Boonta Vista - EPISODE 236: Uso Veterinario Odyssey

Episode Date: February 10, 2022

Lucy, Theo, and Andrew tackle: A uniquely Australian, uniquely shit NFT scam; a high stakes racing pigeon heist gone awry for a lack of creativity; and the all-time leaderboard for Dutch fertility clinic perverts. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

In our obsession with understanding and categorizing the world around us, architecture has typically and compulsively been split into two worlds, separate for one another, form and function. But in doing so, we deny ourselves the possibility that whimsy can be found in function and we assume the delight we find in architectural form cannot in itself be useful, be purposeful. No, to truly understand architecture is to experience the interaction of form and function, the ways in which they complement each other, the push, the pull, the compromise, and the wonderful synergies they create when they act together.

But when function takes the front seat, when we say, my house must have a slide so that my son wants to spend time here instead of his bitch mothers, or I will not compromise without a toilet that can handle a gallon of X-Curry after a long Manchester pub crawl. We put form on the back foot. We presume to assign it a role of lesser importance. But good architecture can take something like a blueprint, a spec sheet, a list of client demands and entangle it with form, ensnare it in its web, and hold it so closely that when you step back, when you look at the

thing, you cannot distinguish form and function. It just is. None of this is lost on Andrew and Lucy. Andrew 32 is a retired market broker from Canvera, and lives with his wife, Lucy 33, a UI designer for MacDonald too-Douglas, in a pokey three-bedroom house outside Yas. The couple have nine children, and Andrew is heavily pregnant with number 10. And they're facing the same reality many families of 12 face. Their tantrum hole simply isn't big enough. Andrew, Lucy, when you have the need to scream into the void because Malcolm Turnbull

has once again gotten online and taking credit for passing marriage equality in Australia, you currently go into the crawl space under the house, presumably with the rats and mice and just yell at a wall. That can't be good, right? It's not ideal. I prefer something bigger. Hmm. Like, I mean, when you've got 12 kids you really have to make the most of the time you have together. So ideally I think if we had a tantrum hole that

both of us could go into at the same time and maybe scream together. I think that would be good for us. Or perhaps separate ones, you know like a man shed, she-shed situation. His and hers. Yeah, that would be nice given the 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13, that, that, that, that's, that's, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I. I, I, I, I. I, I, I. I, I. I, I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.ed situation. His and hers. Yeah, that would be nice given the um 13 kids that we have. But do you think that your budget necessarily extends to multiple tantrum holes? Well, I mean, what I was kind of picturing... Yeah, I mean, we've definitely talked about it and what I'm sort of picturing is that there is a hers tantrum hole with laminated posters of Keith Urban up on the wall A lot of hello kitty decals and that kind of thing and this should be

adjoining a his tantrum hole maybe with some ironic 80s aerobics lady posters I'm big. They're sexy and I like to look at them. maybe with some ironic 80s aerobics lady posters. Oh yeah. They're sexy and I like to look at them. And you know, ideally what I want is a sheet of like extremely thick glass that they use at Japanese aquariums, which I understand is going to take me months to procure and cost an incredible amount to have shipped here. And I think they told me in the quote that 95% of the time it gets broken on the way over and I will bear that cost if that is the case. And we're going to have a porthole in there where, you know, like, you know, in nuclear facilities, where if they have to handle radioactive material,

they have the port holes, they can put their hands into the gloves and safely reach in without being exposed. So we're gonna have something like that, that we can reach through and hold hands while having his and her tantrum holes that are completely separated, you know, totally soundproof. I won't be able to hear to hear to h to h to he to he to he to he to he to he to he to ha to ha to ha to ha to ha to ha to ha to ha to ha to ha their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they they they have they they they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the, the, the, the.. theanananananan. tha. tha. tha. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean-a. the. the. thrum holes that are completely separated, you know, totally soundproof, I won't be able to hear her tantrum, she won't be able to hear mine, but we'll be able to be together throughout that. And our budget is $6,000.

We've got vision, though. We've got passion. I think no one can deny that you've got fission. Now what you've described there requires some serious project management. Now Lucy you said you're going to project manage the build yourself. And you must be in by Christmas. Yeah, that's right. What's the problem? You don't think women can manage a project? Is that what you saying? Like, the thing is, like maybe I don't have the experience, but I am, I am a girl boss.

So, I've got that going for me. Now, I'm catching up with Andrew and Lucy now, six years and nine million dollars later, and this is... Wow! Guys, what a tantrum hole. Now, these walls of sheer polished rock are what, 12 feet high? And they really speak to the pragmatism of this build. Andrew, you were saying you came in here earlier today after labor voted yes on the religious discrimination bill and then acted like they'd done something incredible and taking credit for you know protecting rights in Australia etc and you just screamed the word cunt

until you blacked out what difference has this new tantrum hole made to you? I mean it's it's been incredible you know I could come in here today and scream the word cunt as loud as I possibly could for about 25 minutes straight and that was when I lost consciousness, which is, you know, an incredible workout. I mean, like it's good for your mental well-being but it's also great physically as well. You have any idea the kind of core strength that you attain when you go in there and scream for 20 and 30 minutes today? He's got fantastic apps. You might not know this about Andrew. And Lucy I am loving this carbon-fiber bathtub with a thank you. Thank you.

Beautiful once-off custom-made toaster, precariously hanging above. But what a bold choice to put it here in the tantrum hole. How did you convince Andrew? Look, I'm just very artsy. You know, I'm a very visual person, and I have a beautiful vision for what I want our home to look like? You know, Andrew's the brains and I'm the I'm the beauty, you know. We make a great team. We make a great team.

Oh, wonderful. Speaking of holes, what about the Netherlands? I was inspired then. Sorry, oh, what have you got some thoughts in your brain. I've truly taken us on a journey into one of your brains biggest holes. My goodness. Look, you know, I gather you've been watching a little grand designs recently? No, not for a while actually, but it does, it is part of my fabric, I think at this point. I've watched enough grand designs to sort of, you get the, you get the rhythm of the episode. I don't know, I, I think it's, yeah, I don't know.

I could watch years of it, personally. Have you, have you watched any of the Australian one? I don't want to watch any of the shit without Kevin in it. No, I know. I watched one where Kevin was on the Australian one. They kind of went through some of their favorites. It just felt like Big Dog had come, and there's this horrible little lap dog just like trying to impress. It was, I don't know. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a a a pathetic, it's a pathetic, it's a pathetic, it's a pathetic, it's a pathetic, it's a pathetic, it's a little, it's a little, it's a little, it's a little, it's a was, I don't know, it's a little pathetic what we do with Australian TV shows. I saw, because Eleanor, much like, wife of the show, my wife, Elna, much like our very own

