Boonta Vista - EPISODE 277: Never Give Your Cow A Second Magnet

Episode Date: December 8, 2022

In this dazzling episode of the largely Queensland-based visionary Australian comedy current events podcast Boonta Vista, the whole team tackles: The achievements of a blind horse, the Shipping Report, getting fingered by Thing, developments in the rendering industry, cow magnets, and owning up to your coffin mistakes. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to Buntavista episode 277. And here we are in the ninth circle of hell. It's a filthy and rotten pit of pure filth, reserved only for the most awful sinners and blights on humanity. Horrible savages like Margaret Thatcher and Pittsburgh Penguins Captain, Sidney Crosby. In the middle of this hellscape, you'll see a filthy black bog surrounded by smoke, bubbling hideously as you peak something emerging from its depths. And we'd like to thank our sponsors Lockheed Martin and the Disney Corporation for making the bog possible.

From out the black pool comes one of the most revolting and loathsome creatures the mind can even conceive of. For it's here that the depths of hell give birth to elf on the shelf. Punishment from the gods for the crimes and sins of humanity. For his many, many sins, there's a man here cursed to spend all of eternity moving this elf into increasingly time-consuming and whimsical positions for a group of ghastly American children. It's Andrew. Andrew, hi. How you feeling about your their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their is their. their is their is their is their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. the. theateathea. I. I' theateateateateat. I' theateateat.eat.eat.eat.eat. I.eat. I. I' American children. It's Andrew. Andrew, hi. How are you feeling about your eternity? It was all right at the start, when I just had to sort of like put it on a bookshelf one day. And then the next day I like put it in the kids' room.

And now it's the 20th of December, so how are you feeling? Yeah, I mean it's it's the 20th of December on the 685th year that I've been doing this and I do have to move it every day Because as soon as it's Christmas It basically just starts again the kids are like, where's the elf? And I just got to keep moving it, you know? You just gotta stay positive, you know? Just gotta keep on truckin'. Worst part is, you would kind of hope that like, you would move the elf and then, you know,

the kids find the elf, where's the elf? And then you find it and you get to just like, clock off and read a book, you know, and go to sleep and then and do the elf the next day. But that's not what happens here in hell or at least this circle of hell. The kids find the elf and then like Bill Murray shooting himself in the mouth in Groundhog Day, the next day just starts straight away. So this is really... You're just watching a show on Netflix, maybe your Paramount Plus, and you remember, and then the kids are at it again, they want the elf.

Where's the elf? That's right. That's right. There's another man here. He's intimately whipping these ghastly American children. He's forcing them to watch children's television from the BBC. Like rotten little piggy-piggy and the b and their and like Rotten Little Piggy and The Banger and Mashman, narrated by Stephen Fry and Michael Parkinson. He's a big player down here at the Night Circle of Hell.

Ben, don't you just love Mondays when you work here? It's every Monday feels like a Friday to me. You know, it does. You're not buying that work. They're settling down for an infinity of half an hours of entertainment and none of it will make them smile or laugh. None of it's good. None of it is funny. They don't understand which are for adults. It's just a lot of Stephen Fry saying oh bother. A lot of fat shaming of parents in those shows due to how many fat British parents there are I assume. That's right. A lot of cross-dressing. Cross-dressing is like the main gag in these children's

program? It's the funniest thing they can think of. Yeah. Yeah. What if a man was a woman but not like that. Yeah. That's their test for whether they fundamentally oppose your existence as whether it's taking place at a panemime or not. Yeah. Not a nice people. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the their. thi. thi. their their their their their their th. their the of their their thronge of the is the is their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they're they're they're their they're their their their the. It's theateateateateateateateateateate. I thoooo. I can't theateateate. I theateate. I they're they're at a Pantomime or not. Yeah. Yeah. Not a nice people. Yeah. Finally, you step forward and you lock eyes with a disgusting little prick himself. It's tiny body and Terubic cheeks glowing with an undeniable evil. It's the elf himself. It's Theo. And now you're gearing up here to completely obliterate Theo with a grenade launcher, but if you do that, you're

going to disappoint your son Bonnetton and he's going to be sad. Hey, what's up, motherfuckers? I'm here forever. Don't you forget that? You let me sit still, I'll kill you. What really annoys me is, you know how Americans like doing that sort of a meme format where it's it starts with the text you've heard of elf on the shelf now it's time for and you say I have it's too well but now I have because of that yeah previously they'd say that I've not I've not heard of elf on the shelf I think it's a say up like they did those memes so then we would have heard of elf on the shelf which fucking sucks I fucking sucks, I don't know, I want to, no, fuck off.

Santa doesn't need spies in my mythology of how Santa operates. He just sort of knows. He knows. Yeah. I assume Elf on the Shelf is relatively popular in Australia because people fucking love cops and knocking in this country. So like, yeah, if you can sort of, if you can impress on your children at people fucking love cops and knocking in this country. That's true. So like, yeah, if you can sort of,

if you can impress on your children at a very young age that somebody is watching them at all times. At all times. And they will get into trouble for anything they do that is even slightly out of their lane, you know, the sooner you can get that into them. It prepares them for for for for for for them for them for joining them for joining them for joining them for joining them for joining their for joining their their their their their their their their the. It prepares them for joining their neighborhood Facebook groups later on in life. And that's Theo. And Theo, can you tell me, what's the biggest thing on Santa's naughty list this year?

You know, what's like not hot to Santa this year? Yeah, what's not hot? What's not hot? Really, environmentalism, that's right off. Oh, that's off for kids. Yeah, anti-consumerism. If you got a parent that's like, oh, I'm gonna buy, I'm not gonna buy you any toys or anything like that, um, we will kill them. I'll come around to their house and I'll hit them in the legs with hammers until they go out and they buy one of those trampolines with the full like

netting over the top with the last for exactly one season before kind of just collapsing all the PFCs sort of like evaporated etc. Because you just got to keep buying. If you stop, if you stop buying we will hurt you. Yeah you wake up an elf on the shelf will be there next to your parents' kneecaps. Yeah. They're bloody kneecaps with a hammer and you'll say, yay, Elf on the Shelf! Hey! Isn't that so funny?

Elf on the Shelf is a mischievous. He's got a hammer. Like, the picture you're painting for me is a shelf is capitalist chucky. Basically. So you've got to, you don't have to do this, Andrew. You've gotten away from Elf on the shelf this year? Why the fuck would I do that? And also, why the fuck would I do anything that added any more layers of effort?

It's just work for me. See, the thing about children is that they have no money and they have no agency, right? So if you don't want that shit in your house, if you want to avoid the whole situation, you say no. It's on you. I want to be watched over by a crittinous elf. I'm afraid not. Oh well, yeah. That's the end of the discussion. No critter in this house. thii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. that. thin. thatn. that's, thoomorrow. thi. that. that. tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. th. the. thooooooo. to. to. to. the tho. the tho. tha. I feel like maybe they've mentioned like you know another family has a has an elf or whatever.

They might have mentioned it but they have certainly never expressed an interest of it. That's the worst because other kids have it and then your kids like why don't I have one. Their parents just love them more. Well you have a elf on the shelf or you have a roof over your head. You know? You know? That's just generally speaking like I'm not I'm not saying this like I the like I the like I the like. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the elf. I the elf. I the elf. I don't. I the elf. I the elf. I the elf. I the elf. I the elf. I don't. I the elf. I the elf. I the elf. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, that's enough. Just generally speaking, like I'm not, I'm not saying this like I don't like Christmas with my kids, you know, because that's it's all, it's all very fun, but like there's there's just a lot involved with it in terms of like it's and it's extra difficult for me because my lovely wife's birthday is like right at the end of November and I've used up all of my gift ideas and then I've got to start thinking of gifts to get against. Terrible, terrible situation for me. You've already bought your wife one thing. Now you're going to

think of a second. I got it three things for a birthday you son of a b- Jesus. Jesus, fuck yourself. Fulish. to ration them out th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th three things for a birthday, you son of the bitch. Jesus Christ, you just fucked yourself. Fully, you should ration them out. But kids are very focused on Christmas, they love it. And like there's just a lot of stuff involved in preparing a nice Christmas for your family. And I don't know what the fuck anyone would be like, what if I did some optional extras? What if I did? Extra curricular Christmas. It's Instagram Mums. It ruined everything. Buy some presents, Baker Ham, put on a DVD of the Jim Kerry live action Grinch movie.

