Boonta Vista - EPISODE 291: Forget Everything You Know About Power Dropping A Monkey (with Phoebe Paradise)

Episode Date: April 5, 2023

Artist, musician, fashion designer and Brisbane icon Phoebe Paradise joins us to talk about: The ideal British diet, salvia-induced worm behaviour, using magic to trick monkeys, and the RIPing report. *** Get tickets to Vale Vivi here: https://thetivoli.com.au/events/vale-vivi *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hey, it's me, Ben from this podcast. Happy PlayProl, hope you doing well. I just want to say that in this episode I ask for, if anyone remembers a specific thing I'm talking about from a specific episode, and Theo volunteers that it's from an episode, and I say that that's what it is, but actually, we were both wrong. The thing I'm talking about was actually about Mimes and it was in episode 194 Willem Tell. I hope that clears things up. Hope you're okay. Enjoy the episode striking thing about practice is not the right words, all of that is correct. In a way, the most striking thing about Pregna Gerdin' as it's come to be known is its

mundanity. In the face of the absurdity of our conundrum, life mostly went on, as pregnant bus drivers delivered pregnant passengers to their destinations. Pregnant teachers pointed to mathmatic equations written on whiteboards while pregnant skilled children yawned in their seats. My name is Theo Ferroam and I guess you could call me a pencil pusher or a paper shuffler for the government. It's just that these days many of these papers are trying to make sense of just what we

could do about a world in which seemingly every man, woman, and child is permanently pregnant. I'm here with my strange and pregnant world we find ourselves in. I'm here with my strange wife Lucy on a desperate mission, but I don't know that yet. For now, Lucy, welcome. What a strange and pregnant world we find ourselves in. I'm pregnant. I'll see that you're pregnant. Congratulations, firstly. Thank you so much. We are. Everyone's skin looks fantastic. I'll say that. Sleeping like shit though. Yeah. I'm also here with my dear friend, the owner of this beautiful house that we find ourselves in, ex-cartoonist and now cannabis dealer. It's Ben. Ben, thank you so much for hosting us and providing us with this gunja. Yeah, you know.

It's all, I reckon it's all, it's just what we need right now. Yeah, um, why don't you cough? Just cough for me. What do you taste? Ah, blueberries. Yeah, that's right. It's blueberry cough. And I'm pregnant, by the way. You dumb, motherfucker. You woke up today, and you were like,

reverse children of med. All right, so everybody's pregnant. The crisis that the world is facing is that nobody is not pregnant. Well, they're perpetually pregnant? Are we person? Everybody's permanently pregnant. Wait, so that means you have the exact same problem as opposed to children of men? It's the same except everyone is just visibly, they have a baby bump?

So it's not reverse children of men. This is the the the the the the the their th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thie thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's pregnant. thi's pregnant is thi. thi's pregnant. thi's pregnant. thi. thi's pregnant. thi's pregnant. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. The c. th. th. The c. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thri. Cri. Crieei's thrieiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis crisis is cri. Cri- have a baby bump. So it's not reverse children of men. This is children of men plus everyone has a baby bum. Children of member everyone needs to pee more frequently. Who's that voice? Suddenly the air in the room goes still. A complete hush falls over us as the most unlikely thing in this world has entered the scene. Is it? Could it be? It appears to be the only unpregnant person of the entire world. It's returning guest. And now someone I need to apologize to, it's

Phoebe Paradise. Welcome back, Phoebe. Jesus Christ. It's all I can say. It's really frustrating that everyone in this world knows that I am the only person that isn't pregnant because I can no longer cover up the fact that I'd need to pee every five minutes just on the basis that I have a tiny bladder not not that I'm pregnant. Has anyone ever heard the song Ruby Tuesday by any Jen? I feel like listening to that right now. I noticed that you were drinking some wine with dinner Phoebe. Isn't that anything to? So am I.

You're possibly not pregnant? Well, you can have one class of wine. It's not so bad. They're all doing it. What are doctors know? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to. to. to, th. that. to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. I, th. th. th. th. I, th. th. I, th. I, th. I, thi. I, thi. I, to. to. I'm, to. I'm, to. to. to. to. to. to.. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I, thi. I... know? Yeah. Okay. So, I've had enough of this pregnant woman judgment. Question. I can see your question, Ben. About half an hour ago, the word pregnagetton came unbidden into my mind. At this point, I immediately opened discord and I wrote, does anyone, anybody have an intro.

Oh, you dumb, motherfucker. I'm going to say that a third time. You never throw it. Did someone suggest reverse children of men? No. Oh, yeah. I would have said, I'm a preggen. Oh, now that's good.

Oh, okay. Damn. It's easier to punch something up than it is to invent something from whole cloth. But let's get back to the important thing. All right, so the problem is that everyone is pregnant, and they have been for what, like 17, 18 years? I think so, yeah. How old was baby Diego the last non-pregnant person? Wait, no, hang on? Okay, so... Are the baby growing inside the bellies of these people? Or are they staying? Are we medium pregnant or we like super pregnant? I'm medium pregnant, alright. Just about in between. Second try and messed her, otherwise no one to get anything done.

That's true. Okay. So, I have some children of men-specific questions. Yeah. Possibly my, one of my favorite movies, if not the best movie. So you would have seen it a couple of times, so you can answer, I have some children, men-specific questions. Is it that baby, people just stopped being fertile? No, it was all stillbirths, like people, pregnancies just stopped being successful, right?

And then people stopped being fertile. Yeah, I think so, whereas in the book, it was because men had stopped being fertile. Right. So I'm I'm th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people just, people just, people just, people just, people just, people just, people just, people just, people just, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, th, th, people, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, people, th, th, thi, thi, people, thi, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, I'm just trying to, in the, I'm a pre-Preggaden, pregnant pregnant, yeah, pregnant get in situation, is it that everyone, say you're 35 and the thing happened 18 years ago, did you suddenly become pregnant at the age of 17 or were you born already pregnant? And it's just that the previous generation that weren't born pregnant has started dying out? No, no, everybody got pregnant at the same time. Okay, that, yeah, so pregnant in a sense was one day and then a continuing phenomenon.

Yeah, sort of a tail-on. It's hard to put into words Theo's expression while explaining and justifying this scenario. It was remarkably unstressed about it from their being grilled about the phenomenon that is pregagedin. Yeah. You know, there are other kinds of phenomenon. Sometimes those phenomenon are documented in the English tabloids. It's time for tabloid phenomenon.

This is a treaty, turned around. This is a story that comes to us from the daily record. Dad forced to live on diet of Easter eggs has scoffed over 200 in 2023. I love Great Britain. Yeah. Perfect country. Now, just from my basic medical understanding of the human body, there is no dietary condition in the world that would force you to live on a diet of Easter eggs, so the heading does seem to imply it's being done by a person.

Or circumstances. Yeah. Like, that's the only food's being done by a person. Or circumstances. Yeah. Like, that's the only food that he's got available to him in his house, which is grass locked in. The test goes are selling, you know? Yeah. This is the average British male. I don't know what your concerns are about this. Give him a big Sherb at Lollipop as well and he's set.

