Boonta Vista - EPISODE 234: Elevated To Smut (with Guy Montgomery)

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

Andrew and Ben are joined by comedian and Worst Idea of all Time host Guy Montgomery for an installment of the Shipping Report, plus: Mysterious Dutch river skulls and the wanking Pompeii guy. *** Guy's upcoming Sydney and Melbourne shows: https://www.instagram.com/p/CY2g94PPZyW/ The Worst Idea of all Time: https://www.worstideaofalltime.com/about.html *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Budavista, episode 234. I am Ben and I'm here in a perfectly ordinary laboratory in Wuhan China sometime in 2019. With me is Andrew, who is doing perfectly ordinary science stuff in a perfectly ordinary scientific laboratory. Hi Andrew. Hey, what's up? You ever do science with your eyes close? No, I just do ordinary science here. I like to try and do it by feel.

Hmm, shouldn't. You never do vibe science? Nope. Just a perfectly ordinary scientist doing ordinary science type stuff. Nothing. Nothing untoward. Also with us, preparing to both invent and release the novel coronavirus. Stand-up comedian, worst idea of all-time host and taskmaster NZ contestant, Guy Montgomery.

Guy, no! Oh no! What do you go to? I can't help myself. I just love mucking around with these Petri dishes. What do you go to if you want it? I can't help myself. I just love mucking around with these Petri dishes. This guy gets it. This guy's doing vibe science. Yeah, anything's possible when you use your mind.

That is the poster we have up inside this lab for certain. I know, I know. Oh yeah, you really, I will say this for you, Ben. You've really done me dirty there. I might have, yeah, I might have stitched you up a little tiny bit there and I apologize for that. But I do, I just want to clarify, before we get into anything, could you just, like, for, once and for all, let's just clear this up.

It's been a couple of years. How do you you you you you you you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi, I thi, I tho, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm tho, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I was thi, I was thi, I'm thi, I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, I th just clear this up. It's been a couple of years. How do you feel about the double-crow device? You against it? I was one of the first Twitter users to go on the record as as being against it. I just feel like I've seen a lot of people say stuff to the contrary. Ah, yeah, but you can't listen to them, you've got to listen to me. So one of the first things I said th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the the the the the to thi. to the to thi. thi. thi. got to listen to me. So one of the first things I said is I think this this will cause problems and it will inconvenience many to varying levels for a long time. And I didn't say it exactly like that initially, but that was the energy I was putting out. And I've been unwavering. And it doesn't matter how many people bring me doctored tweets saying that I've been pro. I know where I stand where I the few the few the few the few the few the few. It's the few. It's the few. It's the few the few. It's the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. th. I'll will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the thi. It's the the the theea. It's the the the the theeean. the the the teean. the the tean. the the tean. the the thean. thean. thean thean thean. tweets saying that I've been pro, I know where I stand, it's one of the few, you know, it's one of the few sureties in my life. This is an ongoing policy. I feel like I've seen a few probably since deleted tweets.

I've seen screenshots of them of you saying, I support the novel coronavirus. I just, I don't know. Probably said something like I support the Wellington Phoenix. And what some nasty bastard has done is they've used, I don't know, preview or whatever photoshopping app they have to to change Wellington Phoenix to novel coronavirus. I will say this I've written one joke about the coronavirus. Can I perform it for you? I would love that very much. People keep calling this thing the novel coronavirus. Am I the only person

who thinks the novelty has well and truly worn off? You know I'm the only person who thinks the novelty has well and truly worn off? You know, I'm sick of this thing. You're probably the first person to find some sort of word play in the use of the word novel isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. One of the first. And I'm being only to believe that you're bringing this incredible stand-up

comedy to Australia, the country that we're in. That's right, I am abstaining from Brisbane. Yes, in a piece of shit. Out of respect for both Ben and Andrew, you don't have to find a reason to not buy a ticket. But I will be in Melbourne for the Melbourne Comedy Festival and Sydney for less nights during the Sydney Comedy Festival, God willing. I'm not, um, like I've, I've booked my, you know, I've got everything booked but I just, everything feels so uncertain in these wacky times that until I'm on the ground and holding a microphone and using my iconic novel coronavirus opener, I just don't believe it's going to heaven. But yeah, I mean, don't let them stop you from buying tickets,

please I beg of you. I've been doing a lot of that lately where I keep listing events and telling people, definitely buy tickets, but there's a fair chance you will get refunded for it at some point. But who knows? Think of it as a, like a bond deposit and it could grow into something beautiful, like money. It could grow into something beautiful, like money had now, you having a gain, I guess. It's not just surprised money that you didn't know that you would have. Yeah. I've bought myself a couple of treats with like gigs that got refunded.

Where I've been like, oh, $70 just went back in my account. That's right. I'm waiting on $110 to drop right now. I bought tickets to a music festival this weekend. It's been cancelled. It got cancelled the day after I bought the ticket. I've not told you... Straightaway you're like, oh free money! Yeah, oh my god. I think I still have like 60 bucks floating in the ether to go and see the waves like 10th anniversary of whatever that first album he did was to her and this was in like early 2020 I think and they're just like oh just, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, just like, just like, just like, tod, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, I, I, I, I, I'll, I'll, I'll, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, th did was to her and this was in like early 2020 I think and they're just like oh just we'll hold on to your ticket for when that

comes back around again I'm like it's been a while I don't know if you are gonna come back around again yeah don't worry about that we'll we'll do the show and you'll you'll be able to come see it. I don't even know if I want to go anymore. I've had some time to think about it. In the interim you've found out that Waves as a landlord, right? I have, yeah, many, we think I've got very upset at people on the internet when they were like, hey, that's not very punk rock of you. Do you know, I remember when people out at Hannibal Burris as a landlord, landlord. Oh, that was a whole day. I loved his response, which was like, yeah, I'm a landlord. Shut the fuck up, fuck you. I was like, if people are going to get you for something, you know, you got these options,

which are, you know, sort of weird deference or, you know, you got my, like, total ownership will nearly always, it might lead you to being redpilled and making some bad decisions down the line but at least, you know, you don't have to live in fear of being discovered for the rest of the day, I guess. Well, there was, there was that brief, a brief furor on Twitter a day or two ago of Damon Alburn from, from Blur saying, and Guerrilla's saying in an interview, oh, you know, I don't consider Taylor Swift like the same kind of songwriter as Billy Elish or whatever. And Taylor Swift's doing what she loves to do, which is then immediately going to her 11 billion Twitter followers and saying, this man was mean to me.

And he like an hour later was like, hey, nope, didn't mean that. Sorry, I respect you a lot. Sorry, sorry about your feelings or whatever. And I did see a few people saying, oh, I can't respect that. You've got to. That's a sign of weakness. I'll respect that. You just got to say, fuck you, Taylor Swift fans.

Yeah, fuck that. Although, maybe that's a different kind of kettle of fish, the Taylor Swift fandom, you know? I think, yeah, but it represents the same thing, right? Which is never swerving from something you've said once for fear of showing a bended knee to the bloody online Twitterarty who are all they want to do is get someone's ass. The horrid teens of the the the the the the the the the teens of teens of teens of teens of teens of teens of teens of teens of teens of teens of teens of teens teens. teens. teens. teens. tee. tee. tee. tee. tee. tee. tee. than' than' than' thae. thae. ttax. ttax. ttax. ttax. ttax. ttax. ttax. ttax. ttax. ttax. ttax. toy. I toy. I te. I te. I te. Yeah. It te. Yeah. Yeah. It te. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. t want to do is get someone's ass. The horrid teens of the world. It feels nice. Tins are on Twitter big time.

Getting an ass. Once you finally got one, you're like, ooh, getting someone to delete something or apologize. Goodness gracious. What a feeling of power. I don't think I've ever gotten an ass. I don't think I've purely had my ass got either, except for the start of this podcast when you got my ass. Except for the coronavirus stuff.