Don. Christmas Magic. Yeah. Yeah. Um, over lunchtime you don't want to spin the Peter Coombs Christmas album. Give that a little... I'm usually, I'm usually playing James Brown's funky Christmas. Hmm for the record that's a good I'm a Bing Crosby Christmas album person myself that was that was the sound of my childhood Christmas is I think there's about four hours of Suffolk and Stevens Christmas albums now yeah yeah yeah that sounds like something you would be into

yeah it's a tall Christmas album that you know, really brings Christmas up a notch though, you know. There's also like, I'm pretty sure there's, there might be more than one, more than one Boney M Christmas album. There is. Boney M love Christmas. And why wouldn't you? All I'm saying is you can branch out, you know, you can get into some other genres. You can have a bit of fun with it. I feel for those poor American souls who have to work retail and like have the Bing Crosby album on a loop like for eight hours at a time every day. At Starbucks and it starts in like as soon as Halloween's over, you got your fucking Bing Crosby Christmas all day. Yep you've been playing your

Thanksgiving carols all the way through the Thanksgiving. That's right. Then you switch over to your Christmas carols. Oh I think I do think it would do think it would come to inflict significant psychic damage on you by a point, right? It'd have to. Do you think it'd make you fucking hate Christmas eventually? I think just working in retail in general. Yeah. It kind of makes you view it unfavorably. I have like a slight panic reaction to it now

because office workers already, the worst bar patrons in the world become substantially worse as you get closer to Christmas. Christmas party. Having their Christmas parties so fucking bad Jesus Christ just learn how to be in a bar just be normal. You're 40 I was just talking to a to a friend on the phone because that's what us old timers do Fucked out what you just said? Yeah Me me and my buddy who is also named Andrew. We talk to each other on the phone for hours every week what? We do? We do? we we we we we we we we we, we, we we we we we we we we we we to do. to do. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to to to to. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. Just. to. to. Just. to. Just. to. to. Just. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th to be th to be to th th to be to be to be to be to be to be to to be to be to to be to to to to to to, we talk to each other on the phone for hours every week.

What? We do, we do. I had a phone call with my brother the other night, with my older brother, and when it was done, I hung up and it said three hours. That's the magic of dropping it up. And do those tweets, it says that's feminine behavior. What are you even talking about? There's not even three hours of figs to say. Yeah. Theo and I need to do parallel play when we're hanging out

because we run out after about 20 minutes, unless someone else is providing external stimulus. Maddie and Caitlin are very good at that though. They're providing us with little activities. Oh man, they're so good. No, me and my brother can go forever. But yeah, I was talking to my friend and he was lamenting that his work had just organized their work Christmas party, their office Christmas party and it was outside of office hours. Illegal. Yeah, it's fucked up. It's got to at least start at like two, yeah, carry on until 2.30 and then you go home two hours early.

You drunk drive home. I remember working at a place that would throw a Christmas party, but it would stop like very soon after it started and then they'd be like, get out of here. Please get out. Just, I think there had been some incidents at previous years parties where they like had a big open bar and hired a th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you'd to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, you, you, you, you, you th, you th, you'd th the, you'd thru thru thru thru thru thru thru thru thru thru thru thronge thru thru thru thru think there had been some incidents at previous years parties where they like had a big open bar and hired a whole venue they would put on lavish Christmas parties. And they did that again, they hired a venue like in the middle of Melbourne and they get everybody in there and they put them on the open bar, free food, free drinks for like two hours

and then they just turn off the music and go out into the city you go. You are someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone the th so th so th. I I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the tho tho they would they would they would they would they would they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they're they'll they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi they're thi thi thi the. I the the the the the. the the thee. theee. thee thee they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they're they're the music and go out into the city you go. You are someone else's problem legally. And I think that's a sound strategy personally. You know, show your appreciation. Give people what they want out of a Christmas party, the free booze. The free alcohol, yeah. But just ease yourself back out of the doorway before things start getting really messy. Ease out of their inner work capacity.

Yeah. That's solid. That's good thinking in my opinion. Get out of there while you still have the capacity to sit on a bus for 32 minutes. Uh, Christmas, it's the time of miracles. You know? Yeah. Yeah. We can all agree. It's the time of miracles and the world is full of miracles. There are

many miracles to be found for example in the plains I belong Bultane to the sun Nature Corner Rubber crab Stick to my dear. Now if you're a If you're an eagle-eared listener You may well be able to figure out what kind of animal this segment is going to be about.

This comes to us from press agency UPI, blind horse breaks three Guinness World Records in Oregon. Good for him. That is Christmas Miracle. We're going to find out. A 22-year-old Oregon horse with no eyes broke three Guinness World Records. Highest free jump by a blind horse horse. Oh, come on. That doesn't count if one of them is like a blind record, blind horse record. They're all blind horse records. Well then it's not that impressive.

Well then it's not that impressive. I mean, it's still particularly good for a blind horse. It's the cream of the crop. How many times has someone tried to beat these, how many blind horses have tried to beat these records? Yeah, it's an existing category or these, one of those ones where you get the consultant out to do it? Oh, it's like that guy that that breaks that breaks that breaks that breaks that breaks that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that like that guy that breaks one every week where he's like most bowling pins juggled on a skateboard by a man listening to infected mushroom. I wonder how many like equestrian trainers there are out there. You know how like with guide dogs they get to a point where they go you're not cut out for this sun and they take the harness off them. I'm in like a ceremony of shaming? Yeah everybody points down at the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I the. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to the. to to to to to take the harness off them. I mean like a ceremony of shaming.

Yeah, everybody points down at the dog and goes bad dog, bad dog. You were too friendly, you can't be a guard dog now. You like smells too much. You don't have enough self-control, dog. But yeah, I'm wondering how many equestrian people like are training a horse for like Olympic competition and they're just, they're not quite elite tier and they go, all right, time to blind this horse. See if we can make any records. Do you even get anything for breaking a Guinness World Record?

You get in the book. You get in the book. You get in the book. You get in the website. Oh, they've got to be making that book. There is a book. I have to buy a nephew's presents. I think that's a boy's Christmas present. Right?

Yeah, it's like as a Christmas present. I will dispute that because we have got Evelyn the Guinness. Evelynne the Guin of the boys ain't. Just one of the boys. Not she's not like other girls. Better. So three world records, the highest free jump by a blind horse, most flying changes by a horse in one minute. And fastest time for a blind horse to weave five poles. Okay, so that one's impressive. That middle one is a pan horse, all horse. That's all horses. All horse category. Morgan Wagner of Corvallis said she was allowed to choose her horse, Endo from her grandmother's

heard. She was only 13 years old. You heard me right. Named it after grandma's herd. Sorry! But she was only 13 years old. You heard me right. Named it after Grandma's favorite thing. My two horses, Endo and PCOS. You can't make that joke. You can't make that joke, only I could have made that joke. I'm sorry, would you like to make that joke? Two horses, Endo and Peekos. Funny when you say it.

