Boonta Vista - EPISODE 245: Cube Is In The Heart (with Tom Walker)

Episode Date: April 21, 2022

Lucy, Theo, and Ben are joined by comedian, streamer, podcaster and circus strongman (the circus is his life) Tom Walker to discuss some collegiate American names and the latest and greatest in quantum entangled bed technology. *** Tickets for Tom's Melbourne Comedy Festival shows: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/javelin *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Buente Vista, episode 245. I am Ben and I am here at a lively house party where everyone is a personification of an Australian comedy podcast. Effortlessly cool, surprisingly knowledgeable and startlingly erotic, I am of course the podcast Buntavista. With me wearing a big stupid fucking hat, doing something I can only describe as Bogan face and giving a sympathetic platform to some right-wing shithead, it's the Batuda Advocate podcast. It's Lucy. Hi Lucy.

Oh, fuck off. Yeah, your real name's like Clancy. Something, I'm made up a country sounding there. Thatthat Sydney school where all the rapists go to. The one I went to. Not a not a rapist, great. But I did go to the school. Well, you went to the school, yeah. Yeah. But hey, you want to listen to my yarn?

You haven't been introduced yet. You've started with I went to clown college to undo all that work. that work. that work. that work that work. that work. that work that work. that work. that work. that work. that work. that work. that work. that work. the the the the the the the the the the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. to. to. to. with I went to the school for rapists. Well I also went to clown college to undo all that work so you know it's yeah multi-classing in Final Fantasy tactics you know. God damn it this. Do you want to start your little thing again? No no we're stuck with this now. Also with me chewing loudly directly into people's ears and constantly either forgetting or neglecting to the one thing that he's here to do even to to th to th th to th. to th. to th. th. th. to th. th. to the th. the to the tho the tho. tho. the tho. No tho. No, thi. No, thi. No, thi. the the the thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. toe. the. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the. the. th and constantly either forgetting or neglecting to do the one thing that he's here to do, even after widening the scope of what that one thing is to the point that it makes the name of the podcast no longer make any sense, it's Frido a Good Home. It's Theo. Hey, how you, how you doing?

How you're doing? Now, th Fredal Goodwin. I've never listened to Fred O'Connor. It's a great podcast. Yeah, but I'm sure it is. There are. You got Hinges. You got, you got Ben Russell. You got, uh...

Nope. No. You won for two there. You got, you got Henged. really bad if you mistook him for someone of the same race. Oh okay it doesn't matter there's a lot of Ben's in comedy but at least you didn't get Adam Leo. Oh Jesus this is. It used to be a lawyer you know he's quite smart. I can't remember which way it is but it's the is it someone tried to fight Ben Russell. Someone tried to fight Ben Russell because they thought they were Ben Russell or someone tried to fight Ben Russell for their thee because they thought he was Ben Jenkins

because they're both little guys called Ben who are kind of like, bleh. Occasionally have little moustaches. He is exactly like that. They're doing stuff down there, you know, they're scuttled around. great bins. Ben Russell does an incredible podcast called The Grub. The Grub. That is genuinely just... Maybe I got to get on that. I don't know. I mean, Frida Well, Free to a good home is lovely as well. I really like it because they are two genuinely funny people with a vaguely antagonistic friendship who are they carry the podcast based on the fact that they are both

extremely smart and funny people who have put just such little effort into making their podcast for the like, what, five years they've been doing it? Five? So, it's longer than that? Dude, the Friddle Good Home has been going for at least, I would almost say at least, I would almost say at least 10 years, I would want to say. They're almost up to a hundred episodes as well that's incredible with big breaks in the middle but yeah God damn

lastly but not leastly nude covered in an unidentifiable slime and grunting out hell's nastiest shit in the middle of the room it's big soft titty P&G it's our friend Tom Walker hey Tom what's up hey bud how you how you doing What's up? Hey, Bud. How are you doing? How are you? How are you? How are you? No, no, how are you?

How are you? Giving me the too much eye contact so I know that you've decided to be a good person, but clearly shutting off at the years. Like you've got more, you got more energy making sure that your smile is in your eyes than your brain is in your ears. Yeah, no, thank you so much for asking it's been a rough time. Yeah, no, I'm good. It sounds like it has been. But yeah, I've covered on all this slime, for starters. Yeah, yeah. So you have SARS-coCOV2, the novel coronavirus right now. Not so much, novel anymore, if you know.

Oh, you got that SARS-COV, Tom. You got it, Lucy. Yeah, this... How is it? Man, it's, um, let me tell you, the symptoms for me are mild, but the ramifications on the career are intense. So it's it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thous, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, tho. tho. tho where... Hey, I wouldn't worry about that. Melbourne Comedy Festival is what like Australia's fourth or fifth biggest comedy festival. Now that's where you're wrong Ben, it's Australia's first biggest.

Oh, yeah, comedy festival. For all intents and purposes, it's only comedy festival. Can't you just clear a couple of rows up the front? Now you'd hope... And promise not to you yell. It feels like on many nights that I was in fact doing that by simple virtue of not being popular. But, um, but even then it seems that I've, I've contracted the coronavirus and I would only spread it further with my, with my booming voice. Now, our listeners will be mad if we don't ask this, Tom. So, you know, you got yourself any of that rare diarrhea? That comes with the novel coronavirus. I got the shiny COVID variant

where I'm shitting my brains out every second of the day. You got a purple diarrhea. Yeah, rolling 2D10 on I'm getting a hundred and happily squirting into the bowl. No, I just got the fucking regular old symptoms of being, that genuinely the first moment, the day I took the rat test, the reason I took it was because I'd ordered a bar to me and I couldn't finish it and I was like something's wrong. Something seriously wrong here. This has never happened to anybody. Yeah, genuinely, it had crackling in it and stuff. It was good. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. toa. toa. toa. tooing. tooing. too. too. tooing. tooing. too tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi. thi. thi. tooing. to tooing has never happened to anybody. Yeah, genuinely. It had crackling in it and stuff. It was good.

Fuck. God damn. Yeah. Have you got your half a bar to me? I might have grown. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey, big winner. What a roll some dice?

