Boonta Vista - EPISODE 300: Small Car On A Dildo Sea (LIVE!)

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

Recorded live on the internet, it's episode 300, the roughly 600th episode! It's a bit longer than a normal episode and a bit sillier than a normal episode. It features: The search for a single turd producer, two American gun mishaps, a series of dildo burglaries, and a Great American Hall of Name. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

I don't know. Hello and welcome to Bunta Vista, episode 300. I am Ben, and I am here at the Bunta Vista Academy of Comedy Podcast Accents, where our highly trained instructors deliver expert-level courses on a wide range of comedy accents covering every culture in the globe. Ian? Join me as we drop in on several classes already underway. Through the door up ahead, we can hear what surely must be the sound of a seal trying to speak English.

It is, of course, the sound of Andrew teaching a room full of students Dutch Accent 101. Hi, Andrew. Ja. Ja. Ja. This is the 101 where you start off, you've got to ease into it. You've got to start off with just European. Yeah, vaguely European.

The one accent we use for like 20 different countries in Europe. Yep. And you get two words. Ja. Ja. And hello. Cornerstone, the fundaments yeah and after you've really worked up for it for a while we will introduce you to the concept of of saying like the sh sound for everything yeah and that's that that's dutch yeah we're so fucking good at this. I actually think our Dutch accent has gotten worse over time. We've like

fallen into a groove of doing the accent we're doing and further away from trying to do Dutch. Yeah, I mean it absolutely, 1000% are the Swedish chef. Yeah. And we need to go back to that. Yeah. Swedish chef, the perfect Dutch accent. And thank you so much to our at least

three Dutch listeners. You guys are the most patient people on earth. Such good but what's this through the door up ahead we can hear some of the most beautiful articulate sounds ever produced by a human mouth why it must be theo giving a crash course on the comedy podcast french accent hi theo oh we uh you know i immediately I'm dreading this Because voice work is not my thing Oh, would we say that? You've got an audience now I know

You're on the spot It's live, baby Okay, hon hon hon Sorry I mean, that's textbook French Yeah And we wrote that textbook. Oui.

Have I said oui yet? And it costs $80. Okay. That's the second thing to say after hon. Yeah. Yeah. I love your French accent, Theo. I think it's really, really good.

I think all of the different ways it sounds throughout a sentence are equally as good. Maybe. Hold on. Let me see if I can help guide you through this for a second. Just close your eyes. Pretend nobody is watching the live stream of this episode. Now, transport yourself to beautiful Paris, France.

Imagine, if you will, you are wearing a rakishly cocked beret, a black and white striped shirt. You have a baguette under one arm, but a shopkeep in front of you has just opened a package of the stinkiest cheese you have ever smelled what would you say sorry my cigarettes so good can you just kill me and get this out of the way oh but wait there's a final door oh this door seems very special indeed oh no

while the other doors had a description of the class inside written on them in english this one appears to be written in kanji. This room could only be for one purpose and with only one possible instructor. That's right. It's Lucy giving a class in how to speak in Japanese with a comedy Australian accent. Starting with the example sentence,

my name is Lucy Valentine from the podcast Bunta Vista. Yep. Because you speak Japanese, Lucy. But in a, you want to, okay. Yeah. Lucy-san. Mm-hmm. Bunta Vista, Jess.

Mm-hmm. Iro shimasu. Perfect. Yep. And none of us have been racist. We did it. Yeah. Nailed it.

The first non-racist podcasters it's incredible yeah we're not racist and that's we're gonna keep saying that five to ten times an episode every episode we are not racist not playing playing like a klaxon every five minutes to confirm still not racist if you don't hear that blackson go off something terrible has happened there's been a problem there's been a huge problem uh welcome to episode 300 yeah episode 300 the roughly 600th episode of the podcast yep and that's because we we sat down and we thought about it really early in the piece we said hey we don't want to get caught out later on we don't want to get like uh we don't want to get all fucked up by numbers so let's figure out a great system right now for how we number these episodes and we did and it's gone perfectly yeah no one's

ever had difficulty filling in the wiki as a result nope we certainly haven't we haven't done like uh multiple bonus episodes in a row before doing another main episode and fucked up the ordering even further we haven't done that probably first step start at three yep yeah that's right from our third and first episode that's right that's how we like to do it around classic podcast numbering system it's like you know they don't have the the first floor is the ground floor in America, you know, and a podcast number three is number one. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like a triple jump at the Olympics, you know. How is that? They hit the ground three times before they do the jump. That's all I'm saying. Oh, okay. I've never really understood how triple jump works. You do a hop and then a skip and then you... Yeah, kind of a loping sort of thing

Yep Anyway, not racist, which is great news for us However, we are going to check in On one of the most racist countries Yeah It's there, not us I didn't exclude us From the most racist countries

I'm just saying We're all up there in the rankings. We might be on the podium if we keep it up. That's all I'm saying. It's time to check in on America. See what they're naming things. It's the Great American Hall of Fame. I clicked that once to get ready, and then it was going.

Perfect. You nailed it. Hang on. Do you always pre-click the icon once? Well, see, as I've... Line up a click. Just to prime it. As I have discussed many times, there are too many segments. Yes, it may be a rod that I've made for my own back.

I think so. I mean, it's just the right amount. I think you made a beautiful rod. Yep. So. I love your rod. On the normal soundboard thing that I use, there is roughly a thousand themes. And so while we're talking, I locate that one and I click it once so that it gets a highlight around it.

And I can locate it when I next look at the soundboard. There can't be that many. There can't be. There's what? How many themes have we got? I mean, I keep a list of them in our show notes document so that if I've run out of stuff to put in the show, I can remind myself what we talk about. And there's like 40 on that list. And it's not all of them because I have definitely missed some.

We have so fucking many. It doesn't help that we also have like multiple versions of the same song. Like there's Nature Corner. There's the theme for Nature Corner. corner there's the theme for nature corner then there's the horse themed nature corner for when it's a horse story then there's the monkey themed nature corner um there's the clipping report the shipping report the tipping report the tripping report the ripping report you know can i can i read you guys the list that I have in the document? I assume this is segments we've done more than once.

It's segments I intend to do again. Okay. That's how I would describe these. I have, this is in alphabetical order. The bad tweets roundup, balloonly speaking, bean to bar, Bernie bro down, hoe down. Probably not going to do that one again, actually. Boat watch, cousin shit, droidly speaking,

great American Hall of Name, headline news, insanely insanely speaking looks like menu is back on the menu mailbag mayor watch mystery liquid nature corner netherlands corner omens importance paging dr lucy plainly speaking po bodies nerf fictional bullshit scam watch shipping report smells that make you go huh tabloid phenomenon the egg report the whole report the one thing we didn't want to happen, the OCs, the pole report, the ripping report, the tipping report, the tripping report, what's been happening? We're in the wide world of warty, probably never happening again.

And finally, with a lead pipe. That's a lot more than I thought, actually. It's not even close to all of them. There's more of them than you think. Zoo Watch isn't on that list. What's That Smell isn't on that list. Zoo Watch? Yep.

What's That Smell isn't on that list? No, no, it is on that list. Oh, sorry, my bad. This is what keeps people coming back. It's the variety. God damn. It's just... You never know what you're going to get.

Soon this show will just be us listing off the segments that we used to have. And then finishing the show. Yeah. I think that's technically been an episode of the podcast for the semester. All right. the show yeah i think that's technically been an episode of the podcast for mr um all right so what i have here is i'm dipping my little bucket into my little pecker in there what are you putting your pecker in today i'm putting my bucket back into a well from which i have drawn the water of names before okay um i can't remember what episode it was all i remember is that tom was on this episode the last time i did this is from graduating classes of yale uh between 19 i think the 1950s and the

1980s hopefully there's no overlap between these two lists but i can't remember any of them but fingers crossed in no particular order, here we go. Remington Corpor. Fine. Parker Coddington. So American. Holroyd Kurtz. What's that first name?

Holroyd. Holroyd. That's right. Holroyd. All right. Okay. What's that dude? Sorry, I thought you said something stupid. No.

This is legions you get if you spend too much time in the Star Trek holodeck. You get Holroids. Oh, no. I got all backwards then. I was thinking about that guy who's in a bunch of stuff. Boyd Holbrook? Unfamiliar. Great name though.

He's in Logan. He's in Logan if that helps. Doesn't. Okay. Littleton Long. Grow up. Come on. That's...

Moral Healed. Hamilton Smizer. Harrison Butterworth. FW Dowd Bangle. I gotta know what the FW stands for. There's no way of knowing. It's fuck wizard. I bet it's good.

Fuck wizard. Sainsbury Strack. Fenton Babcock Stokely Webster Grevis Melville None of these have been a real first name yet. Grevis. All surnames all around. G-R-E-V-I-S

Grevis. Grevis? Accident,V-I-S. Grevis. Grevis? Accident, like getting it wrong. Or Grevis? Getting it wrong when you spell your... Maybe Grevis. General Grevis. Gibbons Ash.

Get the fuck out of here. You get your pet ape cremated with your Gibbons Ash. McClure caps. Pearl chimes. Sorry, pearl chimes? Pearl chimes. I like it. Beautiful.

That is a real thing you could own. Oh, actually, this is relatively special. There are women on this list. Usually the car, through no intent of my own, it's almost entirely male. They are, huh? Systemic. It's patriarchy. Look the ladies in.

Look, I want to walk back to what I said a second ago. I think that Pearl Chimes would not really sound great. They'd just sort of go tacky. Yeah, little clicks. They'd be clunky. I'd probably like that more than Wind Chimes. This has been Pearl Chimes, Chad. Yeah, if we're wind chimes. This has been pearl chimes. Yeah, if we're choosing chimes.

If you wanted a position on chimes. This is our chimes position. It's got to be wind for me. Chime chat. Bro, can I just get your chimes position real quick? Can you add chime chat to that list of segments real quick? No, we cannot. Patience clap.