Wagner said Endo started having eye problems when he was eight years old and he was diagnosed with equine recurrent... Uvitis? I'm sorry, but this horse already knows how to jump. He's seen it. Oh, come on. What, he's seen air before and he knows how to go up into it? Yes. Are you saying, Theo, you think there should be two categories for blind-hors records,

born blind and... Congenadal or... Oh, those who were born into the darkness. Do you reckon calling Indemetriosis endo is an Australianism? I don't know. It seems like it would be, huh? It feels very natural to be like, ah, me, endo. It's playing up.

I can't imagine an American saying. I can't. Yeah. Oh, right, me, endo. She said it took time for the horse, known as Endo the Blind to regain his confidence. Don't have to say it to him every day. He knows. That's not a name like Pliny the Elder.

He's visibly got no eyes. You'll know from looking. Like he's got no eyes. It's just like skin, like two little hollowed out bits covered in skin and fur. Were you losing a lot of time saying this is my horse endo he's blind? He's blind by the same number of words. Endo he's blind and endo the blind. My blind horse endo. You have to put it, I don't know if that's like changes, certificate or anything. You know quite, he was very scared in the beginning. Yeah. So I took him for walks around the barn the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th of of th.. to to to to to to to to th. around to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. thor thor thor's thor's th. th. th. thor, thor, thor, thor, thor, thor, thor, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to te to, te to, to, to, to, te to, took him for walks around the barn and then moved on to walks around the property.

Morgan told Guinness World Records, everything in small steps. The now 22-year-old horse showed he still has skills by taking on the trio of records. That's too old. That's older than both my kids put together. You know? Quote, each record was something Endo already knew. We just had to practice and fine-tune it, Wagner said. He learned to jump again after going blind because he competed in a discipline that required

upper-level riding and obstacle work, and in that discipline he became national champion at the highest level so they did blind an elite horse. Yeah he'd already, he'd done everything he could he'd reach the heights. He reached his skill cap. Yeah. Yeah. And when, when, what's his name, saw that there was no more worlds to conquer and blinded him. That would have been a really good smart person reference if you remember who Alexander the Great was. When Alexander saw, when Alexander saw that there was no more stuff to do or whatever. He fully cried. And it turns out that there's not enough of something or too much I forget. And it's and it turns out that there's not enough of something or too much, I forget.

Endo jumped three feet and 5.73 inches, clear over Theo's head, into the air to break the record for highest free jump by a blind horse. He then completed 39 flying changes in 60 seconds to break the record for most flying changes by a horse in one minute. Anyone, uh, what has a guess as to what a flying change is? I googled flying change in the record for most flying changes by a horse in one minute. Anyone or has a guess as to what a flying changes? I googled flying change horse and it just keeps showing me pictures of horses doing like normal horse stuff. Changes the lead while remaining in canter. Oh okay. Yeah. Yeah. Fly change means. I don't know what that means This one says it means an arrangement to have the passengers travel on another flight Get the original airline or

Yeah, that's probably what it is. Yeah, people calling this horse in their flights to divert it Just pointing to gates. I hate it when they replace my flight with a horse. It makes me so mad. The horse turns up, ah fuck my flight's changed again. I sent the horse out. The horse also broke the record for fastest time for a blind horse to weave five poles, completing the feet in 6.93 seconds. Damn. That's pretty good.

That's pretty good. I'm impressed by this horse. I'd be betting on this horse. If I say Endo the blind on sports bet, he's paying a hundred to one, you know what? Putting five dollars down. Quote, it feels amazing that Endo has three world records, Wagner said. He doesn't know, though, you know? No. He doesn't know what that is. He doesn't know anything. He's a horse. He's a dumb creature. Just vibes in his head. Oh, do you think Endo remembers when he had to do some work and then he got two apples

that day? Horse people act like horses are like dolphins, like they're the smartest, most beautiful creature on earth and then they like, ahhhhh! And they die, my heart attack. If my mom heard you saying this, my god. She's the wrath of a country woman coming down on you. She's a big-time horse lady right? She's she is yeah, but she's a country horse lady not like this is fancy horse stuff she does. This is just the country horse stuff yeah. She doesn't wear the silly pants. Okay. Yeah. Wagner said, I'm very grateful to Guinness World Records for letting us have a platform for blind horses

To show the world that they're still capable of anything I dispute I dispute that whole assertion Platform for bright horses that was that amnesia game I believe. It's a good um if you know the horror video game series amnesia at the names of that joke makes sense? I play? I play? It's a good? I'm? I play? I play? I play? I, the. It, the. It, the. It, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the world. the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, th, the world, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the world. th, th, th. th. that, that, that, that, that, the that, their the the the their their the the world. their the world, the, Amnesia, and the names of that joke makes sense. I played a bit of it, but I've forgot most of it. I can't remember. Can't remember. I can't remember. It's the subtitle of Platform for Blind Horses.

Well, I know we all hate it when we're traveling and our flight or our greyhound bus is substituted with an old blind horse. But there are other ways to travel. Perhaps you might travel by sea. If you do, be careful, you do not have an encounter with a shipping vessel because it turns out they're getting in all kinds of stuff out there. Time for the shipping report. I'm itching for another edition of the ship and the board. That's right, this is the no-jokes, no-deaths summary of the maritime incidents of the previous 14 days.

Joke for it. No jokes. The general cargo ships, Burhan Disman and Turan Sea, collided at Ahikarpy anchorage in the sea of Mamara. Bunk. Someone's losing a few demerit points. It's not a joke. Any particular diet at the moment either? No.

One of the lifeboats on the cruise ship quantum of the seas fell into the sea while she was anchored off Vanuatu. Yeah. Well, it's only going to be one or many life boats.. It won't be like, won't be like half of one or something. Yeah, that's true. Quantum of the Seas. Yeah. Yeah. I actually thought it was a pretty lackluster follow up to Casino Royale. The General Cargo Ship ever win developed a 30 degree starboard list in rough weather,

some 40 nautical miles east of Yangtzee estuary. Estuary. Hmm. Does that mean it's just like tipping over too far to one side? Yes, that's right. It's ti-but the little bit. It didn't cap-sized.

That doesn't sound like a problem to me. I'm no shipping guy. It's probably bad for it. But, it, it, it, it, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, the, th, the, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi's, is thi's, is just, is just, is thiii.a. It's thi-s. It's thi's thi, is just just just, is hard to move around on the boat. It's probably bad for it. But I assume that by the time we're reading this report, the rough weather has ended. And perhaps the boat has been touched. Sounds like a non-event. I mean, it's being a bit dramatic.

That's all I'm saying. It's probably taken on the list because have been leveling out like they're supposed to. Hard to say. The general cargo ship Yu-Seng 788 sank in the Taiwan Strait. Cool name. Shame about the boat. The coaster cargo ship Long Shun suffered engine failure in the Taiwan Strait and developed a starboard list and aft tilt. A little bit extra pizzazz on that one. Trying to figure out how to appropriately rotate the boat in my mind to reflect what's just been described to me. Yeah.

Starboard, which side is to the right, yeah and then it's tilted towards the back to the back as well. So the back right-hand corner is the lowest point and the front left-hand corner is the highest point. Right, so if I'm standing in the middle looking forward, I'm kind of looking up and to the left at this point. You might be falling over if you're on the long shun. The vehicle carrier, Sarasi 1, collided with general cargo ship Batangar, Bat, Bat, Bat, Bat, B. the back, B. the back, the back, to. the back, to. to the back, the back, to to the back, t, the back, t, t, t, t, the back,un. The vehicle carrier Sarasi I collided with general cargo ship Batangari Mars in the Banker Strait. Saraci 1 developed a substantial hull breach and subsequently sank. I feel like we're getting more more sinkings than we usually see in the shipping report. Is that reasonable to say? It seems like there is a lot of bad weather over the last fortnight.