Boy, boy. Thinking of a muto-compromised friend of yours that could really use a win. Hey, here's half a button me. You don't want to, you know I want to wait for my saliva to osmos up this litmus paper? Man, I was just thinking about, about the whole thing of you struggling with Crohn's disease, and I just want to make sure that you enjoy this beautiful sandwich. That I could give you something to enjoy tha the the the the the the the the the the thoom thoom the tho tho tho the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thu. tho. I thoom. I thoom. I thoom. thus, thus. thus. thus. tho. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, to to thu. I'm, to to thu. I thu, thu, the, the, th. I, to to to to th. I, to to to to to the. I, to to the. I, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea the thea thea the the thea thea thea. the the the the. the you something to enjoy on this gorgeous day. I was listening to your the free to a good home episode you were just on this morning. And I got to the end of it. I was like, well, we absolutely cannot have time on and then just do the same thing, which is quite rudely bully you about something that is genuinely shit that's happened to your week and then it just it kind of happened.

I mean what else you're going to ask me about you know it's all I've got to going on right for this week it's it's it's you know it's me lying around in bed getting better at video games but worse at thinking yeah yeah I just did a week of isolation not having had COVID, like I just, I was a close contact and... How close we talking, Ben. Yeah, what were you doing? Oh, pretty close. Internet? Hey, that's not your fucking business, right? That's between me, Jesus and my lovely lady friend. Oh, okay. But yeah, I didn't get it, but I lost my social skills immediately. What base? I'm not going to discuss that on this point. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just thi, I just thi, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was just, I'm just, I'm just, thi, thi, thi. thi. to thi. to thi. to to thi. to thi. to thi. thi. thi. What base? I'm not going to discuss that on this box.

I'm getting really into bases in my isolation, just so you guys know. You can boil all forms of human intimacy down to four levels. And you're going to have to aggregate some. Yeah. Second base sharing aspirations. Yeah. Third base, sharing trials and oral. Yeah. They're both on the same. That's first base. Yeah. So I guess if I had to put lock. Oh, God damn. Unfortunately, this is an audio media, but you just miss it out on saying, what of the worst things that there is. Speaking of the worst things that there is. Speaking of the worst things that there is.

Speaking of the worst things that there is, Americans and they're funny names. It's time for the Great American Hall of Name. Yay. It's the Great American Hall of Name. Do you think this segment's more stupid or less stupid than the segment? Do you think the segment's more stupid or less stupid than the segment that is just some numbers that we found preceded by the entire Polish national anthem? Like if you had to rank them.

I think it's less stupid than that. I think this is less stupid. This is some good, honest fun. I think it's more annoying because I think it's less stupid than that. I think this is less stupid. This is some good honest fun. I think this is more annoying because I think there's a bunch of people out there who are absolutely sick of it and that's funny to me. Yeah. It definitely lost its shine after like the first one, like maybe I think 90% of people would hear it the first time be like, I guess that's kind of funny. And then we're now at our, you know, 15th.

I think it's only getting funnier every time. Yeah. Starting to run out of silly kinds of names. Hey, good thing they're still making Americans, right? Last thing I checked, that wasn't illegal. The way things are going. Yeah, frowned upon though. This time I wanted to explore a different kind of name. Previously I've been sort of selecting college football teams from the south largely because you get a lot of fun cowboy sounding names there. But this time I'm I wanted the sheer bliss of American rich person names. So I have made my selection from the graduating classes of

Yale from 1925 through to 1954. Wow. And there is I think there's not even, usually I try and pad the other list out with the nice and obvious dick jokes I don't think there are any in this one so this is a better class of Great American Hall of Name. This one's a thinker. Here we go. Hastings Eels. Come on. The hell is spelling eels.

That is double E, double L, S. That's named like a Pokemon that looks like an eel. It's one where it's like three eels tied together. Uh-oh, an eels has appeared. Earl Crookshank. All right. Cool. Burns Charmers.

Hmm. Newble Pucket. Newble. Neubal. That is Ed E W. B. E. L. L. that is N-E-W-B-E-W-L, C Hammond Blatchford. Come on, come on. I gotta tell you about my new diet. These ones not...

Mr. Hammond Blatchford's raising his eyebrows at Theo right now. Gracious. Me? Get eating. Livingston G, St. George. Okay, we got an oops all last name situation there, gang. There are a lot of those. And a G just thrown into Guild the Lily.

In 1926 we invented the name John. Until then it was Holtz Smith Livingston. I will make a small confession here. So this list in most cases provided a middle initial and I have taken the liberty of either removing or keeping the middle initial whether I believe it made the name funnier or less funny. But that's what makes it art. Yes, that's, I'm modifying it in some way for copyright reasons. Winthrop Saltis.

Come on. But rich people are fucked up. They'll like make fun of someone called like McKayley and then name their son, Livingston. Yeah. I think that's fine. Winthrop Saltis sounds like someone who was part of magic. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I made th. th. I made th. I made th. I made th. I'm th. I'm th. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. I'm. Ithrop Salters sounds like someone who was part of Magic the Gathering before it became fun or a video or a game. Like it sounds like you would get a really bad card of them and they would cost four mana for a 2-1 body. All flavor text.

I'm sorry, I'm sick. That wasn't funny. God damn. This is my son, Northrop Grummum. He's a missile. Uh, Fordham Bixler. Okay. They're really just rolling the dice at this stage.

W. Gahor Dominic. I'm sure I don't think it was possible. Have you seen the new model? He's way gayer than the last year. Holy shit. Ram's Dalmatie. Ramsdale Gerni. I think I would say that if you drop something heavy on me. Winslow F. Hubbard. Yeah. Okay. Derek A. January. Come on. Wallace W. Kieselhorsed.

Wallace, Wallace, Wallace, Wallace, waltz. They took the second, they took the, they took the phrasing of it as a second name, just way too literally. Okay. Ah, Amblea Ligget. They took the phrasing of it as a second name, just way too literally. Okay. Ah, Ambler Ligget.

That's how a southern guy announces that he's going down on his wife. What? Can you use that in the sentence, please? Yeah, can you? I am the liggit, honey? I will have you recline on the forepost of bed, for I am bleakid on this toasty night. Can he say them?

They're in love. Can he say them? They're in love. Can't believe he landed that. Birdsy sniffing. Come on. Oh. Oh.

