Boonta Vista - EPISODE 265: The Two Slur-Based Softball Games Of The Upper Peninsula Giant Mushroom Cult

Episode Date: September 15, 2022

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: A happy hour raccoon make-out session, a surprising tradition in the UP's largest mushroom cult, a mysterious case of missing petrol, a Dutch hurling expert, and the English obsession with phoning the police about garbage. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello, welcome to Pununtavista episode 265. Hello, welcome to Buntavista, episode 265. Fuck, I've already fucked it up. Mammu. Hello and welcome to Buntavista, episode 265. We're here at an emergency convening of the Australian Royalist Society of Expatriates, the only group whose membership immediately disqualifies you from dental cover under private health insurance. I'm Theo and I'm right buggered up about our dear Queen's parting.

I'm an adult man, and this is important to me for some reason. I'm aroused by cousins in the abstract, and I'm currently living out of my reliant robin. I've never met a Polish person, but if I did, all of my bones would contract and then crack simultaneously from the stress. Even though I moved to Australia after the divorce, the terms of my divorce means I'm still paying for me ex-wife's BBC license fee, which makes me so mad I often have to storm down to my basement and eat wet pastry until I calm down. I'm also here with Lucy, who is 96 years old.

Now, Lucy, you like to collect plates, spoons, boles, tiny tea cups with pictures of the queen the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the teors, tors, tors, teaurs, tors, tors, tors, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms terms terms terms terms terms terms terms terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, terms, teors, teors, teors, tea tea tea tea tea teaaaa teaaaaurseaaaa terms, terms, ter plates, spoons, bowls, tiny tea cups with pictures of the Queen on them. You're also the stupidest woman alive and you're deeply concerned that Australia becoming a republic will mean a complete ban on lamb's fry, which is your dinner for five out of seven nights a week. Hello, you must be absolutely heartbroken by the news. Oh, hello. You're all right, love. Oh, I'm alright. I'm right, devastated by the news of our Lizzie. What else can you say? Where are you from there, Theo? I've never heard an accent like yours before. I'm from Fable 2.

I'm from Fable 2. I'm from... I'm from... It's a Fable 2. Are you from Meets? I'm from... It's a Fable 2 voice. I was going to say this is maybe the first accent you have pulled up successfully and it is just exactly the peasant voice from one of the first Fable games. Your strongholder waits. I'm also here with Andrew who has been hit particularly hard by this loss. Your stronghold awaits. I'm also here with Andrew who has been hit particularly hard by this loss as the editor and predominant contributor to Royal Feet.Fextra Life.com. First of all, Andrew, thank you for your efforts in archiving the most beautiful and gracious footpicks of our dearly departed Lizzy.

This news must have hit you particularly hard. No? I've been crying non-stop for days. And it's coming in a particularly difficult time in my life because we've recently had to fundraise for expanded storage just to get the photos of Prince Charles's giant balloon feet onto the server. Oh. Now I was excited for you when I saw it to the photos of Prince Charles's giant balloon feet onto the server. Oh, now I was excited for you when I saw his horrific fingers that look like beef sausages left out in the sun. And you know, you see those fingers, you know he's got some disgusting piggies in those boots of his.

Well, gravity takes the blood downstairs, so if that's what it looks like up there, who knows what it's going to be like down there. Oh, this is just pooled wet meat. Finally, it's just, it's just, it's just, got fucked up fingers, folks. Just like, uh, his feet look like unbaked loaves of bread with five toenails lodged at intervals. Finally, with us sporting a shaved head in a barcode on the back of his neck, having only just arrived back from England, it's Ben, Agent 47 McLean. Ben, did you enjoy your trip? Was it business or pleasure?

It was both, actually, because I take a lot of pleasure in my business. I can't tell you specifically what I was doing over there, but I will tell you that it went very, very well. Yeah. It involved a butler's costume, a poison onion, a beef bourgeon, a beef bourge, beef bourge, what, beef bourgain, what is that called? Beef bourgeoisie? Beef bourgeoisie, oh, that can't be right. Whatever the thing is that sounds roughly like that.

About a beef Wellington. Yeah. I think you mean beef Wellington there, mate. And also a collapsible ladle that I had in a briefcase. You gotta keep your collapsible ladle in you. Just pulling that out, folding it, assembling it meticulously, spooting the poison onion into the beef, etc. Attaching your scope to your ladle. Silencing it.

Screen flashing red. It's silencing it. The one thing I didn't understand about your last trip was how you managed to fit that white fiat you know inside of a briefcase. How old is Agent 47? Oh, how old is Agent 47? Oh, sort of timeless. Yeah. I think it follows Assassin's Creed rules. There was an Agent 47 walking around the streets of Crete at some point.

Honestly, hats off to the Royals. Well, you've got who, don't you? Legally, yes. Legally, yes. You legally master that'll throw you in the, they call it the brig? They have absolutely been arresting the fuck out of anybody who has said anything, even remotely untoward at any public event. Who's the one where the police are like chasing up a thing about two soccer teams? Playing, like a soccer game in the immediate aftermath of the, uh,

the queen died. I don't know if we've mentioned that yet. And it was nothing to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do th tho the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho tho the thoes a their thoes a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their a their a their a their a their a their a their a the've mentioned that yet. The Queen's dead. And it was nothing to do with Ben. On Andrew's birthday. We actually announced it first six months ago. We did. It's true. Yeah, when she actually died. Mainstream news is just catching up with us now.

Yep, happened on my birthday, dreams do come true. Blue out all my candles at once, you know. And hers. Her last single sputtering candle. Oh man. I was going to say, hats off to the Royals because they've done a fantastic job of really easing us into this idea over the last six months or whatever, where they were just like. The Queen, uh, gave a test run. The Queen won't be coming to bingo tonight as she has been cryogenically suspended.

Hey, if the Queen did die, how do you guys feel that? How do you feel about that? Yes or no? She's alive? She's definitely a hundred percent alive. You can't see her. But what if I told you Prince Charles is king now? I'm just kidding.

Just kidding well. Just so funny to be like, yes, yes, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th. She's half th. She's half th. She's half is half. She's half. She's half. She's the the the the the the the the the the th. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's half th. She's half the is theeeeeeeeee's half theeeee's half theeee's half thee's half theee's half the the's half the's the Prince Charles's king now? I'm just seeing, try and check people immediately. Just like what if? Just so funny to be like, yes, our like extremely ancient wizened old queen is dead. It's time for a new start with this guy who was immediately about to die. I am, I, I sent photos of Prince Charles's hands to my mother. So I was like, what the fuck is going on here? What she say? Well, she said he's not going to be on the throne as long as old Lizzy was.

No, probably have to get up and walk around, otherwise you get bed sores. But yeah, she was saying it is a, it is a thing that is reflective of an underlying health condition as opposed to the health condition itself, you know? Let me see what she said. What did mummy say? Mommy said, I said, what is this? Some kind of super gout? And she said, he won't be on the throne as long as mummy.