Lucy has been watching this season of Married at First Side. Which means you're watching this season of Married at First Side. Oh, I want you to talk to her about it instead. I'm saying it. She's always trying to get me to watch it with her, and I can't, because I'll have a heart attack because of how much I want to shoot everyone on the show with a gun. You won't feel good. You'll need thing we spent all that money. Yeah. What a world-class tantrum hall. So yeah she's she's been watching married at first sight

which is of course the show where people do not get married at first sight. It's my understanding that they just do a little fake wedding at the start yeah. They do a little fake wedding and they're put together by the experts who are three people on Australian television. I do like the the the the th like th like the th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th th like th. th. th. th. thu. thu-a thu-a thi thi thi thi. the. the. the. th. th. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's thi's thi's thi's the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the. the. the. the put together by the experts who are three people on Australian television. I do like the busty Colombian sexologist. I'll say she can she can hang out. But the rest of them get out of here. So that also means like seeing more ads because she prefers to watch it live so that the

episodes do not get spoiled by seeing other people's tweets as live so that the episodes do not get spoiled by seeing other people's tweets as they are watching the live show so she doesn't like to have to wait until later on to watch it on the app which means we get to see more ads which means that we get to see the very best the prime time Australian television has to offer. It's a different world huh? Like you forget what boomers are seeing the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th they th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thoomers are seeing thoom- thoomers are seeing thi the the thoom- the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe t. to offer. It's a different world, huh? Like you forget what's out there, what boomers are seeing when you don't watch free day or TV. Yeah, it's so odd isn't it? Like we've completely moved beyond, like as a generation we've

moved beyond the need for ads that are like more than five seconds long. But also beyond the need to watch any of those shows that are so squarely just aimed at like the fuk lowest common lowest the the the the the the the the the the thumumumumumum of the the the th the thers th th th th th th th th thers thers thers thers thumers thumers thumers thumers thumers thumers thum of thum of boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom thum of thum of thum of thum of thum of thum of th th th th th th th th th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th. th. thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumbus thus thus the need to watch any of those shows that are so squarely just aimed at like the fucking lowest common denominator. Like there's an ad for a show called the Hundreds. I keep saying it the Hundreds and it's Australia's funniest comedians. Yeah yeah so it's a show hosted by either Hamish or Andy, one of them. Is it Hamish? It's Andy but Hamish. It's a the same. It's a the same. It's a the same the lowest lowest lowest lowest. I the the the lowest. I the the lowest. I the show. I the show. I the show. I's a the show. I's a s. I's a s. I's a show hosted by either Hamish or Andy, one of them. Is it Hamish? It's Andy, but Hamish is on the show as one of Australia's funniest comedians. Of course he's on the fucking show. These two people existed when I was a child.

Like that's, that to me is the thing that is just the most depressing about, I guess what you could describe as mainstream Australian television is it's been the same fucking people for my whole life. The only time anyone leaves is when they die. Yeah, exactly. If you're a comedian you want to make it big in Australia, the first thing you need to do is assassinate Paul McDermott. Otherwise you're going nowhere because he's got his slot.

You got a you got fucking what's a name Julia? No who's the get me out of here I'm a celebrity thing with this? Julia Zamiro? No, not Julie Samiro. Julia Morris. Julia Morris. Julia Morris. And fucking Dr. Chris, who is a vet, but vets aren't real doctors.

Oh. That guy, he's got the name of somebody else who was already famous. Dr. Chris? You know, the vet, the Bondi rescue vet. Yeah, Bondi vet. He's just hung in there. Yeah. So the hundreds, starring Andy of Hamish and the hundreds starring Andy of Hamish and Andy

and also Hamish of Hamish and Andy, where, like you said, Lucy, it's a fucking panel show and it's like, Andy and Australia's funniest comedians, and then it starts to run you through some of them. And I believe they go like, Carl Barron, Tom Gleason, Sophie Monk, like the third one is not a comedian. I'll be honest she's probably funnier than the rest of them. Yeah. Get our boy Tom get on there either of the Tom's. Not as far as I know.

Let them on there? Either of the Tom's. Not as far as I know. Let them on there, you know? Let Tom Walker on primetime TV. Replace them. Once Tom Walker goes on primetime TV, he's there for life. You go on Australian Prime Time TV as a comedian and you cannot leave until you are dead. Imagine if he snags some sort of fucking contract where he's there for life. And Australia as a whole has to deal with Tom Walker.

Tom Walker has to explain Tom Walker to their children. Tom Walker's very fucked quiz. That's the show we're all going to tune in for. I would fucking love to see Tom on TV. I saw a little clip of Tom on a TV show and he was describing just having to shit on the ground in public. Yeah. God bless folks please listen to the podcast Big Soft Hitty. PNG. Anyway my point is that that, I can only assume that all of Australian broadcast TV is one great big money laundering operation. It has to be right.

They're not making any money from it. No one's fucking making any money from it, that's for sure. Just all seems like one. Possibly sports bit. Is this probably. I said the possibly sports bet. Is this probably all actually just a front for sports bit? Every TV show is a sports bit front, yeah. Pretty much. Hello, it's me.

Ben, from this podcast. Marian Webster defines a podcast as a program made available in digital format for automatic download over the internet. And that simply could not be more true. If you like what we do and want more of this podcast made available to you in digital format for automatic download over the internet, simply go to Patreon. Vista and hit the enormous red button that says subscribe. For five US dollars a month you get access to our weekly bonus episodes, our entire archive of bonus episodes, our exclusive discord server and an RSS feed of both the bonus episodes and free episode that

doesn't have these ads in them. That sweet, sweet subscriber cash allows me to do this show full-time without having to get a real job and frankly that whips to me. The other guys also get some money or whatever but I don't really care. Anyway, check that out if it sounds good to you. love you. Love you. So we might as well check in on some other money laundering operations in this week's Scamwatch. They were just settling in. Only 14 minutes to get there.

To a segment of the podcast where we'd talk about things. Pretty light this week. They were just settling in. Just getting a vibe going. We're just hanging out. It's a th like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like thing thing th. th. thing th. thing thing thing thing thing the thing thing thing thing out, thing out, their thing out, thing out, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoooing. th. th. th. th. th. th. thing. th. th. th. th. to. things. They were just settling in. Come on! Just getting the vibe going. We're just hanging out. It's the thing I like about Buntavista. It's just sort of like hanging out with sometimes four, sometimes three of your pals. Yeah. It's the thing I like about Buntavista. There's no real point to any of it so it doesn't matter when we kind to get to the thing, you know? And we can't like describe it. Yeah yeah except don't ever speak to me in your life. No if you see Lucy in public don't don't go up to

her because she has had her nails done and she will rake them across your face and eyes if you say her name that's not true I'm very nice. Sometimes people like at me on Twitter like hey Theo I spotted this and I thought you'd take an interest which very nice thing to do but as soon as I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeoo. theoooo. theooo. theeeeeeo. theo. theeeeee. thee. this and I thought you'd take an interest, which very nice thing to do, but as soon as I see my name on there, I reflexively gag. And I keep gagging until either I throw up or I look away from the screen. People have taken a replying to me on Twitter with my first name and last name. And I don't like that. I don't like seeing my name at the best of times. No. This week's scam watch, let me, let me give you a little pitch. If you guys are looking for somewhere to put your money, maybe you're looking to

take some money out of the tantrum hole and put it into the money hole. Check this out. Metabogans are a collection of 5,000 pixel art bogan NFTs bringing Australian culture that we all know and love to the metaverse. It doesn't mean anything. I got to just take a quick stop to my... Gotta stop off in the tangenton hall guys I'm real sorry. I'm just gonna go in the other room for a while. I'm not sure. Fuck, I hate this. This is a visual, this is not a visual medium.