Ha'u-hoo'u. Hoop Root. Hope root. A simple look. I went to, I went to uni. Yep. Yep. Mimosa, Haughton's false. Mimosa? Mimosa? Yep.

They published two journal articles. I googled this name to make sure it was correct. Oh, Lord. Oh, that's great. I want to know what Mimosa's mom was like. This is like in 1925. I don't know if they had the Mimosa back then. Oh, okay.

That makes a lot more sense because otherwise it's naming a kid after a mixed drink, which isn't, it doesn't, it's they they they drink which doesn't seem... yeah. Styles burpy. That's what I'm... genuinely if a zoomer said that to me it would make me cry. Check out Stiles burpy. Hey man, your style's burpy. No it's not. I don't know. You're back to calling me Chuki. No, that of course is the kid who died and went to heaven. That's right. Morgan Brainer Jr.

Okay. I always got a laugh from Brainer. And you see it more often than you'd think, but less often than you'd like. You take a little junior on the end there? You make it magic. William Butts. Simple. Just good queen. Good queen fun. Bill Butts. Richard F. Edward Knob. Edward Knob. J. Edison Do little. Okay. Blanchard Gummo.

Blanchard Gummo. Is that what the fucking Harmony Korean movie was named after? Yeah, this guy, yeah. Okay. Harrison Preserved Smith, Jr. What? No, it's not. No.

It's what's written in the book. Oh, did you hear she's gone on a date with Harrison Preserved Smith Jr.? Oh my god, he's the oldest 22 year old I've ever seen. Of the Boston Preserved Smiths? French Waterman. Puh! Puh! That's what they called anyone who could make a girl squirt.

Oh, God damn. Okay. Mervin Danzig. Phrie. That's a little one for the Danzig fans out there. Yeah, just imagine. That's fun. Ah. Lacey Hoophius.

Tipton Blish. P. Pee Hurley Bogartus. Oh my God. Okay. Final stretch here, I got two left. Okay. Greely Sturdevant. Americans are walking around being named like people who are interfering with Willie Wonka's business. Oh, you're going to love the next one then. And finally we have Gentry C. Waldo.

This is my son Gentry. Oh my God. Imagine calling a little baby Gentry. It's just so good. What a beautiful country. That's a beautiful country. So I have an American friend that I went on like some tour with that I met in my travels. I still have her on Facebook as you do.

And she has the most American boyfriend and they have a baby and it's named Paul. And I think that's fucked up. I think it's fucked up to call your baby Paul. 2022 is way too late for Paul. Having a baby. You can't have a baby called Paul. That'd be like if you were, if your baby's called Paul, when if you hear it crying, you just kind of make eye contact with and do the like head slightly up gesture.

Oh yeah, okay, that's what Paul's got going on. Hey Paul's trying something new. That's awesome. My dad has a classic dad name. Bruce, which is just very funny to picture as a child. Yeah, little Bruce. Telling a Bruce to like stop doing something is just very funny. My American friend is called Zach Zucker. Oh, that's good.

Oh, that's good. Which is the crazy name. It's almost Saxucker which is nice. Yeah he uses that. Yeah. I love that segment but there's like a point halfway through where my brain just reaches semantic overload like when you're writing out lines on a board and they're just letters and syllables turning to mush. Yeah. And um... I can probably say something normal at that point, like a normal name. I'd be like John Smith. Yeah, like, hey, yeah, extremely, yeah, that would, like a, um, like offering a bowl of coffee beans to us.

Oh, you think I need like little refreshes to reset your brain. Yeah, back to it. For me, it feels as cumulative as reading like far side strips, you know when you open up, you crack a far side collection and the first two usually don't do it for you. But after eight or so of them, and also I'm 14, I'm rolling around often. Once your brain enters Larson's space and you can fully get into his mindset, you see Cow Tools and you just become riotously upset. That's the highest level of far side space.

It's so good. This is the fucking having a whole Wikipedia article dedicated to cow toys. What? This is this cartoon makes no sense. They had nothing else.to do about that. Nothing makes sense and you touch them and then you just dissolve away in a field of butterflies. Podcasts. They're nature's greatest natural resource and it's important that they're harvested sustainably.

Editing, production, fart sound effects. These are all important resources from our local ecosystems. That's why we're asking you to go to Patreon.com slash Wunta Vista and pledge five US dollars a month to help support the healthy growth of a homegrown podcast like Wintovista. In exchange you'll get an extra sustainably farmed episode every week, access to our discord and a naturally pristine, promo-free podcast feed. Thank you for helping look after one of nature's most precious resources.

Now I had probably about a good five minutes there from the end of that segment to come up with a segue into the next one, but I can't think of one. It's time for scam watch. Ben it's so impressive that you make what Andrew does look hard Oh, it is. He's sure we like to make fun of him. We call him the piece of shit behind his back. We undervalue everything he does, but he does. He adds a silky smoothness to the podcasting experience that that I know. Do you need it? I feel like you can just log on here and say, I don't feel like doing a segue. Yeah. You know, you can do that. It's punk. It's okay if you can see the strings if that puppet's still dancing. He never takes that option though.

Never. Never takes an easy way out. Okay, he does. The easy way out for him is to take a 30. It the the the the the the th. th. It th. It th. th. It th. It th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's to to to to to th. It's th. It's to to th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the to to to the to to to the to to to the to to to the to to to to the to to thi. the thi. thi. to thi 30-second sigh at the end of the sigh. He does. He'd be doing that. Oh my goodness. What did you say? Hmm. Yeah, there's a lot of times, like I listen to the podcast and a lot of times Andrews like size make me feel like I'm at the wrapping up end of a dinner party. Like he's just about to slap his leg and go, oh, oh. Better be getting out of here. Ready to rock and roll. I guess I am pretty sleepy. Now this is what I'm about to impart to you is something that I almost never do because of how my brain works. This was actually sent to us by a listener and I'm choosing to not ignore it. I did try and contact them to ask what their actual name is, but they didn't get back to me in time. So this was sent into us by Twitter user, Arithmetic Mean Joe Green.

