Boonta Vista - EPISODE 248: External Brewery Syndrome

Episode Date: May 12, 2022

Prepare to enter Britain's most 'gramworthy fingering pit as we introduce a new segment, plus: Inebriated deer, removable Dutch floors, dipping your child, and the Tipping Report. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to Buonnta Vista, episode 248. I'm Andrew and I'm here at Britain's Best Restaurant, the Queen's Giblets. Sitting across from me is my lovely date. She's about to tuck into her appetizer, which is a deconstructed aspick of jellied eel pussies. It's Lucy. Ooh, very retro, I like it. I like it when they deconstruct things. It's very sexy. It's not that sexy and then eating aspig.

That was one of the things, I was thinking to myself recently. That one hasn't really come back around, has it? Has it? No. Not it. Only is a joke, I think. Hey, hey, you, shut up and get away from my table. You'll come back when I call you over later in this introduction. Over in the open kitchen, I can see one of the world-class incredibly sweaty chefs as he takes a waver-thin cut of the finest, freshest Atlantic salmon, caught fresh

and purchased this morning from Billings' cate then fish's rolling it around in a big tub of Keens curry powder. Theo, what do you call that dish you're making? Oh, it's the sailors misery. I only cost 30 P though. Where are you from? I'm from England. Somewhere around Dovershire. God. We copped it for the New Zealand accents last week, but geez. Molto be on the eel pussy. And finally here comes our dessert. Only the best for my gorgeous date. That's right, I've ordered the extra large punch bowl of custard for two. Struggling under the weight of the enormous bowl is our waiter Ben.

Ben, how's the custard this evening? It's very thick. I wish we didn't come to this restaurant in Davishia. I was looking at reviews and it's, it's a six-star Michelin restaurant. Like they're British Michelin stars, so it's not quite the same. You know and it's a six star Michelin restaurant. Like they're British Michelin stars so it's not quite the same, you know, it's kind of they've got a bit of a curve on their grading system. You need to, I guess, like, if you don't get food poisoning from the restaurant, that's three of the stars.

Yeah. So it's like, I'm guessing that it is impossible to get like non-European food that is also good in England or is it like if you've got a like a Indian place around the corner is that like the Holy Grail or something because it's the only edible food in North Dovershire? Probably. Like do they, like, do they like the Holy Grail or something? Because it's the only edible food in North Dovershire? Probably. Like do they, oh because they fucked up, they fucked up curry, right? They gave us well butter chicken chicken. No, butter chicken chicken was invented in India in the 70s so, uh, they gave us the chicken tick and masala I believe. I actually quite like chicken tick and tick.

Honestly, there are a few British originated curries that are quite nice. But it is a shame that they came to us through colonialism. But chicken tick and masala. Pretty good. You can just get that sauce and just like dab it on some chicken. And put some chicken and put it in an oven or something if you're short a time. We've been getting, um, we've been getting Indian from a local place that we hadn't got stuff before, got stuff from before and we got a buttered chicken from there and and me and wife of the show and my wife Helena both went, oh my god, because like a little while ago I was watching videos of somebody making butter chicken

and then they got to a point where they were like, now I'm going to put a kilo of butter in. And I was like, oh for real, that's why they call it butter chicken. And yeah, and having having this butter chicken from this particular restaurant, I was like, oh, I think this this is this is this is this is this is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, I their, I their, I their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. I today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, th. I their their their, their, this butter chicken from this particular restaurant, I was like, oh, I think this is the first time I've ever had it from a place that is making it, like in the legit, incredibly rich style. What did you get it from? Uh, the one in the city? No, a place around the corner, uh, in our neighborhood. Well, what's your address and the listeners can kind of work it. Yeah, they don't, I this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I this this. I th th th th th th th th th th th thi th thi thi thi thi thi this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is th. I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi corner, in our neighborhood. I want to say... Well, what's your address and the listeners can kind of work it out.

Yeah, we don't need to... If you don't remember the thing right now... We're going to do a fun little, like, a-R game. Where... Yeah, Andrews residents. Oh boy, perusing the menu at this restaurant Makes me want to peruse the menu at other at other at other at other the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the me want to peruse the menu at other restaurants. I'm always saying this when I'm out of dinner.

Oh, yeah, I'm always like, I wish I was reading a different menu. Oh, this menu looks so good I can read another completely different one. Let's leave. Yeah, I sit down at a restaurant, read the menu and say, thank you, and then I go having got everything that I wanted. Hey before you carry on with your segue. Yes. Can I just say people of the generation above us love looking at a menu in advance before they go to a restaurant. I love doing that. Have we been there at the restaurant? No we're going to be there in like half an hour. But what if I don't like anything there and I want to stay at home instead and play secure? I gotta work it out. I gotta work out what I'm, what I'm preparing for, even the vibe of it. So Lucy, are you, are you saying that you're a pretty good-going.

I'm an advanced menu reader. They'd put down that menu at the restaurant and I say, fuck off. Take it back. I don't know what I want it. I want to to to breakfast. I to breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast place once and I hadn't like taken the time to look up the mirror, the menu beforehand and I got it and I panicked. And I ordered Eggs Benedict, right? Very safe. Love some Eggs Benedict, fried ham. It came out on a fucking bed, like so you got your bread, your sour dough, off to a good start, and then a bed of sweet potato mash. Oh no. And I was fucked up. I was so mad. There's little in this world that I hate more than sweet potato. Yeah. The only thing you hate more is, oh actually I might need a few more minutes with the menu. Saying that is the only thing you hate more than

absolutely. Well absolutely so well I looked at my options and I kind of fumbled a bit and I ordered this thing and I was I was very mad and if I'd have studied the menu beforehand in my own time at my own pace I wouldn't have had this problem. That's right. Insane behavior. I can't believe we're evenly split on this. This is I thought that was going to be a universal I just enjoy it. I like I like I like like like like like like like like like like like like like the restaurant. I like the restaurant. I like the restaurant. I like the restaurant. I like the restaurant. I like the restaurant. I like the restaurant. I like like the restaurant. I like like the restaurant. I like like the restaurant. I'm like the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to the the th. I'm the th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm. I'm the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm thea. thea. the. thea. the. I the. I the. I'm. I the. I th. I th. This is, I thought that was going to be a universal record. I just enjoy it. I like getting excited about the restaurant I'm going to later. I like to go, oh, I'm going to order that later. I understand, I guess I understand it from that point of view of like, I am excited about going to a place, but also for me, part of going to a restaurant is getting there and going, time to find out what this restaurant has. Yeah and also what is the way to think? What would you, what are you feeling? What are you feeling is the best one you know? Yeah, what would you recommend? Big sigh, big sigh. He's probably wishing that he could read a different menu for once.

You know, back on the horse. Folks it's time for our brand new segment. Menues back on the horse. Folks it's time for our brand new segment. Menus back on the menu. Looks like menu, back on the menu, boy. How did you do it? How did you do it? Menu. I knew what it was, but... I thought it'd be that, but it sounded so much better hearing it. Oh boy. This is so dumb. So I was like, what's going to be a good menu?

