Boonta Vista - EPISODE 266: A Dozen Pissing Bints

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: A look at the social and economic impacts of the stag and hen do industries, plus a fresh, modern take on the Great American Hall of Name. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to episode 266. This is Punta Vista's live coverage of the Queen's Funeral. My name is Andrew and I've finally been calmed from my hysteria with strong enough sedatives to work on the commentary team on this historic and terribly sad day. Here in the recently renamed Chicken Cottage Cathedral, observers watch as the newly crowned king arrives. He is waving to the audience, grinning and pointing at people he knows, and occasionally stopping to solemnly fire a t-shirt gun into the crowd. He is wearing a dress shirt,

bow tie and tuxedo jacket, along with blue hard yacker brand short shorts and a crown, which seems to have had the logo the logo the logo the logo the logo the logo the logo the logo the logo the logo the logo the logo the logo the logo the logo the logo the logo the logo the logo to have had the logo to have had the logo the logo to have had to have had to have had to have had to have to have had to to the logo for to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their the the the the the the the the the logo. the the logo. the logo the logo the logo the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the te. the the the the the the the the the the the the the bow tie and tuxedo jacket, along with blue hard yacker brand short shorts and a crown which seems to have had the logo for the band's sleep embroidered on it. This is of course the newly crowned his imperial majesty, King Ben. Hello your majesty. Hello, Governor! The voice of an empire. And now a hush falls over the crowd as a spindly servant boy enters the chamber, pushing the royal wheelbarrow containing her royal majesty the queen. Knees shaking as she struggles to stop the wheelbarrow from tipping over, the young man looks around the room nervously.

It's Theo. Hello, Theo. Oh, I don't know about all this, and I'm just happy, but here. There's a pause as the crowd awaits the signal from his majesty to tip the royal wheelbarrow. Go on then. And with a thud in several crunchers, the Queen has arrived at her eternal resting place. As we look down upon her lying crumpled in her grave, we hear her sweet, sweet voice echo up from the hole due to the amazing modern power of animatronics. It's Dead Queen Lucy. Oh, this is mental in it. I can't believe I'm here. Get me out this flipping hole!

That's what old British ladies sound like. Yeah. What am I doing down here? Every day people walk past the hole to hear the comforting sound of the dead voice of Queen Elizabeth the second shout. Oh, it's bloody dark in here! It's cold! Where's me a cup of the dead voice of Queen Elizabeth the second shout, Oh, it's bloody dark in here! It's cold! Where's me a cup of tea? Someone drove me a rope!

I believe tradition dictates that they will fill in the hole and tile it back over, but you will still be able to hear the muffled voice as you come through to audio chips. Don't you fill in that hole that hole the piper it. Oh man, that, the piper was the first time I saw a story about the Queen from this week that I was like, oh, maybe we need to put that one on the show. The fucking, the guy that woke her up every morning by playing the bagpipes for like her entire life. Yeah. He should kill himself now. Well he played one

more time to like, have a funeral, which is so funny. Not much else on. I can't. What's he gonna do now? He's got nothing. Well do you think, do you think King Charles is bringing his own piper or keeping the existing piper just to kind of like get a service continuity? Oh I think all of these pipers are imprinted upon the monarchi the monarch the monarch the monarch the monarch the monarch the monarch the monarching the monarching the monarching the monarching the monarching the monarching their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their heir heir heir heir heir heir heir their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their keeping the existing piper just to kind of like get a service continuity? Oh I think all of these piper's are imprinted upon the monarch at birth. So he has had a piper assigned to him since he was born. Yeah. It's actually got a trombonist. I think he's blasting kiss albums every morning.

I think he's a big kiss listener. What if you do get to pick your own guy? Yeah. On some some someto get my trombonist out to play, let's get it started every whole thing. Yeah, but you know one version. Good Lord, for most of her rain, the Queen was roused by the sound of bagpipes played beneath her window at all her residences around the country. Well, you can't keep sleeping if you've got that shit going on outside, can you? Gets you up, quick start. The piper to the sovereign for decades acted as a personal alarm clock playing for 15 minutes. Fuck off, bro. Imagine an alarm clock that you can't put on sleep for 15 minutes.

You can. You can shoot it with a elephant gun. You pull out the elephant gun with a piece of tip up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up that that that that that that that th that th th th th you up th you up th you up th you up th you up the th you up th you You can shoot him with the gun. Well-trawn brick. You pull out the elephant gun with a piece of tape on it that says snooze button. Five minute tranquilizer. Oh, very good shot, my lady. Better luck next time. Just running off. Holding out the royal blunderbuss. Keegging, udig, running. Uh, like honestly, of all of the instruments, like, uh, I assume other people use the

alarm clock on their phone, right? That's what we're all using now. Yeah. No, I just, I wake up when my two extremely small children wake up. Well, yeah, you've got some different kinds of alarm clocks going. And you can't shoot those ones. No, shouldn't. Our kids get up and then they don't wake us up,

which absolutely rocks. Although we had another kid around for like a sleepover a couple days ago and like last weekend. And that kid woke up at 530 and walked around and turned on all the lights in the house. What? I was like what are you doing? What are you doing bro? But yeah we all we all use the phone alarm clock and they have all the different options and those ones are like designed to be a little tinkling piano or like like a little harp kind of thing. Yeah they start quiet and they gently get louder and everything but after two weeks of hearing

the same one I'm like I fucking hate the sound of pianos now. Yeah I'm done with the sound of this piano. I don't think it would take me decades to get tired of the bagpipes. Maybe like you might be playing different songs. How could you tell? How could you possibly tell? Give them a playlist. Yeah, on Tuesday I want How Do I Live Without You by Leanne Rimes? Yeah. Do you think the Queen's got her iPhone?

Well she doesn't have fucking shit now. No. She did have... Hey, nice possessions. You taking those with you or? She did have a gold-plated Nintendo Wii. Did she? Apparently the Queen had a Wii and was into Wii sports bowling.

Is this real? Are you making shit up? I believe it. Oh, thee. Prince Andrews also into Wii Sports. What do you mean? Huh? The Queen had a phone. That was a special phone for only two people with a... It was a Samsung, so Theo, you'll approve of that. It was set up for her by MI6.