Little Sailor's set. Little sailors outfit and curly hair. How many days into the year are we? Well like a hundred days in and he's eating 200 eggs? So he's eating two eggs a day? That's not that many. That's not that crazy. We're talking like Cadbury cream eggs are we getting some like

anyone's ready. Even the big thin ones, two of those in a day, not a problem. Yeah. Doctors actually recommend that you have those. Meet the dad who is forced to live on a diet of Easter eggs and has already eaten more than 200 this year. Ashley Keane, 30, says he can only digest chocolate, mash potato, Yorkshire pudding and fruit, but he's yet to understand why. What a load of shit! Is this what he's telling his wife? Like, mash potato has like two ingredients, one of which is potato.

So if you can eat mash potato, you could eat other potatoes in any form. Yorkshire pudding, it's like flour, eggs and milk, which is like the primary ingredients in like a million foods. Yeah. You can have... Chief of which is bread. He could have gelato? Is this a case of that classic old joke where a man goes to a doctor and he's like, doctor, doctor, every part of my body hurts? I think I've broken every bone in my body. I toucest my shoulder, it's broken, it's broken, it hurts. And then it turns out his fingers broken? Is it not that he can't eat these food, any other foods? Is it just that this man this man has like rotten, fucked up teeth and can't eat food because he's like in pain? Maybe. Or it's like when you eat a vegetable and you haven't eaten

a vegetable in a long time. Oh, you're Jordan Peterson yourself. Yeah, exactly. And you have your body gives you like mega diarrhea because it has no idea what's happening. Also like this is a really fucked up list except for fruit. Yeah, otherwise it's your standard British diet from what I've seen online. It sounds like he's eating better than most English people. I've never seen a Brit eat any vegetable but a pea. Yeah, never seen them have a banana or a tomato in their life. Oh no, they like a tomato, don't. That's the one other thing there. Oh yeah, tomatoes at breakfast breakfast peas for kittar. Blooming hot, yeah.

Horrifying. He can only digest chocolate, mashed potato, Yorkshire puddings and fruit, but from January to April each year, he gorges on Easter eats, sorry, Easter treats at a cost of hundreds of pounds. This story is unwinding, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thine, thine, thine, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, horrifying, thi, horrifying, thi, horrifying, thi, thi, thi, horrifying, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, horrifying, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, horrifying to thi, horrifying, horrifying, horrifying, is to to to to to to toooooooooooooooooiiiiiiiii, horrifying, horrifying, horrifying, horrifying, horrifying, horrifying, I don't think it's logically sound. It's not internally consistent like preggageddon. No. No. I haven't stopped thinking about it.

Yeah, you find yourself pregnant with the thwart. Ashley, a sales assistant from Castleford West Yorkshire, reckons he eats between three and six eggs a day. Again, chocolate, Easter eggs, not regular eggs. You can't drop that detail. But he admits he does get sick of them and wishes he could eat a normal diet. The dad of two, he's out of his control. He can't. The date of two says his strange habits started when he was a baby

and have continued into adult life. He's been to see the doctor about it but was told everything was quote normal, leading him to think it could be psychological. Now you might as a listener right now be compelled to tell us that this man is perhaps on the spectrum and has some food issues around that and at which point I'm telling you, don't. That's not very funny. That's not a funny explanation to the story. Being a little baby syndrome.

That's what it. He has precious little fancy lad syndrome, unfortunately. So just to qualify, like he's saying that he can't eat it because his body won't process it. Is that it? But then he's just saying he doesn't psychological. He does, yeah, he has a little explanation further on. We'll get there. Ashley said, quote, my diet is quite boring and not something I enjoy.

I can't have meals with my two kids, so we can't go out for family meals and stuff like that. It's massively frustrating especially at Christmas. Yeah. You can have Yorkshire pudding at Christmas. Little the fruit pudding. Yeah. From the start of January through to April I eat over 250 Easter eggs. Okay. A little fruit pudding. Yeah from the start of January through to April, I eat over 250 Easter eggs. Okay. But, and also, you don't, that's not like something that you could talk about as if it's food. You're not getting any sustenance from an Easter egg. Well, it's funny that you say that. Yeah, okay.

It averages out between three and six days depending on how hungry I get. It's like the best part of the year for me. My dude, they don't really go off. The East chocolate is good for a couple of years. You just buy some. You've got the white stuff on the outside. Oh yeah, which I think is just flavor building up on it. You keep that in the freezer actually.

That'd be fine. Ashley says that he threw up every time he tried new food as a baby. Babies throw up for fucking anything. They love it. Have you ever met a baby? No, it's because he has a unique condition that made him throw up as a baby. There's no babies. But back when there were babies, you remember that they throw up all the time. So his parents stopped feeding him anything but Easter eggs and Yorkshire pudding because of this.

I'm assuming. Don't give a baby an Easter egg. Don't give the child what they want. They'll say to fucking anything. Why would you believe a child that told you, oh, I can only eat chocolate actually. Oh, fair enough, my three-year-old son. I'm pretty sure. I pulled this on my parents as well as soon as I was able to talk. I'm like, I only can eat my favorite food. Don't try anything else.

Take your hand right now, the listener, and kind of put it at waist height. That's as far as a baby can reach. And so all you need to do is gather all of those things and put them anywhere higher than that in the universe. Yeah, you get to decide the their to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide to decide their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to decide their. to decide to to to to to to to to to tiea. Ia. Ia. Ia.a. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. toe. toe. their their their their the universe. Yeah. And then they don't get eggs. Yeah, you're sort of the master of whether or not your child has Easter eggs. Yeah, you get to decide. Yep. He's now developed a severe aversion to trying new foods due to the fear he will again be sick, like when he was a baby. Despite visiting numerous doctors over the years, no one has been able to identify the issue. Ashley says he has even requested a full-body MOT.

Does anyone know what that stands well? He wants that full-body moat. Yeah, he wants that mott. Because out they're getting modded by several doctors. Uh, expecting that his diet had left him with health. But all his results came back showing full health. One possible diagnosis is avoidance slash restrictive food intake disorder. Ashley says, a condition characterized by the person avoiding certain foods or types of food.

Which, yep, fair enough, that does kind of sound like what he has. So far this year he has eaten 208 Easter eggs since January, spending around 330 pounds on the sweet treats. Now he says his dietary restrictions have left him depressed and searching for support or help. Ashley said, quote, it's getting to the point where it's coming towards Easter and I've had them for past nearly four months. I'm getting quite sick of them. On the outside I look like a normal 30 year old. It's depressing but it's something I've always lived with. That is incredible that he's actually managed to look. He's surviving. Yeah. He's alive.

Yeah. What did he expect? I want him to thrive though. What would like, like, what's the physical manifestation of this that he expected would be there that like people would look at it and be like, oh my god, that guy only eats three to six Easter eggs a day. Also...... Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. th. th. that. that. that. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. That. th. th. That. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's like, th. It be like, oh my God, that guy only eats three to six Easter eggs a day. Also, doesn't the diagnosis of him being avoidant to certain foods kind of remove the use of the word can't in the headline? Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't want to psychologically. But also that kind of makes it sound like it's not a mystery either, which this article also makes several claims about. Yeah.