Or it's that there were a lot of sinkings where no one died through happy coincidence. Yeah, I feel like we see more kind of more commonly we see either ships running into each other or something or having to be like toed back you know rather than oh up that one's just trying to go on now. Yeah, well, they seem to get refloated relatively often from the stories that I read, which seems nuts to me. That seems like it's a lot of work. You've got to go through and sweep all the crabs out. You've got to decrab your ship. There's got to be a the the the the the the the the the crab the crab thapapapapapap tha. tha. tha. tha. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I to be to to to to thath. thoomobobob. thi. thi. thoomb thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. to to to thi. thi. thi. their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. They thi. They's thi. They's thi. I thi. I thi. the. They's the. the. the. the. the. thea. I thea. I thea. They're thea. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the. they're to look if you refloat a boat and and drain all the water out

surely there's some fish flopping around on the deck. Oh absolutely. Yeah. They must pay. There'll be a squid in your medicine cabinet. Free squid. The heavy lift ship Mary contacted the haltinau bridge while transiting Kiel Canal, causing substantial damage to the bridge and closing it to traffic. How heavy is she? How heavy are we talking? Could she lift me? Probably easily, yeah. The general cargo ship Poseidon.

Not a good sign. Run into a highway embankment at Yana City in Yamaguchi Prefecture, Japan. Now I don't know if you guys are familiar with this, but highways, typically ty domain of the car. Yeah. Yeah, that's where the car lives. Yeah, bus, truck, wheeled vehicles of that nature. Yeah. Maybe a boat on a trailer sometimes. Yes, but generally, generally it's a dry domain. Yeah. And um, I would have thought the name Poseidon would have been taken by that tho. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It's. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the have thought the name Poseidon would have been taken by that point, but do you think it's just because everyone thought it was too obvious? Call their boat Poseidon and they're like, bad luck. They haven't checked. To name it after a famous sinking boat. You could call your ship Titanic like as a little joke, like a little irony joke. Yeah. Poseidem was God of the sea. That is true. Yes. It's a the the the the the the their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their boat. their boat. their boat. their boat. their boat. their boat. their boat. their their their their boat. their boat. their boat. their boat. their boat. their boat. their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their boat. their boat. their boat. their boat. their boat. their their their their their boat. their boat. their their their boat. their boat. P. P. their boat. their boat. their their boat. their boat. their boat. their God of the sea. That is true, yes. Which is under it, like in the sea. Also you can have, there are lots of boats with the same name. It's not like showbiz. Horse right. Yeah, it's not like SAG after where if your name is George Cludy, you have to call yourself by your middle name or whatever.

Oh, I'm George C. Poseidon. Yeah Yeah. The container ship Cartagena Express suffered engine failure while in the English channel. I believe that's Cartagena. Yeah, I wouldn't say that. No, it's got a G in it though. Yeah. Carter. Well, I'm mainly I'm mainly going off of the movie Romancing the Stone. Oh, I'm going off the part in Sikario, where she asks where he's from. And he says, Katahena. But then I thought I can't overpronounce it like that.

I'll sound like an asshole. I guess we're not all scared of that. Fire broke out on the oceanic reef-trawer Sunfish while in the Ocottsk Sea off the western coast of the Kamchatka Peninsula. Cool name, I like it. The General Cargo Ship, MSM Dolores, which I believe stands to mainstream media. Suffered engine failure related to a cooling system issue while en route from Casablanca to Antwerp and was subsequently towed to breast.

Oh, I should be so lucky. Sorry listeners. I'm so. Our comedy chops are too well-honed. We can't stop riffing. South Korean product taker B Ocean was hijacked by pirates for the second time this year while traveling 240 nautical miles off the ivory coast. Oh come on, come on.

Leave him alone, leave Billy Ocean one. Highjack me once. Shame on you. That's true, it is their fault. Yeah. And, tha, thi, tha. And, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, tho-a' tho-a' tho-a, thi, tho-auo-auo-auo-au their their their their the the the the the th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho-a, tho-a, thi! thi! thi! tha' tha' tha'a'a'a'a'a'a'era'era'era'-s. tho'er-s'er-s'er-s'er-s'era'er-s'era'er-a'era'era'er-s. tho'er. tho' That's true it is their fault. The second time. Yeah. And finally, a 47 year old crew member lost his right hand in a quote job accident aboard the container ship Lady of Luck. Hmm. Hmm. What kind of job? What kind of luck are we's suggesting that it might have been a... Yeah. What kind of luck are we talking?

It doesn't seem that lucky either. Yeah. Nah, oh well. You think they let you keep the hand? They got it, I mean, that's yours. Who they? The guy on board the ship that stitched you up. The guy with the most recent medical training Hey, can I have that hand back? What hand?

No. So, um, so Elna, last night, Eleanor says, a beautiful wife of the show, my wife, Elinor, says that she wants to try watching an episode of the new Netflix TV show, Wednesday, a series about Wednesday Adams. Uh, she started watching it. of the new Netflix TV show Wednesday, a series about Wednesday Adams. She started watching it and it became immediately apparent that it was a like, Riverdale School for Delinquent Twilight's kind of, kind of vibe.

I mean, what else could it be? It looks that way. Look, could have been the next madman. And now I have to know about Jenna Ortega? Like, this is something that I, that apparently I have to be aware of now. You don't. No one's asking you to. You're a guy in these 30s. No one expects you to know anything about anything. Literally no one is asking you right now. And no one to ask you it any other time. You. You. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the theeeee. the. the. time. You can be one of those guys that's like, who's Taylor Swift? I don't know who that is. Taylor Smith?

I'm familiar. It'll be a problem if you turn out to know too much about Jenna Ortego. Yeah, I've seen a bit of that pop it up as well on line. So we're watching this. And Eller and I start to have a debate thia thia thia thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thi to have start to have a debate about whether or not Thing is warm. Oh yeah. Whether he would be warm to the touch or whether he would feel cold like a corpse, right?

I mean he's moving. Now, for full context, for full context, the conversation came about because I had asked, I said, you'd leave any teenage girl alone with Thing for long enough. And maybe. What that thing do? Maybe, something's going to happen. Because what I was pondering was, if you were to have an encounter, a sexual, encounter, a sexual encounter with Thing from the other family, do you think

that encounter would be more like using a sex toy or having an encounter with like a consensual partner? I think Thing has agency. Is this like the stranger for women? Yeah, because women can't sit on their hands. In fairness, we don't know, we don't know what they can, it's none of my business. We don't know what Thing is into and he might be perfectly happy to give you a squeezer or massage your prostate. I don't think he's evil he's helpful if anything. Yeah but he's got good fine. Well no that Anandra family aren't

evil if anything they're kind of like libertarians. They're benevolent liberatians. They're benevolent. They're Levians say this. They aren't evil. It's just, they're benevolent libertarians. They're benevolent. They aren't evil. They aren't evil, it's just that they're living on in opposite. It's opposite day for them all the time. Where they're like, you know what, would be cool if something bad happened. They, they welcome the outsider, but if you wrong them, they will destroy you. They also find lethal violence very funny, but in a sort of slapstick way. Yeah, I mean it's hard to argue. Scorpio energy on all of them.

Yeah, I agree. So, so, so Elmer's concern about a sexual encounter with Thing was that he would be cold, right? And I was like, I don't picture thing as cold. No, I disagree. By putting a bit the markaway for a bit. Well, that might really hurt him. You don't know. Do not put your thing in the microwave to warm up.

You have a thing at home. You cannot clean him in the washing machine. You cannot dry him in the dryer. He's a hand washer. Hand wash only. Oh my God. Alright so we're endothermic. Yeah that we generate our own body heat. And we generate that heat from Theo?

I think it's burning calories. I think we know. Like blood moving, the energy. Yeah, what by your energy? Chee? Capilla. I think it's mainly c-chee, yeah. moving the energy. Yeah but what by the blood hot? Chee? Capilla. I think it's mainly cee, yeah. If thing possesses a life force, which I think he does. I mean I can't think of any instance where he exhibits exothermic behavior such as lying in the sun to warm his place.

