Boonta Vista - EPISODE 240: Top 10 Places That Would Kill The Pope If He Received A High-Calibre Bullet Wound There

Episode Date: March 10, 2022

Andrew, Theo, and Ben bring you: An update on the mysterious Subway graffiti artist, National Feet Week, a hole for horses, an accidental pilot, pocket full of lizards, and a particularly british sanction. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Punta Vista, episode 240. My name is Ben and I am here in Vatican City. On the roof of the Pontifical Urban University staring to the sites are of a Heckler and Coke 417 A2, it is aimed directly across State Peter Square, the window in the papal apartments from which the Pope is delivering the Angelus. Also with me is the Pope. It's Andrew. Hey Andrew.

Uh, Dominus. Dominus. Choms. Christ the life. Does he sing it? That's what, well, he's always singing that guy. That's one of the things they've got to do in their their audition their audition their audition their audition their audition their audition their audition their audition their their their their their. They're going to do in their audition. We need you to dance and see. Well when I went in for my Pope audition, one of them was standing there with the red

stuff to throw on the fire expectantly. Now that's kind of there, like, you know in like the voice when they hit the button and they turned the chair around. Yeah. So for us, for us at Pope Academy, when they put the stuff on that makes it turn red, that's kind of the voice. Yeah, when the judges start climbing up on their crosses, going like, holy shit. All of the cardinals in the College of Cardinals going absolutely buck wild because you are an ugly Pope but you have the voice of an angel. Yeah. So when I went in, they said, so what do, what do you, what, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, what, what, uh, what, what, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the the the the thy, the, thi, the, thi, the, thi, thi, the, their the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff of Cardinals going absolutely buck wild because you are an ugly Pope but you have the voice of an angel. Yeah so when I went in they said so what are you what are you into and I said I love music and they were like damn that's relatable. My dad are very dead but I want to be the purple one day.

They said that's relatable and the guy took one step closer to the to the fireplace. Yeah yeah like uh do you want to uh all right so you're gonna you gonna swing that big ball full of smoke around but yeah I'm gonna swing the old smoke ball there mate what was the last time we had an Italian Pope what's the current what's the nationality of the current place? He's German isn't he? No that I'm googling I I I I I I I I I I I I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th th th th th th tho- I tho. tho. I tho. I tho. I th. I'm th. th. I tho. I th. I th. I th. I th. th th th th th th th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the the the the the the the thee theeeeeeeee thooooooooooooo the the the the the the the, what's the nationality of the current pope? He's German, isn't he? No, that can't be true. I'm googling, I thought they had to be Italian, or at least Vatican. It's not mandatory to be Italian to be the Pope.

But it helps. Because he had Rat Singer, right? Is he still alive? That's a villain name. Who is the Pope now? now I'm calling it. Current Pope 2022. I did Google current Pope and we've got Pope Francis. Where's he from? On 1976, Buenos Aires, Argentina. So maybe Hitler's clone? Yeah, maybe Hitler's clone. That's right. Yep. Like preemptively, you know, that was sorting that stuff out ahead of time, that's all I'm saying. He wants to get at the head of that Vatican Army. It's the thee. Also with me is a 7.62 by 51mm round that is speeding from the end of my rifle towards the Pope, it's Theo. Hey, there. It's a living. I'm looking towards Theo right now, squinting. S squinting. S squinting. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. there. It's a living. I'm looking, I'm looking towards Theo right now, squinting, hand up over my eyes. Who is that? Hey.

You guys see this? What's going on in? Whereas I've got a real case of face blindness, so I have no idea. Who I'm zooming towards. Who I'm working with today? Was the Pope. Was that the Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope Pope th Pope th Pope th Pope th Pope th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho thoom pop- thoom- thoom- thoom- thoom- thi thoom- thoom- thoom- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho-I tho- tho- tho- tho- tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. th. them. Just like after you have exodus. Who I'm working with today? Was that the Pope? Holy fuck I think that was the Pope? Was that the Pope back there? Kind of a bit, a bit, a bit star struck. Well, he was certainly struck by something. He was a bit you struck. Yeah. The things I had to Google for this intro in sequence for the first time I've had the Am I on a watch list

now. I was just like buildings from which you can see the papal apartments. Sniper rifle caliber. Well, actually, I went down a bit of a... Most effective, Pope. I went down a wormhole of what the distinction the US military makes between the designated marksman rifle and the sniper rifle. Oh. Learned a little bit there that I've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I have the sniper rifle. Oh.

Learned a little bit there that I've already completely forgotten. Did you Google a most murderable Pope? Easiest way to kill Pope. Cheapest Flights to Vatican City. Top top ten Pope killing methods. What medals is the pope weakest to? Be cool if the pope had like glowing red over his critical hit areas, you know? Yeah, I think the head of the Pope would probably be one of his critical hit areas.

I think, I think that would be one of the top ten places to shoot the Pope with a gun if you wanted to hurt him. Let's list of him. Top ten places that would kill the Pope if he received a high caliber bullet-aaaa-a-oom-oom-oom-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o. the the the the Pope, the Pope, the Pope, the Pope, the Pope, the Pope, the Pope, the Pope, the Pope, the Pope, the Pope, the Pope, the Pope, the Pope, the Pope, the Pope, the Pope, tho-s. tho-s. tho-s. tho-s. tho-s. tho-s. thoaa-co-s. thooooo-s. theaseasease. thooooooo-s. the kill the Pope if he received a high caliber bullet wound there. Okay, hold on, I am going to say I think that I think that we should do like the David Letterman top 10 thing of going from 10 up, right? So we start with the places. Yeah, we don't start with the head up. So, uh, number 10. Oh, what the fuck? The right foot of their head off. So number 10. What the fuck? The right foot of the Pope. You reckon you blast that bad boy off? He's a goner? Well, like, I think they're probably going to attend to him pretty quickly. So, ideally there's a big fuss. People are struggling to figure out what's going on.

Maybe everybody's looking around to see what happened and the Pope has fallen down behind like a table or something and they don't figure out immediately. Yeah, he's clipped through the floor. Oh, the Pope must have ducked out for a minute in amongst all of the noise and everything. And he's bleeding out. Now is this a tide for 10th situation, or are you implying that the right foot is more or less likely to kill him than he's left foot? I'm saying it's one of 10 places you could shoot the Pope if you were trying to kill him.

