Boonta Vista - EPISODE 304: Please Be Careful As Your Blood May Have Shifted In Flight (with Patrick Gill)

Episode Date: July 9, 2023

Polygon's Patrick Gill joins Theo and Ben to discuss: Travelling too far into turtle holes and storm drains, the worst liquid to sit near on a plane, and the best place not to land your hot air balloon. *** Follow Patrick on Twitch: twitch.tv/pizza_suplex Follow him on Instagram: intagram.com/pizza_suplex_vevo *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello, welcome to Gabista, episode 304. I'm Theo, and I'm the protagonist of the latest game by Dark Souls and Bloodborne Director Hideata Miyazaki, the Shitlands. Welcome to an incredible world, rich in law and detail. A world that used to be good, where the gilded towers of glorious castles filled the sky as great benevolent Griffins swoop and play. A world where men were like gods, seven foot tall and gleaming, and they could think straight, and they remembered to take their meds every day. But then something vague and terrible happened, and the world was thrown into disarray. We now stand in what some call the age that sucks ass.

Other scholars term, the really shitty eon. Ah, it sucks so bad here now. And I wish I was dead. But I'm cursed to live the same day over and over again. And this terrible body looks like a dried sardine rolled around the clothes all of a thrift shop. Fink stinks out loud here! Ah! I've battled the corpulent one in Roger Zublett, the Nonce brothers in the brown keep, the glorious keeper of turds in the shitter, 400 rats in rat town.

The feculent matriarch in a secret back passage which, holy shit loops back into the shitter. And now I stand before my greatest foe th th th the yet th's the great haget. Mother of Geese, a title which is subtly refuted by the great numbers of dead geese I must trip it. By the great numbers of dead geese I must tripper and crawlover, even to reach her in the arena of battle. It's Ben. Hey, buddy. Hey, I played, um, I think I played 45 minutes of Bloodbourne when you really got it up to me. Yeah, and uh, then I kind of tapped out because I found it too hard and I've not played any of the others. Yeah, we'll get you past there buddy. You just got a, you you got to avoid the wolves on the bridge. Yeah, there's a little passage to the left that you're, the thou. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to to the to to to to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to get to to to to to to me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. all it's all good from there. Yeah, it's all right. Yeah, it's fine. We'll get you anyway but you're you're also her get the mother of geese. Yeah, right. I sort of get the thrust of the world building is that it's like a it's a dying world and it's miserable

but yours is you're riffing on it by making it more stinky and turd-like. No, this is a this is about right. Oh, okay. I'm the mother of geese. Ah, yeah. All right, well, after that encounter with the great and disgusting form of Ben, I'm now taking time to rest back at the winging campfire, a place populated by degenerates, arsholes, and generally people who are it it fucking sucks now, compared to before, how they cannot perform even rudimentary calculus anymore due to their fading humanity, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, uh, uh, the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, and, and, and, uh, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, and, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, toe.e.e.e. the they. the, to before. How they cannot perform even rudimentary calculus anymore due to their fading humanity. But among these scum is the truly only truly moral character in the entire game.

Bulbus Bingus, a forfeit sphere of a man who doesn't let the fact that his asses semi-permanently lodged inside a cauldron roughly equal to his size. And as soon as he frees is fs is fs is fs is fs is fs is fs is fse is fse is fse is fse is fse is the the th is th is th is th is th is fse is th is fse is thus is thus is thus is thus is the cauldron sure enough he sits down and from the exertion and oops ass back in the cauldron. He's a long-time video mega man at Polygon it's the handsome devil himself Patrick Gill how are you buddy Sodden one I see you've returned have you caught with you any rat jams I have actually been to the where was that the fucking the rat pit it sucks but yeah I've got the th th th th th th th the th th th the th th th the th th th the th the th the th th th th the that that the the the the that the the that the that the the the that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the of the of thea tea tea tea teauu. teau. teau. teau. teau. teau. teau. tea. thea. the the, where was that, the the rat pit? It sucks, but yeah I've got about three rat gems for you.

There are those of speak of a rat pit and within it perhaps one might find something of odd might do them surface in this turbulent age. And a fun thing I saw is that on the law text for the worthless pike I found in the swamp of sorrows is that your caultrun is actually haunted by the spirit of Lady Crusader, the dragon who fell from grace, which pretty cool I reckon. Yeah, it's not going to come up in any meaningful way, but it is true. No, and they're not going to also tell you this at all. It's just going to be a little true for you. That's specifically there for that one really, really quiet British YouTuber to tell you about in a 3-hour video later. Which I have watched by the way. I watched all of them too. He's really good.

It's like a make-work program done by those people where just every single Lordnote is adding another half an hour of somewhat meaningful work for a series of YouTube. Isn't that so important? Yeah we need work for our YouTube. Otherwise, what will they do? Yeah what will they do? What will they do? I don't know if the guy that makes and then eats historical sandwiches can find anything else to do with his life if that wasn't there? I think it's good. I think that we should do more of it.

I think that should be like a government mandated thing is that any game that comes out, especially if it has any sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort the the the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that that that that that that that that. that that that that that that. that that that that that that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the thii the the thii the the thi thi that's thi. that that that that that that that out, especially if it has any sort of, you know, government assistance, needs to have a whole bunch of really obscure background lore so that we can keep that industry going. We need, Fextra Life needs ad revenue. How are they going to get it? So people watch Fextra Life. Like sometimes you're on Twitch and you'll be like streaming or, you know, scrolling down the list of stuff and there's like 10,000 people watching FXRA life stream, which is wild to me because it's like a Wikipedia. That's the wiki site.

Yeah, that's... But like people like watch the... Anyways, this is extremely interesting stuff we're talking about. I'm sorry. This is an episode, full gamers, by gamers, non-gamers, get out. And also no filthy casual, the. I'm actually, I'm so... Yeah, PC, last race, stuff like that. I need games to be very casual now because I have two children. Yeah.

But I am back into Dark Souls 2 because of that quiet British man's Dark Souls 2 video. I'm giving it to go. It's good. It's good game. All those 40K law videos weren't enough to get you to start playing 40K. No, they're just enough for me to get to sleep. That's very troubling. Hey, the world building and those Dark Souls games or whatever, probably full of holes. There's a segment. Not Holes is in plot holes, I mean literal holes. There's literal holes. There's the town where you kind of hang out and then there's just like a 40 foot hole just to the right there. It's time for the hell's voice is calling, you're falling.

