Boonta Vista - EPISODE 272: Millions Of Hog Dollars

Episode Date: November 3, 2022

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you two deeper-than-anticipated dives into the numbers on TikTok-driven dining experiences and the damage being wrought to Texas golf courses by feral hogs. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome, Buntavista, episode 273. My name is Ben and I am bewildered, terrified, and completely lost. Information is being injected directly into my eyeballs at a rate I couldn't possibly process. The gulf between my intent and the outcome of my attempts to act on that intent yawns as wide and deep as an ocean. I am of course a senior on the internet. I struggle to maintain some semblance of intellectual and emotional equilibrium, but the stimulus is simply too overwhelming. I try to take comfort in the familiar blue terrain of the desktop web page Facebook, it too proves all too overwhelming. A viral post from Sunrise is telling me it's now illegal to call yourself a grandmother. A post from a page called I Love Nature shows an image of a clearly photoshopped moon

rising behind the Taj Mahal in the shape of a love heart. I comment, is this real? In the hopes of finding an answer. A post from my second cousin Mildred is demanding I copy, paste, and repost the text word for word, or else every image I've ever taken of my grandchildren will be stolen from me and used by Mark Zuckerberg in an ancient satanic ritual. A notification tells me that it's my grandson Jackson's birthday. Madly I scroll hoping to find him so I can wish him a happy birthday.

There it is, his name, surfaced by the algorithm because he commented on a post by a meme page that shows a fully nude Trek masturbating. Jack's no, I type, nappy birthday. Hop your well, ex-grammer. Seeing this, embarrassed, it's Jackson. Hi Lucy. Oh, uh, hello, bitch. Wow.

Don't be. You can't talk to your grandmother like that. But luckily... We'll talk like this now. I'm busy playing fortnight. I don't know enough about the internet to figure out that you've replied to me. So I'm insulated from the slings and arrows of my... Jackson's spelled with two X. Two X's, by the way. And a Y. Yeah, Jackson, and... It would suck. Like, I empathize with the elderly. the elderly. the elderly. the elderly. thia. thia. thia. thia. thia. thia. thia. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thia, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thi. I thi, thi, I thin. I thin. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I th. I, I th. I th. I, I, I th. I th. I, I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thin. I thi. Like I empathize with the elderly who spend 18 hours that I on a website they couldn't possibly comprehend. That's just pumping their brain full of poison. And now everyone stopped using it as well.

It's like a ghost sound. We've trained them. But the ghosts are still there. Like spy dolphins, but the war is over. Not us. Swimming around the ocean, spying on each other. We're in control of our Twitter usage. Yeah, that's right. I didn't have a problem.

What's this? A message in my inbox. It appears someone is offering to return to me $25,000 that I accidentally left in the car park of a supermarket in an American town that I've never been to. That good Samaritan will only give it to me if I give this wonderful man, Janiel $10,000 in iTunes gift cards so we can buy credit for his phone. It's Theo. Hi Theo. Hello, you have Western Union nearby. You have Western Union nearby. Is Western Union a man? Open up. Open up internet Chrome. Now I've already bought the iTunes. Gift cards. Is this a phone? Can I call you?

No, no, I can call you. What is your Western Union address? They do they do that, don't they? They say, hey, do you want to do a Western Union wire transfer of some money? And old people love doing Western Union wire transfers. They will not use their credit card at the dentist, but they will drive 20 minutes to the Western Union to type in some bank details. And my understanding is you have to wait until the morning train comes in with all the cash for the Western Union from the other Western Union. Just wait, so go to Western Union, deposit to this address to pay the postage, and then that will send the cash directly to your account.

Yeah, I can't believe I dropped that. I mean, for one, I've never been to the United States, let alone to Wisconsin. We found it. We found your wallet. That's so crazy. Pick it up with the Western Union. Right now. Right-click on settings.

Uninstall McCaffee. Go to this link, log me in. 90% of my computer screen is just the McCaffey like, fucking toolbar. Don't, don't. Turning back to the timeline, I find comfort in a post in the local landlord's only Facebook group. Or a man is currently laying out in detail how you can get your tenants evicted with little to no hassle if you can frame them for dealing arms to overseas terrorist organizations It's Andrew hey Andrew. Hey, so the first thing you want to do

You got to get some guns. Yeah, right? Simply get a hold of the guns fully automatic is better and then arrange an imprompt you inspection I'm thinking one hour notice max Yeah, yeah, and yeah, and to? an impromptu inspection. I'm thinking one hour notice, Max. Yeah, and I can probably lie and say that there was like a suspected, I think you can do like a no-notice inspection in Queensland if you suspect that something is about to seriously endanger the property or the tenant so I'll say I think they were about to start a fire inside. Do you want guns there? Yeah, I think you're about to be a notice? Yeah? I notice? I notice? I notice? I notice? I notice? I notice notice? I notice? I notice? I notice? I notice? I notice? I notice? I notice? I notice? I notice? I notice? I notice? I notice? I notice? I notice? I to notice? Yeah, you you're notice? I to notice? I notice? I to notice? I notice? You're notice? Yeah, you're notice? I to notice? I'm notice, you're notice, you're notice, notice, notice, notice, notice, notice, notice, you're notice, notice, you're? I notice, you? I notice? I notice? I notice? I notice? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? I to you're a notice? I to you're about to seriously endanger the property or the tenant. So I'll say I think they were about to start a fire inside. Do you want guns there? Yeah, I think you're about to be endangered by guns? Do you want guns at the address? Send money, Western Union. We send guns. More iTunes gift cards in the Western Union back. Turn, i iTunes gift cards into guns. You know what my biggest problem with renting, like not, I, I, obviously I don't. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, turn iTunes gift cards into guns. You know my, my biggest problem with renting, like not, obviously I don't rent, I own my home,

but renting my other homes out to others, my several investment properties, is that I love making money for nothing, but I hate tenants. Have you guys? Yeah. Well, you know what the problem is? They get in there and they start, they start moving around and breathing and perambulating about the premises, occasionally bumping into stuff, you know, leaving, leaving layers of their dry skin cells about the place.

They treat it like it's their home or something. They treat it like they live there. Yeah. It's like if you want a home to to home to home to home to home to home to home to home to home to home to home home to home to home to home the home to home to home the home to the home the home to the their their their their their their their their their their their th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their th. th. th. thoomomoomoomoomorrow. thoomorrow. thoomorrow. thoomorrow. thoomorrow. thooomorrow. thooomorrow. thooomorrow. thoreat it like they live there. Yeah. It's like if you want a home buy one, don't come into one of my homes and act like it's just a single your home. Or if you'd like a home, I'm Cheryl Maiton and I have two big boobs. Big, wet, Virginia and house to live in. If you're interested, maybe for your grandchildren. Yeah.

