Boonta Vista - EPISODE 238: Thick With Weasels

Episode Date: February 24, 2022

Lucy, Andrew, Theo, and Ben bring you: A scam that promises to put a silverback gorilla directly into the back of your Mazda 6, a Cincinnati Chilli Parent Trap situation, and the trials and tribulations of a Finnish penis. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Bundndavista, episode 238. I'm Theo. And I'm a train. What does that mean? Let me explain. Here comes the train. Look at me, I'm a train. Look at me, I'm a train on a track, I'm a train, I'm a train, I'm a tric-train, yeah.

Look at me, got a load on my back, I'm a train, I'm a train, I'm a tri, I'm a chick-a-train, yeah. Are thus? Look at me, I'm going somewhere, I'm a train, I'm a train, I'm a train, I'm a tric-train, yeah. When I say, look at me, I'm a train, on a track, I'm a train, I'm a train, I'm a tra-train, yeah. What do I mean? What aspects of trainness amthe ability to serve others? Simplicity? Is it that I've traded personal agency for altruism

and accepting that to be the best me to be a functioning part of a larger hole, I must accept the reality of being on rails, that complete freedom is not compatible with a kind and just society. And to be a train, and all that that entails, it means, allowing myself to be myself to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theirc, to be a personal society. And to be a train, and all that that entails, means allowing myself to be steered. Or is it something else entirely? Have I missed the point? Please, allow me to start again. Look at me, I'm a train on a track, I'm a train, I'm a train, I'm a trac, I'm a train, I'm a tracrain, yeah. Look at me, got a load on my back, I'm a train, I'm a train, I'm a chicka train, yeah.

Look at me, I'm going somewhere, I'm a train, I'm a train, I'm a tric-train, yeah. When I say, look at me, I'm a train, I'm a trick-a-train, yeah. What do I mean? What aspects of humanity must I have left behind? Look, here, a young the creature he sees none of himself in. Taking those wings, he carefully presses them between the pages of his book and weighs them down patiently, and finally presenting his book of studies to his grandmother, mutual delight. Look here, a cadre of soldiers pull a stunned deer back to shelter, its forelegate shattered by a blast fragmentation.

They soothe it like a dying brother or friend, forgetting who threw the grenade momentarily. How much of this have I left behind? Hmm. I've been allowed to start again. Look at me, I'm a train, on a track, I'm a train, I'm a train, I'm a tric-train, yeah. Look at me, got a load on my back, I'm a train, I'm a train, I'm a tric-train, yeah. Look at me, I'm going somewhere, I'm a train, I'm a tr-a-a-a-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchchn, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a, looka, looka, looka-a, looka-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-chchchchchchchn, thn, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, I'm a trick-a-train, yeah. When I say, look at me, I'm a train, on a track, I'm a train, I'm a tric-train, yeah, allow me to dispense of the metaphor. I'm a DB class 101, three-phase electric locomotive,

and I weigh 83 tons. The procedure was a complete success. Through my body I pull 15 kilovolts of electricity. My arms and legs have traded moment for torque, pulling me forwards irresistibly. My flesh remains, but repurposed, compressed, tantilized into steel. You see me now post-feromorphosis.

My blood has been slowed down. My marrow performed this task, pulling my blood down and thick. My blood has been slowed down and is now black as oil and circulating just as essentially as the blood in your system. My blood has been slowed down and is now black as the black as oil and circulating just as essentially as the blood in your system. My blood has been slowed down and is now black as oil and circulating just as essentially. You may too become this. My matter has been disposed of, my liver has been disposed of, my calcium transmuted. You see me now post-feromorphesis.

I have no tides and the moon has no pull. Just as the golan of Chelm had the holy word for truth inscribed on his head, I too have had the holy word of truth inscribed within myself, an iron golem. The Truth flows in tiny voltages, scattered across silicon, and it speaks of the timetable until my word of Emettus, the Aleph scashed away, becoming just met, death. There is only the timetable. You too may become this. I have no fingers with which to type code. There is only the timetable. You too may become this. I have no fingers with which to type code.

There is only the timetable. I'm odd rails and I am free. I have no fingers with which to type code. There's only the time taber. I am odd rails and I am free. We're pulling into the station now and Lucy, Andrew and Ben, stepped inside me. Welcome everybody, how are we today? Hi, how are you? I'm good. I'm feeling good. Like, how are you? Like, how are you? Like, how are you? No, how are I? I feel great. How are you? How are you? Okay. I feel really good. I feel really? I'm good. I feel really good. I'm, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the train. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm try. I'm train. I'm train. I'm train. I'm try. I? Like really, no I mean this. I feel great. How are you?

Okay. I feel really good. I'm a train. Is there something? Yeah, I'm a train. Yeah, I'm a train. Yeah, I'm a train. Yeah, I'm a train.

I'm a train. Yeah. I'm a train, I'm a train, I'm a trick-a-train, yeah. You weren't always a train. No, I used to be human. Yeah, and now, I was normal before this and then before that I was not normal. Yep, so you've gone from... Yeah. I guess my first question is Theo, have you seen the movie Tetsuo the Iron Man? No, I haven't. Okay, you should maybe check that out I feel like it might speak to you in some sense. I can't

really watch, I haven't got eyes anymore. Okay, yeah so it's a bit difficult for me. Well either does Tetsuo the Iron Man anymore. And I guess my other question is have you reached the stage of parenthood where you have to decide which play school host do you think is the hottest? 100% it's either Rachel or Karen. Okay, just Justin Clark, the I'm a Train Lady is not getting in there for you? Oh, I don't. Okay, so this album's about 11 years old at this point and I'm watching new stuff, fresh off the ABC Airwaves. I've got to turn this off before it drives me

thank you so that's on play school and it features the line got a load on my back yes that's one I'm hearing sometimes that's just where it ends up yeah yeah can I can I try I have a few questions um but this one I'm gonna have to to putha to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to the to the to the the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. to try. to to to have a few questions, but this one I'm gonna have to, gonna have to pull the curtain back if that's okay. How much Hebrew did you have to learn to do that intro? Not a lot. Just, I mean just a couple of words. Okay. Yeah, just, it's interesting because that seems like a lot of work. I mean for a beautiful intro, obviously, but uh... The little detail there that I did not foresee. I checked out at work at 2.30 this after day. I'm like, boss, my brain has stopped working.

And you're fine, you're fine you say? I'm normal. Yeah, I'm gonna say it. I think you've been hanging out with that goat Black Philip like far too much lately and I'm worried about his influence on you. It's always about the goat isn't it? He just wants me to live deliciously and that's and that's what you mean is good to me? What is bad about? What is bad about that? You guys don't want me to live deliciously? Yeah you don't want that for me? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? that? to? to that? that? that? to to, that? to to that? that? to that? that? that? that? to to that? that? that? that. that's that. that's that's that's that? that's that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that. that? that? that. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the? the? the the? the the? the the the? the theate? theate? the? thooooooooooo? the? that? to to live deliciously. You don't want that for me. That's what I'm hearing. And if this is your first episode of the show, welcome. I was thinking that little tiny bit. This is a decision that we made for ourselves that we have to stick by. We can't be one of those shows where you say, hello and welcome to this podcast, here's what the podcast is about. No, we couldn't do that. We that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th th. th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that that that that that thi that that that that tho- tho- tho- tho- tho tho tho thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi that is thi that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that that that that thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. the podcast is about. No. No. We couldn't do that.