They look like the hands of a much fatter man. She said, edema is the answer, but why is the question? Poor lymphatic drainage, kidney issues could be lots of things. It's weird that his ring still fits. And I think that's more of a, you're not getting that ring off, that's a low-bearing ring. The ring resized to a complex fingers. And if you're listening to this and you have those fingers. Sorry. I'm sorry about the opening the podcast. It's cool when you do it. Yeah if you're someone we like I love your fingers. If you're listening to this show, I love your fingers. I mean I've just I know we're kind of ratting on the the the the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the the the to to to the the to the to the the the the to to the to to things. I to to things. I'll to to to things. I'll. I'll to to to to to come. I'll. I'll to come. I'll to come. I'll to come. I'll to come. I'll to come. I'll to come. I'll to to to to to to to to to to come. I'll to come. I'll to come. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll fingers. I've just I've just I know we kind of we're kind of ratting on the transition a little bit but I think it's gonna be a

bit a bit smoother than you might think I've just checked on wiki feet Queen Elizabeth gets a two and a half okay feet out of five. I didn't know Wikifede had a quality component. You want some wiki Feet? Oh, people are on there right in those bad boys. I thought WikiFeed just... Or any of you on there? It's just the size. Oh, I hope no. And then... I'd be so scandal I've been some, I'm some.

I'm so thrown. thin'a'n't That's a porn star named Lucy Valentine. Yes, and she's not just showing her feet, it turns out. Oh. Yeah, but the funny thing is for that Lucy Valentine, it's probably a pseudonym. Oh, thank goodness. There are no results for Andrew Law wiki feet. Is there a porn star called Andrew Lord? I wouldn't be surprised. I didn't like it when that Instagram account would like... Posted your feet? Yeah, it was posting my feet all the time.

Yeah, and captioning it like, yum! Yeah, especially because it was a screenshot of you putting your foot in a toilet. Yeah, I don't want to victim blame here or anything. Holding a knife with him. You did post him. Yeah, I, like, I think it was also slightly more unsettling because he made like photo collages, you know, and he put together pictures of like, uh, that, you know, your face and your upper body and then it would be surrounded by a bunch of pictures of your feet. And he'd always tag me on Instagram. I was like, I don't like that. At a certain point I reported it to Instagram and said, these are my photos. Yeah. And they went, wait

a second, these are my beautiful feet. I want this guy to recognize him anywhere. Yeah, my little piggies, you know. Speaking of little piggies and also nature running its course all over the Queen. It's time for Nature Corner. Country Roads take me home to the place. I belong. Who to the place? Who will take a sown. Nature corner? It's rather long, Bultonistor, Nature Corner, Robocrat, Snipped my dear. This comes to us from the Associated Press.

Hey, there's thee of the tip. This comes to us from the Associated Press. Hey, speaking of nature, uh... Oh, there she goes. All right, the cat was standing outside the door, which was open, waiting just until I put it on the latch, and then she was like, I got to get through that door. So I let it through the door, she came in and has immediately left the room. That's some catchy. That's what we call cat style.

This comes to us from the Associated Press. Rabeas Alert issued over raccoon taken into North Dakota bar. Come on now. Maybe it's a support raccoon. Hmm. A woman walked into a North Dakota bar carrying a raccoon, leading health officials to warn those who had contact with the animal about possible rabies exposure and to explain

that they were not beginning a joke. I think, I feel like the AP writer there might have specifically phrased that opening sentence in the most awkward way possible to try and put it into joke cadence, which just meant I to read it like three times. Yeah. You've got to, um, you've got a really, I think if you want to do that format in a new story, you really got to labor the point. You've got to be like, I've heard of a woman walking into a bar, but a raccoon. Yeah, a raccoon. Yeah, that, that, that, that, that thain. th. th. th. th. the. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th- th- th- th-a, th- thin, thin, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, you th th thr- thr- th th th th th th th th th th th th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thin, thin, thr-in, thr-a' thr-a' thrown, thr-a' thr-a' thr-a' thrown, thr-a' thr. You should have written this. She'd get a copywriter.

Bartender Cindy Smith said she was serving drinks at the Maddox bar last week when a local resident bought in the animal during Happy Hour. There were about 10 people in the saloon at the time, she said. Getting his half-price cocktails. Yeah, that's a nice bit of flavor. She brought it in during a happy hour. Me and my friend here want to wad our whistles. Smith said she immediately asked the woman to leave. Uh-huh. Higher, get out.

Would you like to look at my raccoon? No. She asked a woman to leave. But instead, she took the raccoon around the bar to show another customer. The woman eventually departed with the animal after about five minutes. We finally got her out with it, and that's all that happened, Smith told the Bismarck Tribune. It never left her arms one time and there was absolutely no biting. Little, little suss.

Yeah, bit defensive on that one. Yeah. Yeah. So you're you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you's th definitely, th. Definitely, th. Definitely, th. Definitely, th, th, th, tha, th, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thia' the the woman the woman, the woman eventually the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman, the woman the woman the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman, tha. So, tha. So, tha. So, tha. So, thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. So you're saying that. So you're saying that. So you're saying, that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that one. Yeah, yeah. So you're saying definitely nobody got bitten? Okay. Madik is a town of about 500 people located about 85 miles or 137 kilometers for those who don't speak the Queen's distance-ish from the Canadian border. Rabeas is a viral infection that affects mammals including humans. In an alert issued Tuesday, North Dakota's Health and Human Services Department is asking anyone who may have been bitten or had contact with the racoon saliva to seek medical care. So if you were bitten or did you maybe kiss the raccoon on the mouth?

Maybe had a too, a few too many half-price cosmos there. Maybe we're a little too specific. No biting. Nobody was bitten by the raccoon. Definitely no biting. How many people in this bar? It's only 500 people in town. So yeah, if there's 10 people in the bar.

There's one bartender. So yeah, if there's 10 people in the bar, oh there are 10 customers in the bar, there's one bartender. Either way, we're looking at a like full 5%? Nope. Yeah. Yeah. We need to feel it for this one. Yeah.

You guys have seen those shows they've got in America where like, I don't know. Like, it's a small town, right? And everyone goes to the bar. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh seen those shows they've got in America where like, I don't know, like it's a small town, right? And everyone goes to the bar every day after work and they're like, hey preach, hit me with a beer. I think I'm specifically thinking of Virgin River, maybe. Not familiar with that. Anyway, they all head to the pub except this time they're trying to work out, oh, who their their their their their their their their they're their their they're their they're their they're their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, they're, tho, tho, tho, tho, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, th. they're, they're, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... And, tha, tha, they all head to the pub except this time they're trying to work out, who got their pussy ate at the pub by a rabid raccoon? A nasty little raccoon. And that kind of secret, that doesn't stay,

that doesn't say secret for long in a small town like this. That would be a lot of the town's population. That would be a hot gossip of the town's population sees you get your pussy eaten by a raccoon, it's not long until the other 98% hear about it. Only 500 people, you know. That story is going to spread like rabies is such a serious disease with a nearly 100% fatality rate, we are making this information available to the public as a precautionary measure, epidemiologist Amanda Bacchin said in a statement.

But is that like if left untreated? Yeah, I was going to say that's not true, because you can treat it. For some reason, you can treat rabies. Yeah, the thing, the thing I have heard about in the past, you know how you hear a thing one time and then your brain goes, that's it, that's the one fact I need. And by fact I mean a thing someone said, out out, thua, thia, thu, thu, thu, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, they, they, they, thin, they, that's, thin, they, thin, they thin, they thin, like, yeah, you can get treated for rabies, but you have to get like these big needles in your stomach. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, that's the thing I remember.

Just go get a needle. Give me anything, Doc. You can have a little rabies. Wack anything in there. Six rabbit animals have been reported in North Dakota this year, including two bats, two cats, one bovine and one skunk. We're putting together the worst arc you've ever seen. Said Smith, I have no idea what she was thinking. Fair enough.

I tracked this lady down. Where'd you get the raccoon? Where did you get that thing? I'm eating your pussy? Just walking into happy hour, kicking the saloon style doors open even though that certainly wasn't because it's North Dakota and it's fucking freezing. But imagine they are. Kicking them open because your hands, both of them are occupied with trying to hold back the feral raccoon you have to believe in your pet. The bartender sees you and says, fuck off, get your raccoon out of here, and you go, absolutely, real quick.