Beautiful. This one comes to us from KPNX in Arizona, the Penix. Valley Firefighters help man stuck in turtle hole. P. I can't, I don't think I want to learn what a turtle hole is. I want to keep imagining. There's so much beauty in the world. I'm, I'm just, I'm just going to be haunting. I'm just thinning. I. I. I'm the wanting. I'm haunting. I'm haunting. I'm haunting. I'm haunting. I'm haunting. I'm haunting. I'm haunting. I'm haunting. I'm the the thing, thing, thing, thin. I'm thin. I'm haunting. I'm haunting. I'm haunting. I'm haunting. I'm haunting. I'm haunting. I'm thing. thing. thing. thing. thing. thing. thing. thing. thing. thing. thing. the, the, the, the, the, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thor. th. thor. th. th. th. th. th. think I want to learn what a turtle hole is. I want to keep imagining. There's so much beauty in the world. I'm just glad that there's not an apostrophe and an S in the headway. Still could be.

It's a very different story. True. Firefighters helped rescue a man who got stuck inside a hole dug by a turtle on Saturday. Great. How big can a turtle hole be? How big is a man? Oh yeah, how big is a man? How big is a man? That's so sad.

Sorry, no, just already it's so sad. Like there's like a really funny sad irony of getting stuck in a hole that you didn't but getting stuck in a hole that you didn't even dig, and it was like a pathetic small animal that dug the hole. Yeah. It's a real sad trombone story. Man was wearing just like an old brown threadbare suit that like pocket patches, old bowler hat falling off his head. What?

Daisy Mountain Fire and Medical was dispatched to a property near 7th Avenue and Joy Ranch Road to assist a man who got wedged inside a turtle hole he was trying to clean out. Oh, he was trying to clean the turtle's hole. The crew successfully pulled the man out and transported him to a local hospital for minor injuries. That's the end of the story. Thank you. That's all three sentences of that new story. So this man perfectly happens every day, you know? You leave the house to go and clean the turtle hole.

Sometimes you don't come home. You know? Yeah, so many stories like that. Yeah, that's why you tho your family you love them before you go to clean the turtle hole, because you might get stuck in there. And by the way, I'm sending you a GPS pin. It's for the turtle hole. If I don't report back, check the turtle. So wait, this is a way.

this was in Phoenix, Arizona. I'm starting to doubt that now, judged by the fact that it was a turtle. Yeah, yeah, that's where my brain is going. Is that correct? That is true. Daisy Mountain, Arizona. Okay. Daisy Mountain, Arizona turtles. Let's get into this. There are 10 types of turtles in Arizona. Let's list them all off. Yeah. One, the common snapping turtle. Yeah. Experience level intermediate. Difficulty. Drops 480 souls.

So what's the deal? So turtles don't need to be near the water. Is that what we're getting from? They can live in like, I suppose they can live in swamps. You got your classic swamp turtle, your bog turtle. Do you think this is a news outlet carelessly calling a tortoise a turtle? That's sort of what I'm wondering. Oh, they don't even know. I'm looking at a website where it's the heading is Desert Turtles in Arizona and then it immediately proceeds to talk about tortoes. Yeah, they got they they got they they they got they they got they got they got they got they they got they they got they got they got they got they got they got they they got they got they the they got the the the the they they they they they they they they they they're their their they're they're thurtles. I the. I they're the. I the. I the. I the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theat. theat. that. that. that. that. that. I'm that. I that. I to talk about tortoises. Yeah, they got the turtles in the in the headline for SEO and then. Yeah, because that's that's the one that gets the attention. People are always looking for turtles. Got to get that sweet, sweet turtle hits. I have another whole story for you here. This is from the associated press. thrown. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thea. total. tha. total. total. total. total. total. their total. their their their their their their their their the headline. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the headline. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the the the the the the the the th. th. th. total. total. total. total. total. total. total. total. total. total. total. total. total. total. total. total. total. total. th. th. th. th. th. the th., man swept into manhole during heavy rains was washed down pipes for a mile before rescue.

That's like literal nightmare shit for me. I don't want that happened to me. That is, I can't imagine anything worse. That's um, that's a really, really, really long time to be stuck at a pipe. I think, I think, do you think like, he's going, well, as long as I keep moving, I'm okay. As soon as I stop moving, I'm fucked. Oh God, yeah. Unless the, unless the pipe goes somewhere worse. Well, I'm picturing sort of like cartoon logic, you know, it's stormwater pipe where it's entirely full to the brim with water and he's getting buffeted around inside. But could this be a... And powerhouse is playing. Yes, yeah. And he's like, there's

a very jorty camera movements as he hits a right angle and goes straight down and across. I mean, it could just be like a half full pipe where he can still breathe, hmm, but he's in perfect darkness. Assuming this is like a pretty narrow pipe and and it's you in this situation, would you rather be going feet first or head first? Oh, feet first for sure. Yeah, if I'm running into like corners and sewer alligators, take my feet, leave my precious head, please. But that does put you into position where like if you fall out of one pipe and you're sort of

free falling before you go into a new pipe, you could end up in like sort of a split situation where you fall genitals first onto a cross pipe. That's true though you didn't consider the genitals first onto the crosspipe situation. And then you probably like sort of like swing sort of you, boom, and then slowly pivot downwards until your head first and you fall onto the next pipe. But most people recover from that. That's true. And they go on to leave mostly normal lives. Yeah, they just say, oh, that's gonna hurt tomorrow. And then from there, they're generally fine. When they're like 70, oh, oh, pipe injuries playing up again. From the time I got scissed by a sewer pipe, the worst adventure of my life. So did they manually get this guy out or did he just shoot out somewhere?

Come out into the river somehow. Let's find out. Firefighters rescued two men who fell into a manhole during heavy rain in downtown Omaha on Friday, including one who was washed about a mile through sewer pipes before getting trapped behind a metal grate. Oh, no. Oh, no. He's getting his shit cleaned. Take that much. The man's fully nude by the time they find him. The man... But it's a sewer pipe, right?

So there's just like, effluent and whatever, just like, him down his shirt etc. It's probably like it's it'd be a stormwater drain right? Yeah, I think it's all the same. I don't think they separate those really. I think separate their clean wets from their wetweets. No, I don't just go into the sea. Yeah, that's probably theyluted by the rainwater a bit. Garbage patch and it's probably fine. The men who are workers for a private contractor, Ace Pipe Cleaning, were swept into a manhole near the old market just after 9 a.m. The Omaha World Herald quoted Lieutenant Neil Bernacchi of the Omaha Police Department and saying, Mama Mia! Yeah. Mamma Mia! Indeed.