Yeah. Quote, the amount of chocolate I ate isn't normal, yet I'm not diametic or anything. How is everything fine? A lot of people say, if you only eat chocolate, why aren't you the size of a house? I requested a full MOT from the doctors a few years ago because I thought, surely I can't be perfectly fine. I did all the tests and they said, all my levels were perfect. I'm not buying that. Maybe he has cracked the code. Yeah.

They haven't invented a scanner for big bitch baby disease he had. It didn't show up on the MOT. So, MOT is measurements, observations and tests according to the UK. Just like blood tests. So full the the the ths ths th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the theck theck theck the. the. I theck theck the. I the the the the the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. Maybe th. Maybe the. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe the the the the the. the the. the thea thea thea thea thea thea thea' thea'cc. thea' thea'c. thea' theck theck the, observations and tests according to the UK. Just like blood taste? So full bloods and etc. But his levels are perfect. Yeah. He's basically a super soldier for meeting chocolate eggs. Quote, there's no meat, veg, or takeaways. I love mash but don't eat chips or jacket potatoes. Okay. A jacket potatoes is the same. It's the same.

It's the same potato inside. Odd list of food types though. Yeah, meat, vegetables and takeaway? Yeah, that's the British food pyramid. The food pyramid. Meat, veg, takeaways. I've tried different foods over the years to try and change my diet, but now it's the fear of being the fear the fear the fear the fear the fear the fear the fear of being sick. I hate being sick and don't want to put myself through that. Before I had kids I couldn't stand the smell of food or touching food.

But since having kids I can cook food for them and my partner. It does frustrate me that I can't go out with them and have a meal. If we go out for a meal I'll just sit and have a couple of drinks. It's frustrating because where do I go to the the can recommend where to go, like to therapy. Like I feel like it's pretty straightforward. No, no, no, you go to the papers. You go to the daily observer. Straight to the papers. If this was an episode of House, this would be foreshadowing for a guy that's getting slowly poisoned by his wife that hates it. He's not th. He's not allergic. He's not allergic. He's not. He's not. He's not. He's not. to to to thi. to to thi. thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. to be thiololome. to be tooom. tooomomomom. tooes. thiol-oomom. tooomomomomomorrow. tooomomomomomomomorrow. tooomomomomom. tooomomomomomom. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I. No. No. I. I. No. I. I is is is. I is. It is. It is. It's to. It's to be to be to be thi. It's to be to be thi. It's toe. It's toe. It's toeaa. It's toea. It's toea. Ia. Ia. I'ma. I'ma. I'ma. I'ma. I'ma. I'm toea. I'm toea. I toe's not allergic to everything I eat throw up.

It also tastes like a teaspoon of bleach every single thing that I eat and the only thing I can eat comes in these pre-packaged Easter eggs before my wife can get to them. Fuck, oh my god, that's pretty good actually. Yeah, that'd be great. I also see this one as an episode of Scrubs where everyone's making fun of him being like, oh, you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, and you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just, you're just just just just, you're just, you're just, you're just, to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, theeeeat, theat theat theeat, to to theeat, theat, theat, theat, theat, thi, thi, th'd be great. God damn. I also see this one as an episode of Scrubs where everyone's making fun of him being like, oh you're a big baby and you're just you're choosing not to eat it, you're not really sick. But then it turns out he has a specific type of brain cancer that means he can only eat Easter eggs and they learn a lesson about listening. What lesson are we learning? Egg on our face? And he's played th. And he's th. And he's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's played thi's played th. th. thi's played thi's played th. thi's played th. thi's played th. th. th. th. thi's played thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. You're just thi. You're just thi. You're just thi. You're th. You're th. You're th. You's th. You's to to to to to to to to to to to th. You th. You th. You th. You's th. You's th. You's th. You's th. You's th. You's thi. You're thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiii. thiii. thiii. thi. thi. thi. thi a pretty big struggle. Life can be a trip sometimes.

Right? Mm-hmm. It's time for the tripping report. I'm like itchin' for another edition of the trip and report. Jesus. Yeah, it's something. Ah, this is the segment, of course, as everyone knows, where we read through trip reports that have been typed up by recreational drug users and put into the Arrowwood Experience Vault. This one is from a user with the username Carlos posted on April 4th, 2023, with the title Shattered Reality.

Here we go. On this particular night we had a goody bag to be shared by three containing a gram of cocaine, a gram of salvia times 20 extract, 20 bottles of Beck lager and two valiums just in case. Just a case of what? The beer doesn't work. Can I just specify the beer brand? Yeah, it was very odd. I don't think that's gonna... Only two valium?

It's written Beck larger, actually, with the two hours. Anyway, we went to my friend's house, cracked open a few beers and prepared for the worst. Once we built up the bong, to, the, to, to, the, to, the, to, the to, the to, the th, the th, th, th, the th, th, the, the, the the, the thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, tho, the the, thoom, thoom, thoom, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, t, the, the, the, toge, toge, toge, together, together, together, together, and together, together, together, together, together, together, together, thea'erer's together, we filled the bong and I took the bong, inhaled, held in for as long as I could, sat down and then said goodbye to this world. I can't remember much of what happened, and what I do remember is impossible to account. This proceeds him giving a full account of what happened. First, for no reason whatsoever, I started laughing uncontrollably. The next thing I recall was being... Except for the huge amount of drugs I had just adjusted. It's just the weed I had had.

The next thing I recall was being on the floor trying to crawl through what I can only describe as a shattered reality. As I had totally forgotten I'd smoked the salvia, I thought this was my reality, but somewhere deep at the back of my mind I knew something wasn't right. So all my thoughts and will became bent on leaving this place. So as I was still on the floor, I tried to stand up. And then from nowhere, someone grabbed me by the back of the head and pushed me back down. I tried to look up to see who this bastard was, but as the same sentence over and over. I couldn't make out the first part of the sentence, but the last words were, quote, to the minus seven. This seemed to last for an eternity, crawling and crawling, but whenever I seemed to make any progress,

the hand would come again and push me back down. Oh no, he's being stabified. After one felt like a lifetime, the pieces of reality began to merge back together, and together, and together, and together, and together, and together, and together, and together, and together, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I together, and I to to to to their, their, their, their, their their, their, the lifetime, the pieces of reality began to merge back together, and I remember seeing the couch in thinking, this is my chance to leave this place, and I leapt onto it. As a wave of utter relief washed over me as I realized I was back in the room. I looked to my friends for confirmation. Am I back? I asked, they laughed and replied, you don't look it. I then began to

examine the room but things didn't seem real. I was very disoriented and through all the commotion I'd pushed the one seat of couch halfway into the kitchen. It's probably all that selfie a dude. Imagine watching your friend do this and just not intervening. Or just pushing the back of his head every time he started yelling. Getting a little too close to that couch again, he's almost to the kitchen. He probably can't even tell we're pushing his head down, so he's probably fine. I pushed the one-seater couch halfway into the kitchen, the house is open plan. So the room seemed to be split in two.

