Boonta Vista - EPISODE 241: The Billie Eilish Society For The Prevention of Cruelty To Animals

Episode Date: March 17, 2022

Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: A mystery liquid demystified, occult practices in Rhode Island, the robot that tells you to calm down, an unexpected bullet, and romance. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello, welcome to Buntavista episode 241. I'm Theo and there's no other way to put this, you know. I think it's time to get real. I know a lot of our listeners have been asking, hey, you know, when are you going to talk about this on the show? And yes, even though we are nominally a news slash comedy podcast now, we have to acknowledge that lots of people still expect us to speak out about the stuff that matters, you know? I personally think it's time for us to stop sitting on the sidelines on this one.

It's time to pick a side. But it's tough, you know, to balance. Maybe people listen to our podcast because they want an escape from the big issues and they don't necessarily want them thrust back into their face when they're not expecting it. But at the same time, this sort stuff's been going on too long and honestly it's time for it to stop. I'm frankly sick of it. Every time I turned around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around the the the the the the the the the the the the tip tip tip the tip tip tip tip the tip tip tip. I tip th. I th. I'm thi the tha thi thi. I the the thi. I the the the thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm ti. I'm ti. I'm ti. I'm ti. I'm ti. I'm ti. I'm ti. I'm teeeeeeee. I'm teeeeeee. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te you know, then you turn on the TV and there's always a guy, yeah, you know the type of guy and he's like, oh well, that's the way I've always done it. I'm like, yeah I know, that's why we're trying to change. You turn on Q&A and some fucking psycho from the Australian Psycho League and he's like it doesn't go far enough. Well, we need more of it. I'm watching honestly feels like I'm taking crazy pills at this stage. And you know, in addition to the 150 milligram daily dose of Vendler vaccine, God forbid, you

know, someone brings it up at the office. Because you know, you'll be stuck into listening to the worst guy on earth giving you the worst opinions anyone's ever had. You're just nodding and thinking, you know, how long would it take for them to find his body if I threw it down the elevator shaft. I mean like nowadays we're more aware of this stuff, sure, but it doesn't mean it's like a new thing. Things have always been bad. It's just now we're talking about it. But I think talks very different from action and you know action is very difficult from structural change. Because this sort of thing can only continue to prevail when it's allowed to from the top down. Right now we've got to be kidding ourselves if the Liberal Party did anything about it. You know, and this close to an election?

It's not going to happen. It's not even like things are going to get better under labor. You know, if they come into power, I mean, they haven't seen any actual policy proposed by them, which is really where the rubber hits the road. Plus, you know, it's not just Australia that's dealing with this, right? Every nation, especially those in the OECD, and they have to take a stand. It's not right for us to expect individuals to shoulder this weight, you know? Anyway, I don't really know where I'm going with this, this, this, this, tha tha tha, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin' is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the their, the their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to thi. to to to toooooooooooi. toooooooo. thi, thi, thi, and sorry for going on so long, you can tell it's a bit of a bee in my bonnet. But you know, I think it's important. Anyway, I'm here as always with my friend Ben. Now, Ben, sorry for bringing the mood down

right the start of the podcast, but we were talking off pod about this and it just seemed like the right thing to do for us would be to address it, right, to address it, right, to address it, right, to address it, right, to, to, to, to, the, to, the, to, to, to, the, the, tho, to, thr, thr, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thin, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th...... th. th. And, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, the, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi, thi, th thing to do for us would be to address it, right? I mean, yeah, like I've made my feelings about this very clear. You know, I think, um, sort of trying to steer the podcast away from that sort of stuff, might have even been more of a pressure thing on my part because I just don't have the emotional energy for it. I don't we were done with this by now. It's 2022. It's 2022. You know, and I just thought that we would be fucking through this and it's shameful that we're still seeing this.

As you said, it's on the TV every night, every fucking newspaper, like, every... And I think we just got sick of talking at it at a a a at a at, thi, thi, thi, at it, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their,'s so fucked. I don't even... I mean that's all you can really really say. We should probably pull in Andrew at this point, my dear friend Andrew, we actually got a letter about this this week. I don't have the in the inbox you are able to read that one for us. Yeah sure I mean obviously we get a lot of correspondence about important to address all kinds of stuff. And this letter is no different. Dear Bunties, first of all, love the podcast. You can tell everybody on it has working and normal dicks.

You're all so funny and interesting. And it's super cool how for five US dollars a month, I get twice as much content. And best of all, no ads. I was wondering, are you guys going to address the thing on the podcast next week. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their thi thi thi. First thi. First thi. First their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their first first first first first first the the thi. First thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. First thi. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thou thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. First thi. First thi th content. I get twice as much content. And best of all, no ads. I was wondering, are you guys going to address the thing on the podcast next week? I think it would mean a lot if you guys had a take on it. Thanks so much. Signed, a cumsock filled with dead bees. Hmm. Yeah. And yeah, I agree. Yeah. But how do you begin to articulate a response to that?

Yeah, how do you, how do you unpick this web? I mean it is hard to get dead bees out of a cum time I agree. They just start coming apart. Yeah. But not along the like, not along the cum lines. It's sort of, you're getting, you're gonna break right up a bee, kind of like snapping a, what's the crumble thing? Honeycomb?

A honeycomb in half. I mean, I guess like to the amateur, you might think, okay, the crunchy part I can feel is the dead bee, I would put it to you, you don't know cum socks. Yeah. It's an amateur's mistake. Now, Theo, I'm going to pull back the curtain for a little second here because this is your intro, you set all of this up, and you've brought us here to this point, and then,

I sort of, you know, just then politely throw, th, th, you do, I guess, what was maybe going to be a punchlight or a sort of, uh, denie more to the bit, but then, um... I just, I honestly don't think this, this is, I think we have to take this seriously. Yeah, okay. If you got more words to go along with that? You would uh... You want us to take it more seriously? No, I just, I don't think that we should like end this with a punchline given, you know, the... Given what the thing is? Oh, the gravity of the situation.

Yeah, yeah. It's no joke. It's no joke. It's taking a serious. That's where that okay. Yeah, look, speaking of a sock filled with come. Sometimes, sometimes you put your hand in to somebody else's sock and you don't know what's going on in there. There's all kinds of crazy substances.

Sometimes it's dry but sometimes it's what can only be described as a... The issue was circumcision. Phaeucian. Ah. Can I only be described as a mystery liquid? Mystery liquid, can't tell what color it is with a slick oily sheen. What could it mean? Mystery liquid, I see some good that is forming a pool on the floor. Who is it for? I'm gonna taste the mystery liquid.

I'm gonna taste the mystery liquid. Now, this is an update to an earlier story, which I don't think that we have ever actually followed up to a mystery liquid story one of our oldest segments with an answer to what the mystery liquid was. So in a sense this isn't mystery liquid this is simply liquid liquid. So this is an update to a story that we did in the live episode to serve egg. This was about a cargo spill of an unnamed hazardous liquid that was at John Wayne Airport in America. Real name of an airport apparently.