Walking around to the other side of the bar to the one person you decide you have to show it to, spending another five minutes letting to raccoon make out with everyone that's drug. And then be like, all right, I guess I can tell what I'm not wanted. Walking out again struggling to maintain a hold on your feral raccoon. And then putting everyone into, I assume, the quarantine tube from ET. Yep, being told to leave and saying, that's what all the other bartenders said. I get that every day, five times a day. Got a real anti-racoon situation happening in this town, huh?

My goodness. Hey, maybe having a pet raccoon that you take to bars is a regional thing in America, because that certainly does sound like some regional bullshit. It's time for regional bullshit. Regional bullshit. Regional bullshit. Regional bullshit. Every little town has got their own bullshit.

Regional bullshit. Every little town has just got to happen. So this is from a story that was sent into us by the Twitter user Zach Niceman. Now, this might be one of those internet pseudonyms I've heard so much about all this throwne. All this person's IRL real life name is Zach Niceman. But thank you very much for sending this in. So, uh, all this person's IRL real-life name is Zach nice man but thank you very much Zach sending this in so this is in relation to us talking about the strange Upper Peninsula Michigan Festival Cheeseburger in Caseville and and Zach was like, hey if you like that check this fucking shit out so this is a story from the Iron Mountain Daily News also in Upper

Peninsula Michigan honoring a mighty mushroom okay allow me to explain not talk about toad or anything no no I don't think he's that mighty anyway. The city of Crystal Falls this weekend will play host to one of the Upper Peninsula's most unique festivals. The 31st annual Humongous Fungus Fest kicks off Friday. Yes, hell yes. All right, that I'm on with it. They clearly had the name first and then they worked backwards from there and you know what? I respect it. I want to see if I can get a sticker. Like, yeah.

I got a friend who would absolutely love a humongous Fungus Fest sticker. This is of course not to be confused with Fungus Amongst Fest, the festival dedicated to the Incubus album. The 31st annual Humongus Fungus Fist kicks off Friday with events, the events, th.n, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I'm the, I'm th, I, I, I'm the, I'm the, I'm thi, Ito the incubus album. The 31st annual humongous fungus fest kicks off Friday with events running through Saturday evening. We've actually, we've just missed it, I'm afraid. The armillaria gallica, which covers 37 plus subterranean acres, was discovered in 1992 near Crystal Falls. Since that time, the community has celebrated the more than 1,500-year-old living organism which weighs an estimated 100 tons. What? Excuse me? Pardon? What do you mean? So the humongous fungus that they

worship, sorry that they celebrate at the festival. I mean you're worshipping it at this point. Yeah that you sacrifice tourist to every year. We all put on our festival robes and we go down and celebrate the mushroom. Yeah, by feeding German backpackers to it. So it's a 37 plus acre, 100 ton, 1,500 year old, single continuous fungus. Oh, that rules. I love it. Yammy. Isn't that fucking amazing? I love these mushrooms.

Like sometimes they'll, um, sometimes they're not even like in the one place, so they'll be, you know, kilometers apart, but they all go underground to the same fungus mass underneath. Subterranean mycelium networks, things of that nature. What's it doing down there? It's planning. It's biting its time. It's not not in. It's their. It's their. It's not in. It's not in. It's not in. It's not in. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's not in. It's their. It's their fungus. Suhususususususususususususus. Sueususususus. Sux. Sueusus. Suction. Suction. Suiususususususususususus. Suius. Suius. Suius. Suius mass. S. S. I thi of that nature. What's it doing down there? It's planning. It's biting its time. It's not in a hurry. I'm looking at the Crystal Falls Business Association event calendar at the moment. And so the day before the festival there is a mushroom foray when you pay $60 per person non-refundable you get a lecture along with Forest Edicate and a mushroom foray. When you pay $60 per person non-refundable, you

get a lecture along with Forest Edicate and a mushroom foray. They will take you out to go and gather some mushrooms in the woods and stuff. This is followed by the Humongous Fungus Fest where you get citywide rummage sales all weekend, sidewalk chalk for drawing on sidewalks all weekend. Friday we get a Crystal Falls library book sale and Troy Graham concert. A parade at 6 p.m. Now I want to know what the humongous fungus fest parade looks like. Quite desperately, I think. Me too. This seems like a delight. Mushrooms I assume. Saturday we get the mushroom foyer in the morning, pre-saint I've required.

The mushroom foyer? One-thirty p.m. mushroom cookoff at Harbour House. And then the Crystal Theatre, the humongous, fungus, among us, film screening, two p.m. and 7 p.m. with producer Tim Wanamon. You have certainly plowed through half my notes at this point. I would love to go there. I want to go there. So, okay, so you're going out there and you're fetching mushrooms, you're eating the mushrooms? And are these mushrooms?

And are these mushrooms? the mushroom? No. Are the mushroom? the thin. I'm. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus. th. thus. thus. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. that. that. that. that, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to. I. to. to. to. to. that. that................................................................................................................ We're not allowed to eat the mushroom. I mean, of the mushroom, I would say. Part of the mushroom foray, led by Tavis Lynch of Cumberland, Wisconsin, is that he's showing you which ones you are, you can and can't eat, which I think are probably more are allowed to and are not allowed to eat, according to their ancient mushroom laws.

I had another quote here that I want to share just because, I don't know, something about the sentence really good. So this is a little snippet from an article from W.L.U.C. L.U.C. the Luk. Like I said, growing mushrooms are popular across the UP and northern Wisconsin, but a unique niche exists in Crystal Falls. Quote, it is because we have a 38-acre giant fungus that was discovered about 30 years ago, Luck said.

Quote, no, sorry, she continues, that is the draw that there is a giant fungus among us, and not everybody has that. I think they're worshipping the fungus. I the fungus. I the fungus. I the fungus. I the fungus. I the fungus. I the fungus. I thi, I thi thi thi thi thi thi, and I thi thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and thi, and thi, and northern, and northern, and northern, and northern, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin thin thin thin, and thin, and thin, and thin, and thinus, and theean, and thinus, and thiiiiiii, and thi, and thi thi thi the draw that there is a giant fungus among us and not everybody has that. I think they're worshipping the fungus. I think the fungus has power here. It sounds a lot like that. As Andrew was saying, there's a ton of events on for the weekend. Some of the other ones they have are a performance by the Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers cover band The Insiders. Hell yes. Okay. Pretty exciting. Well it's they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they're they're they Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers cover band The Insiders. Hell yes. Okay. Pretty exciting. Well, it'd be hard to get Tom Petty for it this year, I think.

It would be. They have the mushroom cookoff. They have the pie social. Okay. They have the Kids Ninja Warrior Parcore obstacle course. They have the... I hope it's really badly put together. Getting six-year-olds up there on like a 12-foot high milk crate challenge. Another kid died. Guess we'll have to go out to

the forest to bury him. Yep. What a shame. You just love lovingly lay him down on top of the mushroom which then absorbs him in. Sucks all the nutrients out. Yeah. Hey John, how much biomass is that? How much protein exactly is there in a 25 kilo child? We need bigger kids on the Ninja Warrior Park or obstacle course. We've got to see if we can get the actual Ninja Warrior show to come but not bring any

cameras. Would you guys be into that? And we have the North Country Cruises Car Show. And of course, last but not least, we have the Finn versus Polack softball game. What do you mean? Now I gotta admit that does read kind of funny. Yeah now let me explain. I want to work out whether they use a round or a square ball. I really wanted to know what this meant as well. I was like, oh maybe they just have two local teams the call guys. So I googled the phrase Finn versus Polack softball game thinking

maybe this is like a weird, you know like how those some parts of the Midwest in America have a lot of like Scandinavian immigrants and stuff so I was like, I don't know, maybe there's some weird shit happening there. The first result, if you Google that phrase, takes you to the comments of a Facebook post by the Crystal Falls Business Association, who are the people that organize the humongous fungus festival. The post itself is a photo of the schedule of events of the 57th annual Crystal Falls Bass Festival, which is another festival they organized, took place in June this year. I'm going to read the comments out to you first.