Oh, no, sorry. I got that one wrong. Patience Clap Oh, no, sorry, I got that one wrong Patience Clop Wynne Taplin Okay, there's just so many Where you just go That's an arrangement of syllables Yeah, we're just rolling through the sounds That we have now

Yeah, you know like the fucking annoying scene In the one annoying scene in Garden State? Yeah. The headphone one? No, where Natalie Portman's character goes, sometimes I like to just make a noise that nobody's ever made before. Is that a real thing that she says?

I don't think I've seen the movie. Dude, like watch it if you want to immediately go into a four-week depression. I swear to fucking God, there is an episode a couple of hundred back where you, Lucy, specifically said you didn't mind Garden State, the movie. No, no, you're thinking of 500 Days of Summer. Oh, you're right. I can see where you got those mixed up.

But, Lucy, watch that movie if you just want to die instantly although no i think actually maybe it should make you feel good that uh that like there are all kinds of creative pursuits that will get greenlit and filmed at some point i don't know but like brutally bad anyway my point is a lot of these names sound like someone just trying to arrange syllables in a way that hasn't been done before. You've put the screens in a way that I can now see the chat and I'm getting very upset from the several people. They've been like, actually not that bad.

You have the taste of a child. Don't be... Compliment from TK Donut on the podcasting jacket. I can't. I'm blocking out the chat for youing jacket. I can't. Finally. I'm walking out of the chat for you, Ben.

Thank you very much. I can't be dealing with that. I like the edit where she puts on the headphones and it's just diarrhea sounds. That's all I'll ever think of, guys. I did a lot of those a little while ago. There was the Steven Seagal solo. Douglas Sprunt. Sounds like some rhyming slang.

Yeah, that was what I was thinking. You're right, Douglas. You're being a real Douglas about this, mate. Archibald Prisk. Okay. Archie Prisk. Florence Glidewell. Yeah.

Does she? Free lead. Man, that's a compliment, Florence. Gertrude Noise. Did you guys just hear a Gertrude Noise? What's that sound like? Alberto Ferrari. Pimp. That's a guy I'd Alberto Ferrari. Pimp.

That's a guy I'd like to be friends with so fucking bad. That's your made-up boyfriend's name. Goddamn. Yeah, I went to Europe for the summer. My boyfriend? Alberto Ferrari. Yeah, I met a guy. Alberto Ferrari.

The Alberto Ferrari. You have never seen Tuscany until you've seen Tuscany with Alberto Ferrari. You have never seen Tuscany until you've seen Tuscany with Alberto Ferrari. Alberto Ferrari looking at you and saying, let me show you my Italy. Alberto Ferrari looking at you and saying, please, step into my Fiat. You think he drives a Fiat? Yeah, hop on the back of my Moped.

500. Herbert Sultan. He's my other made-up holiday boyfriend. Gene Stoner. Yes. I'm going to hang out with that guy. Listen to him. The denim stoner.

Mary Jane Scriggins. That's fucking hell. I love when Americans are called, like, Scriggins and Scruggins. Like, it's a normal name to have. Like Walton Goggins. What a name. Walton Goggins is an all-time name. And he looks like it. He's allowed to, though.

He looks like a Walton Goggins. He has the mouth of a Goggins. The Gogsman. He does. Edgar Bogardus. Robert Blood. Bobby Blood. Miriam Gore.

Oh, no. F. Brainerd Bridgman. Thorvald F. Hammer. Thorvald, maybe. Hammer. Yeah. Thor Hammer, as we call him for short. Otto Flans

Junior. Can you spell that last name for me? I would love to. It's got more letters than you'd think. Oh. That surname is spelled P-F-L-A-N-Z-E. Flans. Not what I expected. Flanser? Flanser Junior.

Okay. Flans. Not what I expected. Flanser, perhaps. Flanser, junior. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to pronounce this the way that I would like to pronounce it the first time, and then we can have a group discussion around the way you think it should be pronounced. Julio Orifus. How are you pronouncing it any differently? I think Julio. think it's Julio. It's probably Julio. I see the confusion.

No. This name is spelled G-I-E-U-L-E-O. All right. Julio? Julio. The surname is spelled O-R-E-F-F-I-C-E. Orofiche? Is this manC-E. Orofiche? Is this man's name Giulio Orofiche?

Probably. Or is it Giulio Orofice? I'd be calling him Giulio Orofice either way. I'd be saying, what's up? It's the G-hole. Here he is. There he is. This one I think there's only one way to pronounce.

E. Llewellyn Queener. Okay. Like E letter for the first name. Yes, correct. Llewellyn, spelled Llewellyn, like 70 L's. And then Queener, Q-U-E-N-E-R. It's a good drag name. Yeah.

E. Llewellyn Queener. Waldo Glock. Fuck yes. That man got the strap, but where is it? No safety. F Kingsley Elder Jr. Excellent. Elder Jr., that's a nice comment.

I think you could cancel those two terms out. Yeah, he's just F Kingsley, I think. Should we get some Kingsleys while you're here, while you're in town? Some Kingsleys chicken? Yeah, get it. I would love to get some Kingsley's while you're here? While you're in town? Some Kingsley's chicken? Yeah, get it. I would love to get some Kingsley's chicken with you. Fuck yeah. The Canberra franchise, baby.

Irving Cornblut? It's a German name. It means corn blood. I think it actually is Cornblut. Which is blut as in blood. I don't know. Anyway, I have four more for you here in advance.

I'm telling you, grow up. Norris Woody. George Dix. Yes. Richard Sterling, known to his friends as... Dick Silver. Dick Silver. Richard Sterling. And finally, friends as... Dick Silver. Dick Silver. Richard Sterling.

And finally, I have Richard Goodwillie. No. I mean, whatever. That's a normal... Yeah, Dick Goodwillie? That's not true. That's my friend Dick Goodwillie. The worst cock you've ever seen.

Oh. Crikey. Hey, what comes out of the penis? What comes out of the worst cock you've ever seen? That's right, folks. It's time for Mystery Liquid. Mystery Liquid. Can't tell what color it is. No, it's like really weird cum.

It's still cum, I guess. It's cum, but it's the colour of Mountain Dew. No smell. Is that not normal? Have you ever seen Mountain Dew out of the bottle? I'd say my cum is a weird colour. I don't know how different these levels are. I'm gonna taste the mystery liquid. Oh, folks, this comes to us from motherfucking WCMH in Ohio.

The Wacombe. Yep. Rolls off the tongue. Ohio residents sought by scientists may have had cryptic COVID strain for two years. Oh. As soon as you're in the news and it says sought by scientists after your name,

something has happened. The guys in the lab really want to talk to you. If I hear sought by scientists. I'm picturing E.T. and they put him in the tube. They're putting him in the tube from E.T. They're looking for this guy and Bruce Banner. That's about it.

Viral researchers believe someone in Central Ohio if you are listening to this from Central Ohio maybe you. It could be you. It could be you. Look to your left.

Look to your right. If neither of those people have been infected with COVID-19 for at least two years, maybe you've been infected with COVID-19 for at least two years. Could it be you? And they are hoping to find that person. They've had a two-year covet 19 infection this is just such a like a double whammy of like not only have you had covet for two years which fucking sucks but also now you're in the news for having covered like you was one person hey everyone this guy got too sick this guy's extra nasty stay away from him while the researchers believe there is no threat to

public health they hope this case holds much needed answers to treating long covid brother they are gonna dice you up you're in the tube oh you're in the tube you're going in the et tube but they're into the rabies blender i'm so sorry they're gonna put you in the rabies blender then they're putting you in the centrifugal thing, they're splitting you out and all your different plasmas. Yeah. They're dipping pinkies in that taste in it. They're saying, ooh, that's not good.

But you won't be there to hear it. This guy's had it for two years. Are we learning what not to do? Yeah. That seems fine though. How not to cure COVID? Maybe you can have it forever. He's living. I think they want to put him into a big incinerator. That's what I think it's fine, though. How not to kill COVID? Maybe you can have it forever. He's living. I think they want to put him into a big incinerator.

That's what I think. Maybe. So they hope there's much needed answers during long COVID. Molecular virologist, Dr. Mark Johnson. That's podcasting. I can do my list of names too. A microbiology professor at the University of Missouri's medical school spent much of his career studying HIV.

That changed in early 2020 when Missouri health officials asked him to lead the state's wastewater sampling program. Fun. Yummy. Have we got a job for you. There's a hot new virus in town and it's in the diarrhea. Dip your pinky into this

and tell me what you think. So they're doing a wastewater sampling program to help track COVID outbreaks. At the time, Johnson said there was not much data available on the genetic material

of the virus. I need more diarrhea. Quote. There was no protocol established at that point for sequencing sequencing SARS-CoV-2 from wastewater, so I developed my own, Johnson said.

Everyone around him looking really uncomfortable. I bought my own for home as the virus evolved into different variants like delta and omicron sequencing its genetic material helped identify which strains were more prevalent in different areas that's when johnson discovered what he calls cryptic strains or cryptics. That sounds, he's making it sound really cool. Yeah, he is. He's making it sound pretty close to cryptid.

He's making it sound like a rare Yu-Gi-Oh card. Yeah. One where you've got to scratch off the front to see what's in there. Cryptics have a certain pattern. There are certain mutations that they regularly accumulate that are not in a circulating lineage johnson said johnson found these unique versions of the virus would linger in one wastewater system for a period of time and then suddenly disappear at first he could not understand why these mutated sequences weren't spreading even in densely populated areas like New York City. Hey, I'm mutating here. Yeah. I'm so

excited to play that. I don't want to call it yet. That seemed close, but I don't know if that's it. No, I don't think so. We haven't actually discussed what's happening, Theo. Is it that you're going to decree someone the comedian of the week? No, no, no.

No, no, no. Just as you normally would. I think we all know. Just organically. Yeah. We just know when it happens. All right. I'm just saying you're going to flag with me when you need me to punch that button.