This is a story from the Orange County Register, which is what I believe the band OCs is currently called. It's a little joke for the music heads out there. Thank you. Cargo spill at John Wayne Airport turns out to be non-hazardous. The Orange County Fire Authority investigated a potential chemical spill that turned out to be non-hazardous John Wayne Airport after a liquid substance leaked from something in the cargo area of a passenger plane on Friday afternoon February 25th, official said. At around 1225 p.m. firefighters responded to an American Airlines flight from Chicago that

landed at John Wayne Airport after three employees unloading cargo from the plane reported liquid, said Marissa unvert. Hey, you guys smell that? They all said. Well did we get to the bottom of whether it actually smelled in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their you guys smell that? They all said. Well, did we get to the bottom of whether it actually smelled in the original one? I don't think that they ever commented. I don't think they gave us a full breakdown of which senses the liquid impacted upon. Well, based on the explanation,

I'm going to surmise to have some stink on it. Well, I reckon you might be right. The fire authority determined the substance was non-hazardous animal tissue that was being transported for dissection in a lab, the agency said in the statement. Oh, that's just animal goop. It's just animal goop. Now, I don't know about you guys. I think about tissue and I consider that to be a solid. At the very least a viscous semi-solid certainly depending on the animal. Yeah. But as we all know, uh, you leave a dog in a hot car for long enough. And that dog will pool. I didn't know that. I didn't know that.

That's not come up in my studies. Okay. Because I'm talking weeks, I'm talking months months.. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th to to to thol tho to tho thi months thi months thi months thi thi thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiolid thiolid thiolid thiolid thiolid that that that that that thi that that that thi thi that thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi ti ti ti ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti ti the the the th up in my studies. Okay. Because I'm talking, I'm talking weeks, I'm talking months. Yeah, talk. Well on a long enough timeline, all of us will pull. Yeah. It's true. All of us will become a mystery liquid. Yeah. So yeah, that's uh, you can put your mind at ease. It wasn't some sort of mysterious horrifying substance, it was just the drippings from non-specific animal tissue. Yeah, liquefied animal for experiments. And who knows what the tests were? And it's also exciting that they just put those on planes as well. Yeah, on passenger aircraft. That's interesting. And you're like, you're packing your bags, you're like, all right. And we've got underpants. I've got my passport.'ve got socks. You're doing the count of the amount of days you've got. Okay, so five days. I probably want five t-shirts plus two for spare, you know,

a couple pairs of shorts, just in case. Yeah, one completely liquefied beaver. Charger, a USB charger. I've got to remember to take that when I, yeah, well, because you have to use it overnight. Yeah. So you can't pack it the day before. Yeah. And then you're always sleepy because you got to wake up early for your flight, obviously. Yeah. I mean, you're not going to forget the liquefied, uh, beaver because.

You can pack that before. You can't that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. the. the. the. to. to. the to. the the the the the the the that. I. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. Yeah. I that's. Yeah. Yeah. just take that out of the freezer and put it in a bag and doesn't really matter if it melts and just like oozes everywhere. Yeah. I guess my issue is that this story sort of suggests to me that if they're transferring like chimpanzee fillets on a domestic plane, that they're doing it in basically like a hello fresh box. Yeah. You know? Oh, it's okay. It's got some of that like foil lining.

The Uber eats guy arrives at your libertarian just like throws the whole fucking bag at the door. Where is he arrive? Just, you know, where you're working? Yep. Doing my science at the... Science house, yeah. Clink it around my beakers at the learning factory. I've been hurting, very sick.

Three employees are evaluated by firefighters that did not display any symptoms. OCFA Captain Greg Barda said, they were not taking the hospital. Did they show symptoms of being grossed out? Did they showed signs of washing their hands a lot? They showed symptoms of being gacked. At all the telltale sides of an individual who had been recently gacked. I'm wondering whether they're expecting some sort of like DNA or behavior or merging, like they're all starting to build dams made out of timber.

I um... I was filling up our our chickens water dispensing unit the other day. And there was what I assume was some like chicken shit in the water, you know? So it's one of these it's one of these ones where you take off a big thing and fill it up with water and then you put the bottom on it and it kind of locks and then you turn the whole thing over in one fell swoop and then the bottom comes off and all the water comes out on your shoes and you go fucking uh yeah yeah and your wife says you okay and you go uh yeah yeah yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the the. the. the. the. the the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. th. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole This has been a trick on you, Theo. That never happens to me. So, so like it's got this little, you know, moat around the outside that gets filled up with the water. And I emptied that out and there was like what looked like mud in this thing.

And I've washed the thing out under the tap and kind of, you know, got all the stuff out of there. But there was like a brown smear on my hand and I went, oh, gave a little sniff and went, ugh, that's a liquefied chicken shit or whatever. Gave my hands a good wash with the soap and everything. And just for the next like 12 hours, I was sniffing my hand and going, ah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, when there's something that just kind of sticks to you. And that was a bit of chicken shit. Yeah. That wasn't, that wasn't, I got splashed with the miscellaneous animal tissue runoff from the plane.

I think these guys are going to be stinky for, I don't know, 72 hours. Oh, it seems like a safe estimate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th th, it. thi. th thi thi thi, it. thi, it's these guys are going to be stinky for I don't know 72 hours. It seems like a safe estimate. Yeah a few showers you know you scrub it and everything doesn't come out. I came home from the shops or something the other day and there was like a brown patch on my shorts and I kind of like gave it a bit of a scratch was dry. It's on like a front leg. So it's a bend over, gave it a bit of a scratch, it was dry. It's on like the front leg. Sort of bend over, give it a sniff. I smelled all the world like human shit. Oh, that's no good.

I figured at some point I was changing Finns diaper. You got some splash back. Well, some rubback. Um, you know, his little boulders sort of hit it on the way past or something. You got some splash back? Well, some rub back. You know, his little boulders sort of hit it on the way past or something. And then I've just gone, oh well, time to continue my day with a human turd. Kind of like scraped along the front of my shorts.

I'm in public like that. You haven't done your cursory. Have I been shat upon check that you usually do before leaving house? It it a a a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. You. You. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you's, you's, you's, you, toole, you, you, toole, toole, toole, toole, toole, toole, toole, toole, toole, tap, thole, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, threatha, toole, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toguuue, togua, togua, toge, I been shat upon check that you usually do before leaving the house? Well it hasn't been a part of my routine until having a child. I also notice... Having a tellip, you get a lot more shit on you, yeah. At this point, we should perhaps note the absence of our beloved co-host, Lucy. Yeah. She is dead, RIP, Lucy. She's like the Queen. She's not dead. Whink. Wink. She totally hung out with Justin Trudeau. Wink. You see that photo? Where the Queen's like a straight up gargle. She had Mr Burns back in the photo? Oh yeah.