This is an ordered list of places most likely. Yeah, I think you've presented a very strong understanding of the David Letterman 10 to 1 list and then immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. the th. the the th. th. they. they. th. they. th. th. th. they, th. th. th is th. th is the, the, thi, thi, thi, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the the the the th. the, the is theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat, the. th. th. man 10 to 1 list and then immediately reneged on it. Well, you guys are talking a lot for people who haven't heard the rest of the list, okay? Number 8. The left foot of the Pope. Okay, you just went from number 10 to number 8. This, my understanding of this list has been poorly represented. Can we just pee behind the curtain for just a moment? We'll play that peek and behind.

Put those bad boys open. Yeah, three out of four of the podcast this week are moderately to severely ill. Yes. Yeah, I don't feel good. To be fair. To be fair. Not COVID. Not having on the test, but it's not COVID. No, I don't have COVID either, but I do have one of those daycare illnesses. Yeah, I didn't go to daycare. My kids aren't in daycare. Well, what's fucked up for me is that my kids aren't in daycare, they're very old.

And also I didn't get sick from there. Did you take them to the beach recently? Like in a movie, Old. Good, this is a good movie. It's the beach that makes you old. I enjoyed that movie. I'm not going to watch that movie. Anyway, the thing that ails me is unfortunately an embarrassing thing that is the type of illness you would get from a kid.

I just didn't get it from a kid and that makes it worse. Mm-hmm. What do you pack in there? You got, what kind of kids do you get? What kind of illnesses you get? What character classes are your children? Yeah. We got a new kind of mumps that I'd never heard of.

I didn't get it, but Finn got it. Roe, Rozeola. Rosiola. Yeah, we got Roziola. Yeah, we got rosyola. Whozeola. Well, I'd never heard of Japanese encephalitis that's now getting around Queensland and a couple other states.

That was a new one for me. Yeah. I was just used to regular encephalitis. Okay, taking it back a step to number nine. Oh, fucking Jesus. The Pope's penis. Shooting the Pope squarely in the penis. Now for some reason, this is lower on the list than the left foot.

But left foot higher than both the penis and the right foot. Now the reason, let me explain, the Pope is left-footed. That's his dominant foot. That's when he does a bicycle kick and scores a surprise goal in his weekly rec league soccer games, he's always using that. He loves football. He's always using left, left foot all the way. Whereas I think penis for a pope is sort of an auxiliary organ. Yep. Sort of vestigial I guess. Tits on a ball, penis on a pipe. Yeah. Watch the, uh, the movie, She's the Man, with my kids,

which is, of course, an adaptation of the 12-night. Hit that 15-second button. Andrew loves to watch a million movies, but nobody else really gives a fuck. He's got 15 seconds to describe the movie, otherwise he's just shit out of luck. Five, four, three, two, one. Let's go. Amanda Bines plays a teen girl whose brother runs away instead of going to his elite private

boarding school, but she goes and takes his place as a soccer player and falls in love with Channing Tatum. Oh my gosh! Yep, time to spare? I guess. Fogge te thieves even better than I remembered that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I th I guess. Fuck, that team's even better than I remembered. It goes so hard. We've really whipped that out once.

So anyway, she gets like some help from Channing Tatum to learn soccer. And the first thing that he teaches her is a bicycle kick? Yeah, you're going to want that a lot, I think. Yeah, this is the main thing you'll be doing in the game of soccer. It's the hardest to master, so you want to start earliest. Yeah, that's so true. Very American. Yeah, it's like when they used to teach kids grammar,

because they thought like Latin grammar was the most difficult thing, and so would exercise the most. Yeah, stretch out the corners of the brain. Yep. Leave some space for everything else. I don't think we need to go through the rest of the list. I'm just, I don't know, show of hands. It's an... Yeah, okay. I can't see anybody's hands due to it being an audio medium. Number seven. Oh, fuck. Yeah, it's seven. Uh, the stomach. We're gonna gut shot the pope everybody. All right, let's not do the rest of them. Um, anyway, yeah, I think, look, hold on, one, just one thing. Yeah. And number one. Number one on the list. It's probably his brain. The cranium, yeah.

Yeah, the Pope's brain. There's his biggest weak point. It's flashing bright red, you know? Actually, probably his biggest weak point is temptation. Hmm. That's why I reckon you want a Pope that's done a lot of fucking in like his 20s or 30s. Like he's fucked out. Yeah, he's all fucked out. The Pope is really, so did his wild oats, you know? Yeah.

I don't, yeah, I guess that's true. You want a Pope who, he's written one of those anonymous editorials for a magazine who talks about all of the casual sex that he has but really doesn't feel anything about, you know? And then you come along and you say, hey, would you like a little meaning in your life? How would you like to be 2023's Pope? Yeah. Current Pope. Yeah, the leader of the Holy See? I'm on the...

Yeah. I'm on the... Yeah. . If you want to be the guy who comes up when we Google current Pope Yeah, come on down. You know Hey folks if uh if you have any ideas about where would be the most effective place to shoot the Pope in order to kill him. You can contact this podcast and let us know and of course you would submit something to the

Punta Vista hotline with some information about how to do submit something to the Pontivista hotline. With some information about how to do that, here is the song. 1,8003175-155, that's the Boltevista hotline. 1,803175, that's the Boltonvista hotline. You can send us an email. Mail bag at Bultivista.com. Maybe DM us on Twitter. You could even message Facebook.

But we don't really check the Facebook. Yeah. So this is a little update to a story that we did briefly on our live episode to serve five. That's the boulter vis to a story that we did briefly on our live episode to serve egg where we spoke about a subway, subway sandwich shop in Oakland, California where someone was continuously spraying graffiti on there and then the owner was wiping it off. And I basically only included it because someone having some sort of grudge match with someone else is very funny to me all the time. But also because the graffiti that was on there just said, fuck yo Turkey sub, which

is insanely funny to me. After we did that, we got an email from a listener. Tim who said that he lived across the street from that very subway, which was absolutely fucking wild. And then he sent us some photos of the of the graffiti I think just Turkey had been wiped off so it just said no sorry fuck had been wiped off so just said you know turkey sub which is quite funny I'd buy a funny funny funny funny funny a funny way to hail someone

Yo turkey sub and well met he sent us another update let me to the tel to the tel to the truth. Yo, Turkey Sub, and well met. He sent us another update. Let me read it to you now. The plot thickens. The other day I noticed this graffiti under a nearby freeway overpass. The handwriting looks very similar. Now I will, I've done some handwriting analysis here and the lowercase ease are identical.