Yeah, but you're more of a... You're not really an iPhone guy, are you? You like the great idea. If they made a small, small Samsung, I'd be, I'd be honest, or a small pixel. Yeah, and also those Samsung's, they're practically bombs. Yeah, remember that? The Galaxy note 7. Uh, this is from 2008. From Wired.com, Queen Elizabeth adores the Wii. According to the British paper of the people, Queen Elizabeth 2 is the latest member of the Wii fan club. The report says the system was a Christmas gift from Kate Middleton to her boyfriend Prince William,

but after watching her grandson play, the monarch, quote, begged to join in. I don't, that can't be right. She played a simple ten pin bowling game and by all accounts was a natural. The paper states. So she played at what? That's so funny that they have to fucking, they have to blow up her ass about how good she is at wee bowling. Like the best wee bowl ever seen. Yes, the ball is supposed to go backwards and make the little man jump.

Watching her like hobble over from the other side of the room, which takes 45 minutes to be like, I would like a turn on this telephone. Where is the horse powering this? Is it behind behind the screen? Is there a man in there? I'd like to very much meet him. This was in 2008, so she was the sprightly age of 82 back then. Oh of course. God damn, she was old. I bet she played the Final Fantasy 7 remaster all the way through and then never touched it again. That's my suspicion. I bet she's a kingdom hearts lady.

I love this little dog and his friend, the dark bird, bird. Bad. I bet she cried when they killed Goofy. What? I'm plenty of energy. I killed Goofy but then he was alive again. Oh, of course he was. Um, Elna was laughing at something on her phone for a while the other day and when she turned her phone to vase me, it was a photo, a friend of the show, Tom Walker, wearing his Donald Duck outfit. That, that, that, that photo, photo just the energy radiating from it is so

sinister. So and sad at the same time. Profoundly sad. He looks he looks he looks palpably upset to be wearing the outfit. 90% of what this man does to himself he does on on purpose. Sort of building a character almost, but it feels like, I don't know if he enjoys it. It's hard to say. Should he enjoy it? No, I guess not. I mean, do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life.

So I guess the man loves work, I don't know. If like he was wearing the costume and smiling, like genuinely happy, that would be way more. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi he he he thi he he he he he he he he th feels like, I this thi thi thi this thi this thi this this thi thi thi thi this thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi I don't know. If the, like he was wearing the costume and smiling, like genuinely happy, that would be way more upsetting, I guess. I suppose so. Yeah, it's like, I saw a photo the other day, it was on Twitter, somebody had posted a photo of themselves. I don't know if there was some kind of streamer or something. But they were like a Chipotle partner.

And they had a, they, they were like, oh, I went down, I accidentally went down to the Chipotle too early, but I waited there until it opened so I could try the new Guayelo steak bowl. And it was worth it. And in the photo they have this huge shit-eating grin, giving a thumbs up with one hand, and holding this plate of what looks like, you know, dog sick in the other. And yeah, it was a much, much worse vibe to look like, I'm so happy about eating a plate of take away from Chipotle.

There's definitely two paths that the streamer man can take. Which way streamman to to th th th to th to th th th to th to th to th to th th th to th th th th to th and th and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, the, the, thate, thateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateate and thoa, and two paths that the streamer man can take. Which way streamer man do you want to go to? Donald Duck costume, no pants, complete misery the entire time. Or would you like to be Barjo, Australia's premiere, TV games reviewer come streamer dressing up as the purple fall guy from four guys beyond well beyond the point where anyone is playing four guys and smiling and going yay. Yeah I think we could all agree that Tom's misery is purer isn't it? Far purer. Yeah.

And that's why we love them folks. Oh boy, leaving leaving the chapel now panning away from the from the chicken cottage cathedral. And out onto the street of Britain, hey what's this paper blowing past and getting caught on your legs? You pick it up and take a look and it's one of Britain's hundreds of thousands of disgusting tabloids. It's time for tabloid phenomenon. This comes to us from the Manchester Evening News. This headed man destroys church.

This comes to us from the Manchester Evening News. Hendo revelers, quote, all dressed as a penis and quote, caught illegally mingling in Blackpool Carpark. I love the UK. Now, to me, if I hear the phrase, all dressed as a penis, I'm picturing one penis? That's right, like nine, hendu, redness. Yeah, you're picturing the, one lady's the balls. You're picturing the Chinese dragon dance costume.

Yeah. You can only, you could probably upvert one of those. Yeah, or down, downvert, maybe maybe sideways, but I don't know if that's necessarily an upwards. Upwards movement. I'm just saying, yeah, okay. Yeah. Oh, and for our American listeners, a hend-do. That bachelorette party.

Not much. What's hend hen do with you? Hmm. Um, and do they, do they, do they? Do they ever call it a stag over there, a stag party, do they? I think they call it, I don't know, bucks, yeah, bucks party over there. Do they mean, we say, yeah, they would say bucks party. Yeah, I don't know what, yeah. British people love to say hen do and stag do. Stag do.

I hope it does. What that stag do? Hmm. What that hen do? I think we're getting off track here. Maybe a little. No. A large group of women, each dressed as a penis.

See, that's clear. Singular. I was really hoping for the Chinese new dragon disc. Oh, you know how they go around there, make it look like the dragons like roaring and going at people? Just the penis. It'd have to be uncut, you know? What's a movement? Yeah. Being able to articulate the foreskin to really add some more dynamism to the performance.

Yeah. Oh, then you could do some fun stuff where you started out with everybody like all kind of bunched up against each other closely. Oh, yeah. And then you go, rah, ooh, and you all lengthen out of the foreskin. You're all spaced out. Dick comes out of the foreskin. Then one of you in a white morph suit shoots out out to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the performance to to the performance to to to to the performance to to the performance to to the performance to to the performance to to the performance to the performance the performance the performance the performance the performance to to the performance the performance the performance the performance to the performance the performance the performance the performance the performance the performance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, the. It's. It's, the the the. Dick comes out of the foreskin. Then one of you in a white morph suit shoots out of the front and then all of you bunched back up again and then lie down on the floor. Yeah, that guy

starts chasing audience ends around. A large group of women each dressed as a penis in a black bull car park who was among a string of stag and hen incidents which sparked police call-outs. During last year's coronavirus lockdown, officers in Lancashire, Lancashire probably. Lancashire, yeah. Responded to reports around a dozen vehicles packed with hens were parked up in the seaside resort and that as many as 30 women were illegally mingling

in a car park whilst all in the crude fancy dress. What is the crime? Well, now what you have to recall is that this happened during the coronavirus lockdown. Yeah. Yeah. So I saw this and forgot that and was like, what the fuck are you talking about? You have anti-mingling laws? Yeah. But it was a, during the novel, not like, not like, not like, not like, not like, not like, not like, not like, not like, not like, not like, not like, not like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. the the th. th. All, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all all all all, all, all, all, all all all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. We. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the th. We. the about you have anti-mingling laws yeah but it was a when during the novel coronavirus where the coronavirus is over it's back when you had to distance each other etc and not thanks thanks Joe Brandon but do you think they're like it

feels like you've got some good distance there with each other right if you're not gonna to be... You're in penis suits. Yeah, the most hygienic suits to exist. The balls provide a sort of natural buffer. Yeah. Maybe you've got a face covering. Yeah.