Go to Western Union. Maybe your grandchildren would like my moist Virginia. Lucy, do you get the, the spam ladies on Facebook, the frame requests from like, uh, they're like supermodel hot ladies with big cans, but they've got computer generated names? No. I don't think you get those on you, I do get the ones on WhatsApp that are like a beautiful Asian woman. I get them all the time. And she's like, oh, you're an escort from the airport or something like that. I don't know what the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, that, uh, uh, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. L. th. thu. L. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooooooooooooooooooooo. th. th from the airport or something like that. I don't know what the game plan is. Yeah. Yeah.

Sophisticated. Well, I mean, you know, if you're an old guy, the game plan is, I'm hearing reports that if I send this lady enough iTunes gift cards as a dowry, she will. A dowry of iTunes gift cards. It's all the rage in Europe. So the WhatsApp ones are great because they're not actually a bot or a lot of them aren't bots? No, like they will reply to you but I don't know what their goal is. So I've got one the other day right? It's like, good afternoon. Are you already on your way?

Where are you now? We're getting late, Tearface. And I reply, wrong number, sorry. And she replies, oh I'm so sorry, this is embarrassing. I might have gotten the wrong number. Sorry for bothering you and I hope it didn't affect your good mood. I reply, not a worry. She immediately replies, thank you for understanding. Are you someplace here in Adelaide? And one hour later let's grab some coffee when both of us have a free time I want to give you some peace offering to make to you for sending message by mistake I reply shoe she replies immediately question mark to it two hours 40 later she replies hi that was on Friday the next day at 11 20th the morning. She sends me a gift of a girl eating pizza.

What? What? What? 9.40 p.m. Hi, good evening. Sunday, 12.42 p.m. May God accept all your prayers. Monday 10th at 1146. A three-second messagesecond message hang on let's see if this has actually got anything in it let's see hi good morning have a birthday oh wow she's really needy like to really nice a little I know a little I think you're lonely you could play that message yeah every morning of a real person yeah wow it's a shame that she's in Adelaide though yeah yeah've got a free coffee there because of the inconvenience she caused you by messaging you accidentally. It's a weird, it's a very weird line, isn't it?

Yeah, I don't know what the end goal is there, but I guess book a flight to Adelaide and let's find out. Mmm. Meet up a good healthy Do they just kill you when you arrive? I think so, right. That's going to be the end game. Yeah, you've got a good healthy set of lungs in there. Yeah, maybe they're organ harvesting. Yeah, it's probably organ harvesting. You go to a Gloria jeans at one of Adelaide's many fine shopping centres. And then you never come home, but your lungs... They spend 25 seconds looking you up and down, working out whether or to, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But your lungs, they find a new home. They spend 25 seconds looking you up and down, working out whether or not to hit you with

the big hammer in the head or in the chest, just depending on. They look at you and they go, this guy's definitely not a smoker. So it's got to be a head conk for sure. Because we're gonna want the stuff that's in the chest. It's got a crooked nose nose nose nose nose tha tha tha got a crooked nose tha. tha. tha. tha. thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to thi. to to to to to to the the the. thi. thi. to to the. to the to the. to to to to to hit to hit to hit to hit to hit to hit to hit to hit to hit to hit to hit thu. to hit th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. theat theat the theat the the theat the the theat. the theat theat theat to hit theat to hit to hit to hit theat the and that's not going to make me any money if I just... So, probably... Sorry, what's the alternative here? Are they trying to like harvest brains for illegal brain transplants? Or they just need your precious brain information for like credit card numbers and stuff? They need faces for face-offs. Yeah. And iTunes gift card.

The brain is just biomas. That's just sweet cream on top. Turn that into molasses. What? If I know anything about biomass. I thought you're talking about turning cream into molasses, like some sort of magical alchemy. I think of a gass into molasses. What are you fucking talking about? Theas into molasses. What are you fucking talking about?

He's like talking up. The gas into molasses. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, he's either looking this up or he's looking at something completely unrelated. Hey, look, I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that if we did a survey of hosts of this show that three out of four of them would have no fucking idea what Theo was talking about.

And that's an amazing quality of data science. It is, of course. And of course, that means that it must be time for the poll report. Halfway. Halfway. Hesley, there will be Porthy. It's thee bowed to parthe, how soon to go ahead. It's always that last little bit where it gets you.

It's like to be the last little bit where it gets you. It's like 30% longer than you expect every time. It's always that last little bit where it gets you. It's like 30% longer little bit where it gets you. It's like 30% longer than you expect every time. There's two fake out endings there for sure. This is the god damn final, it's return of the king, the song. So parents at a piano recital thinking that they're about to...

Oh, no, it's not finished. Yeah, picking up the jacket from the floor. Oh, for, it's not finished. Yeah. Picking up the jacket from the floor. Oh, for fuck's sake. Don't clap yet. From our pizza industry news powerhouse, pizza marketplace, Tick Tock restaurant videos spurring orders, comma, diner visits. More than half of millennial Tick Tock users, 53% have visited or ordered food from a restaurant after viewing the dining location on TickTock.

That can't be nice. I'm millennial. I'm millennial. This is, I think the point that I realize that completely. Yeah. We're not millennial Tick Tock users though. Lucy, do you have it installed on your phone? I do, only because sometimes you have to open it to like open a Tick Tock link that someone sent you. Yeah.

But I don't use it. I only watch the Reels function on Instagram. Yeah, which is TikTok for Millennials. Yeah, which is TikTok for millennials. Yeah, thii. Yeah, which is th is thi, which is thi, which is thi. Yeah. Yeah, which is thi. Yeah, which is that's is thi. that's thi. that's that's that's that's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. thi. thi. thi. Loo. thi. to to to to thi. to to to to thi. toooooooo. to thi. thi. thi. thi that I'm a millennial wants to see is so that's nice. Thank you. I think in a lot of ways all of the social media websites sort of do a good job of just cross pollinating to each other anyway. Yeah. Like, you know, if you're on Twitter, you don't need to be a Tumblr user. Yeah, because you get all the good stuff. Yeah, they'll just screen cap all those exchanges and threads for you and you'll get it without having to like wade through all the DV in that stuff.

Because on Tumblr I have literally never seen a comment or a reply or a thread. Well no, because... I've only ever seen like pictures arranged in a grit. On Tumbly you'll see th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th out th out thi tho tho thi the the the the their their their their their their the, the, the, the, the the, thu. I'll thus thus thus thus thus thus thus th. th. th. th. th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You'll th. You'll th. You'll th. You'll th. thi. the, the, the, the, the, the, thea. We'll just just just, theanan. We'-auuu. We'-I. We'-I'-I'll just just just just just just just screen, theateatea. I'll you'll see that there's a list of people that re-blogged it and then that part of the UI will just scroll down seemingly infinitely and maybe there's a funny comment in there I don't know. Yeah I don't know how to see those. Yeah if you know how tumblar works get in touch. And then yeah and. Yeah people people really love telling me about that Which is nice of them because it's like people that know me in real life I like, ha ha I saw this thing that you post on the internet and I please don't tell me about that I hope I look at the comments that a bunch of people be in they're like I'm gonna to the the the the comments the comments the comments the comments. the comments a the comments a the comments a the comments a the comments a the comments a the comments a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch of th of a bunch of a bunch of th of th of a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of th. th. th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho kill this man. Yeah. Please don't. Yeah I got a

friend who sends me who used to send me when when I pop up in one of those like Buzzfeed end of year kind of lists you know. Here's just a bunch of funny tweets from Australians that we've put together and to her that's fame. So here's with the stats again, because I don't really feel like I've wrapped my mind. Like, I feel like I know what this is, but I just don't believe it. So far you've been hit by one statistic. More than half of millennial TikTok users. Yes. 53% have visited or ordered food from a restaurant after viewing the dining location on TikTok. Now I've got a little, I got a little issue with this, right?