And the thought occurred that maybe when the pieces of reality had merged, the last two pieces hadn't, and I was torn between two realities. I decided the best thing to do would be to take a walk around the room, to make sure that this wasn't true. But I was glued to the chair. The gravity had become very heavy and I was unable to move. I was swinging my arms and kicking my legs just to make sure they were in fact glued down. This caught my friend's attention. Again, great mental image. Guy just sitting in an easy chair,

just like throwing his limbs all over the place. Reality! Are you back? They asked. God I hope so, I replied. After another minute or so, my motor skills returned and I managed to get to my feet and as soon as I did I was truly back. I was still very spaced out so I took a line of coke to regain alertness. And to be honest, because I was scared shitless. That's smart. The Coke really helped. See, it is medicinal. Yeah. This is the account from my friends. I slid from the couch like a worm. Rolled up in a ball and started talking jubri-ish.

Such a great fucking... There's a little... Straight onto the floor. Because clearly the friends are completely normal in this scenario. Yeah, they're fine. They're having no problem. He's curled up, Metroid style, going, blah blah blah blah blah.

While they're just laughing at him. I then crawled to my friend and asked her to save me. She told me to go behind the couch and I would be safe. So I tried to tunnel between the couch and the wall, obviously to no avail. I then crawled around the floor for a minute or two talking nonsense and switching between a very serious mentality to uncontrollable laughter. Surprisingly I was only under for about three minutes. Would I do it again? Definitely what Selvia is? Is this normal? Yeah. Salvia is that weird thing that used to be like semi-legal in the states, so weird guys

would buy it from gas stations and have the worst two-minute eternity of their lives? Yeah. It's just a plant. Like you've, there's Selvia at like the botanical gardens in Tuong in Brisbane. Like it is just a minute? That is their their their th is th is th is th is just th is just their th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You their their their their their th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You their th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the stuff. It's the stuff. It's their stuff. Yeah. It's their stuff. Yeah. It's their their stuff. It's th. It's th. It's th. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. It's th. Yeah. It's their the gardens in Tuong in Brisbane like it is just a way that is just like around I'm about the worst day of the potato grows out of the ground man like what's the worst it could possibly happen my question is has this guy like shown up to a house party and then like all right gang we're like getting fucked up tonight this is going to be sick and everyone's like yeah dude totally that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho' the's just just tho. the the the tho. their th. their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the's just just just just just just just just just just just just tho. tho. tho. tote. tote. tote. tote. tote. tote. tho. tho. tho. tho. the the. the're like getting fucked up tonight. This is going to be sick. And everyone's like, yeah, dude, totally. That sounds awesome. Let's all do this. And he's the only one that's done it. Because if he had that like mental breakdown while getting high off Salvia, what was everyone else doing? Were they just watching him and they didn't take anything?

I guess he was just weak, you know, I guess they're just built- He's a Cadbury. Yeah, it's Selvia Bader. Fricking Cadbury. This is exactly what would happen to that guy if he had anything except Easter eggs, you'd have the same, same three minutes in hell. Maybe he's just American and he had precisely three beers. Yeah, then enters the wormhole from sliders and just like gets trapped for eternity in the mirror world.

Four coroners, just done. I don't know if I haven't seen a pop up before, but I was looking at other trip reports on Errowood this afternoon and they have like a boiler plate like, hey, it's really dangerous to drive if you're fucked up on drugs that they inserted to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and just like, and just like, and just like, and just like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and just like, and just like, and just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like th, like th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's like, thi's like, like, like, like, hey, it's really dangerous to drive if you're fucked up on drugs that they inserted to stories where someone has mentioned that they did a bunch of drugs and drove. There's like one of the ones I was reading the guy was like, couldn't remember any of his friends names, had no idea what he was doing, but then was like, well I decided to go for a drive to clear my head head. You're like like like, th th th th th th th th th the th th the th th th the th the th th th the th th the th th th the th the th th the thin, thin, thin, tho tho tho tho thatu thi the tho o' tho o' tho o' tho o' tho o' that that. that. that. that, that, that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin thin thin thin thin thi the the the the the the the the an the an the an the an the an the an the an the an the an the an the an the decided to go for a drive to clear my head. You're like, oh, no, hey buddy. Jesus Christ. The only time, or the first time I took acid, I spent like two hours trying to work out

whether or not I had already pissed myself or whether I was about to piss myself, or whether I had already shit myself or whether I had already shit myself, or whether I was about to shit myself, and just sat completely motionless for two hours, like really just ruminating on this while simultaneously not being able to get out of the chair to like work it out for myself. The idea of, yeah, it's out of my hands. There's nothing I can do about this. But the idea of like getting behind the wheel of a vehicle. In the middle of that, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it, like, it, it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that, th. thi, thi's, thi. Like, thi. Like, thi. Like, thi. Like, it's thi, about this. But they're the idea of like getting

behind the wheel of a vehicle in the middle of that is just insane. My God. I can't do anything on psychedelics. Like every single time I've taken them with people. I've gone into it being like, you know what, this is going to be really fun. I love acid, I love shrooms. This is going to be great. Hang out with a couple people people. Like, th. Like, th. Like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I, th. I th. I th. I, th. I's, th. I' th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm just just just, this is going to be great, hang out with a couple people, we'll have some laughs, we'll get a little bit silly, and then I like start feeling something, and I'm like, oh, this is pretty cool, and then ten minutes later, I'm like, I need to get the fuck away from these people. I can't talk to them, I can't be around them, what if they think I'm moving, their, their, I'm, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and I'm, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and, and, and then, and then, and then, and then, tho, and then, and then, and I, and I, I, I, and I, I, and, and, and, and, I, I, and, I, and, and, and, and, and, I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the whole time being like everybody else looks like they're having fun. Why aren't I having fun? Am I defective as a person? I should just just leave. I should get behind the wheel of my car. Does it speak to a greater floor in my personality overall and I'm only just noticing it for the first time? The worst feeling. I should probably puzzle this out while I walk home completely alone at 4 a.m. through Logan. Good.

Trucks are great and also the worst. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Podcasts. They're nature's greatest natural resource, and it's important that they're harvested sustainably. Editing, production, fart sound effects. These are all important resources from our local ecosystems. That's why we're asking you to go to Patreon.com slash Buntavista

and pledge five US dollars a month to help support the healthy growth of a homegrown podcast, like Bontavista. In exchange, you'll get an extra sustainably farmed episode, access to our discord and a naturally pristine, promo-free podcast feed. Thank you for helping look after one of nature's most precious resources. Hey, taking a bunch of asset and driving your car, that could potentially lead to a very tragic and upsetting death. It's time, of course, edition of The Ripping Report. It's time for the least popular and least funny segment on this show.

I like it. I'm a fan. You're kind of a goth though. You like it when things are dark. That's right. It's spooky. This is where we recount, uh, freak, tragic deaths that have occurred in the past week. I have four deaths full of you, but one is a two-fer. First one here, a 43-year-old man in Brazil died from a severe allergic reaction to having swallowed a bee three weeks earlier. Oh my goodness. Huh? He was riding his bike. So this man swallowed a bee three weeks earlier. Oh my goodness. Huh?