But by the same token you don't you know you're not seeing thing eat anything you know so like my my kind of vibe about thing is I think that thing is alive coded I think that thing is alive coded I I think that the thing has say it like that I think the thing has say it like that. I think the thing has the I don't have to say it like that. I think the thing has the vibes of someone who's alive. You know, he's kind of, he's kind of Johnny, he's kind of sassy. He's helpful. He's busy. High energy though. I think the high energy is a good sign because...

Cold-blooded creatures... It's kind on. They're not doing much. Yeah, he's uh, I don't know, I just think, I think he has a lot of personality whereas if you were looking at him as being like reanimated in the way that a zombie is reanimated, a reanimated zombie is reanimated, a reanimated zombie is cold and slow and shambol-athinking and these are not factors that I associate with thing yeah so warm-blooded we got that out of the way does he fuck I think he fucks I think I think thing would fuck if you gave him a chance you know I don't like he has any pleasure receptors on himself but you don't have to. You could be a... You can enjoy...

He's just a little servant. Yeah, it's just a nasty little freak. He doesn't get to come. He's just a nasty little freak. Running him under the tap afterwards, you know? Just in case someone's going to write in to correct me for saying exothermic when I meant ectothermic, if you've already sent that message off, I'm going to hunt you down and kill you. Hello. It's me. Ben, from this podcast. Marian Webster defines a podcast as a program made available in digital format for automatic download over the internet, and that simply could not be more true.

If you like what we do and want more of this podcast made available to you in digital format for automatic download over the internet, simply go to Patreon.com slash Bonavista and hit the enormous red button that says subscribe. For five US dollars a month you get access to our weekly bonus episodes, our entire archive bonus episodes, our exclusive discords, our exclusive discoids and free episode that doesn't have these ads in them. That sweet, sweet subscriber cash allows me to do this show full-time without having to get a real job, and to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their and fr, and fr, and fr, and fr, and their, and their, and their, and their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and their, and, their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thii.a, thi.a, thi.a.a. So, thi. So, thii.a. So, thi.a, having to get a real job, and frankly, that whips to me. The other guys also get some money or whatever, but I don't really care. Anyway, check that out if it sounds good to you. Love you. Yeah, that thing, that little thing, he was a busy guy, you know. It's very hard to determine, it's very hard to determine whether or not thing was compensated in any way.

I get the sense that he was more of like a family servant, kind of like Lurch. I don't think that Lurks is pulling down a paycheck. I think he makes purchases though. Yeah, but where would he keep his money? He wears pants. No, thing. Oh, I don't. I assume that Lurch is using, he's using

Gomez's black card with, and the family's money to make purchases for them. I think he's buying one on the way out the door. Oh, he's like a purchasing agent. What's he getting? He's getting the grocery, he's getting the groceries, but it's like, it, it's like a fish that's already gone bad, a blood orange, you know? Yeah. Real Adams family shit like that. Like squidding pasta. Yeah, fuck that. Disgusting. Yeah. The evil dish there is. It's just black. It's got food. It's got food. That's all. That's all. Yeah. Fogra. thing. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the ga. It's the ga. It's the gist. It's the gist. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the gi. It's the gi. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's is. It's just black, it's goth food, it's got food. That's all I'm sorry.

Fuegra, things of that nature. Yep, yep. Um, feel. Yeah. And so I don't know what kind of industrial bargaining takes place in the Adam's family household. However, there's something going on in this other segment that I don't know about and don't know what the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story story story story the story story story story story story story story story the story story story story story story story story story story story the story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story is the story story story story story is the story is the story story is the story story story story is the story is the story is the story is stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories the story the story the story story the story story story the story story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story. 't know what the story is about. It's time for Industry Watch. Industry Watch.

Industry Watch is of course the segment where we keep up with the latest news in industries, in various industries. The world of big business. That's right. Yeah, pretty close actually. This is, uh, when I to read to you, comes from the little Q&A section in the October 22 issue of the Trade Magazine render, which is the official magazine of the North American Renderers

Association. Ben, can I just ask just to make sure... Can we get a disambiguation here? Yes. Because when we had... We got like Pixar or pigs? When we had Jara Hennessey on the show recently, and we were talking about rampant grease theft. The people who were upset about the grease theft were of course the NRA,

the National Renders Association. Yes. Yeah, which I think is the National Renders Association. Yes, yeah, which I think is the Canadian body. Although you think the North American Renderers Association would fall under that, but this is NARA, not the NRA. But I'm just, am I in the right ballpark in terms of... Yes, thank you. So if you were big on the grease theft segments recently, this is for you. Yeah. So we're talking people that they make all the the the tho tho th all th all th all th all th all they make all they make all they make all they make all they make all the th all they make all the the they make all their tho they make all their their their they make on the grease theft segments recently. This is for you. Yeah. So we're talking people that they make all sorts of products. They do, you know, recycling. They make pet food.

They, yeah, they produce all sorts of oils. Render magazine asks, what is the most cutting edge technology currently being employed by the rendering industry? Here is an answer from Richard Weeks, Dick Weeks, executive manager with DUP's company. Good name. And he says, real-time near-infrared analysis of rendered products has significantly raised the bar on how to control the quality of end-of-products. NIR has been utilized as an industry standard for many years, however, time lags associated with samples and inconsistencies with sample procedures

have historically been very challenging. Yeah. Having the ability to achieve consistent sample procedures and real-time data has created a tremendous opportunity to optimize processes and profits. So that's good. It's a little ominous to me. I don't like to think about getting a product from a renderer where the quality has been poorly controlled.

Yeah, well not anymore, because they have real-time-infired analysis. You know how you used to get your rendering all fucked up? Yeah, so I have to check it with a dipstick, and now a guy just sort of scans it with a scanner of some kind. This answer is from Henning Halgard and Anders Sferhag, who are respectively the chief commercial officer and the innovation and engineering director at Harslev. I like that this is a global concern. I don't know how many large rendering companies there are in the world for them to talk to. This is the way they communicate. This is the way they communicate. Energy reduction and energy recovery technologies that result in reduced carbon footprints and reductions in operating cost because of lower

utilities bills will be important. Advanced odor abatement systems that make processing plants more acceptable to nearby communities and also we covered that in on our earlier episodes. Well I think we've covered them being unacceptable to communities. Yeah yeah yeah the problem that it can can that it can that it can that it can that it can that it can that it can that it can that it can that it can that it can that it can th th that it can th th th th th th th th th thi the the the the the the the the the the the the energy the energy energy the the energy energy energy energy energy energy energy energy energy energy energy energy energy the the the energy energy energy energy energy energy energy energy energy the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea the the the the covered that in on our earlier episodes. I think we've covered them being unacceptable to communities. Yeah, yeah, the problem that it can occur, so... Yeah. Keeping you up to date on the progress though. These can make the more acceptable to nearby communities and also make the rendering company a better neighbor. This can transform the overall perceptions and sometimes the stigma associated with rendering operations. Yeah the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the nenenea. the nea. nea. nea. nea. nea. nea. nea. nea. nea. nea. nea. nea. nea. nea. nea. nea. thea. that's that can cana. that cana. that cana. that cana. that cana. that cana. that cana. that cana. theeeea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ia. Yeah.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.eauu.eau.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.e. It. It's. It's t stigma associated with rendering operations.

This answer is from Hans Nissen, President and Brian Schubert, the area sales manager at Ustergard. We see a focus on high-end product quality combined with the lowest possible energy consumption. Cutting-edge technologies are processes with enzymatic treatment of raw materials to achieve a specific food or feed ingredient. Good distinction there. For example, utilizing a slurry evaporator process with low energy consumption for high capacity plants. Yep. Yep. Also, feather processes with high digestibility in the feather meal. Feather meal. There's a whole other world going on, right? About turning animals into new...