I'm going to imagine if I were a dedicated TikTok user, it kind of makes me wonder how many restaurant-related Tick Tocks would I see where the restaurant was in Canberra? Probably not many. More about it for that matter. Yeah, yeah. Are they traveling to other countries or cities to visit these restaurants? Are they placing an order to a place that cannot possibly hope to deliver to them? Hmm. When it comes to all TikTok users, 38% around 51.8 million diners have visited or ordered

food from a restaurant after seeing a video. See now that's quite interesting because what that implies is that millennials and upwards are more likely to do it than Zoomers are. Which, you know, we can, there's two possible readings of this. The first is that Zoomers are slightly cannier about social media and about marketing and stuff, so they're not duped by this sort of thing because we're kind of, we're old, dumb fucks at this point. Or, they're cowards and they don't like going places. I think they're too scared to call on the phone and make a booking. Yeah. They would rather get something delivered than go than go sit at a

restaurant. Possibly. They'd rather get an Uber-eated to their house. What is a what is a like a restaurant? Tick-Tock is it by the do they go and they look up is it just influences going to a cool restaurant? Yeah or that would be my guess. Okay. I've definitely seen Karen's diner tick-tocs. That's the only restaurant I can think of seeing there's loads of Karen's diner ones. That's a little place called with our favorite. I think it's probably a combination of like the restaurants doing it themselves, influences doing it, and then people just doing like funny goof-goof videos where they happen to be at an in and out or whatever. Hey look, I tried to eat an in and out burger wrong and then videoed the staff while they watched me mash it into my eye socket. Yeah, like pointing around themselves with the text of all of the things that they tried to flush down the toilil to to to to to to toyilet the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. thoome. thoome. thoome. their. the. the. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. the. the. try. try. I'm. I'm. try. I'm. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. flush down the toilet read in the Tick-Tock voice. Yeah. This is of course. I tried to flush my foot down an in and out burger toilet but it got stuck in there and they made fun of me and they called the police. And they're in and out

burger to know how many people they polled and the method and everything. What's the last line of the article you're reading? Oh well, as far as I know, they don't say that in the last line. These are top findings from a national survey released by MGH. Like, tel the findings. Got a real secret agent live to it. I think top findings are just what they call, aren't they like the top line findings of like the main items from a survey and then they break it down from there.

They should say top line if that's what they mean. I could be wrong. I might be wrong. This might be like an English schoolboy. Say these findings are tops. I say. Double seven. The social media platform has 136 million US users and one billion worldwide. That's fucked up. How old's TikTok now? That's a lot, huh?

Like, it's... My, my understanding, right, is that, is that, it was only, like, in the last quarter, or, it's only in the last, like, thr first ever like lower number of users. Oh right. No, no, like the first time that they have ever had a lower number of monthly active users

at the end of the quarter or whatever than the entire history of the company. So they've been theoretically experiencing growth this entire time, although how many of those are you know real accounts and all that sort of stuff. Whereas in terms of just growth with new users, Tick Tock is absolutely bananas. Tick Tock was founded in 2016, launched in 2016 I should say but became the most downloaded app in the US in October of 2018, so about four years of being in the zeitgeist. The survey also revealed that Tick-Tock videos are prompting users to travel longer distances for a dining experience and swaying them to spend more money than they usually would, according to a press release from Tick Tock's advertising department, I guess.

It's just the Michelin guide for zoomers. Get in your car. Yeah. Get on your e-scooter scooter and vape your way to our restaurant. Just trying to sell more e-scouder rides. That's where the real buddy is. There's no margins on food, but those e-scooter guys are raking it in and hand over fist. Of the TikTok users polled, 30% have traveled longer than they normally do to visit a restaurant after seeing it on TikTok, and 28 have visited a restaurant that was slightly more expensive than the ones they usually visit after seeing it on Tick-toc. So. So. So. So. So. So the their. So their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th-I. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. I I I I. I. I th. I's. I's the. I's t. I's tttttttttttttttoday, tttoday, today, today, today, ttoday, today, ttoday, todthe ones they usually visit after seeing it on TikTok. So they've upgraded from McDonald's to like Nando's is what I'm hearing that.

They said, no more hungry jacks for me, I'm going to Guzman E. Gomez. Do you think Zuma's eat at Nandoz? I don't think they do. Oh, absolutely not. Does anyone eat at Nando's? Yeah, I don't mind. I like Nando's. I like a little Nandoz. Yeah. No Zuma has been to. Flame grilled chicken. They're not going to Nando's. They're not going to a porto. They're not doing it. I think I have I haven't eaten in Nandoz for years and years. Now that I think about it, I'm like. Is the most Nando's-ass place I can think of.

I can't think of one. Is one in Cambrus Center? Oh yeah, no. Is that one of the Cambrus Center? There might be. I think there's one of the- in Canberra. The shop FG1 in section 48 if that uh... Check out the Canberra Center Nando's. It helps you at all.

Next to the recently closed Jamie Oliver restaurant. You remember when Jamie Oliver said it's not in vogue to hit your kids anymore? Yeah, he's like it's out of fashion. When did he say that? Oh, it's so good. Yeah. Before after the liquidationation of several of the the of of the of of the of of the the th of th of the th of several of several of several of several of several of several of several of several of several of several of several of several the ofationation of several. It's out of fashion. When did he say that? Oh, it was recently. Yeah. Before after the liquidation of several of his restaurants in Australia. I'm just going on.

Interesting. But yeah, when like, I feel like I probably last went to Anandos in like Melbourne, but it's just that kind of, it's a weird price point as a as a fast-casual fast food restaurant. Like because you go in you go yeah I'll have a bit of chicken and some chips, some of that Prego dipping sauce. It's because you get to sit down. It's a luxury dining experience. Yummy and you say have you written a marketing copy before? And you say I would also like a bottle of Coca-Cola zero sugar or whatever and they say here it is That'll be like $30. Yeah

And I say why are they in an actual restaurant then? I think you know, it's too expensive for fast food? It's's too expensive for fast food but it's it's not as nice as just like going into a restaurant and getting a fucking $30 main you know. Nando's on blast. Yeah you're on blast Nandoz you're canned you're fucked up. So Andrew you're sure you haven't seen the Johnny Oliver thing. Check this out about hitting you kid Jamie Oliver makes his children eat chilies as punishment when they're naughty because beating kids is quote, not very fashionable anymore. If you're a celebrity chef like me, it does not look very good in the paper, Oliver, apparently said of physical discipline.