This is an audio show. So I just need to let you know at this point that both of my co-hosts in the last 20 seconds have had both of their hands pressed to their face an expression of agony plastered across their visage. Metabogans are all about utility and we aim to provide this in and out of the Metaboverse. Metabogans are the first ever hybrid utility-based NFT project in our space. Those are just words. You're putting... No, I can't, can't do it. Backed by tangible real-life revenue-paying assets that grow year on year and shared secondary market royalties, that's an instant return.

Metabogans presents a unique opportunity to invest in a project modeled for sustainable post-Mint growth. No it doesn't. No it doesn't. It doesn't. It's not unique in any way. Just buy some, buy shares. You don't need to make these fucking, all right, we're gonna get into this.

But... I feel like I don't speak Englishto make these fucking... All right, we're gonna get into this, but... I feel like I don't speak English looking at this sentence. None of that talks to where the shitty little pictures come in and the fucking several hundred kilograms per transaction of CO2. Uh-huh. Do you notice how quickly we have gone from, uh from Facebook pivoting to the concept of a metaverse to draw attention from their fucking horrifying practices and ethics and losing 26% of the value of the company in a single day as a result.

They somehow pivoted to something more toxic than ruining all of our lives, our brains, relationships with our close and distant families, print media, online media, integrity, inventing, not inventing, but basically propagating Q&on, a whole new generation of... Hold on, hold on. I'm hearing a lot of criticism. But have you considered that soon you could log in for a work meeting five minutes early so you can walk through a virtual environment to get to the room? Yeah, so, and apparently as far as stockholders are concerned, that part's even worse. It's fucking like all the rest of that stuff they could live with, but they get to that part's even worse. It's fucking like all the rest of that stuff

I could live with but they get to that point they're like man that shit sucks man. Fuck this. I tell you what the problem the problem now that we're talking about things that are in NFTs and horrible little pictures and online working etc you really don't have the opportunity to do a good bud dwire these days. You can't pull it off like, I don't know if you just, if you're just at home and you pull a pistol out of your, out of your pocket. It doesn't really get the same effect, I don't think, if it's like over zoom. I mean, you have to like kind of click like highlight me, highlight my camera, etc.

Put your hand up maybe. If there's one place that you can actually get the most out of that, it's by live streaming it on Facebook. And everybody who's watching the live stream, everyone who's watching the live stream on Facebook will get to see it and you'll get to ruin the day and life of the content moderator who has to review it and take it down. Oh my God. It's hard.

If we don't live in hell, this will do until hell gets here. I think, yeah, I'm keen to spend a lot of my money on some HLPs. Some horrible little pictures. Is that what you get in hell? As Theo has just described. I got a horny little pitchforks. Sorry, the thing I started off saying was, how very quickly we have pivoted from Facebook saying we're doing a thing 10 years from now called Metaverse and that's what everyone will do and

like and that's what reality will be to pieces of shit like this saying that they are just doing a thing in the Metaverse. Which doesn't really exist. Fucking meaningless. Meaningless. Don't a fucking World of Warcraft bro. You can actually log in that. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. We th. We ly. Fucking meaningless. Meaningless. Do you want a fucking World of Warcraft, bro, you can actually log into that. Yeah, you could just do anything here in World of Warcraft. Yeah.

Terrible. You have been able to for a long time. You can't throwne into a politician's house in world of warcraft. Uh-huh. I think that's in the latest expansion. So they say that they're all about utility being provided in and out of the metaverse. And what does that mean, Andrew? Well, if you would like to know about the real life utility, which I'm assuming is the utility out of the metaverse. Okay, so here's the list of things that the real-life utility that Metabogans are going to enable.

Create a community-owned brewery where NFT holders vote on names, branding, new products and expansion. Wouldn't you love to pay a fuckload of money to vote on the name of some beer that somebody's going to make?? Sorry is this a fake brewery or a real-life brewery? I think this is a real brewery that they get to set up but you get to call... With your money? Yeah you get to call the beer like the Brewers Dogs Dick or something. Yeah that's gonna be the worst beer you've ever fucking tasted because it's community owned by NFT holders. The epic bacon flavored. Oh fuck off. The freaking epic blend.

Have we checked where fucking the Batuda advocate sits on this? Are they involved? I know I know we've got a I know surely the friendly Jordy's thing has made it into this, but I'm just googling the most cursed combination of words you possibly could, which is Petuta Advocate NFT. Oh, I can't... Oh, no, they are promoting somebody else's Bin Chicken NFDs. Fucking knew it. I knew it. Bin King's Battuiter, this newspaper received an internet-based, collectible artwork, token, blockchain or NFT from Scotty Marsh, and it's free to view by following the link below. Listen to the podcast interview we did with Scotty a week ago to learn more.

We are being punished for our sins. God has abandoned us. Yeah, we're dirty little worms. We're being punished daily. Disgusting. Let's see what else we get. Regular beer giveaways and other prize giveaways to NFT holders. I could just buy beer.

If it's about converting beer into money, I've got that process within like walking distance of me. Yeah, you can skip the middleman? Yeah. Remember that video of the guy like using his phone to pay for their phone to pay for for a beer with crypto? No, but I do remember that, that video of the guy try to pay for like some croissants or whatever by pulling loose change out of his pocket pussy. We've also got real-life exclusive parties and networking events.

We're getting further and further away from anything. I get to I get to fu-fucking meet and greet people who are into... Yeah talk about crypto. Theo, I'm gonna assume that you have not seen the photos from the board ape yacht club get together. I've seen some. I haven't. It's...

I don't think I need to though. I can picture it in my mind palace. You don't because it is exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly exactly th you th you th you th you th you need to though. I can picture it in my mind palace. You don't because it is exactly what you would think it looks like. You also get 50% of all beer, bar, merchandise and metaverse profits and 50% of secondary market royalties will be collected and distributed to NFT holders in the form of monthly raffles and dividends. See calculator below for earning potential. I love to be told, I love to be told the potential that I have to make some money from 50% of secondary

market royalties if I win a monthly raffle. So let me get this straight. They're basically fundraising. You receive A, tokens that have no value, because nothing in NFTs have any intrinsic value past the pixels that kind of produce the artwork. And of course, that's not unique to you. You can just copy-paste it, but if you want to claim some sort of ownership of those particular very ugly pixels I guess that's the intrinsic value of an NFT token so you pay money for that and they get some of that money I mean as part of the whole the whole deal and you use that to buy them a brewery and then you get some of the money that they make from the br-the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that to buy them a brewery, and then you get some of the money

that they make from the brewery back, the brewery that you bought for them. It kind of fucking sounds like they're getting a brewery for free out of this. Yeah. It sounds like that. But sort of like, like they've kind of said, hey, here's the thing thi that I've just heard about, and you th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, theirthing that I've just heard about. And you know what they would be perfect for? It'd be if a bunch of dumb motherfuckers got online and then converted some Australian dollars to US dollars and then converted US dollars to some Bitcoin and then use that to buy some Dog coin and then, you you know then they can buy some NFTs on open sea and we get money at the end of it.