I'm going to play some audio clips for you. Here we go. Hello and very welcome to the 9010 MateBet. You can have it. You can test it right. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. the to the 9010 midbed. You can have it. You can test it right now. It's available. The first virtual 9010 midbed is out and it is so cool to test this. You can install this virtual 9010 midbed in your own bed where you are sleeping every night. You can quantum entangle it with our 9010 cube, which is a quantum quantum processor and we will integrate the operating system of this 9010 MAD into your personal bed at home. So it sounds pretty cool. Right, straight up I'm seeing the word Medbed but I'm hearing meatbed. This man is Swiss you'll have to forgive him. Can we disembeguate like half

the words that he just said then? So what is the name of the product? It is the 9010 Medbed. 9010 Medbed? That's right. Now I don't know maybe I'm behind the times. Maybe I'm maybe I'm being keeping up with mattress technology in the fast pace that's traveling now, but my mattress does not have an operating system as far as I know. Well that's actually quite convenient because you don't need it to. This is a virtual quantum entanglement bed. Let me, I'll play the second clip here. Okay, okay, okay. This might clear things up a little bit for you. So your bed becomes a 90-10 midbed for eight hours. This test is completely for free and it's a full automatic service

so you can upload a photo of your bed. It will be automatically quantum entangled with a cube and it is working for eight hours. So if you want to lay down in your bed, you can do this and you feel first nothing. Yep, so does that... Yeah. You quantum entangle your bed with a cube?

Yeah. You just send a picture and then it's quantum entangled? That's right. Yeah, with the cube. With the cube, the cube is the med bed bed. Yes. Well, your bed becomes it's the quantum.. the quantum. the quantum. the quantum. the quantum. then then then then then then then thi quantum. thi quantum. thiant thiant thiante quantum. thiante quantum. thiomomomomomomomomomomomomome in thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiomomomom- thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toe. toe. toe. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. the. the. the. th.10 cubes, that's correct. The cube is the med bed. No, yes. Well, your bed becomes the med bed because of its quantum entanglement with the cube, yeah. Okay. I'll tell you, I'll play another clip. You guys are a little bit confused. I'm following. I don't know about you. I get it. I totally get it. So far so good, but I'm waiting for the catch. I get it and I get it. I get it and I get it and I get it and I get it and I get it and I get it and I get it and I get it and I get it and I get it and I get it and I get it and I get it and I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it., you can also think it or say it out loud.

And in this moment it installed automatically a full energetic bubble around your body. And you can feel this, you can feel the energy and you just think, okay, that's cool. And then you can think or say out loud, scan me or scan, or I want to scan, please check me out or whatever you think or say which is giving the made-bet the information that you want to to check your body a complete cell scan is starting and everything will be informed into the 9010 made bed and the 9010 made bed in cooperation with your consciousness is sending quantum energy and frequencies directly into the points in your body where you need to heal yourself.

So it's super important to understand that we only quantum entangle our technology with your bed and the energy and the frequencies are created through yourself, through your subconsciousness and your consciousness into your body and you can feel and it is such an amazing experience. Is he talking about like no touch or orgasm? This is a non-sexual experience although I guess because it's generated by your conscious or your subconscious that may be to being what you think you could go that right? I think it's just because his voice is so sexy that you're reading eroticism. I think there are points there where he has the unshakable European nature,

if it sounds like he's talking about a particularly sex discotheque, when he's talking about how it's really cool and you can feel it all in your body. He's either talking about a disco or a long board. Or a nudist resort. It's actually very natural. It's you'll feel it immediately. This is very good for your body. I have one more audio clip from this gentleman to play for you.

And hopefully there's any other concerns you might have will be alleviated here. And to deactivate the made bed, you just need to stand up. In this moment when you go out of the bed, it's offline. You can go to to toilet or drink a little bit of water. Then you can go back into your bed and reactivate it in the time frame of eight hours. And you can say 90-10 midbed, and then, boof! You can feel it. It's immediately there and it's going there. The healing session with yourself is going on again. Okay. That's a relief. I was worried like he's not watching me Pierce, that's good. Yeah, they switch it off for piss, which is nice to them. You know, that's obviously just kind of like the elevator pitch for the 90 Ted meatbed. So I thought I would take some of the dot points from their website to maybe explain it to you a little more more. the the the the the the to the the to to the to the the the to the the to the the tho to to tho the tho to tho to to tho to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me to me to me. to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their the. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome thea thea thea thea thea thea thea the thea the the the the the thea toea toea toea to toea take some of the dot points from their website to maybe explain it to you a little more clearly.

The method of 9010 quantum entanglement and the function of the 9010 medbed have been tested and confirmed with scientific methods in a laboratory. Which ones? Enjoy your first 90 10 bed bed session now and use the probablythe most powerful What? Oh, it's definitely true. Use the probably most powerful self-healing technology of our time. I like the word probably. Yeah. It's just probably the most powerful one. During a scan down to the cell nucleus level the medbed determines exactly the frequencies as well as the amount of quantum energy you need for the best possible self-healing, both is then teleported into your body.

Why do I need quantum energy? Ah, why, why, yeah, why, you know, you got those aches? Those pains? When's the quantum energy coming from the cube? Well, actually, no, they're coming from your your the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the believe the cube. Well, actually no, they're coming from your subconscious, but they're energized by the cube, I think. What is quantum energy? Do I need that? Good question. Talk to your 9010 med-bed as if you were talking to a human being. It understands all language of the world, even every dialect, because it is connected

to your conscious and subconscious mind. That answers a lot of my question. The 9010 cube, developed by 9010, is a quantum processor that works in the quantum field via its own quantum language. Okay. There it has access to infinite intelligence and unlimited potential. What's in the cube? Oh I am actually going to wait until the very end of this to tell you what's in the cube and I frankly cannot wait. Is that on page this? to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to to to the to the to to the their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the. the. the. the. that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thean. thean. tean. tean. tean. tean. tean. te. te. te. te. te.. Is that on page 5 of this? Yes, yeah very much so. Our latest operating system makes it possible to focus a literally unlimited number of QEPs on a single atom. But that doesn't sound good.

Quantum energy pPs. You just lie down and you say 90-10 bed and then suddenly you're being QEPPed on all night. Oh my God. Grow up. Okay, this is. 9010 bed. I would quantum energy. Yes.

the energy. Souton. Suf who play. Phrush, Your 9010 Medbed analyzes your body's reactions and communicates continuously with your subconscious. What is not good for you does not happen. But... Yeah. I mean, that sounds good. I like that. Oh, then you're going to love the next couple, too. The 9010 Medbed in its operating system, the 9010 Medbed OS, are ultra-protected and securely stored in our quantum network. Neither an environmental disaster nor a global power blackout can harm our technology.