This is first a comment from a woman named Amanda Rasmah. Oh my god. Now Amanda says, looks like a great weekend. However, can anyone help me to understand why it's considered okay to use what is commonly known as such an offensive term for the softball game? Pardon? Now, you might at this stage think she is talking about the usage of the term Polack in Finn versus Polack softball game, because that is a derogatory slur towards Polish people.

Oh, okay. So that's not the racial, well, sorry, I might have given away the game there. That's not the derogatory term that they're referring to. Here is the response from the Crystal Falls Business Association. It has never been considered offensive with the Italians and the Swedes that created it. We have the Fid-Polak game during Fungus Fest. These games have been that for well over 60 plus years.

It's considered tradition here for them to be called it. It's not going to change. When first started, you had to be 100% it. Then it changed over the years. There is even an age limit on if you can play or not. The event to which he is referring is the 730pm event on the Saturday of the 57th annual Bass Festival. It is the Wops versus Swede softball game. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my goodness. Now look, I know we make Italian jokes sometimes and everything. And I don't want to tell anyone. I was hoping that people would just forget about that for a little bit. Look, what the time we could come into this being that we would never. It's just useful if we want to take the high ground occasionally. Well, all I was going to say was, I don't want to, you know, presume to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't be offended by it, but some slows are old enough that they get a little inherently funny.

Mm-hmm. I, like, I'm trying to imagine hearing somebody call somebody else a whop out of public. It's really old-timey, huh? It's so old-timey. It's still, it doesn't feel good. Oh, look, like I said, I'm not telling anybody out there that it's supposed to feel good or funny if someone were to say that to you but hearing out loud that they're calling it.

I'm just being like what's the problem? That's the name of their softball game. Oh my god you should see the rest of the comments. Everyone replying to Amanda just being like, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. It's been called that for so long. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's the the the the the th. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. It's the the the their. It's the the their. It's the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the the the the. It's the the the the. It's the. It's the the. It's the the. It's our tradition here in the humongous fungus festival. The mushroom tells us that it's perfectly fun to call them our times. He says it's fun. Yeah. And anyway, next week we've got the Orientals versus the Indochinese. He's one-third Portini. God damn. God damn.

That's special. What a thing to call a baseball game. You can't do that. Why have they got two? I think it should be a crime. Two Rachel slur baseball games. Yeah, you're going to have to narrow it down. Which one?

Just love that. So it's the... Was the other one a baseball game or... Oh no, they're both softball, sorry. No, they're all, they're both softball games. Be interesting if they had their other racial slur, tea ball game in the mix. Hello, it's me. Ben, from this podcast. Merriam Webster defines a podcast as a program made available in digital format for automatic download over the internet, and that simply could not be more true. If you like what we do and want more of this podcast made available to you in digital format

for automatic download over the internet, simply go to Patreon. to the enormous red button that says subscribe. For five US dollars a month you get access to our weekly bonus episodes, our entire archive of bonus episodes, our exclusive Discord server, and an RSS feed of both the bonus episodes and free episodes that doesn't have these ads in them. That sweet, sweet subscriber cash allows me to do this show full-time without having to get a real job, and frankly, that whips to me. The other guys also get some money or whatever, but I don't really care. Anyway, check that, check that, check that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. thus thus thus thus thus thus thus. thi. thi. thoo-a. to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to too. too. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo check that out if it sounds good to you. Love you. Well, like Lucy said before you guys said about silencing a woman. Two slows in one baseball game title. Some kind of

crime. It's time for crime watch. Please put down your weapon. You are a direct violation of the game. 1369. You now have five seconds to fly. You're a direct violation of Code 113 section 9. You now have five seconds to try. Hey, help me! Help me! Help me! I'm not all the way! This comes to us from KG TV in San Diego.

The Cooge de V. That's right. Carl's Bad Woman discovers gas siph. This comes to us from KGTV in San Diego. The Coovese. That's right. This comes to us from KG TV in San Diego, the Kuzdiv. That's right. Carl's Bad Woman discovers gas siphoning device under her car. It's one place to put it.

It's probably to siphon gas with. Yeah. Yep. Amber Nelson says she smelled gas under her car at her home, but that was only the beginning. I mean, great news to his article. Great writing, love it. I'm already on board. I'm interested. You cannot make a whole article out of Amber Nelson says she smelled gas under her car. No, there had to be a follow-up. You got to go somewhere.

Often cars get petrol on them, so they're going to smell like petrol. Sometimes they smell, yeah. petrol over the time. Quote, then I backed up and saw some gas dripping. Then I looked underneath and saw this contraption, says Nelson, who lives in Carlsbad. It was a homemade tube, she says, was drilled into her gas tank. Yes, someone was stealing gas right out from underneath her. I was scared because I thought something had happened to the car. I know my vehicle well enough to know things are not sticking out from underneath, she added. That's car 101.

That's the main measure of knowing your car. You're going to know if things stick out from underneath on your vehicle. Or at least you've got to be aware of it for some length of time. Oh, that that thing thing thing thing thing thing thing th thing th thing th thing th thing th thing th thing th thing th thing th thing th th th th th th th th. Yeah, yeah th. Yeah, yeah th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. thi. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. theeeeea. theea. theea. theeea. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. th. you've got to be aware of it for some length of time. Oh that thing? Yeah that's always been there. You know. This is this is very interesting though, like someone who has attached their own external thing to the car that absolutely rules. That's not just come and take it? Like. This is not some rookie shit where you are rolling up with a bit of hose and getting it into a tank for yourself and then closing the petrol cap again. Nelson says as soon as she discovered the device, she called the police and they showed

up right away. Sounds like a load of shit but alright. They showed up two days later. Nothing else going on. But after filing a police report, officers told her there was nothing they could do. Now that sounds like the cops. Yeah. Quote, they were puzzled.

That sounds like the cop. Everyone was puzzled. What is it? the sort of tube? They finally pulled it out to see what it was. It was taped with electrical tape, Nelson says. She couldn't figure out why she had to fill up her tank every three days, even though her commute to work is only 10 minutes.