Oh, that was I'm gonna be a kill joy and in the photo. Oh yeah. Oh that was, I'm got to be a kill joy and say the one everyone was looking at was the Photoshop. Oh, come on. Oh, the one way she looks like the turtle guy from Master of Disguise. The sad thing is she already looks fucked up. You didn't have to overcook it, you know. The head got dropped down to make it look like a skexy from the dark crystal. It's interesting. Yeah. So you're going for many skexes, one skexy. A single. Oh do you think it's... I think I think skexies is the is the plural. I was of the understanding. I think it's fish rules. One skexis many skexes. Or maybe one skexis many skexis or maybe one skexis many skexies.

Oh is this where the skexes are a villainous race? Yes, the skexess by strapping young lad comes from. Certainly yes, that's right. And I'm so glad you asked. Fuck it's such a good track to this. The problem is that every reference that I'm seeing is referring to them in the plural. Yeah. Yeah. Who's the little bitch one who's like, I want to be the boss? Oh, that is, uh, shit, fucking, god damn, I know this.

Oh, they've all got very similar names, my goodness. Yeah, but they're only referred to by their roles in the movie. The name's only coming in a book. So I, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, the book, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the, I, I, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, I the, I, I, I, I the, the names only come in a book so I'm the dark crystal I'm currently looking at the MuppetWiki Muppet dot fandom dot com yes Skexial is the Chamberlain of the Skexies as Schaecil was second in line to the Skexy throne individual, now that's interesting, okay so yeah you only ever hear them referred to in the collective, you know, Skexies. Wait, whoa, whoa, wait, up, up, up, up, up, up, I'm just saying. I, are you going to try and argue with Muppet.fandem. Dot.com.

Just reading from Wikipedia here. Uh-oh. The word Skexis. That's got even more clout than Muppet-wig. Muppet-duf, random-duckier or whatever. The word skexis serves as both singular and plural form for this species, with a singular form be pronounced skexes and the plural form skexes. Fuck! Yep. So, suck me off. Can you please play the official suck me off theme.

Suck me up.? Yeah I can do a suck me off theme. I've been thinking I've I've had a lot of themes rattling around lately that are that are like some variety of like shut up or the big fuck you of the week kind of themes you know and I think that would be usable for quite a lot of purposes you know yeah yeah. that would be usable for quite a lot of purposes, you know? Yeah. Uh, uh, I'm trying to remember what the phone we were talking about? Getting goop on you? How do we get on to Skecksies?

Oh, we're talking about the Queen. The Queen is like Lucy. Lucy is dead. Lucy. We love her very much. She is just very unwell. If you would like to write a message of well-wishing to Lucy, please write into mailbag at Buntavista.com or harass her directly on Twitter. Are we going to play her little letter to the listeners here or? Yeah, I mean it will be the

patron ad if you're listening to the, if you're not paying for it, you'll hear it in this episode and she sounds very, like I think I might have been concerned about her for the first time in my life. Not great. I honestly don't know how she's producing that noise to be perfectly honest. Sort of close to Tom Morker's, uh, bad marge. Uh, that he does. Yeah. While also being like 30, 30 frogs in a rock tumbler.

Yeah. Hmm. Dear Pontivista listener, if you're hearing this, I am dead. I'm here in GirlBus Heaven with all your favorites like Ruth Peter Ginsburg, Margaret Thatcher, and Queen Elizabeth II, who wants you to be sure that she's dead as fuck and has been for several weeks, if not months. The only way to bring me back to life is to go to Patrion.com

slash Puntavisa and pay five5 a month to get a bonus Puntivis episode. If you're already doing that, I'll see you soon in GirlBas Heaven. Ruth Kanda forever. When somebody sounds that way, it's a bad sign. It's a bad sign. And of course that leads us directly into our segment in which we cover bad signs, omens and portents. You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon.

And you shall know that God is God and bow down to his will. You absolutely will. This is a story from the Associated Press. Bang of animal heads linked to sacrifice ritual? Question mark, question mark. I was hoping you'd tell me. Oh, wow. Is it, what's that golden rule of reporting?

Is that if there, yeah, there's a question, the answer is no. I think, I don't know, hard to say. We'll be the judge of that one. It is oddly, it seems like a weirdly informal headline for the Associated Press. It's an interesting question. Betteridge's law of headlines. It's a good one. Yeah, we'll see if he's wrong. That old bitch. I don't know who that is.

Several animal heads found in a plastic bag in East Greenwich last month appear to be related to some sort of religious animal sacrifice ritual. The Rhode Island Society for the prevention of cruelty said Tuesday. Oh, we're going with maybe, huh? The bag, originally brought to the attention of police on February 25th near a boat launch, contain a calf's head, several rooster heads, a lamb head, and a kid goat head. The animal welfare group said in a statement, the royal flush. It is believed that animal remains that were found were from animals that were sacrificed

as part of a religious ritual, the non-profit organization said. Now, how about this? How about mind your own business? Backtracking a little tiny bit here. That story that we did last that was also about animal parts also happened on February 25th. Oh, a big day for... Animal parts. Yeah. Yeah. Good day for podcasting, bad day for animals. That is.

Also, Angie said it's a royal flush, but if you do flush a bag full of animal heads, your plumber gets very angry with you. Oh, imagine trying to do it in an American toilet. That shit would back up before you even looked at it. No way, no way. You'd need to, um, I think you would need to, like maybe put it through like a meat grinder or something before you put it down there.

You still should not be doing that. Like ideally not. I uh, I correctly might be relatively recently. I, um, I like emptied the the like toilet from a caravan into our toilet. Uh, take us through this. I got nothing better on. All right, so I wish you wouldn't, but so if needs most. Keep in mind, we did get a ba- email this week asking us, begging us for one normal episode that they can show their partner. Should we say why they begged for them? Oh, yeah, I'll do it.