Yeah, he was riding his bike. So this man who's a professional roaer. He was riding his bike on a trip in Brazil and he swallowed a bee. And then he was hospitalized because he had a reaction to it and then three weeks later he died because he swallowed that bee while he was riding his bike. Can you smell it? Stinger and then it... They should have gotten to swallow a spider. Yeah.

You can get that bad boy. Phoebe, congratulations, you are put to visters, comedian of the week! No! No! I can do better. You are the first non-host of this show to win that award. Congratulations, it is a curse. Fuck.

Thank you. God damn, that- So the bees already dead at this point. Is it? I think so? Well, I don't know. None of the articles I read was like, well, the stinger got him in the larynx. Or the thorax.

Yeah, I'm allergic thothe thorax. Yep. I'm allergic to bees now and I have a new fear thanks to this story. Yeah you could just be doing anything and swallow a bee and that's it. Jesus. Yeah. And I gotta have my mouth open. Because my nose is fucked up. So I'm kind of, I just can't be out in the world anymore. I can't have to wear one of those apirist outfits at all times. Yeah goddamn. God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God to have to have to have to have to have the th, in the th. In th. In th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, thoom. tho, tho, thoom! tho-n't thi. tho-n't thoes, thoes, thoes thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes. thoes. thoes. thoirist outfits at all times. Yeah, God damn. In similar news, did you see those photos of a guy that had a ladybug alive inside his butt? This week? No? How inside his butt are we talking?

Like, inside so much that they required a laparoscopy. So they had to put a, put a camera inside his colon. And it was alive, thrivi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to be to be thi. to be to be thi. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to had to put a camera inside his colon. And it was alive, thriving, inside of his body, and had been for several days. Look up the photos, they're deeply upsetting. No, I'm not going to do that. I am. Lady Bug, man's. But, I should have said, yeah. With this, plus the beefing, I feel like my childhood fear of swallowing a watermelon seed is really like, becoming more and more close to reality.

Are you seeing it best? This is not what I expected. That is the inside a man. This is from 2021, the one I'm looking at. But this is like a gorgeous full color, high resolution photo of the inside of a man's tube. What color ladybird? It's a sort of orange-y red with black spots? Classic style, yeah. That is, um, this is far more harrowing that I had anticipated. I thought that those tiny cameras is just like a little black and white grainy thing.

This is a, uh, uh-uh, HD. This is very fucked up. Like a ladybird's not a malevolent presence, I feel like. Like I'm not super, like, I'm not like a poltergist. It's not the worst thing that could be living in my asshole, I feel like. She's the worst thing that could be living in your assholes. Yeah. It's kind of cottage core, actually. I'm actually having a ladybody living inside of you. I'm thinking of putting a fern up there next. A little froggy. Yes, I'm going to make that photo the picture for this podcast episode.

Okay. I'm not going to do that. Hell yeah. Two men died from electrocution after allegedly breaking into a power substation in Gainesville, Georgia. Yeah, there's a lot of power in those. It's why they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th. I thi thi. I thi. I just thi. I just thi. I thi. I just thi. I just tho thi. I tho thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thage. I thage. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. of power in those. It's where they keep the electricity. It's where they keep it. I just don't, I didn't think it would be that easy to like, I didn't think it was like cartoon physics that you just walk in there and toucest their thing. Yeah, that kind of sucks. Why did you break in there? What do you think you're going to find in there but they were allegedly robbing it but it does seem like a yeah It sounds like they got some they stole some

There were some consumer electronics in there computers and such peripherals a passenger aboard a virgin voyages cruise ship that had just departed Miami died after falling off a balcony and on top of another passenger who was on a lower deck. No. So the person they fell on to survived but they died. I'd hate to be crushed by another cruise passenger. That's right. But imagine being the person that survived and you have to go from fucking Miami to Honduras being like someone to cancel the cruise. They're gonna keep going on the cruise, right? They resumed the cruise, the fucking- Shut off the body.

Red flag on the cruiser, I can. Having that conversation with your fiancé, the next night being like, babe, I just think we can still make it fun. We've just got to like, put it a little negative. Like, let's just try to have a good, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, trip, you know, like I think we can still make it fun. We've just got to like put it a little more ever. Like let's just try to have a good time. This is our one week off this year and I get something pretty crazy happened to you yesterday but also we've already paid five grand and and it is Fetichini Tuesday and so maybe smile. Can't help but notice we haven't been having a lot of sex lately. You go to like the comedy night at the cruise ship that night and all they talk about is the guy that fell on you.

Oh, fuck. The comedian won't stop roasting you about the guy. You guys notice I've been handing everyone hard hats on the cruise. I mean, I said we were gonna... I mean, I said to a good- I'm calling for this cruise and he starts singing a song about that. I knew this was going to be a great trip, but I didn't know that it was going to be such a big full. Am I right?

You really are. The Budivista comedian of the week. What he's going on here? Also, this is pretty much basically the climax to the, uh, fuck book, um, the, about family drama, who's the guy that's just, huh? Ah! You need it like, you to elaborate.

And then he wrote the book about birds after that, the... What are you fucking talking about? It's not Dave Eggers. This is so good. We try th, we th, we th, we try try th, we th, we try try to to th, we th, we th, we to th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho, that, that, that, that, that, thi, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, f'a, f-a, f-a, f-a. f-fo-a, f-a, f-a, that, uh, what I'm talking about? It's not Dave Eggers. This is so good. We tried to do like a book reference instead of a movie for once to be smart. We're just... I don't read books. I've never read a book in my life. I have no idea what you're talking about. The Portabella mushroom guy. The porta-bellowar mushroom. The porta-bollah. The port-a-o'-bushed-o'-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-s. th. thu. thu. the-o'-s. thu. thu. I. I. I. I's-s. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I don't-I-I don't-I don't-I don't-I don't-I don't-I don't-I don't tho' to-I don't to-I don't to-I don't to-I don't to-I to-I to-I to-I to-I to-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-s. We th. We th. We th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thu. I th-s. I th-s. I the. I the. I the. I don't the. I don't the. I don't thea-s. I don't thea-s. I don't thea-I don't theeee. I the. I the. I the falls off the cruise boat because he's leaning so far over the deck to try and get a look at a nude woman on like a lower deck. So you think that's what happened? I guess that's what's happened. He fell on the nude woman but she had like a really nice rack and really cushioned her from. It really cushed her from the blow. That's good. It was beauty not the, the, the, the, the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the that. the the the that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that's. thatthe whatever that killed the, I don't even know what that quotes from and I can't remember what it is.

We're doing great. So on, some people in the wiki that we have, or at least in the spreadsheet for transferring stuff to the wiki, I don't actually know how any of it works, has started documenting the movies we reference in each episode and they have done a surprisingly extensive job of cataloging those. I was just sort of having a scroll through it to be like, oh that's kind of funny. Except there was like a couple of months there where we mentioned Jurassic Park in nearly every single episode of the podcast. Really odd to see yourself documented. So amazing. Should have Congo in there? Hope they've yourself documented. So...

Should I have Congo in there? Hope they've got Congo. Yeah, I think Congo's actually come up quite a lot. I re-watched Congo the other day because we've been talking about Congo so much. A great movie. Oh, really? Top to bottom amazing. It's really fucking terrible.