I think this might be the same person, but, you know. There appears to be a hyphen before the word cow, which makes me wonder whether the graffiti writer was quoting a cow bitch as having said vegan gangster. Further updates as the situation warrants. Cheers Tim. Now let me describe the graffiti to you. Two very large words, vegan gangster. Underneath that there is, as Tim describes, a hyphen, and then the words cow bitch.

So that, I mean, to me it really looks like the person has signed. Yes, yes. Yeah, they've signed their post. This is the post being the one that holds up the... The freeway? The freeway, yeah. The structural post. What you've done is a play on words there, and that's quite good. I think the message is vegan gangster and the culprit is either the cow bitch, or maybe there's no the, it just cow bitch and perhaps from this

we could interpret that the fuck yo turkey sub on the side of the subway was specifically about the meat contained in a turkey sub yeah yeah it's a it's a moral standpoint they're taking. This is ideological. Yeah. This isn't a meaningless grudge match. This is ecoterrorism, I think. There's no such thing as a meaningless grudge match. Yeah, I've never found out what ecoterrorism is, but I'm ready to accept this is what it is. I think that's what it is. Okay. Yeah. See, that's just nice a little update. It's wonderful that we have essentially an army of unpaid field journalists who, if they happen to be in the exact place that a story we spoke about took place, they can give us a little update.

It's always very nice. Speaking of, speaking of updates, a little update from the rest of the family here. Finn has just eaten seven dumplings. Oh. Now I'm understanding, I'm of the understanding that is potentially, possibly a lot of dumplings for one child to eat. He's quite a small child. He's a small child. Appropriate size for his age.

Yeah, for his age, very age appropriate. Yeah. In regards to like median height. Yeah. Yeah. I would have thought it would be more of a four dumpling, Max, kid. But like his dad. Look, you know I'm hitting like eight, eight, nine dumplings. I will eat as many dumplings as you put in front of me. Like I'm yet to find that limit.

We've got to go to a, we've got to hit a dumpling store. You want to hit a dumpling store. You want to hit a dumpling store? Dumpling store. You want to ram name. You know, we're always saying, you know, Sunnybank, etc. Because I thought maybe you were suggesting that we could go out for dinner to a dumpling place, but it sounds like you're saying we could go somewhere together to buy some dumplings and go out separate ways.

I'd tak them home. I'd like like like like thak so their their their thak so their their their their their their their sink, I'd their sink, I'd their sink, I'd that's, I'd their, I'd that, I'd that, I'd thathea, I'd that, that, I'd thatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that that that thumbe. that that, I mean, that's still... Eat them on the couch. That'd be a lovely afternoon. Well, the problem is the dumpling restaurant wants you to keep your shirt on the whole time. Yeah, but I don't want to get soy sauce and especially chili oil on my shirt. No. No. Is that shit stains? No, thank you. You know, I love dumplings. I th wish there was a special week just for dumplings. It's time, of course, for Week Watch.

Yes, it's hard to believe that it is already that time of the year again, but of course, because it is currently between the 7th of March and the 13th of March, we are in Feet Week. Oh yeah. It is. It's a footweek again. It's already. No, no, it's feet weak.

Yeah, it's not foot week, thank you. I don't know. Me and Theo are always walking into the supermarket hand in hand and saying, oh, they got feet week stuff out already. Earlier and earlier, they barely take the Christmas decorations down. Like put the huge, disgusting feet up. Big sweaty feet. Now, a few people might not be familiar with National Feet Week.

I think the nation in question is the UK, but let's, I like to think of it as International Feet Week because I'm certainly thinking about Feet this week. Here's a description from the organization, Osgo Healthcare, which I thought was maybe an acronym, because it was styled as capital O, capital S, capital G, capital O. But I cannot find any information anywhere on the internet for what they can possibly stand for. So, I guess is as good as mine. National Feet Week is an Osgo initiative to promote the importance of foot health to the general public. If you had a toothaake, you'd visit the dentist. If you had trouble with your vision, then, then, then, then, then, th then, th then, th then, then, the then, the the tho, thin thi thi thi wo, thi, thi, thi, their thiole, their tho, tho, thoache, you'd visit the dentist. If you had trouble with your vision, then you would visit an optician.

What about your feet? Many people ignore common foot complaints rather than going to see an expert. What I'm going to do? Like drag my horrible, stinky little feet into the doctor's office. Make someone look at him? Touch him? No, absolutely not. This is like the time that, you know, I had perfectly normal problems with my butt hole and what you do is you just ignore that

until it goes away, because the alternative. Oh, unthinkable. Completely unthinkable. Because you immediately start thinking about the mechanics of the thing, right? There's no way to reveal that element of your body to a person....., thuuu, thu, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, th--------------------a, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. to me, to me, to me, to-a, to-a, to-ma, to-ma. to-ma, thooomomorrow, thi. There's no way to reveal that element of your body to a person that is not in a particularly vulnerable position. And, you know, there's a, there's a part of your brain that kind of lies to you. And it goes, you know, maybe you can just describe the problem with your horrible little

hole. They're not going to want to see the butthole. Like they're going to trust you, you know, there's a big thing in health now that, you know, you trust the patient to know their body. And look, if I know any part of my body, it's the little starfish I got there between my cheeks. And I can just describe like, a person reading Braille. I can just tell you th the the they they they they th. th. they th. they th. th. thin you, thin, thin, thin, thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' to thoes, thoes, thi, thi, that's thinks, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, you're thi, you're thus, you' thu. thu. thu. th. th. th. th. th. You, you th. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you th. You, th. You, thi, thi, thi. You, thi. You, thin' thin' thin' thin' that, that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, you're just tell you what's going on down there. You don't have to look. You could maybe model it in Blender with your specific problems.

I think actually maybe like the least compromising way that you could allow a health care professional or just a curious person to see your butthole was maybe, bear with me a bit here. Let's say you're full nude. Yeah. And you're standing. You have one leg firmly on the the you have one leg up on the bed they'll sometimes have in a doctor's office, and you've got one hand on your hips and the other is sort of on the knee, you're doing a casual lead. Now they're on a sort of, you know, like a mechanic uses to slide under a car. Oh yeah. But it puts them at the correct height for looking up directly into your butt-hole.