One of the men who was tethered to a safety system was quickly pulled out. That's what it's for. Yeah. Clip on to the safety harness in heavy rain so you don't end up having the horrifying human washing machine experience. A live-scale rescue effort ensued for the other who was apparently not tethered. He was found around 10 20 a.m. Oh shit. What's the timeline on that? That's an hour and 20 minutes. Oh no. Oh boy. You got a whole hour and 20 minutes down there on the sewer grate to think about things you've done. How fast do you reckon someone being pushed along by rapid stormwater runoff is traveling. You reckon that's a 20 minute journey for the mile?

I think we're probably probably looking at like a 10 minute mile and then an hour and 10 minutes of waiting to be removed from the great. That's horrifying. Yeah. Do you think at any point during the trip it was kind of like fun though? Yeah, absolutely. I reckon you probably have like horror, obviously the first 30 seconds, and then a little bit of, woohoo! This is kind of crazy. And then immediately like a, oh no, this has to end in some fashion and I'm unclear what.

You kind of wouldn't want it to stop at some point because that's when you, the uncertainty. Yeah, absolutely. That's the ultimatum, isn't it? That's where we see how this great journey ends. Yeah, great. You kind of would want to come out at the waterfall from the fugitive, I think, is the idea-I think. Yeah. And like you can survive that I think.

That's what I've seen in movies. Yeah. It's in the movie. Oh, man, that sucks. The 41-year-old man had extricated himself from the water but was found behind a metal grate covering a culvert. And over... Oh, wait, okay, so maybe he wasn't getting rinsed at that stage. He was just clinging to the grate for dear life.

And dry, ish! That's less bad, I guess. And Omaha Fire Department crew cut the grate to free him, Assistant Fire Chief Jason Bradley to the Nebrilea newspaper. He was taken to to toee-a-m, toe-m, the told their thii-m, thi-m, thi-movated, thi-mova-mova-mova-movede, thi-movede, thoom, thoom himself, thoom-moome, thoomcate himself himself thoomcate himself, thoomcate him him him him him him him him him him, thoomcate him, thoom? told the newspaper. He was taken to the Nebraska Medical Center, his name and condition were not immediately released. Do you think that's for like public image? Oh, he doesn't want people to know that he was the guy? Oh, you're the pipe guy?

Oh, the one mile duke pipe man. Yeah, you're the guy from Ace Pipe Cleaning who got trapped in a pipe the pipe the pipe the whole town knows about it. Don't they have some sort of a safety system with like a cable for you to use? Yeah, it did break. It must have snapped or something right? That's horrifying, god damn. Also just having like a mile of pipes that people can travel through continuously doesn't, that seems like the cartoon version of a pipe, but I didn't realize this actually happened in real life. But I guess it happened to this man. Do you think pipes go, Ben, let's get into this.

I think pipes form a bit of a grid system. I don't know. My only understanding of pipes is based on city's skylines. I guess sometimes you'll have long continuous sections of pipe. Yeah. I guess it depends on how you design your city I guess. Yeah, so true. Check out cities skylines two.

Cities two skylines. Yeah. Total war. I will. I think it's coming out now. Hey, traveling through a pipe. That's one way to get from A to B, but sometimes you need to get there a little faster, and that's why we invented the aeroplane.

It's time for plainly speaking. This is your captain speaking. Please return your seat to their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of plainly speaking. This one comes to us from CNN. Airline passenger finds plain floor soaked in blood. Ha ha ha ha. Habib Bata was flying from Paris to Toronto on Air France on June 30th when he noticed a strange smell coming from the footwell under his and his wife's seats shortly after takeoff. It smelled like manure, he told CNN.

The pair were traveling on the Boeing 777 with their two cats, each in a separate carrier in the footwell in front of the couple. Oh no. Yeah. That's a thing you can do that apparently. I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho tho tho the the the tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. their th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the of the couple. Oh no. Yeah. That's a thing you can do. You can do that apparently. I thought they forced you to put your animals in the undercarriage. I thought they were going in the pit down there and strongest animals leave at the end. Yeah, that's right. They just chucked them in a room,

lock their the U.S.S., where Batar, a Beirut-based journalist will spend a stint as a university lecturer. Quote, it was our first time traveling with the cats and I was thinking, oh God, they've had an accident. I'm so embarrassed. Then I thought, maybe it's somebody's body odor. I was sniffing and sniffing and then said, the cats, I the cats, I said, the floor to check on the animals on his hands and knees. I looked at the cats, the poor cats were totally fine, he says. But what he did notice beneath the cat

carriers was a wet stain on the floor, about 20 inches long and wide he says. He flagged down a passing flight attendant. That is so much blood. That's a lot of blood. That's the car the car the car the carpet the carpet the carpet the carpet the carpet. That's the carpet. the carpet. the carpet. their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thathea. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their cats. their. their. the cats. the cats. the cats. the cats. the cats. the cats. the cats. the cats. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. And that's carpet they've got right on the... Traditionally on an airplane, it's carpet I believe, yeah. Quote, I said it smells like mound, shit. She handed me wet wipes. I started wiping and it was red. Blood red. And it kept coming up red.

I was like, what the hell is this? I just wanted to see what it was. Yeah. After a while, one of the flight attendant said, you better go wash your heads, and here are some gloves. For what, for cleaning it more? For him to keep cleaning it, that's right. At some point you have to take control of the situation. I would have thought that as well. This is actually, maybe this is just how air France is. Yeah, it's actually part of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the the the f. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the th. th. the th. the th. the the. the the actually maybe this is just how Air France is. Yeah, it's actually part of the charm is how fucking rude they are to. It's part of the service when you get a flight to Paris to kind of ease you in that they just put some blood on the floor. Oh, and the blood smells like shit by the way.

As Bata was cleaning, the flight attendant had passed the message onto her co-workers, and the captain was radio in Paris asking, what on earth was the blood red stain under seats 30A and 30B? News came back from Air France HQ. It was human blood. How do they know that from over there? Well, you know, they got to have notes on these things. The day before, on a Paris to Boston flight, a male-pipipipipipipipipipipipipipipiped the the the the the the the the th p p p p p passenger passenger passenger passenger passenger passenger passenger passenger th. the the th. the th. the th. the the th. the ca-in was their th. th. th. their there. Well, you know, they got to have notes on these things. The day before on a Paris to Boston flight, a male passenger had suffered what

Batar says the crew called a quote hemorrhage. Oh. Spent normally on the inside though. That is my understanding, but I am not a doctor. The passenger had survived and the captain of that flight had requested that the area be cleaned for the aircraft's next flight back to Paris... the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the to b b Boston.. the to to the to b b ba. to bost. to bost. to to ba. to boste to to to to to to ba. the to to to to toauas, toaust. toaust. toa. toa. toa. the the the the the toa. the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their toa. toa. their toa. their toa. to b. to b. to ba. their to ba. their their their their their their their tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. their their their their their their their their their their their that flight had requested that the area be cleaned for the aircraft's next flight back to Paris, but seemingly the cleaners had forgotten about the floor. Don't they check? That's but blood. That's...