I mean that's no based on your actions. Now, oh boy. I thought we would maybe start off this episode with arguably a fan favorite segment of this podcast. It's sort of just a bit of a bit of time off for you because you you know stand up comedian you're always writing jokes you're always thinking about jokes this is an entirely joke-free segment. Oh wow. It will be pilloried if anyone makes any jokes in it will be like before it starts we need to really strongly discourage you from making jokes during

the segment. Oh dear and I know your comedy instincts will kick in because that's who you are one of one of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. to. too. too. too. too. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool is. tool is. tool is. tool is tool is tools. tools. tools. tool. tool. tool. tooe. tooe. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. t know your comedy instincts will kick in because that's who you are. You're one of the jokers, one of the mad ones. You've heard me, my tools are sharp. I'm ready to go. But try and refrain if you can. It is of course time for the shipping report. I'm itching for another edition of the shipping report. All right the shipping report is where I read to you all of the news the news the news the news the news the news the news the news the news the news the news the news the news the news the news the news the news the news the news the news the news from the news from the news from the the the the the the the jokers the jokers. the jokers the jokers the jokers. My jokers. My the jokersers. My the jokersers. My the jokers. My the jokers the jokers the jokers the jokers the j. My the shipping report. All right, the shipping report is where I read to you all of the news from International Shipping from the last week with all of the stories where someone died removed. Yeah, and that's most of the stories. Yeah, that's a large, certainly a large portion of them this week. That's the two promises about this segment, joke-free, fatality-free. Yeah, okay. No, that's the lafts. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's crue that's crue. That's crue. That's c. That's c. That's c. That's c. That's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too. too. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tooome. Ia fatality-free. Yeah. Okay. No, that's so laughs.

That's cruel because it does feel like if you remove the fatalities, you've left yourself a lot of runway for jokes, but, alas! Yeah, you'd think. Rules are rules. No idea who came up with them, but we must enforce them and abide by them. Okay, well, I sure hope, sort of, there are no there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there Pratt Falls or minor incidents that would lend themselves to you know japery because God knows it'll be tough to resist but you go ahead Ben to you. There's no funny names. Yeah. The general cargo ship Manasa Rose M ran a ground off the island of Crete subsequently breaking in half. That's no good. That's a shame. You need like ideally all of the boat in one piece.

You want, yeah. Yeah, I would agree with that. And that's not a joke. No, no. If somebody said to me, hey I need advice, should my boat be in one piece or two pieces? Easy answer. Wow, you say, are we discussing a catamaran? Technically still one piece, but two bits. Two holes. Don't get you startled on tri-marans. I think, um, suggesting a boat should be a one piece, while not a joke, it's almost a truism.

We would assume that most people would agree with that. That's true. But sometimes in the absence of jokes, you have to result of trueism. Just the truth. Just the truth. Wow. I'm doing a good job of keeping a straight face so far. And our thoughts are with the both the people on board and on the island of Crete. That is certainly true. the roll Roll-on Roll-Rol-Off-Ferry Admiral Bay 3 crashed into sailing yachts in the port of Bridgetown in Barbados. It's one of the last things we wanted to happen there. Yeah. That's a whole other segment. The Dutch General Cargo Vessel Eames, EXE, crashed into a pier in the German port of Vismar. So these are all non-failed boat crashes?

That's right, there are no doubts. Well, it's not always a crash. It's not always a crash. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Is there any like sort of mishaps with cargo? they took bananas? There are actually a few cargo mishaps coming up. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that you, that youthought they were taking pineapples but they took bananas? There are actually a few cargo mishaps coming up, not that exact situation that you've described.

Sometimes, sometimes they get to the other end and they realize they've lost a shipping container. That's a fun one. Yeah. They count them all up and they go, ooh. Oh, nice. Scrap metal in the hold, the the hold, at caught fire while the vessel was in the Spanish port of Montreal. Court. Yes Andrew.

Court fire? Yeah. Scrap metal? Yes, that's right. Okay. Like, I don't know. I mean, I've, I've held a lighter up to a bit of metal before, not much action. Well, many of them's flannable, flannable, flannable. Yeah. It might have been aluminium, I'm not an expert. Nothing to add. Yeah, and next time I have nothing to add I won't even say it, I'll just be quiet.

Let us know, the Norwegian. People at home the th th th th th then, I then, I thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thus thus thus thus thus. I thus. I thus. I thus. I thus. I'm thus. I don't thathea. I'm th. th. thia flanananan. Flan. Flan. Flan. Flan. Flan. Flan. Flan. Flan. Flan. Flan. Flan. Flan. Flan. Flan. Fl. Fl. Fl. Fl. Fl. Fl. Fl. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thea. thea. th. to. to. I to. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. Flanan. Okay. The Norwegian people at home are probably want to is his mic on. Yeah, you know I don't want to distress any listeners. I mean this is just interesting enough segment as it is without not knowing whether or not my mic is working. This is by far our worst segment it is by far my favorite. I mean that's the problem with the podcast it's an audio medium you know. It's not visual. They can't tell you you could be the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the people the people the people the people that that's that's that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. that that. that. that. the the the the the the the the thou. I th. th. the. thou. th. th. the. the. I that's that's that's that's th problem with the podcast. It's an audio medium, you know? It's not visual. They can't tell. You could be talking away, mouth moving. They'd be at home, they'd be none the wiser.

The Norwegian Afro-Max crude oil tanker, Irviken, suffered a mechanical issue while preparing to transit the Strait of Bosphorus. Hmm. at the Strait of Bosphorus. Mmm. What's good, like, at least it didn't happen halfway through. That's true. Is this, who's the moderator of the site? These are all specific but also delightfully vague. So these have been paraphrased by me from a much, much more detailed bulletin. I see.

All done by a man whose name is Mikhail Voitenko on the website Maritime Bulletin. He's a massive COVID conspiracist, so a lot of these posts, he's ranting about how ships getting quarantined and stuff and saying how it's all made up and how the real pandemic is so-called vaccine. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, I don't think it's true. Ben's edited out all the parts that say, the New World Order tried to stop a German ship from coming in, you know.

Yeah. Actually, that was one of the stories this week, essentially was about how another ship had to go on to quarantine and how it's a long one in a series of, you know, new world order government shit. But he is very good at detailing maritime incidents, so thank you, COVID-conspiracist Mikhail Voitenko. Appreciate that. Keep his ear to the... And just... I mean, look, I know all we retreating familiar ground or as it may be in the segment of water for the diehards. No jokes, please. And for the hosts, not a joke. just a turn of phrase, a harmless turn of phrase, your choice to laugh is yours alone.

Yep. I, how- Not exercising it at this time? Yeah, and I respect that. How would a fellow like Ben come across a guy like Mikhail? Because surely there are other sort of more, you know, shipping updates from people with whom you might be more ideologically aligned. What I really respect about this segment is, you know, is the source, is the lack of humor. And I suppose the trimming of the information and the, you know, the person from whom you're

getting it. You're just divorcing it from anything except raw data. Yes, that's right. That's what the shipping report's all about. It might become riffable if there was too much to go on in there. I don't want to run the risk. Don't tempt fate. Very well. I apologize for interrupting as you were.

Thank you very much. Both for the apology and for allowing me to continue. The Norwegian coaster Bugan Fjord developed a heavy list in the Katagat Sea area off the coast of Denmark. Great name. Tough time for ships in Norway. Yeah, that's true. A load of Russian wheat in the hold of the Japanese bulk carrier Royal Jade caught fire while the vessel was in the Pakistani port of Karachi. It seems like a really quite a common issue to be

surrounded by water while your vessel bursts in a flame. We've discussed this before the cruel irony of being a fire at sea. Yeah. Water, water everywhere, and I am on fire. Yeah, they, there were a few iterations of that. It's a shame that that one didn't take off. Because I hate that drop to drink shit. You know, I miss the days of buying my wheat direct from the boat. Yeah, no, I just go down down the day the day the day the day the day the day the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the water, the water water water water water water, their water, I'm their water, I'm their water, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the the the their water, water, water, water, water, water, water, water, water, water, water, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I'm thathea. I'm thatheathea. I'm thathea, I'm thathea, I'm thathea. that. that. that. that. that. that, that, that, that, that, water, that, the. that. that. that, that from the boat. Mmm. No, I just go down... Getting the mornings catch.