Also you're in a car park, you're outdoors. I'm going to allow it. We are people still kind of, it took us a while to get sorted on like where people actually get COVID from. Remember people, they're like, hey, you can't be in a park? Get out of the park. Yeah. Or like, uh...

Yeah, we know it comes from wherever, you know? Yeah, the cinema. Just, just wherever. The office. Details of the incidents have been released as part of analysis by Last Night of Freedom. A firm who have organized over 25,000 Stag and Hen parties since their formation in 1999 reports Whales online. Last Night of Freedom. You missed a crucial paragraph there.

Oh. Is it whobzobzop? Brub-bribbribbibbib. Police in the county also had to deal with a punter who wet themselves and were called out after a limo carrying a group of 10 to 15 women who, quote, appeared to be having a hen-do, end quote, jumped out and began urinating in public in Accrington. Imagine that.

Country in the world, Empire. You're just trying to go to the shops to get a pie or whatever? Ten to fifteen women pissing on the street. The human brain is not ready to deal with that. What would you do? I would freeze, I think. I'll just lie down. Yeah. Just close my right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right. Right. Right. I'll just lie down. Yeah. Just close my house. Right under the stream.

So the problem is you can, I'm not allowed to interact with you. You got to, and you'd be suffering from even greater cognitive dissidents, because as soon as the limo pulls up you think I'm in for a treat because here's someone fancy fancy people. Someone fancy and dignified is going to get out of here. You. And the the th. And the stream, you. And th, I. And th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm to th, I'm to to know, someone really... When we're as a for fancy people. Someone fancy and dignified is going to get out of here. And then it's 10 to 15 pissing women on a Hindu. It's a dozen pissing bits. Oh no.

I think here's David Beckham. This is it. I'm finally going to see him. Oh my god, it's Tom Jones. Yes. The Pride of Wales, he's here. He's here. God damn. Despite Blackpool's reputation as a stag and hen mecca,

stupid place. What does that mean? Did they all? Five times a day. People face towards Blackpool. Theo, did you have a, do you have a stag do? I did. I got way too fucked up. I was not...

Okay, look, so in my defense, I was handed the drinks that I was to drink. I was not requesting them. And by like 10.30, I was to drink. I was not requesting them. And by like 1030 I was just completely fucked. It sounds familiar to me. And I got blackout drunk for like the third time in my life. Um, too drunk. Just too drunk, right? Like, you guys, you guys... Did you have fun? No? No. No, never. No. Where did you go? What did you do?

Who are you with? I'm, okay, I cannot admit that. So, come on with my good mate, Sam and, you're at Manabar, weren't you? Good friends, hey? You went to Manabar for your bucks party. You were a thaaaaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxa. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. too. too. too. too. too. too axe throwing. You're fucking kidding me. Only for a bit. Why don't you explain what that he has been? Oh, imagine if you were. I'm gonna come in, I'm gonna come in in Theo's defense here, right? Okay, as someone else who also spent his bachelor party at the Manabar. No, I did. But I was also a person who was like,

I don't know if this if this was part of your requirements theo, but I, my, my now brother-in-law was organizing my Bucks party. Yeah. And I was like, I ain't gonna be real with you. I'm not super into like the strip club or get super's stuff. You hate titties, so you don't want to see big thing jugs. Yeah. Well, I just think all of my experiences of going to strip clubs and stuff before that point I had not hugely enjoyed. I had found it not a not a wonderful environment, you know. Didn't love it and I was like, hey, what if we don't do that?

And I mean that in the way of like, what if we actually don't do it, not if you wink at me and then that's all we did. Yeah, absolutely. And that was the same sort of deal with me. So we went to a bunch of bars, all right. We went to the rooftop bar, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the th and the roof, th and thet, the ra, the ro, the ro, the ro, the ro, the ro, the ro, the ro, the roof-upe, the ro, the ro, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, the roof, th.. We, th. We, the, the, tho, the, tho, thr, thr, thr, thr, thro, thro, throoo, thr, throoooooomooomoomorrow, thr, thr, thr, that had some video games in it. And then we moved on to a different bar from the, after spending some time in the one that had, so I had the worst, I think probably on measure the worst liquid that I have ever drunk in my life, and that includes the time that I accidentally drunk bon water, because it was a Coke bottle bong and it was sitting next to my actual bottle of coke At the man of bar someone ordered me a

Tabasco shot Fucking what was in it I swear it was like Tabasco wish to shear source Oh, was it a fireball? Was it a not a maybe a fireball which is like a like? It was a joke? It was a joke? Like? It was a joke? It was a joke? Like? It was a joke? It was a joke? It's? Like? It. It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It. It? It? It? It? It? It. It? It? It? It? It. It? It? It. It? I? I? I? I? I? I? I, like? I, like? I? I? I? I? I. It. It. It. It. I? I? I? I? I. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. I. I. I. I. guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. thr thrown thrown thrown the thrown the the thrown the thrown thrown the thrown thrown thrown thrown the guy. It's so good. It's a great film. All right. I had somebody... Are we done on the mobile thing? I mean you could have just lied. I would have lied. I remember one one guy who was like mad that we weren't drunk enough yet by that point in the evening. So he started ordering, he was like, what's the worst shot that we can get? And started ordering a sequence of them and getting me to drink them while channing,

ABC, ABC, because it was an ABC shot, which is absinthe Bacardi 151 and Chartreuse. And that's really fucking bad. Young people are dumb as fuck. How old are you sorry? How old was I? 29 I'm gonna say. Yeah, that's too old. Okay, that's, what are you doing?