And I immediately started trying to find like novelty restaurants in England? I have legitimately spent the last three weeks try to find funny menus for this segment and I had no luck whatsoever. So I'mto find funny menus for this segment and I had no luck whatsoever so I'm glad you're better at this than I am. So what I think is the issue right is that like I was looking for novelty and unendorsed non-search engine of the show Google has interpreted this as like quirky. And so really they're like giving, like, giving this the show Google. Yeah so really they're just, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, you, you, you, you, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're like, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're like, you're like, th, th, like, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, like, th, like, th, like quirky. Mmm. And so really, yeah, so really they're just like giving you like an upscale restaurant with

an unusual characteristic and that's not what I want. I don't, I'm not looking for a menu with good food on it, you know. And so browsing some of these entries for London Nightlife, I came across something listed as a restaurant, and I will dispute that in this segment. It's called Bolley Ballerson. It's in Shoreditch. A shorditch is kind of like a cool place, right? Possibly. And that name once more.

Bally Ballerson. Bally Ballerson. So here's a listing on design my night. to come. Oh I see where we're headed. All right. It's a giant ball pit? Need I say more? Yes. Probably. Yeah, tell me why the fuck I would want that. Do I get to take like a hot dog in there? Just covered in mustard? Yes, Bolley Bollison is the place giving big kids the night of their lives. If you dream of diving into a pool of plastic balls, then head over to one of the most quirky restaurants in London. I don't think restaurant is an apt. So this is for adults, a ball pit for adults. They'll be serving up tasty pizzas and nostalgia-inspired cocktails to take you right back to those play days. The children at heart. Go on. You remember those cocktails you had as a six-year-old?

Well, I mean that will also come to make sense to the point. So really this isn't so much a restaurant a night club that has a very very tasty tastytytytytytytyty thasty thasty thasty thasty thasty thasty thasty th tasty thas th thas thas thas th that that that that that that that that th that thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tasus tasus tasus taskos. taskos taskos and nostalgia. thos and nostalgia. their their their their the make sense at a point. So really, this isn't so much a restaurant as a nightclub that has a very large ball pit in it. They serve pizzas and cocktails. And looking at the reviews, it's very difficult to figure out how ordering a pizza works. So you're in the ball pit. There is a big ball pit and you're not allowed to take drinks in there. And you're not allowed to take food in there. there. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th has a very tho tho that has a very that has a very that has a very that has a very that has a very that has has has has a that has has has has has a that has has has a very has has has a very has has has a very has a very that has has a that has a that has a that has a that has a that has a to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the ball pit? Well there is a big ball pit and you're not allowed to take drinks in there and you're not allowed to take your food in there and security

monitors you very angrily while you're in the ballpit. Why am I going in the ballpit then? If you would like to pay... All my food and drinks are outside of it. If you would like to pay 40 pounds per person, you can have a booth seat and they will bring you pizzas, right? You can't order the pizzas? Someone just comes out every now and then with some pizzas and says, one any of these? All right. Oh, okay. And there were also reviews from people who were like, I went there, but I didn't have a table or a seat because you have to like reserve those those and the that, they have, and, and th, and th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they they they they their their their their their their their their to to to to to to like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, they, they, like, like, like, they, they, their, their, their, their, their, their their, their, their, like were also reviews from people who were like, I went there, but I didn't have a table or a seat because you have to like reserve those and pay for them. And then I said, hey, can I order a pizza to one of the servers and they said, they

just kind of come out and walked off. So that seems to be a very confusing deal, right? But here's the names of some of the pizzas on the menu. Thank you, comma, cheese. That is tomato and mozzarella. Not quite sure. What are we playing off? Are we thank you next? That was kind of what I thought.

It doesn't run with cheese. No, no, no, but keep that in mind though, Lucy, because it's written, thank you, letter you, comma, cheese. Yeah, so that's the only interpretation I can get to because no one in the world says, thank you, please. You know. Next up we have easy, peasy, no cheesy, which is a pizza with tomomom tom tom with tom with tom with thom with thom with thom with thom with thom with th cheesy which is a pizza with tomato sauce and garlic aoli on it. But no peas. No peelis. Peelus. Pizza my heart which has tomato, mozzarella, red and yellow peppers, corjette and caramelized onion. So far these are all 10 pounds each.

That's like $40. That's about $570. $570. But they're 10 pounds each, but you can't order them. No, I don't know how you pay for them. I don't understand at all. Well, they just come out. And then you pay for them?

Oh, you don't get any pizza you haven't haven't haven't haven't haven't you haven't you haven't you haven't you haven't you haven't you haven't you haven't you haven't you haven't you haven't you haven't you haven't you haven't you haven't you you you you th you haven't th you haven't th you haven for them? You still pay for them? Oh, you don't get any pizza you haven't paid for. But, but like, it seems like you can't, you can't place an order with the waitresses. And I also assume, I also assume, well, not from the sounds of the reviews. Okay. From the sounds of the reviews, security is a bunch of, uh, very aggressive dudes who spend most of the night trying to finger bang the the the the the the th....... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to be the. to be to be thinks, thathea. to be to be to be to be to be they they they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to be. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the night trying to finger bang the staff. So, all right. In the ball pit. Well, no, I think of the vagina. That's what I call it. What is a vagina, if not a ball pit? I don't. I don't. I don't. So Lucy. Anything can be a ball pit. I don't know. So Lucy, given that you have suggested that thank you cheese is possibly a very

inept play on thank you next, I think that this following pizza item really supports that theory. This one is named, Truffle like it's hot. That's barely there. Truffle like it's hot. It's not in the ballpark, but it is kind of in the parking lot next to the ballpark. What about truffle like some hogs because of truffle hogs? And then... Possibly.there's a pun there. This is of course a reference, very topical and timely reference

to the 2004 Snoop Dog song, Drop It Like It's Hot. That was released 35 years ago today. So on that one you get tomato mozzarella, eminthalskamoza, parmesan, truffle and honey. And that's 11 pounds, which I think is $900 Australian. Yeah, that's right. So they do seem like pretty basic pizzas, but the other appealing part of the menu is the cocktails. They say, hey, we've got great cocktails.

And what are they called? Well, this one's called, Dibby Dabberson. No, I get it. I don't. Like a dab? Like a dabbing? Lucy just actually dabbed just for reference. Yep. I was just like some British knots Now a podcast in the 90s

No podcast is a audio media Nightclub Nightclub dance tapping. So a Dibby dabbison contains strawberry gin cranberry and a dip dab lollipop. Oh, dip-dots. Isn't that the little foot that you dip in stuff? Excuse me?

The little foot that you dip and stuff. No, it's not a foot. Why would it be a foot? No, I think I kind of know. What's it called? I'm conjuring a vision of what you're talking about here, Lisa. Foot lollipop. So what this looks like is another one of these horrible British treats. So it's, it's, it's basically a lollipop in a packet of whiz, so you get a lollipop and then you get to dip it back into your whiskers. Yeah, but so, so.! What's the what's the legal drinking

gauge in the UK? Is it 18? It's 18. So I'm 18 years or older here. And in real life. Yeah. Lollipops are no longer for me. Well perhaps you shouldn't visit. All right. Bolley ballerson because... How much does this cost Andrew? That is 10 pounds. Oh my god. So not cheap. 17,000 Australian dollars. That is somehow more expensive than your average cocktail. So a drink for children. It's already way too, way too expensive. You could also get yourself a hubbubber for 10... Oh sorry 10... no that's a pound symbol. It's not a euro. Now this one I know. A hubbubbubbub, a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th thubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubb-a, a th. So th. So th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so tho, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so th so th so th so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so th. So, so, so th. So, so th, so th, so th, so th, so th, so th, so th, so th, so th, so th, so th, so th, so thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi thi. So, thi. So, so thi, no that's a pound symbol, it's not a euro. Now this one I know. A hubber, hubbubber which is tequila, lime and bubble gum.