You'll figure that out the hard one. That'd be embarrassing. That'd be some dork shit. You know? Also we don't know what the show's about anymore. I think is the other. I hope this is the episode where you've told your friends. Hey, I love cuky. Very low energy. Put it

on when you go to bed, but at double speed. Because your sleep will be too deep if you play at a normal speed. Play it when your kids in the car. Yeah. If you leave it playing and like it auto plays like episodes after the one has finished playing, you will not wake back up. Yeah, that's a problem. Set up on headphones, kind of go into your kids' room and just sort of put those headphones on and really just stream it into their brains. And then just let us know in 15 years how that child has turned out. We will still be podcasting at that point. Yeah.

I feel like Leah Vandenberg was on play school a lot when my kids wrote that age. She's, yep, still on there. I can vouch for that. So, have you heard that song a couple of times, Theo? At this point, yes. Yeah, because it seems like you maybe have, um... Be internalized something? You might have like, it's like, I feel a lot lot of Ted Chang short stories are based on him sort of

thinking on a simple truth and then extrapolating that truth to a sort of large story and then developing a narrative around the complications of that larger story and I think you have heard the phrase, I'm a train being said by a human woman and you've thought, but what would that that be like? What if I was a train? What if I was a train? What if I was... What if I was... specifically? What would my experience be? And it sounds ultimately quite positive for you. My blood's slow now. It's oil. It's oil. And you don't have to... It's kind of run smoothly. You don't have to type code anymore. I don't have to type... Well, I haven't got my little thin any fingers the fingers thin any fingers thin thin thin thin th fingers thin th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin' thin' th thin' th thin' thi thi thi thi to to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi. thi. thi. What thi. What thi. What thi. What my thi. What my my to my to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. What to to It's all coming up, Theo. It's all coming up trains. Got my little, got my little knobs to twiddle here. Mm-hmm. And before you just had the one, yeah. Your penis. No good. So, um, Theo, did you have any ideas about like how we might, uh, how we might sort of work our way from

from this part of the show? Yeah, based on the bedrock of that intro. No, I kind of, I was going right up to the, right up to the mark here. My like Ableton crashed and stuff and I had to like get all my MIDI, like my MIDI controller settings reprogrammed. Yeah, didn't get up to the show part. Mostly just the train part. Yeah. It's mostly train stuff. Much like the train man from the movie The Matrix Reloaded, really the train stuff is your business. It's just kind of all he wants to talk about the train man.

Can't get that guy to shut the fuck up about trains. Yeah, and then you meet another guy, right? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. th. the. It's the. It's the. the. It's the. It's thee. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's th guy to shut the fuck up about trains. Yeah, and then you meet another guy, right? And you're like, can you believe that guy? All he ever wants to talk about is the trains. The trains running on timeout. He's, he makes everything with the trains happen. And then the guy that you're talking seen it. Bro, you haven't seen the Matrix Reloaded? I haven't, no. No, which one?

Oh yeah, I have seen the Matrix Reloaded. Yeah, it's the second one. Number two, yeah. It's real number two. Okay, Nanny's Mad Magazine. Get them. Matrix re-choded, more like. We're still, I don't think any of us have a segue here at this point. I've really been, I've been thinking on it, I've got nothing.

We're so good at podcasting. It's incredible that we manage to make this much money out of it. It seems like it's maybe a scam. It's time for the scam watch slash nature quarter. Oh boy. Oh, fuck. I belong, who took a son, nation corner, rubber crab, snipped my dick. Yeah, that was seamless. Now this story, I'm not really a story, I guess it's a scoop, maybe, might call it.

This comes to us from a friend of the show my friend and boss Beck who for personal reasons was googling the phrase Panthers for sale and she clicked on the first result which is a website called wild animal pets.com. Great SEO. Yeah I mean they've really nailed that part for sure. um let me ease you into the world to've really nailed that part for sure. Let me ease you into the world of wild animal pets.com by reading to you from the policy section of their website. Cool. I don't want to be pushed in there too fast. No, well you want to just, I have not. Like a hot bath, you know, hot bath. A couple of toes at a time. I don't feel like I have that finite control over my toes.

I'm putting all five toes at once. Interesting. No, calm down. Slow yourself down. Have a bit of discipline. Quote, we have licenses and permits for each and every animal we put on market. Our organization is fully registered by the Uganda Wildlife Authority and the CITE authority and we can deliver any animal to any part of the world. For you to own a wild animal as your pet, you need to purchase it from a verified organization with all permits and licenses, granted it to sell wild animals and pets. To possess an animal or pet with legal documents, contact us. We provide all the legal documents, contact us. We provide

all the legal documents that make you own pets and animals of your choice without any inconveniences from the authorities. Authorities with a capital A there. Yeah. Inconveniences. Yeah. Inconveniences. A bit of foreshadowing there without any inconveniences from the authorities. For all our clients, I recommend you to pay the commitment fee of $300 first before going further with the purchase of the p the the th th th th the th you th to make you to make you to make you to to the purchase to make you to to the purchase to to the purchase to make you to make you to make you the authorities. For all our clients, I recommend you to pay the commitment fee of $300 first before going further with the purchase of any animal of your choice to prevent inconvenience. Hey? So, hold on. Yeah.

They want you to do like a $300 version of giving your girlfriend a commitment ring? I think close to when they want you to give you give a car a spin at the dealership and you leave your credit card or your car keys behind sort of deal. You put a down payment down on your... Like the commitment ring for your high school. Yeah, we're going to be fucking later, but for now, we're going to be fucking their thoan. But for now, get this ring I got for $15 from the malls. when you're in high school. Oh, you shouldn't. But these days, who knows? Now of days, don't give me starters.

It's probably on their phones. Now, what sort of animals are we talking about here? Let me, uh... No, well, hold on. I do want to say, I was listening to what you said, and it sounded a lot like they said, all they said, they did offer the animal of your choice. Yeah, that's an animals of your choice without any inconveniences from the authorities. From the authorities.