Wait, this almost sounds too good to be true, and I sure am glad that it's true. And that those scientists and laboratories have helped out by making sure it's probably the most effective self-healing. What's self-healing? Can we just also... Is that like... They are, I think, using a little bit of a choice wording here to make sure they're not legally culpable for anything that happens? Because it's you that heals. You are healing you, but the quantum is helping you do that. Okay. Now Theo, you're going to like the the the the the the the next the the next the the next the the the the next the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most effective. the most effective the most effective the most effective the most effective the most effective the most effective the most effective the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the the the most the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. theat. the. the. theat. the most effective. the. the most effective. the most the most the most the most it's you that heals. You are healing you, but the quantum is helping you do that. Okay. Now, Theo, you're gonna like this next one a little bit. I want you to think about this.

This one's a little thinker. Our unique and unrivaled instantivation technology enables the teleportation of energy and frequencies into your body in 0. There is no time delay between the thought and the important test. Oh, straight away. Yeah. Wow. It's an instantaneous energy transfer across any distance. It's pretty cool, right? I'm glad they didn't say zero.

Oh, they went 0.00. They went 0.00 because that's, um, that's giving me just a little bit more reassurance. Yeah. It's actually like 0.01, but we say zero seconds. The operating system of the 9010 Medbed is protected against any manipulation. Neither hackers nor negative energies have access to our quantum network. Oh good, I've been wanting to have a witch-free OS for a while now. I just don't want any toxic people in my OS, so that's great. They can't get in there. Great. Now they're selling you on the security features, but like, I don't.. I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I th, I th, I th, I th, I the, I the, I the, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, like, like, like, like, like, I don't the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their, their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. the. theat, theat, their, their, their, their, their, their, thexic people in my OS, so that's great. They can't get in there.

Great. Now they're selling you on the security features, but like I don't know if they're really stressing enough the other things that can do. So here's a good example. Recode your DNA and stop your ancestors old programs. Oh, okay. I don't want to do that. Is there an option to not record their their their their their their their their tha tha thoe thoe thoe thoe thoe thoe thoe thoe thoe thoe thoe thoe to to to to thoeateateateate. the. thoanoanoanoanoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. theaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseasease. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. thae. thooooooooooooo. t. thaeateateateateate. thae. thae. t to do that. Is there an option to not record my DNA? Because I think I think they got it right. No DNA recoding is mandatory. Okay. Maybe this is a little too fuzzy for you guys this point. It's not numbers heavy enough.

I think this will satisfy you. With an energy output of 12 million QEPPs, the tourist field would have a radius of over 100 kilometers. The protection shield function concentrates this strong energy on your body and blocks it from others. Thank God. But I'm using the bed and I'm helped by the cube, which isn't near me, and the cube and the cube makes me lovely and also it, my subconscious, can use it to change me and that seems to be assuming a lot of my subconscious that I want to help myself deep down.

Well that's it, that's a dark thing to think. Well, yeah, I don't know if the med bed can fix that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's a bad way to find out because I feel like I'm going to awaken from my slumber transformed into a bug. Like that one book. What book is that? Ants life a novelization. Did you say ants life? Mixed them up. I hope no one would notice. What's that insect animated film that came out at it? You ever noticed that's a big ant from ants looks like Camail Nanjiani now? Is it the shape of his jaw? Yeah he's got like a really really over-exaggerated Chad jaw like like Camail. And the little guy kind of looks like Thomas Middleditch. I've one more feature here that I think might actually address your concerns, Tom.

The time travel function of the 9010 Medbed OS allows you to mentally travel to your past, identify the causes of trauma there, and beam quantum energy and appropriate frequencies into these traumas for resolution. I don't want to do that. Do I want to travel back in time to my trauma time? Can I do it to travel back in time to my trauma time? Can I do it for other people's traumas? Can I do it to dinosaurs? Self-healing only. Yeah, I want to fix dinosaur breakups. Or you can't.

This is just you. My crap. Now, as they alluded to, this is based on published research done in, you know, laboratories and stuff, which is technically true, to tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, I, I, I, I, I, I, I to thi, I to to to to to to to to to to, I to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I I to to, I to to to to to to to to to the, the, the, the, to the. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and stuff, which is technically true. There is one published article called The Effect of 9010 Quantum Entanglement on Regeneration of Cultured Connective Tissue fibroblasts that was published in the Biomedical Journal of Scientific and Technical Research, written by Peter Darch of the Private Research Company, Darch Scientific. GmbH. Mb-H, yeah. Now this is exciting. I was giving thismbH, GmbH. Yeah. Now this is exciting. I was giving this a little browse.

Checking out the abstract, reading the conclusions, etc. Now, well, there's some amazing, startling finds in there about doing this from, they had, the cube was in Mexico, the laboratory was in Germany, and they got some pretty interesting results. Now, that's a Wandecube. Now, I tried to ascertain, uh, whether this was like one of those real, um, scientific journals or one of the fake ones and I found two things when looking into this. If you search Twitter

for the name of the journal, every single tweet about it is an academic who does not work in biomedical science sharing the screenshot with cry laugh emoes for being asked to write articles for them, which I thought was a good sign. There's also a thread on Research Gate where people are asking whether or not it's a scam. And everyone in there is like, yep, it's a predatory journal. They, you know, they email you saying, hey, do you have any articles you want to publish? And then they charge you to publish it, and they just get money from doing that. It's a pretty simple scam. One guy in there said, I had similar request for articles. I sent them one article and they asked for $600.

When I said I am not paying, they went down to $99. It's doing good business people. The other thing I found was that there is a 2019 thread from a biology researcher named Stefan Lushnig, who just used one of those like machine-generated, text-generator things to come up with a couple of fake papers and then just submitted them and they immediately got published. So it's not a real journal. And the Peter Darch who did that research into the efficacy of the MedBed and the Cube, he, we actually have a bit of a connection with him because one of his other papers that he published last year was titled, Tesla Oscillator, investigation on its beneficial

cell effects, he published that in the Japan Journal of Medicine in 2021, in which he proved the efficacy of our old friend from episode 190, Bean Bath and from beyond, the Vasa Matrix AG. Oh, wow. Wow, that was, that's another Swiss invention. It was, but different group of... Of scam artists, yeah. Yeah.