Yeah, no, I go down to the shops like a fucking idiot. These days people just buy bread pre-made instead of waking up early to go down to the harbour, and that's really sad. Ooh, I was doing the groceries today, right? Hell you're all right. Here comes grocery chat. I was doing the groceries today and Charlie or basket. There was the trolley.

Full shop, family shop. I place this. Planning the week's meals and everything, you know. As if you've got a hard copy of your list or is it on a phone? It is on a phone. How do you cross it off? Well, on the iPhone notes app, you can use a little checklist thing and then you can just tick them off as you're satisfying.

As you get them, you know. So I was like, oh, we got some broccoli. The broccoli is what, $9 a kilo or something. How's the broceline by comparison? And the brocalini was just like $3 a bunch, but didn't say anywhere how much it weighed. And I took it over over over over over over over over over over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it over it. the broccoli it, the the the broccoli the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the broccoli. the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the brocalini was just like $3 a bunch, but didn't say anywhere how much it weighed. And I took it over and I put it in one of the grocery store scale things, which I have not used in so many, many moons. And it made me feel like going to the market in the olden times, you know?

I would love to take my basket down and say fill this with wheat from the hold. We it up on these scales the scale the scale the scale the scale the scale the scales the scales the scales the scales. the scales. the scales. In the scales. In the scales. In the scales. I scale. I scale. I scale. I the scale. I the scale, the scale, the scale, the scale, the scale, the scale, the scale, the scale, the their, their, their, their, their. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the, the. the. the. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm, the. I'm, the, the. the, the. too. the. too. the. too. the.coo. too. the. the. the. too. the, the, the, the, the, the, the. take my take my basket down and say fill this with wheat from the hold weigh it up on these scales and tell me how much it costs. You don't see people using the scales anymore? Exactly nobody touches the scales because now everything like you know they sell you the you get you get your apples or your tomatoes or whatever and they're like in a little cardboard the basket you know, you you go the thou-you th you the th you th you th you th you the th you th you th you the th you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their te te. ta. taughea.ea. tea. tea. tea. tea. teauaua. teaua. tea miss the days of taking my basket down to the the docks and getting to fill it up with loose wheat and watching just scores of wheat streaming through the holes in the basket and saying saying screaming at the top of my lungs there's got to be a better way My weeds kids these days wouldn't understand that and that's that's quite that's quite that's that's that's that's that's that's quite that's quite that's quite that's quite that's quite that's quite that's quite that's quite that's quite the that's quite the that's quite the the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thy. I's quite thi. I's toda's today. I's today's today's today's today. I's today's thiiii. My weeds! Kids these days wouldn't understand that, and that's quite tragic. They wouldn't. They know nothing about it, Gen Z, you know?

They know nothing about like screaming at your friends to cut their hands under the basket and catch all the wheat they can. I call them a gin zzzzzzzzz, because they're so boring, they send me straight to freaking sleep. So Sydney and Melbourne, people can... Yeah. I've already burned the first 15 minutes in the podcast, but I close strong. There's the novel coronavirus joke and the Gen Z joke and those two take 15 months. I make them last long. You start by going around the room and asking everyone what they're having to drink.

Where you from? Not offering, like a commentary on the drink, just moving straight onto the next person. Just collecting data. This is just for my own reason. Yeah. Moonlight is a comedian, but my passion is stats. Just doing a brief survey. I will do some jokes at the top and the bottom but the middle part really about data harvesting. It's mainly going to be stats. What I like is all of the jokes we've made have been unrelated to these minor shipping crises. So we're still, our hands are clean. Yeah, I think by the rules that we've th, it th, it th, it, it, it's th, it's th, it's th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the thi, the the the the the thee, the to these minor shipping crises so we're still, our hands are clean. Yeah, I think by the rules that we've set we might be fine, but we will find out in the subsequent days from the emails that we receive.

Oh yeah, people will let us know. They are vocal about this one. The Norwegian product tanker, the polar Viking ran ground outside Trump's airport in Norway. Again, more strife in Norway. Great name. We have at least one Norwegian listener. I hope you're doing okay over there. That's, that is coming close to my favorite name for a ship that we've come across in

this segment. Polar Viking. That's really good. It has not topped Ionic hawk. That is my favorite we've ever had to date. Yeah. th. th. th. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the tank. Great. Great. Great, great. Great, great. Great, great. Great, great. Great, great the tank tank tank tank the the the the the the the to the to the to to to to to, Polar Viking. That's really good. It is, it has not topped Ionic Hawk. That is my favorite we've ever had to date, yep. But I'm gonna say that's like top three. You might like the next one perhaps. The Polish general cargo ship Tarzan contacted the wall of the Northern Lock at Brunesbutal while transiting the Kiel Canal. Now I don't know if you're a maritime man guy at all. I don't know your history was sailing,

but when they say contacted here, I don't mean they jumped on the bloody phone to speak to the Northern Wall. They've impacted it, they've run into it. Yes. Thank you for clarifying that, because I thought, hold on a second. This doesn't belong in thin thin thin this thi this thi thi thi, this thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th know, an ordinary day on the water, but alas... Unfortunately, no. It's the jargon and the nuance that really sells it.

Now this is the final entry I've got here. Don't tell me it's over just as it's getting started. Sorry to disappoint you. But we are going out with a bang here. This one's quite spicy. The Ukrainian General cargo vessel Iolika was detained at Daccar for carrying undeclared arms. Ooh. Oh. Yeah. Wow.

Now the Ukraine, they're in the news, right? That is certainly true. Not by choice. I won't be going any further than that. I will declare that the end of the shipping report so if anyone wants to make jokes from here on out you are fine. Okay. Guy? I'll bear that in mind. I just don't want to burn my whole show you know before I come over. Accidentally reflexively going into the material that you have prepared. I know it's at the forefront of your mind at the moment.

Constantly. I love that segment. That was a sweet little time. It's, um, we've had complaints. I mean, we've also had lots of praise. So, I, I empathize with both factions of listeners. I mean, you've sort of, you know, in your history as a podcast or a sort of actively chosen things that are arguably belligerent to not only your audience but to your co-host. Like there are, it seems very real moments,

particularly in the first year of the worst idea of all time, where it seemed like a very real friendship was about to deteriorate. Yeah, I think, I don't know, that's undeniably true, but that first season the podcast was we were actually because we were genuinely forging the basis of the friendship moving forward. And, um, because we put ourselves... Yeah, exactly. We put ourselves through challenging scenarios and say, I did feel an onus of responsibility as a co-host of the show to, um... if I saw that Tim, my co-host was at a low ebb, I, as a friend, I felt deep empathy and I wanted to comfort the man, but as a sort of, you know, an adventurer and a co-host of the show, I felt it was my responsibility to poke and prod him until he was feeling deeply antagonized.

I mean, it also really seems like a concept. I was describing the show to my wife today. And she was like, well that doesn't sound very good. Why would anybody do that? I said, I think that's that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show the show. I the show. I the show. I the show. I the the the the the the the the the the the th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thooseooseaste. I thooose. I thoooooose. I thoooooooose. I thoooo' tho tho thoes.today and she was like well that doesn't sound very good why would anybody do that? I said I think that's the point of the show. That is the exact opposite reaction. I remember the first time I like read it described somewhere on like a list of someone's like favorite podcasts from the year or whatever whenever you started whatever the first year was and I was like oh that's actually a fucking perfect idea for a podcast, which you'd, most ideas for podcast you hear them and you go, well that sounds shit. But this was my point though is that I think that it's like a very kind of, it's a really

risky prospect, right? It's a very, it's a Faustian bargain. Where like either, I think in order for it to really work and and to become funnier and funnier and everything thii thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, thi thi thi thi was thi was thi thi thi, thi, thi, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi that's thi that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thou, the thou, the order for it to really work and to become funnier and funnier and everything, you have to go through the punishment of the whole thing, right? I totally agree. And you could very easily do that for some sustained period of time while not finding any success with the show. So I think like, like, obviously it has been very successful, but it's entirely possible that you could have done that and done it for like, you know, eight, ten weeks in a row and been like,

we did. Nobody was listening to this and I hate it so much. This is the thing, this is how it started as no one was listening for it. I think between 20 and 30 weeks we, we had very few, but, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiii, thiiiii, thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, th weeks we had very few, but the belief was... It was pushing through those barriers. Well, there's a few things at play, which is, you know, we've always thought we have more integrity than talent. And so the truth of the torture and the commitment to actually doing the necessary work was at the forefront of the show. And then, it was also also the the the the the the the the the the the thiiiiii that if that if th is that if th is thus thus that if thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus, it was thus, it was thus, it was thus, it was thus, it was thus, it was thus, it was pushing is pushing is pushing is pushing is pushing is pushing is pushing is pushing is pushing is pushing thus, it was thus, it was thus, it was th is th is that if that if that if th, it was that if that if that if the, it was that if that if that if the, that if the, that if we the, the, thrush was at the forefront of the show.