So you need a few of shows. It doesn't look great for anyone. Yeah, what about? I think he's really ttaking that message in, is he? So instead I tear gas my children. Yeah, I think that'll, that'll seem better. That part, objectively funny though. I hate to say it. Put this in your mouth, your little shit.

I hate to say it, Mr. Oliver, but I really doubt that like, CPS would look much more fondly on making your kids eat chilies as a punishment as they would on like Hitting them, you know fucking just being like oh no no No, you see it's not actually causing them physical damage Our brain is telling us that it's painful because there's an evolutionary response to stop us from you know What I'll make you listen to this podcast about it like On the Nando's website it does say don't worry. We'll be back soon. We're experiencing supply and staff shortages across many of?? due to COVID-19. So you may find that your local Nandoz is closed or that your usual order is currently unavailable. No one wants to work anymore.

I should call it Nan doesn't. That's so true. Nan don't. Yeah. If you're a zoomer, can you write in and tell us what the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool the cool true. Nan don't. Yeah. If you're a Zuma, can you write in and tell us what the cool restaurants are? Yeah, where do you guys go? Because you're not like catching the bus to Westfield Hornsby to get a portow. Because no one would do that in their right mind anymore. What are you guys doing that's like the spot for zoomers?

Like grilled, Grilled feels millennial. It's... No, Zuber is like, I'm gonna have the avocado chips at grilled. And buy a fucking $15 pay-lail or whatever. Yeah, little creatures I believe. So if, uh, anyone born after 1996 according to peer research if you were born after 1996 and for some reason you listen to this show, drop us a line at mailbag at Wintovista.com if you're willing to do something that isn't just like sending voice notes to friends. Now if they're born in 1996, that makes them... 10 years old. 16.

15, no 2020. I think 6 years old. Yeah. I can't be right. Yeah. Hey, I just saw a thing saying that, uh, Rage Against the Machine's self-titled album was released on this day, 30 years ago. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, they they're th, th th, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th. th- th. th. th. th. th. th-in, th. th-in, th-in, th-in. thi thi-in. thi-in. thate-in. thate-in. thate-in. thate-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i- album was released on this day 30 years ago. No, no.

And I immediately made the noise that Ralph makes in The Simpsons when Lisa breaks his heart. It really does happen, how, when you get old and you're like, oh, I feel bloody old. I have a really, I keep having this thing happen where I remember being, I would have been like 13 years old and my girlfriend who was also 13 at the time, don't take that out of context. We were both 13. Ben's 13 year old girlfriend, yeah. She was buying some sort of like, I don't know, buying some clothes from JJs or whatever whatever and I remember her mom who now is probably like then was not that much older than I am now being like oh that's the stuff we used to wear and it looks like shit looking back at it and be like, what a weird thing to say that now I see Zuma's wearing like early 2000s clothes and I'm like

no it's embarrassing you don't know that you're wearing bad clothes. How do I tell you this? You look ridiculous. They got baggy jumpers. How about a nice fitted blazer? You know, how about some nice fitted skinny jeans? Why don't you just wear skinny jeans? You look silly. You're wearing mum jeans, you look silly. What's up with those high waist if you can, oh no, because they're going back to low rise aren't they? Apparently. Don't don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theea. they they they they they they their their their their they're they're they're they're they're going back to low-rise, aren't they? Apparently. I don't. Don't do it. Going into an H&M store is just a nightmare. It's chaos in there. It's Y2K in there. It's fucked up. I didn't get to the second half of that sentence, which was, uh, if you were born

after 1996 and can operate the email, please send an email to Mailbag at Buntavista.com and let us know, have you been to Nandoz? Was anybody anywhere near your own age there who had not been dragged there by their parents? Was it ironic? Like were you doing irony? I don't know the Nandoz is a joke? You were tick-talking at the whole time. Go to Nando's Challenge. 2020. You have to try th th th th th th th th to th th to to th to th th to th to tho to tho tho to tho tho tho tho to tho tho tho tho to tho tho th You have to try this. This is how they get you. This is how they drag people in there. But if you do not attend your local Nando's, we simply must know, what is the fast casual

restaurant of choice for the zoomers of today? You know? Yeah, where are you going? Well, like we're not going to meet up there with you, but just like, tell, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi, th is th is th is th is th is th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th is th, th is th is th is th is th is th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. This is thi. This is thatea. This is thatea. This is that, that, that, that, thi. This is thiay. You know? Yeah, where are you going? Now, like, we're not gonna meet up there with you, but just like, tell us, tell us what you guys are doing now. If you leave the house, you're going into Queen Street Mall, you're not going into the hungry jacks. No. Where are you going? Do you, is, is McDonald's timeless? I think so. I think so. It's got to be timeless.

Because it's cheap. I guess. How much cheaper than Nando's? It's fucking cheaper than Nando's. I'll tell you that. I don't be just. Yeah, much you're making a big... Yeah, it's like, Nando's is like $14 for a meal. No, the first time I went into Nand was flabbergasted, it was awful.

I hated it. I looked it up. You can cook a piece of chicken at home, it cost you nothing. Lunch used to cost $0.00. Lunch used to cost $0.00. Now it cost $0.00. Now it's $0.00. The bus used to 40, then they went up to 50. Then they dropped them back to 30. But he's done. Now it's a dollar. Now it's a dollar. It's a dollar? I think it's a dollar. Fuck off! Don't fact check that. Don't write into me if it's wrong. Don't ever fact check us. A robot machine that pay pass five bucks. You used to be free to go to the truck stuff.

Theo, uh, half a chicken, half a chicken, regular side, regular drink, $20. Half a chicken is a premium meal. No, that's premium. A half a chicken is 90% bones. A half a chicken, a class 5% food. I'm getting that classic wrap, you know. You have to accept that you're going, you're extending yourself here. A classic wrap of your choice bundled with fresh tomato and aoli plus a regular side and drink 1845. Fuck off. Quarter chicken and chips. Country's

and of course you immediately say to yourself, well I want a bigger chips and I want a sauce. I want to think twice as much size. All of a sudden, I mean, I got to get my, um, I got to get my saucy. I'm gonna get my saucy when I'm there. I want the, I want the, I want the, the Prego sauce. And I'm not paying $15. You can't pay $15. You can still get a the the the the the the the the the the the $15. the th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the $1. th. the $1. th. th. the $1. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I the, I th. th. th. th. th. th. And, I th. th. And all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. There's the worst podcast. It's such a dumb fucking podcast. Chewing into here, Millennials complain about the price of Nando's. Like four sentences in this article have had 20 minutes of just money on the price of Nando's. Where are you? Where are you? Why are you listening? Why are you listening?