Yeah. They don't clarify if it's some type of bubblegum flavoring or if they just chuck on a piece. Got to be bubble gum syrup, surely. You would think so. They do have a section of the menu which says, Classics with a twist. You know how we all love classic cocktails, right? But what if it was different? Let's, alright, if anybody can figure out what this, which classic this is a twist on, you will be helping me out. This one's called, no lighy.

No lighty. All right. What are we doing? And it contains what's going on here? Vodka, lichy and edible flowers for 10 pounds. They're very bad at describing their cocktails. These don't sound appetizing. The reviews are not particularly generous to them. I will say. Uh, no. they'll say. Uh, no. the the their they. they'll be helping me. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. their their their their their their don't sound appetizing. The reviews are not particularly generous to them. No. I will say, uh, no lichy, no lighty. No lighy. Lighy, ly, ly, as though that is a word.

No lichy, no lighy. What glass cocktail could this be a spin on? Are they saying, are they people that say leachy, like Americans? Does that make it make any more sense? No leachy, no. No. I'm getting nothing. Is this racist somehow? No, they say lichy in the UK as well. I'm going to assume racist. I think this might be a racist bad cocktail. Something on Google, who says no likey, no lighty? Paddy McGinnis.

Oh. That sounds like a laid-up British knots. Yeah. That's not not good. And finally, their centerpiece, of course, of the classics with a twist is the porn star martini. This contains, I want you to like imagine, go to your mind palace and really imagine these flavors and substances stacking on top of each other and then entering your system. Passion Fruit vodka. Mango vodka. on top of each other and then entering your system. Passion Fruit vodka, mango vodka, vanilla vodka, and champagne.

I already know that that tastes bad. That's going to taste like battery acid. The reviews seem to describe the cocktails in two ways, either great, and that's posted by an 18-year-old. Or it's an adult saying the cocktails tasted very bad and suspiciously watered down. Because you can, you can book yourself, you can book yourself, yourself like you can have brunch there not sure how that really makes sense you can have brunch there and you can get a ticket that comes with bottomless porn star martinis oh and that's the one that tasks like battery acid yes and you can drink as many of those as you

can stomach and that's got three types of vodka in it. Yes. And according to somebody in the reviews, they were saying, yeah, like the cocktails, which were not good, people were just like making them and just lining them up on the counter so you could just order one and then grab one. Oh, I hate that. Which meant that a, this person said, A, it meant that all of them were like room temperature. And B, all of these drinks were just sitting there, not being watched by anyone. That's what you want, yeah. Before then being given to people in the menu. It's very cool. Yeah, very cool. I don't think brunch is really fitting

in with my mental model of this place though, which is exclusively for bridesmaid and bachelor parties. Bachelorette parties. Well, so I'm assuming they're all just sort of getting their, like they're lining up, they're getting all their shit, they're leaving it like unprotected on the booth that they've booked. And then the parties are sort of meeting in the ball pit for, you know, maybe like, apply whichever orgy scene you wish, I'm thinking either. Well, society maybe, but in a ball pit. And you're getting fingered in that ball pit. Yeah, 100%. You're getting figured in the ball pit for sure.

You're going to the ball pit place for a Hendoo? You're getting fingered. You're getting fingered. Pull out your telescope and scan the horizon because you're about to set a course for digital penetration. Better make it on a Tuesday because apparently they wash the balls on Monday. Now, Theo, what perfect time for you to introduce the concept of the cleanliness of the balls in the venue. The ball cleaning. Now, they make a lot of jokes on the website about their balls and how much fun their balls are and how often they clean their balls.

Oh, I guess it's sparkling clean. That's funny. And they make a big point of we have a machine that the balls get run through and cleaned and everything and blah blah, blah. The human body, the most beautiful machine there is. So, so, so like spent quite a while looking over the reviews for this place right? So let's get into the reviews. Let's see here three stars out of five. Staff are so rude from the bouncer to the woman sweeping the balls on the slope ruined the night for us. One star perfect place for kids literally the

music was just shit. Now we start to notice a trend here on this next one, one star. Worst venue ever. The security guards are so disrespectful and have no manners. They look people up and down as if they're nothing. Their drinks are pricey and watered down. They play the same songs over and over. The ball pits sm smelled like vomit.

I would not recommend this venue. I was probably just packaged parmesan, I think. That's probably it. For all of the pizzas, they're making their pizzas. Honestly, this place sounds like hell. Allison says, one star, too many people in the ball pit. A lot of them are throwing balls at random people. The security guy literally has his back towards the ball pit and nobody stopped them. I got hit in the eye which really hurt. The balls were dirty and badly maintained. It doesn't look like they clean them at all.

Not recommended. Oh I got hit in the ball pit place with the ball. Well, quite a few of the reviews were like I went in the ball pit and there were just a bunch of very drunk young guys whipping balls at people's faces as hard as they could yes. Ignoring any request to stop doing it and so we had to leave. What else would be at the ball pit place that sells martinis that you can just go up and grab off the bar? Yeah. Following three-star review, the ball pit is very cute and Instagramable, but what I could

not get over was the putrid smell of vomit that seems to linger around the central bar area. Pre-packaged Parmesan, almost certainly, yeah. Everyone in my party who went went noticed and commented on it. It raised questions of how sanitary the place is and put us off returning. What are the questions? Hey, what smells like puke here? Yeah, that's gonna be the puke. What's with all the puke?

What's with all this prepackaged parmesan all over the floor? One star from Taylor who says, I would go so far as to say, the worst place I've been to. There was nowhere to sit, the drinks were disgusting, and it smelled like off cheese. Oh. There's not worth the money at all. The worst place I've been to. Do you think he means like, Edmund? Oh. I'm on the Instagram. Like it is Instagram ball. The ball pit's also quite shallow.

It's like flat, large and shallow and fuller slags. Quite a few reviews of people that were like, we got in the pit, but you can't have your drinks or anything in there, so we kind of, we're in there for a minute. And then we were like, I guess we'll get out of the pit. Okay, I will. It is extremely Instagramable in that their own promotional photos do kind of make it look fun as hell. Like it actually looks kind of cool. The lighting is... It's so the all the balls are white and then they have multi-colored lights lighting them from underneath and on top which actually looks quite dope but keeping in mind that

it's full of at best vomit and at worst semen. One of the reviews was like oh yeah like look nice and everything and then you get in and all of the balls are like kind of sticky and there's like hair stuck to the cool. How about this one star review? Far too busy. Lack of drinks having to queue for 30 minutes to get one was told there were no vegetarian pizzas left so three of my party had nothing to eat. The rest of us had two pizzas between nine people so everyone left starving. The bouncer was extremely rude and made a homophobic comment to one of my friends about looking quote bent. Oh come on now I will definitely not be returning. Yeah no

it's probably a good that's probably a wise move are you guys Roman Roman leaves a one-star review didn't let me in because I were alone Are you guys doing anything on Wednesday June 1st? Why that? Well because on Wednesday June 1st there's ball pit speed dating at Bally Bollerson for ages 21 to 35 21 to 30 imagine being 34 in the ballpill to 30? Imagine being 34 in the whole pit. Oh, that's interesting. Actually, the description of the event says 21 to 35. Sorry, the description says 21 to 30.