Tim Curry's accent is so bad that I invented a false memory where I was like, oh I remember this, he has the bad accent at the start, but then because it turns out he's lying, he drops the accent because he's not really, he's like, no, no, no, he has that accent for the entire movie. But he's also doing that, the red alert video thing where he's visibly laughing at the Congo virus? Is that right?

No. Is that the start of that movie? Not even anything. No. What is that? What's that? It starts by some guys in the Congo getting mysteriously killed by some off screen? What's that? Are you confusing it with the start of the 1999-Gonzi-Gongo-Gon-Gon-Gon-go-go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ngo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-so-no-no-no-so-so-so-so-so-so-so-so-so? Is to-so-o-o-n-o-ni-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n? to-n? to-n? to-n? Is, to-n? to-n? to-n? to-n? to-n? to-n? Is, to-n.-n.-n.-n.-n.-n. th-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-co-co-cco-coo-coo-coer-coer-coer-coer-coer-coer-coer-coer-coer-coer Congo up with? Are you confusing it with the start

of the 1999 Godzilla movie where they dropped those bombs on that island? No, no, no, it's got Dustin Hoffman in it. Does Congo have dustman Hoffman? It does not, which is something that you said on the last time. Yeah, what do I think of? You had 24 hours to look it up? Oh my god. That is killing me. Justin Hoffman, nuclear bomb virus. Congo, is it even the Congo? Outbreak? Outbreak? Outbreak? Outbreak? Outbreak? I've been thinking of the movie with the advanced apes that they're fucking talking about? Apes. Ape's like a monkey in outbreak, surely. We've been talking about the movie with the advanced apes that they kill with lasers.

No? Is it a monkey virus? No. Is that the movie? No. It's not the movie virus. It turns out humans are the real monkey virus. Oh, is it because I'm mixing up.

And I swear to God, this could be it, that I'm mixing up, my memories of outbreak and the movie Brain Dead were dead alive to Americans, which is about a monkey virus. You might be. So you don't, you've never seen Congo. Oh, I've seen Congo. What are we saying? What are we saying? What are we saying? What are we from doing here? What? Hey, there's one thing that all three of those have in common. And it's that they include apes.

Nope, no, it's that they include monkeys, which are a type of ape-adjacent creature, it's time for Nature Corner. Country Roads, take me home to the place. I belong, Bultonista, Nature Corner. Nature Corner, rubber crab, snipped my deer. It is a monkey virus and outbreak, fuck you. Okay, no one was disagree with you on that point. Someone did! They said, no, I don't think so. That didn't happen. You made it up.

You're so crazy right now? You know how crazy you sound? You're starting to lose track of your thought, you're getting confused. Fear is boiling with Ray train. I don't know what's real and what's not anymore. You're that's that. It that. It that. It that's that's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th th is th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to thi to thi to thi to thi thi thi thi're starting to lose track of your thought you're getting confused. Fear is boiling with Ray-Drae. I don't know what's real or what's not anymore. You did literally just storm off for a second. You know the pregnant brain. pregnant women are so irrational, they don't even notice that. Jesus. You know these episodes are recorded, right? Fuckin' the, Lucy, you, and I hate to talk about Twitter on this, this podcast.

We're all pretty young here. But you, replying, what was it, was it, calm down, pussycat, to the fucking, the, what's it, the trans foam who came over to Australia? The posi-a-due. the trans foam and she was saying how... Amazing. Yeah. Smile a bit. Calm down, please get, smile a bit. To reply to one of those people, but you can't do it as a cisman? No, you can't do that. Very bad.

It's not allowed. You can't make any criticism. You can't fave when your female co-host does it, but you can't retweet because again that's close to an endorsement. Yeah. That was the moral calculus I got on that one. Yeah. This is a press release from the University of Cambridge. Slight of Hand magic trick only fools monkeys with opposable thumbs. My God. Yep.

I've got a lot to think about now. So bring up monkeys around the ocean. Virus-free, they specify. By performing a famous magic trick for three species of monkey with differing hand structures, scientists have discovered that in order to deceive, a conjurer needs a similar anatomy to their audience. Ah. Hey, so someone got a monkey hands here? Now I threw this out to the discord and also to my co-hosts.

I swear to fucking God that we have done a story before where the guy doing the research was a magician and it was similar somehow to this, and I couldn't find what episode or what it was about. So if you remember... Someone said it was an episode with Jesse and it might have been about octopus's and that octopus, that sounds familiar to me. We did do an octopus episode. Like doing a magic trick for an octopus. Yeah, it's the only Jesse one that I was on.

It's with the Bifer Dolphin. Oh, I wasn't on that one. That's probably why you remember. Wait, that... Okay, well if you've figured this one out, let us know. Psychologists used a sleight of hand trick called the French Drop, in which an object appears to vanish when a spectator assumes it is taken from one hand by the hidden thumb of the other hand. The study, carried out at the University of Cambridge's comparative cognition lab, found that monkeys lacking opposable thumbs did not fall for the assumption, staying wise to the whereabouts of tasty treats a magician tried to make disappear.

Hmm. Hmm. Phrenology, mixed with magic, mixed with apes. Really, really questionable. Like, I don't like the idea of categorizing, like, monkeys in this way, when we should really be asking why all magicians look like that instead, you know?

Researcher, research of thyself first. And then, then start interrogating the apes. Yeah. The research suggests that sharing a biomemechanical ability may be necessary for accurately anticipating the movements of those same limbs in other individuals. This is true even when those apparently accurate predictions end in befuddlement at the hands of an illusionist. Whoever wrote this press releases? I love just imagining like a magician in this like they've hired a magician to do this tr-

He's wearing a stupid fucking hat. He's got like a red shirt and a black jacket and a stupid fucking tie. His tie has cards on it and wands. Yeah. Fuck that guy. The monkey's not tricked by his little trick but also just pulls his face straight off. Dee gloves his head. Phae-hubes his head. Phaeus

Magicians use intricate techniques to mislead the observer into experiencing the impossible. It is a great way to study blind spots in attention and perception, said Dr. Elias Garcia Pelagrin, who has practiced magic for a decade and conducted the experimental work during his PhD at Cambridge. Like, I love that that sentence is them gassing up the concept of like close-up magic and then describing him as a magician. Like, yeah, I can see the link there. Of course he thinks it's cool. The French drop is often the first trickickickickick thiiii to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to thi. thi. the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thei. thei. try. theoooooooooooooi. It. It's th. It's the. It's a the. It's a th link there. Of course he thinks it's cool. The French drop is often the first trick any budding magician sets out to master. A coin is displayed in one hand, the other hand reaches over and grabs it.