I'm a quarter piece of chicken. That's a thigh, thigh and a leg. Where the the the the th. Where th. Where th. Where th.. Where thi. Where th. Where thi. Where thi. Where thi. Where thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the their th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the th. I th. M. I th. I thi. I thi. I are thi. I are thi. I I are thi. I are fu. I fu. I fu. I fu. I'm fu. I'm fu. I fu. I'm fu. I'm fu. Ia. I fu. I fu. I'm. I'm. I'm thuucoe. I'm thucooome. Mck. I'm the the thuice. M? That's a thigh and a leg, 895. Nothing else. Fuddly, that's a thigh and a leg, 895. Nothing else. Nothing else. Fucking hell. God damn it. So, uh, quite. What this survey shows is that this once dismissed social network Tick-Tock, okay, has completely changed the way people behave where they spend their time

and more importantly how they spend their money. I don't think that's true. I don't think it's completely changing if one 30% of people have been to a restaurant on there. He's just describing the phenomenon of people seeing things and going, I might try that, which applies to TV, billboards, conversations with your friends. Yeah, but this is on the internet now. Yeah, if I see a YouTube video about going to dad knows, I'll consider going back there. I'll do it. I mean really, really what he's saying is, um,ick-tock is a place where you can advertise. Yeah. Like, I think, I think surely, if we're talking about like cause and effect, surely what we're actually talking about is that more millennials and zoomers look at

tick toc than the other places where you can advertise stuff. Where else can you advertise? Where there's a whole bunch of people communicating that there's some sort of memetic effect going on here. Are you fucking with me on this? Some sort of fast casual dining memetic virus? Spread exclusively on TikTok. Look, where else you're advertising Nandoz? Bus stop ad, newspaper, FoxTel commercials, zoomers will not be witnessing any of these things. Language virus from Pontypool, etc. Those guys they pay to go around in threes on mopeds with the tiny toeble billboards I think those are mostly Nando's ads. Well the problem is a single person buys

nandoz from having said the word Nandoz 5,000 times in this episode. Someone's thinking about it. Don't. Don't do it. They got that lemon and herb sauce. They got the. Oh, the only non-spicy one? Yeah.

Your favorite? It's nice. It's kind of a smoky flavor from the real real. to Nando's and you eat meat and that's what you're thinking about. I want you to go to your local butcher and buy a whole chicken and then just season and roast that mothfuck of yourself. It's got to go a lot further and you'll have the frame there to make a stock out of that's a soup baby. You can make a pair of pear chips though. You can make a pair of pear chips at home. You can buy the seasoning in the supermarket. You can buy the little Nando sources at the supermarket. Yeah. We've moved beyond the need for Nando's. We don't need Nando's society.

We don't need fast casual diet. We'll, I mean, we're still going there, but we'll die out eventually. Yeah. I'm like a Nando's free society. I think the problem is if you if you do try to advertise Nando's in the physical space, don't throw you a joke. With your sandwich boards, perhaps skyriding, you know, maybe a nighttime synchronized drone display over the skyline. The problem is, all those damn zoomers are just going to be looking down at their phones. They're not going to see it. Kind of like zombies.

Yeah. I actually have a deviant page dedicated to try to depict this for now. Ryan Goff, EVP of social media marketing director at MGH. Right, sorry, before you continue, Alien versus Predator and Metal Gear Hollard. This is our discord that would have crushed. What do you mean by that? What do you mean? I'm sorry, it took me a second. It took me a second.

God damn it. Ryan Goff, EVP, social media marketing director at MGH. Set in the release while rubbing his fingers and thumb together. Tick Tock truly is a restaurant marketer's dream come true. And if there's any group of people that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that that that that that that that that would that that that that that that that that would that that that that that that that that that that that that that.. that that that that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that.truly is a restaurant marketers dream come true. And if there's any group of people that we want to make their dreams come true, it's restaurant marketers. How many restaurants is any one person marketing? I think you're either a marketer or you're just trying to market your own restaurant, right?

Yeah. People are specializing in marketing restaurants, Lucy? Not that I know of. KFC's got it on lock, you know, they've got the top team. No one's marketing any restaurant better than KFC. Alex, we do love you very, very much. Personally, that both as a friend and as a listener of this show. I do hate the ads though. So I, we can't go off on a ticket. But then I'm like, oh I could go a twister though. I could eat some KFC. It's all just like a granny farting in somebody's mouth and then going, did somebody say KFC? I don't care. I think they actually target the five post videos based on your internet footprint so you might be everyone's big notes. Surprising outlay of budget for an ad that is targeted just to me. Ryan continues there aren't many other tools we have left in

our marketing toolbox that can drive the sort of impact promised by Tick Tock through this survey. I mean, Tick Tock didn't promise it. You did, it's your survey. The survey results also indicated reasons why Tick Tock users chose to visit a restaurant after seeing it on the platform. All right, are we ready? Are we ready to finally, are we ready to have like a real FBI profiler type look inside the mind of a zoomer who has been influenced by...

Call me Aaron Hodgner Andrew. Yes. I actually don't want to know what's in there. The zoomer who has been influenced by the nefarious Chinese app, Tick. I just want to, and this is, I'm not saying it for any reason why we have no value judgments. We're at minute 39 of the podcast. Are you ready, folks? Oh, we're having a real Hannibal-Ector moment here. We're going, just like the movie The Cell, we're going inside the mind of Vincent and Offrio's serial killer to see. That's right that's a fucked up horse it here yeah yeah there's a Nando's sign all right here are the reasons why tick-to-talk users chose to visit a restaurant after seeing another platform 72% said it was appetizing looking food

yeah yeah food's good classic restaurant shit that'll do that's how they get you that's one of one of the the top reasons the the the the the the the the the the the the the tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t shit. That's how they get you. That's one of the top reasons I would visit a restaurant is if I thought I would enjoy the food. 45% said it was a unique menu item. You know that means something bad. Yeah. Oh, that sucks. I know, as soon as I read that, I picture the, um, the, um, the food food, the, um, the food food, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the th. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that means something bad. Yeah, this is something that sucks. I know as soon as soon as I read that, I picture the gold flake coated Tomahawk steak at the stupid Salt Bay guys restaurants. I'm looking at a fucked up Starbucks order where it's like here's you have to get your uniform, unicorn mermaid frap or whatever. Fucking we all saw that like the thread of the person being like here's a bunch of

unique Starbucks combos I've invented and like named them and then listed all the ingredients to order them. It's just the most American shit in the world. Just drink a fucking go in and be like, do you guys do a filter coffee? I'll have a filter coffee, thank you. Done. Walk out. Whatever happened to coffee flavored coffee, fucking Dennis Leary over here. Yeah. Yeah. I hate us.

I'm angry, Australia. I do agree, though, go in and get yourself a milkshake. Do you sell milkshakes is what you're meaning to ask, I think. Do you have something that would make my dentist cry I don't have a dentist just kidding I just think that once we can fun from we can make a podcast fun for now I just bought a TV 42% said that it looked like a fun place to go with friends or family Terrans I'd love it if someone called my five-year-old little fuckhead.