And they've slid into the gap created between your thigh and the bed and they're looking directly up. Yeah, they've got the little wooden depressor there to kind of, you know, they're doing you know, I don't have to describe to you.... Yeah, their their their their their their their, the know, they're doing down there, you know, I don't have to describe it to you. Yeah, whatever they got to do. Whatever they're doing. I feel like, little minors hat. Like that's not, that's probably the least compromising one I can think of. Yeah, because I was going through in my head, I'm thinking, okay, first is you standing, okay, so your legs are up right, so your legs, the the the the the th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. theat the. the. the. the. the. Little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, formation, yeah. The bracket formation, right. But then he's got to get down on like his hands and knees. That's true. To get on an eye to eye with it, so to speak. Or the other thing that I've had in the potentials there was lying face, face first. Is that supine? On a massage table? You're completely clothed except you've got

one of those little squares that they put, you know, the blue medical kind of paper around and your your cheeks are kind of like just poking vertically out of out of that and he's approaching you like a masseuse. Now I think unfortunately, the reality of it is that you're going to be in downward dog and they're going to be directly behind you and they're staring directly into it much like the guy in sunshine staring directly at the sun. Yeah. Haven't seen it but I get what you're talking about. Now the whole time you guys have been talking about Theo's butthole. It could be anyone. It could be the the the th. It could be, it could be, it could be, it could be, it could be, it could be, it's, it's, I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I have th. I have thus thus thus. I have thin, I've thus. I've tho-I thoom. I thoom. I thoom. I thoom. I thoom. I thi, I thi, I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I'm the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. th guys have been talking about Theo's butthole. It could be anyone. I was 10, 20 minutes. I have been desperately trying to find out what Osgo means or stands for.

And it's very, very hard to do. It doesn't help at all that across their entire website, they are writing Osgo 50% of the time in all capitals as though it is an acronym of some kind and the other 50% of the time it is with a capital O SGO. These guys got to get on their global experience language. What are they doing over there? Yeah. Great news though. You can go to Osgo.co.co.co.ukk and you can watch the Foot and Ankle Show. You can book tickets. Really? For the Foot and Ancle Show. I would have thought

that would be pay-per-view. Hey, I book tickets to the Foot and Ancle Show every time I look down. Now, more importantly, for the freaks in the audience. There is a, there is a tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tho. tho. tho. th. th I look down. Now more importantly for the freaks in the audience, there is a menu item on the Osco website that says promoting podiatry. And if you just go down there, you will see that they have a big library of royalty-free images of people touching feet. Come on. And they're royalty free, you say. So maybe we can have those.

For commercial purposes as well? Just license free. Costs zero dollars, you know. We got pictures of bare feet touching grass. We got pictures of bare feet in the water. We got pictures of bare feet being rubbed by someone with, you know, firm but gentle hands. This is a hathus, but this would also genuinely be a useful resource for a foot person who is trying to monetize their fetish out.

Oh my goodness. Well, they wouldn't be given away free, you know. I continue here from the description of National Feet Week. National Feet Week wants to raise awareness and spread the message to visit a podiatrist. Since launching the campaign in 2019, hashtag National Feet Week has trended on Twitter and featured in many digital and printed publications, giving the profession the promotion and recognition it not only deserves but needs. Has it trended on Twitter?

I literally the fucking only reason I heard about this was because the other morning I woke up and made a joke about it being the day after his national women's day so I had to be nice to her and I was like, no what day is it today? And then she googled what day of the year it is today and then it was like oh it's feet weak. And just to recap to recap to recap to recap to recap to recap to recap to recap the the to recap the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the day the day the day the day the day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. What day. the day. What day. What day. the day. the day. the day. the day. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theled what day of the year it is today and then it was like, oh it's Feetweek. And just to recap, you woke up in the Merning? Did I say Merning? I'm joking. We'll play the tape back. I'll play that back. I'll head it and post. You may have heard about our hashtag lace.

It's our national feetet Week challenge to see how fast people can tie their shoelaces. Pretty exciting stuff. Is that... Look, admittedly, I've never seen someone speed run shoes. I mean, I guess there's different kinds of running fast in shoes, but... Not this guy. If I wanted to see someone speed run shoes... Yep. If I wanted to see someone speed run shoes, I'd type in Usain Bolt into the search bar

at huge. Duck Duck Duck Go. Oh, we're so good at jokes. And so just recap, several of us are quite sick. I have no excuse. Mental illness is real been. Oh that's true I'm deeply unwell. All donations from the challenge go to forgotten feet. A rapidly expanding nationwide UK charity set up to look after the foot health for those most in need and least likely to have the means to

access podiatry treaty. Okay that's important. Yeah but I... I got to give people shoes and stuff. I am choosing. I'm I'm to to the mental mental mental mental mental mental mental to to to the to the to the the mental mental mental mental mental mental to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the mental mental mental mental mental mental mental to to to to their mental mental to to their mental illness their mental illness illness to to their illness their illness their illness their illness their illness their illness their illness their illness their health health health health health health health health health their health their health their health their health their health their health their health their health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm to. I'm. I'm to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. I'm. I'm. the. the means to access podiatry treat. Okay, that's important. Yeah, but I've got to give people shoes and stuff. I am choosing, I'm choosing, however, to think of this as like something where there's a ceremony every year where they get up at dawn and go and like play the last post next to a big statue of a foot. Yeah. Foot. We think it's. The vision is to set up clinics in as many towns as possible where a need is identified,

creating a network of free footcare for the poorest in society throughout the UK. This year's National Feet Week is a digital campaign and Osgo has various collateral for our members to download to help spread the message around the importance of foothealth such as posters, leaflets, social media images and a PR toolkit are available for download now at www.Oxgo.co. UK. So get downloading and promoting. We hope to see your hashtag lace race, smiley face. I might have to set up a little uh, I might have to set up a bit torrent for that resource just to share it a little wider just to make sure that it's properly archived. That's right yes because people will need that. They will. Can I share with you some of the

posts that are being shared under the the National Feet Week umbrella using the hashtag so this is from the footnotes project. The text on the post reads what you love about feet and what do you less love about feet I'm gonna read that again because I I want everyone to know this is forbathom. What you love about feet and what do you less love about feet? Hashtag National Feet Week, hashtag feet? It is then a Tick-Tock. I'll tell you what I less love about feet the most.

That is some beautiful language. It's a Tick-Tock of two women talking about what they love about feet. Another national feet. Sorry, and just to cap that all off, that is from the Twitter account at footnotes underscore, ooh. That's right, that is five o's, I think. I think that's six, including the one capital at the front.