Hold on a second. I don't know if we should, just, just, just, just, just, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, to, th, th, th, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I'. to, I, I, I, I'll, I. I. I'll, I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I, I. I, I. I, I. I. I, I. I. I, I. I. I, I. I. I, I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th.'t know if we should. Just a, well... And then we'll go straight back to how you transport. Yeah, straight back to what we're talking about. I feel like we'd be interfering with fate in a manner that uh, Uartu, the Watcher is forbidden from doing. And we should also adhere to this code. I put it to you could just kind of mess with people's business, you know? Anyway, we got an email from a listener named NAM. Don't say his name. One name. One name. I'm not docks and anybody. He knows who he is. I feel like she would also know who is. Yeah. If you are a pretty girl who was recently told by a guy named F. Looking kind of nervous, a little bit sweaty on the other lip. We've got a problem here, because I think, um, I don't know whether this was, uh,

I don't know whether he's like told her about how he. Oh, I'm telling her now. Yeah. Yeah, okay. So let me let me lay it out for you, nice lady. Ben, just make some time- here, we'll let it this whole part out. No, Ben will not be editing this out. So, so, send us an email. Subject line, hi, urgent. Very important to me, Ben, that you nip and tuck this. Hi, could you please release some normal episodes real quick. I accidentally just told a girl I like about the podcast and now she's gonna think I'm a horrible little freak

No offense. I love the pot exo X-o So look a couple of things to note here sounds like a you problem I mean to me. That sounds like an us problem. Why it doesn't really affect anything about how we do our business? I mean to me that sounds like an us problem. Why? It doesn't really affect anything about how we do our business. I mean maybe we're doing it wrong. We care about the well-being of all of our listeners. Do we? I care about the well-being of some of our listeners. I'm like this. And I think I'm gonna edit that name. Oh, I'm gonna beep. I'm gonna beep the name. I'm gonna beep the name. Stop so- I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th th th tho tho th. tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the gonna edit that name out. Just as I'm gonna edit it out the first time I said it. I'm gonna beep, I'm gonna beep the name, stop saying the goddamn name. So don't beep the name because otherwise,

hold no, don't because the important thing is, we're doing God's work here for. He attempted to flirt by recommending a podcast. Bad move. Not, that's not your A game is all we're saying. And now, I personally, I'm going to take the rock, run it up, slam dunk, and we're going to let this nice lady know, look, Feeke thinks you very nice. He thinks you're very pretty. He got nervous and he recommended a podcast. We've all done it. You know, I mean...

He accidentally recommended a podcast instead of saying, hello, that's how that's how the other he was. Instead of saying, look, it'd be great. So maybe take you out sometime, you know, take out for a nice meal, buy you a drink, if that's what you're into, you know, that's what I think is maybe going to take you a little further than recommending a podcast where you immediately need to write to the hosts and say, Can you change the vibe of the podcast? So that this nice girl I've been talking to does not think I am a freak by association. Yeah buddy if we could have done that by now we would have. Yeah, yep. So instead you know if you are the girl that F.ck was talking about, Fnick, Fck. Then...

I hate you, why you're doing this to me? If you are the girl that Fick was talking about, you know, stop doing this. Give him a chance, give them a shot. Say, I'm not going to listen to any more of the podcast if you're not into it, you don't have you you you you you you you don't have to have you to have to have to have to have, we don't know a single goddamn thing about FAC, FAC's back, oh now I'm doing it, about him, his background. Well we know he's a listener of the show, so he's got great taste. But I will say we vouch for him wholeheartedly, unreservedly, and without exception. That's right. Unless anything goes wrong on the date, in which case that's on F. Yeah. That's a fucking problem. Well, well. Well, well. Well, well. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. that's th. th. th. the f-f. the f-f. F-f. F-f. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. I. I's, the. I's. I's. I's. I's, the. I's, the. I's, the. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's the. I's f-a's f-I's f-I's on F. Yeah. That's a f-yeah problem. Whoever it is. So I guess that's a bit of beautiful

matchmaking done for this episode of the podcast. How do you get the diarrhea from one to the other toilet? Oh, so what happens right? This one's you, I want tendtendulks here. So, it's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. It's very well sealed and everything, right? So basically the toilet in the caravan, you can take your big dumps and your pisses into that, right? You can put your toilet paper in and everything, not like those Greek to toilets. And, Ben, you look like want me to explain that.

No I don't because I want fuck I want fuck to get down. I'm in this for fuck. All right. And basically on the side of the camera and you can just open this little door and then you can just like pull this whole thing straight out right this whole thi thi. And it comes out just like a like a little suitcase, you know? And the way the the like valve going down into it works. Yeah as soon as you pull it out it just like snaps closed by itself. So apparently it works extremely well unless you wait too long to empty it. This is a story about you overloading your toilet.

No, the times I have had to empty this toilet, I've been very careful about the situation. This is heinous. Yeah and then you take it into the toilet in a normal bathroom and there's like a big pipe that you sort of got you go and open up this pipe you turn it up and then you just pour like 20 liters of bathroom time into your own toilet and then you flush it you know but because it's all like because it has that sort of septic tank stuff in it that like breaks down the turds and the toilet paper and everything, it just comes out in a nice big slurry

and you can just flush it and it's fine. Whereas if it was like goat heads and a lamb head, that is not going to to slurry it. You know, you gotta break that down somehow, you know? I'm just gonna read the thanks here. Maybe drill a bunch of holes into the skull, hit it with a hammer. The bag also contained grains and colored cloth materials quote associated with previous animal sacrifice investigations and two hand-drawn pictures, the organization said. One looked like a letter D with an arrow through it and one looked like a smiling theatre mask. All right. All right I got a bunch of problems with this. Yes. The bag contained grains and colored cloth material associated with animal sacrifice investigations.

Previous animal sacrifice investigations, that's right. What's the colored cloth? Oh, they've got the red cloth! Maybe, maybe it's got like red cloth! Maybe it's... Maybe it's got like a little, like a little imprint or a little, a little bit of knit work on it. What do you call that? A monogram. But, uh, this cloth is for animal sacrifices.

My biggest problem though is that a letter D with an arrow through it is a bow and arrow. I can see that. That's what you're talking about. Well I mean it depends on your orientation. You have the letter D and then you put an arrow on it. And you could just picture that in your head. Yeah you can just beep-boop and you've worked that out yourself without having a even tho. Even though it's an audio medium. All right. off by entering your mind palace unless you're one of those people with aphasia or whatever. I can't see it, I can't see shit. Dyshia? What's it? A-Fantasia? A-Fantasia. Okay. Unless you're one those suckers who can't picture anything? Again, that's a you problem. Yeah, that's me. That's me. Can't really really really that's a that's a that's a that's a th th th th that's a the the th. I I I I I that's a the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I can't see. I can't see. I can't see. I can't see. I can't see. I can't see. I can't see. I can't see. I can't see. I can't see. I can't see. I can't see. I can't s. I can't s. I can't s. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. I th. S. S. S. S. I'm th. S. S. F. I'm th. S. S. F. S. S. F. F. S. F. I'm th. S. S. F. I'm th. S. I can't th. with that. I don't know why you're listening to a podcast if you can't picture anything based on words. I don't know if you need to.

I don't know if closing your eyes and imagining what you're hearing being described is an important part of the podcast experience. I, I assume that it is. Do you not picture things when you're listening to like a radio show? I'm busy doing the dishes mostly. tha tha tha tha tha tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thii. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to thi to to to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to like a radio show. I'm busy doing other things. Doing the dishes mostly. I'm busy folding my laundry. Yeah. Anyway, Ant your mind palace, picture a big letter D and then there's an arrow and it's going across. Oh, what do you know? It's a bow with an arrow in it. We did a we had another story about the remains of an animal sacrifice being found on a beach on the East Coast of America and I believe it was. it. it. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is. It is. It is. It is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to thi. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to f to f to f to f. I to f. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the the the thi. the toda. the today the East Coast of America and I believe it was in one of the Carolinas last time. It was like, oh I found a chicken.