Into slop? Yeah, into slopp. So is rendering just making it into like a slurry? Yes, it's taking animal carcasses and off cuts and turning them into other things. Like hot dogs and hot dogs. H hot dogs, pet food and gym mats. Chicken nuggets. Yeah. H&M clothing. In addition, converting conventional high temperature cooking with mechanical dewatering and evaporation helps to save energy. With high energy prices and consumer expectations for end products, waste heat utilization is key to reduce

fuel consumption. For example, slurry evaporators with waste heat recovery, or alternatively, wet rendering. Let me try that again. Wet rendering. Yeah. That just sounds peachy. It's not a nice turn of phrase. Wet rendering. Wet rendering. The use of state-of-the-art metal detection on both raw materials and finished products is also cutting edge. Think about that one. It's your metal detection in your hot dog meat that's coming out. Get any jagged shards or shotgun pellets out of there. I mean that might genuinely be a part of it. Yeah. Buck shot. Get any jagged shards? Get any jagged shards or shotgun pellets out of there. I mean that might genuinely be a part of it. Yeah.

Buckshot. Well, I mean like... I suppose animals love to eat. Yeah. To meaddead, to me. Yeah, I was going to say there's a lot of, a lot of animals out there, like pigs and goats and stuff just chewing up all kinds of shit, right? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. than. tha. thi. that. thi. than tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. I tha. I tha. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. to. to. to. to. to. to. ta. to. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea yeah, absolutely. So when they're born, they feed them a magnet. And so it just sits there in the stomach,

and then like all the barbed wire and shit that they eat, gets collected by the magnet in their stomach. You, yeah, I can't tell from looking at your face right now. Okay. Are you fucking with?? I don't know, am I? I don't know? Are who? I'm not sure. This could be anything. This could be one of those things where Theo's about to find out. He got told a lie when he was 10 years old. I don't know. You probably just use a magnet in the plant, right? Like a big magnet. Here's a... Well, because everything's liquid by now, you want to just suck all the metal bits out. Uh, have you found it heads to this? You've stopped looking at your screen.

Here's an article from Apex Magnets. So be in mind that this does come to you from the very pocket of big magnet. So they'd want you to believe that it's useful. Yeah, this is on their blog, Weird Magnet Facts, Cow Magnets. Here's a Weird Magnet Fact for your week. You need one every week without fail. Somewhere, there's a magnet in the stomach of a cow. Magnets are commonly used by farmers and ranches to prevent hardware disease. Also called bovine traumatic reticuloporetonitis.

I like hardware disease. Yeah, I see what they call that. Oh, fuck, I've got hardware disease. Because cows... Who have software disease. Because this is a terrifying concept to Bandy about in your mind for a moment. Because cows do not discern objects with their mouth. Oh, they just swall on whatever you put in there. Could be anything in that. I didn't know that. Because cows do not discern objects with their mouth when eating and often swallow food

whole, they are prone to eat dangerous metal objects like nails or wire. Theo vindicated. Holy fuck. Never in doubt. If one of, Ben, put a bunch of revobe on that Theo vindicated. We see like down rounds bits now. Good bit. If one of these sharp objects were to pass through the reticulum, it can puncture vital organs, causing pain and even death, depending on where and how far the object travels.

Because the stomach is so close to the heart in cattle, the most serious cases of hardware disease are the result of an object piercing the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart serious cases of hardware disease are the result of an object piercing the heart and causing failure. Fuck that, wouldn't you be really mad if you ate your lunch and then like a nail pierced your heart? That'd really be annoying. I'd really wreck your day. To prevent cows from developing hardware disease as a result of the ingestion of in edible objects,

sometimes farmers will place a single cow magnet in the stomach of a cow. This magnet then attracts any metal objects and prevents them from traveling further through the body. However, this isn't the only method of prevention. Beef Magazine says... This is... It's picking up a copy of beef bag. The doctor's office. There's got to be like two guys coming in to, to, to, to, to, to a, to a, to a, to a, to a, to a, to a, to a, to a, to a, to a, to a, to a, to a, to a, to a, to a, to a, to a the, the the's got to be like two guys coming in to pick up their subscription from the

news agent and both getting equally outraged when they're shown. Beef Magazine says the most important step, quote, is to keep wire and other metal objects out of feed. And quote, who would have thought and other metal objects out of feed. End quote. Who would have thought? Yeah. That's like less baroque than the magnet thing.

Yeah, don't, don't feed them buckets full of nails, you know? Yeah, but the magnet, pretty cheap. He's, just covering a bit of, big magnet covering a bit of ass at the end of this article. Although there may be a magnet in a cow, magnets should never be ingested by humans. It's fine for eating metal. Yeah. Doing so can result in choking, harm to organs, and even death,

which is especially the case if two or more magnets are ingested at once. Yeah, that is actually a serious concern that they tell you whenever you handle like powerful magnets. Well don't accidentally eat two of these and allow them to pitch your guts when they go in. For children, oh, all right. For children, largely, like do not leave them. And you know, if you're gonna... Okay, you don't want them to have any magnets, but if you can help it no more than one. Yeah. Never give your child a second magnet. A second magnet that's just going to clip on the first one. Don't think you can draw out the other magnet with the second magnet. Yeah. You end up with a sort of cane beetle, cane toad problem. Because magnets will attract and pull towards each other, the presence of two or more can pinch organs and break bones.

Even when it comes to cows or any other animal, a veterinary professional should be consulted before doing anything with a magnet. So you've got to remember when the magnet's gone in, right? Oh my god, you just like get lost in your thought. Just for a little bit. Okay, I, oh, did I give that one a magnet? Fuck, never give your cow a second magnet. That's the puttavista tip of the week. Never give you a cow a second magnet.

They're hefty magnets too. They're like, um, like a hefty animal. Yeah, they're like a, um, like a big cylinder, like a, I don't think we should be giving cows magnets. This feels not nice. You want them to have hardware disease, is what you say. You hate cows? Yeah.

This is, how has this never come up? I've been alive for I think about 32 years and no one around me has ever been like, oh cow magnets until today when it happened, I guess. You should have asked me. Hey Theo, cow magnets? The cow magnets is it? It's funny that you ask. They do. Have a look at that picture in the chat to see the size of a car magnet. Oh, yeah. That's a used cow magnet. Yeah, so there's it it's it's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their th. It's thirty. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thirty. It's th. It's th. It's th size of a cow magnet. Oh yeah, that's a used cow magnet. Yeah, so there's a before and after one is a cylinder of about the size of the size. Oh, all right, that makes sense. I was gonna say how they're shooting out a piece. That's about the handle on a hairbrush. Yeah. Yeah. Well the handle of any hand tool which is generally the size ideal to be gripped by a human hand. And then the second one is absolutely covered in wire.

Yeah, and if your podcast player supports individual images for episodes, you can look at it right. You'll see this. Holy fuck that's unpleasant. This is... It's rocked your world, hasn't it? So much today. I like that I have gone with the renderers magazine and you have one-upped me with beef magazine.

Beef magazine. Ha ha haze. The industry is also moving towards the use of metal detection, along with utilizing magnets throughout the process. Metal detection is a much more thorough process to identify and remove all of the various types of metals used in the processing plants and not only for removing ferrous metals. So... Oh, yeah. Right. So we're basically idiots for proposing the magnet idea because we hadn't considered non-ferrous metals. Yeah, what if you... What if some tin got in there? Aluminium?

Yeah, I think Aluminium. Sure. Yeah. There's only a couple of Ferris metals, everything else. Lithium. What if the... What if your cow had been eating? What? You could need a wood magnet then. So it's only, it's only, um, things with, things with iron in them. Yeah, that explains the name. I know, yeah, sorry, yeah.