Yeah, let's get him down there. Like seeing a video on Tick Tock and thinking, yeah, my kid does need to be brought down a pig. There's only one time I've ever considered a restaurant to be fun. It's the time that for some reason the instead of being a single little creatures for $15 at the grilled in I think it was upstairs at Winter Garden yeah upstairs at Winter Garden. Oh I've been to that one yeah with you I have been there with you with me and me and Marbon. Now instead of a 15 dollars for a single beer it was $15 for a bucket. So we were there all night.

Oh boy. All night long. That's a deal. That's a deal. They kicked us out completely, fucking hammered. Some sort of like, like, ursery mistake? That's so... You shouldn't be able to drink like more than you can have a beer with your

burger at grilled and then you have to leave. You can't have a session at grill. I feel like that's the social contract. It's like you can have one beer. You can't just order beers at grilled. They're all looking over at you and going, we don't know what to do. There's no rule against it. And I do agree with you with you with you with you with you the the their their their their their th you with you with you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th. L. L. L. th. th. th. th. th. to to thi thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to be to be to be to be th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. th do. Yeah, it's legal. There's no rule against it. Yeah, there's no rule against it. And I do agree with you, Lucy, on like moral and ethical grounds, but it was also a $15

dollar bucket. So yeah, you're not at fault. It's not your fault. We found a hole in the system where they wrote it up on the chalkboard and then we went to the counter and we paid for it multiple times. 38% said it showed a cool way of serving the food or drink. Anyone else picturing like those milkshakes with all the like, you know? That's, that was millennial bullshit. I don't think Zoom is doing that one. Yeah, that's true. Well, what, like what other cool way is there to serve food? Slimes? I think they're like slimes and goops. Yeah. Got anything like-based?

Or ironic foods? I've served your burger in the shape of the Taj Mahal. Is this funny? Don't know. 37% said it showed a cool atmosphere. Okay. And 30% said it showed a cool atmosphere. Okay? And 30% said it had a great view. Now that's just nice. That's someone doing Rekon and being like,

oh you have a beautiful view over the lake from that five guys. I really love to look over that lake while eating a burger. Let's go to that five guys. That Nandoz has a spectacular view of the Bavarian Alps. The national survey polled 1,139 US Tick-Tock users. That's a pretty good number. From July 16th to 18th this year. On the American though, so that makes more sense in terms of I went to a

place. I think what's not what's not clear. Although their chains are hyper fragmented, they're markets, you know they have regional things in a way that we don't particularly. Yeah they do. So I don't know they might have the same geographical challenges as described. particularly. Yeah, they do. So I don't know, they might have the same geographical challenges as described. Yeah, what's not clear to me is how much of what people are talking about or responding to is like actual advertising and how much of it is someone who is like an influencer getting some money or whatever to be like, I love going to TGI Fridays with my besties. Yeah, you know because it that then sort of

makes me go like the advertising you can target but the influencer shit you I guess you could just be like yeah you probably just pay influences for like to go to tGI Fridays. No no no I'm saying you can absolutely pay an... To go to TGI Fridays? No, no, no, I'm saying you can absolutely pay an influencer to go to TGI Fridays, but what I'm, I think what I'm getting at is that you don't control who follows the influences and sees their posts. You know what I mean? In terms of trying to target who sees your advertising.

I think the thing is they go go go go go go go go they go they go they go they go they go they go they thing is, they go one level above, where they try and make an atmosphere that's conducive to influences, which is why Karen Steiner. Which is why everywhere fucking sucks. Because they want it to be the type of place that, you know, five years ago it was having a bunch of dumbass neon signs everywhere so people would want to take a photo but now they want an environment where where the to take a video in front of it and then put

that video on damn, TikTok and Reels for their friends to see and go, fuck, that five guys there is a spectacular view. I'm going to have a burger there. What happened to the yonder days of restaurant influencing where there was an old Italian guy that stood out yelling at you. Hey, you look like you'd eat some rigatode. Where else you're gonna go? All these other places, shit, shit, shit, shit. You come into my place or I kill you. Ah!

Oh! Oh, my wife, she'd not be so ugly after she eats here. And that worked! Everyone loved that system! Can I have a look at the menu? I gotcha. Hello, it's me. Ben, from this podcast.

Marian Webster defines a podcast as a program made available in digital format for automatic download over the internet. And that simply could not be more true. If you like what we do and want more of this podcast made available to you in digital format for automatic download over the internet, simply go to Patreon. to the to'n'ev. And hit the enormous red button that says subscribe. For five US dollars a month you get access to our weekly bonus episodes, our exclusive Discord server, and an RSS feed of both the bonus episodes and free episode that doesn't have these ads in them. That sweet, sweet subscriber cash allows me to do this show full-time without having to get a real job,

and frankly, that whips to me. The other guys also get some money or whatever, but I don't really care. Anyway, check that out if it sounds good to you. Love you. Well if there's one thing we all love it's going into restaurants and stuffing our faces like a bunch of disgusting pigs. Now pigs, one of nature's most noble, clever, loyal animals. It's time for Nature Corner. I'm having a hard time because I'm just, Ben I really have to commend you for the breadth of publications that you are willing to look into to bring us stories for the show. We did start off with Pizza Marketplace, the Pizza Industry News website. We are now on to, of course, the extremely well-known Golf Course Management Magazine.

Yep, GCM. That's right. Oh, that is... Oh, you're not a GCM subscriber? You're not a reader? Oh, boy. I share a membership. Oh, that's hit me just right. But hey, let's, let's, let's hustle up and see if we can squeeze a second article into this book. It might be a stretch. When we do it. So from GCM, the beloved GCM, uh, green eggs and ham?

Green eggs and ham? Oh, green eggs and ham? Hmm. Hmm. Strange sentence, but odd. So the question. Green's eggs and ham? Oh? No, sorry, greens. Oh, greens.

Oh, I fucked that up. So, ham is in hogs. Yep. Greens is in the green. You're putting green. Golf courses. Like the golf ball? I guess the golf balls are kind of their eggs.

If you're a golfer, let us know if you call them like eggs. They're a like like like like like like like like like like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, the that's, the that's the gulf the gulf the gulf that's eggs, the gulf the gulf the gulf that's eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, the gulf balls, the gulf the gulf the gulf the gulf the gulf the gulf the gulf the gulf the the gulf the the the the the the the the gulf balls, the the the the gulf the gulf that's that's the that's the that's the gulf the the the the the the tholfolfolfol-a, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, the the tha, a golfer, let us know if you call them like eggs. Are they a little like, that's a duck egg. Ooh, that's an egg in one. Me and the boys are. Yeah, we're going out with a bucket of eggs. We're going to have a little bit of egg time. Hey brother, you want to smash theto the egg cleaner. Give these eggs a wash. I don't want to bring the show to a screeching halt or anything, but I do just need to pause

for a second and address this. I just want to issue an official apology from the Bontevister podcast for missing the pun in the headline of Greens, Eggs and Ham. My apologies to the editors and staff of Golf Cause Management Taxi. They do good work over there. We will do better. It's like, it doesn't make it make a lot more sense, but, you know. It makes it make 33% more sense than it did.