You know? Yeah, it was like two chickens and some blood on a beach on an island. Maybe somebody was making dinner. Mind you business, you know? Yeah, that might have been it. It could have been someone was preparing two chickens to roast them. So I guess the RISPCA, excuse me? Yeah, so because they don't have royalty over in the US, except for their wonderful celebrities, they, each of the states, they've got a state society for the protection and care of animals,

whatever it is, so they don't have an RSPA, you know, they got an RI, an NY, someone and so forth. They should have ones named after celebrities also. The Billy Ilish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. They have asked anyone with information about the bag or the significance of the drawings to contact their investigators. I think you should mind your business. All of us have a bag full of heads that we don't want anyone to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know to know the to know their to know to know their their to know their their their their to know their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to be. Soles. Soles. Soles. Soles. Soles. Soles. Soles. Soles. Soles. Soles. Soles. Sol. Sol. Sol. Sol. Sol. Sol. Sol. Sol. Sol. So, their. So, their. So, their investigators. I think you should mind your own business. All of us have a bag full of heads that we don't want anyone to know that, you know, be that literal or metaphorical. That's so true. Well, I can only assume that someone really had it out for that calf,

those roosters, that lamb, and that kid goat they really took it to him. And that's what you gotta do sometimes when you feel extremely angry towards someone. You gotta take to them with some kind of object, perhaps even the mythical lead pipe. With a lead pipe. She's mighty angry, red to start a fight. With the lead pipe. She's sweet and red, she's swinging lead. Gonna hit you in my hand, yeah.

This is a press release from the University of Zucuba. Robot that seems to convey emotion while reading. Pipe. I don't like that. You're absolutely right. As soon as you say robot and emotion in the same sentence, unless the sentence is, this robot conveys no emotions, I will be bashing the robot, all of robot conveys no emotions. Yeah.

I will be bashing the robot. All of those ones where it's like, hey, imagine if you could check in at a hotel. And this robot that only has features from the shoulders up grimmest at you as though it were in agonizing pain while it asked you if you have a credit card booking. Yeah. Don't like it. Scientists from the Faculty of Engineering Information and Systems at the University of Tsukuba devised a text message mediation robot that can help users control their anger when receiving upsetting news.

Do you get to hit the robot? You do not. I think you get to shake it, looking at the diagrams down below. That would, I mean, like, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the one. That's the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the their. the the the the the the their. their. the their. their. That's their. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's the the the the one. That's, the one. That's, that's, that's, the that's, that's, that's th. th. that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the to shake it looking at the diagrams down below. That would, I mean, like, that's the one circumstance in which I can imagine the robot that is the uncanny Valley robot helping. Is if it tells you some bad news and then you get to beat the shit out of it. Yeah, you get to like let out a primal scream. Yeah. Like you're hitting, it's very, very convincing sort of fake flesh and fiberglass construction feels all the, all the world, like you're smashing just a horrible person in the face.

Yep. But it's not, it's a, it's a little, I don't think that's what they flash can the face. Yep. But it's not. It's a little trash-cam piece of shit. Yeah. This is going to be like the rubber robot version of the chat bot, isn't it, on a website. Yeah, sort of. This device may help improve social interactions as we move towards a world with increasingly digital communications. I don't think it will. While the quick text message apology is a fast and easy way for friends to let us know they

are going to be late for a planned meetup, it is often missing the human element that would accompany an explanation face to face, or even over the phone, it is likely to be more upsetting when we are not able to perceive the emotional weight behind our friends regret at making us wait. I am now imagining a whole legion of people with one of these in their home that breaks up with you? On behalf of your girlfriend or perhaps delivers the tinder message that says, I don't think this is working. I don't think we should see each other anymore. Let's, let's not.

Yeah, as soon as you see this horrible, this uh, Dildo-looking piece of shit saunter into your own, you know, shit's fucked. Imagine, imagine the different world we could have had in World War II, if dear Johns were delivered by little, uh, little automatons. I sense you're angry. Don't be angry. Blam, blam! Blam! Now, researchers at the university the university the built a handheld robot, they called Omoi,

which was equipped with a movable weight actuated by mechanical components inside its body. Is there any explanation as to what Omoy might stand for, Ben? Not that I can see in there, no. Hmm. By shifting the internal weight, the robot could express simulated emotions. The robot was deployed as a mediator for reading text messages. A text with unwelcome or frustrating news could be followed by an exhortation by Omoi to not get upset or even sympathy for the user. With the medium of written digital communication, the lack of social feedback redirect...

What? The lack of written digital communication, the lack of social feedback redirect focused, what? The lack of social feedback... I think that should be redirects. Yeah. Redirects focus from the sender and onto the content of the message itself. Author Professor Fumahide Tanaka says, The mediator robot was designed so that it can express the user's anger and other

negative interpersonal motivations, such as thoughts of revenge, and instead fostered forgiveness. I've never wanted to like murder someone with a lead pipe because they're late for a meeting, but I think that might be a slight cultural difference between ourselves and the Japanese potentially. I'm not willing to make sweeping statements about the Japanese at this time on this podcast. That they... You can have whatever feelings you like about the Japanese and you can, you know, go on whatever diatribe you have about, you know, cultural differences between us, the Japanese,

but I will refrain at this point. Okay. The researchers tested 94 people with a message like, I'm late. The appointment slipped my thoom.. the the the the the the the thoom. thoom. the tho tho the tho the tho tho tho tho their th. tho tho tho tho tho tho thoes. thoes. thoes. their their p. thoes. thoes. thoes. That's thoes. That's thoom. That's thoom. That's their their their their their p. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. They. They. They's. I. They's. I. They's. I. They's the. I's thea. I's thea. I'm thea. I'm tea. I'm tea. They's thea. I've. I'm thea. I'm thea. They're thea. They're tested 94 people with a message like, I'm sorry I am late. The appointment slipped my mind. Can you wait another hour? Fuck you! The team found that O'Moy was able to reduce negative emotions.