Well yeah I guess. Hmm. But maybe read on. We'll whether, I mean we could be very stupid. This could be the... Well, here's the thing to consider, right? Because you're going to get a tiny slice of profits from a brewery that you help to pay for. Yes. But... There's being no one else is going to buy except people who are the NFT holders who are

part owners of the brewery. Yep. Yeah. But consider this. You will continue to get profits forever and the share of profits that you get will go up because line go up. Line go up. That's so true.

You're really selling it to me. Historically the line go up. Why would it ever go down? Especially these days. You know, past couple years, line always go up. Yeah. Now of days. The thing with being a bag holder is you want to be a bag holder. You want to hold on to that bag for as long as you can because it's only going to increase in value. That's right. Let's read on for the rest of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the rest of the real life utilities. Give back to charity with future fundraising events. Not happening. Yeah, you can do that again without the, so the fundraising event,

as I mean, we've done fundraising events in the past, and we're very stupid. We barely know how to do a live stream. And it turns out you can just do that. You can to do a live stream. And turns out you can just do that. You can make kids do it at school. It's easy. You just give them some chocolates and make them sell them. There's limitless ways to do fundraising. Also this is just not going to happen. They're not going to do it. They're not going to do it. Give back to charity. I love that like giving back is kind of reliant on them getting a whole bunch of other people's money in the first place. And plus, get this, the final and biggest real-life utility of all, open the first community-owned Metabogans bar where NFT holders will receive VIP perks and benefits.

So, like, we are on thethe we are on the sixth real-life utility point. The fifth one is about something it's not going to happen and the sixth one is just restating the first one. Yes. Oh no because this is a bar this is not a brewery it's a bar with a VIP area for NFT holders. Wow! I mean that sounds a lot like point number two and three regular beer giveaways, other prize giveaways, real-life exclusive parties. That sounds like VIP perks and benefits to me, but what would I know? Yeah. But hey, you're probably asking yourself, enough about

the real-life, I want to know about the important things like the Metaverse utility of these NFTs. I'm sick of reality, get me out of here. We've got Metaverse utility, like, create a community pub based around the Metabogan Verse in Sandbox. What's a, what's a pub in the Metaversy? This is like, have you seen the news stories where, have you seen the news stories where people are like using crypto and shit to pay outrageous sums of money for like virtual real estate? To just have

like a fucking Minecraft yacht? All of this is actually good to me because I think about the kind of person who has spent their money on that. And then I think about how they're going to lose all of their money. And that feels good thinne to my heart and my body. Oh, well, I got some good news for you. Because you know how you think about pubs and like footy clubs and stuff like that and there's good things about them and there's bad things about them. But we want to make sure that when we invert, like when we invent a version

of a pub in a virtual world that we make sure that we get all the absolute best elements of the real life pub into the virtual pub and that's why we will integrate slots, horse racing and other forms of gambling in our sandbox pup. That's so good. You're losing anything good about the pub, which is like cold beer, human beings. Hanging out with other people, getting out of the house. God, God, damn. Imagine there's like three people at the bar and you're like where is

everyone and there's like 60 people in the slots. Turns out the slots machine they actually fund the Metaverse bar. It's Metaverse more chilly, amazing. God damn. That is so depressing dude. That is super fucking. That is... Putting on my fucking Oculus Viser, logging in... Leaving my Metaverse kids at home in the Metaverse. Locking my kids in... Locking my kids in their hot Metaverse car.

And going into the Metaverse pub, connecting up my Bitcoin wallet so that I can play fake slots in the fucking Metaverse. Yeah, and every time you pull the arm, it takes 45 minutes for the transaction to go through. The world heats up by half a degree, you know? God damn. Hey, they're also going to host exclusive virtual events and parties for all NFT holders. That sounds a lot like half of the original six points except it's not a real party. It's in the Metaverse pub. It's not a real party. It's not real. You can already go to a party in the Metaverse because it's all fake.

God damn. Close your eyes. They will also work with Sandbox to allow NFT holders to either play as their Metabogan or display their Metabogan in game as art or an NPC. Holy shit, you're telling me they've got support for images in this? There's a game changer like a little picture a little display picture you can I didn't do that on the Nintendo way so I don't think it can already make an extremely

racist blockchain how do they do that like if the blockchain's they involved how can you have your own me without the blockchain you can already create an incredibly racist emblem in Call of Duty Black Ops 4 and display it to all of the teenagers that you're playing with you know. You can. Exclusive access to all NFT holders for future projects and collections we release. Now number one that is a lie. Because they're making it sound like they are preferencing your Now number one, that is a lie. Because they're making it sound like they are preferencing your money over any other

fucking idiot Rube's money. So I wouldn't do. Do you think that they're actually like saying, hey, no, no, we're not going to let anybody else buy any of these new Metabogan to NFTs we've put out. We're waiting to see if all of our wins want to let anybody else buy any of these new Metabogan 2 NFTs we've put out. We're waiting to see if all of us wins want to buy one. Are they new NFTs or are they saying that there's going to be like a web comic or something? They'll get the guy from Stone Toss to do like an exclusive web zine or something and you get that for free. Because you know what the internet is a little lacking these days, it's content. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. I th. I'll to to to to to to let's the. I'll to let's to let's to let's to let's to let's to let's to let's to let's to let's to the. Are. Are. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. th. the. the the. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they. th little lacking these days, it's content. Hmm.

We don't offer it to your previous NFT owners because you know that they're fucking idiots and that you can get money out of them. So that's a good choice. Not enough content going around. Uh, now the absent Ben, who I believe is too busy having fun and kissing at Make Out Point. No, we didn't, no, that's Monday. We didn't work out what he's doing. I thought it was Anal Cove. He didn't specify. I think tonight he's washing himself. Okay. In a big pocket. Either way, he's busy. But he did lovingly prepare the show's notes for us.

And he has attached an image of a product entitled Metabogan. Now it does seem to be in Spanish but let me attempt to read it for you and we'll see if we can figure out. I'm pretty hyped to see what this is about. All about. Vitaminas, amino acidos, electrolytes, minerales, acidous, grosses, solution injectable use veterinary. Yeah, and it has a picture of a needle and then... And then a... I think I speak Spanish. I think I get it. Oh man I feel like I just I just took the limitless pill, you know.

Yeah. And then there's some pictures of sheep's arses? Yep. So I think we can figure it out. Yeah. Do you have to put the solution in Yachtabal in the bum? Maybe I'm missing a word here. The picture really makes it look that way. Like you have to give the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to the to the to the the the the the the the the the the bum. Maybe I'm missing a word here. The picture really makes it look that way. Like you have to you have to give them a shot in the hind quarters, you know?

It is USO Veterinario, so maybe I'm just not an expert here. Well there's nothing that's ever stopped anybody from injecting themselves with a product that should be USO Veterinario, you know? If anything, we have seen more self-injecting of USO and Veterinario products in the last year or two than we have in decades beforehand. An absolute epidemic of self-injecting. Um. Did you guys fun to say. It is.