What do you do with your life, pal? I was like 23. I was in the middle of being peer-press pressured to drink lots of gross shots of my own bachelor party, Ben, that's where I was. Here's a tip for young people. If you've got the choice between drinking something that sounds stupid and sounds like it was scooped up from the bottom of a dumpster or drinking something that might be good, choose the second one. I don't know how many times we have to restate this on the podcast but just be normal. Yeah, just like drink something that sounds

nice at a normal bar that sounds nice. Yeah, hey one beer please. Yeah, what's the normalest drink you have? Well that sounds nice. I'll have that please. Or if you're me, hey, one light beer please. I mean in my case, in my case, I was extremely ready to get married and very happy about it and never had any... Like, we always hear people saying to each other, like, oh, everybody gets cold feet, don't they? My feet were so hot. I had the hottest feet. Do they? That's why I weigh socks all the time. Yeah. Did you spend a lot of time right before your wedding thinking? Because that's what you think, you might just kill myself instead.

Yeah, yeah. So, so like I was, I was at, personally, I was at the age and state of mental preparedness to be married. I was, like I'm, I am not a person who was in the, this is my last night of freedom mode. Yeah. Really healthy sort of attitude to have about getting married. Yeah, I know. That's the whole thing. I mean. I can't wait to have bad sex for the rest of my life.

Mmm. This is my last night of thinking about it and then not acting on it. I know. That's my, that's my whole thing. Like, I just, I never particularly vibed with that attitude where it's like, Ah, this is your last chance to have some other ladies' titties rubbed in your face or whatever. If you really feel like that, like, oh, what a brutal letdown that I'm not going to get to like fuck other people anymore or whatever? These tits for the rest of my life? Just don't. These things? These things? things? things? things? things? things? thi thi things thi things thi things thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thioomk, thi. thi. thioomoomoomoomoom. thoomoomoomoom. thoomoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. tho. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. It thi. It life. Just don't. Yeah. These things,

yeah, don't get married. It's fine. You don't fucking have to. Yeah. We now live in societies. Everyone loves a single uncle. There is no longer a social penalty for not getting married. Just don't fucking do it. It's fine. And you can afford so many Blu-rays because you're not married. It's so true, man. Yeah. Anyway, imagine just, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don, th. Don, th. Don't, th. Don't, th th don, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, th th th th th th th th th th thin, don't thi, thin, th th th th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't thi, don't thin, don't thin, don't thin, th. Don't get thin, don't get thin, don't get th. Don't get thin, th. Yeah, don't get th. Yeah, don't th. Yeah, don't fucking do it. It's fine. And you can afford so many Blu-rays because you're not married. It's so true man. Yeah. Anyway, imagine just British hens and stags. Just pubs full of them. It's my nightmare. I've got a piss again. Anytime I see like a fucking group like a hen's night or a box party coming towards the bar. I'm just like, that shut the roller door to get a broom out we could maybe sort of just scare them off like birds fucking nightmares just be normal despite Blackpool's reputation as a stag and head mecca figures released by Lancashire police suggest that on average police dealt with one stag or hen party incident every fortnight since the start of 2021. Analysis of their logs indicates that in many instances the root cause of problems faced on a weekend away was over indulgence. So they

inspected their poops? So they're...Ima's of their logs. Analysis of the long analysis, that's how they did. I'm more picturing like, you know the stereotype of the... you know the stereotype the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their logs their logs their logs togyogyogyo.o. Logiogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyogyo the the the the the the the the the the the t. t. I. I. I. I. I t. I t. I t. I t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the stereotype of the log analysis that's how they did I'm more picturing like you know the stereotype of the you know the stereotype of like the wild-haired Scientist in a lab coat bursting into the room with papers and saying you got to see this. Yeah, we've cracked. Because I had too much alcohol. Yeah, it's been analyzing all of the logs about, ends days. Matt Mavier, who founded the Gateshead-based Last Night of Freedom, says he believes the data dispels common misconceptions and is proof of such events being, quote, unfairly stigmatized. Yeah, so this data, data, like this is a scientific study, that this is like a press release from a company that does Hens do's and Stag do's and he's using these instances to demonstrate that

they're actually not that bad. Of jobs that would make me maybe want to sit in the garage with the car running and the door closed. I think a job that requires you to be involved with like a Hens Night just every week. Like imagine if you will your job is to drive the party bus. You know, is that for anyone else? Anybody here excited by that prospect? The most annoying group of women you've ever come across. I also think there's something maybe that would be very like spiritually

exhausting about every night that you worked being one of the most important nights of someone's life. You know, like that for them, this is a massive deal, but for you, you just want to be home by the the the the the the the the their their their to be to be to be their their to be their their to be their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most their their their their their their their their their their. their their their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their most. their their most. their their their their their their their their their their the most important nights of someone's life, you know, like that for them, this is a massive deal, but for you, you just want to be home by midnight, you know, like, you have to deal with the fact that these guys are like, oh my god, this is it, this is it forever, we're going to go fucking crazy, this is the most important night. And then you're just like, I don't know, I was kind kind kind kind kind kind, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just, I'm, th, th, th, th. th. You're, th. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, you, th, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, like, th. You, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. th. th. thr. thr. that, that, that, that, thi, thi, th. You're, was kind of... I think it's just getting sleepy, so... I mean, broadly speaking, it is just a shitty experience to be on completely, like, on a completely different wavelength to all the other people that you are in the same space with. Like, um, like, you know, it's good to be a designated driver, but sometimes, you know, you pick up your wife and like three very drunk friends, you have to drive them all around to their houses, you're not having a good time.

No, that's a bad time. They're having a grand old time. They've invented a new kind of laugh that's just so unbelievably loud and harsh on the human ear. They're doing it in everything. They're like, uh-huh. Turning up your to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their to their to to to to to to to to to to to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to drive to to drive to to to drive to to to to to to to to drive to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their th. their th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th everything. Two-octs higher than the normal laugh. Yeah. You just sit there like, uh-huh. Turning up your cat Stevens to drown them out. Yeah, and it's no crime to have a party and to have fun.

But like I said, it's bad to be on a totally different wavelength to have a job that requires you to be the one person on the opposite wavelength through everyone else every night that you're working. I think there's some people that would be able to do it for like maybe seven months before driving the whole party bus into a just into a canal. Into the Thames. Locking all of the doors. Yeah do you think it's like kind of like-fly-out work? It's just completely destructive on like human relationships. Yeah, yeah, there's only so long you can do it for before somebody's getting hurt. But the party bus money is just...