The mediator robot can relay a frustrating message followed by giving its own opinion. What opinion do you have? When this speech is accompanied by the appropriate weight shifts, we saw that the user would perceive the intention of intention intention intention intention intention intention intention intention intention intention intention intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the intention the the the the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to thu, to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th........ I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, thu. I, thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. the. the. the. thea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea, the user would perceive the intention of the robot to help them calm down, Professor Tanaka says. What the fuck? The robot's body expression produced by weight shifts did not require any specific external components, such as arms or legs, which implied the internal weight movements could reduce our user's anger or other negative emotions without the use of rich body gestures or facial expressions. So its face doesn't change at all. Its arms don't change. It to to to to to to the to the the the to to the the their their their their their their to to to their their their to their their to their to to to to their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thu.f.f.f.f.f. teau.f.eau.f.f.eau.f.f.s.f.s.f.s. toe.f.s.s. toe. toe. their their their rich body gestures or facial expressions. So its face doesn't change at all. It basically- It basically-

It just flops around in your hand and goes, I'm sorry. Yeah, so this thing, as Theo indicated earlier, it looks like a dildo if the shaft of the synthetic penis had a hexagonal cross-section. Yeah, and it was built out of the stuff that they put your burrito bowl into at a Guzmany Gomez, I'd say. It's a very Guzmany Gomez, isn't it? What's the Guzmanest Gomez is we have?

I really like, I'm just reading on, okay, money training club.com. Japan is an oasis of creativity. Instant noodles, the bullet train, personal calculators, and compact discs are some of the Japanese inventions. Thank you, Japan. The pad. Their ingenuity also makes them pioneers in the development of humanoid robots. But perhaps there was never one as curious as Omoi. Blah, blah, blah, blah. According to the development team,

led by Professor Johe and Aguichi, this mediator robot modifies the receiver's anger. A study involving 94 people show that the effect of the Omoi robot suppressed negative feelings such as anger in 23% of cases. It's not that many. No, that number sucks, dude. Like, if that stops even one shooting. Yeah.

Oh, they don't have guns. Now, if they said like, uh, you know, this is an app on your phone, like an instant messaging app on your phone, and 20% of people are less angry when this happens, but as it is, you have to hold a robot in your hand that wiggles around and talks to you. You just notice you're getting a text message, you're like, oh, fuck, where's my fucking robot in. When the Android issued empathic messages, the user's drive for revenge was reduced in 22% of cases.

Well my friend was going to be an hour late and what I was going to do was throw his entire body into a wheat thresher. But now, might just, uh,, might just jack off. You got a one in five chance of not being put into a wood chip. Yeah. Yeah. Very cool. That's total. I'm going to cart this fucking bad dragon, Dildo-sized robot around all day just in

case, just in case I get sent an upsetting message. The images that were attached to the press release, like supplied by the university, one of them is just a photo of the robot itself, as we just described. The other is a wiki-house style simple line art diagram of someone using the robot. They're holding the robot, which has movement lines around it, indicating that it is moving. It's wiggling like a little worm. With a little speech bubble that says, don't be angry so much. I cannot tell you any message that would be more likely to have me hurling that robot

across the room. I can't see that you, Andrew, specifically would enjoy receiving a text message that's like, hey, I'm your wife and I am leaving you. I'm leaving you for the gardener or whatever. And then your phone kind of like shifts its weight around a little bit and like blinks at you. Because, do you don't be angry so much. Hey. You're fucking cricket bat that bad boy into the next neighborhood. Just, it's a, I love this, I love this idea.

You get a text message from someone saying, hey, I had to get the next train, so I'm going to be seven minutes late at the robots like, don't kill yourself. All right. I'll listen to you, Robert. However, if there were perhaps some kind of law pass that required all managers to have have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the the the their to have to have to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their some kind of law pass that required all managers to have to hold one of these to receive messages that say, hey, I'm going to be late for work, yeah, can't make it in today, ooh, don't be angry. Yeah, you call you, you call your landlord.

And be like, hey, TAP's been leaking for like a month now you're gonna say you're gonna fix that like two weeks ago you haven't really like if you come around and then his little robot goes to people are worth your time oh that's a good one yeah they are also a human being like you and then it flips up a little mirror which the landlord immediately starts pecking. Oh, being a landlord it should be a crime. Folks, have we got a second for you? That's right. It's moth fucking crime watch.

Please put down your weapon. You're a direct watch. It's moth fucking Crime Watch. My only feedback is that it could be longer. Could be longer. For anybody's reference who's wondering, that sound taken from the beautiful Paul Verhoeven Film, Robert Cop. That is exactly how long the ED209 shoots a boardroom executive for in the movie. It has not been extended in any way. What a movie. God.

Oh, it's beautiful. This story from WIVB. Sorry, breaking news, I do not have COVID. Oh, sorry, breaking news, folks. I'm sorry to come around in. No, breaking news, I do not have COVID. Again, you've failed your second PCR test. My eight-year-old daughter returned a positive COVID test last Friday. We have all been living in the same house because, call me crazy, we simply were not willing to isolate an eight-year-old alone

in a room for a week. You didn't want to send her away to your beach house? In your child you can't step away from in 30 seconds. Like, what do you feel like, some people are like, yeah, some people are like, so what are you going to do and you're like, live in a fucking house with my kids? Yeah. Daddy's gonna get COVID. But apparently not. So we were all just like, yeah, we were all like, I guess we're all getting COVID. So I went and did a PCR test the next day and I did not have COVID. And all of us have just been okay for a week.

We all went and got PCR tests this morning because as of tomorrow we will have done a one week of isolation. Are you saying it's been? One week since... Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And I just got the text in from Capital Pathology claiming that SARS,

COVID-2 RNA was. Scare quotes not detected. Makes it sound like it was detected, you know? Some people are just built different. I might just explain this a little bit for American listeners. A COVID test is where you go and get tested to see if you have COVID. Yep. And then, get this, if you have COVID, you're meant to stay away from other people. Yeah.

That may seem rude to you. Kind of letting down all your workers, colleagues, et cetera, by not showing up and kind of pulling your way to work. But it's okay because you'll get sick pay. Yeah. We're just sort of lazy like that. This feels mean now actually. I'd like to recant some of that.

But not all of it. Fucked up country country country country country country country country country country from that fucked up country. It's from WIVB News in New York. Argument over Milk leads EMT to find woman was shot. Now it's an interesting phrasing there, you might note. Yeah, it kind of... Construction sort of... It makes it sound like he was having an argument over milk and at some point during the argument he was like, wait a minute part of this argument requires me to inspect your arm. Hey wait a minute bullet hole through this. I mean you're honestly not far off. Um Niagara Falls police said a 7-11 store clerk hit Omen with a weapon

during an argument Monday morning. Now these first couple of sentences are not particularly funny, I'm not trying to make light of what happened there. Sounds like you are, but go on. The context for the rest of the story. Shortly before 4 a.m. police responded the store on Niagara Falls Boulevard. There they say the 32-year-old woman and her boyfriend had gotten the argument with the clerk over some milk they just purchased. According to the woman, the milk had been leaking when she left the store,