No, no, no, no, no. You guys announce it as you normally would. Okay. We'll fall naturally into it. Quote, I thought it was coming from the rats simply because I couldn't think of anything else that had enough mass in the sewer shed. You know how crazy you sound right now? That's so crazy.

It's coming from the rats. It's got to be rats. The virus comes and goes, but get this. What if there were rats in the diarrhea and they had COVID? What if the rats got special diarrhea COVID? That's a very New York approach. It's probably the rats. Theo, if we had names for variants like Delta and Omicron

and then we identified a diarrhea-borne strain, what are we calling that bad boy? That's... Fuck, what are they? So Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, Omicron. Crapper. Like Kappa. Yeah, nice.

Yeah. That's it. Oh! I thought it was coming from the rats, Johnson said. We've tested more rat feces than I care to remember. He dipped his pinky into so many little rat turds. He's fucking doing the eternal sunshine treatment to get rid of his rat feces testing memories.

Rat memories. I don't want to think about which rat feces I've tested. Not anymore. I want those memories to go away. The rat fecal tests were negative. It's unfortunate. If I had tested more rat feces

than I care to remember, I'd kind of want something to come of it. Good news for the rats, though. Yeah, no COVID. I'll be asking for my turds back. As sequencing became more common in sewer systems across the United States, Johnson started looking at publicly available data.

A cryptic in Wisconsin led to Johnson's next discovery. These sequences might be linked to just one person or very big rat. What if it's a rat king? This is genuinely insane that he is testing all of the wastewater from a town or whatever. He's chasing one dude across the country

by testing all this shit. He's testing like it's like a ghost in the machine i don't understand how they must be testing large enough volumes of turds that one person's turds keep coming through and they're like we got him again here he is we we tested six liters of turd and 90% of it is from one guy. Isn't it just, aren't the turds combined in the sewer? Are they separate? How much is this turd?

One turd come down the toilet and like shoots out and he can just grab that one. It's a big shitty slurry, surely. I don't think they're plucking out an individual perfectly formed turd. They're like, my God, we've got another one of his. Plus it all goes in the mix master at the end, right? Like they've got the big round thing. Kitchen aid, yeah. I think they're, yeah, they're getting like a really big turd out.

The turd pool. You know how when they're mining. Hey, Ben. Get in there. Okay. You know when they're mining, they do like a core sample? Yeah. Yeah, what if they find a big shit, just one,

and they do that with it? I guess you're only sampling one shit. Yeah, it's still a turd. Like a turd biopsy? Yeah. I think it's more like a turd core sample for, yeah, you're getting the strata of the various geological eras throughout that turd.

Count the rings on that turd. Yep. Quote, we started tracking it, Johnson said, like one of the guys from Predator. So we started from the main treatment plant of over 100,000 people

and sort of like checked all the lines. That's not what I want to hear from a scientist. Science baby. I don't know, we sort of fucking looked at a couple of them or whatever. We like checked it or whatever. And all of them, only one of the lines had the lineage. And so we would

just keep going, checking all of the pieces of the web, figuring it out, following it up, until the line that we got to a single manhole. So they're doing, like, branch checking? Yeah, we're tracking this turd like the CIA. Like to one toilet? Doing a phone call.

One area? One manhole. We just needed the shit for another two months. Serving like, keep him on the line. Keep him on the toilet. We've got to triangulate the shit. them on the line yeah keep them on the toilet we got to triangulate this shit this is i just can't imagine being on the receiving end of this and finding out that a bunch of scientists have been trying to find specifically where your shit is coming from

yeah bro there's a task force after you by the way you definitely need to change your diet so they narrowed it down to a single manhole. That manhole actually only got waste from one place. That's not how pipes work. Wait, Theo, wait. Come on. It only got waste from one place, which was a company that had about 30 employees. So they've narrowed it down.

They've really localized it. Yeah, from 100,000 buttholes to 30. How can they not find this guy? I'm imagining an episode of The Office. Hey, we've got some visitors. We just need everyone to shit into a cup. Oh, my God. Michael Scott would say something so funny about this.

He would. That is so true. And the other guys? I think ideally, Jim, he'd look at the camera probably. Oh, you got to check what? I don't actually know what the camera is. Where's the camera? Sorry.

30 employees, 30 cups. And if you listen to the audio version. If you're listening to the audio, we found the camera. Johnson said the trail went cold. Disgusting. I got an ice cold turd here, bro. He's holding it up to his cheek.

God damn it. Johnson said the trail went cold after two-thirds of the employees of the wisconsin company agreed to be tested for covid with nasal swabs what's that gonna do for you no not the nose he might only have two year covid in his arsehole that's how they're tracking him wouldn't you want maybe it's arsehole. That's how they're tracking him. Maybe it's arsehole COVID. He has an arse COVID.

Two thirds of the company agreed to be tested for COVID with nasal swabs and all of the tests came back negatory. Sounds like you've narrowed it down to ten people. A third of the company, yeah. While he and his colleagues spent months studying the cryptic strain

and gaining approval to collect stool samples from the employees. The strain vanished. They spent months gaining approval to collect stool samples? Imagine. Can we just ask them? Come on. I'm picturing. Give us a turd.

Give me a single fucking turd. I think they've been given access to the company, right? They're in the office. And they've already to like the first 20 people and got it and then like management has just let them hang out and say look no for real if you could just i've got a special bag you put it over the the toilet and then you put the seat down you you shit in the bag i'll take care of the rest honestly you don't even have to bring it out to me you just come out of the toilet and say i'm done i'll go in and deal with the rest trust me i've tested enough rat shit to not even worry about your shit i think

i'd rather test the ratchet than human shit i'd way rather test the ratchet why does human shit smell so much worse than all the other stuff it It's probably more human shit than rat shit. I think if a rat turd was the size of a human turd, it would smell unbelievably bad. Maybe. But you pick up your dog shit, right? Yeah, it smells terrible. Would you pick up my shit?

We're geared evolutionarily to hate the smell of it, right? That's the way our whole shit is set up. But we did evolve to love the smell of rat turds. Yes. Because of the nutrients they contain. Lucy, quick question. Do you ever have to pick up Winston's poops? No, that's none of my business.

I'm a heretic to that dog. He's not my son. Big fuck you to Winston. His turds are not my business. And there are so many. He does turds the size of a human shit. And I don't understand. He's so small. He's so small. He gets a normal the size of a human shit. And I don't understand. He's so small.

He's so small. He gets a normal dog amount of food and then he does human-sized turds in the backyard. I don't think you should do that. Yeah. Can you imagine? You should kill him with a sword. Don't kill Winston.

Dude, I'd love to slice him in half with a sword. Oh, count his rings. The Punta Vista Society for the Protection and Care of Winston is real. I believe he should be cherished. Can you imagine as they're getting to the end of those months when they've got the people who are sort of flat out

denied because of what, like privacy concerns or whatever. No, no, no, I don't want to submit to any of your tests. You've been in that office. You've been embedded at this fictional, I mean, this real Dunder Mifflin or whatever. And you're like... We're all picturing Dunder Mifflin. Yeah, it's Dunder Mifflin at this point.

And they're hanging out being like, hey, let's get some after work drinks. We've never really chatted before. You know what? It's my shout. I'm here on government money. I got a little bit of cash. Let's go down to Fucky's Bar and Grill. Uh-huh.

And they've got- Buttfuckers. Buttfuckers. To Ruth's Buttfuckers, they've got $5 shot in a beer between the hours of 3 and 12, because that's what happy hour is. And then after, like, 20 drinks, you're like, hey, come on. We're friends now. We've told each hey, come on. We're friends now.

We've told each other all these stories. We're so close. Give me your turds. Shift in the jar. Give me your fucking turds. Any chance you can palm me a turd? Can't crack him. Just give me one turd.

Just ordering a bunch of mozzarella sticks and being like, you look like you need to go to the toilet there. Yeah. Sorry, I just... I know that we said we weren't going to look at the chat, but we got a few things we got to address here. Number one, somebody asked for a Winston reveal, and I would say follow the new Bunta Vista TikTok account.

Right, Lucy? Mm. You get to say ghastly, ghastly based. Well, although we got a super exclusive video the other day of Winston trying to walk under a clothes drying rack and getting caught on it and confused. So that was pretty cool. Oh, that made me cry.

He's not smart. He's not a smart man. Hey, Theo, imagine Winston getting hit with the thing from the cell where they slice the horse into all the pieces. Or is it a cow? It's a cow. It's a horse. A horse.

Definitely a horse. It's a horse. Anyway, Dog Hug says, from my experience in having IBS, they give you a little jar with a spoon built onto the lid and they tell you to put cling wrap over your toilet bowl and shit onto that is that literally how you get it oh that sounds yucky that's so nasty can't they just make the toilet catch it i think also just while while we are actually um look at the chap no i was just i

was just gonna say there's been a lot of there's been a lot of apparent confusion about who is who and maybe just while we're here for a second ben is wearing the hat yeah if you are confused ben is wearing the hat write that down on your palm ben hat ben hat andrew dripped out well because like i had to change to change the temperature on my smoker outside quickly on my phone i was wondering what the fuck you were doing. And somebody in the chat said, live Theo distraction. So if you think I'm Theo, I'm not Theo. No, no, no. I was getting a message from my wife on the phone.

Oh, okay. So you were distracted. Yeah, guilty. Did you just say you're using your smoker app? Yeah, yeah. He has a little Wi-Fi antenna on his smoker. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's connected to my house.

There's Wi-Fi. That can change the temperature. It's fucked up what you just said. I'm making some pulled pork for Ben. Don't you want Ben to be well fed? Yeah. I do. I do want him to be well fed.

Don't you want that for me? I want him to be porked. Thank you. I'm getting porked at Andrew's house. Lucy, you're the best. I'm promising that I would. Yeah. I've been soaking my beans overnight.