That looks like a real account. You know, I truly offensive. Now I think that's five. I closed one eye and used my mouse to count all of them. I think that's five in total. Am I going blind one? That's tough. I think that's five.

I think my eyes were deceiving me. This next post is from JML Direct. Explore these famous foot care tips for National Fe Week. Now that text, not particularly funny, but it just has a photo attached to it of just a... just it's not a flattering image of a foot and they're using some sort of pettivac on it. I'm currently... I'm currently looking at what a pettytyvac is. So basically it is an egg type of foot sucking device. Do not say those words to me.

It is. It seems to be a rechargeable device that has like a a pumice stone buffer type thing on the bottom for your calluses, but it is also a little vacuum cleaner that sucks up your foot dust while grinding it into a powder. Just do it outside on the deck and kind of kick it off the side once you're done. Also, um, not everyone's going to notice this, but for the foot officinators out there, I believe this is a case of Morton's toe. What the fuck are you talking about? I believe that that that second, I believe that she is demonstrating. Oh, sorry, don't want to see me, that they are, they are demonstrating a case of Morton's the tow's the tow's theau, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, th, th, th, tho, the, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the case, the case, the case, the case, the case, the case, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, is a the, is a the, is a the, is a tho, is a tho, is a tho, tho, tho, is a tho, tho, tho, tho, is a Morton's toe. Is that where the second toe is longer than the first one?

Hmm. I have Morton's toe. I believe we spoke about Morton's toe maybe last time I saw you. It's never far from my thoughts. Finn doesn't have Morton's toe. I'm finding it really hard to judge here looking at my own time. And also he's got like, the second the second the second the second the second, the second, the second, the second, the second, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, the second, he's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the second tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the second tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th is th is tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the is tho, is tho, is to too, is toe is too, is toe is toe is toe is toe is toe is toe is toe is toe is toe is toe is th I'm finding it really hard to judge here looking at my own time. And also he's got like, oh no you'd know if you had it. Yeah I think they're the same length. He's he's also got like kind of concave toenails. Very weird we're going to see how they're I'm hoping one day they kind of like pop upwards like the sealed button on a jam jar. Yeah. That mean, the first seal seal seal seal seal seal seal seal seal seal seal seal seal seal seal seal seal seal is the the the first seal seal seal seal is the first seal seal seal seal is the first seal seal seal is the first seal seal is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. th. thin. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. th. that means the seal is broken on his speech. The first video result for Pettivak is a YouTube review, TV stuff reviews. So they're reviewing things that have the as seen on TV sticker on them, which is always a mark of quality, you know. And the description for this one says,

Pettivac, as seen on TV works but not great. The final post I have here for you is from the National Feet Week account itself that is at Nat Feet Week. It's competition time again for your chance to win some Flexitol heel bar to enter simply RT and follow us and at Flexitol UK. Hashtag National Feet Week, hashtag competition, hashtag win. Hearing Flexitol Feet Bomb and Sitting Up like a Doc. I will say that while I'm making fun of what appears to be a lack of social media prowess, 151 retweets on that.

People want that heel bar. But, well, 92 92 faves there. I don't know whether we got some, either some insincere retweets or some quote tweets there. My last bit of National Feet Week business for you is I just want to list some of the sponsors of National Feet Week. It will come as no surprise you, but Flexitol, obviously, from the Flexstall heel balm fame. Foot Logics. Oh, they've got Foot Logics on board? Yep. And that's how you know it's legit. They got footner. They have nail-na. Come on.

You've really got the whole foot covered then, don't you? They have warty. W-A-R-T-I-E. They have Bow-box, Babox, maybe, not sure. And last but certainly not least, they've got Dr. Porpoor. So some pretty big gets there. Dr. Porpoor went to Yale.

Please, my father was Dr. Porpoor. Are you tired of paying nothing for the same old superior quality free episodes of the Buntavista podcast? Do you want less politics and more content about diarrhea, or animals gone wild? You're tired of skipping through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg Film Shooter? Well boy do I have the offer of a lifetime for you. That's right, for just five US dollars a month, you too can be a premium VIP member of the Buntavista Patreon. That's right, just five US dollars for all of our bonus episodes. That's over 300 hours of content from the hosts you know

and definitely tolerate. I'll even throw in access to our glamorous and exclusive discord server, where bizarre arguments only happen once or twice a week at most. Head to Patreon.com slash Buntavista. Sign up in the next five minutes and I won't know because that's not my job. But you'll be enjoying the sweet satisfaction of supporting us, and we will love you romantically for it. That's my promise to a podiatrist, hey, maybe think about getting there now. Hmm.

And maybe you're putting off going to a podiatrist because you've got a nasty old hole in your foot. Speaking of nasty old holes. Yeah. Andrew? Paul report, all report, it starts making sense as you have the best voices calling, you're falling. You're falling. You're falling. The whole report. Yes, this is from the ABC, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, as far as I can tell, the original and only corporation with those initials. If you see another one, it's fake news.

Fake doesn't exist. EPA orders Lethbridge's Bambagani Pets cremation service to stop horse burials in unlicensed landfill. We don't usually do listen to submissions on this show because by the time that the horrible horde out there have seen this, it's already done. It's dashed, but somehow this one did not go wild on Twitter, so. And I don't know why, because... This one did not go wild on Twitter, so. And I don't know why, because... Because dead horses is about as funny as it gets. It's...

That's right, it's all right. Comedy basics. So Victoria's environmental regulators ordered a pet crematorium in the states west to stop burying race horses after its unlic unlicensed landfill was found to be breaching environmental rules. Now before we get started on the actual operation of this corporation, when I say the words to you, shared burial service for pet owners, what do you imagining? What's that kind of... What's it? Is it invoking your mind? Maybe if you're a pet owner who had multiple

pets die at the same time or you've got a friend whose pet died at the same time you could have a joint ceremony. Yeah, sort of kind of a bit of pomp and ceremony to it, very slowly lowering an extremely large cask into the ground. See, I haven't read the story and that conjures a different idea for me. Okay. What I'm imagining is more like an Uber pool, but a bunch of people whose animals have died and someone swings around and just picks them all up, throws them in the trunk of the same car, and then just kind of sweeps them off the end of the broom at some point. A guy from around the corner from you, he's tortoises dead, your dog has died, a lady,