which led her to try returning it. During the subsequent interaction with the clerk, the alleged attack happened, police say. I think you should be able to return the milk. I would say yes. Your milk has been compromised. Yeah, but they... But you can't expect expect to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the th th th th th the th the th th th, the the thi the the thi the the thi the the thi the thi the the the, the milk the milk the thiolk. the milk the milk the milk the milk the milk the milk. the milk. the milk. the milk the milk the milk the milk the milk the milk the milk the milk the milk the milk the milk, the milk, the milk, the milk. the milk. the milk. the milk. the milk. the milk. the milk. the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiolk. thiolk. thiolk. thiolk. thiolk. thiolk. you can't expect to be refunded for the milk that has leaked. Just the fraction that you're returning. Yeah, the leaked milk is yours. All I want is to walk over to the fridge and get a different jug of milk and that's it. Well, apparently that 7-11 clerk did not have your assessment of the situation. He said, I would rather strike you with to to to to to the to to the milk to to to to the milk to to the milk to to the milk to the milk to to the milk the milk to be thua thua the milk the milk to be the milk to be to be the milk to be to be the milk the milk to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their not have your assessment of the situation. He said I would rather strike you

with a weapon. Yeah. While medical personnel arrived to treat a cut on her head, she complained of shoulder pain. It was then discovered that she had also been shot at some point. It's not clear when that happened. Oh, it's like when I found baby shit on my pants. Yeah, you were like, who knows? Could have happened any time. I guess that's a similar to that. So at some point, which they're very vague about timelines here. I don't know if they mean like at some point in that day, she had been shot, or if at some point in the history, she'd, in like recent history, she had been shot.

And they did not know. This woman had a surprise bullet wound. So, hmm. Like when we say she complained of shoulder pain. Yeah. That kind of like if someone said to me, I am suffering from shoulder pain. Yeah, I'd be like, yeah, you're in your 30s. You're gonna have everything pain. Yep, all the time. My pains. Oh, your back hurts? Yeah. Yeah, of'd be like, yeah, you're in your 30s. You're gonna have everything pain. Yep, all the time. My pains.

Oh, your back hurts? Yeah. Yeah, of course it does. You're 35. I'm so close. It feels like I've got a 32 caliber ACP round in my shoulder. Or get over it. Yeah.

Guys, I am so close to leaving my 30s. Where you go? You still look fucking incredible. That's true. I saw a photo of someone who's 40 today and... Awful. I've seen a few pictures recently of people who are like five to ten years younger than me. And I was like, damn, what the fuck happened? What have you

been through? You know? So I'm pretty excited to see what kind of ailments immediately before me, you know? You're a healthy man. You look at the body. I can't keep going. I ate so much ice cream last night. So much 11.30 p.m. ice cream. Not a fan. What would make a grown man, a whole ton of ice cream in 11.30. the th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to th. to to to th. th. I'm to be th. I've to be th. I've to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. much 1130 p.m. ice cream. Not a fan. What would make a grown man need a whole ton of ice cream at 11.30 p.m. at night? It's so hard to say. It's so hard to say. That's kind of my thing at the moment, right? Is that like, um, because you know how you get high and like it has some effects and one of them is like that you want to eat food? But not only only that that it that it that it that it that it th only only only only only only only only that it that it that it th th th the the the the the th the the the th th th th the th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I to th. I to to the. I to to to to the. I to to the. the. to the. the. the. the. the. the. them is like that you want to eat food. But not only that it makes you feel physically hungry but also that the act of eating, physically the action of eating, and the taste, all of it is better.

Just chewing and swallowing things. Yeah. That's all I want. You just sit there for 20 minutes, eating a packet of chips like you're a robot that was designed to do nothing but get chips from a bag into your mouth. So I'm a seasoned enough professional, right, that I will put off having my dinner until I'm high? Yeah, that's the smart play. Yeah, and then I eat my food and then I'm like, all right, I'm pretty full. But as the hours wear on, you know, you find yourself saying, hey, it's 1.30 a.m. I should go to bed, but first, I'm going to eat two large pieces of cake, you know?

Yeah, a little, little, I mean, otherwise, if your body's not digesting at night, it's just a waste. It hates to not be digesting. It will start eating parts of you. No, and I don't want that. I want to wake up exactly the same size as I went to bed, if not a little bigger. A friend of mine who probably smokes a shilloward more weed than I do. His absolutely insane move that I'm yet to try myself is to have a fridge stocked with snackable vegetables. So he's like, yeah, I had crazy munchies so I ate like three punnets of cherry tomatoes and a cucumber and I'm like that, is that good? Is that, like it's obviously not as satisfying.

I like the taste of a cherry tomato. I've got enough. I don't know, man. Like, I gotta say there are some things, some things I just don't fuck with as much when I'm high, some sensations. Yeah, and I feel like a cherry tomato might be a little scary, you know? You bite it, blam. It's like who's ready for that.

I mean, he's also also th also th also th also th also th also th also th also thi also thi also thi also thi's also thi's also thi's also thi's also thi's also thi's also to to to to to to to to to? I mean, he's also getting into like snow peas and sugar snaps. Oh, that's good. I would be down with that. I would be down with a big bag of sugar snap peas. I should try that. They're delicious. Sweet, great mouth feel. Straight out of the fridge, nice and crispy?

Yep. That's cold crispy. Yep, that's cold cold crispy. You got a good snap Crunchy, you know, you know, you know what I like Big bag of that frozen mixed berries select your raspberries your boys and berries The list goes on blackberries. That's probably all of them and And it's five star health rating apparently on the front of it. And you just shove those bad boys straight in your mouth. While they're still frozen? While they're still frozen? Absolutely while they're still frozen.

What's that texture like? You let them melt in your mouth before you. No, no, it is a little, I mean, it's very much a texture of frozen, frozen, frozen frozen frozen frozen frozen frozen frozen frozen frozen frozen frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, but to to little bedeviling after a while. Oh! The only time I've ever had news. Oh no, your wife has COVID. Yeah, I do not have COVID. My wife does not have COVID. My six-year-old daughter does not have COVID.

My eight-year-old daughter still has COVID. Yeah. That seems less like breaking news than... Yeah, the situation remains unchanged. Yeah, pretty much. This is the one thing that didn't happen. Duh. Yeah, what's the deal at this point? Do we have to just, uh...

That resets the clock, bro. Yeah. Hey, you're looking at a clock reset situation there. Yeah, it's another six days, motherfucker. Really? No, I think we don't actually have any rules anymore. I think they've got rid of rules. It sounds to me like if everybody else who is a close contact and living in the same house is returning negative results, then we just need to wait until she returns a negative result. Yeah, maybe she's just got COVID now.

I would probably get your information from whatever the ACT's health website is, instead of from the two Queenslanders you do a podcast with. Yeah, but they're all like, hey, you need to isolate for seven days from the date that you return a positive result. Yes. Which was last Friday, and which is less than seven days from today. Which you don't have to do an exit test anymore in Queensland at the very least you just get to go free on the sixth or seventh day Whichever it is it's uh?