Yeah, soaking your beans ready to pork. It makes it so much better if you've been soaking your beans for a couple of hours and then you pork. And then you do it. Ooh. You've got to soak your beans. Making some refried beans, bro. I'm learning so much.

Anyway, we got distracted. Let's get back to talking about big pieces of shit. Yeah, that's right. We're back to Australian politics. Am I the Budavista Committee of the Week? You're the Budavista Committee of the Week. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Did you work hard on this one?

This was Theo. So he's been laughing about it all day. It just goes on like this. I have to. I have to. Shut the fuck up. There is absolutely no way you played that entire thing on a sequenced fart sound, right? You get them in like different notes for the farts. Okay, so I got this keyboard. All you do is you put a fart on one of the keys and then it comes with Ableton.

I'm still learning it. I don't know if you guys realize that. And then it sequences the fart? Absolutely. It samples it and then I have to it. I don't know if you guys realise that. And then it sequences the fart? Absolutely. It samples it and then I have to hit... I gotta hit... I gotta learn the keys. We could be sequencing farts together. You didn't even do it as like

like a MIDI? Like you just drew it. You didn't draw it in the automation window? You actually played it live on the keys? Did you have to learn that? That's dedication. That's dedication. Holy Christ. No, honey, I can't help with the kids.

Daddy's busy. Ben, you are the Bunta Vista comedian of the week. Congrats. It's never felt so good. Right? Never felt so pure. Back to that guy with COVID tats. Johnson said the trail went cold after two-thirds of the employees

agreed to a test. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The strain vanished. We don't know why. Either they left the job or got better or are in remission. We don't know. Can you be in remission from COVID? From two-year COVID?

Yeah. Yes, sir. But we're still monitoring it. I will never stop touching and testing shit. Still from the article. And we've actually now gotten started collecting stool

samples from the company. Hassled them for long enough. Just hung out in the parking lot. As people are going into the office. Are you going to free shits? Come on! From the company is very funny because it makes it sound like it's gone. You're not going

directly to the employees. The employees have given it to the company. The company is giving them to you in an esky of turns. I need you to change your HR policy. It's their toilet. You never know where those things are going. Technically, if the company owns the toilets you're shitting in, you have no control over the shit.

You have no control. Once they're in the bowl, they are no longer your turds. Yeah, which is also true of like any business you've ever been in. McDonald's has your turds. Your boss there in the cubicle saying, check your contract, bitch.

That's right. If you're not paying, you're the product. Yes. You know? If you're not paying, you're the product. Yes. You know? If the toilet's free, they're doing data collection on your terms. This spring. Sounds like a movie trailer.

This spring, Johnson found another cryptic in Columbus's sewer shed. He said the same sequence appeared in Washington Courthouse and has a lineage that predates the Delta variant, the strain most prevalent in the summer of 2021. Dude, a lot of people are just kind of living with the COVID thing now. I don't know how much you need to be fiendishly tracking shits across the country like Tommy Lee Jones and the fugitive. It's not infecting anyone else. I don't care. I don't care.

Can't keep getting away with this. Johnson believes that this indicates that someone has been carrying and shedding the COVID virus for more than two years. I think that's a typo. Someone's been shitting the COVID virus. And farting. Yeah. Yeah.

He went as far as to predict that this person lives in Columbus and commutes to Washington Courthouse for work. Oh my God. This like narrows it down to not, like probably a hundred or so people. Like how many like full-time courthouse employees could there possibly be there?

Yeah, but if you're going into work and shitting every day, you can't be that unwell. Maybe it's fine to have COVID for two years. Some people know. Some people love it. Having COVID or shitting? Some people love shitting in the office.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was talking to my brother on the phone the other day. I'm talking about like working from home. So we've moved into a new house that is bigger than our old house. And I was saying that like we were talking about, I guess, capitalism.

And I was saying, yeah, working at home all the time. I spend a lot less time in the toilet. I'll tell you that. That's true. A lot less of that 30 minutes of just sitting in there and going oh how many hours until i get to get on the fucking tram take your switch in don't yep take to the toilet anything with it no take your switch in take it in get yourself like just just get a box of antibacterial wipes on your desk

and then come back to your desk. Make a big show of wiping down the Switch. You don't need to wash your hands. You play the Switch until you've shitted. Then you pack the Switch up away, put it in your backpack that you took to the toilet

with you because you're prepared. You're smart, right? Then you wipe. Now you because you're prepared. You're smart, right? And then you wipe. Now you've made first contact. You're just picking up your backpack from the desk. We'll see you guys later. Just go to the bathroom. Travis in the live chat says that Kindles fit in your hip pocket. They can.

Okay. The concern is not your hands. It's aerosolized shit particles. But they're going on you. But you're in there anyway, bro. Are you washing your whole body? You're already in there. Your face is in there.

I wash my whole body every day. You're not like blasting a chamber, though. It's not like a... Ben goes into the toilet at the bar. I assume you shit during the day like any of us. No, I only shit at home. Really? Yeah, more or shit at home. Really? Yeah, more or less, yeah.

That's fucked up. That is fucked up. That's actually the most fucked up thing. You have a choice. I get to choose where to shit. I get to choose where I go to the toilet. Fucking get him. This is what I'm getting attacked for.

Some of us are living with like 30-second warning. Yeah, Theo. I'm always getting grief from my wife about this. It's now or fucking never. I genuinely think something's happened from being at home all the time where like my body is like, oh, I can get to a toilet whenever. So I'll just flag it with you, you know, and like now I can't be commuting. I can never go back to that.

Yeah, what if you need to shit? Yeah, I'll just be blasting it out on the fucking highway. Could be commuting. I can never go back to that. Yeah. What if you need to shit? Yeah. I'll just be blasting it out on the fucking highway. No, thank you. Jesus. Why are you looking up the Washington courthouse in Ohio? Are you trying to see how many people went there? I saw that someone in the chat had been like,

Washington courthouse is actually the name of a town in Ohio. Oh, that's fucked up. Which is true. But also. What? How the fuck are we supposed to know that there is a town in ohio called washington courthouse not a name for a town that's not the name of a town if anything america is wrong we are correct we're talking about a fucking courthouse i'm just

gonna say that's the name of a courthouse yeah Yeah, I agree. Jesus Christ. They need to do over. What the fuck is wrong with that place? So a whole town, like that's barely narrowing anything down. Yeah, it's 14,000 people. You're not getting anywhere with this shit, bro. But it's someone that lives in Columbus and commutes to the town of Washington Courthouse. You got to know, if that's your husband or something, you know who it is and you're hiding a fugitive. If you work in Washington Courthouse and you know someone

who's driving there from Columbus, check their turds. Yeah. Can I have your turds, bro? I have to take them to a scientist I read about. He's passionate. Hey, just do me a solid. Yeah, a solid one would be preferable, yeah. Don't flush. don't flush.

No, there's a problem with the toilets. I heard about a scientist on this podcast I listen to. So, grandma, you turds. I heard about a scientist from a podcast I listen to reading a news article that mentioned him. Quote. I just know that they regularly shed into both sewer sheds often on the same day johnson said so they're regular i also want to they're doing twofers i'm really wondering at

this point if uh the people at the shit testing factory get like any kind of media training to say oh just swap in the word shed yeah if it was me i would be saying i gotta get a hold of this guy's fucking nasty shits yeah i gotta get a hold of his dookies yeah johnson stressed that this is not a threat to public health it's just a passion of his it It's really weird to be like, it's perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong with him. Nah, it's definitely a guy. I'm just curious. Nothing to learn.

You're not hurting anyone else. You're not hurting yourself. I just really fucking want to talk to you. Knowledge is its own reward. Yes. There's like the Zodiac guy getting slowly driven mad By his obsession

Oh find him He's got that board with the Thread and everything he's gone nuts in there Absolutely I think that Moby Dick would be a really different book If it was about one guy trying to find another guy's Pieces of shit Yeah for one

I think any book would benefit from that plotline pieces of shit. Yeah, for one, they probably don't have all that stuff on the boat. Any book would benefit from that plotline. I need a crew to drive to Ohio. It's not a threat to public health. They explain that the virus is inactive once it passes through the gastrointestinal tract. If you, I'm pointing at the camera now,

if you frequently commute between Columbus and Washington Courthouse, a fucking town. Ridiculous. Idiots. Idiots. You can email Johnson at mark, M-A-R-C, johnson at missouri.edu. Now, I want to stress to our listeners,

do not all email mark't leave this guy alone it's not a picture of your turn from the toilet it's not something you do for fun it's not like when i posted the that photo of the real estate agent whose name was jesse sharing and so it looked like jesse's herring like marine biologist of the show, Jesse. And then someone texted him saying, you should check out Buenavista. But he's a real estate agent, so he's not a real person. No, that's true. That's fine.

Kind of potato there. Get him. A spokesperson for the Ohio Department of Health said that health officials are not fully convinced that the cryptic strain is linked to only one person. And they are not investigating it because it poses no threat to public health. This is Moby Dick. It's one man's obsession. Everyone's like... Everyone else is like, stop.

Give it. Who cares? You are being performance managed right now. We can leave that whale alone. There are a million other whales out there. We have so much other work to do. There are so many other fucking whales and the other whales are an actual problem.

Leave that whale alone. You haven't answered anybody else's email in two years. You know? Goddamn. That's wild stuff. I hate to pull back the curtain but I will.

I was really worried. Let's pull back. It's open. They're open, those curtains. I was very concerned that I hadn't put together enough content for this episode.

We've done one story, so it's all good. Or two. We did two. We're doing so great. This is tremendous. Yeah. We're so good at podcasting.