A scarrick more sense, you know. Still missing a crucial third. Scoch more sense than it did. A Scaric more sense, you know. Still missing a crucial third. Scoch more sense. Love a good word count style of article. Let's get into this. While most readers might be thinking of a nice, juicy Thanksgiving turkey when they read this. I was. Yeah, I was, if you could see my thought bubble, like in a cartoon, big old turkey when they read this. I was. If you could see my thought bubble

like in a cartoon, big old turkey. Rotating a big wet turkey. Giant rotisserie. This, I mean like that's, there's a pretty strong implication there that they believe that most of their readers are just picturing a nice juicy Thanksgiving turkey at all times and then they've picked up the magazine, you know. Others however may be leaning toward a big plump ham to adorn the dinner table. And why not? Han's not dinner? Is ham dinner?

I wouldn't have just like a ham and then some stuff myself. No, that'd be odd. A ham is sort of the thing that you have at a Christmas lunch that's a side option to the roast that you got going. Yeah, yeah that's tomorrow's meat that ham. Yes. The meat of the future. That's future. What about a, what about though, well I guess, I I think you can have ham for dinner in the form of like you know, I th a slice a grilled pineapple on top you know has had that since 1973 51 minutes and 39 seconds just incidentally yeah it's just rolling off we can it seems that in some areas of the country a whole freezer full of fresh ham pork chops and bacon might be as close as the nearest golf course.

Why is there a freezroom on the golf course? Well if you can Jimmy the lock on the clubhouse door. There's actually several meals there. Someone's just reading the first paragraph, dropping the magazine, getting their crowbar. Stranning. Straight to the car. Hey, running, straight to the car. Hey, hey, hey, everyone, that's a free dinner.

As it turns out, Thanksgiving guests are not the only hungry ones. This is great writing, I'm going to say it. Like, it's really creative. Yeah, they've picked a theme and they've stuck with it. Guy who's only attended Thanksgiving is getting big Thanksgiving vibes from this pig story. Invasive wild pigs have become such a problem on golf courses in Texas that a group of researchers from Texas A&M University Commerce and New Mexico State University conducted a study to pinpoint the level of damage these grub eating porkers are causing on

causes and the answer tops 1.3 million dollars. That rules. That's hardly it's hardly anything. Grub eating porkers. You don't have to bend so nasty. It's a horrible way to describe anyone. So I don't care if it's a feral pig. Behind your backs. And to our faces as well. I just don't I don't really get what's a feral pig. All three of you behind your backs. And to our faces as well. I just don't, I don't really get what's wrong with an animal eating grubs. Like, that seems pretty... I mean, they destroy the topsoil and stuff like they're, you know, destroy native wildlife and food sources for native wildlife.

They're objectively bad, but don't be rude to the that the pig is doing what a what a pig does that's all you know I don't I don't think that that eating eating the grubs is like a fundamentally a moral act on the part of the pigs no there's no need for name calling like don't add home you know yeah yeah if you've got a real debate to have with a pig then have it the pigs are attracted by water certain weeds and grubs living in the turf and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the grubs and the grubs and the grubs and the grubs and the grubs and the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs thubs thubs is gubs the grubs is gubs is grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs the grubs and the grubs and the grubs and the grubs and the grubs and the grubs and the grubs and thubs and thubs and tububububes tubes and thubs and tubes thubs tubes tubes tubes and tububes thubs thubs thubs and thubs thubs thubs and thubs thubs thubs thubs thubs and pig, then have it. The pigs are attracted by water, certain weeds, and grubs living in the turf, and they are messy eaters. They are also as smart as the fictional Arnold Ziffel of Green Acres fame, tough to trap and quick learners.

A bunch of damn Arnold Ziffles. Soon as I look at a feral pig, first thing in my mind is Arnold Ziffel was a pig. Yeah, oh. I didn't know that I've never, you might shock people to know but I have not seen many episodes of Green Acres the American Situation Comedy that aired on CBS from 1965 to 1971. I haven't seen it. what was he was the the the the theyn. then. the the. the th. th. th. th. thab. First thab. thab. thab thab thab thab thab thab the the the the the the the the the the the the first first the the the the first the the first the the the first the the the their first first first the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the first. First. First. First. First. First. First. First. First. First. First. First. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. But. I'm. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. But. But. I. the. I. the, the American Situation Comedy that aired on CBS from 1965 to 1971. I haven't seen it. What was he making like sexist remarks or something? Well, look, you know, I'm looking at a picture and they do have the pig wearing sunglasses

at some point of the show. Now that's cool. That's pretty good. TV used to be so much better. They had a horse that talked. They had a pig with sunglasses. Although that that that that the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, thee, thi, thi, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thee, better. They had a horse that talked. They had a pig with sunglasses. Although the pigs, the pig that played the pigs, Wikipedia article has one of those flags at the top say that might not meet Wikipedia's general notability guidelines. Pigs not famous enough to have its own Wikipedia page. How dare they.

Although, look, to be honest, from what I can see of the show, we've got the pig, he's holding some stuff and carrying it over to someone, it might be a newspaper. He's also pictured sitting at a desk in a schoolroom. He is pictured wearing sunglasses while an adult man holds a cocktail for him. And all of this makes me think that maybe they chose the wrong pig to cast as a big dummy you know so I don't I don't think the I don't think they say the pig's dumb or they send the pig's smart maybe they are saying he's smart they're saying he's smart they're saying

smart folks I need to pause for a second and address this this big's got a hat on. That's smart. I just want to address a second apology to the editors and staff of Golf Cost Management Magazine for once again misunderstanding and misrepresenting their article. 56 minutes, about 15 seconds. Hope that we are, hope that we don't have to enter into any kind of, you know, legal. And you'll probably have trouble cutting any of this out as well.

Yeah, this has been tight. There's been high and tight. It's the problem that's all fire. Quotes. Typically reported feral swine damages included rooting. Wink. Compacting soil. swine damages included rooting, wink, wink, compacting soil, wallowing and trampling. Yeah, not wallowing, that classic pig behavior.

I'm sick of these pigs wallowing on my golf course. Knock it off! Our objectives in this study were to characterize the economic impact of wild pigs to Texas golf courses and cemeteries, and to identify those areas of Texas with a greater likelihood of damage. Specifically, we sought to understand the seasonality of damages changes in frequency and severity of impacts and factors associated with damage. Ben, um, when's this article from? Uh, last, the last week or so.

Right, so I'm just, I'm trying to... Somewhere around Thanksgiving. Well, yeah, but where's Thanksgiving in relation to Halloween? Well, Halloween is October 31st, and Thanksgiving is at a different time. Let's find out. Thank you. Thank you. Thursday the 24th of November this year. Right. Oh, so hasn't been yet. It's a whole month away.