The palm of the second hand faces inwards with a magician's thumb concealed behind fingers. The audience knows the thumb is lurking, ready to grip. So assumes the coin has been taken when it is no longer visible. Their attention follows the second hand, only to find it empty at the reveal. The magician had secretly dropped the coin into the palm of the original hand. Food morselsles replaced coins for the monkeys and were given as rewards, but only if the animals guessed the correct hand. Scientists predicted that monkeys were opposable thumbs would act like the the the the the the the the the the the correct hand. Scientists predicted that monkeys with opposable thumbs would act like human audiences, and assume that the hidden

thumb had grabbed the item and then therefore choose the wrong hand. They repeatedly performed the French drop on 24 monkeys. Just poor monkeys. Animal testing is very cruel. It's so fucking funny. That sounds like a weird wrestling move. This is like a weird wrestling move. This is like, what I thought animal testing was when I was like six years old. You know when people talked about animal testing you're like, yeah they just put lipstick on cats and performed magic tricks to create befuddlement. Scientifically induced monkey befuddlement. Yeah, that's primarily what it is. It's fine. I don't know what PTA is complaining about.

Eight capuchins were dazzled with peanuts. Eight squirrel monkeys with dried meal worms and eight marmasets with marshmallows. Marmoseets just a big marshmallow head. Why, why that? Why those? I don't think you should give a monkey a marshmallow. Like the first two are things that occur in nature. Why are you just like, oh fuck it, whatever, we got this bag of marshmallows lying around. We're never going to have that Friday knockoff campfire we said we were going to have.

Captions are famed for dexterity and use stone tools to crack nuts in the wild. They can waggle each figure and have opposable thubs allowing precision grip between thumb and four figures. So they can play the world's smallest violin. That's amazing. It can do all these mice. The captions were regularly fooled by the French drop, 81% of the time. Idiots. You're dumb, shit hands. You're not smarter than me. You're not smarter than me, capuchin.

Squirrel monkeys are much less dexterous than capgians with limited thumb rotation, but can oppose their thumbs. As such, they are still familiar with a hidden thumb interacting with fingers. However, they cannot perform a precision grip in the same way as capgions and humans. Yet, squirrel monkeys were routinely misled by millworms that seemingly vanished. They were fooled 93% of the time. Even dumber. Even stupider. Squirrel monkeys, morons.

How are we quantifying surprise in this experiment. Oh, eyebrow high. Yeah. Like, who's sitting there with like a scale of one to five printed A4 sheet of like monkey expressions and checking the box next to little bit befuddled, slightly befuddled, highly befuddled? I like the idea that they're getting out a set of calipers and they're just like, three centimeters of eyebrow height, 20 degrees of head tilt. Yeah.

Oh, this guy seems pretty surprised. They failed to mention that the monkeys are like set up in the clockwork orange chair with their eyes like pinned open. Watching a magician. Yeah, the monkeys appear extremely suggesting that the episode I was referring to is the bonus episode titled, If you see a blue-ringed octopus on a rock pick it up immediately and take it to the ocean, it will die without your assistance.

So check out that episode. And follow that advice. Marmosets do not have opposable thumbs. Their thumbs align with their fingers to make five equidistant digits, ideal for climbing thick tree trunks. Marmoseets were rarely taken in by magic, just 6% of the time. So that rules. Imagine the magician just getting more and more frustrater.

The fucks this guy's problem. They're not being fooled by magic because they're not smart enough enough to to to to to to to to to to the...... thi. thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thicking. I thicking thicking thick. I thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thicking thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thick. thick. te. te. tri. trie. trie. trie. trie. trie thick. thick. thick. thick thick. thickthey're not smart enough to realize that normally a hand would pass objects to each other. It's a weird one, right? Yeah. Yes, that normally that's the way you would pick up a thing if you're trying to be tricky about it. Yeah.

So by being stupider, they're actually smarter than everyone else, which is kind of the thesis of this podcast. Maybe they're just stupid enough to think it's in the hand that it was in in the first place. Yeah. Like maybe they're just dumb bitches. Maybe they're bimbo's. That's the next sentence here. They simply chose the hand in which the marshmallow was initially placed and stuck with it. It's that one. That the the th th th th th th th th th. That th. That th. That th. That th th. That one. That th th th th. That's th th. That's th. That's the marshmallow. That's th. That's th. That's the marshmallow. I'd know the marshmallow hand anywhere, it's that one. Previous work from the Cambridge team shows that species without hands at all... I was pitching monkey species that didn't have hands. They're actually referring to birds. Oh I think you mean like animals without hands. Yeah. In this case birds from the Corvord family make similar choices as marmasets when when the th. It. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the th. I th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Prea. Pre. Pre. Pre. Pre. It. It the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the In this case, birds from the Corvid family

make similar choices as marmasets when confronted with a French truck. So that's something that birds from the corvon family and marbosets have in common. Yeah. It's nice. That's what they talk about at parties. They like joie de vide. their trans. You don't anticipate implied transfer of objects with not entirely visible biomechanical actions on a hand? Yes. I thought a crow would enjoy close-up magic. I thought that...

You can't say that. They could be the outfit. Every, like, every single study about crows as they find out their like secret hyperintelligence, right? But not in this case. Yeah. The scientists also devised their own version of the French drop, which they called the Power Drop. That's where you punch the monkey in the face. But also, stop using all of our scientific funding money

to come up with new magic trips, tricks. It utilizes a hand action that all the monkey species can perform, flipping you off. Essentially a full fist grab. The power drop fooled all of the monkey species the vast majority of the time. So if you're trying to fool a monkey, you want to power drop them. You don't want a French drop. Throw that out the window. Yeah. Forget everything you know about French dropping a monkey. Pile drove the monkey. That's right. You got a tombstone. Yeah.

Quote. King hit the monkey in the back of the head. This podcast does not endorse King hitting monkeys in the back of the head. There is increasing evidence that the same parts of the nervous system used when we perform an action are also activated when we watch that action performed by others, said Professor Nicola Clayton, F.R.S. Senior. There's something to this by the fact that every time that you've described a hand or a hand motion, all three of the rest of us have put our hands up and try to understand what you're doing. I do feel like that this is horrible thor thor th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th of the rest of us have put our hands up and try to understand what you're doing. I do feel like that, and this is horrible because I chose the story to put on a podcast,

a podcast is the single worst format for describing the actions of a hand. It's really complicated. I've had a hard time holding this in Monogon. And for those listeners who have a Fantasia, grow up, it's fake. Just picture it. Just think about it. Just picture in your mind. Think about an image. Yeah, there it is. Done. I just pictured an apple and it looks amazing. It's right in front of me. I'm rotating it and everything. I'm even picturing what it would taste like. Professor, yeah, Professor Nicola Clayton, F.R. Senior author of the study from Cambridge's Department of Psychology, quote, this mirroring in our neural motor system might explain why

the French drop worked for the captions and squirrel monkeys, but not for Marmousets. Another co-author of the study, Clive Wilkins, artist in residence at Cambridge's department of psychology, is a professional magician and member of the Magic Circle. I don't like anything of that sentence. I hate every single bit of it. Is he a co-author of this study as not a scientist but as a magician? In his capacity as a magician? Did he call himself artists in residence even though he's just a PhD student? I don't, is he a PhD student? What's a member of the Magic Circle? Well, they're not allowed to talk about it, I don't think.