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Quote, I didn't know it was blood until a flight attendant said casually, Oh, we heard another passenger had a hemorrhage, says Bata, then I noticed the cat carrier was stained as well. Everyone is so casual about this. Yeah, this is insane.

They do things a little differently up there on Boeing Triple Sevens under the care of Air France. The blood had soaked through to the carrier, which doubles as a backpack. So I was picturing a sort a sort the the sort the sorting a sorting a sorting a sorting a sorting a sorting a sorting a sorting a sorting a sort the the the the the the the the the the th. I was pictur. I was pictur. that a kind that a kind that a kind that a that a that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. Oh. that. that. that I. that I. that I. that I. that I. that I. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I through to the carrier, which doubles as a backpack. So I was picturing a sort of like a chicken carrier type, chicken crate type situation made of plastic. Yeah, the typical one, yeah. You'd take your cat to the vet with while they bailfully look at you and scream occasionally. I still have yours in my garage by the way actually, your cat carrier from the chicken. I'm gonna bring that th th the the the the the the th the th th to the th to th th to the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho ththe way actually your cat carrier from the chicken. I'm gonna bring that back you. In a frenzy he wanted to clean the bag, the cat still inside it. He moved to the galley area to keep cleaning, trying to furiously get rid of this awfulness. Quote, I used a whole pack of wet wipes.

He says that only one flight attendant seemed angry on Batar's behalf. He was apologizing, but the others didn't react, so he was the non-French flight attendant. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Quote, it's also a threat to the flight crew. I asked, what's your protocol for this? But they said nothing. I'm pretty sure there is that.

Oh my God. Yeah. No, there is absolutely protocol for blood. Certainly. If not specific to this airline, like global air standards, you probably have to do something about like biohazards, probably. Yeah. Yeah. It was a long flight for the couple who say they were offered two small bottles of Evian water as recompense. Is it water complementary on a plane? Does that legally have to be? What the fuck?

But this is the only potable water on an air-france flight, so... Otherwise it's just the water from the Paris catcombs. They were also given two blankets from business class to put on the floor, so they're not the shit blankets from economy, with a little bit of powder to soak up the blood. The flight was full and they couldn't be moved. We had to sit there smelling the blood for the next seven hours, he says. The smith, oh sorry, this is a great one. I want you to hear this sentence and then prepare yourself for a wonderful little moment afterwards.

Quote, the smell of rotten blood is like manure. I'd taken my shoes off at the start of the flight and there was blood of my socks. First off, don't be weird. Keep your shoes on. Second of all, blood doesn't smell like manure. Not even old blood. Old blood smells like old blood. The article continues here. Actually it was manure, kind of. Three days later he was called by Air France and told that the blood had been mixed with feces. During or after the fact?

I'm kind of assume during. That's dead on. This man had a butt-hole hemorrhage. It was tainted butt blood. It got on the carpet. And that made it as a cleaners note. Yeah. Not like a...

Not as we need to do something about this plane in a medical sense. Yeah. It's like a, if you've got time, clean up the blood turns.. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the blood the blood the blood the blood the blood the the the blood the the the the the that's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. the. the. It's not. It a medical sense. Yeah. It's like a if you've got time, clean up the blood turns. Yeah, you're gonna want to bring you a wet back. Uh, so wait, he was notified about the blood later, the poop blood later. Three days later, yeah. He gets a phone call from someone in France being like, Buzhaw. By the way. This has got to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the th a thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus tho. It thoom thoom thoom. thi. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. We thi. We thi. We to to to thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.hoo, by the way, this has gone to sound crazy.

There was shit in there. That was shit in there. It just come back from the, how do you say, a laboratory? Like, just like a, hey, by the way, what you should know, there was some shit in the blood as well. And it's not like, you can do anything about it now. So we're gonna need you to come back and clean that up.

We need you to scrub twice as I'm down. Like, it's like retroactively try to make his experience worse at this point. You know like you had the worst of your life? It was actually worse a new thought. If Rand sent a statement to CNN that a passenger had been unwell on a June 29th flight from Paris to Boston and was treated by medics on arrival, that if the blood and feces made it down into a like foot and a half circle stain on the carpet, that passenger was beyond unwell. That passenger was having like an incident. Yeah. Yeah. I have filled a couple of toilets with blood. That's horrifying. Are you in a position to say how? Oh, yeah, with my ass. Yeah. No, it was I, um, when I was like 20? I got a twenty? I got a twenty? I got a circle? I got a circle? I got a circle? I'm like, twee. the thc. the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, I, the the, I, the, I, I, the the the the c. the the, I, the c. the cci. the c. the the the the the the the the the, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the c. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. the, I, I, I, I. No, it was I, when I was like 20, I got a schemic colitis, which is a type of colitis that like usually like only 80 year old women get. We're essentially just like your entire like lower intestines just like dries up. Yeah.

So yeah, I was hospitalized for a while, but before then I was just filling toilets with blood, bright red blood. Co-workers hating. How soon were you getting medical help after that? Oh, pretty much immediately. Yeah. Yeah. That's one of those things that's pretty quick. Yeah. If that had hit on an airplane somehow and I didn't make it to the bathroom. I could, I was was was was just, I was just, I was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was just just just just just th. th. th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just I was just th. I was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to to to to to to to that's one of those things that's a pretty quick, yeah. If that had hit on an airplane somehow and I didn't make it to the bathroom, I could see making easily a 20 inch round area underneath my chair.

Yeah. I wouldn't find that challenging at all. It's no sweat, yeah. Was this like a no notice situation? Oh, it was a lovely surprise. Oh, great. God in heaven with his wand. Sometimes you need a little spiritual challenge to really shake things up. Yeah. God gives his bravest warriors, his shittiest monies. And if you're listening to this Ed, you reckon you could do a pretty good approximation of the guy that's reading the poem at the start of the dead flag blues by God's Speedyue, Black Emperor, can you please send in a recording of you saying I opened up my toilet and it was full of blood? Thank you. I'd appreciate that very much.