And then it was also the belief that if we watch grown-ups to, you know, enough times, it will become interesting. And we realized that it was a concept that meant that with time, like, you know, people wouldn't need to find out about it the year that we made it. People could find out three years and if we became successful independent from the podcast, it would be a fun thing to trace back and be like, because it lends itself to shock, you know, like the power of accelerating through time where it's like we're doing the same thing once week for a year so you've got 52 episodes. But if you find it, years and years later, you can condense like an entire year of a human life into 52 podcast episodes through the lens of grown-ups too.

But I mean, it's definitely like, it's fascinating really, there's a real Pavlovian response to my friendship with Tim. I feel anxious when he texts me. It's like, it's taken, you know, years off of my life and it's definitely damaged my me in some relationships, but, you know, I'm pretty familiar with some movies. I, I, I did a much, much lower stakes, smaller scale version of this with a friend Riley from the podcast Trash Future. And we, he had been talking for a while about like the TV show Bones.

Just a terrible like forensic procedural kind of thing and he was saying this particular season of this show it just it just gets absolutely off chops it goes completely haywire and we did a series which a the patrons of our show have access to which was like just watching and recapping every episode of season 5 of the TV show Bones. I have never seen another episode of Bones. I love that. And I've never seen another episode after season five. As far as I'm concerned it exists in that total vacuum. I I agree I think those other seasons aren't canon and it might not be true for everyone but it's true for you. to listen as our show show. It's it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's the show the show the show the show the show of of th th of of th th of of th the show th the show the show the show of the show of the show of the show of the show of the show of season the the of of the show of season the tho of tho of of tho thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes, their their their their the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. the, th. th. I th. I th. I th. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their toes. toes. toes. toes. their toes. their their their their theatea, theee. the. total vacuum. I agree, I think those other seasons aren't canon and it might not be true for

everyone but it's true for you. To listen as of our show, it's absolutely true. There was never another episode made. And like I certainly experienced, as someone who was like not a fan of the show outside of that or anything, I absolutely had a bunch of moments where I was like, oh no. Now I have to watch this 40-minute episode of a TV show and pay attention to it. But I mean it's interesting because I am experiencing, Tim and I are experiencing our own version of that currently where we did, so we did Sex in the City for a year, we had sex in the city for a year. And what winds up happening as you do these shows is you just become like a repository for information pertaining to Adam Sandler or Sirius Gopark or whatever. Like if there's any news headline, it's just a ceaseless bombardment of, you know, people linking you to it.

Yeah, because you start looking for anything outside of the core information that you have available to you and it branches off. But we're doing it within just like that now, which is the Sex and the City reboot. The woman is still alive in New York. And she's still alive. I'm like 50 or whatever. Yeah, I'm totally enamored by the season. I'm loving it, just because I spent so long watching these people make the same decisions over and over again. And like the freedom I'm feeling, even though I still disagree with them, and you know, these are not, it's not enjoyable company. You're like, you're like Bill Murray when he wakes up and it's no longer Groundhog Day. Exactly. It's like thi Bill Bill Bill Bill Bill Bill Bill Bill Bill Bill like thiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to thi. to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. I's thi. I's thi. I thi. I's thi. He's like amazing, wonderful, look at you all doing something new. It feels so much like that. I mean you also did subject yourself to an entire

season of watching different installments in a long-running franchise of softcore pornography, which... I knew, I, I, from the outset I knew that was a mistake. I knew, like, before we even watching it, I knew that it was a fun idea that it was a fun idea, it was a fun, it was, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it was a, it was a, it was a, it was a, it was a, it was a, it was a, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was a, it was a, it was a, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it that it that it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it th. It th. It was a thi, it was a thi, it was a thi, it was a thi, it feels thi, it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a thi, it was a outset I knew that was a mistake. I knew it like, before we even watching it, I knew that it was a fun idea that was going to be a long year. And it was, but people really enjoyed it and it was, it was probably, you know, it was, it was, it was, uh, podcast unless expressly said it otherwise, shouldn't be horny. And I thought it was particularly grotesque for us to be watching porn, but people it. to even th, like th, like that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th, I th like thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that that that that that that that that that thu- I thu- I thu- I thu- I thi th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that thateeat that that that thateat that that that that that thi thi thi thi 't be horny, and I thought it was particularly grotesque for us to be watching porn, but people seem to enjoy it. I think even a casual observer could have told you that at the outset, certainly, yes.

Good aren't you for pushing through all concepts. I say casual observer is how I would describe my relationship to my podcast. Are you tired of paying nothing for the same old superior quality free episodes of the Buntavista podcast? Do you want less politics and more content about diarrhea? Our animals gone wild? But you're tired of skipping through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg's film shooter? Well, boy, do I have the offer of a lifetime for you.

That's right, for just five US dollars a month, you too can be a premium VIP member of the Buntavista Patreon. That's right, just five US dollars for all of our bonus episodes. That's over 300 hours of content from the hosts you know and definitely tolerat. I'll even throw in access to our glamorous and exclusive discord server, where bizarre arguments only happen once or twice a week at most. Head to Patreon.com slash Buntavista. Sign up in the next five minutes and I won't know because that's not my job but you'll be enjoying the sweet satisfaction of supporting us and we will love you romantically for it. That's my

promise to you. But at the end of the day isn't that what it's all about our beautiful listeners experiencing the punishment that we deliver to ourselves. Yeah, it is. Andrew, have you got a segue in the tank there? Because I realize I've left you with quite a complicated headline there to try and figure out. Oh boy. And you can pick which of those three segments you'd like this to be. That's up to you. I think I I I think think think thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. And you. And you. And you thi thi that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's that's that's. that's that's that's that's. that's. that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's the that's. the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the an the an the an thean. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the an like this to be. That's up to you. I think I might have one actually. Wait, look, check this out. Okay, let's see.

He's lining up. Yeah. Soft call pornography, what a thing. They don't have that Netherlands. They only have the other kind. It's time for Dutch watch. Everybody, I'm from Holland, isn't that weird? It is weird.

So this is a story from Dutch News.nell the only trusted source in English language Dutch news. Several human skulls... I'm not trusting anything that I read in Dutch. I'll tell you that right now. No, absolutely not. It translated into a non-evil language. Several human skulls founded River, police say not from a recent crime. That's good. These are just classic skulls. Yeah. Wow, you know, these are not recent. Yeah. People were killed, but it's outside of our jurisdiction. Yeah, it's no longer our problem. their time cops. Yeah, what do you think is. their? Well, the time cops. Yeah, the. the time. time. the, the, time, time, the time, time, time, time, time, time, time, the time, the the the the time, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. th. the the the their. their. their. their. they're not recent. Yeah. People were killed, but it's outside of our jurisdiction. Yeah, it's no longer our problem. We're not time cops.

Yeah, what do you, what do you think is the line? Like, what's the... Statute of limitations on skulls and a river? No, more like, more like, when do you look at skulls or a body and say, hey, hey, a murder murder, oh, we're looking at some history. I think it's a different question. For me, as a citizen, I would say that is anybody or any skull. Any skull. If I'm like a forensic scientist or an officer of the law, I reckon probably if the bones

are totally dry, that's none of my business. But if the dry bones clause. Yeah. That's climate dependent though. If someone died in a desert maybe, you could get to dry bones way sooner. It's, if you're a desert cop, you've got like 10 years. If you're a desert cop, it's a much more chill job because you're coming across a lot more sort of just dry skeletons and you're thinking, God damn it, if only I could find who did this, but they got away.