You've really got to stress them. I've been watching some nature documentaries and I've got all kinds of ideas. Lucy, if you can have any animal in the house, the whole world, what's it going to be? Reckon? That's like a cat, but, that's, thau, thau, thau, thau, thau, thau, thau, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, they........ Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, th, th, th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, that's, that's, that's that's that's thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. thoo. Yeah, tho. Yeah,, yeah. I mean, you're not really doing pie in the sky thinking there. That's like a cat but like weird. Yeah. You can have... What are you one? I guess a monkey? How octopus would be cool? Yeah. I feel like a raccoon has the benefits of the little hands and that's all the cute, the cute parts of having little hands and it can hold things and it can look suspicious and stuff. But it can't really like thrash the like like like the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi that thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th having little hands and it can hold things and it can look suspicious and stuff.

But it can't really like trash the place like a monkey. Well if it does it just eat the trash afterwards. It could learn how to use a gun. Like a monkey will. Yeah. A monkey is inevitably going to grow to hate you for what you have done to it. How many people have had their face to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be. to be. to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their their. their their their. their their their. their their their their their their their their to be. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. their their their their their face pulled off by a raccoon? I don't know. Yeah. How can an animal with no recorded fatality to be illegal?

That's right. Feastality. Now, so to give you some idea of the scope of this website, I've taken some excerpts. So it's not a particularly modern website. It's been designed, I thinkthink with either blog spot or WordPress. So all the content on there, instead of the way you think of a website as being discrete pages, is just a series of blog posts. And I've taken some highlights here. I'll start you off with the post titled, Purchase Online Harmless, Unique Pets Australia. Harmless is doing a lot of work there. Real what could go wrong energy. Buy unique pets Australia from our online pet

store. We opened up this pet store project committed to give our customers the best services ever. We sell and deliver animals worldwide. We made it easy for animal buyers. Now you can order an animal of your choice without living where you are. That's going to be a problem for me because I do live where I am. I always live where I am, personally. Like the last five or ten places I've lived have all been where I was at the time. There are many animals that have rarely seen. This makes them unique and they are both wild and domestic. Here is a chance for you to purchase an to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to to their to to to to to to to th th. th. th. Uh that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi.. This makes them unique and they are

both wild and domestic. Here is a chance for you to purchase an owned a unique animal of your choice. Although most of the unique ones are wild, we first treat, tame, and train them well. This makes them harmless to humans. Have you been looking for the easiest way of possessing a unique animal in your premises? Buy it online here and it will be delivered to you at a few days. A few days? From Uganda? Yes. They pop it in one of those express post-satchels.

Now here are a few specific animals they're offering. Polkat is a very unique animal. Hell yes. Now we talking. It is healthy, trained and tamed, making it harmless. You can buy it for $711. Fuck yes, what's this site? Wild Animal Pets. Dot com. You're going to like what you see. People also ask, what is the difference between a ferret and a polkat?

A ferret can be called a domesticated pole cat. Oh, I didn't know that. Ferrets have been domesticated from European polecats. So could we just get a ferret. Can be easily differentiated by its unpleasant smell? Oh, that little dude. He doesn't smell. Look at another one for you here. I'm looking at a Welsh pole cat right now.

They do look pretty nice. Oh, that little dude. He doesn't smell. Spiny rat, and she is a female. Her name is Tiara, and she is one month old. Buy it and make it your pet. $200. Are they just throwing a net on whatever is within like throwing range? Well, I mean, I'll let you decide how deep the

scam goes here. Here's another one. Here is a male opossum. We named it Grux and it's healthy and human friendly. Okay. Sorry, Grux? I can't wait. Grucks. He sounds nice. Fark is Bok. The guardians of the Galaxy character. Here's another one. Buy your dream pet here. Martin available for sale. $290. Oh Martin!

They did. So this is not a Martin. A-Martin. Not an animal called Martin. Only $290. Oh, I thought it was an animal called Martin. No, this is not a specific. They're really big on their on their friggin one of these mustle a day.

Is that the class of animal that they? Yeah well they're on their weasels. Let me expand in in weasel country over there. We're just we're thick with weasels over here. Be careful, this is weasel country. Open your sock drawer, weasels everywhere. Let me expan the tax on available, but actually now I think this might the same tax on. We'll find out. Pangolin for sale, USA. Pangolin for sale, USA, online at an affordable price.

Pagland's... I gotta say, you know what was really keeping me from owning a Pangolin is just the price tag? That's the price for me, yeah. Panglids are one of the most endangered and vulnerable animals, making them unique and expensive. Chiching. Yeah, those are the two things that makes it. Yeah. Many people around the globe have never heard of these animals. Here is a chance for you to legally own one in your premises.

Just, you never know it either. Have it in your house. It just arrives on you to the step. Huh, what a pangolin is. So far now, there are a few interested in owning pangolids, but the reason behind this is they don't know how good and beautiful a pangolid is. These amazing animals are very adoptive. One kept in a nice homestead.

Once you start keeping your pangolin in your premises, there are a few things you have to know about them. These animals are susceptible to diseases like pneumonia are the development of ulcers in captivity. This easily leads the pangolin to death. Make sure that before ordering this animal you can take good care of it. $1,600. Yeah, here's my panglin. Just motion towards this horrible looking thing. My panglin. Chris, he's very sick. Chris, he's very sick. Here's some more of their offerings, diversifying a little bit more here. Lion Cubs for sale here online at affordable prices. An animal cub is a young carnivorous mammal and they are mainly found in the wild. Is it legal to own lion cubs?

Uh, probably... I mean, how much trouble can they make their little? They're just little guys. Many people have this question in their heads, but the answer is yes. Okay. It has been clearly put up that anyone could own any kind of exotic animal if he or she qualifies to do so. Sorry, I'm true. If your exotic animal is fully registered in law and it's tamed and healthy, you're free

to keep it as long as you can provide it whatever it needs. I'm almost 100% sure that's not how it works. This website is so good, I'm sorry, if you want to look at what I just posted in the Discord. I would love that very much. I'm having travel here. Ben is that on your list? Oh, the bulldog where it's a picture of a pug?

It's a picture of a little pug and it says bulldog. It's a picture of a little pug and it says bulldog. Place your order and own a manageable pet. Each and every day the animal lawkeepers arrest over 40 individuals owning illegally. We wouldn't like you to be a victim. Of what? The authority is capital A.

That number seems high. That seems quite high. Above are the newborn lion cubs available on market. Press in your orders now and own your dream animals, $750. This website's amazing, like they're offering great prices. Yeah, it's way less than I'd expect to. I mean, you pay that for a fucking... Silverback gorilla. Forest cat. $12,000? How much is the That's way less than I'd expect to... I mean, you pay that for a fucking... Silverback gorilla. Forest cat. $12,000? How much of the Silverback gorilla?

Yeah, 12 grand. That's only like three pure breed puppies. Yeah, and 90% of that's in shipping. That's true. You don't know what you're going to pay in shipping for that. Lucy. Do you want to read to read the description the description to read the description the description the description the description to read the description the description the description to read the description the description the description to read the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description that description. that description. that's that's that. that. that. that. that. that. the description. the description. the description. the description. the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description the description there for the Silverback Gorilla? Oh, I would love to. I'll start off by saying it's a very sexy photo of the Silverback Gorilla. Like he's making that booty pop. He's making it pop. It's looking good.