So good. So good. I wish I could walk away, but... Look, I made a commitment. The party bus. I just, I just got to do two more tours save all my money and then I get out towards to top golf the slut bar Being released from prison and the only place that we'll hire you is the party bus.

It's a job for ex-prisoners is it? Party bus driver. Oh, I said I was going to stop. You guys think I could kill again? No, I'm just having a laugh, love. Both hands back on the steering wheel? All right, you got it. All right.

Mr. Mavir continues on. Quote, the vast majority of incidents being recorded by police aren't stags and ends being a nuisance, but of pocket dials, Ben? Yeah, it's a crime. Like they're calling... Like butt dialing, you know, like when you... Oh, right. Sorry, in the context I could not fucking figure out what this was meant, but...

I'll read the whole sentence. I'll read the whole sentence. A portable way of telling the time using the sun. The vast majority of incidents being recorded by police are the thinks... in a nuisance, but of pocket dials or revelers getting lost in a strange town or city," said Matt. So he thinks... He gets so lost that you fucking call the police. He thinks that most of these incidents recorded by police are people accidentally calling the police and reporting a stagoo? Yeah. Sometimes I look at my phone and I realize that I've called the police and it's been going for five minutes and I've been talking out loud

the whole time about a stag do on my street that I think should be wound up now. Yeah. Quote, we've always believed stags and ends are unfairly labeled a nuisance, when the reality is there are just a bunch of normal people having fun with their friends while celebrating a major moment in their mate's life. Most people go on a stag or in party at least once during their life, and these figures are proof that they are almost just normal people out having a good time. Almost just normal people. having a good time. Almost just normal people.

That's an incredible phrase. They are freaks, yes, but they share 95% of our DNA. They're so almost normal, you wouldn't believe it. The last thing most of them want is any trouble, and if anything, it shows that stags and ins can be better behaved than some of the locals. That's not true. I don't think it shows that at all. It does not. The starter just not demonstrate any anything you're trying to say sir. Has anyone ever seen a hen's party happening anywhere and thought wow they're better behaved than everyone else in this venue? I don't think anyone's ever thought that in their entire fucking life.

I have, but they're whack. It was like a really bad-looking, like where you're like, oh, you guys are... You're not really friends. You don't really like each other that much. Everyone's just waiting for this to wrap up so they go home, to go home, play thirty th and play th and play th and play th and play their th and play th and play th and play their their th and play their th th their th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that their their that that tho tho tho they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their that. that that that tho thooooooooo thoooooo' tho' thooo' tho' thooo' tho' thi. thi. thi. I 730. Oh, my goodness, I'm sleeping. Are we talking like four ladies who clearly only know each other from the office? Yeah, yes. Yeah. Oh, church group hen parties as well are often really depressing to look at. Pretty mid, would you say? No, I would not say that. Jesus Christ.

Why can people start saying that? Why is it only fucking people in their 30s and or 40 year olds? Damn Lucy, Ben's Busson for real. Jesus, Jesus, God Christ. I think Busson's good. In Weymouth, one stag was suspected of setting off a firework inside a bar. He was told to quote, turn out his pockets. Although there was one major problem. He was told to quote, turn out his pockets. Although there was one major problem, he was dressed as Big Bird from Sesame Street. So where to get the firework from? I bet you could get so many like cherry bombs into the

big bird suit. Into the juicy booty section of the Big Bird costume. I guess it depends on like how legit he's going here because if he had a big bird costume where Big Bird's head is kind of on top of his head and his faces where the neck goes. Then I'm not sure how the rest of the body's working. If however he had the full Jim Henson workshop. Yeah. Arm up operating the head, camera inside the suit so he can see out. Sorry not camera, a little monitor, you know what I'm saying?

Is that how Big Bird works? Isn't he just a really tall man in there? No, no. The person inside follows inside the Big Bird costume? That's why, you know how Big Bird always kind of his, both of his hands just kind of on his, on his, on his, on his, the, the suit suit suit suit suit suit suit suit suit suit suit suit suit suit suit suit suit suit suit suit, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, so, so, so, so, so, so, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the to to to to to to the the the the the the the the, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the thoooooooooooooooo, too, too, too, too, to, to, to th. the the suit, the the the suit, the the Big Bird costume. That's why you know how Big Bird always kind of has both of his both of his hands just kind of on his on the on his abdomen sort of. He's on MDMA and he's feeling himself. Yeah he's rubbing his little titties. So one hand one hand always stays close and the other hand justiculates that's because one of the performers hands is operating the neck and head and the other is operating one of the arms. Are they on each other's shoulders? Do you think they ever explore each other's bodies in the big bird suit? Are they on MDMA in the big bird suit? Hold on, I'm just looking for an internal diagram of big bird. We're nearly halfway through one story.

Yeah, we're doing a great time for ttoday. Oh you got somewhere to be? Well yeah no I guess not. Who needs two news stories? This is about in-depth news okay that's right. Deep dives. Deep Dives. I love that we go immediately from better behaved than the locals to setting off a firework inside a bar. Set off a firework in a bar. Yeah, that's absolute chaos because you know the big bird is smiling. The firework is going off and everyone is screaming. Then how would you take it if someone set off a firework in one of the bars you're working in?

I'd be quite upset. You definitely say get the fuck out, right? I almost did it get the fuck out to some people yesterday because I kept vaping outside. And I was just very passive aggressive to them for the rest of the night instead. Assaults. Don't vape inside my fucking bar. Oh, inside. Well, in the outdoor area, but inside our licensed area. You can't vape out there. Oh, don't fucking do it. Haven't been able to for ages.

Assauce. In New York, where the city's labor MP, Rachel Maskell, has accused Staggs and hence of causing, devastation. Police figures suggest there have been just seven incidents in the past 20 months. Just picturing like, you know, post-bombing, kind of rubble in the streets. Also, like, do you think there's a column in the police database for hen do, stag do, that they're like... Yeah, like, are they classifying incidents by whether it's on a stag do? Yeah, hen stag, other. That's despite the city recently being named as one

of Europe's biggest hen party hot spots, with more flocking there than Barcelona. If I read that in the paper, I would immediately usher my entire family into the family car. Grab anything you can, children. Don't bother with the photos. We don't have time. We do not have time. We can buy your new clothes, sweetie. It's a Hindu hot spot. We're going to York. Everyone's too depressed to be married there or they're already married. It's better than Barcelona somehow. Yeah, I'd rather go there than Ibiza.