a lady, two streets over, dead bird, and you guys like, well, if we split this three ways. It simply doesn't make any sense to make three trips. Andrew, I think you're a little closer to the mark here. Besides cremation, the company had been offering a quote, shared burial service for pet owners, where, as the ABC understands, the dead animals were placed in a large pit of the property. Okay. I've included a picture of the pit there for the, for those of you on the podcast. Not the listeners at home. I'll describe it as... Yeah, well, to me it's more evocative of kind of a scene in a science fiction movie

where people are arriving to see where an asteroid strike has happened. Yes. I was thinking it it specifically has a kind of Tarkovsky look to it a little bit. Just the color palette and the bleakness of the landscape. So we've got two tracks for cars going off into the distance. At the end of that there's a cul-de-sac in the middle of a field and I think they've the the the the th th th th they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've thuged th-s thi the. thr-s. thrac their thr-s. thr-s. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've thr-s. I've thro. I've thea' a st. I've st. I've st. I've thea' a tre. I've theo. I've the. I've the. I the end of that, there's a cul-de-sac in the middle of a field, and I think they've dug sort of a 180-degree ditch around that cul-de-sac. For efficiency points, I think that we really need to admire the setup here, because it's clear that they kind of just like drive into this cul-de-s-, find part of the horse ditch that hasn't completely filled up with horse flesh and bones,

and push the horse off the side of the truck. It is certainly an ergonomic horse carcass hole. But apparently, this isn't the way that you conduct business when you are advertising shared burial service. Sources told the ABC that trucks had been taking dead horses and to thorsorsorsorsorsorsorsorsorsorsors taken takes t when you are advertising shared burial service. Sources told the ABC that trucks had been taking dead horses and other animals to the rear of the property for years to be buried in large pits without lining. And Council and EPA documents show that the previous landfill license expired in 2011. Yeah, I'm not... I'm not super okay with the idea of enormous horse pits.

No. I mean, horses should be buried with honor, sort of Viking funeral style maybe. Or, uh, stuffed a mountain and put in a museum next to their heart in a jar. Um, yeah, like, does a landfill license generally cover putting as many corpses as you want into the hole? Do you reckon there's going to be limits, like a horse limit? Oh, you reckon maybe if you get like the, the like everyday license, you get to put one horse in there a year, if you get the prosumer level, 10 horse carcasses, maybe if you get platinum.

Well, in Brisbane, I think we've got a pretty good setup going on where they mail you a sort of sheet from the council every year, that you get 10 free horses. You just got to show a to give to give to give to give to give to give to give to give their one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one to one, a one, a one, a to put one one, a one, a to put one to put one one one one one one one one one to put one one one one one one one one one one one to put one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one their their their their their their the council every year that you get 10 free horses. You just got to show you got to give him one of those tokens before you throw it in the hole. Now that curbside collection is back. Oh you reckon we can just wheel it out on the side of the road. You might not need to use the vouchers anymore I don't think because you can just drive them out well you can just put them out. Well you can just yeah put them out the mountain street. And the beauty of that curbside pickup in Brisbane is there's a whole ecosystem

around where people are doing the rounds looking for dead horses. Yeah to flip them on Facebook marketplace. I mean well they might have use for them as well. Yeah. I guess my point was more I think if you went down to your local landfill and you had a trailer on the back of your Ford Falcon and it had th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the their their their the. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. There. There. There. There. There. the. There the. There's the. There's theateateateateate. There's theateate. There's theateate. There's the. There's their their their their their the. had a trailer on the back of your Ford Falcon and it had a dead horse in it and you said hey just gonna drop this stuff off they'd say no they wouldn't just say follow the red line to general waste truck it in the pit. Yeah Yeah I you're gonna want horses that's the third exit on the roundabout. Like I know you could just take a I know you could take a trailer full of bags of rubbish and some of that might contain, say, like a barbecue chook carcasses.

Yeah. And that's many ferrets as you can fit in the back of your 2016 Skoda Octavia wagon. And that's, you know, that's going to eventually stink to high heavens in the Brisbane Sun. But I think if you smell the dump. If you just went down there and you just had like a trailer full of dead dogs, I think they'd say, they'd say, please don't put that in here. I would hope that the lovely people employed. Maybe ask a question or two on, Morton Bay Council, whoever that is, they would

say, hey, I got a couple of questions for you, pal. Red Bank? What's the thing out west? Redlands, you've got the Logan City Council. I would say some of the councils around that. The Brisbane City Council area, course the single largest metropolitan area local government body in the Southern Hemisphere. Yeah that's true as we all know. I mean you don't have this probably for the for the listeners not for us

on the call. ABC understands race horses are among those to have been disposed at the site so Vic Racing sort of just going like oh well you know we've got a guy. We've got a guy he's got a guy he he's th th. the th. the th. he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the the the th th th th th th the th the th th th th. the th. tho- the the the the go go go tho. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. to th. to to th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the at the site. So Vic Racing is sort of just going like, oh, well, you know, we've got a guy. We've got a guy, he's got a whole, they actually have, they've got a little travelator things going where the horses arrive at the race course,

they put them on the travelator, and then they go immediately into the truck to be buried.... lot of horses. Yeah. Oh, people like, you only focus on the negative. Or people also get hugely addicted to gambling. In December, the ABC revealed the business had been operating without an environmental protection authority landfill license for a decade, prompting the regulator to investigate. Hey, here you guys got a horsehole without the proper papers. Now the EPA has ruled the dead the dead to investigate. Hey, you guys got a horsehole without the proper papers. Now the EPA has ruled the dead animal waste being buried at the site needs to be buried at a quote lawful place under the Environmental Protection Act. I can see that, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, so I can put it in your hole but I can't put it in my hole. Well, you don't want people just opening horseholes willy-nilly, so to speak. The service had advertised horse burials on its website, but that reference has now been removed. With pet and horse cremations, the only service offered for pet owners, along with medical waste disposal. Where did you guys work at along with medical waste disposal. Where do you guys record that medical waste is going? Now, like, I don't... I don't want to...

It's a shame to waste a hole. Yeah. I don't want to like write someone off just because they did something suboptimal that one time, you know. But when they say, oh, we're not taking horses anymore. We've closed down the horseholds. th. th. th. the th. the horse. th. the horse. th. the horse. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. It's that's that's that's that's th. It's th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the only threat. the tho. It's tho. It's thooooooes thi. It's going. It's that's that's th know. But when they say, oh, we're not taking horses anymore, like we don't, we've closed down the horsehole, but don't worry, we're doing cremations. I've, I don't have like the strongest confidence that they're conducting those in a manner that isn't like put the horses in the hole and then have a bonfire? Yeah. Or maybe like it's a busy afternoon, they're like, oh I could put this thing in the

cremator. Or it's back to the old me again. Chuck this one straight in the hole. Just for old time's sake, you know. One for me, one for the hole. I did check because I know I've peaked a lot of people's interest about what can be accepted at the Brisbane City Council refuse centers. Resource recovery centers do not accept the following materials and there's only three things on this list. One, asbestos. So don't even think about it. Find somewhere else. Put in the horsehole.