And now this guy is rocking quite a smart look as well. He's got a chin-strap beard. But no mustache. That's interesting. That's a powerful look. That's an old Dutch, I believe is that style of beard. Yeah. Official researcher of the show, Peter Darch. I feel like they... OK, th, Ben, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's, that's a that's a that's a that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a tha. That's an that's a that's an that's a that's an that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's of beard. Yeah. Official researcher of the show, Peter Darch. I feel like they... Okay, no old Darch look, Ben.

All of that, Ben, just made me feel like I was reading Dune. But there's not even a big worm as a lovely payoff. Yeah. But the writing's a bit better as well. There is a cube. Did you? Man, I did, I did... We did Dune as a study in high school, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and did, um, There's a cube, yeah. I start, we did Dune as a study in high school, and I remember someone, someone bringing up the fact that apparently, Frank Herbert has gone on record as saying that Dune is written with libidinal rhythms in mind.

It's supposed to echo the, the rise and fall of sex. And... Oh, I don't, I don't know there's no point in sex where I'm like kind of dryly explaining the mechanics of the bed for two to three hours mid coitus it's possibly the least sexy book ever written yeah what an absurd claim strange man you're Frank Herbert strange man you Frank Herbert now you might at this stage have some questions, but luckily, these questions are answered

in their frequently asked questions. Okay. Your first most burning question, obviously is, can I give my parents a med bed as a gift? Obviously. And unfortunately, the answer is no. You can't? No. And let me explain. With five paragraphs. Red balloon voucher it is again, I guess. The question we've been asked

numerous times, we fully feel for every person who wants to know because we can absolutely understand that you want to do something good for loved ones. However, there is an important aspect to consider here, the 90-10 Medbed is connected to the you want to do something good for loved ones. However, there is an important aspect to consider here. The 90-10 medbed is connected to the consciousness of the person who places the order. This is absolutely necessary to prevent abuse and to protect free will. What? This means that you cannot give the med bed bed to others as a gift. If you own a med bed bed, it will serve you for life, night after night or whenever

you need it. However, you cannot pass it on, bequeath it, or give it away at any time. What the fucks? I have to have my med bed. They've got a DRM on a med, on the med bed? That's right, at point of purchase, DRM on your quantum entangled, invisible bed. I can't even throw it away. No, it's like the mask rules you try and throw it. It just comes back to you. You can not turn it on, Lucy, but that'll be you just losing money, you know, as long as you have any men there. You might have to get it.

You might as well get a today. Might have it read just gadica. You know, that'd be fun. Bit of a film buff joke, if anyone has a look in there. You guys heard of Gattuck. Check this out and you take, rip your shirt. Your, hmm, hmm, your Medbed and you belong together. However, family members and friends with whom you share your home or who come to visit can use the med bed for themselves. You can install it on up to three beds, even a couch or other lounging furniture. Anyone who lies down in a bed on which you have installed the med bed can activate and use it for themselves by saying, 90-10 med bed bed.

And how bad is your marriage if you're installing the Medbed on the couch in the family room as well as your bed you share with your wife? Installing on the hammock that's out on the patio. Looks like I'm in the dog house again. 9010 Medbed, heal my marriage. Activate dog house protocol. Now Ben, I have to ask, do you have the companion question? Can I activate the med bed for another person?

Well, this actually gets answered in this answer here. Oh, okay. I would like to, you finish that one off, and I would like to read a couple of the little specifics from this separate answer because, uh, it may relate to some of us here. Apart from that you can activate the med bed bed for other people. For example, for a small child or an elderly person in need of care, you can do this by simply standing in front of the bed on which the bed bed is installed and which the infant or care recipient is lying and saying, for example10 med bed for my son Tom. Or 9010 bed bed for my mother.

Oh oh you haven't got to go on then from my wife the beach. You can then have the bed bea performed the scared or address any problems. Do this as if you were talking to another person. So you could say, Tom has been snacking too much and his tubby hurts. No. Yep. You're just standing there. Shaming your son to an empty room. Yeah.

It is. It is. It works just as straightforward as it does for yourself. It is, yes, I have not inserted that in. It works just as straightforward as it does for yourself. The medbed will carry out your commands and send quantum energy and frequencies to the person in the bed. The person will accept or reject the quantum energy and frequencies in accordance with his slash her consciousness.

This you cannot influence. Okay. In short, your loved ones will have to order the 90-10 med bed bed themselves. However, you can give them a vouch the them a the the vouch the vouch the vouch the vouch the vouch the vouch the vouch the vouch the vouch the vouch the vouch their their their their their their will have to order the 9010 med bed themselves. However, you can give them a voucher and help them with the order. Older people in particular often find this procedure difficult. It's just like they always say, you can lead a horse to 9010 med bed, but you can't make it quantumly entangle and prove its DNA. That's right, yes. I'm saying this. Now, this sounds a little shaky.

They're making some pretty crazy claims here, but we're actually going to be able to test this one live on the podcast, because they offer, so this is a trial we're talking about here. For their offering, you can have eight hours where you send them a photo of your bed and they'll turn it into a 90-10 med bed. But they also offer another even simpler trial that is instantaneous. Now Tom, I ask you in advance to prepare a vessel of drinking water. Yes, I have that here. And to have your smartphone. Now I'm going to need you to take a photo of that 600-mil pump bottle that has a fifth of a bottle of water in it. I was thirsty during recording. Not a crime? And then I'm going to need you to send that photo to the URL that I have given you. Now this will

allow the patented quantum entanglement technology to zero in on your water and charge it with quantum energies and then you can drink it and tell us if you experience the difference. Like straight away? Yeah, it's instantaneous. It's literally instantaneous is their claim. Now, just to make sure that you know what you're about to experience, let me tell you what it's going to do. They will energize your water glass, or 600 mil pump bottle. In other words, we refine one of your water glasses with pure quantum energy in a strength of 1,000 QE PPs. In addition, we add the 9010 frequencies spring water, clearance, and vitamins and minerals, as

well as the frequency affirmations I am love and I am light. Through the 9010 technology, we establish a connection between your chosen water glass and one of our 9010 cubes for the purpose of teleportation. This connection establishes itself immediately and in full strength upon activation. This means the matter of your water glass is permanently quantum physically refined and releases the energy which it stores from now on to the water or any other filled beverage. Tom, have you sent your photo? I have sent my photo. Files are uploaded. Can you please drink from your 600-mil pump water bottle that has been quantum entangled

by a cube? Oh, God damn it. Um, wow. I'm cured. Yep. Do you longer have the novel coronavirus? Oh no, I was talking about some other stuff. Oh, okay. That's a shame. Uh. I know I was on the fence about it before, but now actually I'm feeling pretty good. I think that water is working.