Oh, I'm on to my second beer, baby. Oh, yeah. I'm just trying to figure out if we need a beer delivery we've had two beers and a bourbon at this point yeah now you

are you done with beer for the rest of your life oh from Columbus Ohio all the way around the globe and back again to Columbus Ohio it's time

I didn't even realize yeah i thought you absolutely had done that on purpose no it's time for the clipping report so good So good. From WBNS News, the Woobamans in Columbus, Ohio. The Woobines. They're Woobines. What if the W was silent? The Beans. Witness describes moments man accidentally shot himself at Columbus movie theater.

Hey, guys, how many times have you been in a movie theatre and someone in there shot themselves? Like I don't think I've ever had a gun be discharged inside a movie theatre I was in. Unlike bloody Abraham Lincoln, I should have just said theatre.

He wasn't in a movie theatre, he was watching a play. He could have been watching movie theatre. He was watching a play. He could have been watching a movie. And I don't know if he really heard it because he was sort of... Did he die instantly? No. Oh. God, I'd love to die instantly. Yeah, they spent a good lot of time trying to, like,

scoop the ball out and stuff. They had those really terrible slow bullets back then. Yeah. It just looked like a lead sinker. It travelled at about 10 kilometres an hour. But they also had softer heads, so it kind of panned out. That's true.

They hadn't discovered calcium yet. Yeah. No fluoride in their water. Yeah. Fluoride makes your skull stronger, as far as I understand it. They've been paid by the government to tell you this. Stronger teeth, less racist.

A local college student who asked not to be identified said he and a group of his friends were excited to see Spider-Man across the Spider-Verse at Phoenix Theatre's Atlantic Town Centre 24 Saturday night. As they were walking into the theatre, he said they were stopped in their tracks. Yeah, by a bloody guy asking if they'd brought outside snacks

into the cinema. Am I right? Am I right? I don't think that's happened to me since I was like... Yeah, genuine question. When was the last time anybody got hassled? I think I was 13. I assume it happens to teenagers because imagine... Everyone thinks... Imagine if you went to the movies and a teenager tried to ask you what was in your bag.

Yeah. You'd just be like, hey, Brandon? Your mum. Step the fuck off before I give you a swift Canadian destroyer into this patent carpet in the movie theatre. Hey, Brandon, you look mid to me. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Your fit is low-key mid. So maybe step the fuck me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your fit is low-key mid. So maybe step the fuck off. Yeah. Look behind you, Ben. There's two new beers there. Oh, my God.

A child just delivers beers? No, it was my wife. We have a very firm. She got the kids to do it. We have a very firm responsible policy in this house that my children cannot go and get my beer for me. Or, yeah, me and Eleanor were on the couch

the other night and she was like, she was like, oh, I need another glass of wine. And my daughter was standing up and we were both like, no. No, you can't. It's such a bad, like, no. It's not a good look. You can't do it. There's no way.

Mummy's happy juice. Mummy's happy juice. Mummy's happy juice. Please don't ever say that to me. Mummy's feeling a little sad. You know what would make her really happy? Is another glass of Tempranillo, but not like a standard 150ml pour. No, that's ridiculous. Get a large glass.

The glass is large. The glass is large. The glass is large. The largest wine glass I've ever seen in my life. Letting it breathe, Ben. So important. So important. It's not the biggest wine glass that we've seen. Can you get a whole bottle of wine into it, Lucy?

One of those comical ones. Yeah. Like a joke one that you'd get like a woman on her 40th. Yeah. Yeah. A local college student, blah, blah, blah, stopped in his tracks. Quote, we just hear this pop and it's like, the best way to explain it

is like someone exploding a chip bag Is that what it sounds like? A gun going off? They don't give you like ear protection if you're like, gotta pop a bag of chips yeah yeah they should apparently everyone was really confused what was going on the witness said the witness said he then saw a man stand up and leave the theater along with two children who were by his side can you imagine the unbelievable combination of shame and self-control it must take to accidentally shoot yourself and then instead

of screaming kids we gotta go instead of me like i me like, I've been shot. You just go, get up. Get the fuck right up. Get in the Plymouth. Get in my Oldsmobile 442. Just real British levels of not wanting to disturb anybody. Can't make a scene. Kids, kids, kids, get in the PT Cruiser.

Get in the PT Cruiser. Come on. Come on. Literally like bleeding out because you shot yourself in the thigh kids kids kids getting the pt cruiser getting the pt cruiser come on come on literally like bleeding out because if you shot yourself in the thigh and you've not made a single noise i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine you've not alerted anyone around you that you need medical attention you've just stood up and walked out with your two kids i am i i have a lot of interesting conversations with my parents now because i am now at the age that they were once upon a time

with kids of a similar age, you know. And so I get this kind of window into all these aspects of parenting that obviously you don't when you are a child, you know. First of all, you've got kids. Yeah. And, well, you know, when you're kids, you just see your parents as adults and they're different to you and everything. And now we've got this whole extra sphere of stuff.

Now you've got to be adulting. I am adulting and I'm doing it like a fucking boss. And you're just like unsupervised. God damn it. Do you like that? I do. And like remember my mom telling me the story about when we were kids. She like came out of the house one day and me and my brother,

who's two years older than me, he, he was like sort of four or five, uh, had climbed up my dad's four wheel drive and gone like up the, up the hood of the car and over the cabin and then up onto the carport that was there and then up onto the roof of the house. So she's come out of the house and like her four and

two year olds are just up on the roof, you know? Great vibes. And she's like, so you gotta act calm. You gotta be like, ha ha ha, ha ha come on down. Hey buddy. Don't start screaming. Crazy kids. You wanna scooch on down? You don't start screaming crazy kids scooch on down you don't

start doing the fear stuff and um she's got us to hop back down i'm up there in my nappy you know and uh and she's got us to come back down and we've got all the way back down until like i'm on the hood of this ford f100 i want to say and which had like a big a bull bar on it or like a rhubarb or whatever it's like welded and stuck onto there and i sat down on the front of this thing and my legs are between the front of the car and the bull bar which turns out has some jagged metal on the back of it right and it's like shredded up the front of my shin and made this big long gash. And my mum's talked to me in adulthood about being in a situation where your child does that to themselves and you can see all of their bone and you have to go,

hey, it's fine. It's fine. Let's just put a little cloth on that, hop in the car. You're fine. Get up. Hey, hey. I'm so glad you have like a deep well of horrifying leg stories. You have so many injury stories.

I'm amazed we're getting a new injury story on the podcast, let alone another one involving like. Yeah. This is not the hole in the leg story at all. I cut the side of my finger off like last week. Look how good that healed up. Look at that. I don the side of my finger off like last week. Look how good that healed up. I don't know what it looked like before. I sent you the picture and you said

you got to the center of the gobstopper. Well, one of a certain. I scrawled right past it. I didn't want to look at that. Yeah, it was pretty fucked up. I think we've all posted horrifying injuries in our chat before. But yes, there are absolutely times as an adult that you have to go hey guys, we're just going to hop in the PT Cruiser.

Yeah. Just going to go down to the hospital. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. I just remembered I hate Phil Lord and Chris Miller, or whoever the fuck the Spider-Man guys are. I did not like what they did with the Lego movie. We need to get in the PT Cruiser and go.

Honestly, they're really good. Lego movie's great. Yeah. Yeah, but like. Last Spider-Man movie, great. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Haven't seen it. So good.

Haven't seen it. Standing up with the kids and going, too many Spider-Man movies. You're both looking after young children. Play them Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. It's so good. I've played the Lego movie like twice now. I think it's a bit-

Fuck the Lego movie. Oh, Too Cerebral. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs all the way. It's like seven, eight kind of- Yeah. Okay. All right. Fuck Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs all the way. It's like 7-8 kind of. Yeah, okay, all right. Fuck Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. I think Finn likes the one with cars because it's got cars in it. Okay.

Yeah, kids fucking love cars. I think Lucy has seen the Pixar movie Cars before. Based on Pat's tweets, I feel like you might have seen it once or twice. Seen it a few. Cars 2. Cars 2 is a completely baffling movie. That's the one that. Larry the Cable Guy.

That's played the most in your household though, right? Is that the one that Pat's always tweeting about, Cars 2? Maybe. It's the one that Michael Caine tweeted, Car 2, entertaining and fun. Yeah, but that's also, you don't look at Pat's tweets because you're not a simp. That's right. Yeah.

That's very fair. The witness said he then saw a man stand up and leave the theater along with two children who were by his side. The witness said his seat was one row behind where that man was sitting. So he and his friends started to head that way. Quote, as we were walking up towards the seat, we saw smoke and it smelled like something was burning. We looked around a bit and someone finally put their flashlight on

and we saw like a trail of blood, the witness said. Incredible. When police arrived on scene Saturday night, they found a man suffering from a certified Bunta Vista uffa-duffa moment. Yeah. Uffa-duffa.

In his leg. Yeah. Officers said bunta vista uffa duffa moment yeah uffa duffa in his leg officers said that the man had accidentally shot himself quote I'm still even now a little bit shaken just like thinking about like what could have happened the witness said don't do a fucking silly

voice for this this man was in a cinema where a gun went off. He's saying, what if I had been the one who got shot, even though I didn't? He might have been. I was really scared. It was so scary. You live in America. You're maybe probably going to get shot all the time. Calm the fuck down.

I feel like this man has a pretty legitimate fear that a gun was fired in a small area. You've never heard a gun go off in a theater. Fucking grow up. There are 360 degrees that bullet could have gone in. That means you have a one in 360 chance of being hit. That's true.

When police arrived on scene Saturday night, they found a man suffering with a gunshot wound in his leg, like I just said. What's the crime? What's the crime? Yeah, a little theatre pop. The man was taken to the hospital and his condition was described as

stubbly. Yeah, the man was muy stubbly. Muy stubbly. Once the hospital staff got to him. Police said no other injuries were reported other than pride. And also the gaping wound in his thigh.

Yeah, mostly the wounds. But you'd be pretty embarrassed. You're going to hear two hits. One to your thigh, one to your pride. I don't think you get to lecture your kids about trigger discipline anymore after this. I don't think you get to lecture them about anything. Why did you bring your gun to the movies?