Who knows? Who knows? You know, sometimes, like on the bright side, sometimes the skull has a sombrero on it, and that kind of perks up your day, you know? Yeah, I guess that is one of the positives of being a desert cup. Desert cop. What happens in a bog? What happens if you toss a body in a bog? Oh, I was thinking about that, because there's a couple of places where the flesh would stay

out there basically forever. You know when they like find a like ink and mummy that still has all of its flesh on it? Because it was at high altitude and in freezing temperatures, bog bodies. I don't know, shit, still got to investigate this even though it's 10,000 years ago. And that's why I don't know if you've been following the forums but those bog cops have been having a lot of trouble getting new recruits because they got you know these 80 90 year old police officers who are researching crimes from 600 years ago and they're saying don't do what I did. Like I'm fucking married to this job Pick the driest climate you can I'm urging you

If you want to be an officer of the law please yeah move to the desert Those god damn desert cops are having the time of their lives Although although I was watching a an IMAX documentary about the secrets of the mummies. Watching that on your regular TV though, you weren't watching that at the IMAX. No, no, I have like a whole bunch of rips of like... No, I know I've watched the lot on your plex while I've been smoking weed, being like, wow, nature is beautiful, you're right. It's cool. Thank you, IMAx. Well, if you watch the, uh, the secrets secrets secrets secrets secrets secrets secrets secrets secrets secrets secrets secrets secrets secrets secrets secrets secrets, the secrets, the secrets, the secrets, I secrets, I the secrets, I the secrets, I the secrets, I the secrets, I the secrets, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've watch, I've, I've watch, I've watch, I've, I've, I've, I've watch, I've watch, I've watch, I've watch, I've watch, I've watch, I've watch, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I' their, I' their, I' their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, the, I'm, I'm, I'm, the, I'm, their, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, nature is beautiful, you're right. It's cool. Thank you, I-Max. Well, if you watch the secrets of the Pharaohs or mummies or whatever one- Business Secrets of the Pharaoh. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. Narrated by Christopher Lee, which is perfect. And they immediately got into the reenactments and I was like, hey, why are they, oh of course. Why are they doing reenactments of ancient Egypt, I said. Yeah. But they were talking about like the methods for mummifying people and and like, you know, how they got to the different mixtures of liquids and stuff and they said the thing they did initially before they started building pyramids and temples and stuff was they would just they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they would just their their they would just their their their their their their the the they would the they would thoing thean theananana they were they were they were doing they were doing they were they were they were they were they were they were they were their their their thea. their their thea. theanananana the. the. the. the. the. th put in them. They said the thing they did initially before they started building pyramids and temples and stuff was they would just bury them in the dry sand and they would get dry mummified just from being put in the sand.

Wow. So like a desert cop could well find a body with flesh on the bones. If you just just dip that bad boy under the sand. There's a few unlucky desert cops who sort of, you know, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th are just the. the. the. theee. theeee. theeeee. theeeeee. theeeeee. thee. the you know they think they've got this fucking clean easy-going line of work. Yeah, God damn it. You normally just pick up the bones you know, toss them in your backpack, nice and clean, nice and tidy. You take them straight to the museum and you say my work here is done. And you say to yourself I love working in a goopless climate. Zero goop in this job. It is the goop that turns me off from being a forensic scientist.

I don't mind a dead body. Hate the goop. Love the bones. Love the bones. Love the bones. Which is of course the concept behind the TV show bones. And the goop. Yuck. Which is of course the concept behind the TV show Bones. And the Goop Laboratories, Gwyneth Paltrow's fascinating look into the lives of bog police. That's for people who love the goop. That's actually where she got the name for goop from.

Can't get enough. Can't I get enough of that wonderful goop. What if we could bottle go? So I guess I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I guess I get the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I the that wonderful goop? What if we could bottle goop? So I guess some bodies have been found? Yeah, no. Some skulls have been found. A number of human skulls and other bones have been found in the shallow waters of the spuie river near the village of Sweden south of Rotterdam. Like I guess that the vibe I'm getting there is we don't have skeletons, we've got some skulls and a lucky dip.

Yeah, and a few other miscellaneous bits, fingers, femurs, things in their nature. It's so rude when these historic bodies don't reveal themselves fully assembled. It's like what? So now I gotta fucking put this body back together to figure some shit out. First I got to deal with the corpse and I have to do a puzzle. It just feels like it would be polite to follow cartoon logic to just sort of be hanging together in the right order. It's how I conduct my entire, I still my rudimentary understanding of everything on planet Earth is that everything will come pre-assembled as it does in a cartoon.

And whenever it doesn't, like, I'm so much more taken aback than I recently should be. Do you also believe you've got a few seconds of grace once you run off a cliff before the shit really starts popping off? I ideally long enough to hold up a placard with some sort of pithy observation about my current scenario. Yikes, or th, Check please. Yeah sure. I think the most inconsiderate corpses are just kind of jumbled. Oh my god. I think the baseline level of consideration a corpse can show you is to be assembled and in like a like a teapose you you know, like a video game.

And then I think the most considerate type of corpse is one that is in a pose that ideally communicates something about what was happening to them in their life. They're charadesing how they died. Yeah, like maybe they're like reaching in pain for their back and there's another corpse right next to them with a knife in its hand and then all the works done for you. Except for who doubt to the person with the knife in their hand? Maybe they just fell asleep. That was their time to go very peacefully. Maybe the guilt killed them. Yeah, I'm just got to lie down right here. Is that guy that the body they found at Pompeii, the guy that was masturbating? Oh.

That's a body telling a story. It's beautiful. Look about the window and just like, nope. I've been waiting all day for this. Yeah, not be stopped. I have these five minutes to myself. Yeah. My wife's going to be back from the market with a basket of wheat any second. Yeah, to be, what at that point, considering the walk from the water to the ruins of Pompeii

was pretty much just a basket. I ask you guys this. The guys in the town are saying, why do you keep calling it the ruins of Pompeii? Yeah. So you, I just got a feeling. You're masturbating. You see either a tsunami or a that that that th th th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. thuuuuuuu. thu. thu- thu- their their their their their thu-in-inatu-inatu. thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiw. thiw. Cona thiwooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomuuuuuui. Considering thi. Considering thi. You're masturbating. You see either a tsunami or a volcanic explosion that will surely spell the end of not just you but the entire town in which you live. Mm-hmm. What are you going to do? You're going to finish? It really depends for me on... 50% loaded. Like, the only, the only clarity I need on this scenario right is is is it immediately obvious to me from looking at the impending thing that I am

I am absolutely not able to avert death in any way like am I am looking out the window and seeing like a kilometer high tidal wave? Yeah. Yeah. Basically, that's what I'm imagining. I do think that deep inside of the recesses of our reptilian brains, so there will even then we'd still be like, I can outrun it, you know. I think our survivalist instinct would probably override our, you know.

The jack-off instinct. I guess the problem is that like even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, even, if you, if you, if you, if you, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that, that, that, that, the jacking-off instinct. The jack-off instinct. I guess the problem is that like, even if you do have a very strong jack-off instinct that says, no, I can knock this out before it gets here, right. Like you're saying, I think that's still sort of immediately, completely, completely giving up on the idea of self-preservation, which I think, like you're're saying a lot of humans, animal brain, will not just do immediately. I'm feeling a little torn I think here where, you know, the, I think the anxiety of my own imminent doom and also the doom of everyone around me and all that I'm ever known. It might ruin, you know, the sort of eroticism of the moment, but then there is another part that I think maybe my brain would be like, you're going into the halls of your forefathers gloriously go for it right now.

You'd think of that guy from Pompeii. But what, I mean, you know, I remember his state of affairs better than anyone else's, you know, from the ruins of Pompey. I'm also now imagining you're thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, you, you, you're half thi, you're half thi, you're half thi, you're half thi, you're half thi, you're half thi, you're half thi, you're thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. the th. the the the the thi, the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, you know, from the ruins of Pompeii. I'm also now imagining a scenario where it's like, you're halfway through, you see it, you panic, you're like, I can outrun this thing. You do, and then you get, you've ruined it. Well, then, yeah, then you, like, you get done for like, and decent exposure, because you're running away from a tsunami with your, you know, with your penis hanging out. Can we talk about his position for a second? What he's like sort of reclining that he's doing? Yeah, this guy is jacking off like he's on a picnic rug, you know?