Patar says, quote, I've been covering Beirut for 20 years as a journalist. I've lived through wars, airstrikes, seen assassinations, car bombs, and narrowly survived the port explosion, explosion. I thought I'd seen it all. Holy shit. Oh God. They chose the wrong guy to put 12 by 12 inches of shit blood in the footwell of. This is such a crazy thing to contextualize the experience of sitting near this puddle. Yeah, I almost saw one of the most horrifying explosions in recent history and this was worse. I didn't expect to find more blood than I've seen in Beirut on an Air France plane. Well, now you know. Now you know what to expect.

Air France, more blood than Beirut on every plane. Quote, sorry, in a quote, state of shock on arrival and unable to remove the cats from the carrier, not from the plane. They were, they were, let's come off. Carrier's stuck to the ground. Very adhesive properties in fecal blood. He picked up the carrier, slung it on his back as a backpack, so that's getting on his shirt as well, taking it with him to Toronto where the pair are currently visiting Anna's family. Quote, I brought that blood home. They sent me home with a biohazard.

They never stopped me and said, hey, we don't know what this patient had wrong with him. It was so negligent, he says. I don't know what it's like in other countries, but we, coming back, the hardest thing to get back into Australia is the biosecurity stuff, right? Yeah. They spend like 10 minutes going through your shit making sure you haven't tracked the wrong kind of like opossum blood back into Australia or whatever that's got rabies in it. Yeah, if they see mud on your boots and they find out that you've been to a farm, they will just straight up, they'll kill you. They'll kill you on the spot.

Hey, you got the bomb boots. Yeah, time to go in the contraption. You get squished, the incident was two that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thatist here, quote, the incident was two flights before hours. So in Boston the cleanup didn't happen. So somebody else either had the exact same experience and didn't tell anyone or had the exact same experience and told them and they just didn't do anything about it again. So they just straight up not clean in planes now. Yeah, I don't know if you've noticed. I mean, this might be different for international flights and for better airlines because I've

only ever flown on the shit ones. But they have like five minutes turn around from the plane. Absolutely. Like, I think they just give everything a little spritz. They hang up a the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I thi. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. t. ti. te. te. te. te. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the trees you put up in your car to smell good and then bam done I hate it when you can't get your bag over over your thing because over your chair because somebody already put all their blood up there yeah but that's the price of flying you know supposed to keep your blood to keep your blood near your feet yeah at the very least keep it down on the

floor I'm just imagining a flight attendant opening one of those, just a bunch of blood pouring out. Just sloshing around in there. Oh, this one's full. Please be careful. The blood may have shifted during the force of the flight. Quote, the plane returned to Paris, this bloody, shitty plane. And we got on it. This guy is the maddest anyone has ever been.

Yeah. He's probably right. So hang on, that was in the article? Yeah, that's what the guy said. That's exactly how he phrased it. Hell yeah. That means other passengers were also exposed to it. I think they endangered their passengers' well-being. I started to ask, how do you not check? What are the protocols for biohazards?

I couldn't get them to tell me. It was as if they were none. Air France confirmed to CNN that the liquid appears to be blood and feces. When asked about their procedures for deep cleaning biohazardous waste on board, they said that, quote, quote, quote used. Mmm. Yeah. So, good. Okay. Is a carpet-trenched in blood and feces really a low to nonexistent risk to passengers? Not according to Dr. Richard Dewood, specialist in travel medicine at London's Fleet Street Clinic. Dick DeWood. Dick?

Dr. Dick? Diwood. Interesting. Quote, I don't agree with that, he says. This is a very unhygienic situation, and we don't know what the passenger was suffering from or whether it was infective. Quote, it could have been blood and diarrhea from an infection or from something like colitis. Hey. But either way, in a hospital setting, this would have been treated as contamination

and a biohazard. Well, you're not out of hospital. You're on a flight from Air France, pal, get used to it. Is it legally French territory on the plane? I believe so, yeah. French laws apply up there. There's none. In fact, the diarrhea may have been more hazardous than the blood. A little counterintuitive, I know. God, there are journalists that have worked their entire careers without having such a wonderful line in any of their articles. There's such an air of... The diarrhea may have been more infectious. Let's not make this a competition. It's such a real, hmm, and here's a little puzzler for you kind of tied to it.

I don't know. I don't know. DeWood says that cleaning diarrhea without disinfecting it, as Bataar ended up doing in the galley near the food preparation area, can aerosolize its particles. Oh, cool. So he's taken the blood diarrhea from underneath his cat carrier and put it in the food prep area and just sort of misted it. Quote, and again, this is coming from the doctor by the way.

The airline may only be considering the blood hazard, but mixed blood and stool is nasty. It gets everywhere. Nine years of medical school. He's not wrong. Man, this guy is, this guy's been waiting for this type. It's easy to contaminate people's hands and surfaces. I'd regarded as hazardous. Thank you, Doctor. No further questions. Meanwhile, Patar, who is currently talking to lawyers and posted gruesome photos

in a Twitter thread, says Air France called him three days after the flight, offered to have the cats washed and suggested a $500 voucher. He declined their offer. Ah! Under what circumstances is that not a full refund? Oh, and by the way, we'll wash your cats. They've just got a guy that likes washing cats. They're not even like giving him money to send him somewhere.

Pat, you've got a cat. Have you ever washed your cat? No, absolutely not. No, that's a freak thing to do. That is a... But you know, but then I have never gotten blood and feces on herself or... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I love working from home because she comes and jumps on my lap, you know, and has some quality time, but sometimes she does that right after doing a big duke in the thing. She doesn't know. Yeah, and then I've got... But wait and she hasn't cleaned up from it yet. Sometimes, she's get a bit old. Yeah, yeah, that happens happens that happens happens that happens that happens that happens that happens th ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha th th th th that happens th th th that happens th that happens th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that thi that that that that thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. up from it yet. Sometimes, sometimes. Yeah, it's gonna be old. Yeah, yeah, that happens to they get older. My cat? Shit's like a human man.

Like, we're calling, like, scrawling for the fun. Oh no, no, like sighs. Like, he, we had to put him on, he was having digestive problems. So we put him on this like special, special, special, special, special, special, special, special, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, s. Like, s. Like, s. Like, s. Like, s. Like, s. Like, s. Like, that, that, th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, to put him on, he was having digestive problems, we put him on this like special, special like high fiber digestive food. And he is literally taking shit like the size of his leg. It's amazing. I routinely take shit smaller than him. That is terrifying. He's actually the patriarch of the house now. Yeah, he's in charge now.