Spanish is so fun to kind of spend three seconds looking at and then. Spanish is so fun to know like I do. I did see some news though that I think might actually impact the viability of this project which is all good to go I think as a package it all makes it all make sense I'm getting it. I'm understandingthe viability the the desirability etc all of it but you're locked loaded you've got your you've got your Bitcoin wallet ready to go I had it ready to go until the recent news that meta had to implement a four-foot rule in the meta-verses and you can't bring your avatar closer than four-foot to another avatar to solve the quote-unquote

groping problem and if they're looking to reproduce the vibe the experience of a rural Australian pub. I feel like this experience of a rural Australian pub. I feel like this might be a fatal limitation. Yep. You need to drop that radius immediately, you know? Yeah. So Lucy, as our show's resident woman, Yep. How do you feel about

meta implementing this restriction so that men can no longer come within four feet of your avatar and pretend that their hands are touching your butt and boobs? Well, I just feel like that's sexism solved, you know? Done. I'm just going to feel safer in the metaverse, you know? Thank God Mark Zuckerberg is looking out for me. Mark Zuckerberg looking out for all of us and we salute him. Now I think we've established here that Spanish is basically the same as English, extremely easy to look at and understand. We've had a

look at the label of one product and we now all believe that we speak Spanish. One language however that remains completely incomprehensible and somewhat perverted is of course Dutch. Everybody, I'm from Holland. Isn't that dear? That's right, it's Dutch Watch baby! We are bringing the news hot and fresh to you from the one and only authority on Dutch News that we refer to. I am of course talking about Dutch News. NL.

Police intercept stolen racing pigeons during routine control. Yeah. Are those your pigeons? Police carrying out a routine control on the A16 near Mordike on Monday morning. That's what I want. More Dick. More dick. We arrested three people on suspicion of stealing 26 valuable racing pigeons. Can't steal a pigeon, they're free to go where they like. Yeah, you can't like own a pigeon, man.

Yeah. I mean, the wild thing is, people do. They've been doing it for so long, because they take the little pigeon out of the box and they roll up the little message and they put it, they tuck it up its butt hole or onto its little leg sleeve or whatever. Yeah. They put it into the added ass bum bag

that zipped around the waist of the pigeon. And they say, hey, they say, hey, hey, hey, the, they, they, they, they, they, th, th, th, th, th, they, they, th, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck, tuce, tuce, tuce, tuce, tuce, tuce, tuce, tuce, tuce, tuce, they, their, their, their drop this off to my mate Terry. And the pigeon goes, oh for sure. And it just flies off. And then it goes to the place you wanted to go? That's crazy. And we're just supposed to believe that. They're so stupid. I don't believe that. I've met a pigeon.

Have you seen a pigeon? My God? I am supposed to believe that you can simply throw one off a building and it will take your little rolled-up message about the new price of meth to your mate Terry. Think about it. Do your own research. Number one, birds not real. Not real. How can the pigeon be real? Pigeon's stupid. They were real many years ago. Dinos. D can the pigeon be real? Pigeon's stupid. They were real many years ago. Dinosaues turned into birds. Birds. They died in 1780.

And now we're all supposed to think there's just birds around. A 47 year old man and a 57 year old woman from Ukraine, mmm, problematic age gap, without a known address in the Netherlands, and a 32 year old man from Rotterdam, ooh, cradle rubber munch. Could not give a plausible explanation for the presence of the pigeons. Imagine being on the spot. You would just be like, that pigeon's just near me. Like, what if someone just came up and they said, you stole that pigeon and there's a pigeon standing next to you?

That's every parent's fear, actually, is that like, you have, have you ever had this feeling, Theo, when you're like, with a baby or a toddler, as a man, because everybody loves women, you know? Everybody looks at a woman with a child and they go, that's beautiful. That's nature. That's beautiful. That's so natural they all say. See a man with a child, what has he done? Yeah, way to get that baby. Have you ever had like just that little fleeting thought in your mind when you're out of

the house with your baby or toddler and been like someone could come up to me and be like hey whose baby is that and you'd be like fuck fuck he doesn't have any ID no Finn's faces my face just photocopied on to a baby they're like kind of scale told them I don't have to worry about that it's fine He looks exactly like. Looks exactly like me. My first baby was a clone of me, but the second one was not. So that's trouble, you know? I could have stolen that baby.

Pigeons, though. Yeah. They could be anywhere. Someone could accuse you of stealing a pigeon at any time. Yeah, you can't be like, I'm this pigeon. Yeah, hot quiz. What are you doing th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they doing that pigeon? I just, I think when when they say they could not give a plausible explanation for the presence of

the pigeons, that implies that someone out there is giving a plausible explanation for the presence of a pigeon. Yeah, and that explanation is probably like, these are my pigeons. I think they must be, they must must be cage they were ringed they had the little clips on the leg this is my pigeon this is my gun a subsequent check of the ringed animals showed them to be the property of a Belgian man yuck who had been unaware until then that his pigeons were missing well how much does he care about the pigeons if he didn't even notice they were gone looks over at his aviary the sort of doors doors the the the the the the the the the doors the doors the the the the doors the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the cl. their clips clips clips clips. the little clips. the little clips. the little clips. the little clips. the little clips clips cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl. cl. cl cl cl cl. cl. cl cl. cl. cl. cl. cl. cl. cl. cl. cl. cl. the little little cl. cl. cl. the little cl. the little cl. the the the the little cl. the the the the the the the the the the their little cl. Cli. I their little cli. I their little cli. I their little cli. I their little little little cli. I their little little cli. I their little cli. I had their little cli. I had their little cli. Well, how much does he care about the pigeons if he didn't even notice? Didn't even notice that were gone. Looks over at his aviary, the sort of doors just swinging open.

Huh. Please come around, they kick in the door. Why didn't you report this earlier, sir? The police kick in the door and what do they see a pigeon cage door wide open, feathers everywhere, window open and they see a disgusting Belgian man sitting on the couch, VR goggles on, lost in the world of the fucking Metabogan NFT pub. He's down there playing the pokey's. He doesn't know where his pigeons are. I don't care. Couldn't care if they lived or died. Does's made a winner deserve to have the pigeons you know? Ridiculous. Police think that the stolen pigeons were on their way to the Ukraine to be sold. Imagine if you

couldn't get your... Imagine if you couldn't get your... you couldn't get your... you couldn't get your illegal pigeon sale off because of like a lamb war between the Ukraine and Russia? Fuck, we've pulled off the biggest heist. Pulled off the biggest pigeon heist of the decade and this shit happens. They're coming to terms of the border going, this plan, so just never work having to bop each one of their pigeons on the head one by one, sadly. Stuffing four pigeons on my arsoll and trying to cross the border. Putting my pigeons under the floorboards.