I'm not thinking about my ham already. Well, what I'm seeking to suggest, right, is that because of this little part of the study where it says, we're trying to measure the economic impact of wild pigs to Texas golf courses and cemeteries, I think if this article was published before Halloween that this rider would have taken a completely different attack. Yeah, well, so the problem is it was, so they don't give specific days on when things were published on the website, but it does say November November so definitely post Halloween. I think they would have taken the cemetery spooky sick skeleton point of view but instead it's post Halloween they left it a little too late and now they're stuck with picturing

glistening hands and big rotisserie turkeys. Instead of being like, everyone loves skeletons at Hanoline, but what you don't like is the skeleton that's coming from the corpse of the life at your golf course. Because it's dropped off because of hog activity. I look you, they have also just snuck in the cemetery. Yeah, just hidden that one in there. Like these pigs are in the cemetery. That's much funnier to be.

They're both... Going to the cemetery to go like grieve your grandma. There's just pigs smashing through tomestones. I do think, however, that it is less likely that golf course management magazine would write an extensive article about damage to cemeteries. Yeah, that's in the cemetery management magazine. I can't step on their toe. I've got to get a subscription to that.

Is that through else for you? Oh boy. In 2019 and 2020, a researcher team led by Lerong Liu, Associate Professor of Economics and Stephen Schwiff, Professor of Economics, both at Tammu Commerce and Franny Miller assistant professor of agricultural, economics and agricultural business at NMSU, surveyed 389 Texas golf courses and golf associations to learn the extent of the problem. Being a Texas-sized problem, the state was divided

into seven regions. Surveys were returned from 85 golf courses. Which is 85 of great. Yeah, hey, you guys got any pigs over there? Fuck off. All right. Just try to imagine how many people opened this got a sentence into the letter and just tore it up and into the trash can. You know? Surveys were returned from 85 golf courses with the most damage reported from golf courses in the prairies and lakes region and gulf coast region. Damage was most often done to greens and landscaping, but fences and irrigation equipment also fell victim to the boarish, boar, sores and piglets.

This guy just realized he'd done three quite dry paragraphs. Yeah, and I was like, oh fuck, gotta put something there. I'll spice it up a little. I'll make this text wetter. The study was published earlier this year in the Western Economics Forum, a journal of the Western Agricultural Economics Association. As may be expected, always helpful golf course superintendents were happy to share possible solutions to the problem except for the 300 of them who just threw the letter out. Those guys not that helpful.

What are some of their suggestions though? Well, hunting and trapping can help. Yeah. But results-oriented superintendents also make suggestions that. Well, hunting and trapping can help. Yeah. But results oriented superintendents also made suggestions that may help get to the root of the problem. Results oriented. So the other ones aren't results oriented. Their methods oriented? They just love doing it for the joy of killing, but they didn't care what the outcome was. Yeah. Yeah. Gotta blast something. Eradicating the food source, subterranean grubs, acorns, and nut grasses, and fencing out the varmints can discourage hogs when they first visit. Oh, we should just let the pigs have it.

Yeah, that's just the pigs. That's the hogs golf course now. Yeah, either make your golf course, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the pigs, that's the hogs golf course now. Yeah, either make your golf course at like a council park, or give it over to the hogs. Build a hog sanctuary that's nicer than your golf course. That's now we're talking. And I'm results-oriented. A lot of revenue in your local community. The hog sanctuary. You need hog brushes, hog trainers. You're creating jobs.

Yep. People to dress up in hog costumes to be the hog sanctuaries mascot, hogster. Hogg oil. Guys on bikes carrying a hog sanctuary billboard. There's millions of hog dollars that you'll leave it on the table. Brisbane City Council. They should have done that with Victoria Park. Others use dogs to hunt the hogs, pesticides to eliminate food sources, and night vision cameras to track the hogs movements.

We are zero to tango on this hog. Go team is clear. Minuteman missile is loose. Ventulate this full. Porky is in the pie. Repeat, Porky is in the pie. One respondent even set up cameras that automatically send images to a hunter who can go immediately to remove the animals. It's like four in the morning this guys just get like...

Just sitting, waiting? The Skype notification goes up, he goes, whoa, falls out of his hammock, puts a shirt on, pulls a gut off the wall, and then he marks that fool. Blam. Another suggested Rambo style tactics to bring home the bacon. Come on now. Nice. I'm like thoen thoen thoen to to thoen to to to to to to to to to thoen to thoen to thoen thoen thoen thoen thoen. thoen. thoen. thoen. thoen. thoen. thoen. thoen. thoen. thoen. thoen. the the their their their their theiraa. theirp. theirse theirse the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thiaaa. thia. tooen. tooe. tooe. toooooe. tea. teauuuuu. togeau. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. the. the. tooe. tactics to bring home the bacon. Come on now. Nice. I like what you've done there.

Yeah, no one's eating these pigs. What do we think the... Do you reckon they're talking like first blood? First blood part two? What do they mean by that? Are they talking Rambo? Are they talking Rambo? Are they talking Rambo last blood? Because they're very, very, he deploys very different tactics

from movie to movie. I don't think they haven't even seen Rambo. I think they're describing the guerrilla tactics, the one man army tactics, uh, of the first Rambo film. Yeah. Yeah. First you got to get a man with PTSD. You give him an M60. You let him loose on your golf course. Maybe they're just suggesting like having a,

maybe they're just suggesting having Brian Dennahie wander around and just kind of hassle the peak. Well, I think Theo might be on the right thing there. You find someone who looks like they're hitchhiking through town and they've recently experienced trauma and then you make them stamp but blame it on the pigs. You blindfold them, you spin them around five times. Put a bow and arrow in their hands. Man, those hogs just sprayed you with freezing cold water and the prison shouts. You should fuck them up. Quote, be diligent in finding where they sleep during the day. The respondent said, if you can afford it, hire a helicopter hunter to eradicate the herds. Imagine just playing a game of golf.

It's a hog hunter helicopter. The fucking Norwegians from the start of the thing start flying over and randomly firing bullets. Sniper rifle are you? It's not a hog! Is it a part of the Balkrys? I'm picturing a picture of Jurassic Park to the lost world where they're like a, you know, blasting along in their jeeps and motorbikes catching all of the dinosaurs, except it's like 10 normal-sized pigs.

You know? Yeah. We really don't get a picture on the number of pigs, you know? Yeah, I need more information. How bad is the problem? If you listen to this, and you were thinking about writing as the podcast say, I think you'll find it's 30 to 50 ferrel hogs. Don't, don't, don't bother.

Some real thought it would have said it. Yeah, you don't need to, it's okay. So what is a superintendent to do? Well, by following proper handling and cooking guidelines, Ferrel hog cooks up quite nicely. So this Thanksgiving in Texas, the answer to one problem, may also be a question. What's for dinner? How about ham?

Swish. I think you should have finished this article with, uh, ham, please. Fade away, Jum jumper, nothing but net. That's journalism. Well folks, that's it for us. Thank you for starting by. And I'll see you next time. Bye.

Bye. you