him with like a home run strike, you know. You have definitely included this on a lead pipe list before on this podcast. The mummy, yeah and specifically that mummy. And I will add to the end of my list the monster from Basket Case. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, yeah sure. Because it like he doesn't even seem to be able to get out of the basket so that's free money. He fucks the money. Now we're talking. It's awesome. My list, I had just a big, huge number one, like eclipses everything else by a huge amount

for me is ET. We've been over ET. Oh yeah, we've been over ET. I'm sure that you guys have, but that's like, yeah. I think we started this segment. Think about it every day in my life yeah God it'd be so good just as easy Mike down in the middle of his head yeah that is um like like like Ben was actually the origin of this segment was Lucy talking about how

much she would like to bash eaty with a pipe that's awesome one of the most pipe bashable things ever invented yeah invented. Imagine he's reaching out his little glowing finger to it, and you just, and you want him right in the middle of his arm. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Another one I had was, um, Pikachu, but the old Pikachu from like the 90s where he's like round.

Yeah, you just go flying like a soccer ball. You go like, boing! Yeah, probably like bounce away. But he's psycho, man. You'd fucking hit him with a lead pipe and he'd shock you. That's true. He'd put you in hospital like you did to ash multiple times. Fog. Okay, and then my last one's Yoda.

He is a monster. Or baby one. Normal one or baby one? I actually have both, but... You're doing wielding. You have two lead pipes and you hit both adult and baby Yoda at the same time? Yeah. I think adult... Hit one into the other? Exactly, yeah. I think adult... Play Yoda might be too soft and it would feel a little too cruel, I think. Whereas normal Yoda, it's that guy's time. You know, he's like 900 years old or something. Yeah, you're done to help. Why do you say 900 or something when he is exactly 900 years old? Like try to play it off like you don't know.

I truly don't know. That's amazing. That's amazing? That's so lazy if they made him 900 years old instead of like 976 or something? He's 902. 1002. Oh, what the fuck? What the fuck? Yep. And it's not even like he's roughly 900.

He is literally on the button 900. He was born 896 years before the Battle of Yavin and he died four years after the Battle of Yavon. He is 900 years old. That's so fucked up. At least do 901. He is 899. He almost made it.

He almost got a letter from the Queen. Yeah. Baby Yoda, he's a baby, but if I had been like... It's like 50. Yeah. If I'd been broken down on like a swamp planet and this little dude was just fucking with me for like two weeks, you know? And then he's like, oh, psych, just keeps like stealing your snacks and then like kidding you. And be like, ah, fuck you, fuck you, and you're like, I don't know what you are or why you're doing this. That's a great Yoda.

It does kind of beg the question, because he is doing like the, um, the classic sort of, um, like Mr. Miyagi type martial arts teacher thing of, I'm gonna act like I'm a, I'm a bit of a dickhead who doesn't know anything about this, and then I'm gonna prove to you, or like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, the, to, to, the, the, th. th. to, th. to, th. th. to, to, to, to, to, thi, thi, thi, to thi, thi, thi, is, is thi, is thi, is thi, is th, is th, is th, is the the the the the th, is the the the the the the the th is is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi is thi, is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is toe is toe is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi, is thi is thi then I'm going to prove to you or like Jackie Chan in rush hour when he he just doesn't talk for the first five or ten minutes until Chris Tucker goes wait you can speak English and he goes now who's the fool you know but it kind of it requires it requires yoda to act like a fuckwit for ages first I think it is sort of implied that he just genuinely enjoys being a dick as well. I think he's just like that. They bring it back in like Last Jedi where he's like watching, he sets the fucking thing

on fire with all of the like ancient Jedi texted or whatever and he's just laughing his ass off and he's like, ah, you think those are good? They're actually bad, fuck you. Have you guys seen Kung Fu Panda? Yes, yes. Do you remember the little wise guy who was like the little, you know, wise trainer guy who's like, he's the Yoda of that of that movie? Are we talking the turtle or the red panda? No, the little red panda.

There's a scene where he's stealing Jack Black's dumplings really really swiftly. And I would I would love to clobber that little guy guy. that guy that guy that guy. That that guy. That that guy that guy. That that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. the the thi. thi. thi. thi. Doa. Doe is thi. the is thi. Doi. Doi. Doi. Doe is thi. Doe is thi. Doe is thi. Doe is thi. Doe is th. Doe is th. Doe is th. Doe is th. Doe is th. Doe is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the the the the the the the toe the the the toe the theauuuuuui thea thean. Doeanea thea the the the the the the and I would I would love to clobber that little guy and that made me so mad as a kid watching him steal dumplings from Jack black as a bandit. Those are his dumb fucking dumplings. That was so mean. It just all this Yoda talk reminded me of that he's just like these little wise old dicks you got to thump him with a pipe. Yep. Another legendary silver screen performance from Dustin Hoffman. That's right. Was that Dustin Hoffman?

It was Dustin Hoffman. Oh my gosh. Oh boy. Well, I think that that is all we have time for. Fellows, thanks for joining us. Thank you guys tons. So I believe people can find uh... Monster Crazy on all of the old

podcast platforms, yeah? Yes, yeah. You can also follow us on Twitter at Monster Crazy pod. Since it's still new, it might be hard to find in some of the search stuff, but it is on like Spotify and Apple Podcasts and there's a link on the Twitter. You can just listen to it there if you can't find it by searching. Yeah, thank you guys tons. Listen to monsters. Think about monsters, you know?

Do a little more thinking about monsters in your life. Watch the movie Monsters from 2011. It's a great fucking movie. Go crazy. Watch the movie Monster. Starring Charlie is Theron. No, it's the wrong kind of one. And I'll stick some links to Kai's art stuff in the old episode description and of course you find Cameron on podcast about List as well. True, but you won't like that, it sucks. Don't even bother. They hardly even mention a monster once.

We don't even care, we don't even try. Oh, I hate it. Oh, I'm so mad you brought it up. Uh, delete that pot, delete that pot. Folks, thank you for joining us, and we'll see everybody next time. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Here comes Amos. Now Amos Moses was a Cajun, he lived by himself in the swamp. They hunted alligator for living.

He just knock him in the head with the storm. The loser out of the law gonna get yamers. It ain't legal hunting alligator down in the swamp boy. Now everybody blamed his old man for making him mean as a snake. When Amos Moses was a boy-head daddy would use him for alligator bait. Tie rope around his waist and throw him into swamp. For alligator bade in the Louisiana bay, in the Louisiana towards. About 45 minutes southeast of Tippido, Louisiana.

Luzina lived a man called Doc Mills, South and his pretty wife, and off. Well, they raised up a son that could eat up his wedding groceries. Named him after a man of the cloth, called him Amos Moses. Yeah. Now all the folks around South Louisiana said Amos was a hell of a man. He could trap the biggest, the penis to alligator, and just use one hand. That's all he got left called the alligator biddy. Left thumb gun clean up to their bow.

Well, the sheriff got wind and Amos was in the swamp trapping alligator skin. So it snook in the swamp going to get the boy, but he never come out again. Well, I wonder where the Louisiana shelf went to. Well, you can show get lost in the Louisiana by yellow. About 45 minutes southeast, the tip of Louisiana. Here the cat called Doc Mill South and his pretty wife Hannah. Well, he raised up a son that could eat up his wedding groceries. Named him after a man of the clock.

Call him Amos Moses. Set out on the maimus. Make it count, son. About 45 in the southeast to Tipidoo, Louisiana.