My dog will do six human-sized shit to-day, which sort of like, he's a large dog. He weighs like- It's about the size of a Ford focus. Yeah, about that. He's 80 pounds in American units. In the old in the Queens. Yeah. But also like that logic kind of doesn't really bear scrutiny that I'm like, well, he's much bigger than a small dog so it would make sense that he's turd. But also, 40 kilo dog is still less than half my size. I don't know how he produces six times as much. It doesn't make any sense. and if you're a veterinary

scientist or a biologist listening to this and you know why dogs shit so much please write into Bud Vista at mailbag. Yeah why doesn't the world know it's probably maybe it's something like dog years right because like they live a much shorter time in us so maybe they need to shit a lot more before they. Yeah yeah it does make a lot more before they... Seven times as much, yeah. Yeah, it does make a lot of sense. That's probably right.

Quote, I don't think it's right. I think it's a serious biohazard and should be investigated thoroughly. I don't want to be shushed with some change. Our airfare cost $2,500. Is it 20% discount discount discount discount discount discount discount discount discount? And that's what Delta asks you. Am I right? Check out, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta pay the 60 extra dollars for the no blood zone. Oh, and you didn't want the blood and the diarrhea. Oh, okay, well you've only paid 150 for your fare here, so that's... Yeah. I think it was gross negligence. Yeah, really, yeah.

Really, yeah. And someone should be held accountable. Super nasty negligence. That was groaniest, fucking negligence. That was groanious cool, negligence. Thanks for coming on the show, by the way, Pat. This is pretty much it. Yeah, it's mostly diarrhea.

I'm glad, thank you. Incidents happen. We're human. We bleed. But once that plane lands, you've got to clean the aircraft. What a beautiful, humanistic approach to this incident. You know, it's sort of a, almost a Kurt Vonnegut-esque perspective of the world, seeing our floors, seeing our foibles, loving us nonetheless, but also asking that we step up to the task of getting rid of the blood and diarrhea from the footwell. It's egregious. How long would you let blood and diarrhea stay in like,

if you had a blood and diary incident in your automobile, like, would that be an instant clean for you or would that be a, you know, a couple trips to Boston? Yeah, I think a couple of trips to Boston for sure. Okay. This feels like one of those things where the stains, for sure. This feels like one of those things where they're the stains that you know if you're leaving it there for more than 10 seconds. It's just locked in for life. It's setting, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Whatever the adhesive and diarrhea is is, is set and it's just caked in now. Replaced that carpet. Yeah, replace that carpet. You're not going to be able to touc. Yeah, that'd that's to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be a to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to to to to be able to to to to be able to to be able to to be able sort of sitch. Yeah, yeah. How hard that be? You can have like box cutters and scissors on a plane, right?

I haven't flown since 2001. Yeah, that's right. And if you're under 30, yeah, go fuck tendon and ask the passenger take it into his own hands, flush it down the air, the toilet the toilet once he's th th the the th th th the th th th the th th the th th the th the th th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thoome. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, tha. Yeah, tha. Yeah, tha. Yeah. Yeah, tha. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, t. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah flush it down the air, the toilet once he's done. And then it just falls out of the airplane, right? That's how that works. That's right. Straight down. It's the Dave Matthews band system. The Chicago's little lady.

I, I, one of the challenges that I like to do for myself every now and then is trying to read the entire Wikipedia page. It th. th. th. th. th. It th. It th. It, th. It, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, th, th, the, th, the, th. the, the, the, th. the, th. thi, the, that, thi, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. It's, th. It, the, the, the, the, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. And, thea. And, thea. And, thea. And, tha. And, tha. And, tha. And, tha. And, tha, tha, tha, tha like to do for myself every now and then is trying to read the entire Wikipedia page for the Dave Matthews Bridge incident without laughing. It's so much better than you'd expect it to be. I feel like there's got to be, you know how, like the Wikipedia editor's are really quite famous for articles with a high amount of traffic for being very humorous. Like they won't let you put in a fun little phrasing or anything. Yeah, because they're very dedicated to it being neutral. I have, I feel like there's some sort of a chord there where they've agreed to let a few unbelievably well phrased things just slide. It is a gorgeous thing to read. Like there's more detail on this than there are in like

significant battles in World War 2. It is... It's easily as important, though. It has an aftermath section. Influence, legacy, critical resumption. All music games that went out out of ten. I mean Jimmy Wales has like a big data visualizer of, like where all the edits and reads are happening, and he's just seeing the like, like, the like, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, izer of the like where all the edits and reads are happening and he's just seeing the like 20% chunk of Dave Matthews band Bridge

incident being like, fuck sake. God damn it. But I can't do anything about it. I'm Jimmy Wales. All I can do is make this face. So this is an audio medium. It's where he's pleading for money. Have either of you ever donated to Wikipedia? I should have thought about it. I think I might have back in college.

Oh, that's very kind of a, I think like 99% of... No, that doesn't seem right. I think a lot of people have thought about donating to Wikipedia. But I feel like th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. Have thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi. thi. But I feel like they've got the biggest like bystander effect problem in the world where like every single person uses the website so you're like well obviously that means there's going to be a large contingent of people donating. So I'm not going to. Yeah. I think they should threaten to delete the page for the bridge incident unless we donate. That's a great fucking idea. It should be a picture of Jimmy Wales holding a printout of the Dave Matthews band Bridge Incident and a gun that being like give me $3 right now,

or we're putting this mothucker down permanently. If they threaten to get rid of my continuous use, like the ones that I'll go back and reread for fun, I might go in. The, the list of th, a th, a the th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a picture, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th. A th. A. A. A, a th. A. thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a that, a that, a that, a that, like the ones that I'll go back and reread for fun, I might go in. The list of common misconceptions is a staggeringly exciting to read. Oh my, like if you've got an hour spare at any point, nip into the Wikipedia list of common misconceptions because it is extraordinarily long and unbelievably entertaining. And you might even learn something. You might learn a thing or two. There's a bunch of stuff in there where you're like,

I never thought that. At no point of my life have I believed this. But there's a whole ton of stuff in there where like, there's sort of common truths that you've heard said your entire life. And then you're like, wait, there's no way that can be true. Shit, like, you know, where people like shaving makes hair grow back faster. It doesn't. It's just that they're, yeah. It looks like thicker growth because it doesn't taper at the end.