So really, we're just discussing adding another stage to the process of removing, like using magnets to remove the metal from the cows feed in the first place. Yeah, and then also metal detectors as well for the non-ferrous stuff. Just in case for the next stage of the process once we have blitz the cow up into bones and stuff that can go into a Costco hot dog. Then we also run some powerful magnets over that. Just before it goes into the... How much metal is getting into this rendering? I bet it's so much. Oh, it's strain it. It's people just dropping nuts and bolts in there. Yeah. Yeah. Guy

looze his iPhone 8 there. You gotta make sure that it's... Getting all the construction workers that got fired from Boeing? It's a little plane manufacturing there. Good one. Got another answer here from J.R. Onkin of Onkin, Inc. So you know he knows what he's talking about. As manufacturers for the rendering industry, supplying leak-proof storage for cooking oil is key. So we use robotic welding and laser cutting to ensure our product is consistent and leak-proof.

You don't want to lose your cooking oil. No. Yeah. And then finally I have another thought here from JR Onkin, Inc. When he was asked what types of next-level technology he foresees being adopted in the near future? He says, our engineering team is currently in development of a robotic solution for transporting cooking oil from the restaurant to the outdoor cooking oil storage container. Like out back. Yeah, colliding of worlds. From, from the kitchen to the storage at the back.

Yeah. It's a little robot. You need a robot to do that. Are you done with that frying pan? Oh, oh, oh, thank you. Thank you. I'm a little piggy. Yeah, pour that milk, put that oil in my mouth.

I'm so thirsty. I'm going gotta go about the back real quick. Mmm! Ooh, another oily treat for Robo. And then he stands out there with a gun to make sure that no one takes anything. My oil. Oh, a big chain gun with laser sight on it. Ready to run. So you're going to have to show ID in five seconds where I'm going to fucking air hole you.

Folks, you do not want to encounter the lethal outdoor cooking repository robot defense, you know? If you run into that, you're going to have a bad time and you're going to end up in the next coffin on coffin watch. And this is a segment distinct from the ripping report. Yes. Yes. Yeah. It's a segment distinct from the ripping report.

Yes. Yes. Yeah. It's a mishap to do with the preparation of bodies after they have died. Yeah. Obviously. The ripping report is about people who have gone through the process of dying. Yes.

Yeah. And in the clipping report, it's people who might have died from it, but oh no, there are deaths in the clipping report. No, no, th this this this this this this this this this this this this this this thiii report. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th. this this this this this th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the clipping report, it's people who might have died from it, but, oh no, there are deaths in the clipping. No, no deaths in the clipping report. And we'll get this all figured out, probably before episodes. We'll get a complete taxonomy going, so you can refer to it. Yeah. Oh, I was absolutely scanning the themes and debating which one it was going to be. So this comes to us from News 12bX in New York. I don't know what to do with that name.

The Twiblix. Yeah, it's a little harder. I actually spent quite a lot of time trying to find out if they had like a TV station code or station idea, whatever they call them. They don't have one. Or at least they didn't write down one they were anywhere that I could find. Very annoying. Not as annoying as this.

A Spring Valley family is suing a cemetery and a funeral home after they found out their loved one was buried in the wrong place and then dug up and re-buried without their permission. Yikes. Don't. Don't do that. I mean, I get the impulse to be like, oh, you want people to fix their mistakes?

Well, that's the thing. Like, if you realize you've fucked up really quite badly, I think we can acknowledge from the front half of that description. I understand the impulse to say I'm going to immediately run out and get on the earth mover. Yeah, I just fix in their mistake. It's not their fault. So I was sorted out. Yeah. The Booth family lost their father back in February.

He was supposed to be buried on top of their mother's grave. Did you check in the wrong hole? Because that's where he is. It was supposed to be buried on top of their mother's grave in a double plot they purchased at brick church cemetery in Spring Valley back when she passed away in 2005. Hang on on top? Yeah that seems unorthodox to me, but I'm not a... Face down. What was the sound?

Face down, head to to, no head to toe. Put me right in there. Smushes together. I'm naked, I'm naked when I go in too. Oh, that's a pretty... I'm going to have to have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to talk to Elner about that kind of arrangement. So here's the deal. Whichever one of us goes first gets buried naked.

And then when the other one goes we crack it open face down. Oh my goodness. Yeah, on top, Theo. Maybe space isn't a premium in there. You probably spend an extra money. You must get a discount if you just got one, like one grave space. Are they stacking? They're coffin stacking.

Do you reckon maybe... It's not six feet under, it's 10 feet, six feet or two feet, just depending on how much you pay? It's sandwiched in there between a few corpses. Yeah, it'd hate to be the meat in the coffin sandwich. I'd hate to be in the middle of so many other coffins. Um, um, I'd hate to be the meat in the coffin sandwich. My goodness.

It's really tricky for a poly set up because then they have to start drilling into bedrock. I wonder, I think there's a few possibilities here. Polketic tough down there. So do you think that this is maybe a pricing consideration where it's like you can get a grave plot and it costs this much? You can get a double plot where we will do a 12-foot deep hole and then when you're done we'll put the other one in. There's no harm on just stacking one on top you're saving space. And if you want to pay the premium you get like twin twin burial plots you know. Yeah it's sort of a bunk beds versus two doubles

situation. Bunk beds versus a queen, you know? Yeah. And if you're really stuck for cash, we'll just kind of just uncover the first coffin, pry the lid off, and try and jam you both in there. Slip you in. This is a, I mean, I don't know why people pay so much money for this stuff when like, I feel like it's been firmly established at this point that if something happens with the cemetery and they need to like, the to their their their to go their their their to go their their and they need to like move you they'll just go ahead and do it. Yeah. The ones what they just say we're moving this all to like we're moving

this cemetery to a different town. Come on man I feel like you were kind of you it feels like you're supposed to be buying a pretty permanent arrangement. That's all I'm saying. Uh family learned about a mistake after a random call to the funeral director two days after their father was buried. It seems that their father was buried in another area and another body was already on top of their mother's grave. Oh. They're just stacking them everywhere. Imagine catching your wife's wife. I would hate if another man was on top of her. My ex-wife's grey, my ex-wife's grey. Oh my goodness.

Heaven cocked by a stranger. Yeah. He comes home to their villa in heaven, and this dude's in there, and he's like, uh, honey? And he's just there forever until they move him. How I understand heaven to work. And we have something very exciting to tell you and I think you're really going to enjoy it. Because that's the rules of heaven is you have a townhouse

that the residents of the told house are determined by who's in a shared plot. So he got a set of keys the moment he was put in there. The time picturing it working. Quote, he said, can I tell you something? I said, what? He goes, your sister's right. Your dad is supposed to go on top of your mom. We buried him in the wrong place. And the person on top of your mom, we had to exhume that body, and we had to exume your dad's body and put your dad on top of your mother's body. Oh my god, they're doing Tower of Hanoi with bodies. All right, so this is going to take a minimum of five movements. I, so this, I believe who, uh, this woman is quoting is the funeral director who opened the conversation with can I tell you something?

Hey, can I be honest with you? Can I be real with you just for a moment? As your funeral director can I have permission to speak freely? So hey funny story. Let's wrap you gonna laugh about this later. Yeah, the weirdest thing happened to me this week. Promise you won't be mad. But let's play little game. Let's tell each other the biggest whoopsie we made at work this week. I'll go first.

Wow. That is what Tammy Booth's family's attorney says it's illegal to exhuma body without the family's consent. One needs to have a consent form sied by the family, which the cemetery didn't have. But also, like, is the third party in this also going to find out that their relatives' body was moved without permission? Yeah, I see it very different news story with just some of the names switched around. You don't want to ask questions that you don't like the answer to. I feel like if you're going to do the two things, wrong body and then illegally digging up the bodies to switch them back, don't tell anyone.