Like if you're just out in a field somewhere and you've put a picnic blanket down and you're like, hey, no one around for miles. I'm going to jack off. Time to lie down on my back. It's just a guy, just a guy try and get comfortable. He's got back problems. He's got his eyes shut. He's like, God damn it's roasted today. I don't know how you can make a distinction between the way you would lie down on a bed versus how you would lie down on a picnic rug versus how you would lie down on any surface from the information that you have available to you. I mean he looked like it was on a hard surface, you know, just lying down on the rock floor,

you know, mash in his dick. I don't think they had a lot of chairs at that point in history. Stools maybe. That's fair. Not to know that. I mean, you could could the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. th. I th. I th. th. I th. I th. th. I th. I their th. I fair. I mean you could just do it standing up as well that's fine. The order in which things were invented. You got a problem with people masturbating while standing up? Yeah for the busy executive. Mr. Prude over here. He's always coming down to me for my jacking off. What are you afraid of Ben? Who hurt you? Maybe that I will induce in myself an orgasm so powerful that my legs buckle out from underneath me. It's like slipping over in the shower but a thousand times more difficult to explain. No my masturbation technique is actually too good. That's why I hurt myself so

badly. The problem is that nobody nobody wants to accept that the common masturbation pose now is sitting in computer chair. I mean no one's doing that. That was the common masturbation pose of the the bloody the early 2000s in the 90s. We've moved beyond now we're not tethered to the computer desk anymore. I wonder I wonder how people preferred to sit like in the 80s if you were looking at a Playboy or a hustler, you know. Banana lounge. Yeah, like a magazine doesn't have any kind of structural integrity, you know. It's not wall mounted or on a stand like a nude picture looking at devices of today, perhaps a phone, you know. But I, like, you couldn't lie on you back and look at a magazine, I don't think. It's got, it's far, it would their a their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their. their, their. their. A. A. A. A. A. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, you know. But like you couldn't lie on you back and look at a magazine,

I don't think. It's far, it would be far too distracting to try. They're on their side. It's sort of, it's, it's Rose and the Titanic. I feel like the beard is playing the role of a Shay's lounge. They're in the picnic blanket pose. Yeah. Well, not a the they. they. they. they. they. the they. the the the the the the the the the thiicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicic, they's they's they's they's thi. It's thi. It's thiolic, it would be thi, it would thi, it would would thi, it would would thi. It would thi. It would thi. It would thi. It would th is far th is far th is far th is far th is far thi. It would thi. It would thi. It would thi. It would thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's they're thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's far thi. It's far, it's far, it's far, it's far, it's far, it's far, it's far, it's far, it's far, it's far, it's imagining quite a tasteful scene actually. Isn't that interesting to think that, you know, historically there was so much awful stuff happening through, I mean, all of time.

But there's still a romanticism. I think about, you know, these, these hypothetical folks who are masturbating to see as catalogs or whatever in the 80s, and there a real touch of class and romanticism to it that is frankly unwarranted they were probably disgusting grubs who are you know contorted into bizarre shapes next to bushes trying to get a moment's privacy and yet in my head I think these are some of the classiest masturbators you know in all of time I mean I think you're right I think happenstance has forced them perhaps into looking at a a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. their their their th. they. they. they. their their the the their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the their. their. their. their their teas. tas. tas. tas. tas. tas. tas. tas. their tas. their tas. tasks. their their their their their mean I think you're right, I think happenstance has forced them perhaps into looking at a 1970s playboy of a tastefully nude

woman and going this is it for me but if they had the chance to type BBW choke slap porn into Google they would have done it at a moment's notice. Oh um okay so me and wife of the show, my wife Elna, we have said, hey, this year, let's watch a whole bunch of classic movies, you know, that we haven't seen. Let's tick off a bunch of bucket list type movies. And though I'm quite sure I've seen it before, we watched Singing in the Rain, wonderful, wonderful film, yeah. Fantastic movie, marvelous, very enjoyable. I think it's, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th Fantastic movie. Marvelous, very enjoyable. I think it's later than I thought it was from because it's set, like, you know, 15 years earlier, kind of thing. But yeah, Eleanor was definitely like, oh, I didn't expect movies from that long ago to be genuinely funny, you know, which it really is. But like, one of the, one of the, like sort of the, like, sort of the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, the, like, like, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, th, th, th, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, like, th, th, like, th, like, like, funny, you know, which it really is.

But like one of the, one of the, like sort of the, the romantic comedy plot point for the Leeds is that, um, oh no, I'm confusing singing in the rain with on the town, the other classic musical that we watched last night with Gene Kelly. Never said it. And so like, so him and, Frank Sinatra, as they get sure that, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, like, the, the, the, th, like, th, th, th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, like, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, the, the, the, the, the, one, the, one, the, one, the, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, the, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one,. Never said it. And, yeah, terrible. And so like, so him and Frank Sinatra, sailors, they get shore leave, they're trying to get dates and all that sort of stuff. Nobody can say, I need that pussy because it's 1952 or whatever. And so, so, so Gene Kelly meets this girl who he thinks is like a minor celebrity or a model

or a spokeswoman or something. But it turns out she is actually a cooch dancer. And so she's embarrassed, she doesn't want to tell him that she dances out at like the Coney Island Carnival and is a cooch dancer and I'm like what the fuck is a cooch dancer and this is where it comes from the expression dancing the hoochie cucci of course and so dancing dancing the cooch was like a suggestive writhing of the limbs and the body gyrating the hips you know kind a sexy dance that they would they would do in burlesque things and th and th and th th th th th th th th th th th the th the the the the the the c. and the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the cune the cune. the cune. th. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. She th. She th. She the th. She's the the the the. She's the. She's the. She's the. She's theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the. the. the body gyrating the hips, you know, kind of sexy dance that they would do in burlesque things and at these carnivals.

Because at a certain point when like movies had started happening, movies in theater and stuff, circuses and things like that were becoming like less of a popular form of entertainment. So that sort of shrunk down to carnivals which would travel, they would just kind of ditch things like horse riding and animals and stuff, and they would just have like the rides and the side shows. And sort of the side shows were cooch dancers. And apparently this would kind of change in tone depending on how cash strapped the individual carnival was, right? So some of them would be like a burlesque type writhing woman sort of thing and some of them would be we just have naked

ladies and you can look at their holes. And apparently some of them would go to the extent of the local roobs they would just have three shows like three tents running cooch dances and the local guys would come and they would start at one, move on to the next one, th, the the the the th, the the the th, the the the the the th, th, the next, the next th, th, th, th, th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, we just the, we just the, we just the, we just the, we just the, we just the, we just the, we just the, we just just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the is just just just the an thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, the an the an the just just just just just just just just just the, the like three tents running cooch dancers and the local guys would come and they would start at one move on to the next one then the third one and go back to the start and just spent all day going around a circle looking at these naked ladies some of them would even end with the locals having bought flashlights crowding around the female dancer with her legs spread to shine their lights and get a

really good look. Wow. And so like you were saying about we have this kind of romanticized idea of what people might have jacked off to in the past. Now picture a dude in 1928 standing in a tent with a bunch of other guys with a flashlight he bought from home shining shining it at a woman's pussy. It's getting a real good look. Obviously devastating on many fronts, but to me currently mostly fascinating that, you know, the granular biological detail of any sexual organ under lights is... You know, a lot of arousal is sort of circumstance

and conceptual. It's not about physical capacity to analyze what's in front of you. I mean, in my... So many people's, so many people's like, you know, thoughts of like their first sexual experience and stuff. People refer to like, you know, fumbling around and like feeling and like touching each other for the first time not. So then I turned the lamp on and pointed it at his penis and said you you got to give me a solid five minutes. Had a 10,000 candle power spotlight. Yeah. I remember the first time I had had six with a traditional lady. I remember she was shining a flashlight down my urethra and I never felt so vulnerable

in all my years. Getting one of those little cameras that's like on a... Can I just say? I feel responsible for this. You know, we brides the soft core season of the worst out of all time and all of a sudden the entire Buntavista conversation has been reduced to smut. And I feel... I wouldn't say reduced.