And then you have to think, how did I think that in the first place? What is wrong with me? Are you tired of paying nothing for the same old superior quality free episodes of the Buntavista podcast? Do you want less politics and more content about diarrhea, our animals gone wild? You're tired of skipping through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg Film Shooter? Well boy do I have the offer of a lifetime for you. That's right, for just five US dollars a month, you too can be a premium VIP member of the Buntavista Patreon. That's right, just five

US dollars for all of our bonus episodes. That's over 300 hours of content from the hosts you know and definitely tolerate. I'll even throw in access to our glamorous and exclusive discord server, where bizarre arguments only happen once or twice a week at most. Head to Patreon. to the next five minutes and I won't know because that's not my job, but you'll be enjoying the sweet satisfaction of supporting us, and we will love you romantically for it. That's my promise to you. Jimmy Wiles, please don't take those articles away from me.

Hey, traveling by plane, that seems fraught with danger. There should be another way to travel the skies. Perhaps by Balloon? It's time for balloonly speaking. That's incredible. That's a- Those two themes sent him by the same guy. Yeah, lovely Matthew, who I, once again, as I say, every time we play, one of his thi-s, thiuuuies, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to to two themes sent in by the same guy. Yeah, lovely Matthew, who I once again, as I say, every time we play, one of his themes, must stress, he has designed spacesuit gloves for NASA.

Yeah. Thank you. This is the position that we find ourselves in where we do, as you have now experienced, Patrick, the stupidest podcast that has ever existed at our listenership is like 30% people building the CERN Super Collider, 20% Academy Awardees, and then like 50 percent unshowered dunces. Yeah. Countellytic convertives. Yeah. It's very strange. So this is an update on a story that we only mentioned very briefly because there weren't a lot of details about it, but it came up in

episode 252, which was three and a half tons of frozen pies outside Joliet, Illinois. This one is from WTMJ and Milwaukee, the lock jaw jaw. That's a little joke there because TMJ is, yeah, yeah, jaw muscles don't work. I know two people with TMJ. Is this like tetanus related? No. Is that what lock jaw is?

Oh, the lock jaw you can get from tetanus. But TMJ is just a muscular issue with your mandibular. You're something mandibular. And then you can't open your jaw fully wide anymore or it hurts. I can see the reflection of the common misconceptions page in your glass. It's the, I am looking at, I am learning that the mafia actually never really used cement shoes on their victims.

Oh, come on. Two document cases. There are a few ones in there that are vibe killers. Do you have TMJ? I do. Do you want to see how far I can open my mouth? Pardon? Are you the world's illus man? That's not a very open mouth.

I'm sad to say... I can push it further, but it'll pop. Oh no, don't do that. You cannot be the throat goat. Sad to say, Patrick, you are not the throat. It's awful having a doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor doctor to have to have to to to to to to that to to that thi that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that w w w w w w w words that words that words that words that words that words that words that words that words that words that words you that words you that words you that words you thi thi thi thi thi the thi the the the the the the the thea thea the the to that. to that that that that that thi to throat goat. I was sad to say, Patrick, you are not the throat goat. It's awful having a doctor tell you that words you never think you'll hear. Look, you're going to be fine, but you will never be the throat goat. This comes to us from very personally named WTMJ and Milwaukee.

Final NTSB report blames pilot error for Burlington balloon crash that injured three. Now, as we know about balloons, it's kind of hard to have pilot error because you're not really in control of the balloon in any way shape or form. But, um, yeah. You've got to leave and make a fun little flame come out, and that's about all you got. Yeah, that's just for show. It's not connected to anything. Hey, check this out. I'm horrified of ever being in a balloon. Have either of you ever been in a balloon? Yeah.

Yeah. The throw is horrified of being in a balloon and he has been in one. Are you less terrified after having done it now? No. No. No. My lived experience is they're scary as fuck because they don't They like It's weird because they hurdle themselves at like mountains and stuff and they rely on the air draft

The the like region of higher pressure moving air over the side of a hill to like carry the balloon up Oh, you are 100% going towards the hill for like 90% of the journey. You're kind of like a man being carried through the waters of a stormwater drain. Yeah. The stormwater drain is the atmosphere and the water is the air. And then when I hit the grade at the end, I propose to my wife. Yeah, you did. Did she say yes? Yes, my wife is no longer a signal. Thank you. Okay. All right. Well, that's. That that that that's. That that. that. that. that. that. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. thi. thi. thia. thia. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. thea. to. to. to. too. too. train. train. train. train. train. train. train. toea. thea. thea. you. Okay. All right. Well, that's... Yeah. Okay. I make other plans. I'm not sure if you recollect a detail for this episode, but I think this might come as a bit of surprise to you as well. The National Transportation Safety Boards,

NTSBs, final report release Thursday, blames pilot error for a 2022 Burlington balloon crash that hit a train and injured three people. Yeah!. There's some there is some GTAR stuff that is happening in the world. Yeah, types of vehicles that should be interacting. And I think this is like this is the part of the world that we're trying to, which we're trying to dig at, right? And like so much of this stuff doesn't end up even going viral or whatever. The other one we did was the guy that, that tried to break into four helicopters. It just popped to fence up and the airfield.

tried to break into the fourth one and got it to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to break into four helicopters, got into the fourth one and got it to start, flew like 30 meters, smashed into the ground, got up and walked away. All the experts they talked to in the article were like, it's incredible he managed to make a take off. This man is a helicopter genius. We have had, yeah, I don't know if it's just one of those things where the more you pay attention to stuff, the crazier it seems or whatever, but like the guy that stole a car at the airport because he was so mad that he missed his flight, a dude that went for a joyride and a cement mixer. There was a story I didn't include in the notes for today because it wasn't that funny, but it was about a guy who was driving an oil tanker while six times over the legal limit. Oh my God.

Is this in America? This is six times over the American limit. Yeah, so 0.8. Yeah, 0.42. 0. 0. . Yeah, but.

. . I mean, if it's happening, God, yes. Do you guys get much into apes and primates driving cars? Oh, I mean if it's happening, God, yes. There's this orangutan in, I think, the UAE somewhere. Was it the one that they let drive a golf cart? He likes driving a golf cart around the zoo. Yeah, and I think they let it drive an escalade too. The, uh, fuck, the, these, I host these movie events at some venues here and my, like, the title card that comes up after everything's done to give me time to get from the sounds

off desk to the laptop is just footage of that orangutan driving around on the golf golf cart because it's such a tranquil vibe. I feel great. So first's chilling. I feel great. So first of all, you assumed that that orangutan is a man. That's a lady. God damn it, shit. Yeah. So yeah, she's wonderful. And I'm very in favor of her driving the golf cart. Don't like it when they put her in the real car. That worries me so much. The next face is like giving her a gun. Crossing a line. Yeah. We actually gave a chimp the Uchigatana. He should not have that.