It's so weird that one tank of petrol lasts me a single day. I go out to my car in the morning. You only just figured it out? It's so weird that one tank of petrol lasts me a single day. I go out to my car in the morning, it's empty. And what's this fucking thing? Now this? So when I first read this story, I thought she was suggesting that the people had been coming around to her house every night using the tube to siphon more out for the existing tube, as opposed

to just she's been driving around while her car is leaking petrol. It's just leaking petrol? What were they, why are they, what's the point of this? No, I'm reading this. They put the tube in to do it once, right, to steal the petrol and then they've just gone, well, I I I I I they don't the they don't they don't the the they're just just just just just their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, I their, I their, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their................. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the. the. too. too. too. too. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tube. tooe. too. petrol and then they've just gone well I don't need to clean up I'm a criminal. No but but she's been filling the car up like I'm it says it says it was a homemade tube that she says was drilled into her gas tank yeah and that it was a thing that was under the car right so like so we're all picturing standard siphoning

as you open the petrol cap and you stick a hose down. So it's not just somebody who was doing that, it's somebody who's like made a hole in her petrol tank and stuck a hose into it. And it's, yes. Well, he probably doesn't want to do the first suck. Well, imagine though, if you did have that and you could just like, like, like, like, the the to to to to to the to to to to to to the to, to, to, to, the to, to, the to, to, to, to, to, the to, to, to, the to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they....... th. the. the. tho, tho, toe. tooooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, too, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, toe. toe. the. toe. to do the first suck. Well imagine though if you did have that and you could just like pop a cork out of the end of it and run it straight into your little Jerry can? I mean yeah that's... You think he's popping over an empty thing? I think he's only done at the once and then he's just left the

hose there but now because of gravity if you did this... If you did this... if you did this... the the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the tube. If you live in Carlsbad and you're siphoning petrol on Amber Nelson's car, it was the call. We'd like to know a few things. Like I mean I could see maybe he's doing infrastructure investment by putting tubes in several cars and then doing nightly rounds of putting a tray underneath. No, I see what you're saying though. Ben, then reaping. Yeah, I see what you're saying though. Like a farmer sawing his seeds and then reaping. Yeah, I see what you're saying though, Ben, which is potentially, much like the catalytic converter theft that we're so fond of, where it does require you to actually like jack up a car, get under it with an angle grinder and take a whole piece of it out. Like it's a proper move. But in this case, it makes me wonder, like,

even if you were doing it once and never coming back, if it would just be easier to drill into a petrol tank from underneath than it would to get through the cap and then the, you know, you know, there's a little suck it. That's 100% what it is. Whereas you don't have to suck it this way. Like gravity, do it's like... Suck free, yeah.

Yeah. It's like a, it's a really common thing in the US at the moment. I see stories about this like every week of people getting there. Oh, well, this having it harder to steal it which is we're living in the Mad Max future now. Plus as people gets more expensive gives you potential for arbitrage right? Well because you want to buy you want to buy low or free if you can get it and then sell and then sell high and plus the benefit is if you're underneath the car

drilling the hole in the petrol tank, why don't you just reach on over? You grab your battery-powered angle grinder. Yeah. And you take that catalytic converter. You roll off, you've got 40 liters of petrol at the pub, you've got 40 liters of petrol at the pub, tax-free, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I imagine that's the way most people are doing.

You also probably want to get your gas guy to be your catalytic converter guy as well? Yes. Save your, save you making two trips. You really want to find someone with no compunctions whatsoever because they're going to not ask any questions about the used gasoline and the catalytic converter with birdmarks from your terrible angle grinding. So Ben just coming back to what you were saying I completely agree that this really does paint the Mad Max future right like so we're now at a point where there are two features on American cars that they are having to that that that that that that thi that that the that the the that the that that the the that the the thi the the thi the thi thi the thi the thi the thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi the the thi. I thi. I thi thi thi thi the the their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi teeeeateateateateateateateateateateate. teateateate. teateate. teate. teateate. t so we're now at a point where there are two features on American cars that they are having to armor plate in order to stop people from taking a precious resource

from the person who wants the car. Yes, the precious metal and the precious liquid. Yeah, the gasoline, the take them a guzzoline. And the platinum. And so, so they're clearly starting to like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their their the, their their the guzzoline they take him a guzzoline and my platinum and the platen and so so they're clearly starting to like shield the underneath of the car to protect these components and precious liquids Which thing do you think will be next to need to be reinforced in some way? Like I mean, they've already started fixing like the steering columns that make Hyundai's kids so easy to steal. Yeah, but that's kind of the whole car. That's a bit of a bit of a horse barn door situation.

I think the next thing's gonna be blood. They're gonna be stealing blood from your car. So just be careful when you sit down, you want to check for syringes. Yeah you want to check for for bloodlines. See if you're not being harvested on the sly. You want to check if there's a flabotomist in your car get the fuck out of there. I need to double check that that's what a flobotomus is. Yeah sounds about right. Just to be safe. Yeah just just check before and after the amount of blood you have. And just a little bit of quick maths. How pale and listless do you feel when you get out of your cabaret?

You might be having your blood cypheed by thieves. Um, my goodness. I, look, just to be safe, make sure that you are checking your back seat before you get into the car, because you don't want that situation where you get nice and relax in the driver's seat and then you adjust your rear vision mirror as one does, bringing into view the vampiric figure behind you, who then immediately plunges that syringe in your neck. It's just a vampiric, but he's got a syringe too. Well, he wants wants to to keep to keep to keep. It's just... It's just... It's just... Well, he wants to keep some for later. Or he's selling as well. He can't, he can't, he's not just going to store it all in his cheeks.

Don't be silly. I mean, I'm guessing that the syringe is more for something to put you out so vampire and you inject somebody with a sedative and then you drink that blood, are you also immediately going out? Maybe? You better have taken a bit of blood at a time, and someone is asleep. Just a little bit out of the arm, a few vials. You don't need it. You'll come back, it'll grow back. Now Andrew you are, um, you know, obviously a very valid safety tip. You've got to check your back seats sort of it's reminded me that we haven't we've we really haven't been on the check for sort of like a Hell Mary kind of situation you know like you check your mirror there she is she's

there she's there you didn't say Hell Mary three times before midnight the night before or whatever it is and now she's gonna drag you to to th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the Mary three times before midnight, the night before or whatever it is, and now she's going to drag you to hell where she lives. That's where she gets her name from. So be on the lookout for that as well. I thought all of those ones were based on you saying it three times, not from you neglecting to say it three times. Who didn't say it. All right, so what we're warning people of is to check your rear view mirror for hell, the hell, merry? Hell Mary?

A vampire, and also for the immobilizer. Those are the three things you're going to want to check your rear view mirror for any time you get in or out of your car. Maybe if you're donating blood in one of those blood vans, uh, asked to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. to be, to be a, to bea, their, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. to. to see someone's badge. Yeah, and if you're purchasing a car, you don't want to purchase it at night or in the rain because actually RECQ will check or RECV or wherever it is that you are, we'll check for Hell Mary if you can afford. So Theo's talking about Bloody Mary. Yeah. No, I think Theo sort of invented his own thing.

You don't say your name three times. Hold on everybody, let's just get it from, let's get it from Wikipedia here, the source of all truth. The name must be uttered 13 times. What? Oh, that's too many. Ain't nobody got time for that. You guys remember that?

Yeah. The internet? Yeah. In the ritual today, Bloody Mary allegedly appears to individuals or groups who ritualistically invoke her name in an act of Catophtramancy. Oh. Which is divination using a mirror? Ah.

Oh. So the name must be out of 13 times or some other specified number of times. The bloody merry apparition allegedly appears as a corpse, which or ghost that can be friendly or evil. Not options, not a combination there. I want to know. 50-50? You just got to take the risk.

That's a hell of a coin flip. It's sometimes seen covered in blood, hence the name. The law surrounding a ritual states the participants may endure the apparition screaming at them, cursing them, strangling them, stealing their soul, drinking their blood, and their blood, or scratching their eyes out. Some variations of the ritual called Bloody Mary by a different name, Hell Mary and Mary and Mary worth are popular examples. See, I don't think it too about Hell Mary. You don't. You just got, you're misremembered, and now you're really committing to it.