So if you are between 30 and 35, got a roll of dice on that one. So we're all taking a risk if we had down there. Oh. You're taking some some kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind some some some some some some some some some some some some kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind some some some some some some some some some kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind th of some some some some some some some some kind of th of th of th of th of th of th of to to So we're all taking a risk if we had down there. Oh, you're taking some kind of risk by going to bally ballerson I think. This fucking sucks. The event takes place in the VIP area reserved exclusively for our speed dating event blah blah blah blah after each date you choose whether you want to see that person again in the following day we'll publish matches blah blah blah after the event ends it's time to go and they put the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's th. I'm ta. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I' ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te.that person again in the following day will publish matches blah blah blah blah after the event ends it's time to go and they put this in italics balls deep in the ball pits with your fellow daders get in there and fuck them

I think yeah the condoms allowed the thing the thing that immediately made a lot of sense to me and I simply could not let go of was like oh that's right you have this whole thing and it's the the the the the the the th th. and it's in in in in in in in in in in in in th. th. th. th. th. th. It's in th. It's in th. It's in th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. the. thi. th. the that immediately made a lot of sense to me and I simply could not let go of was like, oh that's right, you have this whole thing and it's inside a nightclub and what are nightclubs like, they are covered in spilled drinks and vomit. Like they fucking, they stink. Like when you go into any of those sorts of venues, you know, stepping into them at 10 a.m. with your regular nose on. It's no good. I got a much better idea and a bunch of better business plan than this place.

I've just got to be in assembling this, during this segment. So come to my house on Saturday night around 7 p.m. and just get rat shit in my backyard. I'll charge you 20 bucks for the privilege. And then I'll order you an Uber to Bounce McGregor, which is a trampoline place which has an enormous like styrofoam pit that you can just like fucking bounce off the trampoline and land in there. And they're open until 9 p.m. on Saturday nights. So you can get like a good hour of just being fucked up and like jumping into the trampoline pit and stuff until, you know, or until you're thrown out. Now you might think that there no intoxicated patrons at Pounce might be a problem.

But actually all of the staff there are 15 and you can just bully them. Yeah, you can just pretend also. Go fuck yourself, you can't even drive. You can do about Jayden. You can sort of just like push him to the ground. Hey Jadon, what if I slid you a cool five dollar note to make this all go away? Oh I could buy some share bets. Give you two choices. What if I told you the location of a torn-up picture magazine that's in the woods the woods in the woods in the woods in the woods in the woods in the woods in the woods in the woods in the woods in their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their their their their their. I'll their. I'll their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. I their. I their. I their. I their their their their their their their their th. I's th. I'll to. I'll to. to. I'll. to. to. to. to. to. to. I'll. too. I'll. I'll. I'll their their their told you the location of a torn-up picture magazine that's in the woods near here? I did also see a restaurant called London in the sky, which you know the food seemed fine, but the concept is that you sit at a table and they haul the table up in the air on a crane. And then you sit up in the air?

Yeah. And I was like, lunch on a crane, huh? Yeah. And all of the, every promotional photo that they have of it is people taking a photo of themselves on their phone while they're eating. Just like, no, I can't say that. I'm th. I'm the, you. And, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you sit, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th, th. And, th, that, sit, sit, that, sit, and th, and that, of themselves on their phone while they're eating. Just like, no I can't say that. I'm too old. I can't say that.

I cannot say there are far too many venues now which exists solely for you to go there and take a photo in them. That's a bummer. There is a, there's like a certain type of person for whom that is very legitimately how they decide what they're going to do. Which you know what, as long as they're having fun, I don't mind. Just kidding. I wish they would be it.

You don't believe that, man. Who does it hurt? Me? It makes me slightly mad and for that reason, they should die. But in all their promo material material, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thu, thu, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. That, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, there's, there's, there's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, they should die. But in all their promo material, they keep referring to eating food on a crane as a flight? Yeah. We are the numbers of the crane moving. He called himself a pilot up there? Well, yes, I think, I think that they are co-opting a lot of plain language. They say we offer a number of exciting flights from the classic breakfast, brunch, lunch, and dinner through to afternoon tea cocktails and regular one-off specials.

Our chefs and hosts prepare and serve your meals in the sky, allowing you to sit back, relax and enjoy the experience. That's very, you're on a plain place. Yeah, me. That's very, you're on a plane. I lose my mind whenever I say these things because like how long are you sitting there and you can't go to the toilet? Oh, you gotta be like... We're eating and drinking. I guess you could.

That's the below folks problem. They have you like full strapped in a gamer chair too. Like you're fully, you're fully, you're fully a racing chair type thing. And then you have to be up there like, I'm sorry, I need to go to the bathroom. Excuse me, Mr. Crane Pilot, I need to do a whaz. Can we do something about this? You just, can you just get us over the 10? So I'll sort it out. Put me over the House of Lords and now. I'll take care of this.

And finally, I did find the restaurant that will give Lucy the most upset tummy that she could possibly have. And that is the cheese bar in Camden, where every menu item is laden with a generous helping of cheese Absolutely everything real 2016 areas So you can get cheese boards obviously you can get cheese plates are they bringing the fondues? Oh, you can get fondue you can, you can get cheese puffs, you can get Halumi Saginaw. You can get five cheese macaroni with Montgomery's Ogle Shield, Quicks Cheddar, Lincolnshire

poacher, Brew Valley Mozorella and Cornish Kern. For only 9.8 pounds, which I believe is about 20,000 Australian dollars. For a mac and cheese. You can get grilled cheese sandwiches, you can get cheese to share. You can get sides which have cheese on them. But what particularly tickled me about this right is that they have an offer for a bottomless racquet right which is which is a thing where you have like some some ham or salted beef or

whatever potatoes and a couple of other things and then they get like a picture if you will a bisected wheel of cheese and they heat up the exposed side of the wheel of cheese until it's all like melty and caramelized or whatever and then scrape all of that off onto your plate over the top of the food. Yeah. So you get like ham and potatoes with a big lump of melted cheese over the top of it. And they have a thing where you can, that is, for a set period of time, you get bottomless raclets. So as much cheese as you want. And I cannot help thinking, how much melted cheese can anyone eat, you know?

You ever had like the baked brie and it's really easy to eat like an entire wheel of brie? Which is weird because if you're in your house and you were just like snacking and you noticed yourself eating an entire wheel of brie, you'd be like, what have I done? Yeah, but if it's you're like well this is a meal I'm eating a meal. It's just gone. It's different. I've also just looked at and then it's it's gone related to having diarrhea. I found an FAQ on one of those Sky restaurant things and it says what happens if you need to use the restroom and it says in most cases we just ask guests to visit the restroom before their flight. Yes in a cool.. It says th case th case th th th th the th th says th th th th th th th the th th th th th th thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus th. th. thi their thi thi to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. It's is is is is their th. It's is th. It's is th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the the. It's the. It's the. It's theat theat the. It's to theat theat theat the. It's theat the. It's the. It's ir flight. Yeah, simplicate. It says, otherwise you ask where they are to the waiter and we go down. It's a bit less discreet because the whole table shifts to ground level.