Come back to. Racing pigeons can fetch extremely high prices. In 2019 a Belgian owner, in 2019 a Belgian owner sold one of his pigeons for 1.5 million euro. What? While the year before a pigeon changed hands for 2.7 million euro in China. I feel like we covered those pigeon sales. Yeah, we did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we, we, we're talking. Yeah. We've explored the world of pigeon sales in an earlier episode. And my only takeaway is that I feel like it's just like the art world where all of the prices are just made up and it's just a speculative frenzy. It's worth that much. No one's ever paying th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're ti. Yeah. ti. ti. ti. Yeah. ti. ti. ti. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. We did. We did. toge. We did. We did. Yeah. We did. We did. We did. It's sort of... But no one's actually paying that much. No one's ever paying that much. Um, it's just like a whole bunch of, you know, people kind of paying both sides of the bill, etc. to drive up the, uh, the worth of racing pigeons. Because personally I wouldn't pay any more

than like 400,000 euros for a racing pigeon. I mean that's a reasonable amount, but you know, 1.5 million, 2.7? Well, unfortunately in this case, it is not known how much the stolen pigeons were worth, but boy can we speculate. Maybe they were cheap ones. I'm going to start catching pigeons. Like, they're free. They're just out here. You could possibly catch a valuable one. Yeah. Pigeons are truly nature's bounty. Yeah. You could be out there with a burlap sack just scooping up pigeons every day. One of them's gonna be worth a bit.

Big old net. Just putting pictures of each one in sequence on the internet. Hey, is this a good pigeon? Yeah, if you guys know how to tell whether a racing pigeon is worth 2.7 million euros, shoot us a little email, give us some sort of traits to look for, identifying, etc. There's some pigeons that live down the road from me. I have a net. I've already got the net. Oh, well you're halfway to a fortune, you know. I am. Got bread crumbs, you got yourself a bloody money-making machine.

Theo doesn't give up his bread crumbs that easily. Yeah, that's so true with Thea. He's just, you sucking them all up off the counter after he makes his toast. Police said that the modus operandi of the three pointed to, quote, mobile banditism. A term used for traveling gangs committing opportunistic crimes such as robbing trucks, burglary, credit card fraud, pickpocketing, and petrol theft. They just sound like larykins. Sound like fun guys. I think, you know, I feel like in these days, in these times, in the surveillance states that we all live in, it's really kind of put a bit of a damper on that sort of opportunistic crime that people used

to be able to get up to, you know? You can't do it anymore because of political correctness and cancel culture. I was I was mansplaining to my wife the other day about what an immobilizer is in a car, you know? I can tell you. There you go. So, yeah, we were talking about like whether or not somebody could steal one of our cars, you know? I have no idea why this came up or anything, but I was saying, every car made after a certain point just has an immobilizer in it by default you lock your car and then you kind of Just can't start the car without a key There really isn't a great deal of point in breaking into a car these days. No, yeah, that's right. You need you absolutely need the fob like the radio stuff.

I don't think that there's anything more than just a like a very set of small set of specialist people who are like duplicating fobs. I. I, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that there's anything more than just a like a very set of small set of specialists people who are like duplicating fobs or getting around that except in like specific cases where there's no on issues with the cars but like here's the thing about stealing my car like if my car was to get stolen you know like your precious scoda. My scoda. You know, I didn't even check to see where that's... My sco- My sco- No, here's the thing.

I don't give a shit. The... Like, so if someone steals your car, you know, they give you a new car. They're like, oh, he's a car got stolen, hey? Like, nothing we can do about that. Anyway, you know, here's your car. Try telling the police about your stolen car. Yeah, no, just skip, I mean, the police are, they're a necessary step in lodging the insurance claim, right?

But like, fucking who, like, oh, they should kill these people. I don't care if I could steal it's your car now if you can if you can work out how to steal my schoader You see a nice scoader in Queensland. It's yours it's free for it. Yeah Scoters are free. They're like pigeons. The the first apartment building that I ever lived in I've probably told this story on the podcast four years ago, Dave, you don't have to call me out on it. The first apartment building that I lived in when I moved out of home, there was clearly somebody had access to like the secure parking garage under the apartments and somebody would regularly just go through there and break into all the cars by either like, you know, jimmying open the hatchback or whatever or smashing a window, that kind of thing.

The girl I was living with at the time had like a soft top Suzuki Sierra. And despite the fact that you can just like, pop the buttons and open the back of it, someone would still just like slash the whole thing with a with like a box cutter every time. That's annoying. And people then would get in there and this is how long ago this was. Somebody went in there and they stole my wallet of burned CDs.

Yeah, no, I had that happen to me when I was delivering for Domino. Someone just like reached in my open window and stole all my CDs. I'm like, what are you getting from that? Like a burned copy of to allow it? Well, first of all the things that I remember from that. Yeah, you get to listen to my copy of Ronnie Size free of charge, you know. But yeah, like one of the things that I remember from that was like calling the police. the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police and having the police the police the police the police the police and having the police them the police the police to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be like, and having to to to to be like, and having to be like, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to their their their their their their their their their their their the. I the. the. the. the. their their the the. the the. the. the the. the. toldld. to to one of the things that I remember from that was like calling

the police and having them be like, and, and then that's crazy. It's so cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and you just go like, hey, someone came down and broke into like 14 cars last night, and they go, cool, like, what, like, what, like, what, like, what, like, that, that, that, that, th..... that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, and, and, and, and, and, the, and, the, the, the, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the reform them, they've all had empathy training. So now they go, damn, I'm really sorry to hear that. You say everyone's cars got broken into and they go, oh, I felt that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Here are some self-care strategies. Yeah. Yeah. I distinctly remember, I distinctly remember like, you know, the police basically being like, so the break-in already happened, yeah? And you're like, yeah, and they go, what's that? No, it's not happening right now, no. Because I remember, I remember, you know, going down in the morning to go to work and

being like, oh, fuck man. Because I owned this, like, I owned this like very rare, weird, tiny, vintage car at the time, right? There were only like half a dozen of them registered in Australia. And someone had like ripped out the lock in the little hatchback from this like 1972 Honda Z360. And, um, and my girlfriend's soft top had been all slashed up and there were a bunch of other people standing around in the car park as well looking at their cars and going, damn that sucks. And someone who was standing like right across from us goes, oh I had my car detailed yesterday like it

was immaculately polished and all that sort of stuff, completely clean. And now there's all that sort of stuff completely clean and now there's all these really clear hand prints on the glass where someone has placed their hands and fingers and peered into the car before like smashing one of the windows that sounds like a lot of effort I know where you're going with this we called the cops said it's got to call the cops and they were like oh there's these really clear sets of fingerprints all over the stuff and they th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the. the. the. th the. th the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the the the the the the the they called the cops and they were like, oh there's these really clear sets of fingerprints all over the stuff and they're just like, yeah, we don't do that. We're not coming down there. That's not really. That's like a lot of paperwork. Don't believe everything you see on

CSI. We don't know how to do that. I don't do that. I don't do that. That's not really that NCIS stuff. That's not my vibe. That's not really like one of my hobbies or anything. And then they would tell you, but file a report, because if enough people file a report, then we can reference the rise in crime statistics to ask for more money so that maybe a couple of years from now, we might come down and look. And I was like, damn, I love the police. I saluted the flag. Yeah, what we're talking about this,

when I saw my sister up in Mackay, she was telling me that like on her block, one of the houses there, this guy got super fucked up, it's a two-story house, and he climbed up onto the roof of this house and he was just screaming at pass-abides, right? He's just obviously having a very bad time. And this lady was walking her dogs and she's like, shut the fuck up and get down. And this guy's like, what did you say? And jumps off of his roof onto the garage roof,

off of the garage roof onto the ground and just fucking chases her, like, what did you say? And jumps off of his roof onto the garage roof, off of the garage roof, onto the ground and just fucking chases her, like chases after her, and and like is only stopped by suddenly all of the neighbors kind of come out at this point where it's like clear that this is headed towards violence and and stop him from doing this, right? And then a couple of weeks later, it happened again. He gets back up on his roof and he's just like screaming obscenities at people. It's just kind of my thing. Yeah, and one of my sister's friends called the cops, and they're like, so you want us to come out there because someone's on their roof. Like, you know what, don't even, don't worry about it. Don't even get up, don't worry about it. We'll work this out.