That says, despite their fearsome looks, grillillas are peaceful creatures and are largely herbivorous since they only eat vegetables. Not at all true. And this makes it easy to feed them since the vegetables are relatively cheap. The silver bag gorilla is relatively friendly and adaptive to all kinds of environments. To your two-bedroom apartment. He'll just eat some veggies. Won't cost you much. I'm clicking buy. So now that previous post I read to you, they're saying that lion cubs are $750, but then another one of their posts, they say, there is no specific price for lion cubs, but the range of price for these animals is from $900 up to $7,500. The more rare lion clubs go, the high of the price.

That's supply and demand, economics 101. That's smart. What's that economist? The economics guy. John Adams. Adam Scott. Adam Scott. That's Adam Smith. That's the Dilbett guy's name. Scott Adams. There we go. I've got another one here. Exotic reptiles for sale. There are many types of reptiles throughout the world. So true. These include snakes, lizards, chameleon, etc. So on and so forth. Use your imagination. The copy on this is amazing. Being the copywriter for this website. Snakes, lizards, other, other

specific kinds of lizards. These reptiles are cute and can make great pets. For those who would like to use them for shows, this is the right place. The monitor lizard. This is my show iguana. Take it to the Westminster iguana show. He's a great example of the Westminster iguana show. He's a great example of the breed.

The monot lizard is a type of reptile which is commonly found in Africa and Asia. It is a cute pet for those who like it. Please contact us to get you this wonderful reptile pet. $1,350. Um... More than a lion cub. Yeah. The chameleon is another wonderful reptile. More than a lion cub. More than a lion cub. The chameleon is another wonderful reptile with its ability to change color according

to its surroundings. For the chameleon, it's founded most of the continents. Not Antarctica though, I think. That's like the one that's not on. $450. Now they're quite heartily endorsing the concept of reptile ownership. Reptiles are very interesting animals which can really make the best pet ever. This can be an animal that could always make you happy at your home with kids.

Just try to figure out how much a Goana would fucking hate living in your Sydney apartment, you know? Well as long as you had a balcony, get some sun. A reptile you can always move with around the couch, and typically unique. Our exotic breeds are well-traded tamed, since we are verified by the legal organs. Oh, that wasn't a specific reptile that you can move around your couch. No. Just note, payment of $300 is paid as commitment fee on purchase of any pet.

I restate in that one. Aren't you paying the money for the pet? Well, you put some money down first. Yeah, a little down payment. Now, I want you to hold in your mind how much a monoliz it was, that was $1350 when I say the price of the next one. The cheetah's coat is pale brown slash yellow and covered with distinctive black spots. The cheetah is a member of the cat family. Oh well. While all animals move the cheetah is extremely

fast and it breaks the fastest animal on the planet. Imagine how quickly a cheetah could get your newspaper in the morning. I can't. All animals move. All animals move. All animals move. All animals move. I don't, is that probably true?

What do you think? What animal doesn't move? A sea urchin? No, they move. They're buffeted about. Coral. This is even like, oh, have you ever seen one of those like videos of a big starfish moving? Yeah, time lapses of starfish has just gone hand.

I love that chip. Don't like it at all. They got all their little, their little fingers on the bottom. Blip bleep. No thank you. This is a hybrid cheetah with kittens, which are a hybrid cheetah with a cheetah with kittens which are two months old and they are family trained. Place your order now. $1,200 with what? Bringing home a cheetah into the family is my newborn baby. Part cheetah part man. Those classic family trained cheetahs. Now this next animal will be familiar to listen to the show mainly from when they escape captivity in North Carolina. Often people will take a look at a serval and assume it to be a threat to the life life the life the life the life the life the life the life the life the life the life the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be a chater. to be to be to be toeater. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be. I to be. I to be. I to be. I to be. I to be. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. their. their. the the the the the the the te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. to. to. to. al and assume it to be a threat to the life of its caretaker.

You'd be wrong. But this medium-sized cat is only interested in small animal prey like birds, rodents, and perhaps a small antelope species. $900. Um, I'm going to give you a few more, uh, a speed round of some animal prices. A quacker will set you back $2,500. I was actually gonna, I was gonna maybe say as my animal, though, like a quacker. Yeah, I mean the market for a quacker. They're not that pricey. They're not that price.

You just can't, you just can't find them. I mean, I was thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking th thinking th thinking th thinking th thinking thin thin thin thin thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. They're not that pricey. You just can't, you just can't find them. I mean, I was thinking about this. Like, I think if you really wanted to, you could go to Rotness Island and put a Quacker in your backpack. Yeah, stuff one in your pocket. You could have to live in Western Australia. You can just visit now. You can just visit now. allowed it to West Australia. You're probably not going to get on the plane. Oh you'd have to drive. If you're willing to live in Western Australia and you like you could get a

Quaker. Like if you live in Perth, you know, a Quacker is a day trip away from you. I mean we've got quite a few listeners in Perth and they're just sitting there every day, day and day out, not owning a Quaker. And they probably own a backpack already. So that's one obstacle gone. Yep. If there's any listeners out there who would like to post a Quokker to us? Just let us know. What's our PO box? We should get one of those. We would get some psycho shit I imagine. We should. I want people to make little dolls of us. Don't invite that, because it'll happen. A snow leopard will cost you $6,000. Okay.

Yeah, I can see. Snow leopard's a premium leopard. Yeah. It's hard to get that one. You know, that's fucking, just to get footage of one with its babies. They're like disguise a cameraman as a throwne. That's a premium.that's a premium leopard that's a premium if that's what that's short for they have 10 flamingos going for a tidy sum of nine hundred and twenty

dollars each oh that's the bargain they're not offering a bulk deal on the flamingos to my next question maybe like an eight plus two you know I pay for eight flamingos you give me two flamingos that seems like a good deal to me. Yeah, I've seen them online and they kind of, they do kind of walk around in funny little packs and I wouldn't get the same effect from one flamingo. No, it'd be walking kind of funny but you needed to be amplified. Yeah. A white tiger will set you back $2,320. That's a fucking... That's a steel. That's a stele.

That's a smartan tiger? I believe, yeah, yes. White tigars are Samantan tigars that have a... Not albinism, but something else, right? Someone who knows about it, and we'll say yes. Lucistic, Bengal or Siberian. That's when you've got Lucy disease. Yeah, that's extremely white. It's when you're extremely white.