I think that's beautiful. Do you think he quickly edited Wikipedia and sent that to me? Well, no, I think- What kind of coincidence would that be, Ben? You are not extending me even the most compuncturing amount of... Explain these rules to me. Explain the matter of Hell Mary. So every single person alive has to say Hell Mary three times before midnight every day? Ideally you don't. No.

You don't say it. I'm just saying you're leaving yourself open to risk. No, you're, so you're pos it a completely opposite version of this thing Where you have to say it or it will happen to you as opposed to if you do say it it will happen to you I'm just telling you what the doctor told me the doctor did not tell you anything you might be remembering the plot of the movie Hell Mary from 2012 which only exists as an IMDB entry and apparently not as an actual movie. That doesn't seem like the kind of movie the theo would have seen.

No. No. To be perfectly honest. Oh boy, a mysterious and grotesque figure appearing to shout expletives and vomit by all at you? Are we talking about Bloody Mary or Hell Mary or a Dutch person to come and work at a clinic in the Netherlands? Let's find out in Netherlands corner.

Everybody, I'm from Holland. Isn't that beer? It's pretty weird. This is from NL Times. NL. Where are we ranking them, Ben? Second best. Second best, English language Dutch news service in the world. All right. It's our power rankings right there, folks. Epstadam Phobia Clinic seeks employee to vomit on command. That's a unique skill. I wonder what that could be for. Oh boy. A phobia clinic in Amsterdam has opened applications for an employee who is able to vomit at will.

So far around a hundred people have showed interest in the who is able to vomit at will. So far around 100 people have showed interest in the position, according to AT5. Kinned clinics in Amsterdam deals with people who have anxiety, phobias or PTSD according to its website. Its specialists treat phobias such as fear of heights, aversion to needles and claustrophobia, for example. Now, this already sounds like just immersion therapy yeah. They're doing exposure therapy. Yes for people that

have ametophobia in it I don't actually know how to pronounce that but. And is does anybody have any kind of familiarity with whether or not this is even remotely successful? Like successful or scientific? Does it work? Yeah, I'm pretty sure immersion therapy is like a real thing. Like it's, it works. They put a lot of scientific thought into it. They've done all those things about like VR for doing immersion therapy with like snakes and spiders and shit. Oh. Birds even, Andrew? It works for you. Burning out all your fear receptors so you can go about your business. Yeah, so you no longer have the part of your brain that can rationally

tell you you're scared of stuff? Yeah, to stop grabbing at snakes when you see them. The clinic also helps people overcome a fear of vomiting. It has put out a call for a part-time position. No, thanks. You can't do it full-time. It takes too much out here. It's put out a call for a part-time position in which a person will vomit on command to help the clinic's patients deal with their vomiting phobia, according to AT5. The new hire will replace a previous employee who retired. Why are they retiring? They didn't quit? They've have have probably been there a while. Nothing left to give. Yeah. I think they've been doing it for 40 years, yeah. Because you probably don't have much

transferable skills. I'm not suggesting this is quack science or anything. I think this is probably pretty legitimate but I also don't know about the the ethics of asking someone to vomit a bunch, just for the sake of their like dental health. It's not good, right, to vomit. It's bad for your teeth, it's bad for a bunch of other stuff. Like that just can't be good. It's not like they'd have to do it like 20 times a day. Like I'm sure they're doing it like once or twice a week maybe still it's gonna be that many it's got to be like a

casual like on-call position like hey I'm coming here and throw up a bit I wonder if they get them to do the like sweet D style like we're gonna ramp you up okay first we're gonna do a couple oh oh oh oh, oh, it's day one. If you are working at Kint clinics in Amsterdam on a part-time basis of vomiting on command, please write into a mail bag at Buntavista.com and let us know how frequently you are getting down to it. Yeah, I feel like there are a bunch of different, uh, bunch of different, weird, weird jobs and stuff like that that involve people vomiting a bunch and losing losing weight all the time and all that sort

of thing and there's no version of it where anybody's like oh it's fine I'm thinking like a like professional eating you know competitive eaters yeah the Joey chestnuts of the world the coverashes of the world oh yeah because people are like thoub I can't that th eats that much food and they're like, oh, we're not eating it. Yeah, I'm consuming it. Yeah, you ram 60 hot dogs in you in five minutes and then you go back to your hotel room and it all comes back out. I'm housing it in the literal sense of the word, yes. Yes. In that I'm briefly storing it in me, but not forever. Soon these will be unhoused hot dogs. I mean, that's true of all food.

Not the way I do it. Hmm. The new employee's job, who will get the gun and the badge from the previous retiree, will consist of vomiting during a session with the patient to to allow the patient to face their phobia. Quote, there are many more applications than expected. A new transmitter is suddenly among them. Transmitter. Transmitter.

Really gross Jason Statham movie. Yarn will begin to transmit the phobia too now. Pullah! I, look, the absolute sicko in me has to know like are we treating this phobia in the manner of like oh no someone in the same room as you was throwing up and you can't leave or is it like your phobia is someone throwing up on you you know has to be tailored oh I thought you're asking whether the person was meant to be acting as a plant where they're like oh and also yarn will be sitting in taking notes as part of his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his.... I. I the the their. I. I their. I's. I's their. I's their their their their th. I's this. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this. this. I this. I the ph. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their t. I te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I their the whether the person was meant to be acting as a plant, where they're like, oh, and also, yarn will be sitting in taking notes as part of his PhD.

Oh, no, yarn looks unwell. Can you fill in this form? Uh, the receptionist takes your, takes your details, please sit over here, the doctor will my appointment start? Oh, it's not too long now. For the really severe cases, you know, you get the guy who's a plant as an assistant to throw up on them with a clipboard and somebody else comes running into the room with a towel and goes, oh, this is unbelievable. Blah! It's the succession of people over the course of an hour coming into health? Just the previously phobic person standing in a center of a hundred vomiting Dutchman just being like, I'm cured.

That's perfect because in the next time you see one guy vomiting, it's not going to be that bad. Whatever. It's only one vomiting Dutchman? I've seen literally a hundred times worse. That's rookie shit. Rookie shit. Psychologist Martia Crocea posted the call for an employee on Facebook. Quote, I haven't had time to look at Chamoll and answer them yet, but there are so many applications that it is almost impartial to oversee. How many people are vomiting on command?

That's crazy. Well, only one, but there's a oversupply of... You know what I'm picturing here for this entire scenario right? I can't remember whether it was on a bonus episode or not, but we were recently discussing a woman who was saying, my partner thinks that he's funny and can do stand-up comedy and he definitely can't and he wants to go to an open mic night. I think this is going to be open mic night for everyone who thinks th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. You thi. You thi. You thi th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thinks that he's funny and can do stand-up comedy and he definitely can't and he wants to go to an open mic night. I think this is going to be open mic night for everyone who thinks they can vomit on command. So you think you can vomit.

Yeah, absolutely. So you think a whole bunch of people are going to come through, a procession of people are going to come through and they're going to say, take it away, and they'll go, yeah, okay, huh, give me a minute, huh? Promise I could do you sit at home. Hold on, I just got to stick my fingers in there. I'm not turning my chair around if you got to stick your fingers down there. Yeah, I gotta to to to to to the to the the the to the the to the the the to the the the the thu thu thu. I'm not thu. I'm not thu. I'm not thu. I'm not thu. I'm not took to took to get their their thoom. I'll to go go go. I'm gait. Give, huh, huh, huh, huh, give, give their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh. I'm gu. I'm gaite. I'm gaited. I'm gaited. I'm gaited. tap. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. Yeah, give. Yeah, give, give. Yeah, give, give. I'm gaited. I'm Yeah, yeah. I got to hear it hit the bucket before I'll hit the big button on my desk. I'm a grand day waiting to hit her big button and turn around. That's right. And if you're listening to this and you're annoyed at us because you have a metaphobia, we're actually helping you by doing immersion therapy. We're immersing you in the world of vomiting Dutch people. We're amassing you in the wet, chunky world.