I mean it is very funny to do the, excuse me, we're out of the bathroom and the waiter says, there is one moment. And then it's like, what happens if I need to use the bathroom, go beforehand? It's like, what do you do if you've been shot? Avoid a situation where bullets are flying. Go back in time and step to the side. I'm just, I'm putting a little picture of the racquet in the chat for you guys so that you can kind of get a vibe. Oh have you not seen like every viral food video was this?

No, this was every video for like three years. What the fuck? That looks so fucked up. That is okay. That is awful looking him with just like a deflated head crab. How much did it? Nutrition with just like topped with porous oil? Look, I could I could and would eat one of these and then I'd like drink a coffee and I'd be like drink a coffee and then we have to go home now. We gotta go home now. But- This pile- take the keys, push me into the car, start driving. This pile of ingredients with an enormous slab of melted cheese on top sets you back 20 pounds. No, no, no, that's not true. 20 pounds per person gets you 90 minutes of as many

them as you can eat. I don't need more of this meal. I need one of that meal. What is pictured here is as much as I need. Theo, are you telling me you don't need 90 minutes of bottomless ogle shoble and dingley del ham? And cornichons, cornishons, I love a corner shons. You know what a cornich.ishons a little baby pickles.

You know what a cornishon is. Little baby pickles. That sounds nice actually. Not me. Yeah, you love them. You love a cornishon. You're crazy about them. And a glass of wine.

One glass of wine. You need more than one for that much cheese. If I'm giving myself that much diarrhea, I may as well have a bottle of wine. That's a bottle of wine meal. Yeah. Uh, the, the cheese bar also has a second venue called the cheese barge. Yeah. Our newest restaurant, a 96 foot double deck of vessel moored on the Regents Canal. It is.

Sick. Our main dining room plays host to a seasonal cheese-focused menu from a whole half-kilo baked baron to slow-brazed beef shin-spelt risotto with fresh goats curd. Do I get to choose which baron they roast? Oh my goodness, but honestly, who can't eat that much cheese? But seriously, folks. No, we have a lot of laughs. But seriously.

I'm a joke, folks. They should theme a restaurant around being good. Yeah. It just shows all the things that are good to eat and we put it on a menu. What if just like nice people offer you a selection of beverages and foods that sound quite nice? Yeah. And it's themed around dinner. Yeah. Sort of dinner foods, if you will. Evening meals that you might eat it for dinner time. The theme is I am an adult at a restaurant. Yeah, that's about it. I want to, I want to listen to listen to listen to listen to listen to listen to listen to listen to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the an adult at a restaurant. Yeah, that's about it.

I want to listen to one of the Krung Bin albums. I want to drink two glasses of a wine that I don't really know anything about the style of, but confidently ordered to try and make myself sound good. I want to pay $25 to $35 if it's a, like, make a special occasion thing. Yeah. Maybe 30. And then you in return you bring me some good food. Yeah. Hello. It's me. Ben from this podcast. Maryon Webster defines a podcast as a program made available in digital format for automatic download over the internet.

And that simply could not be more true. If you like what we do and want more of this podcast made available to you in digital format for automatic download over the internet, simply go to Patreon. Vista and hit the enormous button that says subscribe. For five US dollars a month you get access to our weekly bonus episodes, our exclusive Discord server, and an RSS feed of both bonus episodes and free episode that doesn't have these ads in them. That sweet sweet subscriber cash allows me to do this show full-time without having to get a real job and frankly that whips to me. The other guys also get some money or whatever but I don't really care. Anyway check that out if it sounds good to

you, love you. Folks I tell you. Folks, I tell you, there is nothing more natural than spending 90 minutes eating as much cheese as you can and then having violent diarrhea. And of course... That's a bit crowded house song is about. Oh boy. And this is the point at which we check in on other natural events in the world of nature.

It's Nature Corner. Multinism, natchgona, rubber crab, sniffed my deer. Netschakoneer. So I should say it for this one, you know? Mmm. This is from press agency UPI. Wildlife groups warn of drunk deer in France. Wildlife experts in the Normandy region of France are warning members of the public to beware of an unusual problem. Drunk deer running amok!

Now that is unusual. That's strange, yeah. Certainly outside of my experience. Yeah. The 30 million Friends Foundation, no need to brag. Okay, calm down about. Name 10. Yeah. Name 10 of them. It's like a person on Facebook in 2009, you know. Got him. Get him.

The 30 million friends foundation, a French animal rescue group, said deer and Normandy have been known to overindulge this type of year on spring buds that are loaded with sugar that ferrets. I see it's blaming the deer now. In the animal stomach, making them drunk as if they had consumed alcohol. That's one of my favorite drunks that there is. As if you had, oh, I'm drunk now as if I had consumed alcohol. That's how I'm going to describe it from now on.

Holding half of a beer. Yeah, I've got a, I've got Brewer's syndrome. It's kind of like auto-brewers syndrome, except I've got to put the alcohol in me. External brewery syndrome. Now I, uh, I'm not sure, but I think this name might be French. Association for the protection of anemur savage. That could mean anything. I could mean anything. Or, Aspas, warned hikers and drivers to beware of potential encounters with intoxicated deer.

So you say their name is Aspiss. That was what I said, yes. That's what my name always is on the... I'm the means. After I've had 90 minutes of unlimited racklets. They call me arse piss. But those potential encounters as well, they could be anything. They could start yelling at you while you're driving. Nice hat, they might shout at you. Who knows? They could say anything.

The group warned members of the public to keep a safe distance from any deer that appear to be acting strangely. So not even a deer that is not even a deer that's acting strangely. It only needs the appearance of strangeness. Calling your slurs, etc. Yeah, not strange, they're French. If you see a deer and the deer just cannot get its key into its car door. Hey, hey, buddy, hey, come on now. Just stay here. Come on, come on. Firefighters in... Where? Rescue to deer, May 3rd. Rescue to deer May 3rd.

Foul, water and butter. That fell into the Sin River while apparently intoxicated. And rescuers were recently called to rescue a deer in Vernon that was found in an intoxicated state in a garden near the town center. There's no joke, I mean that's how Jeff Buckley died. After a heady meal of... Spring buds. Spring buds.

Jeff, mate, you've got gotta slow down at those spring buds. Fuck off. Fuck off! Got a great idea for a new album, everyone's gonna love it. I can handle them. I'm not currently drunk. It's called Sketches for My Sweetheart, that bitch. Sketches for my sweetheart, the deer that ate too many spring buds and later became the drunk. I believe that's that's the one. Full title yeah.

Was that your question bit? No my question was the song that he was singing as he went under the water. Oh. I think it was a coconut song by Harry Nielsen. I thought it was a queen song, but I think I get this wrong every time I try and recollect it. Sorry, is this a real thing? Is this real? No, sorry, he was singing the chorus of whole lot of love by Led Zeppelin. As he hopped in the notoriously gentle, is that what happened? That is correct. He was in a slack water channel of the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoing, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is a, is, is a, is a, is a, is a thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. Is thi. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is this. Is this. Is this. Is this. Is this. Is this. Is this. Is this. Is this. Is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is a. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. He was in a slack water channel of the Mississippi River singing the chorus of whole lot of love by Led Zeppelin. That was his first mistake.