I saw, because I've got a lucistic cuckaburrow that lives in the neighborhood. Oh, did you snap a little picky, I believe? Yeah, I got a little picky of a lucistic cucarboro. Yeah, went Lucy. We're Lucy. Now, I did I did I did I did I did I did I did a th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi I did I did I did I did a little thi, I did a little thi, I did a little thi, I did a little tha thozy thozy, I thi, I did a little thozy, I thozy, thozy, thozy, thozy, thozy, thozy, thozy, thozy, thozy, thozy, a little bit more research on this. I actually did some journalism, would you believe it? I sent it email to the Ugandan Wildlife Authority

and I said, hey, do you actually have a relationship with this organization? And they didn't email me back. So I guess we'll never know. That's not. Speaking volumes. That's all journalism is though you kind of say you know the Ugandan wild- Refuse to comment. Refuse to comment in time-to- I should have said that. Publication, etc.

I did also attempt to contact wild animal pets. So on Tuesday at 1.50 p.m. I sent them a message that read, Hello my friend, dot, dot, dot, dot. I would like to purchase full-stop gorilla. I did not receive a response to that either, which is a shame. Because my money is as good as anyone else's. They've got a chat function on the website. Yeah, but they don't respond. And it also, if you try and send contact them through that, it redirects to

their contact form. It's very annoying. So I searched. They've got who is protection on there. They do, but I mean, they have, they've given themselves an address. I believe it's three Dundas Road, I can't remember the name of the city, but somewhere in Uganda. And if you go to Google Maps, there is a store given like a marker on Google Maps but there isn't physically a building there. Yeah which is a bit of a shame. I noticed that so some of this text is written in kind of broken English and some of it is not so I thought I would copy some of the not broken English text to see if it appeared anywhere else.

And it did. Their policy statement is also used on a different website called Exotic Pets Place.com. Now while this website we were looking at was a sort of very badly formatted, awful-looking WordPress blog, Exotic Petsplace.com is a bit, it's a flashier sort of single-page application, looks a bit more modern, and it seems to be an organization that variously claims to be a pet store in Texas, in New Jersey, and Las Vegas. Let me, let me read to you how they describe themselves. I think I've used that bootstrap template before. Yeah, they've taken a common, common web template their their their their their their their their. their. their. We their. We their. We. We. We. We. We. We're. We're. We're. We're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the read to you how they describe themselves. I think I've used that bootstrap template before.

Yeah, they've definitely taken a common web template there. We are the only exotic pet store Las Vegas. Once you received your pet, you won't be left alone. That exotic make sure that you are not facing any problem related to pet or their care. We have assigned this task to our special representatives. The only duty assigned to them is to get in touch with the customer and ask if they are facing any problem. Now on top of claiming the several locations they claim to have in America, including a fourth one, this time in Illinois, they claim to have one in Kenya, they claim to have one in India,

and they also claim to have one in Australia. Interestingly enough, it is in Queensland. Now Theo, I don't know if you've been here before or not, but are you familiar with the town of Birdsville? Vagely, so let me just see whether I've never been, no, I haven't been there, but it is close to the town of Batuta. It is, yes. So Birdsville is about an 18-hour drive west from Brisbane and it has a population of about 150 and that's like a seasonal max during like that the high point in the tourism season. It is an extraordinarily tiny place so well done to them for making that exotic animal importing business work out there.

Here are some of the claims they make about the services they offer, which honestly I have to say just in advance, you know if I put all my doubts aside and I step out of this cynical mindset, they sound quite good to me. Our exotic animals are super cute and active. In their presence, you will forget everything. We have large variety of exotic dogs for sale. They are all super cute and loving. You will definitely make good memories with them. We also have cubs for sale.

They can become your best friend. You will spend a good leisure time with them. Full healthy pet will be delivered at your home. You can hug them and become the owner of exotic pet. We have good news for you. The research has shown that the pets are great stress reliever. If you are suffering from stress or depression, buy exotic mammals for sale from us now and get rid of these diseases.

This is nice. This is appealing to emotions, you know. I'm feeling inspired, I'm having feelings about this. Oh, as a professional copywriter, you're fighting their techniques solid. As a professional depression have, I'm excited about the opportunities here. I am keen to experience ataraxia as a symptom of getting a pet. Don't think more, as keeping pet is not a burden, spending time with them will make you feel relax and you will forget about your worries.

They can also help you to overcome your loneliness. It's got real get-to-tighten energy here. Yeah, don't think more. Don't worry about it. Don't thin the It's got real get-to-tighten energy here. Yeah, don't think more. Don't think anymore. All your bad feelings will go away. You won't feel anything anymore. You won't think anything.

No thoughts. No vision, no sound. Yeah, I've gone off the Titan thing now. I'm all about transmuting your flesh and bones into train. Now, these guys offer a different set of animals. When I say these guys, I mean, this is obviously the same people, but this website offers a different set of animals. I'm going to read the list to you in an arbitrary order that I have chosen. We have a lynx, we have a leopard, we have a phenic fox, we have a cheetah, we have a tiger, we have a tiger, pretty boring, yeah we have a lion,

we have a giraffe, we have a giraffe, oh I'm gonna have a lot of trouble getting that in the house, but okay. Yeah, now that's a tall order. We have a Komodo dragon. Too big. Now that's a long order. Was that funny? Did you like that? And lastly, on this list, we have a panda. I feel like they're hard to get. I feel like it's very hard to get. Yeah, that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tha thi thi thi thi tooooooooooooooo' toa toa toa toa toa toa toa tol. that's too that's that's that's that have a panda. I feel like they're hard to get. I feel like it's very hard to get, yeah, it's not a panda.

Now I only have one more thing to tell you about this website. And that is that because this is a very modern single page application, they've sort of just copied templates from another website from, they felt obliged to fill in some parts of the website that don't really make sense. They've got a little infographic here. It has a picture of a deer, a picture of some trees, a picture of some concentric circles, and then a picture of a dollar sign inside some concentric circle, and I'm going to give you the text for each. So the first one, 10,000 plus animals saved. Unclear what from? Yeah.

Like, and then sold to people? That's right. Saved from the wild and then sold to a guy in Texas. Uh, 2,300 plus hectare's forest land. So this is spelled H-E-C-T-O-R-S as in the name Hector. A hundred thousand plus members worldwide. Unclear what their members in. And lastly...

They're all members in the I put down 300 dollars on my serval club. Yeah. 200 million plus dollars sold. Okay, so. Now that is a burgeoning business. So it's going okay for them is what I'm hearing here. Yeah. Now, before we rate this scam.

I think we need to come to a consensus on what the scam is. My personal belief is that the scam is putting together a poorly made website in which you list a series of animals that are for sale and the condition of purchasing any of them is to send us $300 without asking any questions. Yes. Sounds like the... Yep. So one, give us $300 scam. Like you get one taker on that like Silverback gorilla.

Like you're done. You are. You are. Cash out. Yeah. Well, I guess yeah, like you, you... Like what I've taken away from this is that you have to give them $300 to make an inquiry about an animal basically, right? Yeah.