Ha ha ha! It sounds like you've been trans-m Tom, transmuted by the power of the cube. Did you do that while you're in the toilet? Um... Did you deliberately go to the toilet so you could do that? No! Yeah, agreed to disagree. You are probably at this point convinced that it is time to buy the 910 mad bed. And you can.

You can buy it from their website. Obviously delivery is instantaneous because you just send them three photos of your bed and it will only cost you 2,358 euro. Oh my god euro! Which is 3,400 Australian dollars. Fuck what a bargain. Uh-huh. Now that obviously in and of itself is a bargain, but they also have a special deal going at the moment. Oh, okay. Now we're talking. Now, we're talking. Where? With every purchase of the 90-10 med bed bed, you can also, then, then, thirty, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, tho, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho-e tho-eou-eou-eou-eou-eou-eou-eou-eou-eou-eou-eou-eou-eou th, th, th, th, the moment. Oh, okay. Now we're talking. Now we're talking. With every purchase of the 9010 med bed, you can also then purchase the 9010 virtual cube for the reduced price of 1,235 euro. I thought I was connected to the cube. Why do I buy the cube?

No, this is different. This is a different cube. So your, the bed is connected to a physical cube and the virtual cube is also connected to a physical cube. We haven't gotten to the cube yet. But let me tell you about the virtual cube. Ben, I can't learn about two cubes in one day. Well you've got fucking have to. Make some space in that not only yours. Forget a precious childhood memory so that you got two cubes. My mother doesn't have a first name anymore. Let's go. Who needs it? It's mom or Mrs. Walker. The 9010 virtual cube gives you various advantages compared to the 3D cube. For the quantum physical treatment of objects, it offers you more possibilities, more freedom and lets you work more precisely.

You simply load the photos of the objects you want to treat into a folder that 9010 is prepared for you. With the virtual cube, you yourself determine the energy strength with which the object selected are treated. You can start with 450 QEPs and increase the energy strength step by step. If the energy is too strong for you, you can lower its output or interrupt it completely. Frequencies can be added, exchanged, or deleted. Whether it's a pair of ear studs or a radio mast,

with the virtual cube, you are completely free in the quantum physical refinement of objects, and not limited to a maximum burning space. Yeah. Okay, that's pretty cool but it's time to get down to the nitty-gritty. Does it have to be my radio mast? No it can be any ones and I think they're actually reading between the lines here from what I've seen about radio masts. They're using it to stop the negative effects of radio waves like 5G and such. Yeah. That's awesome.

Now this of course they all link back to a physical to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to the the to to the the to the to to the the to the the to the the the the to the to the the to to to to to be to the the the the thi- to be to be to be to be to be my to be my to be my to be my the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Now, this, of course, they all link back to a physical cube, the 3D cube, to which they referred. And this is the 9010 cube, all caps. Now, let me explain what the cube is to you. Because the cube is really the heart of the 9010 infrastructure. The cube is the heart? The cube is the heart. That's right.

Everything goes back to the cube. The 9010 cube consists of a holder, PPs. The multiplication effects of the 12 modules is 450 QE PPs. Six of the modules are fixed with two magnets on the upper level of the cube and six on the lower level. The position pole of the cube is at the top, the negative pole is at the bottom, an energy field establishes between the poles, its energy flows from minus to plus from bottom to top. So what this is is a, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I, the, I, I, I, the, the, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, from bottom to top. So, what this is, is it is a, I think about 40 centimeter by 40 centimeter by 40 centimeter cube-ish object. It's a C-shaped section of Perspex with 12 magnets. And that's what powers the bed, that's what powers the virtual cube.

It's two, it's basically, you know those magnetic knife holders? Yeah. It's six of those, and then six more of those. That's powering my med bed. And that's powering your med bed and your virtual cube, that's right. I love that. You've discovered the secrets of the cube. How do you feel? I'm looking at that picture. I'm looking at that picture. Yeah, it's kind of sad, isn't it? They couldn't have put that in like a bench or something? I think

it's next to someone's bed is the impression. Tom, I'm just going might help you understand the cube a little. You seem somewhat confused by the cube. I want to push back on the idea that I'm confused by the cube. Everyone else seems to be baffing it. I feel like I'm understanding the cube pretty well. It's just the, oh God, that is a grim looking photo. It's a grim looking photo. It looks really bad. It looks like it's, that looks like I made it. There's just enough little storytelling elements like the scrape on the wall and the bare wood of the table. I'm very confused as what just happened here. So, Theo, did you just delete from the document the image of the cube and replace

it with the word pain? Okay, so that is the literal thing that happened. What I meant to do was I thought that I was on my Windows computer which is normal and I hit Windows and I started typing in paint. that the point where I realized that that wasn't doing anything. I managed to write the word pain into the document where the point where I realized that that wasn't doing anything, I managed to write the word pain into the document where the 90-10 cube. What are you using paint on net for? What do you have to do?

I was going to paste it in it to make, so I could make the picture bigger so I can look at it better. This guy wants to look at the cube more. I want to look the cube more. In paint.net. I, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, the the the the the th, I, I the the the th. I the the the the the the the the the to, I, I've the the the the the the the the the to make, I, I, I, I, I, to make, to make, to make, to make, the to make, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th... It, th. It, the, the, the, than, than, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, the the the thin, the the than, th look at the cube more. I want to look the cube more. In paint dot net. You know what happened to just open it up from browser just now I've got to use, I've got to use Gimp. Hey, motherfucker, here's a widget for you. Lean forward. Jesus Christ, these eggheads. Roast this nerd. I don't know shit about body.