It's Spider-Man. Remember when you shot yourself in the dick in Spider-Man? Hey, pick up these clothes. Hey, remember when you fucking shot yourself during Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse? You big fucking idiot. There's no coming back from that. Then we went back and it wasn't available on IMAX anymore.

It's on the little screen. Then you've got to sit through the first 20 minutes again. Fucking annoying. I've been calling it Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse the whole time, but it is. Is that not what it's called? It's Spider-Man Across the Spider-Verse. Like the Bloody Beatles. Like the Beatles.

Like the Bloody Beatles. Yeah, so you can imagine Jim, what's his name, from the movie Across the Universe. Across the Universe. Jim Lennon from Across the Universe. What's his name? He's very hot. Jim Sturg Universe. Jim Lennon from Across the Universe. What's his name? He's very hot. Jim Sturgis. That movie is very bad,

but at the same time, very bad. Lucy, is he the little fella from Paddington? That's the little fella from Paddington. I know who Paddington is. He's a bear. You're thinking of the guy from South America. That's the little fella from Paddington. I know who Paddington is. That's Paddington. He's a bear. He's a little bear. You're thinking of the guy from South America.

He should fucking sound South American. If he's senior Ben Whishaw, he's also a little guy. If an elderly person said to you, who's the little fella from Paddington? I'd say Paddington. You'd be like, oh, my God, it is time for you to go into a home. It's Paddington. Are you talking about a child or a small man? No, he's a small man.

Ben Wishaw thinks Paddington's an adult. He's a small man. Okay. He's kind of got like a wry thing going on on his face. Paddington's a his face Who's that? Who's that now? The little fella from Paddington Oh! Paddington Come on grandma, come on Time to go

What the fuck is this? Which one of them was in Perfume, Story of a Murderer I don't know Probably neither The moral of this story is that Jim Sturgis is very hot I think we can all Perfume, Story of a Murderer. I don't know. I haven't seen it. Probably neither. The moral of this story is that Jim Sturgis is very hot. I think we can all agree.

And it was not a good movie. Imagine if he was singing Across the Spider-Verse. Imagine. Oh, Perfume, Story of a Murderer does star Ben Whishaw, little guy from Paddington. There you go. Is he in Paddington? You have it. Yeah. No, that's Jim Sturgis. Yeah, guy from Paddington. There you go. Is he in Paddington? You haven't.

Yeah. No, that's Jim Sturgis. Yeah, he was Paddington. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You know what's crazy? He's in the Mary Poppins movie. If you're watching this live and you're like, wow, it's amazing. They must have edited so much out of these episodes.

No, normal episodes aren't like this. Most of the time, the recorded ones, I'm just taking out long silences or cross talk. Nah. Yeah. Nah, nah nah they're all good i think this might just be a silly sunday is that what day of the week this is we've got the sunday we've got the sunday sillies yeah king's birthday tomorrow oh my god speaking of sillies speaking of sillies quote you just don't want these things to happen Especially to my close friends Like if one of them got injured I honestly would have blamed myself

Because I picked the movie theatre The witness said That's I mean You can't If a friend of yours Yeah If a friend of yours got shot

At the movie theatre Because a guy with two kids there Accidentally fired a gun You can't be like Fuck I was the one That's that guy with two kids there accidentally fired a gun you can't be like fuck i was the one guy's fault that told him it's straight up that guy's fault i invited branton clegg to go see across the spider verse with jim sturgis i may as well have pulled the trigger i may as well have shot branton clegg yep in their legs even though none of you got shot movies for adults yeah oh i mean the last spot i haven't seen people are gonna get mad at you for saying in their legs. Even though none of you got shot. Check out movies for adults.

I mean, the last spot, I haven't seen this one. People are going to get mad at you for saying that. The last one was fucking amazing. Is it really? It's a truly transcendently good animation style. Lucy, you love being really fucking high on weed, right? No. Then this is not for you. Oh, oh, oh.

Walk it back. Walk it back. Walk it back. A sign on the door of the theater states that firearms and deadly weapons are not allowed on the property. Bro, you got any deadly weapons on you? Are you carrying a halberd in your bag? It's such a fucking easy shot at Americans to make fun of something like this. But it's a live episode so may as well that's fucking stupid that's so fucking stupid that they're like hey guys just letting you know

it's our personal policy i don't know why they have that specific australian accent in this example that i'm giving hey guys hey guys just letting you know sorry here at this specific cinema we don't actually allow allow deadly weapons or firearms. So, like, maybe don't bring any in. Or if you have got some, go put them in your Hyundai i30. Pistols, shotguns. Guys, no outside. That kind of glob from Fallout that shoots you when you punch them.

No outside food. No fist guns. Or light machine guns. You've got to buy those here. Yeah, you've got to buy your Maltesers here and you can't bring in an AR-15. If that's okay. I wouldn't go to that theatre.

You bring it into Gold Class. Gold Class, they give you a gun. Yeah, whatever guns you want. Quote. Oh, it's not a quote, it's just the article. A witness said he appreciated how staff in the theater in Clinton Township responded to the incident. Oh, he said they were provided with refunds. Nice.

Additional free movie tickets. Nice. And they helped in calming witnesses down. Motherfucker. Good scheme. Motherfucker. Good scam. Hey. Hey.

Hey, I actually shot myself in that movie. I got a little free ticket. A little free ticket? Hey, I got a little blood on my shoe. Can I get a little free ticket, please? Can I get a free ticket because I got a little blood on my shoe? This is just insane. It's an insane mix of three things to have in the list.

Refunds, free movie tickets, calming people down because they just witnessed a shooting. It's not a real country. If you live in America, you live in the most fragile aggregate of people. It's not a country. It's just like you are shades away from falling into barbarism. You're so close. You just need like two big things to pop off and then you're an American Mad Max.

That's why they're armed. Oh, thank fuck. You've got to bring your gun to the cinema in case someone else brings a gun to the cinema. In case Mad Max happens. You don't want to be in a cinema if Mad Max happens and you don't have a gun at home. You come outside and everyone else is a wasteland warrior and you're like.

And you've got no chains. You're fucked. If I come out of the theater and I'm looking around, I'm like, am I the blood boy? Am I the blood boy right now? Yeah. Oh, fuck. I'm so the blood boy.

You don't want to be caught being the blood boy. I'm a universal donor. It's embarrassing. Fuck. Whereas me, I've got very little blood in me. I'm just a little guy. Don't bleed me. If you want a really depressing pin in the end of this story,

this particular one, quote, honestly, I wouldn't go back unless the same staff were working because they definitely made me feel safe after everything the witness said. What are you talking about? I'm not going to this theater. I will not go back to this theater unless I get aftercare from the same fucking staff from my shooting that I witnessed. I was initially very annoyed at Brandon because I had brought in outside Maltesers. And he told me i couldn't

bring them in but then afterwards when i witnessed a shooting at the cinema he made me feel protected so now i'm only going back in if brandon is there this is not a real country no it's fucking ridiculous but here's a little more from the same country. This is from the News Enterprise in Kentucky. Quote, gun discharges from inside safe strikes one. They should call it unsafe. What's your fucking safe made out of paper? Is it an origami safe? No, no, no, no, no.

We do not need to do that again. Also, can I just address one comment in the chat there? That you have the origami chair? No, no, no, no, no. We do not need to do that again. Also, can I just address one comment in the chat there? That you have the cuck chair? Is it about the cuck chair? That is not the cuck chair. None of us are meant to be looking at the chat right now, by the way. All the shit's come off the arms. In your cuck chair.

So I got a new chair. Oh, the cuck chair's over there because the pleather is failing on your cuck chair. I think Theo's trying to say it's not a cuck chair. It's not a cuck chair. Then why is it in your cuck chair. I think Theo's trying to say it's not a cuck chair. It's not a cuck chair. Then why is it in the cuck position? Bullchair? Oh, I'm sorry, that you have the cuck configuration in your room and you don't want anyone to comment on it?

Theo, what kind of beer are you drinking there, brother? I've got a Burley Midtide. Okay. Never heard of it. It's not bad. Burley Brewing. Lucy is once again accusing something of being mid. It's something I'm trying out.

I mean, this is literally mid. I think it suits you. I think it's really good. Thank you. No cap. For real. On God. That's that on that.

While two women were moving a safe, there's your problem. There's your problem. Don't say it like that. I didn't write the article bro but your emphasis was okay while two women were moving a gun discharged from within it that's what happens when two women move me brother yeah oh yeah what do you mean come here uh hitting one of the women happens to the best of us radcliffe police detective kenny mattingly said the discharge friday night that a residence in the christopher square

at 14 51 look we've talked about this before. Americans, can you please, for the love of God, sort out your fucking street addresses? So I think Americans are like, well, it's got the, you can work out what block you're on or whatever. I don't need that. I've got fucking Google Maps. But the thing I didn't realize is that ours starts at one. Yeah.

And then goes up in a linear fashion not helping anyone with the confusion here theo can i give you this whole address here yeah go for it a residence in the christopher square at 1451 west lincoln trail boulevard in radcliffe just say 12 smith street it's You know something that's really good is that if you just say anything in like an exaggerated American accent, it automatically sounds stupid, no matter how smart it is, because of the reputation Americans have globally. Which is not good. I'm at 1451.

No, you're not. And you sound dumb as fuck. Why are you talking like that? Was this intentional, Ben? Was what intentional? The whole episode being set up as fuck. Why are you talking like that? Was this intentional, Ben? Was what intentional? The whole episode being set up as a... What, shitting on Americans? Rust of the USA.

I don't know if you've noticed. Terrible names and their theatres and their guns and their safes. I don't know if you guys have ever noticed, but nearly all of our news is from America because... The silliest things happen over there. Well, no, because they're the only people that still have regional news stations. Oh. Australia has like five newspapers.