Yeah. If you're going to just keep to yourself. Keep fucking mouth shut. Also, if there's any other mistakes you can think of, just get them all at once. Infra penny, in for a pound. Plus you've already got the excavator. If you have a list, a running list of all of the burial mistakes you've made, have a sort of like a crazy Wednesday. Don't leave it out in the office. to hide it. it, but also on the same day you bring up these bodies, get the rest of it done. Just do a really big swap around, tell literally no one. Because the only, like unless you have a strong religious conviction where you believe there's like a material effect of visiting the grave

and you know praying over that grave or whatever it might be. Otherwise the damage here is purely psychic. If you told someone, no, there was never a problem, or I mean, don't tell them. But if they never knew there was a problem, there's literally no problem. The problem only happens. You're going to get your shovel out? Find out. Yeah, don't tell anyone. And it's fine.

It's totally fine. Although, hear me out, is the potential, the potential, the potential, the potential, the potential, the potential, the potential, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, tho, tho, thoomomo, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, there. tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the tha, the tha. tha.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, tha, the potential for the fallout from this? Is the potential fallout much worse the longer it goes on? So how much matter is somebody going to be when they were like, ooh, I was there to, Mrs. Booth was like, I went there every Saturday and talked to my husband for two hours, but it turns out I was talking to the guy called Diego Rodriguez Maybe you and Diego had a lot more in common, you know, maybe I had a lot to talk about Yeah, like finding out you did a bunch of wasted prayers, you know, I think I think God can redirect the prayers I think he knows exactly threw him. The thi th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi. thi thi. thi thi thi. thi. thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to to to thi. thi. thi's thi. thi's thi. thi. th prayers. I think he knows. He's like, it's fine. Through him, all things are possible, so yes. Yep. We are a Christian podcast, by the way. Yeah, this is the first episode.

Yeah, we are actually witnessing right now. Hey, we're a couple of cool, relaxed, easy-going people. Not the stereotype you were picturing, I guess. Yeah. It's a couple young Jehovah's Witness guys in my neighborhood. And we hate abortion. You wouldn't know it. We do. It's just never come up. Hey, I actually have some starred locations on a Google Maps and a link to the Anacus cookbook that you're really going to... Interested to talk about. And that's the note that we are supposedly finishing. No wait, we haven't finished the story. All right, yep. We haven't they they they they they they they they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll th. We'll th. Do th. Do th. Do th do th do th do do do do do do do do do do do. Do do. Do do it do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do it do do it do do it do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do we are supposedly finishing on. No, wait, we haven't finished the story. Oh right, yep. We haven't finished the story. Yeah, they'll forget it by the time we finished the podcast.

Yeah, the eight words left. So, so the family has found out about the terrible no good, very bad day that the funeral director has had. And they are seeking 55 million dollars in damages. Oh that's yeah no that's a joke. Are you taking the piece now? I'm not going to tell someone how much money their emotional distress is worth. I'll do it. 55 million. Yeah. Well as long as you three can do it. I'll give you two large. How about this man? How about this? One free grave. Number one I would ask like is this is this cemetery th th th th th this cemetery th this cemetery th th this cemetery th th th th th th th thuuuu the cemetery the cemetery the cemetery the cemetery the cemetery the cemetery the funeral the funeral the fu the fu thu. I thu. I thu. I'll thu. I th. I thi. I'll tho. I'll tho. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I the the th. I thi. I'm. I'm the. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I would ask like, is this cemetery and funeral home, like the fucking Microsoft of cemetery and funeral homes? How much money is like?

Or is it just like a cemetery slash funeral home? Well, it would be the funeral homes insurance paying this out, not the funeral home itself. Yeah, I'm just saying, I'm just saying I don't know if it's 55 million dollars worth of trauma to be like, well, we put him in the wrong hole and we moved him to the right hole. Yeah, I thought about my dad being in the wrong hall and I'm sad. You put a stranger on top of my dad mom, like I'm not, that's, that's their fault for skipping over the thing. You're on the take take take take take tak tak thake thake thake thake that that that that you're you're on the take from the funeral I think it's fine it's fine stop stop bearing your bodies in boxes you're taking up

space in the earth oh yeah yeah I'm gonna give them straight to the renderers guild is anybody just just have it on the oven is anybody on the show planning to be buried in corpse form I want to be buried in one of those like rap things you know where like the animals the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th the th the th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. I th. I the is the is the is the. I the. I the. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the is the buried in corpse form. I want to be buried in one of those like rap things you know where like the animals can just like the worms can eat you yeah. I'm Ash me, Ash me up. Yeah, grind me into a fine powder and then throw me into the trade winds. Me too. My deal is useful organs out. Yeah. Yeah. Set me free with the albatross. Yeah, yeah.

Let me just biodegrade more gracefully. I'm thinking useful organs out and then biomass to the animals. Yeah. To Titan. Yeah. Like, obviously I think it is kind of important, like all jokes aside, that is a reason we have a cultural ritual around having a place to go to, to grieve, you know, it's very cathartic to be able to think about someone sort of pointedly and reflect on that, it's kind of meditative, which is why I think there should be a 30-foot

gold statue of me somewhere in Brisbane. You know, like I'm not vain about my body, you know, if I can chuck that into the sea, but, but, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, like, th, like, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, to to to to to thr, to, to, to, thrown, thrown, thi, to thi, to to to to to to to to to tothat into the sea, but 30, 30 to 50 feet, solid gold statue, probably in the middle of Queen Street Mall, and I look really handsome, and I'm like super muscular and I'm not gonna say completely shredded and throwing like a Bruce Lee sidekick. Yeah, and it's sort of like it's a, in it, I'm shooting Hitler in the head and it turns out I actually, I was the one that won World War II single-handedly. I want one of those, you know, the really gigantic, like, mech statues that they do in Japan? Yeah, the giant gundam. A gundum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want one of those like 60-foot high g gundoms but it just has my face. No, no, it's got a perfectly clear cockpit canopy and you are actually sitting in it.

Yeah, it's sort of like a dreadnought from Warhammer 40,000. Yeah. Except you are dead. No taxi-dermid head. Kind of like a... Or like the Nixon robot from Futurama. Or a Timberwolf from Battletech. Yeah, but with a Deb gun, I'm thinking, load me up into one of those enormous...

load me up into one of those enormous bird cannons. And just really, like, you can pulverize me into the... Into the wilderness. A little part of you escaping orbit. Oh, you know what, I want if I can arrange and look I actually think this one is feasible. This one could be done, right? Organs out, ash me. But then, but then I want you to take my ashes and put them in the fish tube. You know the one that they used to carry like salmon over.

Where you going? Just wherever the water comes. That's th. And th. And th. And th. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, I, th, th, th, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th is th is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the one that they used to carry like salmon over? Where are you going? Just wherever the water comes up. That's fine. I just want to go for a ride through the tube and come out the other side with all the fish. Maybe some fish will eat me. Yeah. I'll be a little bit in their DNA when they're procreating, you know? Yeah. That's usually how that's usually how that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thooooooooooom. th. thauu. thau. th. th. th. th. th. theeating. thiii. You'll end up in a tin of John West. Yep. Yeah.

Cycle begins again. You know. That's so beautiful. Life is just a series of cycles. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's just a ride. Bill Hicks was right. Life is a highway.

Thanks, Bill Hicks. Thanks, Bill Hicks. that it eventually sets fire, I may return to the sky. Oh, folks. That has been what we in the industry like to call an episode of Buntowista. Yeah, and good job everyone. I think we really put enough distance between the ending and a joke about bombing abortion critics.

Well good. Excellent people to leave out with a nice clean face-tree. Very good. Those are the good guys.