You contact them and you say, I'd like to buy an animal and they say, just slap down your $300. So that's a free $300 right there. If they can string you along to the point of saying, I have sold my Mazda 6, and I would would have th, I have th, I have th, I have that, I have that, I have that, I have that, I have that, I have that, I have that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like and I would like to purchase that gorilla. Why don't have a car to put it in, but that's a problem for later. I mean I don't know if you get a gorilla in a Mazda 6. Although I guess if you've got the little sports wagon that it came in, oh no, that was the Mazda 3, yeah, no, sorry. Put the back seats down, you know, the thanks, thanks, than, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the the that, that, the the back, the back, the back, the back, the back, the back, the back, the back, that, the that, that, that, that, th. th, th, th, th, the th, their, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, the the the the the th. I, th. I, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, their, their, their, their, their, their, that, they.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. tha, tha. tha, their, tha, th I think you want like a like an SUV, you know how you can put the cage in the back between the like cargo area? Yeah. You know what I take it back? There is a Master Six Wagon and it's quite roomy. I reckon you could probably get a gorilla

right there. I mean if they could email Mazda to get the... If they could get the Sasquatch named Harry from Harry in the Henderson's into a family station wagon. Yeah. I think that they could, you know, get a silverback gorilla in there too. Anyway, so you say I want to buy this one and you shoot them over $12,000 minus your $300 deposit, I assume. Although probably not, if they can, if they have their their their their their their their their their they have their their they have their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their theirthey can if they have their way. And then you never hear anything again. Yeah. Yeah. Where's my monkey? Where's Jeffie? Now I did a little bit more journalism on this one. I googled the URL of the website and the word scam.

And you know how there are those websites that tell you whether something is a scam or not? I got one of those from, I don't know, TrustGard or some shit. There's only one there, right? It's from three years ago. It's a one star review, sorry, source from ScamGuard from A. Davison 17, and hopefully this will clear things up a little bit I guess. Scam animal sales. They are charging ridiculous prices for domestic animals that could be easily purchased for less than $100 and they are charging as much as $850. Their issue is that the prices are too high? Yeah, they like this bulldog.they are selling American skunks for $850,

which normally cost less than $100. I don't- That's so good being like, this is a scam because the skunks cost too much. The skugs are too expensive. That I could get for $100 at my local pet store. I mean, I can't believe this guy, A. Davison 17, thinks that a, as far as I can tell, Uganda does not have native skunks, is going to compete for prices with the United States, which does have native skunks. They haven't just shipped those skunks over to them in the first place. And they have to, they have to bear the cost. Because I don't thi they have their their their their they have their their their they have their their they have their their their thi to bear thi to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear to bear their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to their the. the. their to their their to their to their their to their to to to to to to to to to to to to be. the price. That seems to be. Yeah. But, um, all right, so I think we understand that the scam is that they don't sell it,

will send you anything. They just take your money. So for inventiveness, not... I think it's low. Oh, well, yeah, it's low. They put in a lot of work to kind of, they built law up around this. Yeah. They've put a lot of detail onto there. They've done a lot of listings for different animals that you might want. They've put a lot of work into the SEO, like everything on there is basically for SEO. So that's, they've done that. Yeah. Balziness. Not that's, they've done that. Yeah. Balziness? Not that... I think it's just a website.

Yeah, they're not really putting anything on the line here. But I do think victiminess, anyone who thinks that they can buy a guerrilla online is willing to spend $12,000 on it can go fuck themselves. Yeah. So I think that's probably... You deserve to be scant for sure. Same if you're ordering, if you want to buy a bulldog as well. Yeah.

Yeah. And you think that a bulldog is a pug. Yeah, that's you. If that's as much research as you're willing to do into the issue. I think in terms of our scam cube, they're low on the first two axes, but they're very far on the third axis. So just plot that in your mind if you can. And if you have A Fantasia, I'm so sorry. Yeah, our scam rubric or skewbrick if you will.

It's more of a cubric. It's also a nickname for, yeah, just a scamly cubrick. Scamley cubrick. We got there. We did it. We did it everyone. We did it. We did it. We did it. You want to workshop your jokes live as well. That's improv, baby. People love it. So we're putting an order in? Is that what I'm taking away from this? Oh yeah, yeah, I think I would like to try for a gorilla. And I mean I have not replied to me and it's been two days which means they're not really paying attention to their scam I don't think. Having some people are busy.

You're busy with the orders you know. I'm playing hard to get. I'm just imagining having some people over for dinner and holding holding your partner's hand as you say we've been trying for a gorilla for a gorilla for six. We've spent so much money. Hopefully this detailed scam, what you've just done, has helped you avoid being scammed by these people, which is something that we try and do here, we try and do these sorts of public service announcements. Yeah, you know, we try and try and do these sorts of public service announcements. Yeah, you know, we try and let the people know. And that's something we like to do in our everybody's favorite segment, the PSA segment watch. Good choice Andrew. This comes to us from WVIT News in

Connecticut. Ah, with it. That's right. With it or leave it. That's what I'm always saying. Skyline Chili products were called due to misbranding undeclared allergens. So everyone is of course familiar with chili of the show, Skyline Chili. Please Duck Duck Go images it if you are not already intensely familiar with what it looks like. Official chili of the show. Theo, we have spoken about Skyline chili. What's Skyline chili?

So it's Skyline chili makes the most popular canned version of Cincinnati Chili. Gotcha. Yep, no, I have no memory. I'm always saying, oh, this chili, ugh, it's almost completely free of cinnamon. You know, yeah. Yeah, and raw onion as well. Yeah, I'm fine with a raw onion, but you've got to have a little bit in there. I'm gonna give it a go. I'm gonna check some some some some some some some some some some some some some some c c c c c c c c c c cinnamon c cinnamon c cinnamon c cinnamon c cinnamon c c can cinnamon can cinnamon can cinnamon can cinnamon can cinnamon can cinnamon can cinnamon can cinnamon can cinnamon can cinnamon can cinnamon ca ca ca ca ca ca s ca s ca. the ca. the ca. the ca. the ca. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thin c. I'm s s s s sa c. I'm the c. I'm thin c. I'm s s s s sa ca ca ca. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thinin' tapin'a. tapin'a. tape ca. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. tapiia. tapia-ca-ca. tapea got to have a little bit in there. I'm going to give it a go. I'm going to check some cinnamon in the next one.

Morgan Foods is recalling thousands of pounds of skyline chili due to misbranding and undeclared allergens, according to the US Department of Aliculture. That's such a fucked5 pounds of chili. Well, approximately, you're getting within 500 grams. Can't be too careful. That's a ton of chili. That's literally a ton of chili. That's one ton of chili. That is one ton of chili. Did they start from metric and work themselves work their way back? Is that what's happened here? It's not exactly.

Okay. I think chili should be in fluid ounces. Yeah. One ton is exactly. Oh, sorry, no. One metric ton in pounds is, holy founs. It is. Oh. That is oddly specific. It's 2,204.62 pounds.