Yeah, it kind of feels to me like we should just do our normal shit and maybe get her another test on Sunday or something, you know like three days days from now. I would check. I would check the ACT health website. That's where I would th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to th. th. th. to to to to to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. to. te. to. to. te. te. te. te. te. te. toda. th. th. th where I would go to find this information to make this decision. Like you said, I kind of feel like people don't care about the rules anymore. No one gives it shit at all. No. Yeah. Although, you've seen we got that Delta Cron now? Delta Cron? Yeah. I think it's, the UK has got Delta Cron. What is this a cron. What? No? Huh? Huh? Huh? What? Huh? Don't, anyway. Now, I sort of timed the structure of this episode kind of wrong. Uh-huh. Because it means that the last segment is the most boring segment of all of our segments. And I'm kind of a firm believer of, you know, you always want to go out on something that leaves a lingering good memory.

But hey, it's in there. Should we just talk about something good instead? No, we're doing it. It's time for the shipping report. I'm etching for another edition of the shipping report. This is of course the zero jokes, zero deaths segment, where we go through, I'm not going to call them highlights, but a selection of the maritime disasters in international shipping from the week. Here we go.

A curated selection. The general cargo ship, Capitan Shiriagan, carrying a cargo of corn, ran aground in the Dardanelles. That's free corn. That's free corn. You can salvage that corn. Yep, if you're if you're around and you got a basket, yeah it's a baritime law. If you have a boat in a basket would be my suggestion. If a, hold on Theo, does it still count as maritime law if the boat is a ground? But it's a ground in the water. Yes, it's still surrounded by water.

I don't think it falls under terrestrial law at that point. Still maritime law. Right, so it's more, it's like 10% dry, 90% of the jury is sailors. Yeah, 10% of the jury is sailors, sorry, land lovers, 90% of the jury is sailors. Okay. The all carrier Wugang Howyunn encountered engine issues south of Reunion, I believe it's pronounced while traveling to Tuberrao Brazil. Oh, my engine. Yep. The product tanker at all suffered steering failure while transiting the Bosphorus Strait. Well, I mean it's probably not going to be a problem. Yes, they don't call it the Bosphorus Meander. It's awfully close to a joke, Ben. You're absolutely right, but not funny, so it's fine.

The Cape Size Bolt Carrier Comanche, suffered engine failure in Placentia Bay, southwest of Newfoundland. The most disgusting place on it. It's full of nutrients. Two thoughts, neither of which are a joke. Good. Number one, Comanche, great song. That's not a joke. That's just a fact. The audio slave song? The what? The audio? Oh, I'm thinking of. No. I'm talking about the one that is sampled by a whole bunch of other things. Houston, jump on it. Oh, yeah, that's a great song. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. D-dinn-doh, da-dun-dun-dinnin-doh. Number two, what does cape size mean?

I believe that is of a specific size class for... Rounding one of the capes? Yeah. Let's find out. Cape-sized ships are the largest dry cargo ships. Oh, they have to go around the capes. They are too large to trans transit transit transit transit transit transit transit transit transit transit transit transit transit transit the the the capes. They are too large to transit the Suez Canal. Sorry boys we got a we got a shit in the bathtub situation. When you... Oh no. Okay. They're gonna leave that man to deal with the shit in the

bathtub that he did and his wife has just discovered. The situation is that he had a bath before recording. Yeah, yeah, his wife's just come in saying, what's the, hey, why'd you shit in the tub? Cape-sized ships are the largest dry cargo ships. They are too large to transit the Suez Canal or Panama Canal. And so have to pass either Cape, a Gullhas or Cape Horn to traverse between oceans. When the Suez Canal was deepened in 2009, it became possible for some cape-sized ships to transit the canal and so changed categories. Imagine just becoming a different category of ship despite having changed nothing about yourself.

You're right, that's absolutely crazy. Of course that's kind of assuming some sentience on the part of the ship. That is true. The container ship lost Meursk collided with the ferry Napoli's in the Alburne Sea. Bonk. Yep, little boop there. No one was injured, it turns out, which is good. The general cargo ship, Aila, carrying a cargo of scrap, the tapsi-s, the the the the the ship, the ship, the ship, the ship, the ship, the ship, the ship, the ship, thank, thank, thank, thank, thank, thank, thank, thank, thank, thank, thank, thank, and thank, and thanks, one was injured, it turns out which is good. The general cargo ship Aila carrying a cargo of scrap, capsized and then sank at Alexandria Anchorage in Egypt.

No big loss? No. It's just now it's just a slightly bigger collection of scrap I guess. I'm imagining being the person who many years from now like discovers that wreck, you know, gets in the hold and goes, oh. It's in an advanced state of decay. It's crazy, it's already turned to scrap. The container ship escape struck the stern of a birthed container ship, the birthed container ship, honey at Gdansk. Escape is like much more a rich guy's yacht kind of name. Yeah it is

isn't it? The cargo ship you know? And finally the last one I have here, the cruise ship Norwegian Escape ran aground while leaving Puerto Plata in the Dominican Republic. That is a more specific kind of escape. It is the Norwegian escape is where you throw your sweater at someone to cover their eyes and you'll run out of the room. Hey, no jokes, come on. Sorry, you're absolutely right. Get it together.

Folks, I believe that that is it for this episode. Theo is busy cleaning his own shit out of a bathtub while his wife shakes a rolling pin at him. his son looks on bewildered. If you are go and just talk to that girl and say you know what I would love to to take you out for like lunch or dinner sometime maybe go see a movie just hang out you know maybe there's an exhibition on maybe there's an exhibition on. Maybe there's... I'm not gonna tell fuck out of his life. Like, well, let me ask you a question. Do you think that his current tactic is gonna be one that's bound for success?

We don't know the circumstances. We don't know anything about it. Maybe this is just a tendentative crush, you know? Maybe he's not ready to date. Who knows? Anyway, uh, if you are the beautiful woman that Frank was interested in, give them a chance, you know? Give me a chance. you've got great taste in podcasts unless you're listening to one of the episodes that's just a train wreck, in which case, take a chance, you know? Well, we'll see. Folks, we love you very much. Much love to you from both Theo, who's had to go and clean up his big pile of turds, and Lucy, who is feeling very unwell. And we'll love too from me and Ben. You know?

Moah. Please subscribe to the show if you are interested in receiving two two-ucececececececececece- to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to just to to just to to to just to just to just to just to just to just much much much much much much much much much much much much much, uh uh uh uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, t, t, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, tocu, tocu, to, to, to, to, to, to, towah. Please subscribe to the show if you are interested in receiving two doses every week. Go to Patreon.com slash Boutavista. Get a big dose up here, you know? But if you're not, please don't. We don't want you to do anything that you're not comfortable with. No. That's it. We love you very much. And we will see you next time. Bye. you to be