Two, household hazardous waste. And three, tires. I don't think horses fit under any of those things. No. Because they're definitely not household waste. I think you're probably in the clear as far as attaching a trailer to the back of your Ford Falcon and throw on your dead horse in there.

The, um, at you falcon tow, I think like, up to 2.3 tons. Ooh. And what's a horse set you back in kilos? Not 2.3 tons. Yeah. You couldn't told me anything. I don't know. A horse weighs exactly one ton. Doesn't matter what size the horses.

That's one of the most interesting things about a horse. I'm not getting close enough to one to measure it. Oh, me either. Scary. Probably, if you wanted to stay away from horses entirely, the safest place you could possibly be... I said possibly, fuck. The safest place you could possibly be is up in a plane. It's time for plainly speaking. Ah, this is your captain speaking.

Please return your seat to their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of Plainly Speaking. I'll be honest with you Ben, I thought you were going to say if you want to the horses to stay away from you, the safest place to be is down in the horsehole. Because they know, they are not coming anywhere near that thing. Do you think that they would start kind of attributing a spiritual almost religious significance to the horsehole? Absolutely, absolutely. Like elephants and elephant graveyards except they're never going to the horse graveyard on purpose. Yeah. At some point someone's going to build a house on top of that horsehole and they are getting very horse haunted. If the horses were looking for somewhere to bury their nuclear waste so that horses hundreds of thousous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous their their thous their their their their thous their their thous their thousands of to to to to to to to to to their their to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, thi. I, the. the. I's, thea. I's, thea. thea. thea. I's, thooooooooooooooooooooo. the horses were looking for somewhere to bury their nuclear waste so that horses, hundreds

of thousands of years in the future didn't dig up the nuclear waste, that would be the perfect place. I mean, it's probably the perfect place for us if we wanted to bury it in a place where future kind of intelligence says, well I just think if you're kind of like, if you're looking at a horse corpse and a human corpse and you're trying to work out which one ruled the world, circa 2000 AD, you're going to go with the horse. Your money's on the horse. Yeah. Just from a pure like musculature, strength size, etc.

Yeah, those sorts of things, yep. This is a story from General Aviation News. This is a write-up, so they do these things where they ride up old National Transport Safety Board reports, just for sort of the purposes of learning lessons from things that people have done wrong. This is a write-up of an incident that happened in March 2020. They have titled their ride-up, New owner Seriously Injured in First Flight in Homebuilt. We have spoken in the past about Homebuilt

and amateur constructed aircraft, much to the derision of the concept, although we have had, well, specifically one listener, ride in and say they're actually very cool and safe, and I mostly trust him. I would kind of put a counterpoint to that in that I used to work with a very lovely guy. I think it was probably in his 60s when I worked with him. And potentially, I told this story on the other episode, I don't remember anything.

But he went through a lot of stuff getting his license for an ultralight. And did the same thing, put together a kit ultralight. First flight goes up, engine stops. Comes down, hits a bunch of trees, and gets sent to the hospital for a very long time. Yeah, so... I mean, look, if you were happy, if you were... Yeah, give it a bash. Just like this person did. The pilot bought the amateur-built Bauer Challenger 2, about one and a half weeks before the accident.

This was his first flight. He had no previous fly time and he had not received any flight instruction. He told investigators he had some familiarization with flying obtained from the internet. I've seen a thing or two fly before. He had planned... He'd seen the car spintwo fly before. He had not in real life from the internet. He'd seen the cars spin-off planes and sort of built his understanding from that. On YouTube red. He had planned only to taxi at the airport in Lettworth, Louisiana, however a wind gust caused the airplane to become airborne. And he ultimately flew

for about 25 minutes to quote get the hang of things. This is so dope. He's just like cruising around in his shit little plane and he's like, oh this is fun, it's just like driving a car. Oh, oh no! He attempted to land several times but was unable because of turbulence. After another landing attempt, he again decided to go around due to the turbulence. He thought the plane had cleared trees near the flight path, however the airplane was momentarily overcome by the continuing turbulence, which resulted in it hitting a tree.

The pilot, who was seriously injured in the crash, told investigators there were no issues with the airplane, noting it was, quote, performing flawlessly. It's definitely not the plane's fault. Yeah, if we had to kind of attribute this accident to one thing, and I'm not saying that we can. It might have been the fact that I was only kind of very vaguely familiar with flying what an airplane is, the airplane is, the airplane is the airplane is the airplane is the airplane is the airplane is the airplane is the airplane is the we can. It might have been the fact that I was only kind of very vaguely familiar with flying what an airplane is. I do like there's kind of a pride in being like, oh no no, no, no, the plane is great even

though it implicitly. Yeah, I was not good enough. Their little summary here, probable cause. The owner slash pilot's inability to main control of the airplane due to his lack of training experience resulted in him colliding with a tree. Yep. Yeah, about sums it up. Hmm. Asked and answered.

Seems like a major factor, you know. Seems like ultimately, this man's downfall was because of his interaction with nature. This is a story from the Associated Press. Snipped my dear. This is a story from the Associated Press. Man arrested for allegedly trying to smuggle 52 live lizards, snakes in his clothing. Hmm. It is clothing. Hmm. Exactly the same number of cards in his clothing. Hmm. It is clothing. Hmm.

Exactly the same number of cards in a deck. Coincidence? Or is it weeks in a year? Which one's 52? I think they both. Now that's a... That's something to stew on. Don't write it if we're wrong.

A man who tried to slither past you... Oh, come on. I hate it when they they they they they they they man who tried to slither past you, oh come on I hate it when they associate press should be better than that. Fuck off. Thank you for letting excuse you material. A man who tried to slither past US border agents in California had 52 lizards and snakes hidden in his clothing, authority said Tuesday. The man was driving a truck when he arrived at the San Yidro border crossing with Mexico on February 25th and was pulled out for additional inspection. The U.S. Customs and Border Objection said in a statement, You, the man whose entire suit is wriggling. Yeah, step out a lot. You got cartoon wiggle lines all over you.