Oh. That is oddly specific. Why didn't they just say a ton of chili? Well, it's not an imperial ton. An imperial ton is exactly 2,000 pounds. This is exactly a metric ton, which is odd because it's an American product that's made in America. That's so strange. Did someone... It's weird that they screwed up exactly one

ton of chili. Maybe someone said, oh I fucked up a ton of chili and they thought, oh you mean a metric ton? Yeah. It was right in the tun. Yeah. One ton. I'm going to Google that. Chili may contain milk, wheat and soy, which are known allergens and are not listed on the product label. The USDA said the cans labeled as chili may actually contain cream of chicken soup and were produced on December 21st, 2021. That's a fucked up way to make chili. I'm very sorry. Like this may contain milk allergens. It's a different thing inside soup. It's got chicken soup. It's not chili at all. It's going to give you every kind of diarrhea just if you were expecting if you were expecting delicious skyline chili and you crack open that can

and it is cream of chicken soup I feel like you're almost immediately gonna know something's up. Yeah, well this looks weird. Well anyway, the product being recalled is Skyline Chili original Chili in 10.5 ounce cans with a lot code of L2121, a product code of CHC 8T UPY on the bottom of the can and a best by date of December 21st 2023. The cans are packing trades. I'm on the CHCATUPY diet. How does that manifest? Best not to think about it. Okay. According to the USDA, the problem was discovered by consumers who reported to the company that cans labeled as chili actually contained cream of chicken soup. So where did the chili go? Yeah, where's the chili? What's the chili? I don't. I don't think it's they they they they th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th think it's think it's think it's think it's th th think it's th th think it's th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the c. I the c. I the c. I the cha. I the the the the the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I'm ta. I'm tape. I'm th. I'm the th. I'm the the the the the the the c Yeah where's the chili? I don't think it's like a swapsy. I think they just had the wrong label in the labeling machine. No, no, this is definitely a zero-sum game.

It's like a, um... Have they checked the, uh, the can, in what way is it a parent trap situation? Well, because imagine that the Skyline Chili is the rich one with the fancy lifestyle and the cream of chicken soup is the country one. Yeah. And they've decided to swap so that it can each experience each other the lives and also meet their other parent. So what happens in the parent trap? Yeah. At least in the modern modern the modern the modern the modern the modern the modern the modern the modern the modern the the parent the parent the parent the parent the parent the parent the parent parent parent parent parent the parent the parent parent parent the parent parent the parent the parent the parent the parent their parent their parent their parent their their their their their their their trap. Crap. Crap. C. C. C. C. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their their. their their their their their their their tra. tra. tra.a. tra.a.a. tra.a.a.a.a.a. tra.a. tra.a. tra. trap.a. trap. trap. their. their other parent. So what happened to the parent trap? Yeah. At least in the modern remake of the parent trap, yes. So the chicken, the skyline chili's gone to a rich person's house. Yes, and the cream of chicken soup has gone to the country?

They've opened their can of chicken soup and been like, oh, what's this? Well I guess I'll thu what's th th th th th th th th th th th th thus thus thus thus thus thus the thus their their thus, thus, that their their that their their their their their their their thi the chicken their chicken, their chicken their chicken their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thethe end of the parent trap where they find out that it's the other one I guess. Yeah. I really didn't think I was going to get grilled this much about saying that it's like the parent trap. It's kind of like a freaky Friday situation. I was a my kids were watching Freaky Friday the other day the Lindsay Lohan. the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th other day the Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis one and Isn't Lindsay Lohan also in the parent trap? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And yeah it got up to the point where the titular... Oh, the titular Freaky Friday is taking close? That's true, yes. Yeah. And yeah, it got up to the point where the title of Freaky Friday... No, the titular Freaky Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday is is the film F F F F F F the film F the film F th. That's F the film F th., the titular Freaky Friday is taking close. That's quite early on in the film. The parent swap is happening.

And I hadn't seen it before I think, and it gets up to that point and they're having dinner in a Chinese restaurant. Yeah. And then like, yeah, and then a like a 60 year old Chinese lady sees them arguing and goes, oh, and her mom's like, don't do it. Her daughter who works, it's like, don't do it, mom, stay out of it. She's like, time for some Chinese magic. And she just does Chinese magic on them. This is the old one, yeah? Like, this is the new one. It's like for the fucking 2000s. Oh my.

Andrew, it's exactly like the video for a freaky Friday by Little Dickey. It's, it absolutely is. Were you like, oh, they're taking off the Little Dickey video. Yeah, that was it. Getting a lot of little Dicky vibes from this It's uh, but yeah, they do, they do like, basically non-specified Chinese magic, which is delivered in the form of a fortune cookie. That's right folks, we're canceling the Freaky Friday remake. Hey, while we've got a big cancel stamp out, can I also cancel these fucking saccadas outside

my wonder if they're making them through the mix? I can hear those bad boys. Yeah, I can't. I can hear those things that I won't say out loud because I'm from Victoria. Yeah, we're gonna boil you from the sicketers. I can hear them chicadas. Chichadas. South of these products may be in

consumers pantries. Anyone who purchased the products are urged not to eat them. The product should be thrown away. But like surely if you're just told, hey, that's cream of chicken soup, you can make your own choice about whether you want to have cream of chicken soup. If you're the kind of guy that wants some cream of chicken soup, then fill your boots. With the cream of chicken soup. If you don't like to be surprised, don't take any chances, throw out all the cans in your house immediately.

Yeah, bury them in the forest. I'd love a mystery can. They should sell mystery cans. Yeah, are you vegan? Why the fuck would you want mystery cans? Well, you know, it might be a bit of fun. Well, like you do it. Mystery can, brackets, vegan.

Yeah. Just to be safe. Hi everybody, it's me. It's Theo. Now I guarantee you I'm more afraid of recording this promo than you are of listening to it, so hear me out. If you haven't already, maybe to, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the to, the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, maybe check out our Patreon. It's a great way to support the show and it gives us the ability to actually dedicate time to this thing.

You'll get all of our bonus episodes, it's over 300 extra episodes in total, and we'll set up a feed over there with none of these promos so you won't have to hear this ever again. You'll also get access to our Discord, which honestly is turned into a nice and nice and nice and nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice and nice and nice and nice and nice and nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice to a nice nice to a nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice to a nice nice nice to a nice to a nice to to to th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. to mostly normal people to hang out with. So that's Patreon.com slash Bunter Vista. Check it out. Now I reckon we got one more story in us here before it's time to go. This is a nice and short one. And this is the segment where we talk about sometimes when there's one thing that you didn't want to happen. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen.

Sometimes I don't know it's happening until too late. This is from Rooters, or as it's pronounced in Germany, Reuters. Cross-Count skiing Finn Remy suffers frozen penis in mass start race. Oh no. Hate it when that happens. Al Remy. Remy. Remy. The men's 50-kilometer. Is that like when Australians are like R. Delta? Al-Kailey. Yep. Yeah. Al-Remy. The men's 50-kilometer mass-start race at the Beijing games was shorten-Kiley. Our Kaffi, yep. Our Remy. The men's 50-kilometer mass start race at the Beijing Games was shortened to 30 kilometers, but that did little to help Finland's Remy Lindham, who needed a heat pack at the end of the race to thaw out a particularly sensitive body part.