I just, I feel like, yeah, something somewhat profane is happening once you put them into a real car that isn't the case with a golf cart. Like, they can still fuck you up with a golf cart. For sure. The golf carts are for goofs. Yeah, they are funny kind of. Cars, an escalate? That's the least funny car there is. And it's for us.

Yeah, yeah, stay out of it. Lower order of primers. Primus to me. I went upright and that means I get to drive an escalate if I want. You don't. They can't recognize that it's them in the mirror and they're not allowed to drive an escalate. These are the things I know about primates. They do. They do. Yeah, so they should be able to drive escalates. That seems logically sound. The hot air balloon crashed and hit a train in the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. the. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. train near Calumet and Jefferson in the city

of Burlington on June 1st, 2022. Three people including the pilot suffered life-threatening injuries. Two of the victims had to be flown to the hospital by flight for life. Now the flight for life balloon came and picked them up. Gently wafted them towards whatever hospital was in the same direction as the wind. Is this a particularly Burlington thing to have happened, Patrick? Yeah, and that it's really stupid and it should not have happened. Yeah, no.

Burlington, Vermont is, yeah, it's a place where nobody has anything real to do, so they get in balloons and they float around. Deeply unserious people flying balloons into train. So actually the only time I went to Burlington was I was really young. I was like seven or eight. So this was like, or maybe younger. And this was like 92-93 and it was like a crazy like hipster college town at this point, but at the absolute peak of weird 90s hipster. So I remember seeing like people walk around and like cat in the hat hats and like round holographic glasses and stuff.

So that is still exactly what I imagine is going on in Burlington right now. So when this... Imagine them pulling them out of the building. Loading them into the back of an ambulance. Having to take their stilts off so they get closed the tall. It's just the trail of devil sticks spilled out of the bullet. The report says that NTSB determined the problem will cause the accident to be, quote, the pilot's selection of an inappropriate landing location and his failure to avoid an oncoming train.

A train and a train. Yeah, that seems right. Which resulted in a train colliding with and dragging the balloon. Oh, dragging. Yeah, that's worse, right? It's still going. Oh man. Yeah, you think the ordeal is over once you've hit the train, you're like, fuck, I'm in a lot of paper.

But at least I'm okay. And then you're like, the worst thing that's going to happen to be two days. You have your little like Marvel movie dialogue moment where you're like, uh-oh. And then you get whift along? It's still moving. Yeah. Balloon's get dragged now? The report explains that the pilot was attempting to land the balloon on a road that paralleled railroad tracks. Choose different road, man.

Hey, check this out. You guys want to see a train from up close? But no other balloon flight is promising this. A freight train was traveling on the tracks at the same time. The balloon initially touched down on a glassy ear. Grassy ear. grassy ear, I'm sure, Grassy ear, but skipped and stopped near the tracks. According to the report, the balloon envelope dipped due to being slightly deflated.

Yeah, I feel that sometimes. Yeah, I got caught on the uprights of an empty lumber car as it passed. Oh, fuck. That is very unfortunate. And this is just as they're like just taking it like a deep saw. Yeah. Ah. The stressful part is over. The thing is that a balloon moves so slowly, even when it's moving fast, you would see it happening. You would be able to point and not be able to articulate with your mouth what was about to happen before it happened,

and then it would happen. Yeah. It's the Austin Powers steamroller saying, except like, actually can't move. It's just fucking, and like you'd have a little bit of time after it's hooked on as well to know you're about to be dragged. Like, that would be the worst moment. That's that little like, okay, all right, I had plans this evening. I don't think I'm going out to dinner anymore, like regardless of how this goes. To me, the worst part would be when my balloon got dragged by a train. Oh, well, I hate the expectation of coming into strife, whereas you hate coming into strife. That's very interesting.

This caused the balloon to lift off the ground and be dragged. As the envelope tore away from the basket, the three people in the basket fell out, according to a witness report. Lake Geneva Balloon Company previously said in a statement to the to to to to to to to the the to the to the to the to the the the to the the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their their their their their their their their their the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation the expectation their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the three people in the basket fell out, according to a witness report. Lake Geneva Balloon Company previously said in a statement to TMJ4 that the balloon that crashed was with their company, but it was being operated by a subcontractor. Perfect excuse. Yeah, we wouldn't do that normally.

That guy brought a new practice into the business, which is hooking on to a moving freight train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train the the their their their train their train. their the into the business which is hooking on to a moving freight train. And we don't agree with that. Yeah, we're so anti that. Yeah, goddamn. Also imagine if the TMJ four was jazz band of people that all, all four members had TMJ. They're all playing oboes and basins. Oh yeah, read instruments you'd be fine. Just maybe nothing we have to form a, the flutes out, because you're gonna make that ambushure.

Yeah. I don't think that'd be fine too. Are there any brass or woodwind instruments where you just really need to open them out the real wide? It'd be funny if the bigger an instrument was like the bigger your mouth had to be your mouth around like a four-inch pipe. You're doing the scream pose to play the tuber. Wide open.

I think that was technically an episode of the podcast. Point Vista. Thank you so much for joining us. Yeah. What a delight. Are you on any of the websites that are left or have you moved to any of the new ones? Where can people find you? Yeah, I do Twitch streams, Twitch. Twitch. Uh, slash, no, pizza, underscore, suplex.

And then I think the only other side I'm on is Instagram, which is pizza, thevo. Yeah. Yeah yeah because they destroyed Twitter. They did. Yeah it was good. It was good and it's bad. They got rid of the they're getting rid of circles as well which was like the only good new feature they'd introduced in the last 10 years because you can be I get really self-conscious about tweeting if I'm really drunk or really stone because I might say something incredibly stupid. So you can do it in circles and be like, I'm having a nice day. And then your friends will say, that's nice.

Yeah, they're ditching it. Fuck you. Yeah, and that one guy from Melbourne can't reply like, yeah, but you have to live in Brisbane, am I right? Yeah, it's nice here. Shut up. Gorgeous. Trying to have a nice day, pal. That's it. Thank you again for joining us.

You, the listener, and you, Patrick. We'll see you next week. Bye-bye. Bye.