Uh, while some forces didn't disclose the data, some recorded barely any incidents. On T-side, the most eye-catching incident involved a stag who was actually the victim of a violent mob beating. Sparcked, after falling over while trying to whip up a sing along during karaoke in a Stockton pub. What's the crime? What is the crime? So trying to get everybody going for karaoke. Come on then, let's go into the chorus.

Punch kick. I would say that if you manage to be so annoying at a karaoke at a karaoke night at a pub that you cause the crowd to turn on you and savagely beat you I would suggest that justice has been done you you know yeah no need for the police to be involved society took care of that problem itself yeah in Cumbria people in cumbria police recorded police to be involved. Society took care of that problem itself. Yeah. In Cumbria, people, in Cumbria police recorded six incidents, including a pair of mischief makers caught wandering the streets without any pants,

while Gwent police didn't disclose any. Quote, the reality is nothing disclosed by police forces paint stags and ends as boisterous or someone you wouldn't want to do business with, added Matt. It shows behaviour that isn't out of sync with groups of locals enjoying a Saturday night out in any town or city in Britain. I mean that's probably true. Yeah, I think it's very normal for a guy in a big bird costume to drop a firework inside a bar. I think that also speaks worse better their tho tho tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho the that that tho tho tho their tho tho tho that that that the that tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- that- that- that- that- th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that too'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-a'-n'-n'eateateateate. thate. inside a bar. I think that also speaks worse of Britain than it does better of stag dudes. Yeah, yeah, everyone's this bad.

The standard here is so upsettingly low that by comparison these cunts are that bad. I think it's a good strategy in terms of PR though to be like oh we're all so fucked that you honestly you couldn't pick us out of the crowd. Stags and ends come from all walks of life and rather than being blindly labeled troublemakers they should be seen as economic assets to British towns and cities. The overwhelming majority of stags and the tags and then simply want to have a few drinks, a few laughs and make memories with friends.

The probe comes in what has been the busiest year ever for the Stag and Hen industry. Bookings exploded as COVID restrictions ended, with Matt admitting the firm has effectively had, quote, three years of business in one as groups rushed to get away. Yet while there's been a British booking boom, trips to traditional Eastern European hotspots like Krakow have plummeted. I wonder why. With Russia's invasion of Ukraine cited as a key reason. Okay, there you go. Polish government officials admit trips to the country are down by around 40% while last night of freedom is donating a share of profits made from bookings to the block to charities dealing with the war. How heartwarming. Yep now there's a little URL there that you guys can

click on if you like to see the sort of thing that last night of freedom dot co dot UK does but I thought I would maybe give you just a tase of what this enterprise is about so one of the the banners the banners the the the the the banners the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. the thirs thirs thirs thirs thirs the the. of to to to to to to to to toe. I to to toe. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to you just a taste of what this enterprise is about. So one of the banners on their page is for Stag do personalized products. So there's a couple of sample things in the photo here. One is a wrist band that says Stag Wars in the Star Wars font, episode 2022, James' Stagg Cardiff. Another one is some masks, like COVID masks, it's a Simon's Stag Squad. Got another one here that's a t-shirt that says Dan's Stag Doe, Nottingham, 2022.

And there's a shirt here that has a picture of, I believe, a sort of badly drawn Sylvester the cat with an extremely large erect penis. And it reads, Simon's Pussay Patrol, Marlia 2022. The cat's dick is huge. It's very large. It's sort of curving upwards as well. It's very, yeah. Elegant. It's very large. It's sort of curving upwards as well. It's very, yeah. Elegant. It is an elegant weapon of a more refined age. It's sort of like when in all those

illuminated manuscripts where monks have drawn penises in the margins, it kind of looks like one of those. So I was curious about like what the sort of thing that they're offering in is it crack out is that how you pronounce that in Poland? Crack of? Sure. Look however we're doing it. Here are some of the things that you can do there as part of your sort of build your own stag do in Poland. I'm browsing that. They got bubble football football. You guys know what that is right you get in the inflatable bubble thing. That's that's that. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's that's. that's that's. that's that's. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. that. They got bubble football football. You guys know what that is right? You get an inflatable bubble thing. That's fun. Have any of you done that before? No. No. Let me let me tell you right now if you're gonna do it, wear like shorts and a t-shirt? Where? Okay. Because I we had like an office party thing once for a place I used to work and it was the rare place that I've been to where they actually like, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, thing once for a place I used to work. And it was the rare place that I've been to where they actually like, you know, put out money for you to do shit at the Christmas party and like paid for your

meals and drinks and stuff. And they had organized some stuff at the start of the day which was, and one of the things was like this this bubble soccer thing and you, you put, you sort the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I I, th.. I, th.. I I, th.. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, to, to. And, to. And, to. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, things was like this bubble soccer thing. And you put, you sort of got to dive into this thing, get into these little shoulder, shoulder harnesses, and then you have this big inflated thing around you. And then you run around and you slam in other people and send them flying away comically. Which is fun and everything, but it was a sunny day and I was like wearing jeans and was almost instantaneously like coated in sweat.

Yeah, from just being enclosed in plastic and doing physical activity under the sun. It got upsetting really fast. We're some shorts. You can't take your clothes off in the ball. Well, they're all transparent. So everybody's seeing my smushed nuts while we run around. Gotta stay cool. So once you've finished your bubble football, you can go to a vodka tasting session. You know, it sounds pretty good.

You're in Poland, why not? Maybe do some indoor carding. You know, that's they their their they they th, you can th, you can th, you can th, th, th, you can th, th, you can th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, you can that, you can that, you can that, you can that, that, you can th good, you're in Poland, why not? Maybe do some indoor carding. You know, that's fun with the fellas. Yep. Yep. You can get a strip-hummer airport transfer. It's a nude lady in the strip, or a clothed lady who will become nude over the course of the stretch-hummer transfer?

their hummer, like nude? I think she does a strip teas show. It also comes with two bottles of bubbly. That's fun. Okay. There's a classic strip dinner. No need to explain that. Well, it's the classic strip dinner. See, when I was saying before that I was like, I don't really need the whole stripper thing for my bachelor's deal. Try and picture any of these things, I'm eating a meal and a lady is just taking off all for clothes during the meal. This is a very funny concept to me. On and other. Men go out for dinner and like the ladies are just nude.