You just, you do whatever you're doing over there. If you defund the police, what are you gonna do when that happens to you? The same shit you already do? I gotta get a job as a cop. I know it's not very left to stop me, but yeah, I mean, I feel like there's probably nothing more left than making a bunch of money from the system and doing nothing. Well what if, yeah, what if you didn't really have to do anything and then if you fucked up and like completely trampled all over somebody's rights, then get this, nothing happens.

All your co-workers will stick up for you. It's a nice supportive environment. And then they say, they say, uh, it's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to make mistakes. Look, if you're not making mistakes, you're not trying hard enough. That's so true. A mistake is just a little lesson, you know. Yeah. It'd be it'd be very cool to just be able to absolutely violate somebody's rights in the workplace.

And then your work just says, oh we did an internal review. Yeah. And that's like the end of it, you know. Yeah, we check that out. Thanks for bringing that to our attention. Don't bother. Don't bother. Don't bother there. More more. More more. More more. More more. More more. More more. More. More. More. More. More. More. More. More. You. You. We more. We. We. the more. the more. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It. It's th. It's th. It. It. It. It th. It th. It th. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that to our attention. Don't bother. Don't bother there, more of that stuff. We're good. Anyway, it's nap time down here at the precinct. Yep. Getting out here for the siesta. Later we're going to injectable some solution. Usovetinario. Got a whole lot of Ivermectin for the boys down at the precinct.

Because God knows cops don't like getting vaccinated, I'll tell you that. Hey, so true. So while we have checked in on what the police in the Netherlands are doing about these rampant pigeon thefts. We've got time for one more story from the police in the Netherlands are doing about these rapid pigeon thefts. We got time for one more story from the bizarre land of Holland. This one comes to us from the far less reputable news source, the NL Times. Take it with a grain of salt. Big grain of salt.

What are the, what are the Dutch sprinkles called? Big grain of those disgusting little Dutch sprinkles. They're probably delicious, I don't know what I'm talking about. Take it with a grain of haggleslag. Oh, fucking hell. This from the NL Times, fourth Dutch gynecologist caught using own sperm in fertility treatments. God, that... I appreciate the efficiency of that sentence. Kind of telling you everything you need to know.

You're saving money. You've got to cut costs in the business. Why are so many of these Dutch motherfuckers doing this? It's fucked up. A gynecologist at the Carolis hospital in Den Borsch also used his own sperm for fertility treatment, fathering at least one child between 1977 and 1985. Rookie numbers. Rookie numbers, you got some weak spums, brook. Why are you giving women these fucking beta sperms? Yeah, get him. Roast him.

Well, remember that other dude, where they were like, oh, we think this dude's knocked out like 30 or 40 kids at this clinic? With that, Hank Nagel. Great, Hank, Nagel. That's pretty normal. Henk. Hello, I'm Hink. He's the fourth fertility doctor in the Netherlands to inseminate women with his own sperm without permission. That's so many. Like it's, in one time it's not many. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's so many. Like it's, in one time it's not many, but in another way it's it's way too many. It is too many, I'm gonna say. I gotta go out on a limb here and just say I don't think they should be doing this. I think the maximum number of guys that you want insiminating women without their permission is zero. Ideally, I've got zero. Yeah, nice for round, easy number.

Yep. If you're like, hey, you know, how much is too much? It's any. Any. Piethein. Chiehain Beautein. Chairman of the board of the Jeroan Bosch Hospital, into which the Carolis Hospital merged calls Nails actions quote incomprehensible and inadmissible. Those are pretty light words you know.

Inadmissible I feel like that's a translation that's not really doing the wrong the neighbors. Yeah I think that's the kind of kind of sloppy wordmanship you expect from the in-hour times but go on. That's true. The hospital informed the health care and youth inspectorate and asked for an independent investigation. People treated by Nagel can report to the Jerome Bosch Hospital. Butting said, We want to support them and investigate whether there are the cases. The case came to light last year when a donor child reported to the Jerome Bosch hospital. He said that while trying to find his biological father, DNA investigation resulted in, quote, careful matches with blood relatives of the

former gynecologist. Wow. The hospital approached... He really thought he had the perfect crime there, like, just sort of like dusting his horrible dirty hands. I'm like, well, no one will ever know. I'm a horrible little come freak. Now if I was getting my horrible little come freak on at the insumination factory, I would maybe like find a file of a guy who was also six two and very handsome, and I would just put his name down when, like when I put my sperm into the bucket Big sperm bucket I would say hey this one came from tall handsome man You know and then when they when they follow it up They're like oh, it's this guy

Instead he well like what the fuck happened here? Did he just put his own come in there and then just leave the father part blank? And they had to figure it out by doing like genealogy? Who knows? Hmm. Do you get your little card? Like, as they say, there's a scenario where you kind of walk out with a card, like a baseball card with your donor that it's like you know like you said six four handsome etc.

Got a stats on it. Yeah and then like your child grows up and he's five four. You're just fucking you are ropable. Yeah you'd be pissed off. Yeah. The hospital approached Nagel for a kinship investigation which showed that he was indeed the donor child's father. He confessed to using his own sperm in three other fertility treatments.

Come on, brother. Come on, dude. It is unclear whether any children were born there. Quote, he told us that what he was doing is to help the intended parents, Buting said, and that he would never do it again from today's perspective. What do you mean? 77 was a long time ago. Was it really that different?

We've said it before how like the Netherlands seems to be going through years at like too faster pace. They're just fucking catching up all of a sudden like catching up really quickly. Yeah, I just woke up from a coma and just whoa oh man a lot of the shit we're doing is just super not cool now. Now as previously referred to these numbers are not impressive right we've got one confirmed baby and up to four babies but at the moment those three other babies are theoretical. Yeah. However, let's check in with the people

who are dominating the league. I don't think I like where this is going. Not super-hype one. The way this is being framed? I'm not enjoying the fucking portentousness of this. And we're about to hang up some jerseys in the rafters of the all-time unwanted insemination experts of the Netherlands. The Nagel revelation follows three comparable cases.