This guy's vibrating very fast. Agents found 52 live reptiles tied up in small bags, quote, which were concealed in the man's jacket, pants, pockets, and groin area, the statement said. 30 of the 50 snakes just down the front of his pants. It's very flattering actually. Nine snakes and 53 horned lizards were seized. Some of the species are considered endangered, authority said. The man, a 30-year-old US citizen, was arrested. As he probably should be. I like his dedication. Oh, what's the crime?

Smuggling and dangerous animals. Tell me what's the crime. Who among us? Who cast the first stone, I think just something about these stories when they can provide a specific number is quite funny. It's really got that energy of like, you know that sort of trope in a movie where they'll be like hand over your gun and the other one and the knife in a little knife holster on your foot. Yeah. Yeah and that things just keep coming out on the table. That but with horned lizards? Yeah, do you think they reached into like his pockets first? I'm like, oh, coming back with handfuls of lizards here. First they reached into like the Sam Brown holster under his jacket, pulled a couple out of there. They look in the obvious places first. This they try to pat him down and every try they to to to to to their their their try try try to pat him down and every time they touch him another horned lizard falls

out. Oh, no, you know Mexico. You are lousy with horned lizards. We're getting very close to the end here, but I think we have time for one more, very short story. I just want to warn you guys in advance that I know we're not a politics podcast anymore. We're trying to talk about depressing current events that's something we try and avoid. But you know what with things happening in the world. Yeah. It's so hard to pick a side. Definitely where I was going on with that.

It will be crazy for us to not say something at this point. So it's time for this final segment and this is of course tabloid phenomenon. This is a story from Staffordshire live. This is a story from Staffordshire Live. Burton Landlady bars Vladimir Putin from her pub. Uh, this is a Putin from her pub. Damn. Hmm. Probably a good step actually. Just to be safe. I think cancel culture's gone too far personally. I just think you should have a rule. Yeah. Yeah you know we should be asking every venue that doesn't have an explicit, no Vladimir Putin. Oh, so you'd let him in, would you? You'd let him in?

You'd serve Putin a stout, is that what you're saying? After the thing in Ukraine, whatever that is. After some crisis happened. Sam Rice, who runs the loaf and cheese, says Mr. Putin is not welcome in her Waterloo Street Boozer as he continues to spearhead an invasion of the Ukraine. Fucking Lord of the Rings country. It's actually something that I like I like about this because like I'm like a lot of the sanction stuff.

And look like I said I'll be very carefully because number one I don't feel very well. Number two. I don't feel very well. the too. the the the Ukraine. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the invasion the invasion. I the invasion the invasion. I the invasion. I the invasion the invasion the invasion. I the invasion the invasion the invasion. I the invasion. I the invasion. I the invasion the invasion the invasion the invasion the invasion. I the invasion. I the invasion. I the invasion. I the invasion. I the invasion. I the invasion. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I look, like I said, I'll be very carefully because number one, I don't feel very well. Number two, very stupid man. Number three, hey, being yelled at. So the two things of note are the eagerness with which the world has swept onto the Russia sanctioned things not just from a financial point of view But also from the like we're kicking Russian kids out of sports teams and stuff. Yeah home and abroad. Yeah, that's that kind of thing Fuck, it's truly nuts. It's it's pretty crazy like I did see somebody saying a while ago man they got rid of every

trace of Russian culture from society a lot faster than they took down those statues, huh? But but you know like the effectiveness of sanctions and everything that's all up for debate. But again, remember that America has like states where to be employed by the state government. You have to sign a personal pledge that you will not participate in the BDS movement against Israel. Government departments make you sign a pledge of loyalty to Israel that you will not boycott them in any way. So you know all of a sudden it seems like boycotts are good

and sanctions are good and they work actually. But like a lot of them, there are some where they say, hey, we're like freezing people's funds and that sort of stuff. We're like, yes, that's gonna have an impact. Hey, we're gonna stop trade between these areas. That's gonna have an impact. And the the the the the the the the the the the the their th and their their th. And their th. And their th. And th. th. th. the, the, the, thoes. thoes, thoes, thoes, the. the. thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It. It's th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's going to have an impact. And then there are some of them where you're like, what's that one doing? And this to me is the purest distillation

of ones that make you go. What's that one really doing? Was he on his way in? Was he coming home? And he was maybe going to have a quick time. Well, certainly not anymore. turned back before he even got started. He was in the Uber, scrolling through the news. Hold up, hold up. I'm gonna need you to turn around, I'm sorry.

No, I don't want to talk about why. I don't want to talk about why. This better not be the loaf and cheese, the Waterloo Street booze. Yeah. Sam Rice says her customers are disgusted at Russia's actions. So so so so so so so so so that that that that that that tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. their their their their tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He. He's. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's thi. He's thi. thi. He's to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. tho. tho. tho. tho. the. He's actions, so much so that they would quote, wreck Mr. Putin if he ever tried to come in for a pint. Damn.

Quote, what he is doing is just wrong. It is all my customers are talking about at the moment. They said if they came in, they would wreck him. It is absolutely wrong what he is doing. Miss Rice's sanctions are the latest to hit the president after US-based credit card giants Visa and Mastercard announced they would suspend their Russian business operations. Russia began a full-scale invasion of Ukraine in February, February, it's the largest conventional military

attack on a sovereign state in Europe since the Second World War. And now this. And now this... Can you get to break. Good Lord. How you doing there, Andrew? Oh, I don't feel good at all. Oh, buddy, let's get you to bed. That is all that we have time for.

A big follow-up thank you for everyone that donated to our fundraiser. We ended up raising, it's up over 31 grand now, which we were on like 13,500 at the end of the stream that we did that was kind of meant to be the end of all that. And then people just kept donating money, which is fucking wild. That's truly, truly phenomenal stuff. We will be paying out money to those people very shortly and I am very thrilled at the prospect of doing so.

Or will we? Or do you need a new car? No, we probably will. Yeah, we probably should. Like, yeah. We'll hold out for a bigger scam maybe. Oh yeah, thank you so much everyone did that. Truly astonishing stuff. Honestly we are so, so grateful. Thank you very one that came and hang out the second stream. I accidentally got very drunk doing that.

I had a lovely time. It was wonderful. I woke up feeling like shit the next day though. What are you going to do? Could have been anything. Could have been anything. We'll catch next time. Bye. But I.