Pretty big one. What's that? You only get one. Yeah. That was the one time Jeff Buckley ever made a mistake. Jeff Buckley, you fucked up. Play the you fucked up him. Oh boy. Well, I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I mean, I th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that tho. that that that that that that that was that was that was that was that was that was that was, that was that was, that was, that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, that's th. th. that's th. th. the thooooooooooooo. th. that that th. that that that thoooooooooooo. that was that wasyou fucked up them. Oh boy. Well, I mean, Jeff Barkley fucked up that one singular time,

but there are people out there in the world and all over the world's roads fucking up all the time. Let's check in on them on the tipping report. I'm itching for another edition of the tipping report. Honk honk. Hong Kong indeed, Andrew. This is the segment where we talk about trucks that have tiped over on the highway and spilled their loads all over the place. Oh, that's hot.

60 liters of hydrochloric acid on James Rue's drive in Sydney. That's a big whoopsy daisy, isn't it? How long was it on his drive for before the drive ceased to exist? Well, apparently they were quite worried about what it was doing to the road surface there. A truckload of beetroot on Interstate 90 near Thompson, North Dakota. Truckload of what? Beatroot. It's going to leave a stain. Yeah, hard to get out.

Yeah, you really want to get that road in some sods as soon as possible. And you want that road to remember that it had a spill of beetrutes the night before because otherwise when it takes a piss the next day it's going to think that it's got some sort of kidney issues. Hundreds of paving stones on interstate four in Orlando, Florida. Free of having stones. Just leave that there. It's free. That's a free road, baby.

19 tons of wood on Interstate 85 in Caberous County North Carolina. That's a lot of wood. Yeah? That's a whole lot of wood. A truck full of wet cement on Interstate 10 near Katie, Texas. Not for long. Free road. Yeah, when the crew arrives to clean it, oh you said there was wet cement. We have to go to the wrong place. There's just a road here. There's just a road here. That that. That that. That's a lot that that. That's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot th th. It's a lot the the the the the tho. It's a lot the the the the the the thoooo. It's a lot that's a lot that's a lot that's a lot of that's a lot that's a lot tho. It's when the crew arrives to clean it, oh you said there was wits in it.

We have to go to the wrong place. There's just a road here. I brought all the wrong equipment. And finally, 20 tons of Vissey brand hard seltzer on baseline boulevard in Jasper County Missouri. What's Vizzi brand hard seltzer? That's free hard sels. We're two for two on to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the wrong to the wrong to the wrong to the wrong to to the wrong to the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong place the wrong the wrong place the wrong place. We's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the wrong. We's the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong the the wrong the the the to thoes. to thoeseltselucea thoeseltzeltzeltzeltzeltzeltzeltzeltzeltzetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsets. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. We'll theper County Missouri. What's Vizzi brand hard seltzer? That's free hard seltzer. We're two for two on hard seltzills for the this and the last... How much is 20 tons of hard seltzer? Well that's 20,000 liters of hard seltzer. Oh they have a passion fruit watermelon hard seltzerzer, I got a peach lemonade.

I'd drink it. That sounds nice. So we got a letter this week that came in piping hot to the Bonte Vista mail bag. Hey, why don't we play that theme? 1,800, 3,1, 7,5, that's the Boltivista hotline. 1,803, 1,7, 5, 155, that's the Boltonvista hotline. You can send us an email. Mail bag at Bultivista. Maybe DM us on Twitter.

You could even message Facebook. But we don't really check message Facebook. We don't really check the Facebook, yeah. 8003175. That's the Pontivista hotline. 1,8003175, that's the Pontivista hotline. We received a letter to Mailbag at Pontivista.com. We received a letter to Mail bag at Punta Vista hotline. We received a letter to mailbag at Punta Vista.com about the tipping report. And I was fascinated by this the other night.

So I'm going to share it with you, our beautiful listeners. Hi gang, long-time listener, first-time emailer. Can't believe this is the first email this person ever said. We'll be gentle. I was listening to episode 246 while on the underground and my ears were burning when you started the tipping report. I was reminded of a few weeks ago when my father texted our family WhatsApp group to say he had been stuck in traffic for one hour on the way to a meeting due to a blockage on the road. I replied as any diligent son would telling him, oh no, before assuming he'd get out soon

and get on with my day. It wasn't until 5 p.m. That he was still there. He had so far been on the motorway static for six hours. He then told us it was because of a huge vegetable oil spillage and it all had to be cleaned up before they could move. I asked him if he could turn around but he said he was too close to the front of the queue and they were turning back people who tried. At no point was any water, food or assistance offered.

Nearly three hours later the oil was cleared up enough to reopen the road and he finally got moving at 7.30pm and arrived back to my parents' house at 9 10 p.m. Overall... Did they delay the meeting or they just call it off? You probably could have like dialed in if you're just sitting in the car. Overall he spent about eight hours static in the car. I myself cannot drive and thankfully so because if this happened to me I think I would have lost my patience and entered a the terror style madness about an hour in. I've never had a good reason

for not yet learning but as far as I know there has never been a train that got stuck for eight hours due to something being spilled although I would be happy to be proved otherwise on an an an an an an an an an an an an the the the the the the the the the the to. to. to. to. A to. A to. A to. A to be. A to be. A the the to be. A the the to be. A the th. A th. I'm to to to be. I'm th. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the. the the te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. tttttttrain that got stuck for eight hours due to something being spilled, although I would be happy to be proved otherwise on the segment. I feel like that could be well. Yeah. And they got to stop every time someone tops themselves on the line and that seems to be very very, it's very frequent. It is yes. We did that. We did that um taking a train in like near Munich, and it was the fucking coldest I've ever been in my entire life. And we just stopped and everyone got out of the train. No one told us what was going on. They just said, I'd be stand over here. And then like an hour later a bus arrived to take us to the next train station, sort of just skipping where the person's completely burst body sack has been left or whatever,

and then we hopped on a new train along our way. Go where you were going. Yeah. Don't you just say, Theo, that is the best voice and character work you have ever done on this nice. It felt like I was there. Quiet, quiet, offic German., the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, where, where, the person, where, the person, where, the person, where, where, the person, where, where the person, where the person, where the person, where the person, where the person, where the person, where the person, where, where the person, where the person, where the person, where the person, where the person, where the person, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the person, the the the the the the the person, the the the person, the person, the person, the the person, the person, the person, the person, where the person, the person, the person, Theo, that is the best voice and character work you have ever done on this podcast. That was nice. I felt like I was there. Quiet, quiet, officious German person. Oof, that was, you nailed it. I'm not being sarcastic. I'm being very sincere. That was beautiful. That was,

I was showing little but telling much. The letter continues, Anyway, this is why I was anxiously anticipating you mentioning the vegetable oil spill on the M25 in the episode. Although my father will never hear this, nor does he really understand what the podcasts I listen to are for. It still brightened my day to hear that his ordeal provided some entertainment to the tipping report fans around the globe. You know, it's sometimes so easy to forget that, you know, for us, it's just a single dot point in a Google document. In a tipping report? But for some people, it's nine hours of their day.

That's real life. The human impact of these stories. You should have just driven over it. You just got to be brave. You could have done a six-gearer to it and kept going to Shroplin. Just one car at a time. How like... Defensive driving. Like how windy is the road ahead? Because if it's straight, you... You're fine, just got to line it up.

Hold the wheel. The road is long, with many a winding turn. You know? What the f- What the way is that? What the song? It's a song. Yeah, I'm heavy. He's my brother. Yeah, okay. Love the show and best wishes to all of you. Cheers, Jamie.