We shut down all of our regional news ages ago, so we don't have fun regional news happening anymore. That's true. Thank goodness. You'd have to listen to local radio. It's like dicky and tits. Ben's not ready to do that. Lord, no.

We either have like five major state-level newspapers or we have like there'll be a four-page magazine that's only print. Whereas America, there's like a million of these fuckers. And every day they will talk about whatever happens. So it gives us the opportunity to shit on America as much as we like. Oh, yeah. Quote. The gun accidentally discharged within the safe,

exiting the safe and striking her. Wait, the bullet or the gun? The gun didn't exit the safe, I don't think. I think it was the bullet that came out of the gun is my understanding. How did that happen? Is it just like, is it just had a buildup? Yeah, I think it had just been like holding onto that bullet for so long and then just the slightest touch from two women.

It wasn't allowed. It was in the safe. Yeah. Lucy, you're making kind of a face there. It wasn't allowed to go off. More like unsafe. Yes! Yes!

Time to play the whole Comedian of the Week stinger again. Time for the Bunta Vista Comedian of the Week. Oh, he's actually doing it. Ben already said that before, by the way. I was doing a beat. Yeah, thanks, Lucy. It's better when women do it. He's doing it.

That's right. You pick up all the little details like a radio head, so. I can't really do the whole thing. No, God, no. We're pressed for time. And you guys were making jokes about cumming. I just want to be clear on that one. I just want to be really.

Yeah. Often. Often. The joke was that the gun. It was like cum. They touched the, I don't know, maybe like, is the safe the condom in this scenario? I don't know. They touched the safe and the the condom in this scenario? I don't.

They touch the safe and the gun goes. The gun had been edged for a long time. The gun doesn't have, the safe doesn't have to be the condom. It doesn't have to be, but it helps the situation. Yeah, I would hate it if my dick was locked in a safe. Oh, no. Get it out of there. No one can touch it. This fucking podcast.

Radcliffe Police Lieutenant Jarrett Kirkpatrick off. Starting quarterback, Jarrett Kirkpatrick said that the gun, a 20-gauge shotgun, likely became loose in the gun safe, a modern Sherlock

Holmes. How is it becoming decent for print? Safe safe safe's a stationary so it's good we surely i guess the situation here is it doesn't have a trigger guard on it maybe but what are they doing just like shaking the safe safe like a magic eight ball is it is the safe made out of fucking alfoil and it's like a solid slug coming out of the 20 gauge how the fuck is anything getting out of there bullets are so fucking good at going through stuff it's a it's a shotgun though it might have been i thought a safe would be like bullet proof i think it's just meant to be man proof are you shooting a lot of safes, Lucy? Not recently. No.

Quote, we recovered the weapon, we recovered the round, and we recovered the safe, Mattingly said. So it must have been a slug. Yeah. I guess. There you go, Ben. Yeah. The shotgun blast struck the woman in the left hip, Mattingly said. He classified the wound as non-life-threatening.

Is he a doctor? Yeah. Almost certainly not. I don't want to hear that shit from you, Kenny Mattingly. Quote, she was alert, conscious, talking to us, he said. The woman was airlifted to University of Louisville Hospital from

an empty lot on North Lorraine Street near McKendree University. What do you reckon that conversation was like when she was talking to them? Hey, so we were moving this safe and now I have a giant hole in my hip? Pretty weird. Whoopsie. That happened.

So that just happened. Also, ow! Ow, ow, ow. That too. So that just happened. Also, ow. Ow, ow, ow. That too. All of those things. Is... Are you asking whether this is an existing segment? No, I was going to ask if that was an

episode of the podcast. I was at the end of the story. She just got shot with a gun. Yeah, that's it. That's the hilarious... She got plugged and they picked her up in a helicopter and she said, what the fuck just happened? And that was the end of the story. She just got shot with a gun. Yeah, that's it. That's the hilarious story. Yeah, she got plugged and they picked her up in a helicopter and she said, what the fuck just happened? And that was the end of the story. I think because we had five minutes of ass farting about. Oh.

And a little bit of effing and jeffing. I never fart into an ass. Bit of sucking and fucking. We do this one last one that I got here. Although you are eyeing up the one below. Oh, no, sorry. I've scrolled too far. My finger is just powerful.

I do think that the one after it is funnier. Let's do that then. Let's do it. It's funnier in a very obvious way. I fucking love stuff that's funny in an obvious way. No, other podcasts would have picked it up. I don't think we should do it. No, I'm going to do it now because it's right there on the page.

I'm looking at it. You just want to play the theme. More importantly. Yes, that is exactly what I'm looking at. Folks, to shoot someone else or maybe yourself is possibly some kind of crime.

It's time for crime watch Woo-hoo! Happy New Year! Happy New Year! Ruff, ruff! It's really short. Yeah, it seems way shorter than normal. Did you cut a bit off that? Yeah, trimmed it a little bit. A little trim. This is from WPRI, the pre in Rhode Island. You can still get pregnant from WPRI.

No, no. Rhode Island man accused of breaking into homes to steal sex toys. And now I want to say up front at the top of this show, Theo does not live in Rhode Island. Yeah. I was going to say, what's the crime? What's the fucking crime? Hey, if you're not using it, I'll use it.

Hey. If you're not using it, I'll use it. This thing's just in a drawer gathering dust instead of inside your pussy or asshole yeah i'll hey i'll get the dust off it for you i'll knock the fucking dust off that bad boy for you i'll suck the dust off a tibetan rhode island man is facing one two three four felony charges after police say he admitted to breaking into homes to steal sex toys he reportedly claimed he wanted to give as a birthday gift.

All right, that took a turn. If you were just stealing them to fuck yourself with them or whatever, I get it. To give as a birthday gift? That's nasty. Buy a freshie. Buy a fresh one. Yeah. You can't. What if he's a birthday gift? That's nasty. Buy a freshie. Buy a fresh one. What if he's the birthday boy?

Lovehoney.com. Recycle that. Offer code BUNTA10 for 10% off. Yeah. Have a come on us. Oh, Christ. Benjamin Nadrowski, 32, was arraigned before a judge in district court Tuesday morning

on two counts each of entering a building with felonious intent. Great title for an album. And attempted breaking and entering. Folks, if you're in front of a judge, there's probably like a handful of things you don't want him talking to you about. One of them, stealing dildos from houses did he just steal the dildos that's very interesting sounds like did he also get a ps5 or like according to police untrustworthy officers were dispatched around 10 45 pm on june the 2nd

to a home on power street for a report of a suspicious person. Big curly moustache, top hat. The dispatcher told police the person was trying to break in through a window. When police arrived, a resident of the home said while he was getting ready for bed, he saw someone standing outside his window on top of a chair and trying to get in through

the bathroom window. Hey, get out of here. Get the bottle that you spray your cat with. Hit him with that shit as he's coming through the window. My, get out of here. What's the best plan? Get the bottle that you spray your cat with. Hit him with that shit as he's coming through the window. My dildos. Get out of here. It's the dildogla. Go for the dildos. Get him.

So what was that, Theo? The what? What was that, Theo? Just real quick. Say it again. I didn't hear it. One more time. It's the dildurglar. Because he's the dildo burglar. It's wild how much this kills Theo.

Easily pad out another two and a half minutes with this Anyway, you gotta spray that guy and say No dildos for you In court, police reported the resident Let me take that whole sentence again In court, police reported the resident said he had confronted the suspect and told him to leave the property. Get on your scram.

Now, if you're an American and you're used to saying, go on, get to people, can we recommend going Australian mode and saying to people, get out of it? Far off. Out of it. Fucking get out of it, mate. Get out of it.

Fucking get out of it? Yeah. Far off. Out of it. Oh, rack off. Fucking get out of it, mate. Get out of it. Fucking get out of it. It is so unbelievably satisfying when Louis is doing something he shouldn't be doing to be like, out of it. Fucking go on. Get out of it. Out of it. Feels perfect.

It feels sublime. It feels just right. It feels just right. If that doesn't work, shake your gun safe. Yes. Got a one in 360 chance of it. That's basic math, baby. Shooting your dog. According to the police report obtained by NexStars WPRI,

the resident told officers the suspect apologized, my bad, and said he had the wrong house and then left in a white vehicle. Yeah. Sorry, I thought I was climbing through. I thought this was the dildo house. The bathroom window of the dildo house? This is the bathroom window of the other house. You don't want your dildos taken?

You don't want your dildos taken right now? I can come back later. Big risk. How do you know who's got a lot? Vibes. You can tell. Every single person has at least three these guys have so many glass bricks they've got to have dildos

the resident described the suspect as a white male with blonde hair driving a white pia classic was it it can't have been this podcast was it us that talked about the it was a story from a tabloid in the uk about someone planning a specific plant in the front of their house that indicated they were swingers but they didn't realize that that's the plant that means that you're a swinger there's a plant if you can find out what that plant is i've seen on tiktok then i'll know not to plant it. Upside down pineapple is a swinger symbol. What?

It's from TikTok. I doubt that's the plant, though. What's the plant you put outside your house to be like, I have like five dildos in my house. Don't rub me. Swinger plant in garden. Here we go. Pampas grass.

Yeah, in the chat, JN Lurker said, isn't it pampas grass? Mulder says pampas grass. You bunch of fucking sickos. Why the fuck do you people go off the top of your head? Someone says, isn't the pineapple for hot wifing? Why do you know that? What's the difference? Oh, it's from our year, dude.

Thank you so much. You piece of shit. You can't even remember stuff from your own podcast. You're remembering it from your favorite podcast instead. UID for life. 842-2357. Call the voicemail. About an hour later, the residents saw the same vehicle at the corner of Brook and Benevolent

Streets with the door open. Dildo's casket. Falling out. Sea of dildos. As police approached the scene, they observed a man matching the description of the suspect going through a dumpster with a flashlight in his hands. How many dildos are you finding?