No, the strip teas happens after the meal of this one. Oh, I'm picturing it during dinner. No, it's afterwards. I would feel like I would have have have have have have like I would have like I would have like I would have to, you know, like stop eating what was happening out of respect. We also have oil wrestling. Uh-huh. Like you, you and the fellas or like ladies are things? Yeah, just the dudes?

Just about getting greasy with the boys? So there are naked ladies and leaders of oil and there's also beer. Don't know about that part. And also there is stag participation in the third round. Okay. Yeah. Right. So he gets in there, picks which one of his mates he wants to get oily with.

Yeah, I assume so. And then you just go for it. Then once you've done that, you probably Japanese thing with the lie out nude and you eat the pieces of sushi off of them yeah and just to be correct that's a thing that I believe only villains have ever been depicted doing in movies yeah that's right yes yeah because you're using the other person like like a literal table I'm not gonna tell the Japanese what to do with their lives. I will tell English people in Poland what to do with their lives.

You do get one complimentary glass of plum wine with the naked sushi girl. Great. They also offer the angry neighbor stripper. It's a gorgeous female stripper to act as an angry neighbor, then perform a strip show. I don't want any of these things to happen. I wish you would shut up in there. Oh, you make me so mad my hair curlers are coming out. I have to take my glasses off. I don't know what accent this is and I'm so sorry to the... Here hold my rolling pin. We have at least one Polish listener and I kind of apologize enough. You can do a Polish cooking class.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. That sounds wholesome. That sounds quite nice. Of course you could also do dog attack. What? What? This sounds Polish.

Welcome to dog attack. What? Now, dare I ask? The dog attacks you? Dare I ask, what happens during dog attack? Well, I'll give you the four checkpoints that are in the screenshot that I have here. English speaking guide. Good.

Return transfer. Yep. Oh, that's nice. Safety instruction and equipment for dog attack. Duration, two hours. Like, are you just wearing padding and a German shepherd tries to kill you? Yeah, it's a Rottweiler in the picture, but yeah, I think you put on one of those suits and then like an attack talking tries to kill you. They're taking you out to it. Yeah, you want to do a jackass segment on your,

on your, on your bucks. Taking you out to a place and then, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, their, their, their, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuui thuuuuiiuiuiuiui, thui, their, their, their, to a place and then everybody has a go at being sicked by the Rottweiler. You like your 40% snaps, you're going to need it. Oh, I've just seen the last one, man. Yeah, and I have one more thing here and that is of course the Auschwitz tour. Oh my god, are you joking? Now Auschwitz. Yes. So solemnly walking around during the tour with my Austin Powers outfit on. Yeah you're a big bird costume, like ready to go to the stake and strippers after.

So this involves an English speaking guide who'll tell you how the camp came to be in stories of the guards and prisoners as well as admission to Auschwitz and Burknau. So yeah, I guess. Who's ready to get crazy? And that's the bad one as well. Yeah. As far as if you were to rank them. Of all of the activities or of all of the camps. They have um, of their, of their costumes.

I'm not saying you didn't know. We're going to some sort of camp. They pulled one of those bucks parties where they like throw you in the car. Where are we going? Not gonna tell you. You said we're going camping? Popping out in a man, Keeney with like beer bottles taped your hands. Let's go, I'm so sorry.

They have a lot of categories of costume on last night of freedom.co. UK. Can you like rent a costume? I assume you would be buying it. But they have like, so they've got different categories. They've got like, rude costumes, which are like the, I'm dressed like a big penis, or I am literally dressed as a human anus. That's a pretty cool one.

Then they've got inoffensive costumes, which are things like the Breaking Bad Meth Cook costume, adult baby costume. Inflatable Mr Blobby, the British classic. Oh and of course the very timely and funny, Alan from the hangover costume. That's crazy. Little fake baby and a crazy fella and a fake beard and everyone's going to look at you and they're going to say, oh, oh, remember that movie? Oh, you must be Alan from 2009's The Hangover. Then there's like embarrassing ones, which is a gimp suit, adult baby again, a lot of versions

of a gimp suit, just wearing a diaper and a dummy. I don't understand. Yeah. Like what's going on with them? But I think in the most British move of all, one of the categories is Stagnight Drag costumes. British people love cross-dressing. Are we talking like Panto style or like hot?

Like you look fucking hot, dude. Oh, that's not good one of them is a lady boy costume. No okay all right Brazilian lifeguard costume Miss World pole dancer princess layer and so on but the but the description of that category stagnate drag costumes is outfits designed for dressing men as women it doesn't get much funnier than that. Yeah, that's absolutely the British pathology. British view of the world.

Mrs. Brown's boys is the funniest thing imaginable. They've spent so many brain cells on being bothered that they're only left like four or five for funny, so they kind of, they topped out there. What if a guy wore a dress? Oh, he's dressed like a bird. As fucking funny that is. Big bird. Oh, what are they doing over there, you know? Not Australians. We're all fine.

Absolutely no weird masculinity. No. Yeah, our Bucks parties, you just get like really fucked up and then glass someone and then... Yeah, and then you go home. And that will have done. Yeah, the Bucks bucks bucks bucks bucks bucks bucks bucks bucks bucks bucks bucks bucks bucks bucks bucks the buxuxuxuxuxuxuxuxuxuxuxuxuxuxuxuxuxuxuxuxux. Yeah, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. And I I I I I I that's that's that's that. And I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not funny. that's that's funny. that's funny. that's funny. that's funny. that's funny. that's funny. that's funny. that's not funny. that's funny. that's that's that's that's then glass someone and then yeah and then you go home. And that will have done. Yeah the Bucks Party's here, your friends really want to use it as a reason to see some naked ladies and they will attempt to poison you with alcohol during the process. That's most of it I think. At some point, whoever is still capable of like turning the key in the ignition will drive you 70 kilometers to your house. Yeah whoever can um yeah whoever correctly picks one of the four key holes that they can see as they put the key towards it. What? No I got it.

Are you tired of paying nothing for the same old superior quality free episodes of the Buntavista podcast? Do you want less politics and more content about diarrhea, our animals gone wild? You're tired of skipping through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg Film Shooter? Well, boy, do I have the offer of a lifetime for you. That's right, for just five US dollars a month, you too can be a premium VIP member of the Buntavista Patreon. That's right, just five US dollars for all of our bonus episodes.