I have one thing more to read you and it's only one sentence long. This is from the legal disclaimer for the 9010 med bed. The 9010 med bed is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. It was not developed for these purposes. What's that for? Wow. It's it for? Well it's quantum it's quantum isn't it? Yeah it's for costing 2,358 euro. That's so much money. Scam rating. I did check to see whether they would charge you shipping.

They don't. No, they give you like a drop-off thing. That would be fun after the cube holder. For the cube, oh you're paying, you're paying and shipping for that bad boy. I didn't find the order page for the cube. That's on their, they have like four websites. The same website they sell the cube on, they sell a little quantum quantum, the quantum, that protects you from all sorts of eels. And also a credit card sized quantum card that will protect you for life. Which is pretty cool. I think we can all agree.

Now, scam rating for this one. Tom, I know you are familiar with our famous scam cube. Interesting. It's interesting that it's come to that. That's parallel there. So our three axes are ingenuity. Yeah. Charging someone for something that literally does not exist and there's no way to measure whether it exists. It's bold. With no production costs, you've got to get saved, they're keeping their overhead so low that even a single sale, like that's huge. You're avoiding legal costs. You know, like.

They got tired of selling their bullshit cube, which probably cost them nothing to make, and they went, how can we do this with even less overhead? Oh, we'll just tell them that the cube we keep at our house is working in your house. That's incredible. Yeah, I respect them a 10. That's good. I'm putting a 10 on that too. I'm giving them an 8 for this only because we had the one that of the, that they did the pantomime of being a genie. And pulled it off and to me I feel like they haven't quite put their back into it as hard as that. It does seem lazy. Also is it? Yeah.

The company's like a 10-person team. I like that it's lazy. I like that they've made no effort to explain what it does. They've just written some bullshit and they're just fine with it. They haven't really backed it up with anything. What they have put a lot of effort into is 3D animation. Oh, yeah. They have a very, like, early 2000's 3D renderings of a bed of energy forming over a regular band. I was about to say, if that's a 3D animation of the cube, that's not, the blender starts with one of those. You get one of them for free. Yeah. The first YouTube tutorial, you can probably

figure out how to spin that cube relatively easily, yeah. They're making a donut in there. Now they're making some complex shapes in there because I trimmed a lot of stuff out of this, would you believe it? This is all based on sacred geometry. So there's a lot of shapes and such in there. So they put a lot of effort into that. Bullseiness? Uh, bullsiness? Not, not, not very. There's nothing at stake. Middling, yeah. Either they get your money or they don't. It'd be ballsier if they were calling their shot on the specific diseases they could

prevent and on what days. Yeah. Really opening themselves up for legal action. Yeah. They're saying safe. Like, they're not being very bullsey they're like this doesn't cure anything there's no product that you can get mad about I I also have the outside feeling that they might actually believe that it works I think they do I spend a lot of time thinking about that and I am pretty convinced

that they believe that it's real that's a new access for a scam watch is believing that believingthey believe that it's real. That's a new access for a scam watch. It's believing that, believing in your product. Yeah, so now it's a it's a scam tetar act. It's got a fourth access to it now. And then the the what's our third criteria? Victiminess. Victim yeah how how... Like who's buying? Who's buying it? Is it ripping off billionaires or is it ripping off nonna? It's not. It's ripping off noner. I watched some very sad videos today. Their YouTube channel has literally hundreds of testimonials.

And it's like sad old ladies. And they're like, oh, for once, I was able to get out of bed without chronic pain. I was going to say they really mentioned like old people in that. They're like, oh you can't buy it for your mom. You'll have to give her a voucher and then help her out on the website. Yeah, she's got to buy it. Like there was, I kept trying to sort of find funny testimonial videos, you know, to laugh. to laugh at these their their their their the first time in several years because the bed is working and I'm like

oh boy. I'm sold. That's really sad. They spent, you know, fucking so much money on this. So we're rating that somewhere near the bottom middle, uh, lower corner of the scam cube, and you can visualize that in your own mind. Now Tom, what would you like to plug? I believe that you are doing some shows at the Melbourne Comedy Festival this very weekend. I am, I'm back baby. I'm adding an extra show on the 23rd of April at 6 p.m. at Trade's Hall, because the Saturday show is sold out and the Sunday show is selling fast. So this will be one of three last chances to see Javelin in Melbourne and then I'm taking it up to Brisbane and I'll be doing

to be doing shows in Sydney's too but I haven't announced them yet. But yeah, very, I'm very excited. But main thing is if you're in Melbourne, please come to the extra show because I if you don't, I'll be humiliated. it'll be very embarrassing. Please don't humiliate him. Or at the very least, if you are there, what's that thing they do at Melbourne Comedy Festival when you sell out? They cross your name out. Yeah, they put like a little red sticker next to you that says sold out. Could you, if you, if you, if you'd take to thee they want them to... Well, success is about projecting the image of success, so I think you'd be 90% of the way there.

And when will you be in Brisbane for the Brisbane Comedy Festival? Well, Ben, I'd love to answer that. I believe your first date is May 10th. Yeah, and you know that because I'll be staying with. And also because that's when I'm I I I I I'm I I'm I'm I'm that's when I'm that's when I'm that's when I'm the the that's when I'm the that's when I'm the the that's when I'm the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. the the. the. tho thi the thi the. thi tho thi thi thi thi thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the. that's the. that's that's that's that's the. the. that's thei. the. thei. the. the. the. the. th's when I'm going. I'm very excited. That's also when I'm going. Yeah, we got a little true going, I think, actually. I'll be there. I'll be the guy up on stage. Oh, you'll be up front. Moving this way and that, darting around.

Oh, and the things I say, you'll never believe them. Well, thank you very much for joining thom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, get better. Yeah. That not catching COVID, you're weak bitch. Yeah, no, it's genuinely it sucks so bad that you got COVID. Anyway, thanks for joining us. Stay safe out there. Tom, any tips for our listeners? Yeah. Um, what you're gonna want to do is go to the go to your podcast feed and queue up another episode of Buntivista because the laughs don't stop honey. Bye.

Bye. you know, the today.