Personally responsible, elevated to. Yeah, I've seen the runaway success of you guys veering towards horniness and I figured it's time we'd probably try to replicate that over here. Well I'm happy to do what little I can. Oh Ben if you're in favor of that now listen I am right into mail bag at Buntavista.com and let us know what was the first media that you masturbated to. Why do you keep trying to do this? I'm the only person that reads these emails much much like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. What th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. th. Ben. th. th. Ben. th. th. th. Ben. Ben. th. Ben. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I to. I t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm try. I'm try. I'm thin. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. th. trying to do this? I am the only person that reads these emails and it is. Much like you are not the only person who reads the emails and much like guy, all about those stats. Yeah, I want to get some figures in. I'm a stat head. I remember playing a game of, um, this is you know, this is the early days of my adolescence and also the internet but a game of a tetr Tetris and if you were successful it would very

slowly unveil like it would buffer an image of a nude woman beneath you know where the blocks once were and that was one of the you know I don't even actually know that I thought to masturbate that I just think I had quite a distracted game of Tetris. I bet it was very I I bet it was very titillating though, because I remember playing like those those sort of like freeware or shareware or whatever, strip poker games. And you're like, ooh, strip poker. And what it actually is is there's like a picture of a lady who is clothed on like the back of the deck of cards or whatever and you have to play and win you know a round of poker and then like you

know the picture changes and one item of clothing has come off and really what's happening that is not that sexual is like ah I played 40 hands of poker and got to see four very low resolution images of a woman in her underwear or whatever, you know? Yeah, yeah. It's like like you're saying it's it's not particularly sexy to like be shown half of a of a picture of a naked woman while you're concentrating on not losing the game of Tetris. It's a slightly more intriguing way of concentrating, I guess. I definitely remember there being some sort of like, there was a gap between a point where I realized that seeing an image of a nude woman is exciting, but I guess before I was

really like masturbating, before my masturbating career took off, where... Which it has? Keep an eye up for me on the world, masturbating career took off, where I guess I'm left... Keep an eye on the world, masturbating stage, where you just sort of, you would somehow chance upon a nude image of a lady. And then really all you could do with that image is go, well, that's nice. You just sit there and you go, I'm appreciating this. It's sort of the way that you would look at art, in an art museum. You don't have to have to have to have to have to have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to the to the the to the to the the to have the the to to the the the to the the the the the the the to me out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thethe way that you would look at art in an art museum. You don't have to masturbate to the Mona Lisa to enjoy it, you can simply look at it and enjoy it. I guess that's

what... Speak for yourself. That's what the guy the Louvre told me. You don't have to masturbate to enjoy it, sir. But it helps. that that th you th you th you th you th you th you th you thine thine thine thine thine thine thus thus thus thus. thus. thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, you're thus. to to thus, you're th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. tho, tho. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. You to to to to to that punchline. Ben, well done, you bastard. Thank you very much. Been practicing. But like you said about a, about chancing upon a thing, again, a very romanticized idea, which if you stop to think about it, even for a second, is very gross, is the classic, like walking home from school and finding a discarded adult magazine. Oh man we were pouring over like a Ralph magazine that had been half set on fire so sort of missing the outer edges of the page but you know still saw some some some good stuff some busty ladies in

bikinis I believe Ralph is no nudity to my recollection is true so devastating to think of those magazines Ralph and FH for him magazine FHF finally a magazine for the fellas I yeah you know I thought that they were the coolest thing on it but to think of like the creative team behind these magazines like to think of the writer's room or I don't even know what the you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you they? you they? you they? you they. I they. I they. I they. I they're I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th th th th the the. the. the. theee. theeeee. theee. thee. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they were the coolest thing on it, but to think of like the creative team behind these magazines, like to think of the writer's room or I don't even know what, you know, where they're operating out of, it's one of the most demoralizing, disheartening, thought experiments in the world. You know why, they're British. Like, I think, while they did have Australian versions of like Maxim and FHM and

I'm pretty sure what, nuts, people, picture magazine, all those things, yeah, like, like, like, like you're saying, they all, all of those magazines always felt like they had like the most rigidly prescribed style guide for writing. Yeah. Which is like, no, you haven't made any mention of NOx in this sentence. You have not, you have not. What's better, you reckon, Guy, to imagine that the people that worked in these offices were operating completely sincerely and that this was a passion of theirs and they were trying to create the best thing they possibly could, or that that that that that that that that th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, they, th, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, which, which, which, which, they, which, which, which, which, which, they were they were they were they were they were they were they were, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, they were thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th passion of theirs and they were

trying to create the best thing they possibly could or that they knew that all they had to do was put the bikini ladies in there and just write some sort of vaguely sexist trash content and some shit about cars in there or whatever as well. It's really, it's a very, you know, it's a great question. I think, it's a great question, God. Thank you. We're really getting somewhere now, aren't we? I, I think, I, I think that the cynical version of that is better. I think that the, oh, yeah.

Just because, the sincerity suggests some. There's some sort of value in it? Well, just like a deeper underlying problem. Then the cynicism at least is just a bunch of, you know, misogynistic assholes punching a check. But if people were making those magazines sincerely, then it speaks to like, I mean, you know, neither of these are ideal outcomes, but... To me it's somehow more devastating that, you know, people were writing these horny accounts

of their babysitters or whatever, and these, you know, like people were pouring over their, these, whatever, the lewd, real real stories that share is material inside of these magazines. Because I remember like I remember reading my sister's girlfriends in Dolly magazines and like the Dolly Doctor and the embarrassing moments. Oh absolutely I honestly I had a much more comfortable and better time and the pages of those magazines than an FHM. I think both of them, does my gut feeling have a pretty high proportion of people that are... I would say an equal proportion... No, actually no, sorry, that's not true. I'll take that back.

The FHM stuff, everyone that's writing in is making them up entirely. I would say the Dolly doctors and your girlfriends and your embarrassing moments and you had so on and so forth. 75% fake, 25% real, maybe. Yeah, perhaps. I love those though. I was always like, ooh, a sealed section? Yeah. I mean, ripping the scab off that Cosmo's sexy sealed section so I could finally unfilled

12 ways to make him scream. Nothing made my fucking, you know, the hairs on my, the back of my neck stand on edge quite like, you know, doing that inside of a dairy. Oh, reading those ways. What's a glance? Yeah. Yeah. I think, Ben, I would merely observe that you, you yourself have spent a not inconsiderable time in your life writing for a youth news magazine comedy publication type thing. Certainly, yeah. And there was a stretch of that that I understand that you did not enjoy that much as a result

of like just having to kind of pump stuff out, particularly if they say, just write a thing about this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I cannot help but think that things like FHM and nuts and zoo and stuff like that would have had kind of a similar tone in the sense of like, I think those sorts of magazines were the closest thing to like click bait-and th... th. th. th. th. th. th.. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. their thi. thi. their, their, thi. their, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the. There, the the the. there, there there there there there the. there there there theeeeate. there there theate. there they. they. they. they. the. those sorts of magazines were the closest thing to like click bait of the era. Yeah we have we have tits we have funny stories. We have stories people are making up. The original clickbait. Was the magazines that weren't rude enough to be wrapped in plastic but still rude that your mom would make you behind. The original The original clickbait was people describing the mummified

corpse of that guy masturbating in Pompeii. Did you hear about this guy? This guy's dick? Oh dear. Anybody got anything else about jacking off that they need to... Nah, I uh, I've already shared a lot more than I planned. Okay. I did warn you in advance you're gonna need about 40 minutes of jackoff material for the episode. I know, well I've just blown the, you know, the second third of my big show. COVID-intergenerational warfare and my experience is jacking off. Look for all that in more in Guy Montgomery's Australian shows in Sydney and Melbourne.