Well, Jamie, I for one would like to say that if it gave us some content, I would gladly have your father stranded for nine hours a day. Yeah, I'll do it again. Three minutes of joy on a podcast that some people listen to. If imprisoning your father in a small box gets us even a single polite chuckle. We've done our job. I do, I do, it is, it is genuinely wild to me. Like I know that it's, it's always funny to us when people ride in from around the globe and we go,

huh? People listen to this thing, huh? Yeah. But it's, it was just fascinating to me to read something as incredibly abstracted as there was a giant vegetable oil spill on the M25. I thought of you. And that's someone who listens to this show, right? Oh, my dad was stuck in that.

Very funny. And if you've ever had your dad stuck in something that we've spoken about, please let us know. Right in to mail bag at Puntafusto.com. You know, I'm not talking about your mom. Just tell us what your dad's been stuck in. If your dad's been stuck in something, right in. So, uh, we have some other submissions to the mail bag this week. This comes to us from a listener who has chosen to remain anonymous for reasons of Dutchness. No, they're not Dutch. They're not Dutch, no. It'll become clear. It'll become clear. Someone I know just moved to the

Netherlands for work and told me that when you rent an apartment in the Netherlands you have to install your own floors and they expect you to take them with you when you move. No they don't. I told my girlfriend who couldn't believe it but she looked it up and it's true. When you rent to flatten the Netherlands a lot of the time they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll just they'll they'll to they'll just to to to their to to their to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. I I I I their. I. I. I. I. I their. I. I their. I. I their. I their. I their. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the told. told. told. told. I'll told. I'll to their true. When you rent a flat in the Netherlands, a lot of the time they'll just rent you a place with bare concrete floors and you have to buy your own flooring from IKEA. Now I don't think they legally mandate that you have to go to IKEA. I think they do. I think they do. You can't negotiate with the next tenant to see if they want to buy the floors. Thible the floor. the the the floors the floors the the floors their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th floor. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their floring. their floing. their floing. their floing. their floing. their floor. their their floor. their their floor.oing floor.oing. their their their their their their their their their their their 't just take a floor from place to place right? These are these are they're modular timber floors that you're putting down on top of a concrete floor. Yeah I mean I do think that most floors are relatively bespoke. Yeah. In shape size and location. I've never had a great. I actually I got this floor designed to fit exactly in the footprint of my apartment.

So you, did you do a little investigation into this pen? I did, yeah. So I mean, I think I might have done exactly the same level of investigation that this lovely person did when they had this conversation with their girlfriend, but, uh, I found a Reddit threat threat about this on th. th conversation with their girlfriend, but I found a Reddit threat about this on R Netherlands, where someone was asking, hey, what's the go with this? Is this real? A Reddit user called Pandora's Penguin, so random.

Most apartments meant for long-term renting come without flooring, but usually can agree with the current tenant to keep the floor in, often in exchange for money. Another user, I believe this is pronounced CLXOR, CL1XOR. Sure. I think it's pronounced Cluonsoor. Yeah, that sounds right. Clonicsor. It says, it's even weirder.

I had to remove my expensive wooden floor in my last apartment while the corporation was planning to only rent it for max a year to some student who probably would have loved a nice free floor. But yeah, regulations are regulations. Free floor is so funny. Every floor is free. Absolutely not. Oh, does the floor come with the apartment?

No. No. It's actually my dear friend of the show, my friend and boss Beck, has told me several times now that it is the norm in Canada for the fridge to come with rentals? Yeah, I've found a lot in America, like a fridge and a microwave. I think that's great. Why do I have to buy the fucking fridge? What's, what's the show? What's the American show?

I think they have like Euro versions and stuff too, where people are like house hunting? Oh, house hunters. Is it called a house hunters? I saw like a little bit of an episode of House Hunters recently and there were multiple things about it that were absolutely doing my head in. The first one was the concept of going to a real estate agent and saying, why don't you go and do a bunch of legwork for me and them saying, sure. Like, like to an Australian, that is

fucking insane. Yeah. Because for us, what we do is you go to a real estate agent and you say, I would like to rent this apartment and they say, why don't you give me a truckload of money and do all this fucking paperwork and then I'll say no at because there was 50 other people that applied for it. You have to use our weird proprietary rental application website where you have to enter everything four times. Yeah, and even in the case of like buying places here, let alone renting, you basically have to like front up and say, oh, I would love to give the owners 20% more than they're asking for. Instead, these people go to a real estate estate to to to to to to to to to their to their their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. We. Wea, the, the, the. Wea, theat, th. We'll theat, theat, their, their, their their their, their, their, their, their, oh I would love to give the owners 20% more than they're asking for. Instead, these people go to a real estate agent and they say,

I want a house by the lake and it has to have a hot tub and you have to be able to see the lake and like they list off all these fucking requirements and this person goes out and finds them all these places. But the thing that I think for me is the most weird is having these people go into these houses that have furniture in them and the husband, this couple just kept going, is it come with all the furniture? And they're like, no, that belongs to the person who lives here and he's like, oh, fuck that.

Yeah, it's a red strike. They like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. the that. the that. the that. the that. that. the that. that. the they. that. that's like, it. that's like, it. that. that. that. that. that's like, that's like, the that's like, that's like, that's th. th. the the the the the the that. that. that. the that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. there the. the. thea. thean. theananananananananananananananananan. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's for me. Yeah, yeah. I get that some of the appliances come with the house, like your oven, you know, things like that, your oven and your stove top and everything. But just the way this dude was just walking into a house with a whole bunch of dog shit furniture in it and he's like, can I have the furniture? And they're like, yeah, yeah, you can have this gingham couch and he's like, yes. That's right, this deals mindset. Out of the deal. Yeah. 40-year-old man in a polo shirt and cargo shorts going, yes, furniture I've never seen before.

Have you moved a couch though? It's not worth it. Hey, is that a, is that a fender strap? Is this thi? Come with this place? Oh, to squire? I I I I I I. But like, am I strangely particular that I would like to pick my own furniture? Yeah, no, 90% of couches are fucked up. Yeah, it's so weird. 99%. If you go on gum tree and you search for a couch, you will see a cavalcade of the most hideous pieces of furniture you have ever seen in life. I've th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, is, thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, am to come to come to come to come to come, am to come, am to, am to, am to, am to, am th. Am, am th. Am, am th. Am, am th. Am, am th. Is, am th. Is, am th. Is th. Is th. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, thi, is thatea, is that's thoooooooomoomoomoomoomoomorrow, is a thoooomoomoomorrow, is a thoomoomorrow, is a thi. Is the most hideous pieces of furniture you have ever seen in your life.

I've never bought a new couch. Why would you buy a new couch? Why would you buy a new couch? Why would you buy a new couch? That are from a market place or for free? Well, we were super lucky and we got one for half price and that was the only time that we would ever fucking been on my life. So we looked for so long to get a good couch, right? And you got to sit in everyone and you know straight away when you sit and it's like

like putting a shoe on, right? If there's any, any doubt, if you go, oh, nope, nope, no, yeah, get up. Walk away. You want a couch first and foremost that is nice to sit on. And yeah, we were... Can't be too soft on my back'll hurt. Yeah. We got it for half price, otherwise it would have been eye-wateringly expensive. And it is super fucked up to pay like five grand for a couch that sucks.