That's over 300 hours of content from the hosts you know and definitely tolerate. I'll even throw in access to our glamorous and exclusive discord server, where bizarre arguments only happen once or twice a week. to toto Patreon.com slash Buentevista. Sign up in the next five minutes and I won't know because that's not my job but you'll be enjoying the sweet satisfaction of supporting us and we will love you romantically for it. That's my promise to you. Britain and Australia, two places with truly poisoned pathologies. But it's time to check in on some of the residents of a country with the purest pathology of all, full of extremely normal people.

It's right, it's time for the Great American, whole of name. This is of course where we explore the American psyche by looking at large lists of their names. Today's names are drawn from the Stork Report, which is a, I think, fortnightly thing done in the Times News, a newspaper in Twin Falls, Idaho. So these are all recent. A lot of the time we've been looking at historical names or names of people in their 30s. We are looking at the names of babies.

Can I just ask? Can I just ask? Yes. Now, Ben, you might not have an answer to this, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.. too. ti. tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, ti, thi, their, might not have an answer to this, and that's fine. I understand. You're a busy man, you can't know everything. Okay. Is your understanding of this that either it's a cute name that the paper has for its birth announcements, or do you think that this is fashioned this way so that parents can show this to their children and say, see, the Stork bought this baby? I think they're being cutie with it. But I hope it is the latter. That would be nice.

Oh, look at what the Stork did this week. Anyway, here we go. Starting with, starting easy, nice in general, okay, nothing crazy here. Whitleyley Bailey. Haven, Haven cannon. Holden Pittman. Haldon Pitman. Parker Baker. Sure.

I love calling their kids Parker over there. They do, don't they? Warby, Parker. Hunter. Yep. Carson Gorslin. That's a great man. Rigens Ridgeway.

Come on. Rigens, God damn. Peyton pressure. That's a cool name. That's a great man. Should be a quarterback. Yeah, it could be a porn star. It at least 18 years.

Horace Hollenberger the 4th. Yep. Thoreen Sizemore? She'd size less. She'd size less. Cougar Parrot the second. Ah, come on now. That is KU-G-A-R, by the way.

No. Parrot? Parrot? Parrot is spelled normal style but with an extra tea. Cougar Parrot the second. So there's already one Cougar parrot. Yeah, his dad. You need to be able to differentiate between all the couga partots. Well, I to to to to to to the the the the the the th. You th. You th. You th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Pa, th. Pa, th. Pa. Pa. Pa. Pa. Pa. Pa. Pa. Pa. Pa. Pa. Pa. Pa. t. Pa. t. t. Pa. Pa. t. Pa. Pa. Pa. t. t. Pa. t. t. Pa. t. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta.a.a.a.a.a.auuuuuua.a.a.a.a.athe name for your son that's better than Cougar Parrot. Yeah. McCoy True Blood. True grid

ass name. Denver Worms Baker. Jack's paid. That's almost certainly a port star's name already. Now that is a hundred percent spelled exactly the same as Max Payne but with a J instead of an M. Violet Kaiser. The fuck. Mm-hmm. Thad Ator. Brigham's T. H. H. D. That one. That's right, yep. Is that usually pronounced Tad or Thad? I thought it was short for Thadius.

I think there's any usual when it comes to Thad. Yeah, they're on their own shit over there. Jack's Kunsler. That is again a name that is J.A.X. Jax's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's t. t. t. t. todd. t. t. t. t. t. t. th. th. th. th. th. th. that is again a name that is JAX. Jack's dad's name is Kade Kunzler. That's Cade with Kade. Yeah. Bricksley Denker. His father's name is Swade Denker.

Oh my god. S-U-E-D-E. Spelt the double way. Swayden Bricksley. Reason Baker? Reason? Yeah, that's a set of twins, Parker and Reason Baker. I'd prefer to be Parker.

Cove, Prescott, that is K-O-V-E. Oh. Paisley Atwood. Country house name. McKenna Schram. Why are they all called McKenna? Yeah, one of those. Osiris Shrewsbury. Very cool. Love that. Yes. Navy Crandall. Naming my son son Army Smith. Creed Merit. Nova Break.

Draven Maynard. That's a tool-ass name. Uh-huh. That's when the lead singer from Disturbed and the lead singer from Toole do a collab. That's right. Cypress Burton. Cash Wendell. Nice.

Buxton Dukes. J.E.W.K.E.S. Isn't that the boxing style? No. Mr. Put up your Buxed on jerks. We're fighting. Knox, Gray, Ridge, Will, Erickson Snar. And last but certainly not least, Stanton Polish. Do you want to know what Stanton Polish's father's name is? I do now. Stanton Polish's father's name is? Of course. I do now.

Stanton Polish is father's name is Craig Polish. And that name is spelled K-R-E-G. You know good for them. They did it. They're saying Craig in a fucked up way. Yeah. Can't be out here saying Craig and Colin. No. If you're going to be called Craig, we're changing every American called Craig to have the spelling

of their name changed to this, to Craig Polish's name, KREG. Yeah. And that concludes the great American hall of names and also possibly this episode of the podcast, Buntavista. Well, thank you for joining us here at the Queen's funeral. Everyone will get to go around and throw something into the hole that they want the Queen's take with her to the afterlite. I've got what is left of a packet of juicy fruit gum in my pocket. She can have one chicklet of that. I got one of those TV cabinets where all the vinyl is fucked up and sort of lifting off of the particle board.

I think she'd like that to put a Wii U in or whatever. If you push it in, I'll help you stomp on it like a bunch of times to kind of break it down and help fit it in the hole better? Yeah. Oh man, I uh... We can get the Queen a bigger hole. I had to take an old TV cabinet to the tip a while ago and it was like one of those ones that was like chipboard and on the verge of exploding.

And I managed to hurl it into the pit so it landed exactly on one of its corners and it exploded like hell yeah Pressure just forced all of it outwards in a perfect circle. It was beautiful. That is the ideal tip Experience throwing shit into the hole at the tip Life doesn't get any better than that. No, that's fine. That should be a box party. Yes. You and you and your mates. Yes. Someone writes a truck. We go on we picked up a whole bunch of shit from curbside pickup, put it all in the trailer, and we're driving that out and you get to, you can tip the whole lot in there. Yeah. You clean out your old furniture. Throw in a glass coffee table.

And then a stripper climbs out from beneath the bottom of the pit and her jugs are out. Yeah. Yeah. And she's got tetnus. Oh boy. All right P Lizzy. See you in the next life. See you at the crossroads. You blew it. See you in hell, you old bitch. Bye-bye. you