Last week it was revealed that Leiden gynecologist, Joss Beek, insiminated women with his own sperm and fathered at least 21 children at the Elizabeth Hospital between 1973 and 1986. Why are you doing this? Me or them? Like why are they doing this? What are you getting from this? I think... I think... I wonder whether they actually they actually truly believe that this was helping. They're like, oh, you know I've got some pretty good come myself. Yeah, like, no Lucy, like were they out of cum, were they just like, oh, we're cumless at

the cum clinic. Oh, so embarrassing. Well, to save the day I I'm gonna nut into this mason jar and sort it out. I don't fucking know. Like, I'll... No, I think... This is some weird psychological shit for sure, right? Everything that we know about men. Yeah. Everything that we know about men suggests... It's mostly positive. Pretty good up until now. Everything good up until I heard this story. Damn, pretty good up until 1973. Everything that we know about men, I think, suggests that it is completely feasible,

that all of these dudes just went crazy and were like, hey, what a perfect opportunity for me to just drop my seed all over the place, you know? Which is incredibly fucked up. But there's, like, if you did it once or twice in a decade or something, and then you wanted to mount the argument. Hey, we ran out of cums. Hey circumstantially, you know, I put the big dipstick down into the cum tank and it came out bone dry. Turn the cum tap and it's

just a sad little drip. Yep, cloud of dust came out of the cum tap. Like oh and oh and I was I was helping, I thought I was helping. I would be willing to entertain that argument from a man who was operating in the 70s if he did it once or twice. How many times did they do it? This dude has fathered at least 21 children. Yarn Wildchut did the same in the Sophia Hospital in Zwale, now the Issale Hospital, fathering at least 47 children between 1980 and 1994. And fertility doctor Jan Carbat, are all-time leading scorer and going straight into the Hall of Fame fathered at least 70 children using his own sperm at his fertility clinic.

That is psycho. That is simply too many. That's a lot of children you got out there. You, like to father at least 70 children, you absolutely have to be knocking other people's come into the dustbin and then putting your own there, right? You didn't run out of cums to have 70. No, no way. You are finding any excuse to get other people to leave the one out of there. You are learning sleight of hand tricks.

Yeah. The guy comes and gives you the warm cup of cum and you go, oh thank you and then it like slips down your, down your sleeve. Down your sleeve and then you slip out your thing of cum straight into the cum bucket. It's like the movie now you see me. Run up to the nurse and be like, no, no, no, don't use that cum sample. I'm, you're gonna say, this is gonna sound really stupid, but I accidentally, when I was microwaving my fish for lunch, I accidentally microwaved that cum sample as well. So it's probably all messed up.

Oh, they're all dead. They're no good. Here's one that you can use, same guy, same everything. Don't even worry about it. Dave, he just dropped in like 70 vials of cumbersome, just them. So I'm sure you can like just take another one. Yeah, that guy could not stop coming. I'm picturing somebody doing like the, you know, follow the Queen's card trick thing, but it's three jars of come. Which one's he? The other two, it's actually, it's actually... Is this your cum? Is this your cum?

Is this your cum? And the crazy thing is that, you know, it's all about, it's all about like slide of hand, it's all about, you know, diverting your attention attention because it turns out that he has actually hidden the original jar of cum and all three of the jars that he's moving around in front of you are his cum. Yeah, no matter which come you pick, you're getting his come. Yeah, he's done a what's his name from the watchman? Whereas like, I wouldn't be telling you about my evil plan.

I shropped the cum 30 minutes ago. You are already pregnant. I don't like that. I don't like the concept that this guy is like the shack of dishonestly impregnating the people that come for his care. This is, I mean he comes for their care, but, um, like, all right, I don't, I don't mean for this to sound as more erotic as it's going to sound, right? But where does this fall on the spectrum of like, I don't know, sexual assault? Yeah, it's somewhere, it's somewhere on that spectrum there. It's on, yeah, it's not good. You know, you meant to get an anonymous donor, but... You meant to... you'd probably assume if I was going to get this, that it's definitely not that guy's come.

I mean, look, you know, you can say anonymous, but we can all agree that this is not in the spirit of the anonymous conversation. Yeah, it could be anyone's come except that you you you you you you you you you you you you you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. the. the. the. that's the. that the. that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that of the anonymous conversation. Yeah, it could be anyone's come except that guys is sort of the deal that you're getting into there. Yeah, anyone but the guy with the clipboard that I'm talking to. Yes, basically. That's what I would be led to believe. Yep, don't care for it at all. I guess we could take some comfort from the fact that each guy that they uncover has lower and lower numbers? Maybe that's good? Oh you're reckon they're tamping down on this now? I think, I don't know, maybe they've caught all the old timeers at this point and now they're just catching the stragglers. Yeah, they've gotten the zodiac come up.

Yeah. It's fine. Remember when the Zodiac was just some guy? I do. Just some guy. It wasn't even the guy that like, fucking, the movie Zodiac spent the back half of going like, hey, not saying it's this guy, but it's definitely this guy. Didn't turn out to be that guy. Pretty cool. Check out the movie Zodiac.

If you want to see stuff that aged badly. It's a good movie. David Fincher is a good guy. Didn't turn out to be the Zodiac killer. What do we know? Oh man. I, me and Eldo watched the social network recently, because I hadn't seen it since probably around when it came out. And yeah, we watched it and I tell you what, that is a movie that has aged like a fine wine in its portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg and his intentions and his character. Yeah, it's a good movie.

The thing I remember, like the thing I remember at the time was people being like, oh well this is a real, they're being very mean to Mark Zuckerberg, aren't they? And now with like a decade in between, yeah, it turns out not mean enough. Yep, it turns out it just totally, it just totally nailed all the righteee right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right the right the right the right the right the right thes out it just totally nailed all the right notes of this man is just an absolute sociopath, doesn't care about anybody or anything. Line go up. That's what's important to him. Line go up.

And then it ends the movie by saying like, because obviously the movie was filmed and released sometime after Facebook had started to ascend to cultural dominance. And it ends the movie by saying like, Facebook now has a user base of 25 million daily users. And I was like, imagine that. Fuck. We've ruined everything. Oh.

It's cool how things not only are getting worse but at an increasing pace. Man. Well, well, that's a podcast. That's it folks. That's what we call podcasting. Thanks for sticking around. Thanks for finding out what's going on in the world of pigeon theft, NFT scams, and irresponsible impregnations from the 70s by the perverts of the Netherlands.

And after all, isn't that what you tune into the show for? I'm asking. I don't actually know. I assume so. We do not know at this point. And of course, if you are a recent or first-time listener, all this month, you will be enjoying our Freemium Free Brewery treats. Oh, it's Fremium Freebrewery. That came around fast? Yeah. It's like only yesterday it was Fremium Freebrewery. Oh, I love saying it. It just comes out so smooth. Fremiberary in which we release all of our bonus episodes onto the free feed

So you can get a little taste a little dropper on the tongue to see what it's like to have those bonus episodes every week So enjoy that or don't I'm not the boss of you I can't be responsible for your feelings for the things you do or anything like that. I don't think Lucy can either and I'm not th, I'm not try try th, I'm not try try th th th th th thr thr thr thr to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. the the the the the the thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. thr-I the thr-a. the the thr-I thr-I the thr-I thr responsible for your feelings, for the things you do or anything like that. I don't think Lucy can either, and I'm not trying to make her responsible for it. Thanks, appreciate it. You're welcome. So, we'll see you later this week, as you, whether you are a patron or not, enjoy the second free episode thee.

Bye-bye. Enjoy the second free episode that you can.