Yeah. We were a mugs game. We very recently, because my parents moved house to a smaller house. And so it meant that there was a whole bunch of furniture and stuff that they could not fit in their smaller house and we got a like modular sectional couch from them that they have had for I don't know I want to say at least 10 years and it's still so much nicer than any couch we've ever had. But it works well for us as well because like we got kids and shit, it's Scotch guarded. My friend, my friend was

freaking out the other day when he came around and I spilt something on the couch and then I just got a cloth and went eh and then it was gone as if by magic. I have never understood and still don't. Never understood what Scotchguard is... Me though. I think it's just like a type of sort of waterproofing layer kind of thing. That you can apply to fabrics and such. And it keeps Scotsman away.

You can Scotch guard, I think you can Scotch guard like clothes and various fabrics, clothes and shoes. I need to scotch scotch guard my damn child, what with all the ruckuses he's causing etc. So many ruckuses or rucki-eye if you were. It probably seems like you would need to scotch guard the things that he interacts with because the simpler to child. Like a cattle dip. Then it's on it's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just the the the the th. It's just th. It's just the th. It's just th. It's just th. It's just to to to to to to to to to the thi. It's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's the the th. It's the the the th. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. S. S. S. I. I the the th.the... Simpler to do the child. Yeah. Like a cattle dip. Then it's just once. It's just once. Just once, like a vaccine and we're sorted. You simply need one of those things that like, yeah, set up a cattle dip, just a depression

in the floor that you and Caitlin could step over, but Finn's little legs the tiped so he has to dip himself to dip himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself himself to to dip himself to dip himself card to come back out. He's so beautiful, how old is he? I'm, you know, about 20 months? Have you had him dipped yet? Has he been dipped? Oh, you're not getting dipped? You actually can't take him into New South Wales if he hasn't been dipped yet. Talking about it like their, you know, like a weird new age family, oh, they're not dipless. They're not dipless. They're not dipless. So I went I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm th, I'm, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, oh, thi, they're dipless. They don't dip their kids out of their anti-dipplis. So I went and got some bloods done the other day, because I thought I was getting old, but I went to the doctor and she's like, you're not getting old. Like, that's awesome. You are a man in your 30s. Anyway, have you not been to the

beach? 99% of beaches are fine. I just say, look. they. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. that. that. that. I, I, I, I, I, I, look. that. that. that. they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, hey, hey, hey, hey, they, they, they're they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they're, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. So, th. So, th. I, th. So, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi, I've theea, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've you. You look like you've never been to the beach. 99% of beaches are fine. I just say, look, 99% anyway, so I was looking at the fucking at the referral form and to like work out whether I need to make an appointment or whatever. No, it was on site, on the site looking at the different kinds of tests and whether you need to make an appointment. And they still do the fucking scotch tape on the kid's asshole and looking for worm eggs test?

Excuse me? Yeah, seriously, go to the pathology site and look for like a worm tape test. And so the theory is, you get your child who's acting out for no reason, and you go, maybe this fucking kid's got worms and you take a bit of scotch tape and you press it to the child's asshole, you pull it off, and then you submit that piece of scotch tape to the pathology department. And they tell you- You want my kid's butt tape? And they tell you whether or not your child's got worms. And I just think, why did you just fucking buy a worm and tablet? It was just a real pathologist.

Oh. This is, this was, this is S&P. Um, Sullivan, Nicoladie's pathology for those of you who don't live in Queensland. I have had described to me the method that was used for detecting worms. They'll come out at night time while you're asleep. And so my parents would be like, oh you just sneak in there while your kids are asleep with a torch and you have a little look at their butt hole and there's a bunch of worms going. Andrew would you believe this is not the first time you've described this process on the podcast? Yeah, I don't remember it. You should should you you you you you you you you you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll tha tha tha tha tha tha tha' the theee thea' thea' thea' to thea' to thea' all thea' all all thea' all thoooooooooooooo' all all th you've described this process on the podcast. Yeah, I don't remember it. You should tell you kids before you do that. So, before Andrew if you wake up, if you wake up and I'm shining a torch in your butt hole,

don't worry about it. Don't be scared about it. It's for health. I'm with you Theo. If there is if one of the kids is like boy I've had an itchy butthole for several days we- th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, if th, if th, if th, if th, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it's, if it's, if th, if the they thi, if tho, if you're tho, if you're tho, if tho, if I'll they, if I'll they, if I'll th, if I'll th, if I'll they, if I'll th, if I'll they, if I'll they, if I'll they, if I they, if I they, if I they, if I they, if I they, if I they, if I they, if I'll they, if I'll they, if you're they, if you're they, if you're they, if you're they's tho, if you're tho, if you're tho-I'll tho-I'll tho-I's tho-I's thi, if one of the kids is like, boy, I've had an itchy butthole for several days, we're like, cool, everybody have a worm tablet. Yeah, what's the worst? You're gonna have. It's fucking non-fatal. It's fine. Yeah, even dad's having wide while he's slipping itself with that accident. Absolutely, 100% it's chocolate flavored. It's a little bonus. I don't, we don't get the chocolate flavor. We the chocolate. We the chocolate. We. We. We. We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th. Yeah, it's th. Yeah, that, that's that, that's th. Yeah, that's just, th. Yeah, it's a that's a th. Yeah, it't know any misinformation for Andrew describing the process so I have just quickly googled S&P tape test or tape worm test here we go sicky tape test for pinworm collection notes during the night pinworm deposit their eggs in the area around your anus in this test you will use cellulose tape slide, like the one illustrated below, to collect

a sample that will be examined for the presence of pinworm eggs. You must perform this test directly after you or the person who you are administering the test toe. Uh, wake in the morning and you must not shower or wipe your anal region before you perform the test. Dirty buttholes only. If you've got a clean hole, you' to the to to to to the to to the to to to the to the to to the to the to the to the to to you perform the test. Dirty butt holes only. If you've got a clean hole, you've got to wait another day. Oh, don't clean that butt hole before you jam some tape onto it. Yeah.

Oh, damn. I hate to pull the curtain back. You're going to. Thanks. Thanks, T-Bird. Usually if we run over type to find something in the episode tooom. to. to. to. to. to. tooen. tooen. tooen. tooen. tooen. tooen. tooen, too. too. too. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, too, to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the, the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. the the, the, thi. the. thi. thea. to-s, to-s, to-a. to-s, to-a. to-nend to sort of find something in the episode to have, to take out to bring us back to about 60 minutes. And we did a pretty normal episode up to about the 59 minute mark, which is, you know, once you add in the theme songs, brings us to 60 minutes. We've spent the last eight and a half minutes on butthole worms.

Leave it in. And I'm not quite finished here. Leave it in. So yeah, we'll see what happens. That's all I'm saying. It's just, you know, come on. People know what podcast they're listening to. Come on.

And plus they might be. This is a free episode. They might be interesting. You should wear, not a must, you should wear surgical gloves during the test, only if you want to. Please do not use opaque sticky tape or wrap multiple layers of tape around the slide as both are unsuitable for microscopy. So, and then they've got some images there, they've got like a nice little, looks like a sticky paddle pop that you put in your bum.

Oh no, you loop this. Okay, so it's like a band-aid sort of strip with sticky tape on it, and you stick it to a tongue depressor. And then... All right, Ben, cut it. Step by. Press the gull. Bring the theme in.

I've sent, I've put the image from the history. It's like, it was a chat.