Look out for those tickets if they're still extant at the time. You've got to imagine within the first 15 minutes of your listeners hearing this that the whole run sold out. Yes. Of course. Have we solved this, have we solved this Dutch murder yet? We have one sentence into a nine paragraph story. I'm just going to skim through this and you, let me know how you feel. The grim find was made on Friday by local who was planning to go fishing in his canoe. Eric Sagan told the AD he decided to launch his boat from a different spot than usual and saw a skull in the shallow water.

I looked at my foot and the back of a skull was on the bottom with the eye socket staring up at me, he said. Sagan alerted the police who came to collect the skulls, but on Sunday, Sagan found even more, some of which were in a plastic rubbish bag. That kind of says not that ancient to me, you know? The plastic rubbish bag. The plastic rubbish bag is a giveaway. Yes, the skulls were still old though. As he says here, the skulls themselves look very old, but the rubbish bag was new. There was no algae on it, he told the paper.

Some of the skulls were complete. No skull dumping in this area. Yeah. Others did not have the lower jaw. Sagan told media TV they had found 10 to 15 skulls in total. Police say the bones do not appear to have come from a recent crime but as yet they have no idea as to their origin or how old they are. The bones have been taken to the Dutch Forensic Institute to be researched. Well that's a weight of my mind. Well hopefully we get an answer to that. That's a lot of skulls to find.

Obviously I can't read tone from text, but he seems quite cavalier about it. I always assume if you're reading a Dutch person's tone, I think that the, one of the safest assumptions is very serious. And Guy, just to be clear, your personal threshold for how many skulls you find alarming is set to one? If I find one skull, yeah, yeah, I'm out of my element at one skull. Do you think that much like the podcast, the worst idea of all time, do you think that much like the podcast the worst idea of all time, do you think that there would be a certain number of skulls where you'd

be like this isn't so bad? I think, no, okay, so I think in the event of finding one scol, that would be alarming, two scales alarming, like if it's in one event I'm coming across anywhere between one and a higher number than one of skulls, that's freaky. But if I find a skull and then the next week I find two scales and the next week I find three scales, that's freaky for a while. But by the time I get to probably ten or more skulls, I'm noticing. What do you think of finding skulls at intervals? Well, I mean, I mean, I'm I th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, but if thi, but if thi, but if thi, but if thi, much more sinister afoot, but also I'm like, well, I'm at this point expecting to come across a large number of skulls. And at some point, the police are going to be like, I think these are his skulls.

Yeah. I feel like this man have reached that point more or less immediately. He was there on Friday, saw some skulls and was like, right, and then he went back on Sunday, he's like, oh, more skulls. And then that's it. He's just like, well, this is the skull spot now, if I want a canoe here, I'm just going to find some historical skulls staring at me. Yeah. What possible explanation could there be for this? Uh, Guy, please solve this mystery immediately off the top of your head. I guess, you know, challenging swimming hole? Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. I. Hmm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was thi. I'm thi, th. I was, th. I was thus sk ski sku sku sku sku sku sku sku sku sku sku sku sku sku sku sku of your head. I guess you know challenging swimming hole. I mean it it does sound like he was standing in it and you could you could see the bottom. Yeah suggesting maybe like a high diving board with submerged rocks type situation. No that's I mean that would work too that's what it sounded like but I

more mean like oh I got a great spot to teach the kids how to swim I actually sent the neighbor's kids down there to learn how to swim. the the to the to to the to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to their to their their to their their their to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their.. their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to spot to teach the kids how to swim. I actually sent the neighbor's kids down there to learn how to swim just last week. Oh, I hope to see them again one day. Yeah. I don't know man, look it's outside my jurisdiction. There's no flesh on him so. There's no flesh on him so it's not really a concern. It's a thrash their their their their their th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's not th. There's not th. There's not th. There's not th. There's not the the the. There's not the. the. the' the' th. the. the' too too too too too too too to to th. thi. that's that's thi. thi. thi. I's thi. I's the nea the nea the nea the nea the nea the nea the nea to th. I's to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be thi. I's not thi. I's not to be thi. I's not to be thi. to toeat too. too too too too too too too too' too' too' too' too' too' too' too' for me. I mean what are you things happening? It sounds like this Canoist might be a murderer. He might be but I'm assuming some sort of like historian who's got too much stuff, a guy who's trying to build in a heritage area who's trying to cover up that there is some sort of historical gravesite there. Yeah. I think the answer is it's a predator from the movie Predator. Well and one of the more famous predators.

For what it's worth, since you last spoken now you have put glasses on which elevates the value of your opinion by quite a lot. Yep yep because you will remember in the movie predator that the titterter the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the teolaulerauauauasuasuasuasuasuasuasuasuasuasuasusususususususususus. Yeahea. Yeahea. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.a.a. Yeah.a. Yeah.a. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. Yeah. Yeah.oe.oe.oea.oea. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah............................................................................. by quite a lot. Yep, yep. Because you will remember in the movie Predator that the titular predator, he pulls out a guy's spine and skull. And then he climbs up in a tree and he uses a special predator kit, cleans him up real nice. So they are all completely dry. They are utterly goopless and white and very clean only several scenes later. Desert Cop wouldn't even see him.

Yeah. Yeah, I would suggest that maybe, I don't know, maybe this guy spooked a predator, you know, he sort of wandered into the area and the predator went, and dropped his plastic shopping bag full of skulls. Yeah. Immediately turned on his invisibility thing. Got out of there. There's not a lot of words who have had, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, the, the, the cut, uh, uh, uh, don't, don't, uh, uh, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the his invisibility thing, got out of there. There's not a lot of words who have had a steeper fall from grace than the word predator since 1987, right? It's true. It used to be cool. For a brief period there you'd hear the word predator and you'd think of a cool alien guy. Now you hear the word predator

and you think of Woody Allen, which is a shame. For shame. Well, look, I personally am going to take this opportunity to thank Guy for coming on the show. It's been a real pleasure. It's nice to shoot the breeze with a couple of, um, bespectacled Australians. One of my long health dreams. Do you want to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to just just just to just to just to just you want to just hear people again with the upcoming dates of hypothetical shows? Hell yeah, please. If you're in Melbourne or Sydney,

I'm coming over to do the comedy festivals and I'm actually in surprisingly good shape, both as a comedian and physically. Melbourne Comedy festival, Sydney comedy festival, the show's called Guy Montgomery by name, Guy Montgomery by Nature. If you go to Guy Montgomery.niz, you'll find a ticket link. And check out the seasons of Taskmaster New Zealand that have Guy Montgomery on them. Because they're, um, I've watched a bunch of the different nationalities of Taskmaster now. Easily top three. You're too kind. It's a...

Hold on one the other? Well, there's upwards of five. There's a ton of them. Yeah, yeah, there's a few. The Finnish one is dog shit. Do not watch the finish one. It's fucking awful. Come on. We've got a lot of finished listeners.

They're having a lot of finish. neighbours fucking, you know, run ships up on land. They don't need you to put the boot in right now. I actually will say that while Wild Doorways going through such a time, tou-tough time, maritime wise, the Norwegian Taskmaster series is a delight. They are wonderful. Fantastic. But yeah, thanks a lot for having me, Andrew. Ben, it's been a real pleasure. Well, hopefully see you when you come to Bresb. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the th. I th the th the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho' thi thi tho' thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I th. I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that thanks a lot for having me, Andrew. Ben, it's been a real pleasure. Hey, we'll hopefully see you when you come to Brisbane. I would love to come to Brisbane.

I'd love to come to Brisbane too. I mean, you know, we had a live show, but we very bravely canceled it. We did. That is great. And we'll cancel it again. There's not a lot braver than canceling yourself. Oh actually, um... Not waiting for anyone else to do it. Yeah. If you're listening to this before Saturday, January 29th, which you might well be, we're doing a live show 7 p.m. Australian Eastern Standard

time on Saturday but as a live stream on our Twitch channel, check that out. It'll, it's not, it's not the same as doing a live show, but it's all we've got, I'm sorry, that's all we can do in these trying times. Don't feel badly about it, it sounds great. Well, thanks everybody, and we'll see you next time. Bye. Hello.