They demand to be taken seriously. I, I legit, I think if this is like one of those things, we have a poet who's helping to inspire our studies or whatever. They've brought this guy in as a magician, and now he's got his name on a bunch of these scientific studies, stealing scientific valor. You're not a scientist. You're not doing science. You're a con artist. You're a conning monkeys. Pass a coin between your hands for real, you lazy fuck. Grow up. Put your top hat down, put on a hard hat, go work in the mines or something. Whatever it is they do over in England. Here are some other studies that he has his name on, just if you were intrigued. This one is titled

Exploring the Perceptual Inabilities of European, sorry, Eurasian Jays using magic effects. That's the member of the Corvett family they were talking about I think. So this guy just goes around stunting on animals. Yeah, and gets funding. It gets funnined. He's like. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's th intrigued. th th th th th thi. It's thi. th th th th. th. th. thed. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just, thed. Just, the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I that we're talking about, I think. So this guy just goes around stonting on animals. Yeah. And it gets funding. It gets fun. I'm going to do this great scientific experiment. You guys are going to fucking lefficient.

You guys are going to fucking science. Does he have a Tick-tocke is what I want to know. Oh my, does he's he hea, he hea, he hea, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, he, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, he, he, he, does, does, does, does, he, he th. Does he th, he th, he th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, th, th. th. th. th. th. And, and, and th. And, and th. And, and, yeah, and th. And, and, and th. And, and th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, and, th. And, th. And, and, and th. And, and th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. th. And, th. And, th. will. I was like Cambridge magician. It feels very content driven like science. Oh, it does. God damn. Clive. Oh, actually we should all let's everybody Google images search for Clive Wilkins and let's see what he looks like. Oh. All right not a top hat, it's a bowler hat. Oh, we got that one wrong. Oh, and he's on quite a few podcasts. He's like an older man. Oh, oh, he's done a talk once called Conversations on Science, Magic and Society. Magic for non-humans.

He actually looks like quite a serious guy. He's older than I was picturing. I'll tell you that much for free. Oh, wow. Oh, he's written for the guardian. He's a real a... He's a real serious guy. Sorry. Wife guy. Clive, if you're listening. I can't believe... and you probably is. Sorry for slandering you. Here are some other stories he's done. Are magician specialists at identifying deceptive motion? The role of expertise in being fooled by sleight of hand. You think

because you're a magician you like better at knowing if someone's fooling you with sleight of hand. There's no other situation in my life where someone is deceiving me by sleight of hand. You're like, oh the guy who does the the ball and cup thing in the park can't get me. I'm safe because I'm magician training. I'm picturing this, up until we saw Clive's actual face, I'm picturing the one and only time I've actually seen a full magic show, which was for my friend Ruby's birthday several years ago, and her partner at the time hired a magician

like for many hundreds of dollars to do a live performance at her birthday party. And it was in the backyard, and he could not land a single trick. Every single trick, fucked up. So he did the classic like foam ball, like, it looks like one ball. Now it's three balls when I open my hand or whatever, but every time he'd do it he'd just fumble and all the

balls would just fall out of his head onto the crowd. And everyone was giving very like sympathetic sort of like, you can do it, buddy. Oh, it's worse. So much that. Which is worse than saying nothing. And I had to just like, I was just like trying to to to to to to to like to like to like to like to like to like to like to like to like to like to like th. th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like I had to just like I was just like trying to like make myself as small as possible to like disappear and just like left to go to the bathroom because I couldn't handle it it was fucking horror show like I just like I'm picturing this guy like trying to do to do magic tricks in front of a monkey but like not being able to land it fumbling it in front of a mama said yeah and then the the the the the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th. the the th. th. th. the monkey th. th. I to to like like like like like like like th. I was like to like. to like like like like like like. to like. to like. to like. to like. like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a monkey, but like not being able to land it. Fumbling it in front of a mama said. Yeah.

And then the monkey like feigns befuddlement just like, oh, that's all right. Oh, whoa, dude, nice. Oh, this is like great daughter, good man, great job. Like, monkey just be like, hey, hey, hey, you know what, I didn't even really feel like saying magic tonight. You know, maybe I just wanted to hang out. That's fine too. Let's just hang. I'm amazed.

It's times to marshmallow. Same pressure. Yeah, take these marshmallows outside. It's time to finally have that, okay, fire. He's got two more here. Could it be proto magic magic. animals resemble magicians misdirection. Yeah like if you're a magician probably everything looks magician related. So you're saying that animals are doing magic? They're sort of the first magicians. Animals.

And finally investigating expert performance when observing magic effects. I don't know what that means. I don't know. Pass the bong brother. Yeah. What a life though. You've gone into the most frivolous pursuit possible and now you're making a bunch of people take you quite seriously. You did it. Imagine meeting this guy to party. You know how much it sucks to have to tell people like that you have a podcast and like what it's about? And luckily you don't have to. Well, sometimes you do, you know? Sometimes it comes up and it's awful. But imagine that trying to explain like, no, I do like,

I'm a magician, but I do like science at Cambridge. My God. There's a lot of crossover between science and magic. Explain how that works. No. I'm a slashy, you know? I'm a swatchy. Model slash actor, slash, magician, slash, PhD candidate. You can really have it all. I'm actually not like super opposed to them having an artist in residence as long as it's just something that's not lame. Like they should just give Dinosaur Junior a PhD correct right like Davis research yeah Rifts or whatever yeah you know yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

hey Jmascus how do you still have depression it's been 40 years man get over now that that technically constitutes an episode of the podcast Buntavista Phoebe do you have anything to plug I do you have anything to plug? I do to do I do do the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their research research research their research their research their research research their research their research their research. their research. their research. their research. their research. their research. their research. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. I'm just just just just just just just just just just th. th. I th. th. th. I just just. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they just just just just just. their their just just just just. I just just. I just. an episode of the podcast, Buntavista, Phoebe, do you have anything to plug? I do, thank you so much for asking. Other than what I believe is the month of Playprol, where everyone should be supporting this amazing podcast. I also have on Saturday this weekend I am co-running a big fabulous party at the

Tivoli Theatre in Brisbane for the birthday party slash resurrection slash eulogy of the amazing fashion designer Vivian Westwood it's going to be an absolute gas and tickets are still available if you want to come along. Would love to see you there. We are, when I was at Netherworld on Monday night, which we're closed on Mondays, we just do ticket events. We had two people come to the door asking if they could just look at the art show that you had all nice. Just part of the Valley of everything, which, very nice. It was fucking delightful. Beautiful.

Phoebe and I would also like to plug that at some point this year we're doing Balf too. Can't tell you when? Can't tell you what the theme is. Can't tell you any details whatsoever, but I can tell you that we are planning, doing it again. That's right, baby. Real fucking excited. We've picked some very stupid movies. Yes, can be so good. Thank you so much for joining us. Theon Lucy, thank you for joining me. Oh, thank you so much.

I mean, I'm getting paid to be here. I just realized Lucy's frozen for me and that her face hasn't moved in a couple minutes. Yeah, me too. Yeah, oh no. She just looked really sad and thoughtful. Oh, so she's got an introspective. Bye. Bye, Lucy. Good to see you, babe. Heck, that looks great.

Bye, everybody. Thanks for joining us. You'll see ne next week? Bye. you know the today