Oh, come on now. Yeah, so I reckon it's hundreds of people turning up and two of them can actually do it. And it's a very, very frustrating day for the people who are interviewing everyone. That's my opinion. Yeah. Applications shared with AT5 were enthusiastic in tone. Quote, now I can finally share my art, Vomiton Command. If the clinic is still looking for people, I would like to register here, one person wrote. Some Dutch shit. I would, yeah, I'd come in there so drunk. Finally.

It's just wasted. Yeah, I can vomit on command. One large bottle of schnaps beforehand, you know? His job takes its tall on people. Oh boy. Folks, we regularly take you on a trip around the world on this podcast, you know? We started off in Grey, sad, England with its dead queen getting sealed up into a lead coffin. Yeah. Then we took you all the way to, what was it, North Dakota? Yeah, that's right. Back around to the Netherlands and here we are bringing it all the way home to England again. We're going to close it out with our

respect to the slowly ballooning body of the Queen and the very rapidly ballooning body of her son, King Charles III. With a tribute from the only kind of literature that England has ever produced, that's right, we're talking about. Tabloids. Violator, is the treater, turn around it. Fist-headed man destroys church. Keep a noise phenomenon. It's Tabloid phenomenon. This comes to us from the Manchester evening news.

Locals shocked by awful and minging, stinky South Manchester Grotspot! Shut up, you losers! Like how come you got to put Ming in in quotes and Grotspot is just their headline? Grot Spots great. It sounds like it is awful in Minging. Yeah. That's Minging is a quote, which is why it's in quote marks. Beautiful.

Grot Spot sounds like a disgusting euphemism from like a late 90s early thousands. Like for your butt-hole porno Mac yeah it makes me think of like if they had a made if they had a made American pie in England instead yeah I feel like somebody somebody horrible that's horrible what you just said man what would they have had to have called it Eel pie spotted dick

Oh they would have to spot a dick joke in there. God damn. They'd still have milf, but it'd be like mom I'd like to fuck. You know? Yeah. Residents and local workers in Chaltern are shocked at the state of a truly horrific and stinky alleyway off Barlow Moore Road, piled high with rubbish. So what?

Chalton, come on. Truly stinky, you can't put these things in the paper. Stinky. These people relate to the world like children. It's stinky, put out in the paper, it smells. Like getting some sort of specialized Oxford simplified thesaurus, you know? Well I want one with like 80% less terms for things. The alleyway runs from Martin and Co-estate agents past the back of electric bar and the Atlantic Fish bar, among other businesses, and is piled high with rubbish, leaking bin bags and piles of discarded items. What do you reckon's happening inside the Atlantic fish bar?

Yeah, mostly fish related stuff? It's a bar for fish I think for fish from the Atlantic Ocean specifically, which is odd, because Is England on the, I don't know, I don't know enough about it. Well, well the tables are turned, Ben, the man who interrogates me about not knowing what any of the oceans are. I'm sort of picturing out the back of the Atlantic fish bar that the their pile is like You know in like a Warner Brothers cartoon Yeah, if a cat puts a fish Piles of down into their open mouth and they pull it back out and you have the completely intact fish skeleton. Yeah, Six foot high mound of that. Yeah and one boot. Yep, good measure and if you can dothat, if you can put an entire fish in your gullet, swallow it and

then pull it out by its tail revealing a skeleton, there's about 30 people on our discord that would like your DM details. One local business who did not wish to be named said the problem had been going on for, quote, a number of years. And said due to the amount of businesses, the alleyway houses a lot is is is is is a th is a th is a lot is a th is a lot is a lot is a th is a lot is a th is a th is a th is a th is a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the it the it the it the it the it the it the it the it out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out the the the the the the the the the the the the theat theat the theat the the their had been going on for quote a number of years and said due to the amount of businesses the alleyway houses a lot of commercial bins and people tend to add their own items. Alleyways are stinky. Like this is a common problem. You just have to live with it. It's why cities keep their stinks. It is. Talking back back there. You don't want a man on the street. Yeah you want you want your stink to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s sii. their st st ste. their sti. their stinintipeathings. their stinusus. C. C. C. their stinususususususkinea. It's their stiou-a. It's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tipease. tipease. tipease. tipeasea. tipease. tipease. tipease. their their their their their their them out on the street. Yeah, you want you want your stink with all the rest of the stink. Yeah. Don't be kind of like... Hey, put it back there in the stink hole. Yeah. He's calling up the team from the bill because the alleyway smells. It's minging in! He's right minging down there.

Gov! Come and come and nick this stink P. Quotes. Quotes, just the rest of the article. A shocked visitor to the area said he walked down the alley on the way to get a pint and described the area as quote, Minginging. As did manager of electric bar, Andrew Richard, who said, quote, It's quite a dark and minging alleyway, end of quote. Also, why are all these people saying this word? It's so minging.

I think it's because they're English. I think that might be the reason. Yeah, they need to read a book of English. I don't know what they're doing. What are they trying to do over there? I want to... It's not good. Gotta work it out. I'm playing myself the little pronunciation guide from Google, you know? It's good stuff. Are you trying to decide whether you should or shouldn't be saying the hard G? You should say the hard G? The G on there is no G in the end of that word. Oh, it's proper ming. That's. Minning. Minning. Minning. Minting. Minting. That's. That's a a the the the end of that word. It's a whole different stinghole. Minging.

Minging. Minging. There you go. I'm wrong. Incorrect. Now we have to pay the person who made that pronunciation $5,000. In-ing. Well, luckily the pound is worth one Australian cent now, so.

Oh, perfect. It's good for us. He said, quote, there's a massive stack of crates and rubbish and I have no idea where they have come from or who is responsible. We don't get fly-tipped as our bins are on the other side of the road on Wilbraham Road, but it's pretty minging and awful. Well, at least you're not getting fly-tipped. Yeah, I would hate to be fly-tipped. Especially in Wilbraham Road. All right, I think we've discussed this on the podcast before,

but fly-tipping is what they call illegally dumping rubbish in a place that is not your bin. Is it that common that it's called fly-tipping? It is legitimately 30%% that that that that that it's that it's that it's that it's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that's that that that that that that that of the stories in the tabloids are about out-of-control fly-tipping. The title of this 2017 article about fly tipping. Where did the name fly tipping come from? Number one, ask question to the BBC. Fly tipping is defined as, quote, the illegal deposit of any waste onto land that does not have a license to accept it. They love having a license for shit, don't they? Oh, you've got to have a watch the telly. Gotta have a license to put some rubbish on the ground. This saying, coupled with the act of tipping something out,

oh sorry, the OED points of the term on the fly being used around 1851 to mean on the move. This saying coupled with the act of tipping something out, ttipping. So tipping on the fly? Like you're driving past. Drive by. And you're reliant robin and you've tip some rubbish out the side window. Driving past in the Mr Bean car. Throwing your Greg's pastry wrapper into the bean. How many fly tipping prosecutions have there been in England in the last year?