Let's take the ones you don't want anymore. There's a rationale for this in the article, which is amazing. The police report notes that a body-worn camera was activated. Nadrowski was arrested and reportedly told police he had peered

into the home on Power Street. He said he was, quote, attempting to buy weed, end quote, but then realized he was at the wrong location when he was confronted by the homeowner. That's the funniest fucking thing to be like.

No, no, no, no, no. I wasn't looking to steal. I was just trying to do a drug deal. I was trying to get heroin. I think that guy had heroin. I was doing something normal. I was going to buy crocodile off this guy. It wasn't anything to do with getting dildos from his house.

Just a crocodile sale. All perfectly above board. Just insane reflexes. Why couldn't you have just been like, oh, a friend told me I could pick up something from his house and I was just checking that it was there. But no, had to be crocodile. A friend said I could have his dildos.

He said he would leave them out for me. Andrew, are you fucking with the Wi-Fi? He's looking at his pork. I'm turning up the temperature in the pit. I'm turning up the temperature in the pit. He is the pit master. Well, you're going to eat it later, so you'll be thanking me. I will.

Detectives ask Nadrowski about three other breaking and entering incidents from the week prior. I was trying to buy weed at all of those houses. According to a supplemental police narrative. I like that. That is kind of nice because it is they're actually, like, doing some skepticism about, like. Telling you a tale. Well, yeah, because often, I mean, maybe it's just a technical term for when the police do a report about something but like usually when these sorts of uh news stations report on police stuff

they just report it as if it's fact so that's nice a little bit of skepticism it's healthy yeah i like it according to a supplemental police narrative that everybody else on this fucking podcast is buying the drowski admitted to entering a home on Armstrong Street on May 27th and said he stole a, quote, sex toy, end quote, from a bedroom. I want to know what it was, though. I'm assuming dildo. It could be anything. Are we talking a big rubber fist?

Are we talking the little clit-sucking robot? Are we talking one of those little sleeves? Little jack off sleeves? Oh, a hot shot. You're like too fast. That was too fast. I'm unfamiliar with the hot shot. They've got a name. They've got a name. That sounds like a proprietary name.

I'm talking about jack off. Don't Google it on the giant monitor in front of both of us. Like a brand? Are you talking like a Jaffel situation? I think the name of the thing is a masturbator. Hot shot rechargeable warming silicone male masturbator. I got it.

I got it. Is it not a fleshlight? No, it's different. A fleshlight is like a whole sleeve inside a plastic tube. And one of these things is like... Like, you ever seen those things where it's like a tube that sort of... We were so close to landing this episode. Ever seen those things where it's like a plastic rubber...

No, not plastic rubber. Yeah, I know the things. Can you fuck them? Like, I guess... I don't know can you what i think happened theo is someone took one of those little novelty things that you kind of like run through your hands and it keeps turning itself inside out and they said i gotta fuck this bad boy i gotta fuck this thing yeah one of those infinite toruses yeah and it worked and they said all right

i'm putting a label on that i'm selling this for people to fuck. All right. So it was one of those. That's what we're settling on. I'm suspicious that that's probably what it was. I swear to God, I saw the Pornhub logo come up in your autocomplete when you were doing that. Not a big Pornhub guy. Porn T-Rex. That's where you find the full length. Okay. Okay When questioned further

He also told police that he broke into a home on Furnace Street and stole Two more sex toys from separate bedrooms The narrative says That's crazy I don't think he's trying to buy weed anymore Separate bedrooms? They're keeping sex toys in multiple bedrooms in the house just in case?

Sharehouse? It's fucking legal to own a sex toy, bro. Maybe a sharehouse situation, maybe. Or they have like, you know, the butthole. Please. You've got to have one in each room. Join me in the butthole room. It's kind of like, you know, we've talked about it repeatedly now,

I think the sex lamp or the sex candle system. What's a sex candle system? Oh, you might not have been on that episode. So that's where you- Light a candle or turn a light on it means you're open for a sexual encounter if you have a hard time communicating to your partner hey i would like to have sex what you do is you light a candle is this legit is this legit where the expression like holding a candle for someone comes from no not at all probably not no don't. What the fuck is that? What the fuck is that?

I think that's to do with like lighting a candle for someone to mean that you're praying for them. That's not as horny, to be fair. Go back to the other thing. What was the other thing? The sex candle. Are you taking notes there? Do a little physical comedy. So you really indirectly.

He's using props. So you're indirectly saying that you would like to have sex with your partner in a really non-aggressive, non-demanding way where they can respond to it. I think if you have the butthole room and the other room, if you're like, hey, I think we should have sex. And they're like, absolutely. You take their hand and then you lead them to the room that you're feeling more towards. Whole of your choosing is what you're getting. You don't have to be like, hello, my wife. I would like to have sex with you, but I would also like to do butthole stuff.

She goes, oh, we're walking into the butthole room? Okay. I have to do that. Oh, you lit the second candle. You lit the second way bigger candle. You lit the second way bigger candle. Nadrowski said he didn't steal any items of value from the residents. Yeah, these are worthless to me.

That's fucking... Hey, if you're not using it, what the fuck you even got it for? This is two very odd things to me. The first is obviously sexual health, sexual enjoyment. So important. Of course that has value. But also, sex toys very expensive. They're so expensive. They're so fucking expensive. You can get shitty ones but we don't want to steal those.

Don't get shitty ones. Not with the code Wunderwister10. Wunderwister10. 10% off. Seriously, if you are a rep for Love Honey, we will accept the sponsorship. We will ask people to buy Hotshot M shot masturbators 10% off. Yeah. And the good pH ballots ones or whatever.

You've got to get your sex toy cleaner. If you're putting something on or near a hole, don't get the cheap one. Oh. You've got to get what you pay for. Respect your holes. Yeah. Respect your holes. And they will respect you yeah i guess

yeah he said he didn't steal any items of value only women's sex toys he said he intended to give to someone as a birthday gift according to police that's and that's just kindness that's just practicing kindness that sentence is so incredible he's disrespecting women as a whole by saying it's nothing of value, it's only women's sex toys, but then he's also disrespecting one person specifically a lot more by being like, used sex toys I stole. Hey, I got you something. You could just steal a sex toy from

sexy land. Yeah, go into... No, they've got security systems and stuff. Fucking... Take off the little tag on your giant dildo or whatever. What's the fucking, goddamn, the chain in Queensland that's fucking everywhere. What do you got?

Chain? Yeah, it's adult something. Oh, right, right, right. This would have been really good if I had it off the top of my head. It's called like sexy land or something, isn't it? I don't know. If I was editing this episode, I would have trimmed out all the parts where I couldn't think of it, but okay.

Here we are. But this episode will not be edited. And also, I don't do that for you guys. I trim out the parts where I can't think of something, and it's not funny. I leave that in for you guys. I wouldn't know. And a tip from the chat,

Vandali says you just sign up for the Love Honey affiliate program. Okay. Oh, it's opt-in like the podcast awards? We shan't be doing it. Oh, it's upped in like the podcast awards? We shan't be doing it. Oh, effort? Due to the felony charges, no plea was entered in court. Dun, dun.

You know? Yeah. Law and order, sex, toy division. Yeah. Dun, dun. Yeah. Folks. I think that was technically.

That has to be an episode. I think for the love of God, that has to be an episode of the podcast I got to piss so bad I got to piss so bad Do you think it's because you had a glass of bourbon and three beers? Yep Hey, thank you so much for joining us for episode

300 The roughly Film 300 Check out 300 That's why you said that in the chat. Because of 300. I get it now. It was a thinker. I thought it would come to you later.

Somebody in there saying they've pissed three times during the stream. Come on. Jesus. That is non-podcaster privilege. Yeah, I guess so. I haven't. I've been doing my kegels yeah yep anyway we love you listeners thank you for tuning in after all these years it's been roughly it's fucked up to think

about how many years we've been doing the show for now we've all grown up together six years of this podcast and if you've only started listening to the podcast recently, I am urging you, there is so much great content in that backlog. Go back, listen to the episodes from about 200 onwards. You'll really have a great time. Oh, we love you, everybody. Thank you for listening. Don't start from the beginning. Don't.

Episode three. Oh, man. So, Maddy and I i just before we got to andrew's house we had like 20 minutes to fill on the drive and i was like oh well maybe let's listen to episode 100 just to like see what we did on the the 100th episode in case there's anything worth calling back to and we have like five minutes of fun and then it's immediately like well time to talk about politics and then just immediately time to talk about how much of a fucking bummer it is all the time. That's why we stopped doing that.

Yeah, there's like five minutes of us being like, isn't it funny that we know people with rooms for a loom in their house? That's a pro tip to listeners of the show. If something is not fun, you can stop doing it. You can just stop doing it. Also, a fun little bit of continuity is that like in the start of the 100th episode we're talking about loom rooms and then when andrew was showing us into the room that maddie and i are staying in he's like oh and here's this four shaft floor loom which was the exact one that he was referring to in that 100th episode

it's a really nice little bit of synchronicity. Kate Beckinsale, synchronicity. The album by the police. Synchronicity. That's What's Up. That is What's Up and thank you for having been What's Up with us through this crazy journey, this crazy ride. What a rollercoaster.

We're all just on. 600 more episodes. Minimum. I guess so. Oh, serendipity, not synchronicity. Fuck, stop looking at the chat. I'm so wrong about everything. You're looking at it. We fucking love you. Goodbye, everybody.

Good night. We're going to go eat some delicious burritos. We're going to drink some more beers. Everybody, hug your loved ones. Tell them how special they are to you. Kiss your dog. Think of a podcaster you care about and tell them that you're glad they've made 600 episodes of a podcast. Kiss your dog unless your dog is Winston,

in which case just kind of prod him with your toe and say, fuck you. Get out. Freak. Fucking out of it. Disgusting little cunt. You stink, motherfucker. Bye, everybody.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. stink motherfucker bye everybody bye