Lindham spent just under an hour and 16 minutes traversing the course in howling freezing winds, leading to his penis becoming frozen for the second time at a cross-country skiing race, following a similar incident in Rooker, Finland last year. I'm buried the lead there. Getting to the end of the race, I've got a rock-hard cock. Well, please give you the nice attention. Not again, come on. You can get, sorry, quote, you can guess which body part was a little bit frozen when I finished the men's Olympic 50km race.

It was one of the worst competitions I bidded. It was just about battling through, he told Finnish media. Jesus Christ. With organizers worried about frostbite during Saturday's race, it was delayed by an hour and shortened by 20 kilometers. The thin suits and underlayers worn by races, as well as plasters to cover their faces and ears offered little protection. Lindham explained that he used a heat pack to try and thaw out his appendage once the race was over. Quote, when the body part started to warm up after the finish, the pain was unbearable. This is, it's not even going to like explain why this happened.

Like why is your penis frozen? No, that's the whole story. This man's dick-froze. Was you dick out? Was he dick out? Did he like, did he have his dick out, the race? They're wearing very thin body suits. Like, they're not afford to thi. They're not if this is happening two times, should he like start wearing underpants?

I'm blaming this guy. But no one else's dick froze. Yeah, it seems to be a Remy thing. Maybe he just has like, really big. Oh maybe. Like more surface area to catch the cold. Who was the, who was the sprinter and everyone got? Yeah.

. Because the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thinks is thus is thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. thinks. th. thinks. thinks is is is. to to is. It is. It is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's seems. It's seems. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. dick. Yeah, he's, because we've got the skin suit and you could see his cock. That is really descriptive though, isn't it? Like when you come in and it's really freezing and your hands are like frozen and it's really warm in your house and then it like kind of hurts. Yeah, imagine that. Imagine that's your cock. Imagine that's happening to your enormous Finnish penis. Oh my big Finnish don't. I'm not making any judgments about whether or not this listener has a penis, let alone what size it is, but we got a message today from a listener in Finland. Probably not going to read you the contents of the message.

Oh, come on. But I think it's about a different story entirely. It's just that I looked up their name because I was like, well, what an interesting name. I wonder where they're from. It says they're from Finland. Oh, and they sent us through a story about a large bear called Hank the Tank breaking into a house. Yes, we all seen Hank the Tank. Do we want to, do we want to quickly take a position on that from a podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, the podcast, from a podcast, from a podcast, from a podcast, from a podcast, from a podcast, from a podcast, from a podcast, from a podcast, from a podcast, tho, tho, tho, too, too, too, too, thi, too, tho, tho, too, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, togeea, togea, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toguuuui, thi, thi, thi, thi, the Tank. Do we want to do we want to quickly take a position on that from a podcast point of view?

Because the story with this is that there is an absolutely gigantic big fat bear And it's his right to be that way. Yeah, I think we can all agree. Oh, and he keeps like coming down out of the woods and just Rifling around through people's houses looking for food and just absolutely reckon up the joint while he does it. Yeah. Innocent of all charges. And so they're like, yeah, we're going to kill the bear because he keeps damaging people's property and everyone's like, hey, he's just a bear doing his thing.

And they're like, yeah. But we've like shooed him away a bunch of times and it's not taking so now we have to euthanize the bear for liking food. I think if you don't like Hank the tank get the fuck out of California. Get out of his get out of his zone. That's his. This is like this is like this week when was, uh, when like somebody got a chunk taken out of them by a shark? Yeah. And we got, we had a resurrection of the standard Australian debate. I should all be killed. Yeah, whether the news is like, how come we don't have snipers in helicopters over all

of our popular beaches shooting every shark they can see? And why isn't one of those snipers me? Give me a very big gun, please. And so, so like, a friend of the show, I'm trying to remember a name, I'm very sorry. Give me one second and I can find this out. Hold on. What'd she say? Uh, friend of the show and, and local... Give me one second and I can find this out. I can find this out. Hold on. What she said. Uh, friend of the show and, and local Greens Councillor Kim Chapel, the deputy mayor

of the Randwick City Council, like, said something on Twitter or wherever, like describing it as a shark bite. And either the Herald sign on the Daily Telegraph or whatever, like describing it as a shark bite. And either the Herald-Sign or the Daily Telegraph or whatever was like, loopy-greens is trying to try to political correctness sharks viciously attacking people on purpose. No, because this shark punched the person to death. Yeah, yeah, the shark pulled out a switchblade. Like, and I am personally of the opinion when it comes to shark attacks, that like, you are in their lunch zone. You went down to the cafeteria and started swimming around.

Don't come crying to me when you cop a little bite. You got into the sloppy Joe mince in their cafeteria. You did. You rolled around and got all slicked up. Look, I think it's obviously it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's tragic it's th. It's thagic it's thagic. It's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to think it's obviously, it's tragic for someone to die from being eaten by a shark. That's absolutely horrific. Do I want to get bitten by a shark? No. Yeah, I don't think going in there and just being like, well if we kill every shark,

that's that problem done. Like that's not of them are. That's the thing. And they put, like, have you seen the things where they put tracking tags on them? They go, oh, we'll catch this guy when he comes back. And then the shark just swims off to the other side of the planet. They're like, oh, he has much like the Nazis after World War II, but the stuff that I've read about it says that like when they try to track like sharks and say, oh you know, we'll predict seasonally when they're coming and going and all that sort of stuff, they're like, no sharks just do their thing. Yeah, yeah, that's Bite Hitler. So my opinion, my opinion on both Hank the Tank and

Great White sharks in our Australian oceans is if you don't like it, if you can't stay in the heat, stay out of the kitchen, you know? Yeah, shark kitchen. Or California. It is the new California Republic and he is the bear on the flag. That's right. We've got to make that flag bigger. That's okay. Yeah, I guess so.

You're a 50% bigger flag, I think. Oh boy. Well, that's probably the end of the podcast, question mark. I think that's an episode of the podcast. I think that's going to be yeah. Buntavista. Head on over to Buntavista. Govista? to visit.

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are a resident of the United States you can call us on 732876 what I'd really like you to do this week if you can and you're so inclined and you're in the relevant countries want you to call into the hotline and describe for me your dream sandwich. Huh. The most perfect sandwich you can imagine. Cost, anything else, not an issue. I mean, picture if you've had it. Well, I mean, yeah, I mean if you have. If you've managed to realize dreaming of the ultimate sandwich and then eating the ultimate sandwich, holy fuck, I would love to hear about that especially. That's literally a dream come true. That is right.

Beautiful, we love to see it and hear about it. Thanks everybody, and we'll see the next time. Bye. Bye.