There were 1,602 prosecutions for fly-tipping in England in 2016 to 2017. That was epidemic. That was down from 2100 the year before, despite the overall rise in incidents. In total, 98% of prosecutions resulted in a conviction. What conviction? Yeah, locking that down. You're a notorious fly-tipper. Wow, so the same number of people that weren't convicted of fly-tipping

were the percentage of that town that was in that bar during happy hour. Coincidence? Think about it. Yeah, it's all connected. I am... Oh, in 2021, the number of convictions went up to 99%. They're getting... Crack it down on fly-tipping.

Getting serious. Maybe they got a serious mayor or something. All right, so... So 2017, what do we say? It was... it was... 2017 it was 1,600 prosecutions down from 2,100. Fly-tipping statistics for 2020 to 2021. Local authorities in England dealt with 1.13 million fly-tipping incidents. An increase of 16% from the 980,000 reported in 2019, 2020.

What a country. My goodness. Local authorities carried out 456,000 enforcement actions. That is absolutely wild. Just put it in the bin, mate. Yeah. That's the, that's the awareness thing they should be doing. Yeah. Just put it in the bin.

How can it so hard to put it in your bin? Are they, are they bins not big enough? Do they have tiny bins over there? Is that the problem? Do you not have household bins, maybe. You're just calling the cops on your neighbor for putting their recycling in your bin or something? I saw him put an apple on the pavement. That's far I tip in. I just, I keep thinking about, right, right at the start of the pandemic, right, when it was all kicking off.

My parents had these like family friends here from Scotland, who they had not seen in like many decades, or maybe since like one,, like, like, like, like, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, I their, I their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I, I, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th.e, th.ea, tha, tha, and tha, and thoooooma, and tha, tha, tha, and here from Scotland who they had not seen in like many decades or maybe since like one of their childhoods or something like that you know and and one of my parents was like yeah the thing that they just kept saying when we were driving around everywhere was like it's so clean it's so clean like Like in Scotland you just everywhere you drive, every roundabout is just covered in garbage. We've got enormous national parks here that you can put all your garbage in. That's where the garbage go. You're illegal firearms in there, you can grow marijuana in there, you can put

your rubbish in there. It's kind of the perfect solution. Yeah, so to drive up there with your, um, with your Holden Commodore wagon if you can. Gotta get that wagon for the extra room. I mean, school the rubbish out. Yeah, I feel like broadly speaking, littering is pretty, pretty unacceptable, socially, right? Yeah, doesn't mean people don't do it.

But, um, like, I reckon if you just sort of did it on the street, broad daylight with a much people around, someone to go, hey, don't do that. Pick that up, you cunt, someone would probably say. Some would say, hey, fuckhead, you expecting your mom to clean that up for you. You can't. Were you born in a tent? Were you born in a tent and that's why you throw rubbish on the ground? You didn't have a bin and you just had to open the flap of the tent and throw the rubbish straight out of the tent. That's why we say that. And that's become muscle memory for you ever since. And every now and then you'd move the tent a cultural thing or your parents just strange? Tell me more about your early childhood. Was it a tent outside or was it on top of a bed?

Was this a home birth when you were in a tent? That is what someone would say to you. Yeah, if you did it here. So it sounds like it's also socially unacceptable in England because everybody is calling the cops and saying, I just saw my neighbor tiping his fucking rubbish over the fence again. Yeah. The only difference... He's out of room because I've tipped all my rubbish over over there. Yeah, it's a very very strange that yeah it seems to be socially acceptable here and over there

absolutely everyone is doing it and also calling the police about it. Yeah they love to set up like, as far as I can tell they also love to set up cameras looking at their bin and like their front and their front and their front road and stuff. Nearly every news story. Yeah. Chavs, Nicked me bin. Yeah, you don't want to commit a crime next to a bin in the UK because you might get dobbed in for bin tipping. Don't dog near a bin. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No, do you're dogging a mother of their beautiful public parks. That's advice for you to take home after the podcast. Quote, this is the Manchester City Council spokesperson. Although we were not informed of the incident specifically, we will look into it immediately and take the appropriate action to get the rubbish removed. We are aware that there have been waste issues in the Tralton area and our officers are currently in the process of visiting business premises to ensure they have the necessary waste contracts, and that they are managing their waste removal correctly. Put it in the bin. Got to get your waste contract. What a load of shit. They don't care. They don't care about the fly-tipping. They don't care about the ming-and-alleyway. No one's paying. They're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their waste their waste their waste their waste waste. They're waste. They're waste waste waste. They're waste. They're waste waste. They're waste. They're waste. They're waste. They're waste. They're waste contract. They're their waste contract. They're waste contract. They're waste contract. They're. They're. They're. They're waste contract. They're waste contract. They're waste contract. They're waste. They're waste. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They. They're. They. They. They. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're their. They're their. They're their. They're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their waste the care about the fly tipping, they don't care about the Ming and Alleyway. No one's paying their bin licenses anyway, so you know.

They're too busy making sure no one is saying that whichever one of the princes is a pedophile. Is a pedophile? They're too busy policing that to actually tackle fly tipping? One of the real problems that's facing that country? It's real problems in the UK the UK the UK the UK the UK the UK the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thupe thupe thupe thupea thupea thupea thia thigh thoeneta they're saying they're they're they're saying they're saying they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're not they're tape. They're ty. They're tackle fly-tipping? One of the real problems that's facing that country? There's a real problems in the UK and you're saying that the pedophile guy's not a pedophile. Someone is going to write into us and be like, hey guys, love the show. I know you don't really like corrections but I do want to say we don't actually have bins. And it's because of Thatcher. That's a little bit on the wrong side of history on this one.

Thatcher, thatcher, the garbage bin snatcher. That's right. They call her that. This used to be a country, she took away our bloody bins. Now we ain't got no bins, we have to fly to it because of Thatcher. Ah, Thatcher. They get all red of the face. She's dead as hell. Just like the Queen. In the ground. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What else can we say? Hard hitting Fatcher? Oh Fatcher. Oh, Fatcher. And that's serious news for you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What else can we say? Hard hitting? How about that? that? the that. the things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What. What the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeahitting. How about that? Insightful. I think we're insightful. You guys get a lot of insight.

Potentially award-winning. No, you have to self-submit for podcast awards and there's not a fucking chance in the world. They're going to be like, hello, my name is Ben. I know, I'm never doing that. No, I said potentially award winning, because theoretically it's possible that we could win an award. Yeah, we would probably win everyone that we entered for. We would clean up at the Webbies and the pods, I don't know what any of them are, at the, those ones that Norm McDonald did the red carpet for, we would have fucking cleaned up. We would absolutely win the Webby for podcast that is most difficult to get to to to to to to to the to the to the the to listen the to listen the to listen the to listen the to listen to listen the to listen the the to listen to listen to the the to to the to the to the to the the to to the the the the th. Wea to to to to th for th for th. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea th. Wea th. Wea th. Wea th. Wea th. Wea th. Wea th. Wea th. Wea th. Wea th. Wea th. Wea th. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. We'll the. We'll the. We would the. We would the. We would the. We would would theea' thea' thea' thea' thea' thea' the. We would the. We would the up. We would absolutely win the Webby for podcast that is most difficult to get into by just listening to the latest episode. Yeah, and there's actually no episode that's a useful point to get into the show.

Well, thanks for listening, because you clearly did. Or at least you gave this episode a bash and right now you might be deciding, not for me. Would I listen in? Maybe not, probably not. Hey, and if you're the partner of someone and you've been forced to listen to this in a car, oh, thank you so much. Now it's your turn to ask for something and just really lean into making it something that your partner fucking hates. Next podcast on you, that's your choice. My favorite murder, it's your turn. Let's go Pick whatever is the latest True Crime podcast from the Australian. Yeah, teach the sister See you next time folks. you